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Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.
As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.
You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.
You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.
You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.
In other words:
Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.
HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.34
Wife discovered MS Paint on her laptop.
She asked me how long the ink would last and how to recharge it when it's finished.
I love her anyway.11
Windows Search: Paint
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk13
I absolutely HATE "web developers" who call you in to fix their FooBar'd mess, yet can't stop themselves from dictating what you should and shouldn't do, especially when they have no idea what they're doing.
So I get called in to a job improving the performance of a Magento site (and let's just say I have no love for Magento for a number of reasons) because this "developer" enabled Redis and expected everything to be lightning fast. Maybe he thought "Redis" was the name of a magical sorcerer living in the server. A master conjurer capable of weaving mystical time-altering spells to inexplicably improve the performance. Who knows?
This guy claims he spent "months" trying to figure out why the website couldn't load faster than 7 seconds at best, and his employer is demanding a resolution so he stops losing conversions. I usually try to avoid Magento because of all the headaches that come with it, but I figured "sure, why not?" I mean, he built the website less than a year ago, so how bad can it really be? Well...let's see how fast you all can facepalm:
1.) The website was built brand new on Magento 22.214.171.124...what? I mean, if this were built a few years back, that would be a different story, but building a fresh Magento website in 2017 in 1.x? I asked him why he did that...his answer absolutely floored me: "because PHP 5.5 was the best choice at the time for speed and performance..." What?!
2.) The ONLY optimization done on the website was Redis cache being enabled. No merged CSS/JS, no use of a CDN, no image optimization, no gzip, no expires rules. Just Redis...
3.) Now to say the website was poorly coded was an understatement. This wasn't the worst coding I've seen, but it was far from acceptable. There was no organization whatsoever. Templates and skin assets are being called from across 12 different locations on the server, making tracking down and finding a snippet to fix downright annoying.
But not only that, the home page itself had 83 custom database queries to load the products on the page. He said this was so he could load products from several different categories and custom tables to show on the page. I asked him why he didn't just call a few join queries, and he had no idea what I was talking about.
4.) Almost every image on the website was a .PNG file, 2000x2000 px and lossless. The home page alone was 22MB just from images.
There were several other issues, but those 4 should be enough to paint a good picture. The client wanted this all done in a week for less than $500. We laughed. But we agreed on the price only because of a long relationship and because they have some referrals they got us in the door with. But we told them it would get done on our time, not theirs. So I copied the website to our server as a test bed and got to work.
So I show their developer the changes and he's stunned. He says he'll tell the hosting provider create a new server set up to migrate the optimized site over and cut over to, because taking the live website down for maintenance for even an hour or two in the middle of the night is "unacceptable".
So trying to be cool about it, I tell him I'd be happy to configure the server to the exact specifications needed. He says "we can't do that". I look at him confused. "What do you mean we 'can't'?" He tells me that even though this is a dedicated server, the provider doesn't allow any access other than a jailed shell account and cPanel access. What?! This is a company averaging 3 million+ per year in revenue. Why don't they have an IT manager overseeing everything? Apparently for them, they're too cheap for that, so they went with a "managed dedicated server", "managed" apparently meaning "you only get to use it like a shared host".
So after countless phone calls arguing with the hosting provider, they agree to make our changes. Then the client's developer starts getting nasty out of nowhere. He says my optimizations are not acceptable because I'm not using Redis cache, and now the client is threatening to walk away without paying us.
So I guess the overall message from this rant is not so much about the situation, but the developer and countless others like him that are clueless, but try to speak from a position of authority.
If we as developers don't stop challenging each other in a measuring contest and learn to let go when we need help, we can get a lot more done and prevent losing clients. </rant>14
PM: That screwdriver you built me is really nice. I like how it works with all screws and bolts, does the work itself, etc., but I simply can’t get it to paint, and I really need it to cut my sandwich. Can it cut my sandwich?
PM: Also, since you finished it, the neighbor’s can opener doesn’t work, my dog got fleas, and our screw supplier ran into shipping issues. Fix these ASAP!
Also, remember that hack I forced you to do despite you telling me it wouldn’t work? Yeah it isn’t working. You need to fix that too.20
Just built a custom retropi for the boyfriend for his bday. Custom paint, button, box, splash screen, and games. Fun little project.17
Conversation with my mom the other day:
Mom - How do you use the screenshot button on the keyboard? (She has a Windows work laptop)
Me - Just press it.
Mom - I did that! It didn't do anything.
Me - Lol it's not supposed to do anything. It takes a picture of whatever is on your screen and you have to paste it somewhere like Paint to save the image.
Mom - Ohhh that's too much work. I use Snippit (or whatever the built in Windows screenshot app is called) and send it to myself in an email.
She takes a screenshot, pastes it in an email, and sends it to herself to save it. Hm.
Then she told me tonight that she needed to screenshot these questions in a quiz she was taking. I kid you not - she took a screenshot of 2 questions at a time, pasted them in an email that she sent to herself, and then printed the email. She did this for 40 questions so she printed out 20 emails with screenshots of quiz questions. She also printed out the 200 page manual she needs to study and deleted the pdf. Mom, seriously? What if you need to find something in that 200 page manual? It's so much easier to ctrl + F to find a specific word or phrase. Ohh it doesn't matter she says, there's an index.21
I was 15 years old and the first year of high school. Everything was new to me and I was such a newbie. At that time I had 2-3 year of programming behind me at an institution where they taught competitive programming. And I knew something about computers. Not much but more than most of my school mates. At that time I wanted to become "super cool hacker".
So we had this very very thought teacher for history which was also our form master. She really knows how to explained everything about history and in an interesting way. But while she was teaching we also had to write down notes from her powerpoints that were on a projector. And occasionally she would wait for us to copy everything and then move on with her lecture. But sometimes she didn't. This was frustrating as hell. The whole class would complain about this because you couldn't take notes down normal, you had to do it at double speed.
But she got one weak spot. She was not very good with computers. Our school computers were locked in some kinda closet so that students didn't have physical access to a computer and were also password protected. So I came up with the plan to plant wireless mouse in her computer so that I could control her mouse. At that time it seemed like SUPER HACKER MASTER PLAN.
So I got an opportunity one time when she left the classroom and let closet where the computer was open. I quickly sneaked the USB of the wireless mouse in the computer and then go back to the seat.
So THE FUN began.
Firstly I would only go back in powerpoint so that all my schoolmates could write down notes including me. And it was hilarious to watch when she didn't know what is happening. So then I would move her mouse when she tried to close some window. I would just move it slightly so she wouldn't notice that somebody else is controlling mouse. And by missing X button just by slight she would click other things and other things would pop up and now she had to close this thing so it became a nightmare for her. And she would become angry at the mouse and start complaining how the computer doesn't work and that mouse doesn't obey her.
One time when she didn't pay attention to her computer and projector I went to paint program and drew a heart and wrote we love you (In Slovenian Imamo vas radi -> See the picture below) and one of my school mates has the picture of it. We were all giggling and she didn't know what is was for. And I managed to close everything before she even noticed.
So it got to the point where she couldn't hand it more so she called our school IT guy so that he would check her computer (2 or 3 weeks passed before she called IT guy). And he didn't find anything. He was really crappy IT guy in general. So one week passed by and I still had messed with her mouse. So she got a replacement computer. Who would guessed all the problems went away (because I didn't have another mouse like that). I guess when our IT guy took the computer to his room and really thoroughly check it he found my USB.
So he told her what was the problem she was so pissed off really I didn't see her pissed off so much in all my 4 years in high school. She demanded the apology from whom did it. And at that moment my mind went through all possible scenarios... And the most likely one was that I was going to be expelled... And I didn't have the balls to say that I did it and I was too afraid... Thanks to God nobody from my school mates didn't tell that it was me.
While she waited that somebody would come forward there was one moment when our looks met and at that moment both of us knew that I was the one that did it.
Next day the whole class wrote the apology letter and she accepted it. But for the rest of 4 years whenever was there a problem with the computer I had to fixed it and she didn't trust anybody not even our IT guy at school. It was our unwritten contract that I would repair her computer to pay off my sin that I did. And she once even trusted me with her personal laptop.
So to end this story I have really high respect for her because she is a great teacher and great persons that guide me through my teen years. And we stayed in contact.11
To those who say game is not an art, we paint worlds with ones and zeros in real time that you can get lost in for hours. If this is not art, nothing is.2
Talking with a dev friend:
- I want to create a program. Want to help me?
- Sure, any ideas?
- Yeah, I'd like to create a paint software using Java
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna play Rainbow Six tho?
After playing for 15 mins:
- Holy shit! This game is so buggy. I could make it better
After 3 mins:
- Nah I just realized it'd take too long and no one would use it. Wanna create a paint software using Java?14
So I got bored and decides to screw around with Windows 2000
Also it's freaking hard to draw with laptop's trackpad in Paint8
The man who runs my IT department. The man who is in charge of all things and people that are technical: IT management software development, infrastructure, training, help desk, system administration, etc. A man with a staff of fifty plus. If you were to peel back the flesh on this man's head and crack open his skull you would find dung beetles feasting on the feces that power his thoughts and motor functions. Underneath this foul membrane, if you could push past the maggots; the meal worms; his undying love for hourly binges of Johnny Walker Black on any day of the week with a name that contains a vowel; his fascination with shiny objects and his endless internal monologue wondering when they would hatch rainbow ponies that fly; his desire whenever he enters a paint store to open all the cans of paint and taste the different colors; if you could push past all of the vile crap that exists where Thomas Aquinas once theorized there was a soul, you would find a colony of paramecia at the end of their short lives laughing hysterically at how much smarter they were than the host they lived in.
This man was in charge of hiring the Manager of Software Development. The manager I report to. After seven months of ignoring this chore; after interviewing the sum total of four candidates; after making a point to tell myself and a colleague that there was no one qualified to fill this position within our company (an opinion that is both untrue and, when spoken, runs afoul of internal hiring policies) this man hired a soulless cretin with no experience in software development or with running a software development group. A man who regularly confuses web servers and SQL servers. A man who asked me how my previous manager reviewed my work, was told by me that said previous manager read my code, and then replied in his capacity as the manager of software development that "looking at code is a compete waste of time for a manager." A man so without any humanity or reason for being that he will sit silently, creepily, in conference rooms with the lights off waiting for meetings to begin. Meetings he has scheduled. That have no reason for being in the first place. Just like himself.
Shortly before the man in charge offered the Dev Manager job to the simulacrum of human flesh that is my manager, he met with me and others who had been involved in the interview process. When I informed him that hiring someone with no technical knowledge for a very technical position would be a mistake that he would suffer through for years, he replied in reference to his future hire that "his managerial experience makes up for his lack of technical knowledge."
Best. Prank. Ever. Worst prank ever too. Fuck.6
(Not dev, not rant, although it might become one later on)
So as some of you may know, I am colorblind. I always avoid working with colors because of it. Yesterday I decided to do something I've always wanted, painting. And no I don't mean painting on a canvas but miniatures and other 3D models.
I love catan, I love 3D printing and I thought let's print a catan set and paint it myself, without depending on family to ask for colors.
I've got this German paint tubes and used the wikipedia color descriptions to decide what to paint which color.
The following is the result, its a wheat tile (and in the background a wood tile).
Feel free to give tips and suggestions. If I picked a wrong color please tell me so I can update my tactics.
Finally took this step. Yay25
Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.
Several hours later...
Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
So I got this message months ago, did a screenshot then, thought it's a good idea to share it with you.7
My friend and boss，told me he would teach me code 2 years in a half ago.
I can know create my own module with webpack， have my automated doc， use react， redux， he taught me linux， git，unit testing， databases，docker， and so on...
Im not an expert in any of it butbi know what they are for and can play with them more or less comfortably.
The best advice he ever gave me was:
“coding is not about coding. We are like the greath painters of history. They were great at painting but even more at creating. If you have no creativity， you can paint as well as you want， its worthless.”2
It's hilarious how people complain about exiting Vim being too hard and then being proud of themselves.
Guys.. Not being able to exit a 30 year old text editor doesn't paint the best picture about your intelligence.13
"For those that don't know: Alpine Linux is a security-oriented, lightweight Linux distribution based on musl libc and busy box. The latest version of Alpine Linux v3.3 weighs in at a whopping 5MB. Not bad for a full blown Linux OS considering 5MB is same size as the Windows Start button."
That last sentence made me laugh so badly :D4
At laptop, building a complex task and have my Atom editor opened. Client arrived at my desk.
"That's why the development is so slow. You have to paint all those words."3
I posted a while back about a manager I had who vaped excessively indoors, during meetings, one on ones, etc. He was a total asshole. He was still a total asshole if you overlooked the strawberry scented Cape Canaveral act. This guy was good at CSS, I will give him that, but that's all he was good at. Couldn't comprehend basic JS, scared of jQuery, and would promptly shoot down ANY approach that didn't involve using WordPress. He was also one of the biggest power tripping egotistical know it all mother fucking pieces of shit and worst human beings in general that I've ever met. At least he had paint-by-numbers going for him.
We had a meeting with a client one day that wanted some kind of IRC thing with SMS support. I can't remember exactly what it was now, and it doesn't matter. I had been working on a slack-like clone for months at that point, and it was ok. It was a for-fun kinda thing. Not great by any stretch, but it worked. Mostly. I thought it might be a possible head start for the client's app, so I showed it to my manager.
I didn't get five words out before he's screaming and yelling in front of God and everyone. Customers, colleagues, the owner. "Don't work on anything without my permission ever again". I stood there, shocked. Actually couldn't speak for a couple of minutes. It was the same thing around the now very quiet and awkward open floorplan office. When words found me again, I turned to this sack of shit and said "I need to have a word with you in private". Long story short, I ended up walking out that day.5
I decided to give my old keyboard a makeover. The top bezel used to be silver in color.
I want to code, but I'm stuck here, tearing wallpapers off walls on my new apartment so I can paint the walls before moving all my stuff here10
The last person who might have taken offense at this recently quit, so time for a consequence-free rant. I just want to say...
Fuck absolutely every single one of my teammates who quit this year. Fuck your shitty, undocumented spaghetti code from hell that the rest of us will have to rewrite because it's utterly broken and functions mostly on prayer and luck. Fuck the 1000+ git repos we'll have to rename so we can even begin to tell them apart. Fuck your complete lack of any sort of processes or procedures or standards. Fuck the person who hated tickets and decided we could just have hundreds of people ask us for help on Slack whenever they need it. Fuck the people who quit because we got a new manager who told us we need to support the applications we build. Fuck the person who said "I'm leaving because I want to move forwards instead of backwards" as if fixing bugs in the code YOU WROTE TWO WEEKS AGO is really moving backwards. Fuck the two people who designed their own separate pipelines and then used both without bothering to debate and pick the better one (spoiler: both are completely undocumented and broken as hell).
