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Search - "dump"
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F*CKING DESIGNERS.
Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.
Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.
Give me all the fonts you used.
Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?
I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".
Oh god. Oh god.
I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.
I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.
They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.
The pain is strong with those damn designers.
Fuck.46 -
//long rant but worth it ;)
In our class, we had some writing in Word.
I was the smart PC guy in the class which everybody asked for info. Even the teacher sometimes asked me.
There was a girl in class which I didn't really like, because she had a snoopy attitude and thought she is a queen.
In MC Word you can hide the toolbar with the little arrow on the top right below the close button.
Somehow the girl hid the toolbar and didn't know to let it reappear again. After half a hour the teacher got to the next lesson.
She held her hand up and reported to the teacher that here PC has problems. After 10 minutes try & error from the teacher he even didn't get it.
Now the teacher started the rant and shout at her: "How did you even manage to do this? Did you upload a virus? I bet it is a virus! Do you know how much it costs to repair this pc? It's sure over 1000 $."
The rant continued for 15 minutes. After that I felt a bit guilty and even I didn't like that girl, but nobody deserves such a harsh treatment.
Without saying anything I went to the computer, clicked the little arrow and the problem was solved. The teacher didn't say anything to this topic. Just said we can go early.
Sometimes dump people make a elephant out of a fly, just because they don’t know it better…
Well the girl still stayed a cunt till the end of my scholarship.17 -
Unbelievable...
My company bought me a new laptop. It has 2 512 GB SSDs.
Our IT set it up with windows 10.
ON BOTH SSD.
OM fucking G. How dump you have to be to install windows 10 two times in the same machine? What kind of mental illness is this?40 -
Just saw an ad:
"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"
Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.2 -
I wrote a Student Information system for my midterm project back in 94 written in Clipper and runs on MS-DOS.
I demoed & explained to the panel of professors how it tracks enrollments, payments, class schedules, grades and attendance of each and every student. Has user authentication, auditing and reporting functionalities.
It has a lite version also written in Clipper that can be installed on a Professor's laptop so that he/she can update records even at home, and would be able to sync with the db at school via a BBS. Telix for DOS (self-taught) was my choice for the BBS as it was shareware, has built-in Zmodem support and comes with it's own programming language called SALT (Script Application Language for Telix) that can be used for automating tasks. The lite version of my project would dump the updates on an ASCII file, compress the file using PKZIP, use the laptop's modem to dial-up the number to the school's BBS and send the file across using Zmodem protocol.
The main version would then download the file(s) from the BBS and proceed to do a sync.
After the doing the demo and answering all their questions the panel asked me to wait outside the room, called me back in after 15mins and told me that I don't have to attend that class for the remainder of the term. The happiness as the my classmates outside of the room gawked at me felt like King Midas himself gave my balls his golden touch.
Then in 97, 2yrs after I graduated, I accompanied my cousins to a different campus of the same school for their enrollment and right there on the bottom of the screen were my initials on a very very familiar UI! They actually used, and were still using, my school project. Needless to say my cousins didn't believe that it was written by me.15 -
Me(m) vs Apple(a)
m - hey apple!
a -
m - apple?
a - oh yeah, who are u?
m - umm, titan?
a - titan who?
m - titanlan- .. umm nevermind . hi , i am a developer :D
a - developer ? hah.. get out.
m - but wait, I want to develop apps for you! I have been developing android apps for last one year and i love mobile dev! wanna talk more on this ?
a - umm.. ugh ok. so you wanna develop apps?
m- yes!, i am doing great at java an-..
a- yeah wait. we don't have that in here. we use swift
m -Oh. no worries , the principles are the same i will watch some free youtube vids and have a plugin for studio or vsco-..
a- yeah wait you can't do that too.we don't have plugins
m - Really, no plugin? then where do people develop ios apps?
a- xcode
m - Oh , how stupid of me , an IDE of course. anyways i can simply install it in my windows or linux an-..
a - nope, you can't do that.
m - what? then where does it run?
a -macOS
m -Oh, then surely you might have some distro or-
a - nope, buy a mac. pass $3000
m- wha-? i just want to run your bloody IDE!
a- oh honey, your $3000 will be totally worth it, you will love it!
m- but i haven't even started making an app, leave alone publishing it.
a- oh, that will cost you another $100 . plus if you wanna test your apps, make sure it runs in our latest , fragile iphones otherwise we won't publish it. that will cost another $1500
m- what? but I already have a fine , high tech laptop and a smartphone!
a- yeah you can dump that
FML. how the fuck is apple living and thriving? lots of selfish motives and greeds i guess? because i don't see a single place where they are using the word "free" or "cheap" .26 -
Free advice take it or leave it
A few days ago I completed my one year work anniversary(is that how it's said) at my first job. And this rant is basically stuff I learnt and stuff I wish someone had told me when I was starting out. Here goes:-
When you are starting out your first job you would be a fresh out of college and people around you in college are your friends where as people around you at work are colleagues. Your friends can like you, but you have to earn the respect of colleagues.
If you sit yo ass too long u will become fat(started going to the gym again).
Don't bother your seniors too much. they have their own shit to deal with.
Don't bring your personal shit to office I don't want to hear how cute your dog looked while it took a dump on your carpet.
Avoid the person who gossips.
It's a two way street.
Whatever you find amazing your boss may not you know coz you are a geek and your boss isn't.
Don't talk to people when they are coding.Yeah just don't.
Avoid "below the belt" humor you may look funny but you loose respect in the long run.
Keep upgrading yourself don't stop learning.
Admit stuff you don't know don't Bullshit.
To sum it up it's a game of respect, respect of knowledge,respect of skill and most of all respect of attitude.7 -
Is this the code life
Another scrum meeting
Caught in the the Node life
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the screens and see..
I'm just a dev boy
Doing some debugging
Because there's warnings here
Errors there
Segment faults
Everywhere
Anytime you distract
Takes another hour from me
From me
*piano starts
Mama. Just committed a bug
Merge the branch to production
Did it fast for milestones
Mama. The repo has just begun
But now they going to throw the stack away.
Mama. U u u uu
Didn't mean to code in LAMP
But it's the only stack i know how to setup
In Ubuntu. Without docker
I really don't get vagrant
*piano
It's too late
My team is done
Some dev is working in Nepal
A UX dev. Now what is that?
Goodbye everybody
I've got to go
Gotta leave this lame meeting
And face the truth
Oh nooooo. I i interns
(they have questions)
I want to debug
I don't want to stay till 3 in the morning
*epic guitar
I see a litlle dev over there
Let's code review, let's code review
Did he do the last commit?
Coding in the white board
Very very frightening me
That's bug(that's a bug)
That's a bug (that's a bug)
What the f*ck did you do that?
Magnificcooooooo
I was just coding and nobody liked it
He was coding and nobody liked it, spare his some time to do his debugging
Easy man. Here go. Will you let me code?
A meeting. No,we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
A meeting. we will not let you code. ( let me code)
We will not let you code
Never never let you go
Never let you code, oh
No no no no no no no
Oh mama mia, mama mia ( dude, you've gotta let me code)
Screw you guys, I'm gonna code and commit. Commit. Comiiiiitt!
*epic guitar
So you think you can review me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can dump me and erase my branch?
Oh baby, cant do this to me baby
I've just have to log out.
I've just have to log outta here
*epic guitar solo
Nothing really matters
The users will not care
Nothing really matters
To them
Any way this code blows10 -
"This dump is taking forever" - things that sound strange outside of a dev environment.
What are some other good ones?34 -
PSA: Please don't dump 10GB of your personal photos on your company's shared drives. Especially dont have the photos include such things as nudes and pictures of your social security card.
-- kthx7 -
In my college days i was designing a bootloader for avr microcontroller , i had the idea to flash code wirelessly to avr over bluetooth and also cross compile the compiler for android device so that you can code on android, every thing went well just one thing didn't, i saw that code of certain size is executing properly , greater than that size gives me wired outputs so i have to dump hex from the avr (that is flashed the by bootloader) and compaire it with the original hex of code it got messy as you can see, most fun part of this bug is that error can be anywhere cross compiler may be fucked up , the bootloader may be fucked up , or it may be my bluetooth module , after 14 hours of staring at the hex code i figured out the mess in bootloader instruction that was changing the page address for flashing .
when it worked it was 3am in night i literally burst into tears of joy next day bought myself a cake to celebrate6 -
Everytime they force me to add and test stupid features. I usually end up making my own version, which they dump almost every time.2
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Product: Hey, this screwdriver feature I never requested isn’t there. Why? Can you fix it? It’s kinda urgent.
Product: @Root please jump on the ticket above … fairly urgent.
Root: It’s Friday, I’m out next week, and I’m working on finishing <urgent comma ticket> right now.
Boss: Work on the screwdriver instead. But make sure you finish the comma ticket too!
Boss: By the way, I volunteered you for eight security reviews next month!
Security: You’re on call for AWS audits next month, too!rant just look at her she’s doing fineee she can handle everything she can handle it everything is urgent just dump it all on root10 -
Wow, what a fucking mess this sunday was.
My boss wrote me an email that one route of a RESTful API we wrote for a customer was not working anymore and puking back a status 500 with some error mentioning invalid UTF-8 characters.
Not one single person has had touched nor changed the code on production in some 6 months, so what the fuck could it be?
Phpunit did not give any errors (running only locally), the code had no syntax errors and the DB dump did not contain any invalid bytes (tested with a hex editor).
WHAT THE FUCK?!
OK so I started to comment out lines (all tested directly on production of course) until the error vanished.
Guess what was the culprit?
.
.
.
.
.
.
In the code (PHP) we used strftime(...) to get nice time strings. Of course we set the correct locale on the server, thus having months and days formatted in German.
So, in Geman there is this one mysterious month called "März" which contains an umlaut character.
Calling strftime generated the date with März in it, but the server locale was de_CH.iso-8859-1 and not fucking de_CH.utf8, so the "ä" was returned as 0xE4 instead of 0xC3A4 (valid UTF-8), which json_encode(...) did not want to swallow but instead threw an exception.8 -
Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.
Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").
So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:
"Should groceries really do that?"
He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.4 -
"I should really make better offsite backups"
"Right, this service doesn't do client side encryption"
"Oh this one doesn't have a Linux client"
"OK this one only sets up a single directory you can dump shit into"
"Wtf this one charges more than a high class escort girl"
Whatever... I'm sure my house won't burn down.15 -
how to make a feature request
1. dump Db table with 153 column to Excel
2. print!
3. circle column 47 on page 3, scribble feature description
4. scan! remember to use proprietary file format no one has
5. new e-mail, add "VERY URGENT!!!" to subject line
6. write "will call, discuss details monday"
6.a. attach proprietary-scanned-excel-dump-feature-description (optional)
7. postscript: deadline wednesday!!
8. wait for tuesday
9. send!
...3 -
Heck yes!
I implement a stack trace in my embedded systems!
Whenever a device crashes, it makes a stack dump in an unused part of ram.
After it has rebooted and is connected to the server again, it uploads the stack dump.
The server then opens the correct firmware elf file, walks the stack and associates the debug info from the elf.
The result? A beautiful stack trace with file names, function names and line numbers.
No more guessing where random crashes come from.12 -
Like a bad relationship
Be really excited for the first month or so then once the new car smell starts to fade, lose interest and dump it.3 -
I'm afraid of getting dumped and it's not because i fear rejection or being alone, it's just because the stack trace will be HUGE!4
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Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?
Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.
Customer: ...Okay...
Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.
Customer: I like that, let's do it!
Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?8 -
+++ Microsoft switches to the open-source Chromium engine for the Edge browser +++
On December 6th, Microsoft announced that they will dump their own Edge engine and replace it with Chromium, an open-source browser engine developed by Google.
This way they are promising the ~2% of global internet users who prefer Edge over other browsers to experience a better web experience.
The about 2% of market share is one of the reasons Microsoft decided to stop developing their own engine. It's just not worth it.
Joe Belfiore, corporate veep of Windows, said they also want to bring Edge to other platforms, like macOS, to target more audiences.
Web-Developers, like myself, will most likely have the most to gain. Less browsers to target means less incompatibility issues.
There are a lot of HTML5 features that the Edge engine doesn't support...
The new Edge won't be a UWP app, in order to make it usable outside of Windows 10. Instead, it will be build in accordance with the Win32 API, so we can even expect support for older Windows versions, like Windows 7 and 8. A preview release is planned for early 2019.
Because they are switching to Chromium and the Win32 API, Microsoft is hiring new developers! So if you always wanted to work at Microsoft, now is your chance!
That's it!
Thanks for reading!
Source: https://theregister.co.uk/2018/12/...11 -
Unintentionally Hilarious joke at work yesterday.
We were doing some data analysis, and I had to dump some stuff into a table for my colleague. So I ran the script and went to the bathroom (no.2).
When I came back, they asked me if the dump is done. And I said without thinking: "I just went." 😂3 -
Between plague and smoke, spending way too much time indoors. Localised co2 got pretty high in the office my husband and I share and opening the windows is dicey during giant spider season even before the wildfires.
So as a result, I'm starting a little indoor garden in each room. The succulent are going to be hydro, and the prayer and snake plant will get soil so I have some place to dump my coffee grinds other than the rose garden. In the next month or so we also want to set up some living moss panels to help control the nitrogen balance.
And of course, obligatory rpi sensor suite and irrigation is inbound as well. That'll be a shared project. 😸48 -
So we hired an intern and his first task was to change a few things in email layout for our client, which is an investment bank.
