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My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!13 -
That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.
I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!
Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡20 -
Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.
Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.2 -
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.9 -
Forbes: Adblock Detected. Please Turn off your Ad blocker.
Me: *Turns off Adblock*
*Clicks on Continue*
Forbes: Thank you for turning off your Ad Blocker! blah blah
3...2...
Me: *quickly turns on Adblock*
1...
*clicks on Continue*
*Adblock blocks 11 ads and Forbes loads*16 -
*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*
*installs Open Camera*
Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!
Yeah fuck right off.23 -
You know what? I'm fucking done with people telling me that open source alternatives to popular/proprietary suck by default.
Something does NOT suck by default just because it's FUCKING open source.
Have you got any fucking clue where we'd be right now if open source software didn't exist?!
Let me just remind you that about 80 percent of the worlds' servers run Linux. Open-FUCKING-source.
How the fuck are we supposed to innovate without open sourceness? Yes indeed, that would be about fucking impossible.
Although I've got to admit that some open source software programs don't work 100 well (in comparison to alternatives), what are you expecting? People put their free time into that shit and they've got to make money as well.
"well how are programmers supposed to feed their families if they only write open source software?"
Fuck right off. Of course we all need an income to survive. Hell, I need that as fucking well. But there's more to it than just work. Some people consider open source/working on open source software a hobby/passion. That doesn't even remotely mean thaty they don't work/don't need some kind of income.
If it wasn't for open source, we'd be nowhere (technologially seeing) right now.36 -
Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.
Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.
I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.
Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.
What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?9 -
If you come to me, and ask for my opinion about something, then you throw “You’re wrong” at my face. Then why the fuck did you ask me in the first place? Fucking cunt21
-
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.8 -
I HATE when I type :) and it comes out 😀, y'all need to KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. If I say :/ I mean :/ not 🤔 or 😒or whatever emotion you're forcing me into.
Also ++ to devRant for getting this RIGHT! To them I say 😀😁😃😄9 -
Anyone seen this? https://www.foaas.com/ FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off. An API for telling people to fuck off.3
-
When you work too late and can't mentally switch off so you just start the next day without any sleep
5 -
To my ex manager
you left to berlin, and left me to rot
my new lead sucks, i kid you not
it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill
But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill
I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?
was doing so for years, now i lost what i had
I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call
so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall
its like 10 to 6 is now constant work
I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk16 -
"JavaScript was built in a weekend"
Yeah it was ... But not the version we have today ... Twats saying well I'm sure you can build this app in a few hours 🙄4 -
I frckin HATE people who say 'Ah, you can program now? So can you make a game for me? I even have some ideas!, bla bla blurb...'
It makes me wanna hurt them. And the really, really sad thing about it is: nearly no one understands why.4 -
The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.16 -
Headphones ON ears means DON'T disturb unless it's important.
Talking about the chance of rain is not f*ing important. Especially when it's the 10th effin time I'm interrupted by nonsense officetalk in one hour!6 -
Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.
When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.
Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.28 -
Don't develop depression, develop a personality instead, be more outgoing and outspoken, work out, dress better and make your life shit that goes beyond coding.
Tired of people in tech being this way. Everyone acts as if monkeying away on the keyboard makes them some sort of autistic genius that is too good for everyone else.
Some of you have the social skillset of a fucking potato.
You code dude. Most of you develop websites...chill the fuck out.52 -
https://fuckoff.services.
Wrote it because fuck it why not. Was sick at home and wanted to build something :)
Feedback would be great!
About the short character limit, I might up it a little but this thing is about writing short messages and not stories so that's a choice on purpose.42 -
That moment when your password is constantly rejected and you realize that the fucking NUM LOCK IS OFF.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ 💻6 -
I'm starting to think customers know when I'm busy and take that moment to break their products.
I JUST WANT TO LET MY LEG SOAK IN EPSOM WATER... your users are going to bed soon, it's a freaking Saturday, and you need to go get laid because you have too much time on your hands. I'm in pain and cannot help you restore service if you don't stay on the line. So please... don't. Fucking. Call me. Unless you're going to stay on the line to test. You're pushing my limits, and if my voice gets any quieter, it means I'm about to find your porn accounts and register you as an amateur, uploading cows fucking to get you banned from all the services. Congratulations sir, you've pissed me off so bad, I'm using my "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" voice I learned from my mother. I hope you're happy. I'm so mad I'm not even swearing anymore. I always swear.
Edit: if my voice ever sounds sweet and demure over the phone, someone is about to get fucked with a red hot fireplace poker. This fucker getting close.1 -
Fuck Off As A Service(FOAAS) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
http://foaas.com/
Finally , a usefuckingful service.2 -
And here I am creeped the fuck out by Google (as always) suggesting me to take photos of the bakery I'm at while having location and WiFi turned off :)18
-
Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.
Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.
Fuck of and die.5 -
"hi, we have some dns records we'd like to change, they're in the attachment. Could you send a message when it's done? Thanks in advance!"
No, fuck off. Fucking cunts.15 -
The trend of referring to staff you just laid off as “alumni” is fucking stupid.
So is emailing and asking said recently laid off staff to join an “alumni committee” that involves, among other things: going to off sites and community events that the company will almost CERTAINLY be using for recruiting photos and “Best place to work” blog posts.
