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My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:
Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!
YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!14 -
That moment when an SEO 'expert' asks if changing ip addresses will put his sites lower in Google.
I'm a fucking Linux engineer, how am I supposed to know that?!
Please live up to your fucking title "SEO *expert*" and don't ask some innocent Linux engineer about this shit 😡21 -
Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.
Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.2 -
"Turn it off and on again."
Great for Wi-Fi routers and office appliances.
Life support, not so much.10 -
*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*
*installs Open Camera*
Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!
Yeah fuck right off.27 -
My office for the past month. That's a battery powered by a solar panel, which powers my satellite internet and laptop
19 -
Started talking with someone about general IT stuff. At some point we came to the subject of SSL certificates and he mentioned that 'that stuff is expensive' and so on.
Kindly told him about Let's Encrypt and also that it's free and he reacted: "Then I'd rather have no SSL, free certificates make you look like you're a cheap ass".
So I told him the principle of login/registration thingies and said that they really need SSL, whether it's free or not.
"Nahhh, then I'd still rather don't use SSL, it just looks so cheap when you're using a free certificate".
Hey you know what, what about you write that sentence on a whole fucking pack of paper, dip it into some sambal, maybe add some firecrackers and shove it up your ass? Hopefully that will bring some sense into your very empty head.
Not putting a secure connection on a website, (at all) especially when it has a FUCKING LOGIN/REGISTRATION FUNCTION (!?!?!?!!?!) is simply not fucking done in the year of TWO THOUSAND FUCKING SEVENTEEN.
'Ohh but the NSA etc won't do anything with that data'.
Has it, for one tiny motherfucking second, come to mind that there's also a thing called hackers? Malicious hackers? If your users are on hacked networks, it's easy as fuck to steal their credentials, inject shit and even deliver fucking EXPLOIT KITS.
Oh and you bet your ass the NSA will save that data, they have a whole motherfucking database of passwords they can search through with XKeyScore (snowden leaks).
Motherfucker.68 -
A client called today because their email wasn't arriving at the receipants inbox but bouncing back with a 'poor MTA rating' error.
Checked about every blacklist I know and our server was definitely not blacklisted. Must be the receipants host which for some reason was blacklisting his specific email address.
Told the client that it wasn't a problem on our side and that he had to request a whitelist himself (we'd do it but it wasn't a specific server problem so we're not going to spend time on that).
Fair enough, he'd do that.
Calls back. "Well, the other party says that your server definitely has a poor rating, it's on your side!!"
Alright, this is getting annoying. Gave him a few blacklist checking sites links and told him to run his domain AND our server IP through it. Indeed came back completely clean.
"But the other party said it's poor rating on your side so I'd think tha........"
YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE THAT OTHER PARTY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. I'VE SHOWN YOU PROOF THAT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON OUR FUCKING SIDE, EXPLAINED IT TO YOU AND SO ON. MAYBE, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE OTHER PARTY IS FUCKING LYING?!?!?
FUCK OFF.9 -
You know what? I'm fucking done with people telling me that open source alternatives to popular/proprietary suck by default.
Something does NOT suck by default just because it's FUCKING open source.
Have you got any fucking clue where we'd be right now if open source software didn't exist?!
Let me just remind you that about 80 percent of the worlds' servers run Linux. Open-FUCKING-source.
How the fuck are we supposed to innovate without open sourceness? Yes indeed, that would be about fucking impossible.
Although I've got to admit that some open source software programs don't work 100 well (in comparison to alternatives), what are you expecting? People put their free time into that shit and they've got to make money as well.
"well how are programmers supposed to feed their families if they only write open source software?"
Fuck right off. Of course we all need an income to survive. Hell, I need that as fucking well. But there's more to it than just work. Some people consider open source/working on open source software a hobby/passion. That doesn't even remotely mean thaty they don't work/don't need some kind of income.
If it wasn't for open source, we'd be nowhere (technologially seeing) right now.37 -
If you come to me, and ask for my opinion about something, then you throw “You’re wrong” at my face. Then why the fuck did you ask me in the first place? Fucking cunt21
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Been lurking here for a while. Finally pissed off enough to post.
Been programming in Ada for nearly a decade now. One of the few younger devs who knows the language well. Have a large collection of libraries and tools written in it, open source. Done contract work. Looking to get out of my current line of work, which is medicine, because fuck this recent legal climate. I'm spending all my time dealing with legal compliance and it rapidly changing.
I see a job posting from a company looking for a programmer to mostly write testing stuff for clients. They mostly work with Ada. I've written a whole unit testing and integration testing framework. Perfect. Apply. "You don't have the required skills." Oh... K then.
Wanna guess what I was just offered as contract work. Same company. I guess i'm fucking qualified if you asswipes sought me out to ask me to fix your fucking bullshit.
What the hell is wrong with management and HR in recent years?9 -
The Irish minister Rudd said today (for the second time I think) that 'WhatsApp gives terrorists a safe place to hide and execute their activities. Might be a good idea in the future to ban encrypted chat apps'. (not literally like that but it's a good summary of her points)
Imaginary dialog:
"okay so encrypted chat apps help terrorists and criminals to execute their activities"
"Alright, let's ban water then!"
"Wait what why would you ban water?!? How will ordinary people be able to drink then?"
"Why would you ban encrypted chat apps? How will ordinary people be able to communicate securely?"
😐
😶
😮
😧
😓24 -
I've had this twice in a very short period of time now and it really pisses me the fuck off.
Sitting in the train (I think the grammatically correct version is on the train but no that would be a little too dangerous for me I think), on my phone devRanting/Signalling/Rioting around when an an elderly person says (aiming towards me):
"Oh, youngsters and their technology, where has socializing gone? Why are you people always on your phones? Go socialize sometimes!"
Excuse me but fuck right off.
Because you know what, I am currently socializing.
Just not in the way you are used to or maybe even 'okay with'.
I'm talking with friends from all around the world (Signal + Riot), participating in interesting discussions (on here) and what not.
I do have very strict rules for myself though. When in company with people I am actually going to socialize with or when hanging out with friends, the phone goes the fuck away unless I NEED to be reachable.
But I'm on a fucking train with people I don't know and frankly I'm done with socializing for the day as I've had to hear (often stupid) people asking for help all day long.
Next to that, I don't know you, you don't know me, who am I to judge you? I'm not going to socialize with anyone here anyways and even if they'd like to, I'm fucking done with people for to-fucking-day.
Sincerely fuck off please.11 -
I HATE when I type :) and it comes out 😀, y'all need to KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. If I say :/ I mean :/ not 🤔 or 😒or whatever emotion you're forcing me into.
Also ++ to devRant for getting this RIGHT! To them I say 😀😁😃😄9 -
To my ex manager
you left to berlin, and left me to rot
my new lead sucks, i kid you not
it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill
But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill
I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?
was doing so for years, now i lost what i had
I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call
so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall
its like 10 to 6 is now constant work
I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk17 -
When you work too late and can't mentally switch off so you just start the next day without any sleep
5 -
Fucking wix advertisements! Getting real tired of the "want a website? Why not make it yourself?" ads. You're already logging all my fucking google searches to display relevant ad info so maybe wrap your head around the fact that I'm a web dev and make my own fucking sites??6
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I have a colleague who has a fear of closing any window. He'll let his Mac run for months on end without closing any of the windows he's opened. He also has all kinds of browsers with tons of tabs open. He's a designer so I get his urge to not do all the technical bits and bobs every day, but for the love of zalgo restart your computer once in a while. Or at least close windows you don't use. It's come to a point where non of us want to help him, because helping him out takes forever with his slow as shit computer. We've asked/told/joked about it too him several times, but he just doesn't want to listen. At one point when I was helping him everything took so long that I decided to reboot for him. And of course Mac had to go and reopen every window that was open during shutdown, which took another good fifteen minutes. Shite OS. And naturally he spent the next hour fixing everything the way he liked it. He hasn't turned off his computer since (couple of months ago), except for when we moved to a new building a month ago.
Just had to get that annoyance of my chest.8 -
People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.
Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.
*presents actual proof*
Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!
This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.
😡10 -
The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.
IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.17 -
Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.
When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.
Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.29 -
"JavaScript was built in a weekend"
Yeah it was ... But not the version we have today ... Twats saying well I'm sure you can build this app in a few hours 🙄4 -
https://fuckoff.services.
Wrote it because fuck it why not. Was sick at home and wanted to build something :)
Feedback would be great!
About the short character limit, I might up it a little but this thing is about writing short messages and not stories so that's a choice on purpose.45 -
Don't develop depression, develop a personality instead, be more outgoing and outspoken, work out, dress better and make your life shit that goes beyond coding.
