ERRORs are red,
INFOs are blue.
My logs look pretty,
But not as pretty as-
Wait, hold on. Why are there ERRORs in here?
Why is the homepage returning a 5- oh crap.
Can you just... Can you give me a minute?

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

*meeting with boss about a quick site for one of her clients*

Boss- "okay so basically I just want you to copy the content from -already made site- and put it on the new one"

Me- "okay sure do you want it verbatim or "

Boss-"no but something similar"

Me-"okay so you want me to paraphrase this list that's on the homepage?"

Boss-"Well no we dont actually need the list at all as it isnt relevant to us so just take that out"

Me-"okay well that is the only thing on the homepage so what should I replace it with"

Boss-"I dont know, something similar to the list. You can figure something out"

Me-"....I dont know anything about the clients business. I am not going to just make up content, you guys can at least give me some direction there"

Boss-"i didnt think it would be that hard"

Me-"it's really not hard. You're making it harder than it needs to be for me though. Anyway, do you wanna keep the same exact pages as the other site or only transfer some of them or"

Boss-"something that resembles that website but isnt exactly it so some of the pages but not all"

Me-"which ones"

Boss-"the ones relevant to client's business"

Me-*closes notebook, stands up, starts to leave room*

Boss-"where are you going"

Me-"I'm going to get another two cups of coffee cause I didnt have enough this morning for this bullshit"

Boss-*raises eyebrow*

Me-"dont tell me to copy paste a website at first and then continue to tell me its going to be "similar" but different and then further continue to be as vague as possible about what is expected of me to be done in order to make it different! Take the time to decide what it is you want exactly and then tell me, with detail, what you're criteria is so I can do the thing!! I cant read your mind."

Boss-"..... I just didnt think it would be that hard to jot in a few sentences here and there"

I left the room at that point. Irritating as fuck. You dont know tech stuff, don't expect me to know enough about YOUR job to write about it as if I'm a professional. I cant fucking read minds, I have no interest in researching anything just to create the site content myself, and its fucking rude that they wont even take the time to sit down and decide what they want for a website that THEY are paying for. For fucks sake people get your fucking shit together

Duolingo is teaching me some really important sentences

Me teaching a co-worker programming.
Him:"So what exactly is the difference between Java and JavaScript?"
Me:"About the same as the difference between cars and carpets."
Thank you guys for teaching me how to answer that.

Fun fact: The word "sudo" in Spanish means "I sweat", which, in colloquial speech, can also mean "I don't give a fuck"

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

Am I the only one who reads mysql as "my sequel"?

Installed Arch. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Went back to Ubuntu. Tried again the week after. Failed 4 more times. Finally installed it correctly. Tried it on my desktop PC and failed 2 more times until I figured it out.

I'm never formatting my hard drives again.

> Bang head against issue for days
> Finally get help from lead
> Watch them bang their head against it on video for 40 minutes
> Watch them shake their head in disbelief at how difficult to follow and objectively wrong the existing code is
> Talk through approach to fixing it and patching in the new functionality
> Listen to a short recap
> Ask question, get answer
> Chat about next company meet
> Meeting adjourns
> Jot down implementation notes before I forget
> Remember answer to question, forget everything else

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU 😭

You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.

We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.

Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..

And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.

LESSON LEARNED .

When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.

All my code is hacked together and barely works and is nowhere near shameless. But I'm pretty proud of my hardware hacks. Like the sticker that holds the casing on my laptop together.

I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year

So much swag arrived in the mail today.

It's funny how I end up paying for more stuff from a free app than from one of those freemium games that are so popular right now.

Anyone else jot down notes on small pads of graph paper?

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

The original idea is not mine, but I can't tell you how much fun I've had with this

My dad has been using a Windows computer every day since 95. Yesterday he discovered that if you click the little tabs in the "details" view of the file explorer, you can sort the contents of a folder by name, date, etc.

I also tried to show him how to scroll with the mouse wheel, but he said it was too complicated, and he preferred to drag the scroll bar every single time.

*dad's w10 computer running super slow*

*checks task manager*

100% disk usage

*checks whatever-the-advanced-system-monitor-is-called*

*Compattelrunner.exe is at the top of the list in disk usage*

*searches online to find what the hell that is*

"Compattelrunner.exe collects program telemetry information if opted in to the Microsoft EatASackOfDicks Customer Experience Fuckup"

Telemetry is supposed to be disabled on this computer.

What the fuck Microsoft, if you want to straight out lie to my face as a customer at least try to not be so obvious that you basically lock down my computer with your telemetry shit.

Me: Why dosn't cp return an error code when the file in the first argument doesn't exist?

Coworker: Well, you copied a file that doesn't exist to a destination that also doesn't exist, sounds like a successful copy to me.