Just send me my final pay and fuck off already.4 -
A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!3 -
Apparently the same guy that likes to type on a turned off macbook, likes to look at his turned off phone too
Previously: https://devrant.com/rants/1383459/...
14 -
Just the other day I got back from getting an extra monitor.. and just when I came back home, some older lady that also lives in this residence came to me, all panicked because her left car lights wouldn't turn off. So she asked me whether I could fix it, because I'm a man and therefore technical... Yeah.
Told her I don't know anything about cars (I don't even have a driver's license), and she should ask someone else.. but she kept clinging on to me and eventually I figured.. screw it, how hard can it be?
Got to her car, yada yada yada.. lady opens the door, and it's full of fucking buttons everywhere! No fucking way that I'm gonna dabble with those. So, do the easiest thing first.
"Ma'm, could you please turn on the car?"
*Turns car on, all lights light up*
🤔 Fair enough...
"Hmm.. and what happens if you turn it off now?"
*Turns car off, all lights go off*
Lady: "I've got no idea how you've done it but thank you so much, you're an angel!! 😊"
Me: "Well.. 😅 let's just say that turning it on, off and back on again works at least 90% of the time..."13 -
How to politely tell your client that their request for the new 'little' feature is unrealistic and fucking absurd?14
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Turning off your pc by holding down the power button is like putting yourself to sleep every night by shooting yourself in the face with a tranquilizer gun7
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Finally Going to Resign !!
I worked only for a month in current company but it feels everyday I am dealing with dementors.6 -
"doEs AnYOnE HAVE IssUeS wiTh gETTing gIrl beCoz CodIng"
lmao what a fucking dweeb. What a loser really. How about we don't make a fucking job something akin to a personality trait?
were I single, would I sell myself as a "cODER" to a girl? fuck no, do some of you nerds really introduce yourself in such way? is this bs ass job your end all be all? aye, this be the easiest way to poise yourself in the complete opposite direction of the female sexual organ.
Fucking quit that shit, ain't no one really gasping for air because you can lay down some fucking js in a website, who gives a fuck? like really? these posts are so fucking annoying.
Grow a pair, and some personality.
Background: some dweeb complaining to me about finding it hard to get girls because of his "passion" station women would lose interest because all he would talk about is dev shit46 -
Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.9 -
I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.
Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.
Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.
Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡
Fucking hell.13 -
*suddenly wakes up thinking I'm late for work*
*Realises it's a holiday*
*Goes back to sleep again*
PS: Sadly this happens every other day of week :/2 -
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.13 -
Many times I struggled to find the right words to ask people to fuck off. Now I remind them of social distancing.2
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It's been a year , I have been contributing to open source and using GitHub.......
There were some people who criticized me for doing open source, saying there's no future in that and u will end up doing nothing.
(But I never listened to them and ignored there words)
Few days back the same person asks me how to start contributing to open source and help him learn git.
U know what I did then??
I ignored again.2 -
Me : Today we have to demonstrate our progress to client. So remove all the dead code from the project which we had written for debugging.
** Removes all the comments2 -
First off: setup reveal
second off: thanks everyone for the 1000++!!
Lastly: devrant stickers!
Thanks @dfox and @trogus for making this awesome platform
10 -
It must be exhausting for people in 2018 to always be on the hunt for something to be outraged or offended about.9
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Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
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A dev team has been spending the past couple of weeks working on a 'generic rule engine' to validate a marketing process. The “Buy 5, get 10% off” kind of promotions.
The UI has all the great bits, drop-downs, various data lookups, etc etc..
What the dev is storing the database is the actual string representation FieldA=“Buy 5, get 10% off” that is “built” from the UI.
Might be OK, but now they want to apply that string to an actual order. Extract ‘5’, the word ‘Buy’ to apply to the purchase quantity rule, ‘10%’ and the word ‘off’ to subtract from the total.
Dev asked me:
Dev: “How can I use reflection to parse the string and determine what are integers, decimals, and percents?”
Me: “That sounds complicated. Why would you do that?”
Dev: “It’s only a string. Parsing it was easy. First we need to know how to extract numbers and be able to compare them.”
Me: “I’ve seen the data structures, wouldn’t it be easier to serialize the objects to JSON and store the string in the database? When you deserialize, you won’t have to parse or do any kind of reflection. You should try to keep the rule behavior as simple as possible. Developing your own tokenizer that relies on reflection and hoping the UI doesn’t change isn’t going to be reliable.”
Dev: “Tokens!...yea…tokens…that’s what we want. I’ll come up with a tokenizing algorithm that can utilize recursion and reflection to extract all the comparable data structures.”
Me: “Wow…uh…no, don’t do that. The UI already has to map the data, just make it easy on yourself and serialize that object. It’s like one line of code to serialize and deserialize.”
Dev: “I don’t know…sounds like magic. Using tokens seems like the more straightforward O-O approach. Thanks anyway.”
