A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Yesterday, in a meeting with project stakeholders and a dev was demoing his software when an un-handled exception occurred, causing the app to crash.

Dev: “Oh..that’s weird. Doesn’t do that on my machine. Better look at the log”
- Dev looks at the log and sees the exception was a divide by zero error.
Dev: “Ohhh…yea…the average price calculation, it’s a bug in the database.”
<I burst out laughing>
Me: “That’s funny.”
<Dev manager was not laughing>
DevMgr: “What’s funny about bugs in the database?”
Me: “Divide by zero exceptions are not an indication of a data error, it’s a bug in the code.”
Dev: “Uhh…how so? The price factor is zero, which comes from a table, so that’s a bug in the database”
Me: “Jim, will you have sales with a price factor of zero?”
StakeholderJim: “Yea, for add-on items that we’re not putting on sale. Hats, gloves, things like that.”
Dev: “Steve, did anyone tell you the factor could be zero?”
DBA-Steve: “Uh...no…just that the value couldn’t be null. You guys can put whatever you want.”
DevMgr: “So, how will you fix this bug?”
DBA-Steve: “Bug? …oh…um…I guess I could default the value to 1.”
Dev: “What if the user types in a zero? Can you switch it to a 1?”
Me: “Or you check the factor value before you try to divide. That will fix the exception and Steve won’t have to do anything.”
<awkward couple of seconds of silence>
DevMgr: “Lets wrap this up. Steve, go ahead and make the necessary database changes to make sure the factor is never zero.”
StakeholderJim: “That doesn’t sound right. Add-on items should never have a factor. A value of 1 could screw up the average.”
Dev: “Don’t worry, we’ll know the difference.”
<everyone seems happy and leaves the meeting>

I completely lost any sort of brain power to say anything after Dev said that. All the little voices kept saying were ‘WTF? WTF just happened? No really…W T F just happened!?’ over and over. I still have no idea on how to articulate to anyone with any sort of sense about what happened. Thanks DevRant for letting me rant.

This is a fun conversation I had:

Test Engineer: 😑 The test bench burst into flames.
Me: 😪😲 Do what now?
TE: 😐 The test bench burst into flames. It made a pretty impressive fire ball.
Me: 😮 . . . How are you so calm about this?
TE: 😐 Well it's not on fire now.
Me: 😶 Good point.
TE:😧 made me mad as hell though.
Me: 😕 why's that?
TE: 😬 Cuz I only had one damn step left in that test procedure and it was to turn the damn test bench off.
Me: 🤔 Correct me if I'm wrong but the test bench is off is it not?
TE: 😐 Well yeah.
Me: 🤔 and you caused it to be turned off by your actions no?
TE: 😕 . . . yeah . . .
Me:🤔 sounds like you turned it off to me.
TE: 😒
Me: 🙂
TE: 😐
Me: ☺
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😐 but it won't turn on again.
Me: 🤔 do you have a requirement to be able to turn it on again after you turn it off?
TE: 😑 It's implied.
Me: 😐 not what I asked
TE: 😧 No not explicitly.
Me: 😎 sounds like you completed the test procedure.
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😑
Me: 😎
TE: 😧 that's not how it works.
Me: 😎 doesn't it?
TE: 😑 No.
Me:😎
TE: *walks away* 😧😧😧
Me: *turns back to computer* well I was just trying to help YOU out 😒

I am the best at interpersonal communication.

Me: *opens a terminal in front of parents and starts a build script from command line. Logs start rapidly flooding the screen*

Mom: *whispers to dad proudly* “look at how much she has worked. Look how fast the lines are running on the screen!!

I didn’t wanna burst their bubble by explain them that their child is NOT doing any rocket science, and is something even they can do(maybe better).
So I responded back with a fake serious tone
“Yeah it’s all code.”
If only they knew what I was actually doing...

So I picked up my little brother (6th grade) from school.

Him: We had computer hour
Me: Cool what did you do?
Him: We programmed a game
Me: That's cool. In what language did you program?
Him: English

I burst out in laughter because I didn't expect that answer.

I know I should have asked the question better.

After that I found out that they used scratch.

Years ago I was an application developer at a medium sized corporation and was also responsible for support for an HR department. This occurred early one morning shortly after I arrived at work.

User: My app doesn't work.
Me: What's wrong with it?
User: I just get a blank screen.
Me: A blank screen? What happens when you hit a key?
User: Nothing.
Me: Do any apps work?
User: No, I just get a blank screen.
Me: Is your monitor on?
User: Yes, I turned it on.

This type of witty banter went on for several minutes when the answer suddenly hit me.

Me: Is your computer turned on?
User: Do I need to turn it on?
Me: Did you turn it off before you went home last night?
User: Yes.
Me: And do you normally turn it on in the morning when you come in?
User: Yes.
Me: Then why didn't you turn it on this morning when you came in?
User: I didn't know I needed to.

It was at this point I heard the programmer over the cubicle wall from me burst out laughing. He had been listening to the conversation and couldn't take it anymore.

The really sad part is that this was not an isolated incident. This kind of stuff occurred on a semi-regular basis with this individual's department.

After my previous PC bursting into flames when I changed my input voltage to 120v on the power supply my dad never bought me one again this happened when I was aged 12. I was so much in love with computers that I would visit my friends who had ones at home and not leave till their moms asks me to. I remember collecting my lunch money and buying a Pentium 4 mb for dog cheap at a local store and as soon as I plugged in the mb short-circuited and died (I had the other parts as I was scavenging the junk yard for them). I'll never forget the moment I burst into tears seeing my hopes for a PC dieing. So after all the years passing when I was 16 I spent my whole summer vacation working in a construction site doing so much heavy work. There were days that my body couldn't bear and I just fell but somehow by the end of that summer I managed to collect enough money to assemble this 3rd gen dual-core. This is my baby. I'm using it till this date.
**Sorry about the bad English

In my college days i was designing a bootloader for avr microcontroller , i had the idea to flash code wirelessly to avr over bluetooth and also cross compile the compiler for android device so that you can code on android, every thing went well just one thing didn't, i saw that code of certain size is executing properly , greater than that size gives me wired outputs so i have to dump hex from the avr (that is flashed the by bootloader) and compaire it with the original hex of code it got messy as you can see, most fun part of this bug is that error can be anywhere cross compiler may be fucked up , the bootloader may be fucked up , or it may be my bluetooth module , after 14 hours of staring at the hex code i figured out the mess in bootloader instruction that was changing the page address for flashing .

when it worked it was 3am in night i literally burst into tears of joy next day bought myself a cake to celebrate

Navy story continued.
And continuing from the arp poisoning and boredom, I started scanning the network...
So I found plenty of WinXP computers, even some Win2k servers (I shit you not, the year was 201X) I decided to play around with merasploit a bit. I mean, this had to be a secure net, right?
Like hell it was.
Among the select douchebags I arp poisoned was a senior officer that had a VERY high idea for himself, and also believed he was tech-savvy. Now that, is a combination that is the red cloth for assholes like me. But I had to be more careful, as news of the network outage leaked, and rumours of "that guy" went amok, but because the whole sysadmin thing was on the shoulders of one guy, none could track it to me in explicit way. Not that i cared, actually, when I am pissed I act with all the subtleness of an atom bomb on steroids.
So, after some scanning and arp poisoning (changing the source MAC address this time) I said...
"Let's try this common exploit, it supposedly shouldn't work, there have been notifications about it, I've read them." Oh boy, was I in for a treat. 12 meterpreter sessions. FUCKING 12. The academy's online printer had no authentication, so I took the liberty of printing a few pages of ASCII jolly rogers (cute stuff, I know, but I was still in ITSec puberty) and decided to fuck around with the other PCs. One thing I found out is that some professors' PCs had the extreme password of 1234. Serious security, that was. Had I known earlier, I could have skipped a TON of pointless memorising...
Anyway, I was running amok the entire network, the sysad never had a chance on that, and he seemed preoccupied with EVERYTHING ELSE besides monitoring the net, like fixing (replacing) the keyboard for the commander's secretary, so...
BTW, most PCs had antivirus, but SO out of date that I didn't even need to encode the payload or do any other trick. An LDAP server was open, and the hashed admin password was the name of his wife. Go figure.
I looked at a WinXP laptop with a weird name, and fired my trusty ms08_067 on it. Passowrd: "aaw". I seriously thought that Ophcrack was broken, but I confirmed it. WTF? I started looking into the files... nothing too suspicious... wait a min, this guy is supposed to work, why his browser is showing porn?
Looking at the ""Deleted"" files (hah!) I fount a TON of documents with "SECRET" in them. Curious...
Decided to download everything, like the asshole I am, and restart his PC, AND to leave him with another desktop wallpaper and a text message. Thinking that he took the hint, I told the sysadmin about the vulnerable PCs and went to class...
In the middle of the class (I think it was anti-air warfare or anti-submarine warfare) the sysad burst through the door shouting "Stop it, that's the second-in-command's PC!".
Stunned silence. Even the professor (who was an officer). God, that was awkward. So, to make things MORE awkward (like the asshole I am) I burned every document to a DVD and the next day I took the sysad and went to the second-in-command of the academy.
Surprisingly he took the whole thing in quite the easygoing fashion. I half-expected court martial or at least a good yelling, but no. Anyway, after our conversation I cornered the sysad and barraged him with some tons of security holes, needed upgrades and settings etc. I still don't know if he managed to patch everything (I left him a detailed report) because, as I've written before, budget constraints in the military are the stuff of nightmares. Still, after that, oddly, most people wouldn't even talk to me.
God, that was a nice period of my life, not having to pretend to be interested about sports and TV shows. It would be almost like a story from highschool (if our highschool had such things as a network back then - yes, I am old).
Your stories?

