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Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!
Even though that's all true...10 -
"Personalized Advertisements":
No Amazon, I'm not interested in buying any of these phones, I just bought a new one five days ago, remember? You sold it to me! And stop recommending the same book I already got five YEARS ago!
YouTube, why are you always showing me the same ad about an app I already own and use regularly? And why the FUCK do I you show me the new trailer of Star Wars Ep8 as an ad video before the actual video of the new Star Wars Ep8 trailer?
Audi, I am an university student, barely able to pay my rent, why are you telling me to buy your newest car? How do you expect me to afford this?
Monster, why exactly are you showing me job offers as "Technical Product Designer at company X" for which I'm not remotely qualified or even interested in?
Neither do I have 5000£ (I live in Germany, at least match the currency, ffs) to invest in some suspiciously promising stock market schemes, nor am I in any need of rheumatism pills or a hearing aid (I am 19). I cannot afford or want any Rolex watches and PLEASE, I don't know why you think I would, but I really do not need a special new and innovative brand of tampons, my dick is doing fine, thanks.
"Hot local singles near {my actual location} want to fuck!
Click here!!!"
At least there are still some ads you can trust to be relevant...14 -
Before iPads took over the general population of home computing, I used to do house calls to help people with their computers for some extra folding money. One day I get a call from a regular saying that ever since I last worked on his computer it won't stay on.
He says it comes on for a few seconds, then just shuts down. It never did that before I upgraded the RAM.
So I drive over to his house and turn on the computer. He says, "See, it starts fine, but in a few seconds it'll just shut off. Just watch"
The computer boots up without any issues.
He says, "Well, of course it doesn't do it now that you're here!"
I reboot it a few times, boots fine every time. Suddenly I realize what's going on. I say to him, "Hey, why don't you try turning it on for me?"
He says, "What difference will that make?"
I say, "Just trust me, turn it on."
He bends down, presses the power button, looks up at the monitor and watches it boot. But he doesn't release the button! He just keeps holding it down until it shuts off.
"See!" he says, "why does it only do that when I turn it on!"
I then have to explain to him how holding down the power button forces a shutdown.
But, it never did that before I worked on it!16 -
Currently on an internship, PHP mostly, little bit of Python and the usual web stuff, and I just had the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.
Wake up and find out I'm out of coffee, oh boy here we go.
Bus leaves 10 minutes late, great gonna miss my train.
Trains just don't wanna ride today, back in a bus I go, what's normally a 10 minute train travel is now a 90 minute bus ride.
Arrive at internship, coffee machine is broke, non problem, I'll just lose it slowly.
NOW HERE COMES THE FUCKING GOOD PART!!
Alright, so I'm working on a CMS that can be used just about on any device you want, mobile or desktop, it's huge, billion's of rows of scientific data. Very specific requirements and low error margins. Now, yesterday I was really enjoying myself here until today, Project manager walks in, comes to my desk and hands me a Samsung Gear S3, an Apple watch and some cheap knockoff. He tells me that before the Friday deploy, THE ENTIRE CMS SHOULD WORK ON THOSE WATCHES!
I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it's just not right, I mean, I'm still not sure what the right way to handle tables on phones is, but smart watches, just no. Besides that, I've never worked with any Apple devices, let alone WatchOs, nor have I worked with Android Wear.
Also, Project Manager is a total dickhead, he's the kinda guy that prefers a light theme, doesn't clean up his code, writes 0 documentation for an API, 1 space = tab, pure horror.
So after almost flipping my desk, I just called my school coach to announce I'm leaving this internship. After a brief explanation he decides to come over, and guess what, according to the Project Manager I wasn't supposed to do that, I was supposed to test if it would be possible.
FUCKING ASSFUCKFACE9 -
*while still in bed, watches couple of videos of Google presenting flutter and building apps in less than 30 minutes*
*this is freaking interesting*
*gets out of bed, opens Firefox and types: " learn React native", installs VSC, npm ....*
I don't understand how my brains works 😒7 -
#Programming alone
print "Hello World!"
#Programming while someone watches
global _start
section .data
msg db "Hello, World!", 10
len equ $ - msg
section .text
_start:
mov rax, 4
mov rbx, 1
mov rcx, msg
mov rdx, len
int 0x80
mov rax, 1
mov rbx, 0
int 0x805 -
Part of the new hire process was all salaried employees had to work all hourly position jobs for a day (over a several week period, not all in one day) to really understand what we do.
I once hazed a new network admin who was working in the call center and I sent his station a pop-up message:
“Ha! Fire me will you!! I planted this virus and if you don’t enter the password in 60 seconds I will erase the database.” The pop-up had a counter counting down from 60.
This was over the lunch hour, so all the supervisors and managers were away and ‘Mark’ in a panic ran into our office (I was hiding under my desk)
Mark: GUYS!!...GUYS!!!....OMG!….Where the frack is everybody?!!!”
He runs out.
I peek out the door window and about a second later he’s running down the hall with one of the vice presidents. Mark shows the VP the message, VP looks over at our office, sees me…laughs and walks back to his office (not saying much to Mark).
Mark not knowing what’s going on watches the counter…3...2…1….
”Just kidding. Welcome to the company!”
Ahhh…the repeated sounds of “You son of a -bleep-!!” never sounded so sweet.1 -
Today was fucking awesome!
I always wanted to do a project in C++ since I've been more of a Java guy for years now.
And today, I finally wrote a full console program in C++! (For windows, it's a .exe)
The purpose of that program is to show if a file has a file lock on it (because of copying for example).
It started as simple as that, but got complicated quickly:
- It needs colors! So I added colors.
- Just a single file? Boring. I need wildcards, so I can put a * for anything in the file name! Jup.
- Just one directory? Boring. I need a recursive directory walk! Got it.
- But wait! There has to be an option to switch between recursive and wildcard/single mode! So I checked if the first argument equals "-r"! Hacky but works.
- Oh uh... that spams a lot now! The purpose was to show locked files, so I need another argument to specify that I only want to see locked files! Damn now it get's hard... I need a Linux-like command line argument parser (this -h and -s "hello" stuff). So I took the opportunity to write one myself! Done.
- Refactoring everything to use my new fancy parser...