I probably getting too old to keep up with these kids, I have no idea what the frack he was talking about. Not sure if they are too smart or I’m too stupid/lazy. Either way, I keeping my name as far away from that project as possible.4 -
"If you use a css framework splat splat splat splat bullshit bullshit bullshit"
Listen fam, I write apps that a good portion of the time will be used internally by the company I represent or work for. They don't give 2 flying fucks if I write an entire webpack ecosystem for them to push out assets and 10k outher bs shit in to their frontend end. They just care that shit connects properly to their backend and it spits out the information they need, which 9 times out of 10 does not require a lot of the shit y'all cry about.
Bootstrap will suffice, bulma will suffice. I don't neckbeard over simple shit like this.15 -
it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site
oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF1 -
Bought myself a Samsung s3 and while choosing what apps I want to receive notifications from, I noticed everything was off by one.
6 -
What do you guys do on off time? More code? Gaming?
I mostly spend weekends with my girlfriend and away from code. Helps clear my head for the coming week.20 -
This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...
...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck10 -
We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.
I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:
"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v
Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message
"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/
Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know
15 -
I fucking hate it when people don't turn off their phone screen when the put their phone down or in their pocket4
-
Turns out Google round off the answer automatically, just like that, no side note, nothing, just round off.
7 -
> wifi: on
> bluetooth: off
> me: turns off wifi
> ubuntu: *FLIGHT MODE ACTIVATED*
> scratchrecord4.mp3
> me: curious
> me: turns off flight mode
> ubuntu: turns on bluetooth
> dafuq.png12 -
I bought hosting and domain last year, I uploaded my site and left it for months. Last month I logged onto my webhost's user panel and the "login to cpanel" option of my hosting directed me to someone else's premium hosting, I realised it late and I had already deleted whole of the WP site as I presumed it was mine. I left the database intact, reached out to the domain owner getting the info via whois, surprisingly he is was all fine losing his merchant navy academy website.
However, I WAS NOT FINE because I am not fucking expecting my webhost to give someone access to my hosting, just like I got access to his.
Been two weeks and they are unable to fix it and I am pissed off. I had no urgent need but I WANT ACCESS WHEN I WANT.
They are not as big as GoDaddy but they are a reputed hosting provider in my country with nice and fancy WP domain etc management portal and everything. I never expected this from then. How the fuck would they let this happen.5 -
I find it annoying when non-tech savvy people criticize the Parler devs for using AWS because "it's Amazon they had it coming", I don't know the devs or company behind that website, I've never used it, but wtf man do you have any idea what's involved in building, deploying and maintaining a platform like that or any other similar? ffs you would barely be able to write an HTML blog by yourself and you dare judge devs for using AWS. fuck off.
I agree with the sentiment, it sucks, if my platform was removed from AWS I probably would keep it that way because I don't have the money to afford the hardware nor am I somewhere that's readily available and that's what is really sad it would suck that just because Amazon doesn't like you or you don't have the influence to fight it you and your userbase can go fuck off. Very bad precedent, it is discouraging.68 -
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work
8 -
Can't fucking stand permanently lazy devs who don't give a shit about their craft.
Fuck off and go do something else that you actually give a shit about! *
😤😤😤😤🤬
* unless you're burnt out - then I'm sorry they overworked you x5 -
Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)7 -
Windows you dense motherfucker! Now you come with two different fucking candy crush games and some fucking disney piece of shit botnet useless game consuming an entire GB of precious ssd space?? What the flying fuck i swear i hate this piece of junk more and more every day.
Furthermore, i got my motherboard replaced the other day since it suddenly died and now i cant boot into linux anymore since windows decided it's the only os to live on my laptop? Fuck off3 -
Hours of refactoring just to get 0.5 seconds increase in performance per document generation.
Sounds small but makes a big difference when generating 100k documents.
Still not happy with it though...2 -
How to take off with a jet:
1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C
FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.7 -
!rant
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
For AI, in particular Deep Learning developers, practitioners, hobbyists and otherwise people interested in the field.
If you go into the Pytorch website, click on resources and scroll down you will see a link to "Deep Learning with Pytorch" by Manning publications. This will give you access to the book, a book that if memory serves me well costs about 40+ in printing and the online book format is about 29 (again, if memory serves well)
The book is currently FREE and it does not ask you for an email address, you can just tell them why you want it for and they will give you the free pdf download.
I don't know how good the book is, but have found Manning to publish really good resources.
Do with this information what you want.
And yes, I am leaving the rant tag, so that more people can see this and take advantage of the opportunity in case of being interested and not having the money to purchase the book after the promotion is done and over with. Fuck you about tags and shit.9 -
So just caught two colleagues playing quake arena. Once the boss has a day off...
Of course i will join them now! Happy friday everyone 😄 -
Currently balancing my full time job. A Rails bigass project and certain php contracts.
The rails one is unpaid, and I am doing it on my free time since my "payment" would be a portion of the company and a CTO position once it is done. I am building it with one of my best friends and he got the contract from this one dude he has who is loaded and will be selling this to the dptmnt of education of certain country.
The thing is, we all know how it works with those projects. The CEO had contracted this project to some people. He paid them handsomely and as is the case with certain situations the project was abandonded, the devs took the money and ran. So that is why he decided that instead of paying people like he should he would instead try and see if he could get someone interested. He told my friend to get himself an "American developer" since he was fed up with the devs of said country and that is how I am here now.
