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Search - "john"
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Her: Hey, just heard what John did to you.
Me: Yea. I can't believe he screwed me over like that. I thought he was my friend.
Her: Don't worry. Forget about the bustard. You know #FFF
Me: 🙁 #FFF? What does white got to do with all this.
Her: What???
Me: #FFF. This is white.
Her: Nooooo. It means Fuck Fake Friends. As in the G. Eazy song.
Me: Ohhh😐23 -
"WE'RE HIRING!!"
Skills Required:
BEFORE: HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery
NOW: REACT/VUE/ANGULAR, NODE, CI/CD PIPELINE, DOCKER, GRAPHQL, JOHN CENA12 -
We were talking about harddrives at work when someone was wondering if filling them with helium would make them spin faster... Then imagination took over!
"But helium balloons float, right... So would helium filled hard drives float..? Probably not due to weight but imagine dropping a hard drive and seeing it float towards the ceiling.."
"John, the delivery guy has a box with new harddrives downstairs, could you go get them?
*shouts* John did you get them? Just don't open the box outside!! No, no, NOOO DON'T OPEN IT OUTSIDE! JOHN, THE HARDDRIVES, BE CAREFUL, DON'T OPEN THE BOX OUTSI.....
*harddrives floating by the window into the air*
NOO, JOHN, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
"*walks into the office, harddrives floating against the ceiling* goddammit John, not again"
"John, why are you putting one kilometer long cables on those harddrives?
*John let's them float into the air towards the clouds*
We offer cloud storage!"
(We have a usual office building ceiling)
"John, I need a 1tb harddrive, where are those?
Uhm... C12!
*takes a ladder and walks towards c12 to pluck one from the ceiling*"
😆7 -
Boss: Who knows VB?
Me: I once wrote a calculator
Boss: Good enough! You will edit the companies biggest VB Application.
Lesson learned. When your Boss asks if you know a programming language you do not really know, you are like John Snow: Know nothing7 -
"Your stupidity is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range" - John Byrd
This insult is from one of my personal favourites and must be one the best programmer insults ever since it is backed up with programmatic proof written in valid C code.
You should really read the post, it's only one of the many gems in there.
Source: https://quora.com/What-is-the-harde...3 -
The programmer who killed people: Not so talented programmer named John, made a mistake in his code. because of this mistake the program users spent 15 minutes to do a workaround. this program had 10 million users. In general the users spent 150 million minutes because of john's mistake, which is 2.5 million hours. if a person sleeps about 8 hours a day, he have 16 active hours. which means john wasted 156,250 human days that equals to 427.8 human years. people leave approx. until the age of 64, that means John just killed 6.68 people because of his bug. So john, how do you sleep at night?10
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It's funny how a man gets something done and gets a "Good work, John!".
But, a woman gets the same thing done, and gets "Good work, team!".
#RealFuckingStory #ItHappenedToMe40 -
Worst thing you've seen another dev do? Long one, but has a happy ending.
Classic 'Dev deploys to production at 5:00PM on a Friday, and goes home.' story.
The web department was managed under the the Marketing department, so they were not required to adhere to any type of coding standards and for months we fought with them on logging. Pre-Splunk, we rolled our own logging/alerting solution and they hated being the #1 reason for phone calls/texts/emails every night.
Wanting to "get it done", 'Tony' decided to bypass the default logging and send himself an email if an exception occurred in his code.
At 5:00PM on a Friday, deploys, goes home.
Around 11:00AM on Sunday (a lot folks are still in church at this time), the VP of IS gets a call from the CEO (who does not go to church) about unable to log into his email. VP has to leave church..drive home and find out he cannot remote access the exchange server. He starts making other phone calls..forcing the entire networking department to drive in and get email back up (you can imagine not a group of happy people)
After some network-admin voodoo, by 12:00, they discover/fix the issue (know it was Tony's email that was the problem)
We find out Monday that not only did Tony deploy at 5:00 on a Friday, the deployment wasn't approved, had features no one asked for, wasn't checked into version control, and the exception during checkout cost the company over $50,000 in lost sales.
Was Tony fired? Noooo. The web is our cash cow and Tony was considered a top web developer (and he knew that), Tony decided to blame logging. While in the discovery meeting, Tony told the bosses that it wasn't his fault logging was so buggy and caused so many phone calls/texts/emails every night, if he had been trained properly, this problem could have been avoided.
Well, since I was responsible for logging, I was next in the hot seat.
For almost 30 minutes I listened to every terrible thing I had done to Tony ever since he started. I was a terrible mentor, I was mean, I was degrading, etc..etc.
Me: "Where is this coming from? I barely know Tony. We're not even in the same building. I met him once when he started, maybe saw him a couple of times in meetings."
Andrew: "Aren't you responsible for this logging fiasco?"
Me: "Good Lord no, why am I here?"
Andrew: "I'll rephrase so you'll understand, aren't you are responsible for the proper training of how developers log errors in their code? This disaster is clearly a consequence of your failure. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Me: "Nothing. Developers are responsible for their own choices. Tony made the choice to bypass our logging and send errors to himself, causing Exchange to lockup and losing sales."
Andrew: "A choice he made because he was not properly informed of the consequences? Again, that is a failure in the proper use of logging, and why you are here."
Me: "I'm done with this. Does John know I'm in here? How about you get John and you talk to him like that."
'John' was the department head at the time.
Andrew:"John, have you spoken to Tony?"
John: "Yes, and I'm very sorry and very disappointed. This won't happen again."
Me: "Um...What?"
John: "You know what. Did you even fucking talk to Tony? You just sit in your ivory tower and think your actions don't matter?"
Me: "Whoa!! What are you talking about!? My responsibility for logging stops with the work instructions. After that if Tony decides to do something else, that is on him."
John: "That is not how Tony tells it. He said he's been struggling with your logging system everyday since he's started and you've done nothing to help. This behavior ends today. We're a fucking team. Get off your damn high horse and help the little guy every once in a while."
Me: "I don't know what Tony has been telling you, but I barely know the guy. If he has been having trouble with the one line of code to log, this is the first I've heard of it."
John: "Like I said, this ends today. You are going to come up with a proper training class and learn to get out and talk to other people."
Over the next couple of weeks I become a powerpoint wizard and 'train' anyone/everyone on the proper use of logging. The one line of code to log. One line of code.
A friend 'Scott' sits close to Tony (I mean I do get out and know people) told me that Tony poured out the crocodile tears. Like cried and cried, apologizing, calling me everything but a kitchen sink,...etc. It was so bad, his manager 'Sally' was crying, her boss 'Andrew', was red in the face, when 'John' heard 'Sally' was crying, you can imagine the high levels of alpha-male 'gotta look like I'm protecting the females' hormones flowing.
Took almost another year, Tony released a change on a Friday, went home, web site crashed (losses were in the thousands of $ per minute this time), and Tony was not let back into the building on Monday (one of the best days of my life).10 -
Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:
random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*6 -
Sorry John Doe, you're application for this job has been rejected. As we specified for this job you need to know about GitHub. In your CV you stated that you are an expert in git but our job requires the knowledge of hub as well. Good luck next time10
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This is a long rant. Sorry in advance. I just want to let it all out.
I don't really know what John (not his real name) did to my boss, who I shall name as Steve. Does he have a personal grudge? Like wtf?
John wasn't even incompetent. He even helped us mobile developers in our designs using photoshop. He's flexible. Ok sure, he isn't a top performer, but he isn't a low performer either. But why the fucking hate? really.
We currently have a new project, and are assigned to our posts. Then Steve goes, "Ok John, you will remain in the old project." He already said it once, which is fine. But did he really have to bring it up EVERY TIME? "John doesn't have to go overtime because he's in the old project, so it'll only be us." Like really? Of course we know that. why do you have to keep repeating that John isn't included? He even pointed at John during this. John shouldn't have been in the meeting then. Dipshit.
There was a meeting with the Web team in regards to what the progress was. When it came to John, Steve had to say, "The design is so ugly." Ok.. first off, you are not the QA to say that. And everyone else says it's fine. Even the QA says it's fine. So wtf? Why do you hate him so much?
We have these friday meetings in where we present our topics to the team, like Object Oriented Programming, SDLCs, and the like. We presented our stuff, and Steve listened attentively to everyone. But when it came to John, guess what? he ain't listening. He's on his phone, on his EARPHONES even. fucking rude. When John finished, he said, "You didn't present everything." He talked for an hour and a half. His topic has many things. Of course he can't present everything. And that is all you have to say? What about the others then? The others didn't present everything but you didn't complain. Why do you have to humiliate him to everyone else?
Way to demoralize your employee. What a lead. Fucking piece of shit. I am treating John pizza since I can't do anything else for him. It's frustrating. I wouldn't be surprised is John left the company.9 -
The dutch referendum against the new mass surveillance is going to happen and one politician said that he'll continue with it no matter what the outcome is.
We've got a dutch version of john oliver over here (Arjen Lubach).
Man, how he burned that politician into the ground, it was nearly painful to watch! (The video is in dutch though)7 -
John von Neumann once said: "With four parameters I can fit an elephant, and with five I can make him wiggle his trunk."
We took it literally4 -
So, continuing with the story, I decided to quit today.
I'm not even a month there, and I'm running out of there in flames.
I've got 2 panic attacks in one week, I'm not sacrificing my mental health for some idiot's scam.6 -
How to Code...
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”
― John Woods2 -
expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)
(Note: The comments are mine.)
See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).
It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.
Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.
Fuck me these are bad.
And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.18 -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
After 10 years of service the company gives the employee an anniversary party, complete with cake, drinks, etc.