- Adding more and more arguments, just because I can:
- "-d" hides "access denied" messages
- "-l" shows only locked files
- "-r" activates recursive directory walk
- "-f" formats everything nicely, basically printf("%-150.150s | %s", filename, locked); a maximum width which get's truncated if too long so everything lines up nicely
- "-h" which of course displays the help page
- "-w file" watches a file, if the file is locked it will refresh every 500ms, if it's still locked nothing happens, if it's unlocked, the program prints "unlocked" in green and exits. And yes, it does have a rotating line (something like this: "-" "\" "|" "/" "-" and so forth...)
That project was just awesome to make. I learn languages fastest if I just do a big project in them, and today, I really learned a lot.
Thank you for reading all this!3 -
Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.
😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.
🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.
🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.
🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
---
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢13 -
CTO joined us to interview a web fullstack today.
Amongst many battle analogies, he said "Fuck the corrupt and the weak. We keep only the best here"
If he watches 300 a couple more times, I think he will start wearing leather underwear and a red cape to work.3 -
*downloads Torrent that's about to die*
Oh wicked, both of my peers have the whole thing and I can just come in and let my server seed it as well!
*watches asdfmovie as it downloads*
*returns*
Peer 1: have some data man
Peer 2: fuk off, I wan ma deta for meself
Pussy.
(Quite ironically, as I'm posting this rant, Peer 2 magically sent out data again as well.. coincidence? I think not!)4 -
*logs out of Google on Android*
*has this persistent Google search bar on launcher which I keep on accidentally tapping*
Alright, so I'm not logged into Google to see how it goes. Kind of an experiment to see just how intertwined Android and my life are with Google. And it's going quite well actually, except for my prime apps that I can't seem to get around.
*reads Google privacy policy*
"We protect your data by keeping it secure!"
Hmm, yeah.. you and 3 letter agencies are keeping it secure and out of the hands of other individuals.. that makes sense.
Don't be evil.. unless you're the devil, right?
Fuck you, I won't login like this.
*accidentally opens Google*
*le trending results show up*
- KSI vs Logan Paul weigh-in!
- KSI vs Logan Paul Manchester!
- KSI vs Logan Paul arena fight!
*opens up NewPipe in which I am not logged in either*
- KSI vs Logan Paul!!!
- Did you see the KSI vs Logan Paul stuff yet?!
*logs back into Google straight away*
Personalized search engine.. many hate it, but boy do I fucking love it.4 -
CLIENT "So my nephew who does stuff with computers built it and we are ok with how it all works so don't worry about changing that. "
DEV "so like you have a public form with no input filtering, spam mitigation let alone sanitization or remote concern for security. Basically you have a Json flat file that is 34mbs of links to, viagra, replica watches, nock off name brands and one real estate company. It is getting about 15 submissions an hour. Since you don't want me changing how it works are you happy to just leave all that ?"
CLIENT "no no we don't want all that but we have no route to delete it, can you just stop all the spam and let us continue on?"
DEV "ok so back to my first question can we rebuild all of this properly, or do you really want to just leave it all"
:/ FML3 -
I created a my portfolio using ReactJS and actually open sourced the whole thing. Within just a few weeks, its got 67 stars, 38 forks, 3 watches, 1 issue, 1 pull request, and so on.
People out of nowhere messaged me in my whatsapp, skype, facebook to help them in React.
People out of nowhere wanted to hire me, even though I'm still working in a company.
People out of nowhere messaged me just to tell me, how much they liked my work and appreciated it for open sourcing it.
It felt awesome! Like, I can't explain how amazing it felt! ^_^8 -
Dev: (Watches user print out screenshot of maintenance app to do list, walk across facility to printer. walk across facility to equipment and check things off on paper, then walk across facility back to their terminal and copy the findings over.)
Dev: We made the app responsive so they could do that on a mobile device. Why are they printing?
Manager: Printers are cheaper than getting more tablets.
Dev: …
Dev: Can we at least get a printer at each terminal so they don’t waste so much time walking across the facility?
Manager: That’s too many printers to maintain. It’s easier to just have one.
Dev: …8 -
I find smart watches so rude.
You are talking to someone and the bloody watch goes dinggg..
So the person you are talking to, stops listening, checks their smart watch, and performs whatever action they want before getting back to the conversation.
I fucking hate it. Not only you are rude to me, but also broke the chain of thought and rhythm of the conversation.
Fuck you and fuck your smart watch.
The other day I saw the office boy and the janitor wearing a smart watch. Mind you, the salaries of these folks is not more than $250 a month. Yet they have a top quality smart phone and a smart watch, where the combo usually costs more than their monthly salary.
It's important to consume and show off, than to make the bloody ends meet.
A monkey world.24 -
YES FINALLY SOMEBODY REPLIED TO MY JOB OFFER ON UPWORK LET ME OPEN THE MESSAGE
A LINK TO A ZIP FILE WITH PASSWORD THAT LOOKS SO SKETCHY HMMMMMMMMMMM
LETS OPEN IT
WHATS THIS
- aboutus/
-- COMPANY PROFILE.docx
-- Paiza.docx
-- PROJECT WORK.docx
- requirement.lnk
- training/
-- discussion/
--- instruction/
---- democrat/
----- marketing.bat
A MARKETING.BAT FILE FOR A JOB OFFER??? HMMM THATS SO INTERESTING LET ME OPEN THIS MARKETING.BAT IN VSCODE
OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT 10,000 LINES OF CODE OF ENCRYPTED CIPHER ENCODED MALWARE TROJAN MESSAGE TO FUCK UP MY C DRIVE.
