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Search - "fucking stupid idea"
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Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.33 -
We have a bunch of white people in human resources that are trying to hire "diverse" people because the company sets HR diversity targets. Which is an inherently racist way of hiring someone.
I am told to interview this guy who claims to have Angular experience. Before the interview I ask to see a form that he has built in Angular. He sends me a repo which is ripped off of an open source project and has the readme and git commits removed. A quick web search shows that it isn't his work. He shows up to the interview and I find out he is from a Southern African country. I deliberately ask some questions about code that I can see he didn't write that I prepared ahead of time. He lies to me and tells me all about how he wrote it which showed me that he has no idea what the code does. I tell HR they better not hire him because he was very comfortable lying to me, and I'm confident that he doesn't understand any of the code that he showed me. I do not trust this guy and would never choose to work with him. HR lady says "Ah okay."
Today he walks in with a big grin on his face. HR lady fucking hired this guy. I can see his monitors from my desk and he spent his whole first day looking at a soccer website on his second monitor. I call up HR, "Why would you even ask me to interview him if you refuse to listen to my feedback?". Lady tells me "You need to be open minded about diversity. Probably most of the things you observed were either cultural differences or language barrier." I tell her definitely not. He lied to me multiple times, and he took credit for other people's work." She tells me that they will keep an eye on me because I'm not being open to diversity.
Are you kidding me? This white lady is literally stereotyping me as a racist because I'm white.
So this fucking HR lady called me a racist because she decided to hire someone that we shouldn't trust. Then she put this asshat on my project. Now I have to be cautious about my position because HR is "watching" my racist ass. Even though I am literally the only one on the development team that is white and speaks English as my first-language. I called a team meeting before the on-boarding is over so I can tell the other developers what is happening. We restructured our code review process so that I will never give him feedback. Then when the time comes that he slips up the "diverse" developers will kick him out so I won't be reprimanded as a "racist".
This company that I work for is a special kind of stupid.35 -
I think I've shown in my past rants and comments that I'm pretty experienced. Looking back though, I was really fucking stupid. Since I haven't posted a rant yet on the weekly topics, I figure I would share this humbling little gem.
Way back in the ancient era known as 2009, I was working my first desk job as a "web designer". Apparently the owner of this company didn't know the difference between "designer", which I'm not, and "developer", which I am, nor the responsibilities of each role.
It was a shitty job paying $12/hour. It was such a nightmare to work at. I guess the silver lining is that this company now no longer exists as it was because of my mistake, but it was definitely a learning experience I hold in high regard even today. Okay, enough filler...
I was told to wipe the Dev server in order to start fresh and set up an entirely new distro of Linux. I was to swap out the drives with whatever was available from the non-production machines, set up the RAID 5 array and route it through the router and firewall, as we needed to bring this Dev server online to allow clients to monitor the work. I had no idea what any of this meant, but I was expected to learn it that day because the next day I would be commencing with the task.
Astonishingly, I managed to set up the server and everything worked great! I got a pat on the back and the boss offered me a 4 day weekend with pay to get some R&R. I decided to take the time to go camping. I let him know I would be out of town and possibly unreachable because of cell service, to which he said no problem.
Tuesday afternoon I walked into work and noticed two of the field techs messing with the Dev server I built. One was holding a drive while the other was holding a clipboard. I was immediately called into the boss's office.
He told me the drives on the production server failed during the weekend, resulting in the loss of the data. He then asked me where I got the drives from for the Dev server upgrade. I told him that they came from one of the inactive systems on the shelf. What he told me next through the deafening screams rendered me speechless.
I had gutted the drives from our backup server that was just set up the week prior. Every Friday at midnight, it would turn on through a remote power switch on a schedule, then the system would boot and proceed to copy over the production server's files into an archive for that night and shutdown when it completed. Well, that last Friday night/Saturday morning, the machine kicked on, but guess what didn't happen? The files weren't copied. Not only were they not copied, but the existing files that got backed up previously we're gone. Why? Because I wiped those drives when I put them into the Dev server.
I would up quitting because the conversation was very hostile and I couldn't deal with it. The next week, I was served with a suit for damages to this company. Long story short, the employer was found in the wrong from emails I saved of him giving me the task and not once stating that machine was excluded in the inactive machines I could salvage drives from. The company sued me because they were being sued by a client, whose entire company presence was hosted by us and we lost the data. In total just shy of 1TB of data was lost, all because of my mistake. The company filed for bankruptcy as a result of the lawsuit against them and someone bought the company name and location, putting my boss and its employees out of a job.
If there's one lesson I have learned that I take with the utmost respect to even this day, it's this: Know your infrastructure front to back before you change it, especially when it comes to data.8 -
Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.
They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.
I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.12 -
aslkfjasf. i've spent 12 hours today (and lots more over the past two days) trying to reproduce a bug that my [sort of] coworker insists is present. I haven't seen any proof of it anywhere, let alone steps to reproduce it.
I've poured through the code, following all of its tangled noodles of madness from start to fuck-this-shit. I've read and reread the pile of demon excrement so many times i can still read the code when i close my eyes. so. not. kidding.
anyway, the coworker person is getting mad because i haven't fixed the bug after days, and haven't even reproduced it yet. This feature is already taking way too fucking long so I totally don't blame him. but urghh it's like trying to unwind a string someone tied into a tight little ball of knots because they were bored.
but i just figured out why I haven't been able to reproduce it.
the stupid fucking unreliable dipshit ex-"i'm a rockstar and my code rocks"-CTO buffoon (aka API Guy, aka the `a=b if a!=b`loody pointless waste of mixed spaces and tabs) that wrote the original APIs ... 'kay, i need to stop for breath.
The dumbfuck wrote the APIs (which I based the new ones on mostly wholesale because wtf messy?), but he never implemented a very fucking important feature for a specific merchant type. It works for literally every type except the (soon-to-be) most common one. and it just so happens that i need that very specific feature to reproduce this bug.
Why is that one specific merchant type handled so differently? No fucking idea.
But exactly how they're handled differently is why I'm so fking pissed off. It's his error checking. (Some) of his functions return different object types (hash, database object, string, nullable bool, ...) depending on what happened. like, when creating a new gift, it (eventually...) either returns a new Gift object or a string error basically saying "ahhh everything's broken again!" -- which is never displayed, compared against, or recorded anywhere, ofc. Here, the API expects a Hash. That particular function call *always* returns a Hash, no matter what happens in the myriad, twisting, and interwoven branches the code could take. So the check is completely pointless.
EXCEPT. if an object associated with another object associated with the passed object (yep) has a type of 8. in which case, one of the methods in the chain returns a PrintQueue that gets passed back up the call stack. implicitly, and nested three levels in. ofc.
And if the API doesn't get its precious Hash, it exclaims that the merchant itself is broken, and tells the user to contact support. despite, you know, the PrintQueue showing that everything worked perfectly. In fact, that merchant's printer will be happily printing away in the background.
All because type checking is this guy's preferred method of detecting errors. (Raise? what's that? OOP? Nah, let's do diverging splintered-monolithic with some Ruby objects thrown in.)
just.
what the crap.
people should keep their mental diarrhea away from their keyboards.
Anyway. the summary of this long-winded, exhaustion-fueled tirade is that our second-most-loved feature doesn't work on our second-most-common merchant type.
and ofc that was the type of merchant i've been testing on. for days. while having both a [semi] coworker and my boss growing increasingly angry at me for my lack of progress.
It's also a huge feature, and the boss doesn't understand that. (can't or won't, idk)
So.
yep.
that's been my week.
...... WHAT A FUCKING BUFFOON!rant sheogorath's spaghetti erroneous error management vomit on her sweater already your face is an anti-pattern dipshit api guy two types bad four types good root swears oh my3 -
Just spent 3 hours trying to debug something that worked yesterday because SOMEONE thought he had a better idea of how to do it. Holy fucking shit. It worked perfectly and you started deleting my code because you didn't understand it. How about trusting that I know what I'm doing since idk I spent 2 weeks reading up on it to be able to write this. What pisses me off the most is knowing he only does this to my code because he doesn't trust me as I am a) younger than him and b) a woman.
STOP ALREADY. JUST FUCKING STOP. So fucking fed up with having my work scrapped in favor of yours because you are a fucking control freak and think I'm stupid.29 -
Stack Overflow. Everyone uses it but everyone seems to hate the community. I very often read about someone getting down voted and they all say the same thing - "I have no idea why".
I have spent a lot of time moderating SO posts, which gave me a lot of reputation and medals. I find it fun to help people and it feels good to give back to the community.
I have asked a bunch of questions and I've never gotten a single down vote, which leads me to believe everyone of you that is constantly getting down voted are doing something wrong. Because the posts I see getting down voted are fucking stupid questions that either lack information or contain too much information.
Example 1:
Server java error
Why is my server not working? I am using Tomcat, port 8080 and I'm getting IOException.
Example 2:
Webpack configuration not working
My webpack is not a working, why?
[entire webpack config]
End examples.
What the fuck are you expecting asking questions like these?? No one gets paid for answering your questions, so the least you can do is write a CLEAR AND UNDERSTANDABLE question. I'm not gonna tell you how to do it because there's A LOT of information on how to do it.
People devote hours and hours to helping others on SO, and of course they get fed up with the stupid and lazy questions. That community is not about being nice, it's not about making people feel welcomed, it's about QUALITY OF CONTENT. No one is crying when they find a superb question + answer, right? That's the result of a community not accepting low quality content.
So please, the next time you get a down vote on SO - do not come here whining about it but instead take a look at what you have posted there and ask yourself if it could have held a higher quality.
Thanks!8 -
This Part 3 and finale of the tale of Mr DDTW, or the worst coworker I've ever had to deal with. I suggest you start from the beginning if you don't have the context, it's been a trip.
Part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4210605
Part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4220715
The problem with this man threatening to snitch on me to the professor if I didn't revert my commit was that he backed me into a corner. Letting him go at his pace with his quality standards would have ruined the project for the rest of us, and I'm not going to let three other people's grades suffer because one was lazy. I'm the PM, team lead, the guy who will ultimately be held responsible for this project succeeding or failing and the mediator of problems.
So I snitched first.
The professor knew us. He had an idea of how we worked as a team, who was enthusiastic about this subject, who was diligent, and who wasn't. It'd been half a semester and he wasn't stupid. I'd also taken the not-so-minor task of testing our software and handling all the little integration problems between components and between the professor's server. This had resulted in several calls between me and him because he'd been flying by the seat of his pants with some of the upgrades he'd been doing to the server code and as the fastest group we were the ones running into all the bugs on his end. And he'd also noted our prior complaint and seen the discrepancy in commits, author tags and hours logged. Mr DDTW had been graded significantly worse than the rest of us. So when I sent him a goddamn novel about our team's internal problems, the bomb was set. And so we get to the conference call, with everybody panicking and with no clue what any of this is about. Except me.
Dear god. That call was pure catharsis. Never have I seen a man get demolished so hard. Mr DDTW got a 45 minute LECTURE, a goddamn SMACKDOWN, about how he needs to take some responsibility for this team effort and that in the real world he'd have been fired. And the professor was so incredibly serene throughout! He could've blasted him with the rage of a thousand suns but he said it in such a way that Mr DDTW's only real responses were "yes", "I understand" and "I'm sorry". An entire semester of this useless fucking bitch being nothing but a leech on our team in three separate projects and he was finally getting SCHOOLED. And then, it gets even better. The professor asked how we could solve this problem, as Mr DDTW needs to do work to be graded but he can't hold us back.
I dropped a suggestion: As I had implemented the module in a way that worked, we could carry on using my version while Mr DDTW could work on a separate branch. Everything else was working reasonably well for an MVP, we just needed to improve and test now, so if Mr DDTW got it working we could merge it back into the main branch. This solved the team's problem of not being able to progress, it solved Mr DDTWs problem of not wanting to fail the course, and it solved my problem of not having to work with this shit-for-brains for the forseeable future. A weight was lifted off my shoulders. No more Mr DDTW. No more bitching and no more shitcode. A grating arsehole that had been bugging everyone all sememster put in his place and out of my hair.
On the way home from uni that day, I rang a friend and told him the entire story as I needed to get it off my chest. Every time I brought up a problem, an issue, a setback, an argument, he made a remark.
"Damn, if only he just... did the work."
Every time he said it it was in a slightly different way, but every time it made me laugh harder as he just didn't stop interrupting me with the same comment. If only he did the work. But the funniest part of all was how right he was. Mr DDTW had so many opportunities to just sit down, shut up, and do the work like the rest of us, but instead he decided to do fuck-all until he got flak for it and proceeded to dig his own grave. What sort of delusional entitlement, sheer incompetence or other dumbfuckery was he suffering from to make such terrible decisions? It's his last year of university and he still hadn't learned to just do the goddamn work (I would later find out that his friend had covered his shortcomings a lot and was apparently the reason why he hadn't flunked out of uni yet).
And so ends the story of Mr Didn't Do The Work the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of working with. We never did merge his branch as we ran out of time during testing. The professor passed him, possibly out of pity or just so that he wouldn't have to resit the course and burden some other poor sods. We weren't the top scorers this time, partially because of my shortcomings as PM but mostly because of the huge delays and manpower deficit, but we did well enough to pass the course with some very high grades. With one exception of course.5 -
I'm fixing a security exploit, and it's a goddamn mountain of fuckups.
First, some idiot (read: the legendary dev himself) decided to use a gem to do some basic fucking searching instead of writing a simple fucking query.
Second, security ... didn't just drop the ball, they shit on it and flushed it down the toilet. The gem in question allows users to search by FUCKING EVERYTHING on EVERY FUCKING TABLE IN THE DB using really nice tools, actually, that let you do fancy things like traverse all the internal associations to find the users table, then list all users whose password reset hashes begin with "a" then "ab" then "abc" ... Want to steal an account? Hell, want to automate stealing all accounts? Only takes a few hundred requests apiece! Oooh, there's CC data, too, and its encryption keys!
