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This was my first freelancer project. Just dropped out of school, i think i was 17. No money, no proper hardware, i had a very old laptop & stolen wifi from our neighbor. I lived in a very small room at my mom’s flat, she wanted me out as soon as i turn 18. At the time my plan was to work on freelancer stuff and make my own games. “It will be fine, fuck school, who needs school? 😂“ I haven’t really finished anything back then, so i only had a few wip hobby projects to show ppl as my references. I saw a freelancer job posting. The task was to make a simple quiz game for mobile, it paid 350$. Back then that was a lot of money for me so i took it. I met the client, he said “2-3 week tops, i send you everything, you do the code” Cool. I finally had a “job”😃. The 2-3 weeks turned into a 8 month blur of all-nighting and just implement one more thing and its finished. I did not really have any experience on how to deal with clients and i really needed this project to finally have something on my porfolio. I motivated myself with “if i can finish this i can finish anything”. I think the story of my most definitive all-nighting was 3 months into the development. I finally got everything from the client so it was like just put it together and its done. The client wanted 300 levels, beeing a noob i was i started making all the 300 unity scenes by hand, aligning the pictures, the ui, testing each level, making adjustments to the code, etc.. after a really long night and a fuckton of caffeine i was done. I sent it to the client at around 9 am and gone to sleep. When i woke up i checked my emails to saw this: Cool! But can we do hints? (wich needed a fuckton of rework of my code) I think i had my first mental breakdown while working on the project. After that he wanted more modifications and because i made every level by hand i had to remake all of them like 10 times 😂
But in the end it turned out positive, he really helped me to start my carrier, we became sord of friends and the project gave me a lot of confidence and experience on how to deal with stuff when shit goes wrong because everything that can go wrong in a project gone wrong. It was the most valuable developer lesson. Plus it sounds so cool to say “i was born in development hell, b*tch!”🕶
I attached a pic of the laptop i worked on 😂
Thanks for reading 😃33
TL;DR: Got a really horrible supervisor temporarily fired, maybe permanently fired, got a laptop, and realized that senior devs are amazing when they stand up for the little guys
Omg... I love my coworkers!!! So like, I'm an incredibly shy dev, like, I only managed to get my internship purely because of my familiarity with c#, Android/UWP app development (although never apple, which you can read about in my last rant lol), and the API Management framework that they were using, so, long stories short, I'm insanely shy and I get anxious quite quickly in social situations, that'll be important in a bit. Anyways, so, in my previous rant (my first one actually, it was "that" bad...) I had a run-in with a rather unfair supervisor situation where he expected me to work on an iOS app without a Mac machine.
So, this is currently a little bit before my shift end, where I'm anxiously trying to get a MacOS VM up and running to be able to copy paste some psudo-code so as not to get in trouble, which is when the senior dev of the team walks by and sees me tearing hair out of my head and being really sad. So what does this god amongst men do?
He comes over and asks me what I'm doing.
Now, I didn't actually notice him, so when he asked me, I was insanely jumpy and scared that my supervisor would appear and be mad at me for not having things done, so I kind of half scream half yelp when he says something, so now he knows somethings up and he acts kind of like I'm an injured deer and slowly asks what's going on.
So, of course I tell him everything that had happened and how the supervisor got really mad about me not being able to develop iOS apps due to not having a Mac, and his expectation of me to get it magically working and getting to work on my module, and the selenium portal automatization, and after a couple seconds of me rapid fire nervous squirrel-like explanation, he holds up a hand and says "He what?!!!!? God dammit, how the hell are you supposed to do that? Jesus, you were supposed to get a company laptop when you got here, where's that??? And if you don't have that then how the hell were you working on the cross platform portion? You need a Mac machine for that, so let me get this straight... You've been frantically trying to find a workaround so that AS (let's call him AS for asshat supervisor (missing an s)) doesn't get mad at you... Who the hell... And this fuckers in charge of the interns??"
He was incredibly pissed off at this point, like, REALLY pissed off... But-
This man had just spoken miracles to me.
So I do what any self respecting intern would do, I start cry laughing and hug said BSD for a quick second (badass senior developer), and I say yep, pretty much ;-;.
And queue AS walking into my workspace and saying
AS- "are you done with the iOS a..."
BSD- "You've got to be kidding me, shut up for a second and sit down"
AS- "?" *Sits*
Me- *hides in corner and cinches up hoodie*
BSD- "Excuse me, but what did you ask benlion to do?"
AS- "Um, I simply told him to start working on the Xamarin app"
BSD- "Yes, but according to benlion, you angrily told him to start working on the Mac portion... Let me ask you something first, why would you do that? It's rude and inappropriate to be hostile to anyone at the workplace, in fact, if he wants to pursue to matter, you can get demoted, actually, if he wants to pursue it, you're fired, and there's no way I'm letting you get a management job again"
AS -"Wow, did benlion really say that? He's obviously lying due to his dislike for me, BSD, it's rather unfair to take his word over his superv..."
