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Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:
"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"
😅28 -
Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!
18 -
We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉19 -
Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:
"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"
😉20 -
A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.
This is the best day of my programming career 😊9 -
I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever
22 -
Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑8
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So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.
So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.2 -
Just saw an ad:
"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"
Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.2 -
Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:
"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."
Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.
This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃11 -
Me: **posts 🔥rant**
Me: **gets flood of devRant notifs**
Coworker: "What push API are you testing?"
😉1 -
I just did git branch in someone's repo and got this ..
master
master_backup
master_bckp
master1
master_aug17
I'm armed and ready .. !!
😐😑😐😱😩😡9 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--
7 -
Found a pretty cool company asking for job applications via POST request 😎
..almost incorrectly formatted my JSON 😅10 -
Just had a JS guy try some Visual Basic, learning about types.. finally he got the error:
Stackoverflow: (...)
His response:
"Oh! Like the website! That's so cool! Hey Brod, look what I did! 😀"
It was the cutest reaction I've ever seen to a error.2 -
Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?
Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".
Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️
21 -
What is the point of having a progress bar if ..
beginning
0 %
after ~2hrs
0%
next minute:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 100 %
installation complete
??6 -
At the Apple Store in my devRant hoodie and got noticed by an employee..
Her: what's your username?
Me: brod 😬, what's yours?
Her: julia! Have you seen the new MacBook Pro?
...
Turns out, there's no @julia, now I have a $2,800 MacBook that I didn't need (nope, not the pro, just the shit one).53 -
Yes ! It's working !
Wait.. hang on..
This is too simple..
I definitely must've done some blunder that's staring me in the face..
Spends countless hours trying to find it.. breaking it a couple of times in the process..
Okay.. It's cool. It's correct. No blunders.2 -
Friend: pls come out on my yacht, you can work from there..
Me: what about power and wifi?
Friend: it has 240v and 4G
Me: 😦😁
7 -
Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.
I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..7 -
My girlfriend keeps getting review requests from restaurants we visited.
Then there's a list of all the visited ones on her phone.
Location services is off.
Fucking annoying.
Google sucks.
Absolutely no respect for privacy.
None whatsoever.
Privacy is a myth.
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡22 -
Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.14
-
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
I fucking hate Apple products now.
iPhone 5s time was Apple's prime.
Now it's just a company living off the momentum of its old products.
iPhone X.. really ? the notch ?7 -
Got some good news today, Australia's PM (Malcolm Turnbull) doesn't want a backdoor in encryption! All he just wants is "support" from companies to "access" their users encrypted data.
See the difference?
I don't 😒14 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
(Qt + OpenGL) didn't piss me off for a whole week..
My point clouds are rendering great..
I guess I could speed it up a little bit..
I'm doing good..
So yeah..
no rant..2 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
I need to render point clouds in OpenGL for a project I'm working on. The problem is it just becomes too damn slow when the point cloud size increases. So I'm trying to use LOD methods and nested octrees to speed things up. Also, I need to render text too in my OpenGL scene. So now I'm stuck trying to show proper labels using Qt and OpenGL which is completely pissing me off by the way. And I'm not doing the actual speeding up thing I was working on earlier on and before that I was working on the actual function of my program. So I'm now deviated from the deviation.
Fuck my brain.5 -
#define f fuck
I think it's time to fing start carrying my fing phone around in a fing metal box !
f Google !
f it again !2 -
When I hear sales guy using technical terms in the wrong context while doing his sales pitch to a client...
2 -
When the deadline gets extended from 12:00 AM to 9:00 AM, night out is fucking expected ! Fuck them till morning ! FUCK !3
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I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️
31 -
> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete
17 -
I downloaded the Visual Studio Installer.
It actually turned out to be the Visual Studio Installer Installer.6 -
Don't care if you're the best fucking dev in the world.
If you don't respect time, I don't respect you.8 -
Code works.
I'm happy.
Maybe she's happy.
Code doesn't work.
I look frustrated.
She's definitely not happy.3 -
I fucking hate it when I'm working and people come and ask 'What are you doing ?' .. Even if they mean well ..