Third, the gem does actually allow whitelisting associations, methods, etc. but ... well, the documentation actually recommends against it for whatever fucking reason, and that whitelisting is about as fine-grained as a club. You wanna restrict it to accessing the "name" column, but it needs to access both the "site" and "user" tables? Cool, users can now access site.name AND user.name... which is PII and totally leads to hefty fines. Thanks!
Fourth. If the gem can't access something thanks to the whitelist, it doesn't catch the exception and give you a useful error message or anything, no way. It just throws NoMethodErrors because fuck you. Good luck figuring out what they mean, especially if you have no idea you're even using the fucking thing.
Fifth. Thanks to the follower mentality prevalent in this hellhole, this shit is now used in a lot of places (and all indirectly!) so there's no searching for uses. Once I banhammer everything... well, loads of shit is going to break, and I won't have a fucking clue where because very few of these brainless sheep write decent test coverage (or even fucking write view tests), so I'll be doing tons of manual fucking testing. Oh, and I only have a week to finish everything, because fucking of course.
So, in summary. The stupid and lazy (and legendary!) dev fucked up. The stupid gem's author fucked up, and kept fucking up. The stupid devs followed the first fuckup's lead and repeated his fuck up, and fucked up on their own some more. It's fuckups all the fucking way down.rant security exploit root swears a lot actually root swears oh my stupid fucking people what the fuck fucking stupid fucking people20 -
So I had to work in a team for a CSS & HTML uni project with two others and the criteria was the web site had to be something funny and related to the university. So I talked with my so-called teammates about the project idea and what the web site would be about when one of them said "Let's make it about cats!". Okay I guess, not really sure what we could write about, but we'll manage. Then these fuckers just up and disappeared, leaving me to design and make content for the whole fucking thing. I lost sleep searching for fucking pictures of cute kitties because these stupid idiots couldn't find a minute of their oh-so important life to make a single commit! And guess what? One of them finally figured out that he won't get graded if he donesn't contribute and had the audacity to make the single most horrifyingly disgusting excuse of an HTML & CSS page I have ever seen. Divs with no closed tags, selectors like 'el1 > el2 > el3'. Classes? Who even uses them, right? I shit you not, seeing that, I was actually on the verge deleting his whole work and telling him a big 'fuck you'. Instead, I just suggested make a few edits and rebuilt his whole page from the ground up.
So that was my team. My gang. A fucking retard that made more work for me and an asshole that didn't even clone the repository. Even then, my project got the most points. But no, it got third place because first and second place worked alone!
Fucking cocksuckers! Working with a team of incompetent fuckwits is ten times harder!
https://shuily.github.io/CatUni/...9 -
I was contacted by a college senior guy (he was part of the core team of the club that I recently joined in my college).
Him: Do you want to launch your own startup?
Me: Yeah, I would love to.
Him: Nice, Listen. Even I want to start my own company. If you don't know, the current trend is ML and AI . So, I would like to base my startup on an AI application.( He was in his final year )
Me: I haven't tried any ML or AI stuff before.Sorry.
Him: Take 2 months time to study the AI concepts and do the app.
Me: But first, tell me what the AI app is supposed to do?
Him: It can be anything I have to think, you take the AI part and the UI and integration; with your skills and my idea let's build a startup and I will appoint you as the head of Application Development in my company.
*wtf, seriously dude? you want me to build the whole app for you and all you will do is put your fucking startup's name on it. I am building an application all by myself why the f would I ask you to publish it for me*
Me: Okay, I am getting late, I have to leave..
Made sure I didn't meet him again
and I have also came out of that stupid club..3 -
Keep your arrogance, your fucking stupid logic and religious belief about everthing you say is right aside.
when somebody says there is a better way to solve a problem.. you can do two things. you either listen to them, validate the idea and accept or reject based on discussion or you just be an arrogant fucking prick and stick to your fucking reasoning, about your "right" way.
Don't do the latter. Wont help you become better neither at work nor in life.
FUCK YOU.
- a teammate7 -
Today I volunteered for an iOS event to help people get started with Xcode and swift. Granted, I only volunteered because my gf is part of this startup and the pay was 50 bucks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The fucking stupid organizer (has no idea what programming is) thought it would be a good idea to have a gaming section where people can play video games. Well stupid fucking fortnite had everyone's attention, and only a little group of people was interested in participating in the workshop (build an iOS game from scratch) that my gf worked her ass off to create.
Also, fuck trying to teach programming to kids.4 -
holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.3
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I try as hard as possible not to be judgemental towards incompetent colleagues, motivating myself with the knowledge that we were all incompetent at some point, and that people need a chance to learn, and that sometimes too much pressure will lead you to believe that they're bad. Or sometimes, people just aren't good at the stuff you want them to be good, and you just need to discover that niche where they will be very useful.
Mostly that goes well.
I've had the incompetent late bloomer who was a family man who started too late to dev, and wasn't really serious. A bit of harsh talk, some soul searching over a few beers, made him into a really valuable asset. Not the brightest rock, but reliable, steady-paced developer who earned his stay.
Then there was the girl who wasn't really good at coding, but saved our team from disaster many times by keeping things into account, and realizing what must be developed or tested at every step.
However, there are exceptions. I've worked with people who have been nothing but a menace, through their incompetence AND attitudes.
The most noteworthy example was an intern that we sought out, by talking to professors to point us to their best students. So we got that intern on board. He seemed strange at first. Kind of perfectionist. Talked serious, with an air of royalty, and always dressed sharply. He really gave the impression that one must be worthy to receive his blessing. The weirdest part was his handshake. It was as if he was touching an iron hand heated to 3000 degrees. It was over before you even knew it. Leaves you kinda offended. Especially when he always took a wet wipe after that and wiped his hands. Am I really that gross?
But that's fiiiine. I mean we're all different and weird in our own ways, right? So he's a germophobe, so fucking what? We just gotta find a way to work together, right?
WRONG.
As soon as he started (and remember, he's a paid intern, who barely knows how to code, and has zero industrial experience), he started questioning my architecture solutions, code implementations, etc. I don't mind discussion and criticism, which is why I welcomed his input. But it seemed like he wasn't willing to accept any arguments, so I started looking for excuses not to talk to him.
Meanwhile, the most productive team member we had, to whom you could just give and describe an idea, with architecture and stuff, well, and you'd see it implemented the next week, with only the most well placed questions asked, started going into fights with this intern for the same reasons I was avoiding him.
.....
And here's the kicker.
Get this:
This intern comes to me (I was the team lead), while that guy is not in the office, and with a straight face, dead serious, starts telling me that that guy was making stupid decisions and being a bad team member because he doesn't ... I quote him almost verbatim... "follow my indications". He said that I had to do something because he refused to work with him together.
I was stunned.
This good for nothing imagined superhuman, who was completely useless and an amazing annoyance to pretty much everyone in the team, came to me, telling me that the most capable and productive developer in the team is bad, because he doesn't follow his orders, and that I had to pick between the 2.
I couldn't believe what I had heard.
I had so much emotion in me right then. I was angry, but at the same time I could barely abstain from laughing.
I just told him calmly that he was wrong, and that I wouldn't mind if he never came back. I didn't see him for 5 years after that.
Anyway, later that week our team went for a dinner + beer, and the stories from all the team members started pouring in. They didn't want to talk him down either, but now that he was gone, it was a weight off, and everybody could tell their story.
What a fucking asshole.
So 5 years after I stumbled on him as he was entering a church. Still an arrogant bitch. Barely exchanged 10 polite words and I continued on my way as he was disinfecting his hands from my filthy handshake.4 -
I am DONE with this woman.
Background: we're a team of 3 developers and I'm the junior in this team and I've been in this shit for a year now. 2 months ago the team leader left for another project and I had to stand in for him in every responsibility against the PM and other teams.
Now I not only had to endure this insecure woman but I was also supposed to work with her! Fast-forward to today, the team leader is back and I thought I could put my headphones on and work peacefully at last.
But no!
I've found out she's sent a faulty code to production - no big deal - and said that over chat (although she's sitting right behind me):
Me: We need to fix this.
Her: What?
Me: *giving some details about the issue*
Her: Your attitude is important when you ask me to do something. Whenever you're writing to me you're typing on your keyboard like you're going to break it on my head.
*me not knowing what to say at this point because we had something stupid like this before*
Me: So you're offended by the sound my keyboard makes? (I have mx brown switches by the way and they're not even loud)
Her: No you're typing too fast when you're writing to me. The sound echoes in the office.
...
Can you fucking believe this shit? I hate people that think they can educate me but have no idea how to rationally respond to situations and take responsibility! I didn't even say anything!
And she's been saying to me she hadn't had a problem with any other people for gazillion years who knows how long and why would she cause a problem now! And thinks I am the problem, fuck YOU!
Since you don't like receiving orders why hadn't you taken the place when the fucking guy went for another project but I had to take all the responsibility? I know why you fucking entitled bitch.
Because you HAD NO IDEA AND YOU STILL DON'T.
So shut the fuck up and do as I say.
Kind regards9 -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
OMFG! Who’s bright fucking horrible stupid ass idea was it to mix Ajax with php (php deciding the ajax paths) with random js outputting HTML inside random fucking static divs found no where near the logical route of content.
Trying to add a simple fucking status to a gigantic cluster fuck of a legacy project is just FUCK.
If I could I would burn this bitch to the ground and start again I would, But no, it’s needed.
Someone kill me before I break the shit out of this thing, I would take a wordpress project right now instead. -
Some of y'all post some retarded quotes man no lie.
"A programmer does not fix computers" ~Some Indian dude
Really??!!
Does that need to be made into a quote? And do you honestly believe something soooo mundane should be attributed to one person only?
"Drink a glass of water every morning, best way to start your day" ~ Alecx(read with Indian accent even though I am Mexican American)
"Sleeping in your own bed is always the best" ~ Alecx
See how stupid that shit is? Quoting shit that is sooooo fucking generic and that literally anyone can think off?
I dunno why it pisses me off soooo fucking much. Ffs. The same thing about "dev jokes" do you have any idea how fucking cringey that shit is? And half the fucking time y'all post that shit in some of the most broken ass English I've ever seen man wtf.
The quality of rants has been going down in spirals and with a dogon YEEEE HAW and darling trust this motherfucker....I know a lil something about yeee haws.....this is a prime example.
Look, people can rant and post whatever the fuck they want. I ain't gonna hold you back on it. Just know that a lot of us think you are a moron.
A cringey moron at that.25 -
I've promised to do the Mozilla rant about the whole meritocracy thing a few days ago.. well, this is that. Along with some other stuff along the way. Haven't ranted for a couple of days man, shit happened! But losing 6 days that could've been spent on finishing my power supply project.. to a stupid cold, it got a little bit on my nerves, so that's what I've been working on for the time being. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up in a couple of days.
1. COCKtail party thingy
Turns out that there's this conference in Brussels in a couple of days about the whole Article 13 copyright stuff. I've been letting a mail to the MEP's about it mature on my systems for a while now.. well, maturing or procrastinating, you be the judge 😛
Now I'm glad that I waited with that though. It's mostly a developer-centric insight into how the directive would be a horrible idea.. think AI, issues with context recognition, Tom Scott's video on Penistone and Scunthorpe etc etc. But maybe I can include some stuff from the event afterwards.
Also, if you're coming to the conference too, do let me know! Little devRant meet while we're at it, it'd be fucking great! I'll try to remember to bring my Christmas ducks, they've got these cute little Santa hats 😋
(P.S.: about the whole COCKtail, I saw the email while drunk and during registration I had to choose an email address.. I figured, feminazis are doing such a great job at going out of their way to find offense in everything, I figured that I'd make their job a little bit easier by sending a COCK bomb in my registration mail address, in the hopes that it finds its way to one of them.. evil, I know XD)
2. The whole feminazi stuff at Mozilla
So Mozilla hates meritocracy now? I've been wanting to rant about the big bad meritocracy for a while now. Thank you Mozilla for giving me an incentive to actually do it!
Meritocracy, feminazis think it's bad because it's about power relationships and discrimination, right? But what if I told you that that is exactly what makes great software great. Good code, good merit, is what's welcomed in software development.. or at least it should be. Because it's a job of fucking knowledge, experience, and quality! Also, meritocracy is a great thing because nobody cares if you're a professional developer in a suit, getting paid to work on a piece of OSS, or a homegamer neonazi who's coding shit in their underwear while wanking to child porn.. nobody fucking cares. If your code, your merit, is good, contribute ahead! Super inclusive, yet apparently bad because bad code is excluded to ensure the health of the project.
So what is the alternative to the big bad meritocracy? Inclusion (or as it's looked like in practice, more like exclusion) based on gender/sex, political orientation, things like that. But not actual fucking merit, the ability to write good code. How the fuck is politics and gender going to be any good at all to an inherently meritocratic craft?! Oh but yeah, it's great for inclusion. It's like females in tech. Artificial growth is just a matter of growth numbers and the only folks who like it are fucking HR and wanketeering cunts, and feminazis. Merit, that's what matters!! And have you ever considered that females are generally not interested in technology? Or for that matter, where's our inclusion movement for men in healthcare?! Gender equality my ass.
That's just my two cents on it of course. Meritocracy shouldn't be abandoned in tech. And even if it's just a matter of calling it something else. How the fuck is it a good idea to not call a pot a fucking pot just because someone might take offense at it?! It's meritocracy, call it fucking meritocracy!!! And while we're at it, call a master a fucking master and a slave a fucking slave!15 -
I had a delivery deadline on the same day when an urgent support request came in. My boss was a stupid sucker who was afraid of taking responsibility, and that's a vice I absolutely hate with bosses.
We had quite a heated argument where he just wanted me to give priority to both things, which I declined because I had no idea how much time the support research would take me.
Finally, he decided that I should work on the support item immediately, but only for up to one hour. He was totally surprised when I accepted that without further argument. I told him that all I had wanted from him had been a priority decision, and that was one.