Tired of people in tech being this way. Everyone acts as if monkeying away on the keyboard makes them some sort of autistic genius that is too good for everyone else.
Some of you have the social skillset of a fucking potato.
You code dude. Most of you develop websites...chill the fuck out.52 -
Headphones ON ears means DON'T disturb unless it's important.
Talking about the chance of rain is not f*ing important. Especially when it's the 10th effin time I'm interrupted by nonsense officetalk in one hour!6 -
I frckin HATE people who say 'Ah, you can program now? So can you make a game for me? I even have some ideas!, bla bla blurb...'
It makes me wanna hurt them. And the really, really sad thing about it is: nearly no one understands why.4 -
Recruiter called me again after months because he had an interesting position for me.
Something with 'it consulting' since I was 'into it' 'according to my linkedin'.
Fuck of and die.7 -
I'm starting to think customers know when I'm busy and take that moment to break their products.
I JUST WANT TO LET MY LEG SOAK IN EPSOM WATER... your users are going to bed soon, it's a freaking Saturday, and you need to go get laid because you have too much time on your hands. I'm in pain and cannot help you restore service if you don't stay on the line. So please... don't. Fucking. Call me. Unless you're going to stay on the line to test. You're pushing my limits, and if my voice gets any quieter, it means I'm about to find your porn accounts and register you as an amateur, uploading cows fucking to get you banned from all the services. Congratulations sir, you've pissed me off so bad, I'm using my "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" voice I learned from my mother. I hope you're happy. I'm so mad I'm not even swearing anymore. I always swear.
Edit: if my voice ever sounds sweet and demure over the phone, someone is about to get fucked with a red hot fireplace poker. This fucker getting close.1 -
And here I am creeped the fuck out by Google (as always) suggesting me to take photos of the bakery I'm at while having location and WiFi turned off :)18
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That moment when your password is constantly rejected and you realize that the fucking NUM LOCK IS OFF.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ 💻6 -
Fuck Off As A Service(FOAAS) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off.
http://foaas.com/
Finally , a usefuckingful service.2 -
I could be wrong, but I believe all devs love a clear section saying
"Getting Started" to any form of documentation5 -
"hi, we have some dns records we'd like to change, they're in the attachment. Could you send a message when it's done? Thanks in advance!"
No, fuck off. Fucking cunts.15 -
"doEs AnYOnE HAVE IssUeS wiTh gETTing gIrl beCoz CodIng"
lmao what a fucking dweeb. What a loser really. How about we don't make a fucking job something akin to a personality trait?
were I single, would I sell myself as a "cODER" to a girl? fuck no, do some of you nerds really introduce yourself in such way? is this bs ass job your end all be all? aye, this be the easiest way to poise yourself in the complete opposite direction of the female sexual organ.
Fucking quit that shit, ain't no one really gasping for air because you can lay down some fucking js in a website, who gives a fuck? like really? these posts are so fucking annoying.
Grow a pair, and some personality.
Background: some dweeb complaining to me about finding it hard to get girls because of his "passion" station women would lose interest because all he would talk about is dev shit113 -
Got laid off on Friday because of a workforce reduction. When I was in the office with my boss, someone went into my cubicle and confiscated my laptop. My badge was immediately revoked as was my access to network resources such as email and file storage. I then had to pack up my cubicle, which filled up the entire bed of my pickup truck, with a chaperone from Human Resources looking suspiciously over my shoulder the whole time. They promised to get me a thumb drive of my personal data. This all happens before the Holidays are over. I feel like I was speed-raped by the Flash and am only just now starting to feel less sick to the stomach. I wanted to stay with this company for the long haul, but I guess in the software engineering world, there is no such thing as job security and things are constantly shifting. Anyone have stories/tips to make me feel better? Perhaps how you have gotten through it? 😔😑😐14
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A recruiter asks for my LinkedIn credentials to save me from the hassle of updating my profile.
Is this the new 'send me your cv in .doc format so I can write whatever I want in there'?
I'm not even looking for a job and I don't know who you are! Fuck off!3 -
Finally Going to Resign !!
I worked only for a month in current company but it feels everyday I am dealing with dementors.9 -
Just the other day I got back from getting an extra monitor.. and just when I came back home, some older lady that also lives in this residence came to me, all panicked because her left car lights wouldn't turn off. So she asked me whether I could fix it, because I'm a man and therefore technical... Yeah.
Told her I don't know anything about cars (I don't even have a driver's license), and she should ask someone else.. but she kept clinging on to me and eventually I figured.. screw it, how hard can it be?
Got to her car, yada yada yada.. lady opens the door, and it's full of fucking buttons everywhere! No fucking way that I'm gonna dabble with those. So, do the easiest thing first.
"Ma'm, could you please turn on the car?"
*Turns car on, all lights light up*
🤔 Fair enough...
"Hmm.. and what happens if you turn it off now?"
*Turns car off, all lights go off*
Lady: "I've got no idea how you've done it but thank you so much, you're an angel!! 😊"
Me: "Well.. 😅 let's just say that turning it on, off and back on again works at least 90% of the time..."13 -
For those of you retards that post shit like:
"fuck"
"well I hate this"
or similar shit that only you understand in the hopes that someone goes and asks you what is wrong: fuck off with that attention seeking bullshit.
Seriously, even it your shit is tech dev related, just fucking post it you attention seeking shitstain.
Or fuck off all together from the app to begin with.17 -
How to politely tell your client that their request for the new 'little' feature is unrealistic and fucking absurd?14
-
I got laid off from my previous position as a Software Engineer at the end of June, and since then it was a struggle to find a new position. I have a good resume, about 4 years of professional dev experience and 5 years of experience in the tech industry all together, and great references.
As soon as I got laid off, I talked to my old manager at my previous company, and he said that he'd love to hire me back, but he just filled his last open spot.
In order to prepare, I had my resume reviewed by a specialist at the Department of Labor, and she said that it was one of the better resumes that she had seen.
There aren't a huge amount of dev jobs in my area, and I got a TON of recruiter emails. But they were all in other states, and I wasn't interested in moving.
I applied to all the remote and local positions I could find (the ones that I was qualified for,) and I just got a bunch of silence and denials from all my applications. I had a few interviews that went great, but of course, those companies decided to put the position on hold so they could use the budget for other things.
The silence and denials were really disconcerting, and make you think that something might be wrong with you or your interviewing abilities.
And then suddenly, as if the floodgates had opened, I started getting a ton of callbacks and interviews for both local and remote opportunities. I don't know if the end-of-year budget surpluses opened up more positions, but I was getting a lot of interest and it felt amazing.
Another dev position opened up at my previous company, and I got a great recommendation for that from my former manager and co-workers. I got a bunch of other interviews, and was moved onto the next rounds in most of them.
And finally, I got reached out to regarding a remote position I applied for a while ago, and the company was great about making the interview process quick and efficient. Within 2 weeks, I went from the screening call, to the tech call, and to the final call with the CTO. The CTO and I just hung out and talked about cars/boats/motorcycles for half the interview, and he was an awesome guy. AND THEN I GOT AN OFFER THE NEXT DAY!
The offer was originally for about the same amount as I made at my previous job, but I counteroffered up a good amount and they accepted my counteroffer!
It's a great company with offices all over the world, and they offer the option to travel to all those offices for visits if you want. So if you're working on a project with the France team and you think that it'd be easier to just work with them face-to-face, then the company will pay to fly you out to Paris for the week. Or you can work completely remotely. They don't mind either way.
I'm super excited to work with them and it feels great to be back in the job world.
Sorry about the long post, but I just wanted to tell my story and help encourage anybody out there who's going through the same thing right now.
Don't get discouraged, because you WILL find an awesome opportunity that's right for you. Get somebody to go over your resume and give you improvement recommendations. Brush up on your interviewing skills. Be sure to talk about all the projects you've worked on and how they positively impacted people and/or companies.
This is what I found interviewers responded the best to: Be sure to emphasize that you love learning new things and that you love passing along that knowledge to other people, and that your goal is to be an approachable and reliable source of knowledge for the company and to be as helpful as possible. It's important to be in a position that encourages both knowledge growth and knowledge sharing, and I think that companies really appreciate that mindset in a team member.
Moral of the story: YOU GOT THIS!16 -
Turning off your pc by holding down the power button is like putting yourself to sleep every night by shooting yourself in the face with a tranquilizer gun7
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I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.
Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.
Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.
Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡
Fucking hell.16 -
Him: You can code, right?
Me: Of course,why
Him: I want to start promoting my (very crappy) music, I need you to –
Me: No!
Him: But, I just –
Me: I already said No.Never gonna happen.
Him: I get it.You really can't code,you just pretend to.A simple website can't be that hard for you if you knew.