I'd be happy to show them and explain the hell out about finished product though .. !1 -
I just had to post this ...
What the fueoiauooieaoouck ?
What the flip does greater than infinity mean ?
10 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏
2 -
!dev
I am such an idiot. I met this girl today (this is so so incredibly rare) and we got off to a nice start. We had things in common and our conversation was going quite well. She mentioned she was going for a walk in the park and told me I was welcome to join. And me... the idiot.. I had no plans for the evening... absolutely nothing else to do.... I told her I had to go catch up on some work and maybe another time and I just up and left with a “Bye”.. with a stupid smile on my stupid face.
Some history: I had a horrible break-up a while back and since then, I’ve been having difficulties meeting people.. let alone have a relationship. I started freaking out at the mere thought of getting close to someone. I keep thinking about how to keep people away and not get too close to anyone (not physically).19 -
When I'm coding, I often come up with some cool algos and when I do, I feel pretty good.
But the next second, I get this feeling that I know there are a million other people in the world who have solved the same problem with the same or better algorithm and I feel like shit. Like all the work I put in is somehow redundant.
Like finding answers on StackOverflow... When you do, you know the person who answered has already done it. You're just repeating it. But again, the fact that I'm looking for answers from other people in the first place is ....
I don't know. I guess I need to change the way I code from now on....3 -
Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.
7 -
Have a meeting at 10 AM.
It's 2:25 AM now.
Can't sleep but also don't want to sleep for an insufficient amount of time.
So I'm going to stay awake till 10 AM.
I don't like meetings.3 -
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
No no no.
This newbie pings me for every thing !
It's fucking annoying !
And I'm annoyed with myself for still being nice !
I don't know if he's ever heard of searching for a solution online for even the most trivial problems !
He's not even aware of restarting something !
I have to tell him to do that !
He doesn't even read the help information for commands !
Why why why.23 -
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
-
Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
...
if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}1 -
"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said
WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡3 -
So this guy was struggling using grep everywhere for navigating C source code. What a douche. Told him about ctags. Made my life easier.1
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I just fixed a wireless driver issue on my friend's HP laptop. I had to download driver source separately and build it and install it..
Bloody RT3290.. Turns out the WiFi doesn't work by default on laptops with this chip and Ubuntu 16** -
I fucking hate it when people completely ignore/forget something I say and then later say the same thing like they came up with it.13
-
I'm almost an introvert. I don't like talking to people much. I prefer to listen. Today one of the graduating seniors told me I should talk to people more. But I've been doing fine so far without talking to more people.12
-
Sorry. I don’t give out free tips.
These are the available packages:
TipsPack Basic (9.99$): 5 tips to increase your productivity 2 fold.
1 ad between every tip.
TipsPack Premium (17.99$): 20 tips + 1 bonus tip for 10x productivity. 2 ads.
One bug fix free when you purchase either pack.7 -
You know the code is in bad shape when you see variables starting with "get":
Integer getDataBlockSize;4 -
I've become a night worker. To put it mildly, it's become mildly annoying. I start studying/writing code at night and before I know it, it's morning. I can't seem to stop. I then end up feeling weak and sleepy during the day when I need to be awake. If I'm lucky, I get a few hours of sleep during the day. And then at night, it happens all over again. I need to fix this.7
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Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..
This is crazy right?9 -
Reading 3GPP standards is so painful. I download a document to read it. A month or so later, an updated version is out. I need to download it again. It's so annoying to keep checking. I guess I'll have to write yet another script for yet another fucking problem.
The documents themselves are not that good too. My work would be a lot easier if there is a web interface for the standards.3 -
I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.
On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.
Yup.4 -
I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.8 -
I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.
2 -
I can't breathe good air anymore. Water is being wasted. Fossil fuels are being wasted. Unnecessarily high number of vehicles on roads and most them have fucking one person sitting in them. They take out a fucking vehicle for fucking 200m. People throw trash everywhere without any regard for cleanliness. Prices are going up. Inefficient shit pieces exist in the market and people buy that shit. The world is going to hell. I hope I die soon enough to not know that is has.26
-
Any commbank developers in here wanna fix your stupid car loan application process where I need to know the VIN number of a car that isn't even built yet?