But the thing is, he is somewhat desperate to see something and even tho I show advancements on a weekly basis I hate the wordings of his group text messages:
"All right guys. I need to see some advancements, show me what you got now"
Motherfucker. You sit your ass and WAIT for me to want to show you something, but don't demand shit like if you are paying me. As far as I know my priorities lie in my current day job or the other people that ARE paying me.
>i need to see some advancements
Fuck off.6 -
What the fuck
I just saw an ad for a RetroPi on Craiglist and they're trying to charge $300 for it 😂😂10 -
Nothing pisses me off more, than when you've attended interviews and you never hear back 😡
It's just common curtersy!6 -
No fuck off we don't need a team meeting about it.
We shouldn't need to go in front of a panel to begin with, let us get on with our job and let us automate the shit so sprint planning wouldn't be so difficult2 -
When you've finished a project and the site goes live, you get a message from the client "looking good". To me that implies it's not finished, and I'm expecting a follow up message "can you just..."4
-
"Hey, I need a website making.."
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF.
"I can't believe you're turning away work.."
As if I don't have enough shit to deal with without this douchebag. -
What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!
8 -
PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.4 -
So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.
*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*3 -
Being a programmer is like being Nic Cage characters.
Some days you're kicking a bear in the gut, others you wanna rip your own face off1 -
Hey Guys Look.
It's that asshole who never paid me calling me about his brand new idea.
Should I pick it?8 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
!dev
I want to say to my cheating whore of an ex, you were never worth the time nor the effort. You are my only regret in life. There are actually way more pretty and nice and probably honest girls than you'll ever be!20 -
Saying I am an Android developer is another way of letting people ask 'can you build something like WhatsApp?'
Well there is world beyond that! Grow up people. Just tired of listening this. Fuck off.2 -
Was an aspiring 2nd grade student then, still a newbie in databases and stuff.
Managed to work with bossy motherfucker who didn't give a flying fuck about proper management, team culture, job roles and everything and treated people like shit.
The big boss wanted me to develop the ecommerce website that integrates with 1c (complete and utterly garbage buggy ass dbms with RUSSIAN SYNTAX, nuff said) and with its own crm to track every employee and even real time chat. He also wanted it to be a kind of online medical wikipedia. And he wanted me to take a professional photo of each and every fucking item for this website, somewhere around 5 thousand photos.
He offered me around 800 bucks for all that job. No, not monthly. He wanted me to do all that shit alone, for 800 bucks and expected it to be up and running in less than two months.
Gently told him to fuck off. Quit that job the same day.2 -
Have you tried turning it off and on again
(Seriously though, don't ask someone for help until you've turned it off and on again)3 -
Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
😒😡1 -
Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about
6 -
You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
I hate all these projects with cute cartoons, phrases and prompts, when you're debugging under pressure they're so fucking infuriating. Right now I want to destroy that dumb GitHub issues bot with a baseball bat.1
-
Parents: You want anything for your birthday?
Me: yeah, can I have a newer PC
Parents: Cool
Me: Also, can I spend a majority of my time alone messing with it?
Parents: Sure
My parents were really laid back and basically let me do what I wanted -
The amount of sass I give people from other departments at work that think that they can just walk all over my guys is something to write books about.
Someone already tried pulling some shit with me and the hod, so what did I do? I fuckd her app up and moved her dumbass down to the bottom of the queue, now she gets to do manual paperwork for here till I get tired of it. Again, that is what your dumbass gets for harrasing my guys ...1 -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
DevRant is so purely dedicated to ranting that if one has to talk about coding and development, he/she should tag it "off-topic".1
-
I fucking hate Facebook cocksuckers... They're the worst I tell you...
And did I mention Facebook pays NGOs to 'advertise' about Facebook as an advertisement platform... Fuckkkk
And I am fucking forced to sit down and clap for these ass kissers, even though I don't have Facebook...2 -
So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.
The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it. -
Dear Windows Defender,
why do you automatically delete my shit? I thought i turned you off for the n'th time already.
Fuck off, i have bitdefender.3 -
"Can you look at this bug when inputting negative numbers?"
I check the app and think, "negative numbers don't make sense here".
Sure enough there is validation in place to prevent negative numbers being typed.
Yet they still managed...
By pasting in negative numbers, after being unable to type them, thinking "fuck it I'll paste it instead", then complaining to us because they abused our app.
Seriously.
Fuck.
Off.2 -
Companies in my country think that since you are a developer, you must be also a product designer. You must know where to put the button, the table etc.
Especially back end developers.2 -
What pisses me off most: on-site team/client team not specifying a non reproducable issue properly in an email and expecting a quick fix for it ASAP, making me run in circles.3
-
fuck off with the “do x in y lines of python code” it’s getting so goddamn annoying. yes python is concise. yes libraries do everything. you don’t need to show off someone else’s work with clickbait.
everything is like
“make a web server in 2 lines of python code”
import http.server
server = http.server.serve()
“mine bitcoin in 2 lines of python code”
import bitcoinminer
bitcoinminer.mine()
“do crazy math with 4 lines of python code”
import complex
import numpy
num1 = 1
num2 = 1
num3 = complex.addVectorMagnitudes(num1, num2)8 -
I just got out of working 10 hour days and alternating Saturdays at work for the head honchos to say "Yeah, you guys have a month before you're all laid off. We're giving your job to the group that helped you during the busy season."