WHY EVEN BOTHER. WHY DO YOU FUCKING WASTE MY FUCKING TIME YOU *********FUCKING*******++++ SCAMMERS I HOPE YOU GET CANCER AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY DIES IN THE MOST HARMFUL PAINFUL SLOW DEATH I HOPE SOMEONE POURS ACID ON YOUR FUCKING FACE AND YOU END UP AT A MEXICAN CARTEL GORE VIDEO WEBSITE WHERE THEY CHOP YOUR FUCKING ARMS AND LEGS OFF AND PUT A PITBULL TO MAUL YOUR FUCKING TINY DICK OFF AS YOUR HEAD WATCHES IN AGONY AND YOUR ARMLESS AND LEGLESS BODY FEELS ALL PAIN WHILE YOU'RE DRUGGED WITH ADRENALINE TO STAY ALIVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND RIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE THEY CUT YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFFFF DECAPITATED LIKE A FUCKING USELESS TURD SHIT FAGGOT WASTE OF OXYGEN SCAMMING CANCER FUCK
WHY SCAM ENGINEERS ON UPWORK????? WHAT DO YOU GET FROM IT????
11 -
Stuck on windows for a bit more now after my little Arch fuckup and holy shit I forgot how terrible running android studio on windows is...
*Opens project, waits for windows to unfreeze*
*Waits for gradle to load lets windows unfreeze*
*Opens AVD and watches RAM usage go to 100%*
*Sips now cold coffee that was made when opening Android Studio*
Ugh, I miss Arch...
PS. Yes I know this is an android studio thing and not a Wndows problem2 -
Being a user, u watch your processor handle things...! 😪
Become a superuser 🤓
Processor watches you handle everything 😎7 -
YouTube: Wait 5 seconds to skip this ad.
Me: Ooo this ad looks interesting.
*Watches for 15 seconds*
Me: Nah I'll watch my video now.
*Presses "Skip Ad"*
YouTube: Oh you like ads? How bout I give you another one right away? And this time you can't skip it!
Me: WTF???
(For those wondering, I usually don't mind YouTube ads. I have Pi-hole running on my network to block other ads)6 -
Desperately frustrated since my little brother started studying Software Engineering in college. I was so happy that he wants to do this, but they study 10 types of math and Java.
When he gets home from vacation watches movies for weeks and weeks. Haven't seen him write a single line of code for a year and some. I believe he thinks the outdated stuff and the piece of math they study will get him a solid job with the diploma.
I am a self-taught developer and for the past 11 years I have gaps in top of a week where I wasn't studying/coding/working and by watching him throw his good years ... this is not how I see good dev raise.
I was super pissed, because he started looking for a job last month (for me he has 0 knowledge to lend a job) after 50 applications he got 2 calls (one because of me calling an HR friend of mine and the little brat refused it). I tried giving him a part in project of mine - quick piece of work 2-3 days tops so he can add something to this one page empty CV and yet he refused.
I don't know what to do anymore. For me he has no real future if he relies on the stupid college education and the piece of paper with no real knowledge for the past 2 years of studying.16 -
Branch Manager without actual credentials (just a manager no real business decisions are made by him).
- Constantly is sick
- at home a lot doing „home office“ and not being responsive in company chat or emails
- is in home office 3-4 days a week while company policy clearly states one day a week
- watches YouTube a lot at work and calls out other people when they check their emails or quickly order something on amazon or maybe just listen to a podcast at work
- is a scrum master but rarely acts like it as in softens up rules as he sees fit
- backstabs employees in front of ceo when he actually entrusts them beforehand and says he is definitely in the employees side
- actually tried to physically intimidate me and another employee
- has no real technological background but chimes in on technical discussions and thinks it’s a new round of bullshit bingo
- does personal errands during work and books the time for it as work time
- claims people cheat on their time management entries and gets them warned and fired for it, while doing the exact thing himself
- knows he is trusted by the ceo but actually takes 0 interest in the future of the company
- tirades and gossips about other employees that just aren’t around at that moment
- is sexist at times
- very untrustworthy
- is responsible for a very toxic environment around the office
So that are his attributes - he got me warned and sacked because I supposedly committed fraud with my time management and caused the company financial harm - I had no projects or todos and was keeping myself busy with learning JS and python stuff instead of sitting around waiting for a ticket to come around.
Needless to say I’m glad I don’t see that guy any more. I’d break his jaw if I’d have to see him again.3 -
All thanks to God for all the stars, forks & watches in my open source project, even though I never deserved it
112 -
After a few weeks of being insanely busy, I decided to log onto Steam and maybe relax with a few people and play some games. I enjoy playing a few sandbox games and do freelance development for those games (Anywhere from a simple script to a full on server setup) on the side. It just so happened that I had an 'urgent' request from one of my old staff member from an old community I use to own. This staff member decided to run his own community after I sold mine off since I didn't have the passion anymore to deal with the community on a daily basis.
O: Owner (Former staff member/friend)
D: Other Dev
O: Hey, I need urgent help man! Got a few things developed for my server, and now the server won't stay stable and crashes randomly. I really need help, my developer can't figure it out.
Me: Uhm, sure. Just remember, if it's small I'll do it for free since you're an old friend, but if it's a bigger issue or needs a full recode or whatever, you're gonna have to pay. Another option is, I tell you what's wrong and you can have your developer fix it.
O: Sounds good, I'll give you owner access to everything so you can check it out.
Me: Sounds good
*An hour passes by*
O: Sorry it took so long, had to deal with some crap. *Insert credentials, etc*
Me: Ok, give me a few minutes to do some basic tests. What was that new feature or whatever you added?
O: *Explains long feature, and where it's located*
Me: *Begins to review the files* *Internal rage wondering what fucking developer could code such trash* *Tests a few methods, and watches CPU/RAM and an internal graph for usage*
Me: Who coded this module?
O: My developer.
Me: *Calm tone, with a mix of some anger* So, you know what, I'm just gonna do some simple math for ya. You're running 33 ticks a second for the server, with an average of about 40ish players. 33x60 = 1980 cycles a minute, now lets times that by the 40 players on average, you have 79,200 cycles per minute or nearly 4.8 fucking cycles an hour (If you maxed the server at 64 players, it's going to run an amazing fucking 7.6 million cycles an hour, like holy fuck). You're also running a MySQLite query every cycle while transferring useless data to the server, you're clusterfucking the server and overloading it for no fucking reason and that's why you're crashing it. Another question, who the fuck wrote the security of this? I can literally send commands to the server with this insecure method and delete all of your files... If you actually want your fucking server stable and secure, I'm gonna have to recode this entire module to reduce your developer's clusterfuck of 4.8 million cycles to about 400 every hour... it's gonna be $50.