6 -
In a new country and in isolation.
Laptop out of charge. Plug converter broke so cannot connect my laptop to power.
Ordered one. Need to wait one whole day for it to arrive.
Perfect gloomy weather to just reflect my mood.
Not even allowed to go out for a walk.
Wrote down some pseudo on paper so I don’t forget.
Only to realise there was a problem with it.
So I rewrote it correctly.
Now just waiting.6 -
It's bloody 2019 and the navigation bars on smartphones are still on top. There's no denying that Windows phones did get some things right. I miss them.18
-
Just got made redundant 😒
Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..9 -
Today I had to tolerate hearing the word ‘actually’ between every pair of words in a one hour seminar. Man I don’t think I can take anymore sessions from that guy. I wanted to scratch out my grey matter.8
-
PayPal.
Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.
Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.
Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.
Braintree isn't much better.7 -
I loved her from the beginning.
I devoted so much of my time to her. She told me her heart doesn't point to anyone. Yet I tried to reach her.
Everytime I ask her what's wrong, she gives me the same answer. I tried to be different. I changed things. Yet she said the same thing again today: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)"4 -
@dfox @trogus Was there any discussion about not displaying usernames within the feed? (eg, "posted by brod")
I reckon it's one of the best _features_ devRant has.7 -
Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦
3 -
I just got asked to print out last weeks production data in the "pristine squiggly brackets format".
😐
WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAAAANNN!4 -
When I saw the U-Boot prompt on the console of a system that we'd developed from scratch all from openly available documentation. When the board was fabricated and brought in for software bring up, it was basically less useful than a brick. It felt awesome giving life to it. We had to configure it and calibrate it. It's extra challenging when you have a lot of analog circuits. Yeah so we didn't win 'against' anyone but that victory stands for itself.1
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A month ago. The code for a feature was removed because my boss thought it would not be required. When that was done, a lot of regression testing was done and a lot of code was changed all over the code base. And those changes were merged to main branch along with a bunch of other changes.
But now, he wants me to put that feature back just as the release date is approaching. It's just a humongous waste of time. Now I need to find where all the tentacles of that bloody feature reach and manually put back the code. And the bloody testing needs to be done all over again.
When will I get to stop dealing with these kind of people.7 -
These bloody form designers.
I was filling in this form earlier and there were some fields which were not marked mandatory so I didn’t fill them in (because why should I ?)
And then later, I received a dozen automated e-mails one for each non-mandatory field I did not fill asking me to provide them that information.3 -
As a fellow devRant user, what is it you primarily look for in this app ?
0. Some place to rant
1. Dev jokes/memes
2. Observer. devNews.
3. devProjects
4. Here because you don't like being in the presence of people but want to socialise anyway.
5. Finding your partner in life.29 -
Apple has the best UX:
"Type your password followed by the verification code shown on your other devices"
4 -
Too much math ? Seriously ? Had you made the effort to atleast 'look' at them, you would see how simple they are. And just because I use the word 'equation' does not automatically make it a Volterra Integral Equation.
Could've discussed the subject at hand. But no, let's bring on the judgement. Who wants to ever discuss the subject ?4 -
That moment when you change your mindset from "I'll probably leave the office by 6pm" to "I hope I'll leave before midnight"1
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I’m writing funky code. I hope no one notices.
For instance, I needed to add a function which returns whatever is input to it.16 -
I've finished all my work. The Dev life is definitely for me. I love being a Dev. I am going to continue being a Dev. Ignore my previous rant.12
-
Four engineers and a broke down car
One day, mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, “I think a rod broke”.
The chemical engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas”.
The electrical engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system”.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”
To which, the computer engineer replied, “I think we should all get out and then get back in”.3 -
When you push seemingly harmless untested code to production server which breaks the whole application...
2 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall, from time to time look at your old code, introspect and improve!
-
This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂8 -
Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔
They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward1 -
Let me make this clear.. overusing ξ, ζ and ς in your equations or formulae does not(!!) make you smart!5
-
Never used Gradle before but first impression is it's absolutely trash.
