"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

After listening to two of our senior devs play ping pong with a new member of our team for TWO DAYS!
DevA: "Try this.."
Junior: "Didn't work"
DevB: "Try that .."
Junior: "Still not working"

I ask..
Me:"What is the problem?"
Few ums...uhs..awkward seconds of silence

Junior: "App is really slow. Takes several seconds to launch and searching either crashes or takes a really long time."
DevA: "We've isolated the issue with Entity Framework. That application was written back when we used VS2010. Since that application isn't used very often, no one has had to update it since."
DevB: "Weird part is the app takes up over 3 gigs of ram. Its obviously a caching issue. We might have to open up a ticket with Microsoft."
Me: "Or remove EF and use ADO."
DevB: "That would be way too much work. The app is supposed to be fully deprecated and replaced this year."
Me: "Three of you for the past two days seems like a lot of work. If EF is the problem, you remove EF."
DevA: "The solution is way too complicated for that. There are 5 projects and 3 of those have circular dependencies. Its a mess."
DevB: "No fracking kidding...if it were written correctly the first time. There aren't even any fracking tests."
Me:"Pretty sure there are only two tables involved, maybe 3 stored procedures. A simple CRUD app like this should be fairly straight forward."
DevB: "Can't re-write the application, company won't allow it. A redesign of this magnitute could take months. If we can't fix the LINQ query, we'll going to have the DBAs change the structures to make the application faster. I don't see any other way."

Holy frack...he didn't just say that.

Over my lunch hour, I strip down the WPF application to the basics (too much to write about, but the included projects only had one or two files), and created an integration test for refactoring the data access to use ADO. After all the tests and EF removed, the app starts up instantly and searches are also instant. Didn't click through all the UI, but the basics worked.

Sat with Junior, pointed out my changes (the 'why' behind the 'what') ...and he how he could write unit tests around the ViewModel behavior in the UI (and making any changes to the data access as needed).

Today's standup:
Junior: "Employee app is fixed. Had some help removing Entity Framework and how it starts up fast and and searches are instant. Going to write unit tests today to verify the UI behaivor. I'll be able to deploy the application tomorrow."
DevA: "What?! No way! You did all that yesterday?"
Me: "I removed the Entity Framework over my lunch hour. Like I said, its basic CRUD and mostly in stored procedures. All the data points are covered by integration tests, but didn't have time for the unit tests. It's likely I broke some UI behavior, but the unit tests should catch those."
DevB: "I was going to do that today. I knew taking out Entity Framework wouldn't be a big deal."

Holy fracking frack. You fracking lying SOB. Deeeep breath...ahhh...thanks devRant. Flame thrower event diverted.

Android Development be like:

- Has great idea for app or feature
- Boots up PC
- Starts android studio and creates new project
- Build error
- Gradle build failed
- Android studio crashes
- Java Error
- Shutsdown PC
- Goes and hangs himself

Pretty accurate if you ask me 😀😀😀😎

* Finishing up my English NLP for my App *

Me: Finally it’s ready. Now my app can understand everything that the users say.

* I get my first millennial user *

My App: Hello there! Would you like to ask me a question?

User: yesn’t

My App: * crashes *

"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
"Fuck this"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
*alt+f4*

> installs devRant app on my iPhone
> too lazy to type my 18-char random password on mobile
> password manager app not on App Store yet
> dig up my old Macbook
> install XCode & homebrew package manager
> install 2 other package managers using homebrew
> install App deps from the 2 package managers
> query stackoverflow for why my deps fail to install
> open App in XCode
> setup Apple provisioning profile
> trust my certificate on my iPhone
> dig up an old router & setup a local WiFi network
> start a server on my laptop to serve my PGP keys
> download my PGP keys to my iPhone
> app crashes
> open an issue on github with steps to reproduce & stacktrace
...
> type my 18-char random password
> rant on how I wasted an entire afternoon

Best: My first app on the play store got over 2000 downloads in 3 days, best Christmas present ever.

Worst: An update I published caused an equivalent of 1/4 of my user base worth of crashes. :/

Hey everyone - I just wanted to update our Android users on the push notification crash that has been occurring.

The good news is the issue should be fixed in the update I just pushed out (should be available in the Google Play Store within a few hours). We apologize for the crashes and thank everyone for their patience.

I'm still looking in to what actually happened here. Our GCM library hasn't been updated in a while and all of a sudden a specific case started failing. I'll continue to look in to how that seemingly happened with no changes in the app. Some other users of the library started experiencing the same issue.

"So what do you do?"
"I am a software engineer"

3 most frequent conversation routes

1. "I have some great app ideas maybe you could help me..."
2. "My computer/phone crashes frequently, what is wrong with it?..."
3. "so how many software/games/mobile apps have you developed?..."

devRant Android users - if you are a user who can consistently reproduce a devRant app crash and wouldn't mind helping me please let me know. You can comment here or email me at david@devrant.io

I'm trying to get rid of a couple of remaining crashes that seem to be happening in the Android app but we've never really been able to reproduce any of them. Thanks!

Application has had a suspected memory leak for years. Tech team got developers THE EXACT CODE that caused it. Few months of testing go by, telling us they're resolving their memory leak problem (finally).

Today: yeah, we still need restarts because we don't know if this new deployment will fix our memory leak, we don't know what the problem is.

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING IN THE LOWER REGIONS FOR THREE FUCKING MONTHS?!?!?! HAVING A FUCKING ORGY???????????????