Citizens are advised not to cover their Webcams and Mic ports by scotch tape or anything else, as the devices might get heated and may sometimes even burst.

Cooperation is expected from everyone.
Have a nice day :)

My boss is a grumpy 25 year oldish "Mr. I know it all". We all hate him for that attitude.
Just joining recently, the code base which I got introduced to was totally new and I was overwhelmed.
Boss told me to write an Sql query to wipe the table data. I being reckless wrote a query to wipe the table only and submitted it to my boss.
Few hourse later we were informed by our peers that a certain url was not working. On further investigating we found out that my boss carelessly copy and pasted my query and executed it which wiped an important table clean.
Now he doesn't talk to me straight and I can't look him in the eye because obviously I burst into laughter.
Job well done☺️

So today, our "senior tester" logged a bug because he "Viewed Page Source" on the web based report he's testing and the Year values are hard coded! So 2017 will have to added manually!
I burst out laughing so hard, all my colleagues think I'm having a mental breakdown.

A Developer is desperate: his java application servers are unresponsive, thousand of dead zombie threads are sucking all cpus, memory is leaking everywhere, garbage collector has gone crazy, the cluster sessions are fucked....

The Developer goes to the closest bridge, ties a stone to his neck and gets ready to jump.

Suddenly a bearded old man with a fiery look runs toward him, yelling:
- stop stop!!!! Your application is not scaling and misconfigured, your servers are melting, cpu usage is not sustainable anymore, but don't despair

The Developer, puzzled, looks at him:
-I've never seen you...how do you know...
- Hey, man, I'm the Devil. I know everything. All your problems are solved. I'll give you magic functions. They are called Lambda.
You'll never have to worry about your servers, scalability, security, configuration and shit.

The Developer seems astonished but relieved:
- Ok, sounds great! let's try it - suddenly suspicion creeps in - hmmmm but you are the Devil....so...you want something back, don't you?
(the Devil nods lightly with a diabolic smile)
- ...and...you want my soul, I guess...
- your soul??? come on!!! - the Devil burst in a laugh - we are in 2019. I don't care about your soul. I want your ass.
- What!???!!!?
- yes, I want to fuck your ass

The Developer, evaluates quickly the situation.
Few moments of pain or slight discomfort (?) in exchange for magic lambda. It could be worth. He accepts.

After a while of rough anal fucking, the devil asks
- Hey, how old are you anyway?
- 45, why?
- Oh jeeez...45!!!??? and you still believe in the devil?

When you get so excited you burst out signing "🎶MY CODE IS ON FIRE🎶"(Alicia keys "this girl is on fire" reference) forgetting your in a room with your fellow developers.....

5 minutes later there still laughing

Yesterday the web site started logging an exception “A task was canceled” when making a http call using the .Net HTTPClient class (site calling a REST service).

Emails back n’ forth ..blaming the database…blaming the network..then a senior web developer blamed the logging (the system I’m responsible for).

Under the hood, the logger is sending the exception data to another REST service (which sends emails, generates reports etc.) which I had to quickly re-direct the discussion because if we’re seeing the exception email, the logging didn’t cause the exception, it’s just reporting it. Felt a little sad having to explain it to other IT professionals, but everyone seemed to agree and focused on the server resources.

Last night I get a call about the exceptions occurring again in much larger numbers (from 100 to over 5,000 within a few minutes). I log in, add myself to the large skype group chat going on just to catch the same senior web developer say …
“Here is the APM data that shows logging is causing the http tasks to get canceled.”

FRACK!

Me: “No, that data just shows the logging http traffic of the exception. The exception is occurring before any logging is executed. The task is either being canceled due to a network time out or IIS is running out of threads. The web site is failing to execute the http call to the REST service.”

Several other devs, DBAs, and network admins agree.

The errors only lasted a couple of minutes (exactly 2 minutes, which seemed odd), so everyone agrees to dig into the data further in the morning.

This morning I login to my computer to discover the error(s) occurred again at 6:20AM and an email from the senior web developer saying we (my mgr, her mgr, network admins, DBAs, etc) need to discuss changes to the logging system to prevent this problem from negatively affecting the customer experience...blah blah blah.

FRACKing female dog!

Good news is we never had the meeting. When the senior web dev manager came in, he cancelled the meeting.

Turned out to be a hiccup in a domain controller causing the servers to lose their connection to each other for 2 minutes (1-minute timeout, 1 minute to fully re-sync). The exact two-minute burst of errors explained (and proven via wireshark).

People and their petty office politics piss me off.

So, this dumb roommate of mine (graduated in CS) comes one day and says..
"Ruby on Rails was developed for the railways!"
And he was serious not joking. Fking serious!

I almost burst my brain nerve laughing that day!! 😂

P.s. I'm changing roommates this session.

A previous co-worker (dev) bought a "foot mouse" he found on a Chinese website, then changed his keyboard's layout to match the "natural human cognitive ability" also bought a sleeping bag because he needed a "power nap" after lunch break he even asked our MD to buy him an ergonomic chair which would cost around 1200 USD ( of course our MD refused) then the worst of the worst, he had this habit of chewing his food loudly when he's eating something he likes.
One time our operations manager (she was pregnant XD) screamed at him from her desk " RAYAAAAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE DAMN IT"

He literally spilled some of the food he was chewing on his desk and I burst out laughing like crazy.
On the same day our MD told us to follow a new "no food in office" policy 😂😂😂

Sad story is that when he left the company I had to revert his PC to how it was including resetting the keyboard layout to default, remember his "foot mouse" ? Well he had to modify the mouse settings so all directions were inverted.

The first thing I said when I turned on his laptop was

FUCK YOU RAYAN!!

Another fresh 'web design.' This bubble is never going to burst.

I told a so called "Software Engineer" not to touch the keyboard before she knows the difference between '/' and '\' in Windows Command Prompt. She burst into tears and has not spoken to me since then

College can be one of the worst investments for an IT career ever.

I've been in university for the past 3 years and my views on higher education have radically changed from positive to mostly cynical.

This is an extremely polarizing topic, some say "your college is shite", "#notall", "you complain too much", and to all of you I am glad you are happy with your expensive toilet paper and feel like your dick just grew an inch longer, what I'll be talking about is my personal experience and you may make of it what you wish. I'm not addressing the best ivy-league Unis those are a whole other topic, I'll talk about average Unis for average Joes like me.

Higher education has been the golden ticket for countless generations, you know it, your parents believe in it and your grandparents lived it. But things are not like they used to be, higher education is a failing business model that will soon burst, it used to be simple, good grades + good college + nice title = happy life.

Sounds good? Well fuck you because the career paths that still work like that are limited, like less than 4.

The above is specially true in IT where shit moves so fast and furious if you get distracted for just a second you get Paul Walkered out of the Valley; companies don't want you to serve your best anymore, they want grunt work for the most part and grunts with inferiority complex to manage those grunts and ship the rest to India (or Mexico) at best startups hire the best problem solvers they can get because they need quality rather than quantity.

Does Uni prepare you for that? Well...no, the industry changes so much they can't even follow up on what it requires and ends up creating lousy study programs then tells you to invest $200k+ in "your future" for you to sweat your ass off on unproductive tasks to then get out and be struck by jobs that ask for knowledge you hadn't even heard off.

Remember those nights you wasted drawing ER diagrams while that other shmuck followed tutorials on react? Well he's your boss now, but don't worry you will wear your tired eyes, caffeine saturated breath and overweight with pride while holding your empty title, don't get me wrong I've indulged in some rough play too but I have noticed that 3 months giving a project my heart and soul teaches me more than 6 months of painstakingly pleasing professors with big egos.

And the soon to be graduates, my God...you have the ones that are there for the lulz, the nerds that beat their ass off to sustain a scholarship they'll have to pay back with interests and the ones that just hope for the best. The last two of the list are the ones I really feel bad for, the nerds will beat themselves over and over to comply with teacher demands not noticing they are about to graduate still versioning on .zip and drive, the latter feel something's wrong but they have no chances if there isn't a teacher to mentor them.

And what pisses me off even more is the typical answers to these issues "you NEED the title" and "you need to be self taught". First of all bitch how many times have we heard, seen and experienced the rejection for being overqualified? The market is saturated with titles, so much so they have become meaningless, IT companies now hire on an experience, economical and likeability basis. Worse, you tell me I need to be self taught, fucker I've been self taught for years why would I travel 10km a day for you to give me 0 new insights, slacking in my face or do what my dog does when I program (stare at me) and that's just on the days you decide to attend!

But not everything is bad, college does give you three things: networking, some good teachers and expensive dead tree remnants, is it worth the price tag, not really, not if you don't need it.

My broken family is not one of resources and even tho I had an 80% scholarship at the second best uni of my country I decided I didn't need the 10+ year debt for not sleeping 4 years, I decided to go to the 3rd in the list which is state funded; as for that decision it worked out as I'm paying most of everything now and through my BS I've noticed all of the above, I've visited 4 universities in my country and 4 abroad and even tho they have better everything abroad it still doesn't justify some of the prices.

If you don't feel like I do and you are happy, I'm happy for you. My rant is about my personal experience which is kind of in the context of IT higher education in the last ~8 years.

