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-
Choosing a pc to buy.
- kids: "can it run minecraft?"
- casual gamers: "can it run overwatch?"
- serious gamers: "can it run witcher 3?"
- business people: "can it run several excel sheets?"
- me: "can it run linux?"48 -
There is. My latest creation. A 8bit microcontroler made in minecraft.
Features:
(1.0 version without control room)
-8bit full adder + overflow flag
-8x8bit RAM
-16x8(4bit instruction, 4bit address)
program memory
-64 possible microinstructions (16 instructions with 4 step each)
-uncondintional and if oveflow jumps
(place determined using address written with instruction)
-1/3Hz clock speed 😨
New working version (2.0) has 1Hz clock and new faster instruction decoder.
In 3.0 in addition to that useless bus was replaced with 16x8bit "hardware" stack that can store adresses and data. The clock is going to be yeeted out because it is unnecesary #clocklessisbetter (WIP tho)
Might add more documentation and post it as learning model for CS wanabees 🤔. What do you think?
Picture: Old working version 1.0
(the only one with fancy diagram)
Newer version screenshots in comments.
36 -
Me: *Playing around with bash on Windows*
Friend: Can you hack my Facebook account?
Me: I already did...
*moments of awkward silence*4 -
You realize how beautiful it is to work in the back-end when...
"Can you move it down 1px?"
"Can you try this color?"
"Can you make it pop more?"
"Can you make the animation 0.01ms faster?"
Millions more...10 -
interviewer: What can you tell us about the Unity 3D engine?
me: well, i can tell you that there is no such thing. the engine is called Unity. Unity3d.com is just the website. it's a good way of telling if someone doesn't know what they are talking about.
interviewer:😐....9 -
I get depressed during times like this.
Me: *does a keyboard shortcut*
Friend: Woaw, are you good on computers?
Me: yea.
Friend: CAN YOU HACK?
Me: yea...
Friend: WHATS MY PASSWORD?
Me: I don't know your password.
Friend: You can't hack then.9 -
Lost the password to the main modem/router of our apartment (live in a normal flat of which the rooms are rented out to three students and me) which is in my room and tried to reset the fucker for a trillion times but couldn't get back in, the password didn't reset.
Took a closer look at the reset button and suddenly noticed some text under it saying "wireless connect". Then I noticed a tiny round "hole" above the reset text.
Fuck my sideways, I've been pressing the "wireless connect" button instead of the actual reset one every goddamn time 😐
I can now port forward again 😊6 -
A wise man once said.. Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.2
-
devRant is a place to rant. Not a journal of best practices.
Can I just rant without giving a long winded backstory?
Do I have to explain myself to prevent people from commenting that the problem must be me?
If you read a rant, and you can't relate to it sympathetically.
Move along! That rant is not for you!
When people are trying to vent no one wants to see your snippy little comment about how 'unprofessional' they are being.8 -
Product: Hey, this screwdriver feature I never requested isn’t there. Why? Can you fix it? It’s kinda urgent.
Product: @Root please jump on the ticket above … fairly urgent.
Root: It’s Friday, I’m out next week, and I’m working on finishing <urgent comma ticket> right now.
Boss: Work on the screwdriver instead. But make sure you finish the comma ticket too!
Boss: By the way, I volunteered you for eight security reviews next month!
Security: You’re on call for AWS audits next month, too!10 -
I have a lot of respect for anyone who can design a good looking website.
I can code like crazy. And I was a freelance classically trained illustrator for 10 years. But ask me to design a website and it's all spinning giffs, midi tracks, and Comic Sans. Some kind of early 90's geocities nightmare.7 -
"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.
Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
— Martin Fowler,
Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code6 -
Impostor vs Kenner syndrome
We got a new kid which does his internship from school. We talked and he asked me what stuff I had done with 14 - 16. I remembered with 14 I was really into reverse engineering, assembler and c/c++ but never managed to actually build something.
So he started to say stuff like he could replace me in an instant and he should get paid for this internship at least as much as I did, because he made some websites and games already.
I really was down. Kids today get a lot of shit done and I was a disappointing lazy little shit just playing games and try to reverse engineer stuff and learn assembler and c++.
It's been month and shit hit me when I've seen his stuff was copy pasted from a tutorial/ YouTube video.
Today's ressources, languages, frameworks make it really easy to build something but I still got respect for everyone every age who is interested and get into programming and stuff.
But I hope you'll read this you little shit and realise that you can use a simple physics engine by copy and pasting code. So don't talk disrespectful to people in general especially when they can create a whole game and physics engine.14 -
this.rant == "long";
This is something I feel strongly about, I hope you do too...
I fucking hate it when I hear that people don't care about net neutrality (and I've heard people say it). There is little in this world untouched by shitty corporations encroaching on the little good that is left in this world.
