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Search - "cube"
Best office prank: I was pretty young and naaive. Senior dev comes to me and says that it would be hilarious to slide a note under the women's bathroom door saying, "I know what you're doing in there". He says that the woman in there will think it's hilarious too. We work with her, she's very funny and laid back, so I go along with it, expecting to get a laugh. A few minutes go by and a different older women enters my cube. She's got the note! She works on the other side of the building so I don't know her too well but I can tell from the look on her face that she's pissed. I'm frozen with fear as my career flashes before my eyes.
I apologise perfusely and try to explain but she's not having it. After a while she goes back to her office not having accepted that it wasn't meant for her and that it was just a joke gone wrong. I spend the next two days apologizing every chance I get, hoping she won't go to HR. She remains stone cold until late on the second day. She couldn't take it anymore as her mouth reluctantly begins to crack a smile. At that point she drops the serious expression on her face and busts out laughing.
It turns out that the three of them planned the whole thing and executed flawlessly. I've never felt so relieved to be the butt of a joke.7
Any rubik’s cube fan?
I ordered a rubik’s cube to help me when I faced a bug since I don’t know how to use the rubber duck63
Well... There is an App called 'Tinker' where you can create games and stuff with a Scratch-like programming language.
One day I made a really simple 3D Rendering Engine and as a demo a rotating cube.
Then I published it.
The Tinker-Community consists of mostly little children and therefore they were really impressed :D
The project is now in the top 10 of the most viewed projects!
(There are thousands of other projects on Tinker.)
Yeah... I felt like an badass...4
Sister broke up with her bf (sad) and he gave her a fidget cube as a present a little back. She wanted to get rid of memories so guess who now has his first fidget cube, yes! her brother! Meeeeeee 🙌😃14
So my friend started a YouTube channel, being the motivational man I am I encouraged him and made him a logo for his channel.
It started here, he called me a bazillion times every single day asking me to make stuff like Channel banners, intros.
He even went so far to call my design bad and that I could do better.
I'm definitely losing my hold on my generosity, it's like this with every single fucktard I help. It's like programmers don't get to have a life, people pitch me stupid ideas at every party.. Having a casual conversation a guy starts talking about an idea.
Oooh... And the worst part they say you can have 60% and just give them 40% 'MINORITY' share for coming up with an idea I could pull up from my arse instantaneously
Next time he asks me something I'm gonna fuck him up or just charge him a bazillion dollars... FUCK FUCK FUCK... REALLY GOT TO BUY THAT STUPID STRESS CUBE15
Girlfriend got me a fidget cube for Christmas. I have yet to put it down. This is gonna come in handy for some long nights in the future15
Worst disturbance while working?
Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.
Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."
Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.12
Gotta do this at my office, especially at the cube where the "New Guy" in the team sits!
I worked on a company with an open floor plan where you would get a desk assigned depending on the type of project you worked on. All the desks were modular an you would get a desk with a cube with a set of drawers, or with a locker-like cube with a single space and door. When this guy started, he was assigned a drawer set. Around the third day he went around the office asking anyone with a locker to trade cubes. He finally got one. He filled it up with liquor bottles, cans of juice and several types of glasses. He would prepare himself cocktails during the work day. Once he was enjoying a Coca-Cola and whisky mix when the HR boss came around to ask what he was up. He offered the guy a drink.4
One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"
Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.
For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.
When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.
Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.3
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
Boss sends e-mail telling everyone we have funding for 1+ year.
Two weeks later 50% of employees laid off.
I saw this as a ./ comment a while back on a discussion about dev tools (sorry... don't have a link to the actual post...) It was so good that I printed it off and pinned it to my cube. Thought I'd share it here--
"The pain in programming doesn't come from the tools. Yeah, it's a pain to learn the tools, but that's short lived. The real pain comes from the nature of programming. It's caused by having to tell the computer in excruciating detail exactly what you want it to do without glossing over any of the 'you know what I mean' steps, because the computer certainly doesn't know what you mean. And not only do you have to tell it how to do the job when everything is working as it should, you have to anticipate all the ways in which things could fail and tell the computer what to do in those cases, too. THAT'S the painful part of programming--the programming. No tool is going to fix that."4
Unaware that this had been occurring for while, DBA manager walks into our cube area:
DBAMgr-Scott: "DBA-Kelly told me you still having problems connecting to the new staging servers?"
Dev-Carl: "Yea, still getting access denied. Same problem we've been having for a couple of weeks"
DBAMgr-Scott: "Damn it, I hate you. I got to have Kelly working with data warehouse project. I guess I've got to start working on fixing this problem."
Dev-Carl: "Ha ha..sorry. I've checked everything. Its definitely something on the sql server side."
DBAMgr-Scott: "I guess my day is shot. I've got to talk to the network admin, when I get back, lets put our heads together and figure this out."
Me: "A permissions issue on staging? All my stuff is working fine and been working fine for a long while."