BSD-"Oh you did NOT just go there. That's it, stay here. And benlion, come with me." *Points at me*
Me- *Terrified out of my mind, almost to the point of a nervous breakdown because of the argument that I had started* "O-okay o_O"
Long stories short, we come back with his supervisor and he is now relieved of his duties temporarily while this whole thing gets settled...
Oh, and I get my Apple Laptop tomorrow ^-^ so I'm really happy, albeit kind of sad that its my fault that AS doesn't have a job right now ;-;, but he did yell at me and expect incredibly impossible things of me, so, not as bad as I might feel.25
I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to all the pressure at work, and my boss sat me down one day and said "Don't take it so personally, it's only work".
He explained that you simply cannot make all the people happy all the time, you can only do your best, and that is good enough.7
Just found a 1000kV arc generator on AliExpress.. huehue :v
1 megavolt? That's the usual voltage level on lightning bolts. And with air's breakdown voltage of ~15kV/cm (could differ depending on humidity), you'd need nearly a meter of distance between the prongs *and* be able to achieve an arc between that distance without having shit arc internally, before you could ever reach 1MV. Yet arc generators' prongs are usually within 1cm of each other. I'd give it 10kV at best.
Also, they're generating the voltage of a lightning bolt for €3.65 apparently.. way too good to be true. Even components able to handle 10kV are quite costly, and components having a breakdown voltage of over 1MV is completely unheard of. I'm gonna buy one of those puppies to see how the circuit is designed and to zap the shit out of those bloody mosquitos in here - the only women that love me :'( - but I wouldn't be surprised if it just boosts the output voltage up to whatever until it can arc and short out. Completely unregulated of course.. which is fine but eh, I doubt that any of those components are rated for 1MV so probably the regulation is in smoking components acting like fuses when the prongs are too wide apart :v
As for the purpose of this rant.. nothing in particular really. Perhaps it'll educate some, I don't know. Just wanted to put it out there :)
Also if you'd like to watch some video material about this, you may find ElectroBOOM's coverage interesting: https://youtube.com/watch/...35
I see lots of rants about lack of sleep, working through the night etc!
People you need to sleep an average of 7 hours a night your body needs this to stop ill health. Working through the night/mega long hours for nearly two years nearly caused me to have a breakdown.
Please be healthy! Working Long hours doesn't make you cool or a more valued employee.7
Never gonna happen:
* Port our API to graphql. Or even make it just vaguely rest-compliant. Or even just vaguely consistent.
* Migrate from mysql to postgres. Or any sane database.
* Switch codebase from PHP to... well, anything else.
* Teach coworkers to not commit passwords, API keys, etc.
* Teach coworkers to write serious commit messages instead of emoji spam
* Get a silent work environment.
* Get my office to serve better snacks than fermented quinoa spinach bars and raw goat milk kale smoothies
* Find an open source IDE with good framework magic support. Jetbrains, I'll give you my left testicle if you join the light side of the force.
* Buy 2x3 equally sized displays. I'm using 6, but they're various sizes/resolutions.
* Master Rust.
* Finish building my house. I completely replaced the roof, but still have to dig out a cellar (to hide my dead coworkers).
* Repair/replace the foundation of my house (I think Rust is easier)
* Get slim and muscular.
* Get a comfortable salary increase, focus more on platform infrastructure, data design, coaching
* Get fat(ter). Eating, sitting, gaming, coding and sleeping are my hobbies after all.
* Save up for the inevitable mental breakdown-induced retirement.9
So today, our "senior tester" logged a bug because he "Viewed Page Source" on the web based report he's testing and the Year values are hard coded! So 2017 will have to added manually!
I burst out laughing so hard, all my colleagues think I'm having a mental breakdown.2
So a tech lead is leaving the project, he's the guy from the banana story I posted a while ago, someone I consider as a very knowledgeable and talented person whom I admire very much (no homo),
He once left abruptly (his employer likes to do everything so suddenly) and later came back because eventually he's still needed in the project (even now actually), at that time before he left he gave a piece of advice to everyone and some, one of which is quite personal to me,
But this time, he's going for good, not just from the project, but from coding as well, he said that all this is not what he expected it to be like, even though he's very good at it, the best mind in our entire group,
This time his piece of advice was, "Do whatever your heart feels like doing, what you are passionate about, I've been there (doing something that pays the most) but this is definitely not for me"
Well tbh, looking at the current state of the project, no wonder everyone is having a mental breakdown,
eventually at some point, 🤤
Still, it's been great to be working with him and I learned literally tons of stuff13
TL;DR, employers are often penny wise and pound foolish.