I told to one of my developers to make his local database dump and setup the project for an intern. When intern completed the task, my developer thought that title "Dow Jones index crashed" was pretty funny title for a test.
What he didn't thought through enough, is that he forgot to configure fake SMTP server and he had production database dump with real email addresses.
I had really awkward 20 minutes conversation with our client. Fuck my life.4 -
So I've been exporting a JSON dump of ~120GB for hours and when trying to processing it, and write it to a new file, I wrote to the same file. FML. Hours of export became 0 bytes in no time. Think its time to get some sleep.4
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Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!1 -
So I'm in the middle of the website migration that was made in Wordpress.
Just made a database dump and decided to take a look at it cause it looked really big for a site that only needs internal management. Found out they use contact form plugin which stores binary of attachments directly in database..
And people ask me why I hate Wordpress and so called Wordpress devs..5 -
... when you ask someone for their IP and you get a 10.x.x.x back ... followed by a dump of their ipconfig, showing this IP as their VirtualBox Host-Adapter ... and this someone is a developer for web-applications ...3
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Taking a dump and showering are my number one non dev activities. They help to clear your head and when your head is empty you will get the best ideas and solutions.4
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Am I the only one who figures out solutions to complex issues only when peeing, bathing or taking a dump? 😂8
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Some of the dinosaurs maintaining legacy systems are rather well meaning, but somewhat frustratingly don't seem to have updated their knowledge of what counts as "a lot of storage space" beyond the early 90's. Just asked one of them if they could dump all the legacy logs to AWS each day so we could keep them for 6 months or so (they're rolled over weekly otherwise.)
"Well I mean we can, but are you sure? *All* the logs? You could end up storing close to 100MB of logs a month! Won't that be prohibitively expensive?!"
It's rather cute really.11 -
When you write something cool but the problem can be solved in an easier way and you have to dump it 😭1
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Client: the app is slow
me: can you upload a thread dump to the ticket?
Client: here *uploads 2GB catalina.out.gz*6 -
Earlier I signed up on this forum called NulledBB. Basically some hacker skiddie forum that had a dump of an archive I wanted, unfortunately behind a paywall which I didn't want to bother with.
On signup I noticed that I couldn't use my domain as an email address, as I usually do (the domain is a catch-all which means that mail addresses can be made up for each service I sign up to on the fly, super useful). They did expose the regex that they accepted email as however, which included something along the lines of "@live.*".
So I figured, why not register a subdomain live.nixmagic.com real quick and put that into the mail servers? Didn't take too long and that's what I eventually went with, and registered as somepissedoffsysop@live.nixmagic.com (which I have no trouble putting on a public forum as you'll see in a minute).
Still didn't manage to get that archive I wanted but I figured, fuck it. It's a throwaway account anyway. But eventually that email address started to receive spam. Stupid motherfucker of a forum operator with his Kali skidmachine probably leaked it.
Usually I just blacklist the email address in SpamAssassin by adding an additional spam score of 100 to email sent to such addresses. But in that case it didn't even sit on the main domain, thanks to that stupid regex block from earlier... 😏
*Logs into my domain admin panel*
*Le rm on the live.nixmagic.com record*
Null routed entirely.. nulled, if you will! 🙃3 -
What you see in that screenshot, that was earned.
I'm on the plane and I want an hour of free Gogo (read: crappy) WiFi on my laptop (so I can push the code I'm probably the most proud of, more on that another time). The problem is that the free T-Mobile WiFi is apparently only available on mobile.
So after trying to just use responsive mode, and that still (almost obviously) not working. I realize it's time to bring in the big guns: A User Agent switcher. Small catch: I don't have an add-on for FF that can do that.
So on my phone I find an add-on that can and download the file. To send it to my computer, I initially thought to go through KDEConnect, but Gogo's network also isolates each system, so that doesn't work. So I try to send it over Bluetooth, except I can't. Why? Because Android's Bluetooth share "doesn't support" the .xpi extension, so I dump it in a zip (in retrospect, I should have just renamed it), and now I can share.
After a few tries, I successfully get the file over, extract the zip, and install the extension. Whew! Now I open up Gogo's page and proceed to try again, but this time I change the user-agent. Doesn't work... Ah! Cookies! I delete the cookies for Gogo (I had a cookie editor add-on already), but I had to try a few times because Gogo's scripts keep trying to, but I got it in the end.
Finally that stupid error saying it's for phones only went away, and I could write this rant for you.22 -
Coolest project? Well, one time I had to take a dump while I was coding so I took the computer to the toilet with me and that was pretty exciting4
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- be the most productive member in the team and everyone dumps their tasks on you.
- be the laziest person in the team and everyone sees you as a bottleneck.
- be the senior + the laziest person in the team and you can complain about others being a bottleneck and dump your tasks on the most productive member.
fml ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮3 -
A new online store for custom PC has opened in Switzerland.
For overclocking they want CHF 10 (around 9.50 $) more for every MHz.
I know that some people gonna buy this shit and pay for that. If that people knew that you only need to access BIOS/After Burner for it 😂😂😂😂
#BestSpendMoney10 -
Uhm, alright, but how will you fix them then? (no, there seems to be no automatic crash dump or calling home)6
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Me, hacking the sunxi kernel to access gpio on my orange pi:
My friend: "oh, a raspberry, are you using python for that?"
Me, looking up from opcode dump: "you can use python for this?"3 -
Added a mysql-dump file by misstake in a git commit ....
250MB explains why it took so long to push it to the gitlab server ... -
Feeling awesome after migrate everything from WordPress to Laravel. Kill WP. Fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu. 😣3
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Aaaah, I fucking love it to death, when customers spontaneously decide to hire a separate, unrelated company to add new content pages to the website developed by our company.
That furuncle of a company must have had real pro devs to just create a new /html folder, dump their shit content in there and just manually add links in the existing CMS pages.
HOLY FUCK!
As you might already have expected, the /html folder contains:
- static *.html files for every page
- inline CSS in the *.html
- the crappiest PHP mailing script I have ever witnessed
- images with random resolutions, mostly too small
The layout of these puke-ridden pages obviously doesn't fit neither the existing color palette, nor has anything common with the current layout or typography at all.
These bastards don't even use Git!
Come on, dear customer, could you PLEASE fucking NOT hire a completely separate company to do OUR job?
PLEASE? PLEASE?!
I had to compare the whole deployment folder with our repo to find out what else these brain-damaged cunts changed in our code!3 -
you fucking idiots
why do you always base your library components on some dumbass clown fixed width / height system?
everything should be flex by default, anything else is absolute amateur clown town pile of dumbass horseshit...
...i'll brawl and take down anyone who says otherwise
you waste my time, you waste other's time, when everyone has to go hunting around for your stupid library's unorthodox way of styling
thanks again for wasting and making my evening a living hell7 -
Testing hell.
I'm working on a ticket that touches a lot of areas of the codebase, and impacts everything that creates a ... really common kind of object.
This means changes throughout the codebase and lots of failing specs. Ofc sometimes the code needs changing, and sometimes the specs do. it's tedious.
What makes this incredibly challenging is that different specs fail depend on how i run them. If I use Jenkins, i'm currently at 160 failing tests. If I run the same specs from the terminal, Iget 132. If I run them from RubyMine... well, I can't run them all at once because RubyMine sucks, but I'm guessing it's around 90 failures based on spot-checking some of the files.
But seriously, how can I determine what "fixed" even means if the issues arbitrarily pass or fail in different environments? I don't even know how cli and rubymine *can* differ, if I'm being honest.
I asked my boss about this and he said he's never seen the issue in the ten years he's worked there. so now i'm doubly confused.
Update: I used a copy of his db (the same one Jenkins is using), and now rspec reports 137 failures from the terminal, and a similar ~90 (again, a guess) from rubymine based on more spot-checking. I am so confused. The db dump has the same structure, and rspec clears the actual data between tests, so wtf is even going on? Maybe the encoding differs? but the failing specs are mostly testing logic?
none of this makes any sense.
i'm so confused.
It feels like i'm being asked to build a machine when the laws of physics change with locality. I can make it work here just fine, but it misbehaves a little at my neighbor's house, and outright explodes at the testing ground.4 -
# PROD
* 10 app instances running
* 1 instance starts burning up 100% cpu
* we ask for a Thread Dump (stack traces)
* we get a TD taken after they manually restarted the instance
* they: "Please investigate. We need this fixed ASAP"
* .....
EVERY FUCKING TIME!!! Not once in recent years have they managed to take a TD correctly. What kind of a retarded monkey do you have to be for this to not sink in for YEARS!
Who tf put those idiot monkeys there in the first place...8 -
Don’t work from exact place you eat everyday or sleep or entertain.
If you can’t focus set timer from 15 minutes to 1 hour and do something else that is not engaging your brain the same way your work does.
Go for a walk.
Take a break from electronic devices.
Take a shower.
Take a nap.
Take a dump.
Make a list of things todo before you eat.
Make groceries.
Clean your house a little.
Make a laundry.
Any manual labor helps if you need brain muscles for thinking.7 -
A few years ago I found a public AWS S3 bucket owned by a fortune 500 company containing a database dump backup with all of their users unsalted md5 hashed passwords.
I didn't report it because I don't want to get sued or charged. I don't know whether it's still public or not.6 -
Oh yes, today was a fugly nice day.
Fuck you my dear boss.
Your mindless way of taking a dump onto my code, moving my classes (CSS) away and adding new classes to refuck my unfucked fuckery clearly shows how much brain is left in your hollow skull of nothingness.
It took me only 2.5 hours of my precious time to unfuck your refucked fuckery and implement the fix you wanted me to do because you fucked up my code.
Go eat a bag of segfaults and get cast to void* (void pointer).
I am also very thankful having spent the whole day today to fix cross browser fuckups, hacks and #!&$+@.
Normally I really like my boss. He is a cool guy and an innovative and mostly intelligent person.
BUT FUCK HIS CODE.16 -
This is a shit post:
Once upon a time, I went to work.... and decided I can shit at work... it was very nice.. I did that a couple of times... at some point, while siting there.. alone, I thought... 'I am getting paid to do this',
so I started shitting everyday at work as it was very worthy but then...
one day I went back home and I had to take a dump.... and though... 'but why should I, no one is paying me to do so'?!... and I didn't...
With time passing by, My ability to shit at home was deprived, the joy that I had shitting at work became a necessity... and the weekends.... long and stagering, but Mondays made me fill... everything with joy.
Capitalism has manipulated me... into making me love Mondays, making them innevitable for me, Capitalism has brainwashed me into being an obedient slave, we must rise and destroy each and every toilet in the companies in which we work or else...
I don't see how I would be able to go on vacations... for 2-3 weeks...8 -
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
Nope
I think that's the thread dump of my brain currently.
Anyone knows what date and time we have?
I'm so lost right now.
17 projects atm thanks to e.g. Microsofts Exchange Hell.
I. Hate. Everything.
Go spread your butt cheeks so I can give you two fists of love before you write a damn ticket regarding yet another (security-) problem in infrastructure.10 -
Friend of mine created a blog from scratch... You could create a post, by just sending a POST request (no authentication required!)....
As an additional bonus: you could dump full unfiltered HTML in a post, which was then executed...
Please kill me5 -
Being a developer in my country is great. We have Sam Adams fountains instead of water fountains everywhere, triple - double bacon and duck fat fried cheeseburgers with Twinkie buns, massive desktops that burn coal and dump pure toxicity into the atmosphere. We sit on chairs made from the carcasses of soon to be extinct animals, and instead of rubber ducks, we have majestic bald eagles screeching their encouragement as we pound out our buggy ass code. But we have the best bugs, don’t we folks?2
-
So we have an API that my team is supposed send messages to in a fire and forget kind of style.
We are dependent on it. If it fails there is some annoying manual labor involved to clean that mess up. (If it even can be cleaned up, as sometimes it is also time-sensitive.)
Yet once in a while, that endpoint just crashes by letting the request vanish. No response, no error, nothing, it is just gone.
Digging through the log files of that API nothing pops up. Yet then I realize the size of the log files. About ~30GB on good old plain text log files.
It turns out that that API has taken the LOG EVERYTHING approach so much too heart that it logs to the point of its own death.
Is circular logging such a bleeding edge technology? It's not like there are external solutions for it like loggly or kibana. But oh, one might have to pay for them. Just dump it to the disk :/
This is again a combination of developers thinking "I don't need to care about space! It's cheap!" and managers thinking "100 GB should be enough for that server cluster. Let's restrict its HDD to 100GB, save some money!"
And then, here I stand trying to keep my sanity :/1 -
You can't call me a "nut job" on Lync then five minutes later dump your fucking work experience kid on me so that I can "tell him what to type" and "let him do some of the work". I'm a paid technical intern, not your fucking babysitter, so maybe you should pay your own kid attention rather than let somebody else to do it to make you feel superior.
You know fuck all and have needed my help numerous times, and been sheepish every time I've known something you don't. If I helped you with something, say thank you and don't act like my presence perpetually pisses you off. Sit down and show me some respect, as I always have to you, or I'll report you to HR for being a demeaning twat. Your call.
Or perhaps I could have a word with the new Director you've been arse-licking. I'm sure he'd love to hear that you have been treating like shit the one guy who can save you from the shit show of having no idea how to do the task you've been set.
I know I'm an intern but come on, I could take your job tomorrow if I didn't have a degree to go back to. If you keep being a shit to people then one day I will actually do it!5 -
It's 17:55... Did much work that day since I came in earlier than usual, so I could leave in time and do some shopping with the girlfriend.