So guess what I get to do: job hunt!
Except no one in my area is hiring Linux System Administrators and my wife doesn't wanna move.1 -
I’m so fucking pissed off right now ... what the actual fuck!!! I worked so damn hard during this semester i got 70% for a presentation whilst some jack off who gets 100 fucking hundred percent doing it last minute by MY FUCKING HELP and also has the nerve to tell me to stay silent while he enjoys his Fucking undeserved HD (high distinction)
Well guess fucking what???? I’m not staying damn silent !!!! I’ll definitely be watching out for who I help in the near future, 😡 1AM i should be sound asleep but im legit so bloody pissed right now...I put my heart into my project stayed up late nights till 2 bloody fooking AM many times in a row, put my heart into my FREAKING presentation and i get stabbed in the back?!? Well thats how i feel right now.. i dont know how i will sleep tonight.. what PISSES ME OFF THE MOST IS HOW SOMEONE HAS THE NERVE TO TELL ME TO BE QUITE SO THEY ENJOY THEIR UNDERSERVED MARKS!!!
anyways guys and gals.. i had to get that off my chest. Thank you for taking the time to read my rant.. as always wishing you all the best.
Milo11 -
Sometimes I think at least 40% of showing productivity relates to how many applications on your screen are colored in Solarized Dark.5
-
Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!
Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)
Fuck this shit -_- -
every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)
"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'
yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO
ARRRGGGH
fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker16 -
-- Best --
> Submitted my notice of termination for my current job
> Found a new job starting next year
> Can switch from Windows to Linux/MacOS in new job
> Got more time to work on personal projects due to the pandemic
-- Worst --
> Huge amount of software restrictions (current job) almost got several projects at work canceled. Maybe its important to say that the core business of my current workplace is auditing so there are a lot of law regulations which then apply in the softwaredevelopment process.
> New managers that do not have the slightest clue of what they're doing
> Online Teambuilding events
> Absurd amount of segmentation of tools and also different coding guidelines that are used at work. E.g. one team uses jira, another trello, another github issue tracker and so on. -
Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!5 -
The thing I hate the most at the moment, is working/receiving tasks on chat (Skype, telegram).
Content, corrections and all. As I like to scroll my hand off to copy your fucking content while you keep writing on an on.
Write a motherfucking document!
Now I start raging at the any chat notifications 😡😈2 -
Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
Me: ❓4 -
Fuck, some feature requests seriously…
I’m sorry but this business app is being built for adults. I’m sorry if that doesn’t accommodate all users. -
U guys know anyone who would ask "Can I turn off this power switch?" AFTER they already turned it off? My mother did that. On a PC that was in the middle of a large file upload over a ridiculously slow internet...1
-
So what do you call it when you get bombarded by emails saying your servers are at 100% CPU, but once you fire up the monitoring tools everything is back to normal?
FUCK YOU AMAZON IT'S MY DAY OFF.3 -
Today was my last day before taking a week off from work. When I originally pushed my branch, GitHub knew I had 7 files changed. I squashed my commits and pushed so that there was one commit. GitHub then decided I had Infinity files changed. Fun way to end the week, posting “I *swear* that I didn’t just put up a PR for review before taking a week off that has Infinity file changes.”6
-
First time to lay off someone. Man that feels not good, even if the person was still in probation period...
-
My day today:
- tell everyone to fuck off and are idiots politely from 10 to 4
- tell them if they won’t fuck off now I will start looking for a job - 1 hour
- listening them apologizing me - 1 hour
- code and solve problems - 1 hour
Mondays
Hopefully I start working on Tuesday.5 -
Why can’t i permanently turn off Bluetooth on an iPad? I swipe down, tap ‘Bluetooth’ and instead of turning it off permanently like any sane design decision (as in, how Android does it) it decides to only turn it off for a day? Why??? Who wants that??16
-
I've been a "firefighter" on our big money-making project for like a year now and probably will be for the next year. Every sprint, fully booked out.
However, this sprint, some people think I have time to brainstorm, learn new tech and attend meetings related to a completely new project.
"Will it done in 2 weeks?"
"How long do you estimate?"
I can knock up a rough version of your fucking application in about a week if someone grows some fucking balls and schedules me some fucking time for it. STFU and stop interrupting my other work. Allocate some time or shove it up your ass so far until you regurgitate it then swallow it again and choke on it. -
Trying to make an event calendar in javascript--too busy laughing and scrolling here. Maybe I'll stay up until 4 to compensate
-
Fuck this algorithms course. How the fuck do you expect me to populate a 2d array of N^2 elements with data in linear time if you won't fucking let me write to more than one element at a time???
Dear CS department,
Make sure your homework makes fucking sense before shipping it off to students.