Me:(Pushing him out) Nice try.11 -
Many times I struggled to find the right words to ask people to fuck off. Now I remind them of social distancing.4
-
*suddenly wakes up thinking I'm late for work*
*Realises it's a holiday*
*Goes back to sleep again*
PS: Sadly this happens every other day of week :/2 -
It's been a year , I have been contributing to open source and using GitHub.......
There were some people who criticized me for doing open source, saying there's no future in that and u will end up doing nothing.
(But I never listened to them and ignored there words)
Few days back the same person asks me how to start contributing to open source and help him learn git.
U know what I did then??
I ignored again.2 -
“ThAnK YeW 4 KallIng MicraroSoFt TekNicAll SuppUrt, mY nAmE iS JaKe. YoUR KomputeR HaS VirUs ThaT NeEds ReMoVal.”
Go float yourself you sack of shit, your mother should have swallowed.7 -
Me : Today we have to demonstrate our progress to client. So remove all the dead code from the project which we had written for debugging.
** Removes all the comments2 -
After doing the work he requested as he wanted he was not happy. So i thought we sit and discuss what he didn't like. I was so wrong.
...
Boss: "...you know what I think you are: a fraud; Masquerading as a developer. The database design you have given is shit. The template I gave you I did in 1 hour. You took half the day."
He gave a simple template to use and he told me to come up with an ecommerce db design via downloading PrestaShop and seeing what is relevant to us.
Me: "what did I do wrong?"
Boss: "you think I don't know what PK means in database design? Why the fuck did you put this here."
Me: "can I expl..."
Boss: "I'm not finished, you been here half the month and what work have you to show for it..."
Me: "I have..."
Boss: "You shut up when I can speaking"
Me: "ok"
Boss: "You have no work to show for the time you have been here. I tell you what to do. I want someone who is proactive. My friend, you will do the work I tell you to do, you understand?"
Me: "yes but can I just say that I have been doing your work I have the contact the various developers as you..."
Boss: " You shut up when your boss is speaking. Can you do this work? (Slightly long pause)
Me: "I can do it. But, I have done the bits of the work you said I do. I was h..."
Boss "don't give me bullshit stories...you haven't done the work..."
Me: "But you have spoken"
Boss:" You know what Im giving you 1 weeks notice if you are not able to do the work. Can you do it?"
That moment!!! I was literally shaking I could have high fived his face with his laptop.
Me: "yes I can"
Boss: "Then get the fuck out of my sight and do it"8 -
We all work on the same room: Devs and testers.
In order to communicate with each other without taking off our earphones, we use the chat app.
Ok, sometimes the chat app has delay sending messages.
I really, really hate when one of the testers comes to my desk without telling me he's coming to my desk! >:v and this is the reason why I hate it so much: I'm concentrate in my code, listening to ASP or SPA and, suddenly, I feel a heavy presence behind my monitors. I look up and I see a very penetrating gaze from the corpulent tester looking at me (he's tall). Every time he does that I almost have a heart attack D:
"There's a bug I want you to check" he says.
And I check my chat app if there's a delayed message from him. Nothing, NOTHING >:v
Always, when I want to go to his desk, I send him a message
"Is it ok if I go to your desk?" and he says me "You don't have to ask for it, just come here" but the thing is that I do that because I expect him to do the same :/
Fortunately this doesn't happen every day, but it pisses me off, and I don't know how to tell him to stop doing that because I don't want to be like a... jerk? intolerant? I don't know
18 -
"If you use a css framework splat splat splat splat bullshit bullshit bullshit"
Listen fam, I write apps that a good portion of the time will be used internally by the company I represent or work for. They don't give 2 flying fucks if I write an entire webpack ecosystem for them to push out assets and 10k outher bs shit in to their frontend end. They just care that shit connects properly to their backend and it spits out the information they need, which 9 times out of 10 does not require a lot of the shit y'all cry about.
Bootstrap will suffice, bulma will suffice. I don't neckbeard over simple shit like this.15 -
It must be exhausting for people in 2018 to always be on the hunt for something to be outraged or offended about.9
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it can be the most interesting article in the world, but if you ask me to confirm cookies, to enable notifications and to disable my adblock or subscribe to your aWeSoMe newsletter at the same time I'm not interested in spending any more time on your site
oh and also, FUCK YOU, return your degree, resign and FUCK OFF2 -
Dear Colleague who ended a call I overheard today with the sentence "I'm off next week, if there is anything - anything! -, call me on my mobile phone!". Fuck you. If you value your work more than your family, that's not only your problem. You're fucking my clients expectations, too. I don't think you're a hero. You're a moron.4
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This dude that i been helping on his project for free wants me to travel to his city(which is in a different country) to discuss the project and what's missing lmao hahahahahahahahahahahahaha yeah right.
Wondering how he managed to text with his head so far up his ass.
Fucking idiot.
Suuuure thing buddy, guess i will be paying for all my expenses as well using the money you have not given me? Fuck you think this is? If i agreed to help out it was to help one of your developers who so happen to be my boy and even he knows u is full of shit
Think this is my first rodeo? Bitch asked me to send him the project and i fucking denied it and he didn't like it. Said the code is his lmfao not ze fuck is not. No contract? Bitch your ass can come on over to Texas and demand it. Damn sure your dumbass is going to dislike demanding shit looking down the barrel of a .45
Fucking idiot2 -
flailing startup layed off my entire team without warning...
...and no one asked us how our custom tools work or how we performed our business-critical tasks. #goodLuck10 -
A dev team has been spending the past couple of weeks working on a 'generic rule engine' to validate a marketing process. The “Buy 5, get 10% off” kind of promotions.
The UI has all the great bits, drop-downs, various data lookups, etc etc..
What the dev is storing the database is the actual string representation FieldA=“Buy 5, get 10% off” that is “built” from the UI.
Might be OK, but now they want to apply that string to an actual order. Extract ‘5’, the word ‘Buy’ to apply to the purchase quantity rule, ‘10%’ and the word ‘off’ to subtract from the total.
Dev asked me:
Dev: “How can I use reflection to parse the string and determine what are integers, decimals, and percents?”
Me: “That sounds complicated. Why would you do that?”
Dev: “It’s only a string. Parsing it was easy. First we need to know how to extract numbers and be able to compare them.”
Me: “I’ve seen the data structures, wouldn’t it be easier to serialize the objects to JSON and store the string in the database? When you deserialize, you won’t have to parse or do any kind of reflection. You should try to keep the rule behavior as simple as possible. Developing your own tokenizer that relies on reflection and hoping the UI doesn’t change isn’t going to be reliable.”
Dev: “Tokens!...yea…tokens…that’s what we want. I’ll come up with a tokenizing algorithm that can utilize recursion and reflection to extract all the comparable data structures.”
Me: “Wow…uh…no, don’t do that. The UI already has to map the data, just make it easy on yourself and serialize that object. It’s like one line of code to serialize and deserialize.”
Dev: “I don’t know…sounds like magic. Using tokens seems like the more straightforward O-O approach. Thanks anyway.”
I probably getting too old to keep up with these kids, I have no idea what the frack he was talking about. Not sure if they are too smart or I’m too stupid/lazy. Either way, I keeping my name as far away from that project as possible.4 -
Introduction to graphics
Lecturer says "this is a very practical course. In fact I think we should have a practical exam"
All students agree. He would sort out that matter.
Meanwhile he taught us how to making shapes in java, then a house, then a game...
And the exam was for us to make a building where a user can walk through the building using the arrow keys...
What fun we had. We got out marks...and everybody did well!!!!1 -
Bought myself a Samsung s3 and while choosing what apps I want to receive notifications from, I noticed everything was off by one.
7 -
How does taking a day off turn into working from home, every single time?
Workaholics anonymous anyone?6 -
I fucking hate CORS. I mean yeah I get that it's for security and all but fucking COCKSUCKER is it ever fucking getting annoying dealing with this shit…5
-
What do you guys do on off time? More code? Gaming?
I mostly spend weekends with my girlfriend and away from code. Helps clear my head for the coming week.20 -
I fucking hate it when people don't turn off their phone screen when the put their phone down or in their pocket5
-
The inevitable has happened:
"please make yourself available during the weekend for any request/question." ...
*sigh*8 -
I bought hosting and domain last year, I uploaded my site and left it for months. Last month I logged onto my webhost's user panel and the "login to cpanel" option of my hosting directed me to someone else's premium hosting, I realised it late and I had already deleted whole of the WP site as I presumed it was mine. I left the database intact, reached out to the domain owner getting the info via whois, surprisingly he is was all fine losing his merchant navy academy website.