A colleague comes in to my room, a tad distressed. He had accidentally ran a fixture script on a production environment database (processing a shipload of records per minute), truncating all tables...
Using AWS RDS to rollback the transaction log takes up about 20m. I had to do that about 5 times to estimate the date and time of when the fixture script ran... Since there was no clear point in time...
Finally I get to the best state of the data I could get. I log in remotely run some queries. All is well again... With minor losses in data.
I try to download a dump using pg_dump and apparently my version is mismatched with the server. I add the latest version to aptitudes source list of postgres repo and I am ready to remove and purge the current postgres client and extensions...
sudo apt-get remove post*
Are you sure? (Y/n) *presses enter and enters into a world of pain*
Apparently a lot of system critical applications start with post... T_T4 -
WanBLowS Vusta is more stable than this piece of shit that you call code. Yet you call yourself a programmer? Goddammit, even the shit that I dump in the toilet looks better. Because at least that thing is honest about being shit, unlike this craptacular mess that you call an application. Maybe consider kill -9 $(pidof life).3
-
[Typical dump Client]
After finishing an Android app, the app was amazing and the client is happy.
Client: I think we should write iOS version.
Me: ok, but this will take a time to code in different language with those native features..
Client: Can we just "convert" it to iOS, it should be easy no?4 -
I was supposed to be asleep four hours ago. But I have to say, screwing around with linux distros on antiquated machines I've acquired over the past two years is much more fun. The oldest computer I have with me today is actually the most recent addition to my collection: an HP Pavillion from 2002. It's got a Pentium 4 2.6, and is currently still running XP, though not for long. Thinking of turning it into a little cloud/web server for entertainment purposes.
I might just harvest the hard drives from it and put them into the other Pavillion I have (it's about 3 years younger) to have more storage in one device. Maybe I'll make them both separate servers, one for cloud, one for web hosting. We'll see.
Sorry for the ramble, I usually ramble to my girlfriend, but she's asleep, so I figured I'd dump it here.
Back to doing research.rant who's ready for pacific rim uprising it's 2am fear is gone too many computers which os to use why not both? 32 bit3 -
Cousins came over...
Me: just compiling some python code, opens up jupyter notebook to take a look at some data science code
Little Sis: *looks at jupnb dump on cmd*
Whoa are you Hacking?
Me: yeah. I got bored of whole Hacking command typing thing so I opened up my hacker console.
*print("hello world")*
Sis:wow!
Me: you know what, typing is too tiresome, I'll connect to it with my mind
*alt-tab*
*cmatrix -b*
*sits in yoga pose*
Little Sis: Screams at the top of her lungs and runs to aunt
"DAVE IS HACKING MATRIX"3 -
I was scrolling through MySQL dump, at a point I forgot what I was looking for.
Then it reminded me that 'I was just seeing blonde, brunette, redhead.'1 -
#AndroidDev protip:
1. Dump Android Studio and use Sublime for a week
2. Realize you don't actually know how to write java anymore
3. Cry -
Fuck I hate bloated app permissions but I guess todo lists that know who you most likely to chat to when taking a dump is what we get for demanding everything for free. I get why Snapchat wants so much, I just find it fucking ironic that this is from a company that founded itself on the concept of privacy 🤦♂️7
-
You know a good way to handle all of the issues with W10 force updating your system? Do it yourself FFS!
You know there are updates. Windows has been telling you ...
Pick a damn time, start the update and go get a coffee, lunch, take a dump or go home for the day.
It's *never* going to be the right time if you don't choose it. It will always be an inconvenience or you'll be "in the middle of something important" and then you'll get all pissy about it.
Yeesh ...10 -
$ mysql -uroot -p > file.sql instead of
$ mysqldump -uroot -p > file.sql
And not checking the result file before reinstalling my server 😭😭2 -
Okay karma, why?!
I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...
COME OOOOON8 -
My god the wall looks really punchable right now. Let me tell you why.
So I’m working on a data mining project, and I’m trying to get data from google trends. Unfortunately, there have been a lot of roadblocks for what should have been an easy task.
First it won’t give a raw search volume, only relative “interest”.
Fortunately it lets me compare search terms, which would work for my needs however it will only let me compare a few at a time. I need to compare 300.
So my solution is simple: compare all the terms relative to one term. Simple enough, but it would be time consuming so I figured I’d write a program to get the data.
But then I learned that they don’t have an official api. There’s a node module for this very thing based on a python module that reverse engineers the api endpoints. I thought as long as it works I’d use it.
It does work... But then I discovered that google heavily rate limits the endpoints.
So... I figured I’d build a system to route the requests through different tor nodes to get around the rate limit. Good solution right? Well like a slap to the face, after spending way to much time getting requests through tor working, I discovered that THEY FUCKING BLOCKED TOR IPS.
So I gave up, and resigned to wait 5 hours for my program to get the data... 1 comparison at a time... 60s interval between requests. They, of course, don’t tell you the rate limit threshold, so this is more or less a guess (I verified that 30s interval was too short and another person using the module suggested 60s).
Remember when I said the discovery that the blocked tor came like a slap to the face? This came as a sledge hammer to the face: for some reason my program didn’t dump the data at the end. I waited 5 fucking hours to get nothing.
I am so mad right now. I am so fucking mad.4 -
why people around me act like dump. i have recently worked with this site, which is written in php.
customer: (yelling) my website is hacked, fix it immediately
me : ok sir, we will restore your site immediately
after finishing talk with customer. i have checked website, there is no sign of website being hacked. i have checked server logs and website for security breach, there is no sign.
me: your website is not hacked, sir. can you please tell me where you have seen hacked page.
customer: look at those pages
after seen that page i facepalmed myself. it's a bug, person who created that page just splitted string without using any multibyte function, so page is showing with corrupted characters. i fixed it and problem solved. i have told about that bug, to the person who created that page.
me: hey you have used this function which is not able to handle multibyte characters, you should use multibyte character functions for that one.
person: every characters are the same. we shouldn't need to handle that way.
he is actually a senior developer. who don't even know the difference between unicode and ascii characters.1 -
You thought real fear is deploying to production friday afternoon?
Hah nope.
Real fear is forgetting to flock(); a public toilet door while doing a dump();1 -
I use a library and it gives me some strange error message. No problemo, just file an issue on GitHub asking the maintainer if I'm plain stupid or the lib actually has a flaw. As it was a question, I have not posted a dump and all the shit.
Maintainer responds with a snarky comment about his crystal ball being broken and I have to submit a log, a dump, debug information and a bunch of other stuff.
Well, what choice do I have, I collect all the requested information, create a wall of text comment, all nicely formatted.
And the issue ends here. Myths say, the maintainer got asked to join Elvis on Mars.
I mean, why do you ask all the shit from me in a unprofessional manner just to stop answering? Just say "I have no clue why it behaves like this" and I know whats playin. But that's just ... sad.5 -
Want maximum efficiency in python?
def say(text):
print(text)
You save 2 keypresses everytime you print16 -
Searching for random Linux bug.. finds Gist with exact match (thinking, WOW, thanks Google!)..
It's a 2000+ line log dump. : |3 -
Best:
Really getting into Rust. It has taught me so many things.
1. Null is evil
2. Sum types are amazing
3. Compiler can actually have good error output
4. Multi threading is actually really scary if you don't have a compiler to back you up
Worst:
I had to deal with SSIS. It has also taught me many things:
1. No matter how 'mature' a product is, it can be awful. Simply dump a random error code, the user can figure out what went wrong, no need for good error messages.
2. The modern concept of the database is crap. It's a gigantic global state that is used by everyone and owned by no one.
3. Don't use tools that aren't made to be used with version control.
4. Even when you tell your team that it's bad, you will be ignored. -
Today I dropped and updated a database to override it with local changes. Turned out the same dB was used by another project.
I just destroyed a week worth of work and content.
Good thing I took a dump before dropping everything. Got it running in 5 Minutes7 -
Dear Tailwindcss,
Fuck you.
Fuck you and your messy as fuck html files.
Fuck your shitty pseudo 90s 'Let's dump all our shit in a single html file'.
Fuck your claims of being responsive, most of your widths and heights are done in FUCKING PIXELS.
Fuck your claims of being flexible, adding a 10% width class took 20 minutes of scrolling through your shitty docs.
And the worst part is, the poor devs 4 years from now are gonna be stuck maintaining this goddamn shit because shitty enterprise companies desperately trying to stay relevant are treating this shit like the Holy God of Frontend styling, the solution to CSS once and for all
FUCKING IDIOTS CSS ISN'T BROKEN, THIS GARBAGE IS!!!! WE DON'T NEED A SHITTY SOLUTION TO A PROBLEM THAT DOESN'T EXIST
Tailwind can go fuck itself with it's 200 character html lines9 -
Our relationship is like a diode, you take and never give (I demand sex as compensation).
Btw, I really used this but with simpler words with two girls who wanted a ride to go and have fun with other boys in the clubs...
My best friend gave them a ride for over a year.
When we denied more, they started calling me... Wonder why.
Took them one time, asked for gás money.
Only called me one-month later, didn't ask for gás but said I wanted some snug and fun in return... OK, you can have us both (OH YEAH!!!).
On the club, they go for the muscular guys, leaving me alone.
When I got tired, got to one of them and said, ask your friend a ride home because I'm going now. (they ran for my ride since the guys they picked were all pricks and would probably dump them somewhere).
Never called me again...
Told what I did to my best friend, next time they called he demanded sex for both of us, never called him again.
And that's how you fuck opportunistic people. Fuck them.23 -
Writing a brainfuck interpreter is a lot fun: Mine does recursion within loops. I also added functions: strings, you can cheat. Stackdump(!), Exit script(*) , go to first cell (^), go to last cell(?), nulling cell (0) It parses this for example: "retoor" ^[.>]. It will dump string retoor. Explanation: the string moves ptr to sixth place. ^ will reset pointer to first. [] is a loop that executes as long there's data in current cell. The "." prints char of current cell (Number if not alpha etc). ">" moves a cell to right. [.>] will thus print until it moved to an empty cell. To move to first, I could've also used my repeater function by adding times to repeat after command: <6 moves six places to left. .>.>.>.>.>.> is also a way to print six chars. +[,.] works as the Linux program "cat". , is one char keyboard input.
Thanks for listening to my tedtalk8 -
List of shit my superior said and wrote in the project:
1. Prefer to write "pure" SQL statement rather than ORM to handle basic CRUD ops.
2. Mixing frontend and backend data transformation.
3. Dump validation, data transformation, DB update in one fucking single function.
4. Calculate the datetime manually instead of using library like momentjs or Carbon.
5. No version control until I requested it. Even with vcs, I still have to fucking FTP into the staging and upload file one by one because they don't use SSH (wtf you tell me you don't know basic unix command?)
6. Don't care about efficiency, just loop through thousands of record for every columns in the table. An O(n) ops becomes O(n * m)
7. 6MB for loading a fucking webpage are you kidding me?
Now you telling me you want to make it into AJAX so it'll response faster? #kthxbye2 -
npm: "npm does not support Node.js v10.24.0; You should probably upgrade to a newer version"
Also npm: "Supported releases are the latest release of 4, 6, 7, 8, 9"
Uh...good to know this piece of software is still a dump where rejected code goes to rot.2 -
>Be client
>Have an issue with incredibly slow webpage load time
>Blame memcache issues
So... I look into the problem. Yes, the page either loads up fast, or times out. So, into the logs I go. Webserver is fine (except the timeout), PHP though... Error log is fine (just notices), but slow log shows the issue is the database (of course... its always the database... ugh)
So, checking the database, there is one ugly query that seems to be an issue. 5 joins and a huge where condition.
So I run EXPLAIN on the query and... Proceed to bang my head against the wall.
OF COURSE ITS SLOW YOU FU******, NONE OF YOUR TABLES HAVE ANY INDEXES.
What do they expect when the database has to always go down the whole table and do everything in memory, until it runs out and has to dump it all on disk and work with it there.
Ugh... Some clients... -
It's fucking never worth it, to be decent to colleagues. I got prove of that just this evening. Sorry, this rant will be a bit longer.
A colleague of mine inherited some legacy project that I worked on in the past. He clearly hates working on it. And tbh. I can't blame him for it. It's not very fun. He also makes virtually no effort to become more proficient in it.
This usually leads to him calling for my aid, whenever any problem arises, that would require any kind of effort to solve. I would normally cave in and help him. Mostly due to the fact, that without any intervention from me, it would end on my desk sooner or later.
That changed in the last few months, as I simply couldn't make free time to help him. anymore. I was working overtime and the associated project barely got done on time. During that time I would, as politely as possible, deny him. He knows fully how stressful the project was getting.
Today he asked for help again. I denied again, as a task was due very soon. He didn't reply to my message afterwards. After a few hours suddenly I got a bunch of his jira issues assigned to me.
The motherfucker simply shoved _all_ of his support issues to me. Not only that, he also assigned the issue he was asking for help for earlier as well. All without consulting me or anything. Then he pissed of into his vacation.
Some of his support issues have been created last year! And they are still not solved. He simply isn't replying to questions in those issues or just assigns them to others colleagues without any instructions.
Fuck him. Other colleagues don't even respond to him anymore. He fully fucking knows that I have a tight deathline on my current task. And still he chose to dump all his work on me, so that I have to waste time to reassign it and report it to our superior.