Just letting some steam off and not regretting most of my decisions.

I, my dev friend and a non dev friend were having a deep Philosophical chat
NDF - while we are here on earth, we should give something back to the mankind
DF - Yeah man! (sarcastically pointing at me) But this guy never gives anything to anybody
Me - Oh I have contributed a lot to the mankind. You should check my github profile.

Needless to say two of us burst out laughing while one was giving blank stare.

## 4 years ago:
- Principal Architect: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: IDK, let's test it!
*we run tests*
- Perf team: results are OK, but we're exhausting Burst IO capacity, effectively hard-limiting number of tests we can run per day
- PArch: ahhh, I see. Then Gp2 is a no-go.

## 3 years ago
*PArch quits. New one is hired*
- PArch2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- PArch2: I see. Let's test it again anyway
- Perf team: *wtf???*
*we run the same tests, we get the same results*
- PArch2: I see, so GP2 is a no-go.
- Perf team: *you think....? How did that thought never cross our minds, we wonder...*

## 2 years ago
*new DBA is hired*
- DBA2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- Perf team: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- PArch2: We've already tested that a while ago, results were THIS and THAT
- DBA2: I see. Let's test it anyways. I've read somewhere that GP2 might be a better bet
- PArch2: you might be right, let's do that
- Perf team: *wtf???*
*we run the same tests, we get the same results*
- DBA2: I see, so GP2 is a no-go.
- Perf team: *you think....? How did that thought never cross our minds, we wonder...*

## 1 year ago
*DBA manager left; new one was hired*
- MGMT_dba2: We are using IO1 storage type. What if we used GP2?
- ........

Should we even bother bringing up the history.....?

This god damned fucking group Project in University!
How did 2 of these stupid as shit ballsacks of useless crap even manage to get through the first 4 semesters?
And now they can't contribute to anything. Or even worse is when they do contribut and mess up everything. Its like trying to play chess with a god damn bird.
Now this fucking project is robbing me of my sleep and the fucking idiots that organize the whole damn thing don't even care about that it's basically just me and one other guy carrying the fucking project.
Stupid theoretic computer science people that get to use as as slaves for their resarch because we "need to get some experience".
If I get anymore fucking experience of how a big software production works I'm going to fucking murder someone...
Verdammtes Arschgeigengesöcks.
Diese schwanzlutschenden Pferdgefickten Eiterwichsende Hurrensöhne.

I fucking shit Blood because I'm in too much stress. And I mean that literally. My fucking asshole burst open because I fucking have to deal with you dirty disgusting scumbags.

Story time!

About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.

I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
I smiled.
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."

I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.

Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.

Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!

!dev

Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.

Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂

The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.

Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.

According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?

But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂

Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!

It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.

Best work prank?

Get a random friend to burst into my home office during a zoom call, wearing a ski mask, gun in hand, speak foreign language, and drag me out of the room. Have another masked friend go up the camera and threaten to kill me if my coworkers go to the police. Disappear for a week, then email my boss saying I need 100k or they’ll start killing my family members one by one, take the money, then go on vacation while I fill out job applications. Get a new job and repeat the prank every few months until I retire.

Fuck you and your bullshit Teams meetings.
I hope you die a painful and slow death while your servers burst in flames and you hang yourselves.
You schedule 4 of them, then bitch about how developers aren’t getting any work done.
Maybe if you didn’t suffocate them with your bullshit meetings they would.
I am looking forward for the contract to expire or in this project so I can finally get some peace.

Fuck your stupid meetings. You deserve to be arrested and shot by the Gestapo (or KGB, whichever you find more evil).

My code is not working, why?

Where has Sublime Text been my whole RegEx life?
Nobody burst my bubble.

What's ur take? Will the bubble burst?

I have rather been enjoying MS Visual Studio Code of late. Ten years ago when I was deep in my Linux phase the thought of anything Microsoft would make me burst into flames.

Question - Am I now evil, having turned my back on sublime text, atom and a plethora of other editors?

#prank

New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.

He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.

Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.

He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.

It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.

When working with hardware some mistakes can be literally painful. Thankfully this was all during undergrad and I'm only around computer hardware now lol.

>Misprogrammed a software kill switch so a sensor that should not have been sending data was actually sending data which caused the system to activate a piston that went WHAM! into the face of a teammate working on replacing some part of it...

>Misprogrammed a controller so it drew too much power from the supply and the puny supply wires literally burst into flame and fell across my arm.

>Spun a 9000rpm CNC spindle the wrong way and caused an attached screw to go rocketing upwards instead of downwards and almost break the (pretty expensive) thing (uh...we were trying to use it as a power screwdriver essentially but I set the rpm to about 100x what I wanted and the direction wrong so yeah).

>Switched a -1 with a +1 in a robot's control system sending it careening into a teammate's leg... let's just say mecanum wheels are paaaainful.

Not a rant. Just a story.

So two weeks ago, a cat gave birth to two beautiful kittens in our balcony. We started giving milk to the mother and sometimes inviting the family to our house. The kittens are naughty charming. The mother sits for hours and sometimes sleeps while watching us do our chores (watching movies, coding, etc.)

Now, we live in New Delhi and Wednesday was Diwali. The family was playing in the balcony and we had to go out. So we locked the balcony door and went to have fun with friends. We didn't realize that people would burst firecrackers which could scare the cats. When we returned, the mother was very scared and (kind of) screaming. One of the kittens was missing!! We live on the fourth floor and I got scared too. We searched using a flashlight but there was no sign of kitten. After 30 minutes of search, We gave up. I assumed the kitten jumped from the balcony and might be dead. I tried to sleep but could not. Around 4 AM in the morning, I heard some noise. When I opened the door, the second kitten was there. Her mom was scolding (or so it seemed). It was a moment of joy.

Thought of sharing. This family has become our friends. Now I realize how cats are good companions.

Ugh I'm getting so owned. Currently having a burst DDOS on a host of ours. It is always at xx:00 and xx:30 for ~2 minutes from ~200++ unique AWS instances (Ip's).

Not long enough to ban them (max 2-3 requests per IP), not general enough to ban them on the type of request.. and the IP's.. yea... It would result banning all the amazon subnets which is also not an option lol.

Now waiting I guess.. I sent an email to amazon

!rant

Today was a lot. I heard water outside and some shouting, come to find out the upstairs neighbor’s pipe burst. Spent the next hour or two collecting as much water as possible in the coolers we have to try to move it to the storm drain and protect the downstairs neighbor’s apartment. You'd be amazed how much water can fish out of a broken pipe.

Spent a nice hour or two chatting with the downstairs neighbor after they asked what happened (having just realized the water was shut off and having missed all the activity).

Was just settling down from that when I heard a kid screaming for help and panicked shouting. Come to find out my favorite neighbor is unresponsive and can't breathe and her kids are all panicked and waiting for the ambulance. The 911 operator is trying to give them instructions but they're too panicked to listen. I get them to move her onto the floor, then finally get the oldest to do chest compressions until the ambulance shows up. The paramedics managed to get her back, she was breathing on her own and talking, and take her to the hospital but it took a long time to get there. Hugged the heck out of everyone who seemed like they needed it and tried to say comforting shit that it seemed like they needed to hear.

I haven't felt this emotionally tapped out in a long-ass time.

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

Today in the office, a co-worker and me had a synchronised rant. Both sitting at each our desks, and independently of each other, he suddenly cursed "I hate text fields" while I burst out "network, piece of shit!"

So almost burst a vein today because of a teacher who kept telling us that the .NET orm , Entity framework , loaded the whole database in memory at a context's instantiation , i thought that's kind of stupid thing for an ORM today,considering the hit on performance and memory consumption with large DBs, and asked her to argument why they would adopt such an approach , at the end she said it worked like that and that me saying it's inconvenient is just my stupid opinion . when i looked it up on the internet i couldn't for the life of me find any mention of that behavior and that she was completely WRONG !! i fucking hate this dumbshit university am going to , anyone looking for an intern trying to escape dumb fucks ?

I guess I had an EMP attack in my home.In a single day my laptop charger burst,my desktop monitor got damaged and my Lumia phone has stopped opening.Dont know what to do

In my unenlightened youth, when programming was a module in my college diploma that didn't seem to be taking me where I wanted to go, I had a couple of guys guy in my class that could arguably be the weird ones.

Jonny, although he asserted that he was to be called "Jonhty", whatever, we never did. He was pretty much top of the high school food chain and for some reason elected to study computer science, none of us was prepared to put up with his shit. He was always boasting about some fanciful claim or another, famously entering the classroom and exclaiming he'd "fucked an absolute milf" and seemed somewhat evasive about the answer, turns out he was 17 and she was 35, the age difference was greater than his own age. We burst out laughing. He would also turn up late and state the college bus was late (it wasn't I got the free bus every day, he'd just not got out his wanking chariot early enough).

One valentine's day we got him a card from a mysterious stranger which was accompanied by a package containing a cucumber and Vaseline, the inside of the card read "to assist you in the following request: please go fuck yourself".

Before you think we were being unduly harsh, we had a centre table where we'd be taught from with computers around the outer rim of the room. He'd come up behind people while at the centre desk, quietly press ctrl+P and slowly walk back to the printer. I saw him do it to my machine and I got to the printer first, to which he shouted "that's MY work" which was amusing because unbeknownst to him I had put headers on all my documents so he really didn't have an answer for why my name was at the top of every page.