However, I WAS NOT FINE because I am not fucking expecting my webhost to give someone access to my hosting, just like I got access to his.
Been two weeks and they are unable to fix it and I am pissed off. I had no urgent need but I WANT ACCESS WHEN I WANT.
They are not as big as GoDaddy but they are a reputed hosting provider in my country with nice and fancy WP domain etc management portal and everything. I never expected this from then. How the fuck would they let this happen.5 -
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work
8 -
I find it annoying when non-tech savvy people criticize the Parler devs for using AWS because "it's Amazon they had it coming", I don't know the devs or company behind that website, I've never used it, but wtf man do you have any idea what's involved in building, deploying and maintaining a platform like that or any other similar? ffs you would barely be able to write an HTML blog by yourself and you dare judge devs for using AWS. fuck off.
I agree with the sentiment, it sucks, if my platform was removed from AWS I probably would keep it that way because I don't have the money to afford the hardware nor am I somewhere that's readily available and that's what is really sad it would suck that just because Amazon doesn't like you or you don't have the influence to fight it you and your userbase can go fuck off. Very bad precedent, it is discouraging.68 -
On a completely unrelated note......Love Death and Robots is on Netflix and shit is sooo good it ain't funny.
10/10 would recommend.8 -
!rant
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:
For AI, in particular Deep Learning developers, practitioners, hobbyists and otherwise people interested in the field.
If you go into the Pytorch website, click on resources and scroll down you will see a link to "Deep Learning with Pytorch" by Manning publications. This will give you access to the book, a book that if memory serves me well costs about 40+ in printing and the online book format is about 29 (again, if memory serves well)
The book is currently FREE and it does not ask you for an email address, you can just tell them why you want it for and they will give you the free pdf download.
I don't know how good the book is, but have found Manning to publish really good resources.
Do with this information what you want.
And yes, I am leaving the rant tag, so that more people can see this and take advantage of the opportunity in case of being interested and not having the money to purchase the book after the promotion is done and over with. Fuck you about tags and shit.10 -
Hours of refactoring just to get 0.5 seconds increase in performance per document generation.
Sounds small but makes a big difference when generating 100k documents.
Still not happy with it though...2 -
I'm going on vacation next week, and all I need to do before then is finish up my three tickets. Two of them are done save a code review comment that amounts to combining two migrations -- 30 seconds of work. The other amounts to some research, then including some new images and passing it off to QA.
I finish the migrations, and run the fast migration script -- should take 10 minutes. I come back half an hour later, and it's sitting there, frozen. Whatever; I'll kill it and start it again. Failure: database doesn't exist. whatever, `mysql` `create database misery;` rerun. Frozen. FINE. I'll do the proper, longer script. Recreate the db, run the script.... STILL GODDAMN FREEZING.
WHATEVER.
Research time.
I switch branches, follow the code, and look for any reference to the images, asset directory, anything. There are none. I analyze the data we're sending to the third party (Apple); no references there either, yet they appear on-device. I scour the code for references for hours; none except for one ref in google-specific code. I grep every file in the entire codebase for any reference (another half hour) and find only that one ref. I give up. It works, somehow, and the how doesn't matter. I can just replace the images and all should be well. If it isn't, it will be super obvious during QA.
So... I'll just bug product for the new images, add them, and push. No need to run specs if all that's changed is some assets. I ask the lead product goon, and .... Slack shits the bed. The outage lasts for two hours and change.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to run db migrations. shit keeps hanging.
Slack eventually comes back, and ... Mr. Product is long gone. fine, it's late, and I can't blame him for leaving for the night. I'll just do it tomorrow.
I make a drink. and another.
hard horchata is amazing. Sheelin white chocolate is amazing. Rum and Kahlua and milk is kind of amazing too. I'm on an alcoholic milk kick; sue me.
I randomly decide to switch branches and start the migration script again, because why not? I'm not doing anything else anyway. and while I'm at it, I randomly Slack again.
Hey, Product dude messaged me. He's totally confused as to what i want, and says "All I created was {exact thing i fucking asked for}". sfjaskfj. He asks for the current images so he can "noodle" on it and ofc realize that they're the same fucking things, and that all he needs to provide is the new "hero" banner. Just like I asked him for. whatever. I comply and send him the archive. he's offline for the night, and won't have the images "compiled" until tomorrow anyway. Back to drinking.
But before then, what about that migration I started? I check on it. it's fucking frozen. Because of course it fucking is.
I HAD FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FUCKING WORK TODAY, AND I WOULD BE DONE FOR NEARLY THREE FUCKING WEEKS.
UGH!6 -
Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)7 -
Windows you dense motherfucker! Now you come with two different fucking candy crush games and some fucking disney piece of shit botnet useless game consuming an entire GB of precious ssd space?? What the flying fuck i swear i hate this piece of junk more and more every day.
Furthermore, i got my motherboard replaced the other day since it suddenly died and now i cant boot into linux anymore since windows decided it's the only os to live on my laptop? Fuck off3 -
So just caught two colleagues playing quake arena. Once the boss has a day off...
Of course i will join them now! Happy friday everyone 😄 -
So during my internship I wanted to do a cool function to sanitize objects. At the time I spent about 3 days trying to do it, I just couldn't write it. I knew how to fix it, just didn't manage to write it. Today, one year and few months later I remembered about it and wrote it in less than one hour.
First time since I started developing that I realized I actually learned something and that my efforts payed off :)1 -
How to take off with a jet:
1. Have a 2013 MBP
2. Don't clean the coolers and exhausts for 5 years
3. Transpile an app and start a gradle build
4. Enjoy your machine taking off at around 100°C
FFS Apple, 100°C is not OK. Neither is having the fucking fans so loud I can hear them over my headphones. I should probably clean the laptop... Not sure I can open it up though. Company-issued machine.9 -
I had to make an account for my kid's school.
Last night I start. I put in a username, then it has a quality meter for the password. I put one in and it goes to like 90%. Ok, fine. I submit and...
Validation error on the username field. Message? [object Object].
Try all different kinds of username: no numbers, all caps, etc. But no luck so I give up.
Today I try again and get stuck again. Then I think... "Maybe the devs suck worse than I think..."
I change the password so that it's rated 100% and submit... Success.
Fucking devs.3 -
What the fuck
I just saw an ad for a RetroPi on Craiglist and they're trying to charge $300 for it 😂😂10 -
Source code works on my local machine, even when I present it to the relevant users; no body panics its all part of the plan. Place it on the server and it does not work AND EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MIND!1
-
What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!
8 -
Nothing pisses me off more, than when you've attended interviews and you never hear back 😡
It's just common curtersy!10 -
Currently balancing my full time job. A Rails bigass project and certain php contracts.
The rails one is unpaid, and I am doing it on my free time since my "payment" would be a portion of the company and a CTO position once it is done. I am building it with one of my best friends and he got the contract from this one dude he has who is loaded and will be selling this to the dptmnt of education of certain country.
The thing is, we all know how it works with those projects. The CEO had contracted this project to some people. He paid them handsomely and as is the case with certain situations the project was abandonded, the devs took the money and ran. So that is why he decided that instead of paying people like he should he would instead try and see if he could get someone interested. He told my friend to get himself an "American developer" since he was fed up with the devs of said country and that is how I am here now.
But the thing is, he is somewhat desperate to see something and even tho I show advancements on a weekly basis I hate the wordings of his group text messages:
"All right guys. I need to see some advancements, show me what you got now"
Motherfucker. You sit your ass and WAIT for me to want to show you something, but don't demand shit like if you are paying me. As far as I know my priorities lie in my current day job or the other people that ARE paying me.
>i need to see some advancements
Fuck off.6 -
So pleased I've got a week off work, I can just relax without even thinking about development. Ahh bliss.
*Opens Visual Studio ten minutes later*3 -
New ticket:
Ticket: "I just spoke with-"
Me: "LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE! IM NOT GONNALET YOU FINISH! IS THERE A PROBLEM? THEN HAVE THE PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH / SAW THE FUCKING THING HAPPEN CONTACT ME! ALMOST NEVER IN MY LIFE HAS A GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER DONE ANYTHING BUT FUCKING DRAGGED OUT THE PROBLEM! WIDGET DOESN'T WORK? THING DOESN'T DO A NON SPECIFIED THING? FUCK YOU FOR DROPPING ALL THE INFO I NEED AND SENDING A VAGUE EMAIL!!!"
-ticket set to not gonna do shit until someone who saw the thing gets off their ass and says what is actually happening-1 -
Was an aspiring 2nd grade student then, still a newbie in databases and stuff.
Managed to work with bossy motherfucker who didn't give a flying fuck about proper management, team culture, job roles and everything and treated people like shit.
