Modern web development is fucked. Just absolutely, totally screwed up.

I want to create a simple to do list web app. Look for a tutorial: "OK guys, this is really easy, it just takes five minutes."

First step, install these:
- Git
- NPM
- NodeJS
- Express
- MongoDB
- Docker
- React

Second step, npm install about one million modules. Don't question what they do or why they're there.

Before you know it, six hours have passed and you've got a code base of 3GB and you haven't even _started_ on your app.

FUCK that shit! I can create this web app with Internet Explorer and Notepad.

Fuck the memes.

Fuck the framework battles.

Fuck the language battles.

Fuck the titles.

Anybody who has been in this field long enough knows that it doesn't matter if your linus fucking torvalds, there is no human who has lived or ever will live that simultaneously understands, knows, and remembers how to implement, in multiple languages, the following:

- jest mocks for complex React components (partial mocks, full mocks, no mocks at all!)
- token cancellation for asynchronous Tasks in C#
- fullstack CRUD, REST, and websocket communication (throw in gRPC for bonus points)
- database query optimization, seeding, and design
- nginx routing, https redirection
- build automation with full test coverage and environment consideration
- docker container versioning, restoration, and cleanup
- internationalization on both the front AND backends
- secret storage, security audits
- package management, maintenence, and deprecation reviews
- integrating with dozens of APIs
- fucking how to center a div

and that's a _comically_ incomplete list; barely scratches the surface of the full range of what a dev can encounter in a given day of writing software

have many of us probably done one or even all of these at different times? surely.

but does that mean we are supposed to draw that up at a moment's notice some cookie-cutter solution like a fucking robot and spit out an answer on a fax sheet?

recruiters, if you read this site (perhaps only the good ones do anyway so its wasted oxygen), just know that whoever you hire its literally the luck of the draw of how well they perform during the interview. sure, perhaps some perform better, but you can never know how good someone is until they literally start working at your org, so... have fun with that.

Oh and I almost forgot, again for you recruiters, on top of that list which you probably won't ever understand for the entirety of your lives, you can also add writing documentation, backup scripts, and orchestrating / administrating fucking JIRA or actually any somewhat technical dashboard like a CMS or website, because once again, the devs are the only truly competent ones - and i don't even mean in a technical sense, i mean in a HUMAN sense of GETTING SHIT DONE IN GENERAL.

There's literally 2 types of people in the world: those who sit around drawing flow charts and talking on the phone all day, and those WHO LITERALLY FUCKING BUILD THE WORLD

why don't i just run the whole fucking company at this point? you guys are "celebrating" that you made literally $5 dollars from a single customer and i'm just sitting here coding 12 hours a day like all is fine and well

i'm so ANGRY its always the same no matter where i go, non-technical people have just no clue, even when you implore them how long things take, they just nod and smile and say "we'll do it the MVP way". sure, fine, you can do that like 2 or 3 times, but not for 6 fucking months until you have a stack of "MVPs" that come toppling down like the garbage they are.

How do expect to keep the "momentum" of your customers and sales (I hope you can hear the hatred of each of these market words as I type them) if the entire system is glued together with ducktape because YOU wanted to expedite the feature by doing it the EASY way instead of the RIGHT way. god, just forget it, nobody is going to listen anyway, its like the 5th time a row in my life

we NEED tests!
we NEED to know our code coverage!
we NEED to design our system to handle large amounts of traffic!
we NEED detailed logging!
we NEED to start building an exception database!

BILBO BAGGINS! I'm not trying to hurt you! I'm trying to help you!

Don't really know what this rant was, I'm just raging and all over the place at the universe. I'm going to bed.

WHEN DOCKER IMAGE NUMBER TWENTY-MOTHERFUCKING-TRILLION FAILS TO COMPILE /RENDER/WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER THE GODDAMN DATA WITHOUT PROVIDING SUFFICIENT ERROR/HOWEVER-YOU-FUCKING-CALL-IT DEBUGGING INFORMATION.

I'M DONE. I. AM. SO. FUCKING. DONE.

God damn fucking Windows bullshit.

Why is the fuck does Microsoft HATE its users?

Latest updates, and no fuck Windows 11, completely BREAKS all of my WSL environments.

Home directories are gone, or the environments are corrupt and won't even run.

99% of the issues these dense shit-fucks cause are because they RaNdOmLy reboot for their dumbass updates instead of scheduling them with the end user. During these rebots, do you thing they wait for everything to shut down?

HELL NO!

They just shut that shit down like they fucking own it. Editors? Gone. Browsers? Gone. WSL Consoles? Gone. Docker containers? Gone. IEdge? Hey, we have great news, we made IE your default browser again! BTW, your upgrade to Windows 11 is free until we force you to upgrade!

I'm so fed up with it.....so fucking tired of it...

The only reason why I even use WSL these days is to ssh into my Linux devices or run some quick dev tests in containers. Why not use PuTTY for SSH? Because it fucking SUCKS that's why.

I'm feeling so many emotions right now over bullshit that shouldn't even be happening. I'm literally at the point that I'm just going to install Linux on this device and just create a Windows VM on one of my hosts so I can still do "work" things that involve leadership.

Last meeting I suggested we started using unit test and perhaps TDD on our platforms.

My boss is open to it and everyone seems to like the idea...

Now I just discovered that our dumbass coworker is trying to say by my back that its a bad idea to double the code efforts and that he sees no point in it...

Well dumbass cock sucker who can't even fucking remember how to write `docker-compose up` without messing things up you can fuck your self because you are certainly gonna be fucked sideways untill the end of the year.

In january 2023 i was contacted by a recruiter offering me a job position.

I DID NOT ASK FOR A JOB.

I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB.

THEY contacted ME.

Ok. So i went along with it and see how it goes. They probably wont hire me nor would i give a shit. Chatted with this recruiter for a while. She forgets to answer my message for 5 fucking days. Twice. Once because she was doing God knows what and the second time because she was on paid vacation. Fine i don't give a shit about you at all anyways.

So this recruiter chatting has been stretched out for several days. I think over a WEEK. So she forwarded me to their lead developer.

I applied to work as a full stack java spring boot backend + angular frontend engineer.

So:
- java backend
- angular frontend
- full stack
- shitload of devops
- shitload of projects i built
- worked with clients
- have CS degree, graduated
- worked a job at their rival company

What could go fucking wrong with all of these stats right?

During technical + hr interview (3 of us on google meets) they asked me what salary I'd be comfortable with.

I said $1500/month straight out.

keep in mind:
- In my country $500 or $600 is a salary for engineers per month
- You get a raise of +$150 which is around $750 after working for 1+ year
- You can earn $1000+ after you work for +2 years
- Rent here is $200-300 a month at minimun. And because of inflation its just getting worse especially with food. So this salary is not for living but for survival.

Their lead engineer gave me a WHOLE ASS FUCKING PROJECT TO BUILD and i had to code it within 10 days. Great so at least 17+ days of my fucking life to waste on these fucktards who contacted ME.

The project was about building a web app coffee shop literally what mcdonalds has when you order via those tablets. I had to build this in java spring boot and angular. I had to integrate:
- docker, devops
- barmen, baristas, orders
- people can order at the table or to go
- each barista can take 5 orders at a time
- each coffee has different types of fields and brewing time
- each barman brews each coffee different period of time
- barista cant take more than 5 orders for to go until barman finishes the previous order
- barista can take more than 5 orders but if those orders were ordered from table, and they have to be put in queue
- had to build CRUD admin functionality coffee's
- had to export them all of the postman routes
- had to design a scalable database infrastructure for all of this alone
- shitload of stuff more

And guess what. After 10 painful days I BUILT THE WHOLE THING MYSELF AND I BUILT EVERYTHING THEY ASKED FOR. IT WAS WORKING.

Submitted it. They told me they'll contact me within 7 days to schedule the final Technical interview after they review what i built. Great so another 17+7 days of my fucking time wasted.

OH and they also told me to send them THE WHOLE GITHUB REPOSITORY AND TRANSFER OWNERSHIP TO THEIR COMPANY'S OWNERSHIP. once you do this you cant have your repository back. WTF? WHY CANT YOU JUST REVIEW THE CODE FROM MY PUBLIC REPOSITORY? That was so weird but what can i fucking do argue with these dickheads?