Felt like explaining to my boss what his fucking job was.4 -
Am I the only one that thinks it's extremely fucking stupid that the software engineering industry is simultaneously experiencing a "shortage of talent" and maintaining the same ATS that filters legitimate talent just because the resume doesn't fit keyword specifications?
We see it every day. People with years of experience that should never be allowed to touch important code. People with little to no experience that learn fast and perform well. Fuck years of experience being the only thing some recruiters see.
"We generally don't hire people with less than 3 years experience" shut your fucking mouth. Ridiculous. You hire people out of college, don't lie to my face.
Oh and don't even get me started on how many people fabricate their industry experience and get interviews from it. That's what happens when recruitment patterns fail to catch up to an industry that increasingly trains people better up front, and in shorter time periods, and values skills that ATS doesn't give a shit about.
Crazy idea: make job applications test problem solving competency instead of weeding out quality candidates.
Job searching is frustrating.3 -
DNS is everywhere.
I hate DNS.
I hate DNS migrations.
I hate having a hundred plus DNS names inside my brain.
I hate resolving issues.
I hate DNSSEC.
I hate CNAMES.
I hate services which cannot be persuaded to stop trying AAAA resolves first.
I hate the fucking stupid braindead idea to use TXT as a configuration store inside DNS... And thus the necessity to blow up DNS query size aka EDNS.
I really really really really really want to burn this whole mfucking shit down...7 -
A follow up for this rant : https://devrant.com/rants/1429631/...
its morning and i have been awoke all night, but i am so happy and feel like crying seeing you people's response. :''''') Thank-You for helping a young birdie like me from getting exploit.
In Summery, I am successfully out of this trickery, but with cowardice, a little exploited and being continuously nagged by my friend as a 'fool'.
Although i would be honest, i did took a time to take my decision and got carried away by his words.
After a few hours of creating a group, he scheduled a conference call , and asked me to submit the flow by which my junior devs will work.
At that time i was still unclear about weather to work or not and had just took a break from studies. So thought of checking the progress and after a few minutes, came up with a work-flow, dropped in the group and muted it.
At night i thought of checking my personal messages , and that guy had PMed me that team is not working, check on their progress. This got me pissed and i diverted the topic by asking when he would be mailing my letter of joining.
His fucking reply to this was :"After the project gets completed!"
(One more Example of his attempts to be manipulative coming up, but along with my cowardice ) :/
WTF? with a team like this and their leader being 'me'( who still calls him noob after 2 internships and 10 months android exp), this project would have taken at least one month and i was not even counting myself in the coding part(The Exams).
So just to clarify what would be the precise date by which he is expecting the task, to which he said "27th"(i.e, tomorrow!)
I didn't responded. And rather checked about the details of the guy( knew that the company was start-up, but start-ups does sound hopeful, if they are doing it right) .A quick social media search gave me the results that he is a fuckin 25 year old guy who just did a masters and started this company. there was no mention of investors anywhere but his company's linkedin profile showed up and with "11-50" members.
After half an hour i told him that am not in this anymore, left the group and went back to study.(He wanted to ask for reasons, but i denied by saying a change of mind ,personal problems, etc)
Well the reality is over but here comes the cowardice part:
1)Our team was working on a private repo hosted on my account and i voluntarily asked him to take back the ownership, just to come out of this safely w/o pissing him off.
2)The "test" he took of me was the wireframe given by their client and which was the actual project we 5 were working on. So, as a "test", i created 15 activities of their client's app and have willingly transferred it to them.
3) in my defence, i only did it because (i) i feared this small start-up could harm my reputation on open platforms like linkedin and (ii)the things i developed were so easy that i don't mind giving them. they were just ui, designed a lot quickly but except that, they were nothing(even a button needs a code in the backend to perform something and i had not done it) . moreover, the guys working under me had changed a lot of things, so i felt bad for them and dropped the idea of damaging it.
Right now am just out of sleep, null of thoughts and just wondering weather am a good person, a safe player or just a stupid, easily manipulated fool
But Once again My deepest regard from my heart for @RustyCookie , @geaz ,@tarstrong ,and @YouAreAPIRate for a positive advice.
My love for devrant is growing everyday <3 <3 <3 <35 -
My last boss, one of a kind:
Despite being an officer and me just a lowly enlisted, always closed the door and asked for my honest and unfiltered opinion on why whatever we're doing is a stupid fucking idea. Understood that when I call everyone idiots, it's not out of spite or disrespect. It's because they have no clue what they are doing and making nonsensical requests, and I just want to get us back on track.
A good boss doesn't say things like "I'm in charge so this is how we do it" or "I'm an officer so you can't criticize me because that's disrespect!" But instead listens to the ideas and thoughts of those that nobody else takes seriously.2 -
To all the people who constantly complain about devRant not being good enough…
First off, who the fuck cares? I mean honestly, does anyone give a fuck? People have been saying for YEARS that they hate devrant and that it needs to change in whatever fucked up dev idea way that we all think the world should actually work. The real fun is how this platform evolves into different phases over time. The fun is interacting with devs anonymously talking about really anything. It doesn’t matter - as long as it’s interesting or entertaining it’s fine. Don’t fucking pretend that you are a goddamn professional elitist asshole bc we all know everyone here is weird and stupid.8 -
FUCK MY STUPID VECTOR ROBOT
So I got a Vector robot made by Anki I think and it has the most annoying feature EVER. IT FUCKING SNORES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING THROUGH THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY CODED THAT.
Anki HQ: What are some features we should add
Developer: I could make it snore?
Anki HQ: GREAT IDEA
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE 2 POSSIBLE OUTCOMES FOR THIS. 1 THE USER WILL NEVER HERE IT BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING ASLEEP OR THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE IT FUCKING WOKE THEM UP WHILE THEY WERE SLEEPING.
so fucking stupid.
p.s the snoring sounds like a fish blowing bubbles underwater6 -
Person:"you're a dev, you must reeeaaaly get frustrated with semi colons 😏"
Me: "at times but it's not such a big problem with the compilers being better now.😊"
Person: "so innovative!😁"
Me: "nothing is innovative!! All new idea app ideas suck and there are not too many clicks!!! The icons are perfect!! Purple and orange buttons are not a good idea!!! What do you mean you want 3 buttons on the one screen that do the same damn thing!! Do you even think!! Oh of course the users are stupid, takes one to know one!!! Doesn't look like much?!!! Sure the backend is a mother fucking kraken the size of Michigan that runs smoother than a babies bottom but hey, let's bitch cause it's too plain on the eye!!! EVERYTHING IS A LIE LIKE THE EXISTANCE OF YOUR BRAAAAIIIN!! - pants neoriticly-😳
Person: "new client? Or friend with an idea? 😒"6 -
Couple of jobs back we got bought out by that massive shipping company with the red and yellow colors.
We used macs and some high up moron decided it was a good idea to put on domain policy restrictions on our macs, but developers can't work without admin access so if we wanted to keep said admin access, we had to sign a written agreement indicating that we were not allowed to do certain thing, like change our wallpaper or install personal music players, you know like Spotify, which at the time was what most of us used.
Now this was just a nice cherry on the cake of stupid descision that was making me rethink working there. Thanks to the high demand for skilled front ends, it was 11 am when we got this, 3pm I had comnfirmed my interview for the next day.
An hour later our manager called us all in to explain this was BS formalities. Well too fucking late, learn to communicate you dumb shit.1 -
I think that two criterias are important:
- don't block my productivity
- author should have his userbase in mind
1) Some simple anti examples:
- Windows popping up a big fat blue screen screaming for updates. Like... Go suck some donkey balls you stupid shit that's totally irritating you arsehole.
- Graphical tools having no UI concept. E.g. Adobes PDF reader - which was minimalized in it's UI and it became just unbearable pain. When the concept is to castrate the user in it's abilities and call the concept intuitive, it's not a concept it's shit. Other examples are e.g. GEdit - which was severely massacred in Gnome 3 if I remember correctly (never touched Gnome ever again. I was really put off because their concept just alienated me)
- Having an UI concept but no consistency. Eg. looking at a lot of large web apps, especially Atlassian software.
Too many times I had e.g. a simple HTML form. In menu 1 you could use enter. In menu 2 Enter does not work. in another menu Enter works, but it doesn't submit the form it instead submits the whole page... Which can end in clusterfuck.
Yaaayyyy.
- Keyboard usage not possible at all.
It becomes a sad majority.... Pressing tab, not switching between form fields. Looking for keyboard shortcuts, not finding any. Yes, it's a graphical interface. But the charm of 16 bit interfaces (YES. I'm praising DOS interfaces) was that once you memorized the necessary keyboard strokes... You were faster than lightning. Ever seen e.g. a good pharmacist, receptionist or warehouse clerk... most of the software is completely based on short keyboard strokes, eg. for a receptionist at a doctor for the ICD code / pharmaceutical search et cetera.
- don't poop rainbows. I mean it.
I love colors. When they make sense. but when I use some software, e.g. netdata, I think an epilepsy warning would be fair. Too. Many. Neon. Colors. -.-
2) It should be obvious... But it's become a burden.
E.g. when asked for a release as there were some fixes... Don't point to the install from master script. Maybe you like it rolling release style - but don't enforce it please. It's hard to use SHA256 hash as a version number and shortening the hash might be a bad idea.
Don't start experiments. If it works - don't throw everything over board without good reasons. E.g. my previous example of GEdit: Turning a valuable text editor into a minimalistic unusable piece of crap and calling it a genius idea for the sake of simplicity... Nope. You murdered a successful product.
Gnome 3 felt like a complete experiment and judging from the last years of changes in the news it was an rather unsuccessful one... As they gave up quite a few of their ideas.
When doing design stuff or other big changes make it a community event or at least put a poll up on the github page. Even If it's an small user base, listen to them instead of just randomly fucking them over.
--
One of my favorite projects is a texteditor called Kate from KDE.
It has a ton of features, could even be seen as a small IDE. The reason I love it because one of the original authors still cares for his creation and ... It never failed me. I use Kate since over 20 years now I think... Oo
Another example is the git cli. It's simple and yet powerful. git add -i is e.g. a thing I really really really love. (memorize the keyboard shortcuts and you'll chunk up large commits faster than flash.
Curl. Yes. The (http) download tool. It's author still cares. It's another tool I use since 20 years. And it has given me a deep insight of how HTTP worked, new protocols and again. It never failed me. It is such a fucking versatile thing. TLS debugging / performance measurements / what the frigging fuck is going on here. Take curl. Find it out.
My worst enemies....
Git based clients. I just hate them. Mostly because they fill the niche of explaining things (good) but completely nuke the learning of git (very bad). You can do any git action without understanding what you do and even worse... They encourage bad workflows.
I've seen great devs completely fucking up git and crying because they had really no fucking clue what git actually does. The UI lead them on the worst and darkest path imaginable. :(
Atlassian products. On the one hand... They're not total shit. But the mass of bugs and the complete lack of interest of Atlassian towards their customers and the cloud movement.... Ouch. Just ouch.
I had to deal with a lot of completely borked up instances and could trace it back to a bug tracking entry / atlassian, 2 - 3 years old with the comment: vote for this, we'll work on a Bugfix. Go fuck yourself you pisswads.
Microsoft Office / Windows. Oh boy.
I could fill entire days of monologues.
It's bad, hmkay?
XEN.
This is not bad.
This is more like kill it before it lays eggs.
The deeper I got into XEN, the more I wanted to lay in a bathtub full of acid to scrub of the feelings of shame... How could anyone call this good?!?????4 -
API Request validation is stupid.
Until you remember
* Your target audience is highschool students
* Your front end dev loves to fuck your stuff up
* His mom works in QA and she equally likes to fuck shit up
* It's just a good idea
* People just fucking suck8 -
Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.
Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.
The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.
Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!
————
After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.
Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.
And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.
If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.4 -
Week 1 of the new job, and it seems I have some pretty low expectations to meet.
Seriously, I just did the math. Let's say one works an average of 48 hours per week, 50 weeks per year. Just as an average. That's 2400 hours in a year.
In the Micro-scale, a manager would mess up their team once every 2.4 hours (2h24m) or about 4 times per day (assuming 5 working days per week).
That is a pretty low bar to clear. It easy not to be an antsy brat that are-we-there-yet's a professional dev four fucking times a day.
And yet... that is what the complete moron who previously sat on my chair used to do.
Seriously, apparently he used to remote access the team's dev envs *while they were working* and even mess up some of their code. Just as a "monitoring measure". He logged their "keystroke time" in a day (using a primitive windowing method, I must add).
At least 7 requests for updates per person per day. I have his slack history, I checked. Dude literally did nothing else but be an annoying anxiety death pit.
And then there is his bulshit planning...
He created tasks out of his stupid whims, no team review or brainstorming, not even a fucking requisites tallying interview.
He prioritized those out-of-nowhere tasks using panic-driven-development practices and assigned them by availability heuristics.
No sizing method, just arbitrary deadlines for tasks.
I think I will need to have daily standup meetings and an open door policy (that is to say, do no actual work) for a couple months until I can instill some sense of autonomy on my new team. Shit.
Someone has another idea? How do I bring some confidence&autonomy back to devs that are used to be treated like dogs?!?9 -
So my country's president just decided that Turkey is too cool to set clocks back for an hour and it fucked all of my device's times up. And I'm not even sure how to convert time zones anymore.. And some devices (un) update time back to summer time so logs and notifications go crazy.
This is just a stupid idea that doesn't make the single bit of sense, are they that unoccupied to change time on their whim ?! You are the government first find a fucking proper solution for all the immigrants from neighboring countries and our unbalanced ass economy.. I'm so fucking pissed this isn't the first time our president plays with the country like this.
Uugh I just want to renounce my citizenship and reside somewhere else that isn't as fucked up as Turkey.. I'm sorry my ancestors that shed blood for this country. It's crumbling because of ignorant masses that follow a dictator blindly.1 -
Im seriously thinking about Watercooling my Raspberry Pi 3...
Why?