To top it all off he had dead eyes, there didn't appear to be much going on but the rent, there was no spark of intelligent life, and while I thought it, I never said it out loud, but other students did and I had to agree. He was just copying his way to graduation. However, he ultimately didn't graduate when people refused to allow him to copy.

Another guy, Richard I believe his name was, which is just as well because he was a right dick. In the UK our word for white trash is "chav" (that's a very naïve explanation for it but that's another rant best left for "socialsciencerant") and he was an complete idiot who was gifted with more brain cells than he ever needed to use. He actually studied hard and got reasonable grades, probably on par with me, but he boasted about smoking weed all the time, he was forever playing dark side of the moon via his loud mp3 player. I kinda left him alone generally until he was high in class one time and while we we're watching a documentary he'd shake my chair and make a weird noise in my ear every few minutes, the first couple of times startled me, the remaining multi-dozen times pissed me off.

It all came to a head with this guy when I'd been hearing about his uninteresting bs on drugs, music and how best to spend my time ("you need to lighten up man, come round my house, take a joint and relax man", that sorta thing), well this guy walked like he was mid way through shitting himself so I personally think that perhaps he is too chilled. Anyway he's arguing with me and after the exchange of him making his point, me disagreeing and expecting the end of it, he made the mistake of saying two words to me:

"Listen, mate..."

And I had him in check mate.

"Listen, I ain't your fucking mate , I don't even like you, you're a disruptive annoying twat that thinks he knows it all, we're all 17, none of us know anything, so shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and stop boring me with your drugs, I ain't interested, and for the record I think pink Floyd ruined prog rock!"

He looked at me with sad puppy dog eyes, and started with the "but, why?", However I was interrupted and had to leave the class for unrelated reasons, I returned to be told he'd put safety pins up right on my chair so I'd sit on them, and mutual friends who TD me I'd been cruel and that he doesn't was hurt, so I should apologize, he overheard and said he was sorry for bring a bit of a dick.

However, you just know when you don't get on with someone? Yeah, that. So I said I wasn't sorry for what I said, for while it was harsh, I am not his mate, nor did I want to be his mate and that was all I had to say on the subject, and that if he wants to take offensive to a nobody not liking him then he's in for a very rough time in life.

Unsurprisingly I don't keep in touch with anyone from college!

Today I had to explain a bit of ressource planing for the coming quarter and ahead.

Hardware ressources.

All in all I knew what I was talking about, but given our tight budget, it''s a lot of moving stuff to either put the hardware to rest or to recycle it.

Moving in sense of new hardware, migrate old to new, decommission / recycle stuff.

After roughly half an hour I stopped and asked If I really should continue, as I felt bored by myself and it's really hard to follow when the whole thing looks exactly like the guy in the nice picture under the post...

A colleague of mine answered: I can still follow, but I'm terrified.

I somehow burst into a mixture of laughing and crying cause that was exactly my thought.

It's gonna be fun... Way easier than the last time, but still. XD

Was at least a funny meeting...

We stopped after everyone calmed down and talked the rest of the time bullshit.

By the way: I look exactly like the dude during planning. :)

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

i led yesterday's daily, since PM had no time and asked me to replace him.

in the beginning, i started the round with exactly the same words the PM always used, which made one of the Indian colleagues burst into laughing with muted mic

daily was held.
after the daily, 3 colleagues thanked me and commented on how awesome daily was, which made myself burst into laughter.

my theory is that people like daily standups where they are not steamrolled, interrupted and snapped at all the time.

When Support burst into your office to find 4 devs standing in front of a whiteboard with frustrated faces.

And still asks: "Got time for a question? this will only take a minute.."

!rant

So I burst out laughing while I was heading to class in a packed elevator and they started the dramatic reading on the devRant podcast! 😆😆

I've been working for 12days straight to develop 6 different pages in an admin panel. The CTO decided to launch only 2 of them! Yesterday, I was late so he asked me to be more regular and produce results with a mixer of insults and profanity.

Dear CTOs, I know sometimes you guys just want to burst out but stop for a minute then try not to be an asshole. It has the complete opposite effect on an employee.

You being an dick will achieve only one thing, you being a dick.

(in 2008)
my boss in my first job. in general every time when he randomly burst into office. one specific time when he burst i to office and INSISTED that we've got to go to a parking lot to see something.

that something was a remote-controlled helicopter he just bought. (this was before the age of drones).

oh, and he was a chain smoker, always had a cigarette behind his ear (wat), and was dragging me out to have a smoke (i was the only other programmer smoker, but not as heavy as him) every 10-15 minutes under the implied pretense of needing to discuss something about the code, and frowned heavily when i refused (because i was actually in the middle of actual work), because he took it as me refusing to have a work meeting with him.

no, we almost never talked about anything work-related, while on that smoke "work meeting".

also, my boss' boss in my first job, when she entered the office asking "we need a clickable map of our country where clicking each region brings you to a search page with filter set to results from that region. how would we do that?"

i answered "html imagemap linking to the right search url for each region, or embedded flash doing the same, if you want the region buttons to be animated", and turned back to my work.

upon which she proceeded to talk about it with the second programmer, both pretending they're solving some aspects that my answer didn't already solve, INSISTING that i stop doing "whatever nonsense you're doing" and pretend that i'm paying attention as if anything they said was in any way relevant or important. i kept returning to my work because i was solving an annoying bug and their talk was empty and useless.

this second incident was then cited as one of the reasons i was let go, because "he ignores important conversations with his superiors about upcoming tasks"

in general, my first job was a shitshow where nobody had any time or energy to do actual work because they all expended all of it to PRETEND for their superiors that they're working, since the superiors had no clue how it looks when we actually do our actual jobs.

(one month after i was let go (because, in my boss' words, yes, the one with the helicopter, "the IT productivity is very low and I have to hold someone responsible") , the second programmer was let go as well, and one month after that, our boss (head of IT) was let go too. to this day I keep being fascinated how did the company manage to survive long enough for me to even be there, let alone how it STILL manages to survive. i guess being part of a nation-wide conglomerate is very effective in covering your company's losses and uselessness)

I've heard various hilarious pronounciations of the word "Guice" but today was the best.

My friend called it "Goose" modules and I burst out laughing!

For the first time that I can remember I see ordinary people everywhere are unhappy with windows. In XP through win8 days I'd see people complaining about one crash here or there, but most of the times you had to be more experienced to notice why windows sucks.

Now, this week I already heard three complaints of people wanting to back to windows 7.

And I feel so happy... I feel waves of joy growing in me, as I burst in a sarcastic, obscure laughter.

Why do?

Because somewhere deep inside I hate windows.

Not becausebthe great amounts of frustration I used to have with it. But because it's so crazy I don't even consider it an OS, but rather a patchwork.

Microsoft's code base must be so fucked up they don't even know what to it with anymore.

That's my idea at least.

Buy it's good to see ordinary people are getting fed up of windows. This might be a way one of my dreams will come true, the day which Microsoft will not be able to maintain Windows anymore, and I think it's not more than ten years until we reach this day.

As a final result, if one day windows really gets to die, I want to be present, but not unnarmed, so I can shoot it at least 15 times, just to make sure this piece of crap is already dead.

Bye

Wisdom tooth is trying to burst through my fucking gum, but it's still less annoying than a friend I have who:
- Constantly posts shitty 'inspiring' quotes on his facebook and tags everyone on his friendlist in 'em.
- Watches motivational speakers and constantly links you up to them.
- Tells you to 'aim higher' or to 'look for a job in a bigger company' or I won't achieve 'the success'.

..bitch, what kind of success have you achieved to tell me what to do with my god damn life?

Soo.. we always knew facebook is evil and manipulates aunties into some weird conspiracy theories

But finally got some reason to convince my friends and family to migrate from Whatzap (aka facebook2) to Signal or Telegram :)

Forcing users to share their information went to a complete different direction of the world is going to. Kinda of glad that this finally burst out of the tech bubble

Anyway

My question is if there are any alternatives to Instagram?

Fingers crossed tiktok is not the only other option 😅

Fun stuff from the few most recent pages in Dwarf Fortress bug tracker:

Human civilization's soldier is an Alligator Recruit.

Dead suspects confess to crimes

Crash due to zero-size weasel

Pets and other animals from retired fortresses appear as selectable 'workers' in request screen, die of old age on arrival

Some animal people have extra fingers

People dying twice?
Most confusingly, one necromancer shows as having died from old age twice, despite this not being possible.

My Nature Hating Adventurer Who Lacks Altruism And Is Very Cruel Isn't Happy After Butchering Animals

bat man males don't have geldables

Reanimated severed werebeast necromancer hand has a full body

Dwarf likes "cacao wood wood"

Dwarves turn hostile againt the player and defend their prison from raid sent to free them

Visitors giving birth during visit leave their baby behind

a water buffalo got stuck inside a rough tetrahedrite wall

Animals which retract into body parts forget to come out

Herbalist stuck on stepladder, starving to death.