I hope your various new employers figure out that your strategy of covering shit with gold paint doesn't change the smell.
Now the rest of us have to fix it all, and we're probably going to start by demolishing most of it so we can rebuild it from scratch.12
Hey guys and ladys. I've got another little rant about my teacher.
As some of you may know, i finished my final exams last week, so basically every relevant grade is done. Every teacher except of my special snowflake programming teacher spends the lessons casually talking with us (some even say we dont need to show up anymore).
Little backstory: Grades need to be done on 18th, June and i get my certificate on 22nd.
Back to my rant. Special Snowflake is different. He wants ANOTHER project. This is totally his idea and is nowhere mentioned in our curriculum. It has to be done until next friday, it has to be C# and we need a detailed documentation. This wouldn't be a problem normally - if I wouldn't be moving at the moment. Special Snowflake knows this but doesn't care.
Except from the criteria above he wants it to be:
- loved by everyone. Literally we need to make something EVERYBODY wants in their daily life
- good looking
- everyone should want to pay money for this
How am I supposed to come up with an idea and program the shit out of it in less than 2 weeks, which i need to paint my new office and pack some more stuff.3
Crappy day, entirely related to cars and trucks and other wheeled implements of doom and annoyance.
My car died this morning.
It has been slowly dying for weeks in a very unusual way (something electrical; we're not sure what), but today it finally gave up and just wouldn't start anymore.
We replaced the crap battery (it had been a crap freebie from my parents), which fixed the not-starting issue for now, but it still has lots of other problems. Fluid leaks, disintegrating paint, some lights suddenly or randomly not working, super long clutch distance, sporadic grinding sounds, shifter randomly not engaging, pieces literally falling off, bits of the interior breaking (like the driver's side door handle), the wiper sprayers bloody missing the windshield, etc., etc., etc. My poor, poor car. It was super cheap, and I've had it for a long time, so I'm not surprised, but. I love my car, so it makes me really sad. ☹
Anyway, we finally got the car starting again, and I drove to work about four hours late. I had worked super late the previous night (11:45pm), and had let my boss know already, so whatever.
As for the trip, I work ~40 minutes away, and with the poor quality of drivers here there's usually something dumb happening. Today... well. Today was one of the bad days.
Someone was in the fast lane doing 50mph. The usual speed of traffic is 80mph. They got annoyed whenever someone passed them. Minor, but worth including.
Later on, people slowed way down and gawked at... a port-a-potty. Seriously, a port-a-potty. It was on the shoulder where there had been some construction, so it's not surprising or anything. People seriously dropped from 80mph down to 20mph just to stare at this thing, and it wasn't even occupied or anything. It was just a port-a-potty! There was nothing else around! What could possibly be so interesting?!
There was also a random Penske (moving) truck doing 35mph on the freeway holding up traffic like 10 minutes later; no idea why. Traffic usually does ~70mph there. No blinkers or anything, it was just being slow and causing everyone to go around in a pretty traffic-heavy area.
The truck in front of me for ~40% of the trip kept waiting way too long to stop, and would then slam on the breaks. I almost hit him twice because of this, and I couldn't see around him, either. It was some giant pickup staying just in the wrong spot. I ended up driving partially in the shoulder so I could gauge when to stop by the car in front of him. He slammed on the breaks like twelve more times before he finally left. Jerk.
The same thing happened again like 85% of the way to work, but this time it was a different pickup, and there was a semi was behind me, which obviously couldn't stop very quickly. Fortunately for both of us, there was a gap in traffic to my right, so I slipped out of the way before getting squished. ><
Today has not been fun.
Nobody flipping me off or was doing their damnedest to prevent me from changing lanes today, though, so I suppose it could have been worse. Also I didn't die, so there's that.2
Programming Languages are Like Cars:
Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.
FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.
FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.
COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.
BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.
ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.
Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.
liSP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.
PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.
FORTH: A go-cart.
LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.
APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.
Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.10
So I got an e-mail from a recruiter (a.k.a. recruiter spam) today looking for a candidate with four "essential skills" and my head almost exploded when I read what they were. I have regained my composure just enough to be able to write this rant, but I'm still not myself. I recommend sitting down for this. Are you ready?
The four "essential skills" were:
Java, Jenkins, Eclipse, IntelliJ
I don't know where to begin. Motherfucker, where do you get off telling me which IDE to use? Oh wait, you didn't, you expected me to be an "expert" with two completely different ones, you numb nuts. Why the fuck would I be? I swear to fuck these idiots would probably screen out the best programmer in the world because s/he uses VI/emacs/Atom/Sublime/fucking-Notepad.
I can hear them saying "oh, you don't know IntelliJ? Sorry, we need an expert in that."
Fuck off you filthy cunt! No, sorry, I take that back, I shouldn't be mean to the mentally disabled.
Also, Jenkins? Really? Any developer can pick up how to use Jenkins to its full effect in a matter of hours, or a couple of days at most.
Why do companies hire these jackasses to do a job as important as recruitment? Why do they write job specs that are so incredibly stupid? I almost replied to express interest so I could go to the interview and throw a bucket of red paint on them (because they're making me bleed inside).
Where's the Tylenol?5
A PCB I designed on the job over the last weeks shipped today! A benefit of hardware is the haptic element you have at the end of the design process - you made something touchable. (I am proud.)
Also, errors made earlier in the design process are permanent now. But other than on my software my design got reviewed, so I'm optimistic it'll not contain many if any.
I'm on vacation right now for moving stuff but I'm looking forward to do the "pick'n place" on monday. Soldering manually is quite relaxing for me, you should try it, too! ;)
In other news, I'm no longer sleeping on the floor in my home-office while the paint is drying in other rooms.
I already moved the most of my stuff - books and tech equipment are the worst - and I moved my furniture yesterday.
My new roommates are considerably quieter and my sleeping rhythm is slowly shifting back to normal.10
I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A CREATIVE FIELD! Creativity is emerging new ideas from non-existent ones. It is not confined to pretty designs or well-written copy. Sure, devs are logical problem solvers – but not a single dev will solve those problems the same way. Code is like the paint on our dark-themed canvases and you can see yourself out if you think devs are just robotic coding machines8
Why would someone put Scratch in their skills? Isn’t that like saying “I’m good at Tux Paint” or Windows Movie Maker?4
Why do devs hate windows (and all its products) so much? I mean yaa okay it is a shit os for you to get your development thingies done. Yaa I know its not open source. Yaa I know its not free. Yaa I know a lot of malwares are targetted towards windows. Yaa I know it takes decades to install updates which are released almost every week. And so on....
But wasnt windows the first operating system you laid your hands on? I mean me being a 90s born kid from India, Windows 98 was my first operating system and I was really in love with it as a teenager. MS paint was my playground and I used to go berserk over there. I mean come on. Being a teenager and knowing nothing about how a computer actually works, would you have been able to figure out how to run an NFS on linux? All the kickass presentations made in power point were so in during that time. The first code I ever wrote was in turbo C running on Windows XP. So whoever is bashing Windows and any of their products is a shit person because though Windows is not meant for developers (that too only some) it is a great operating system and I will always root for it in any forum/post where it is being bashed or criticized about. Not a Windows fan-boy (I dont known if there is even such a thing) but Windows is best for non-devs.21
Y'all mother fuckers who use "don't re-invent the wheel" as a tactic to not grow new neurons, as if a ceiling's there — fuck out of my circle.
Those mother fuckers have never even created a single wheel - ever!
Well, ima re-invent any fucking wheel I want, when and where. How I learn is not your fucking busy.
What's even more annoying is that those telling me that shit are pretty much part of the paint on the wall and damn unemployable any where on this earth.13
*removes Paint 3D as well as a bunch of other apps that I never use*
*Windows shits the bed every now and then again, BSOD here and there like the usual piece of shit it is*
After a few of those occurences..
Windows: Oh look, you want to open this PNG image? Well I guess that I'll open it in my newly (re)installed Paint 3D!!!
Me: For real, Microshit. Just how pushy can you fucking be. If I want to edit images, I'll just use the "legacy" fucking Paint for that, thanks!!! No need to convince me anymore, and get this 3D shit out of my fucking system already!!!
PS C:\WINDOWS\system32> Get-AppxPackage *paint* | Remove-AppxPackage
AND NOW JUST FUCK OFF, FUCKING PAINT 3D!!!17
CODING CODING CODING HAHAHA I LOVE PROGRAMMING BEING A LITTLE CODE SLUT. I LOVE SILICON VALLEY IM SUCH A QUIRKED UP LITTLE CODE SHAWTY LOOKING FOR SOME ALGOASS 🍆💦😩.
“Slams fists on keyboard”
I LOVE BEING A CUTE SCREEN TWINK, IMPRESSING PAPI CEO WITH MY FINGER COMBINATIONS. I LOVE PLEASING EXECUDADDY. 🍑😏
“Takes keyboard in hand and slams it against desk until keyboard keys explode everywhere”
I LOVE WATCHING THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT AND CORPORATE AMERICA FUCK MY ASS IN RETURN FOR PERSONAL PROFITS. 🤑☔️
*digs fingernails into the wall and claws off paint and then snorts it”
*pees and shits pants*
*cries in corner with extra agony*22
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!
There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.
We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..10
Gather around folks, I'll paint you a nice picture based on a true story, back from my sysadmin days. Listen up.
It's about HP and their Solaris 5.4/6 support.
- Yet another Prod Solaris dinosaur crashed
- Connected to console, found a dead system disk; for some reason it was not booting on the remaining redundant disk...
- Logged an HP vendor case. Sev1. SLA for response is 30 minutes, SLA for a fix is <24 hours
- It took them 2 days to respond to our Prod server outage due to failed system disks (responses "we are looking into this" do not count)
- it took another day for them to find an engineer who could attend the server in the DC
- The field engineer came to the DC 4 hours before the agreed time, so he had to wait (DC was 4-5 hours of driving away from HP centre)
- Turns out, he came to the wrong datacentre and was not let in even when the time came
- We had to reschedule for two days later. Prod is still down
- The engg came to the DC on time. He confirmed he had the FRU on him. Looks promising
- He entered the Hall
- He replaced the disk on the Solaris server
- It was the wrong disk he replaced. So now the server is beyond rebuild. It has to be built anew... but only after he comes back and replaces the actually faulty disk.
- He replaced that disk on the wrong Solaris server2
Back when I was in school, there was me, these 2-3 other guys, we maintained the school's sites + graphics and what not. If there was a problem, we could solve it. The school hosted big events and the site had over 50k hits in 2 days.
We used PHP then (was a new thing then for us)
Was looking at the schools site now out of nostalgia,
THE SHIT DOESNT EVEN SCALE WELL.
Graphics look like they were made using MS Paint.
Has a prominent 'designed by so n so' who is a student there.
Was checking the source code,
<meta name="generator" content="Zyro - Website Builder" />
FUCKER DIDNT EVEN CODE IT HIMSELF.
I wanna go back to my school and spank those bastards there.
This LITERALLY hurts.4
To new web devs from a new web dev:
Try to design your site before you write a single line of code. Be it Photoshop, Paint, a piece of paper, a literal goddamn canvas, you name it. You may thank yourself for it later.10
Processing is WHAT?!
So is it just me or is processing like the most fun thing to do with coding ? I mean, it's perfect for relax; it's fun like playing games but it still gives you something.
I've never been so keen to code like I am after weekend with processing. OMG!
And it's not just that you can do everything, understand how M$ Paint/Photoshop does things, understand how games work and how EVERYTHING around graphics works, it's also that there are SO MANY REAAAAALLY GOOD resources that you enjoy ""studying"". Things like pong, game of life, Gaussian blur (the one you use in Photoshop daily, yeah, do you understand how it works ?), Painting or edge detection OR ANY OTHER THING RELATING TO GRAPHICS.
It's simply amazing so if you don't know about it, give it at least 10 minutes(at that point, you'll be programming GTA 6/Photoshop 2 or something..), you won't regret it.
Anyaway, feel free to share your creations!10
Let me paint you a picture.
It's the day after code freeze. Code has been branched. It's time once again to verify tickets and run smoke check so we can begin our 3 days of blitz testing before we deploy.
As a team we all have roles to play in this process. Yet, every stinking release it is like pulling teeth to get everyone to take the initiative and verify tickets and run smoke check. Our principled engineer even reached his limit this morning and blew up on everyone.
When you are being paid good money to do a job, you need be an adult, be responsible, step up and do your job!2
Got new stickers today. They say stickers make your computer faster, how'd you explain if you paint a car with flames it runs faster? Check mate, atheists.3
In elementary my teacher gave me bad mark, because instead of painting house in Paint, I was trying to code6
Well crap, i need to make a website for this one startup, but im only a backend developer and even more a pentester
I have less graphic skills than a exploding can of paint
No way can i make the site by just writing code, i NEED graphical tools that help generate the frontend side of things/ drag and drop
Why did i offer to do this...
And for no money may i add12
Trust no one.
The internet is not your friend, until you find stackoverflow and you get down voted.
That rm -rf / won't make you server faster.
System32 is needed.
Yes, that is a package manager, you don't need to write more ccode
Do not write commets on languages that only you speak, the team does not speak in latin.
Paint is the best engineering tool.
Keep a stress ball nearby.
Your client is always right, unless they mess with your coding skills.
Game is underway in unreal engine!
Been doing the art for a ridiculously long time, got help from many people! All sorts of suggestions, and great ones too! I've used paint dot net because it is reliable, Im not a great digital artist but can do a decent job!
So what's happening now is that I'm working on the maps and going to start on the character design tonight.
I have less than a month to get a huge portion done but I hope I execute it at an international standard! :D
Here's a preview of the basic part7
In the Ruhr area (Germany) we have some very old, very strange words with strange meanings. One of those words is ‚Prutscher‘.
A Prutscher refers to a person who does things but never gets a good result, due to lack of knowledge or simple carelessness. Most of the time, Prutschers are people who are interested in certain subjects and often work in the related jobs, but who lack the motivation to properly train themselves, learn what there is to learn and to always keep up with their technologies .
