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Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁59
This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11
*Theoretical computer scientist is at an interview.*
Interviewer: “Imagine that you are walking down a road and see a house on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: “I dial the police and tell them that the house is on fire.”
Interviewer: “Good. Now, imagine that you are walking down the same road, and you see that the same house is not on fire. What do you do?”
CS Guy: *Ponders for a little while.* “I put the house on fire, thus reducing it to a problem I’ve solved before.”2
That "WOW" feeling when your rant crosses 1k mark and is one of the top 10 rants ever... #awesome #lifegoals
Link to shower more ++s: https://devrant.io/rants/163332/...4
Presenting my paper on PHP Security in IEEE conference today... Wish me luck. I hope it gets published 😃🤞4
Want to Google io earlier this month and a senior director at Google game a presentation and used a chrome dino for a demo and after I found him on LinkedIn and asked her m where I could buy one and he asked for my address and sent me one for free. Idc what any of you say Google is really cool for doing this.14
Okay i'm done - YOU FUCKING ANDROID STUDIO MORONS. Being at a high level in C++, I tried to do some android coding. THERE ARE FUCKING NO GOOD TUTORIALS, NO GOOD DOCS, HECK, THE SELF GENERATED CODE OF THE IDE IS WRONG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON YOU FUCKING MORONS?
oh wait, let me first import android.widgets.rant;
or was it android.widgets.devrant.rant; or was it android.dr.rant.RantManager;?
Oh wait, I know lets search the docs?
OH WAIT THE DOCUMENTATION DOESNT HAVE THAT.
NOW HOW ABOUT I JUST TRY THE EXAMPLE CODE? WELL UH-UH! YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT YOURSELF WHAT TO IMPORT IN ORDER FOR IT TO WORK. ALSO, WHAT FUCKING UP WITH THAT PERMISSION SYSTEM? ITS SO BADLY DOCUMENTED!!!
Oh wait, I'm sure that I have to change something in this file... or was it that other file?
how dare they have style and design guidelines?
I will resort to implement my app idea in godot, idc anymore... I don't want to burn out because I used the "official high standard" tech.
it definitely isn't high standard and definitely not good. Thank you morons@google
THANK YOU FOR NOTHING
A FRAMEWORK WHERE I NEED 2 DAYS TO FIGURE OUT TO ADD EVENT LISTENERS TO MY THINGS IS DEFINITELY NOT ONE I'D LIKE TO USE.
also, whats up with
AudioRecord (int audioSource, int samplerateInHz, int channelConfig, int audioFormat, int bufferSizeInBytes);
ARE WE BACK IN THE C ERA? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO IMPLEMENT SOME SIMPLE FUCKING ENUMS????
WHATS THE POINT OF AN OOP LANGUAGE IF YOU ARE GOING TO USE IT LIKE C?
Oh wait I found a tutorial ... First trigger: "java scripts". Second trigger: this guy LITTERALLY ONLY TEACHES YOU HOW TO PLACE WIDGETS ON THE CANVAS. THANKS FOR NOTHING SHERLOCK!
Oh btw: did you know that android studio gives the best error messages?
"Error: illegal start of expression"
NO ERROR MESSAGE - NOTHING!
YOU BETTER USE THE IDE OR YOU GO HOME YOU FUCKER!!!
Oh and btw: if you want to read the best documentation - the code itself YOU GOTTA AGREE TO OR TERMS OF SERVICE!!!! WE DONT WANT ANYBODY TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT US KNOWING!!!!!
THANK YOU GOOGLE FOR NOTHING!
thanks godot for *atleast* existing. You are the... last pick i'd pick, but :shrug:, I have experienced android studio now.
If anybody has any advice on what to use instead, please go ahead. And you better not tell me how good you are at android studio. I DONT CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU CAN IMPLEMENT IN ANDROID STUDIO. I JUST WANT SOMETHING THAT IS USABLE WITHOUT HAVING TO BE EXTRA CAREFUL WHEN DOING *ANYTHING*!!!!
Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.
Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?
Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.28
Recruiters and HR plz note there is difference between Web Developer and Web Designer... I repeat there is difference between Developer and Designer.10
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4
Colleagues sharing passwords.That was a big fat NO when I was a sysadmin - and for a good reason. But now, since I'm closer to development, it feels like no one really cares about the passwords. If I tell my colleague I'll take 10 minutes more because I can't log in, he OFFERS me his credentials. And sends them over saying "in case you need it". [the next day the same colleague was complaining his account is locked out. Oh, wonders! How on Earth...!]
But seriously, password sharing is a serious problem. I would fire the person on spot if I caught him sharing his credentials! This is the 8th deadly sin! IDC if they are for non-prod. Most people reuse their passwords in multiple systems, and even non-prod envs can bring the prod down! Or worse - install a trojan.15
TFW you see Apple selling display stands for 999$ and you don't care because you never have to use an Apple device anyways.3
I copy a line from one spec (to create a user) and paste it in another spec. It works just dandy in the first, and throws MySQL missing column errors in the other.
This codebase is full of shit like this. Things work in one place but not another, and it’s never obvious why. Tens of thousands of gotchas and quirks. The only way I can get an answer to things like these is to either beg my boss for an explanation, which I’m sure he’s long since tired of, or spend a full day (or more) wading through several rabbit holes filled with raw sewage.
I wasted two hours today trying to get a simple fucking factory to work. And you know what? I just gave up and used the existing admin user. Yeah it’s a bad idea, but it’s fucking good enough.
They can yell if they want.
I have no cares left.15
There is power cut in my college area sometimes...
Once we were in computer lab, when power cut occurred. So fan, tubelights went off.
I heard one girl ask her friend "how are laptops on?"
That moment.... Only I know how I controlled my laugh....1
Explaining my mom about my job as backend developer... She couldn't understand what is there behind the website. She was like "u designed the website. It's done. What u do full day?"
Finally I gave an example of restaurant... I am the cook(backend developer). Front-end is waiter. Finally she understood....6
Worst sleep of my life last night.
Freezing cold, weak, sore, can’t think, starving but can’t eat or drink, as low energy as a dead Chinese “heavy duty” battery.
Finished some changes to my feature today anyway; everything should be done now. Refactored some specs, and got them all to pass.
Falling asleep on my closet floor. Heavy winter coat, fuzzy pants, space heater. It’s warm in here and there’s a shelf for my lappy. Floor is uncomfortable but idc. I’m so tired and out of it I don’t even notice.
At least I have the rest of the week off.21
MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....8
Just found an admin portal online. There was a modal asking for password, but in background the portal was visible. ctrl + shift + i and then closed the modal.
Voila, the whole portal and actions are accessible. Seriously, who develops things like these?
I am pretty sure it's vulnerable to sqli and xss too.8
I started hearing about Git about a few years ago (I think I was in the first or second class of my study, am in the fifth now). I understood the concept but found it really hard to work with, as in, so hard that I just didn't use it. It kept coming back again and again and a few months ago I thought: Fuck it.
What is one thing that a lot of devs are good at? Automation, exactly. So, I had a GitLab account (idc about their recent fuckup, will keep using it) and had to keep asking people to set stuff up for me.
I started to do research and stumbled upon the empty repo page from GitLab which provided clear instructions on how to locally do stuff so I could interact with a remote repository. Then I started to bash script.
After one day, I had a fully working bash script which, with just two parameters, initiates a new repo, clones it locally, creates a README.MD and commits + pushes it.
Then I put it as executable in the /usr/bin.
So now, whenever I start a new project, I just have to create a directory, go into that directory and call a command with two parameters and I'm good to go!
Actually pretty proud of that, although it might be the most usual thing for a lot of peoples, I wrote a workaround/automation thingy for the thing I find the hardest in development :).25
these are the kinds of commits i have to deal with :|
like "it's already past 5 o'clock! i have to leave!"8
They always say "Stop wasting time".