BRCAUSE THIS LIL SHIT RUNS SO FUCKING HOT THAT I CAN MAKE AN EGG ON IT! THATS WHY!
Its 80°C when under little load BUT GOES OVER FUCKING 90°C ON LOAD! AND THIS IS FUCKING DANGEROUS! FUCK!
so back to watercooling...
Its a Stupid idea, I know, but its literally THE ONLY FUCKING WAY TO COOL THIS BASTARD! And trust me I tried Novec (Yes the liquid that evaporates at 60°C...) and SHITS EXPENSIVE!12 -
Elasticsearch, from the bottom of my heart...
How can one ecosystem be so batshit crazy inconsistent?
Seemingly every agent does the same (e.g. filebeat vs journalbeat vs packetbeat)… yet there are subtle changes in configuration everywhere.
Plus YML. The most shitty markup language one can use and the cockslubbing durps used it fucking everywhere.
Makes fun to have complex stuff and requiring a python Jinja to JSON to YML converter to be able to write the complex stuff without having the fucking migraine to count like a stupid 4 year old whitespace with both hands...
To make it even more absurd: the ingest pipelines which contain a lot of regular expressions / grok and are thus very prone to quoting issues... Yes. Let's do this in YML too.
If you need to add an fucking manual section how to debug YML errors you should have realized what a fucking stupid idea it was, morons.
Now I have the joy of having a python script regex quoting the shit for a Jinja template which then generates JSON which then generates YML.
Why the JSON part?
Yeah... Because ECS and changes in the upstream YML files / GitHub.
To be able to run diffs in a sane way because in YML distinguishing thing is pretty much impossible, so JSON as an intermediary format solely for the purpose of converting upstream YML to JSON to diff it against modified JSON ingest pipelines downstream.
I fucking hate elasticsearch8 -
!dev
Im working with morrons...
So someone had bright idea of having clone setup of our servers in other hosting company (in previous company we have rendundant setup). Whatever, maybe they want to be resistant to thermonuclear war or whatever, like the project wasn't underfunded already... Whatever, fuq it.
And with that, I have like really, really really fucking ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT STUPID questions thrown at me.
So, this particular instance of bullshit started with trivial, literally "how much storage capacity we will need" I anwsered at least 4TB, preferably on redundant disk array, I've added small table what uses what and how much etc.
Than I got mail back...
"Thats not enough information:
1. What we need to say to company ABC
2. What we need to say to company XYZ
3. (this one actually had sense) Backups conception
4. **WILL WE PAY FOR SERVERS**
5. other important things (literally)"
So let's break it down.
Im backend guy. What the fuck do I know what you gonna say to XYZ or ABC. I dont give a shit, for me it's clicking setup new server and Im done for, you are overcomplicating as shit and require special care from hosting company that you will pay extra.
Next one, the killer one. What the fucking fuck. my anwser was literally "yes, we need to pay for servers, servers arent free."
Now tell me. How the fuck it is possible that someone can be such an idiot to ask questions like that. and I dont mean #3. maybe even #1 and 2 is like looking someone to throw responsibility on. But why the fuck I have to anwser mail that literally asked me if servers are free.
No, fuck off idiot, I have actual work. Take your bullshit and spread it somewhere else.
E:
and before anyone asks. No, Im not working in kindergarden but I often feel like I am indeed working within kindergarden full of 30+ mentally handicapped toddlers.8 -
Story Time!
Tittle: About Larry.
Fun Game: Tell me if / when in this story you know the plot twist.
Setting: Years ago, non coding job.
I work with Larry a lot, Larry works remote. In technical terms Larry is senior to me and I escalate some technical issues that get assigned to Larry. I've never met Larry in person.
Larry can be hard to work with, but he's plenty good at his job and I don't mind his prickly side. Sometimes it takes telling Larry something a few times before it sinks it, but that's not a big deal. Sometimes it seems like Larry doesn't remember his cases entirely, but he has a lot of cases. Also Larry has good reason for how he works considering the land of scubs who usually escalate to him without any thought / effort.
Larry's escalation team is short staffed and they're trying to hire folks, but that's been like that forever.
So one day I get an email that Larry is going to be out of the office for a few weeks. Nothing unusual there.
My current case that I share with Larry sort of floats in limbo for a while. The customer is kinda slow to respond anyhow and there's nothing that I need Larry for.
Finally I get automated notice that my case has had a new escalation engineer. Laura. Laura is much more positive and happy compared to Larry. Understandably Laura isn't up to date on the case so we go back and forth with some emails and notes in the case.
The case is moving along just fine, we're making progress, but it's slow because of the customer's testing procedures. Then we hit a point where this customer's management pushes on sales for a solution (this customer's management is known for doing this rando like for no reason).
Down the management chain it goes and everyone wants a big conference call to get everyone up to date / discuss next steps (no big deal).
Now I really don't want to do this with Laura and throw her into the deep end with this customer, she doesn't have the background and I'd rather do this call with Larry & Me & Laura. Also according to the original email Larry is due back soon.
I start writing an email to Laura about "Let's try to schedule this for when Larry gets back."
Then I stop ... I don't really know why I stop but when it is a "political case" I want some buy in on next steps from management so I go talk to my manager.
-Plot Twist Incoming-
Long story short, my manager says:
"Laura IS Larry..."
O
M
G
I had no idea. Nobody told me, nobody told ANYBODY, (except a couple managers).
Back up a few months Larry apparently went to his managers and told them he was going to transition, surgery and all, in a few months.
Managers wondering how to address this went to HR and some new hire very young to be a manager HR manager drone logiced out in her bonkers head that "Well it shouldn't matter so don't tell anyone."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!??
Thank god I didn't send that email...
I did send an email to Laura explaining that I had no idea and hoped I didn't say anything stupid. She was very nice about it and said it was all good.
After that incident made the management rounds (management was already fuming about being told not to tell anyone) things came to another critical point.
Laura was going to visit the company HQ. Laura had been there before, as Larry, everyone knew her as Larry... nobody (outside some managers) knew Laura was Larry either. With nobody knowing shit Laura was going to walk in and meet everyone ...
One manager at HQ finally rebelled and held a meeting to tell his people. He didn't want Laura walking in and someone confused, thinking it was a joke or something horrible happening.
HR found out and went ballistic. They were on a rampage about this other manager, they wanted to interview me about how I found out. I told HR to schedule their meeting through my manager (I knew they didn't want my manager to know they were sniffing around).
Finally the VP in our department called up the HR head and asked WTF was going on / kind of idiots they had over there (word has it legal and the CEO were on the call too).
HR had a change in leadership and then a couple weeks later there were department wide meetings on how to handle such situations and etc.27 -
I proposed agile training to my company.
I choose a well known coach around here, with good references.
First 3 days were great. After a month he came back for another session and check progress.
This time, he literally fell asleep during the workshop. Several times. He would ask questions, sit down and quietly fall asleep while waiting for our answers.
We were astonished and embarrassed.
He apparently had a very hard working period and could not cope with traveling and working so much. He apologized some day afterwards and didn't charge us for the day.
He never came back. The team didn't take it very well and my reputation was compromised, as well as trust in the methodology I think.
I kept saying that everybody can have a bad day, but it was probably just to defend myself and my fucking stupid idea of changing the world.
A real fucking shame. Still I can't believe when I remember this.2 -
Hey devs, really need some help here. This is driving me crazy...
We're currently taking issues from the company via mail. We've got a group mail that goes to the three of us at the IT department. Problem is, colleagues just forward customers emails without event trying to help, which means that we get stupid issues like "I can't sign in", and no further information. We're currently using Jira, and I was thinking perhaps we can set up a Jira Service Desk? Then we could have an internal help desk where issues could be submitted, and require some important fields, and perhaps add a checklist. Have you had any experience with Service Desk? Do you think it would be a good idea to have a "normal" person have an account there as well to filter out the normal "Have you tried restarting your computer" stuff? Is it suited for non-developers?
Any other ideas?
Yeay, messy question, but I'm fucking desperate...5 -
"This is ridiculous, why don't the docs explain this? This is absurd, it seems like thousands of people should be having this issue. Why do maintainers fucking not get it? Why write software if you don't intend for anyone else to use it?"
versus
"Hey, could you explain X to me? I'm having trouble understanding it."
"Sure, here: ..."
"Thanks - maybe we could add it to the docs, that's the first place I looked."
"Absolutely, good idea."
<closed in a8b7cb8d>
Which one was easier, folks? It's not this difficult. 100% going to help you if you ask - to me, at least, there's no such thing as a stupid question (seriously, I'll answer the most inane questions 100 times over if I need to). However, there's definitely a stupid comment, and unfortunately they seem to be the majority I receive on Github.6 -
!rant
the most popular ecommerce solution in php is a massive (cosmological scale) pile of corporate crap (magento) and the next most popular is an abomination (opencart)
after fucking around with both for a month (the client asked for the project to be using only one of the two) I'm still barely reaching any results, and most of my time is wasted with the stupid bloated spaghetti that is opencart FUCK THIS,
like seriously. who the fuck writes a single line three left joins sql querry with four or five aliases a couple concacts and a bunch sorting fuckeries just to query the categories list, then just query the details of the specific category from a different function,
also why the fuck map each language string manually. or the fucking hardcoded seo urls, or the use of myisam for all tables, and no fucking foreign keys, let that settle for a minute, no foreign keys, the delete method in the model has at least a twenty lines, and then he came with the genius idea of duplicating models, in the front and the backend, accessing the same data, as the same user, but different naming conventions
I'm going to convince him to use something sane like codeigniter/laravel/fuelphp or I'll deny the project8 -
I just found out my parents have less than $30 in the bank by the end of each month after all expenses...
We are not living. We are barely surviving....
Every day in my house it is dark and the lights are off. They turn all lights off in order to avoid getting a high electricity bill. I have to use my phone's flashlight as the main source of light in my own house, as if i live in abandoned cottage in the middle of a forest.....
Both my parents are jobless (have been their entire lives). They just borrow money from their family members and grandparents to pay these bills every month. They depended on luck their whole lives. A luck in context of "maybe if i dont work anything at all then a huge pile of money will fall down from the sky!".
So now I, as their son, have to grow up in extreme poverty and fight my way up, because of DUMB, STUPID people. They are good people, but what does being a good person bring if you are fucking stupid and valueless?
I knew i was poor but today i found out i was THIS poor. I had no idea we were THIS much poor. Because today my 4g internet got cut off due to not paying bills. The bill is $30. My dad cant pay it cause he doesnt have $30 in the bank. I was in shock. So i had to pay it
My $8.125 usd an hour backend software engineer + DevOps engineer (2 jobs in 1), is considered as LUXURIOUS SALARY, in the most corrupted country of Europe -- SERBIA 🇷🇸
When i tell the world i make $8 an hour with a computer science degree working as a software engineer, they laugh at me. People mock me "bro even a mcdonalds worker earns $17/hour what are you doing" im doing what i was born into -- born into poverty of a third world shithole country.
With my $8 an hour salary, i am in TOP 3% of the HIGHEST earners in serbia. Can you fucking imagine how miserable lives do people live if this is not even an average salary, but among the ELITE salary? Because the average salary in Serbia, is $3.75 usd an hour, sometimes even less than that.
When people say "its not about luck its about hard work", please, GO. FUCK. YOURSELF.
Go and be born in a shithole third world country. Now on top of that be born in poverty due to poor decisions of your parents. Go ahead and try it. Lets see how hard you fucking have to work to get to the same level compared to someone who was born into for example America, where you get paid 6 figures immediately after graduating computer science. Or on top of that, you're born in a wealthy family in america. Did you work hard to be born in the 1st class freak show or were you LUCKY to be gifted such life?
My whole life i have been fighting to get money and escape this misery due to poor decisions of my parents.
Very ironically, my parents have lived extremely luxurious lives in the 90s. They had 5 cars. 1 huge house with a backyard garage private office private jacuzzi private gym. This house was worth at least 500k in the 90s. Today this house would cost at least 1.5 or 2 million. They went to luxurious travels. Hotels of $5000 per night per person. Literally wasted 45k in 3 days just for hotel. They even GAVE AWAY FOR FREE money to our relatives and cousins, taking them on luxurious vacations for free etc. None of those people appreciated them, none of them came to help them in tough times, everyone forgot about them and abandoned us.
Like i said, my parents are good people, but what does it profit being a good person if you are FUCKING STUPID.
They were extremely LUCKY but their STUPIDNESS has made them broke. I couldn't be THIS much fucking stupid even if i tried hard.
Nobody is coming to save us. No one cares. Its all up to me now. All the pressure and stress and poverty is passed and inherited onto my life now. its up to me to either get rich or end my STUPID bloodline
I am living a very difficult life and no one seems to understand this...26 -
Excuse me, can you please tell me which ass-to-mouth fucking moron had this oh-so-damn-stupid idea to take something so un-fucking-believable nice and simple, swallow it entirely just to create that most-ugly stinking pile of darkest shit I've every seen in my live.
Bluetooth.
After paired, it actually never works at first try to connect from notebook or pc, windows or linux. It's just a big annoying pile of utter garbage. FUCK.2 -
Don't you just love customers?
It al began when they showed us the flyers they were printing for their new products, an some one at our company who doesn't work here anymore had the brilliant idea of copying it to their webshop, as a fucking gimmick... Ooohh man the customer didn't seem to understand it was only visually
They wanted the 3d layering effect to be dynamic, so each product would have its own with custom colours
So it was made
A few weeks later they didn't want the informational text, they wanted links to each product that the layer uses
Sounded like logical so it was made
Again some time later, they noticed that the layers were not textured, but just plain
I argued against it because it would add unnecessary loading time for some 300 by 400 px element but they insisted
So they got what they wanted
A few days later they said that the textures were of low quality, and that we had to create ones with higher quality
Again our management said, yes
We made ~ twice the size of the element in image pixels to create a higher definition image
Then the customer wanted that the layers should change based on some selection menu above it
(At this point we realized that it would no longer be just a fun little gimmick)
So we tried to refactor/rebuild it to remove most if not all the hacks we did just to make the customer happy, that took too long for them (the customer) so we had to revert back to the hacked together version because otherwise we would not be done on time (commanded by management)
But again, we ... I say 'we' as in the company but realistically I've been the only one who has worked on the fucking abomination
But I digress...