Here are a few examples I've stumbled upon so far in my career:
- Developers in their 60's who read a book about PHP 25 years ago and decided to become a software developer. Since then haven't read anything about it. Who then now build huge spaghetti monoliths for large companies, in which they prefix every function, every variable and constant with their initials and, of course, use Hungarian notation.
- People who read half a fucking tutorial about <insert any fancy js framework here> and start blogging/tweeting about it
- Senior web developers who need to be told what the fuck CORS is and who can't even recognize CORS related errors in their browser console.
- Developers who are the only ones working on Windows in the team and ask their Linux colleagues for help when Windows starts bitchin.
- People who have been coding for 30 years, have worked with ~42 languages and don't know the difference between compiled and interpreted languages in the job interview.
- Chief developers at a large newsletter-publisher who think it's a good idea to build your own CMS (due to a lack of good existing ones, of course).
- Developers who have been writing PHP applications for multinational corporations for 25 years and cannot explain how PHP is executed. They don't even know what the fucking OPcache is, let alone fpm. FML
- People who call themselves professional developers but never ever heard of DRY, KISS, boy-scout rule, 12-Factor App, SOLID, Clean Code, Design Patterns, ...
- Senior developers wondering why the bash script won't run on their fucking Windows machine.
- Developers who consider Typescript to be a hindrance and see no value in it.
- Developers using ftp for deployments in 2022
- Developers who prefer to code without frameworks and libraries because they are only an unnecessary burden/overhead and you can quickly code everything up yourself.
- Developers who think configuring their server(s) manually is a good idea.
You fucking Prutscher. What you have already cost me in terms of work and nerves. I can't even put it into words how deeply I despise you. I have more respect for the chewing gum that has been stuck in my damn trash can for the past 3 years than I do for you guys. You are the disgrace of our profession. I will haunt you in your dreams and prefix every fucking synapse of your brain with MY initials.
As a well-known german band once sang in a very fitting song: I wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire.
If you recognized yourself in one of the examples here: FUCK YOU!29
MS paint is going away...
Wait no it's not...
SHUT UP! No one cares about paint. No one even uses it anyways. And no, because you opened it twice last year to crop a screenshot does not count as using it.15
Woohoo!!! I made it to 1000++s :) Now I feel less newbie-like around here :)
So... I don't want to shit-post, so in gratitude to all you guys for this awesome community you've built, specially @trogus and @dfox, I'll post here a list of my ideas/projects for the future, so you guys can have something to talk about or at least laugh at.
Here we go!
Current Project: Ensayador.
It's a webapp that intends to ease and help students write essays. I'm making it with history students in mind, but it should also help in other discipline's essay production. It will store the thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography so students can create a guideline before the moment of writting. It will also let students catalogue their reads with the same fields they'd use for an essay: that is thesis, arguments, keywords and bibliography, for their further use in other essays. The bibliography field will consist on foreign keys to reads catalogued. The idea is to build upon the models natural/logical relations.
Apps: All the apps that will come next could be integrated in just one big app that I would call "ChatPo" ("Po" is a contextual word we use in my country when we end sentences, I think it derived from "Pues"). But I guess it's better to think about them as different apps, just so I don't find myself lost in a neverending side-project.
A subchat(similar to a subreddit)-based chat app:
An app where people can join/create sub-chats where they can talk about things they are interested in. In my country, this is normally done by facebook groups making a whatsapp group and posting the link in the group, but I think that an integrated app would let people find/create/join groups more easily. I'm not sure if this should work with nicknames or real names and phone numbers, but let's save that for the future.
A slack clone:
Yes, you read it right. I want to make a slack clone. You see, in my country, enterprise communications are shitty as hell: everything consists in emails and informal whatsapp groups. Slack solves all these problems, but nobody even knows what it is over here. I think a more localized solution would be perfect to fill this void, and it would be cool to make it myself (with a team of friends of course), and hopefully profit out of it.
A labour chat-app marketplace:
This is a big hybrid I'd like to make based on the premise of contracting services on a reliable manner and paying through the app. "Are you in need of a plumber, but don't know where to find a reliable one? Maybe you want a new look on your wall, but don't want to paint it yourself? Don't worry, we got you covered. In <Insert app name> you can find a professional perfect to suit your needs. Payment? It's just a tap away!". I guess you get the idea. I think wechat made something like this, I wonder how it worked out.
* Why so many chat apps? Well... I want to learn Erlang, it is something close to mythical to me, and it's perfect for the backend of a comms app. So I want to learn it and put it in practice in any of these ideas.*
Flat-land arena: A top down arena game based on the book "flat land". Different symmetrical shapes will fight on a 2d plane of existence, having different rotating and moving speeds, and attack mechanics. For example, the triangle could have a "lance" on the front, making it agressive but leaving the rest defenseless. The field of view will be small, but there'll be a 2d POV all around the screen, which will consist on a line that fills with the colors of surrounding objects, scaling from dark colors to lighter colors to give a sense of distance.
This read could help understand the concept better:
A 2D darksouls-like class based adventure: I've thought very little about this, but it's a project I'm considering to build with my brothers. I hope we can make it.
Imposible/distant future projects:
History-reading AI: History is best teached when you start from a linguistic approach. That is, you first teach both the disciplinar vocabulary and the propper keywords, and from that you build on causality's logic. It would be cool to make an AI recognize keywords and disciplinary vocabulary to make sense of historical texts and maybe reformat them into another text/platform/database. (this is very close to the next idea)
Extensive Historical DB: A database containing the most historical phenomena posible, which is crazy, I know. It would be a neverending iterative software in which, through historical documents, it would store historical process, events, dates, figures, etc. All this would then be presented in a webapp in which you could query historical data and it would return it in a wikipedia like manner, but much more concize and prioritized, with links to documents about the data requested. This could be automated to an extent by History-reading AI.
I'm out of characters, but this was fun. Plus, I don't want this to be any more cringy than it already is.12
I tried to tailor two best things together for a wallpaper.
I used paint to do it, Did not have space to install PS
I was like 4 at the time, it's one of my earliest memories.
My parents called me into the room with the brand new computer and my name was on the screen and they "yelled" at me for writing my name on the screen. I don't remember my reaction I assume crying and saying I didn't do it. And they just laughed and showed how they did it with ms paint and how I can play with paint too.4
One year ago I did the Week 242 Group Rant:
Dev goals for 2021?
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
⬜️Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive
Now its 2022 lets se how far we got.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
✅Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive
What I did instead:
✅Worked on my indie Game
✅Went on vacation
✅Make my wife pregnant.
✅Construct, Paint, Decorate house.
✅Hold presentation about profilers
⬜️Take care of my new born daughter soon.
⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Learn to play Piano
⬜️Socialize a bit more8
So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
My dadddddddy, he got me a computer when i was 6/7 and i used to go on it everyday (mostly ms paint drawing the most bullshit stuff 😂 and pirating games like gta vice city 😍) and then when i turned 10 he told me about programming and he introduced me to scratch loved tht shit😍 so i started teaching my self VB.net , the regular beginner copy paste and then when i was 12 i finally learnt c# and i downloaded unity, unreal engine and cry engine and tons of others but stuck with unity and now im just waiting for school to finish so i can start to do programming with out being interrupted by homework🙄18
Spiced rum, kahlua, grand mariner, chocolate liquor, milk, ice. Tastes like house paint, and not in the good way like protein bars. Do not recommend. Better with more milk, but still meh.
Spiced rum, kahlua, triple sec, milk, ice. Tastes like orange milk with coffee. Pretty nice.
Spiced rum, ice. Tastes like a faint memory of heaven. Amazing grace, hallelujah.13
Why focus is important.
Enterprise IT manager:
"have a meeting"
"wax dried during meeting"
"have another meeting"
"have a meeting bookending that meeting"
"wax baked on by sun"
"get out sander to remove dried wax"
"try to spot fix"
"have another meeting"
"paint is the wrong color, won't come off"
"throw it wax, start a new project"
"pay vendor to repaint car"1
The things we take for granted... I was laughing my tits off at my mate taking a screenshot this is how it transcribed :)
morning mate 🙂
how are you getting on?
not bad thanks, bit knackered but good 🙂
the band was good then lol. how do i take a screen shot buddy?
there's print screen button on the top right of the keyboard
what will it be under?
it's a button
on the keyboard
prt scr or something
no when i want to use it
you have to open something like paint
paste it in
save it 🙂
fuck doing all that
you do it
I'm all good 😀
just open paint
i just got a killer score on wows lol i want to post it to the group
so i go to the game screen take a shot by pressing that button then go to paint and do what?
i dont even have paint lol
don't know what it's called in Windows 10
ahh fuck it
why doesnt it just pop up on your downloads or pictures ffs
it might do in Windows 10 I don't know 😀
it has done for other ones
for other games it has
sometimes the game has it built in
depends on so many things haha
i just hit the right click then hit paste and it came on to the post haha
no fucking about
Spray painted old apple keyboard. Results are satisfactory for a first time paint job.
More images in comments.11
I've never used Windows in my day-to-day life. No kidding.
When I got my father's first computer, I used an old distribution called BBC Linux. I didn't have any computer knowledge, it was my first contact with a computer, so I went to a friend's house and asked for a CD to install on my computer. I don't know if this friend ended up making a "gotcha" and thought I'd give up, but I just read the manuals and fell in love. That was year 2000.
Then I used Conectiva Linux, then I went to Red Hat 9, then Slackware, then in 2007 I started using Solaris. And I stayed on Solaris (Solaris 10, Solaris Nevada and OpenSolaris) until 2011.
In 2011 I bought a Mac. I stayed at Apple until 2020, when I couldn't stand Apple forcing me to buy new computers (I still don't understand how a 2011 iMac, i5 (4 Hyper Thread cores) with 16GB of RAM, 1TB SSD only runs up to High Sierra).
Then I bought a Dell. It came with Windows 10, the first thing I did was install WSL2. I could not stand it, the system is bad, sorry. I installed OpenSuse and have been using it for two years.
It's just that every day someone tells me "how can you use this"? "There is no alternative to Windows, do you want to be different?"
I know that my story was the reverse of the "mainstream", so I'm going to talk about my vision of Windows, that in my brain it is actually the "alternative".
- Having a file explorer without "tabs" in 2022 is unthinkable for me.
- I love terminal. And the Windows terminal is very limited. "ps ... | awk ... | xargs ..." is a must for me. "find ./ -name '...' -exec ..."... these things on Windows are totally "different" and have the "powershell way" while all other operating systems keep the same form. And cygwin is not an option. As Wine for serious work is also not.
- Dragging a file into the terminal, and having it write its path, is so natural, that when Windows didn't do it, I was dismayed.
- I've always used StarOffice, OpenOffice and now LibreOffice. All the people in my story received my documents and reports as a PDF and no one complained. Until a coworker saw me editing in LibreOffice and said "oh I want it in word format". As long as he didn't know, everything was fine, right?
- Windows is paid. And is there advertising? I don't understand. And I refuse. If you want to display advertising, then excuse me. I have no problem paying, I'm not an opensource shiite. It's just that paying and not working bothers me much more than an opensource that I can fix or expect a fix knowing the good will of the people involved.
- Hyper-V is a joke. QEMU/KVM is better, and Bhyve on FreeBSD which is a very young project, is already a million times better than Hyper-V.
- Developing in C/C++ for Windows is only possible in two ways: Either you've always lived in Windows and your brain is conditioned, or you compile with MSYS2 (CLang or GCC).
- There is no significant evolution of the windows desktop since 95.
- Multiple workspace support with multiple monitors, not ready. It's another joke.
- REGEDIT does not need any comment.
- The system loses performance over time. I still don't know how Windows achieves this.
- I've seen people complain about desktop fragmentation on Unix and Linux. Many DEs end up leaving applications with different themes (like running a Qt application in Gnome and GTK in KDE), but to be quite honest, the lack of Windows standard bothered me much more. Even Microsoft's own software is completely different: Control Panel, Calculator, Paint and Office, To-Do, and Settings, have horrible style differences and look-and-feel fragmentation.
- Dark mode has not been implemented. It's another joke. Many applications are white while everything else is dark. Sorry, even on Linux which is a mess, this has been resolved. And well resolved.
- NTFS? Serious?
- C:, D:.. It doesn't convince me since DOS.
- News "biased" in the search bar is a lack of respect for those who use the computer to work.
And that. For me, Windows is the alternative operating system. I can't take Windows seriously, for me it's an experimental one like Haiku or ReactOS. It's good to play.
About market share, it doesn't convince me to use it. But convinces me to sell. I've always developed applications to run on Windows. And when I need it, I turn on a VM to compile the project. But in everyday life? Impractical.15
Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
The Cloud Of Bullshit
Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.
For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.
I love it.
And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.
Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"
I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.
2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?
3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?
The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"
Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.
Native or nothing.
For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"
But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).
So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).
It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.
It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.
So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?
Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.
Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".
Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.
I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.
Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.
After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.
Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.
P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.
And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."
It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.
OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.
The cloud can suck my balls.18
I (senior dev) just went out with colleagues from work. We started drinking what eventually led to some dancing and partying. After a lot of drinks one of the junior/intermediate devs told me that he was surprised i am not a conservative bourgeois like he supposed i am based on his work-experience with me and that he can have actually have fun with me.
MAN I AM FUCKING SORRY THAT I AM PROFESSIONELL AND THAT I DISTINGUISH BETWEEN MY PRIVATE AND MY PROFESSIONAL LIVE!3
I'm very dependent on my sense of smell. I always smell whatever I eat or drink. Because of some stuff about my brain that my doctor told me and I forgot, this sense is very precise.
It's so precise in fact that in a closed room I can tell whether a woman is on her period or not. But we're blessed and we're also cursed – put any kind of paint, nail polish, rotten food, so-called "car perfume" near me and I have a headache until I get a full night of sleep.
Coronavirus however fucked up that feeling. When it initially disappeared I was panicking because I felt like a cat with his whiskers cut off. Now it's back and it's strong as usual, but it's different.
Now I can't eat chicken. No matter if it's fresh or not, if I smell chicken my brain just fucking nopes out and tries to vomit.
Corona sucks. Stay safe.37
My first contact with a computer was in 1997, I was close to 9.
My parents bought it together with a 17" screen and a color inkjet for about 6000.- CHF if I remember it correctly.
It had Windoozle 95, Pentium 2 233MHz, Radeon Rage 128 something.
At first I was not allowed to use it, but after watching them write documents for some time, they allowed me to draw random stuff in MS Paint and use Word.
It did't take long until I figured out to do more stuff on the system.
I think I crashed Windows a few times by installing some random demo software or shareware and execute just anything to see what happens.