Preparing for a party, HR set the cake in the break-room and left to get the other supplies, in the mean time the IS department manager 'John' walks in, sees the cake and decides to take a slice.
Not a small corner piece you may not notice by smearing the frosting around, but a big piece from the * middle of the cake *.
'Mary' walks in and catches him.
M: "JOHN! The cake is for Eddie's party! Everyone will be here any minute!"
John: "Oh shit!..sorry, let me put it back..."
M: "NO!, you've already eaten some...the cake is ruined!"
<he had icing all over his hands, so he used the cake knife to cut, but used his hands to dig out the slice, so the cake looked pretty tore up>
J:"How was I supposed to know? All I saw was free cake!"
M: "You are on the invite list for Eddie's party! You have 'Happy Anniversary Eddie' on your plate!"
J: "Party isn't until 2:00...<looks at the breakroom clock> oh shit...it's 2"
About that time, several VPs walk in, notice Mary is upset and after finding out, our IS-VP said "John, I'm not happy about this. I want you in my office after the party. You can leave ...now!"
Our IS-VP is almost always emotionless (mostly just happy and in a good mood), it was the first time anyone had seen him this physically angry in years. We don't know how John kept his job.17 -
Hi Dev Ranter,
My name is John Smith and I came accross to your resume on Linked In and I was very impressed. Would you be interested in a 5 min call?
Job Details:
Required skills (all expert levels): C#, JAVA, Clojure, C, PHP, Frontend, Backend, Agile, MVP, Baking, Redis, Apache, IIS, RoR, Angular, React, Vue, MySQL, MSSIS, MSSQL, ORACLE, PostgreSQL, Access, Python, Machine Learning, HTML, CSS, Fortran, C++, Game design, Book writing, PCI - Compliance
Salary: $15/Hours no benefits
Duration: 2 Months (possible extension, plus we can fire you at will)
Place: Remote (with work tracking software)
Hours: 5am - 1pm, 6pm - 11pm
Expect to work on weekends
You will be managing people as well as building applications that had to be running as of yesterday. Team culture is very toxic and no one cares about you.
We care about you though (as long as you deliver)
Looking forward to talk to you.
John Smith
Founder, CEO, Director of Staffing, Entrepeneur
Tech Staffers LLC ( link to a PNG posted on facebook)
Est. 202020 -
Our web department was deploying a fairly large sales campaign (equivalent to a ‘Black Friday’ for us), and the day before, at 4:00PM, one of the devs emails us and asks “Hey, just a heads up, the main sales page takes almost 30 seconds to load. Any chance you could find out why? Thanks!”
We click the URL they sent, and sure enough, 30 seconds on the dot.
Our department manager almost fell out of his chair (a few ‘F’ bombs were thrown).
DBAs sit next door, so he shouts…
Mgr: ”Hey, did you know the new sales page is taking 30 seconds to open!?”
DBA: “Yea, but it’s not the database. Are you just now hearing about this? They have had performance problems for over week now. Our traces show it’s something on their end.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no!”
Mgr tries to get a hold of anyone …no one is answering the phone..so he leaves to find someone…anyone with authority.
4:15 he comes back..
Mgr: “-beep- All the web managers were in a meeting. I had to interrupt and ask if they knew about the performance problem.”
Me: “Oh crap. I assume they didn’t know or they wouldn’t be in a meeting.”
Mgr: “-bleep- no! No one knew. Apparently the only ones who knew were the 3 developers and the DBA!”
Me: “Uh…what exactly do they want us to do?”
Mgr: “The –bleep- if I know!”
Me: “Are there any load tests we could use for the staging servers? Maybe it’s only the developer servers.”
DBA: “No, just those 3 developers testing. They could reproduce the slowness on staging, so no need for the load tests.”
Mgr: “Oh my –bleep-ing God!”
4:30 ..one of the vice presidents comes into our area…
VP: “So, do we know what the problem is? John tells me you guys are fixing the problem.”
Mgr: “No, we just heard about the problem half hour ago. DBAs said the database side is fine and the traces look like the bottleneck is on web side of things.”
VP: “Hmm, no, John said the problem is the caching. Aren’t you responsible for that?”
Mgr: “Uh…um…yea, but I don’t think anyone knows what the problem is yet.”
VP: “Well, get the caching problem fixed as soon as possible. Our sales numbers this year hinge on the deployment tomorrow.”
- VP leaves -
Me: “I looked at the cache, it’s fine. Their traffic is barely a blip. How much do you want to bet they have a bug or a mistyped url in their javascript? A consistent 30 second load time is suspiciously indicative of a timeout somewhere.”
Mgr: “I was thinking the same thing. I’ll have networking run a trace.”
4:45 Networking run their trace, and sure enough, there was some relative path of ‘something’ pointing to a local resource not on development, it was waiting/timing out after 30 seconds. Fixed the path and page loaded instantaneously. Network admin walks over..
NetworkAdmin: “We had no idea they were having problems. If they told us last week, we could have identified the issue. Did anyone else think 30 second load time was a bit suspicious?”
4:50 VP walks in (“John” is the web team manager)..
VP: “John said the caching issue is fixed. Great job everyone.”
Mgr: “It wasn’t the caching, it was a mistyped resource or something in a javascript file.”
VP: “But the caching is fixed? Right? John said it was caching. Anyway, great job everyone. We’re going to have a great day tomorrow!”
VP leaves
NetworkAdmin: “Ouch…you feel that?”
Me: “Feel what?”
NetworkAdmin: “That bus John just threw us under.”
Mgr: “Yea, but I think John just saved 3 jobs. Remember that.”4 -
Shit just got legal
There's the lead dev, I'll call him John. John is not from the US, Europe, or any of those developed countries. The rest of management are from developed countries.
John found himself in the US for personal reasons, on a non-work visa, and his visa will expire soon. In the meantime, management found an opportunity to raise capital in the US, and they want John to be there because it'll look better in the presentation.
John: Oh but that's a month after my visa expires. You'll have to provide me a work visa.
Management was uncomfortable, because we're not registered in the US. and coz they don't wanna spend money.
The French: Don't worry, the US allows you to come in for 3 months without a visa.
The other management seemed to agree with the French. John had to explain that, no, only very few privileged countries have that right, and for the rest the US border is very, very hard to cross, and the visa process takes months. Most US embassies abroad have a year-long waitlist, though you can pay a (hefty) extra fee for it to be expedited. Fucking management was seriously surprised by this.
The Canadian: Don't worry, I own have an apartment in the East Coast. I could give you the keys and you could stay there for this month until the presentation.
So management wants John to stay in the US illegally for a month because they don't wanna pay for a work visa and the expedition fee.17 -
Daily fortune;
Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.1 -
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
John F. Woods
(found this in a demo snippet)6 -
Fuck old farts trying to enslave us by censoring internet,
fuck socialism,
fuck globalization,
fuck cloud services,
fuck city surveillance,
fuck internet surveillance,
fuck RFID that enslaved animals,
fuck IoT constantly looking at our life,
fuck artificial intelligence.
It’s becoming fucking nightmare.
Time to make tools to fight against technology and people that intrude our life with this shit.
Where the fuck is John Connor ?8 -
They finally got him. Couldn't get him on drug charges, couldn't get him on murder, so they fall back on old faithful: tax evasion
https://theverge.com/2020/10/...
Side note: It's hard to find a picture of johnny boy without guns or nsfw material.24 -
PSA.
Bad Managers will, sometimes, abuse imposter syndrome to have you work longer hours. Don't let them.9 -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
The IS department manager 'John' bought a drone (when they first started getting popular, paid over $400 for it), flew it around the office, which was kinda fun, then he took it outside and started peeking in (and recording video) various VPs offices.
Needless to say, that behavior wasn't popular because several/most have their back to the window and never saw the drone and the drone was close enough to see/record their monitors (which John did). No one was doing anything wrong (no porn, no secret company plans, etc), but they were rightfully upset.
Later that day he decided to find out how high he could go and because of the technology at the time, it lost signal or battery power, fell from the sky, and before he could gain control, it crashed (styrofoam wings shattered). Can't say I felt sorry for him.5 -
Only pussies celebrate Christmas today. Real men celebrate the day John Wick killed three men in a bar with a pencil. A fucking pencil.10
-
John: You know, I don't appreciate it when I run the application and it crashes on me. Especially when you say it's working. If you say you've debugged it and got it working, I shouldn't be able to break it in the first 2 minutes.
--------------------------
me: You know John, with all due respect, there are two ways that this can go. Either we can actually work on this project as a team and get something done, or I can leave and have you flounder on your own trying to complete the rest of this project for the next 4 months. Now, I know that you don't have a lot of experience in this framework, so that means you owe me the respect I deserve and not complain about the way things are getting done.
--------------------------
Me: Ok, John, I'll fix it.1 -
It's weird that this is the community where I'd be posting this, however.
After 16 years of smoking, I tried to quit smoking yesterday.
boi oh boi it is hard 😂 but 2nd day smoke free so far.
From past experiences, I'm almost past the hardest part.
I decided to quit with the first day of lent to have a bit of an extra motivation so if you're into prayer, prayers and good whishes are appreciated9 -
User logins testing:
How others name their imaginary users:
Admin
John
Jane
Bob
How I name my imaginary users:
Root (admin)
Alice
Floyd4 -
!dev
TLDR; younger brother is an unreliable fuck. Learning to be a pathetic trickster. Penny teller cheap ass jester.
Hello folks. Time for a little family story.
This started around mid June.
I was a little tight on money the past few months. I had a broken laptop, that my brother wanted to buy. So I told him that he can have it for 100 bucks. It was a 1k gaming laptop 2 years ago, (i7, gtx 960m, 16gb ddr4). But I didn't know how much it would cost to repair. So I was happy with the price and so was him.