D: *Angered* You're wrong, this is the best way to do it, I did stress testing! *Insert other defensive comments* You're just a shitty developer (This one got me)
Me: *Calm* You're calling me a shitty developer? You're the person that doesn't understand a timer, I get that you're new to this world, but reading the wiki or even using the game's forums would've ripped this code to shreds and you to shreds. You're not even a developer, cause most of this is so disorganized it looks like you copy and pasted it. *Get's angered here and starts some light screaming* You're wasting CPU usage, the game can't use more than 1 physical core, and after a quick test, you're stupid 'amazing' module is using about 40% of the CPU. You need to fucking realize the 40ish average players, use less than this... THEY SHOULD BE MORE INTENSIVE THAN YOUR CODE, NOT THE OPPOSITE.
O: Hey don't be rude to Venom, he's an amazing coder. You're still new, you don't know as much as him. Ok, I'll pay you the money to get it recoded.
Me: Sounds good. *Angered tone* Also you developer boy, learn to listen to feedback and maybe learn to improve your shitty code. Cause you'll never go anywhere if you don't even understand who bad this garbage is, and that you can't even use the fucking wiki for this game. The only fucking way you're gonna improve is to use some of my suggestions.
D: *Leaves call without saying anything*
TL;DR: Shitty developer ran some shitty XP system code for a game nearly 4.8 million times an hour (average) or just above 7.6 million times an hour (if maxed), plus running MySQLite when it could've been done within about like 400 an hour at max. Tried calling me a shitty developer, and got sorta yelled at while I was trying to keep calm.
Still pissed he tried calling me a shitty developer... -
I have been playing skyrim on my switch. The reason is simple, family watches movies or whatever, and I get to sit comfortably in my little screen shooting mofockas with my bow(i made an archer build)
Its my first time playing the game after all these years and I love it, far better than I expected. The story is great and the side quests are fun instead of boring, it does not take much to learn how to craft, enchant etc and I dig the simplicity.
But it has got to be one of the buggiest glitchiest majorly famous game I had ever played. Literally, and I have it for both the ps4 and the switch and it still is so fucking buggy its unbelievable.5 -
A typical bouba coder:
- thinks a kilobyte contains 1024 bytes
- thinks Object.assign clones an object
- codes in react.js, thinks he knows reactive programming
- “amd is better for games, intel is better for work”
- thinks that the main advantage of ssh is that you don’t need to enter your password manually
- watches porn in incognito mode
- “crapple”
- “uhm, is it immutable?”
- thinks “persistent” means saved to local storage
- thinks designer is an inferior job because “they only draw shapes”
- thinks good accessibility is when the tab key works
- “All non-mechanical keyboards are trash”
- “C is outdated and nobody uses it anymore”
- “Zuck quit uni and now he’s a billionaire, everybody should quit”
- thinks “pointer” is a shape of the cursor53 -
We turned wannacry into a meme, turned 404 into a meme. BUT: CAN WE TURN OPERA OS INTO A MEME??!
*watches the world burn*9 -
!rant
I saw a devrant user posting something about "the cockroach" that survives in the company no matter what so I knew I had to rant about something similar. I worked with a guy and his ability to talk shit is in direct proportion to his salary. The guy watches youtube all day, searches for things to buy, goes to vacations and no one knows what he does. :)) plot twist: he just forwards ( not sends ) emails from the business to a software provider. Did I mention that he has the highest salary( don't ask how I found out ).
Anyhow, the guy is winning at life, no one gives two shits about him, he is always hiding and running from work. While writing this I'm actually amazed by his skill, how do you end up like this? He reminds me of Wally from Dilbert!2 -
This is from a book I'm reading right now! I found it funny :-D
Pattern: What is a chaperone?
Shallan: That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don’t do anything inappropriate
Pattern: Inappropriate? Such as . . . dividing by zero?8 -
Any watch enthusiasts here?
What watches do you guys have?
I'm thinking about buying a Vostok amphibia. My gshock g7700 is in the pic
36 -
I don't mind Apple marketing themselves as these revolutionary thinkers and innovators, because I figured most people see behind the marketing but appreciate Apple for what it is. It's a big company that makes well built products, that are efficient and give good support to those products.
But I'm sick to death of tech journalists talking about how every new feature is the death of Android. They have to be kidding themselves if they think what Apple's doing is innovating. Samsung's been designing screens for the bezelless market for a LONG time, and their technology in that is incredibly advanced (it's why if you use their iPhone x you'll be looking at a screen from Samsung!)
They finally adopted wireless charging and pretended it was brand new, but I remember when they came out with the Apple watch, marketing it like they'd broken ground when Android Wear watches had been out for a year!
I don't want people to think I hate Apple, I own a few of their products. I think they're remarkably invested in user privacy; homekit imo is one of the most forward thinking implementations of smart home technology that I've seen, and the new processor in the iPhone x is a Mammoth powerhouse. So, I'm not necessarily saying anything about that, but what I am saying is that they're iñcredible at marketing, but fanboys but are not self-aware can enough to recognize when the Designed-by-Apple hype over shadows the actual objectivity or the situation. There are articles already talking about Apple's wireless charging.
TL;DR I swear to god if an apple fanboy comes at me saying the bezelless design was Apple's innovation, I'm going to snap. I appreciate what Apple does well, but unfortunately people can't appreciate a product without needing to identify with it.6 -
Wisdom tooth is trying to burst through my fucking gum, but it's still less annoying than a friend I have who:
- Constantly posts shitty 'inspiring' quotes on his facebook and tags everyone on his friendlist in 'em.
- Watches motivational speakers and constantly links you up to them.
- Tells you to 'aim higher' or to 'look for a job in a bigger company' or I won't achieve 'the success'.