They always say "Just use the tools we are all using".
They always say "I get it, you're the OSS guy. IDC, go to work now".
They always say "I hope you won't be logging this time on our customer's timesheet".
And they always come back to me "Look, I've heard that tool you've made/found is really cool and efficient, saves lots of trouble and makes us go faster. Can you send it to me via slack? TIA"
I see things that could/should work better and I make them do exactly that. It's my gift. It's my curse.3
Got rejected in interview for Web developer... Interviewer showed company website and asked if it's made in html or WordPress... I said html which was wrong...
Am I incompetent? How can I predict the platform just by looking at UI...?30
Had last paper today... Finally 4 yrs of engineering comes to an end. I am a proud computer engineer....17
I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.
You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.
You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.
You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.
And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.
Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.
That’s what’s wrong with PHP.8
"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"
HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.
STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU4
I just signed up to get this off my chest.
Dear Windows, you god damn moronic, ugly, unuseable abomination of an excuse for an OS. I wonder how we could end up here in this situation. You suck, in every way imaginable. I didnt choose Linux or Mac, you made me do it.
I know no other OS that can screw you up this bad when setting up. My friend is an experienced windows user and the last install took him 2 days. I just spend the last day trying to get this uncompatible sucker installed. I manage to set up an hackintosh quicker than I was able to install Windows the last three times I checked, you scumbag.
Your error messages suck ass, there is nothing I cant figure out given enough time, except your useless hints and pathetic attemps to get anything done on your own.
And you are fucking slow. Just why, do you keep installing stuff I didnt ask you to. Now I got this ugly ass Bing-Toolbar because I missed a damn checkbox in an .exe, which could have also been an exploit, you never know.
You are cluttered with useless stuff. I dont care about you lame ass app store, idc about your cortana annoying spy assistant and I certainly dont care about your forced updates.
Just sit back and feel your PC getting slower every day by background processes. Watch your productivity decline while dealing with their brain dead privilege and file system.
You ugly malformed mutation of software. When I look at your UI I feel disgust while wondering how you can fail with the most basic principles of UX.
How pathetic, badly supported, bug ridden and dangerously unsecure can an OS be you ask while trying to navigate through the settings, a pile of legacy software debt this garbage pile was build on. And your shell... what a sick joke.
I hate you Windows. For screwing other OS with your asshole boot manager, hardware driver requirements and making people send me .zip and .docx. You should be embarrassed to charge money for this unfunctional junk, but you do, a lot.
I really try to see the positive here. You got all the software, but thats not on you, thats because all those poor suckers are trapped with you and the effort to change is too big.
This OS is the most disappointing thing technology could come up with today. I would rather set myself on fire than work with this pain in the ass software professionally. I mean if you are a serious developer at some point you have to admit that you just cant develop on windows. You will get fucked 5 times as often as any Mac or Linux user. Fuck you, Windows.
Hey Microsoft, thanks for Typescript and VSCode and all the other good things you have done. But burn in hell for what you have done to all of us with this piece of shit OS.10
My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.
I wish he doesn't come back only....3
Is "++i" more efficient or "i++" ?
P.S. I already wasted more cpu cycles by posting this, than I would ever waste by using either of them....8
That moment when you make heads turn, coz you are using laptop with loads of devRant sticker on it in metro.....
Boss: some consultants worked on this feature extending some legacy code
Boss: it's 90% done
Boss: they used FTP. It uses iframes and we fired them when they couldn't get the frontend modules working in sync with the backend.
Me: git checkout -b herewegoagain
git diff-tree --no-commit-id --name-only -r 666w3wl4d
*copy output list of files to sublime text 3; select all lines; add to each:
gitk --follow [filename] > src/.notes/herewegoagain/[filename].diff
Me: It's -10% done. you'll know I'm almost done when I enter the fugue state. You'll find me at this address. Give me this USB stick and a 4 pack of redbull and I'll do the merge.6
What the fuck?