One morning, my vehicle had a potentially life-threatening condition that I needed fixed before I could drive to work. I was 3 hours late but made a productive day of it. Plus I had stayed late after work, for no pay, a couple of nights because I have the kind of work ethic that compels me to do weird stuff like that occasionally.
When the time clock report came out it showed I was 3 hours short for the pay period. I brought up that I had "paid it forward" a few weeks prior and asked for an exception based on that. I was told that a) all "extra" work had to have been approved prior to doing it and b) that pay period had already passed, so no, I'd need to make up the hours. Being pretty miffed at being so nickled-and-dimed, and for being expected to drive to work in spite of the possibility of losing my life, I just had them take it out of my time off.
Fast forward to my latest monthly review: After another potentially life-threatening vehicle breakdown and fix, I decided to ask whether I could have a couple of telecommute days per week to offset fuel and mileage to recover the repair cost for the wear and tear on my vehicle. The answer was "No, because then everyone will want to work from home and then we'd have no way to know if they're really working."
On that same day I got an offer for doing the same job at another company for 100% telecommute and at nearly twice the salary. I turned in my resignation two days later. Now they're scrambling to try to replace me.2
Morning: Boss decided he was changing all the table names, used a different ORM than we are used to, and implemented it in such a way that the connections stay open and live forever, and had ultimately destroyed half our existing codebase.
Midday: clients keep messaging saying that everything is broken, and rather than accepting that we are fixing it, they want an entire breakdown of exactly what is wrong.
Afternoon: clients still say things are broken even though they have been fixed - they keep sending month old screenshots, which is obvious because the entire interface has changed since then.
Conclusion: shouldn't have gone to work today.4
So I ve been clinically depressed for about 10 years now. Been really great at hiding it. My illness and loneliness was so severe that i made up imaginary friends and that got so severe i couldn't tell what s real and what s not. Then about 5 years ago, i met a girl. As the cliche goes, everything felt better. Sunshine and stuff. I opened up to her. Shared stuff. I started becoming normal. The pain became bearable and manageable. Turned to entrepreneurship. Had goals and stuff. Had 7 failed startups but kept on going. Raised investment for an 8th. It went better than anyother. Was going to become the next big thing bla bla. She became the reason i turned from being a loner weirdo to someone awesome. Anyway, as nothing tends to last, my best friend who had been through thick and thin in my work, quit last year in October. He messed up some work from big client nd we had a fight. He left. In the meantime i scored a big multinational company. I was gonna propose to my girlfriend in March this year. But instead she decided to leave for someone better who left her in 3 weeks lol. Anyways, we broke up. During that time, my second friend decided to fuck up my work with the big company so hard that they were about to blacklist my company. And then he left too. I had a small team. 4 5 people doing their best. By that time, i was the only one left. On 28th feb i had my breakup, on 1st march i was sitting 700 km away from home in an office trying to talk the company out of blacklisting us. It took me around 20 days to make that happen. All the while dealing with the obvious, my depression getting stronger than ever. My imaginations taking shape and fucking up my reality. The voices in my head getting stronget and stronger. 4 months now since she left. I dont think i miss her anymore. She tried coming back once but i didn't let her. In the 4 months, i m at my worst. I am getting government contracts now. But i have no desire to do anything. The pain is unbearable. So much that on its good days it sucks the life right out of me. So much that when it gets severe the urge to harm myself in any way goes of the charts. My best friend and i, we became friends again after my ex left. He s been helping me as much as he can. I have all the good oppurtunities and chances that any entrepreneur who has been busting his ass for 5 years straight would kill to have. But i cant do anything. I m the only one left on my team. I have to handle the business, dev, marketing etc etc ends on my own. I tried hiring and scaling up but i messed that up because of obvious reasons. And now my company has 2 months of runway left. And i know if i bust my ass i can make it to 8 months more and even raise a round a. But its really hard to do when either you re sleeping 20 hrs a day or you re sleeping 3 4 hrs because you re afraid of the nightmares. Or when even you ve had a good day, the pain becomes so much that you lay on the floor having a breakdown. Yeah, i m trying professional help. I m hoping it helps me. Because right now, i dont care about being happy. I just want my sanity. Something i m clinging to with every fiber of my being. Something that s burning out like a candle burning from both ends. I cant give up my work. I dont want to. That s all i have. That s all what i love doing and now i cant even do that. I just want this to end somehow. Either i get better and the pain and the void and silence and everything else goes away, or i do. I dont know what will happen first. And i dont care. I just want to be normal. But i guess that s too much to ask.8
An old conversation with a former Team Lead (TL)
TL: The client has requested for a feature. Can you provide an effort estimation.
(gives estimation with task breakdown)
TL: 2 weeks? They wants it in 3 days!
LONG RANT AHEAD! I'M SO UPSET!
Off topic I know, sorry. Needed to vent.
So, right now I am studying Maths / Physics at University, but before that I got a HNC qualification in Applied Sciences.