My friends took the time to find your damn problem for you AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS???

It was in lower regions for 3 MONTHS and you don't know how it's impacting memory usage?!?!?! DO YOU WANT TO STILL HAVE A JOB? BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU. YOU DON'T DESERVE YOUR FUCKING JOB IF YOU CAN'T FUCKING FIX THIS.

Every time your app crashes, even though I don't need to get your highest level boss on anymore for approval to restart your server, I'M GOING TO FUCKING CALL HIM AND MAKE HIM SEE THAT YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT. Eventually, he'll get so annoyed with me, your shit will be fixed. AND I WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR USELESS ASS ANYMORE.

(Rant directed at project manager more than dev. Don't know which is to blame, so blaming PM)

Don't ever ever forget to push before leaving office.
I repeat : Don't ever ever forget to push!
Sends app to client.
At home and decides to check if the changes actually worked just to realize it crashes because i forgot to comment out my dummy test data.

*On a bus back to the office at midnight*

QA: did you test the app first?
Dev: Yes, I test all my code all the time.

*QA crashes the app within first 5 seconds.*

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---

> Customer logs Jira ticket claiming app is not working
< I restart the app, investigate and explain tht their server has issues
ø Client closes the ticket as Resolved
-- a couple of days pass by ---
<...>

< I log a JIRA ticket explaining what and how is wrong with the server with suggestions how to fix the problem so the app will not crash any longer (client own the server, has his own sysadmins -- I don't even had permissions to open syslog.. had to hack dmesg on their PROD server to pin-point the issue)
> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket

× app crashes again

> no reaction from customer for weeks. I ping the ticket
> customer leaves a comment that their sysadmins are looking at it trying to figure out what might be wrong (ignoring what I wrote in ticket's description??? srsly?)

× app crashes again
< I post detail investigation details: snips from logs, screenshots, everything with crystal clear explanations.

> no reaction for weeks
......

well that's fun..

That moment you write your full rant, want to submit it, but in that very same moment the app crashes.

Now my rant is gone, but I'm not angry enough anymore.

I still wanna rant😑

TIL: If your app crashes, just call the problem a minor glitch.

Wow, the new React app looks so amazing. Lets test is on different browsers.
Chrome ✓
Firefox ✓
Opera ✓
... ✓
IE 11 ...
1. I am on Mac
2. Let's install virtual box
3. Let's install Windows 7 in virtual box
4. Open IE8
5. Open IE11 download page.
6. IE8 crashes
7. Download and install Google chrome using IE
8. Restart Windows
9. Open staging url on IE11
10. **cking blank screen welcomes you.

Me: Requirements changed a lot since we first started. If we re-write a few sections of the app we can drastically reduce bugs, crashes, improve debug-ability etc.

PM: sure let me push back this unnecessary feature and you can do that next.

*woke up*

*cried at the thought of how amazing life would be*

It's my first week working at shithole.co (can i say that?). My boss is a micromanaging asshole who knows the bare minimum re: programming. He thinks css is hard (no offense). I'm fresh outta college. He expects me to be able to do a very complicated api development through an equally complicated authorization process. Every fucking day "Is it working yet?" [This is my first week on the job]. I don't think he's read the documentation and I don't think he understands how to. As I am typing this out I realize I'm more educated than this dumb ass. Oh, some more context. Our senior dev is working on a more important project So we don't have time to bother him? So I am doing his job for 1/10 the cost. Oh, and i'm not allowed to contact him because he is too important. When the app inevitably crashes and no one knows how to fix it. I will give them my nutsack to swallow (can i say that?).

I'm sorry, but the Apple App Store review team sometimes doesn't have the slightest clue what they're doing. Some things they usually reject me for, I can literally name 100 apps that violate that same thing, that are ON the App Store.

But the one that always gets me the most, is they will reject your app for not having extremely strict blocking/reporting features in your app (if it involves user-generated content). Okay, I get this, so I implement it. But they reject my app without even looking for them.

It's a CHAT app, so I put the block button INSIDE the chat conversation (right? normal UX? am I crazy?), and they reject it because they couldn't find the block button on the first screen (a screen that didn't even have chats, they screenshotted the SIGN UP screen LOL).

What a joke. Normally I wouldn't care but this update that I'm trying to get approved is essential and fixes some important crashes that have been happening to 13% of active users.

*In the final weeks of development with a project on a short timeline because the client "needs it".*

Client: "We've hired a consultant we want you to work with."

Me: "Okay, can we push this to after the delivery?"

Client: "Of course"

Wake up to an email from the consultant with a list of scripts he just ran on the production database server for the currently live app.

Get follow-up emails about bugs and app crashes from the client.

My rage is so hot it can keep warm an Eskimo tribe over the winter season.

Arrived at office then almost immediately the boss, who's also a developer, tells me he changed something on the protocol/api.

Me thinking: u just broke the api without thinking on consequences but hey... Ur the boss...

Later, he says: look, our app crashes!

Me: obviously...

:/ what the f**k was he thinking... :/

// TODO: Show this to my manager next time my app crashes during review

Also on crashing: My app logout is so efficient it crashes everything

Wasted 7 hours for this:
import moment from 'moment'

Should be:
var moment = require('moment')

What happened? When app running in debug mode all is working without issues! When generating release APK, it crashes when using moment

Fucking hybrid shit apps...