After a week of them not answering i contacted them via email. They forgot and apologized. Smh. Then they scheduled an interview within 3 days. Great more of my time wasted.

During interview i was on a google meets with their lead engineer, 1 backend java spring boot engineer and 1 angular frontend developer. They were milking me dry for 1 whole fucking hour.

They only pointed out the flaws in what i built, which are miniscule and have not once congratulated me on the rest of the good parts. I explained them i had to rush those parts so the code may not be perfect. I had other shit to do in my life and not work for your shitty project for $0/hour for 10 days you fucking dickriders.

So they quickly ran over to theory. They asked me where is jwt token stored. Who generates it. How the backend knows to authenticate user by it. I explained.

What are solid principles. I said i cant explain what is it but i understand how it works, why its needed and how to implement it (they can clearly see in the project i just build that i applied SOLID principles everywhere) - but i do admit i dont know the theory behind it 100% clearly.

Then they asked me about observables and promises in angular. I explained them how they work and how subscribe method is used (as they can clearly see that i used it in the code). Then they asked me to explain them under the hood of how observables work. The fuck? I dont know and dont care? But i can learn it as i work there?

Etc

Final result: after dragging this for 1 fucking month for miserable $1500/month they told me: we can either hire you now but for a much lower salary which you probably wont be happy with, or you can study more these things we discussed "and know why the car leaks oil" and reapply back to us in 2-3 months!

Ok friends let's try to compile Flownet2 with Torch. It's made by NVIDIA themselves so there won't be any problem at all with dependencies right?????? /s

Let's use Deep Learning AMI with a K80 on AWS, totally updated and ready to go super great always works with everything else.

> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> CUDA versions overwrite
> Library paths not updated ever
> Torch 0.4.1 doesn't work so have to go back to Torch 0.4
> Flownet doesn't compile, get bunch of CUDA errors piece of shit code
> online forums have lots of questions and 0 answers
> Decide to skip straight to vid2vid
> More cuda errors
> Can't compile the fucking 2d kernel
> Through some act of God reinstalling cuda and CuDNN, manage to finally compile Flownet2
> Try running
> "Kernel image" error
> excusemewhatthefuck.jpg
> Try without a label map because fuck it the instructions and flags they gave are basically guaranteed not to work, it's fucking Nvidia amirite
> Enormous fucking CUDA error and Torch error, makes no sense, online no one agrees and 0 answers again
> Try again but this time on a clean machine
> Still no go
> Last resort, use the docker image they themselves provided of flownet
> Same fucking error
> While in the process of debugging, realize my training image set is also bound to have bad results because "directly concatenating" images together as they claim in the paper actually has horrible results, and the network doesn't accept 6 channel input no matter what, so the only way to get around this is to make 2 images (3 * 2 = 6 quick maths)
> Fix my training data, fuck Nvidia dude who gave me wrong info
> Try again
> Same fucking errors
> Doesn't give nay helpful information, just spits out a bunch of fucking memory addresses and long function names from the CUDA core
> Try reinstalling and then making a basic torch network, works perfectly fine
> FINALLY.png
> Setup vid2vid and flownet again
> SAME FUCKING ERROR

> Try to build the entire network in tensorflow
> CUDA error
> CuDNN version mismatch
> Doesn't work with TF
> HAVE TO FUCKING DOWNGEADE DRIVERS TOO
> TF doesn't support latest cuda because no one in the ML community can be bothered to support anything other than their own machine
> After setting up everything again, realize have no space left on 75gb machine
> Try torch again, hoping that the entire change will fix things

At this point I'll leave a space so you can try to guess what happened next before seeing the result.

Ready?

3

2

1

> SAME FUCKING ERROR

In conclusion, NVIDIA is a fucking piece of shit that can't make their own libraries compatible with themselves, and can't be fucked to write instructions that actually work.

If anyone has vid2vid working or has gotten around the kernel image error for AWS K80s please throw me a lifeline, in exchange you can have my soul or what little is left of it

Docker on Windows....Fuck this $#@&*+@&@ of #&f-@ș!

Who holds the #1 Google spot for these queries?

fuck c#: devRant
fuck typescript: devRant
fuck xcode: devRant
fuck product owner: devRant

fuck docker: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck java: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck agile: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck scrum: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck sql: reddit (devRant is 2)
fuck node: reddit (devRant is 3)
fuck php: github (devRant is 4)
fuck python: github (devRant is 4)
fuck clojure: reddit (devRan't didn't rank on first page)
fuck rust: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)
fuck scala: reddit (devRant didn't rank on first page)

fuck ruby: **am I still connected to the company VPN? I might have some explaining to do** (devRant didn't rank)

I'm so fucking sick of the lack of great modern open source DB tooling.

MySQL Workbench can go suck a big fat herpes-ridden cock, it's horrible.

Dbeaver is a clunky 90's tool, which charges two Netflixes (yes, that is a valid $/month monetary unit) just to connect to a NoSQL DB.

Datagrip is nice, but has the same outrageously expensive pricing. I paid for it, and couldn't use it for my local docker DB during my holiday because it couldn't connect to the license server. Fuck you, Jetbrains. Your software is nice, but your DRM makes me hate you.

And then ERD software... It's either some hard-to-use afterthought piece of crap bundled with the DB IDE, some generic diagramming tool which makes DB-specific work needlessly unergonomic, or some vendor-locked online tool.

Fuck this shit, I'm making my own DB admin tool. With blackjack. And hookers. 😡

Tried installing docker on windows today (for an experiment) and after it finally installs and goes to start up i get the hyper-v required, installing will prevent virtualbox from working.

Yea... FUCK NO! There goes that idea 😡

Fuck this fucking docker bullshit allready

Boss: "So I'm taking the next week off. In the mean time, I added some stuff for you to do on Gitlab, we'd need you to pull this Docker image, run it, setup the minimal requirement and play with it until you understand what it does."

Me: "K boss, sounds fun!" (no irony here)

First day: Unable to login to the remote repository. Also, I was given a dude's name to contact if I had troubles, the dude didn't answer his email.

2nd day: The dude aswered! Also, I realized that I couldn't reach the repository because the ISP for whom I work blocks everything within specific ports, and the url I had to reach was ":5443". Yay. However, I still can't login to the repo nor pull the image, the connection gets closed.

3rd day (today): A colleague suggested that I removed myself off the ISP's network and use my 4G or something. And it worked! Finally!! Now all I need to do is to set that token they gave me, set a first user, a first password and... get a 400 HTTP response. Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

These fuckers display a 401 error, while returning a 400 error in the console log!! And the errors says what? "Request failed with status code 401" YES THANK YOU, THIS IS SO HELPFUL! Like fuck yea, I know exactly how t fix this, except that I don't because y'all fuckers don't give any detail on what could be the problem!

4th day (tomorrow): I'm gonna barbecue these sons of a bitch

(bottom note: the dude that answered is actually really cool, I won't barbecue him)

Me: We need to allow the team in the newly acquired subsidiary to access our docker image repositories.
Sec Guy: Why?
Me: So they can run our very expensive AI models that we have prepared onto container images.
Sec Guy: There is a ban on sharing cloud resources with the acquired companies.
Me: So how we're supposed to share artifacts?!?
Sec Guy: Can't you just email them the docker files?
Me: Those images contain expensively trained AI models. You can't rebuild it from the docker files.
Sec Guy: Can't you email the images themselves?
Me: Those are a few gigabytes each. Won't fit in an email and won't even fit the Google drive / onedrive / Dropbox single file size limit.
Sec Guy: Can't you store them in a object storage like S3/GCS/Azure storage?
Me: Sure
Proceed to do that.
Can't give access to the storage for shit.
Call the sec guy
Me: I need to share this cloud storage directory.
Sec Guy (with aparent amnesia): Why?
Me: I just told you! So they can access our AI docker images!
Sec Guy: There is a ban on sharing cloud resources with the acquired companies.
Me: Goes insane

Is there a law or something that you must attempt several alternative methods before the sec people will realize that they are the problem?!?! I mean, frankly, one can get an executable artifact by fucking email and run it but can't pull it from a private docker registry? Why the fuck would their call it "security"?