Dev-Carl: "Yea, there is nothing different about any of the other environments."
Me: "That doesn't sound right. What's the error?"
Me: "No, the actual exception, never mind, I'll look it up in Splunk."
<in about 30 seconds, I find the actual exception, Win32Exception: Access is denied in OpenSqlFileStream, a little google-fu and .. >
Me: "Is the service using Windows authentication or SQL authentication?"
Dev-Carl: "SQL authentication."
Me: "Switch it to windows authentication"
<Dev-Carl changes authentication...service works like a charm>
Dev-Carl: "OMG, it worked! We've been working on this problem for almost two weeks and it only took you 30 seconds."
Me: "Now that it works, and the service had been working, what changed?"
Dev-Carl: "Oh..look at that, Dev-Jake changed the connection string two weeks ago. Weird. Thanks for your help."
<My brain is screaming "YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO LOOK FOR WHAT CHANGED!!!"
Me: "I'm happy I could help."4
A few years ago, we had a developer who would come in early and leave by four almost every day. I can't remember how exactly it started, but we would put up a picture of a different dragon on his cube wall almost every night.
He was a pretty laid back/passive guy, so we took bets on how many pictures there would be on his walls before he took one down.
3 dragon figurines on his cube walls and 11 full color pages later, we had a winner.
Father: What is this? *hands me a box*
Me: 😯 *opens box*
The contents of the box: a white cube about an inch on each side, with a speaker on one side, a button on the other and three small holes.
Comes with a manual (square inch piece of plastic with a drawing) that shows you what the button does (turn it on, duh) and some indications as to what the various holes do.
Me: 😶 I have no clue... Maybe it's for taking calls? (though speaker mode does exist peeps)
Father: 😑What do you mean you don't know... Don't you know about stuff like this?
I love when my family assumes I am all knowing when it comes to anything running on electricity... Guys, just because I program I am not a psychic and am not better suited to fix your printer or fix your phone screens.12
I finished two projects. Both of them need to connect to each other. However, the tool to do that is not currently licensed to achieve my desired outcome. I email my boss to check the status of the license key I need, that they promised, and the only thing I get back is "Correct." Seriously? 😠 The person who has the company credit card and authority to buy, also the same one that gives me a deadline to turn this shit in, can't give me the time of day to respond to an email? Their response wasn't even relevant. I've been trying to move beyond this roadblock for a week now! I'm a pretty independent guy, but I'm not going to buy the license myself for a tool that I didn't even want to use. So when someone comes to my cube and I'm raging on Steam, ✋ I don't want to hear anything about company time, because mine isn't being respected either. 👊👊
Fidget spinners are stupid.
But what do you have on your desk instead?
The challenge of a Rubik's Cube? A classic Newtons Cradle? A stack of empty pizza boxes? Magnets, because how do they work? The one and only devRant stress ball?
I'm looking for something to mess with when I'm staring in disbelief at horrible PRs.
Preferably something semi-creative, tactile and stress-relieving. The three-dimensional material equivalent of the doodle.
Something which is less annoying for coworkers than the clicky switches in my keyboard. And a bit more appropriate than my genitals.35
I told colleagues that I had little to do before Christmas... half an hour later, one of our (whackiest) senior devs stands before me, holding out a Rubiks Cube. " I heard you have nothing to do, solve this!" >.< xD2
The other day I was looking for my wallet and the first thing that crossed my mind was "Ctrl + F" please tell me I'm not crazy5
If you're a manager that cuts on hardware quality — listen.
When you die, I will contain your soul into the closed cube made of cheap whining SMD coils. You'll be there forever unable to end your suffering and will forever hear that coil whine until the end of time.1
😲 For fuck's sake now I have to sell my 2 kidneys instead of 1 if I want to buy a MacBook pro.
Fucking expensive shit.8
I had a manager in a fortune 500 company encourage me to install a web cam with live feed in another team members cube as a prank. Being younger, I trusted him and so figured it would fine and just get a good laugh.
Then another member found the setup and reported it. Turns out, this broke so many company regulations, I could have been fired on the spot. They confiscated my laptop and I got the 3rd degree from my senior director, who told me I was lucky to be a contractor at the time or the situation would have been even worse.
Moral of the story for younger folks in large corporations... don't take everything your higher ups say as gospel. Think for yourself and do your own research if something feels iffy.2
Story from back in college..
It was the golden days of Flash Facebook applications. I have developed a very simple Rubik's cube solver in Acton Script 3. I was testing it out at the back seat of the class during the first day of Advanced OOP in Java module.
Our lecturer was going on and on about how awesome Java was and what all you can do with it. After a while he said "do you know this thing called Rubik's cube?" **explains what it is for a while** "Some people have even made software to solve Rubik's cube with Java. Can you make something like that?"