Artifact has an image of nothing

Cave Dragons are sometimes intelligent, and sometimes join human civilizations

A goblin knocked over a workshop and now my dwarves are killing each other

Ambusher elves are being spotted, but the giant monsters they're riding on aren't.

runs with food from table to table. Can't eat

Intelligent Undead Sent on Mission Return as Ghosts

Horrified merchants immediately destroy their wagons, pack their goods and leave the depot

Dwarf king abdictates to become commoner necromancer apprentice

Internal body parts with certain tags can still wear clothing & armor, without being otherwise accessible

Necromancer marries zombie

Single dad dwarf with buggy dead wife leaves kid behind when he takes over holding

Large quantities of adamantine coins causes trade depot to burst into flame

I'm so fkin happyyyyyy!!
2 months ago a friend hits me up and says "lets make a fkin website"
I had no knowledge of web dev and didn't take it seriously cuz "web dev is for losers who can't code, also they get paid in peanuts" as stated by someone I highly respected back in school.

Fuck him.
It's all changed.
I never thought I'd say this.
But web dev is the best thing I've picked up in 3 years

Been making steady progress in js, php, sql then picked up jquery and made a few dynamic test sites. God it was so fkin satisfactory. Started node- it's intimidating but I'll get the hang of it soon and thinking of starting vue or ember as soon as I'm confident in all the stuff I've picked up. Oh and friend's website?
Fuck that it's a trash concept. I still thanked him for getting me to start web dev and moved on.
I still have my roots in c++ and Python and I'll never forget them but I think this may be the start of a wonderful journey. Be sure to burst my bubble I'm just a noob now

Toughest part of dev interviews? There are multiple I can think of.

Getting an interview altogether in this dumpster fire of an economy.

Negotiating salary (i.e. prevent getting a low-ball offer)

When the interviewer is a dev themselves and they get on a power trip and ask you the toughest/trickiest questions.

Convincing the interviewer that something you don't know now can be learned later just by googling and tinkering around.

Trying not to burst out in anger when you get asked stupid questions like "Why aren't you married?"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Working on an Android app for a client who has a dev team that is developing a web app in with ember js / rails. These folks are "in charge" of the endpoints our app needs to function. Now as a native developer, I'm not a hater of a web apps way of doing things but with this particular app their dev teams seems to think that all programming languages can parse json as dynamically as javascript...

Exhibit A:

- Sample Endpoint Documentation
* GetImportantInfo
* Params: $id // id of info to get details of
* Endpoint: get-info/$id
* Method: GET
* Entity Return {SampleInfoModel}

- Example API calls in desktop REST client
* get-info/1
- response
{
"a" : 0,
"b" : false,
"c" : null
}
* get-info/2
- response
{
"a" : [null, "random date stamp"],
"b" : 3.14,
"c" : {
"z" : false,
"y" : 0.5
}
}
* get-info/3
- response
{
"a" : "false" // yes as a string
"b" : "yellow"
"c" : 1.75
}

Look, I get that js and ruby have dynamic types and a string can become a float can become a Boolean can become a cat can become an anvil. But that mess is very difficult to parse and make sense of in a stack that relies on static types.

After writing a million switch statements with cases like "is Float" or "is String" from kotlin's Any type // alias for java.Object, I throw my hands in the air and tell my boss we need to get on the phone with these folks. He agrees and we schedules a day that their main developer can come to our shop to "show us the ropes".

So the day comes and this guy shows up with his mac book pro and skinny jeans. We begin showing him the different data types coming back and explain how its bad for performance and can lead to bugs in the future if the model structure changes between different call params. He matter of factually has an epiphany and exclaims "OHHHHHH! I got you covered dawg!" and begins click clacking on his laptop to make sense of it all. We decide not to disturb him any more so he can keep working.

3 hours goes by...

He burst out of our conference room shouting "I am the greatest coder in the world! There's no problem I can't solve! Test it now!"

Weary, we begin testing the endpoints in our REST clients....

His magic fix, every single response is a quoted string of json:

example:
- old response
{
"foo" : "bar"
}
- new "improved" response
"{ \"foo\" : \"bar\" }"

smh....

So I had this assignment for a subject at University about semaphores in C. The theme was "Friend's dinner out" and it had 3 entities and yadda yadda...

The innocent me made this montage of a chef (one of the entities) with a semaphore in his hand and put it in the first page of the report for that assignment.

Until this point, all ok, or so I thought...

The moment I show my report to my friends they burst out laughing and say I literally just created a meme and sent it to a "not so cool" teacher.
They find it hilarious.

Right now I'm nervously waiting for the assignment grades to be published.

Did I screw up my report and thus my assignment?

So just babbling my shit down here.

(Tldr : i am a crazy guy who followed my half slept brain, went onto a stage , gave some kind of motivating , stammering talk to a large group of professional strangers, enjoyed that day with a red embarrassed face and just got my first pic of me speaking on stage and that is so awesome !)

Last Saturday i went to a gdg meetup and i embarrassed the hell out of me.

I went there with just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night.
After a few talks there comes a guy who is taking some time to install is setup and the host calls for lightning round session ( ie he asks if anyone from the audience would like to share something about their product or something).

I am a fucking nutt guy. I can explain something to you nicely in a hacky way as long as i have done enough work on that and you speak my native language.

But giving a talk on English stage, hell no! I stammer, mix hindi with English and start speaking werd shit.. And that's what happened.

I don't know what went into me but as some guy went to the stage and talked for 2 mins, i was like yeah i want to do that too. So in next turn when he asked for a show of hands, i raised mine and fucking went to stage!

I forgot that if you go on stage you should have something to talk to . But the moment i was on stage, i was like... "Nope, we will do this differently".
I had been working on a video ads module from the last week which could be easily explained in 2 mins. But i felt like giving a non techy talk instead.

It went something like this: i introduced myself with my experience details ( who gives experience details on stage !?!) Then host said to speak loudly and i went like "Bharat mata ki jai!"( Victory to mother india (wtf!?😆) .

Then started talking about how the developers feel disheartened when searching on internet where the resources are scattered . And the solution i told them was :"don't be disheartened. You will eventually find it (like wow dude wtf, as if they didn't knew that) . Look on the youtube and other resources " and then went full on explaining/marketing about some online tutor who gives advice/consultancy via a subscription based payment ( tbf that guy really helped solve a lot of my doubts, he has written books on Android dev and is the top so answerer for Android).

Then i went on sharing my thoughts live on that fuckin stage ! ( Live because i usually post my thoughts here on devrant before discussing them out with real people, you guys are my safe space) but there i discussed my thoughts on libraries!

I have this believe that Android devs these days are having lesser knowledge of the system because we have all the libraries and templates available to us. But when we have to customize stuff, we need to go deep into docs and source classes and find ourselves in trouble there. So i kind of said this out loud and that we should try to read more the code and implement stuff ourselves instead of using the library 😅🙈)

I was feeling so fucking embarrassing after that all stuff! It was so full of stammering , broken English and worst attempt at motivation. At that time i was regretting this and about to burst cry and run away, but somehow i gathered my self, got my mood back to the event games and talks, later went to the organizers and apologized(and they were very nice and didn't cared about it), and overall enjoyed my weirdest day!

When i came home, my mom gave me a little more confidence about it. Now i think i shouldn't be that much instinctive. Next day i went hack to work and everything got normal.

But Yesterday i found a link to the public repository of the photos. Ohh fuck, someone had took my image! and that was too in full hd!!! 🙈🙈🙈😅😆😆 Oh mann I can't stop looking at that cool stage speaker image, i love it ! I, the shy-est and the most uncool awkward person , present on the stage with a mike, oof , i think i lived my dream !

I hope i could get enough confidence and speaking skills to take a real stage talk next time ( and maybe enough interesting talks and confidence to talk with girls of our office, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Okay, it's getting a bit annoying to _hear_ my graphics hardware (NOT the fans. The circuits) working when I'm doing something on the screen.. Sometimes it feels like it's gonna snap and burst in flames or smth..

Gotta learn myself through vim and tmux because I have no choice. My laptop burst and all I have is a Raspberry Pi with Raspbian core + MATE DE installed. Don't really wanna use heavy stuff with it because it'll become really snappy.

Oh well, as long as I can code.

One day a developer's phone accidentally fell into his toilet. The poor developer looked at the toilet but couldn't find it as it was too late.

Finally he burst into tears. Hearing his sobs, an Angel appeared before him. 

The Angel dived into the toilet and came up carrying a golden phone. The developer did not accept it. He said, "This is not mine. My phone is not golden."

To which the Angel replied, "It's not golden, it's covered in shit!"

So as you may know, I am job hunting. One company I found, called ruby, sounded interesting (the name helped). They were looking for data science type stuff.

I was about to apply when I got the feeling I should check the description. They were boasting about their flagship product.

Ashley Madison.

Needless to say, I burst out laughing and moved on.

I remember when my sister borrowed the original Sims from one of her classmates. She would play and i would watch. One time she recreated our entire family as well as our home. Everything was fine and dandy until she tried cooking something. The kitchen burst into flames and burned the whole family alive so me, being 5 or so, literally cried for the rest of the day and never dared to play the game again. The end.

"hello world" is not a program, sorry to burst your bubble.

The more I investigate mobile development the more it becomes apparent to me that modern development is a *massive* pile of technical debt thats going to burst, crash, and burn one day, along with the entire industry.

If it takes a newbie more than ten minutes in your framework to add a fucking *button* and navigate to a new screen, then your framework is shit.

Every time I read someone reply to a post with "lol" I stop for a moment and imagine myself actually laughing out loud to that post. I've got to say, only under ~1% of such posts were actually worth lol'ing. Other times laughing out loud to whatever is there would be retarded at best.

So either I'm a bum with only notions of a sense of humour OR there are far too many retards laughing out loud to basically anything.