When I turned 10, my godmother gave me Age Of Empires 2 as a present (I wished it so badly) and since this gift, I was somewhat addicted with computers and gaming.
My mother forbid me a lot of times to use the computer for weeks. 😄
But it all made me know computers better and even start programming with Quick Basic! (later VB, C++ and C#)6
Most useless feature:
Once we had to create a Learning Manager System to a small university. One of the (useful) features was a "file system" to people upload, organize and share documents (like a Google Drive prototype). This was the "student portfolio".
However, we had to create a page to act as a "cover" to it, that should allow the student to change the background, add exactly 2 images, and up to 9 "post-its". The image shows the notebook of our client while he was thanking us praising it as the greatest innovation of the decade.
The post-its was kinda nice, but what's the point of those images??
Anyway... On the same meeting of that picture the client asked us to include a "canvas" on that same page, so people could draw whatever they want. The words used was "just like [MS] Paint".
We postponed it, hoping he would forget about it, but on the end of the project he was still asking about it.
I found a lib that did the job and integrated with the project, but I also included a long comment for the next devs saying that I'm sorry they would have to support such thing 😅
The client loved but we never knew anyone that really used that Paint3
DISCLAIMER: I don't remember this, my parents told me the story
So, when I was 3, my father brought a computer back home and I instantly loved it. It wasn't our computer, he brought it home to fix it. It had Windows 95 on it. After he fixed it, he oppened up MS Paint, or something, drew a line and handed me the mouse, where I proceeded to draw.
Mundane and boring, yes, but a week later, my parents bought our own PC, and explained how to install Win98, a process I actually understood 13 years later.1
Has anyone used PHP unit with Selenium before?
I have a.. well words can’t explain it nice enough but, beyond a joke, not even funny, spaghetti code base I’ve come to inherit recently, which god help me, doesn’t follow any design patterns at all, it’s just a stamp this here, staple this down over here and throw paint at the wall and hope it sticks.
It’s a mixture of procedural and functional with the rare class kind of mess.
So attempting to refactor by any means is not a real possibility without some kind of behavioural testing in place first otherwise I know I’m going to end up breaking something somewhere and not even know it.
Also if anyone has had the privilege of such code bases, tips to dealing with the mess are appreciated.
Oh and no, I can’t rm -rf or start again.😭3
It would have been back in the 90s 🤫
I was about 8 years old I guess when I had a friend who had a Commodore64 and he loaded up the good old floppy, typed some things in and the screen started doing things, my mind was instantly triggered for “how did you do that?”.
Moving forward after that I was into gaming on consoles (sega, snes, Atari ect) and always wondered how the games were made (being pre-internet) that was not easy to find info for, otherwise I think inprobably would have ended up in the game dev world.
It wasn’t until I was about 10-11 that I finally got a PC in the house ( good old IBM 386 with 10mb HDD.. yes MB not GB for you young folk) and I was addicted from day one, MS paint, changing settings left right and Center in windows 3.11 and then when we upgraded to W95 and then W98 things got more and more interesting.
God the memories, and games (MAME32 was the best)😆
Shit now I want to find some old school games for a trip up memory lane 😂
When I was 15, I made my first website in front page (don’t judge), was a nice big walkthrough with photos and map locations for GTA 3, and since then I’ve never looked back.
My fucking campus building.
Really. Built a new one in 2017, we started to study there since Oct 2017 til now and lemme tell something: it's shit. My classroom's paint cracked 2 months in. My classroom lacks a projector which is standard for every classroom to have one back in the old campus building. But nooope. No projector for 1.25 years, at least by now compensated by a 50" TV which whoever the fuck installed the thing took the *only* stock HDMI cable. Shitty floor tiling (think r/mildlyinfuriating but worse), shitty toilet that would break down every 2 weeks and "over the top" gymnasium with air ventilation so bad it feels like Hitler's fucking oven every time we got in.2
I propose that the study of Rust and therefore the application of said programming language and all of the technology that compromises it should be made because the language is actually really fucking good. Reading and studying how it manages to manipulate and otherwise use memory without a garbage collector is something to be admired, illuminating in its own accord.
BUT going for it because it is a "beTter C++" should not constitute a basis for it's study.
Let me expand through anecdotal evidence, which is really not to be taken seriously, but at the same time what I am using for my reasoning behind this, please feel free to correct me if I am wrong, for I am a software engineer yes, I do have academic training through a B.S in Computer Science yes, BUT my professional life has been solely dedicated to web development, which admittedly I do not go on about technical details of it with you all because: I am not allowed to(1) and (2)it is better for me to bitch and shit over other petty development related details.
Anecdotal and otherwise non statistically supported evidence: I have seen many motherfuckers doing shit in both C and C++ that ADMIT not covering their mistakes through the use of a debugger. Mostly because (A) using a debugger and proper IDE is for pendejos and debugging is for putos GDB is too hard and the VS IDE is waaaaaa "I onlLy NeeD Vim" and (B) "If an error would have registered then it would not have compiled no?", thus giving me the idea that the most common occurrences of issues through the use of the C father/son languages come from user error, non formal training in the language and a nice cusp of "fuck it it runs" while leaving all sorts of issues that come from manipulating the realm of the Gods "memory".
EVERY manual, book, coming all the way back to the K&C book talks about memory and the way in which developers of these 2 languages are able to manipulate and work on it. EVERY new standard of the ISO implementation of these languages deals, through community effort or standard documentation about the new items excised through features concerning MODERN (meaning, no, the shit you learned 20 years ago won't fucking cut it) will not cut it.
THUS if your ass is not constantly checking what the scalpel of electrical/circuitry/computational representation of algorithms CONDONES in what you are doing then YOU are the fucking problem.
Rust is thus no different from the original ideas of the developers behind Go when stating that their developers are not efficient enough to deal with X language, Rust protects you, because it knows that you are a fucking moron, so the compiler, advanced, and well made as it is, will give you warnings of your own idiotic tendencies, which would not have been required have you not been.....well....a fucking idiot.
Rust is a good language, but I feel one that came out from the necessity of people writing system level software as a bunch of fucking morons.
This speaks a lot more of our academic endeavors and current documentation than anything else. But to me DEALING with the idea of adapting Rust as a better C++ should come from a different point of view.
Do I agree with Linus's point of view of C++? fuck no, I do not, he is a kernel engineer, a damn good one at that regardless of what Dr. Tanenbaum believes(ed) but not everyone writes kernels, and sometimes that everyone requires OOP and additions to the language that they use. Else I would be a fucking moron for dabbling in the dictionary of languages that I use professionally.
BUT in terms of C++ being unsafe and unsecured and a horrible alternative to Rust I personaly do not believe so. I see it as a powerful white canvas, in which you are able to paint software to the best of your ability WHICH then requires thorough scrutiny from the entire team. NOT a quick replacement for something that protects your from your own stupidity BY impending the use of what are otherwise unknown "safe" features.
To be clear: I am not diminishing Rust as the powerhouse of a language that it is, myself I am quite invested in the language. But instead do not feel the reason/need before articles claiming it as the C++ killer.
I am currently heavily invested in C++ since I am trying a lot of different things for a lot of projects, and have been able to discern multiple pain points and unsafe features. Mainly the reason for this is documentation (your mother knows C++) and tooling, ide support, debugging operations, plethora of resources come from it and I have been able to push out to my secret project a lot of good dealings. WHICH I will eventually replicate with Rust to see the main differences.
Online articles stating that one will delimit or otherwise kill the other is well....wrong to me. And not the proper approach.
Anyways, I like big tits and small waists.15
Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...
Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?
And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.
Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...4
-Ads blocker blocker
-Ads popup insite
-Ads popin in video
-Ads popin podcast
-Ads in mail
-Ads in software
-Ads in any android application
-Ads in windows
-Ads in ads
-Scroll position reset on back button
-Aria-label aria-labelledby aria-role aria-aria of game of thrones
-Order in dom for a11y different of the display order -Button :hover, :focus-visible, :focus-within :fuck-this
- SVG abandoned ware
- I make you a illustrators X version that not work with yours, i use figma. I use affinity, i use akira. I use photoshop, i use word. I use powerpoint, i use publisher, i use paint, i use all Asss (application as a service) on the web and to see what i make you need to pay you an account
-We all make frontend backend... No linter or something... Why we have always 848274 change in git ....
We not host anymore we use 62616 different cloud services to try all the fucking company everywhere
-Make a Drupal CMS to a client that's are to idiots to use it and call you each time they have something to modify
And goes on
Web tooday is fucking crap shit
People realize that you cannot make money anymore with informative website. Then everybody try to squish people at the last drop... Because of selfishness.3
Static HTML pages are better than "web apps".
Static HTML pages are more lightweight and destroy "web apps" in performance, and also have superior compatibility. I see pretty much no benefit in a "web app" over a static HTML page. "Web apps" appear like an overhyped trend that is empty inside.
For example, an average-sized Wikipedia article (30 KB wikitext) appears on screen in roughly two seconds, since MediaWiki uses static HTML. Everipedia, in comparison, is a ReactJS app. Guess how long that one needs. Upwards of three times as long!
The legacy (2014-2020) HTML-based Twitter.com loaded a user profile in under four seconds. The new react-based web app not only takes twice as long, but sometimes fails to load at all, showing the error "Oops something went wrong! But don't fret – it's not your fault." to be displayed. This could not happen on a static HTML page.
Arguably, another supposed benefit of "web apps" is that there is no blank page when navigating between pages, but in pretty much all major browsers of the last five years, the last page observably remains on screen until the next navigated page is rendered sufficiently for viewing. This is also known as "paint holding".
On any site, whenever I am greeted with content, I feel pleased. Whenever I am greeted with a loading animation, splash screen, or skeleton screen, be it ever so fancy (e.g. fading in an out, moving gradient waves), I think "do they really believe they make me like their site more due to their fancy loading screens?! I am not here for the loading screens!".
> "Yeah, but I'm building a webapp, not a website" - I hear this a lot and it isn't an excuse. I challenge you to define the difference between a webapp and a website that isn't just a vague list of best practices that "apps" are for some reason allowed to disregard. Jeremy Keith makes this point brilliantly.
> For example, is Wikipedia an app? What about when I edit an article? What about when I search for an article?
> Whether you label your web page as a "site", "app", "microsite", whatever, it doesn't make it exempt from accessibility, performance, browser support and so on.
> If you need to excuse yourself from progressive enhancement, you need a better excuse.
– Jake Archibald, 20139
Raging here, overheating really. One spends thousands on technology that is promoted with the catch phrase "it just works", yet here I am, after updating my fancy new emoji maker (iphone x) to 11.2 and then attempt to carry on working by compiling my code to test some new features. And...
oh, whats this xCode? You have a problem? You can't locate something? You can't locate iOS 11.2 (15C114)... sorry and you think that this "May not" be supported in current version of Xcode?
Let me get this straight you advanced piece of technological wizardy, you know you are missing something, you in fact know what it is, you can actually TELL me what is missing and yet, still, in 2017, you can't go FETCH it?????
Really? All you can do is sit, with that stupid look on your face, and watch the paint dry? Your stuck? That's it?
I hate you for the false pretense of advanced capability. and for your lack of a consistent dark theme so my eyes stop bleeding when reading your "I don't know what to do" messages...
By the way, maybe you can stop randomly crashing, or pinwheeling, I get that your bored as a machine designed to crunch numbers/data/code all day long and that for fun you feel you have to add some color to your subsitance. But stop it. Do what I'm told you can do, "JUST WORK" for once without me having to drag you forward kicking and screaming.
K. that feels better. Now for some whiskey.5
First week of work.
Coder comes to me and says: "have you cut your nails?".
The designer says "i think you should paint yours nails" to start programming
... i thought for a while so i c# them. True Story...
i'm a female programmer btw...6
I was hoping to work on my project this weekend. Turns out, the kindergarten gave all the parents a task - to make a Christmas-y house with their child.
Well, I didn't work on my project, no doubt about that. But I found some other place to overengineer the shit out of it. And, frankly, I LOVED it.
2 days wasted. Not even sorry.
EDIT: all the materials are from the trash bin. That makes it even more fun!
EDIT2: Paint job is my wife's :) I'm too sloppy for it.13
Shit Developers say:
Fuck you Jasmine and your camelCase
I’ve been wrestling cucumbers all day
Oh no all the cucumbers are broken
In a fit of refactoring madness I have gone and changed a lot
Did you seriously just give ME nil?... No!
If the shit sticks, then we put nice paint on it
Fucking red dot motherfucker (Ben and his failing specs)
You know what we don’t do often..kill each others builds. Kill them and reschedule for later. Mwahaha ha ha.
This build is going to be so rad...(5mins later)...Ok this is not going to pass..I can feel it in my waters!
Can i do that in a digital way or do i have to move my meaty body downstairs to find him?
All the donkeys have be out the gate by sundown
God, imagine if you could patent mathematical solutions
actually, I wouldn't be surprised if you can in the states "no, you can't use a laplace transform, you haven't got the rights, you have to use a less accurate transform on your matrices"
ooooo a boolean that's phrased in the negative, my favourite for code review destruction!
Fuck the police i'll call the object here
Web RTC - its super easy, all you have to do is..probably some hard stuff
I want to go to that conference so I can start arguments with dickheads about semicolons. Just for fun.
This this is not the same as that this.
Can’t come to work I can’t find any clothes. It’s best for everyone if I just don’t come in. ...2 hours later... Yeah my clothes were just in the other room and i couldn’t be fucked moving
(OH about bad bug reports) - you know when they are all like oh joogly joogly doesn’t doodle doodle and it should wobbly doodle you know? and im all like fuck i don’t know any of that shit you are talking about.
Him: "I don’t like it, it’s against REST convention its so 2006 that my eyes are bleeding. As a privileged white male i feel entitled to complain about this." Me: "you. were. eleven in 2006
Source: Kellective Github2
Back when I was in high school I created something like a simple version of MS Paint using Turbo C where the only graphics library function I used was putPixel().
I was so excited and showed it to my mom and what she said was : "Don't you have MS Paint for this, why do you bother creating a new one? Do something productive with your life."3
I wanna make you feel what you have brought into my house!!
I was working with security cameras once in a home automation project. One of those camera particularly stand out by offering a cgi without password request to view and change the current passwort and username.
Seriously wtf is wrong with you? I mean this thing automatically connects to an internet service offering everyone to connect to it with that passwort and username. And I know some of you might say "hey chill the cgi is only available on the wifi" - dammit no. Security is a lifestyle do it complete or get the fuck out. God knows what other mistakes there might be hidden in that thing screaming out to everyone to watch me taking a shit.