While I was at college we had a very nice maths lecturer. I won't mention her name but she was very good at what she did and she always had a laugh with us.
Today, I visited the college to say hello to everyone, only to find out that she'd been removed from the building just moments before I arrived because she had a literal mental breakdown. She couldn't take the stress from the students who refused to do the work.
It all started when she tried to get in the lift. Everyone at the college knows she is very claustrophobic and so when she gets in a lift, everyone has to get out. No big deal. Except this one girl in her class, who is especially ignorant, refused to move and it sent the lecturer, who had been on the edge of a breakdown for weeks, into a blind rage. She ran up to the student and threatened to fight her if she didn't move. Other lecturers ran out and separated the two, only for the lecturer to throw her entire box of teaching supplies down the hall, smashing it into a million bits. She then proceeded to smash her head against the wall and shout "doesn't it feel better when you hit your head against a wall?". She was immediately escorted off the premises. No ambulance called. No support. Nothing.
It's safe to say her career is ruined.
Her teaching permit will be revoked indefinitely.
She'll never teach again.
She's lucky if she doesn't get arrested.
She's still not getting the help she needs because noone can be bothered dealing with it.
And its all because she couldn't handle the stress of the class she was teaching. A class that went out of their way to be mean and deliberately not do the work, because they knew they would get away with it.
I also blame the college. They were warned several times that she wasn't coping and the behaviour of the students and they did nothing. Nada.
A lovely woman who was brilliant at her dream job has been rendered jobless and mentally unstable in minutes.
All for what?
This event in particular strikes a chord with me because I suffer from mental health issues also - mostly anxiety. And lately its been getting worse. Sometimes I feel like the world is passing me by and I have no idea what I'm doing and if I'm going to fail at life, but I have support. I have counsellors and therapists if I need them. She didn't.
Sometimes I hate this world.11
Breakdown of a casual work day:
50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?8
Actual conversation today with one of my remote developer teammates in Ukraine
Me: "next up I'd like to discuss the 'bigger picture' so you have context for the next tasks..."
Dev (after an hour or so and some chat in between...): "Yes, could you please send more details about a large images issue?"
Me (somewhat perplexed): "what are you... oh! Haha"
I asked for last minute day off tomorrow. And was told yes (probably very begrudgingly). I'm so happy that I don't know if these tears are from a breakdown or happiness...19
When you have to postpone your own mental breakdown because you don't have the time for it.
OR FOR ANYTHING (1WEEK NO SHOWER)6
Well I just had a breakdown a few hours ago.. For a too calm guy like me it's really rare, but also not surprising. I have my third deadline in a row, haven't really seen people over the last month. Thanks guys for helping me survive socially during this month, I'm a very social guy usually, so I really needed that.
Apart from that, last time I was hopeful about my schedule and sent it to my advisor she called me the day after shouting that it's not realistic and I'll never be done on time. I could have worked harder on February, that's true, but for fuck sake she ruined all of my motivation in a 10 minute call.
I wish I liked what I'm doing. I wish people I work with would have appreciated what I'm doing and encourage me. I wish I was 2 weeks to the future when I have not even a slight thing to worry about.
Get me outta here 😩3
I will die younger because of node packages
It's like quantum mechanics, so undeterministic, even with yarn.lock, I had this meeting to demo software and I was ready for 2 min past the meeting time, having worked nearly all night to save monorepo yarn workspaces issues where some module has peer dependency it shouldn't have and some other module installed a newer version of a package which broke another module with another version of the same package, one module checks if it's got an instanceof another package, but it returns false because it's another version of the same package that created it so X !== X.
I nearly had a nervous breakdown and my node modules won't fix when I remove all node_modules in the yarn+lerna monorepo and reinstall from scratch... it's like seeing ghosts with these errors all works for months and then a butterfly splashes its wings near 1 node module and the entire app fails apart.
I swear I almost had a nervous breakdown today.
Advisor at college has told me I won't be graduating until Feb 2019, I'll be 29 with a degree in IT and my minor in software engineering. I feel like I'm just playing catch up to the younger crowd who got there sooner.
On top of that all the entry level programming jobs I applied to have rejected me on the basis of not having my degree yet. They're impressed with my work but they want me out of school. I have to wait it out until I'm closer to graduating.
On good days when I code Java web applets love what I do and I wouldn't have it different, but on days like today I feel like shit and wonder if my degree was worth it, especially when I factor in that my degree only went up to pre-calc on the math end. (I'm thinking of majoring in a masters in CS as a way to makeup, maybe)
I'm frustrated and I feel the same kind of loneliness when I graduated HS. I know there's a light at the end but some days it's just hell.