Fuck him for creating more stress in this already stressful situation. Enjoy your vacation you fucking leech. I will have quite a "nice suprise" waiting for you, when you return.15 -
Making a loop is like taking a dump:
If you dont manage all the shit, you'll end up with an overflow. -
Moved to Australia, because it's cooler over there. Pissing on outback stones right now. Who's your daddy?random fuckaburra no coala shove platypus eggs into the abyss wombat sleep in a kangaroo bag kill the dingo whoop whoop take a dump on uluru burn eucalyptus14
-
Writing down your thoughts makes your brain feel free because it doesn't have to keep them inside itself.
It's kinda like talking a huge dump.4 -
Am I the only one who thinks that the new Linux CoC is actually not bad? I think most of the ppl who are flaming about the CoC didn't even read the text. It literally says not be be an asshole and be polite to everyone. What's wrong with that? I know that man think the author has a questionable background. Even if, so what? Dump the CoC and "pull the code" BS because you don't like the author? Let the politics out of open source and get your shit together... and yes I see the irony, but this is the place for ranting :)29
-
Worst part of being a developer is having to educate IT Admins on how to do their job without fucking up mine!
Yes, just delete the Intrusion detection system ...why not! lets burn the office down while we're at it! here wanna take a dump in my coffee?3 -
So, I work in a game development studio, right?
We're trying to launch the title on as many platforms as reasonable, because as a social VR app we're kinda rowing upstream.
So far, Steam and Oculus have been fairly reasonable, if oddly broken and inconsistent.
Enter store 3.
Basically no in-game transaction support (our asking prompted them to *start* developing it. No, it's not very complete). No patch-update system (You want an update? Gotta download the whole fsckin' thing!). No beta-testing functionality for most of their stuff ("Just write the code like the example, it will work, trust us!"). No tools besides the buggy SDK (Wanna upload that new build? Say hello to this page in your web browser!).
So, in other words: Fun.
We've been trying to get actively launched for two months now. Keep in mind that the build has been up on Steam and Oculus for over a year and half a year (respectively), so the actual binary functionality is, presumably fine.
The best feedback we get back tends to be "Well, when we click the Launch button it crashes, so fail."
Meanwhile we're going back and forth, dealing with other-side-of-the-world timezone lag, trying to figure out what is so different from their machines as ours. Eventually we get them to start sending logs (and no, Windows Event logs are not sufficient for GAMES, where did you even get that idea????) except the logs indicate that the program is getting killed so terribly that the engine's built-in crash handler can't even kick in to generate memory dumps or even know it died.
All this boils down to today, where I get a screenshot of their latest attempt.
I just can't even right now.5 -
Not only Windows can show this "strange" error messages: Today I got this beauty while importing an SQL-dump.
(Translation: "Error on import: error on statement #1: not an error. Execution will be aborted and the db will be reset.") -
I met someone who worked at google. She gave me a lot of asvice and made me feel like i knew shit...
We were on a discussion and she made fun of me saying thats i livwd under a rock because i didnt know that youtube was owned by google.
And then she shut me down because i asked her about her opinion about Microsoft and git and told me she didnt know wjat git was.....
Im confused because i was okay not knowing something becausei see myself as learner. Yet she laughed at me. Which i can accept because its okay to laufh about people.
But she shut down the git discussion like a bitch “i don't know what it is and i dont want to speak a out it” in front of her friends.
While i would normaly take a dump on that person's front step, i am living in my partners city where everybody knows Each other.
Regardless, im a bit drunk and shes a ducktwit. I had a great night but ahe made me feel like shit coz she acts like she knows all this shit and im realising that she os just full of shit.6 -
!Rant
The Eve V is a Community Developed Windows Tablet which will be released in Ocotober this year.
The best specs you can get is i7 6th Gen, 16 GB Ram and 500 GB SSD for around 1400$.
He wants 32 GB RAM in such a slim and small Tablet. Also wants a 7th Gen Intel CPU and 1 TB SSD in it. He's ready to pay 1000 $ more for his special edition.
The Eve V is already finished with tooling and they are wating for the screens to arrive. They already have all the other parts.
Dude you're crazy and that specs just for VM's? What are you running? 10x WinShitBox?
He's insulting everyone on the forum with a different opinion and says, retooling will be such easy.
That guy is a real douchebag and doesn't know shit. If you would build in different parts like this, you would need to remodel the whole tablet. You can stick your 1000$ in your ass, retooling would cost more than 10'000$
If it's so easy you shithead, then do it yourself and dont say it's possible and say to other people they should do! 😂😂2 -
Co-Worker: How can I see what's linked to x variable in the database for this website? [we can't see the actual back end]
Me: Do a var dump...
Co-Worker: but what var do I dump? -
One good thing about taking a dump at work is that no matter how senior or junior you are, the sounds are pretty much the same.5
-
Undoubtedly the most common mistake that devs do : Ignoring your personal health, be it mental or physical.
I almost went through a burnout before realising things need to change.
Changed my lifestyle upside down after that
- Switched from wfh to an office job
- I cycle 12kms a day now
- Got a standing desk for myself to be more active
- and have a journal where i literally dump everything off my brain2 -
>uni project
>6 people in group
>3 devs (including me)
I am in charge of electronics and software to control it as well as the application that will use them.
2 other "devs" in charge of a simple website.
Literally, static pages, a login/registration, and a dump of data when users are logged in.
Took on writing the api for the data as well, since I didn't fully trust the other 2.
Finished api, soldered all electronics, 3d printed models.
Check on the website.
Ugly af, badly written html and css.
No function working yet.
Project is due next week Thursday.
Guess who's not having a weekend and gonna be pulling 2 all nighters2 -
Not really a rant but a hear the word 'dump' quite often during the work day and am amazed at how few people giggle at that.2
-
We need an open-source alternative to stack overflow. They have fucking monopolizing pieces of ratshit admins there and lame ass bots.
I HAD A FUCKING 450 REP :/ and now i have "reached my question limit"
I mean its okay of you want to keep stackoverflow clean , but straight out rejecting the new queries should be against your god damn principles, if those mofos have any!
If it is so easy to downvote and delete a question for the mods, why can't they create a trash site called dump.stackoverflow.com ? whenever a question is not following their stupid guidelines , downvote it to oblivion. After a certain limit, that question goes to dump space where it will be automatically removed after 30 days. Atleast give us 30 fucking days to gather attention of audience !
And how does a question defines someone's character that you downright ban the person from asking new questions? Is there a phd that we should be doing in our mother's womb to get qualified as legitimate question author?
"No questions are stupid" is what we usually hear in our school/college life. And that's a stretch, i agree. Some questions are definitely stupid. But "Your questions are so stupid we are removing you from the site" is the worst possible way to deal with a question asker.
Bloody assholes.
Now, can anyone tell me that if am passing a parcelable list of objects in an intent before starting a new activity, how can i retrieve it in the new activity without getting any kotlin warnings?
The compiler is saying that the data coming via intent is that of list<Type!> aka list of platform type, so how to deal with this warning?15 -
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.6 -
First month of project we suggest that we test that Entity Framework has made reasonable DB queries because the system will need to handle a lot of records. “Not a priority in this sprint because we need features.” Devs try to get it into every sprint. The last week of the project they want us to dump in a ton of records so they can test it. The N+1 SELECT query issue is on main queries. It is so bad and slow with more records that a simple query causes the container management to auto scale the application on a single query. They can have max 8 users in the system at a time and it will take 10 seconds to do a simple page refresh.
They get on our case and we dredge up all of the correspondence where they completely ignored our advice. Fix it now! We need another sprint. Fix it free! No.11 -
"First of all, Pascal is the best. Everything you learnt beside Pascal, dump it" - Wise words from ComSci teacher
Ok. I'm good.6 -
Me: "Can you get the user to send us a recent crash dump?"
(Support person forwards my email)
User: "The most recent ones are from November"
Support person: "It seems they haven't had any this month"
Me: (?????!!) "Which November?"
The eventual crash dump was datestamped with today's date. -
When coworkers have a var dump on a page in production.-_-
I aint saying shit because everytime I mention something they do wrong I get assigned with fixing it. -_- -
!Rant
"The best programming language is C++ because games were made with it" OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Do you guys get this unbelievable dump statement too? I could punch every person who ever said dat 😑 Not is is absolutely wrong, C++ isn't even a got language! It's painfully FUCKING slow!! Why the fuck do people say something before they get their freaking brain to work! 😑😑😑
I FUCKING HATE ARGUING WITH THOSE PEOPLE. THEY NEVER ACCEPT OTHER OPINIONS.
GOD DAMN IT!35 -
CEO tells us to delete every Trello boards, and make a big smoking dump of shit of a Trello board out of them, by adding every project for every plaform there, because he is a control freak, and he NEEDS to see every project all in one, because he’s “tired” of switching between boards if he wants to see the completion of a project. Like duh, this is the job of our 2 PM’s, but whatever you dumb fuck. Chaos is coming.....i’m done4
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I hate dev politics...
PM: Hey there is a weird error happening when I upload this file on production, but it works on our test environments.
Me: After looking at this error, I don't find any issues with the code, but this variable is set when the application is first loaded, I bet it wasn't loaded correctly our last deployment and we just need to reload the application.
Senior Dev: We need to output all of the errors and figure out where this error is coming from. Dump out all the errors on everything in production!!
Me: That's dumb... the code works on test... it's not the code.. it's the application.
Senior dev: %$*^$>&÷^> $
Me: Hey I have an idea! If test works... I can go ahead and deploy last week's changes to prod and dump those errors you were talking about!!
Senior Dev: OK
Me: *runs Jenkins job the deploys the new code and restarts the application*
PM: YAY you fixed it!!
Senior Dev: Did you sump put those errors like I said.
Me: Nope didn't touch a thing... I just deployed my irrelevant changes to that error and reloaded the application.2 -
Sometimes, people you work for are just dump.
Someone ask me this:
"Can you help me find the 'e from the internet'?"
And by "e from the internet", she means internet explorer...
The problem was, she right click it and unpinned it from the taskbar...
Ps: it's the same person who maked me do my first Rant.2 -
Me: Alright Derwent, don't fuck up this database update. There's no undo button and no way to import a database backup so you gotta be extra careful or you're going to have to spend hours writing a whole bunch of regular expressions and sql statements to sift through an 11mb database dump and figure out how to restore 59 thousand records to the correct state. Let's practice this transition on a staging server first and make sure we get it right
Me: I got you fam *presses the wrong button* -
Here I am for three months trying to implement TypeScript in this project that was a dump when I picked it up.
And then some morons get assigned to the project and just start adding @ts-nocheck everywhere?
Like, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
And then you wonder why the project is bug-ridden??
FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT CALL THEMSELVES JAVASCRIPT ENGINEERS!! NO WONDER JS GETS SUCH BAD PRESS WITH ALL THESE CLUELESS IDIOTS TO WHOM STATIC TYPING IS JUST AN OBSTACLE TO THEM CHURNING OUT LINE AFTER LINE OF "CODE"3 -
When you put your hands together and start chanting almighty compiler gods to have mercy on your soul.
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One day at the office at whoever built Laravel
Dev: sir, most of devs use php, we can use good old php expressi...
Boss: no, dump all of them, we'll create our own functions that do same job
Dev: ok... So our devs will use mysql, we can use sql quer...
Boss: dump them all too, again, we will make our own functions that dont look anything like that
Dev: we can also use standard...
Boss: NO STANDARDS! Creare every single php method or sql query in another method that does the same job... -
RANT
JetBrains should be renamed in “Shit for brains”.
Actually no. Even the dump I take in the morning has more intelligence than ANY product of that “company”.
What a fucking waste of time…7 -
That shitty moment when you are reverse engineering an app (LINE), but can't find any useful hints.
Web analysis didn't help. Decompiling the windows executable also didn't help. Testing the app on different behaviour with python scripts didn't help. Analysing the android app on windows with the jadx decompiler and other decompiler didn't help that much.
BUT today it worked. I did use a paid "Dex dump" android application. I found some methods that the app receives from the servers with a thrift protocol.
Now I just need to find the right parameters to be finally able to make a bot. Hehehe.
That was a hard way, but it paid out. I did learn so many things. It took me like a whole year.5 -
!dev_related
Finally hit chapter 6 of my book's rough draft!
Feels good to be making good progress, had to do a bit of an info dump on the readers but still need to expand everything.
Might even think about publishing in the future :-D2 -
You're asked if you know how to use git, you say you can but you can't.
You decide to change your entire codebase because you realized your previous approach was a bad idea.
You ask how to change the old repository-content for the new project, you receive answer but you can't get it to work, you don't ask again for help.
What's the logical consequence? Create a public GitHub-Project and dump the entire customer-project under NDA into it -.-* -
I was doing an asset management project for the CTO of a small company in ASP.NET and the CTO decided to stick his crap smeared fingers into the development because he 'developed' a completely different AS/400 system which everyone complained was like having a dog smear it's balls all over your screen while taking a dump on your keyboard. Fucking idiot would have given me 2 weeks extra work with all the shit he broke if it wasn't for version control.
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So I go into Google Search Console to try to determine why its saying pages are not compliant with mobile and whatnot.
3 hours later I come out realizing that what Google REALLY wants is for everyone to build every web page as static HTML with no script tags and never a call to an external website. Just dump all that javascript and css and HTML into one BIG FRIGGIN FILE so our crawler feels satisfied that it's loading everything all in one request.
No CMSes allowed unless GOOGLE built it.
Let's just all revert to HTML 1.0 and be done with it.1 -
I HATE SPRING JPA HIBERNATE AND EVERYTHING RELATED TO FUCKING JAVA.
Everything behaves like it was created with a human as an afterthought, so it torments people and target audience are masochists. This whole ecosystem is an abomination of the software world.