He told me he would pay by the end of June.
Hi didn't pay. He repaired the laptop for free by asking his boss, that used to be my friend (I'll probably tell you guys about that in another rant, best friend, got in a fight, stopped talking, next day my brother asked him for a job).
A month later, mid July, I told him I needed the money.
He literally said:
"I don't care for what you need. I'll pay you when I think it is a relevant expense, now I have money only for buying tools and investing in my career".
He was buying 15 usd pens (not only 1), because he wants to have expensive crap.
That was a bit disgusting, but not shocking. (I'm used to his little brat attitude, he's 26 btw).
I thought to myself. Ok, you want to be a bitch?. Then pay more.
I told him that he appreciated a good that wasn't his and that he should either pay now or agree to a new price. He didn't like that idea, but eventually we agreed to make it 300usd.
And one of the clauses was.
"I shouldn't ask him to pay." 🙄
He would pay when he could. (entitled brat attitude again). Ok. Fine.
It's been a month from that. He teased that he would pay 3 weeks ago. And he didn't. I asked him how was the "not asking for payment clause", because he did the teasing and I wanted to know if that kind of shitty mind games was part of the deal.
So that's the background story for the laptop.
Now time for a dinner story.
We share dinner once or twice a week. And when any one is short in money we keep a tally on who's been paying.
When I have money I just let the tally go in my favor, an buy him dinner whenever he says his short on money.
Note: Here, fries and soda are not part of the price, so the one that is short on money pays the fries and soda.
Today it was not one of those days. (Dinner here is about 15 USD for 2, with fries, and soda, nothing fancy, nor healthy, but an exuse to hang out with my only brother that would not eat a salad even if it was free).
I owed him 10 bucks, and he owed me 1 dinner. I asked him if he's buying dinner today. He said that the tally is even because last meal I didn't pay the chips. 🧐. (That was settled because I didn't pay once, but made up for it later)
Again with his entitled ass shitty attitude.
I just said. I don't want to hear your excuses. Here's your money. I want my laptop tomorrow, I'll sell first thing Monday. And tell me how much did you spend on repairs and parts and I'll pay you.
And now I'm sad. 🙃
Mainly, because is just so fucking boring to deal with a person that counts every penny. I fed him for 10 year while he was having problems, (alcohol and depression), And now he comes with this shitty ass counting pennies attitude, wtf?
I literally felt poorer just by counting the cents that made part of this story. (Really, who the fucks keeps track of chips and soda??? What are we 15yo??)))
It's one thing to be trapped in a 3rd world country where everyone is trying to fuck you. You learn to deal with that shit. And it's ok.
But seeing that your little brother is learning the same cheap trickery is just sad. The same cheap approach to life. The same easy and pathetic mind games is just fucking sad.
I don't even mind the money anymore. I was short on cash 2 months ago, I'm gladly better now. But finding out that he's becoming a little scammer is a bummer.
I just needed to vent. I think I should stop enabling him. And maybe keep some distance, it is fucking depressing to be counting cents to settle an argument. By dealing with that fucktard I end up counting cents just to figure out who's right.10 -
Funny programmer fantasy porn titles.
Add your 2 cents.
I'll start with.
Naive user needs hot reloading for her frontend.
Boss GF wants you to fix her backend.
Go!23 -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
The IS department manager 'John' bought a blowgun and was shooting at a box down the cubical farm hallway. Only a little annoying to hear him puff on the tube, but then someone walked out their cube and almost got hit.
Dev: "Dammit John! What the hell are you doing?!"
John: "Maybe you should pay the hell attention to where you're going. You heard what I was doing. Don't be a baby, those darts wouldn't have hurt you anyway."
I've attached a pic of what the darts looked like.4 -
One of our devs seems to love "attribution" comments in anything he writes.
private void foo() { //Author: John Cribbins
...public static final int FOO_BAR = 21; //Author: John Cribbins
I mean, I get it for an author tag at the top of a file, but certainly not on every field or method. Is this some kind of weird thing newer devs are encouraged to do these days?!9 -
I have this amazing idea, said John
I ask John about this amazing idea.
John goes on to say that it will change the world and solve world hunger.
I ask him again, what's your idea?
John says my idea is to 'solve world hunger'! AMAZING RIGHT?
now now John, so you're gonna do it like (provide a few solutions)..
John says yeah that was exactly what my idea was (ah. Fuck you)
So John now is under the delusion that he can solve world hunger and the steps to do it came from his own ostrich-brained imagination...
Tiny fuck doesn't even realize the fact that he plagiarized.
Now we look into the future where I ask John honestly that he should come up with his own idea to solve world hunger and not use mine.
JOHN GETS ANGRY
John asks 'do you actually think that was your idea? We were brainstorming man, I told you we had to solve world hunger and only because of my voice did I spark that idea in you, I created that idea man'
So, well since he's plagiarized so much I told him that I had this plan to perform a hunger strike in the grand Canyon to get some attention..
Fidgety little bitch found another idea to steal and he was like good idea!! I'm booking my flight to the Grand Canyon now!
What bout me I ask? He says man take some rest let me face the pressure (and the glory apparently)
Well, John did not return.
Poor stupid John did not realize that I had been joking and got his little ass fired under the direct sun in the grand canyon
Moral of the story :
I WILL DESTROY YOUR HOMES AND YOUR LIVES PLAGIARISTS, I WILL EXTERMINATE YOU *cough**cough*
Damn that Sulphur hexafluoride actually worked!8 -
Tooday
Movie sucks
Games sucks
Most programmers sucks
Buying a house sucks
Try to get a grocery under 200$ for nothing sucks
Have child with no future other then capitalisme sucks
Friends that don't take any news in 8 years sucks
Have a girlfriend that don't sucks sucks
Buying pricey shit and thinking i will survive at least 10 years and broke after 3 years with warranty sucks
All social platforms sucks ( other then devrant)
Working for a shit salairy and doing everyone jobs sucks
Lossing mind about idiots in our world sucks
My english sucks
You sucks
My water heater sucks
My landlord sucks
My budget sucks
My old 16 years old bike i use to go work sucks
Government sucks
House builder sucks at 80%
Bank fuck you everytime sucks
Taxes for any service sucks
Medical system in canada sucks
Educational system in canada sucks
Goes on each day i realize something sucks...12 -
Inappropriate experience at work? All very old experiences, this is one of many:
The IS department manager 'John' would poke is butt in a cubicle, fart, walk away laughing and/or say "That'll wake you up".1 -
"People are very attached to the idea that there’s one right way, one right tool, or one right framework. If only."
-- John Arundel3 -
So, packing up and leaving this hell hole.
In the end I just said that I had 2 panic attacks in the last week, and that I am leaving for medical reasons.3 -
Part 3: today has become a blog post.
WARNING: this is loooooooooooong
Background is my boss and I were talking about hiring the right people, also generalists vs specialists.
Essentially John and I are the specialists. When something goes wrong it ends up escalating to either him or me. But this is not sustainable as I can't handle the stress and most likely he eventually won't either.
And this goes back to general hiring standards.
All the good people leave and the remaining ones are stuck with all the problems and eventually for one reason or another they leave as well... or the code keeps getting worse... until someone decides to scrap everything and build a new one... But now the only people left to lead teams are monkeys.
Now current problem is the only person that can replace me is John and the only person that can replace John, at least in handling issues, is me...
It's a certain type of person, people that have a growth mindset and can pick things up.
Google and strong tech companies are full of these types of people where if needed there's always someone that can step in and help. They have the background and the ability to quickly learn. This also lets them innovate and identify and solve new problems.
I think that's what the technical interviews are for, to find these types of people.
And you really can't train this. I'm not sure how effective our "new" training program on high quality development is but I'm guessing it's not. Excellence has to be in the culture and it's not something that can be built overnight or by randomly hiring people.
So in a sense, tech companies aren't really paying well, they're paying cost to what their hires are really worth, after they've verified it, and enough to keep them from leaving.3 -
Whenever someone leaves their computer unlocked (and if they're using Chrome/Chromium), one of us will install the Cenafy plugin. It has a 1 in 100 chance of redirecting you to a site that plays the John Cena theme any time you load a new page. Trouble is, the tune is so damn addictive I spend the rest of the day humming it.3
-
On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================
Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.2 -
Internship Company employee: Hey, we need 600 images uploaded to a wordpress site, you'll have to do that for me.
Me: Alrightyy, can you give me some FTP or SSH access or something?
Employee: Nope, not allowed to.
Me: Uhm, I could write a shell script and run it?
Employee: The server is windows....
Me: Mother of god, I'll have to do it manually then?
Employee: You could ask John (my technical guider, not his real name) if you can borrow some fellow interns!
Me: *walks to John* Hey man, can I borrow some interns?
John: What for?
Me: Manually uploading 600 images to posts :).
Interns: *looking at me with a deadly view*
John: Sure!
Interns:3 -
"If you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don’t need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on and the dedication to go through with it. " - John Carmack1
-
Boss: Happy Friday!!!!!!
Boss: okay with that out the way get to fuckin work...
Me: John(Boss’s name).....
Boss: hmmm??
Me: I hate you, happy Friday4 -
At my first job, our employee email addresses followed a somewhat unusual naming convention: last name plus first initial, e.g. smithj@company.com for John Smith.
They were ultimately forced to change it, though, when they received a complaint from a new employee. His name? Tommy Shi...6 -
Startup rant ---
John and Bob joined a startup at the same day but they were in two different offices.
John joined the US office while Bob joined the European office (let's not share the country here ;) )
Both of them worked really hard, they worked longer hours, showed result and helped the startup to reach and get Serie A funds.