Or perhaps there are too many idiots who use 'lol' without knowing what it means.
Or those people so desperately want others' attention that they lie to others pretending to like what they say/do/write by saying "what you did there made me feel so good that I burst in loud laughter".

This is stupid.

If you don't laugh OUT LOUD - then don't say that you do.
If you are not in immediate danger threatening to your life - then don't say you are LITERALLY DYING.

FFS, is it THAT hard?

Small chaotic startup that never grew up (15 years atm).
Hosts/maintains a number of apps/sites for various customers.

At some point, someone decides that a CMS would be usefull to maintain the content across all products. Forgoing all sense, reason and the very notion of "additional maintenance and dev" it is decided that one should be built in-house.

Fast forward a number of years.

Ops performs routine maintenance on prod-servers. A java-patch accidently knocks out one of the pillars a 3rd party lib the CMS uses for storing images. CMS basically burst in to flames causing a.... significant incident.

Enter yours truly to fix the mess.
Spend a few days replacing the affected 3rd party lib. Run tests on CMS in test and staging environments. Apply java-patch. All seems fine.

When speaking to frontenders and app-devs, a significant hurdle present itself:
All test/staging instances of all websites/apps/etc ALL USE PRODUCTION CMS. Hardcoded. No way around.

There is -no- way to properly test and verify the functionality of any changes made to the home-brewed CMS.
My patch did indeed work in the end.

But did the company learn anything? Did they listen to my reasoning, pleading or even anguished screams for sanity?

No.

Worst disturbance: me, with an ANC headset, listening to some music or documentary.
Then a burst of laughing coming through all this sound engineering – the VP marketing, discussing by phone with some 1K-followers "influencer".
Yeah, the same VP that says that she needs silence to focus on the email she's writing when the intern ask her some important question.

So, while I was hunting for job...waiting for reply to the job I applied. (As now is CNY) , so my friends and I do a little bit of freelancing...

So this business owner wanted an Ewallet app in Kaios. It's possible but he keep complaining that why me and friends so slow and can't deliver in a day. WOW! He said he "Create" software before.

To burst my resentment, I asked him to show us what platform he use for creating application. He showed us "Wix.xom"

Long story short, we dropped the project. Find a new one.

!rant

So this happened sometimes ago.
We ,primarily, makes accounting software with industry specific integrations of manufacturing,etc. A soon-to-be new client visited our office for a meeting and a quick demo.
He's not satisfied with his current software and wants to switch but keeps bragging about how his current software operates and it's easier for him.(Only because he's been using it for years.)

NC : We used to do like that. Blahblahblah.

My Boss : Well, I built this new office last year. I visited "Taj Mahal" just before that. It was so beautiful. But it doesn't mean I should build a "Taj Mahal" for my office because it's not practical. Same goes for this software.

The client has a great sense if humor. He burst into laughing after 5 secs of silence. Not a single word of his current "system" after that.

PS : My first post.

Fucking illnesses suck ass.

On Thursday afternoon I started get a feeling of “fullness” in my left ear, nothing major, thought it was just my hay fever.

Got progressively worse and ended going to the local walk in center (out of hours drs) and got prescribed a course of anti biotics.

I know they take time to kick in and I won’t feel any effects for a day or two, but fuck me I feel rougher than a badgers arse.

I assume I have ruptured my ear drum as my ear is leaking, but the swelling means I can’t close my mouth properly, the pressure makes it feel like my head is going to burst.

I built a view engine that relied on V8 for expression evaluation and flow. Not very stable of course, since it used RegEx, but it worked fine for what it was designed for.
The crown feature was the ability to pass in lazy-evaluated huge objects to that view model, so that the view model decided what was going to be used in order to display the view. Made it really flexible, while not sacrificing speed.

I was brainstorming for 2 days about the lazy loading part, and the gymnastics that had to be implemented for this to work.

After I wrote my final line of code and thought that this is it, I launched it, and it FUCKING WORKED! First try!
I was hyperventilating, walking around the apartment like crazy, doing random push-ups just to try to utilize some energy that I felt was fighting to burst out like a xenomorph out of the chest.

... 2 weeks later I found bugs. Had to re-learn how I did it. It's true what they say: if it was hard to write, it's even harder to debug. Fixed it eventually, but that part's not that exciting.

Am I the only one wondering when the IT bubble is going to burst? I mean, I'm getting paid ridiculous money for things that could be done by trained monkey, I barely work more than 4h per contract and every year I either get a raise or swap job for one that gives it to me. How long can this go on? When the big tech layoffs started I though that's it, but nope. How the hell does this function

The senior engineer on my project is working with Kafka. Completely unaware of the possibility of rescheduling failed messages with a fixed delay he was trying to put a Thread.sleep somewhere in the consumer to emulate the feature.

Sometime i would like to burst out crying because I feel like I'm the only one who care about writing good code and using best practices.

The more in the industry the more I realise titles don't matters. Everything is shit, everything...

In high-school we had comp science classes which obviously hardly had anything to do with real stuff. In fact, our teacher was really clueless, so we decided to fool her. I made a tiny app that took a screenshot and set it as its background while being full screen and with hidden cursor. So it basically looked as if the computer was frozen. I also made it so pressing alt+f4 would set the background to a fake BSOD image. Next class we fired it up, the teacher tried everything to unfreeze the computer. She obviously failed, so we told her to try alt+f4. BSOD came up, she tried to fix it by hitting on the side of the PC. That didn't work so she unplugged it from the wall socket. We barely managed to not burst out in laugh, it was absolutely hilarious 😂

I think the cheese literally burst.

This morning me and my colleague had huge debate about using GraphQL or REST. While I was in total favour of GraphQL, that guy was more on REST side because he read some random articles on dev.to and medium and was highly motivated to use REST instead of GraphQL.

The problem is, some people write anything on blogging websites without even doing a proper research.

Since, I have worked on GraphQL, I knew it's pros and cons very clearly and what are the things that can be done to solve them.

The guys said that we can't do native caching in GraphQL at which the lava from my head just got burst out.
I showed him the official GraphQL docs where it was clearly mentioned that we can do caching in GraphQL.
Poor guy couldn't say anything after that.

P.s: We are still going to use old school REST APIs but I am happy that I could prove my point. I'll use GraphQL in my side projects anyway, loss for him if he's not exploring something new.

!tech

funny that ever since i started working out regularly, my craving for cheese has shot up. i usually have cheat meals every weekend, but my favourite ( and most harmful) cheat food is a Domino's pizza with a cheese burst base. i try to have that atmost 1 a month but damn... that burst of cheese in mouth gives me an orgasm session of 30 minutes.

today i had it and now am missing the workout lol

Got home exhausted the other day. Told my non-tech wife that I have a lot to do. She asked, if she could do anything for me I need. I said: "Well, I need a network aware LoggerComponent." She replied: "Is that something I could paint?" My facial expression let her burst out in laugher within one second.

Sometimes I get so much energy out of nowhere, it's like a burst of adrenaline pumping inside my body.

This makes it difficult to concentrate and think straight.

The consequence is to find ways to release energy, which means doing something that I'm not satisfied with (bad habit).

Any techniques to handle such energy?

Ideas I've had over the years that could pan out and be useful:

SMS-DB: Stands for SMS-Data Burst. Used to allow those with low cell signal or no data plan to transfer data between a phone and some client via the standard SMS text space. Would be slow, but would act kinda like dial-up over SMS (as mobile lines are compressed on all service levels, even LTE, so traditional dial-up wouldn't work!) I have a general idea on how packets would be laid out, but that's about it so far...

everything2PNG: Allows one to transpose any file's data into a PNG with a 3 byte per pixel (full color RGB), which allows for a "compression" of sorts (about 91, 93% on preliminary tests) AND allowing further, more efficient compression of the resulting file. (Plus... it's just kinda cool to see files transposed as PNGs.) I actually have a simple transposer to go to PNG, but can't yet go back. Large files (around 600MB) use upwards of 4GB with efficient paging and other optimizations via NumPy so far, so it's not *viable* yet, but it's coming along nicely.

RPi-GPIO Interconnection Bus: A master/slave or round robin method to allow for Raspberry Pis to communicate using GPIO, which can help free up network bandwidth in RPi cloud computing clusters. At most, this'd allow for 4 bits used for pushing to the GPIO "bus", and 4 bits used for pulling from the "bus". 8 pins total are usually unused minimum, so either 3 or 4 pins for upload, 3 or 4 for download, and potentially 1 or 2 for commands, general non-data communication, etc. I made a version of this concept using Round Robin for a client, but it was horribly slow. (I also don't have distribution rights for the code, so i'm working from scratch.) Definitely doable.

We were looking at the screen confused as to why the SolR queries that weren't working a day before were suddenly working.
Being the troll I am, I mentioned that maybe the little elves that live in little shoes came around and fixed it.
The other guy looked me dead in the eyes and mentioned "But there was no commit message."
We burst out laughing.

"Averice - a serial novel"

2021 - found on the remnents of an old 'youtube' server rack.

A gaunt but handsome man walks into the view finder. Adjusts the camera. "Hi guys and girls." he smiles weakly. rubs his blonde unshaved stubble, running his hand over his mouth, inhaling as if trying to find the right words.