I was like "you mean like this one?" Pointing to the app on my laptop.1
SeniorDev: “OMFG..MalwareBytes is taking up almost 50% of my CPU!”
Me: “Didn’t you have a virus on your machine couple of days ago?”
SeniorDev: “Uh..yea..but it was cleaned up.”
Me: “Your OS might have been compromised. If your antivirus is still busy doing something, then it may be time to start over with a fresh re-install.”
SeniorDev: “No, that’s not it. This is just BS our Network admins don’t want to fix because I’m not a VP”
Me: “I’m pretty sure they don’t care.”
-in as much of a ‘I’m kidding’ tone as I could -
Me: “They would care more if you stopped going to inappropriate web sites on the company computer.”
SeniorDev: “I never go to those sites. It was a link to a charity web site my wife sent me. You know how those sites are. They are built by college kids, so they have no security and was hijacked. That’s how I got the virus.”
Me: “You actually said that to Jim and he believed it?”
SeniorDev: “Well ...yea because….oh …–bleep- you.”
"Jim" sits about 50 feet away, popped his head over the cube wall and smiled. It was awesome.
TL;DR; windows XP + bat scripts + fascination about being able to make things yourself.
I was born and raised in a village. And the thing about living in a village is that you are free :) Among all the other freedoms you are also free to build your own solutions to various domestic problems, i.e. to build stuff. This is one of the things that fascinates me about living outside the city.
When I finally was old enough (and had the means to, i.e. a computer) to understand that programming is something that allows you to build your own solutions to computer problems, it got to me.
With win 3.1 I was still too fresh and too young. With win 95 I was more interested in playing with neighbours outdoors. With win 98 I was a bit too busy at school. But with win XP the time had come. I started writing automation solutions for windows administration using .bat scripts (.vbs was and still is somewhat repelling to me). I no longer needed to browse Russian forums and torrent sites to find a solution to a problem I had! That was amazing!!! [esp. when my Russian was very weak].
That was the time when I built my first sort-of-malware - a bat script downloading and installing Radmin server, uploading computer's IP and admin credentials to my FTP.
I loved it!
However, I'd stumbled upon may obstacles when writing with batch. I googled a lot and most of the solutions I found were in bash (something related to Linux, which was a spooky mystery to me back then). Eventually, I got my courage together and installed ubuntu. Boy was I sorry... Nothing was working. I was unable to even boot the thing! Not to mention the GUI...
Years later I tried again with ubuntu [7.10 I think.. or 7.04] on my Pavilion. Took me a looooot of attempts but I got there. I could finally boot it. A couple of weeks later I managed to even start the GUI! I could finally learn bash and enjoy the spectacular Compiz effects (that cube was amazing).
I got into bash and Linux for the next several years. And then I thought to myself - wait, I'm writing scripts that automate other programs. Wouldn't it be cool I I could write my own programs that did exactly what I wanted and did not need automation? It definitely would! I could write a program that would make sound work (meaning no more ALSA/PA headaches!), make graphics work on my hardware, make my USB audio card to be set to primary once connected and all the other amazing things! No more automation -- just a single program or all of that!
little did the naive me knew :)
I started with python. I didn't like that syntax from the beginning :/ those indentations...
Then I tried java. Bucky (thenewboston), who likes tuna sandwiches, on my phone all the free time I had. I didn't learn anything :/ Even tried some java 101 e-book. Nothing helped until I decided to write some simple project (nothing fancy - just some calculations for a friend who was studying architecture).
I loved it! It sounds weird, but I found Swing amazing too. With that layout manager where you have to manually position all the components :)
and then things happened and I quit my med studies and switched to programming. Passed my school exams I was missing to enter the IT college and started inhaling every bit of info about IT I could get my hands on (incl outside the college ofc).
A few more stepping stones, a few more irrelevant jobs to pay my bills in the city, and I got to where I am now.6
Often when I struggle with a complex programming task or get stuck in a bug, this cube and a big cup of ☕ helps me to get back on track.
But when nasty legacy PHP code or WP templates hits the fan, only a mental institution can help...5
so I had coworker that I hardly knew that started hitting me up on our Lync chat system in a sort of creepy way. at first he would just ask my advice on things a lot but he seemed like he was always looking for an excuse to come by cube. then I completely changed divisions within my company. there was no reason why this guy should still be hitting me up with tech stuff but he would still every couple weeks out of know where wanna engage. he'd try to find some technical reason but nothing we did now even remotely related. so one day I kind of said to him why are u coming to me with these issues still. he said "u haven't figured it out yet. u don't know this but we know each from a long time ago". so now I'm like going through all my early schooling, college, other jobs with him. he says no to all of that. he finally says it's in the spirit level. like from another life and he's surprised I have noticed it. 😮😮😮4
@trogus it would be pretty rad to have an avatar option that would add a devRant sticker to a laptop.
btw: I love the Rubik's cube chillin with the rubber ducking debugger.3
Waking up from a dream with a girl in it.