The big boss wanted me to develop the ecommerce website that integrates with 1c (complete and utterly garbage buggy ass dbms with RUSSIAN SYNTAX, nuff said) and with its own crm to track every employee and even real time chat. He also wanted it to be a kind of online medical wikipedia. And he wanted me to take a professional photo of each and every fucking item for this website, somewhere around 5 thousand photos.
He offered me around 800 bucks for all that job. No, not monthly. He wanted me to do all that shit alone, for 800 bucks and expected it to be up and running in less than two months.
Gently told him to fuck off. Quit that job the same day.2 -
Looks like despite 20-30 years on the market all popular text / spreadsheet editors are still loading whole file to memory.
What the fucking wankers. WTF are they doing whole day besides changing menu layout and icon colors ?
Clearly development today is lead by bunch of idiots from marketing department accompanied with HR hiring social network self made models.
What a fucked up world.
Let’s add AI to our software but fails to open 150MB csv file.
Great job everyone. Great job.4 -
PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5 -
Deep Thought Rant
It's funny how the world works these days...companies only looking for "senior *something*" developers to work...
Mentorship and internship also do matter. What's happening?...sure you can contribute to open source but having a mentor also helps. Working as an intern allows one to see not only tech bit but workplace environment. How to deal with deadlines, feeling good and wasted at the same time when one bug that took a 3 minutes to fix but 3 hours to find, presenting your work; well what's working only, being bashed when it's your fault or not (even though that sucks), learning from your mentor and so on
Are their companies that still do this?3 -
Hey Guys Look.
It's that asshole who never paid me calling me about his brand new idea.
Should I pick it?9 -
When you've finished a project and the site goes live, you get a message from the client "looking good". To me that implies it's not finished, and I'm expecting a follow up message "can you just..."4
-
Being thrown in the deep end, baptism by fire is the best/worst way to learn a new codebase
Its not appropriate for everyone but it weirdly works -
Being a programmer is like being Nic Cage characters.
Some days you're kicking a bear in the gut, others you wanna rip your own face off1 -
Java teacher writes code on blackboard in comp lab
He tells us to try it out at our workstations.
We do. The code does work. We tell him.
He says: "There is something wrong with your compiler..."
Question is...we were around 30 students. Can all our compilers not work if we had used the lab before and the code we run worked clean??!?!?!?
We were flabbergasted2 -
Parents: You want anything for your birthday?
Me: yeah, can I have a newer PC
Parents: Cool
Me: Also, can I spend a majority of my time alone messing with it?
Parents: Sure
My parents were really laid back and basically let me do what I wanted1 -
So.. on addition to my rant yesterday
(https://devrant.com/rants/1019200/...)
I was working with two other people for a project and two of us have CAPD.
So we decided to go work in the hallway. We asked two of our teachers (we have 4 for this class) and they where fine with it.
Even if they said no, their opinion didn't matter because I have some paperwork from the school board that lets me go to a quiet place of my choosing to work.
So we get out into the hallway and start working.
But then... One of my other teachers (the one that thinks I am a hacker) comes out and starts yelling at us because apparently we are being disruptive to other classes. (We where being quiet)
I explained that we where being quiet then he changed his excuse to:
I don't want other people thinking that it is ok to go out to the hallway to "work"
I am like "Bitch, it isn't my fucking fault that your students don't follow rules" (I didn't actually say that)
Some other stuff happened but I am getting tired of typing.....
Anyways.. why can't people fucking Respect that I have a hearing Disorder?? He yells at me and then just ignores my response.
Another problem:
I was sitting in the hallway with my friend (aka.. girlfriend) and we where holding hands. Then he gets mad at us for touching each other!! I understand that if someone touches someone else, they get sent to the office because it can count as abuse... But I was just holding hands!!!
PS.
Sorry for the bad rant quality.. I am so done with everything right now..7 -
So.... a while ago my non tech friends asked me to help with their game... As all of the devs out there who wish to make a game or work in HW company I decided to say YES....
Basicly the game was a 2D infinite runner and when I looked at it it seemed like it was allmost ready, but it was not :D
The codebase was horrible.... Non of those two knew how to write scripts properly.... Half of the time I spent trying to teach both of them how to code properly and make the code readable for other coders..... After that most of the time went in troubleshooting 3rd-party plugins regarding google play services and fixing anoying performance issues.....
And last friday we launched it for Android https://goo.gl/MZpjf9
I'm really proud of my non tech friends because they withstood my complaining about the sourcecode and learned a lot of new thing these past months!!! It was a pleasure making this with them..... I know that the game is simple and it could have been done in much shorter time, but part of the expirience is fun and making things happen with your friends!!!1 -
Since we announced our product yesterday, the bots have started emailing our fuckin support system (which automatically ends up in our Jira Service Desk).
Pound salt you halfwit marketing fucks, you're cluttering our bug reports1 -
U guys know anyone who would ask "Can I turn off this power switch?" AFTER they already turned it off? My mother did that. On a PC that was in the middle of a large file upload over a ridiculously slow internet...2
-
no dear customer. checking a new feature on live while I sent you a link to our test server won't work. Again: devs aren't magicians.
NB: I usually enjoyed working with that customer a lot, but their mind really had a day off today.1 -
Saying I am an Android developer is another way of letting people ask 'can you build something like WhatsApp?'
Well there is world beyond that! Grow up people. Just tired of listening this. Fuck off.2 -
The amount of sass I give people from other departments at work that think that they can just walk all over my guys is something to write books about.
Someone already tried pulling some shit with me and the hod, so what did I do? I fuckd her app up and moved her dumbass down to the bottom of the queue, now she gets to do manual paperwork for here till I get tired of it. Again, that is what your dumbass gets for harrasing my guys ...1 -
I’m so fucking pissed off right now ... what the actual fuck!!! I worked so damn hard during this semester i got 70% for a presentation whilst some jack off who gets 100 fucking hundred percent doing it last minute by MY FUCKING HELP and also has the nerve to tell me to stay silent while he enjoys his Fucking undeserved HD (high distinction)
Well guess fucking what???? I’m not staying damn silent !!!! I’ll definitely be watching out for who I help in the near future, 😡 1AM i should be sound asleep but im legit so bloody pissed right now...I put my heart into my project stayed up late nights till 2 bloody fooking AM many times in a row, put my heart into my FREAKING presentation and i get stabbed in the back?!? Well thats how i feel right now.. i dont know how i will sleep tonight.. what PISSES ME OFF THE MOST IS HOW SOMEONE HAS THE NERVE TO TELL ME TO BE QUITE SO THEY ENJOY THEIR UNDERSERVED MARKS!!!
anyways guys and gals.. i had to get that off my chest. Thank you for taking the time to read my rant.. as always wishing you all the best.
Milo12 -
every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)
"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'
yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO
ARRRGGGH
fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker16 -
fuck off with the “do x in y lines of python code” it’s getting so goddamn annoying. yes python is concise. yes libraries do everything. you don’t need to show off someone else’s work with clickbait.
everything is like
“make a web server in 2 lines of python code”
import http.server
server = http.server.serve()
“mine bitcoin in 2 lines of python code”
import bitcoinminer
bitcoinminer.mine()
“do crazy math with 4 lines of python code”
import complex
import numpy
num1 = 1
num2 = 1
num3 = complex.addVectorMagnitudes(num1, num2)9 -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
Decided to work from home today to get some solid work done, and I now get a fucking guy with a leaf blower right outside our place!
😒😡1 -
You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
So I got sick of this "nodejs" bullshit around here and proposed a competition to define our next backend tech.
The node defender is already finding excuses as to why they might write bad code because of lack of knowledge , my answer:
If you don't know the tech we ain't gonna use it. -
I hate all these projects with cute cartoons, phrases and prompts, when you're debugging under pressure they're so fucking infuriating. Right now I want to destroy that dumb GitHub issues bot with a baseball bat.1
-
Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about
6 -
I fucking hate Facebook cocksuckers... They're the worst I tell you...
And did I mention Facebook pays NGOs to 'advertise' about Facebook as an advertisement platform... Fuckkkk
And I am fucking forced to sit down and clap for these ass kissers, even though I don't have Facebook...2 -
DevRant is so purely dedicated to ranting that if one has to talk about coding and development, he/she should tag it "off-topic".2
-
What pisses me off most: on-site team/client team not specifying a non reproducable issue properly in an email and expecting a quick fix for it ASAP, making me run in circles.3
-
"Can you look at this bug when inputting negative numbers?"
I check the app and think, "negative numbers don't make sense here".
Sure enough there is validation in place to prevent negative numbers being typed.
Yet they still managed...
By pasting in negative numbers, after being unable to type them, thinking "fuck it I'll paste it instead", then complaining to us because they abused our app.