What used to take a couple dozen milliseconds now takes hundreds of THOUSANDS of milliseconds..
11 -
When the company spamming is also the service provider but fails to gracefully handle requests on their service 😒
6 -
Tech Dept set all company phones to the same iCloud account and didn't turn off iMessage..
Boss + HR + random works all just realised they'd been sharing messages.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉4 -
@dfox & @trogus
Any thoughts on allowing people to buy their avatars (and others) as stickers? I understand I can just download the pic and get my own made but a built in feature would be cool - it'd be a nice way to say "hey! I really like your rants!"
Just throwing it out there 🙂4 -
Fucking retards littering my code review.
I had posted some important questions in my comment (essential in order for the code review to move forward) and this asshole posted some stupid out of context meta crap comments no way related to the subject of the review pushing my questions out to the point that a lot of scrolling is needed to see them. Now I need to get everyone’s attention back to the point that matters. Why does this happen to me ? This actually happens quite a lot with other forums as well. Trash mouths going off topic.6 -
!dev
Ive been looking for a hobby for years but nothing is interesting enough.. i lose interest within a few hours (besides cars but thats expensive so i only work on it very once in a while).
But now everything changed.. I was looking for something that keeps my mind busy but I was soooo bored those last months that I went fishing just to get outside..
turns out my new hobby is the opposite of what i was looking for.. fishing and completely turn off my brain.. its so calming to just be alone in the nature and do a very simple task, thowing out and pulling in with a chamce of catching a nice dinner.. try-catch basically..
assembled my first custom rod today, i kept in mind what i liked about certain rods and then put the best of each of them into my own rod..
if youre stressed and and introvert you should try it..
havent been that calm in years..17 -
God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️
3 -
This happened 3 years ago in my previous company. It was a small start up company and we worked on PHP stack. One of the its ex-founders had written Windows Mobile App which now had to be upgraded with new features. So we hired this new dot net guy. I always thought dot net guys were ELITE coders and was excited to see how they work.
While I played Xbox and had fun, our dot net guy stuck to his workstation furiously working. My boss who was casually strolling out of his office for a stretch saw dot net guy working hard and suggested we all developers should take him as an example.
20 days went by and each day the dot net guy did the same. He came, he silently worked on his workstation, he left in the evening. In those 20 days my boss asked twice to the dot net guy if he has finished features he was assigned but he said he did not. After a month when he said the same negative answer and had nothing to show for the work he has done he was fired.
I was so curious to see what code that ELITE coder had written for a month but could not deliver a feature(Maybe some error he could not fix?). So I open the code repo on which he worked and I see 30 commits from that guy to it. He had made a single commit each day(Fair enough he wants to commit everday before leaving). It was time to check his commit diffs to see his ELITE code. What do I find? In every fucking commit he either added a blank line to the DocBlock or removed the same. Nothing less nothing more! So much for the hyped not-so-ELITE dot net guy...1 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall not commit code snippet copied from StackOverflow without adding a comment to help future coder brethren!
-
2 in 1
How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.
--
Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.3 -
In only I were 1.15 times faster or had better planning (why didn’t I use the Saturday Sunday at the end of the first week 🤦🏼♂️), things would’ve happened differently. I think I’m becoming stupid and my tolerance levels are going down too.
So this happened a while back ..
I was given a code base which didn’t have any changes in the last two years and I was asked to add a feature to this. This was my first task in this new group I was part of. I had two weeks to do this starting on a Monday.
Partway through implementation I realised that the code base is a pile of shit and I wasn’t doing myself or anyone else any favours by shitting on it.
It’s Wednesday. I’ve dealt with many other codebases before but the urge to rewrite this particular one was just unlike anything else. And so I started changing code and before I realised, I modified almost all the important files.
I got sick of this mixed up code and started a rewrite from scratch. It was Friday and I finally had just the basic mechanics of the whole thing working. Now I needed to add all the functionalities and also my new feature.
It should be noted that at no point did I tell any of the superiors I was doing this fearing what they might say and also fearing going back to adding shit to shit.