That seems good no? But let's step back, John was promoted twice and get more perks while Bob got only a salary raise that aligned him with the current market.
There are different reasons for this but the most important one is that the company is having two different cultures for the two offices.
What's funny here is that Bob effort is well known across the two offices and his contribution has made a huge difference to the company but unfortunately he wasn't rewarded for it.
So Bob opened a new window not in his office but in his browser to find better opportunities.4 -
!dev
Whoever the fuck wit coded the entire system for the university/college application information portal over here in my country needs to be hung, shot, hung again and shot.
It's **ABSOLUTE FUCKING GARBAGE** on the design. First we have the search box. It literally takes a good 20 seconds to query 1000 entries at low traffic and 3 MINUTES at high traffic. Bad enough? Because it would also take that long to give you a table of search result which is, I shit you not, identical to the drop-down results you get while typing except rendered inside a <table></table> with some overlay!
Oh, did I mention it didn't have partial match? Yea, IT DIDN'T. For example, "John Hurr Doe City" would not match "John Hurr Doe city" just to piss you off. And then we have the fuckers that do this:
- University A John Hurr Doe city
- University B JHD City
- University C JHD city
That and no partial match. Yea. It's BS.
Also. if you wanna search again after view a school, you have to press "Back", the physical "Back" of the browser. Fair, it's good, but if you press anything other than that button, welll, you're fucked although lightly.
The cherry on top of the rant cone? The whole thing is made by the studentfucking Ministry of Education and Training, the mother of overlord of students. Yea. The fucking Ministry itself. Really. You wanna go "catch up with the world and master the 4.0 Industrial Revolution" and yet you can't fucking code the site properly. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your horse you're riding and probably fuck you as well.
Sorry for getting slightly political at the end, the damn page is getting on my nerve. -
Inappropriate experience at work? Here is another one:
The IS department manager 'John' loved shelled peanuts, but hated cleaning them up. By the end of the day his desk and surrounding area were covered in peanut shells (he never bothered trying to put the shells in the trash can). He didn't seem to care because the maintenance crew would clean up the office every night and he would come in to a clean area every day.
That was until the company owner's wife was making the rounds one day and saw his mess. The shells hit the fan. The 'beat down' occurred at EOD, so most didn't witness it, but she lit him up. Almost screaming that he's a grown man and the maintenance crew have enough to do without cleaning up after him...etc..etc.
John never ate peanuts at his desk again. -
After working on 7 projects last year with 7 different groups and learning to "flow like water", I don't feel the urge to rant anymore. There are always going to be all kinds of weird scenes, cheap clients, incompetent coworkers, people that pretend to know something when they actually know shit. All of those are just tests life is presenting you to make you learn to be peaceful and tolerant.
The world is broken, accept it, and allow yourself to be an ordinary human being, you'll be free and happier. Stuff like the law of attraction does exist. Just learn to be happy and grateful for what you get and you'll get a ton more reasons to be happy and grateful9 -
Sent my changes before everybody for code review, got git blocked because today was demo day, and ... And asshole guy merged his own PR without code review. That conflicted with my PR. I am going to start posting the shennanigans of asshole guy from now on, just to have a record of his stupidity.10
-
When a coworker repeatedly alters GIT to include log files that only break the shit out of everything. That's fine, I like reverting production on a daily basis.
Thanks 1,000,000 John.
Enjoy your cocktails while I lay under the vending machine, you piece of shit.2 -
Just found an interface in an app of my company that uses the best of both worlds: csv AND xml 🤦🏻♂️
<Name>John;<Lastname>Doe;
🤣1 -
Me: I feel like JavaScript has buyer's remorse because all day you return, return, return things.
John: That's how you know it's functioning. -
So here's is the thing.
For some weird reason I decided to work at a VC funded startup. For 15k year,(I live in a really poor country).
So, let me describe the hell I'm in now, and if for some good grace you happen to be hiring, please consider saving me from the horror that's ahead.
Company got funded 5 months ago, main owners are, an economist and a civil engineer with no programming habilities whatsoever.
They took 1 month to assemble "a killer team", with no hiring expertise they handpicked a CTO that came in 1 month later and took a month of vacation in his first month of work.
He didn't do any specification of the system that needs to be built.
The 2 naive owners hired the rest of this "killer team".
The team is good, but have no appreciation of planning.
They've built and rebuilt the backend system twice, once in graphql and the second with plain http (is not real rest, just a http api), in front of, guess what a mongo database.
This mongo DB is not only one, but 7, because we have 7 microservices, and each has its own database.
After some time, they decided to fire their CTO, and hire one more programmer(that's me), because the CTO wasn't doing anything.
The app has 3 parts, the app per se, a business version, and a help desk, guess what the helpdesk just appeared last week on the radar.
Long story short, we have one month to deliver what couldn't be built in 5.
When I decided to work for these people, I did not imagine the kind of clusterfuck that I was getting into.
It took me 1 month to realize the whole situation, now, I really would like to see some help from the deities of any religion, not for the project, that project is doomed.
It's how I'll pay the bills after that clusterfuck collapses that worries me.
Now in the startup no one is talking about how stupid the whole situation is. Or how far back we are. And at this point there's very little that could be done about it, I have a feeling that it could still be accomplished, but it's fading day after day.
I will do my best to live the best of this experience, and do as the musicians in the Titanic and keep playing the music even after knowing the Titanic is sinking.4 -
Shiieet ... I lost my appetite to learn new things and technology 😐😔 this pendemic need to stop asap.5
-
Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.
I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.
Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.
Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?
This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.5 -
I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.7
-
Unless you're editing actual fucking JSON and not a JS object, do this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345',
}
Not this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345'
}
Note the presence or lack of a comma after the last field. In this way, when you add a new field, you only have one line change in version control, because otherwise you'd have to add that no-longer-last comma and thus make two line changes. Not to mention you can forget to add it and spend some time figuring out what is wrong.30 -
there has to be a special place in hell for people who don't set their mobile phones to vibration while in office.
no john, latest tv show theme song as ringtone is not going to make you cool. you are just disturbing others.
something i (we) don't have to face in remote work. multiple folks around my seat had their ringer on.9 -
When I told John our newest colleague “I understand your frustration but you need to calm down because collaboration is key”
John:
Okay okay okay, I get it. Collaboration is key and all, but these meetings freaking killing me. We need a better balance, where we can have effective meetings that actually drive progress without sacrificing our precious coding mojo.
At the end of the day, I just wanna do what I’m f*ckin paid for. But these damn meetings are killing my vibe, and it's downright frustrating. Can't we just get back to the good ol' days of actually getting sh*t done!
{Bro is in for a long ride}2 -
I don't want to hear about Java, JPA, JSP, Json or John ever again or i will have a mental breakdown10
-
When your on the toilet and come across a tech video you want to watch but can't because of the audio. It would be weird... need to start taking headphones to the john.1
-
!dev :(
I am cleaning, disinfecting, bagging and sealing produce and deliver it in survival packs so people don't need to get out of their houses.
The country is in total lockdown, people are strongly encouraged to stay at home.
Bars, social activities and whatnot are closed.
Only excuse to be outside is to be buying groceries or going to the hospital.
Supermarkets only allow 1 person per household, so.3 -
You want oracle database ? Load OCI.dll
You want microsoft SQl ? Load sqlsrv.dll et dotnet.dll
You want mysql ? Its already install
xD why the project have 3 different database :O with less then 2 table each !!! Ffuuuuukkkkkk7 -
Please stop calling calling rest to any json over http api. That's not rest, rest has its specifics details to be called rest.11
-
Oops, looks like "Benedict Cumberbatch" just broke your unrealistic design specs and spotlights your non-inclusive cognitive bias, designer. Maybe stop using "John Smith" as mock design data for users' names and design things for real people.
Developers should not be paying down your design debts. Fix this!
Sincerely, the UI developer doing your job6 -
I don't, I know I'm exactly where I belong.
But it took some time 🤣, about 12 years of soul searching.
So, good luck! 🤣🤣🤣🤣4 -
John Cena : You can't see me !
A frustrated coder : No problem , I'll Java you. I'll Java you until I make sure you are portable , WWE-oriented and ofc .. visible . Say hi to Nikki . -
I had to write a script to clean some crap from a database.
In particular it had some records containing multiple names and I had to split them.
It was really a nightmare because the separator was not always the same, e.g. "John, Mark and Bob" or "Alice+Mary".
«Ok, let's use a fucking regex: ",|(and)|\\+|/|&"»
Then, I realized there were some "Alessandro" in the database. Yeah, Aless(and)ro. Shit.
So I had eventually added more crap into the database.6 -
The name of the inventor of the Li-Ion battery is John Goodenough and I think it’s beautiful. His name truly resembles the exact concept of what a lithium rechargeable battery really is.
-
A request:
"Hello, John! How are you today? Listen, if you have 15 minutes today - could you please do something for me? I need you to compare the results of test runs 1111 and 2222. Thank you!"
- How normal people read it:
* reads every word*
a grammar nazi takes a few minutes to look up whether the dash was the right symbol to use in this context.
appreciates the politeness
appreciates the personal touch (John, How are you)
- How a programmer reads it
".*compare\s.*(test|run).*\s(\\d{2,}).*\s(\\d{2,})\s*.*"
I would post this post as a joke/meme if it were one. Unfortunately, this is usually the case and devs, like regexes, sometimes tend to miss some important detail in the .* part.4 -
So I'm called down to the office the other day for a meeting, I get there and my boss says "hi this is John Doe he has applied for the developer role, can you give him the technical interview" had no time to prep, my boss didn't even give me a copy of his CV2
-
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
-
Today a tester returned my task because “placeholder should say Bruse Wayne not John Doe”.