Docker and kubernetes might be about the biggest boost in productivity that we have had as developers in the last fucking century and I can't speak well enough for theres technoligies.

FUCK ME this shit is good, this shit is great and this shit is NEEDED.

FUCKING LEARN THIS TECH

Fuck docker documentation.

In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:

- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.

- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.

- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla

- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.

- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works

- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.

- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦‍♂️

So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...

How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...

FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES

Ok, so I basically spent my weekend trying to work out why the fuck my python docker container would not connect to my mariadb docker container. Tried fucking everything, bridged network, host network, links (even though theyre deprecated), you name it. It would NOT WORK!

In my despair I finally turned to StackOverflow. There I was told 5min after posting the question that the reason was probably that mysql is a quite heavy service, which takes a bit to start up.

I thought to myself "Oh, get the fuck outta here, that can't be it, shit's way too easy to work!"
I tried it nevertheless by adding a 10sec delay before querying the database AND THE MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS!! So, I essentially just lost a weekend because I was too impatient... I think I'm gonna punch some trees now.

I love Docker... but i absolutely fucking hate Docker for Windows.
No matter what I fucking do after a couple of hours messing around i find the "its a known limitation on Docker for Windows..." FUCK YOU

Oh boy, finally something to rant about.

I got hired in a "small" company (not even 2000 people in it), then got "shipped" to a way bigger company. Basically, I work for this company (the french biggest internet / phone service provider) but in the name of my own. And this since last wednesday.

First off, I'm fucking stupid. After leaving the big company that I was in before, I swore to myself that from now on, I would work for smaller companies, mainly because I couldn't stand the inertia that big company have. You ask for something, you get it a month and a half after. The old company has about 6000 employees... This company has 98k people in it. Fuck. My. Life.

Now, to the rant: Orange (the company) decided that they had to move their office somewhere else. They set up a lot of things so that all we needed to do was to put things in boxes, to work somewhere else until next monday, then we could go to the new office on tuesday morning.

Keep in mind that I have been there for 8 days: I keep learning how they do their stuff. For example, if I need a specific docker image, I can't get it from the Docker Hub, the download will fail. However, if I hit an Orange subdomain's registry, I will get this image from a mirror. Because fuck logic.

When we join the company, they give us a Windows laptop ("yeaah we have useless but required Orange softwares that don't run on Linux" "Yeeaaah fuck you") that have a specific VPN allowing us to use the Orange network and, in theory, you can download docker images or clone orange repositories from that network.

In practice, you can simply just go fuck yourself. Why? Because whenever you want to curl, wget or pull anything (or even pip install), your connection keeps being shut down while it waits for the response's header.

The worst part? According to my (new) boss's evasive answers, the way to fix that works with glue, sticks and the power of the Force.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ENFORCE US A SHITTY OS FOR DEVELOPMENT, WHEN THE TOOLS YOU SHOVE IN IT WITH A FAKE SMILE DON'T EVEN WORK, AND WE HAVE TO HACK OUR WAY TO FUCKING WORK?

Fuck i hate myself right now...
> Wanted to install minikube on my homeserver(which doesn't have a graphics card in it)
> Error: Virtualization is not enabled
> Take the server out of my rack, opens my desktop pc, takes the gpu out, puts in it my server, and then goes into bios.
> Find that virtualization is enabled.
> Realize that I'm running a dozen docker containers on a daily basis from my server, so OF FREAKING COURSE virtualization is enabled...

So after all that, I figure out that I should probably just google my issue, which leads to me find out, it's just an issue with virtualbox, and simply running 'minikube config set vm-driver none', it fixes it, and I am now running minikube.............

Took half an hour of work, to realize that I'm a complete fucking idiot, who shouldn't be allowed near a computer

this.isrant = true

Visual studio YOU BITCH!

2 hours of struggling to enable VT-X for docker but never seeming to be enabled when I boot back from the BIOS, turns out the motherfucking IDE sneakily enables hyper-v when I install Windows phone SDK, which I apparently need for xamarin. Well Microsoft? GO FUCK YOURSELF. I ONLY USE YOU FOR THE SUPPORT! I hate Microsoft and it's sneaky background shit that I don't know about and would probably freak out about if I did. I'm swapping to Ubuntu with MSSQL and MonoDevelop ASAP

what the fuck is wrong with boomer professors ?? I enrolled in a front-end development elective at my uni in hopes to just brush up on some little things I may have missed on my self taught education.

this class has been an absolute tragedy. he spends about 1 hr each class trying to figure out how to configure docker... FOR A PROJECT THAT IS JUST BARE HTML CSS JS. WHY??? he is so adamant that we use DOCKER for this class. I don't understand why.

most of the students are BRAND NEW to front end development and know Jack shit. and here this professor is insisting on nuancing the class with docker. it makes absolutely no sense.

Docker, what the fuck are you storing?

Fuck, they updated the internal move policy in my company from 1 year 9 months to move to another team to be at least in the same team for 2 years.

I hope I can find a way to gtfo faster because I am honestly so tired of this shit, the tasks are getting too repetitive, my boss is useless, spends her time shopping instead of working and being stuck with a bunch of juniors means you only have the internet to learn something new.

I really want to start delving more into PAAS and start working with docker and kubernetes. Oh well, guess we'll have to wait and see.

When you're developing it's very well advised to run your software locally in an environment as much as possible matching the real environment.

So for example, if you're running linux on production then you also run it locally to run your code.

Here's where people need to shut the fuck up:

No, mac is not good for linux development. Not unless portability is already a concern that you have and even then it might be counter productive. So many times when people say this, portability isn't not a concern. What runs on servers is up to them.

If your servers are going to be centos, then you develop with centos. Not with debian, gentoo, ubuntu, maxosx, etc.

Even different linux distros are a headache for portability when it's just to support a few desktops for development so don't think that macosx is going to cut it. It might not be as radical a difference as between windows and linux traditionally is but it's still not good for "linux" development. I don't think people making that statement really know what linux is now how different distributions work.

What you use for your graphical operating system doesn't matter to much but when you run your code then there's a simple solution.

Another thing people need to shut up about. It's not docker, unless you're already in Linux where docker is one of many options such as chroot or lxc.

This question always comes up, how do you developer for linux in windows? No it's not docker it's virtual machine.

It's that simple. You download the ISO for the distro you want and then install it on a VM. What does docker for windows do? It runs a linux VM that runs docker.

This may come as a great shock to developers around the world but it is possible to run linux in a VM and then any linux application your want including docker.

Another option is to shove a box in the corner, install what you need on it, share the file system and have people use that to run their code. It really is that easy.

Docker swarm. All i want is a 'zero-downtime' system and everytime i try to set it up there's three damn things missing. Load balencer, service updater, and a good distributed storage. I finally got pissed off and am working on those but fuck it's been how fucking long docker has been out why the hell somebody else hasn't done this yet.

As you guys may or may not know (or may or may not give a fuck), I'm currently part-time studying to get a diploma and get the fuck out of my country. Since I have to write a 40-pages long "end of study dissertation" about something we personnaly have interest in, I decided to teach myself about DevOps.
In order to prepare it, I decided to get a Raspberry Pi, install Docker and Jenkins (as a container) on it, and handle my multiples websites on it, and build a huge fucking website around which I would write my dissertation about.
But man, I'm starting to loose hope, I get to bed at 2 AM every night because I'm trying to make some basic shit work until I realize that I just CAN'T what I want because of tons of reason, so I try to lower my expectations, and it's frustrating. Yesterday, a Ruby on Rails image I created was perfectly working, tonight MySQL throws an "host not authorized for this mysql server" error, and I don't know what the fuck is happening nor if I can do anything about it.

I love teaching myself new stuff, but I have to admit, it's waaay harder than I expected

FUUCCKKKK!! I need to hit smth. Or rant..

So that flaky ec2 issue.. These ec2s act as a shared environment for multiple apps. Our app is one of them. I have no access to those ec2s at all.

What I have access to is my app and some monitoring. Now the app randomly starts lagging while nearly idling. At the same random times monitoring stops completely and doesn't come back up. This happens to random app instances at random times.