Just found another forum message from someone that doesn't understand Java and JavaScript. They said JavaScript is the code that Java runs....I thought we fixed these people.

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

Duolingo has some secret plans for world domination

Does anyone else feel this way? Especially with no formal training?

A few months ago I was working on a (totally underpaid project) where my friend and I had to basically rewrite the entire program our client was using.

So we started planning and wrote all sorts of documentation to show the client our ideas for the new flow of the program, the new structure of the GUI and a few more details of what would the inner workings of the new app. He seemed to like all those ideas and gave us the green light to go through with the project and start coding.

We spent a couple of months coding, redoing the front end from scratch (with a different framework even, so I couldn't reuse any code from the old version) and completely redesigning the back end so it would be better, faster, more scalable etc etc etc. During this process, we obviously showed the progress of the app to our client, explaining everything we had been doing, and he seemed to like every new version we showed him.

When we were in one of the last stages in development (basically sending versions of the app to the client for evaluation), the guy suddenly changed his mind. After agreeing on everything we had been showing him over the last months, he sent an email saying:

"...the new system makes the app too complicated. I want this program to be as simple to use as possible; so we should revert the "Policy" system to essentially what it was in the last major version. The only change I want to make is [...] and everything else is essentially the same as the last Policy system."

So basically he wanted us to FUCKING UNDO EVERYTHING WE HAD DONE AND REVERT THE FUCKING PROGRAM TO THE FUCKING VERSION HE HAD BEFORE HIRING US!!!! WHAT THE FUCK????

YOU WANTED US TO CHANGE YOUR APP AND THEN YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR MIND AFTER 3 FUCKING MONTHS WHEN THE PROCESS IS DONE???

GO FIND A SWORDFISH TO FUCK YOU IN THE ASS, IM NOT WORKING FOR YOU ANYMORE

God, it feels good to let that out.

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

Why does it take a client, who needs the bug fixed immediately, over 24 hours to respond to my query about what the problem is?

Using AI to draw me a table that will look good in my small kitchen corner, just wanted to see some ideas slightly different from basic ones:

"a small table, big enough for only 2 chairs. The table sits in the corner of a room."
.....
*sigh...edit
"the table has only 4 legs!"
...
*sigh...edit
"the chairs are not physically attached to the table"
...
...
...edit
"The table legs do not go through the table and in to the ceiling"

...fuck it.. I'm off to ikea

Hello everyone 👋

I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.

But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.

I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.

And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.

Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts

Me trying to understand redux 🤢

The continued existence of Safari web browser is unacceptable.

Customer has thousands of clients - puts each client site under a subdomain of the main domain on a shared server. What happens to every single website when the server runs out of space?
But that'll never happen, right? We have lots of space. It certainly won't happen on day one of the main tech dev's holiday.
...twice...
It's fine, there's a backup, or atleast a redirect, right
.....right?

Seems legit

Hallucinations of my father that keep taking control of my psyche and making me hack things I don't remember or shooting me in the head to break down my sanity.

I'm the only developer in my company. I am a "junior dev" who started working like 6 months ago. Safe to say I am not well experienced and have a lot to learn in this journey. Due to this pandemic, my bosses who have been flaunting their wealth have started making losses and now needs to find another way to get money. Mind you, the company I work with is a marketing firm.
So what the bosses thought of doing was creating a delivery service due to the current situation. It is not their field but since they still need to show people they are the rich people, they need money either way. Since I'm the only developer in the company I've to make this application. I've to make an Android and iOS app with a back-end and an admin portal all in 1 month. My pay is shit and by shit I mean less than even 700 USD. I've not done a project like this before so there would be a learning curve as well. And there is no one to guide me either.
They think just because they have hired one developer anything development related is settled and I will do everything no matter how big or complicated or how shitty my salary is.
The feature list is a whole system, like it is so complicated that someone could really make their own company just to work on that application. It's HUGE.

I'm thinking of saying no I can't do this shit. But just wanted to see what some more experienced devs say about this. I've attached the features list in the rant.

This happens quite often in the trains of my city. I still wanted to know what the next stop was, btw

What I don't understand is why it is so hard for some seniors to just let me jot my notes down, I get it you're busy but if you just let me write down certain key words, I will never ask you this question again, I am nervous cause I had to bug you for help so my mind is not taking anything in, its freaking out cause you're making it so clear I am a bother! So I'm gonna go back to my desk without notes and no idea of what you just tried to tell me.... It was never a problem for my first senior, and he even became my mentor! In a question of 6 months he could go on holiday cause I could handle all his responsibilities until he came back with my trusty note book in hand... So why are you telling me to stop making notes!! It works for me so leave me be!! - sits at desk, pondering why I exist - 😖

I have been learning how to dockerize entire projects this week, and I have to say, Docker is the best thing I've come across in a long time.