Seriously.
Fuck.
Off.2 -
Windows rant incoming!
For fucks sake! I think Windows have asked me 117 times if I want to update now. The answer is still fucking no!
And I don't care how much of a security improvement it might be, when your shitty update causes a Memory Management error.
So fuck off, stop minimising my game while I play and go fix your shitty update first!
Fuck you Microsoft, fuck your QA team and while I'm at it, I want to say fuck you to all versions of Windows Server as well!7 -
Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!
Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)
Fuck this shit -_- -
I just got out of working 10 hour days and alternating Saturdays at work for the head honchos to say "Yeah, you guys have a month before you're all laid off. We're giving your job to the group that helped you during the busy season."
So guess what I get to do: job hunt!
Except no one in my area is hiring Linux System Administrators and my wife doesn't wanna move.1 -
Companies in my country think that since you are a developer, you must be also a product designer. You must know where to put the button, the table etc.
Especially back end developers.2 -
*adds border to the bottom of a fucking div*
Why, hello there Mr. FUCKTARD HORIZONTAL-FUCKING-SCROLLBAR. That totally makes God damn fucking shittard fuck'ala'fucking fuck-damn'le-shit-fucka-shittard sense.1 -
I've been a "firefighter" on our big money-making project for like a year now and probably will be for the next year. Every sprint, fully booked out.
However, this sprint, some people think I have time to brainstorm, learn new tech and attend meetings related to a completely new project.
"Will it done in 2 weeks?"
"How long do you estimate?"
I can knock up a rough version of your fucking application in about a week if someone grows some fucking balls and schedules me some fucking time for it. STFU and stop interrupting my other work. Allocate some time or shove it up your ass so far until you regurgitate it then swallow it again and choke on it. -
Recruiters that sent me (3 times) a straight plain job offer that begins with "before apply please check carefully if you satisfy all the requirements" so without even spent time to check if I'm the person they're looking for (I'm not) should get the fuck out of my inbox.
Are they fucking using a bot? They reached that level of uselessness?5 -
Sometimes I think at least 40% of showing productivity relates to how many applications on your screen are colored in Solarized Dark.5
-
Continuing my rant from Yesterday....
As I was strolling though Walmart yesterday...
Tech Support 1: $Customer is having issues with their tablet they bought from us.
Tech Support 2: tell them to shut it off and shut it back on
Me: ❓4 -
So what do you call it when you get bombarded by emails saying your servers are at 100% CPU, but once you fire up the monitoring tools everything is back to normal?
FUCK YOU AMAZON IT'S MY DAY OFF.3 -
In uni
Lecturer: SOAP is insecure...
In interview: Any disadvantages you see with SOAP?
Me: The last i read SOAP is insecure. Im abit rusty with this knowledge
Interviewer: ahhh okay, SOAP is actually secure...
DAMN YOU LECTURER!2 -
SORRY, OF OFF-TOPIC
Have you ever woke up one day, and EVERYTHING in your day went wrong?
I am working in a online media website to earn money while I'm on the university.
Today I had to deliver a work for uni in the morning. I only had to print it. Well... The printer wasn't working, so I got late to work.
At least they were cool about it.
Then I started working.
I had to record and edit 2 videos (and other easier things in between).
The first one went very smoothly and fast.
Then I "recorded" the second one. This one was with the most beautiful woman on there. Deamn, she's beautiful...
I got very nervouse.
First take, at the end of it, I look to my right and the mike was on the table. So she was basically talking to no one.
We had to record a second time.
When we finished, I looked at the camera, and I saw that I hadn't connected the audio receptor to the camera. Fuck! I was so unfocused...
We had to record a 3rd time.
What a shame.......
Then my colleague was in my computer, and I end up getting out of work 2 hours extra.
Now, to finish, I just lost my last bus home, and I need to take a taxi...
Fuuuuuuuck! -
How can you bring in a PBX device with no manual at all and the settings are all in Chinese and expect me to be a God and configure it?2
-
What happens when you give a database design to your boss as per what he wants done, he sees it is not impressed, scolds you, curses you out and claims you are 'fraud'. Then you tell him you can do better to redeem yourself...you submit the work better than the first time
And then he terminates you due to 'lack of proficiency'.3 -
Well, it happened, my school managed to block SSH
It also means no more git, and if this shit isn't fixed I might be forced to use TFS
Whoop de doo
11 -
How to create an installer according to ST microelectronics.
Display the entire license agreement using more.
At the end of this massive license agreement there is a y/n "do you accept". If you press any key other than y you have to start over.
So you have to slowly press enter for 5 minutes so you don't miss the confirmation which you will inevitably do multiple times anyway.
Also make this the last step in the installation so you have to waste time and bandwidth redownloading everything.6 -
Unrelated to programming:
If I'm doing async karaoke (i.e., I'm using an app like Smule where one person records one part and you join or vice versa) and the other person decides to randomly COME INTO MY LANE and not just sing my part, but sing it off-key, I get irrationally annoyed about it. It's great if they do that at the beginning of the song because then you can just bail. But when they do it at like the very end, I'm like ... 😬 -
Well after working on this project for about 2-3 weeks guess what I deleted my source code😢😢😢
Im the opposite of motivated16 -
First time to lay off someone. Man that feels not good, even if the person was still in probation period...
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Been invited to a bi-weekly meeting about a project that I'm not even working on yet.
I think I'll just go and cut my own brake cables then drive home. -
As a mobile developer I get fucking pissed off when I get a ticket on Jira saying: Response code 500
The server fucked up why am I the one to be reached for? Especially that code is displayed when no response body is returned -
The thing I hate the most at the moment, is working/receiving tasks on chat (Skype, telegram).
Content, corrections and all. As I like to scroll my hand off to copy your fucking content while you keep writing on an on.
Write a motherfucking document!
Now I start raging at the any chat notifications 😡😈2 -
Has anyone here considered going off grid? Im dreaming of buying a plot somewhere in Chile and building an off grid home. Im a remote worker and plan to remain being one.
(Off grid meaning generating your own electricity, 'harvesting' rain water and growing some greens)
Im asking to get advice and opinions2 -
Trying to make an event calendar in javascript--too busy laughing and scrolling here. Maybe I'll stay up until 4 to compensate
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!rant
How did you all get into development? I've heard some pretty non-linear career trajectories from friends of mine, but I'm not sure if that's normative for developers as a whole. Your thoughts?13 -
A Chinese coworker who always brought a tea flavoured hand lotion bottle and applied it before coding on his finger tips and wore the same clothes from Monday to Friday changed only his shoes...2
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I'm super pissed off... I recently got this job, I've been here for three months but in the current project for a month and a half... in this time I learned Laravel and the project is no big deal, I'm more than happy to learn but I'm working with a "Senior" programmer who "has a lot of experience" and "knows a lot" and "very friendly"... the thing is that we use Jira and BitBucket to assign work and control versions, however, the motherfucker doesn't do a shit and when I ask him about something, he totally ignores me... I checked on the latest merges and tickets and I've done like 50 within this month and a half and he has done like 15... He also made me do a big ass thing with a PDF and at the end he completely destroyed it and just used a table with no styles that looks like shit. He took 40 minutes to tell me something he already knew about the models because "I'm sorry, I got distracted"... What should I do?2
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Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
Ok who is the Cordova dev that thought it would be funny to make the indices from the confirmation box start at 1 and not mention it in the docs?!
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My stress ball has been stolen!
I came in to work to an email alerting me to a bug in production. I copied the site to staging to work on the issue but I was unable to replicate bug. My rubber duck wasn't helping so I went to go bounce my ball off the wall when I realized I don't have a stress ball anymore.
I spent 7 hours working on the bug without a stress ball before finally fixing it. And now I'm ready to deal with the theft the old-fashioned way.3 -
!rant
So Microsoft thought it was a great idea to force-install updates and restart my Window Server 2016.
Please, Microsoft. It's time to stop.6 -
POP mail, I just prefer it over IMAP, but I am probably the only one, and my reasons are questionable. But I care not.4
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Fuck this algorithms course. How the fuck do you expect me to populate a 2d array of N^2 elements with data in linear time if you won't fucking let me write to more than one element at a time???
Dear CS department,
Make sure your homework makes fucking sense before shipping it off to students.
Regards,
A pissed off student
And before anyone comes at me with this "But you can technically do that if there's k*N elements and it would still be linear time" shit, fuck off; there's a worst case of needing to write to half the elements in the 2d array so it's still N^2 no matter how you try to "but technically" your way though it.3 -
Today shall be a good day, took a day of annual leave. It's sunny and I intend not touching my laptop.1
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I know there is SoundCloud, Earbits for music... Sometimes I use YouTube.