Reached out to infra support, managed to get attention from the big boys [mgmt]. Today we got the fix deployed. I test it out -- problem persists.

I find this behaviour somewhat familiar. Managed to get some server stats from infra folks. Apparently cpu% is high as well as load avg [cpu queue]. Bingo! I know how to fix it!

So I write a long comment w/ all the commands and all the 'if that, do this'. Send it to one of the infra technitians

and I get a reply: 'we will apply cpu usage limitations to fix the issue'

wait... Cpu% limitations will do nothing but highlight the underlying problem...

'no, instances have high cpu utilisation which is causing those lags. We will limit cpu resources and it will be fixed'

oh ffs... Cpu utilization and cpu queue are VERY different things.. I tried explaining that to them like 7-9 times. And all I get is:

'yes, cpu utilization is the problem. We will limit it and solve the problem'

I would surely escalate all of this through higher channels if only I could get my hands on those ec2s and have a proof. But that is not happening and I'm forced to sit back and watch them break things even worse until they are out of options and mark my query as 'wont fix'....

Fuck that's frustrating....

*thinking to myself* so I've read about that new vulnerability 2 days ago that allows one to escape from docker container to the host... What if <...>

Dear Oracle,
why do I have to have an X server running for your stupid Oracle Database to install?
Why are you sometimes capable of writing good software like VirtualBox, and then fuck up simple tasks like creating a docker image for your fucking Database? (Seriously, try it, you will not be able to set up a simple Oracle Database using their official Dockerfiles)
Also, what makes you think that -4 is the "most appropriate exit status"?!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fuck you really hard you proprietary piece of shit!

Spent ten plus years professionally coding, used c, go , python, openwhisk ,docker, kubernetes and God know what else. Now I have to convince those team members who coded so far in their free time that write fucking clean code, avoid dependency on distributed and hard coded configuration, how to build a product
Fuck my life

Fucking fuck fuck fuck outdated superiors that know jack shit about how software development works. Dnt even know about git, docker, cloud services. Everything is done on premise with network that is fucking crap and when an app is down "hey why is it down?" ask the fucking server and network admin how the fuck am i supossed to know? i have to create workaround codes when other devs just need to deploy their app and its fucking running as it should be. why the fuck do i need to spend my time debugging Ping timeouts? im a fucking dev. I have done designs, analyze requirements, build frontend, backend, optimize codes, paying attention to security and now i have to fix network problems as well? fuck off

Create Innovation my fucking arse. you just Keep saying that but then wondering "what is this new thing youre trying? its new and different why do that?" because you asked for innovation you fuck. If i copied some other concept its not innovation is it pricks.

Fuck them and all the brown nosers as well.

How the fuck do I convince my company to use docker?

Yes its completely necessary to have a spring server with a mysql database with docker containers all over your ass for 3 fucking endpoints and a (url, varchar, varchar) schema. Fuck you. How the fuck do i run all this shit and how do you expect me to create a frontend for something that has no documented endpoints?? Fuck you.

In other news, im now a senior.

Don't forget, docker desktop will require paid licenses after 31/1/22

Docker Desktop remains free for small businesses (fewer than 250 employees AND less than $10 million in annual revenue), personal use, education, and non-commercial open source projects.

Just a friendly reminder to fuck docker and migrate to a better solution.

OK semi rant... Would like suggestions

Boss wants me to figure out someway to find the maximum load/users our servers/API/database can handle before it freezes or crashes **under normal usage**.

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WITH 1 PC? The question seems to me to mean how big a DDoS can it handle?

I'm not sure if this is vague requirements, don't know what they're talking about, or they think I can shit gold... for nothing... or I'm missing something (I'm thinking how many concurrent requests and a single Neville melee even with 4 CPUs)

"Oh just doing up some cloud servers"

Uh well I'm a developer, I've never used Chef or Puppet and or cloud sucks, it's like a web GUI, not only do I have to create the instances manually and would have to upload the testing programs to each manually... And set up the envs needed to run it.

Docker you say? There's no Docker here... Prebuilt VM images? Not supported.

And it's due in 2 weeks...

Golang's standard command line parsing library suuuucckkkkssss. But who the fuck writes command line apps any more? Everything has to be a fucking asynchronous daemon in a docker container orchestrated by kuberwhateverthefuck running in the ClOuD

I am scratching my head since 2 days cause a rather large Dockerfile doesn't work as expected.

CMD Execution just leads to "File not found".

Thanks, that's as useless as one ply toilet paper...

Whoever wrote the Dockerfile (not me…) should get an oscar...

Even in diarrhea after eating the good one day old extra hot china takeout from dubious sources I couldn't produce such a dumpster fire of bullshit.

The worst: The author thought layering helps - except it doesn't really, as it's a giant file with roughly 14 layers If I count correctly.

I just found out the problem...

The author thought it would be great to add the source files of the node project that should be built as a volume to docker... Which would work I guess....

Except that the author is a clueless chimp who thought at the same time seemingly that folder organization means to just pour everything into one folder....

Yeah. That fucker just shoved everything into one folder.

Yeeeeeesssssssss.

It looks like this:
source
docker-compose.mounts.yml
docker-compose.services.yml
docker-compose.yml
Dockerfile-development
Dockerfile-production
Dockerfile
several bash scripts
several TS / JS / config files
...

If you read the above.... Yes.
He went so far to copy the large Dockerfile 3 times to add development and production specific overrides.

I can only repeat what I said many times before: If you don't like doing stuff, ask for fucking help you moron.

-.-

*gooozfraba*

Anyways...

He directly mounts this source directory as a volume.

And then executes a shell script from this directory...

And before that shit was copied in the large gooozfraba Dockerfile into the volume.

Yeeeaaah.

We copy stuff inside the container, then we just mount on start the whole folder and overwrite the copied stuff.

*rolls eyes* which is completely obvious in this pit latrine of YML fuckery called Dockerfile.

As soon as I moved the start script outside the folder and don't have it running inside the folder that is mounted via volume, everything works.

Yeah.... Maybe one should seperate deployment from source files, runtime related stuff from build stuff.

*rolls eyes*

I really hate Docker sometimes. This is stuff that breaks easily for reasons, but you cannot see it unless you really grind your teeth and start manually tracing and debugging what the frigging fuck the maniac called author produced.

Anyone who says 'Docker is easy" should burn in hell.

Sure, It took me 5 minutes to run my project in docker container

Took another 25 to run multipl;e comntainers via compose

Now, 3 hours later, can't run compose from multiple Visual Studio solutions. Says "Pull failed"

No doc. No examples. No nothing.

I'll try for another hour or so, if not, fuck that docker shit. I'll go to Service fabric.

Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.

The fuck is up with venv, conda, pip, pip3, python3, CRYPTOGRAPHY_OPENSSL_NO_LEGACY and "you can't install packages in docker based environments" DUDE STOP WHAT THE FUCK

How the fuck is that the scripting language of choice? It has by far the most confusing and messy runtime setup. Like it's easier to make sense of Javas version-shenanigans than this bullshit.

And then you think well what gives. Runs > python ...
"This environment is externally managed and you can go kill yourself, JUST LOOK UP PEP-666" LIKE NO YOU FUCK, JUST RUN THE FUCKING SCRIPT!

It's nice you thought about separation of versions but DOCKRR DOCKER DOCKER THERE ARE CONTAINERS WHY THE FUCK DO YOU DO SOME BULLSHIT WITH ENVS IN FOLDERS REQUIRING SOME RUNTIME BULLSHIT WHAT NO STOP WWHYYY

docker, i don't have time to fuck around this morning

Me (new position): Hey, can I run this locally?

Other dev: No, it can only run through CI.

Me (exploring): Oh, I see. CI -> Docker -> Makefile -> Ansible -> Packer -> Terraform -> new EC2 image -> new EC2 host -> command.

Well fuck. That's not going to work locally.

Google acquired two interesting products companies last week.
One is making customizable phone apps from spreadsheets the other is gathering sales data from local shops.

appsheet and pointy

At this point I think they’re still missing code editor. Microsoft have visual studio and amazon as always was first and acquired c9.io when vscode was one year old.