Every fucking error has a thousand possible solutions for every single person AND NOT A SINGLE ONE WORKS!!!
The stupid thing will just keep throwing its internal problems in a stack DUMP DIARRHEA that you have to sort through to find anything remotely useful! I DON’T give a fuck about your stupid internal implementation, just tell me what the fuck you want!
And you have to play the guess game and find the right combination of their stupid little configurations to make it barely work. I couldn’t believe reading stackoverflow, people are just poking at it hoping it will work. And I’m literally stuck and can’t fix the damn thing no mater what I do, and I’m abandoning it.
I won’t touch this pice of shit with a twenty meter pole ever again! Last time I was this frustrated was the stupid java ee. Nothing in the software world has frustrated me this much. How does one even come up with this…
I’m done… I’m just done…5 -
By taking one 30 minute dump in the toilet per day to relax and read other people's code on my phone
-
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13 -
Oh god where do I start!?
In my current role I've had horrific experiences with management and higher ups.
The first time I knew it would be a problem: I was on a Java project that was due to go live within the month. The devs and PM on the project were all due to move on at the end. I was sitting next to the PM, and overheard him saying "we'll implement [important key feature] in hypercare"... I blew my top at him, then had my managers come and see if I was OK.
That particular project overran with me and the permanent devs having to implement the core features of the app for 6mo after everyone else had left.
I've had to be the bearer of bad news a lot.
I work now and then with the CTO, my worst with her:
We had implemented a prototype for the CEO of a sister company, he was chuffed with it. She said something like "why is it not on brand" - there was no brand, so I winged it and used a common design pattern that the CEO had suggested he would like with the sister company's colours and logo. The CTO said something like "the problem is we have wilful amateurs designing..." wilful amateurs. Having worked in web design since I was 12 I'm better than a wilful amateur, that one cut deep.
I've had loads with PMs recently, they basically go:
PM: we need this obscure set up.
Me & team: why not use common sense set up.
PM: I don't care, just do obscure set up.
The most recent was they wanted £250k infrastructure for something that was being done on an AWS TC2.small.
Also recently, and in another direction:
PM: we want this mobile app deploying to our internal MDM.
Us: we don't know what the hell it is, what is it!?
PM: it's [megacorp]'s survey filler app that adds survey results into their core cloud platform
Us: fair enough, we don't like writing form fillers, let us have a look at it.
*queue MITM plain text login, private company data being stored in plain text at /sdcard/ on android.
Us: really sorry guys, this is in no way secure.
Pm: *in a huff now because I took a dump on his doorstep*
I'll think of more when I can. -
Yesterday was a horrible day...
First of all, as we are short of few devs, I was assigned production bugs... Few applications from mobile app were getting fucked up. All fields in db were empty, no customer name, email, mobile number, etc.
I started investigating, took dump from db, analyzed the created_at time stamps. Installed app, tried to reproduce bug, everything worked. Tried API calls from postman, again worked. There were no error emails too.
So I asked for server access logs, devops took 4 hrs just to give me the log. Went through 4 million lines and found 500 errors on mobile apis. Went to the file, no error handling in place.
So I have a bug to fix which occurs 1 in 100 case, no stack trace, no idea what is failing. Fuck my job. -
Who the fuck invented the glorified pile of shit people call laravel? Is this actually used in PROD for anything else than load testing a monitoring server by creating loads of error messages?
OOP exists for a reason, not to create bazillions of classes with static methods.
Dump that shit ffs!6 -
Ugh, since I bought a few domain names, and thus my contact details are public (grrr), I get stupid quotes from people around the world going like: "Hey! I'm a web dev specialised in [insert technology here], I want money! Contact me!", or "Hi, I am [redacted], we are a talented agency in [cuntry] and can offer you the best in web development blablabla".
The only help I need is "fuck off".
It feels like I'm taking a dump in a public toilet and people knock on the door willing to help me clean my ass for me.2 -
I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..
- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"
A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron1 -
Just a short reply to whoever deleted his rant because he didn't read the JS docs.
map is a map. You don't just dump a function call into there. You map the value to el and the value is then set to the function result.
This works:
new Array(38).fill("10").map(el => parseInt(el));6 -
I never knew that debug symbols, a core dump and gdb would be so powerful to debug
The command line is peak ol' reliable7 -
Copies the project from one pc to another,Android studio be like i should dump all the errors unnecessaraily even though there are none😒4
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!dev
People these days...
At a bakery 3 girls didn't bother to clean up after themselves although the only thing left to do was to t aske the tray and dump it's contents into the trash can WHICH IS ON THEIR WAY OUT. Yeah but have enough time to cake on rediculous amounts of makeup...
Someone literally shat at the tram stop at the main station so whenever took leave the tram you might just step into it.
Then there are always those religious people trying to hand out pamplets about how great their religion is and how much it is helping- they stand right next to a crippled homeless begger.
Just wow.9 -
I really don't understand this particular Government Department's IT Unit. They have a system and network to maintain except:
- They don't have a DBA
- They don't have a dedicated Network Engineer or Security Staff
- Zero documentation on all of the systems that they are taking care of (its all in each assigned particular staff's brain they said)
- Unsure and untested way of restoring a backup into a system
- Server passwords are too simple and only one person was holding this whole time and its to an Administrator account. No individual user account.
- System was developed by an in-house developer who is now retired and left very little documentation on its usage but nothing on how its setup.
But, the system has been up and operational for the past 20 years and no major issues whatsoever with the users using it. I mean its a super simple system setup from the looks of it.
1 App Server connected to 1 DB Server, to serve 20-30 users. But it contains millions of records (2GB worth of data dump). I'm trying to swing to them to get me on a part time work to fix these gaps.
God save them for another 20 years.3 -
Dear Webdevs who are able to use bootstrap and CSS properly. I appreciate ur work but hell fucking shitfuck I can't get my mind about it to work. FUCK this piece of container loving table ruining and not aligneable dump4
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White house urges Developers to move away from C/C++
I'm not sure what to think about it yet, but on the surface level, i think that makes sense.
https://infoworld.com/article/...26 -
F**k companies who's apps use MySQL/MariaDB tables of the table engine MEMORY.
Seriously.
That engine *sucks* to work with as an admin. It's such a huge pain in the ass having to always dump the whole DB instead of taking a snapshot.
And if the replica restarts... Poof. Replication breaks. Cuz all the memory tables are suddenly empty!
Fml. Fmfl. Ugh.17 -
>Raspberry Pi on 16GB SD card
>Plugs in 2 flash drives for space, one 8GB and one 32GB
>8GB is allocated entirely for swap
>32GB is separated into 3 partitions and /etc/fstab edited to mount them on /home, /opt and /usr
>Moves files to the proper partitions on stick
>Kernel panic on boot before keyboard is enabled, kernel panic data taller than screen
>No R/W FS for kernel to dump to
fuck my life4 -
Today someone took a shit and didn't flush...
Normally you have your typical candidates, who are pissing standing in the stalls although there are free urinals, people who don't wash their hands after pissing or just splash like 3 fingers with water. Even not washing hands after taking a dump, which is pretty disgusting... But today? Some dude in the stall next to me took a shit, wiped his butt... and went away... No flushing no washing hands... Wtf is wrong with people?5 -
## Scripting myself out of the company
who needs an expensive profiler, when you can make thread dumps and compile them into a flamegraph for free without any risk of outages!
Though what bothers me is that I'm yet to come across a person in this company who knows how to read them (besides me)...
Are flamegraphs really THAT unpopular?
I mean.. you can represent the whole profile in a single image!9 -
How do you organize your downloads folder?
Personally, I make a new folder with some name(altough the name actually being useful is rare) and just select all of my files and dump them there. Finding a file sucks so much though, I can never remember their names so I just look through the folders at the icons and hope I find the file I'm looking for. This mess that is my downloads folder led to looking 5 times in a folder to find a file.
My DOS VM is more organized than that...
Speaking of DOS managing memory in that is hell. I've never had memmaker detect 64MB of RAM, giving the VM 96MB of RAM made it detect 2 more MB or something.5 -
Well it's official...
I've only got Linux on my computers... except one old laptop that I have win7 on that is just perfectly setup and doesn't connect to the internet anymore because it's just a storage dump/ game emulator rig...
Win10 frustrated me for the last time and I don't miss it one bit.3 -
When 32 GB RAM is no longer enough...
:~$ ps -eo pid,pcpu,pmem,vsz,rss,args | grep java | sort -nrk3 | head -1
9071 117 74.6 34740516 24338652 java -Xms2g -Xmx24g -Xss40m -DuploadDir=. -jar webapp-runner-8.0.33.4.jar -AconnectionTimeout=3600000 --port 9000 heaphero.war7 -
<sanityCheck> //asking for a friend
Some clever b*****ds wrecked a section of our production mysql db. To fix it I need to rollback the affected records 2 weeks - around 50/300 tables are affected, the other data must remain intact.
Currently my plan is to take a 2 week old dump and cherry pick the data I need from it, then combine it with a dump of the db in it's current state, drop the db and recreate it.
I know this approach will work - but it's risky, a pain in the ass and dealing with 300mb text files is tedious so since I only need to start in around 8 hours I figured It wouldn't hurt to post my approach and see if anyone thinks my plan is borderline retarded.
If you have any advice .etc that will make my life easier I would greatly appreciate it.
So in your opinion...
- is there a better/safer way?
- do you know of any db dump merge tools?
- have a recommended (linux) text editor for large text files?
- have you made any personal mistakes/fuck ups in the past you think I should avoid?
- am I just being a moron and overthinking this?
- if I am being a moron - In your humble opinion has the time come for me to give up all hope and pursue my dream of becoming a professional couch surfer?
</sanityCheck>
Note: Alternatively, if your just pissed that my rant is asking for a solution instead of simply trashing the people that created my situation and your secretly wishing it was on SO where it belongs so you can moderate/edit/downvote/mark the shit out it, feel welcome to troll me in the comments (getting dev advice just doesn't feel reliable without a troll - you matter to me). Afterwards If your panties are still in a bunch I'll post it on SO and dm a link to you to personally moderate - my days already fucked and I wouldn't want to ruin yours too.4 -
Personally I like to use very obscene phrases as passwords, just in case some saves it in text.
When they read the "dump file" maybe they will be like well we will not be fucking with this one, that person is just sick.1 -
devRant has become such a dump. At this point I’m wondering when dfox and trogus are finally going to decide to pull the plug13
-
My laptop just went through a BSOD and I've been noticing a noise from the hard disk even before the BSOD. Dump says the process that failed is ntoskernel. That's no help.
SMART test said hard disk state as OK but crystaldiskinfo says the following which confused me even more. Is it supposed to be this way?7 -
Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).
Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.
Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.1 -
Other dev in group chat: we need to stop syncing so much data from prod to uat because it's crashing the uat db...
Me thinking: no really... U just realized it's not a good idea to dump most of the prod db into uat every week?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
So we are migrating between different hosts so I write a nice script to move two pieces of encrypted data between the two, one over ssh, the other over https to two separate end points. One boss says can’t do that as it is insecure because they come from the same script!
Another boss objected that I wrote a script to dump databases in bash rather than like his in PHP even all his PHP does is run the same bash commands, I just took out the middleman and made it faster.
#baddayintheoffice #anyonelookingforaseniordev1 -
When you convince your client to purchase a commercial thread-dump analysis tool, and that pies of soft gives you flamegraphs like this one [excerpt].
And then your own TD analysis tool works significantly better than that.
[P.S. I wonder how many of you will spot what's wrong here :) ]5 -
We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
Rant!
Shifted to new office few days back.
Just had to put up with the shitty intermittent internet connection.
SSH failing and coming out for every 50 secs.
Trying to take Mongo Dump and restore for the past 2 hours. Finally! ufff.
When the network is disconnected SSH gets disconnected. Fine. Acceptable. Again, when the network gets connected, it should start from the same place right ? Dumb Enough. But i wanted that today.2 -
I do a lot of linguistic side projects, and got tired of rebuilding the languages table, so I did a bit of looking around today and put together a MySQL table dump with all of the the codes from ISO 639-1, 2, and 3.
If anyone's interested, here's the link. Enjoy!
https://github.com/Kaji01/... -
Hey, I want to name a library of mine something like "San'stools" So it's like "the tools from San" but it can also be "San's stools".
I looked up if stools meant what I thought it meant, little seat stuff, but apparently it's also dump...
Would it be too disgusting? Should I use another name?
How often is the word stool used to refer to... you know...?6 -
going through a rewrite is hell. the first stage you will be disgusted with how they layed out their code, contemplate the dump, eventually rewrite the entire thing, then cry throughout the entire process into your gallons of therapy iced tea.
I don't even know what half of these API calls are for. -
Contrary to popular opinion, I still firmly stand by my belief that you should thoroughly study something in-depth before you attempt to do anything serious with it. Failure to do so will have an enormous cost of waste of time attached to it.
Here's an example:
I was using AJAX to post a multi-part request containing a file.
Now here was the problem: no matter what code I forced in the backend, the browser would in all cases refuse to prompt a SaveFileDialog (and I had turned on the option in the browser to ask the user if download). This took me two entire days and at least 100 Google queries and several RFCs to figure out.
From StackOverflow:
The cause was simply that you can't (typically) make a browser prompt a SaveFileDialog via an AJAX request, even if you set the necessary headers. Why? The browser will just dump everything back into the XmlHttpRequest object..
If you make a regular request with Content-Disposition: attachment; and so on, then it works, but yeah, not with an XmlHttpRequest.