I'm sure a lot of you have gone through this. Any ideas to destress?6
Kuronbka's first flight has ended miserably, before even beginning. After a small breakdown because of wasted 7 hours, I made myself a reminder that I'm fucking stupid and it never changes19
Last week's Android development time breakdown:
21.9% Managing state
17.7% Referring to lifecycle diagrams
15.1% Waiting for Gradle
8.5% Reading the official docs on how to use component x
8.4% Reordering auto-generated ConstraintLayout XML
4.2% Googling “Stack overflow component x is deprecated”
3.9% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 24 or lower”
3.7% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 21 or lower”
3.2% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 19 or lower”
2.9% Googling “Stack overflow callback y called twice”, realising its a feature and not a bug, swearing a lot
2.0% Checking if Flutter is mature yet
1.0% Implementing business logic4
Basically an addendum to all of my other rants on here.
I've been feeling burnt out for much of the past 6/7 months. Way too many projects going on, not enough time, an assehole boss, unsupportive colleagues and useless clients.
I had a mini-breakdown on New Years (maybe 3rd of Jan) where I had a million things to do before going back to work after having worked through a lot of Christmas and not seeing family. So I sat on the floor in my bedroom, shut all the doors, blinds and every light source at 2am and had a panic attack. Clutching my knees, freaking out and so tense it hurt. After about an hour of that I just collapsed and woke up a couple of hours later ready for another day of shit and it's been shitty ever since.
It'd been almost 7 years since my last panic attack and I fucking blew it because of fucking work and a cunt boss pressuring me too much.1
The WTF moment when I realized that the main production DB server was configured with **dynamic** private IP. After maintenance upgrade and reboot the rest of environment stopped. When I explained to sys admin what caused the production breakdown hi still did not get that :/3
Well I WAS going to develop a side project on my day off today (a network of Arduinos and a Raspberry Pi) but the woman my wife hired to clean our house flaked-out, so now I get roped in to fucking housecleaning.
This was going to be an awesome day. Was gonna work on my project, chew some tobacco, and then go shooting, and out for wings for dinner. (where I live, chicken wings can be an entire meal)
Now I'm cleaning the shitter and scrubbing countertops because the little precious snowflake of a cleaning lady is in the middle of a (so-far) 3-day emotional breakdown.
Dear snowflake cleaning lady: Fucking learn IPv4 socket programming on the fly, when you've got an imminent deadline, and a crying, teething baby in the next room, at 3am, and don't fucking lose your cool at any point during all of this, then tell me about your fucking "emotional breakdown."3
I don't want to hear about Java, JPA, JSP, Json or John ever again or i will have a mental breakdown11
I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.
My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.
And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.
Things I hate the most at the moment:
- The person that coded this before me
- My job
- My boss
- The big pile of sh*it that this code is (overall not just the screenshot), no separation of concern, logic code in the middle of the file, no proper slacing and indentation
- devRant no allowing me to put multiple images in one post, because the picture is just one of this whole mess, it's not even the worst part, you'd have nightmare if I showed it to you
- The mental breakdown I'm having16
Why is it that if you are not able to remember every single detail about something you've heard, that you as a person are deemed worthless?
Everything you do and need in life is bound to your memory.
Can't remember a name?
Can't remember what a technology does?
You won't get that job.
Can't remember the topics you learned about in school?
You won't get that education.
I can't remember things, my mind is constantly drifting. This, together with my inability to articulate myself clearly, makes me a complete nobody.
I hope that someday I'm just able to do something creative and not have these issues. Until then I'll just try not to jump in front of a train.3
Allrighty, so we have a huge migration upcoming. The planning started early this spring. We've split the whole process into separate tasks and estimated each of them. Also marked all the tasks client should take care of itself so save funds and time. All-in-all the whole thing estimated like 4 months if we did it [single dev, tremendous amounts of communication with various parties, buy and prepare the infra, adapt app to the changes, testing, monitoring, etc.] and like a month if client did the tasks we shouldn't be doing. The funding for migration is time-bound and can only be used before December. Cool! We got notified that by the end of April we should be good to go! Plenty of time to do things right!
April comes. Silence. Mid-april we resch out to the client. Since there's plenty of time left migration is getting lower priority to other tasks. Well allright, sort of makes sense. We should migrate mid-July. Cool!
July comes. Client replies that everyone's on vacation now. Gotta wait for August - will do the quicker version of migration to make it on time. Well allright....
August comes. Everyone's vusy with whatever they've postponed during summer. Hopefully we'll start migration in September. Mhm...
September comes. We're invited to a meeting by project funders to explain tasks' breakdown, justify the time needed to make the migration. We're being blamed for surreal estimations and poor organization of tasks as nothing's happened yet... [they were the ones who always were postponing things....]. Moreover, they can only spare 20% of infra resources required for data alone anf they want us to make that enough for all environments, all components, all backups, all databases,... You get the pic.