I am coding to get to my beast mode but my YouTube mix picks up a song I don't want and then I change tabs just to skip or change your mix...then poooofff
ALL OVA SURRRDDDDEN
You are watching "scaring cats videos" -
My day today:
- tell everyone to fuck off and are idiots politely from 10 to 4
- tell them if they won’t fuck off now I will start looking for a job - 1 hour
- listening them apologizing me - 1 hour
- code and solve problems - 1 hour
Mondays
Hopefully I start working on Tuesday.5 -
!rant
I love the people on github who puts one line text and a gif of their project. So easy to understand and not having to read some large text. Keep up the good work people.2 -
Virgin media have again told us everything will be sorted in a few hours, with moving the connection.
For their sake they better be right this time as hell hath no fury like a nerd scorn. -
age++
unfortunately we have a new CTO and handful of senior level resources joining our company this week, and I've risen to too lofty a position to be able to take the day off.
but they are sorely mistaken if they expect me not to fuck off to at least some degree. I also managed to obtain a PS5 last week so my attention this week never stood a chance. the most they'll get is a couple hours worth of on-boarding meetings outta me.1 -
So what do you call people who like Apple devices only or Android devices only? Or someone who thinks Apple devices are superior only or Android devices are superior only ?
Devicist ???11 -
It looks like Windows almost stopped me from exiting the mall. I had to call customer care to save me from situation. The toll station froze on me. Why Windows? Why?
3 -
Today is my last coursework submission. I've touched on a lot of topics I never thought I would be able to do/even thought about. I like data science, but I just don't feel so passionate about it now. I just want to ditch coursework and do cool shit, but I never find the time.
Anyone else get somewhat "fed up" of what they've studied? How did you get through it? Just do the "cool shit"?3 -
You know why there is no sharp, non-blurry weirdass image of these Windows Update screens? Cus they actually don't take very long and in your shaking senseless windows hate you gotta pull up the camera asap to get a picture of it, after you missed it last time.3
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Who invented WhatsApp in the first place anyway?
Cuz I do not know when is the right time to "off work" since I start working.
People start ranting about my blue ticks if I don't reply after working hours.5 -
Hey guys / and girls I've been of the grid as faar as social media is concerned for quiet some time... I assume the IT-world ist still as fucked up as it was when i left?
What happend? (Other than jase creating and deleting N-numbers of Accounts)
Also ist @linuxxx still alive? I just got a certificate error accessing https://linu.xxx
I missed you, devranters... Bring me up to speed21 -
I'm getting more and more fed up with my fellow colleagues who encounter errors in the execution of their code and come to me like bumbling idiots..." I don't know ow what's wrong ... It's not working"
DID YOU READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE? I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE IT TELLS YOU EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG! YOU KNOW WHAT...EVEN IF ITS NOT 100% CLEAR GOOGLE IT. BET YOU FIND THE ANSWER
To add insult to idiocracy...I recently over heard grumblings of being displeased at current level - fuck off you lazy ass child - if you can't read an error and Google for the damned solution in today's era search engines and developer assistance, you don't deserve to call yourself a "Senior Developer"
People like to act like there's some great secret to becoming a competent developer...I'm posit over half is simple reading comprehension2 -
Time to reinstall Windows 10 again... I want to switch over to some Linux distro but then i can't play GTA :(
11 -
There are 43 people in our team. Every 43 of them come to salute me in the morning, fuck off, let me work. Just go ahead with your shit but leave me alone.4
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Had to take all my annual leave this month because I didn’t take any during the year.
Im fucking bored. I wanna go to the office..
Don’t know what to do with my time. I stopped doing personal projects a while back because I never stick with one idea for long enough to finish it..
My job gives me a purpose..8 -
Client push back: when the client wants an impractical feature to be implemented and you tell them HELL NO, with a little sugar coating of course
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Its funny when your code is tested by your peers and they approve it and it works...and when you present your progress to your PO he says it doesnt work...hmmmmm1
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Something very interesting today
I worked on an API feature and it was approved and merge to the stable copy of the project. But then comes the demo.
Now we used Heroku(this devil)
The database uses sqlite. I can register an account on the web application. But the user table has only the admin account even though i have successfully managed to register.
I dont know what sorcery this was!
I simply went with the saying "it is working on my local machine"
Only to realise minutes to the demo the build pack was not done well at the beginning...
What is life... -
All married devs here who married devs
Why did you chose a dev and not another profession?
Of course skipping the love4 -
For a moment, hold your php-hate in..
..FOR FUCKS SAKE they turned off warnings and errors on the server for customer applications. What the fuck. I mirrored one of those to fiddle around at home to find all generated files stuffed with "warning: we have no idea what we are doing at every line".
FML.
And yeah, the solution for my end is kind of simple, turn them off, too, but how about coding it the right way?:I -
Pycharm why you no allow me to continue to use the professional edition...
Damnn and they way pycharm has served me well7 -
Emailed to a group seeking for help on a certain web app function.
Specifically mentioned that I tried turning my system off and on but didn't work.
(To ensure no one suggests me this)
Got a reply, did you click the restart button in the web app UI.
I closed the browser and opened again, and the fucking issue was resolved by the restart button on the UI.2 -
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone -
I have speakers with a built-in amplifier that turn themselves off if no audio has been played for a while.
Behold: ~/bin/turn-on-speaker
#!/usr/bin/env sh
alsabat
Speaker turns on when it recieves sound, but it takes a while to play anything, so I won't hear anything anyway.4 -
Dude i asked you to review my pull request because i thought we were cool. The code change is about a simple rename, SO FUCK OFF WITH THE REFACTOR SUGGESTIONS. STOP DOING THAT TO MY CODE REVIEWS
2 -
I'm on a project that has been off the rails for a few weeks. We're no longer working off tickets/the scrum board. Clients are asking for production servers yesterday.
Things are behind. Some people are working nights and weekends. I'm one of the people who are vary vocal about not working over time and I haven't worked a single night or weekend yet (we're salary exempt too; no extra pay).
I even bought up in a meeting how I was not happy about people being guilt tripped for not working over (our PO messaged me out of band a few weeks back telling me my teammates would appreciate me putting in more effort).
I agreed to work this Sunday and already regret it, even though they said there'd be compensation (without mentioning what that compensation is). I was also told everyone is doing it and that's not true either.
In my 18 years in IT, I've worked at ~ 13 companies. This one is in the bottom 3 for sure.2 -
Porca puttanata, non funziona un cazzo.
Fuck this api is so strange sometimes.
Ich hab die Schnauze voll, aber die Scheiße will nicht rendern wie ich es will. -
That feeling when you come from other languages(like scala, c# or js) and you try to do a aggregation on a list in Java 8.. .
😤😭😩😰😱😵😧😖😲😕3 -
My professor said that he cold booted the pc.
It took me around a minute to realise that he meant he turned off and switched it back on.1 -
I fucking hate Richard Hendricks. That long nose jack off is not qualified to lead a retarded child to the loo let alone heading a company!2
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Dude. I asked my question like 6 months ago. I got an upvote and two answers. I accepted the one which helped me the most and upvoted it myself.
How about you fuck off with your edit suggestions on a buried subject? -
You build, develop and test systems and software...but because its under the bracket of IT, they think playing music and kinda sorta being a DJ and watchman of a laptop during a promotion is sufficient for you.
-
do you know the feeling, when it is friday and it is like nice hot weather 26°c. you kinda wished you could just zit outside and enjoy the view days of the summer that are not to hot or to cold (location: the netherlands).
this made me slack off today. only did my sprint planning for next monday and wrote some unit test and some software modification documents.4 -
I generally do not like google for many reasons, but if they added this feature to android "disable app notifications by default", I would love and kiss them to death.
Notifications these days are just about the most abhorrent feature of smart phones. I have never owned an iPhone so cannot say anything about that, but on Android its just bad. The system itself is good, but its being misused by developers. Today I checked out this app called "CPU Cooler", its one of those apps that tricks people into believing they should close apps in order to save battery life. Anyways, I opened it, I "cleaned my phone" and closed it. About an hour later I got this notification "heeey, you haven't cleaned your phone in a while".
Fuck off, uninstalled.
If it ever becomes socially acceptable, I would buy a Nokia brickphone in a heartbeat. My cousin said we would be much better off without smartphones and he is (possibly) absolutely right.9 -
When co-workers act like you have no work to do. So they try to give you more stuff.
Fuck. This. Shit.1 -
Can i just get a simple consistent react tutorial that goes step by step even when consuming an API...
IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR? -
I'm off any caffeine since eastern 2019.