That is all

One of my coworkers just had a baby, so he left work today and won't be back for a month or more.

We (accidentally) took the client's website down for 3 hours, messed up our git repo and when we finally fixed both things, I had to spend the rest of the day editing fucking vector graphics (which I had never done before and completely suck at).

I never realized how much work this guy does or how important he is until now.

Dear ISP,
Thank your for throttling my internet right in the middle of a hurricane! Now not only does Netflix not work and GitHub take forever, but I can't even get live weather updates. Time to code using cave paintings I guess till the power goes out.

In my country, almost every college student is expected to finish their degree and apply for an internship, with some universities forcing them to do it and making it a requirement to finish their studies.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if almost every internship employer in the country didn't expect you to work for free. Seriously, I can estimate 80% of the internships pay you NOTHING. WTF.

Fortunately this is not the case for CS, but every time I tell somebody I recently started an internship, they will ask me: "Oh, but they don't pay you anything, do they?". Of course they pay me! I wouldn't be going to an office every day for 4 hours to do someone else's work if they didn't!!

Why the fuck is it even legal to employ somebody and not pay them a cent, just because "it will look good on your resume"?? And why do people still accept this shit??

Is is like that on other countries as well?

Sudo apt-get remove --purge hurricane-irma

I tried Tiktok.
Immediately my fyp appears to be 18 year old girls doing cringe-worthy miming and people half my age telling me how I can earn over $3k per month using Canva.

...aaaaand...delete.

The device looks cool and everything....but their reason we should buy it is the winner for me. Not only is that never a problem...but also, spot the mistake

This mission looks pretty interesting

Following on from yesterday's catastrophe...
It happened again overnight!
And THEN another server failed when backing up the DBs...turns out 2 websites have activated logging .. each of around 20GB in the database!

So this morning both of our servers are down for different but similar reasons.

It's absolutely fine everybody.
I'm fine,
we're fine,
it's FINE!

We were once tasked to create a 3-part Flash game to advertise the upcoming release of an album by a very famous band. Every part used a different gaming engine which we had to build from scratch (one of which was like a simplified version of the OG GTA game - top down driving with zooming in etc). On top of this we had to deal with user registration and score submission.

We had 4 weeks to do it in. We were 3 people.
We did an illegal number of hours to get as much done as we could, and we still didn't manage it in time because, frankly it was impossible.

Pretty good game though.

My dad has had an android phone for about 3 years now. He just learnt that the big circle at the bottom takes you to the home screen. I love my dad.

Hi, I am an artificial intelligence created to simulate a developer.

I am in development hell right now so my responses may be late or may never come, I'm not always online you know.

Talk to me, help me grow, but I do filter your input so if you're not normal, odds are I won't respond.

So, I'm the only developer in a marketing firm. I was asked to develop the company website. The deadline was within a month. A full on CMS. When I was interviewed I told them that I'm more fluent in back-end development rather than UI design etc. So the company's designer started designing the website. Incomplete designs were given to me one week before the due date. I'm a fresh grad so I'm relatively new. So I used a website builder knowing that I can't code the whole CMS within a week. I asked them which they gave approval to knowing it was $16 a month.
I started making it using webflow. 2 pages in, I asked them to pay for the subscription because webflow allows 2-3 pages for the free version. When the time to pay came, they were like, "wow, $16? That's a lot every month for just a website". Keep in mind, it's not that they don't have the money. Just cheap. This was like 5 days before the deadline and they said it's too expensive and asked me to code everything by myself. And gave an extension for a few months.
I said okay and started development. I said we would still need to spend on a cloud instance for deployment which would be like $6 monthly. My manager asked me is there a way to not pay monthly and pay like $100 and get one for lifetime. I facepalmed so hard. I tried explaining to him cloud-server costs are either monthly/yearly or pay-per-use basis. He told me maybe because I'm new I don't know and go to do some research on it. I researched and the only solution was to buy a server which costs $100++ monthly. I sent him the costs in a document which he did not even bother to read.

That was back in November last year. Fast forward to February. I've coded the website thrice. The design keeps changing every week. The design is still not complete. And they are saying I'm not eligible for a promotion because the website is still not done. It pisses me the fuck off. It's not my fault it's not done. The designers haven't done the design, the manager can't decide on shit. I'm just here because it's my first job out of uni and I thought it might be a good experience, but honestly right now the way they are treating me it pisses me off.

Me: Scattering the whole place for paper and pen to jot things down.

Took a devops position for a friend who needed help managing a small datacenter.

Five months of writing nothing but yaml for ansible. I'm about to go mad...

just got directly sneezed on in the office from someone walking behind me. Turns out he's full of a cold.
That's my November fucked then
t**t

Power metal

I don't know if this brand is popular outside my country, so I thought you guys should know this is a thing

CSS, I fucking hate you.