Yea, lets give the (in my opinion corrupt) police the full power to do just about everything - Oh and if you are not christian, bad for you we also put crosses everywhere you look now.
WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK? Why in the flying fuckworld is it possible to do such changes to the law without listening to "intelligent" (intelligent == people with a bit of common sense) people?
Same happened when europe wanted to give robots basic human rights (luckily they gave up on that after scientists wrote a paper)
This REALLY isnt a world I want to live in.17
Sorry guys, I don't really care if something is open or closed source. Code just needs to work well.7
Ya know what I hate? People who always find an excuse to let people know about their problems or if they are vegan.
Every time I'm like, THANKS! DIDN'T ASK!4
Working on Sunday because deadline is next week.
P.S. We got project yesterday.... Wish me luck.....2
today I spent an hour and a half (30 mins past my paid hours) explaining go my boss that I'm not just being rebellious; that the time I'm taking to do the job right is appropriate and the only way to end up with a piece of software that they'll be able to request features for without adding on to the absolute shit pile frankenkrakken that is their mutated 13 year old OSCOMMERCE dumpsterfire.
I convinced him.
Had to fix a bug in flask App built by 3 ppl !
So I some how roughly figured out the code and was trying to fix.
The bug was
I click on submit, two times the record was entered into database.
(Second time, duplicate error).
So to figure out ,I just commented the code which inserts to DB!
Now only one record is inserted!
I still don't know where it's actually inserting !, And IDC , problem fixed
Shall I boast about my skills!?😂3
My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?10
DevRant-Stats Site Update:
Future projections & Live General Section
Added some future projections like SocialBlade, where you can see your score in the future, according to the stats in the last 30 days. Therefore it will only be available after storing the stats for 30 days.
Also made the complete "General" section live now, and replaced "Live Score" with "Devrant++ Member since".
So now the values are updating every second! (Using EventStream so not working in Edge Browser lol idc)
Feedback is appreciated!23
I don't get what's happening with trolls here. Or people who are trying to be trolls.
Ostream got brutally trolled and deleted his account. Then came back with an alt account.
Same with Alexanderr, Nanos, Chaosesqueteam.
I am not siding with anyone, idc who's right or who's wrong, but there's one golden rule for trolling that you should know, before u attempt to be one -
If you can't handle people clapping back at you or if you don't have thick skin, then don't bother.16
Tech head fires a mail few days company is planning a hackathon. Overnight at office, with food, music and home drop offs in morning. We devs feel excited we will get time to work on our personal projects and complete them.
Yesterday, tech head fires a mail about the topics. Guess what? The topics are projects which company needs to scale up... Image recognition and text extraction. Selenium. Esign.
Now I am searching for an excuse to skip the hackathon...4
That moment when your rant has gone so viral that you have to force close devRant app. Coz your phone is buzzing every half an hour....10
in the early 2000's I started installing Firefox on my high school's computers. about a month later it was being deployed to every one of them2
Software developers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problem.
3 database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later, they walked out. Because they couldn't find a table.
If the box says:
"This software requires Windows xp or better."
Does that mean it will run on Linux?1
DevRant poll time!
Do you prefer dark phones or white phones?
Getting the Google Pixel 2 XL and can't choice between Panada and the black version. Also idc about the screen not being vibrant.24
I hate all the hate, violence, and abuse in the world. I live somewhat close to one of the recent mass shootings and I’m fortunate to not have known anyone involved. But I wish we’d just stop trying to point fingers and actually do something about the mental health here. All the Racism, Sexism (on both sides), and mental health that goes unchecked genuinely makes me sad. And this bullshit with Walmart taking down any advertisements for “violent video games” but still selling guns is horse shit. Idc if you sell the guns but if you’re going to fuck over video games for nothing because they’re never the cause, then stop selling guns if you’re rolling off this bullshit logic.
I hope everyone is safe and doing okay.10
Web security checklist:
Don't forget to bleach your eyes after reading...4
Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job.
techmmm, comes, selects me off a 5 min interview for an internship. The guy i am talking doesnt know half of the things i am talking about, dont know why they put such people up for these jobs.