..bitch, what kind of success have you achieved to tell me what to do with my god damn life?4 -
My bi-annual ritual:
1. Get home after 5 months
2. By cheap ear/head-phones
3. Use them for the next 5 months till they wear out
4. Repeat
😂😂
Also watches. But I gave up on those back in school.😛1 -
`aptitude update`
`aptitude upgrade`
[watches as PHP7.1 is replaced with PHP7.2 without confirmation]
[watches as sites cease to function because they're horrid and old and still rely on mcrypt]
I think I'll go get a beer...7 -
@dfox Could we also get watches on the right hand ? I've been wearing mine on the right hand ever since I've started wearing a watch and I feel awkward wearing it on the left :)6
-
whenever i tell my dad about a technology that is going way beyond our imagination and tell him about the consequences of it and how we should worry about that
then he watches some random tv show about internet security/cyber security and various algorithms (very abstract) which are currently changing the world and how we should care about our data and what the consequences of X technology is...
he be like: "oh is that true? that's interesting, how does that work?"
i'm like😑 dad, i already told you about that😩
ever had similar experience?1 -
So...if Microsoft now owns Github...then they also own Atom.
*sips grape juice and watches mass exodus from Atom to other editor*4 -
Stolen but so funny:
QA Tester walks into a bar:
He orders a beer.
He orders 3 beers.
He orders 2976412836 beers.
He orders 0 beers.
He orders -1 beer.
He orders q beers.
He orders nothing.
Él ordena una cerveza.
Il commande une bière.
He orders a deer.
He tries to leave without paying.
He starts ordering a beer, then throws himself through the window half way through.
He orders a beer, gets his receipt, then tries to go back.
He orders a beer, goes to the door of the bar, throws a handful of cookies into the street, then goes back to the bar to see if the barmaid still recognizes him.
He orders a beer, and watches very carefully while the barmaid puts his order into the till to make sure nothing in his request got lost along the way.
He starts ordering a beer, and tries to talk the barmaid into handing over her personal details.
He orders a beer, sneaks into the back, turns off the power to the till, and waits to see how the barmaid reacts, and what she says to him.
He orders a beer while calling in thousands of robots to order a beer at exactly the same time.4 -
I'm clearly a little obsessed with Destiny, but it's what helps me unwind at the end of the day. Between working full time, 16 credit hours at school, and a baby girl coming in just a couple of weeks, I have to have something to escape reality for just a little bit sometimes.
Destiny isn't all I play, but it takes up most of the time and the game that - for that last several years at least - brings me the greatest amount of joy. It's the game that has finally made me buckle down and get serious about finishing school work on game dev.
Other activities include podcasts - which I am devouring nearly constantly - and movies. I have about 20 podcasts I'm currently actively subscribed to with another 20 that I have on reserve in case I get through my list too fast. As for movies, I watch them when I have time. Recent watches that I've enjoyed were Destroyed, On The Basis Of Sex, and Aquaman.
3 -
Every time I go home I have to switch all my passwords, because my little brother watches me type them and memorize them. Every damn time. I'm running out of passwords.12
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Anybody watches starcraft2 games??? You see Scarlett destroy SoS?
She should be in my daughters women role models. She just destroyed the best player in the world.
We need more chick gamers!!!!19 -
What on earth are some developers thinking. Was just browsing the Casio website, using Chrome and noticed the following message. How hard is it to display a message when actually needed, instead of all the time. Good watches, poor development :/
2 -
I aim to be web designer...
a little backstory, I've always been ignorant towards how much effort it takes to design one responsive website without frameworks or libraries and now that I know it's not a child's play (at least not for me), I aim to be one, I mean I look some websites' media query rules and they go down till smart watches now a days1 -
ok, fuck people. i mean the people who talk about things that are a big deal. you don't need to take a course in html/css to build a website, you need documentation.
people act like programming languages are a whole separate literacy. they're not. it is not a big deal, nor an accomplishment of any significance, to learn any language to a basic extent. variables, control flow, functions and scope should not be considered challenging topics, and people should stop bragging about them. i'm pretty sure this is because programming is new. as people, i think when something is new we tend to think of it as more complex and harder to understand. basic programming is not that.
ok that was a tangent from my real point. college is a scam. anyone can learn anything from books and the internet. any time you want to learn about something, go to google, and search "${my topic} site:*.github.io" and you'll have a page about that topic written by someone who is knowledgeable and passionate of the topic. colleges don't teach people how to think like these books/websites do. and i'm fucking sick of people who'd rather see a degree then a portfolio. fuck them shits bro. i can distinct my smart friends because my smart friends speak logically and enjoy becoming smarter. i would take the kid who watches aerodynamics videos on youtube and then built a plane over a kid who studied and got a five on his ap physics exam. watching then doing is better learning than watching and repeating. after all, creativity is not at all measured in our grades, and i'd like to argue that sometimes intelligence isn't even measured. i mean, people can say they're good at math, but the kids who talk about fibinnoci numbers and why there can never be two primes more than 7 (i if i remember properly) integers apart or the ones who prove cryptographic algorithms. i guess what i'm trying to say is the dumb kids aren't dumb and the smart kids aren't smart (well not that) but kids who are passionate and just do something instead of waiting for their degree to do the same thing are the best and brightest. i forgot what i was talking about. sorry it is almost 2 am and i am intoxicated , and i don't believe i got my point across very well either.9 -
Wrote a set of beautiful Swift functions. Runs Xcode, nothing. Checks code...looks good...clean build, delete app, re-install, rebuild...nothing. Checks documentation, watches three videos, re-writes code...nothing. Stares at screen for an hour...realizes I never actually called the functions. Closes laptop, checks self into pysch ward.3
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Me currently in my 3rd year of university: hears about blockchain from my friends, reads 5 pages of ethereum white paper; sees a cool machine learning project, watches 2 weeks of Andrew Ng's course; plays a cool game, downloads Unity and makes a hello world game; hears about wifi vulnerability, purchases an ethical hacking course.
Number of things mastered: 05 -
"rose" of alphonse mucha is my favourite desktop item for the time. she watches over me as i code at home.
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!dev-related
My sister-in-law is a real fucking piece of work. My wife and I pay her to watch our daughter, who is 1.5 years old. She lives with us practically rent free (less than 0.5 of what she was having to pay in rent at her previous living situation). And as of late, my wife and I have been going through rough marital issues. Our marriage counsellor advised as ‘homework’ to write down a few things that would make us happy; individually of our partner, in our relationship.
Something I put down was, ‘that I want our daughter to be more mentally stimulated’ since she’s curious and inquisitive as fucking hell right now. And that I wanted us to find child care that would nurture her more than my sister-in-law does.