But that's not the end of it. My company arranged a call to the technical support of that camera so that I can explain the problem and a patch gets released. Those guys didn't give a shit about it and were even laughing at me. Fuck you!
So whoever is responsible - I will find you - and you will never see me coming.4
So, a few words about this setup :
- I am not Portuguese, my girlfriend got this poster while on a trip
- The second monitor is very old and uses fluorescent tubes. It's shitty and not stylish, but useful at times
- Yes, I use a standalone scanner. Every multifunction printer I've had ended up suiciding itself, and suicided the built in scanner with it. A standalone scanner should be indestructible.
- The case is open because I haven't paid much attention to fans and stuff, so it gets pretty hot when gaming
- Talk about gaming : I dual boot W10/Ubuntu but use the original Gnome DE with Adwaita Dark (I love it). However, W10 is only useful for Lightroom and games. When Steam released proton, I decided to start using Darktable for photo editing in order to ditch Windows once and for all. That will probably happen in the coming months.
- I have not wired my home yet, so I use a router as Wi-Fi receiver.
- The top of the desk is not the original one. It used to be a glass one, but I didn't like the feel and it was too small. So I made a wooden one and painted it with paint my father had left over. However, it ended up looking hideous and sticks to the skin when resting on it for a long time. It has to be changed/fixed.
- The headphones hanger is just a big ass screw, and the headphones jack has been fixed at least a dozen times. I even changed the cable two times.
- The mic is shitty but cost only 8€ on eBay.2
Cheap computer, Broken AC, Fresh coat of off-white/grey paint, Torn chair with ciggy burns in it, non-adjustable cubicle desk that is wayyyy too high, people from unrelated departments popping by every 15mins to give me an update I didn’t ask for on their inconsequential lives or their opinion on whatever the fuck is the biggest trending hashtag right now.
May I never go back into the office again.
"Make a 3D cube using the skew and size functions in Microsoft Paint on Microsoft Windows 7"
I shit you not, this is a genuine task you can allot in the school-leaving exams(maturita) at my school.
A 3D FUCKING CUBE! IN MOTHERFUCKING MS PAINT!
I mean it would be a kind of an easy task if MS Paint did the math correctly but for some fucking reason when you skew something in MS Paint it also magically shrinks! It is not MS Paint, it's M$ Pain.11
I like like my boss and my coworkers and the place I work but for the love of goat cheese this org has the attention span of a toddler on meth.
Seriously, it's like this is your #1 priority, next week, wait we have a different emergency you have a new super critical urgent thing, then "hey team Y has a vendor coming in next month to integrate these two pieces and they need you to have half of it wired up by then so make sure you get that done." Like SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY
HERE"S SOME LIFE ADVICE IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU PLAN OR SCHEDULE OR PRIORITIZE IF YOU END UP CHANGING ALL OF IT EVERY WEEK!
It's like painting a mural of a field, and then 10 minutes in you decide you'd rather paint a space ship, then you realize you don't like the space ship so instead you decide to change your painting to Elvis with a mullet, and you keep doing this. The end result is not beauty it's the mad deranged scribbles of a man past the point of sanity.
But for the love of Haliburton if they ask me why X or Y wasn't done I'll probably end up going full BOFH on somebody.3
"The face on this photo is too big". Wow, thanks, it's literally the photo that you've sent me to put on the page. What am I supposed to do, paint some more background in it?2
I am a Windows person. I always argue how great it is.
Well, not today.
I was today years old when I learned that you CANNOT uninstall store app via store ;p You need to go to settings / apps and functionality / your app / uninstall
The photo app (Yes the one bundled with win10) doesn't work if you use Hard drive compression AND it is a symlink for OneDrive (So you don't need to keep all photos on the drive). Fucking Paint works without problems.
Email client : If you alt+tab too fast after hitting 'Send email", there is 50% chances that email won't be send. Basiclly you need to hit "send" and wait until you see it in "sent" folder.
Well, as i'm ranting, here for Linux too :
I have a small ubuntu server VM, worked very well for last 6 months. Now "System in read only mode". Fucking apt-get upgrade fucked with something. I don't want to look, so I'll just rebuild a fresh vm.
And macOS should take sometyhing too : Who the fuck decided "enter" is for editing the name of file ?! really !
Well, ALL os are shit, all have downsides, I need my own OS. But I still want AA games... So windows for me.25
My father showed me MS Paint when I was five years old or so, and I still remember I thought it was incredibly awesome.3
I hereby officially revoke my rant on Paint.NET:
After some review I've gotta say, despite its shortcomings it is pretty good for what it is.
So yeah, gonna own that error in judgement.
(Eclipse still sucks though. No error there.)2
I had used MS Paint for the very first time in school during my computers class when I was 5 (somewhere in 2002) and I loved making sceneries on it :P So I requested my dad to buy me a computer for my 6th birthday and he did!! The old huge bulky boxed system that ran Windows 98!
We owned this system till 2014 when we finally decided to sell it off because it couldn't get modified anymore.2
This whole Microsoft & GitHub thing is how it begins:
oh it's really cool, Microsoft is adding some cool features we've been missing for a while, GitHub is still great
Alright, there's this new `msgit` that has some really cool features for rebasing and merge conflicts, I won't need to worry about fucking up my git history
`msgit` is not compatible with `git` and GitHub requires us to use it, but what can we do, all our code and build triggers are set up..
I don't want to paint dark clouds, but I heard this theory at work and it makes sense that Ms would take it in a direction where people are locked in to their ecosystem. It won't happen immediately, but all signs point to this.
Felt sorry for this old guy, so I have decieded to actualize him. Fresh paint inside and outside plus the new board arrived as well. :)10
I like to paint miniatures. So I keep a small collection of what I've done sitting on my desk. I also keep drawing stuff beside me too in case I feel like doodling.4
A few months a couple of my colleagues, a business consultant and a developer, worked on a big project. The project capsized because the client is an A-hole and the developer was way over his head.
To save the project I was brought on board. The entire code base was a fucking mess of duplicated code. Shortly after, the developer called in sick with stress, simply because the whole thing was too much.
Fast forward to now; we just launched. The client is expressing concerns about the quality of the work because of the bumpy road (rightly so). I try to explain why my way of doing things is better, but to "paint the picture" I had to compare my approach to my predecessor. This results in the business consultant shooting me down, right in front of the client.
I fucking saved your job, your project, and about $1M in profits. I'm allowed to tell the story of why my incompetent coworker messed everything up.
I'm so done walking on egg shells because some just don't realize they are not cut out for software development.2
Being 46 and finally having the chance to focus on software development after years of BA/PM roles, flogging the market trying to get a junior gig, then one day painting a shed with my 16 year old who I introduced to programming about 6 months ago and listen to him speak at length on protocol programming, finer variances between python and swift and his own development of a text based RPG system where he is creating randomized map generation, gear customization etc. only to realize as paint glides down my arm:
" I'M FREEKIN' OLD!!!!"
When did my brain stop absorbing like a sponge and behave more like a brick?1
I tried LSD yesterday!
Backstory: I have a weird combo of bipolar type 1 and autism. During the day, my brain works inconsistently. Here how my day usually goes:
09:00. I wake up. Uninterested, cold, masculine. No thoughts in the background. No OCD.
12:00. Brain warms up. Thought process begins. Thoughts are short in their length
14:00. Thoughts start to get longer. Stress starts to accumulate. Background thoughts start, now typically 2–3 at a time.
16:00. Twitching begins. Thought chains are now 5–6 concepts long, one following the other. Perception level rises quickly. I start to feel more feminine. It is in this state that I start to spot imperfections and mistakes looking at code or text without reading it. I see it like a painting, and mistakes appear as “visually wrong” parts. This does not depend on formatting.
17:00. OCD becomes more severe. I HAVE to touch all the surfaces around me, evenly, as if my hands were text highlighters, and I had to paint everything evenly, without overlaps or spots that are brighter or darker than the others. Some surface textures become irritating, and feel quite unpleasant to the touch. If I go for a run now, like 3 km or so, I feel somewhat relieved.
18:00. Things are getting serious. Creativity levels through the roof. I speak in long, never-ending, profound sentences. Background and foreground thoughts almost become one. I appear visually drunk and happy, despite never drinking alcohol. Femininity rises even further. Sometimes, when I speak to a small group of people, especially if I go with friends to meet new people, and we go to some bar, new people ask to record my voice or to write down whatever I’m saying. To be honest, this reason alone is a huge boost to how I see yourself.
19:00. OCD is crazy now. Surfaces have soul.
21:00 <— Gotta take my meds and go to sleep here to prevent what comes at 22:00
22:00. All thoughts, both foreground and background, fully became one. Now my brain officially disobeys me and thinks on its own, and I can ride it like a surfer at best. Twitching becomes concerning. I develop a 1000-yard stare. I am officially a female. Physical strength is somewhat enhanced. Pain tolerance lowered significantly.
23:00. Derealization begins. The world around me appears two-dimensional and flat, like a picture. It is hard to get home on foot, even in close (less than one km) proximity. Brain is fully numb. All that thought monstrosity that was building up is just noise now. Zero “flops” available to think about something I want to think about, like how much money I have on me or what time it is.
I go to sleep. I see nightmares. I wake up, and the cycle repeats.
Contrary to a popular opinion, I never take any “brain-boosting” meds like antidepressants, and I think now you can see why. I consume neither alcohol nor caffeine. Neither me, nor my doctors want my brain to explode. I only take lamotrigine that helps to “lower down” mania, and quetiapine, a neuroleptic, that slows down my brain, like a neuroleptic. Both are there to slow down my brain, to kinda “throttle” my brain like a CPU to cool it down.
That said, 100ug of LSD just… brought me my usual 18:00 state, but in the morning?
All that small-dose recreational ordeal? The thing that helps people feel more energetic and creative?
People pay money… for that? To feel the way I feel every evening?10
After reading some rants abut stupid project managers I remembered this situation that happened to me a decade ago.
One of the tasks was to move some html component to different place on the page. The whole page was a mix trs and tds and to achieve that I had to rewrite the whole page structure. I estimated around half a day to complete that task. It was my first job and I was not great back then, but still it was reasonable amount for this task.
Now lets introduce my PM : the guy was a complete tool. He was a former hardware store manager ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and had no idea what we were doing.
He started ranting how on earth such simple task can takes so much time. I started explaining myself, but he wasn't listening. Instead he started sharing his screen, he made a screenshot of the page, pasted it to the ms paint, cut the component, and moved it to desired place. Then he said : It took me like 10 sec to complete the task and I have no experience, maybe I will replace you?
I was speechless. I had no words and I just kept silence.
Then he said he would reassign this task to X, because he is competent.
X spend more then 4 hours and I heard no apologies.6
inherited a glossier brand lip balm when my friend moved. the balm itself is cool, but my GOD zoomer-oriented marketing BS is sooo obnoxious. “Spread the lush balm over your lips for the moisturizing, nourishing goodness”, my god, something like that. I don't know for sure because I can't read it — immediately tried to clean it off with acetone, but after that failed, I painted all over it with an industrial-grade paint marker. And I don't remember that either, as my brain's garbage collector immediately displaced that cringe.
Can I just get a damn product? With the packaging saying nothing than a brand name and how to use it?9
I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical
Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10
0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone8
Cause with enough experience and time I can do anything anyone else can and more.
A painter can paint a painting by hand, I can paint the same painting by code.
A musician can create a song on an instrument, I can create the same song by code.
A teacher can teach. I can teach a computer to teach teachers how to teach.
Dev1 : hey dude, I am not able to get the slider right like the one in the IMG they've created on WordPress, we need to show this to the client today. Can you help?
Dev2 (short for devil) :
*Opens up expected screen slider IMG*
*Ctrl + Alt + Printscrn*
*opens Paint ---> crop --> save*
*Inside html, <img src="*above url">*
Done buddy, you owe me one.
UI vs UX .. !
Some ppl just forget about the UX . and tread a UI as a paint to be admired not used !7
How do u spend your free time? These days I’m constantly torn between coding and painting. Both are my passions. And I recently started a coding blog I love writing on it, and I also want to learn meanstack in free time. But I also want to paint........ :(10
After seeing it in a demo, the customer didn't like their first loading gif and they sent another one.
I go to open it to verify it's good and Gimp won't open it; Chrome, Firefox, IE, even MS Paint fails miserably. Eventually I ran file on it and it's an html doc.
So I changed the extension and loaded it up. He saved his slack window as a gif.
FUCK AWS. Instead of making consistent api everyone seems to do whatever the fuck they want. They are not even consistent when it comes to the same fucking service or even the same fucking call which is called two different ways...
I think I'm a good developer. I have pretty decent debugging skills, including pulling apart disassembled x86 and other architecture code.
I'm fascinated by how things work.
But almost everything is catered for by a library. Or has already been done.
I find it enjoyable to create a library or program myself, but get disheartened when I find some library or program that is written seemingly very well, compared to my own code. And then I start to think I'm not a good developer after all.
Sort of relates to my previous rant about repeatedly rewriting code.
Applies to me doing programming as a hobby but probably affects my code at work as well... I just can't help but think my code is probably awful compared to what someone else might write.
...then I see incredibly ugly, messy, badly written code by other people and I feel better...
I suppose it is like an artist who sees amazing works but cannot paint to that standard, but is well beyond drawing stick figures with crayons.
Sounds like a trivial problem but it probably impedes my progress with a lot of things.3
When it was "bring your children" day at my mums work she took me to London, I used to draw houses with paint on her work PC and sending them via fax to my grandma miles away. It was pretty magical to me.1
Grew up with just my brother and mother in Russia. We had very little money so we haven't even seen computers in real life until my mother found a swedish boyfriend and we moved to Sweden the year 2000.
I was 7 years old at the time and I saw my first computer in what I think was the Swedish Migration Board office. The purpose of the computer was for convenient registration for the reception or something, but the first thing I did was found paint and drew some circles, I was completely mind blown!
My mother's boyfriend came and told me not to play with the computer because "I might accidentally install a virus".
A couple of months later we got a PC to share with the whole family, me and my brother were so ecstatic because we have previously only seen them on TV and now for some reason we have one at home "Woooot 😮😮😀"
The problem was that my mother only let me and my brother use the computer on weekends and only for one hour. Somehow this just made me and my brother even more interested in that machine, so we sneaked out from our room at night and played with it.