After getting selected,
No stipend cos “quarantine”
No laptops nothing cos “quarantine times”
No fucking respect either
Asks us to join if we want to or leave, note that this is before we even asked any of these questions.
Expects us to work for 8 fucking hours everyday build a project for them which will make them a lot of money and the credit will probably be given to some idiot employee.
Cant even complain to the college about this, bitch i have slogged a lot these past years you cant expect me to join a company which offers a ppo less than the monthly saalry of other companies and still have a dont care attitude.
Idc what anyone says noone is learning shit after joining. Why do you have this attitude man, what great are you offering.
When a Google image search on your company name turns up more images of "ME" than the co-founders... Amazing feeling... One of the perks of working in start ups...2
Just found out that I have been reassigned to maintain an in house shitty project... It's full of crap code, no documentation, has lot of duct tapes to keep the project together and 20+ open bugs and issues...
I am so happy with my current project. But my manager is always pissed off at me for no apparent reason.
Fuck this shit... Any excuse or advice to dodge this BS project? Can't quit job, I am getting payed alot here.7
I don't know how many of you have faced this but fuck college student entrepreneurs!
Every one of these fuckers is all about the hustle and the grind which mainly involves them sitting on their ass and approaching me with ideas that they think will revolutionize the world
AND WHY'RE ALL YOUR IDEAS CENTERED AROUND SOCIAL NETWORKS? DO I LOOK LIKE FREAKIN ZUCKERBERG (I probably bombed the spelling but IDC)
I decided to work on a project (can't disclose any information cause the idiot had me sign a paper or some shit) and they gave me and 2 other devs a task of creating FUCKING ANGELLIST
look man, could be an easy task for your "business team" of 7 to give that task but do you really expect me to work with 2 loud mouthed freshmen who don't know shit and give you a finished product? I DONT THINK SO
That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....
*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working....
# NEED SUGGESTIONS
I am working on a secure end to end encrypted note taking web application. I am the sole developer and working on weekends and will make it open source.
The contents you save will be end to end encrypted, and server won't save the key, so even I can't read or NSA or CIA.
So I wanted to know if the idea is good? There are lot of traditional note sharing apps like Google Keep and Evernote. But they store your stuff in plaintext. So as a user will u switch to this secure solution?14
Doing a talk on 'Security in PHP' and live demo on web attacks and safeguard tips this Saturday. Any tips fellow Ranters...?13
im in the "idc anymore" phase of the sine-curve of my programming mood
which sucks coz ive a lot of things I need done rn and this shit will last days/weeks.3
Completed 1 year of experience in web designing and development today...
I haven't even passed out yet. I am still in 4th year computer engineering....
Hands on experience teaches me more than college lectures....
I'm studying atm and I survived Haskell, SKI, ... now, in the second semester we started with Python (yeay ♡) and Java (that's fine).
One of the first exercises is about installing Jython ('cause it's good, right? /sarcasm off), using the lecturer's module and write some code for it. It's about painting some shitty graphics *gasp*...
I use PyCharm (not really necessary for these crappy exercises) and programming on Windows and/or Linux.
Downloaded Jython, installed it, set it as interpreter - works fine (win10, pycharm).
Some students got weird errors using linux - for me it's the same but meh Idc.
Today I tried using Jython on my notebook, too (win10, pycharm). Downloaded it from the Jython Project website. Can't update pip, can't run modules - error is about fckin charsets...
Some other student figured out - wrong version of Jython. The newer version has some bug fixes.
2.7.1 is the one and only - the download section of their website offers 2.7.0 as latest release...
So - how to know there is a version 2.7.1?
#1 version control website = Wikipedia
So... there is a blog, guy's writing about this release - this installer is hosted at maven central. Yeay. Obvious. Thanks.
Can't describe such stupidity - maybe it's the user again 😂
Any mid-class phone recommendations?
I want a good battery and relatively okay performance. Any android device, between 150-350€ maybe.