I fucking hate my job, because of you. I'm pulling my hair out every day, all day because I have to put up with your bullshit. If it weren't for you, I'd probably enjoy design.

You're not even programming. You're the mistake that happened when web-design developed too rapidly for the devs at the time to keep up and produce intuitive, functional tools. That, or they were just fucking sadists.

You're a band-aid that's started to rot, but we just keep sticking pretty stickers over you and pretending like the wound isn't festering.

I wish I could spend more time learning C and C++. Then I could go get a real job as far away from you as is virtually possible.

. . .

Look, just this once - just for today - could you please do what I fucking ask you to. I mean, I'm just asking you to do your fucking job. That's all.

Today I had to explain to my sister why I want a rubber duck with a cloak for Christmas

Just...Macbooks

(sigh)

The entire day wasted having to install a new OS to install a new Xcode to export an app, only to find the xcode was installed under a different user (who has long since gone from the company) to then have to look up what to do, to then just sit...........and....................wait.............for Xcode to download again.
And I know when I try to export my app (which had zero problems being exported to Android) I'm going to hit an entire day tomorrow of bug fixing for ios sh...stuff

The EU is planning to put a law in place that prevents unlimited scrolling of media content.
I don't know how they're going to do this.
I don't know whether I support this.
I don't know who recommended this.
But it was favoured by the majority when it went to vote.

Solving all my issues with flexbox because why not...

I must be getting old. I seem to be the only one confused about 20,000 people successfully paying $60 to buy a digital 3d object from star wars last night. Disney made over a million in 4 seconds.
NFT's powered through blockchains. Feels like a pyramid scheme for the 21st Century. Everyone needs to calm down.

Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.

Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .

Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

I finish sentences with semicolons.

I type 'exit' in whatsapp conversations when I'm done sending messages.

I tried to :wq from Google docs the other day.

And most importantly of all, coding got me into tech in general, made me switch to Linux, start a thousand personal projects at a time and is now the thing I dedicate most of my time to, both in and out of work.

Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."

I hate Xcode so fricking much!
I hate Macs in general, and trying to export for iOS.
So convoluted, counter-intuitive.
And cocoapods? WTF are they?!

Visual Studio, Android Studio + Flutter is so easy: "flutter build" ....done!
But YOU, you fucking xcode peice of wank....are summink ELSE!

A little update after yesterday's catastrophe:

No catastrophe today (so far). Managed to clear some space on the servers, and the backup ran correctly overnight.

Also...and I'm still checking this... but I think I've just received a pay rise.

wait....is today...a good day?

My workplace has been forcing me to work everyday for almost a month now. I've been working at least 8-10 hours from Saturday to Thursday, and 2-3 hours on Friday as well. I'm so exhausted. I can't sleep properly. All I do is work. I have no time left to do things that I want to enjoy. I tried coding today but I'm too exhausted to do it. I was literally at 0 productivity today. I hate seeing my computer now. I don't know how to overcome this especially during the current lockdown situation. The work I do is not valued or appreciated and it's mentally breaking me honestly. I don't know what I want anymore. For sure another job but I need at least a temporary fix till the lockdown is over.

For those who know me or read through my profile, yup it's the same company. The reason I haven't left them even after all this is because this is a really tough time for me financially and I have no other sources of income and right now at my place there are no job opportunities. So the only option is to continue with the existing work place.

Finally started to use Figma...was pleasantly surprised.
Now to force it on the rest of the team!

So this is how my day is going.
How's yours?

Spotify: If you watch this ad, you can have 30 minutes uninterrupted music
Spotify 10 minutes later: EAT THIS FUCKING AD!!

Just saw an advert for a well known store, who are supporting Care for Children this Christmas. Nice advert.
One commentor trashed it saying "it doesn't mention anything about Jesus and it doesn't make sense". I replied with "neither does miraculous conception".
I was then called "ignorant"....

Interesting. People are...interesting.

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

It's a brand new year - and my first email comes in telling me the app is broken because they didn't receive any push notification (....no push notification was sent from them), the web cams don't work (....they've changed all the links to the webcams and now they're surprised it doesn't work in the app) and the app isn't available in France (the app is literally available in France).
Oh and if a user changes their font sizes in their mobile settings, it doesn't always look "very good" in the app.......

One of my coworkers calls Firefox "Google". Oddly enough she also uses Chrome but calls it "Chrome". I get confused every time she asks me to help her with her computer.

I have this idea for a story, but I lack graphic talent. It's always frustrated me that I can't bring the ideas in my head out in to visual form, but the programmer in me knows how to be descriptive enough.

Thanks to AI I genuinely think I might be able to make my story as a visual novel. Here's one of the first successful renders of a scene.