Yes the internet is full of edgy teenagers, incompetent Seniors (both old people and Devs) and god knows what else. But you know what? I pay my money to copy and paste code from SO (we ALL do let's not lie to ourselves) and I'm not paying a special fee to look at this content or that or send this type of text to that kind of person.
Now then to the point... On 14th December 2017 the FCC will vote on whether or not to allow companies like Verizon and - dare I say it - Comcast to charge more to access certain sites or block you access altogether and otherwise control what you say and do.
I for one, say FUCK OFF and I hope you do to. If you can, call or otherwise contact your Congressperson - you can do that here: https://house.gov/representatives/... . If you're not from the US, you can still help! https://www.battleforthenet.com has lots of information on what you can do to help.
I hope you'll all join me in shouting as loud as we can and preventing this moronic idea from going through.
Peace.
this.rant.end();
10 -
The startup i work in has such a dynamic environment that their monthly milestones get changed every hour!
#firstRant3 -
I write code,
I am a writer.
I fight with bugs,
I am a fighter.
I optimise code,
to make it tighter.4 -
I got a LinkedIn message from the HR from my previous company about a job opening as if I never existed and never met them before. I'm just a profile to them.
Stupidity level: HR11 -
Fingerprint sensor is insecure
-gf can open your phone when you are asleep
-same with chloroform, unconscious, then use fingers
-can cut your fingers if it leads to that.
Fine I agree....but how secure is the face ID ??
-all of the same points can be applied to it.27 -
Fuck yes for data hoarding! Wanted to start on a project again but thought I lost everything.
Code is sill in git, (took me a while to find but whatever) database is still on my own laptop (due to ex/importing my entire local host as for databases every time I do a new installation).
Let’s get this fucker going again 😎3 -
Yeah sure, you can have your site files and database. Host it yourself. Get your cousin to maintain it. Go ahead. Yeah, sure, you're gonna do ~really~ well. Bye bye, ya micro-managing fuck nugget :D3
-
Being majestic as a web developer:
1. Hacking through the DevTools to remove the anti-AdBlocker overlay + vertical scrolling paralysis on news website
2. See point 1
15 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
Chuck Norris can write Java without wearing glasses. He can C#.
Chuck Norris can compile C++ with just a word editor and K&R.
Chuck Norris can read the comment you almost put in on line 63 (it would have been very helpful.)
Chuck Norris can optimize programs in binary.
Chuck Norris does garbage collection with his mind.6 -
"Quality CSS" is much a fucking misnomer. As someone whose been writing this shit at scale for 15+ years I can tell you all CSS code is garbage. The only thing you should do is make sure you don't have name collisions. Classes/components are self contained. And use variables when possible. DRY makes sense usually, but if you're dogmatic about it you shoot yourself in the foot.9
-
When somebody says they know how to program and I ask them what languages they know and they say XML, CSS, HTML.16
-
Night before flying internationally includes the following checklist:
- check VPN works, can access frontend sites and hit the backend
- git push4 -
THIS is a rant. Somebody send this person a stress ball. “Fuck You Startup World” @shemag8 https://medium.com/@shemag8/...4
-
When the pm learns how F12 and use Google console to change HTML style, for example the color of the font.
He proclaims produly to everyone, I can code like you guys now.2 -
Systemd, I fucking love you. When a service crashes, let's just keep it turned off, don't restart it on your own, no need for that. That's what statefulness means, right Poettering? Such an amazing init, well worth the quarter GB of code or however much it is now. And yes I know that the unit files can be edited to achieve that. But seriously, should I really have to do that for each individual service on each individual box, because systemd can't do it on its own?
That feeling when an init system is (relatively) decent at doing everything else it absorbed into itself, yet fucking sucks at being.. a goddamn init. Good game Poettering. Such an amazing init system you wrote there. God fucking dammit man.. how hard can it be? There's OpenRC and BSD's /etc/rc.conf which are literally mere kilobytes of scripts and they do both statefulness and parallelization (in case of OpenRC anyway) *excellently*. Yet systemd can't even do that much? Awesome. Great init. I love it.
Come fucking on man...
20 -
!(short rant) && (long story)
So these last 2 months of my life have been quite topsy turvy. Everything was pretty much unexpected and now I am on my way to Banglore, which is referred to as the Silicon Valley of India.
All this started in mid Feb when one day my ceo dropped a mail to all of us saying he wants to covey something important. A little background story about my company before I go on. We were a bunch of 6-7 tech guys working on a location based analytics product and had a decent client base. I had joined them in November 2017 and I was very hopeful that I would get to learn a lot owing to the good seniors from reputed universities and their experience. Coming back to the day, the ceo called us and dropped a bomb on us that the funding is depleted and we only have enough money to pay you salaries for this month. "We didn't anticipate that this day will come but currently we are in talks with some companies that are looking to acquire us. I am very much hopeful that we will figure something out by the end of this month(Feb). Until then, I can't stop you from applying to other companies but don't reveal that we are in this situation." So, keeping my fingers crossed I was waiting for the acquisition and wasn't looking for any other opportunities.