How the fuck they missed the code that would run remotely on multiple machines should have ability to connect to one node with debugger after they fucked docker with their k8s.

So I made an update to my React Native app. I changed UI of a couple of screen, added a few animations here and there, refactored how my graphQL resolvers work in the backend(no breaking changes), changed how data gets loaded into the database etc.

It worked in dev so I figured hey let's deploy it. Today is(was because it's now 3am but more on that later) a national holiday so no one goes to work so no one will use my app so I have an entire day to deploy.

I started at 15:00(because i woke up at 13:00 lol). I tested the update once again in dev and proceeded to deploy it to prod. I merged backend to master, built docker images, did migrations on the db, restarted docker-compose with new images. And now for the app. I run ./gradlew assembleRelease and it starts complaining that react-native-gesture-handler is not installed. Ugh, rm -rf node_modules && yarn install. It worked. But now gradlew crashes and logs don't tell me anything. Google tells me to change a bunch of gradle settings but none of them work. Fast forward 5h, it's around 20:00 and I isolated the issue to, again, react-native-gesture-handler. They updated from 2.2.4 to 2.3.0 which didn't fucking compile. 2 more hours passed (now 22:00) and I got v2.3.1 working which fixed the problem in 2.3.0 but made my app crash on startup. YOUR FUCKING LIBRARY GETS 250K WEEKLY DOWNLOADS AND YOU DONT EVEN BOTHER CHECKING IF IT COMPILES IN PROD ON ANDROID?! WHAT THE FUCK software-mansion?

After I solved that, my app didn't crash. Now it threw an error "Type errors: Network Request Failed" every time I fetch my legacy REST API(older parts use rest and newer use graphql. I'll refactor that in the next update). I'll spare you the debugging hell i went through but another 5h passed. Its 3am. My config had misspelled url to prod but good for dev... I hate myself and even more so react-native-gesture-handler.

Task: Deploy MinIO in k8s cluster
Me: deploys the first docker image found on google: bitnami/minio
MinIO: starts

Me: log in
MinIO: Fuck you! There's a cryptic error: Expected element type <Error> but have <HTML>

Me: spends half a day trying out different vendors, different versions, different environments (works on local BTW)

Me: got tired, restored the manifest to what it was at the beginning. Gave it the last try before signing off

MinIO: works 100%

wtf... So switching it back and forth fixed the problem, whatever it was. Oh well, yet another day.

RAAAAAAH fuck fuck fucking shit!!! Fuck jest Typescript "on the fly" compilation esModuleInterop typeroots, missing definitions jest ts-ignore and xtest everywhere, manual npm linking with different pkg mgrs & pub to a private registry, building docker images locally and doing tag management across git, docker & kubernetes then cross fingers that prod which has 0 common setup with local & test somehow works, open architecture "tickets" and wait months before they resolve, then repeat ad infinitum. How the fuck can I be productive when I need to be all over the place all the time and deal with these meta-code shenanigans. I just wanna code, damned

I just noticed there are loads of docker memes out there on the web 😋 amusing

Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.

Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.

Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on.

If you ever wanted to, or needed to, fuck thyself over... Use the ros docker.

docker system prune as fuck

Mixing PHP and HTML code with a bunch of if-elses, creating a docker-compose script thats uses the remote database password (and its committed) and set API calls to IP fucking addresses with no explanation. Just make POST requests to undocumented APIs.

How the fuck are these people allowed to code?????

Installed centos 7, docker, standalone kubernetes on dev machine in 20 minutes.
Spend 8 hours starting fucking dashboard service, still no fucking luck, no fucking logs, nothing.
Fucking pending states without fucking explanation.
All the fucking pods are running fine except one fucking dashboard. I want to see the fucking dashboard.
Fucking shit fuck.
Probably as always if I clean the machine and reinstall everything it would start normally, without fucking problem.
Debugging fucking containers is so much pain in the ass, fuck.
I think it’s enough for today.

I just spent about 30h desperately trying to figure out why my Qradar API queries were not working while running in docker, but somehow worked when running locally. I was just minimally stressed because it's my bachelor thesis, which I need to turn in in 3 weeks and this basically nuked my whole planning.
So apparently docker requires you to set your own timezone, so my API queries were always querying data from an hour early, when the requested data did not exist yet....
It's 3PM and I need a drink, or maybe 10

Docker isn’t always the best solution...

Why the fuck open source solutions need to be such a load of bullcrap? I've spent a week trying to set up every single self-hosted video conference software, and the only thing I've got is a shorter lifespan.

How the fuck does your (judging by GitHub, well maintained) software only support Ubuntu 16.04? And I mean ONLY, there's no support for docker, or any other distro either, and we're only weeks from getting the second LTS since 16.04. And why the fuck does documentation tell me to manually go through 20 different config files just to enable SSL?

Why the fuck doesn't your official AWS cloudformation template include VPC or other required parameters? I've had to rewrite the whole thing just to get a valid stack you dipshit!

And how fucking hard is to make your software look decent, I can't expect clients to chat with me using something that looks like an incest child of 2003 MSN and eDonkey?

Oh, and it'd be fucking dandy if your documentation wouldn't return 404, maybe I'd be even able to test what your product has to offer?

I guess after everything I've tried I'll go with Jitsi; it seems the most decent, although it lacks some pretty basic features like limiting chat features for guests.

Starting my work day:

* fire up the build script wrapper script wrapping the Docker compose scripts, which starts I dunno 20 different microservices, frontend build processes, watchers, blah, blah, blah, chews my laptop's battery like a muthafukka, wait for 15 minutes, for maybe a 40% chance that maybe it'll work, or maybe I'll have to fix some random thing that's wrong out of the 20 million things that could possibly go wrong and then restart... and if I'm lucky at the end of all this, I get to work on, I dunno, adding some field to a modal?

Firing up my weekend side project:

* php -S and immediately start working productively every time

Fuck the "modern web"

After two weeks of struggling with Docker, I can confidently say, this is the worst shit I've ever worked with.

$ php bin/console make:migration
ERROR: php_network_getaddresses: getaddrinfo failed: Name or service not known

Well let's try again...

$ php bin/console make:migration
ERROR: Connection refused

Different error messages for the same commands?! FUCK YOU!!!

"this environment is externally managed"

yes, i know it is, please fucking install it

fuck you python and fuck you docker

tools for children

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Because of the amount of complaining I do at work concerning legacy php applications the HOD is trying to push for different technologies to use for backend services. We have met multiple times to discuss the proper way of handling the situation since there are a lot of very obvious things to consider regarding the push for a new tech stack. The typical names have come about, but my biggest issue will be training people for these stacks.

Testing environments with docker and so forth, push for CERTAIN applications to be more API centric and the use of better frontend frameworks that will remain standard for years to come(hard to bet on this one but I tend to orefer React) among other things are the topics of conversation.

Personally I would love to move the shop to something geared towards Golang, thing is, the lead dev is complaining about it saying that the training for a new language would just take time. After a couple of examples he is still not convinced.

I think its wrong of him to center himself on just PHP and JQUERY as the main development stack he uses and learning new things should be part of the job, I also have a case against the spaghetti code that results from just using vanilla php with no proper development practices(composer based systems, oop etc etc you get the gist)

In the end I am starting to think that it will become one of those "fuck off I am the boss" type of deal since I am going to be here after a long time and he has about 2 years before he medically retire.

Every fucking three days a group called ITO pushes new software to our development machines and fucks them all up. Gooosfraba.

I then spend two days fixing said fucked up machines and can develop code for one day before the cycle repeats. Usually they fuck up docker so don’t tell me docker is the answer.

I just got Jenkins all setup locally, setup the first pipeline, get docker working with it, setup the build step, setup the test step and more.

In under an hour.

Not too bad for the first attempt.

The hardest part was figuring out the GitHub credentials.

———

Actually, the hardest part was keeping an eye on the dude in the booth next to me who has delusions of grandeur and likely other mental illnesses.

Had to keep an eye on him while he was pointing around the room (usually at me) and saying shit like...

“Ugly, ugly, all of you are fucking ugly”

“Fuck you, fuck you too!”

I’m sitting over here thinking...