TL;DR: We fell in love and I can finally somehow remember her. Not completely though...
(To the perverts: We did not have sex nor did we kiss.)
The worlds I am becoming a part of are very complex. I won't get into the details of how they look like. I will tell as far as I can remember.
<vaguely remember the beginning>
My sister, my mom and I went into a house which turned out to have weird things inside.
Suddenly I became something like an agent and I had a special mission. I went to the basement of this building. Saw a few guys chilling there. Grabed a walkie talkie which was taped on the right wall. I have listened to it while moving back to the entrance, when I have arrived there, it began to do disortion type of sounds.
<I have been to a lot of different places here. Telling each of them would make me to not come to an end lol>
Then I have decided to go outside. The outside-of-the-house world changed. I was at floor 8 or something like that. It was very high when I looked down. All of the sudden I got into a waterfall type of thing which was about to suck me in to a circle. The waterfall was limited to the area of where this house was. It was basically hovering above the streets, but never reaching the streets.
I somehow met the lovely girl in a cube type of thing that helped us not to fall down through the spiral. We enjoyed the action the waterfall created. It made us move in a circle and we had to hold ourselves at the wall of the cube which luckily had knobs to hold on.
After that whole action I have been in my bed and sleeping. She somehow found me on a social media platform and contacted me with "Meet me on <some strange date>".
<some unlogical world shit happens here. I will just skip them until the date>
The day to meet her comes. She is up on a hill with a "purple?<idk it was purple-ish>" sky.
<can not remember the dialogue>
We had a great time and I felt that she had feelings for me.
She then went away. What about me? And me, too. ;)
The next day I went to see her again. She was gone. I found out that she has a brother. I talked to him about where she might be. Turns out her brother was a demon or satan <idk they all became agressive and god-like powerful lol>.
He told me that she must be there where <random name of enemy> is to fight the enemy to rescue her mom.
Her brother went to help her. I followed him since I did not know where the enemy was. Let alone where I was. The world has changed for the 99999th fucking time lol.
I followed him up another hill with trees and a lot of people. It was autumn.
Then we found her sitting on a hill looking down to the sea beneath us with cherry blossom trees around her.
The dream was about to end. I felt it. So I have asked her a few questions after the happy greeting, but I can not remember them and her answer anymore. But I do remember that she did not say anything after one question. She just stared at me looking through my eyes which immediately did end the dream.
I was able to get into the dream shortly after it a few times, but I was not able to interact with them.
Besides of that: I have had "Battle Symphony-Linkin Park" playing as a background music for the whole dream a long.
The good thing is that I somehow would be able to recreate her. I know how she looks like to about 60%.
I do not even know why the fuck I am telling y'all this.3
Is this a bad way to traverse corners of a cube?
The objective is obvious from the context and I assume that programmers know how binary works.10
"You always know when you have a good tester, because you're always a little annoyed when that person comes around your desk/cube. The reason for this is that you know that if the tester is in your general vicinity, they've found something wrong with what you've written. All the excuses start to pile up in your mind of 'Well, you're not using it right!', etc, but in the end, you know that the tester is right, and you've just made a mistake in your programming."
Idea: Hiding a 3D object in an image by making a list how often every color appears and then displaying that as density information in a 256³ cube (aka using a 3D histogram to encode a 3D object)18
A long time ago in an office far away, my cube mate and one of my reports got into a fist fight. My cube mate got fired over that. Messed up everyone’s entire week.
A couple months later, 9/11 happened and we all had to evacuate the city.
Was working on a bug with another dev one time. He was hovered over my shoulder pretty closely when someone stopped by the cube and said "What's going on?" His response: "We're bobsled programming".
"Make a 3D cube using the skew and size functions in Microsoft Paint on Microsoft Windows 7"
I shit you not, this is a genuine task you can allot in the school-leaving exams(maturita) at my school.
A 3D FUCKING CUBE! IN MOTHERFUCKING MS PAINT!
I mean it would be a kind of an easy task if MS Paint did the math correctly but for some fucking reason when you skew something in MS Paint it also magically shrinks! It is not MS Paint, it's M$ Pain.11
This sad Keanu was gifted to me by a coworker and friend. He sticked it to the monitor, when I was on vacation and he felt bored without me.
Keanu is sad, because I had to break one of his legs, so it does not occlude the monitor.
Also the sad post-it-Smiley came later. Another coworker messed around with my cube of magnetic spheres in my absence. He could not put it back to a cube together, so he left this post it on the magnetic spheres. I thought that day Keanu and the post-it fit together well. This sad Keanu now wears a sad mask.
Because this item reminds me of the kind coworkers and nice occasions, it is my favorite item on the desk.2
"I really like how corporate America ruins you as a person within two years. If you had any aspirations to do anything useful for humanity, they gone."