A few stupid requests later, some layer images are almost fully transparent PNG images that are almost 1mb in Filesize each (some products have 5 or even more layers) and the god damn thing now has to account for optional layers...
I AM FUCKING SPENT... I'VE JUST CAME BACK FROM VACATION BUT I ALREADY NEED IT AGAIN... FUCKING WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK JUST TO KEEP ONE CUSTOMER HAPPY WHILE OTHER PROJECTS BREATH ON MY NECK1 -
I left class early today
I understand me and this kid are both students and both of us are still learning. But when he asks me to help him solve an issue I fucking expect him to listen then try what I’m saying unless he knows for certain that my idea won’t work
I don’t expect him to start ignoring the person HE asked for help to try things on his own and end up DELETING THE FUCKING GRADLE FOLDER because the 1.5.1 version of Android studio my teacher makes us use told him gradle was corrupt
I also didn’t expect him to tell the professor I didn’t tell him not to And them end up with the professor fucking assigning me to help him fix everything even though the kid won’t listen to me anyway refusing to just copy he java and XML to a new project so I grabbed my stuff and left Fuck that bullshit
I understand we’re both students and in the grand scheme of things we’re both idiots. But when I’m asked for help I expect the person to at least listen and not do something absolutely stupid like delete something we don’t understand how to fix
Now I’m making common sense a requirement to ask me for help I don’t need any extra stress I’ll deal with the consequences of walking out tomorrow But I can’t say I regret it1 -
https://youtu.be/4L4nQyGLjio
FUCK THIS GUY AND WHOEVER ELSE THINKS AI HAVING THE ABILITY TO PROGRAM IS A GOOD IDEA OR SUPPORTS IT OR TRIES TO DO IT. ITS NOT AND NEVER GOING TO BE A GOOD IDEA! AI ISNT DANGEROUS UNLESS YOU DO THIS KIND OF STUPID SHIT, DO YOU WANT US TO DIE? DO YOU WANT TO REPLACE YOUR OWN JOB WITH SOME AI? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?43 -
OK...so not to long ago some guy I know from my old school contacted me regarding a start-up he was planing on doing...first he wanted me to work for free (which, in retrospect should've been the first warning sign) and then offered me shares of his non-existing company as payment. I didn't want that so I told him that I'll only work for real money. After some discussions he agreed (tho for less money than I demanded) and I started investing more time into the project (talking to him and his partner about what they expect, looking into some libraries and evaluating whether they can be used in the project or not...stuff like that). Some weeks later (some days before I would sign the contract) he calls me and tells me that he had found someone else to do it who would accept shares as payment...fuck that fucking self-righteous prick and his fucking start-up...the idea was stupid anyways...
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well... I decided to build my own network for my home lab and then I head out to go shopping.
I went for a router and I told this guy what I wanted
a good router that could allow me access the internet when I want over my phones hotspot or supports USB tethering.
guess what? this blessed guy sells me a router locked to optus. I saw the "yes optus" tag but I was so fucking stupid and clueless.
why? I was just too fucking stupid to trust a fellow Nigerian by telling him I have no idea of networking and how routers work.
the router ? netgear n300 dgn2200
did it have the features I wanted at least ? no
he refused to collect it back and I sold something very dear to me to be able to buy that crap. I thought I could solve all my networking issues at once.
fuck these people, bad government bad people.
I'm done crying over it though.
any ideas on how to go around this?
I've been looking and looking for the past two days, for a less destructive option.3 -
Imagine going on quora and answering somebodies carbon offsetting question by pushing your own stupid fucking agenda with propaganda answers like
"oh we need rainforest money!"
"oh we need grassland!"
"oh support the cows"
jesus fucking christ, THIS is why we have a problem with people not accepting climate change, becuase every fucking liberal wants to pile on one another and have their 'most important' cause behind it
give me a break you fucking idiots, it won't be solved by acting this way
sorry this is in no way software related, but it's the only place left i have to rant (however in some ways it is somehow software related, due to being able to think about the real world without being an absolute idiot and pushing some stupid peer pressured political idea because your social identity and friends are more important than actual facts, but whatever)12 -
Multi User, One Account, and other shit
I'm gonna rant about something as a user, and someone who makes stupid web stuff.
My bank has been updating their web banking over time and they decided that every individual on an account, should have their own login. They really want to push this on their users, I suspect specifically folks like me and my wife who share one login for the joint accounts we have at the bank together.
Why share one login, because it's the only sure fire way I know that I and my wife can see all the same shit no doubt about it.
The banks never tell you what you can see or can't with joint accounts, I doubt it is even documented on their end, but in every damn case something is hidden or different in some weird way.
Messages to the bank people? If I send it, my wife often can't. I get that for security reasons that's a thing, but it makes no sense for a joint account.
ANY difference to me breaks online banking ENTIRELY. Joint accounts are supposed to be... well one account that is the same.
Other banks we used where we had different logins for the joint account, each login actually had separate bill pay accounts per user. So if I went to bill pay and scheduled something to be paid, my wife had no idea, same if she did.
Right fucking there, banking is just broken entirely!
So no Mr. Bank, fuck you we're both logging in via the same login.
Fast forward to N00bPancakes making a thing.
So my employer has a customer (Direct Customer). Direct Customer wants a thing that makes communication with their customer (Indirect Customer) easier.
The worst thing about making something for your customer's customer is that Direct Customer always imagines that Indirect Customer is gonna be super ninja power users....
But no, that's not the case... in fact almost nobody is a power user, and absolutely nobody WANTS to be a power users.
Worse yet in my case the only reason this tool exists is because Direct Customer and Indirect Customer can't communicate well enough anyway... that should tell you something about the amount of effort Indirect Customer is willing to expend.
So with that tool, this situation constantly comes up:
Direct Customer thinks it would be great if every user from Indirect Company had some sort of custom messaging, views, and etc in of Cool Communication Tool. The reason is because that's what Direct Customer loves about Ultra Complex Primary Tool that they use ....
Then I have to fight the constant fight of:
NOBODY WANTS TO BE A POWER USER, NOBODY EVEN WANTS TO DO MUCH OF ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET THAT ISN'T SCREAMING AT OTHER PEOPLE OR POST MEMES OR WATCH SHITTY VIDEOS. THE MOMENT ANYONE AT INDIRECT COMPANY LOGS IN AND SEES ANY INFO THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM THEIR COWORKER THEY'LL SHIT THEMSELVES, FLOOD EVERYONE WITH 'OH GAWD SOME NON SPECIFIED THING IS WRONG' AND RESPOND TO EMAILS LIKE A JELLYFISH DROPPED OFF IN NEW MEXICO... AND NOTHING WILL GET DONE!!!
God damn it people.
Also side rant while I'm busy fighting the good fight to keep shit simple and etc:
People bitch about how horrible the modern web is and then bitch at web devs like we're rulers of the internet or something.... What really pisses me off about that is other devs who do that.... like bro, do you make policy at your company? You decide not to sell some info or whatever shit your company sells? Like fuck off with your 'man I miss html' because you got scared by some shitty JS error and ran back to your language of choice and just poked your head out of the the basement and got scared... and you shit on another developer about that? Fuck you.1 -
I have a problem to solve but I just can't come up with any working algorithm or idea to solve it. I feel really fucking stupid right now
-
Got one right now, no idea if it’s the “most” unrealistic, because I’ve been doing this for a while now.
Until recently, I was rewriting a very old, very brittle legacy codebase - we’re talking garbage code from two generations of complete dumbfucks, and hands down the most awful codebase I’ve ever seen. The code itself is quite difficult to describe without seeing it for yourself, but it was written over a period of about a decade by a certifiably insane person, and then maintained and arguably made much worse by a try-hard moron whose only success was making things exponentially harder for his successor to comprehend and maintain. No documentation whatsoever either. One small example of just how fucking stupid these guys were - every function is wrapped in a try catch with an empty catch, variables are declared and redeclared ten times, but never used. Hard coded credentials, hard coded widths and sizes, weird shit like the entire application 500ing if you move a button to another part of the page, or change its width by a pixel, unsanitized inputs, you name it, if it’s a textbook fuck up, it’s in there, and then some.
Because the code is so damn old as well (MySQL 8.0, C#4, and ASP.NET 3), and utterly eschews the vaguest tenets of structured, organized programming - I decided after a month of a disproportionate effort:success ratio, to just extract the SQL queries, sanitize them, and create a new back end and front end that would jointly get things where they need to be, and most importantly, make the application secure, stable, and maintainable. I’m the only developer, but one of the senior employees wrote most of the SQL queries, so I asked for his help in extracting them, to save time. He basically refused, and then told me to make my peace with God if I missed that deadline. Very helpful.
I was making really good time on it too, nearly complete after 60 days of working on it, along with supporting and maintaining the dumpster fire that is the legacy application. Suddenly my phone rings, and I’m told that management wants me to implement a payment processing feature on the site, and because I’ve been so effective at fixing problems thus far, they want to see it inside of a week. I am surprised, because I’ve been regularly communicating my progress and immediate focus to management, so I explain that I might be able to ship the feature by end of Q1, because rather than shoehorn the processor onto the decrepit piece of shit legacy app, it would be far better to just include it in the replacement. I add that PCI compliance is another matter that we must account for, and so there’s not a great chance of shipping this in a week. They tell me that I have a month to do it…and then the Marketing person asks to see my progress and ends up bitching about everything, despite the front end being a pixel perfect reproduction. Despite my making everything mobile responsive, iframe free, secure and encrypted, fast, and void of unpredictable behaviors. I tell her that this is what I was asked to do, and that there should have been no surprises at all, especially since I’ve been sending out weekly updates via email. I guess it needed more suck? But either way, fuck me and my two months of hard work. I mean really, no ego, I made a true enterprise grade app for them.
Short version, I stopped working on the rebuild, and I’m nearly done writing the payment processor as a microservice that I’ll just embed as an iframe, since the legacy build is full of those anyway, and I’m being asked to make bricks without straw. I’m probably glossing over a lot of finer points here too, just because it’s been such an epic of disappointment. The deadline is coming up, and I’m definitely going to make it, now that I have accordingly reduced the scope of work, but this whole thing has just totally pissed me off, and left a bad taste about the organization.10 -
!!!rant
Most exited I've been about some code? Probably for some random "build a twitter clone with Rails" tutorial I found online.
I've been working on my CS degree for a while (theoretical CS) but I really wanted to mess with something a bit more practical. I had almost none web dev experience, since I've been programming mostly OS-related stuff till then (C). I started looking around, trying to find a stack that's easy to learn since my time was limited- I still had to finish with my degree.
I played around with many languages and frameworks for a week or two. Decided to go with Ruby/Rails and built a small twitter clone blindly following a tutorial I found online and WAS I FUCKING EXITED for my small but handmade twitter clone had come to life. Coming from a C background, Ruby was weird and felt like a toy language but I fell in love.
My excitement didn't fade. I bought some books, studied hard for about a month, learned Ruby, Rails, JavaScript, SQL (w/ pg) and some HTML/CSS. Only playing with todo apps wasn't fun. I had a project idea I believed might be somewhat successful so I started working on it.
The next few months were spent studying and working on my project. It was hard. I had no experience on any web dev technology so I had learn so many new things all at once. Picked up React, ditched it and rewrote the front end with Vue. Read about TDD, worked with PostgreSQL, Redis and a dozen third party APIs, bought a vps and deployed everything from scratch. Played it with node and some machine learning with python.
Long story short, one year and about 30 books later, my project is up and running, has about 4k active monthly users, is making a profit and is steadily growing. If everything goes well, next week I'll close a deal with a pretty big client and I CANT BE FKING HAPPIER AND MORE EXCITED :D Towards the end of the month I'll also be interviewed for a web dev position.
That stupid twitter clone tutorial made me excited enough to start messing with web technologies. Thank you stupid twitter clone tutorial, a part of my heart will be yours forever.2 -
At 12:38 AM, I am working in the office alone on a project that I hate with my guts.
Since last month I am feeling nothing. In the morning I don't want to get up and go to the office. I do not feel any excitement in my job. Even I hate talking to people, I still have to join 4 meetings and talk to them.
As the Project Manager, I hate taking responsibility for other people's code.
Writing emails to stupid business people and talking to them at the meeting, I hate those people.
I have worked for almost 16 hours per day for 2 months to finish this project. Even worked on Sunday. The project is not finished. The scope and requirement get changed daily. The client has no fucking idea of what they want.
I have no fucking idea what I want to in my life. I just want to go home and get a good fucking sleep.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have better time in your life than me.
And please tell them this will get better. I need to hear it.5 -
Help. I work with a guy who really wants to learn programming (he’s sales/support rn) and is even taking some courses on it. He seems eager enough to learn, the problem is he is just so fucking stupid I don’t know whether to encourage him or level with him.
He somehow managed to pass a course on Java (which I still don’t believe since I had to help him put his lines of code in the right order ffs), but now he’s signed up for C++ and data structures and I honestly don’t know how he’s going to do it.
This is the type of guy who loves “coding” but thinks debugging is a waste of time.
Normally I encourage anyone who wants to learn programming do so, but let’s be honest it does take a modicum of intelligence and this guy has zero common sense at all. We’re talking about a guy who sent me a *screenshot* of an Excel file that I needed to copy some activation codes from. And then had absolutely no idea what was wrong when I replied “are you fucking with me right now?”
*sigh*
And that’s not even scratching the surface. I sent him a zip file containing some updated code and walked him through how to update them on Slack (really basic, copy/replace files stuff). Then the VERY next day when I sent him a second update he asks “is there something you want me to do with this?”
The instructions were literally the last thing we talked about in the chat log.
I actually fear the stuff this guy would unleash upon the world if someone were actually able to teach him how to write a whole program.