One night we found out about this great thing called Google and googled "how to program a program" and that's when we fell in love with programming.
When our mother found out she got very angry and disappointed. She was questioning why we were "so much in love with this stupid thing" and said "it's not like you are going to get a job working with it!"
Me and my brother are both devs now. So suck it 🖕🖕🖕1
Oh boy, converting the whole codebase from vb.net to c#
Pain point 1: CType all over the place (Convert.To*)
Pain point 2: almost everything is static!
Pain point 3: "I learned about DI just 3 months ago..."
Paint point 4: deployments ever happened by hand!
But I'm happy to be there because the guy who's running the thing is a very nice one and he's absolutely grateful for every bit of learning lesson I give him.5
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13
My first experience was in 1998. My grandfather had a computers and even tho he was hesitant to let me use them my mom convinced him saying that I may eventually turn into an engineer like him. I used them mostly for paint and a couple of space shooter games he later got for me. It was great. They always had computers, they even had a c64 at one point and i remember playing with that one as well.
My first computer tho, it was in 2010 while I was in the Army. Still have that lil hp in my office although it does not work anymore.
Nothing speciall really. I've had computers all my life and a mother that was passionate about them. I owe everything I am to my mom. I think that it is because of her that I became a computer scientist.
When I was a child I was allowed to use my dad's PC (my parents are divorced) (~1995-6, 3-4 yrs) - back then I played blockout and space Invaders on that windows 2.0 machine. My mum later got a win 3.1 box and I often played around in paint - so did I on my dad's new windows 95 pc. Back then I wasn't able to read (which usually isn't uncommon for a 4-5 yr old) but I was so fed up with those constant "do you want to save this thing dialogs" that I started to learn reading with the help of my parents. (Thanks to that I was able to play Monkey Island 2 :D )
Fast forward to the first years of school: we had two PC's in the classroom and I somehow fixed basic errors so my teacher signed.l me up for the computer course in the second year - usually only students in the third and fourth year may attend this course. I was so thrilled and that was the time where I learned basic DOS stuff and how to build a PC. Again fast forward some years to the 6th year - again another teacher saw my interest in it and asked me if I'd be interested in the basic programming course where I then learned basics in HTML, CSS and JS but that was not enough for me and so I did some research and learned php. In high school, my major was science and IT and in the last year, my IT teachers sat in the IT class and I held the courses as my knowledge was greater than theirs. And yep, that's pretty much how I started coding1
The football stadium game from the 1995 "Thinkin Things Collection 3" where you choreograph players and marching bands to paint the ground.
Take a computer, any computer. Remove all the useful shit that makes the operating system actually work and rewrite all the prompts in simple English. Just for fun, give it the complete inability to perform everyday tasks that a child could use an Etch-a-Sketch for. Put all the useful settings/options in the background and make updates look like they're going to install up until the last minute until they error with "Unknown" as the only reason. Now interface it with your cobbled-together backend system and REQUIRE it to communicate with that system for EVERY task.
Then paint it silver.
There. Now you have a Mac.
My boss uses agile development so he doesn't has to think about use cases he wants to be covered by the application.
He's just throwing in a "design" (an image that is probably created with Paint) without any further specifications and inconsistent elements, let the developer work two days on it, see the outcome, complains why it's not how he wanted it to be and then starts thinking how the feature should be integrated in the app and notices that his "requirements" from the image could not provide any advantage or usage at all for the user of the application. Asking for clarification before starting to work just leads to spongy statements or silence when he notices that he didn't think through to the end.
Sad is that this has not happened only once but is usually the way a new feature is developed...1
In my previous rant i complained about no irregular sprite collision detection libraries.
So after messing up with curves and line in p5.js I gave up on creating the fish like a complete caveman.
I wrote a simple vector paint program which can return the set of points on console logging, and here is the result5
// TODO: Do some proper naming
var myEgg = new Egg();
The "Gratitude" emoji pack recently introduced to Slack. They're basically "Thank you" in different languages.
Among others, there is a Russian "спасибо", but there is no Ukrainian "дякую".
What's up Slack? Didn't you paint your logo blue and yellow when the war started?
If you're gonna push your "please don't cancel us" marketing BS like all the other companies, at least be fucking consistent.8
I don't know exactly what year my dad bought the PC with a hard drive of 4GB, but it was not in the year 2000 and following. I'm not sure if it was running win98 or win95. Probably win95. Aaah those were golden times.
I remember having no internet, but still having fun drawing images on ms paint.
Oh and there was a game named sesame street for that os. Sometimes I miss those times.3
Why the fuck nobody talks about Multi-page apps?! We went from a Web where everything was Multi-page server-rendered, and now everything for Web developers is "Single-page apps".
What about websites who can't do that? Not everything can be a single-page app. Only my uncle's restaurant website, or something which is TRULY a full app. No half choices.
If your website is a multi-page app/portal which actually PRELOADS data, instead of doing 100 fetch to an API within a page that is full of loading bars, well, your life is a pain.
When you want a first contentful paint which isn't a white page, well, your life is a pain.
What are React, Vue, Ember, Angular (let's exclude Svelte and Marko) going to do about Multi-page apps and SSR?
React-router sucks to me. It's performance is weak and it's useful only when you have an SPA with multiple sections which can be treated as pages (e.g. A single SPA divided in tabs).
Server-side rendering is the worst pain ever made by humanity, in React (and prob Vue, I didn't try but I can bet). And even when made easier from libs like Svelte and Marko, I (personally) can't get it to be faster enough compared to a traditional website without a JS framework and with a templating engine.
Anyways, if there's anything that I learnt from React, is to stay away from Next.js. Perfect, beautiful, mess.
All JS frameworks just seem to bloat the code and make it worse and slower, even though they're REALLY helpful.
Why? Why everyone loves them if their downsides are so clear? Why 3 projects out of 3 I made (1 React SSR, 1 Vue, 1 Marko SSR) are and will stay painfully slow and bloated, full of shit, even if in 2020 we should have evolved with the famous three shaking, with the famous lazy loading, etc.?
I am just frustrated.
And let's not even talk about Webpack, Rollup, Lasso, those module bundlers shit which are harder to configure and understand than finding a needle in a haystack.
Lasso was the easiest to configure but I anyways can't understand it. Webpack seems it was made to handle SPAs, as any tool in this freaking world, and not even considering an easy way to integrate multiple bundles for multiple pages (I know it's pretty easy, but with component sharing between pages and big unique bundles Next.js handles it soooo bad it feels like hell).
Am I the only one?
Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to rant right now.17
Why the hell did someone remove the wacom kernel module in android since 4.x? It wasn't hurting any body and instead gave people the ability to connect their wacom tablets to USB OTG compatible devices. As a result we have few apps that have wacom support in play store and shitty reputation that the rotten apple is better for all things media.
And for me it means I have to:
* Figure out a way to root my device
* locate correct version and configuration of currently running kernel.
* set up cross compilation toolchain
* build the kernel module
* transfer it to the device
* insmod it manually
* say a few prayers
.... All I wanted to do was paint 😢
Dah, I wish I was better at painting. The easiest kind too - painting a room, not a picture. It's fine until I get to the edges. Then I mask off the area I don't want to paint, pull of the tape but no - turns out it's wonkier than a drunk student trying to walk in a straight line.
Go to touch it up, miss, get paint on the other bit I was trying to avoid. Great. Try taping it again - straighter this time - and it works, but then rips off chunks of paint when I take the tape off. Go to touch those bits up, then in my haste splatter it on the floor.
Seriously, how anyone can be this bad at this is beyond me.11
The nostalgic feeling you get when you find an old PC running Windows XP, and you start going through the accessories and games start menu folders, always have to start up the good old MS Paint :35
I want to paint...again...
My head - how the fuck u gonna paint with a full time job and a full time baby and full time housework.
Me - I don’t know how but I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.
Hunted out my paint box and brushes and kept em on table.....
Mini canvases...gonna start small, can’t handle big one for now...
My crude MS Paint-like drawing I made when bored in a meeting.
It was of sexy squidward screening in the background while I presented to two managers and switched screens around in a corporate meeting and they saw it for a good 40 seconds on the big monitor 😅😁15
One of the worst things I did in my career as a developer was that when i had to change an offer form in our SAP System. My boss told me to change the prices in a form in our SAP system. Normally the key users do that but our SAP System is so fucked up that sometimes the developers have to do it because you have to write directly into the database. So I wanted to look up which table it was and what I saw scared me.
IT WAS A FUCKING IMAGE.
So I used paint to edit the prices in the image and re-uploaded the image. Shame on me but I didn't wanted to change that shit. I have other things to do than that.
Not exactly a story since I was too young to remember, but my parents told me that I was really enjoyed playing with the games my father made for the good old commodore 64 we had.
He basically had two 5" floppy holders full of his own games and programs he used to make. Unfortunately we only have the disks now. :(
The first memory of me using the computer though, is when my father bought a computer for his office (was win 95 with the "you are now safe to switch off your computer" message) and I was sneaking in to play with paint because it was so cool back then.
Do something physical where I can see the result.
Paint that bookshelf that I would do one day. Organize the big pile of mess in the storage, plant something in the garden. Something where you are reminded when you see it: ohh I fixed that and feel proud.
Organize ones and zeroes are sometimes a bit abstract for the primitive brain to give that fulfillment feeling.1
Why are some professors in uni so god damn incapable of teaching?
I am in the midst of one of the most important classes of my uni career, algorithms, and I've been paired with the most incompetent, uncaring piece of shit professor on gods green earth.
First off, his mic sounds like an absolute ass-blasted bic mac. Shit is awful. Sounds like a bass boosted ear-r*pe meme from youtube.
On top of this, his way of "teaching" is showing us pictures he took of his whiteboard from when classes weren't virtual. He then opens these pictures in MS paint so he can circle what hes currently looking at and draw lines and stupid shit across the screen.
WHY IS THIS ALLOWED. WHY ARE THESE INCAPABLE OLD FUCKS ALLOWED TO TEACH STILL.3
Couldn't find any satisfactory explanation online, so here is a question. Discussions idea etc are welcome.
How is the colour fill tool implemented in paint or other software?
I remember it running superfast on old 98 machines. Got me curious to think how they achieved it.
(correct me if I am wrong, recursion won't be a good idea for large images.)4
My first exposure to computers was at my dad's factory when I was only a few years old. I remember figuring out how to turn on the computer, open Paint and make a masterpiece.
Over the next couple of years my Paint masterpieces only improved, while I also learned how to connect to the internet and explore other interesting things.
Fast forward 20 ish years and I've graduated with a double bachelors degree and pursuing a career in software engineering.
Everyone should at least know a bit of coding, especially markup languages. God dam looking at good GUIs when all of yours look like youve made it in paint is amazing. 😂😂
Today is my last coursework submission. I've touched on a lot of topics I never thought I would be able to do/even thought about. I like data science, but I just don't feel so passionate about it now. I just want to ditch coursework and do cool shit, but I never find the time.
Anyone else get somewhat "fed up" of what they've studied? How did you get through it? Just do the "cool shit"?3
Dear Windows, we have to talk. I love you, you know that, and I know that your market share has been shrinking in recent years and you're shit scared of becoming irrelevant but for the love of god:
- STOP asking me every god damn few weeks if I want to change my browser settings - NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO USE BING, FUCK OFF
- STOP trying to be like an app and add pointless new "features" that nobody cares about and just do your fucking job, which is to be a PLATFORM which is stable, never changes and that gets out of my fucking way
- STOP reinstalling apps I uninstall, Im NOT FUCKING INTERESTED IN PAINT 3D, FUCK OFF
Welp, it is panic attack time. Can't sleep because of work stress, which stresses me out even more. Can't get my work done because of bullshit meetings I can't skip. Coworkers are possibly being purposefully idiotic. Can't take vacation because we are in the middle of shit. I am not even coding, just writing documentation about the same crap everyday because of perviously mentioned idiotic developers. They have the same info as me, but refuse to work on even a draft version until I paint a screen WITHOUT the button they need to remove. I want to code so I can point at it and feel good, but no. And people keep talking to me. FUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!3
Can you picture what will be?
This is the end, my only friend.
I'll never look into your eyes again.
Paint me red, and scalp me free.
Nothing else matters to me but me.
A world of sickos, filled with fright,
Too afraid to live tonight.
Nothing in this world is loved,
You live in a palace of lies.
Bet you thought this was Kaine or Kiki!8
I got inspired to make my code as closest to perfection as possible for me by my uncle. Seriously - he was real handyman.
Once he had an accident in his car (I think it was Škoda 100) because of the drunk pedestrian. The car engine was ruined, as like back of the car. He disassembled the car bolt by bolt (he was writing all the actions in his notebook). He then bought exact parts and paint (which wasn’t easy in 80’s Poland) and fixed the car alone in his garage.
Even tho everyone was telling him to give up, it will not work, etc. the car started at the first try and you couldn’t spot any damage. Even the paint on the body was matched 1:1.
This story inspires me to don’t give up and try to do my job as best as possible - even if everyone else says I can’t do it.
Plans for 2019 are to release two products.
1. A text-based strategy game engine that will act as the core of two or more progressive web applications, using Node.js/Express, EJS, and SCSS. It will be proprietary, subscription-based, and playable 24/7 online or offline as a web site or mobile app with nightly/weekly/monthly events and items (think KoL, on steroids, with butter on top.)
I am currently undecided whether to go with MongoDB, MySQL or PostgreSQL, so any feedback - without derailing the other choices, and understanding that it needs to be minimal at first with the ability to expand to millions of users - would be appreciated.
2. I'm sculpting collectors figurines of guinea pigs, molding, casting and then selling a limited set that are hand-painted by me with a certificate of authenticity, as well as marketing blank versions of each with a choice of three colors (including white, and either red or black for eyes - a total of five) for people to either paint by themselves, family members, or friends.
This will also have a website that allows you to choose the breed and colors (changing the picture according to your choices), as well as allowing people to use it as a social media outlet - as if their own guinea pigs had profiles instead of humans. It's also planned to support rescues worldwide and educate folks about properly caring for cavies.5
When the hardest question on you computer systems test is : draw a house in paint and paint it using only the brush :/.
So so happy i am done with this subject after this semester.3
They need to make a drug that makes quality tests interesting.
But such a drug would have the side effect of making paint drying look like monkeys blowing up racecars.1
The first Computer experience i can think of is when i was ~4 years old i used to draw things on paint I could print them as well, i think the computer was running windows 98 or 2000.