“Bud, you got 3 teeth, you smell like shit and your rambling to yourself... fuck you you ugly piece of dog shit! Let me do my work I peace.”

Fuck ruby. I've spent less time learning the ecosystems of java, golang, node, and docker combined compared to the shit ruby is flinging at me like some sort of deranged baboon

Took the dive and started learning kubernetes for the last 90 minutes or so. All I can say at this time... is... fuckin' hell m8!

It's some pretty damn cool tech and deconstructing the pieces to understand how to properly build on top of it has been interesting; to say the least.

but shit, man...

the amount of abstractions happening on top of docker/containerd are just asking for tons of problems hahaha. The last place I worked, we had a fair share of devs that either could not or would not bother with trying to understand docker and would constantly push code to the environments, shit would break, and then they'd come to my team and ask us to basically be human log parsers for them... how in the hell my last company is going to fare with trying to roll out kube is beyond me.

tl;dr - kubernetes has a buttload of moving targets and abstracts a metric-fuck-ton of stuff. Last company I worked for is gonna strugglepuff trying to use it.

TFW when you've been trying to figure out why your apparently flawless JPA database query won't return anything and realize you forgot to populate the database after setting up the docker-image....

Currently writing a long-ass new issue to the Docker/CLI repository, to tell them that their online documentation for the manifests is absolute garbage. I mean, a documentation is supposed to tell you how to run commands, not something like "Yeah you try it and maybe it'll work. No it's not the good format, you dumb fuck. Nice, bro, but if you check what changed... That's right, nothing changed. At all. For no reason. Keep trying, it's fun!"

Fuck you, Docker for Windows. Fuck. You.

Use docker they said...
Glorious containers they said...

FUCKING docker-for-windows, I HATE you, random freezes, "function not implemented"... the worst is that a restart works, but every 2 hours it's FUCKING UNBEARABLE FUCK YOU DOCKER CORP !

Fuck you Redis

Goes in a docker container, calls bgrewriteaof, get success, checks info - no pending writes, last write success.

Tries to scp to remote, fails - Unexpected AOF

Decides to shut down the local redis to be able to port, in case it's blocking it

Calls redis-cli shudown (expect to just shut redis down rigth)

It fucking deleted all my data, now I see the docs

"Flush the Append Only File if AOF is enabled."

Why the fuck? Fuck you redis, fuck you

Yesterday I tried to install virtualbox to be able to run gitlab-runner with a Docker executor locally. I completely fucked up. After a reboot, I'm not able to run GDM/gnome/cinnamon(segfault), so I have to run Xorg as root without any window manager, and it sucks. I have to work all day with this shitty config.

Fuck myself, Fuck Arch, I'm switching to manjaro

I have a small NUC-like machine in my home with an old external hdd connected to it. I use it to run my local gitlab, nextcloud and to test a few websites I build for the lolz.
If you too have a homelab, whether it's a single raspberry or an entire room full or racks, you know damn well that everything you have running locally as a web service keeps going until it doesn't, for whatever fucking reason. This time, it was the turn of my nextcloud.
The machine has arch linux running, I chose it since I already use it on my coding laptop and being a rolling release means I don't have to manually upgrade to a newer version, risking various fuck-ups and consequent screaming of profanity.
The downside is that arch is a bleeding-edge distro, so, despite being pretty good for what concerns security, as updates are pushed out some packages may still require legacy software to work as intended, since obviously not all developers for all packages can release simultaneously.
The problem was that php reached 8.2.x but nextcloud couldn't use anything beyond 8.1, so the highlighted solution was to download php-legacy, a package with a set of utilities which the cloud could use instead of mainline php.

Pretty easy, right? fuck my life, here we go.

I edited apache-httpd's configurations to link the new libraries, updated every reference in every virtual host that could possibly screw up the web server.

Done.

Then I went on and disabled the php-fpm mainline, creating a new systemd unit that would instead run the legacy executable and afterwards I edited nextcloud's additional configs so they use that instead.

Done, getting a bit dizzy, but I reboot everything and breathe.

At this point the migration should be complete, but wait, the server returns an error saying that the application is still trying to use php 8.2+...wait, what in the sysadmin Christ?

Back to nextcloud config, everything is set, everything else in every other fucking php-legacy and web server is fine, the old fpm service is disabled, I am confused, and why in the FUCKING FUCK is the new php-fpm unit failing to start at boot with "error 78/config - directory not found"? Hello? Am I being trolled by a shitty dual-core amazon fake NUC?
Maybe yes, cause it turns out that the unit was referencing a directory in the external hdd, which gets mounted at boot time after the unit itself starts, so nothing much, just a matter of tinkering with cron jobs, a reboot and at least this one is off my balls.

But why still isn't the server responding correctly? why? WHY?

After slamming my cock on the keyboard here and there scrolling back through all the config files I think to myself, hmmm, my gitlab is working flawlessly, well yeah, I didn't need to install the whole web stack, everything was nice and easy wrapped in a docker container...so why am I even here, why the fuck am I bothering with all this layered web-app bullshit, why don't I just run the up-to-date docker image that someone else has already set up for me, back up all the data and reupload them on the application?

Oh joy, you can't imagine, after 3...almost 4 hours of pure computer-touching the relief I had from seeing the blue web page with the "welcome to nextcloud" title.

Right now it's copying back all the files, and the external hdd is now linked to include the data folder.
Like really, everything was solved in two lines of bash.

I am still fuming, but at least I learned a valuable lesson, if you want a service up for yourself, implement it and deploy it as fucking easy straight-forward as you can, giving MAXIMUM priority to already fully-working options that are out there just waiting to be downloaded and used. I swing my scrotal sack on web-apps elegance as long as it's MY homelab in MY place.

Eat a fat dick php.

sudo pacman -Rns nextcloud
sudo systemctl disable --now php-fpm-legacy
sudo pacman -Rns php-legacy
sudo pacman -Rns $(sudo pacman -Qdtq)

Im implementing kafka with little to no theory understanding. Now that i have finally managed to implement it Perfrctly, even started kafka, zookeeper and kafka-ui through docker compose and it works perfectly in the backend app, i can finally now see the power this technology withholds, and now i have even more understanding of how it (approximately) works, and Now I'm more willing to learn the theory to understand it under the hood.

Does someone else find it much easier to fuck around and find out when learning something new before being overbloated with boring dry theory?

I fucking hate theory. Any kind of theory. Its boring as shit. But now that i have gone through practical implementation of this and can understand how powerful backend i can build with it, Now I'd have no problems learning theory

Making a hard switch to ubuntu on my desktop at home. Getting just a teeny tiny, tad, bit: absolutely fucking livid....

Trying to learn ansible, vagrant, and docker more in depth for both work and my personal projects. All that I’ve been doing is just spinning my wheels trying to figure out the stupid fuck-mothering quirks with running this shit on Windows. Yes you absolutely can use all of these tools on a Windows box. There’s plenty of ports, patches, and workarounds. But I have spent all day trying to build a few vagrant boxes and use ansible to set them up. Simple LAMP stack boxes on CentOS7. Nothing major... unfortunately I spent like 90-110 minutes trying to figure out why virtualbox wouldn’t run properly. Dumbass me forgot that I installed Hyper-V ages ago.

O...K.... whelp... hyperv provider it is...

Luckily it only took about 15 minutes to determine that Hyperv’s networking can’t be setup from vagrant because vagrant doesn’t know how to interact with the hyperv - vswitch. So networking config is ignored and all VMs run on default switch (NAT) which is annoying but workable.

Ran into other issues trying to stay SSH’ed into the VM. PowerShell core (6) ssh’es into the box perfectly fine, but every time I opened vi to edit configs my terminal color scheme and fonts got fucked harder than a 2 dollar hooker on nickel night.

I’m a bright-green text on black background kinda guy. However the terminal kept changing to bright-red text on white background! It was like getting skull-fucked by a minotaur.

After a while I said fuck it, let’s try putty. Vagrant was using it’s own ssh keypair for the boxes, at work on my mac. Works like a dream. Putty failed me hard and shit the bed, kept getting all kinds of keypair errors. At this point I was finished spent too long trying to make shit work correctly on this jankbox. With enough time and patience I probably could’ve figured all of these problems out. I’m certain that at least 70% of them were caused by user error. I’m known by many as the walking ID-10t.