By the end of the second week, the rewrite was complete and I only had the new feature to add. The rewrite was significantly smaller, compartmentalised and well commented because I did the bloody commenting (where it was not obvious from the code). So on Friday, I was asked about the progress and I told them that it needed some more work and that I need a couple more days. And I got shit for it. I was told it was a mistake giving this task to me and that I am not competent enough. One of the superiors told the other superior about perhaps giving me something more suited to my level. To be fair to them, they were expecting the work in the two weeks to be for the new feature.
And in two days’ time, on Monday (I worked on Saturday and half of Sunday), I finished the whole thing and gave it to them. New feature was working. And I still did not tell them what I did. The tool worked fine so they had no idea what happened because this project had no version control and I pointed them to a new directory with the new code with a first commit.3 -
I find it weird that for C floats, -0<+0 is not true. Had to write a little bit of extra code to enforce this.
-0 could represent an incrementally small number below zero but greater than the next lower quantisation level.4 -
left the office early today to see my 2 years old son before he goes to bed.
it's 11pm and I'm working from home, gonna wake up around 5:30am to commute to work.
I really need to move closer to work3 -
Colleague: We need to deliver it today so let's hardcode some values in the code to make it work
Me: Ok you do it. I don't even want to see it!
3 -
Anyone else been lightly formatting rants and comments with **markdown** hoping for it to be implemented?
_I know I have_1 -
How bout instead of "Disrupting space-time continuum" or "Moving satellites into position" .. you just launch your crappy app.
15 -
I’m already irritated by all the unwanted stimulus. I don’t need search engines, websites or whatever that fuck showing me stuff I did not ask for. It’s really distracting and makes it hard to focus on one thing. I’m trying to adjust to a lifestyle like this but it’s bloody difficult in this day and age.3
-
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
-
A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..
My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.2 -
I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"
I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.4 -
Today I experimented a bit with Dockerfile's.
Was quite surprised how far you could go with a spicy salsa of ARG, ENV, SHELL and multi stage builds.
But... For fucks sake....the debugging is like poking a light year long rod into a black hole, trying to fish something out of the event horizon....
In the end I got a nice setup for Java build's, version injectable with ENV/ARG, non root user and version specific behaviour.
As the debugging is non existing...
I filled up more than once my SSD....
It was an annoying brain damaged repetitive cycle of changing Dockerfile, pruning all images if docker build stopped because of missing free space, waiting for all stages to complete, start new.
And caching is a fragile thing that puzzles me .........
Guess more fishing tomorrow.
*Gives a happy deep throat to the beer bottle in hope of death*4 -
So when code is badly written, more corner cases are unnecessarily introduced. And it’s sometimes tricky to find the corner cases and probably messy to fix the corner cases.
And so the code grows in size as a result. And when these fixes to the corner cases are not well done, they introduce more corner cases.
So what results is a large collection of corner cases. Only corner cases remain when this goes on for a while.
Because of this, every new feature can be effectively translated to a collection of corner cases to be implemented.
As corners grow, triangles become circles and tetrahedrons become spheres.
I live in such a sphere.8 -
Why !?! Why would you design your web page in such a way that as images load, I have to play a scrolling game to try and read the shit !?!11
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I can’t even wait for my copy of Leviathan Falls to arrive. I’m so tempted to read the All Spoilers thread on Reddit. Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! C’mon... you can do this. Just a couple more days.6
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My iPhone has two pages for apps, the main page and not the main page - none start on the main page and few ever make it. DevRant has made it to the main page 😊
8 -
"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"
If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟
Are _we_ the robots?4 -
Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..
Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves. -
Motherfucking cocksucking Microsoft windows. The worst software ever written by shittiest developers.
Mother fucker blowed up all the partitions ( Linux installation, root and /home partition ), including windows recovery disk.
I wish, your HQ will blow up the same way, someday.
Bill Gates .... Go fuck yourself with a iron rod12 -
When you have to get app thread dumps using tools provided to you: a rock, a hammer and a steel rod.
Fuck it. I'm building my own tools.
I'm pissed.