App: *Crashes*
Every Android user in the universe: I MUST SCREENSHOT IT AND SEND TO DEVELOPER, SYSTEM CRASH DIALOG WILL DEFINITELY HELP TO FIX THAT

WHAT THE FUCK.
I have to deal with a fucking bug that crashes my app only when I'm NOT looking for it.
I investigate another bug? Then BAM, here it is and crashes the app. And I have to start over again find the right conditions to not trigger it again.
I investigate that bug? Nope, everything runs as smooth as velvet.

It's like a Heisenbug, but the cat is dead in the box AND pissing all over the lab at the same time.

So working on the Android for work, and go to add in images for parts of the app. I add in images and load the app up and it crashes, I thought hmm maybe I missed something for the imageview.

The exception was an out of memory exception and from looks of it, it exceeded my phone memory by quite a bit (OnePlus 3 has 8gb LOL), I was stumped since I don't typically run into this.

Turns out this time around it wasn't my fault lol, I had some images outsourced to a company our company uses for doing design work and well Android doesn't like 2000 x 2000 super high quality for logos.

I mean sure it's good it's high quality but to have 3 images eat up a lot of memory (I assume my phone won't allocate all 8gb to one app lol).

I know it's not trending anymore but talking about poor products - the Pokemon GO app! I mean, that shit is the Windows Vista of apps. Never before have I seen a product that crashes on the simplest gui tasks.

And after a month they finally roll an update which consists of.. "Minor text fixes"! $#%!

Alright, seems like I have to buy this.

Ps: I believe to have found a bug in Devrant's Android App: if you attach an image to your rant and tab out afterwards it crashes for me

> "The images are loading too slow. Make it faster!"

>"I can increase the offscreen limit of the viewpager but.."

> "Do that!"

*.... wild OutOfMemoryException appears*

> "The app crashes! Fix that!"

> "That is because of the offscreen limit we ju..."

>"Just fix it"

"...."

App crashes

"See logs for detail"

*reads logs"

"See logs for details"

*screams in pain*

Thanks to McDonald's for such a wonderful morning... And this may explain why a busy store is now empty...

-Order mobile deal at home
-Walk 15mins to the restaurant
-Opens app, get message "your account has been deleted"

*WTF!!!!!*

-Tried to sign up with Google, error
-Sign up with Facebook, OK!!

(btw I got a privacy message from Google this morning... Haven't got one from FB yet... hmm...)

-tried to redeem again. All coupons are like "not available at this location"

Well since I'm here anyway...

-Walks to machines and enters the codes, it works!!!!

FFS MCD JUST TELL PPL THESE COUPONS CAN BE REDEEMED IN STORE ONLY!!!! AND DON'T RANDOMLY DELETE ACCOUNT BC YOU CAN'T SUPPORT GPDR OR UR SYSTEM CRASHES FROM AN INTERNAL BUG

Lucky I redeemed my free coffee last week...

-Programming my mobile app
-Need to debug something
-App crashes instantly (only) when I try to use debugger.

Guess no more debugging. FML

Slack's android app crashes if I hold a message to put my emoji reaction on it.

A Microsoft Teams call link needs to be opened in 4-5 tabs only one of which works and actually lets you join the call.

Droidcam's Ubuntu client suddenly stops working even when you're using a wired connection instead of WiFi.

Modern software is in the gutter. Change my mind.

I really need to kick Tim Cook in the ass.
“Everything Works”, yeah tell that to your dead dog.
Debugging watchos experience:
I need to uninstall main app for watch app to register changes in code.
Xcode crashes during debugging.
Cannot SET custom keys in Info.plist, in watch target, ohhhh goood, but thats where app configuration is set, how and why do you care about simple string keys!!! What now i need to send that configuration from main app??
Tim Cook just go die please, you have ruined apple.

I just want to fix a small bug in a .net app but visual studio crashes are making it take forever.

Tried to open 'Recent App Crashes' tab in the Google Play Console app. Play Console crashed. Thanks Google.

So, I work in a game development studio, right?
We're trying to launch the title on as many platforms as reasonable, because as a social VR app we're kinda rowing upstream.
So far, Steam and Oculus have been fairly reasonable, if oddly broken and inconsistent.
Enter store 3.
Basically no in-game transaction support (our asking prompted them to *start* developing it. No, it's not very complete). No patch-update system (You want an update? Gotta download the whole fsckin' thing!). No beta-testing functionality for most of their stuff ("Just write the code like the example, it will work, trust us!"). No tools besides the buggy SDK (Wanna upload that new build? Say hello to this page in your web browser!).
So, in other words: Fun.

We've been trying to get actively launched for two months now. Keep in mind that the build has been up on Steam and Oculus for over a year and half a year (respectively), so the actual binary functionality is, presumably fine.

The best feedback we get back tends to be "Well, when we click the Launch button it crashes, so fail."
Meanwhile we're going back and forth, dealing with other-side-of-the-world timezone lag, trying to figure out what is so different from their machines as ours. Eventually we get them to start sending logs (and no, Windows Event logs are not sufficient for GAMES, where did you even get that idea????) except the logs indicate that the program is getting killed so terribly that the engine's built-in crash handler can't even kick in to generate memory dumps or even know it died.

All this boils down to today, where I get a screenshot of their latest attempt.

I just can't even right now.

Snapchat is a piece of shit app. My phone (Moto G5 Plus) is far from spectacular, but ive never used an app that freezes and crashes more than that piece of shit app.