A few years later i remember my uncle showed me a irc server for pirated software, the client was a CLI so it looked all hacky but i had no idea what was irc,i thought it was just a search engine like google but for piracy stuff.
"Paint my rims black" - Can't be hard to understand? They deliver it like this.. asked me for a rating.. well.. #000000 ffs.6
God, playing SoulSilver has made me remember an era (or two, but I wasn't alive for one and the other was my childhood) where games were actually fucking *GOOD.* Some games can be absolute home runs now on rare occasion, but if I name consoles from these periods, you can INSTANTLY tell me at least one game that is pretty universally regarded as a best-ever.
Examples and predicted responses:
-Gamecube: Too fucking many to even count. Instant answers vary immensely, but everyone who's played games on this thing have one.
-Original Xbox: Halo 2 is the one instantly on one's lips, or maybe CE for some. Also JSRF.
-Dreamcast: SA2 or Phantasy Star or JSR or...
-PS1/2: Resident Evil, Spyro, Final Fantasy, Ratchet & Clank...
-PS3: Lara Croft games, Uncharted, Infamous... (this one's right on the border, it seems)
-NES: The fucking birthplace of modernized gaming.
-Genesis: Sonic games, obviously. Some may answer with arcade titles, too.
-SNES: Mario games. Mario Paint, SMW, SMW2, SMAS, a couple like Super Metroid or Kirby's Dreamland or F-Zero may come up too.
-N64: Banjo Kazooie, F-Zero GX, Waveracer, 1080, Zelda games...
-Gameboy (all systems:) Pokemon is the instant answer.
Now, a harder one:
-Wii U? Maybe one of the Mii game things? U-less games? Not many people remember the games for this system.
-Xbox One? Halo 5, pretty much. You probably played everything else on PC.
-PS4? The PS3 lineup, but without any soul? You played pretty much everything here on PC, too.
Is there a point to this rant? Yes. Kind of.
Games used to be great, not just due to better hardware, but due to people putting some goddamn heart and soul into making games, and due to creativity stemming from working on such limited hardware. It seems the more powerful consoles (and PCs!) get, the more gaming becomes a soulless cash grab to drain cash from wallets on subpar products with paywalls every 20 feet you have to clear to get the "full experience." Gaming has become less about letting people have fun and being creative with games and more about the bottom dollar, whether that be through making games as fast and as cheap as possible with as much paid content dumped on top as possible, or the systematic erasure of archival efforts to preserve gaming history. From what I read here on devRant, that seems to be the moral of anything computer-related as well. Computers are made to slow down and fail far faster than normal via OEM bloat and shitty OSes, and are used to constantly empty one's wallets with constant licensing fees and free trials and deliberate consumer ignorance. None of it's about having fun anymore. Fun seems to no longer have a place in computing at all.
If you take anything from any of the madman-esque loosely-structured rambling i'm saying here, make it that "the enemy of creativity is the abscense of limitations... and the presence of greed." Another message i'd like to leave you with is "start having fun when making things whenever possible, as it improves not just the dev process, but user experience, too." You can't always apply this, and sometimes you can never do so, but always keep it in mind.14
I finally got to code something yesterday (I've been slacking OTL everytime I open the Java IDE I use my motivation flies out the window) and I've written down some things to help me do what I need because I forget it if I keep it all in my head. Not that this is a big thing, but it's just to help me to not forget what I've learnt, because I know that'll happen if I don't code.
So I'm coding and checking my notes and all, headphones on, heavy metal blasting, I guess I could say I was in the zone.
Suddenly I get a message from my dad asking me to come to the living room. Turns out my mom had been calling me but I couldn't hear it because I had the headphones on... again 😅 (Sorry mom 😇)
So I left my things and walked to the living room. My mom wanted me to put 2 images I've made for her together. I sat on the couch and waited. And waited. I waited more than I've coded before they called me. I was getting impatient because I was trying to code and I'd been called to wait ;u; I thought I could do it in her computer because it was a simple paint thing so I didn't need the editing program I use.
When she finally showed me what she wanted me to do and I noticed that I hadn't edited one the image she provided me correctly (it didn't look good either way, I butchered the logo she'd given me because stray pixels are a thing that exist 😒 reducing the image also kinda killed it 😅). So I come back to my room and edited it again and made it look a bit better, did what she wanted me to do in the first place and emailed it to her. I went back to the living room and checked it it was good and went back.
I lost too much time and the motivation to code. Played for a bit and then forced myself to go back to coding because I didn't feel motivated (not that I don't like coding, I just lack the motivation most of the time). When I realized it it was 2h30 am and I was getting tired 😴2
How resource calculations for software services like code analysis, monitoring, etc are done:
Opening fridge, putting all the beer one can find in it.
Opening the necessary tools, e.g Excel, Accounting software, ....
Drinking the first beer.
Starting to aggregate the monthly costs - cause you can never trust the reports written by someone else...
First beer poof.
Looking at the monthly cost, adding columns "Intended use", "Actual usage pattern", "Usage factor"...
Opening next beer...
Usage factor is btw a factor of 0.1 ... 1.0 - to give an estimate how much the products feature are actually used, for further analysis if the invest is justified or not...
Oh. Another half bottle gone...
Filling in the columns...
Oh. Bottle empty and the next one toooooooooooooooo...
*cracking finger joints*
Now let's get to the sad part...
Next worksheet, adding infrastructure costs...
Cost and description as columns.
Hehe. Column sounds like gollum.
Ugh. Need the paper reports, manually typing off things for stuff that was e.g. tax deductible.
Many beers die during this task. Poor little beers, dying for such an boring and mundane task...
SUM is a real useful function. I don't think I can add numbers anymore.
Now we can add another sheet.
Hehe. Sheet sounds like shit. And yes, everything in this file is shit.
Summing up costs from both sheets and including the cost factor from 1
... Beeeeeeeer Beeeeer beer we need more beer here... Beer beer beer...
Where was I. Oh yeah. Cost factorization total vs effective.
Why do I want to get even more drunk.
Oh yeah. Most software is completely underused and the costs aren't justified.
Let's add some colored highlighting ...
Uuuuh. ,Too much red. Better change the highlights.
Too much red.
Don't give a fuck.
Time for some whiskey.
What else is there to do....
The bloody wankers from accounting need diagrams as numbers are too boring.
Not that everything in accounting is boring, no matter how much you paint colors on it... *sigh*
Hm. More whiskey...
Hehe. Whiskey rhymes with frisky.
Uff. Now just need to write mail. Mail mail mail....
"Copy paste the last mail from last month"
Spell check extension - to the rescue.
Let's change a few words here and there... Maybe another paragraph there.
Trying to attach file...
*fucking mouse is pretty constantly crashing into empty beer bottles*
Need to press send button.
*Creating mess on the desk by just randomly crashing the beer bottles*
*Pressing computers power button*
Mwahahahaha. No mouse needed.
*regretting to stand up too quickly, nearly barfing on the floor*
Couch ... Where Couch...
After hitting several doors, frames and other stuff, the glorious mission ended successfully with a most graciously executed gut buster on the couch.
(Regretting next morning to have emptied two 6 packs and a few glasses of whiskey)
Hes discussing confidence and I wanted to talk about that for a moment, from a guy who struggled with it a lot growing up.
Half of confidence is headfaking yourself into distracting the lizard brain portion that didn't evolve for the last ten thousand years of rabid human social change and thus detects a bunch of social interactions as varying forms of threats.
Same way NLP works, or stupid shit like seduction, or sales techniques.
It's all about slowing down and distracting yourself with the process.
People that do all this dont realize the trick is you're thinking less because you've slowed down and this comes off as confidence.
Think about it. What do nervous people do? Either talk way less, and/or when they *do*, talk fast and lack certainty. What does confidence techniques and all that shit do? Causes you to slow down, follow process which makes answers clearer usually, and causes you to speak more freely (even if its more structured).
Thats the entire game.
Give yourself time to think and room to answer, to think of a question and formulate a response. Assume nothing while you do so.
One trick I use that boils *all* the other processes down is this: Anything you go to say, pause, look the person in the eye, and wait 1-2 seconds to respond. Remember to blink, and remember to gesture as you normally would.
Treat every conversation as a casual dialogue over coffee with a friend discussing colors of paint for a kitchen. Its a slow process isn't it?
Same thing with any other conversation. People will find you a lot more deliberate, confident, warm and unassuming.3
Got home exhausted the other day. Told my non-tech wife that I have a lot to do. She asked, if she could do anything for me I need. I said: "Well, I need a network aware LoggerComponent." She replied: "Is that something I could paint?" My facial expression let her burst out in laugher within one second.1
goddammit my 3DS' shell is flaking hard
anyone know how i could just pull all the red plastic shit off it so i can paint it?4
I paint as a hobby and i think I'll go the github way and relabel the black colors as nightly 🤔 and whites as salt 😃 (!?).
Sorry, don't mean to be a racist, i practically didn't differentiate between people based untill i was told in school that we should not differentiate based on color or race 🤣. Everyone was just a human before those lessons.3
So my math teachers who don't even know a single bit about Dev, even ms paint, came into the IT classroom and said
"Learn hard students, get good marks for Advanced Level and get a scholarship. Then become a software engineer. Then you'll have a wonderful life. You'll have a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, Mercedes, big house. You'll be able to live in relaxation"2
I want to get into windows, mac etc. development. So what program is good for making a program like for example paint or any simple program for windows10
Does anybody know a good free software for whiteboarding and quick sketching?
I tried Leonardo and it's actually pretty damn good but is not free at all, tried Mischief and has some really bad performance issues (plus is not maintained anymore), tried Milton but is still immature, anything else (OneNote, Gimp, Krita) is just not what I need.
I want it quick, lightweight and easy to use just like Leonardo, but free.
So much was my disappointment that I decided to create my own sketching software from scratch while studying...2
Wiriting documentation is the single most boring thing I can imagine.
Fuck, it'd be more entertaining watching paint dry, or seeing the grass grow.6
My dad used to make me draw things on Microsoft Paint when I was 4 to 6.
I'll never forget all those "firefighter helicopters"
Pretty boring story really. I was very young and don't remember any details, but one day my father let me use his pc. The only thing I really remember is playing some games and using Paint. (Feels a bit uneccessary to add, but I naturally clicked on everything and tried to understand how everything works.)1
Windows => MacOS
Edge => Safari
taskbar => dock
File Explorer => Finder
Cortana => Siri
start menu => launcher
Control panel => system preferences
Notepad => Text Edit
Task manager => Activity monitor
Visual Studio => Xcode
command prompt => terminal
paint => preview
Disk Management => Disk Utility
Action center => Notification Center
everything is one app. just the name is the difference14
Did you know a tigers tongued is so rough it can lick the paint off the side of a building?
Gives new meaning to the phrase "oral sex."
On a semi-related note, Samsung uses a butt-shaped robot to make sure its phones won't break when people sit on them.
OMG I hate html2pdf.
WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ENORMOUS SPACES EVERYWHERE ?! WOULD YOU LIKE THAT IF I STARTED TO PAINT IN WHITE ALL YOUR WORK ? WELL NO BECAUSE YOU DO IT ALL BY YOURSELF !9
I still don't understand what the hell Gigs of Anniversary Update did! I don't see a change except the login screen.
PS: I don't care if they added Paint 3D.4
My first exposure to a computer was about the time I was on second or third grade. I remember of being at a library where my aunt worked and she taught me how to use a computer. It was running windows 95 or 98, I can't really recall which, and I was messing with paint and word mostly. Maybe played some games too?! Those that came with the OS I think 😅
(first rant. woot!)
What the fuck are people eating in this office?? How the hell do they manage to spray paint the entire back side of the toilet bowl with a thick layer of fudge? Why the fuck would they think everyone else needs to see their spray painting skills?
Let's start by saying that I fucken know nothing.
Not even how to fucken start this rant.
I have to build a simple game for a university project.
Since everyone in my team chose plain swing/awt, and for many other reasons, I jumped on that band wagon.
Knowing myself and that I quit the project last year, I chose an extremely simple type of game with very simple goals and Use-cases.
So far so good.
Logic, layer, and nearly everything else is nearly finished.
Since about 3 month.
Friends helped me restructure my game for better layer separation and I couldn't be happier with how that turned out.
But all those 3 month, my main problem has persisted.
I can't get it to draw a thing on the jframe.
For 3 month.
3 fucken month.
And now I don't even get a jFrame anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK
Git, tell me, what have I changed?
Nothing related to construction of the frame?
Ok, I removed a call to repaint there.
Let's putt it back.
NOPE, no JFrame.
What the actual fucken hell?
This is where you can stop reading, after this there will only be me crying about everything.
Sweet tears. 😭
In-between I got a frame, and something was drawn onto it.
But only on construction.
I couldn't get the paint chain to run a single time after that.
I have a nice thread with some loops that is supposed to update the logic and make a call to repaint/ update/ refresh the frame so that the game runs nicely with 60fps.
Logic works fine, but no call to what ever does anything related to painting.
This morning I had the idea that it might be because of the thread.
Refactored that the game loop runs in the main thread and here I now am without a jFrame.
And still 3255 letters to go.
I don't even even even even even..,...5
I signed some forms digitally yesterday the manual way...
1. Create a picture from phone using a paint app and send to PC
2. Use Paint Net to remove the white bg, Make it transparent
3. Use PDF creator software and import the original doc and signature image
Told my parents and they said show us next time
But how do you explain that or even bother explaining it to people that can't seem to be able to use the Locast subscription that I have on their SmartTV....
The tv is a Samshit model so can't install the app but they have a Roku stick which does have the app. I've already shown them several times but they don't get it....
My dad is a dev and my mom is QA....7
Thought I'd share this awesome project to you guys that one of my friends made.
He's trying to get it to over a thousand stars so it would be appreciated if you shared it with all your dev friends 😄
Edit: didn't know what category was best, but now that I think about it it should have been posted in question3
I remember tiny me just sitting in front of the computer barely reaching to the mouse clicking all the icons on the desktop of my dad's Win 98, seeing what comes up until i found something cool to play with like a game or MS Paint. I guess I picked up the «play around with stuff until it works» strategy pretty early.
I just got hired at a small MSP and I’m just utterly fucking frustrated by the shitty tools and complete lack of client documentation. I want to implement tons of FOSS tools for these newbhats but they seem to like spending money on tools that only work half-assedly at best... looking at you LogMeIn!
I’ve setup Apache Guacamole a few times before and want to get each client a guac-srv setup for client’s server mgmt. or PowerShell Web Access for clients.