Yes, Bruse, not Bruce.
Too bad I’m leaving John Doe there and close it anyways5 -
I actually made a friend on gitter. We were regulars in a few channels, we started talking. Then we paired for some projects, he would help when I was stuck and vice versa. I ended up traveling 9000 miles to meet him and he took me to party for 2 weeks straight. That was fun.
-
I don't really have one favorite programmer, there are many. I'll just add one to the list:
John Carmack -
"Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half." - John Wanamaker1
-
If you want to set off and go develop some grand new thing, you don’t need millions of dollars of capitalization. You need enough pizza and Diet Coke to stick in your refrigerator, a cheap PC to work on and the dedication to go through with it. ~John Carmack3
-
Best rants in movies, my top list.
John Malkovich - Burn After Reading
Bank Account: https://youtube.com/watch/...
League of morons https://youtube.com/watch/...
Michael Douglas - Falling Down - actually all the movie is a big rant, too many scenes, just this:
I want breakfast: https://youtube.com/watch/...
John Goodman - The Big Lebowsky
There are rules https://youtube.com/watch/...
Al Pacino - Devil's advocate
God: https://youtube.com/watch/...3 -
Think in the Design of iPhone 11 John Ive was absent; this was Tom (Cook)'s idea and inspiration 😆😆😆😆1
-
I hate the tech influencers that talk about clown strike and they obviously have no idea what they’re talking about go watch John Hammond before talking about what cnn said you assfuck
Y’know what maybe I just hate tech influencers10 -
!dev
At my current work (sports wear bla bla bla) we recently had couple of brands come by (136people) and had a presentation. One of the market lead peps stood and talked about future plans and projects in the following:
👨🏻💼MarketGuy: "we want to improve the e-shop service and direct booking system. Think about it, AI, machine learning and deep network, these are all out there and we should consider working with it!"
👨🏻Me: ... *Thinking* "buzzwords, buzzwords everywhere.. dude you don't even know how to excel..
👨🏻💼: *Continues babbling about website, Blockchain and AI together with sportswear and the future of working together*
MAH GAAAD (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻
I need a coffee.. ☕2 -
"When it comes to writing code, the number one most important skill is how to keep a tangle of features from collapsing under the weight of its own complexity." - John D. Cook
-
Alex St John who created the DirectX tech for Microsoft shared some slides on how to recruit developers and keep them happy, this slide particularly stood out. How true is this?
-
How to Stop #war in #ukraine and #russia? Easy. Just burn a big bush of #cannabis / #weed to the atmosphere, you will see both sides are high AF.
Maybe they both will get high instead of war.
I am John Melody, I want to represent you.1 -
I've been trying to add a click listener to this image of john cena but I keep getting a NullPointerException, somebody help!!!!12
-
Due to resource scarcity, my manager Bob had lent me to other manager John. I started working on John's project and now there is a hardcore dependency on me, as I have done good enough work on it. I was also taking some small work items from Bob parallely so I can be up-to-date with my own team, Later Bob calls me and says he wants me back, since my own team has lot of pending tasks. John's project is still unfinished and will take longer then ever. So far, I am dividing my time between the two teams.
My concern is if I pass on John's project, will I even get recognized for it and since John will have no one concrete to work on his project, he will later keep bugging me for help.
And I feel like I don't belong to either of the teams (I am like a step son to both my parents) 😔1 -
I don’t really have just one.
Ada Lovelace, she is the reason we have everything and she is the OG
Margaret Hamilton is badass and got Apolo 11 to the moon
Steve Wozniak, the real brains behind OG Apple. And his tech revolutionized computers. Plus have you ever just watched a video of him he’s so fucking pure and innocent. Like holy fuck he’s awesome and just hella intelligent.
John Romero + John Carmack. Two of the programmers on the original DOOM dev team. The team revolutionized the gaming industry and
Katie Bouman, just got added to the list for the black hole picture -
When the „Senior“ of your colleague only stands for this
- knowledge of ancient technologies and practices
- Speed of a pensioner
- ability to learn like a dementia
- John snow knows more about coding the he does
This is not the senior you are looking for3 -
Why the hell people add me on LinkedIn for like no reason? Why do people do that?
I mean, "John Doe wants to connect". Ok, let's see, maybe I know him... "John Doe, Chemical Engineer living in Argentina"
WTH man? I don't know you, I don't work with chemicals, I don't live near Argentina, and we do not have anyone in common!
Unless you're a recruiter; if I don't know you and you don't specify why you wanna connect with me, I'll ignore your request.1 -
So I got an offer to do part time on a project that was mismanaged for two years.
After hearing the comments about how ugly the code base was.
I took it. So now I'll have something to rant here. 🤣7 -
Why printer services is stuck in time?
The windows printer spooler is old like my grandma. He fuck all the time but nobody wants to recode it ? I need to search for old driver a day long to make it fucking work at 10%
On linux generic printer driver do the job but cannot do all the things you want
Why is so fucking complicated all the time ? ( Don't think that scanner work you don't have de correct driver )
Solutions printer share the code for how de fuck i work ?2 -
What is your greatest weakness?
My greatest weakness is that I don't trust people enough to let them know how the can leverage me by telling them my weaknesses.5 -
I never liked YAML. But lately, I'm starting to dislike it more and more.
I mean, wtf is that?
- digest YAML input -- a valid YAML
- digest JSON input -- a valid YAML
A language that embeds another language.
Can it be any more confusing..?
Sure it can. the
```
script:
- echo "John said: hello there"
```
will fail YAML linter, because, even though I used quotes, yaml sees `echo "John said` as an object key
I think I'm yet to find more nonsense with YAML. And eventually, I'll grow to hate it.8 -
Stakeholder: We have users who are putting like “John and Mary” on their membership’s first name field. Can we restrict that field so they can’t do that?
Me: But what if that user does identify as “John and Mary”?
Besides, what’s to stop any user from taking out the “and” and making it “John Mary” so they can get around input validation for words like “and”?9 -
1. Think about it.
2. Get super hyped.
3. Tell everyone.
4. Go to step 1.
5. Plan it
6. Execute
7. Profit.3 -
Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.
She: again this is not the same size
Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml -
Today ... Like other day i wake up. And go satisfy all the need of my client in the chat .. and remove what i made and unmade and made and unmade and made and change color and more at left and more at top add padding bottom and unmade and made and save and clear cache and unmade and clear cache and made and change color.
You see the shiti pattern now
😒😒😒😒😔😔😔😔😑2 -
At job
Im ready to work on a new web site.
Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content... Wait for content
You have 3 week to do it completely
🤔🤪2 -
website: fill in all fields
user: john doe
kill blood, texas, 751454, usa
me: when the website says street name, we meant the name of your faking street! -
name: ash williams
weapon of choice: chainsaw hand
name: john rambo
weapon of choice: heavy machine gun
name: kiki
weapon of choice: teleport behind you, create a door leading who knows where, drag you in, close the door shut, make it disappear into nowhere4 -
Thanks thanks thanks devrant to not add theses useless story bubble shit in your apps like every other one7
-
!rant
So, when I was young, I wanted to be a freelancing nomad. You know, live the live, work remote and travel.
But I didn't have the bones to pursue that. After 10 years of struggling as a normal "programmer", I did a little of everything. I did normal boring "erp maintenance" in C#, Oracle and some legacy stuff called Visual WEB GUI , which was fun, but required a full 9,5 hours work day, 8:00 am to 6:30pm, and the bosses where squares, and I was young and wanted to try something out of the corporate world.
Then I did some work for a newly funded consulting company that used python, Django, and postgresql, but the bosses promised a lot and delivered none, (I was supposed to work backend and have frontend support, which I did not have, and that hurt my productivity and bosses instead of looking at what they promised but did not deliver, they just discounted my salary 3 months in a row, so Bye bye MFs!!
Then I did some remote work for some guys, that, I managed to sustain for a whole year, the pay was good, the stack was simple, just node.js and pug templates, that gig was good, but communication with the bosses was hard, and eventually things started to get hard for them and me, and we had to say farewell to each other, I miss those guys. This is the only time I remember having fun working, I could work whenever I wanted, I only had to reach the weekly goals, and then my time was mine, I could work from home in the odd hours, or rent a chair in a co working space if I wanted to socialize.
Then fate got me one big gig with a multinational company, and I could hire some people, but I delegated too much and was asking too little of myself, and that project eventually died because I did not know how to negotiate.
So, I quit the whole entrepreneur idea, and got a public job at my University, I was a public employee with all the perks, but none of the fun, I just had to clock-in, work, and clock-out. That experience led me to discover a lot of myself, I worked as a public employee for a year and a half, and in that time, I discovered more about myself than what I learnt in 27 years of previous life experience.
Then, I grew bored of that life, and wanted some action, and I found more than enough fun in a VC funded startup ran by young narcissists that did not have a clue of what they were doing, I helped them organize themselves into "closing stuff", you know, finish the things you say you have finished. Just to give you an idea of what it was like before I got there, the were working for 3 months already on this project, they had on paper 50% of the system done and working, when I tried to use the app, I couldn't even sign-up without hacking some database commands, (this was supposedly done). So I spent a month there teaching these guys how to finish stuff, they got, Sign Up, (their sign up was a mess, it is one of those KYC rich things, that financial apps have), Login, and some core functionality working in a month, while in the previous 4 months they only did parallel work, writing endpoints that were not tried, and an app that did not communicate with the backend. But the bosses weren't happy with me, because I told them time and time again that we were not going to reach the goal they needed to reach to keep receiving funds from the investors, and I had to quit before it became a mayhem of toxic employer/employee relationship.