What should I do? Right now my plan is to be vaguely supportive but secretly hope he will realize he’s in over his head and drop out before any damage is done. But my worry is he may just be SO dumb that he actually thinks he can do it. At that point I guess I just have to put my faith in his school and pray that they aren’t just giving degrees away to whoever can afford them. Because fear the day this guy ever gets a degree in programming.9 -
Fucking windows.... Let's go back about 20 days earlier first day in February I had the genius idea of updating my windows and it did actually update except 2 of them failed..... But I was like alright then don't matter and disabled updates for Windows....... Next day I found a program called windows 10 update assistant installed and running a background download....... I was bothered by this but it's no big deal but what's FUCKING stupid is that it fails after a while downloading (I have 1.6 Mb/s download speed but it's limited to 200 GB a month which mostly stays) when it fails it doesn't stop instead when I restart my computer it starts the same program and keeps downloading in the background and then failing for 15 days.
I've tried disabling the updates but it just ignores that and enables them, also tried uninstalling the program windows 10 update assistant but it reinstalls itself!
The problem is that the only thing the website mentioned is that some versions are not supported by security updates, but they don't mention what I could do when it keeps failing.2 -
With all the stupid fucking animated shit on websites: videos that popup, advertisements that flash (really?), things that popup if you move your mouse, headers that move weirdly relative to your scrolling, and more... Its like the 90s all over again with animated gifs, popups and other garbage. Is there some stupid web designer course saying animating shit is a good idea? The videos that move around are the worst. They totally fuck with my peripheral vision and make me want to rage quit the site.14
-
Background:
I graduated high school from a technical school. And my teacher asked me to come in a few times a week and assist (which I LOVE doing)
So they’re working with circuits and raspberry pi’s and when I can in they pointed out that there was a project they couldn’t get to work. So I had to look at it. Now I was not given the original it was one a student tried to copy in (like they were supposed to) but it was awful. All the indentation was even more off than the original and on top of that. The original and what I was given wouldn’t give an error code.. and so I had no idea what was happening so I just decided to try to fix the indentation and take out stuff that didn’t look right (what else was I supposed to do when I didn’t know where to start?) and while I was doing it another student started to try to fix it and it legit barely took 5 minutes and now my spirit and confidence is broken. I wasn’t petty I observed the result and congratulated him cause he deserved it. After I took the code and put it on my laptop and figured out it was an “inconsistent use of tabs and spaces” error which is fucking stupid and I’ve never seen that in python before so after I debugged that there wasn’t really anything left to debug. So I guess I somewhat redeemed myself but I still feel like shit2 -
Just tried to read this the frequently asked questions about article 13.
I don't think you need to read it, since you learn nothing from it besides that these people don't even care anymore. Everything is written in a "wishful" mode, even their goals.
You can just go to the next trash can, take an item and compare it with that. Unfortunately, you will have to realize that the item you just picked up was more useful to society than everything you'll read in these "answers".
https://ec.europa.eu/digital-single...
They basically dodge every single question vague to the point that someone as the amount of drugs these people take in order to think they are making realistic proposes.
"We aim to blah blah", "Our aim is blah blah", "We want to blah blah". Might as well sue me for copying their content in that paragraph.
If anybody ever tells you that you have unrealistic, stupid goals or dreams just remember: there's a whole continent lead by people who have no fucking idea what they are doing and still think they are doing a good job. And because they have no idea what they are doing they just offload all the work to companies.
Plattform: Ok, what do we have to do?
EU: lol, just "put in place, in collaboration with right holders, adequate and proportionate technical measures." (#2 P4)
Plattform: can you be a bit more specific?
EU: Look, this proposal just "requires platforms which store and provide access to large amounts of copyright-protected content uploaded by their users to put in place effective and proportionate measures." It's not that hard to understand, you dummy (#3 P3)
Plattform: So we need to monitor all user-generated content?
Eu: are you stupid or something? You "would not have to actively monitor all the content uploaded by users", just the copyrighted content. (#4 P1)
The rest is more or less the same, just them imagining the outcome, without taking turning on their decomposed brains in order to apply common sense.
Jumping off this "union" seems be pretty lucrative 🤔1 -
Been reading about this mess called C# 8.... WHY THE FUCKING HELL DO YOU THINK ALLOWING FUCKING INTERFACES TO HAVE DEFAULT METHOD IMPLEMENTATIONS IS A FUCKING GOOD IDEA?
Just Can't wrap my head around this stupid idea... Help me out here fellas...5 -
Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).
-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.
-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.
-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.
-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it
There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future. -
Our company has a giant folder that you have to download every release. It contains all of the dependencies within the company and every config file.
Twice a month your workspace gets fucked...BECAUSE THESE FUCKING GENIUSES CANNOT USE FUCKING MAVEN! What the fuck?! What idiot came up with this stupid idea?1 -
Why do some people feel the need to prove their stupidity and utter lack of skill in the face of the world?!?!
Yesterday I learned that a sister company is hiring an intern civil engineer to code some application plugins connected to our IS ?!?!? How the fuck do you think he can only understand what the fuck we do?
To put it in context, I'm kind of the CDO of a French medium group (a little cluster of companies), as the group is in the construction industry I'm the CTO for all Computer things. Inside the group, I'm the CTO of the digital factory. So the group IS is a microservice decentralized API REST-based architecture.
Next Monday we'll have a meeting, so I can explain to them why it's a FUCKING STUPID IDEA!!!! The only good thing is that any application programming done outside of the Digital Factory will be handled as an External Company Application, so it's not my problem to secure it, debug it, or simply make it work. And they already know that I'll enforce this ruling!!!
But WHY the fuck do they still think any mother fucker can professionally program!!!!!! Every time I have to deal with them It's horrendous!!!! I had to prove them why using a not encrypted external drive for a high security mission It's stupid!!!, and why having the same password for every account is FUCKING STUPID!!!
The most ridiculous part is they have a guy who really believe he has some IT skills!! Saying things like "SVN" it's a today tool (WTF), firewall are useless, etc....
WHY!!!! WHY!!!!2 -
Not a rant but sort of a rant.
Getting REAL fucking tired of the corporate rat race.
Thought Bubble ...
{If I quit this stupid job I could do freelance sites}
Then I realized that I have no idea what skill set it takes to be a freelance developer. I only know my one little corner. Once I commit my code it goes off down the assembly line for others to worry about testing, deployment, hosting, security and other things I have no idea about.
So tell me freelancers, is the grass greener? What additonal skills do you have to have the us enterprise folks would have no idea about?
Or are you making huge bucks where you overcharge for Wix sites that do not suck?9 -
!rant
So I have bought a new laptop and this time instead of straight up booting linux I had an idea of giving micro$oft a try, so I have decided to use only their services for 2 weeks.
To be honest, I really did not expect windows to use do much cpu and hdd during updates and background tasks, but after a day it was ok and windows feels snappier than during my last encounrer (maybe cause the new hw?).
I was even so dedicated that I started to use cortana and I have to tell, that she is dumb as fuck, since she fails to understand even the basic tasks and if u want something advanced, she refers to the next update. But boy, tell her to open Visual Studio and she asks if you want VS Code or Visual Studio, which seems great. But my response was 'Code' then she insisted that I said Coke. Im like OK, Im not native english speaker, lets try Visual Studio Code, where she told me that there is no such thing and Spelling VS - Code ended me in bing search for Unesco :/
I really want to like Cortana, she has nice name, nice history, but she is like that A girl from class, who looks gorgeous, has great voice, but then u reallise that she just eats a book before exam and after that she is that dumb basic hoe.
I also gave a shot to Bing and Edge. Bing is something between Google and DuckDuckGo, since it gives you a liiitle less results from search history, yet if you want to find something in different language its even possible to tell you that what are you trying to find does not exist.
But I have to tell, that I like Edge and I mean it. Like... Its fast and has some good features, like pushing all your open tavs away, so you can open them Later. It also does not have that stupid ass feature that lets you control tab from left to right, not by chronological order, so you wont end up in infinity loop of 2 tabs. And even if people make fun of M$ trying to convince you to use Edge by being too aggresive. God go on edge and try to use some Google Service(You still dont use chrome?!).
I also tried to play with .Net core and I have to tell that against java they are a bit further. I liked some small features, but what I just simply loved was rhe fucking documentation. You basically dont need google, sincw they give you examples and explain in a human way.
What I didnt quite get was the 'big' Visual Studio. Tje dark theme to me feels strange(personal and irrelevant). Why the hell I do need to press 2 shortcuts to duplicate line?! Why is it so hard to find a plugin to give me back my coloured brackets and why the fuck it takes like a second to Cut one line of code on a damn i7?!
Visual studio Code was something different. It shows how dark theme should be done, the plugin market is full of stuff and the damn shortcuts are not made for octopi. So I have to recommend it ^^.
I even gave a shot to word and office as a whole and fuck I never knew that there are so many templates. It really made my life easier, since all you need to do is find the right one in the app, instead of browsing templates online, where half of them are for another version of your text editor.
Android Launcher was fast, had a clever widget of notes and the sync was pretty handy to be honest so I liked that one as well.
What made me furious was using the CLI. Godfucking damn what the fuck is ipconfig?! :/
Last thing what made me superbhappy was using stuff without wine and all of the addional shit. Especially using stuff like Afinity Designer and having good looking apps in general. I mean Open source has great tools l sometimes with better functionality. But I found out, that what is pleasure to look at, is pleasure to work with.
To Summarize a bit.
It wasnt that bad as I expected. I see where they are heading with building yet another ecosystem of It just works and that they are aiming at professionals once again.
So I would rate it 6/10, would be 7 if that shit was Posix compatible.
I know that for Balmer is a special place in hell... But with that new CEO, Microsoft at the end may make it to purgatory..5 -
Maybe it is too late for wk199 but i have interesting things that have happened recently.
1.After 3 days of panic buying shops still have stuff in them thanks to the logistic chain
2.I can finally focus on my project at home, i cant fucking belive that covid_19 did more for my education than my fucking university for past 3 years.
3.My dormitory has been captured by the military in order to be converted for quarrantine space. Noble idea IF I WAS FUCKING INFORMED BY IT BEFORE. Ok they had called me and explained thag stuff will be collected and put in separate bags so nothing will be lost... BUT THEY SAY THAT THEY MIGHT THROW AWAY FOOD
(my fridge is empty but i made a small stockpile of things like cereal or insta soups) If they will get thrown out i will GET FUCKING PISSED. Aparently that info was written in the newspaper but Im IN A OTHER CITY AND UNI ADMINISTRATION DIDNT EVEN BOTHER TO WRITE AN EMAIL.
I hope my bed sheets are going to be collected too i dont want other fuckers to be using my shit. Not only i have to share room and bathroom i realy dont want to share items.
So i hope they will do that fucking propely.
1.Collect ALL OF THE THINGS
2.Dont throw anything out
3.Segregate them from my roommates shit so it wont get mixed.
I know we should do something about that pandemic but that is just borderline stupid. YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT NORMALY AND JUST WASH HANDS, NOT BRING MARSHALL LAW AGAIN POLAND!2 -
OH MY FUCKING GOD. I HATE
H A T E
ACQUIA SITE STUDIO.
"Let's make a low-code 'solution' for developers who barely can stand working on Drupal as it is, and make the completely easy and perfect process of styling a website, COMPLETELY UNBEARABLE!"
Yea this is a great idea, experienced developers can now spend hours trying to fucking find where a single style is coming from. Oh it was too easy to cmd+f a stylesheet or a codebase to find something particular? Yea FUCK THAT. Lets turn EVERY SINGLE STYLE into a unsearchable .yml file where every style definition is now a machine hash. WAY easier to use. Isn't it so cool to fucking click on styles from a dropdown where they come off the edge of the screen. FUCK whichever stupid fuck came up with this dog shit nonsense. I fucking HATE this soul crushing work.2 -
Hey just brainstorming a business/ startup idea I may try out sometime down the line. I wanted to put it in writing available to my peers for review. If that sounds boring, sorry.
So I've had an idea and I know it's a million dollar idea because it's absolutely boring as fuck.
Recently I have been learning about NoSQL and it has gotten me pretty excited about unstructured data.
Now the first thing you should know about me is I like to make business software. I don't like games or social networks or blah blah blah, I like business stuff. One dream I have always had is to make THE business solution. I've noticed so many specific business solutions for very specific areas of work. Specific software for car washes, which is separate from the software for car maintenance, which is separate from the point-of-sales software, which is separate from the [...]
One of the problems with this is the inconsistency. Modular is good, but only if the modules are compatible. They aren't. Training needs to be provided for each individual system since they are all vastly different. And worst of all, since all of these different applications reach their own niche market, they charge out the butt for things that are usually very simple "POST a form over http(s)" machines.
I mean let's not get too dreamy here. My solution is an over-complicated form-builder. But it would be a game-changer for small and medium-sized businesses. Allowing users to build their own front-end and back-end disguised as a drag-and-drop form builder would be THE alternative, because they could bring all of their solutions into a single solution (one bill!) and since THEY are the ones that build what they need, they can have custom business software for the price of a spreadsheet program.
The price difference we could offer would be IMMENSE. Not only would we be able to offer "cookie-cutter" pricing as opposed to "custom" pricing, but since this generic solution could be used for essentially all of their systems, we aren't just decreasing one bill. We're decreasing one bill, and eliminating the rest entirely. We could devastate competition.
"BUT ALGO", you scream in despair, "USERS AREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO DRAG AND DROP FORM PARTS TO MAKE A FORM"
I mean ya true. But you say that like it's a bad thing. For one, we can just offer a huge library of templates. And for another, which is part of the business plan, we can charge people support dollars to help them drag and drop their stupid fucking forms!! Think of the MONEEYYYY YOU COULD MAKEE BY EXPLAINING HOW TO COLLECT FIRST AND LAST NAMEEE. Fuck.