Conclusion:
Had I better studied the HTTP spec, networking and AJAX in-depth, I would have instantly known what the cause was.7 -
October's begun and I haven't even started on my game. Fuck.
My SO's birthday is in December and I wanted to make a small game for her using elements from Limbo and the like because I can't draw anymore and because the graphics automatically become easier to make by myself that way. It's a 2d puzzle solving narration driven platformer where the player finds their way across the levels to his other half (simple and cute, maybe even cheesy).
But see, the thing is, I took on too much work again and I can 'barely' juggle them let alone work on the game and it's going to be December before I'll even know it. And I made sure to plan a really simple game with no extra flowers and shit to make sure I'd finish it on time but I won't be able to at this rate and it just makes me sad, like fuck, should've thought this through before. :/ But now here I am, ranting away while taking the dump of my life on the toilet taking out my frustration in quite the literal sense while verbally slapping my shit on devRant.
Feels bad man. -
I can't decide which is worse
I changed the wrong if statement accidentally sent out 15k emails to a clients customers.
Or
Imported a dump of the database instead of take a dump while a colleague was on site training the client on their software.... But found a flaw in our server backups.1 -
When I think my teachers can get any worse after sending me snippets of several Java classes in a single txt, one of them sent me SQL code of a full database dump in a Word document. 8 pages of SQL in its full glory!
I guess using the proper file extension/format or a service like PasteBin or GitHub Gist is way too advanced for them. -
People that dont use slack threads.
Fuck em.
"Yeah, lets use slack, it is much more organized and will improve structured conversation"
And then they never fuckn use the god damn CORE feature but dump their replies into the channel like monkeys throwing their shit around everywhere except in the place the shits supposed to go.3 -
They say that runing the same command over and over again is a sign of insanity.
LIKE HELL IT IS!!!
I've been running `terraform apply` for the last hour (trying to dump an EKS token in plain-text, because my k8s-related providers failed to auth to the cluster), and miraculously the problem went away. Now the error is no more.
Insanity?
I beg to differ!
Narf!3 -
Have 4 GB micro SD card for my filesystem project.
Every search I do on the hex dump takes 5 minutes (literally)
Exported hex dump to text
Now have 2 9GB text files
Gonna try to import it into mysql for faster querying, wish me luck3 -
Learnt Python Fundamentals while taking a dump...
It might have been due to being in a vulnerable state during that time but I am kind of enjoying the simpletons' language..
Must go to a Doctor for a brain examination... 🤨
I should be concerned -
This afternoon I had my first close encounter with a core dump, while working on my C++ simulation. It was brutal and I probably opted for the less efficient solution to avoid the problem, after hours of fighting. But hey. I'm alive and that is what matters most.
-
When you start your internship with zero knowledge of web development but then becomes responsible of back end web development. #learningthehardway #mybossCCgonnakillme1
-
Took my laptop in the toilet to listen to zoom lectures and i took such a huge and loud dump that besides my mic being unmuted they could also smell it4
-
Episode 2 of taking a big ass dump. This time its 1:54 am and i had to get my ass out of the bed to throw this big nuclear bomb. My legs are once again numb and i cant feel them from dumping for too long. I had to hold on walls and crawl up the bed. But when i did get to bed it was majestic. Numb legs but i dont care. I took a dump and now im 10 kg skinnier and i dont care4
-
I just received my precontract to start in Septmber!!! I've been with my current company for almost 5 years, almost lost myself for ever and any remaining will to live, but finally I'm leaving this dump.
-
some call
- yo bro do you have some time ?
- quick cause I'm taking a dump
- I think I have been hacked, got black screen kernel panick, linux freeze seldomly I have to reboot, no internet connexion
- save your stuff and reinstall linux
- I don't have enough stockage to backup
- Then buy one and save, probably either OS is fcked up or you have some hdd problems
Time that it will take: ~30min to reinstall whole shit
Peace duration: ~2years
Later on the same day
aunt
- I can't log into windows
- Did you change the password ?
- Yes but it does not work anymore
* looking at shit
* logs successfully. Reason: interface changed after automatic update.
* wait.
* wait some more so fucking windows fucking starts
* Desktop is ugly as fck.
* Some stupid settings messed up (like high contrast set, black theme or so)
aunt (the same)
- I can't log into my (other) laptop either
* logs
* wait more more more
Guess what: automatic updaaaates. Freezes 100%cpu
* Being a very experienced user: wait before reboot because this suckass os will probably fail to boot otherwise
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates...
* reboots
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates continuing...
* finally boot (feels like a miracle windows succeeds lol)
* still slow
aunt now sleeps
* look at running process and install programs
* sees shits like camera recognition (vendor installed), candycrush
* occasionnaly get adds
time lost: 2h
peace duration: ~3month
FFS I am a dev, not a fucking trash lover
It is already pain to fix someone os, but windows is the cream of cream
It brings no ease of use for novice user
It is so insanely slow
It has stupid settings set up by default!!!!!!!! Who FFS wants candycrush and ads
The maj are so fcking hazardous. It is 2022 pretty much the same as 15y back then. Updates take fucking eternity. And needs reboot. and are not even finished!!!
I swear I am gonna stretch my ass and install linux and any fckin other toolsuite needed so they can use Micro$$ word, which is the only fucking usecase they need windows for in the first case anyway
I SO wish this OS would die
I mean, even more than safari7 -
Woke up
Sit at computer
Start to code cause i have a lot of shit to do and i have to do it in a fast enough timeframe
Stomach: nah hold on remember the recruiter from yesterday? The one who posted a job requirements of 3+ years experience, you told him you have 8+ years and he rejected you because you don't have 10+ years? Yeah. You feeling that in your stomach? That's the bullshit from yesterday that piled up now. Go and take a shit now
And now im wasting my time writing this rant while shitting the bullshit from yesterday. I hate shitting. But recruiters make me shit so much. Recruiters somehow transfer wirelessly their bullshit onto me so i have to dump the shit somewhere else. Cant hold it in me from the huge mass of the bullshit they have.
Woke up and didnt even have time to start coding from how much my belly wanted to shit. By writing this pointless poentry of a rant to kill some time until i dump all the bullshit out and finally start coding my side project asap i imagine this toilet to be the face of all recruiters. Clients. Jobs. Schools. Colleges. Teachers. Everyone who deceived me and wasted my time. Truly fuck off and get fucked4 -
As a developer you're expected to perform all sorts of tasks that don't necessarily involve any coding or development at all. "A web form in Drupal? Uhm, it's got something to do with the web, right? Yeah, let's dump it on 'IT'."
So now I've been given this most frustrating task to use some form engine in Drupal. I have no access to the PHP code itself, and I don't even know what this form engine is called. All I know it's the crappiest of crap. The more I use it the more I hate it. -
I am supposed to make a module that does sftp to third parties. Users put in their credentials and we connect and dump files on their servers. It seems like a terrible idea. We don’t administer those computers or define anything about their security. We don’t know if they are entering third party credentials or handling data according to our TOS. Can’t we just send them a presigned link by email on a schedule or something?2
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This is one of my really passionate issue with the world, ** Food waste **
Isn't it the most dumbest problem? Every time a marriage, celebration, event happens at the end of the day a huge portion of the high quality food is just thrown into a dump. Does just picking up the trash or disposing the waste solve anything or is it just a way corporation schemed us to believe we are doing something for the world by disposing waste.5 -
The customer wants to migrate his old store into WooCommerce. Here's a MySQL dump with 130 tables and no documentation on how they're related.
You also have to scrape all of the couple thousand product images off their site because they don't want their old dev knowing, so you can't just have FTP access...1 -
How do you restore partial data from a mysql backup? Don't worry, nothing is wrong, I'm just thinking about how would I restore something if shit hits the fan.
Our current strategy for database backups is to just run mysqldump during the night, using a cronjob (feel freue to suggest a better way ;))
1) Restoring the full db: just read that sql file into the mysql command.
2) Restoring just one (or some) tables: open the file in an IDE, just select the lines you're after, copy them to a new file, read that one (possible issues: let's say we have a table B to which entries of table A are related and we just want to restore table A. We can't nuke table B too, as also table C is refering to it, so we have to do some orphant removal in B afterwards)
3) Restoring selected entries in specific tables: setup a new db, read the full backup in there, dump these entries to a new file and read that into the real db
How do you so it? Any better aproaches/tools?8 -
It's so annoying to set up a vm and oracle DB. Just when you think that you are done with recreating a schema from schema dump, four packages won't compile. And of course they are wrapped and it's the most generic malformed or corrupted wrapper unit error...
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I've worked with a couple of languages but python won my heart at the end
Been using it for 5 years now
But I feel I need to revisit java and c#
But my python conscience whispers:
"Yu want to dump me now... of all the things we've done together"4 -
Having a vacation in Italy ATM. Walking around Naples, hoping to see beautiful things, but.. So far the only thought spinning in my head is
while(location.contains("Naples"))
System.gc();
Jesus, how can people live in a dump like this. A full GC is loooong overdue!20 -
Disconnect from everything that you're thinking of for a moment. Step away from your computer, and dump all of your thoughts out for about five minutes.
In better terms: clear your cache. Your devices need it, and you need it too. Bonus points if you give your eyes a stretch and look outside your window.2 -
Who else knows and FUCKING HATES CITRIX? This dump piece of VM software runs like shit in our company, crashes often and destroys my ours of work daily!
I need this frecking piece of shit to plan new Glasfiber connections to customers... Not wondering everyone hates my company because we can't fucking work!1 -
The best solutions to programming problems come to me mainly when I am away from computer....
especially when taking a dump🙈 -
So nice, a good, well structured DTAP environment with Acceptance and Test containing a recent dump from Production so that bugs can be reproduced properly........ *wakes up*
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Was absent minded this whole day, sorry if my answers took long / were out of context @ the meetup.
I was poking why a bona fide DB import didn't work...
VARCHAR(254) COLLATE utf8_unicode_ci GENERATED ALWAYS AS (LOWER(...)) VIRTUAL
MySQL 5.7 to MariaDb 10.5 ...
After long hours of poking:
https://jira.mariadb.org/browse/...
Yeah. It's the COLLATE statement. *narf*
I love SQL, but god damn it this stupid fscking frigging dumb platform and version specific behaviour is fucking annoying.
sed -Ei 's|COLLATE.*GENERATED|GENERATED|g' helps. Just takes a bit of time on an 75G sql dump. -.-
Took only 4.5 hours to find out.
But now test suites are crunching, looking good til now.... *sigh*2 -
God, these people...
Little backstory. I'm making an training application and we have a MySQL database set up where some elements of the training are configured. This is so learning experts can easily change some aspects of the training without programmer's help.
Meanwhile, I'm also in the middle of a server migration, because our current server is running a lot of deprecated software and is in dire need of replacement.
This is going pretty slowly, though, because of other, high-priority, work that keeps being shoved my way.
Now, someone accidentally deletes a bunch of data from one of the schemas. No big deal in my book, the training is still in development and we have nightly backups of the database.
So I shoot a support ticket to the hosting provider and ask them to restore a specific schema, telling them to restore the image to some other machine and dump the tables in an MySQL file so I can restore it that way.
I also told them to get the backup of the OLD server, not the NEW one we're still migrating to.
About an hour later, I get a message that they dumped the schema's files in a Temp folder on the D drive. So I RDP to the server to check and... The files aren't there. Just before writing a response asking where the file is, I remembered the server I was migrating to and checked that server, and there were the files.
I had already migrated part of our databases and was testing compatibility before I moved to something else.
The hosting provider just dumped the files of the wrong server, despite me telling them exactly which server to use.
This is not the first time this hosting provider has let me down...
I'm really considering jumping to another if they keep doing this... -
The pain of creating a data pipeline in AWS to dump all your DynamoDB tables into S3 is something I don't want anyone else to go through..Why don't you have a copy button..😭😭
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Ok, this question is related to mysql and php.,
Let me state the current situation
I have a db, say "gd".
That db has several tables all with same columns.(i.e same fields for different manufacturers such as product name, cost , stock etc.)
Now i want to know how many tables have the product 'a' in them and what's the cost of 'a' in each of those table.(tables are generated dynamically so I'll never now how many tables are there, well ofcourse i can refer information schema, but just wanted to highlight this fact). So is there a way to achieve this?.. excluding "dump the whole data and then search it" solution.
Plz help, .. sorry for my bad English, .9 -
Is anybody aware of some tecnique to install Visual Studio without having it to dump like 20Gb of useless garbage in unforeseeable locations of your hard drive?10
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Today i got so fucking depressed and discouraged because whenever i tell people "i am a software engineer" or "programmer" especially fking girls they just fuckin leave. They dump you. Imagine seeing someone with both ur eyes, both of ur shits seeing someone go from high interest and then watch their interest drop
D
E
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P
D
O
W
N
L
I
K
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F
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C
K
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T
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S
All the fckin way back to 0 if not even below that.... How the fuck am i fuvjin g supposed to fking feel. What am i supposed to think. This is such a fucking bullshit. I am fking wordless.
Hhhhhhhhh
Each time this shit happens i question myself if i should regret wanting to be a software developer or not6 -
I spent an entire morning trying to figure out why my development branch of my web app was taking a dump on itself after I rolled it back to production. Only to realize that a config file wasn't in the folder. So I threw away all my changes for nothing.
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Reviewing a PHP constant dump I did a while back. Thinking about playing a small prank on the intern by replacing some of the ones used in a project with equivalent, but obscure, ones defined by PHP.
For example:
if ($test == CAL_EASTER_ROMAN) ...