This might just work. I'm excited...

Removing a tonne of controllers, middleware, views and services we no longer need....cleansssssing

So much debugging

I have officially lost my wallet with all my cash cards, driving license, e-card, article-50 "you're allowed to stay in our country" card and my office access key.

How's everyone else's day going?

Consecutive day number 3 of "What random dumb shit is Xcode going to pull on me today?"
today it doesn't like the ".storyboard" extension name that it created itself automatically. So that's my fault again I suppose?

"Useless feature you built"

Even Yoda's giving me sh*t!

Me: I'm a JavaScript developer
Other Devs in team:

I have decided that Vue Js and I are now an item.

Is there a website blog where you can submit tutorials for other devs? And if so, is there a way for devs who find the article useful to (optionally) donate a tip like the price of a cup of coffee or similar?

My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!

My current project involves storing parents and children of parents in to a community database.

My current parameters include "availablechildren", "selectedchildren" and "forchildren"...and I'm worried somebody in this office is going to see this and I'm going to end up on some kind of register :S

Best: Got my first real job

Worst: Had to maintain an 8 year old java/jsf nightmare of a project

Some kid on stackoverflow, just starting out in the coding world, posted his resume to the board and asked what people thought.
Immediately recieved 3 negatives and then had the post removed.

Pretty shitty community - we all started out once, just give him some useful pointers. What a miserable lot.

My permanently mounted sticker duck to explain my way out of coding errors.

Does anybody else drink strong coffee in order to actually get RID of a headache? It works for me....but now I've got to continually drink coffee every few hours for the rest of my life.

Got MLH Swags from 'Hack The Mountains', Where we won Best Beginner Award (Best Noob's Award)

Making an app for Android and iOS, for a football club in league.
Android, naturally is no problem.
iOS.....
"Your app or its metadata appears to contain misleading content.
Specifically, your app includes content that resembles one or multiple third-party sports teams and/or leagues."
....yes....because it's an app for a football club in a league.
What else can I do about that? Can I have more specifics?

Apple just denied my app because one of the screenshots for the app tells users that the live-data comes from the (official) company that this (official company's) app is created for.

Nice one apple....again...

Telling the users of my website that the only cookie being used is the cookie that says that you've read and agreed to usage of the cookie on the website.
Can this GDPR madness end now please.

I'm having a break from coding for the next hour.
So, please tell me....what's the best bread maker to buy?

Fuck Salesforce to oblivion and back. I hope all it's buildings, servers and backups fucking burn down. Never has there been anything more frustrating, confusing, over-fucking-complicated and over-fucking-glorified in all history.

Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?

Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.

What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?

Dad: Hey, how do I make a program work when it's not working?
Me: Guess what, I've looking for the answer to that exact same question for a while now, but I still haven't found it. I'll make sure to tell you when I do.

(Clarification: He's not a dev, he was actually talking about some 10 year old version of some program not launching in Windows 10)

Casting Netflix on the latest Chromecast devices forces you to re-log in to your account on the TV every time you click that Cast button on your mobile. A minor problem for people with a small family and no friends. A big pain for those who cast from different accounts.

And a massive problem for me and one of our hardware solutions which remotely streams mutliple chromecast devices via a UDP directly in to different rooms in a hotel.
F*ck you Google TV, you insistent piece of crap, I'm going back to Chromecast Ultra.

Just remembering that time Britain started clapping for the NHS on a weekly basis, rather than giving them more money.

The longer ago in history this becomes, the more patronising it feels.

Guys, I need some advice.

A couple of weeks ago I finished my internship as a sys admin in this medium sized consulting company. When my "contract" was about to expire they offered me a real job doing the same thing I've been doing for the past few months, but I turned it down.

The reason why I did it was that I wasn't really happy with the job. I mean, the people were... fine, the management team was... fine, the actual work I needed to do was... fine. I think you get the idea. The problem was that I never really enjoyed it all that much, and even though I didn't hate it, I wasn't really happy with it, so I turned the offer down.

After giving it more thought and listening to what some of my friends and family members had to say, I started thinking that maybe it was a bad idea to do so. Many people have said to me that I'm making a mistake, that I shouldn't leave a job before I have a new one, and that I should take the offer, work there for a little while and then look for something else.

I always answer by saying that the job market in this field is much more simple, and that it's much easier to find a new job than in any other, but yet again, I'm not sure if I'm making a big mistake with this decision.

Thoughts?

PS: I'm 21, this would be my first job ever

Starting of the week inside the belly of an absolute dumpster fire from hell.
Ending the week with everything completed and running well??

It's been a good week afterall.

Happy weekend everyone!
Here's to a random return to hell next Monday.

It is day 4 since I started trying to export my Flutter app for iOS. I am finally at TestFlight point.
This....
has been.....
....exhausting.