If they'd take Apple's dick out their mouth for a week and work on making the app less shitty for Android, that'd be fucking awesome. Or ya know...stop making some good awful update that looks like shit and fix the fucking app first.

Ok, so I REALLY HATE ChromeOS. MY story is this: I'm using Chrome, and I want to get a file from my computer to my phone. Simple enough, I just plug my phone in, and... oh, wait! First it has to open two new windows for my phone's two storage areas. Ok, fine. I close the windows, get my file prepared, and I click/drag it over to the folder I want. Except, the computer doesn't FUCKING see it as a device anymore. It knows it's attached, but it doesn't fucking communicate with it. Ok, maybe it's a cord problem. Nope! Same issue. Maybe I need to update? Nuh-uh! That doesn't work either, since my computer's not supported anymore! And, the cherry on the top of the fucking shitcake that this whole situation is, the Files app, the one that you use to view the stuff on your hard disk? OH, IT JUST GOES AND CRASHES. I can open it! Nothing shows up. No devices work. It's just stuck like that until I reboot my machine.

God... FUCKING damnit, chromeOS.

After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.

Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.

The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".

After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!

What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!

Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.

Dear other developers,

Don't throw exceptions in async callbacks goddammit. It doesn't abort the outer function where you think it does, and it crashes the app because you can't catch it.

PO1: Hey, PO2 just told me that he experiences a lot of crashes in our iOS app!

Me: Whoa! The app hasn’t had any crashes since ages. The testers haven’t reported crashes either. (Me in panic mode). I will ask PO2 about some details about the crashes.

Me to PO2: So, can you please describe me when the crash happens?

PO2: (long story about error messages and UI quirks and how he force quits the app to make them disappear)

Me: OK thanks for that info. Those are definitely valid problems that we have not encountered yet. But none of them are crashes. So are there any other problems that cause crashes?

PO2: Yes and no. (Long story and more problems)

Me: ok we need to investigate that. But are there crashes?

PO2: (Something that doesn’t answer the question)

Me: I need to ask explicitly again: Are there actual crashes where the app closes itself automatically?

PO2: No, that has never happened.

Just learnt perfectly what the below joke means:

'I wanted to improve the world, but they wouldn't give me the source code'

I really don't understand why the world is full of obsolete processes that people fight against daily when changing things ever so slightly could take the weight of the world off their shoulders. The same thing goes for my work, I work in finance, and we use a remote app built in Windows forms (not xaml or wpf, the original forms) and it's insecure, slow, buggy, and crashes whenever you press ESC (yes, really). Even worse, I've offered to rewrite their whole network for nothing, just the improvement to people's lives. And they say no! WELL FUCK YOU FOR BEING A PLAGUE ON THE FUCKING WORLD! Why do people insist on staying behind the times when the world could be such a beautiful place?!?

I didn't posted something in a long time so...

TL;DR: FUCK YOU ANDROID STUDIO YOU FUCKING SHIT PIECE OF SOFTWARE

Thank you for your time.

I am running my own meme social network. For quite some time I wished I knew a Android developer, which could help me.

Because I know java I tried it myself, and Android studio is one of the worst programms I've ever seen.

My app crashed the whole time, just because my studio version was 1 behind. Updated studio, everything worked.

My layout wasn't showing correctly, reopened Studio, all layouts deleted.

For no good reason video views aren't resizing, so I need to use exoplayer.

One video on my platform nearly crashes the app when creating a thumbnail.

And so one....

I fucking hate Android studio...

(PS: if your a German, Swiss, Austrian you could check out my network and may become a beta tester of the app)

My mom keeps giving me stick about not eating properly..

How can you eat when your app crashes so bad that you entertain the thought of starting over again?

Why I hate my job some days, the whole app crashes if you expand the details, then hit edit but is fine if you hit edit then expand the details. You gotta be kidding me.

devRant is messed up!
I often open the app (iOS), see a rant that I want to read, tap on it, and the app crashes.
Now I almost got used to that shit but for some reason when I open the app again, that rant that I wanted to read is gone! Never to be found again!
No matter how often I reload, how much I scroll down, it’s simply gone.

This annoys me more than it should maybe. But seriously, wtf is wrong with this platform? I don’t know if it’s only the iOS app but so many other things are broken here, it’s disturbing. And those problems are there for many years, nobody seems to care. 😩

Don’t get me wrong, I like devRant. It’s the only social platform that I use. But… ugh…

Recently i learned about pipes in C#. I made 2 simple console apps(client and server) in visual studio. They work flawlessly. After that i made plugin for unity that uses those pipes. (because i want to crunch numbers in .net 4.7 app and display results in unity). Every function in my plugin is wrapped in try-catch block. Unity frezzes/crashes everytime i try to use my plugin 😥

**Attention @johnmelodyme and all AltRant testers**

I just pushed a quick bugfix update to AltRant, in the hope that it will fix the crashes that were reported. I felt like the app's dodgy situation wasn't up to my standard of quality so I worked as fast as I could to fix the issues, as people are actually starting to prefer my app over the original. Please make sure to perform a full reinstall of the app before continuing, because I actually wasn't experiencing the issues described in my initial testing before releasing the update that needed fixing.

Snapchat is by far the worst app ever developed. I like the concept but the actual development of the app is fucking garbage. It hurts my head that they haven't given a fuck about usability, optimisation or anything for that matter considering its one of the top social media platforms. It disgusts me, though Instagram has completely ripped off Snapchat in so many ways; they've done a hell of a better job at it and if people weren't so tired to SC I'm sure it would be dead by now.