The leader of the meeting semi silently mumbled to other participants 'Well then I'm afrsid we can't make a full migration in time.. Only partial. That's very unfortunate, very. That's why we should not have incopetent vendors [*glancing at us*]'
somehow we agreed we'll get the resources mid-November and we should be thankful for him bcz he'll have to pull some strings for... us..
I left the meeting with my fists squeezed so hard! But it's okay, we got smth useful: resources and start date. Although it leaves us with less than a month to do smth requiring a month for a sunny-day scenario. Nvm, still doable.
Last week we get an email that resources will be available at the beginning of December [after deadline] and we should start a full migration no sooner than Nov 12. Which leaves us with 50% of our estimated fucking optimistic scenario time and not enough resources to even move a single db.
Fuck I hate politics in dev... Is it wrong for me to want to tie them to a pole, set them on a veeery slow fire and take a piss on them while they're screaming their shitty lungs out? I'd enjoy the view and the scream. I know I would. And while enjoying I might be tempted to take a burning 20cm diameter wooden stick and shove it up their assholes. Repeatedly. Round-robin. Promissing them I'll take it out in 5 seconds and pulling it out after 2 minutes.
!dev (maybe slightly)
I went to a CV Workshop organized by my first school. The presenter was the slightly-arrogant/know-it-all/cool type of guy who's a recruiter and also has his own company he runs. The presentation was OK, even though it took longer than announced. However, there were some things that bugged me. He expects everyone somehow to be extraordinary. Granted he works as a recruiter and his clients would like only the cream of the top, but some of the examples he gave from his personal experience, he seemed to give more gravity on other traits of the candidates than their achievements and qualifications (e.g. rejecting a candidate because she had posted a photo of her clubbing on Facebook). Also, somehow he judges candidates based on their parents profession. Lucky me that I fall into the category he dislikes. Now the fun part (sorry for the long post):
Next week there's a career day. I sent my CV as soon as I got the mail and then I also phoned the person in charge (as per the instructions). Yesterday on the workshop it was said we should resend our CVs by tomorrow on another mail? No problem you may think, but that said recruiter will take a look on them and that means I will have to rework mine just to make sure it is to his liking. I'm no fan of writing mission statements, nor trying to guess what my qualities (aka soft skills) are because what I think I am doesn't mean I actually am.
So now, I'm in a dilemma. Just send the CV as is or get a mental breakdown just so to please that person?
Thanks everyone for your patience and time, I just wanted to pump some steam out me...6
I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.
Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.8
Such glorious Wednesday...
#1: Friend needs me to keep her cats, hasn't called yet to give me keys (and she's leaving tonight).
#2: Got an e-mail from a job I applied, rejected cause I flunked the impromptu technical interview (with the usual pretty wording).
#3: Helping a friend with his dissertation code in Java. Just a marvellous spaghetti code with minimal semblance of a structure and a hodgepodge of various solutions found on the Internet. 2H 40M and still nothing... At least I have my stress ball to save me from mental breakdown...1
Boss says to give budget for a job. I give budget by associated cost of materials that we use. Simple math device cost x amont, we need y number of x. I give budget of $25k. Boss says that's great, he gave a cost of $10k to customer. We need to work on getting it closer to that.
WTF do you need me for?2
Spent 2 hours wondering why Unity Engine sees my 2 joysticks as Joystick 1 and Joystick 5 (or 6 depending on a UBS port).
Turns out, for some reason, Unity remembers ALL the ports that were ever used (even with the usb extender). That's documented...exactly nowhere. Ok, at least I figured that out, but what am I gonna do about it? Nothing, there's no way to change the order.
So after a quick nervous breakdown, and a cigarette break, I decided to build and run the game, just to see how it looks, and...what's this?
Everything's working! Unity removes all the joysticks from it's array and puts only active ones in the right order and that too is documented...NOWHERE!
Ugh... Unity I still love you, but god damn, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!
Needless to say, this day is an emotional roller coaster.1
This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...
I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)
So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...
Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...
So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?
(Sorry for the long post :/ )8
Built a quick mockup for a custom CRM as the client was unsure about the UX/UI and wanted to see something before going ahead, used an online tool for the example.
Client wasn't happy when they saw the overall breakdown of costs. They didn't want to pay as much because "most of it was already built"5
So I'm getting more and more into OOP PHP (inb4 'Hur hur hur PHP is terrible ya fucken nerd!'). I need to breakdown a rather large class but I'm not sure how to go about doing it.
So far, each instance of the class has 12 parameters. Two of which have a further 11 in each. I've managed to separate those into classes themselves but I'm just wondering if that's all still too much.
This will probably be a series of questions/comments/whatever. For now I just have the first instance of what I'll need the class to look like in the form of an array.
It's for a site based on the game Rainbow Six Siege. I'm hoping to get every operator, their weapons, abilities, maps, positions, objective locations and tons of tips together. This is all so eventually I can create a system of identifying good tactics, what operators to use on what maps and where. General guidance for new players really.