(She sits our daughter and one other little girl she watches down in the front room to watch the disney channel all day long. Sometimes she’ll talk to her friends for a few hours throughout the day on the phone. And makes them lunch and snacks when they are hungry.)
I’ve been looking into a daycare center that specializes in teaching kids early reading and writing along with a program that starts at 2 to focus on dancing or on music. They only want like $75 more per week and food and snacks are included in the weekly cost.
That being said I had written down my things for my ‘homework’ assignment. My daughter ended up getting a hold of it and brought it to my sister-in-law who now has a major attitude about this whole thing...
:side note:
My wife and I were struggling financially a bit earlier in the year and she helped us with gas money a few times and helped with some basic groceries and stuff. But today she just threw all of that ‘help’ back into my face.
If I had fucking known that you were going to hold that shit over my head and weaponize it against me because you feel hurt by the fact that you are a shit child care provider in my eyes then you can go smoke a fucking tailpipe you cum guzzling gutter slut!5 -
I did it. I switched from Android to iPhone. Why? Because they came out with a new UI and features with the iPhone X and it’s been 3 years since I’ve owned an iPhone; I don’t like to be left out of new tech.
I already don’t care for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautifully designed phone. The clicks, haptic, and general feel of the phone is great and so is the X’s different UI. But the features? I feel like I’ve gone backwards a few years from where my Galaxy S8 got me. Facial recognition is actually great, but I could have had that with my GS8, but I preferred iris scan.
I forgot my wallet at home and wanted to buy a drink from the drug store by my work. I usually use Samsung pay which uses MFC & NFC so I can just use it with any magnetic reader; no says iPhone. I try to unlock my phone in the car, but there’s not trusted device option like in Android, so I unsafely struggle. I want to sign into my gyms WiFi, but no sign in option pops up like in Android; I’ve got to pull up safari.
I fucking love my Apple Watch though.
It’s definitely better than the Android watches that I’ve tried, and that might keep my with an iPhone much ch longer than I want until a better Android watch comes out.
I just think it’s good not to fanboy anything. Be open, find all the pros and cons.3 -
Alright got an idea I have for my game engine that I'd love some input on...
So the engine has emphasis on user made content and openness to that content (EG. open source dev tools and no licencing of art) but I also want to try and build a basic ecosystem with the engine and one way I'm doing it is with cross game mods (Take a mod from one game and drop it in another and it just works... Famous last words) but something I want to try is a companion app for the engine itself...
So it'll have a custom written save system baked in engine to make progress saving and the like simpler for the end user, thinking about building an app for smart watches and phones that would connect to the engine and actually back up and sync local saves to the app and vice versa as long as they have a connection (Hotspot your phone, bluetooth or wifi) but allow you to manage some data within the app by building a basic API to let devs show the user information about the save and the game by adding description, thumbnails to distinguish games and the like...
Just want opinions if it may be a good idea to invest some time into and if anyone has idea's that could make it better.6 -
Tested a script that watches a folder for any missing folders (team members kept moving them), and then showed it to the guy who was mentoring me. It did what it needed to, so we were going to switch it off the test directory on the local box to the network share.
I had been testing against the live folder for a couple of days, didn't notice, and didn't screw anything up. There was a, "good job you idiot," and he added it right to his big script that runs 24/7. FeelsGoodMan.jpg -
A project called instawish...
Basically its get pictures from famous people instagram ( watches, clothes, shoes ) and allow you to project on yourself using AR (vufforia) just creating the model based on the image. Simple as hell!5 -
So, for my final year project I'm tasked with creating a mobile app for iOS and Android.
A YouTuber I watch avidly decides to go with Xamarin for his next app. Cool, I think: I'll go with Xamarin for my app too (I'd like to test run the app on PCs just for fun).
Looks for Xamarin tutorials, nice, found one! Goes into VS, creates a new project. I add "Hello World" to the centre of the screen.
*F5* Build started... 5 minutes later I come back and it failed. No reason why it failed, all parentheses closed, semicolon at the end of my only line of code.
Watches YouTuber's new video, he has the same problem ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ. He adds a button, builds, build fails. Tries a second time, build succeeds. And this goes on for a couple of minutes while he's troubleshooting the problem.
Oh well. Time for hell I guess.14 -
When I created my first app on RaspberryPi. It was an app that watches window sensors and shows the information about windows status (close or open) and shows the information on web application. Тhis was my first time when I faced with embedded development with Python.
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Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though
You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it
iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors
Change my mind. You won't21 -
Silicon Valley started again yesterday !!!! Yaay...who else here watches this show and well Halt and Catch Fire ?5
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Today on YouTube channels Kiki watches: Fredrik Knudsen.
In my opinion, it has THE most interesting coverage of obscure topics. I loved his two-hours-long video about Deep Blue. Recently, he made a video about EVE Online that is FIVE HOURS long. I know it’s probably very interesting, but can’t build up the courage to start watching.
Oh, and he also covered Mr. Terry A. Davis.
https://youtube.com/@FredrikKnudsen...8 -
>finally gets around to installing vsftpd on home server RPi
>doesn't work
hmm.mp2
>configurating
>confusing as fuck template documentation
>man page isn't much better
>gets it working
>goes to log in
User: pi
Password: a
(What? It's a home file/command server isolated from the Internet. Sue me.)
nope.avi
>why
>tries again
nope.svg
>FUCK
>sees small raw-command log in bottom-right of phone FTP client
hmm.flac
>tries again, watches log
PASS *****
>the fuck
>goes to change user pass over SSH
# passwd
"Current password?"
about half a second later
"passwd: auth token manipulation denied"
>the delay tho
>WAIT A SECOND
one time i got past some parental software bullshit on a tablet by abusing the delay between opening a banned app and the redirect to the normal software at like age 7. (Doing so let me enable remote wipe through Google. bye bye software!)
>*inner 7 year old has autistic screech*
# nano temp
a
abcdefghi
abcdefghi
^O Y ^X
# passwd < temp
>fucking works
>logs in to FTP server successfully
>does the one file download that was needed
why and how did that fucking work -
I get anxious when I try to learn new things.