Slow UI, slow gestures, probably the highest amount of bugs and crashes, shit camera because it thinks it can do a better job than the native API at rendering, painfully slow upload, stupid "featured" stories that you cannot get rid off and slow the fuck out of the app, battery drain even worse than FB, oh and not to forget that once you accidentally enable your location it's impossible to switch it off, the best you can do is hide it from everyone. I can probably go on and on with the endless issues this shit has.

MSG for dfox and trogus
Hey guys, have you seen my bug reports?
For all the others.. Do you have a bug where your app crashes when uploading a IMG from Android or is it just me?

Sick af
Eyes burning
App crashes right before demo
I did a 16 hour while sick exactly to make sure this wouldn't happen.

I'm at my absolute limit for anyone expecting anything from me. Also my phone is broken

when a single python indent error crashes your entire web app, and the error logs don't pick up the issue -.-

So I made an update to my React Native app. I changed UI of a couple of screen, added a few animations here and there, refactored how my graphQL resolvers work in the backend(no breaking changes), changed how data gets loaded into the database etc.

It worked in dev so I figured hey let's deploy it. Today is(was because it's now 3am but more on that later) a national holiday so no one goes to work so no one will use my app so I have an entire day to deploy.

I started at 15:00(because i woke up at 13:00 lol). I tested the update once again in dev and proceeded to deploy it to prod. I merged backend to master, built docker images, did migrations on the db, restarted docker-compose with new images. And now for the app. I run ./gradlew assembleRelease and it starts complaining that react-native-gesture-handler is not installed. Ugh, rm -rf node_modules && yarn install. It worked. But now gradlew crashes and logs don't tell me anything. Google tells me to change a bunch of gradle settings but none of them work. Fast forward 5h, it's around 20:00 and I isolated the issue to, again, react-native-gesture-handler. They updated from 2.2.4 to 2.3.0 which didn't fucking compile. 2 more hours passed (now 22:00) and I got v2.3.1 working which fixed the problem in 2.3.0 but made my app crash on startup. YOUR FUCKING LIBRARY GETS 250K WEEKLY DOWNLOADS AND YOU DONT EVEN BOTHER CHECKING IF IT COMPILES IN PROD ON ANDROID?! WHAT THE FUCK software-mansion?

After I solved that, my app didn't crash. Now it threw an error "Type errors: Network Request Failed" every time I fetch my legacy REST API(older parts use rest and newer use graphql. I'll refactor that in the next update). I'll spare you the debugging hell i went through but another 5h passed. Its 3am. My config had misspelled url to prod but good for dev... I hate myself and even more so react-native-gesture-handler.

I'm developing a web app, which is purely based on some commercial .NET driven API. The documentation is a 12 page MS Word file with incorrect parameters and non-existing endpoints. I think there's also a cronjob which purposely crashes their server every 15minutes. I just love getting client emails saying I need to fix my app and get my shit together.

So I'm not sure on how much Youtube can fuck up so much in a short time, but I'm actually suprised.
And I'm not just tslking of all the shady/bullshit bahavior and reasoning on content creators, but also on how this shitty new app is just one clusterfuck of not working shit.

One if the easiest features there is - the damn shuffle feature for a damn playlist - doesn't properly work since the first day it went live. Are you shitting me? Even after a felt decade they are still not able to fix it. Yet alone showing more than 200 in the playlist items (when a video is already playing)

But a simple feature which is useful to nearly everyone and which worked before is surely no problem when the damn service itself would work.
Aside that the app sometimes randomly crashes when leaving fullscreen mode (desktop) and making it for some magical way impossible to interact with the browser (WTF?!) until you resize it or wait for an eternity to relase you from that suffer.

On top of that pile of garbage, the videos don't load properly anymore. Whats the fucking point of showing how much of a video is supposidly loaded when you skip forward for 5sec and it has to buffer for 10 to continue?

Well, if that were to at least only happen when the video is skipped forwards/backwards. On some strange occasion (Probably when the stars arrange properly) than your connection to the servers is back in the stoneage. Because otherwise I can't explain how the fuck it has to lower the resolution down to 360p and STILL buffer. I have a fucking 10MByte/s+ DL rate, ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!

Now after over 1.5k chars I notice I maybe a bit over the top ... BUT FUCK IT. I mean, it's fucking youtube ffs. If the biggest videoplatform can't even create a properly working webapp, then what the fuck are you doing google?

When an app repeatedly crashes, has a bunch of open bugs and you think.

"Oh just give me the code I'll fix it myself!"

Quickly followed by the realisation that you're now channelling a young RMS...

The iOS DevRant app is so bad, sometimes it just crashes when I try to open a rant... wth DevRant how can you fuck this up so badly?

I submitted to the bug reporter many times and they don’t do much...

I think it related to the app crashes, but now, instead of crashing, the app thinks it has no internet and loads forever things. Usually happens when I put the app in the background and don’t force close it.

Closing the app multiple times and switching to other apps fixes it, most of the time, not always.

But it still crashes. Less... but it still does, no specific patterns to see.

iPhone 6S

Dear Xcode,

You are a lovely IDE. Especially when an app crashes and the crash stops once I restart you. I am your friend forever.

Yours always,

Slick mouth/Pissed Off Developer

Oh the irony! Was checking my app’s crashes on fabric.io iOS app....