$meta = get_post_meta($post_id, $meta_key, FTP_ASCII); ... -
I just posted dump of my notes on linear transformations, any feedback is appreciated! ◾️▫️
https://monades.dev/notes-on-linear...2 -
I hate when programming books have shit code examples.
Just came across these, in a single example app in a Go book:
- inconsistent casing of names
- ignoring go doc conventions about how comments should look like
- failing to provide comments beyond captain obvious level ones
- some essential functionality delegated to a "utils" file, and they should not be there (the whole file should not exist in such a small project. If you already dump your code into a "utils" here, what will you do in a large project?)
- arbitrary project structure. Why are some things dumped in package main, while others are separated out?
- why is db connection string hardcoded, yet the IP and port for the app to listen on is configurable from a json file?
- why does the data access code contain random functions that format dates for templates? If anything, these should really be in "utils".
- failing to use gofmt
These are just at a first glance. Seriously man, wft!
I wanted to check what topics could be useful from the book, but I guess this one is a stinker. It's just a shame that beginners will work through stuff like this and think this is the way it should be done.3 -
I love Django, the philosophy behind it and how smart it is. I hate the Python ecosystem. virtualenv and pip is really dump e.g.4
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Ive been holding shits inside me for the past 2 days, friday whole day cuz of work, saturday whole day cuz of sexing my hot blonde gf, now i came back home, voted for a different president so my country can have potential to stop being a piece of trash and now that im home, the shitter does not know whats coming, its gonna be such a large dump of a nuke the shitter has never seen before. Im so full of shit i can feel it inside of me11
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Do you believe in QA who only tests the application as a user i.e just blackbox testing of clicking here and there.?
The QAs in my company doesn't have a clue on how the shit works and most of them don't even understand a line of code.
I feel that it's really important to test the application from the web api level as well to test out all the complex business logics which may not be feasible from the UI.15 -
The PM is trying to dump the responsibility of change management onto me
What the absolute fuck im your developer and you want me to spend my time filling in data on spreadsheet? Everytime I update an environment I send out emails by fucking hand already because ya'll to cheap for change management software, fill your own damn spreadsheet. You know, do management, your job?
For fucks sakes2 -
trying to analyze and debug code from a wordpress plugin -> fml!
i should just dump this shit and make my own. oh, no time and budget, no problem, i love to spend hours reading someones code and beeing inefficient as fuck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(i suggested to do it on our own a few weeks ago, now i should fix it till end of the day)2 -
Please help me before I get mad,
First day with Linux Mint.
Objective: Make a 3Tb Hdd Read and Write, Right now I can use it only to Read.
Finally Installed Linux after some bumps (bad ISO).
I have 2 HDDs, the SSD with Linux and a 3Tb HDD
Right now the 3T has 4 partitions, one for windows, 3 for personal use with lots of personal stuff I can't lose.
I've been looking for videos, tutorials and the maximum I got was to had one partition mounted as a folder
<code>
# /etc/fstab: static file system information.
#
# Use 'blkid' to print the universally unique identifier for a
# device; this may be used with UUID= as a more robust way to name devices
# that works even if disks are added and removed. See fstab(5).
#
# <file system> <mount point> <type> <options> <dump> <pass>
# / was on /dev/sda1 during installation
UUID=f0a65631-ccec-4aec-bbf5-393f83e230db / ext4 errors=remount-ro 0 1
/swapfile none swap sw 0 0
UUID=F8F07052F07018D8 /mnt/3T_Rodrigo ntfs-3g rw,auto,users,uid=1000,gid=100,dmask=027,fmask=137,utf8 0 0
</code>
What am I missing?
PS.: Next: Make fingerprint work in Linux14 -
Java is perfect if you are a narcissistic egomaniac with OCD who has to declare a data type for every variable. Back to python10
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Started new job as software developer in a financial institution... Have to learn c#, c# devs here any good tips??7
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Adobe Cloud got my computer messed up and it couldn't even be uninstalled! I got so p-o I went to the registry and nuked anything containing the word "adobe" in it. Pheeew, what a relief! Like taking a real good dump! My computer both starts and runs faster now, and without popups requesting me to log in to Adobe Cloud.
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Is it just me or is it nearly impossible to get Chrome to dump its cache?
I'm curling a CloudFront distribution from command line and getting a different HTML file to when I clear the cache on Chrome. Firefox browser works fine from fresh install.
Chrome incognito also works3 -
TFW they decide to dump the enterprise application you have built from the bottom unto the wrong hands...
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Cross post from /r/cscareerquestions
Hey guys how are you all doing!?
I got into university this September (Computer Engineering & Informatics).
Although I've been programming java since I was 14 (github.com/zarkopafilis), discussions with a friend who is a dot net guy and has been working full-time C# for 2 years now got me thinking.
Alright, Java's good. I've learned to love and hate the language. I also like Spring Boot and whole this ecosystem of stuff including Scala and the other Java based languages. Currently I'm in the proccess of completing some personal project of mine.
Alright, here's the big question: Assuming I am going to graduate (and start working) in 5-7-8 years (Masters, PhD - who knows), which language would you suggest I stick with and start learning? - for backend programming of course.
Don't tell me JavaScript. Although I don't like it I've digested the fact that I'll have to learn some of it for sure.
Currently that's what I'm thinking: Invest some more time learning how the JVM works (and probably keep improving my code quality). Also learn some more stuff regarding Spring Boot (and/or Web Services in general). Then advance onto Scala till couple of years pass. In that time I shall keep improving my SQL skills.
On the other hand I may start learning C# along with .NETcore .
Sidenote: Personally I prefer statically typed languages, that's why I dislike stuff like js and python although I occasionally find myself fiddling with small projects like some laser tracker written with python + opencv.
Sorry if this reads like a big disorganized dump of thoughts. Thanks in advance! :)3 -
Went to take a shit
But before i rolled my pants down i thought about having to waste time to roll my pants down waste time to sit down waste time to shit waste time to wipe waste time to get up waste time to pull my pants up waste time to back to chair and frankly.... i got quite overwhelmed already so i said Fuck off just stfu and shit inside my guts. And so i did. I refused shitting in toilet and got back to my chair to let my stomach now shit inside me and shit all over my guts. Fuck off. Dont give a fuck. Im too old and too fucking tired to waste so much time shitting. From now on ill have to hold my shit and shit inside of myself until i really really cant take the load and need to dump it somewhere outside my body
So because of that I'll literally walk full of shit. I'll be The Shit. Full of bullshit. Exactly how full of bullshit are the recruiters are the entire job market, and especially, how FULL of BULLSHIT is the ENTIRE CORPORATE WORLD6 -
So late last yearI was made reduantant. Admittedly at the time I was exceedingly conflicted about the whole thing. One one hand it was a toxic dump of a workplace. On the other, I suddenly had no work, a place I'm not overly familiar with.
So a very stressed me started the ring around, posting resumes, meeting with the giant waste of oxygen that is recruitmemt agencies etc etc. Finally, after talking with yet another recruitmemt agency, I had a phone call with my current boss. He informed me that he didn't really have any work but asked me to come in for a chat anyway.
Figuring I had nothing to lose so I drove 1 hour and 15 minutes to meet with him and the senior developer. I was asked 20 questions to assess my technical skill level, of which I got 19 correct. In the end they were so impressed by me that they gave me a position they weren't hiring for. Needless to say I was quite chuffed with myself! 😉 -
R&D Lead Architect: "We want this next gen platform to be all AWS."
Us: "Alright, can we talk about automated testing?"
R&D Lead Architect: "Sure, for automated tests you'll want to just dump events from your system into a flat file on S3. It's readable with Microsoft Excel."
Us now: still here.
R&D Lead Architect now: not here.
:) -
i am starting to think that programmers are stupidest semi-intelligent mother fuckers on the planet... simple shit gets turned into spider web of over complicated nonsense ... which simply means if u cant make shit simple... U R ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER...
ps. i just tried changing tab from 4 to 3 in atom... those are some dump mother fuckers there...1 -
Todays website fail:
Notice: The called constructor method for WP_Widget in FollowMeWidget is deprecated since version 4.3.0! Use
__construct()
instead. in /home/vapingst/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 3893
Notice: The called constructor method for WP_Widget in FooterContactUsWidget is deprecated since version 4.3.0! Use
__construct()
instead. in /home/vapingst/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 3893 -
I still wonder why there's this "a man writes more optimised code than compiler" stuff. Why?
Compiler is automated work, in the worst case it should be able to create multiple e.g. asms and compare the time, right? You can dump all instructions into compiler, it should be able to choose the right one even if it would compile whole days, right? You can't be possibly serious with such a statement.
No "time" arguments, please.2 -
I felt pretty smart about replacing that huge php database import script with a bash script loading the XML dump via MySQL's LOAD XML INFILE feature directly.
Why then does the php script only take 35 minutes for all the tables to import, whereas my script takes almost 2 fucking hours for that one table? We are talking an import of the ridiculous size of 70 MB. I don't get it. It's supposed to be fast.2 -
Starting a project for work and realized it would be a good idea to use a framework as by my initial anticipations i see this growing fairly complex. I choose to go with Angular 1.x because I'm lile "hey i know that already", but there's one teensie problem--it hit me that i haven't looked at Angular so long that I have no fucking clue how to start up an Angular project from scratch properly. Oh well, time to dump an old project in the public folder and figure this shit out one error at a time
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Scrum standups and standdowns at my university be like: "oh let's discuss everything that comes to our mind and talk about it for an hour" - Professors 2016
(Only ranted this because I had to take a huge dump and had to hold it for a hour ;_;) -
I'm sitting waiting for the interview and I remembered to brain dump whatever here
(secret: I dont know if I want this job!)2 -
"X is dead! My project has just gone up in smoke, because docs/programs have been permanently lost."
This time, it's Sun. No one's dumped their compiler package CDs for Solaris, and now you can't order them. Whoops! There's like 5 versions of Solaris that have SDKs and docs that are just gone.
Dump your CDs, you stingy motherfuckers. "oh they're stamped, they have my name in them, i paid $600 for the license" do it anyway, because time is unrelenting and the rot claims us all. we must run faster than it does, and you're just standing still.7 -
Why do tech writers always produce deliverable documents in Word files instead of Markdown, LaTeX, or anything that is easy to CM? It would be easier to track revision history and dump out of the CI/CD pipeline to the customer.4
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I feel soo good and so much better after dumping a big shit. Feel like i lose weight and corporate bs each time i dump a big pile of Shit
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My experience with Visual Studio Code hasn't been nice and I'm honestly kind of not liking it at this point in time :-(
Maybe it's just me who's being a dump-kop1 -
Spent the last couple hours of the day trying to solve issue in my code and fuck I feel so dump after fixing it! A tiny tiny issue can fuck your code and fuck your brain!1
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The moment when your users insist adding a number for custom "ordering" in their e-Commerce solution.
Next thing you know is your PM appreciating the idea and thinks you're dump for not doing it.1 -
I'm gonna soon start on a gaming project with my team, it's not gonna be something we want to push but it's gonna be an on going project to slowly grow some skills within the whole learning and understanding game machenics. Any advice from any fellow veterans :3 ?2
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Update:
Having a dump on a train is the equivalent of sitting on a bucking bronco that vibrates enough for you to feel like you're 1" above the bowl7 -
alright, so I'm seeding the DB with a 4GB SQL dump through a k8s port-forward across the world (behind the pond), port-forwarded through socat (a bastian container).
What are the chances I'll succeed? :D4 -
Starting to wonder why I tend to like our QA people so much: they often seem so much saner. Yes, sometimes they quibble as with the complaints about a page that is hidden from the user anyway, but they would usually not creep to deep into the hole creating most unintuitive workflows and abysmal logic.
Disclaimer: We're more like backend devs, but we had to do a UI which was beautifully slaughtered by the CEO messing with it - guess what's happening with the new one - and because of that... thing I already nearly smashed my Mac because stupid entered credentials for updating software would only be applied if you defocused once out of the password entry box. Fucked up stuff like this, which devs meddle with, give up, just shrug it off and dump it on the (l)user.
Or a more recent example: So PM wanted a stupid "Apply to all" buttons on a list that can be filtered. Guess to which items the actions should be applied if you filtered it and you currently only see a small selection in your window! Yes, of course it still applies to all items in the universe. QA guy who's just trying the buttons comes to me: "Hey, you sure this "apply all"-stuff supposed to work like that?"
Third example to end this long QA-praise: So there is this virtual appliance we build and we should support another stupid hypervisor.. and he found the kernel modules I have to activate additionally so we can just convert the existing image without having to create a new build system.3 -
So Google WiFi works great for the first week, now its taken a dump and barely getting any internet speed at all (if at all). I know its not my ISP considering that my desktop is getting 10 down1
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I refactor, speed up, and generally slim down our api tests - so our 'api test' specialist QAs can happily dump thousands upon thousands of lines of new copy-pasted test cases in again with every commit, without fear of the test execution pipeline timing out again...
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i hate children, all of them, every single one. all of those disgusting freeloaders!!! they don't pay money at all, yet they get to enjoy lavish lifestyles!! we need to stop this and dump them all in the trash! subscribe to my course to learn the best ways to kill children: ibeatkids.com3
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Does anyone here knows some efficiant way for stupid Broadcom wifi card to work efficiant on linux? Its Bcm43142. I recently transfered on Manjaro by suggestion of fellow ranters, but little that I knew or I wanted to forget from earlier experiences that Broadcom is bag of balls that noone wants and that it doesnt work correctly on any distro. I'm feeling like protagonist of that meme "C'mon, do something...". I really dont want to give up on linux once again cuz of dump wifi controller.7
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!dev
When a process works better than expected but you were hoping that it only works as expected...