So now I decided to re-engage with life, I have funds to survive about a month and half, I have a good line of credit in case I need some more funds, and the time of the world.
So wish me luck!!! And I'll be posting often, because I would like opinions, hear from people with similar life experiences and share anecdotes.
Next post, it's going to be about how I discovered taskwarrior, and how implemented my first weekend following some of the aspects of GTD to do all my housekeeping chores, because, I think that organizing myself will be key to survive as a freelancer nomad. -
On today's episode of... The shit people will try to pull off to get you work longer hours.
Guilt tripping.
I mean, seriously? That one can be smelled from miles away and it is obviously a clear red flag that you're a manipulative person.
Why would you even try it? Have some respect for yourself.3 -
Probably a cook or a chef, I like the kitchen and cooking in general.
Maybe owning a small barbacue joint somewhere not so remote, like a route stop near some touristic place.2 -
the moment when we made a Miami Vice inspired Rambo parody game with John Rasta ninja fighting Federal Agent Man to save his uncle from arrest because he possessed some sacred herbs. This was a school project... never got to know if our teacher got the hidden message or not...
-
My fellow devs how many unfinished projects do y'all have I just took a look and I said to myself "John that's a shit ton of stuff you left, to start a shit ton of stuff you'll never finish".
-
Hi people first as you know my English is not very poor im sorry for that.
I try to make an automat a sprinkle water and a auto light on a interior garden in aquarium.
For that in python i use main thread, a class Water.py extends Threading and Light.py extends Threading
In the __init__.py file i put my main function that get argv for execution. One of my arguments is -v (--verbose)
I want to pass that args to my class instances.
-I don't want to make one parameter in my constructors because I think we don't passe verbose mode in parameter of constructor.
-I use global not working through de import.
Do you have some magic for me :/ ?6 -
New update available on your phone...
Wait people to teste it before installing. It look stable, ok i will install it
After the update
Fucking shit the clock is on the left side 🤮 what the fuck is this shit android... The settings menu is now a ducking mess. The finger print scan is so slow i can cooke an egg before he unlock the phone. The multi tasking screen is like iphone and look like a garbedge. Some applications rushing running.3 -
"If all else fails, [working harder than anyone else] is the greatest competitive advantage of any career." - John C Jay
-
"The control which designers know in the print medium, and often desire in the web medium, is simply a function of the limitation of the printed page. We should embrace the fact that the web doesn’t have the same constraints, and design for this flexibility. But first, we must 'accept the ebb and flow of things.'" - John Allsopp1
-
My boss don't give me any information about the project in 2 months ... Then the application need to run in 1 week ... Im the only developers in this faculty .. suprise ! I said to him the project cannot be delivered in such small time ...
Boss : but you having so mutch time to do it !
me: but you tell me to fix some PC screen and printer and is not my job to do that im a programmer.
Boss: but you have certification in programmation and tech support
Me: yes but you hire me to code your project not to fix your forest !
Boss: if you don't want to work just say it
Me: never mind ...
Results: i change faculty in the university -
R.I.P John Doe
He made the mistake of writing unmaintainable code then leaving the team.
I just heard of his passing.
He was brutally beaten to death by the new maintainer. Now the maintainer is behind bars.
And now I've been asked to maintain it.
R.I.P Me as well I guess
Joke of course.6 -
Cunts I want to punch in the face: (in order of priority, grouped by similarity.)
1. Anyone who uses the words 'doggo' or 'pupper'.
2. Rapists, masogynists, Scientologists.
3. Anyone with news about their latest Linux distro.
4. Kanye West, Fred West, John West.
5. Trump, Maybot, Bojo.
6. Friends of Trump, Maybot, Bojo.
7. Kevin Bacon (since the EE ads)
8. That child on the bus.
9. The parents of that child on the bus.
10. Anybody who disagrees with any item on this list.15 -
I just think about it ...
Running docker on windows is shit
Running nginix on windows is boofff
Running apache on windows is boofff
Running WWS on windows is hugly
Install linux
All server software run like king
Don't have access to any adobe product for design and micro$hit office for client sanity because ODF is to special, i want my docx i said ... Like what do you want from me ... Shit the dev setup is a fucking mess because some enterprises don't want to wet itself in the futur...
Microsoft love linux BULLSHIT6 -
It's funny how alcohol actually makes you remember all the crazy shit you had to deal with.
As when I was a junior c# programmer at an ERP shop.
I was new, naive and full of energy.
I used to dive deep into the code base, and one of the things I noticed but didn't pay too much attention was.
Error stacks were usually meaningless.
And why was that?
First, well it was c#.
Second, the guys use to do this.
try {
ThrowingFunction();
} catch (Exception e ) {
throw e;
}
PS: I'm not doing c# anymore, that was 10 years ago. So syntax might be a bit off.8 -
At the office
5 website is down !
Searching for answer ... Noting. Nginx is calm, php is calm, DB to many connections :O but the DB is interne acces only !!!
Internal ddos WTF
Drupal 8 website -> sorry guy i just fucked up and write 8Go of useless log in watchdog table because something went wrong
Actual log : %errormessage %errortime %vardump
Me : damm he fucked up and cannot write some complet log 🤣
Do you know some module to limit this table size and write acces ?2 -
You Give Rest a Bad Name!!
By
Dylan Beattie
A parody of 'You Give Love a Bad Name' - about hypermedia APIs. No, really.
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
Ultimate email signature haiku:
Thank you very much,
I'm looking forward to it,
You are the greatest,
John1 -
Am I the asshole?.
AITA for having a grin, when comes demo time and my stuff works flawlessly and every other monkey coder that I work with has his/her stuff pointed out as flawed for going all fast and furious?8 -
I have quite a few but I'll try to narrow it down.
Micheal Reeves
John Carmack
John Romero
Steve Wozniak
Ken Thompson
Brian Kernighan -
When your code won't fucking work ... Its because you need light chacra reset with a light worker for only 70$ 😆 wtf messenger shut the fuckup2
-
Good Morning Folks!!!
I haven't been posting in a while, besides the fact that I went thru a crazy psychiatric crisis 6 weeks ago, there have not been much news to share here.
Now, recovering and working again luckily, I have to face again the stupid pointy haired boss.
So, this fucker asked me for an estimation to build a simple web app.
He: Hey, can you make an estimation for this app
Me: sure, here it is.
He: *to the client*, here's the estimation for the web app you requested
Client: Uhmm, can I haz desktop for winbug$??
He: Let me check with dev
Me: Sure why not, we can do F# using MVU which is basically the same as using modern web frameworks
He: Sure, I'll tell that to the client.
Client: Oooohhh, C#, we lovez C#, can I haz discount?
He: Client wants discount to make it in C#.
Me: Oh, you can give him a discount to make it in F#, I never said C#
He: But your cv says you used C# ten years ago.
Me: Sure, but is not keeping up with functional design patterns, which is what I do.
He: Ok, so I'm offering him the discount in F#
Me: Great.
He: So, project is approved, thanks for the discount, you have 3 weeks to present the product in C#.
Me: Sure, I'll start when I get the downpayment.
Me: I'm considering saying that I didn't understand that he wanted it in C#, and just do F# and not let him know until the project is done.
Thoughts??8 -
Windows : fuck you i delete your KMS file
Windose : your licence is expiring in 30 days
Me: re apply KMS and disable that fucking useless anti virus
Window just self permit to delete my file with no fucking reason and not notify me in is shiti settings panel1 -
Let me just say that I've been playing whack a mole with a new feature for while now. And it's becoming very tiring.
TLDR; CTO is changing the way we're going to implement this, every other day.
June 1st,
CEO: let's implement feature AAA,
CTO: we're going to have a call with Andy to tell us all about his product that will make this super easy, call will be June 4th.
Days before June 4th,
Me: Researchs product X, makes demo works flawlessly.
June 4th,
Call all good, few tips from Andy. We come to the pricing section of Product X
CTO: this will not work, pricing doesn't fit on our budget, fair enough.
June 7th -11th
Me: research altenative approach. Makes second demo.
CTO: Works good, seems to have too many moving parts, let's have call with Bob to check Product Y. It should make our lifes easier.
ME: Geee, ok let's check it out.
June 14th,
Call with Bob, all good, product has a fair price, stuff is experimental.
CTO: let's use Product Y, and just use what we get from their api now, and worry about changes later.
Me: Hmmm, that's a bit risky, but ok, you the boss, right?, starts again new demo. API doesn't work as documented.
Lots of trial and error to figure out how the api is working now, finally demo works well,
June 17th,
API changed, now it works as documented, (expected as it is experimental), previous demo doesn't work anymore.
June 18th,
Redoing research. inputs are completely different from Product Y now, need to redo all that is working and do and a lot more of research.
Go live is scheduled for end of next week, I hope that the API is stable now, and that I get to go live on schedule.
It is funny to see, that it would probably been the same if we just waited on the API to stabilize, and check the pricing section before choosing a product? Who knows.
Anyways, I actually feel happy that over the years I developed the patience to work with ever changing situations like this one.4 -
My wife and I have a dispute that goes on for two years already — who's the hottest member of Red Hot Chili Peppers, current or previous. I say John Frusciante, she says Flea.6
-
I started asking to get draft templates in German language. So at least we'll know what the site will look like what when text is very long and customers are called "Sebastian Wiedenmann" instead of "John Doe".
Remember English is a very concise language and you always get bad CSS surprises when applying translations.random english css template internationalization internationalisation international i18n localisation localization german l10n2 -
Coinbase is a miserable clock sucker...