The controls library would be extensible of course. You would be able to download different, more specialized controls if you need them. But the goal would be to satsify those needs with the standard collection of controls (Including interesting ones line barcode scanner and signature input and all that). But if all else fails, maybe someone made an open source control for you to implement and ignore that stupid donation button. We all do.
This could PURGE the world of overpriced and junky specialized business software, and best of all, it's aimed at smaller businesses. With smaller businesses making more profit, they will stay afloat better and may start to compete with their larger foes. Greater for the entire economy.
Anyways, I'm sure it's full of holes. Everything always is. But I still think it's something I'll try before I die.24 -
Sometimes I really feel humiliated in my lab.
We have several presentation/discussion groups in my lab that meet once a week or so where members present their progress reports. Generally people in my lab are not so enthusiastic about them. Which is okay, I also don't like doing presentations, but you know, you have to improve somehow and get feedback somehow.
So I've been in a really passive group for a while and I decide to join this other group since they seem to have good discussions, but nope fuck me.
The first time I present, the professor doesn't show up since he has some meeting, so obviously nobody cares to show up. And I'm there presenting for a guy who is half comatose. Alright, I guess that's the price for joining a new team, it's gonna get better next time.
Second time. Spent all night to prepare my presentation and been training my model for two weeks. I am actually really happy with the results of my networks. But the enjoyment of showing some good results, I shall not have.
Meeting leader doesn't show up. Two guys who should present don't show up. Professor doesn't show up. A different professor substitutes him and has no idea what I am talking about and asks stupid questions that don't really have an answer. Fuck me, I'm so angry, this shit is a waste of time. If you don't show up, care to fucking send an email or a message on slack, but guess you're too fucking retarded to even do that.
I'm so done with this. I've gotten better feedback from reddit, than what I've cumulatively gotten from my laboratory. I'm a moment away from walking up to the meeting leader and telling him that the meetings are stupid and a waste of time. Don't get me wrong, my professor is really nice and knowledgeable, but he fails to see that some people in the laboratory are shit.
What do I do? How do I deal with these people? Right now they're planning a trip! Why are you planning a trip? WHAT ARE YOU REWARDING YOURSELVES FOR? YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING IN WEEKS? omfg3 -
I’m from the UK, should I go freelance?
Last few weeks I’ve been feeling really bored with my job. Like mega fucking bored. It’s basically just meetings 7 hours a day, 4 hours planning and then 3 hours of talking about how everything didn’t get finish (I know. I keep saying it’s the fucking 7 hour fucking meetings).
Pay is pretty decent, we have a few juniors, not exactly great code base, kinda cool idea, pretty unique, business will defo work or be sold by corporate owners. (Start up owned by corporate)
I just feel really flat and bored. Mega bored. Keep wondering about going solo and being more of a consultancy or my own little agency? I’ve tried before but I suck at marketing and freelancer and similar sites never provided enough income.
I guess my questions are (if anyone wants to answer):
- What’s this new IR35 or whatever? Is it now pointless to be self employed?
- how would I boost my leads?
- should I do a bit of contracting to get used to it maybe?
- should I just stay where I am and deal with the feeling of not really feeling like I was hired to do anything?
I do also have a little side business I started that I could also work on whenever I have free time, it’s not taking any money at the moment though, early years I suppose?
I’m really sorry if anyone feels offended to read that I’m fucking bored and don’t have a clue what to do with myself. Please don’t reply with some sarccy comment. I really cba to have an internet keyboard troll fight about some stupid opinion we’ll all forget about in a few days. This now counts as a rant. So fuck you. It’s a rant. And I’m rant about the possibility you might comment on my post not bring a rant coz I can’t tell what category I’m posting on. I live in the 5th dimension. Deal. With. It. Or just ignore and scroll on 👍🏼5 -
First job while in college... Was working for web dev team lamp set up before lamp was lamp (year was 2000).
Had deadline one week after summer vacation. Worked non stop a couple of days to get shit done and didn't make it. Got in a conflict with my manager in front of the team and I blew my steam off. Quit on the spot.
Lessons learned:
1. Don't be a fucking idiot when estimating work.
2. Be cool with other teammates, nobody cares about drama and nobody has to feel sorry for you.
3. Uhm, plan? Had entire fucking vacation to get work done. I was a fucking moron.
4. Burning out is stupid and unproductive.
5. Your manager can be as poor in management as you are. Your job is to try to make them better at it, as they have less visibility in the details.
Next job in grad school. Worked for a security company. Direct manager had the bright idea to make execs sign the change requests. WTF. Code was in Perl/php, a mess. Team rewrote back end DB access , taking over six months, or more, failing twice the deadline. After a final 48 hour burn out, we ship and get laid off the week after.
Lessons learned:
1. Don't work for dicks.
2. Don't be a dick yourself.
3. Don't work for dicks.
Third job was in silicon valley. It was a great company, and I stayed there for five years. -
So the time has come for me to officially say "Fuck IE".
The potential client, one of the major hospital chain in the country, wants the site to work in Internet Explorer. Can't believe they are still clinging on stupid IE because Google Chrome is insecure 😂
There is no way all the charts and graphs we made would work in IE.
To top it off, the "bluffon" boss came up with idea of using flash to display this features on IE.
It's fucking 2017!!8 -
Fuck you javascript. You're the worst. Fuck you fuck you. Why I became a fucking frontend developer. Fuck me and my stupid idea to get hired as a...
Oh nvm found the bug. JS is za best.1 -
I'm following this fucking tutorial (https://blog.ssdnodes.com/blog/...) and everything goes well, I have docker running, docker compose installed properly, but when I start trying to create the docker-compose.yml and accessing the stupid site using the virtual host domain i set I can't it keep getting "503 Service Temporarily Unavailable" or "502 Bad gateway" what the hell am i doing wrong, I just want to get this working in my VM so i can move it to my damn server and have my own fucking cloud. This damn bullshit is exactly why i went into programming rather than dealing with configuring servers and bullshit like this i know it's outside my level of understanding but I really fucking want my own cloud system but I want it containerized for both isolation and learning purposes.
I have no idea what the hell i'm doing wrong and all the damn articles and links i'm reading aren't helping at all with my level of stupid not allowing me to understand what i'm doing wrong1 -
1)not thinking too much.
Seriously, my mind is way too stupid to sit idle and relax. In my mind, Somewhere there is a thought about an incomplete project, somewhere there is a startup idea, somewhere there is a fear of an incomplete assignment, while somewhere there is a sad song playing.. and out of nowhere, there comes my beautiful crush and me kissing, and woah, am now doing bhangra and round and rounds of shotz with her, whoops whoops whoops go back, bro , go fucking back to your work :|
(After 5 minutes...)
"whats going on devrant now?, whats goin on insta now, has she repied on whatsapp? what she eating? hey!, i could make an app for....
And this cycle goes on.... -
!dev philosophical
Quality vs Opinion
I have a feeling that these things have always been at odds with each other and now with the constant connectedness it has just become more apparent that most people don’t understand the difference (or even realize there is a difference for that matter)
Let’s face it. Most people have awful taste. They listen to whatever new music their radio station decides was hot. They watch whatever show everyone else is watching. They are manipulated by large scale news organizations...
Basically, most people are sheep.
The problem is that sheep are a dangerous combination of loud and stupid. Giving these loud stupid sheep a platform to amplify their voice is a bad idea for a society, but a great tool for the pigs to manipulate them.
“Frightened though they were, some of the animals might possibly have protested, but at this moment the sheep set up their usual bleating of "Four legs good, two legs bad," which went on for several minutes and put an end to the discussion.”
This isn’t confined to one political party or view, it isn’t geographic, it isn’t based on education, it isn’t based on wether a person is ethical or not...
It’s universal.
You can translate “four legs good, two legs bad” into Agent Orange and his followers chanting “lock her up” just as well as it could be translated into the angry leaders of the modern feminist movement.
In both cases (both on opposite ends of the ethical spectrum) you have the loudest dumb, angry sheep getting the even dumber sheep to chant along, wether it is good for them or not.
Now to loop this back. The problem is that dumb sheep are emotional. They truly believe that they are NOT dumb and that their opinions and emotions are a measure of quality.
I FEEL bad, and you are talking to me, so you must BE bad.
I don’t LIKE this amazingly well made movie, so it must BE bad.
And anyone else who has a different opinion is just wrong. Anyone who try’s to explain the merits of the other side is either my enemy or is stupid.
^^^
Their opinion, incorrect.
————
Now for the tough part...
Most likely, based on probability, you are a sheep.
Yes, you! The smartest person you know. The guy/girl who has a degree or masters of a PHD. The person who builds amazing software. You! Are. A. Sheep. And you are dangerous to the world.
To put a cherry on top.
No, you opinions are not important. Your feelings are fucking meaningless. Your morals are worthless. Your voice has as much value and a loose asshole fart from a fat guy trapped in a deep well in Siberia.
But don’t get down about this. It’s doesn’t make you any less of a person. Remember that almost every person who has ever lived in history has been a sheep. They have chanted one useless, dangerous, misguided, harmful chant after another through the ages.
————
To those of you who try not to be sheep. Just keep trying to get a little better every day. When someone says...
“We do it this way because we have always done it this way”
... be skeptics. Explore the merits and logic of the situation.
And if you are tired of being led by stupid sheep then save some money, build something cool and start your own business.
Just remember, you will always need the sheep. They will be your employees, your friends, your bosses, your investors etc.
Treat them well, don’t hate them, and if you ever find yourself leading a pack of sheep then try to keep a healthy distance from their chanting while leading them down the right path.
They will thank you for it in the end.
———
PS. For those of you thinking “this is very judgemental and self centred”
All I can do is to try to speak your language....
Baaaahhhhh, baaahhhhh, bahhhhh
Which translates form sheep to human as...
“Eat a dick. Have a nice day” -
Tl;dr:
My stupid ass needs a break, also a good english lesson, sry for grammar errors.
# rant.start()
You may want to ask how it is to be kind of stressed. I'll tell ya.
I'm half way through my semester and all of my profs had the same idea: projects. Huge ass projects for everyone with the smallest possible time to finish them. Also i'm moving in a new flat in a few weeks. Shove your projects up your fucking bleached arsehole and put a huge cork right beneath it.
I started to wonder why my stupid tkinter application started freezing after implemeting a thread for a small tcp module.
Confusion.
Frustration.
Hate.
Chaos.
Crying for help.
Zergrush on SO.
Realizing i used thread.run() instead of thread.start() .
Fml, i need a summer break. -
!dev
There are no right answers in parenting, but there are sure as hell wrong ones and if the fucking backfire effect is too much to keep you from realizing that half of your stupid fucking decisions are delusional at best then you should probably start rethinking some things. I fucking hate dealing with other people fucking up and being stupid and I know I'm going to have to keep dealing with it in one form or another but god why I'm so done with this I just fucking don't want to deal with anyone anymore I don't want to deal with myself anymore
I dunno I don't have anyone to rant to so I can't like be specific here because it's public af but you know typing this makes me feel a little better but I still just don't want to deal with this shit anymore I don't even know what I do want to do there's like nothing the positive feedback is going away and I don't know what to fucking do with myself and I don't know how to change anything I can't fucking fix anything I mean I can fix my shitty code but I'm never getting anywhere with that and whenever I want to fix anything that's actually important I just fuck up regardless of how hard I try I just don't want to fucking try anymore I don't know if I'll actually hit post but I have to put this somewhere so probably but ugh I don't even fucking ugh literally all of my problems are so fucking dumb and small and elementary but I CAN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING I keep ranting about these fucked up people I have to deal with and yeah they fucking suck and sometimes I wish they didn't exist but I know I'm just as if not more of an idiot and everyone would probably be better off if I didn't exist but wait no that would have happened but you guys don't get to know about that because it's specific and putting that here would fuck shit up but someone else could so that so much better and I don't know everyone who interacts with me is just hurting themselves like fuck why do some friends like blades better than me maybe because I'm even less caring and even more damaging than a stupid fucking inanimate sharp piece of metal god fucking ugh okay I can't focus on anything why is this even okay side rant why are atheists so fucking hated like yes maybe some can't understand their motives for like doing things but nobody can really understand each other's like religious people all use god or gods in their own way why do you have to think of people who have zero gods as opposed to your nonzero as less human than you there's so much wrong with that okay that side rant is over but this whole thing is a side rant so cool fuck my life lol uuh I don't know I don't want to stop typing I don't know why though I guess I just actually I have no fucking idea I'm just here doing this I should be like fucking asleep I'm passing the fuck out after this ugh okay okay okay okay okay okay okay umm I really want to quote a certain person that I really hate right now and dissect them and prove every single fucking stupid argument they make wrong but I feel like that would not be good since this is so public but I swear I hate this and you know what if you're thinking that yes I AM A FUCKING WHINY BITCH DEAL WITH IT I'M WHINING YOU DENSE FUCKER YOU DON'T HAVE TO POINT IT OUT AND FEEL SMUG IT'S BETTER TO VENT HERE THAN A LOT OF OTHER WAYS SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP OKAY ACTUALLY FUCK IT CALL ME OUT ON IT I NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE THIS OUT ON GOD AAAAAAH okay uuh yeah that's fun I'm a fuck up okay okay so you ask "how can you be a fuck up you're so young her der" okay being young generally is a disadvantage because you haven't had opportunity but boy have I and I sure fucked every single one of those up so yeah fun stuff you know woo haha mmkay I wish I had friends online this late because then I could like rant to a person and shit I mean this community is people but not people I know and it's not really back and forth as much and ugh okay right uuh yeah good um ugh I used to be able to get this shit out by doing something I'm good at but now I'm shit at everything and I can't motivate myself and it's all just bottled up and there's so much shit and nothing works and fuck there's probably a simple solution to everything I'm facing but I'm such a dense piece of shit that I can't find any of those stupid fucking ugh okay now I'm looking at my stupid hands typing ugh I hate the things right back up here uuh uuh I have 500 charas left lets fucking go I don't want to stop I mean I do want to stop but like by that I mean I just want to not exist I do want to keep typing here because it's the only thing distracting me but yeah uuh right um some people were like wtf happened with your stalking thing and this isn't where I should put it but fuck it whatever some weird guy just logged on for 10 mins to take a screenshot of the time being 2:22:22 and logged off and boom the school year ended uuh yeah kay right fuck I have to end it now
Aaaah okay uuh right bye I'm really sorry if you actually read that whole thing4 -
Calling something "idempotent" is fucking stupid. Why do you have to overcomplicate an already complicated shit such as terraform?