"How can I say this. god. ...americas fucked and rapidly going down the shitter,
college is a fucking scam,
all success in the modern day is based on fraud, bullshit, mythmaking, and "who you know."

we're on the verge of a new cold war, the merger of the fed and the treasury combine with negative oil is the legit death signal of the petrodollar, we're gonna go through a *50% haircut* in living standards and a doubling of taxes on *everything* in the next six months, the tech bubble is gonna burst taking with it half the industry jobs overnight, the credit bubble will burst even as the fucking stock market climbs higher, a quarter or more of all retail will shut down leaving empty assets turning every state property market into the equivalent of fucking detroit. MAD as a protective doctrine is dead with the spread of hypersonic weapons so enjoy living with the constant threat of being obliterated without warning, my entire generation basically has no meaningful or stable future to look forward to, and none of us have really had an actual, genuine say in anything involving society for decades."

He exhalled visibly on camera, as if exhausted by the demons of anxiety he'd poured forth, a torrent of fears, uncertainties, and revelations like the tormented ghost of christmas past

A long pull from a bottle of southern comfort.

"look. we have an out of control intelligence apparatus that are in their operation more orwellian than the real life stasi ever were, a government at both the federal and state level thats made of millionaires and billionaires who give no fucks at all except for their own power, out of control and absolutely dogshit-corrupt *local* leaders, nothing is audited, nothing is meaningfully transparented, rampant fraud, destruction of evidence, witness tampering, railroading, intimidation, violence, threats of violence, skyrocketing cost of living, skyrocketing spending, skyrocketing taxes, skyrocketing policies of total control by police, skyrocketing homelessness, fatherlessness, poverty, political corruption, drug abuse, massive politically funded thinly veiled state propaganda, collapsing and decaying infrastructure, the loss of all tradition, culture, community cohesion we might have had, and on and on and on and on.

and all I want right now is to get my dick sucked. drink a beer and blow my motherfucking brains out.

and when people start fighting in the streets over some bullshit and it turns into race riots, because the motherfuckers in the media serving wallstreet always make it about race or some stupid shit like that, I wont be in america to put up with it.

do us all a favor. when you're hanging bankers, hang some fucking journalists too. they never tell the truth. doesnt matter which side they are on
they only divide people and advocate for more of the same bullshit, expanded state powers, more federal dollars, more workers for their campaign, more privileges. they're fucking cancer. yes even your favorite journalist. they're a tumor on society.

our government has become hostile to us even being *alive* anymore. it has for me become intolerable, and in time I have grown to hate it.

there is no way to change it. no way to salvage it. I cannot see any hope for the future anymore. And if you search yourself I know many of you feel the same."

He took another long pull from the bottle.

"we no longer have a voice in america and no means to air our grievances peacefully.

theres nothing in it left worth saving when it all can be taken away at a moments notice by a deaf and hostile bureucratic government. I should have voted for bernie last year. At least he would have destroyed it.

many of you will disagree with this sentiment, thinking things can still work out. because you still have your creature comforts. your apartment which you cant afford. your car with its maintenace bills and monthly payments you've fallen behind on same as half the country now out of work, but in a short few months, a year at most, you will learn what I have learned, and the reason I drink, what I knew about as early as june of 2019, that this is it. this was as good as it was ever going to get. and that the good days, the best days are behind us. that all that you hold dear could be taken. all that you worked for, was already gone, and you just havent realized it yet. I've set this to autoupload once it's done recording. I built a company just to watch the people who dont want any of us to succeed burn america down around it. Im done. Goodbye america."

The man got up from his chair, camera still recording, and left. Only the red flashing dot remained, the only witness to the silence.

I just want to burst out how i feel, after that I'll be back to my project in ElectronJS, so bear with my story :)

I observed from a friend of mine....

October will be their 2nd take Thesis project... same project, the only thing is they purchased the software and never understood any of the code. At the defense(Last Tuesday) they were caught, they made excuses. Database diagram that has many tables that are not connected, and only 1 "Many-to-many" relationship without associative table.

I know from the beginning that "she" will fail over and over until the time she really needed my help... She kept her pride, knowing that she is capable of being independent...
To be frank, It's really hard to become an independent person, I always ask advice for revising my code, explaning this function and many more. I'm not saying that its a karma for her. Let her lesson be learned from these past years.

Computer games is always been a on a great demand. As demand increases, production also increases. Gaming industry has been on a rise since the 19th century. The first computer game "Space Wars" in 1962 gained a large success. Since then, the evolution in the gaming industry is thrilling. Currently, we have access to many immersive games. With the introduction of AR and VR, the gaming industry is going to take a great burst in business. Don't you believe after decade the games would be so advanced that it would be so much life like. According to the predictions, after a hundred years, games would be vastly different from what we play today, realistic feature would be a sidekick for them. A time will come when the games would reach a singularity where the characters would have consciousness. Isn't that like our real world, as if we are the characters in a advanced game of some advanced beings. What if it is true? Scientists are doing a intensive research on this field to find a clue, whether we are in a game or not. This is the so called "Simulation Theory". Some clues in relation to this would be worth noting. The flower are following a series to have their petals. To be precise Fibonacci series is the base to the no of petals in a flower. (Fibonacci Series: 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55.....) Flowers would either have 3 or 5 or 8 petals, but no flower is having a number of petal which is not following this series. Isn't it interesting, there is no brain in flower, even then how could a flower decide, how many petals it will contain? Sometimes, it feels like there is some kind of computer code is responsible for this. We will discuss about it furthur.

Clueless child thinks he got hacked.

So me and my friend were just messing around in class and he says to this other guy that he "hacked him" as a joke. He showed him a CMD shortcut of the file saying "[guys name] OS SYSTEM." He fucking fell for it. He actually thought a cmd renamed shortcut was his OS system and my friend could access it. He tried to grab his computer and delete it. My friend thought he was joking so he opened it and the kid actually screamed. We burst out laughing and make a scene. The teacher got kinda triggered so we stopped haha.

Long time nothing from Mr. Gitmaster, somehow made my peace with him as the project moved out of my focus and he actually seemed to be contributing.
But now some pull request exchanges burst into flames as if they were on LKLM before Linus got castrated. Actually it's with the guy who is jamming out most of the front end code trying to make a really shiny UI with lots of animations that turn our macs into heaters.
Well, debate was over JS code styles or lack thereof and how commented out code should be removed (would actually support Mr gitmaster here). They have me a bit lost there, as I expect the freestyle JS code we produce without any agreed Coding Style Guideline to be an even greater clusterfuck than our C++ code base.

Anyway, hope they come to terms again, like at the start of the project when they jokingly attributed one another as assholes. Their opposing characters could actually benefit from each other.

Oh lord, may all GUI's come alive and eat their users, disintegrate their dev's and finally burst into flames and leave nothing but ashes.

Hot and humid in my countryside office. I swear if one more fly dive-bombs me then lands on my screen I'm going to burst 😡😤

Story of two poor puppies

when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.

she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
same place
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
to people.
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.

we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.

he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.

Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !

immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.

My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.

the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling

The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(

My gf got a new job and needs to learn some programming. Hope she likes it.

On the other hand i appear to have a bore-out from work. So sick at home now and having to visit the doctor tomorrow. Ofcourse i’ve been going through the future conversation like a 100 times.

But i don’t think it’s a good sign if you burst out in tears at your job right?

Few years ago if someone would mention "Javascript" and "Backend" in one sentence, I would burst in laugh. With quick internet scraping I see it's becoming a reality. Quo vadis, orbis?

Have you thought that in case of apocalypse say EMP burst or anything huge enough hit our wet rock which lead to global & long power outage, our kind along electricians will be a valuable assets for any survival group. if 2 better, but if they are 3+ one will proclaim himself as PM and the chaos will be uneashed again ;}

There's good money in doing web development and easy start threshold (what seems like a bubble that will burst sooner or later). What do I like about web development? Nothing. What do I hate about web development? Frontend. OK, I will work on the backend then. That's the process of elimination.

Silicon Valley. Imaging you burst ur balls to build your company. Burst ur mother fucking balls, and clits, to be big, best algo rhythm etc then the fucking board tells u ur fired???? Believe me, my company will have no mother fucking board members. Fuck. That!

how do you handle the salary question among friend circles/relatives/strangers?

i come from a lower middle class background, and my friend circle's family were in similar ranges(some had richer families).

my parents struggled hard to get me into tech and fortunately tech is hot right now, so currently the today's situation is that if counting the individual's income (not the family) then i maybe the highest warner among them (1 is a lawyer , another is a teacher, another is an amazon delivery manager, plus there are a few others).

my problem with this question is that its none of their business. firstly, i am all that my family has. these guys have richer brothers, fathers and sisters their total income is way more than mine. and even if i earn more, i don't earn to be the rich spender of the group. and i neither can be their sole source of hope in case anyone ever needs any money.

and more so fucked up shit is the fact that friends are ruthless and starts discussing this stuff anywhere. like we are among the strangers for fucks sake!! and knowing the state i live in , some of these guys could follow me and burst my guts in the name of money, which i fucking don't have!

So this situation happened a while ago, but I am still pretty angry about it. I am learning Haskell, and it wasn't working, so I asked someone for help. Turns out, he had only been learning how to program for a couple weeks now, and as soon as he saw it, he burst out laughing.

He was making fun of me in the sense that I had only written one line (What?!) OKAY, first off, does this kid know what Haskell can do in one line? Much more than his beloved python, in which, the most complex thing this moron has made was a for loop. And second off, this kid is just like those retarded coworkers and bosses that measure productivity by lines.

I'm not gonna hate the kid because he's learning, but I can see he superiority growing a couple weeks in
God forbid he EVER takes this as a career option, else he may be the most arrogant, annoying human being alive.