You can't understand that your stupid app doesnt split sir names during ID verification? A month of playing ring around the support email bot... "Try updating chrome!"...
Go duck yourself,
John S Jr. Smith6 -
On my list:
* John Romero (id Software)
* Yukihiro Matsumoto (Ruby programming language)
* Donald Knuth (LaTeX)
* Gosuke Myashita (serverspec)
* Johan de Wit (puppet guru and my personal sensei that taught me a lot of things and also a good friend I cherish)2 -
All facebook group about web development is
- can you help me with my wordpress site
- how i can change my domaine name
- need help with e-commerce on wordpress
And other
Im there to follow new web technologies not to be a support guy jessus .
Quit the group2 -
If you enjoy coding at coffee shops, remember to wear headphones. Not only will it help you focus, it'll also block out John Mayer.1
-
Please look at this code, I wanna know why the $ and {} was added to the alert method to pop up the key and value of user.
what is their functionality there?
let user = {
name: "John",
age: 30
};
// loop over keys-and-values
for (let [key, value] of Object.entries(user)) {
alert(`${key}:${value}`); // name:John, then age:30
}4 -
Freaking deadlines. I just hate them. There's something evil about thinking that you can forecast the future perfectly and even more evil if deadlines are by just eyeballing the problem. I can rant ask day about freaking deadlines.
The emotional consequences of missing a deadlines are a sure way to have everyone feeling guilty. To me is one of the most obnoxious ways of gaslighting.
The name itself, think about it? Why aren't they called Targets? Why freaking deadlines????1 -
offending devs is easy -
String strName = " John";
String strGreet = Greet(strName.ToString());
return strGreet;11 -
Hey remote workers.
What would be your advice for someone with experience that's interested in exploring remote work.
I'd like to target this question to remote workers that live outside USA/EU/UK. Say South America, South Asia.
A little introduction.
I'm a full stack engineer, did one project in embedded systems with QT/C++/RPI can do backend in Python, Node, Java, C#. I have some experience with React Native (just 2 apps)
I currently I do full stack with Node, React, postgres and caching with couchdb.
I gather requirements, write the projects, proposals and then I do the implementation. (Really full stack, I kinda like it though, when I'm bored with code I pick up an issue and contact the client to socialize/get answers. I found out that nondevs like to feel they talk to a human not a robot)
I'm making about 600usd/month (dev in a poor country) working 30hrs /week. I'd like to ramp up my income, working remote part time to fill up about 50hr week.
What can I expect?
Where do I start?
Are there part time opportunities for working remote?
What kind of roles are in demand?9 -
Sitting alone in a coffee shop, getting the vibe of the place, letting go.
It's not easy when you're thinking about bugs and missing features. 😫3 -
If you dont know what to put in a oracle TNS string ... Its ok ... Nobody know what to put in this shit
-
It is usual in business to do backend code with 0 basic Interface to enter data or seeing data ? Or anything else .. im fullstack but i don't want to make onnllyyy backend ... When vuejs look at me with petty3
-
I just want to rant now. Is the limit between rants still enforced? I hope so, I am afraid that I start complaining, I will just not stop. I've been holding up so much by now. Well whatever, I've got used to not complaining for so long, that I just lost all desire to rant.3
-
Some hint on how to take an php 3 old code and transform it to php 7.3 without rewrite all the class ...
Like an auto converters or i dont know ?10 -
University : you know with remote working no-body know if you really work at home. For that reason you cannot remote work on shiti snowy dangerous day.
Covid-19 joined the conversation
University : look how its fun to remote working ! Is the new technology of the century... Now everybody in quarantine can work at home and the business lose nothing.
Me: yeah you bet mother fucker
University: don't take it like that is a gift.
Me: i will take it like a gift if you give it to me before the apocalypse fucker ...2 -
Abraham Lincoln showed how one can rule. John Kennedy showed how one should rule. George Bush showed that every idiot can rule. Donald Trump showed that not every idiot can rule.22
-
Can you take this JavaScript file and make it TypeScript with tree shaking. Step one pass week to understand TypeScript and webpackShit compilers and try to importe it in a basic chrome windows ... What a mess10
-
Just patching shit from other unknown Junior dev is depressing ... Its like i can do operations but i kill 80% of my patients do you want a try ? If you dont know what you doing please just take time to get a small formation at least thx2
-
Interview tooday im so fucking nervous again ... In Québec city the job you can have without a car is so fucking NullPointerException1
-
"It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen. " - Coach John Wooden
-
Interview Question:
Are there other options to make this go any shorter?
if (john == doe == max == paul == stella == false)
return "Not Okay";
return "Okay";
I did...
return (!john && !doe && !max && !paul && !stella) ? "Not Okay" : "Okay";
That was the shortest i could come up with... Maybe there is something shorter, dunno.6 -
Having sex. Or long hot showers. It's amazing how doing either of those helps me unplug for the day and start to refresh my self for the next day of coding.
Context, I used to burnout quiet often. Learning to unplug allowed me to be a better software engineer that could work better over an extended period of time.3 -
"When it comes to writing code, the number one most important skill is how to keep a tangle of features from collapsing under the weight of its own complexity." - John D. Cook
-
When you play on lagacy shit spaghetti monster code with a fucking ass crack boss don't understand anything and bullshit you (yaya that code is perfect) !
I just want to drop that fucking job full of shit
Week 2 😂🤣😭 8 months come2 -
!rant .
Interesting conversation between coworker 1, 2 and 3.
1 : “ hey do you know if you want to sounds like Australians , start eating spiders. Alternatively you can try to eat kiwi to sound familiar to Australian but isn’t.
2 : “ I fancy myself sugary juices and burgers everyday, but yet I am not becoming American.”
1: “No pal you should start drinking petroleum and yell FREEDOM and ‘this is my right!’ every chances you get. That’s how you become a US citizen without the green card .”
3: “bro, you are taking you are what you eat too literally and stereotypically. Let say if you guys would to suck my dick and drain my semen down your throat, won’t me you my son . But I will get the pleasure.”
John : “Yo what the fuck?”
3: “the real question is ‘yo wanna fuck?’”
1 :”you sus bro”
2: “I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that one .”
John :” 1, which ‘you’ you are referring to? 2, of course you didn’t with that amount of sugary juices.”
2: “hey this is my right!”
John: *mute the off-topic channel *
Yo like what the fuck .14 -
Trying to put translation in a drupal 8 project with
Content type => Paragraphs type => paragraphs type.
Wtf i need to translate in witch level OMG.
😭🔫1 -
When i work on wordpress the only thing i see is . LOOK that pro version of the plugins ... Pop up Everywhere 👎🤮1
-
Getting ready for another day at work.
They seem to think that scrum is the perfect tool to micromanage their team.
Thanks guys for the creative ideas on how to get back on her, but I'm doing the responsible thing and I'll send them a nice email detailing why that's fucked up and what they need to change.
Adding important words like, "that behaviour is affecting team integrity" or "it demotivates people", "It is counter productive", "it diminishes team performance", "instills fear".
Maybe, or I'll stick to my work hours and wait for my contract termination notice. 🤣 -
Want to give money to an open source project ... I want give 20$ CAN ... ok the teams will receive 2€ ... Fuck canada3
-
Why people do that shit ? is a free backdoor to sniff other user content XD
if(isset($_COOKIE["user"])){
resetSession("user","user");
}
function resetSession($cookiename,$sessionname){
$_SESSION[$sessionname] = $_COOKIE[$cookiename];
}8 -
Its normal if i drop some eyedrop at my new job ? My boss don't know anything of is network ... Cannot help me with noting no code no net... All the code is done already is a deep shit full of breach im fucking solo in a room face a brick wall no window ! Can i stay for 10 month at this place ?
Need to coding but have no cluse how to connect to a fucking database no user no password ...
Its the fucking hell here 👿😢3 -
{{ if (and (or (isset .Params "title") (isset .Params "caption")) (isset .Params "attr")) }}
Wait a minute hugo wtf is that7 -
Try to teach to my girlfriend what is a class and what is a object.
Class is methods and attributes
My girlfriend starting sing "dans l'attribut de Dana" 😂🤣
Course is finish for today 🤣6 -
As a representative of every John in this world, our name is spelt J.O.H.N not "Jhon"
And we also we don't have affairs with girl named Mary.4 -
Tooday i try to migrate a Drupal 7 to Drupal 8 ... I think that migrate module from drupal8 will work easily... But i remember on Drupal, noting work as expected on this Platform... I run the migration and suprise suprise content type field are off or empty and I don't have any data imported ...
Go to reports check the error message ... Try to get information on Internet hoo yes i remember no fucking documentation anywhere because Yolo i need to release 1626 modules that in beta or alpha after 5 years of development. And i dont give shit anymore.
Now i try use migrate_plus and tools to make my custom importation... Documentation not found or not finish ... Please omg please just shutup and work1 -
Hyper-V have one job and fail it ... Fuck micro$hit product ! Install Ubuntu on hyper-v lag as fuck ... Why why you do that mother fucker2
-
!rant !dev
So, following up my last rant.
https://devrant.com/rants/2433162
I quit on Friday, this is what I said to my bosses.
"In the last week I had, 2 panic attacks, and I have 2 theories for this, one is that I have underlying psychological problems, the other theory is that we are under an impossible task, I choose to say now that I have to quit because I have psychological issues, but if you are willing to hear my other theory, that involves saying that meeting the deadline is not viable, then I can tell you that, so do want to listen that part?.
Bosses: No, we heard enough, we are going to have your contract terminated in order, and we will let you know when you can come and pick your paycheck."