-Text from my best friend from graduate school3
My younger brother is a speedcuber and I got this for my birthday.
The albino cube.
Useless, like myself.
Beautiful, like myself.
And btw it’s no shabby dollar-store piece of crap, it’s a real magnetic competition-grade cube.7
Moving a stupid shadow 1 px up because UX sees everything like a fucking microscope. O bet a million users will he thankful for that and will use the app again. 😑4
Solid cube of command blocks. Any guesses what it does?
(There aren't many context clues in the image, so you'll probably need to blindly guess)18
life is like a rubics cube. everything is twisted and fucked up and you cannot see where it will take you but somehow at the end everything will fall into place and make sense.9
So I took my old C# project "RotatingCube" for a spin and transformed the unreadable and inefficient mess into a different program, featuring better readability and more comments, with multiple cubes at once, without the shitty flickering.
I did that for school but it was quite fun to tinker with only outputting the differences to a previous output.
Check it out at https://github.com/filthycoding/...!
Next I just need multithreading for performance reasons.
I know we havent gave you any specification, documentation and not a single design but when do you think this will be done?
- Every fucking PM un the world
Why won't you just approve my PR???
Whats wrong with you?!
I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.
What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!
Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!
The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!
A friend of mine wrote a Rubik's cube timer in c# as suggested by me for him to practice. This was so terrible....There were lines like:
My CTO strongly discourages working from home because he insists that "leaning over to the next cube to ask a question" is far better than sending a message, email or making a phone call. He went as far as saying it takes too much effort to do the latter... How is interesting someone while they're working more efficient???10
I'm having a cold and going through Kleenexes faster than a porn addict with Duracell stamina.
So, the question is what therapy exercise to engage in, that fits a brain that's semi dysfunctional due to fever. Last time, I made a Sudoku solver. This turned out to be very useful, because every time someone says "You should try Sudoku!", I can just end the persuasion attempt by replying "I've already solved the general case".
Might do a Rubik's cube solver this time.9
Fuck these fucking financial advisors flooding people with "job invitations". Their powers have increased greatly during this pandemic. I don't understand how what you're doing is still legal when it's low-key pyramid scheme and you're just being a parasite to everyone else who's looking for an actual job with consistent pay, not some dumbass quote about "the hustle" or "perseverance".
Last year, I decided to meet one of them in a coffee shop because I fucking hate them and I wanna know how their brain works or how they operate this shit. The jiz-- the gist is this:
"Oh, you can have flexible schedule and work anywhere you want because you'll literally be chasing people down to sign up for a life insurance."
"So yeah, for you to earn from commission, you have to have other people sign up for life insurance."
"You will reach a point where you wouldn't have to do all of this at all because then you'll be managing other advisors who will be asking people to sign up for life insurance."
"We have a quota. You have to bring in X amount of commission or you'll be removed from the team."
Yeah, what a cube world we live in. So of course, I asked, "Where are you getting these people who sign up to you? I mean surely some of them will not be interested and over time, you would have reached out to all of your contacts."
She answered, "You just ask again. Sometimes they refuse at the moment but would say yes at some point."
Lesson #1: Be an annoying and persistent parasite.
She continues, "You'll never run out of contacts because the people you know know other people and those other people know other people. You can reach out to them or get yourself introduced."
Lesson #2: Spread the fucking virus.
Why? How could you? How is this okay? Fuck.8
Before 2012, I always worked in cubicles and had weekly status meetings. In 2012 I moved to a big city and learnt there was something worse than cubes: the open work plan. Marketed as a way to increase coloration, the open work space is really just the result of real estate prices being expensive in cities and how desks are cheaper than 3-cube walls.
Up until 2013, we'd usually just have the weekly status meeting. Here are your tasks for the week. I'd do them at my own pace. Some days fast, some days slow, but they'd all get done by the end of the week and I'd proudly go down my list of stuff I had done.
Since then, it's all been "agile" and "stand-ups" every. fucking. day. The work is endless. A Product Owner once told me that stand ups weren't suppose to be status meetings; that you were only suppose to say if you're blocked or need help. But in every place I've worked at, they're daily status reports. You have to preform every day.
I really hate IT today more than ever. I miss the cube. I miss the weekly status reports. Today things are so high stress and higher paced and the work is endless. You can't even really pace yourself anymore.2
Fucking shit for brains authors that think the digital world is a fantasy realm where everything can happen just to aid their story. Out of boredom i watched "scorpion" today, a tv series about a group of geniusses which are a special case task force.
They got a visitor from the government saying the servers from the federal reserve bank were encrypted with ransomware. I already twitched when they said the economic system would collapse if the servers were left inoperational for a few days. Then one guy got to his desk and "hacked" the fed network to check... he then tried to remove the malware but "it changed itself when observed". But they got the magical fingerprint of the device that uploaded it. In the end some non-programmers created the malware, but it is super fast and dangerous because it runs on a quantum computer which makes it hyper fast and dangerous. They got to the quantum computer which was a glowing cube inside another cube with lasers going into it and they had to use mirrors to divert the lasers to slow down that quantum thingy. And be careful with that, otherwise it explodes. In the end the anti-malware battled the malware and won, all in a matter of minutes.