USPS (mail service) is known for being crappy. I couldn't submit a temp address change via web bc I couldn't type my apartment unit # into their web form but a mail hold request where u manually just enter any address worked.
So I was at my parents for a month, just got back yesterday.
I put in a mail hold n before I left my apt, but expired on like Wednesday.
So when I got back Saturday, I expected a huge mail dump but I couldn't find any mail...
However last week I went to the local office and put in a Temp change of address bc there was a chance I'd go just to get the mail but not stay for other reasons...
Got confirm letter that it would be effective like Saturday.
I'm thinking it won't cover the mail held during the mail hold.
Well apparently it did... So now all my mail is at my parents but I'm back in my apt... -
Fatal problem in weekly rant 4: Segmentation fault
No further messages available
Core was not dump for reasons unknow -
Is this some fucking standard to provide a dump of your shitty xml api instead of just giving xsd file?3
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Okay guys, after sleeping it over I decided that I didn't need to dump my entire stack of Java/mySQL and instead just slow the hell down on my development time. I'm going from Udemy to a book to help me be a better dev and this is a night and day difference as my book breaks every bit apart and explains it in a lot more depth than having a video walk me through it. What I wouldn't do without Amazon's Kindle service I tell ya...:)
The only major thing I'm changing in this project is committing to one Javascript tool, REACT, as I need a simple tool to ease myself into learning Javascript. Wish me luck. :P
Today I'm starting the project over, but this time breaking it down and going at better pace. Thanks for all the advice guys. :)
...I'm going to need a lot of Jack Daniels for this project aren't I?5 -
I have a HUGE diarrhea for several hours now. It wont go away. Every 30 minutes or so i have to take a big dump. And its always such a huge explosion of literal liquid instead of shit. Well its still shit but in a liquid form. Its like im pissing but shit. For the last couple of weeks im not eating right because of huge amount of stress wave. Im eating very lightweight food and in a small quantity while drinking water a lot. Could that be the reason or does it have something to do with covid i had last week? Either way help me get this explosive diarrhea out of me what should i do24
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The biggest mistake my colleague done is -
update query for admin_reports table without where clause in mysql in production db. Right after that no admin reports. More than 1000 rows affected.
Glad we luckily we have some data in staging machine.. I don't know Why TF our devops team not taking backup. Hope they will from now.
Nom I'm using python to dump the data from staging and save it local file and then export to production.
#HisLifeSucks
#HeartBeatsFast -
The whole windows server + ms sql server ordeal is the biggest fucking joke I've ever seen in my time being a dev.
The ms sql dashboard uses a hidden user to access files and stuffs, so I spent 1 hour trying to make the dashboard's explorer to find the database dump file, only to find out that the file need to be owned by the hidden user. So
I spent about 1 hour trying to set the correct owner of the dump file, but to no avail, the explorer still couldn't pick it up. Then I spent another hour to set the correct owner for the containing folder. Finally, a 6 years old answer on SO point out that I should just put the fucking .bak file in their default folder, and voilà, the fucking thing works like a charm.
I can't get why Microsoft has to go out of their way making permission management on their os so fucking convoluted. The fucking usernames are a fucking mess, you have to go through a bunch of form to change just the owner of a file (please don't start me up with that running some command on powershell bullshit, I would rather deal with bad GUI than a badly designed CLI)
If I were to being positive though, Microsoft is actually one of a few tech companies having a good technical decision of moving their shits over Linux. -
Ok so.
You know you have to deal with annoying things when you take on a guard duty role and yes, we signed up for it because of the mullah.
However, you also want to do this with a reliable and robust monitoring and alerting systemthat you can depend on! And no i am not going to advertise a product for this... What i will tell you is which one to avoid.
Meet Quest "Foglight" ... It does EVERYTHING! It monitors, it alerts, it does trend watching it does fancy shmancy graphics, it does reporting, it is very extendable... WAUW, right! right?
Well, if you were stuck somewhere in 2005-2010 maybe... But this fucklight is cutting short on EVERYTHING
Today , i got called up at 3:30 in the morning (i am typing this after the incident) because this shit of a system has "HIgh Availability" by basically letting the FMS server suck each others jaggons and hope it somehow respons. This is a sort of keepalived thing, but on proprietary java tech..
Oh, yes, it's written on java and... yes.. Java 6
This means that, effectively we are running RHEL5 machines (yes, RHEL 5!!!) because something more modern in place? nope.
I have no idea anymore what i am ranting about, i'm tired, i'm tired of this shit, i'm tired of getting called up just because of some dude has been cussing up a sales representative, sucked each others jaggons and pushed the federal goverment with a shit solution for almost a decade now.
Fuck Foglight
Fuck Quest software, because did you really think you would get enterprise level support for an enterprise product which you payed enterprise euro's for it? You are so naive, how cute...
And consequently : Fuck Dell and Good job Dell.. For purchasing quest software, mess around with it, and then dump it back to the market... Srsly Dell , you were like me when i had this hot ass chick as a girlfriend but later seemed to be too crazy to justifiably tolerate compared to her hotness. Dump it like it's trump.
Oh, and, wauw! Foglight graced us with a successful startup process after .. what.. 6 times restarting? In 2 hours... With 12 CPU's and 128 GB ram and .... oh fuck this you don't deserve such resources.4 -
I‘m currently working fulltime in IT, i would say as a business analyst/ requirement engineer. I do this job for 2 years now and its no fun for me because its only interfaces we work on.I am also studying software engineering in the evenings.
At the UAS programming is really fun for me and seeing progress instead of only interfaces really makes me happy..but i am scared to not have skills for starting as a developer fulltime and get called dump or something like this. Do you guys have any advice for me? Is it ok to start as a junior directly after UAS? -
How the HELL someone develops a 'NEW' (essentially table layouts from the '90s) way of building layout with CSS and delivers this massive dump?
Why can't I make a div expand to fill the remainder space in this layout?
https://stackblitz.com/edit/...
Seriously... I need to wrap 10 divs inside each other to make a design behave correctly really like in the 90s? And the new kids on the block think this 'flexbox' is any good? Amazing sheeple... amazing. ADD MORE WRAPPERS!
align-self should JUST WORK in the example above... but hey... it does not.
I just want to be able to add/remove the sidebar and content, keeping the footer below and headers above.
It's amazing the ammount of shims required to do anything in development on the frontend.5 -
Assuming that the spirit of the question means that you are required to actually build something instead of sitting around doing nothing as a requirement for your impossible superpower, I would, in order:
1. Develop hundreds of shitty mobile games and flood the Android market, making millions of dollars.
2. Use this to fund competitors to every major tech company in the world, making billions of dollars.
3. Dump a very large portion of this money into a research group for a complete anti-aging treatement.
4. Sell this only to the top bidders. Make more billions.
5. Use the money to colonize another planet, perhaps in another solar system entirely. Create a transport line that provides free doses of aforementioned treatement. Bring only scientists and their families. Create a utopia from scratch.
6. Develop machines to automate all aspects of life. Live in utopia with no need for money. Allow everyone to persue passions with unlimited time and nearly unlimited resources.1 -
Well thanks a lot for the clarification of WHY I cannot sync my work (Office 365) mail using the mail client in Windows 10!
It's not that it's wrong; it's (probably) very much correct.
It's not that it's not precise; I don't think it could be anymore precise than a data dump like that.
It's not that trying to help me solve the problems; I'm sure it is.
But now that I have all the (debug) info about the security policies in place it would be great if it would show what violated which policy and maybe even what they mean and how to fix it?
The most concrete to go by is the error code, and judging by a google that has meant "your mail has problems" for at least three years...
...not even a single link was found to the (only) page detailing content, possible values, and dependencies between policies. -
My team is pretty small right now. It's myself and two other guys. One lead, who's been here for five years. A senior who we brought on 2 weeks ago. And me, a regular app dev. The lead put his two weeks in last week and has been trying to brain dump as much as he can onto us.
I've been building a list of prioritization to compensate for when he leaves based on what he was saying was the most important. This list has gotten pretty massive after reviewing most of the processes in place.
I was hired mainly to quell new requests coming in and not to maintain our systems, so that's what I did. I didn't examine our prod code base too closely. I wish I had. It's in a sorry state. I'm pretty sure I have about 2 years of tech debt for a crew of two guys constantly working on it.
I've been trying to prioritize based on what gets the most bug fixes and change requests. These apps will see the biggest changes and will undergo the most maintenance.
Since I'm just a regular app dev it feels weird trying to come up with this and try to prioritize this and come up with a plan. It feels like someone else should have. If it needs done then I guess it needs done. I need to be able to collaborate and work with my co worker and be able to plan for what projects are coming next.
If anyone has any suggestions to tackle tech debt please make them. Or if there's any help for managing priorities in a different manner that may prove helpful I'm open. Honestly, I don't want to tackle this completely blind, it feels like a lot.1 -
I tried to run a migration I wrote with a an older dump from production. Turns out it had a cost of 150129966.7 and didn't finish within half an hour. Turns out I didn't understand joins in update queries as well as I thought1
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Okay, so, I have a functional snort agent instance, and it's spewing out alerts in it's "brilliant" unified2 log format.
I'm able to dump the log contents using the "u2spewfoo" utility (wtf even is that name lol... Unified2... something foo) but... It gives me... data. With no actual hint as to *what* rule made it log this. What is it that it found?
All I see are IDs and numbers and timings and stuff... How do I get this
(Event)
sensor id: 0 event id: 5540 event second: 1621329398 event microsecond: 388969
sig id: 366 gen id: 1 revision: 7 classification: 29
priority: 3 ip source: *src-ip* ip destination: *my-ip*
src port: 8 dest port: 0 protocol: 1 impact_flag: 0 blocked: 0
mpls label: 0 vland id: 0 policy id: 0
into information like "SYN flood from src-ip to destination-ip" -
Todays website fail:
Fatal error: Call to a member function using_permalinks() on a non-object in /hermes/walnaweb11a/b2165/moo.hamradiosciencecom/hamradioscience/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 771 -
On Friday I talked about a program that I copied and pasted into my own, and when I was testing it, it didn't work like the original.
If I kept it as the original, it wouldn't even move. If I tried to change it (taking the queries out of the loop. I know I know, I didn't make the original), it would give me a dump saying I was out of space.
So, my solution: delete some records as I go.
Can't wait to see the problems I'm about to have with this 🙃 -
Hm..favourite function.. Just before my apprenticeship as I used php more often, var_dump() was propably my favourite because it saved hours of my life :P2
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Any ideas as to what I can do with a 24 port network switch that I salvaged out of an electronics dump?
It's only 100 Mbit though4 -
git commit -m "The test core dumps, I go home" && git push
(OpenSSL is like running a marathon: It's just some month away and you already forgot how much fucking pain it was. Nah, can't have been that bad. Shit, it is.) -
Started programming with asp classic. Will never forget the first time I ever managed to dump a post request on screen. Oh, the childhood of it...
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you want to build a database dump with bamboo.
the job works, everything is green AF - but there are no build artifacts. you check the buildconfig 5 times and then you realize, there are blanks after the copy pattern of the frak'n build artifact.
dafuq is this..? -
Obviously worst documentation is no documentation at all when having to interface with something proprietary (source code is kind of documentation). When you have to dump exported symbols and guess what could it do and how to call it. Luckily too old (and hopefully wise) for it now, sticking to opensource.
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I know it's not made to be resilient in any way, only fast, as fast as possible, but man, the memcache_tool script just made my life a million times easier by facilitating a complete data transfer between two memcache instances, allowing for a rolling update without any session data loss!
...One day... I hope it can be migrated to redis... But for now... Thanks lord for the dump command and the wrapper script <3 -
I can't tell if I'm being clever or a dick here. When I can't be arsed writing a dB schema I switch hibernate to create mode, let it build the database, I then just dump the schema as SQL...2
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So... I've been thinking, I tend to default to LVM when trying to create easy-to-manage disk partitions, or when I want to backup a database without long lockings during a dump... Though, now... I got thinking.
What do you guys think, which is better in terms of functionality: BtrFS or LVM?
I know BtrFS offers such thing like full snapshots that allow to easily transfer just the increment over the snapshot origin off to a remote server for archival, but I never fully grew to trust btrfs as a server filesystem... Its...
Younger, and not as widespread, not to mention I don't know any performance statistics to recommend its use for this or that case (Like... Would a high-load database engine stutter flushing all those changes on disk while reading / writing temp tables and such)6 -
You dipshits! Yet again...
- use contract X from team WeJustFuckUp
- WeJustFuckUps tell me I "used the contract with the wrong semantics"
- What the fuck how is that possible!? Explain to the fuck ups that if it's the wrong semantics then it shouldn't be documented. Ask what right semantics is... They do not support their own correct semantics...
Fuck you! Just say you fucked up and come to me with a new contract!
Two weeks pass, new contract breaks half the functionality... And they ask me: "is it a problem? Can't you use it as is?"
Now listen here you pile of elephant dung, you have an unresponsive system with an unscalabe architecture... You have twisted contracts and you come to me to fix them!? I have more to do then to babysit your assess!
I am so tired of your bulshit... You are a bunch of prairie dogs hitting keyboards and call yourself developers!? My dog is a better developer, he at least does not break he's own software and when he takes a massive dump he owns it...
I am this close to making a request of changing your work computers to an abacus! It's all you can handle...
Fuck off! You are waste of resources and your parents should be spanked!!