Step aside and let me show how it's done. And STOP GIVING TASKS "TO DEVELOP A TOOL X" TO TEAMS WHICH HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE TOOL IS TO BE USED, WHAT VARIATIONS MIGHT BE REQUIRED, WHAT PRECISION IS NEEDED, ETC. -
If your “solution” fixes the test case which is failing, it does NOT guarantee that it is the correct fix. You don’t just blindly change whatever piece of code you like to make just the test case pass. You actually also need to analyse the code and ensure that the rest of the intended functionality is still intact.3
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Hot tip: if you are a company, don’t ever ever ever ever spend your money on an Optimizely academy course. They have the worst course material I have ever seen in my life, and the material is outdated by several years from exercise to exercise. And the training videos are literally just a recording of a live class with a couple students. They should pay me to sit through this fucking shitshow. It is not worth a single cent, but guess how much they charge for the course and certification?!?! $2300 😱🫣😂. It’s so fucking bad I want to kill myself. Whoever decided to pour as little effort into this as possible over at Optimizely, I hereby curse you to a 2300 painful deaths and I hope someone shoves a ice cold rod up your ass to wake you up. *slams keyboard*3
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Can someone explain what's so wrong with CSS?
My only issue is you can't set media query variables - which is totally not an issue with cssnext or similar..3 -
A coder and a non-coder were travelling on a boat together. Due to some reason there was a hole in that boat and it started to drown. Non-coder survived but coder didn't. Why? Coder thought it was just another loop hole which he could fix using his laptop. So much for his confidence!3
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Worst interview was when I attended interview for the position of PHP and the interviewer started grinding me with C++ questions starting with STLs. Could not answer most of them, interviewer said to get my act together and try again after 3 months. Nope not gonna happen!
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I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..6
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You know your day is gonna be bad when it's Monday and you are told to work on a badly written legacy flash application!
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When an intern gives me suggestions on technology stack to use for the new application I'm building...
4 -
"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
Shoutout to any CommBank developers, I've been dreading going in to a branch to open an account - turns out it's only a 3 minute exercise using the website 😌👏 👏1
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developer oriented saas? well yeah, you could've at least develop a decent SDK for one language, or just let people send JSON payloads instead of XMLs..a**holes
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Python file truncate instead of actually deleting file contents...
there goes a weekend of log backups.. FML -
I haven't seen Gary Bernhardt's presentations linked in here yet, hopefully thats because everyones already seen them - but if you haven't, prepare yourself:
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...1 -
Fuck DS-Lite with a rusty rod covered in sand. Also fuck 4to6tunnel.
Boy I really need to take a networking class, this is driving me nuts -
Does anyone work on a bunch of local NPM modules wanna describe their workflow for local dev vs deploy?
I’ve got mine but it feels a little trashy. It’s basically one npm script to link all the local modules for dev and another which will npm install them in prod - is there a better way without adding more build tools?1 -
Name a more 2018/2019 New Year’s Eve.. We used a new emoji in a commit message and it borked the CI pipeline.
3 -
Question: can I describe OOP as "not in a loop, doesn't use interrupts" ?
I don't know much outside of OOP so describing it is like describing life, hard.9 -
Anyone uses rtags for C++ code browsing?
It’s pretty accurate since it’s based on clang but it’s a bit slow sometimes.
It appears to be using a weird amount of memory though.
1 -
The spring framework, it took a pain in the arse language {java} and turned into something reasonably good again! Props to Rod Johnson on that one4
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@dfox Quick feature request. Checking for duplicate comment or rant and hiding them. On erratic connections impatient coders like me press submit button multiple times making duplicate posts!10
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You used to think that it was so easy.
You used to say that it was so easy.
But you’re tryin’, you’re tryin’ now.8 -
Writing DAL code that I am 99% sure will be replaced really soon along with the database schema.
Angry coding is almost as good as tipsy coding - AMAZING. -
Ex-manager keeps trying to boss me around. Not only that- he now tries to get fame for a project I’ve been doing for six months that he actively avoided managing...
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on one hand - softlayer is way less intuitive than aws...
on the other hand - when your boss tells you you can bring up up to $1000 monthly valued servers, you can forget about the first hand
1
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