This is a multimillion hollywood production. How can a movie this abusive to computer science even air on television? Shit like this is the reason people still think the cyberworld is some instable thing that can explode any second. It's not, it's an instable thing that can break down any second. I remember "ghost in the wires" and people had surreal imaginations about the internet already. Shit like this is why people stay dumb and think everything can be done in seconds. If i ever should encounter one of these idiots i tell him i have an app that can publish his browser history by taking a picture of his phone and watch his reaction.
Time to shuw down the tv and learn vim again.11
What the heck COVID!
All the days have been blending together for the past 6 mo! What day of the week is this? Who am I? What's the meaning of life? Have I ever left the house?
Not going outside, getting alienated from my friends, getting somewhat anxious for no good reason...
Its so weird! This eery, suffocating stillness.
Alas! I hope the day comes soon that I may frolic in the multitudes of people!13
Time to change the copyright numbers on the bottom of my website, i guess i should have automated that a while back...
Happy new year anyway!6
Soooo i have just spent 4 hours "fixing" my 3D printer because my parts werent sticking to bed and fucking up.
I have cleaned the bed.
Leved the bed.
Replaced the nozzle.
Adjusted Unified Bed Leveling points to perfection.
Nope still not sticking. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK ?
OK OK maybe the temperature is wrong. Even tho thats unlikely.
Set it higher so better chance of sticking. (200C to 210C).
Still not sticking.
skgjnsdghdgj lhg s;lkhglkj sdg
OK you know what. I need this small cube done so i will just replace the filament for silver one.
Print sticks just perfectly no issue at all.
Wait. Nooooooooooooo. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO NO.
It was filament the entire fucking time ? WTF ?
I have used the one that doesnt stick for month and no issues. WTF ?
You know what ? I dont care anymore.
I will just not buy that one anymore and fuck it.
Now looking at me 4 hours ago i should have tried different filament as second thing but oh well.
Now i know.
We learn from our mistakes after all.18
I couldn't sleep so I made a CLI 3D to 2D cube displayer in C# in an hour. Controls are (WASD) or (arrow + DEL + END). If you press ALT, the cube will rotate faster. Simple af. This is perfect as my first public repo.
I'm so tired of being on the second floor of this shitty office building. There is a constant vibration from all the employees walking around; moreover, someone walks down the aisle beside my cube...it's like a small fucking earthquake. A group or really fat person walks by? Shit's falling off my walls. Damn it all. 👊
Has anyone heard of the fidget cube? Yeah I'm gonna be using that A LOT when I get mine!
Any simple, easy algos for solving the last/top layer of Rubik’s cube, anyone? This is the part where I always get stuck and have to google.19
"Today was a good day, I didn't have to context switch between three different frameworks." -- Ice Cube2
I can’t control my thoughts.
When someone says “wrap your head around” something, I imagine it. It happens every time.
It’s always 50/50. The one times the head of the person inside my head turns into a play-doh kind of sausage that wraps around a random object, usually a cube, and his face looks confused. It’s hard to separate his head from his neck and it terrifies me.
The other times the head appears extremely solid and has an overall round shape, then I subconsciously try to forcefully wrap it around that object but it doesn’t work and that person screams. It terrifies me even more.
Thoughts like this haunt me through my life. I hate it but I also somehow feel like I’ll miss it if they’re gone and at the same time I can’t decide whether it’s like a Stockholm syndrome towards that terrifying thoughts that are somehow both so personal yet so alien, or just my intuition lies to me again. Both of those possible reasons scare me even more.
My intuition is very valuable to me, I value it the same as I value the freedom of thought – above everything else. Those situations compromise both. Intuition is a major decision-making instrument to me, so terrible things will happen if I couldn’t trust it.
I don’t know what exactly I did wrong to become like this and I can’t remember when it all started8
Finally got to release v2.1 of MultiCube. Now I finally decoupled input, processing, and output :)
Next version is going to include Gamepad support as well, for better cube control. :) That version is going to come only next year though.
Need to rant / maybe some advice.
Working remote is hard.
New company, remote on boarding. I feel like my coworkers are robots, and I'm being tossed into the deep end with minimal guidance.
The codebase is so unnecessarily complicated, its impossible to read. I've been trying to figure out how things work for a whole month, still not sure.
My mentor that is supposed to help onboard me is a robot, and answers questions in a somewhat acceptable manner, but it still feels like a lot of "figuring out" is still left for myself.
My other work partner that is also a newbie like myself is also a robot - doesn't talk or ask many questions whenever we have a sync up meeting.