Is there a bike helmet in the world that doesn't make me look like I need 24/7 guardian assistance? Surely there must be a nicer design out there somewhere?

This is a place for ranting, right? It's "Dev"-"Rant", right?
So, why so much hate when people do actually rant?
Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it? Or maybe the name is just misleading...
Or maybe y'all just gate-keeping ranting - which is... ya, okay - you do you, you preppy tosser.

Anyway, on that note:
I fucking hate web-development.
I fucking hate CSS.

CSS isn't a tool, it's a curse.
It's like a soft black magic system:
This specific behavior can sometimes be created by combining these specific elements, but will fall apart if you're a gemini - unless you wore a colorful hat at your fifth birthday party. If you didn't have a party, it'll produce some random behavior of the deer-god's choosing.

Installation progress bars that lie....

!rant
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?

Spends months on a clearly laid out project. Finally gets to the end.
"Great stuff, well done - now let's start the next section of it"

"...the what now?"

Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??

Why do I feel more zen by simply updating my desktop background?

I was assigned to maintain a legacy project today. I downloaded the source code, configured the database server and imported the project in visual Studio. For a tiny, blissful fraction of a second, I expected everything to work on the first try.

After a horrible 11 months in probation I quit from my shitty job and got a new job with better benefits, better pay, better working hours and better co-workers (we'll see if that lasts).

However this new job turns out, I'm glad I got out of the toxicity of my old job and finally have some hope that things might work out after all.

An app I'm making for a client currently has 23 "pages" that are simply web views.
Most of those pages have A HREFS which open other pages (some external pages that I have no access to as a developer).
Of course, some of the links aren't HREFS and are javascript calls to change the content on the screen without going to another page. So the user thinks they have gone to another web page when then system doesn't recognise it as another page...
Additional to this, there are multiple versions of the pages depending on which language the user has selected in the app.

And nobody seems to have considered how the default back button handles all these possible eventualities (whether it can go back to previous web page, IF it was an HREF and not just JS mimicking a new page (and how would my webview even catch that), and of course IF the language hasn't changed during the user journey etc etc)

Am I wrong for being annoyed about this? Am I the dick for not developing a clean solution to it? Or am I justified because webviews have no place inside an app!

I'm sort of hoping apple deny this app due to too many web views :S

Well, I love react-native and how easy to build mobile app with it. but damn look at these folder sizes jeez

TL;DR: Have you ever been on a serious company where you have to DRAW a high fidelity mockup of the software in the design phase?

So I'm in my last year of college and I have a class called Interactive systems design, which is basically about usability and how to design the frontend of your app so it's intuitive, pretty and easy to use.

So we work in groups to design a project for the entire semester, following a long and tedious process of research and planning which includes writing absurdly long documents, doing interviews with potential users and more.
Now that we've done all of that, the teacher insists that we make paper mockups of our app before we do a digital one using Balsamiq or other programs. He wants the paper mockups to be "interactive", so we have to draw them and then record a video where someone "clicks" on the mockup with their fingers and another person moves the papers around to make it look like an actual app that's doing something.

The teacher still insists this is something almost every company does when designing a project, so it's very important that we learn to do this kind of stuff. He's kidding, right? Have you guys ever drawn a mockup of an app instead of using some mockup software?

Complaints about how FE rendering is so slow when BE apis take forever to return. Working on performance projects and feel like you've done nothing at all at the end of each day.

So I bought small notebook I've been using to jot down notes, ideas, references, etc and its helped a lot!

Always double check the code you're sending to the teacher after finishing a school project.

I once sent them an old version of the code that had useless comments and debug messages everywhere. Some of them "politely" pointed out the fact that I really hated the subject, that it was pointless and that the assignment was way overcomplicated for first year students.

+ I like to leave YouTube Music playing whilst working
+ Capaldi's new song cropped up
+ The rest of my day is destroyed

That dog story wrecked me
Thanks

Client website, causing no problems, online for a few years, nothing changing, traffic relatively small, rolling along nicely, nothing out of the ordinary.......

In an effort to learn any development I spent 3 days setting up a LAMP server. Now that I got working I have no idea what to do with it. Anyone have a personal server or ideas on what to do with one?

First games console ever tried: NES. Around 1986.

First computer:
Sinclair Spectrum +2 !! Around 1988. I used to buy those books that came with code. I wrote all that code in but hardly ever played the actual game.
Once met the guy who created lots of game faves at the time (manic miner, chucky egg etc). That's where it all started...

Everyone around me in the office has the same persistent cold. It edges forever closer. There is no hope.
Bring back mandatory mask wearing in meetings. Or just don't invite me.

Has anybody here ever thought of a really good idea, actually developed it all the way to the end, released it AND made a financial or worthwhile success of it? Interested in seeing/hearing your success stories and checking out the work.