But alas, I have no time left in the day to fuck around with shit that doesn’t work immediately for morons like myself. My only hang up for the longest time with a complete switch to Linux was gaming. But with Proton and WINE I’m comfortable with giving it the ol’ college try. (Shhhh, don’t remind me I dropped out of college...

...Thrice.)

The gamble here is that I’ll give more than 2 halves of a fuck about trying to get my games working. A Study environment and materials for certs and general training won’t be getting anywhere near my full attention.

So, at long last, I hope this attempt at a full *nix switch finally sticks!!!

👾

I've been using go for two days and I'm already pissed at it. Don't get me wrong, I like the language itself, I love the simplicity, the tooling and frameworks are the problem. Like, why does everything have to be so hard?

Why do I have to spend around 4 hours in total just to configure a fucking linter?

Why does everything have to live inside the fucking GOPATH?

Why the fuck can't I put a src/ folder in my project so I don't mix code with config files, docker files, etc?

Why the hell does documentation for frameworks/libraries/tools suck so much? Looking at you Gin and Gorm.

Why can't gin-swagger just find out what routes I have?

I must be either dumb or chosen the wrong frameworks and libraries, but the "development experience" I'm having sucks. Nothing works first try and documentation is shit and vague.

I want to like the language, but I can't, at least not if it's always going to be shit like this. Does it get better? Am I just a noob? Or should I just jump ship and look for something else?

Monday AM. Instead of building images in the backend i'll just make them in HTML and use a headless browser to screenshot them ! Sweet. Doable in a day and saves the rest of my week !

Friday afternoon. Crashes, browser failure, zombie processes, intermittent failure, docker failure with headless browser. Still not working well.

Why am I such a dumb fuck ?

My standard pattern for using 'time saving' things (frameworks, scripts, new technologies) seems to be:
1) Get excited by how easy <new thing> is to use.
2) Spend the next 12 hours trying to work out how to work with this new shit.
3) Realise I'm now further back than I started.

Today has been docker.

Easy to run my new Wildfly docker container.... can I find the IP address to connect to? Can I fuck.

!rant
Yesterday at 1:20 am, my first docker image build worked.

- I develop my software (a service in a micro-service architecture) in symfony
- I push it to bitbucket, CircleCI pull the code
- builds a new docker image
- Runs phpunit test using docker exec (lxc-exec, their docker exec doesn't work)
- If the test are successful, CircleCI push the image to hub.docker.com.

Took me hours to fix all the bugs and issues with this process. I feel so proud, yet soooooooooo tired fuck sakes.

I'll publish the template for everything,

- the Dockerfile for the perfect symfony2 image IMO (and I'll create a public symfony2 image)
- The circle.yml I used etc.

Give back to the community.

I love my job.

Hey look at these awesome features we offer in the new version!
*carefully upgrades servers*
*app runs smoothly for few hours*
(Docker container exited with code 137) x 100
OutOfHeapMemory errror
Another dev: "I can't see the data flowing through the pipeline"
Boss: "Hmm, why did we upgrade again?"
*checks jira issue for the software*
Bug Report #125 fixed in the next version.
Aha!
Fuck this shit!

How the fuck can someone say he's a "senior" sre, admin sys if he doesn't fucking know how to sign a docker image or even which docker image repository he uses!!!! How the fuck!!!! Now you just copy/paste a freaking co config and you're a sre?!?! He doesn't even know the difference between choreography and orchestration!!!!

Fuck!!!

PISSED.

Fucking Docker, for no fucking reason (no updates, no changes, etc), I tried booting it up following the morning ritual, and nope, ERR_EMPTY_RESPONSE when connecting to my current project (means I managed to connect but for some reason no data is sent). Nginx container doesn't yell about anything.

Everything around works. Accessing the container works. Even pinging my dev domain works. Why the fuck suddenly fucking Docker just **stops**?!

Restarted Hyper-V, updated laradock, recreated containers, disabled AcrylicDNS. NOPE.

"Fuck you Phlisg, I'm not in the mood today" <lunatic Docker is lunatic>

ARG.

>2 exams left till i never have to look at my college again
>Actually studying
>Boss wants me to fuck around with docker
>My vape just broke
>Gotta get an oil change in my car
>Pretty sure im gonna be sick

Fuck this week

God I HATE UNRAID! FUCK THIS PIECE OF JUNK

CRASHING EVERY FEW FUCKING HOURS

AND. I. CANT. EVEN. GET. A. FUCKING. LOG. FILE! LIKE WHAT THE HELL!

Oh, its sooo reliable they said, use Unraid they said, the docker support is amazing, they said...

FUCK IT! FUCK THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE!

I JUST WANT TO RUN PLEX AND SONARR ON ONE FUCKING MACHINE, AND UNRAID IS JUST LIKE: yeah, its a good time to crash now, YEET!

and its gone...

Wsl with docker. Wtf! Why don’t you work? Ops has destroyed my machine today. Time to drink.

I no longer give a fuck.

Two docker setups. The same image, the same config, the same startup script. In one setup it shows an error, in the other not. Fuck this shit.

I like docker. I think the technology is cool and I have a few ideas on how I can use it. But I sometimes think I'm too stupid to use it.

I'm currently trying to convert parts of my dev environment to use containers. But following tutorials on it confuses me and I get lost with it really quickly and get discouraged for a few days until I give it another try and fail again

Like fuck I already know I'm mediocre but this makes me feel like i should go into a manual labor field instead of software development

Fuck ubuntu 18.04 with their snap format. Yes it's good for things that ubuntu users need, like libreoffice or Chrome.

But GOD SAKE WHY DOCKER ?

21 days ago it was not even possible to modify daemon.json reliably xD

My company don't want to buy me a new computer: Im stuck with 2012 Dell. No kidding. And I am supposed to run 10+ docker containers all the time, plus java IDE.

Of course, I bought a new computer - by myself. Fuck my company. I don't have time for stupidity.

So i tried getting some games i play on windows to work with wine and steam.
After swearing and installing all the shitty dependencies it doesnt feel any good. And worst of all i knew not all games are going to work though.

As i wanted a good and portable setup i thought alright maybe this is going to be a good use case for docker. But its a pure nightmare to get everything running fine. At the end i gave up that shit.

So dual boot is still the only way for me to be able to play games without hacks and an unreasonable amount of work.

Using gpu passthrough to kvm is a pure nightmare too. I mean what the hack, the best way to use it is to have two fcking video cards?! And yeah the integrated intel shit graphics are no option.

I mean why the fuck is it even necessary to perform dirty hacks because the most game publishers dont give a fuck about linux.

Seriously it isnt that fucking hard! And Proton is a good step for some games, but only as a temporarily solution, that only exists because of shitty game publishers.

It is horrible, its 2020 and i still cant get fully independent from windows, no matter how hard i try.

Is it that fucking hard to add builds for linux to their shitty games?!

Jesus Christ, Docker Desktop for Mac is fucking garbage.

Did you start your containers with an alternate compose file? Well, fuck you, we are goddamn idiots who don't know what the fuck we are doing and our piece of shit GUI just doesn't know how the fuck to deal with that.

&& rant

spent all fucking day fucking around with my server. installed gitlab to mydynamicdns.service.com/gitlab. but, gitlab still handles requests at mydynamicdns.service.com/ but it's just a 404. couldn't figure out how to host anything else. fucked around with it for like 5 hours, tried installing some shit called passenger, but by that point, I had already fucked up my environment pretty good so that didn't work at all. spent like 3 more hours fucking with it.

fuck it. time to learn about virtualization. someone here suggested Proxmox. how exactly does it work? is it running a fully blown vm for each server or is it running something like docker under the hood? and does each server then have it's own IP address?

stupid docker creators. Why the fuck when something does not work it does no show errors. I had so much anger till idea came to head to ask on google does docker has logs and found it has - docker logs command. And I saw fucking errors and then I knew by them what to fix. Idiots, hide errors when runing docker-compose up, what are they smoking when creating docker.