The codebase is huge and feels quite overwhelming, I don't feel like I got a team "with my back", I don't enjoy work as much as I have before, I barely do any coding (mostly reading code and trying to understand how everything is working by setting breakpoints and debugging tests that take foreeeever to run), and some days I'm seriously considering cutting my losses and jumping ship just to save my sanity.
Am I paranoid? Am I just dumb? Should I just suck it up and be happy I have a job? Is this how Remote work is supposed to feel like? Why does it feel like my soul is dying?
Anyone in similar situations, or who can give some insight/advice/etc, I would highly appreciate it.
And this is supposed to be a good company too from the reviews. I don't know how it can be so crappy in reality. Did I make the wrong choice joining? Should I jump ship sooner rather than later? I've only been here about a month or so, and maybe its too soon? Halp!13
There are 6 regular polytopes:
All hail the Utah Teapot!2
Everyday I get on my train, get off and go into the office, get some coffee, and sit down at my desk.
Everyday, all of us take a Blue Pill, and focus in on this world they give us. We don't consider this a part of our life. Brushing our teeth, flossing, making breakfast, sleeping .. those are also not our life.
Life are all the other things outside of the routine.
But we spend more time in our routine. We spend more time in our loops than outside of them.
Brushing your teeth, making coffee, coding at work, eating, sleeping: these things are your life.
All those other things, they're the escape from it.6
Tales From "PM vs Chen"
PM: *Walks up to Chen's cube*
Chen(that's me): *Taking off headphones* "Are we about to have another meeting about the meeting we just had?"
Chen: "Okay. Just checking." *Waits for PM to share his thought*
PM: We're almost done.
Chen: "Yes" *Waits again for PM to share his thoughts*
PM: *While walking away* "Making Progress"2
when you have coded the sun the moon and the stars. but the motherfucker still wants a universe engraved on a fucking ice cube. AND YOU'LL DO IT ANYWAY. CAUSE YOUR HIS FUCKING BITCH. YOU GUCKING GUCK!2
Lady comes over to my cube and stands silently until I notice her in the mirror. She cheerfully asks that I help her reset her password.
Okay...one, I'm buried up to my balls in work that needs to be done, and here she is camping, expecting me to feel a disturbance in The Force to help on her whim, when our company has an issue system for shit like this. 👊
Two, I'm 👏 a 👏 developer 👏! My sign says Software Engineer on it, which might give some context as to why she forgot her password.
Look, I was nice to her. But it seems like I'm getting more and more phone calls and surprise visits lately from people that I shouldn't be.1
Was a dba for a while. Mostly because I was the only one who knew SQL. Was working with an experienced dev doing front end work with no experience with front end work.
One day he calls over the cube wall "hey the database is broken" so I trudge over there, and see he messed up the call to the BAL from his code behind page. Later, he calls over the cube wall again. Same thing. 3 to 4 times a day. For a week. Finally my default became "no it isn't" and I continued working.
Then when it finally was a database problem, he had this smug look of satisfaction. Yes I'm the idiot.
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3
When updating the activities log:
- Working in the clients report feature 8:00 am - 9:30
- Improving slow query 9: 45 am 10: 45 am
- Filling this piece of shit because my boss cares what other departments say and wants to demonstrate that we are actually working since his a fucking square-minded dinasour who thinks more hours = more productivity FML 11:00 am - 11:15 am1
god how the fuCK DO THESE DEMO EFFECTS WORK how do these guys do this shit i can barely draw a cube on a modern CPU and these assholes have realtime 3d on the 8086 how17
my humblest experience until now so far:
I am not even able to solve the rubiks cube, and I can call me software engineer2
Favourite programming webcomics, anyone?
Big fan of MollyBeans, Cube Drone, and Don't Hit Save over here :)1
Had an idea for a Webb app tonight that I could use to test some new things out. Didn't get round to the new things but 3 hours later I do have my IDE set up, quarter of a billion npm modules and a gulp flow so complicated it feels like the file system is a rubicks cube...
My relationship with recruiters have always been a love/hate thing in the past. Some are super pushy and borderline bully you into accepting a job if they can.
A close friend of mine has lost their job recently due to COVID-19 related layoffs, and is now in a very vulnerable position both economically and psychologically. Enter recruiters.
This particular recruiting firm in my city is quite notorious for being unpleasant. I just hate how they treat people, and specially in my friend's case, pushing them for information like their previous salary when the recruiter doesn't even have a job lead!
I know they work commission and really want to close the $$$, but sheesh! So irritating!6
(Spoilers about Ready Player one here)
I watched Ready Player One in 4DX AND IT COSTED AN UNHOLY FUCKING AMOUNT OF MONEY!
yet it was THE BEST MOVIE Ive ever watched, AND I MEAN IT! IT WAS SO FUCKING GREAT! THE CGI THE ACTORS!