I want to build AWS infrastructure for clients cause we can use cloudformation or terraform to build infrastructure. But these skunk-taint licking dipsticks would rather support physical 2003 servers. If I didn’t need this job to pay my bills right now I’d be fucking gone.
But... they are very nice people.
Just technologically speaking, they eat lead paint chips for breakfast and like to piss on electric fences for the funsies.
The future will look back on this period in time with astonishment. The fact that people could still browse the internet without using an app or a mobile phone will seem like a bedtime story.
It’s not even fucking close to ok that this very paragraph is inside of a H1-tag with a font-size of 26px! The UI is so big and dumbed down that I feel like I’m trying to navigate a fucking Pixie book with buttons the size of duplo-blocks. And this shit is happening to more and more sites!
It’s like the CSS-stylists assumes that everyone goes around with a pair of binoculars duct taped the wrong way to their forehead. No no, that was not a typo. Writing CSS is not development dude, it’s more like filling out a coloring book. And still most of the “paint” seems to go outside of the shapes somehow. Even I, a backend developer, know about media queries and that you shouldn’t specify font-size in pixels. How come that these guys do not? It’s like a taxi driver not knowing how to switch lane for fucks sake.
I know I can just adjust the page scale with a simple ctrl scrolling maneuver and believe me I do! I just don’t think it’s right that people, by the millions, should be afflicted with carpal tunnel syndrome just because of their ignorance.2
reading most of group rant about "love of coding".
It looks to me as most of people aim at a creative job, like being an artist, maybe a painter like Picasso o Van Gogh.
But they likely are up to an house painter job.
Which is probably not a good example as I'm watching now at the painter in my living room.
So quiet. Spreading the paint very carefully. and quiet. No bosses to scream at him. Satisfaction of a job well done.
And the fucking bill he'll get from me.3
Pfff come on
Its like u wanted them to update and manage ms paint
From xp onwards to win 10 i hav never seen a difference to ms paint
So those who rant about "rip ms paint" can go fuck themselves2
Why do you lil' shits keep making LAYERS and LAYERS of unnecessary abstraction and then call it goddamn progress???
Dude what the fuck is this UEFI shit?!
Why the hell do I NEED to import a frigging library and read tons of boring and overly complicated documentation just so I can paint a pixel on the screen now uh??
Alright alright yeah so the BIOS is a little basic but daaaamit son if you want something a bit more complicated you make it yourself or install an OS that provides it! Like we've been doing it for years!!!
Dude, you don't get to know what a file system is until I tell you!
The PC be like:
"You wanna dereference the 0x0 pointer? There you go: it's 0xE9DF41, anything else?
You wanna write to the screen? Ok I have a perfectly convinient interrupt setup for that.
Wanna paint a pixel yellow? Ok, just call this other interruption. Theere we go.
And it only took four bytes and a nanosecond to do it."
That shit works, and if you want something more complex, but not too much, that still runs efficiently install DOS.
Don't mess around with the hardware pleeease.
We can still understand what's going on down there. Once UEFI steps in, it'll be like sealing a door forever. Long live BIOS damn it all!1
Dev ranting about US foreign policy. Trigger warning!
US has a track record of funding the bloodiest regimes, funding terrorists and then using it to create problems for neighbouring regions. I'll tell you step by step how that's done.
1. Look for opposition in non-aligned/sovereign or even-allied country but opposing viewpoints. (Remember spying on German chancellor, Merkel?)
2. Covertly provide them support (providing fundings, potentially arming them).
3. Slow media propaganda, claim the country is undemocratic.
4. Opposition might stir things up.
5. Paint the current leadership in the sovereign country same as Hitler.
6. Continuous bombardment of propaganda using MSM like CNN, MSNBC, Fox, France24, or bribed insiders.
7. Once the regime is finally toppled, black out the media, and see deals can be made with the opposition (Oil, Military bases, or whatever)
8. Reality: these countries are worse now, but no media coverage because exploitation is complete and no-one gives a shit about democracy or whatever. (If you watch few videos about Iraq, Libya their own people says they shouldn't have toppled their leader.).28
"As a graphic designer, I like to collaborate. I don’t want to be in a cold garret somewhere smoking unfiltered Camels all by myself with paint all over my body." - Carin Goldberg4
1. write down requirements. what exactly do i want?
2. paint possible solution. how could the finished product look like? while doing this i think through each step of the application and often adjust step 1 until i think 'this is it'
3. design model. how could the database look like. what structure do i need?
4. define milestones. What to do first?
5. Start and keep 1-4 up to date
Question for the frontend devs:
When you build the front end of the website, do you keep PageSpeed Insights or Lighthouse analytics in mind,
or is it more of a "I'll deal with that later" kinda deal?
Little backstory to this - Our management wants these analytics to be close to 100% and one of the metrics is Largest Contentful Paint which is 3.2 secs, and I have no idea what that is.14
I hate those websites that paint within one second and then it takes two seconds to load all the other assets. It seems bare minimum to me. Idk about you all but I would rather have it loaded in three seconds instead of me trying to scroll immediately and thinking my computer is going to crash from the low framerate.7
school got to try a old win 3.1 computer played around with paint drawing mario...
then we got a computer at home and i got Delphi with a computer magazine around age 14 and I've been coding ever since :p
To keep myself from doing anything productive on the weekend, I made a little WIP bodged together TF2-Colors page, enjoy?
I know X is missing:
- Language Selection
- Color Information
- Non-Paint Colors
- Refactored Code
- Section Names
- Section Icons
FFS EXCEL WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO BUGGY TODAY? WHAT DID I DO TO PISS YOU OFF?
constant plugin crashes
for some fucking reason the graphs wont re-paint unless i move them around AS IN NOTHING SHOWS UP WHILE TYPING UNLESS I PRESS ENTER, MINIMIZE EXCEL AND OPEN IT AGAIN
Just got whiteboard paint at work. It's called smart paint...how? How is it smart? Stop this idiocy of calling everything smart. Next marketing idiot coming up with that term for no good reason is getting a smart fist in the face3
Linux vs Windows (vs AnyOtherOS) | The Age Old Question
The short answer: It depends. And probably isn't even up to you to choose
The long answer:
No one's forcing you to choose. And you have more than 2 options. (The 3rd being... both. (Unless you're running out of hardware))
You have to mentally replace "Which is better? Linux or Windows?" with "Which one gets me sooner to a completed task that more closely matches the end-user's expectations"
If it's something you're developing for yourself, then use whatever the hell you want, because you know where you want that "finished product" to be used, and in what manner.
But often, everyone around you and their cats are not using what you're using
Have to write a document? Oh.. there's this blue program thingy (no one talks like that), I think it was called "Microsoft Word"
Oh, you don't have that?? How the hell do you edit documents then?
~ Some employer still using MS Word 2009
"I'll send you the PSD", "Make it a PSD", "You need the PSD file for reference, right?"
psd? More like PTSD at this point
It's like Photoshop is suddenly the only way to edit images, oh.. and Paint.
* Use paint. I don't care. If it gets the job done, do it.
Hate Photoshop? Love Gimp? Too bad.
When that god forsaken PSD is emailed to you, you better have a copy of Windows and Photoshop just in case it looks like garbage in.. OR OUT of gimp..
Don't use what people use. Just have everything ready in case your boss still uses MS Word 1839 and you want to ENSURE, it'll look the same on his screen
*It's wrong to limit yourself to just ONE SINGLE OS3
Coding languages but it’s simplified to the extreme:
Should I paint this wall peach or pink?
Coding critiques: You should paint it in green
And for the record, the width and height of the image used are only used in formulas which produce the actual width and height of the mock buttons that get drawn onto the canvas element. And don't worry, the click event handler for these mock buttons is actually the click event handler for the canvas...which checks the coordinates of where the click was made on the canvas. And if the click is over where the button is drawn in, congrats you clicked the button.
Before he began dropping the 20K proposed to remodel my flat, I told my father I much preferred a contractor who was recommended by someone I knew, as opposed to using a big corporation like Home Depot. FAMOUS LAST... a neighbour in my building highly recommended the contractor we chose. And, week 7 [or is it 8?] of what was proposed to take no longer than two weeks has begun afresh!
On Friday the fellow who is the owner of the contract remodeling company was here touching the paint. He was here because I forbade the two painters he sent to do the initial painting job.
My internet cut out suddenly around 1300 Friday. He set to leave for the weekend shortly after that. I mentioned the outage to him. The essence of his reply was that there was no way it could have had anything to do with him. The following day, my internet provider sent a tech out to diagnose the problem. What was the problem? The head of the remodeling firm removed a face plate from the wall where there were telephone wires and disconnect them when he tore the wires as he replaced the face plate.
Although the tech told me he wasn't going to charge my account the $85.00 fee for his services because the outage was caused within my flat, I wish to be sure of this. Which brings us to the punchline.
My internet provider is a lame ass business model, dreamed up by a squint-eyed ex-circus monkey, never well endowed in the top story, and now just plain sad.
There were some 911 outages in Washington State last Thursday night. All during the day Friday when you dialled their freephone #. the recorded announcement, before saying anything else, told you they were experiencing heavier than usual call volumes, and my wait would be greater than `10 minutes. Fine. What fried my La Croix silk was that after their customer service dept closed for the weekend, that outgoing message remained.
Today, I wanted to contact my provider to see if they would know if the $ was going to be charged to my account. After pressing the 'send' key, my computer came back with an error message, saying they were having technical difficulties. So, I went on over to the 'chat' page. There's nothing to click on to take me to this enfabled location. So, can't reach them by phone unless I want to hear, every 30 seconds whether or not I wish to, how sorry they are for my delay.
A few years ago I would've used this as an excuse to have a technicolour meltdown. The reason I'm posting this is that I am now able to see beforehand what I'll be doing to myself getting upset over the circumstances. When I do reach somebody, I'm going to tell them as lightly as possible, that if they were an airline, I wouldn't board any of their aircraft. Ever.
Does anyone know any GOOD (fuck pinta and gnu paint) replacement for Ms Paint on Linux? Or link to mspaint.exe to install it with Wine?3
Well my first exposure to computer was in my first grade. I was taught how to type and how to use MS Paint. However, my main interest in computers began when my dad took me to his work and showed me how to browse websites and play games like Solitaire and Pac Man. For me computer was like a television but with "magic" that allowed you to interact with it..
Question for all you wise neck beards:
I was talking with my boss in his office (I'm an intern), and he was saying one thing I need to work on is making more accurate estimates for when a project will be done. He asked if it was just an attempt to "paint a rosey picture" and asked if I was just afraid to be honest, to which I answered definitely not, I just didn't realize I was being that inaccurate. Any suggestions on how I can correct this? I feel like if I just overestimate by a lot i'm just going to give off a lack of confidence, but I also don't want my boss to think I am just lazing around and not working as hard as I could. Feel like I am in a pickle here.
Also, what are some tips you guys have for staying Focused/Productive? I do a pretty good job as it is, but any more advice would be handy :D
Happy Tuesday Everyone!7
I'm compiling an entire Android build from source. Even with 16 dedicated compilation threads, it's like watching paint dry.
It's nowhere near my early days taking over 24 hours to compile a Linux kernel... But it's still painful.
After we’re finished diminishing the English language to a heaping pile of meaningless tripe I have a meeting with the grand Poobah. Apparently in addition to having an issue with this they also don’t feel like dressing as giant multicolored owls in clown paint is practical
Oh and hail ruby !2
Top 5 Reasons for Not Discussing Weird Topics in Your Graduate Admission Essay
Knowing the top five reasons for not discussing weird topics in your graduate admission essay is very important. There is really no strict requirement about what kind of topic you use, as long as you can discuss it effectively. However, choosing weird topics may not really work for you, especially if it’s a very controversial or sensitive one. The following are the top five reasons why you should avoid discussing weird topics in your essay.
Reason #1: Weird topics are weird.
First off, weird topics are exactly that, weird. The last thing you want to do is weird out your graduate school admission panel, which is almost a sure way of getting yourself that polite rejection letter that every applicant dreads of receiving.
One of the main important points to remember is to think of your audience when writing your graduate admission essay. This audience will be composed of tenured professors, and probably younger teachers closer to your own age. Although it is a good idea not to tailor your essay according to what you think they want to hear, it’s best to stick to a topic that will make the panel want to get to know you more. You can do this by putting yourself in the admission officer’s shoes and trying to feel what your reaction would be with a particular topic you have in mind. Being creative is good, but to any audience, weird is weird, and most audiences will not know how to react to a weird admission essay.
Reason #2: Weird topics may reflect your personality in a bad way.
Weird topics make you look weird, or worse. You may think that a weird topic is the same as a creative topic, something that most experts on admissions officers urge applicants to use. With a weird topic, you can easily make the jump from being creative to just plain strange or worse, someone with an emotional or personality problem. Weird topics, when discussed ineffectively, are bad topics, and can be anything from the death of a pet, recent religious epiphanies, and even parent bashing. These topics are the last topics that can paint you in a good light so avoid these and other similar topics.
Reason #3: Weird topics may not represent the real you.
Weird topics will not paint the real you, unless you are naturally weird. If you really think that being a little bit off will pay off, then by all means do so. But if you want to appear as normal and as emotionally healthy as possible, save the strange stories for Halloween night.
Reason #4: Weird topics may seem too informal.
Weird topics can get too informal. You can be informal but you need to look normal as well in order to avoid appearing irreverent. Some may disagree with this, but often the only way to get on your admission panel’s good side is to tread on the middle ground arefully, and not be too stiff and prudish but not be too loose either.
Reason #5: Weird topics may confuse the readers.
While most schools allow their applicants free reign when it comes to writing an admissions essay, you can do your self a lot of good by treading on the middle ground. Avoid weird or strange topics if you can. A weird topic will put your readers in a place where they may not understand you. And in a process where getting to know you as a person is the main objective, this move will definitely have an effect on whether you get accepted or not. Knowing what to write in a graduate school admission essay is fairly easy, especially if the school provides you with a set of questions, known as prompts as your guide. As long as you already have the other requirements such as the right grade point average, recommendation letters, program of study and the like, you can start working on your essay. But if your still not sure whether it good idea to write essay by yourself. You can find tons of great quality writing services such as https://uk-essays.com/research-pape.... At such a websites you’ll easily find help from from people who already have considerable experience in writing a wide variety of essays. They will gladly help in any issue that makes you difficult.
Maybe I can paint myself up like I'm 80 and sneak aboard a bus of senior citizens and then wash the makeup off on the other side3