I'm not even sure how to describe it. Low self esteem? Low confidence? I dunno.
It feels like stage freight, but there's no audience or stage, it's just me and my computer.
No one really ever watches me, or judges me or anything.
I guess I'm a bit self emasculating because I don't really have a reason for feeling ashamed for trying out something in private.
But I feel that the fear, the stress is very distracting and it's limiting my progress.
Now, there's this project I'm rewriting in my company that I'm taking pride in and think that it has the potential to actually increase profits.
The stack is way better, it's visually better, the load times are better, the product is easier to access and try out, bla bla bla.
I guess I never felt truly proud of anything I've ever done in any company, most of what I did felt like grunt work.
But this one is actually a very well designed improvement.
So I'm hoping that this will be the excuse for not needing to prove myself anymore so that my mindset will be something like:
so what if I abandon another side project?
so what if I publish a game that looks like shit?
I may fail at newer projects, but I did win at that project I did in my company, and it wasn't a victory just because I say so, but also because my coworkers and bosses do too.
I don't know what else could help at this point.2 -
So there is this thing called chirp.io which allows you to transmit data via ultrasonic sound. No special hardware needed. Only a mic and a speaker. I wonder why this isnt used in smart watches instead of BLE as it requires even less power. Probably because sound is less penetrating than radio waves??!5
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I found this moth in my room a couple of days ago. Every time I go into my room, he greets me. Whenever I code he sits on my shoulder and watches. My server is pulling a close second though.1
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Just curious what done dev's would prefer screen wise for smart devices like watches and the like...
The long battery life of a colour e-ink display but have the muted colours.
Or an OLED screen with the high contrast and vibrancy, but with much lower battery?4 -
Every dev team has this chatterbox guy, who works as a support, does sometimes whole work in a hour, watches anime for following 7 hours and wants to fix the whole world with JQuery. Still can't imagine working and hanging out without him.
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Hahahahahahahahaha! So when I would go to youtube I only saw videos related to my channels I have chosen. There would be a few interspersed videos that they try to get me to watch. Usually some political indoctrination shit from MSM as well. This is because I have history turned off. They are not supposed to tailor the feed to me based on previous watches.
Today when I went to my main youtube feed it gave me a prompt. The prompt was to either turn on or leave off my history. I said stay off. Now my feed is completely blank. I can see my channels and such, but no feed for me. I am a bad person and get zero feed. That is a weird thing to do youtube. Do you think this is some kind of punishment? Besides, I am sure they collect enough data about my internet usage anyway.
Anyway, this is my feed. I find this amusing:
4 -
TLDR: Read the post.
Part of me watches the day fly by as I work through the various stories and issues my company has as we walk through the various phases and clean up of their own stupidity of outsourcing. I guess it would be unfair to say “stupidity” It was really a money thing. Excuses aside, the alcohol today tastes amazing as I work through the issues, nothing is ever the same, nothing is ever redundant or boring. There are times where you want to pull your hair out, jump off a building and question why the hell any one would write code, specifically Laravel this way.
I watch the internet from now and then and see the cry babies whine and complain about GitHub and Microsoft jumping into bed and their favourite, and mine too, editor falling into Microsoft’s hands.
It’s disgusting and completely childish, but I digress. The last time I was here the alcoholism and the loneliness had begun pushing me towards the Nicotine and suicide. I have managed to obviously push through and watch the money come in only for adult life to take it away, I guess that’s life. Complaining about it will do nothing other then show others how much control you lack in your own life. You quiet your complaints and bury them deep inside your mind where they fester and stir and become drowned in alcohol.
Dating is even harder, especially when you work from home, so much so that I have completely given up there, any semblance of social life is buried in Final Fantasy 14 online, where pixels and text other people write have become my friend, at least for a moment or two before the work takes over and I sit in a room blaring music and watching the code I write, appear on screen like some savant who has high functioning autism but can create amazing works of art. I don’t think I am autistic though.
The truth is I don’t mind my job, I love the money and the freedom as I stated before.
Code for me is like a seed of anger that starts deep in my core, festering, eating away at me, killing me slowly and branding me a fool. The problem is the best feeling, when there is a problem I can solve it with code, when there is a problem that cannot be solved by code I take solace in the problems that can be. I don’t like people, I hate offices and I despise dealing with my own personal issues, I would rather drink and vape until the nicotine and the alcohol has made me sufficiently numb.
Code is a place I can escape, a place I have control, a place where I don’t feel like blowing my brains out at the stupidity of other people. Have I mentioned that I hate people?
The internet is full of idiots, people ranting and raving about this and that and how it affects them oh so much, when they don’t even let their own code, there own programming problems, and in most cases shitty solutions, affect them. Look at this GitHub thing, the idiots are running around with their heads cut off, waiting for the world to end or in most cases acting like it has. Companies get bought, bill get paid, people leave each other – Shut the fuck up and deal with it.
I guess if you look back at what I have written you could say the same thing to me, boo-fucking-hoo working from home sucks sometimes, grow up and deal with it like an adult. Fair enough, I’ll take my lumps. Excuse me as I continue to drink this post away and watch the downvotes come in. I guess honesty comes with a double edge sword.
And yes I would rather use alcohol as a solution then deal with the issues.16 -
what is life if not an eventual step towards sadness?
i have been working professionally in wfh setup since 2020 nd have seen my dad work as a businessman for 20 years , then a fulltime wfo job employee for 5 years. i have been a wfo*(hybrid) employee for last 2 months as this is my first wfo job.
everywhere i go, i am told that the "work-life during covid is a lie, a mere anomaly in otherwise horrific work lifestyles" .
let's consider 3 lifestyles.
1. a software engineer graduated in 2023 and starting his first fulltime office job.
- guy goes to office everyday, travels for 2 hours, changes between a metro , rickshaw nd physical walk, works 9 hours in office, again travels b/w different modes for 2 hours to reach back home, have his dinner, watches some videos nd goes to sleep.
- in office there is no one happy, everyone is either bitching about or buttering someone.
- later he moves naar to office in a rented flat and his travel time is replaced by daily chores, like washjng clothes , cleaning home, stockings supllies and cooking etc.