So, that's them. Now about me and how I re-discovered GTD, or more precisely how I organized my whole weekend using taskwarrior with GTD, and why I think is going to be useful as a freelancer.
Before I feel good about telling you about my weekend I have to tell you a few things about myself.
I am a very impulsive person, I have a lot of energy in short surges, so I have to be able to maximize my activity when I'm in a surge, and I have to maximize my rest when I am not.
That's hard to do, it requires a balanced lifestyle, I am also very prone to being neurotic, and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that I want to do.
And on top of that, when I am resting, I have surges of things that I want to have, do, or implement, it could be software related, as "Doing an app that will be the Uber of home services", to house improvements like, "I have to fix that leaking roof", and all the sort of stuff that happens in between hardware and software. That surge of consciousness doesn't allow me to have the proper rest that I need before I engage with activities again.
Because of this I have a very cyclic rhythm, with whole weeks burning my energy into doing stuff, and weeks resting doing very little and thinking too much.
Now about my weekend. Friday night I was browsing the web, and a thought came to my head. "The way you use your terminal, says a lot about your personality", and I got curious, so I searched for, "Show me your terminal", and found a post in dev.to to see all kind of nice terminal setups, from the very minimalist to very feature rich oh-my-zsh themes with plugins for git, aws and what not. One of these pictures really got my attention, a guy had set up his terminal to show him, how many task has he done in the day, and how many cups of coffee has he had.
So by investigating how he set up his terminal to show in the prompt the number of successfully completed tasks in the day, I found out that he was using taskwarrior, he was also kind enough to share the source code of his prompt setup, which I bookmarked to later incorporate that into my oh-my-zsh config.
After reading about taskwarrior, I also got a reference to GTD, I don't remember if this was one of those thoughts that I have and follow immediately, or if I read something that led me to a YouTube video summarizing GTD.
In the end, after watching that GTD video, I decided to give it a try to organize my life, and help me find a remote job, keep my house in order, plan my social activities as "hang out with friends", "visit mom and dad", and give the proper amount of attention to my GF, with whom I am deeply in love, and willing to spend the remaining of my years with her.
So my fist task was.
task add Ask for GF's parents blessing.
Which of course I have no intention of doing right now, but is one of the things that I will eventually have to do.
Then it started, I started adding tasks, and things to do, and go through the whole Capture phase of GTD.
Now it is a good time to write a small summary of what I think GTD is.
GTD is a life habit of organizing your life in todo-lists. And it was a very specific core method, that in the video summary that I watched was called CPR.
Capture, Process and Review.
Capture:
When you capture you just add your tasks to a bucket list.
So I took a notebook and started writing down everything that I wanted to have done. I also started to capture ideas as they came up to me, I did this by writing a telegram saved message in my phone, or directly adding it as a task in TW.
Process:
I read my telegram messages and put them into my task warrior list, then I started to organize my tasks into projects, breaking down every task that was not an atomic unit.
* And different projects started to emerge from this. One of them was project:Housekeeping.
And here's my screenshot of what I did this weekend, also the number of projects that I have, and all the things that I have to do in order to have what I think would be a very balanced, fun, and productive life.
You'll be able to see in the screenshot, that there's a blocked task, yes, tw allows you to organize dependencies too, so one task is delegated, and blocked by the delegation task.1 -
I was having a weird time playing manager because we had none. And the new one kind of sucks and it is too junior for the role. Acting as TL too and had almost no time to code or do PRs. And. Gee. Yesterday I went back to coding after a few months. And I found out that We have a team member that just shits all over the code. Tests that are invalid, basically testing nothing. Methods done apparently for no reason. It took me a good deal of time to sort things thru. And now I'm at a point where I can finally do some reviews. Long day today.1
-
I was working at one of my dad's friends during vacations, he asked me to build a flash form and make it send an email.
And so I followed a tutorial, and from then, I wanted to know what the guy that wrote the tutorial knew. And that's that. -
Some time ago, I gave a tutorial and wrote page with some brief instructions for configuring and start using git for a team of researchers. A few day later I came back to check how they were doing and I found that following my instructions, several people were committing as:
John Doe <john.doe@example.com>
Perfect! I don't think that there is anything else I can do to help them. -
My father lost is password of is google account =_= TFA need phone number ... but the phone is lock ... cannot format the phone because of FRP ... technologie is so shit these time...11
-
I have a list of favorites but the first person that always usually comes to mind is John Romero.
I love listening to the talks Romero gives and even though I don’t partake in the practice of developing games I still love hearing his stories about his projects development or having to work with old/retro tech and learn something from those stories. -
I read the book “Bad Blood” which is about the Theranos scandal. I sent a connection request on LinkedIn to Tyler Schultz, John Fuisz and John Carreyou. I was hoping that their insights would help me navigate the red flags of the startup world— exaggerating technology, misleading investors etc. All three accepted it !! Yay !3
-
"A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. The inverse proposition also appears to be true: A complex system designed from scratch never works and cannot be made to work. You have to start over, beginning with a working simple system." - John Gall4
-
D3 software tutorials at best
Press ctrl+D . G . Z . RMC .S . Move mouse . RMC . TAB . Select vex . E . RMC . S . Mouve mouse
Then Alt+Z see your vex
Then P to cut the Shift+L to select node .
Omg ... Wtf it worst then Vim or wat XD -
I joined this community because I found a marine that was telling brilliant luser anecdotes.
I didn't subscribe to him though.
Rings any bell? I'd like to suscribe to his rants now, but I can't find him.9 -
Why can't Jira support standard markdown (as defined by Daring Fireball / John Gruber et al)?
Why does it need an own markup syntax and even fail with it. Using ticks ` for code once worked, now it lets the first tick stay, eats the first code character and highlights it as code. Just why?!6 -
What should my next book be? I’ve narrowed down to these—
A Commentary on Unix by John Lions
Clean Code by Robert C Main
Code Complete by Steve McConnell
SICP by Gerald Jay Sussman
Feel free to suggest any other book as well7 -
..... I'm on the verge of saying fuck jy and spending money I don't have on a new laptop
As it is that is somewhere like God I've lost count laptops owed John boy here including three brand new ones already purchased here7 -
Ya tu qu'elle qu'un qui sais si vuejs et PWA marche bien ensemble ? Je veux bien me tiré une bûche puis tester tout sa !8
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Why do IT Indians tend to lie so much? So many indian freelancer transform into John from USA and work together with a team of highly skilled specialists that studied in the most Elite universities in the world6
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I’m about to finish reading “Bad Blood” by John Carreyou. It’s an amazing story about this Sociopathic young woman managed to dupe so many people with her blood testing startup Theranos which turned out to be a fraud. Low key I’ve been reading too many biographies/novels. It’s about time I focused on my core skills— like coding and docker container orchestration.1
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Bob Dylan:
Next one for John Carmack, please. (at least according to http://kotaku.com/5975610/... ) -
When one thing append ( girlfriend bios brick ).. all the shit append at the same time ( HDD badsector, production fuk up, migration that work on local not work on production, etc ) this week is shit jezzz4
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Code while listening to John Oliver's Last Week Tonight in the background. Sometimes it gets so hilarious you forget what you were coding while coding... :)1
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I pass my weekends working on 15 years of picture not classify .... Its 3am and im on it ... Jezuz cry
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I was just surfing and then I found this jem.
Real man of culture John Macfee.
https://youtu.be/bKgf5PaBzyg1 -
I cannot take this anymore ... The picture on desktop and mobile is not crop equally ....... Please next time I receive that i kill myself. Im so tired of this shit
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"Design is crucially important. We can’t have advances in technology any longer, unless design is integrated from the very start." - John Underkoffler
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"Design is crucially important. We can’t have advances in technology any longer, unless design is integrated from the very start." - John Underkoffler2
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I try to do some C# on VSCode and i dont understand why my nuget package won't working ... I just try to install sqlite . 😔1
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The culture in engineering org is to address each other as 'brother' and seniors as 'sir'.
Bhai is the local term for brother.
This is how an average Slack message reads:
"We will make the changes.
CC: @John Doe bhai, @Marcus Fila bhai, @David Elliot sir"
And even though these people are part of the conversation, everyone tags everyone else in each response.
Slack culture is a mess.4 -
Tori modified the meaning of I see you to a threat
Lets make this clear
If I threaten you john will stab me to death6 -
Clients should pay their bills, yes. But also, developers should check their bank accounts before shutting things down.
https://thesun.co.uk/news/8253908/...2 -
Shit microshiote annonce ModernOS ... ready for shit version of windows ? Because one of 2 windows is shit !4
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Please note did go to exotica within the next 6 months also visited said club and umm have a date with a cutie as well if you people are going to keep repeating things John needs the fun things to continue as well so he doesn't murder people who quite deserve to die !!!! Bahaha5
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Has the message that this shit is dumb sunk in yet ? Noone would need to verify someone is real till they go crazy if things stopped repeating
If we all reach another era your messed up children will say John was the only sane person from this generation and a few others and that is considering some actual problems being present4 -
For any normal person that somehow ends up here
Hi
I'm still alive
My name is John
Run
Like seriously build up a wad of cash and go to I don't know Sweden or Denmark not London not Paris not Hong Kong and by no means stay in America
Why?
I discovered this tiktok twice now
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR7HwkLW/
And it's less funny than it was but amusing5 -
At job. I open old project I don't make. Nice i made with scss for clarity ! That guy put all is css in a scss file and compile them ... For fuck sake1
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All students building are close to stop the propagation of the virus. But you web developer are an essential services you need to be there for two week to make an remote course system in 2 week 😆🤭3
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Nobody where are authorized to do remote working
Covid-19 : everybody look how its fun to do remote working ....
Ya 🖕 please