And you know what.. Fabric crashed! 🤣 😄 😄

IMAGE COMPRESSION QUESTION

lets say i upload a 100x100 photo from my android device. this image has a size of e.g. 2MB. not a lot. if i compress it then the size will be e.g. 300kB. cool. upload is thunderbolt for any internet speed.

lets consider this case. a random ass motherfucker decides it is cool to upload a 10000x10000 image that has a size e.g. 300MB. compressing this would be e.g. 150MB which is still a lot as fuck for one pic.

heres my question: where should the compression be handled? at backend (REST API server) or client (android image compression library)?

because if i try to send a 150MB pic to the server and their internet sucks but to be fucking honest even the best internet speed would take way too long to upload, is it better to do the compression on the backend or client?

or should i do compression in android? if i should do compression on client then should i;
1) do the compression on the main thread with a progress dialog to wait them until the compression + PLUS the fucking upload is done or
2) do the compression + THE upload in a background thread in which case it can be dangerous for verbose amount of fuckups (internet dies phone explodes etc) and the app crashes

which (one) option of the 2 suboptions from the second parent option branch?

of course this is an extremely unrealistic case, it is possible but thats not my point: my point is WHERE SHOULD THE COMPRESSION (as some kind of universal standard) BE HANDLED AT?

One of the founders of my startup does not write tests....

Me: we have to all write tests. I explain unit tests, integration, etc.

Him: I do... I have a test that checks if the app crashes or not.

Me: that is not what I meant (writes test because he won’t) 🙄

So I got assigned to this project last week to help other developers to remove bugs from a android app. First bug I have to deal with: field that should only accept integers is accepting other characters and thus crashes the app.

Alright seems like a simple bug to get into the project and Xamarin. So I set some break points and find the bug: "uncaught FormatException on line 789 Convert.ToInt(string, v) .

OK then, implement some try-catch and add a warning message to the user.

let's try it out... alright, message works, close message and app crashes

-Tsc... dammit

search for the bug in code... "uncaught FormatException on line 899 Convert.ToInt(string, v)"

what the...

wait a minute, ~ Ctrl + F ~ - "Convert.ToInt"

17 matches on file

oh fuck me...

You know you need a new pc when android studio freezes after you app crashes when trying to print out the exception but Crashlytics is faster by sending you an email.

More and more, I am getting frustrated/depressed from the attitude of our customers who complain, moan and get angry about issues in their infrastructure, while at the same time, refusing to pay more so the issues could be mitigated.

Like, a client's angry with us today for having one of their non-production-critical databases inaccessible for... Hmm... About 8 hours now (So a whole workday).

Like... I get it, some of your employees couldn't work with it offline, but like... What the hell do we do? You keep data from as far back as several years ago in there, without partitioning, without exports, in a mix of innodb and myisam, so when the DB crashes, and its replication has to be reset from zero, reimporting all the data takes hours upon hours, and importing .sql files just takes time.

Or another client who got angry when their app fell out of the internet, cuz one of their myisam-based log tables crashed, and had to be repaired, with data spanning several years back, meaning it took hours to fix...

The more I work with these "basic" and "simple" infrastructure designs that is *not* redundant, or HA, the more I wonder -- How do the big names out there do it? How do you design systems with fault tolerance so a single DB table crash doesn't lead to the whole app getting inaccessible?

We have... One, exactly one, client, who uses MariaDB with Gallera, and that cluster is *amazing*, it just keeps chugging along, without a care in the world. But it cost them quite a lot, as they had to buy 3 DB servers, instead of 1...

That feeling when your app crashes on the home screen, because you forget to update some code from the previous version. How many of you guys have gone through this before?

Ever happened,.. ? the whole Application crash due to a bug in one of the libraries used and you skim through the code a million times, make a billion changes but the app still crashes.

And then one day I make a change in the API request params in the android app and guess what the iOS app crashes on open :/

WASTED MY ENTIRE DAY AJD ENTIRE NIGHT.
MY flutter app isn’t running on iPhone simulator!!! I cleaned and deleted derived data and cleaned thousand times but it crashes at startup without error! What the fuckkkkk do I do!!????
Oh and my iPhone is not being recognised by any IDE Idk why. :((((((((( pls m so miserable pls dnt :(

New AltRant release!

Release Notes:

- Transitioned to URLCache-based caching solution for attached images for much faster loading times
- Fixed many layout issues
- Finally added "more info" button in profile screen after 2 years of the feature being absent from the app
- Fixed many different crashes
- Added rant refreshing
- Added double tap to upvote on rants and comments
- Added creation date/time indicators on rants and comments
- Added comment count indicator in post cells in feeds

All users are required to test every aspect of the app.

I worked really hard on all of this to improve every single aspect of this app - from responsiveness to crashes and layout glitches, while also adding many features that were absent for a crazy amount of time! Please enjoy!

The last build will expire in a week from now.

So occasionally I click on a comment notification and the app crashes

A new Android app I made went from 100-ish users to 0 due to a mistake in ProGuard config causing crashes upon an incremental update... I'm losing motivation.. devRant, what should I do to gain it back? :(

I still hate Android Studio :( :( :(

Worked all morning on my project, debugging, no problem.

Now all of a sudden it crashes whenever I try to debug. java.lang.ClassNotFoundException - random classes.
But it runs fine if I just run the app.

I reverted to my last working commit, and it still does that. I restarted my computer. No luck.