(Idc about camera etc)9
So this was a conversation.
tl;dr You can't just FUCKING RECOMPILE for an older OpenGL version you dimwit!
Context: Person Y has OpenGL 3.1, my program requires OpenGL 2.1, but refused to launch with "Pixel format not accelerated"
Person X - Today at 9:28 PM
or optionally compile it for old opengl
Or just use my old junk.
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
You don't just "compile it for old opengl"
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
For one, Person Y has an OGL version new enough so... /shrug
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
And there is no way I'm ripping the rendering code apart and re-doing everything with glBegin, glVertex, glEnd guff
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
You don't have to
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
Just use a vbo
Than a vba
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
I ALREADY USE FUCKING VBOS
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
There's two typws
Btw one with indacys and one with out
Ones 3.0 ones 4.0
Me - Today at 9:31 PM
tl;dr. I am not rewriting half of everything for worse performance just for the sake of being compatible with even more legacy OGL, that might not even work anyway for Person Y. idc
Person X - Today at 9:32 PM
Plus if your using glut you can set the version I want to say
Also it's not worse
<Some more conversation>
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Btw crafted [Me] taking th lazy way as normal
Me - Today at 9:33 PM
Taking the lazy way eh.
You have no idea do you
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Yes you are
I have more of one :p
Than you think2
The girl at the bottom needs a tooltip above her:
Too much division fellow devs.
We will never know world peace until 3 people can look each other in the eye...Simultaneously
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.4
Nintendo...and their sins are trivial compared to the human QoL exploitations by big apps.
Take your pick:
Grew up as a total Miyamoto fanboy, RIP sweet prince. I'm not even complaining about the copy-paste mentality with their games (because they're still fun and polished)
I'm honestly confounded by their petty attempts to knick the pennies of youtube content creators; it's seemingly blind, principal-based pride. In a utilitarian sense, their behaviors are contrary to the big picture. So I just shake my head and game on desktop. GG.
I'm thinking about starting a blog. Though I have no interest in building it myself, esp. when we already have plenty blogging platforms out there.
What blog platform would you recommend?3
I love searching for things like "which is the best online learning site" on the Internet and seeing strongly opinionated answers. Like, I don't need your political correctness telling me that it depends! I just need your opinion based on your personal experience! This is why I love Reddit and other discussion sites.
I need a task queue for my life. A 'The Sims' style set of icons om desktop OS that breaks down into details, checklists, related pages I've visited/researched. cross platform so I can keep track on my phone.
I'm not to big to admit I need skynet to keep me on the tracks
I've been trying to leave DoD for a couple of months now. Translating my 10 year's experience with complex Intelligence enterprise level systems to something relatable to the civilian IT world. Grabbed a few certs to help out A+, network+ and security+ with Linux+ as my next target. Photos of me working on unclassified systems, radios, cell towers and servers. I'm a teacher for military UAS so this shouldn't be to hard to get even a basic job in IT right.
No one will hire...
Linux admin: Nope
Network admin: Nope
Assistant Network admin: Nope
IT call service: Nope
Pool cleaner fucking nope
Many interviews and nothing
I'm broke and sold all of my personal valuables. I can't hold out much longer and really looking at becoming homeless. But I'm kinda ok with it, one last payment on my apartment and car is all I can do now. My parents think I'm in Afghanistan working a six figure job lol
DoD: we see you're trying to leave we'll pay you alot to teach A+, Network+ and Security+ traveling all across the country and staying at hotels with all expenses paid.
FU FU FU I want out please tell me someone has a job, I'll be a janitor of a server room Idc I just want out. Fuck the pay
I start Tuesday...4
Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".
Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.
Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?
Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into.
Using CodeWriter (the one from windows store) since a few days for small tasks (like editing an xml or yaml etc) and i like it.