And even after docker-compose up it showed done !! Done sounds as everthing went without fucking errrors!!!! But when running docker ps there was no such container! Because when running it - it was giving errors.

Dude ist sysadmin at server Pool hosting our app for the client.

Client: something minor is not working.

Dude: Let me just restart app, works at my windows laptop everytime or whatever.
*restarts app, hangs on entrypoint*

Dude: Dear client it's brocken.

Clients: *calls us in panic.*

Horus: Dear dude, when it hangs on startup consider to download an update because we fixed some issues with in theis area recently. Also maybe enlarge the docker compose timeout.

Dude: Still does not start up.

Horus: ok just call me on this Zoom link, then we can debug together.

Dude:...

Dude:...

Dude:...

Dude: oh i just saw it did startup mean while, it just took some time.

Fuck you dude, and your impatience!

Why the fzck do you release new features in your engine and change how port-mapping works but don't make your deployment tool compatible? I look at you docker!

I love docker swarm, but ffs can we finally get get real clients IP address inside? I am sick of the single point of failure fuck up, docker team!!!

Why the fuck doesn't Docker mount a volume unless the container is privileged? My host is not even Linux. What sort of privilege does a Linux container obtain on Windows when executed with --privileged?

If I was ten years younger I'd start writing my own wrapper for CIFS... Too old to care these days... Gen Z kids can find a way to run a privileged Docker container on AKS for me.

I've got a dev server where I run some test sites in WP using EasyEngine, because I want to get accustomed to WP in Docker.

It asked me to update, and I was like "sure". Now whenever I want to setup a website I get "easyengine couldn't create username"

I figured ok I'll use WordOps, which requires migrating from EasyEngine to it. I was like sure, and next thing I know the "migrated" websites that it was supposed to properly migrate automatically are down, and I can't get an SSL issues for my new site.

All threads on both issues don't help.

It was supposed to be a 5 minute job and it turned into 3 hours trying to troubleshoot. Now I'll spin up a DigitalOcean server and install a quick WP site.

Fuck both EasyEngine and WordOps <3

I thought EasyEngine would be cool but seeing the very limited community activity it's not worth the risk even having it in a dev environment.

Some really motivated guy.

He apparently wants to monitore his opensource application on his spare time.
His application is likely to have no users though.
But well, that guy looks like kinda montivated.

For professional purpose, guy already did monitore with newrelic.
Seems like he was not satisfied and switched to datadog 3 years ago.
But liking digging dirt, he migrated to self hosted telegraf/influx/grafana (which he likes to about)

Today that guy is not in his company but on his potatoe machine in the cloud. So he wants to be minimalistic, datadog should do.

Now you got it, random ff*** is me, on a weekend, a shinny saturday for that matter.
Actually now it is night.

Now let's start the fight.

I have datadog scripts!
But datadog be sneaky as well. datadog upgraded to v6 8=)
-> scripts ain't working. outdated.

I check the logs. Too bad!
-> datadog removed dogstatsD.log in v6!

Well I have nothing to do in my life it is too cold outside as they say. I read the (sluggy) datadoc and tries some shell command (given in doc) to upload some events to dogstatsd (via udp).
-> Nothing happens, neither in local nor in remote.

ok maybe command not up to date, so let me try some official library. datadog from python. Feels like a nice try!
-> only available for python >= 3.5. 3.4 on my good ol' jessie. Upgrading os for datadog not acceptable.

Maybe dogstatsD not started... doc says it is by default, but well, not the first time doc is wrong... I put datadog as log verbose. Guess what: as per standard: shitload of error.

Digging... kubexx, docker and whatsoever apparently preventing collector to do its normal stuff
np, I am gonna check that on github! Goog, people have the same errors. They seem to fix it by trying some settings, with. or without luck
-> I am not that warrior to check every stuff

Ok, let's stop the datadog events, it works. It does not anymore. You know that sentence. We all know it.

Still not enough!

How about testing that uber super nice feature of v6. The logs. After all I want to make events out of my applicative logs.
How about reading the log again. Configure the yaml log as they say. Done. Make some pattern. Read the best practive. Done. Configures the yaml. Done. Now testing.
-> remote datadog interface be like: no logs for you dude you need to pay

ff***f*f*f

Fuck datadog, fuck that v6 version, good old tail -Fxx | someaggreate.js|sendmail will do...

Why in the fuck does everyone expose specific ports in Dockerfiles?

If I wanted to expose the port, I would fucking expose it.

Currently can't run my home infra platform because I'm running two separate instances of Maria DB on the same private internal network. These are two databases for two separate applications.

Why don't I run them on one? Because they're two separate fucking applications.

Why the fuck can I not do this when I used to be able to do it a week ago.

Stop exposing your fucking ports in your fucking Dockerfiles.

This shit is getting so bad, I'm just about to throw my towel in on all fucking containers and just install everything in multiple VM environments.

I am God damn appalled that after 8 years of using docker, core concepts like a port exposure is being leveraged as a way to somehow circumvent poor security practices.

You want a secure container environment? Expose your own goddamn ports.

Fuck you Maria DB, and fuck you docker.

I have been working on a long time, low progress project of mine that keeps on giving and giving.

Let's begin like two years ago where I dipped my toes into "more then gigabit" networking thanks to a Linus Techtips video about infiniband.
I had the dream of booting my Workstation from my NAS, a so called diskless setup.

Well, since I run FreeNAS on my Nas , a very nice Freebsd based Nas OS, everything's gonna be good.

In the beginning, there was no infiniband support.
Turns out, you don't need it, since the mellanox CX2 nics can do ETH too.
Yay.
Just took me a few weeks of anger.

So, to be able to boot something over the network, you need firmware that finds the bookable stuff and loads it.
That protocol and firmware is called PXE.
PXE needs a DHCP telling it what to do, and what is where and etc.

Freenas here I come! Installing dnsmasq on the actual freenas install turned out to be not that great of an idea because freenas thinks of itself as being an "appliance" that you don't fiddle with. So things work, until you update/ upgrade when everything will basically be wiped, except what you have done through the ui.
Ok. So I gona use a jail, a container like thing for that.
Everything is great, jail has internet, everything Installs fine, what could go wrong?
Dnsmasq can launch and work, but not as dhcp server. Some thing about permissions.
Turns out, jails have permission like things.
A few days of head scratching later, it has ALL the permissions.
Dnsmasq still can't work as DHCP server though, why you ask?
Because it needs a specific kernelmodule that isn't contained in the jail. Since jails are kind of like a docker container, they run on the same OS kernel, who does not have this module, I'd need to patch the freenas, which is an appliance, so fuck that.

Like a year later, freenas has finally added good VM support, so why not make a VM for the dhcpserver?

Well, about a year ago, I didn't know that the virtual Intel nic is a fucken unstable piece of garbage, crashing nearly any OS at some point.

So that was it for a while again.

Now to the last few weeks.
Finally dnsmasq is running in a freebsd VM with a good and working configuration which is rather simple, if those tutorial fuckers out there would explain shit instead of just telling you to copy, paste and replace X.

Now back to the PXE side.
I'm using iPXE because I have no clue how to boot anything over tftp so iSCSi it is, since that is what I can relate too.
The idea behind iscsi is to fake a SCSI disk over the network. Attached devices appear as if they are actually directly connected to the machine instead of over the network.

iPXE gets a lease from the server, can connect to it, everything is fucken great. Finally.
Except that if it "sanBoots" the iscsi drive, it can't find anything to boot.
Well fuck.
If I attach a Linux live USB over iscsi, it boots, finds grub, and crashes because the live iso isn't configured for network-boot.
But it boots.
So what's so different?

Well iPXE is booted in legacy mode, where as the content of the target is windows 10 in efi mode.
Ffff.

Ok. Can I get iPXE to boot in EFI mode?

Well yes, after like 3 days fiddling with it.
But it only finds the onboard Intel nic instead of the new Mellanox CX3 cards, and can't even connect to the target....

Sooo, I guess my options are as follows.
Either, get PXE efi to work on the network cards directly, its called flexboot and might be able to since I just found some firmware options for that.

Or give up on efi and install windows in legacy mode.
Which isn't that easy when it has to end up on a drive on my nas.

god dammit docker.