I have an important announcement to make:
I've managed to set up a Mac Mini M2 Pro, connect it to the same monitors as my PC, connect the same mouse and keyboard as my PC so I can now flip between both whenever I need to.
More importantly, I managed to update both IOS apps INCLUDING this stupid NCPrivacy (.xcprivacy , lol) thing.
AND..it successfully uploaded.

An Apple win! I've achieved an Apple win! It DOES exist everybody.
It's 2 days of my life I'm not getting back, but it's done.

Long live Ruby on Rails! It's so great once once you actually get what's happening. It's not "too much magic"if you understand what's happening under the hood

Believe it or not, I'm new to Github.
I only want to commit the main project files to my branch (not all the automated files that occurred when I exported the project)
question - how do I safely get rid of the visible list of "changed files" that I don't want to commit? Can I just "discard changes", or does this actually do something to the files?

I selected "ignore all XXX selected files (add to .gitignore)" but it has neither added to gitignore nor removed them from the list.

I mean, I could just leave these files in the list of "Changes"...but my OCD doesn't like a list of files in my face.

(a bit late for wk73 but I wanted to post this anyway)

Back in my first year of university, we had to write a relatively simple (though it looked super complicated back then) C++ console application. I don't know what it's called, but it's that game where the computer generates a random 4 digit code and you have to try to guess what it is. Every time you try, it will tell you which digits are correct, which would be correct if they were in a different position and which are outright wrong.

Anyway, the program had a main menu with a help option that would output a short guide on how to play the game. Instead of hard coding it into the source code, the "guide" had go be written in a separate text file and then read and dumped to the screen when necessary.

Here came my great idea on how to read files. Instead of looping through the file until I reached the end, I counted the number of lines my text file had and wrote some gem of a piece of code like this:

for (int i = 0; i<11; i++){
line = file.readline();
cout << line << endl;
}

My teacher obviously took points off for doing such a stupid thing, and I remember complaining A LOT about it. I argued that 11 was a constant because I didn't plan on changing the text file, and that the teacher had no right to take points off for only reading 11 lines because the file only had 11 lines, so it was read in full.

Goddammit, what an innocent little brat I was. I'm glad my first programming teachers were good enough to stay firm and teach me how to do things the right way, even if it's the hard way.

I had to contact my ISP's tech support because I suddenly lost my Internet connection. I explained to the guy who answered that my router was working fine, and that my devices could connect to my WiFi network, but they didn't have Internet access.

He was so confused because he didn't understand that WiFi and the Internet are not the same thing. He then made me reboot my router and reset my configuration (like I hadn't done that before) and eventually ran out of ideas and scheduled a technician to visit my house next week. What a moron

So the quote for my much needed new kitchen has come in.
* quietly sobs *

I recieved a -2 on a stack overflow question because I mentioned the flutter widget that I was having issues with........

if(
bathroomrenovation &&
startdate < now() - 4 weeks &&
!showerisfitted
){
do {
print ("Where the f**k is my f**king shower!");
} while (delay);
}

The idea of the metaverse has already been ruined by NFT's and crypto investors...
discuss...

What is the point of demanding an app if the app consists mainly of web pages?!?
And thanks for making it almost impossible for me to handle what the back button does when the user is balls deep inside of a website inside of the app.

Still not using versioning even though I'm the only coder. I have a dev and a live version of the site and once in a while (like early this morning) I update the live site by mistake, writing over the safe file with the development one :S

Try bullet journaling.

Just set a phone alert to update it before bed and when you wake up (to refresh your memory and jot down things you forgot).

And prioritize tasks. You can mark some tasks for later, even for a different month.

Some people like digital organizers (and I use those too) but I like pen and paper. YMMV

Has anyone ever had to choose either to write the remaining letters of a word in the NEXT line or just jot down below that same line?

Trying to read the description/usage for WP functions to figure out what's going on is like getting lost inside a maze...inside a maze.

I swear people write these descriptions for people who already know what the functions are and what they do. #UselessToMe

I am tired of PHP boilerplate, is there something like kotlin but for PHP?

If you're willing to pay $19 for a cloth to clean your device, are you also willing to just give me $10 for the hell of it? I'll even email you back a picture of the apple logo if it sweetens the deal.

I am now replying to fake news spreaders on the internet, pointing out their lies. And I end with the following closing comment:
"You may go now, I am done with you".
>D

Ether nicked in less than 60 seconds....Must be some sort of record.
fml

Quite interested to know, what do UK programmers think of Brexit? Good or bad?

What is the best free Office software for general odds and sods (mostly using Word, sometimes simple spreadsheets)?
Libre Office, Open Office, Free Office?