STEVEN DID AN EXCELLENT JOB!
and as a Trekkie I LOVED the scene of Hallidays death I mean his coffin WAS A FUCKING PHOTON TORPEDO! and in the Last scene you could see a bat'leth HOW HOW COOL WAS THAT!
And dont get me started on all the other References like the Holy Handgranade, Rubiks Cube, FUCKING BATMAN HELPING SOMEONE CLIMBING, Minecraft OASIS edition, Halo... I CANT ITS TOO MUCH!1
Is there a polite and appropriate way to tell your superior he needs to wear some fucking deodorant? It's affecting my god damn performance every time he comes close to my cube9
having a stress ball is cute, but it is frustrating and stressful to have it rolling away if not careful...
That is why I have stress cubes :p2
My 20 rubber apparently ducklings arrived.. Yes, its a standard 3x3 cube..
Anyone know where i can purchase a bigger duck for around $5 without paying $12 for shipping?4
I have a Rubik’s cube that I solve when I need to clear my mind. That thing passes time SERIOUSLY well.2
pgAdmin 4: I don't know what shit they used to build you and I don't give a light fuck, you fucking suck!! 😤😤5
Yesterday I was invited to rackspace's offices in San Antonio.
Their people are so nice and they're full of great culture. That's truely a fanatical support those guys offer, also their IT security team is so reliable, they take their work really serious and I mean REALLY serious, I'd love to work at rackspace some day.
Best place ever.1
1. Pop breth mints to cover the smell of Jack in my coffee.
2. Headphones + NPR because my cube farm is loud AF and the owners idiot son sits right next to me watching YouTube comedy all day.
3. Check calander and commit log while VS loads our 100 project solution.
4. Get cracking
Rubics cube, standard format and also another one that changes cube shape (mirror cube) but most of the time just i don't have toys or stuff, just a bunch of notebooks and books all over the place.
After a rough buggy day at work thought of refreshing my mind by playing with the rubic cube,damn mistake ever the cube proofed to me how my mind was frozen.
Improving the inviting feel and quality of my cube, one carefully placed and effective sticker at a time.
Thank you @dfox + team!2
Rubik's cube, fidget cube, pipelike fidget toy, a bunch of happy meal toys, another bunch of Kinder egg toys, BB8 paper cup from ANA airplane..collection of lighters & tons of paper notebooks - doodles & my handwriting are each a very rare and unique art form noone quite understands.. 🤣🤣🤣
Last position has me paranoid. Kept my cube mate in the conference room after the staff meeting. That's how me getting fired off my last project started.
Ok this one have been bought by adobe but its source are still freely available and you dont have to pay a premium for the full feature.
I really love that editor because of the interface, i mean there is tons of editor and this one is not the lightweighter nor the fastest (in particular on opening). But it is still nice to write code with it and i dont feel like i am torturing myself every time i write a piece of js code.1
I'm so over Fibonacci demos. It's become the Northwind database of algorithm examples.
Maybe a Rubik's Cube solver as a change of pace, perhaps?6
Or fake compiler?
Fix a problem?
Or buy a new computer?
Bring a flash drive?
Or bring a hard drive?
Use water cooling?
Or use an ice cube on top a processor and memory?
Drink some coffee?
Or eat a healthy breakfast?
Do you make hardware?
These are the problems programmers face from old people as employers or relatives trying to find something to relate to.
nothing interesting really I kinda like minimalism but I keep a rubik's cube, a wooden puzzle and a dice on my other desktop
Any easy solution to solve the rubix cube? I saw some videos on YouTube but dint find any convincing algo which is easy to remember..3
@Haxk20 did you finish your 8x8 LED Cube? I am going to build one. Maybe i'm gonna use your code.11
How can i throw cube my completely different direction on every click while maintaining restruction shown by cyan lines4
HI DEVRANT WORLD :D
I finally finished my 3D modeled/printed rubik's cube
now i just need a good place to upload the files so I can track the downloads, I already have it on grabcad, does anyone else know of another site I can place the files on??? please help1
I wonder if it'd be possible to use the fidgets on the fidget cubes as controllers or programmable buttons.if that were possible what would u use each of the items on the fidget cube for
It's does not take a huge amount of knowledge and skill to get a program working.Kids in high school do it all the time. young men and women in college start billion-dollar business based on scrabbling together a few lines of PHP or Ruby. Hoards of junior programmers in cube farms around the world slog through massive requirements documents held in huge issue tracking systems to get their systems to "work" by the sheer force of will. The code they produce may not be pretty; but it works. It works because getting something to work-once-just is not that hard.
My first 3D model, https://grabcad.com/library/...
can someone give me some advice on it and how to improve (disregard the parts about grad project that's just school related) I just want to know how to get better at the modeling
a while ago i was seeing about help for a 3D modeling project. Here is the first draft.
Let me know what you think or some ideas for improvements