I disabled Instant Run. No luck.

I tried to upgrade gradle to 3.3 - no luck. That's the extent of stack overflow suggestions for similar errors.

I am stumped. What has changed in the middle of a work-session when I have not changed any settings in the IDE, have not updated anything.

Aaarrgh!

Why devrant ios app crashes so much? At least 3 times a day.

Freelancers, how many hours would you charge your client per small projects?

Situation is that I am leaving country but will still work as a freelancer android dev in my company at hourly rate 27EUR/hour.

Now from experience I already feel that most specifications of tasks/ux-ui sketches will be not clear/vague. Also there is a question of overall app architecture, prevention from crashes, memory leaks and etc.

Basically they will give me some spec and I will have to evaluate how long it will take to do it. I never worked as a freelancer so I need some advice on how to deal with problems like this. If I guess that something might take 5 working days to be done (40h) should I charge for 60h and etc.?

Just checked on AltRant in the App Store Connect dashboard, and got a nasty surprise: a pile (22 in total) of crashes, all of them because of things I never thought would cause a crash...

Thank you for all the feedback, today I am going on an army exam. After that - bugfixes are supposed to arrive soon.

Spent like half an hour messing with our web app code crashing on a cryptic error just to discover that a Chrome extension released a buggy version (automatically installed, of course) which crashes all pages using it (there are even some big pages in production being affected like something from atlassian).
Great, just wonderful job guys...

I effing hate Google Play & Google Play Console.

I've uploaded an app and the troubles haven't ended. It is a different error on different devices. Some of them are compile time, some of them run time, some of them just functions the way its not suppose to. And the worst part is that there is no way to track these errors. Google Play Console is utter Horse crap. People tell me that my app crashes and the console reports "nothing to show" under the crashes page.

My app crashes without any reasons, and i've changed the SDK, then the app works!

One of those debugging days where minutes feel like hours, and hours like days.

I had the bad luck of being asked to dive into a legacy project which was unmaintained for months, but of course it's still on prod. And very suddenly the urgent need arrises to change stuff.

Yet: the docker stack won't work. It builds fine but the stack crashes.

Long story short: some internal api URI were renamed and at some point one internal api started to always require an access token. Which we set for the stage, prod env yet somebody forgot to mention that to the devs of legacy-project.

That ain't too bad.

WHAT IS FUCKING BAD IS THAT YOUR SHITTY APP SWALLOWS THE ERROR MESSAGE!

I mean it's bad enough I have to `var_dump && die` your app since you never bothered to setup a xdebug that I could use out of the box, yet egregious fact that your app would catch a valid exception but transforms it into an "internal warning" is borderline insane!

It's ok to throw exceptions. It's ok to let your service die. That's how other will know what and where to fix it. (You may want to restrict the data visible to the outside, but that's a whole different conversation.)

Oh let the rant time begin…

So previous post I mentioned about this dev who has resigned and how I was going to see about a Snr. position.

Management is now scrambling to figure out what to do as this dev managed all the migration to AWS etc, I know servers but haven’t got too much familiarity with AWS.

Anyways so I finally get a 1:1 with my new line manager. I ask about the position and he says they don’t know what there going to do yet. Hire a new dev in India to offset and with the same knowledge even though the guy leaving is in the U.K. Bad idea as the servers are in the U.K. so if we get downtime or the server crashes we have no one in the U.K. to reset or access to the servers. India are very cagey who gets access which is annoying to say the least even though us (three devs) in the U.K. are the principal engineering team so there looking at all options.

Anyways we have a back and fourth, we discuss some of the plans for the app, some of which we are nowhere near ready to even conceptualise as the app in its current state sucks, (ruby 2.2.6 and rails 5 but not really). Needs major refactoring and rewrite, one thing they want to do is multi tendency which again given the state is laughable.

So, as my manager is speaking my head is screaming being like “this is just going to be a massive disaster”. Then we go onto that he’s seeing what everyone’s strengths are etc. And then we get onto the upgrade and that he wants me to work on it.

Yes.. the upgrade I’ve been trying to do for the past 4+ months but I keep getting told to stop and getting pushed backed.

I’ve been told we have devOps looking into restructuring the app, not possible as how the app is written, we have India trying to multi tenant again disaster incoming as they’ll end up rushing it. Legal are going to have a field day. Every time I say the issues are the fundamentals with the app, here’s how we can sort it. In one ear out the other basically there patching the ship even though it’s still leaking.

I have so many ideas, and things I can do to improve the app and get it back to not only working order, fix the performance issues, data issues and everything else. Brick wall.

So rants ensue where I basically say I would love to do the upgrade but management gives me no time in the roadmap (we have no say in planning). At this point I’m just speaking to a brick wall.

After the meeting I have a chat with the BAs, we all have the same issues so honestly it sucks we end up ranting to each other for an hour.

I’m being under-utilised, being told do this, do that even though I’ve had two stabs but told to stop and pushed back, I know what benefits I can bring to the app with a refactoring, ideas and how to properly lead the team because honestly we’re working on an old legacy app, and management are clueless and there priorities are all wrong, the company is getting frustrated and it’s a sinking ship. They would rather patch issues without solving them and everything I say goes in one ear and out the other.

Frustrating is not the word.

Restart syslog service and the production app crashes. WTF.