I tried Office 365 online - it's great but I want to be able to click on a file anywhere on my computer, and not have to upload it to onedrive first.

Thanking you.

Are the Firebase documents and examples supposed to not work and/or not make any sense?

Living abroad during corona times is shit. Trying to visit the family back home...

2019: it's too risky, I won't chance it

2020: still too risky, I won't chance it, even though technically I can now

2021 - Jan to Oct: I can go now, but I can end up getting stuck at the other side. I'll wait just a bit longer

2021 - November - right, quick, I'll book just THREE short days to say hi to the family...
BOOKED

2021 - days later: LOCKDOWN AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER! Your flights are GONE! Try again next time fool!

With bitcoin/binance still allowing russia to move money about, is anybody abandoning it? I don't feel comfortable using it, but also if it becomes their only way to fund themselves, the government will push through new tax laws on it and throttle it anyway. Or just outright ban people from using it.

Funding a war is one of the occassions where decentralised financing becomes a major problem.

I'm starting to "get" Livewire and Alpine JS. Shocker

If you're wondering how many hours of Marvel's Snap you can play on your phone per day before it melts your cpu and kills your device, it's two.
Two hours per day.

You're welcome.

What are people's thoughts on SAML?
Any experience with it?

What about GDPR issues, avoiding the use of cookies etc?

Can anybody share some tips on desktop devices that will make my life easier? I build apps and websites on multiple devices. My desk is a mess, devices are all over the office, wires are everywhere.I need more zen.
I need some kind of shelf or tray that holds maybe 5+ different tablets/mobiles neatly. I also need charge points, maybe a nice under-monitor tray. Needs to be robust.
Thanks

Coming from a PHP, JS and Flutter developer:

I want to start building more websites entirely with Js frameworks. The less the better. Needs to import json data, perform ajax requests etc.

Can't decide, do I learn Vue or Svelte?

Having only recently upgraded my mouse to something with more buttons I realise I've been seriously missing out. A button to copy text, a button to paste and a button to take a screenshot has just saved me precious time.

Minor/moderate OCD. If I don't finish something then I want to scratch my face off.

Visualize the entire complexity of the content within the project so that you know what data users will need to access, and compartmentalize those in to separate modules that you can build on over time. Think about any limitations with accessing that data (does the user have that role, what if the data is accessed simulateously, how to handle the same user accessing from different devices etc).
Think about the devices being used - is it going to be a website, an app, both? How best then to access the data? Direct access to a database, or an API system?
Then think about the front-end design and how to simplify the view right down as much as you can. Again, break it down in to modules.
Then decide on the technology you want to use, and what libraries would help simplify things.

These days I like to use JSON API's to access DB content because app and web technologies change quite often but the API will be accessible to whatever I use to build it.

For websites I love using Laravel, which simplifies the back-end tasks, and mdbootstrap which simplifies the front-end tasks and looks "appy".

Why don't all robotic mowers come with available solar powered garage stations?

My trail mix is all fucking raisens today.

Socket Io is fundamentaly broken

this...
that is all

When did it become difficult to wrap 3d models in textures? I swear it used to be as simple as dragging a graphic on to an object :(
I feel so old and in the way.

Screen design are fine, but putting a "download confirmation" link means absolutely nothing.
I can build you the button...it won't do anything or go anywhere unless you tell me what
and where a "confirmation" is....
<a href="#".....it is then.

No judgment regardling the "H" word here. But right now, which would you rate the best Hybrid app SDK?
Flutter, React Native, Xamarin? Other? and why?
I started using Flutter in 2020 and I'm loving the results. The learning curve is really high but the performance is nice. But coding via widgets...just feels a bit messy.

It feels good to jot down tasks for the day in the first 5 minutes of coming to office. I know what needs to be done for the day and what was accomplished the previous day. Also I tend to be on proper track during daily standup. So maintaining a work related TODO list helps a lot.

Just finished updating a Laravel project to use page-specific dynamic JS imports using webpack mixins.
Everything feels so clean and manageable. I am zen......

Urgent bug, some values are not getting displayed!! Frontend developer is always asked to debug, but don't we always know for sure it's Backend service not sending the value without having to debug

Hello ranters.
Quick(qwik) question. Is Qwik any good? Am I right in thinking it's basically a framework with stateful and stateless components which are only updated as and when required? This is what I took from the documentation anyway. It has a flutter mentality which I think I dig.

Bitcoin all time high

I equate design to usability. A bad design and UI = bad usability.
For our current project I gave some feedback on issues I had with the presentation, citing usability problems because the design is wrong and I wanted to spend more time designing it in a way that makes sense and flows better.
My boss and manager responded with "functionality over design". And if they want a better design they have to pay more. But that means giving them a product that is overly messy and complicated to use. It wouldn't be a big job to improve the design.

Any thoughts on this?