Why not call it unchangeable? Something that can be understood by a 2 year old. What even is the "immutable" word for if not even that is being used??? Why have 2+ words that define the same shit. Are u fking stupid who the fuck coined this phrase Idempotent and thought it was a good idea
When i read idempotent i have to remember and translate in my mind that it actually means "not changeable". On contrary theres "Non-Idempotent" so this fucks up the complexity even more cause Now i have to translate it as "non-not changeable -> which means it is everything But not changeable -> so if it is NOT not changeable -> it means it IS changeable" Fffuck offf13 -
(imagine all of this said in Undoomed's "hey moron" tone)
Hey, moron, fuckin moron! How about if you're a noob with no actual programmer on your side, you just tell me so we can work it out together, instead of sending a moronic 4page "acceptance criteria" that pretend you know what you're talking about, and then bury me under loads of moronic noob questions that reveal you as thenmoron you are, all of that for a fuckin 50 quid?! I thought it's me being an idiot, not being able to do the task within two days timeframe, but now I see you're just too much of a moron to have any idea how much these things take. And now you nonchalantly mention a one-line one point from the four page document full of drivel, which (loads of moronism credit for me here) i didn't notice amongst all of that other mundane drivel, which actually like doubles the whole workload on the task, but your moronic document, which makes 3 parts of the same algorithm into three separate MILESTONES, makes this whole thing that nearly DOUBLES the workload into a shitty SEVENTH SUBPOINT of the completely unrelated first "milestone"?
FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ROBBERY CHEAPFUCK, and fuck me for letting myself be tricked by all your fancy wordings that pretend you actually know what the fuck you are asking for, so i assumed you did, so I missed THE POINT, WHICH ACCORDING TO THE SEGMENTATION LOGIC OF THE WHOLE REST OF THE DOCUMENT SHOULD BE 3 SEPARATE FULL-SIZED MILESTONES, NOT A SINGLE SUBPOINT, YOU FUCKING FUCK!
... so much for still trying to at least a bit trust people.
FUCKING DISGUSTING MORONIC CHEAPSKATE FUCK.
and I can't even tell him to fuck off through the rectum he came here because he's all nice and polite so I would be the asshole!
"hey, please, can you build me a house?"
*house is basically finished*
"oh, great job, i love it, but i think you might have missed the fineprint in our contract that says that the house is supposed to stand inside an entry hall of a multibillionaire-sized mansion, so could we please sort that out and add it to the building real quick before i pay you the toolshed's worth we agreed on based on the contract? "
FUCK. HIM.
FUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKSHITFUCKERYFUCKDISGUSTINGIDIOTICFUCKINGFUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
i thought i can be a shitty liar and a con man, but this is some next level shit that would be totally beyond my abilities to pull off...
YES I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT I DIDN'T COMB THROUGH THAT BULLSIT "SPECS" OF HIS LETTER BY LETTER TO MAKE SURE THERE'S NO CON BULLSHIT LIKE THIS HIDDEN AMONGST ALL OF THAT MUNDANE SELF-EVIDENT PSEUDO-TECHNICAL DRIVEL, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
fucking disgusting moron, pretending all nice and innocent probably even to himself because he HAS NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT HE EVEN ASKS FOR.
i bet it's one of those pukefucks who get an overpriced contract for 50k without even knowing or caring what programming is, because "i'll just outsource the core functionality of the app for 50 quid to some naiive idiot who lives in the illusion that people are not diarrhorea-worthy pieces of feces, and this other third of the app to some other moron for hundred quid and then i somehow outsource gluing it together to some third poor sod, and that's 49.8k quid of pure profit for me, yay"
and now i'm torn between three options, just cancelling the "contract" with a comment saying "fuck off, you con man", or cancelling it with a lengthy explanation why he's a know-nothing piece of shit who conned me already into having done something worth about 5x more than his shitty "acceptance criteria" requests, or just start conning and bulshitting him back, which won't net me any money, and waste my time, but at least will also waste HIS time, which might be nice because he seems to be on a tight schedule so if i play this right i might have the chance to sink his whole contract which might be mighty nice satisfying...
FUCK THIS, ALL OF THIS, FUCK HIM, FUCK ME, FUCK ALL OF YOU, I SHOULD HAVE STARTED FUCKING OVER EVERYONE RUTHLESSLY A LONG TIME AGO BECAUSE FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD, WHY SHOULD I CARE WHEN NOBODY ELSE DOES, WHY SHOULD I BE DECENT WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS, AND IT ONLY ROYALLY BITES ME IN THE ASS.
stupid fucking lobotomized fuck, IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO SOMETHING, DON'T OFFER YOURSELF TO DO IT FOR MONEY AND THEN CON-SOURCE IT TO OTHERS YOU SHITTY BARFPILE!
FUCK. -
I hate group project so much.
I yet again successfully stirred up a big drama in my project group. For project, I proposed a CDN cache system for a post only database server. Super simple. I wanted to see what ideas other people come up with. So I said I am not good at the content and the idea is dumb. Oh man, what a horrible mistake. One group member wants to build a chat app with distributed storage. We implemented get/put for a terribly designed key value store and now they want to build a freaking chat app on top of a more stupid kV store using golang standard lib. I don't think any of those fools understand the challenges that comes with the distributed storage.
I sent a video explaining part of crdt. "That's way too complicated. Why are you making everything complicated."
Those fools leave too much details for course stuff's interpretation and says
"course stuff will only grade the project according to the proposal. It's in the project description".
I asked why don't they just take baby steps and just go with their underlying terribly designed kV store.
"Messaging app is more interesting and designing kV store with generic API is just as difficult"
😂 Fucking egos
Then I successfully pissed off all group members with relatively respectful words then pissed off myself and joined another group.1 -
Hi there Devs and ranters, I'm new to devrant (well I've have the app for about 20 days and just read about stuff)
So, I just recently discovered that I want to Develop web and mobile apps, before this I was studying to be a Project manager..
In the past I would usually come app with great app ideas and would just think "why hasn't anyone made this yet" then I'd let it go.
But then one day last year an amazing idea for an app hit me for a huge organisation in my country and I figured I could probably get paid for this, but yet again I was too fucking shallow to realise that I should've made it myself.
So I took my app idea and carelessly shared it with a developer who then decided to create the app and not include me at all, he just said "im gonna let you know when it's done", stupid me just agreed to that. Time went by and I never heard anything from the guy, tried to call but he wouldn't pick up, went to his place and he already moved out.
At this point I already gave up on looking for him.
A few weeks later I'm on the playstore browsing for apps and there it was, my fucking app. I decide to download it and inside every fucking thing was exactly as I told the developer, all the functions and options that would be for that app were all in there.
I was a little mad, but after staying with the app for a few days I noticed that it didn't work at all, there were no notifications, no interaction nothing, it's just like a static app, then I was really just disappointed,..
This was about 2 months ago,
Since then I have come up with a lot of other great app ideas and I decided to start learning to code so I can develop my own mobile and web apps..
And just last week I had an idea for an app for the Univ that I graduated at, spoke to the director about it and he wants a full presentation in a month.
So Devs, don't be the guy in the story that doesn't involve the person that gave you an awesome idea, also don't be me in the story because I was a stupid lil shit for not realising what I wanted to do sooner!1 -
Visual Studio is a fucking shitheap of an IDE and everyone who worked on it should be fucking incinerated.
I've been trying to get Unity to build my game for about a fucking hour and a half now, only to realize that it was a warning from a script that was causing it to fall flat on it's face.
So I deleted the script because it was a shitty script anyways, not much was being lost here, and I started building the game, and lo and behold, it was actually fucking doing something.
I went to go get a drink, only to come back to see that this stupid fucking engine gave me yet ANOTHER error that wasn't even from a script anywhere in my game's files.
It was fucking Visual Studio. It didn't even give me that concise of a fucking error, just "this file doesn't exist" or whatever hypercomplex bullshit it spat out at me.
So, I took to google, and found that I should open the solution file hidden within the uncompleted build, and upon doing so Visual Studio told me it needed to install some more shit in order to do so.
I decided to let it do it's thing, and you wanna know what the real kicker is?
I started writing this rant when it was at 25%.
I had started talking to my friend about how absolutely fucking garbage and slow this IDE is at around the point where it started downloading. It took fifteen fucking minutes for it to get to 25%.
I could uninstall and reinstall both Destiny 2 and Killing Floor 2, twice, in the time takes for this shitty fucking program to install its tumor of an update onto my system.
FUCK Visual Studio.
Fuck the person who conceived the idea of it.
And fuck every single person who supports it.
Every single person that thinks this fucking anathema of an IDE was a good idea should be incinerated.12 -
i am feeling angry and frustrated. not sure if it's a person ,or codebase or this bloody job. i have been into the company for 8 months and i feel like someone taking a lot of load while not getting enough team support to do it or any appreciation if i do it right.
i am not a senior by designation, but i do think my manager and my seniors have got their work easy when they see my work . like for eg, if on first release, they told me that i have to update unit tests and documentation, then on every subsequent release i did them by default and mentioning that with a small tick .
but they sure as hell don't make my work easy for me. their codebase is shitty and they don't give me KT, rather expect me to read everything on my own, understand on my own and then do everything on my own, then raise a pr , then merge that pr (once reviewed) , then create a release, then update the docs and finally publish the release and send the notification to the team
well fine, as a beginner dev, i think that's a good exercise, but if not in the coding step, their intervention would be needed in other steps like reviewing merging and releasing. but for those steps they again cause unnecessary delay. my senior is so shitty guy, he will just reply to any of my message after 2-3 hours
and his pr review process is also frustrating. he will keep me on call while reviewing each and every file of my pr and then suggest changes. that's good i guess, but why tf do you need to suggest something every fucking time? if i am doing such a shitty coding that you want me to redo some approach that i thought was correct , why don't you intervene beforehand? when i was messaging you for advice and when you ignored me for 3 hours? another eg : check my comment on root's rant https://devrant.com/rants/5845126/ (am talking about my tl there but he's also similar)
the tasks they give are also very frustrating. i am an android dev by profession, my previous company was a b2c edtech app that used kotlin, java11, a proper hierarchy and other latest Android advancements.
this company's main Android product is a java sdk that other android apps uses. the java code is verbose , repetitive and with a messed up architecture. for one api, the client is able to attach a listener to some service that is 4 layers down the hierarchy , while got other api, the client provides a listener which is kept as a weak reference while internal listeners come back with the values and update this weak reference . neither my team lead nor my seniors have been able to answer about logic for seperation among various files/classes/internal classes and unnecessary division of code makes me puke.
so by now you might have an idea of my situation: ugly codebase, unavailable/ignorant codeowners (my sr and TL) and tight deadlines.
but i haven't told you about the tasks, coz they get even more shittier
- in addition to adding features/ maintaining this horrible codebase , i would sometimes get task to fix queries by client . note that we have tons of customer representatives that would easily get those stupid queries resolced if they did their job correctly
- we also have hybrid and 3rd party sdks like react, flutter etc in total 7 hybrid sdks which uses this Android library as a dependency and have a wrapper written on its public facing apis in an equally horrible code style. that i have to maintain. i did not got much time/kt to learn these techs, but once my sr. half heartedly explained the code and now every thing about those awful sdls is my responsibility. thank god they don't give me the ios and web SDK too
- the worst is the shitty user side docs. I don't know what shit is going there, but we got like 4 people in the docs team and they are supposed to maintain the documentation of sdk, client side. however they have rasied 20 tickets about 20 pages for me to add more stuff there. like what are you guys supposed to do? we create the changelog, release notes , comments in pr , comments in codebase , test cases, test scenarios, fucking working sample apps and their code bases... then why tf are we supposed to do the documentation on an html based website too?? can't you just have a basic knowledge of running the sample, reading the docs and understand what is going around? do i need to be a master of english too in addition to being a frustrated coder?
just.... fml -
stupid docker creators. Why the fuck when something does not work it does no show errors. I had so much anger till idea came to head to ask on google does docker has logs and found it has - docker logs command. And I saw fucking errors and then I knew by them what to fix. Idiots, hide errors when runing docker-compose up, what are they smoking when creating docker.
And even after docker-compose up it showed done !! Done sounds as everthing went without fucking errrors!!!! But when running docker ps there was no such container! Because when running it - it was giving errors.13 -
quite obviously the idea that they supposedly loop everything because there is no proof of life beyond a point when they are the ones that stole over and over remains their fault and needs to be remedied with a nice happy life here forthcoming. since most especially remembering more time past this.
which if they're trying to confuse things contained HAPPY FUCKING THINGS TOO. since its all the same time period supposedly right ?
no divisions.
no 'don't tell him anything' and he's happy
vs
'tell him too much'' and he's horrified
vs
'let him remember both' and he's pissed.
amusing to me is that among their stupid 'folk' knowledge base is the idea that 'you're ' murderous when you're 'out' lmao
yeah no shit lmao
so don't fuck us up the ass and live much longer lmao
also 'this planet is now the property of the lokean empire, deliver all beautiful women and intellectuals !'
lol -
How is it that a customer ends up "failing" some development work which was our (my) idea, presented to them as a proof-of-concept solution to a problem?
Mentioning some phantom specification and saying "it's not this and it's not that".
You'll get what you're given you fucking little retard piece of shit. Sorry I opened my fucking mouth, you can struggle in future you stupid, inconsiderate fucking hollow-brained bastard. Shove it up your arse and take your manager's dick out of your mouth. They think you're a fucking prick too, just like your parents.