Many smartphone cameras lack the ability to turn off burst shot mode.

The burst shot feature on smartphone camera software is almost always not helpful, only annoying. All it does is spam the storage with useless near-duplicate photos.

"Then simply don't hold the camera shutter button!"

Sometimes, this happens by accident. Or the phone has an I/O lag in the moment of releasing the shutter button, so the release of the shutter button is not registered and burst mode is initiated after the I/O lag.

The only purpose of burst shot seems to be making many low light photos to find one that is not shaken. Even then, there must be an option to turn it off.

Also, the point-and-shoot intuition of holding the camera shutter button to set focus and exposure, and releasing to capture a photo is far more convenient. On newer phones, that has been replaced with highly annoying burst shots.

"Then use a third-party app that does allow turning off burst mode."

The problem with third-party applications is that they are awfully slow, since they can not be optimized for a specific device like pre-installed camera applications are. This slowness, as one might expect, leads to missed moments.
On some smartphones, third-party applications can not even access all camera features, such as 2160p video recording. Some phones use a proprietary API that can only be accessed with the pre-installed camera app.

Our prof told us we could goof off for the rest of the afternoon.

So we deauthenticated clients from every access point our antennas could pick up.

We all gave each of our best evil laughs, but the prof's was just too on point, we cant help but to burst out laughing.

Can anybody point me to some really good resources, guides, videos etc for umbraco website development.

Our firm has inherited a couple of these sites from another company and your's truly has to somehow or other maintain them. I've set up a windows host and migrated the sites and everything is running fine but I'd love to know how I go about making an umbraco site from new. I've got visual studio etc and am willing to learn ASP.net, C# etc.

I've always been an PHP/MYSQL dev using open source stuff, and always thought that I'd burst into flames if I touched anything Microsoft but this stuff looks like it might be useful. Whoever would have thought eh?

Random learnings/realisations/hypothesis:

i have found a sense of happiness in weird symbiotic environment : being rich in a poor environment and live with a poor-but-secretely-rich lifestyle.

i call it the "sheep-hoodie" lifestyle: being a wolf in a herd of sheeps but not with a sheep's skin glued to your body. rather a hoodie so you can be a friendly wolf , ferocious wolf and a friendly sheep whenever you want to.

my 1 group of friends are in a sheep phase : struggling in their life , crunched on money, not saving a lot or focused on savings and stuff. At least that's what shows up from their discussions. however when we are together, i see that we are always supporting each other, and sharing resources/helping each other while having fun

my another group of friends have a wolf lifestyle:
they are insanely rich, if you want to party/do something with them at 'their' level, you gotta have a lot of cash to burn . they are wolves because they know how to sell their stuff, whom to sell and how to retain the info for success. i don't enjoy much with them as their solutions to life problems end up with something that involves a lot of money than effort.

So my lifestyle is to earn like them, but live like my broke friends. they think that am earning 20% of what i earn now, and am also in lots of debts and family crisis. someday my lie is gonna burst when i buy expensive stuff lol

--------
#2
i have realised that i have an OCD for silence and psychotic reaction to noise . for me ,
Silent Environment >> sex >> any relationship.
I might react so aggressively to noise while trying to focus that i may end up breaking the closest of relations with anyone

--------------
#3
thinking of having 3 twitter accounts just to fix the problem of devrant not saving content of dormant accounts :
- professional : an id where i will share my professionally stupid questions, achievements, debates etc
- personal/partial-anon : an id where i will share my personal thoughts and stuff. it might also include devrant screenshots / embarrising content that i make here
- true-anon : a full anonymous account for my(some) extreme thoughts, trigger content and explicit researches

my current twitter feed is a mix of first 2, but making 2 seperate accounts might give me more freedom(the level of devrant) to express myself than what i do now (as my followers are also interesting people but mostly related to tech)
guess i should move my tech content there than my personal content.

------------------------------
#4
making an early opinion about something should only be done to research for truth/content/conversion/hype . final opinion should always be made after you trust something with a research. for eg, initial opinion of Elon Musk was he being a bad guy, but now after seeing his crazy ideas and approach towards twitter, he looks like someone who can truly make it a money minting machine.

------------------------------
#5
A simple perception towards making money as not being a bad thing does wonders at a management level and life .
liberal opinion of twitter layoff and later changes were emotional and blaming, but thinking from a business approach, his company partners(and whoever he likes) now have special golden badges to feel like VVIP and have an orgasm, while he gave a dummy melon to every person on earth to pay for feeling like a VIP and have an orgasm.
a brilliant tactic to make money without anyone calling the minting of money as BAD. genius

------------------------------
#6
was randomly checkin Insta, saw an ex-collegue share a random deep thought quote, and i realised that i might have known her for just a week or 2 in college, but she had a very nice nature.

However, she was the daughter of a very rich ass dad and had almost everything in life. she gave a bit spoilt(for me) look, like someone who did ciggs or drink, but her talks then and our chats later just on chat gave me a very nice hustler vibe (the type of people i like: hustling and professional)

I indirectly asked her on a date and she agreed. so, this is something very interesting for me, as i am hopelessly single and full of judgemental opinions/ strict rules. share your tips and notes on how to have a successful date, and stuff that one must NOT do . much grateful if you do not come under rule 29 of internet and share your POV

my most daring adventure of 24 yrs day -1/3 (this array goes -1,0,1,2,3)

read my previous 2 rants for context. tomorrow the journey is going to start. the organisers dont count that day (aka day 0 ) as its a bus travel night , but i would disagree since am sleeping away from home.
if i survive this i will probably add more comments on this thread about how i felt each day.

currently having the worst thoughts due to every constraint being a variable. have i packed enough? have i packed too much? will there be rain there? will there be sun ? will there be snow? am I prepared for the harsh weathers? its a mountain area and there have been heavy rain in my urban city, what if their is a cloud burst or landslide? am I prepared to run? am i prepared enough for the trek? will my cellphone die? what if my bus is captured by decoits in night? what if am travelling with kidnappers disguised as passengers/ organisers? will they cut my limbs or just ask for ransom? if they are not decoits, are they going to be lovey dovey couples interested in bursting condoms in mountains nd not helping a fella. WILL EVERYTHING GO OKAY? is this the last time am seeing my parents?

fuck fuck fucking fuckak fuck.

the only good thoughts am having is looking at the reels of organisers. theybhave smiling faces, beautiful mountains, people are dancing in buses and having fun in dormitories. can those be me? all i want is my mom to not get a heart attack from this trip.

My head is going to burst into flames 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

It's these individually tiny annoyances in products and software that together form a huge annoyance.

For example, it's 2022 and Chromium-based web browsers still interrupt an upload when hitting CTRL+S. This is why competition is important. If there was no Firefox, the only major web browsers would, without exception, have this annoyance, since they're all based on Chrmoium.

I remember Chromium for mobile formerly locking scrolling and zooming of the currently viewed page while the next page was loading. Thankfully, this annoyance was removed.

In 2016, the Samsung camera software was updated to show a "camera has been opened via quick launch" pop-up window when both front and rear sensors of the smartphone were covered while the camera was launched by pressing the home button twice, on the camera software Samsung bundled with their custom version of Android 6. What's more, if that pointless pop-up was closed by tapping the background instead of the tiny "OK" button or not responded to within five seconds, the camera software would exit itself. Needless to say, this defeats the purpose of a quick launch. It denies quick-launching while the phone is in the pocket, and the time necessary to get the phone out could cause moments to be missed.

Another bad camera behaviour Samsung introduced with the camera software bundled with their customized Android 6 was that if it was launched again shortly after exiting or switching to stand-by mode, it would also exit itself again within a few seconds. It could be that the camera app was initially designed around Android 5.0 in 2015 and then not properly adapted to Android 6.0, and some process management behaviour of Android 6.0 causes this behaviour. But whatever causes it, it is annoying and results in moments to not be captured.

Another such annoyance is that some home screen software for smartphones only allows access to its settings by holding a blank spot not occupied by a shortcut. However, if all home screen pages are full, one either needs to create a new page if allowed by the app, or temporarily remove a shortcut to be able to access the settings.

More examples are: Forced smartphone restart when replacing the SIM card, the minimum window size being far too large in some smartphones with multi-windowing functionality, accidental triggering of burst shot mode that can't be deactivated in the camera software, only showing the estimated number of remaining photos if less than 300 and thus a late warning, transition animations that are too slow, screenshots only being captured when holding a button combination for a second rather than immediately, the terminal emulator being inaccessible for the first three minutes after the smartphone has booted, and the sound from an online advertisement video causing pain from being much louder than the playing video.

Any of these annoyances might appear minor individually, but together, they form a major burden on everyday use. Therefore, developers should eliminate annoyances, no matter how minor they might seem.

The same also applies for missing features. The individual removal of a feature might not seem like a big of a deal, but removing dozens of small features accumulates to a significant lack of functionality, undermining the sense of being able to get work done with that product or software when that feature is unexpectedly needed. Examples for a products that pruned lots of functionality from its predecessor is the Samsung Galaxy S6, and newer laptops featuring very few USB ports. Web browsers have removed lots of features as well. Some features can be retrofitted with extensions, but they rely on a third-party developer maintaining compatibility. If many minor-seeming features are removed, users will repeatedly hit "sorry, this product/software can not do that anymore" moments.

I feel a burst of energy after eating macaroni salad 🤨….??