Regards,
A pissed off student
And before anyone comes at me with this "But you can technically do that if there's k*N elements and it would still be linear time" shit, fuck off; there's a worst case of needing to write to half the elements in the 2d array so it's still N^2 no matter how you try to "but technically" your way though it.3 -
Today shall be a good day, took a day of annual leave. It's sunny and I intend not touching my laptop.1
-
Recruiters that sent me (3 times) a straight plain job offer that begins with "before apply please check carefully if you satisfy all the requirements" so without even spent time to check if I'm the person they're looking for (I'm not) should get the fuck out of my inbox.
Are they fucking using a bot? They reached that level of uselessness?4 -
Been invited to a bi-weekly meeting about a project that I'm not even working on yet.
I think I'll just go and cut my own brake cables then drive home. -
Lack of trust from the bosses. You don't like the fact that you can't see what we're doing if we're not in the office. Joke's on you, we're still checking devRant and stuff as soon as you're away.
-
I'm super pissed off... I recently got this job, I've been here for three months but in the current project for a month and a half... in this time I learned Laravel and the project is no big deal, I'm more than happy to learn but I'm working with a "Senior" programmer who "has a lot of experience" and "knows a lot" and "very friendly"... the thing is that we use Jira and BitBucket to assign work and control versions, however, the motherfucker doesn't do a shit and when I ask him about something, he totally ignores me... I checked on the latest merges and tickets and I've done like 50 within this month and a half and he has done like 15... He also made me do a big ass thing with a PDF and at the end he completely destroyed it and just used a table with no styles that looks like shit. He took 40 minutes to tell me something he already knew about the models because "I'm sorry, I got distracted"... What should I do?2
-
As a mobile developer I get fucking pissed off when I get a ticket on Jira saying: Response code 500
The server fucked up why am I the one to be reached for? Especially that code is displayed when no response body is returned -
Virgin media have again told us everything will be sorted in a few hours, with moving the connection.
For their sake they better be right this time as hell hath no fury like a nerd scorn. -
Has anyone here considered going off grid? Im dreaming of buying a plot somewhere in Chile and building an off grid home. Im a remote worker and plan to remain being one.
(Off grid meaning generating your own electricity, 'harvesting' rain water and growing some greens)
Im asking to get advice and opinions2 -
Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
My stress ball has been stolen!
I came in to work to an email alerting me to a bug in production. I copied the site to staging to work on the issue but I was unable to replicate bug. My rubber duck wasn't helping so I went to go bounce my ball off the wall when I realized I don't have a stress ball anymore.
I spent 7 hours working on the bug without a stress ball before finally fixing it. And now I'm ready to deal with the theft the old-fashioned way.3 -
Well, it happened, my school managed to block SSH
It also means no more git, and if this shit isn't fixed I might be forced to use TFS
Whoop de doo
11 -
Who invented WhatsApp in the first place anyway?
Cuz I do not know when is the right time to "off work" since I start working.
People start ranting about my blue ticks if I don't reply after working hours.5 -
POP mail, I just prefer it over IMAP, but I am probably the only one, and my reasons are questionable. But I care not.4
-
I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"
DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER
To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"
People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension2 -
age++
unfortunately we have a new CTO and handful of senior level resources joining our company this week, and I've risen to too lofty a position to be able to take the day off.
but they are sorely mistaken if they expect me not to fuck off to at least some degree. I also managed to obtain a PS5 last week so my attention this week never stood a chance. the most they'll get is a couple hours worth of on-boarding meetings outta me. -
I had a config option where some shit would either be dimmed down or switched off. I called them "fade-out" and "hard-off" in UI and documentation.
Luckily, it dawned on me in time that I'd better rename the latter option to "cut-off".2 -
Almost got caught taking taking a nap haha
Lately I've been taking it easy since the work I've been doing has been super easy and boring.
So I was just lying in bed watching some youtube video.
When it ended I decided it might be a good time to check my laptop and see if there was a message.
Sure enough, I WAS FIVE MINUTES LATE TO A MEETING!
When I joined, there was only one person. It was a bit hard to tell if he just didn't quit the meeting since I was expecting another person on the call haha.
Then I checked the invite list. Oh, he declined.
Oh shit. My manager was supposed to be on the call too.
Upon further inspection. He said he was 15 minutes late.
So he didn't catch me slacking off haha.
Otherwise I'd for sure miss the "you coming?" message since I turned off slack notifications on my phone and he'd think I take off an hour on fridays regularly.
Not easy to slack off, haha5 -
Today is my last coursework submission. I've touched on a lot of topics I never thought I would be able to do/even thought about. I like data science, but I just don't feel so passionate about it now. I just want to ditch coursework and do cool shit, but I never find the time.
Anyone else get somewhat "fed up" of what they've studied? How did you get through it? Just do the "cool shit"?3 -
There are 43 people in our team. Every 43 of them come to salute me in the morning, fuck off, let me work. Just go ahead with your shit but leave me alone.3
-
If you start sweeping a fly off the monitor with the mouse cursor, it's time to turn off the computer. 😵💫
-
"LG G7 leak shows off a familiar looking notch"
Hmmm..... (scratches head)
(https://slashgear.com/lg-g7-leak-sh...)
7 -
Emailed to a group seeking for help on a certain web app function.
Specifically mentioned that I tried turning my system off and on but didn't work.
(To ensure no one suggests me this)
Got a reply, did you click the restart button in the web app UI.