Eventually, a search function that lets you pick the map, game type, location and tells you what would work best as well as hints and tips.6
So, yesterday I was explaining one of our sales guys why I wouldn't be able to finish a task for his client, since I had passed the last days recovering from a major db breakdown, and had plenty of work on wait before I could get to what he asked.
The prick goes and tells my PM he's about to loose the business because of me, and screws all my timetable for the week...
What should I do to make sure he never messes with devs anymore?
How can I ask my coworkers for feedback without coming off as insecure?
A year and a half ago I got my first job as a remote developer when I was 30. I've done web and IT related jobs before but not full time development. Everything was fine for the first 10 months and then I started getting negative reviews, that my productivity rate is much lower than the rest of the team. I felt really sad and stressed, which led to a minor breakdown, which led to my contract being changed from a full time employee to a contractor that gets paid by the (estimated) hour. After a bit of research, I found out that my productivity rate was low because I was the only developer following our "One test per pull request" policy, which was obviously cancelled at some point, but nobody informed me. I didn't bring this up to my boss because I didn't want to make my manager and coworkers look bad. Working as a contractor isn't so good because a lot of times my features are delayed because of external factors I can't control(code reviews, testers, tests randomly breaking). I want to find out if I'm a bad developer or if the company is trying to cut costs by taking advantage of my insecurity and inexperience.3
I got a job opportunity in another country and went there for a 3 weeks trail working, I've worked on two different projects, one was with a CMS called Contao and the other one on WordPress, I'm fluent on WordPress, I've been developing themes for more than three years now.
With Contao I started the learning curve and for 2 weeks I learned a lot of stuff.
Before coming back for Visa stuff and taking care for few documentes needed they asked me if I could still do some freelance stuff from my home country. I said yes and got invited to the GIT repo.
It's been a week now that I'm trying to understand how stuff work and everything that the senior dev wrote is way advanced from everything that I've ever worked.
I couldn't finish more then 5 minor tasks simple CSS and PHP logic and I'm feeling very embarrassed.
I just wrote to the senior dev and told him that I'm way behind with my coding skills and I'm seeing dreams with code that don't work.5
So, after having my mental breakdown with the 500k LoC Zend Frameshit PHFuck 5.5 with 0 test project, for a whole year; and after moving to a better job, I now inherited a React/Node/GraphQL project with a shitty architecture. It's so shit technical debt can almost be payed with actual cash... or flesh, ass-for-arch.
However, line test coverage is over 90%, so I guess it is an improvement.1
Client deletes erp record with a massive amount of aggregate objects. Calls and almost has a nervous breakdown.
Thank god for soft deletes, they make awesome invoices.
Those feels when you're tasked with producing a detailed breakdown of the structure of the client's application, and you're high-key having to avoid being too negative about the shit-show.2
FUCK people that romanticize all nighters. I'm here stuck at 04am waiting for my colleagues to finish because you told us 3 days prior to release the most important features. Or you don't listen to the clients or you're just plain stupid. HOPE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD that the next place won't be like this.
(Sorry for the caps, having a mental breakdown here)2
Whoever complains about Visual Studio has never once coded in Atmel Studio... They may look the same, but while one is used to program, the others only purpose in life is to give people a mental breakdown...2
Anyone else add increasingly snarky or desperate comments and console log messages when things aren't working right? My messages are like watching a coder's mental breakdown slowly progress.
Coworker 1 asked if there was a website where he can learn more about Formstack.
Coworker 2 said no.
Coworker 1 asked him then what about formstack itself? Is their website helpful? Do they have a help section?
Coworker 2: "Well there’s not really a websiiiiiite for help, but their main website has a page for help.”
Coworker 1: “can you send me a link?”
Coworker 2: "no. I mean I can, but I mean they don’t really have a help website, but just help on their website.”
Coworker 1: "WTF!"2
When you're debugging a service and your company gets an internet breakdown, which you did not realise and wonder why that string broke everything...
Until your music stops streaming.
Been waiting 5 minutes already. I'm done Windows, shut down already. What the hell are you waiting for?8
"Show list of people not affiliated with Creed".
found this on a work breakdown I made. HAHA this isn't related to my project right now. Can't even remember writing this. lol
Story of my first successful project
Being part of a great team, I've shared in a lot of successes, one I am particularly proud of is my first attempt to use agile methodologies in a deeply waterfall-managment culture.
Time was June/July-ish and we applied for a national quality award where one key element in the application stated how well we handled customer complaint resolution.
While somewhat true (our customer service is the top-shelf good stuff), we did not have a systematic process in resolving customer complaints. Long story short,
the VP lied on her section of the application. Then came the 'emergency', borderline panic meeting (several VPs, managers, etc) to develop a process to better manage
complaints before the in-house inspection in December.