Funny tho, I work as efficient as always + get a natural amount/intensity of sleep :)2 -
Focus: Get up and walk around, disturb someone(calculated disturbing), break a window,
Procrastinating: DO IT NOW, JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE
....sorry
Yes my 2 cents -
When you roll out a new system is disaster recovery testing on your roadmap? For example, do you do failover and have users work through a comprehensive test script and have them sign off before going into production?1
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That day 19th January 1996 . I pooped my ass off whle seeing the world for the first time and continueing to do so everytime i woke up.13
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What do you do when you wake up feeling that you don't want to work today, and you don't have any clear reason for that, you force yourself to go or you take day off, and why?1
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I get a late start (two weeks) on a jumping in on a project because I was assisting with production issues. The service is not running and basically nothing has been checked in. Mind you, we're not doing anything new.
"Senior" (while I'm trying to work on my part ) : Hey can you hurry up and finish your part? I'm thinking about coming up with a completely different way than what the group wants. (heard this several times)
Me : *finishs my part with coverage and gets the service up running and rating in a week because I'm avoiding code conflicts*
"Senior" : OK well nevermind what I said about coming up with a different strategy. I'll develop the last bit of the service since again everything has been laid out already on what to do.
Me : OK, I'll work on code coverage for the rest of the project and updating the code based on feedback from the other team members.
Me (a week later after hearing that he has moved on to another task) : Did you finish up that last bit?
"Senior" : Well I shifted focus working on feedback from the review. Feel free to finish that last bit I was supposed to work on because I don't know wtf I'm doing and I would rather ride your ass instead of attempting anything significant on my own.
Me: Heard.
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Working for a little SharePoint-Company while studying.
Have to hunt bugs.
Found a major bug which kills one of our customers SharePoint-Site completely because of code pasta.
Told my supervisor about the bug and reported it.
"yeh. we will fix it now"
2h later they started to go live.
"Did you fix the bug?"
"No. Wanted to have the system live asap."
On my way home I got a call.
"We need you back here in the office"
"Why?"
"It crashed. Is not reachable anymore. Help fixing it"
fuck off
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I have a Lenovo IdeaPad 330s and it shows the battery percentage remaining when we press any key on the keyboard while the laptop is switched off. This is a really handy feature. Does anyone know how it is implemented or how could it be implemented (on other laptops) ?
Don't just ++, favorite this post, pin it (so, you can comment on it if you find the way later) and please, mention it in the comments if you know it.5 -
There should be a ***rant for every aspect of life, such as socrant (rants on society and politics), famrant (rants on how much family life (or to all singles out there, the lack of a family) sucks (or rocks) sometimes) and conrant (rants on all sorts of consumer products/services). Not to forget, the most important of all, trarant (traffic rant, about the rich diversity of stupidity among both drivers and pedestrians).1
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Damnnn my Team lead is hinting that i write a test for the feature I paired with a team member.
But the large django code base is ridden with abstract classes and classes and inheritance etc...its going to be a long night -
I'm pretty sure remote teams don't work with the remote team doing all the coding and we have the same exact JD and in the same department...*sigh* when management are foreign, they really are afraid of letting the local tech team help out. No wonder we are 3, sorry 2 since a fellow dev left to a better job in Amsterdam
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The fact that I have to leave for work in 5 mins on a Saturday just because we had Thursday off for reasons irritates me more than it should. As if 5 days a week isn't suffering enough...1
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"we don't care about the statement of work or that you've fulfilled it. We want <insert massive list if unrelated and unrealistic requirements here>."
Yeah, we'll eat a bullet you ham-fisted, knob gobbling buffons. -
!rant Java web framework?
sorry for the OT, if you are single (novice) web developer and you had to choose your first web java framework, what would you pick?7 -
Ran a test today. It was comparing whether a the reducer returned the correct state when a type and list is passed to it. The test failed. But something very curious happened. I am using webstorm and so the IDE told me 'click to see differences'. I did and the message at the top read as follows "The 2 lists are identical" (The expected and actual result). So my test worked but it didn't work. What is life!? I finally got it working though😕1
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Windows 10 , I just want a flipping built in command line executable to log off another (local) user. I'm not a server, I don't have active directory, I don't want to switch to log in as that user first, i want to just kill their inactive local session because cisco freaking vpn doesn't allow you to connect when a other user is logged in. I can kill the session from admin task manager, I just want to be in the commandline. If your gonna let software check the number of logged in users, let the freaking administration modify the number of logged in users with a cli.
Idk if I could turn it off an on again. On a server I would just issue "query sessions" or "query users" followed by "logoff ##". Why not let me do the same damn thing on my home computer sk I don't have to restart MY SESSION just to close MY WIFE'S session. You stupid fraking company that cannot provide consistent command line programs across various systems. SCREW YOU MICROSOFT AND YOUR UTTER ASANINE DECISION MAKING REGARDING WHAT FEATURES TO INCLUDE IN WHAT BUILDS.2 -
Fuck yeah, first vacation in 11 months! And we will also have some lay-off too so I get some extra vacations.
Many in my company is worried about lay-off but I'm actually happy, will have more vacation than expected so I'm good with it, actually fucking happy 👌
Now just need to think something to do 🤔2 -
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
I was out of work for 6 months...I applied at a company that takes in devs and trains them. There was a test, then a personal interview, then a bootcamp process...it was hard. But I pulled through.
-
!rant
What you guys do on Sundays? Saturdays I pay the bills, run some errands and study.
Sundays I wish I has something to apply muy mind to, other than code.
Any recomendations?9 -
I need to monitor the off heap memory of a spark on yarn application (executors, mostly) running in Java. Any tool/method that someone could suggest?
-
Well here i thought i would have done work...and pooof its time to go home
All i did was refactor with and make PR...
*SIGH*
I guess today was one of those days where little work was done -
FFS if you're Ajaxing some shit onto your crappy webpage, show that it's loading.
Even just "Loading..." is better than making me click on a random piece of shit on the page because the thing I wanted to click jumped down the screen a nano-second before I clicked it because you Ajaxed some cookie warning/advert above it.
The Internet is becoming unusable.1 -
Actually there are some things:
- Knowing when to stop or switch off from work;
- Too many video calls and meetings;
- No lunch time with team mates;
And many more that I'm sure that I'm forgetting 😅 -
So I have to record a video on why I should be a brand ambassador. I've researched the company, and know I should be confident and show I'm social, but any suggestions on how you think I should be unique so I stand out?
-
Why does the biggest mobile money payment system in our country have such crappy documentation! Arghh
And they tell us to read the DOCUMENTATION it has all the answers -
So for the current project, they want to start testing the application from Monday next week and the development part section still has a few bugs that need to be handled. But that isn't the worst part. The worst part I just heard is that the designs themselves haven't even been signed off. How the fuck did we get to the point where the designs haven't been signed off where the development has been going underway for the past 2.5 months? I swear I'm working with the fucking worst project manager!
-
What do I do on my day off? I write a Slack-Twilio integration so I can send text messages from my laptop. (Yeah, iMessage on the Macbook works too, but that's not the number I wanted to text from.)3
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My coding style is mostly influenced by good old personal preference, but also because of a certain internship where there was a lot of gain to be had by making everything as reusable and testable as possible.
I guess you could say my motto is usability, readability and flexibility:
I like tidy, reusable code with an emphasis on keeping code readable. I've always liked modular things I guess...
And I despise two things: curly brackets on the next line and spaces for indentation... But way worse is having no brackets at all (looking at you Python): it's clearer to have lower-level code inside some sort of "container" markers i.e. brackets (also gives more IDE functionality like color-coding hierarchically).
Indentation should always be tabs so anyone can have their own width of indentation set through their IDE, making it way more accessible to fellow colleagues!
And I also like having parameterized code over hard-coded functions: way more flexible. -
Hell, I always thought I was a team player, but is it a great week being the sole developer (all the other on vacation). So I didn't get interrupted all the time, read overblown PR. Still, even in their absence I spent about three days fixing their build issues and PR's, but I could sit down and read the code, some documentation to get a better understanding why it all sucks and what we should do with our pain in the ass build system.
It's really a blast, deleting some stupid code, removing superfluous dependencies and above all leaving snarky remarks in the commit messages and code comments. Just letting some steam off. Code is where my devrant is. -
How is it that a customer ends up "failing" some development work which was our (my) idea, presented to them as a proof-of-concept solution to a problem?
Mentioning some phantom specification and saying "it's not this and it's not that".
You'll get what you're given you fucking little retard piece of shit. Sorry I opened my fucking mouth, you can struggle in future you stupid, inconsiderate fucking hollow-brained bastard. Shove it up your arse and take your manager's dick out of your mouth. They think you're a fucking prick too, just like your parents.
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