Not really dev related but here it goes:

Decided to update some apps on my phone during lecture. Suddenly android crashes and is stuck in a bootloop. Went to safe mode where "downloaded" apps are disabled but wanted to at least be available via telegram. So I followed a guide to manually convert an app to a system app and tested with some random app that I didn't care for. That worked flawlessly and then decided to proceed with telegram but it said that moving failed but actually the folder was moved. I took the chance and rebooted (again to safe mode) only to find out that now the system ui crashes as soon as it loads, also rendering the safe mode useless.

Great that such things always happen when you don't have access to a trusted machine with adb installed.

Me : Hey Check Out This Pic SharingApp I Just Put Up

Friend : Hey It's Looking Good!

*Friend's First Text Input* : " Harambe Was Just A Gorr. . ."

*App Crashes*

@dfox is it a known issue to have crashes on iOS when visiting the notifications tab?

If not here’s what I can gather: When opening the notifications menu, app will crash after the devRant logo wobbles 3-4 times. After reopening the app and repeating the process about 3-5 times, the app will load into the notifications menu. However, when tapping on any individual notification, it will often crash after the same 3-4 wobbles of the devRant logo.

Now, I’m not a mobile developer (Nor a react developer, if you guys are using react) but here’s some things that I would think might cause this:
- An unhandled exception?
- If you use multiple server instances, they may be out of sync?

Not sure what it could be tbh. But I hope this helps, keep up the great work!

i compiled an app on mingw on linux, for windows using qt4, when trying to run it on windows it crashes with no understandable error, i installed wine and tried to run it there, got a proper error message, it was missing dlls
before someone tells me, i know i need a debugger, I'm just hello worlding around to check that i have all headers and libs in place on both linux native and mingw

Oh come the fuck on.

I’m trying to build a SwiftUI app and I can’t decrypt a video while it’s buffering using DisptchQueue? Wtf do you mean “UI must live on the main queue?” I AM running it on the main queue and it fucking crashes!!!

Please, if anybody knows how to use DispatchQueues correctly in Swift, HIT ME UP! I NEED SERIOUS HELP IN THIS BITCH

Every time I am tired of writing default values for optional values (values that can be nil but HAVE to have some default value unless they break the app / program I just tell it to be any valid value instead of nil,and if it’s nil the app / program crashes the fuck up.

I test it by feeding it ONLY valid data.

Irresponsible, I know, but none of my projects have passed testing phases and all of them never really finished development.

Anyone else using DevRant on iOS 16.0?

It crashes about 1-3 times a day. I haven’t been able to intentionally reproduce. The app just closes.
This never happened in previous versions.

I’m not an iOS dev so not sure how I can help prepare for public release. I’m not even sure if it is the OS, but since it worked with last iOS, I’m guessing.

Some of the events when it crashed.
1. Browsing comments on someone’s post
2. Double tapping to like a comment (it might be the rant as well, I don’t exactly remember)
3. Opening a rant from the list of rants.

Cannot reproduce. For example, relaunching the app and opening the same rant again didn’t cause a crash.

Jesus on a flaming dragon mobile.

Devrant has so many issues.

The one that was reported the other day where the app crashes on iOS. It crashed four times just now trying to just open it. I proceeded to keep opening and then managed to go to the notifications tab. Crashed again. Click on somethin in the tab. Crashed again. What’s happening here?

Today seems more severe than the odd crashes now and then.

Fix your damn mobile app, devrant! You are a community for devs and the crashes are embarassing

String apple = "ball";

Changes some code along with
String ball = "ball";

App crashes.

Tries debugging.

Undo everything
Back to
String apple = "ball";

Why the hack does the devRant app on iOS crashes nearly every time I want to open the notifications or a rant? The app does this since weeks now. This is very annoying!

I like the UWP idea, and in general how UWP look like.. But holy shit they suck.. It takes me fucking 2 minutes to open an UWP app it crashes at least once in those two minutes. And when I open them, its just a matter of time when it will crash.. Lets talk about Skype UWP, love the design, hate the perfomance. You know when Skype syncs? When I open it and wait a minute for it to be usable, and then it updates conversation.. Then.. And only then.. Whaf the fuck is wrong with it? The platform or developers? I fucking hope they improve with, and I don't think I'm the only one with this problem..

After few weeks I got back to an Electron app. Rebuilt the thing, copied fresh binaries to a Win 10 VM, and the app doesn't even start, it instantly crashes. Literally nothing changed - libraries (and their versions) are same, source code is the same, node version is same, it was built on same machine, VM wasn't even started since then.

Tried a fresh Tux binary, and of course it runs fine.

God, I hate Windows. 😩

Who thought and wrote android studio thinking it was a good idea???

I need to use it because of flutter for like a week and I don't want this thing to create arbitrary directories in my home.

Then I can only use chrome for viewing my app because please don't give me any error on why the fucking emulator crashes.
It's my gpu? It's my memory? How do I know?

Now I'm using podman because I don't want to think about removing all of this crap when I'm finished.

Anyone know how to get by the "Out of Memory" error on Android Studio when an image you have is like 102941092301mb too big and it crashes your app when you debug?
pls I need help, this image looks terrible when it isn't the resolution I would like...

Javascript drama is a never ending horror. I was building an app for a client that says he want reactnative and I used The Platform module without importing guess what? I never saw an error but that part of the code didn't just work and no crashes this is crazy no wonder apps built in JavaScript don't show error in dev but crashes in production javascript is just one comedy that won't cease creating unessary bugs that should not be allowed at the first place, js is just crazy in someways