As most top priority projects go, the dev manager allocated 3 developers, 2 DBAs, and any/all network admins we would need (plus all the bureaucratic management that wanted their thumb in the pie).
Fast forward to August, after many, many planning meetings, lost interest, new shiny bouncing balls, I was the only one left on the project. The VP runs into the dev manager in the hallway and asks "Is my program done yet? If its not ready before December with report-able data, we will not win the award."
The <bleep> hit the fan...dev manager comes by...
Frank: "How the application coming along? Almost done?"
Me:"No, haven't really started coding. You moved Jake and Tom over to James's team, Tina quit, and you've had me sidetracked helping other teams because the DBAs are too busy."
Frank: "So, it's excuses. You really think the national quality award auditors care about your excuses? The specification design document has been done for months. This is unacceptable."
Me: "The VP finished up her section yesterday and according to the process, we can't start coding until the document is signed off."
Frank: "Holy f<bleep>ing sh<bleep>t! No one told you *you* couldn't start. You know how to create tables and write code."
Me: "There is no specification to write to. The design document is all about how they plan on reporting the data, not how call agents will be using the application to serve customers."
Frank: "The f<bleep> it isn't. F<bleep>ing monkeys could code against that specification, I helped write it! NO MORE F<bleep>ING EXCUSES! This is your top priority from now on!"
I was 'cleared' to work directly with the call center manager and the VP to develop a fully integrated customer complaint management system before December (by-passing any of the waterfall processes that would get in the way).
I had heard about this 'agile' stuff, attended a few conference tracks on the subject, read the manifesto, and thought "I could do this.".
Over the next month, I had my own 'sprints' and 'scrums' with the manager (at the time, 'agile' was a dirty word so I had to be careful of my words and what info I shared) and by the 2nd iteration had a working prototype.
Feature here, feature there (documenting the 'whys' and 'whats' along the way), and by October, had a full deployed application.
Not thinking I would get a parade or anything, the dev manager came back from a meeting where the VP was showing off the new app to the other VPs (and how she didn't really 'lie' on the application)
Frank: "Everyone is pleased how well the project turned out, except one thing. Erin said you bothered him too much with too many questions."
Me: "Bothered? Did he really say that?"
Frank: "No, not directly, but he said you would stop by his office every day to show him your progress and if he needed you to change anything. You shouldn't have done that."
Me: "Erin really seemed to like the continuous feedback. What we have now is very different than what we started with."
Frank: "Yes, probably because you kept bothering him and not following the specification document. That is why we spend so much time up front in design is so we don't waste management's time, which is exactly what you did."
Me: "We beat the deadline by two months, so I don't think I wasted anyone's time. In fact, this is kind of a big win for us, right?"
Frank: "Not really. There was breakdown in the process. We need better focus on the process, not in these one-hit-wonders."
End the end, the company won the award (mgmt team got to meet the vice president, yes the #2 guy). I know I played a very small, somewhat insignificant role in that victory, I was extremely proud to be part of the team.
When someone gives you a requirements document that has too many details including table names that do not fit your convention but doesn't give a simple breakdown of things such as when x = y do this.
My job is so much more complicated since the requirements document is almost 3k words when it could be a few paragraphs.
I nearly had a breakdown, my razer blade laptop cannot handle headphones plugged in. Like seriously? I definitely haven't broken it. It frustrates me that one of the latest laptops can't handle wired headphones.2
He must be developer.
It is alright bud. It is alright.2
Can anyone suggest any websites or resources for a breakdown of how to handle requests for features or handling bugs. Basically, I want some kind of background on best practices for managing the process of receiving a feature request/or bug report from a user to it reaching the dev team, to production/user acceptance testing.5
When your business processes just don't map to four HTTP verbs, and the world seems a little less well-ordered. That feeling.
tl;dr I should start writing sitcoms
So my mind is going crazy. Last I night I had a dream about a colleague. He was working on a kind of smart photo frame thingie, which should be published to stores like walmart and so on. Also his 30th birthday was around the corner and his soon to be wife was driving him nuts. So the stage is set for some action. I was visiting him along to said store on the publishing day since he was that paranoid as his job was tightly connected to the success of this project. Anyway now the whole thing gets this tragic comedic type of feeling. He is about to go through a mental breakdown in the very store. Destroying things, yelling like a gramps and stuff you know from sitcoms. I swear at some point he did loose his pants. Also the staff didn't give a damn about him. I was trying to clean his path of destruction so that no one takes note of this. Of course I failed gloriously. This thing goes on for a while. Finally in some kind of credits scene he was sitting in front of his laptop reading a blog post about the success of this thingie. After an insanly long pause of suspension he was starting to kiss his monitor in relief. I swear to god there was fake laughter somewhere in the background like in the good old sitcoms.... Never eat pizza right before sleeping....