I closed the browser and opened again, and the fucking issue was resolved by the restart button on the UI.2 -
I fucking hate Richard Hendricks. That long nose jack off is not qualified to lead a retarded child to the loo let alone heading a company!2
-
Unrelated to programming:
If I'm doing async karaoke (i.e., I'm using an app like Smule where one person records one part and you join or vice versa) and the other person decides to randomly COME INTO MY LANE and not just sing my part, but sing it off-key, I get irrationally annoyed about it. It's great if they do that at the beginning of the song because then you can just bail. But when they do it at like the very end, I'm like ... 😬 -
Porca puttanata, non funziona un cazzo.
Fuck this api is so strange sometimes.
Ich hab die Schnauze voll, aber die Scheiße will nicht rendern wie ich es will. -
My professor said that he cold booted the pc.
It took me around a minute to realise that he meant he turned off and switched it back on.1 -
Had to take all my annual leave this month because I didn’t take any during the year.
Im fucking bored. I wanna go to the office..
Don’t know what to do with my time. I stopped doing personal projects a while back because I never stick with one idea for long enough to finish it..
My job gives me a purpose..6 -
Dude i asked you to review my pull request because i thought we were cool. The code change is about a simple rename, SO FUCK OFF WITH THE REFACTOR SUGGESTIONS. STOP DOING THAT TO MY CODE REVIEWS
2 -
do you know the feeling, when it is friday and it is like nice hot weather 26°c. you kinda wished you could just zit outside and enjoy the view days of the summer that are not to hot or to cold (location: the netherlands).
this made me slack off today. only did my sprint planning for next monday and wrote some unit test and some software modification documents.2 -
Getting pissed off and getting pissed on are two extremely different things, but if you get pissed on that would make you pissed off.4
-
That day 19th January 1996 . I pooped my ass off whle seeing the world for the first time and continueing to do so everytime i woke up.13
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I'm on a project that has been off the rails for a few weeks. We're no longer working off tickets/the scrum board. Clients are asking for production servers yesterday.
Things are behind. Some people are working nights and weekends. I'm one of the people who are vary vocal about not working over time and I haven't worked a single night or weekend yet (we're salary exempt too; no extra pay).
I even bought up in a meeting how I was not happy about people being guilt tripped for not working over (our PO messaged me out of band a few weeks back telling me my teammates would appreciate me putting in more effort).
I agreed to work this Sunday and already regret it, even though they said there'd be compensation (without mentioning what that compensation is). I was also told everyone is doing it and that's not true either.
In my 18 years in IT, I've worked at ~ 13 companies. This one is in the bottom 3 for sure.2 -
That feeling when you come from other languages(like scala, c# or js) and you try to do a aggregation on a list in Java 8.. .
😤😭😩😰😱😵😧😖😲😕3 -
For a moment, hold your php-hate in..
..FOR FUCKS SAKE they turned off warnings and errors on the server for customer applications. What the fuck. I mirrored one of those to fiddle around at home to find all generated files stuffed with "warning: we have no idea what we are doing at every line".
FML.
And yeah, the solution for my end is kind of simple, turn them off, too, but how about coding it the right way?:I -
When co-workers act like you have no work to do. So they try to give you more stuff.
Fuck. This. Shit.1 -
Dude. I asked my question like 6 months ago. I got an upvote and two answers. I accepted the one which helped me the most and upvoted it myself.
How about you fuck off with your edit suggestions on a buried subject? -
When you roll out a new system is disaster recovery testing on your roadmap? For example, do you do failover and have users work through a comprehensive test script and have them sign off before going into production?1
-
What do you do when you wake up feeling that you don't want to work today, and you don't have any clear reason for that, you force yourself to go or you take day off, and why?1
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"we don't care about the statement of work or that you've fulfilled it. We want <insert massive list if unrelated and unrealistic requirements here>."
Yeah, we'll eat a bullet you ham-fisted, knob gobbling buffons. -
I'm off any caffeine since eastern 2019.
Funny tho, I work as efficient as always + get a natural amount/intensity of sleep :)1 -
I have a Lenovo IdeaPad 330s and it shows the battery percentage remaining when we press any key on the keyboard while the laptop is switched off. This is a really handy feature. Does anyone know how it is implemented or how could it be implemented (on other laptops) ?
Don't just ++, favorite this post, pin it (so, you can comment on it if you find the way later) and please, mention it in the comments if you know it.4 -
The fact that I have to leave for work in 5 mins on a Saturday just because we had Thursday off for reasons irritates me more than it should. As if 5 days a week isn't suffering enough...1
-
Windows 10 , I just want a flipping built in command line executable to log off another (local) user. I'm not a server, I don't have active directory, I don't want to switch to log in as that user first, i want to just kill their inactive local session because cisco freaking vpn doesn't allow you to connect when a other user is logged in. I can kill the session from admin task manager, I just want to be in the commandline. If your gonna let software check the number of logged in users, let the freaking administration modify the number of logged in users with a cli.