- life goes on. he eventually starts making some assets (home appliances, car, home etc) and starts saving money. he also gets into relationship , then marriage happens, then kids come. the office days are full of office for all nd weekdays remain source of fun and entertainment for all. kids grow, move out and do the same thing over. death
>> souce of sadness :a monotonous life with no time for happiness in everyday life. he even meets more sad people everyday who are again just bitching, cribbing and lamenting
------
2. a small scale car mechanic with 2 labour.
- almost same life, just a bit more pressure, as he not only has to make sure that his employees are giving him enough output for their income, he also has to ensure that the business keeps running and generating revenues.
for him, their are no time shifts , he needs to ensure the shop door opens at 9am and closes at 9pm for business, while ensuring all the stocks remain available , revenue and sales are documented and business dealings are done. fuck the family fuck the food, fuck the home, he would sleep in his shop if needed and his future family would be just their to unfuck/provide these ignored essentials.
>>> source of happiness : no time/people to emjoy life
----
3. a social media influenza/motivational speaker : these guy hates himself from day 1 . they know they are just a fluke and even though they say they are "not working", they are pulling all the legs to keep their revenue source running : sending posts on trendy things asap, cold mailing, begging for sponserships, publishing content asap.. not sure if a single person exosts who has been a happy social media influenza for last 30 years.
>>> source of sadness : unsatisfactory work, delusional life
---
so what the fuck is wrong with life. i have a board that says "make dotenvironment @64 proud" . i am 24 and following the path of guy 1 in above post. i can prob make myself a proud man by 64 but how can i make myself a "man who lived a happy life" by 64?3 -
AskdevRant
About the watches in the avatar.
Who has time to look at the time when coding? When I code, I am usually stopped by the arrival of dawn T_T3 -
Me: *watches programming video on Y-Combinator*
Also Me: "why the heck are they talking about recursion and not funding startups?"2 -
So. is it possible you fucking freaks could NOT mess up national geographic like you did the history channel ? in fact can we just murder anyone who watches ancient aliens or ever produced a single episode of forged in fire ? or any of this other stupid uninformative bullshit where they use sound effects and cast ruined creatures pretending to be normal and/or decent people ? thanks. this is why we're stuck you know. because you people can't be allowed to completely replace a culture with your bullshit or the world will never recover. civilization will in fact end.16
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I wrote my first proper promise today
I'm building a State-driven, ajax fed Order/Invoice creation UI which Sales Reps use to place purchases for customers over the phone. The backend is a mutated PHP OSCommerce catalog which I've been making strides in refactoring towards OOP/eliminating spahgetti code and the need for a massive bootstrapper file which includes a ton of nonsense (I started by isolating the session and several crucial classes dealing with currency, language and the cart)
I'm using raw JS and jquery with copious reorganization.
I like state driven design, so I write all my data objects as classes using a base class with a simple attribute setter, and then extend the class and define it's attributes as an array which is passed to the parent setter in the construct.
I have also populateFromJson method in the parent class which allows me to match the attribute names to database fields in the backend which returns via ajax.
I achieve the state tracking by placing these objects into an array which underscore.js Observe watches, and that triggers methods to update the DOM or other objects.
Sure, I could do this in react but
1) It's in an admin area where the sales reps using it have to use edge/chrome/Firefox
2) I'm still climbing the react learning curve, so I can rapid prototype in jquery faster instead of getting hung up on something I don't understand
3) said admin area already uses jquery anyway
4) I like a challenge
Implementing promises is quickly turning messy jquery ajax calls into neat organized promise based operations that fit into my state tracking paradigm, so all jquery is responsible for is user interaction events.
The big flaw I want to address is that I'm still making html elements as JS strings to generate inputs/fields into the pseudo-forms.
Can anyone point me in the direction of a library or practice that allows me to generate Dom elements in a template-style manner.4 -
Fuuuuu I tried sideloading the devrant app on my Android watch but it kept crashing so I did a logcat over ADB and saw they use function that don't work on watches. So Damm sad I wanted to watch some rants way more sneaky5
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Are we actually able to measure if a person drank enough by any means? Like wouldn't it be nice if smart watches actually tell you that you need to drink something to keep you healthy instead of just reminding in set intervals?6
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I want to emulate a dial input because skeuomorphism is cool. I thought it would be nice to freeze the mouse pointer while a dial is clicked so it doesn't wander off to the void while the user watches the dial value. Do you think this is a good idea? Also, is there any gui toolkit that allows this?4
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Ever tried explaining software development to your grandma? It's like narrating a sci-fi movie to someone who only watches period dramas. "Can you fix my computer?" they ask, as if coding automatically qualifies me for IT support. And those midnight meetings? It's like they think engineers are nocturnal creatures powered by coffee and keyboard clicks.3
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Downloads a whole bunch of training videos.
-this looks interesting (clicks magnet link)
-I want to learn this (clicks magnet link)
-This would be useful to know (clicks magnet link)
Watches 1 out of 100000 downloads
10+TB data
Secretly waiting for matrix like learning -
I point out to a guy which documentation and which section he should read to solved his problem, 30minutes later I swing by and the dude sits and watches tutorials on YouTube. I ask him "did you figure it out and solved the problem?", he replies " nah! This tutorial is really great, it shows step by step...blah blah.. I can send it to you! We should all watch it tomorrow after standup" ... Really? He honestly believes were getting paid to drink latte watch tutorials on YouTube? I almost imploded at that point, went into "whatever"-mode and seriously pondered how much mentoring sucks some days. But seriously tutorials on the tube were targeted for 14year old beginners a last time I checked,did the world do a double revolution and left me behind?? Or is that guy just plainly trying to hide the fact how incompetent he is at reading docs?
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Hey guys, my apple watch series 2 got broken recently. It doesn’t charge at all. It’s like electricity what’s that?
So I did all troubleshooting you can think of and all the ones on the web. Still no go.
Although some ppl reported that after a week or so their watches started charging again and didn’t have the problem anymore(which points out to some software error and once battery completely drained it kinda reset itself?). Anyway my battery is dead like nothing ever comes up on the screen anymore but still doesn’t charge.
I wanted to ask if anyone here had such problem and found a solution to it maybe?2
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