Yep vim guys, u hate me now, but idc ^^
I wrote my first proper promise today
I'm building a State-driven, ajax fed Order/Invoice creation UI which Sales Reps use to place purchases for customers over the phone. The backend is a mutated PHP OSCommerce catalog which I've been making strides in refactoring towards OOP/eliminating spahgetti code and the need for a massive bootstrapper file which includes a ton of nonsense (I started by isolating the session and several crucial classes dealing with currency, language and the cart)
I'm using raw JS and jquery with copious reorganization.
I like state driven design, so I write all my data objects as classes using a base class with a simple attribute setter, and then extend the class and define it's attributes as an array which is passed to the parent setter in the construct.
I have also populateFromJson method in the parent class which allows me to match the attribute names to database fields in the backend which returns via ajax.
I achieve the state tracking by placing these objects into an array which underscore.js Observe watches, and that triggers methods to update the DOM or other objects.
Sure, I could do this in react but
1) It's in an admin area where the sales reps using it have to use edge/chrome/Firefox
2) I'm still climbing the react learning curve, so I can rapid prototype in jquery faster instead of getting hung up on something I don't understand
3) said admin area already uses jquery anyway
4) I like a challenge
Implementing promises is quickly turning messy jquery ajax calls into neat organized promise based operations that fit into my state tracking paradigm, so all jquery is responsible for is user interaction events.
The big flaw I want to address is that I'm still making html elements as JS strings to generate inputs/fields into the pseudo-forms.
Can anyone point me in the direction of a library or practice that allows me to generate Dom elements in a template-style manner.4
We devs are installing adblockers. Meanwhile, Google shareholders are clicking all ads to increase Google's revenue...
Awesome feature by devRant...
You can't post your password in rants or comments... See:
My password is ***********
Try now! When you post you can see the password, but others will only see '*'.
-If you fell for this, u r a noob.16
PHP gurus / masochists.
I've been using Symfony components for new, isolated features in a legacy php application for awhile now. the time has come to integrate using the kernel, and routing for new endpoints while existing endpoints use the existing apache means of loading pages.
It's not my first rodeo doing this, but I'd appreciate any wisdom/resources/patterns you followed for anyone who's had to do the same.
My clients don't have the means to do hire the appropriate ammount of devs to do a proper port, so this is a long path towards modernization by ceasing to bolt on features to existing code and instead, when working on something, updating it to the new design pattern and then extending that, with a spec, documentation and code coverage.3
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace
Multiplayer 3D engine architects:
While building the inital engine of your team's renderer and network systems, what were the most helpful things members of your team could provide?1
React/Angular may have been a better call but I just didn't have time so I needed to rapid prototype in jquery /vanilla JS.
I'm in the midst of learning and refactoring all the ajax calls to promises and then to async/await, so it's a huge learning experience...
Meanwhile I've got to build objects to represent the data on the backend which is all legacy OScommerce/PHP
Hell of a ride.
Any web developer from Canada? Thinking to shift there next year... Just wanted to know the work culture and opportunities there..
I'm just going to graduate, and I got a job as S/W engineer(trainee) in a small (500 odd employees) company, which uses salesforce, SAP and sharepoint technologies! They are most probably gonna put me in salesforce or SAP. Is it good enough for `me`(read my background), I'm kind of confused, should I go for higher studies?
very average student, but swift at learning technologies, never really got interested in competitive (otherwise I had a real good chance in top companies), I kind of have good IT skills - proficient in python and angularJS, but recently I have got into ML and done some projects!
Okay here's the part, I know it's important for a fresher to be good in data structures, I'm indeed good in parts which I have used! I haven't used AVL tree in any of my projects so I don't know, nor I have ever used bitwise ops!
I think I want to get into roots of ML (some people say I'm fickle but IDC), I think if I take the above job I may loose my interests or may not have time, Please advice.
(sorry for the tags but I need advice from people for all these fields)11
@dfox I am not getting push notifications on my new oneplus 3t.... What to do?
I used android migrate feature to auto login apps from my last phone...9
Management that understands and respects the true virus like nature of technical debt. Considers the implications of bolting on more features. Gives me a place at the table in decision making regarding these matters.
Don't settle for any less.