Idk if I could turn it off an on again. On a server I would just issue "query sessions" or "query users" followed by "logoff ##". Why not let me do the same damn thing on my home computer sk I don't have to restart MY SESSION just to close MY WIFE'S session. You stupid fraking company that cannot provide consistent command line programs across various systems. SCREW YOU MICROSOFT AND YOUR UTTER ASANINE DECISION MAKING REGARDING WHAT FEATURES TO INCLUDE IN WHAT BUILDS.2 -
Powering off my Thinkpad so I can wipe the greasy SHEEN off of the keyboard / trackpad..
Wash hands, repeat.2 -
I generally do not like google for many reasons, but if they added this feature to android "disable app notifications by default", I would love and kiss them to death.
Notifications these days are just about the most abhorrent feature of smart phones. I have never owned an iPhone so cannot say anything about that, but on Android its just bad. The system itself is good, but its being misused by developers. Today I checked out this app called "CPU Cooler", its one of those apps that tricks people into believing they should close apps in order to save battery life. Anyways, I opened it, I "cleaned my phone" and closed it. About an hour later I got this notification "heeey, you haven't cleaned your phone in a while".
Fuck off, uninstalled.
If it ever becomes socially acceptable, I would buy a Nokia brickphone in a heartbeat. My cousin said we would be much better off without smartphones and he is (possibly) absolutely right.9 -
So just got off the train to transfer to goto work...
Wait no I'm actually going home, I'm off this week! Just happens that I need to get off at the same stop...
Moment of realization felt sorta weird... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -
There should be a ***rant for every aspect of life, such as socrant (rants on society and politics), famrant (rants on how much family life (or to all singles out there, the lack of a family) sucks (or rocks) sometimes) and conrant (rants on all sorts of consumer products/services). Not to forget, the most important of all, trarant (traffic rant, about the rich diversity of stupidity among both drivers and pedestrians).1
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!rant
What you guys do on Sundays? Saturdays I pay the bills, run some errands and study.
Sundays I wish I has something to apply muy mind to, other than code.
Any recomendations?9 -
so , anymore starting off "developers" like me here ? Coded an android app and not much else important , anyone else just starting off to learn stuff here ?
-
!rant Java web framework?
sorry for the OT, if you are single (novice) web developer and you had to choose your first web java framework, what would you pick?7 -
I need to monitor the off heap memory of a spark on yarn application (executors, mostly) running in Java. Any tool/method that someone could suggest?
-
Working for a little SharePoint-Company while studying.
Have to hunt bugs.
Found a major bug which kills one of our customers SharePoint-Site completely because of code pasta.
Told my supervisor about the bug and reported it.
"yeh. we will fix it now"
2h later they started to go live.
"Did you fix the bug?"
"No. Wanted to have the system live asap."
On my way home I got a call.
"We need you back here in the office"
"Why?"
"It crashed. Is not reachable anymore. Help fixing it"
fuck off
-
FFS if you're Ajaxing some shit onto your crappy webpage, show that it's loading.
Even just "Loading..." is better than making me click on a random piece of shit on the page because the thing I wanted to click jumped down the screen a nano-second before I clicked it because you Ajaxed some cookie warning/advert above it.
The Internet is becoming unusable.1 -
Actually there are some things:
- Knowing when to stop or switch off from work;
- Too many video calls and meetings;
- No lunch time with team mates;
And many more that I'm sure that I'm forgetting 😅 -
So I have to record a video on why I should be a brand ambassador. I've researched the company, and know I should be confident and show I'm social, but any suggestions on how you think I should be unique so I stand out?
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Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
So for the current project, they want to start testing the application from Monday next week and the development part section still has a few bugs that need to be handled. But that isn't the worst part. The worst part I just heard is that the designs themselves haven't even been signed off. How the fuck did we get to the point where the designs haven't been signed off where the development has been going underway for the past 2.5 months? I swear I'm working with the fucking worst project manager!
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My coding style is mostly influenced by good old personal preference, but also because of a certain internship where there was a lot of gain to be had by making everything as reusable and testable as possible.
I guess you could say my motto is usability, readability and flexibility:
I like tidy, reusable code with an emphasis on keeping code readable. I've always liked modular things I guess...
And I despise two things: curly brackets on the next line and spaces for indentation... But way worse is having no brackets at all (looking at you Python): it's clearer to have lower-level code inside some sort of "container" markers i.e. brackets (also gives more IDE functionality like color-coding hierarchically).
Indentation should always be tabs so anyone can have their own width of indentation set through their IDE, making it way more accessible to fellow colleagues!
And I also like having parameterized code over hard-coded functions: way more flexible. -
How is it that a customer ends up "failing" some development work which was our (my) idea, presented to them as a proof-of-concept solution to a problem?
Mentioning some phantom specification and saying "it's not this and it's not that".
You'll get what you're given you fucking little retard piece of shit. Sorry I opened my fucking mouth, you can struggle in future you stupid, inconsiderate fucking hollow-brained bastard. Shove it up your arse and take your manager's dick out of your mouth. They think you're a fucking prick too, just like your parents. -
A day off work at the Microsoft conference, but is it such a day off? I still have to be on the phone
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What do I do on my day off? I write a Slack-Twilio integration so I can send text messages from my laptop. (Yeah, iMessage on the Macbook works too, but that's not the number I wanted to text from.)3
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