The company work was under hold and during this time one of my friends approached me with his idea. Since I had nothing else to do, I agreed to work with him. I was living in Mumbai, the city with one of the highest living standards in India, and I was paying exorbitant rent without any income. There was no news until mid March when the ceo called and dropped bomb#2 that an Indonesian company is looking to acquire us and he had scheduled an interview for the entire team. This isn't what I had signed up for. Indonesia wasn't a country I had even considered, let alone leave the country. Still I appeared for the interview and it went very well.
No news from the company or the ceo after that. One of my friends advised me to start applying to other companies and not rely on this acquisition. Now the problem was I couldn't reveal about the acquisition in my interview, so I used to give some bullshit about me not liking the work here. The company didn't buy it because how can someone judge a company in just 4 months. So obviously I didn't clear the interviews, also partially because I didn't meet their technical requirements.
March end, I moved to my hometown in Gujarat because obviously I had started to get broke in this expensive-ass city. The friend with whom I was working with also didn't have any issue since it was just tech and coding and I could do it remotely. Comes mid-April when the ceo called and said the acquisition is done and gave me some details about it. For confidentiality sake I can't reveal the details but I figured enough red flags for me to go with it.
*Eye of the tiger playing in the background*
Now started my quest of finding a decent job. The edge I had now was that I could reveal about the acquisition to the other company. I started applying left right and center to any company I could find. Amazon, saavn and some good-ass Indian companies. The thing that now came in my way was my experience. I am 23 year old(soon to be 24) with around 20 months of experience. Everyone wanted a 3-5 year experience guy/girl. Soon, my entire optimism was draining and I even considered going back to my first company.
During this time, I got a call from this company in Banglore who were looking for a candidate which best suited my profile. I went all guns blazing and appeared for the interview. I had 6 rounds of technical interview plus 1 logical reasoning. And since I was giving the interview remotely, I had one round on each alternate working day. Everyday was a challenge and I spent the nights in anxiousness and anticipation. Meanwhile I was appearing for other interviews too, since I wasn't too hopeful about my chances in this one.
Cut to April 27, I got an offer from this company and without negotiating they offered me the package I was hoping for.
After this entire ordeal, I realised one thing. Whatever happens, happens for good. Looking forward to this new city, new company, new people and new environment.11 -
Working with clients Across the globe.
12 pm their time.
This page is down, can you get it back up.
3am my time
Ok. You're just lucky I don't sleep.2 -
There is no such thing as an 'idea' person.
Learn to art, learn to code, or learn to FUCK OFF!
Talented people can take bad ideas and make gold.
Without skill the best idea will turn out garbage.2 -
My brain is melting.
6 hours straight of just Refactoring without a break.
Technical debt is real, it is a bitch, and so are clients to expect to 'see' changes every week.
Boss tells me we need to balance doing work on things the client can play with and the backend code that does it all... 😧ok....
'TODO: remove sample return and connect to backen' As far as the eye can see.3 -
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
28 -
HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.
Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...13 -
Let me tell you a story.
Our company has a homegrown monitoring solution. Keeps track of our deployments and alerts us when something is broken. Really nice for the most part, except a little issue where we get up to 25 alerts PER DAY that our PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT IS DOWN. Including weekends.
With this many false positives, we quickly learn to ignore the alerts and miss real incidents.
So we approached this team, remember its our own tool, and told them about the problem. Turns out it is a known issue. And here's the kicker: they aren't planning on fixing it!
It gets better. Rather than fix this glaring issue, their solution is to make ANOTHER ALERT that lets us know the monitoring is misbehaving.
To recap, we can now expect to get up to 25 false positive alerts per day that our production is down, followed immediately by more alerts that the monitor is broken, which means we can ignore the previous alert.
As our PM said when he heard this: fuck that noise. We are escalating the shit out of this!7 -
Near the end of a massive (1,000 user bridgeline) conference call today:
[ P = presenter, RCn = random caller n ]
P: ...so, does anyone have any other questions they'd like to---
RC1: Hey! Yeah, I'm still on this STUPID call right now... I dunno, we've been in here for like 30 minutes already - The guy came by the house to talk about it, but I couldn't get off this STUPID call - I think they said it would be around 800 dollars...
[ P, RC1, RC2, RC3, RC4 all overlapping ]
P: Um, we can hear you-
RC2: Dude, mute your phone!
RC3: As the presenter, you can mute that guy from the web UI-
P: Yeah, I can't find him in the attendee list; it's so long-
RC3: -Right-click on his name and select "mute line"-
P: I know how, but I can't find him on the list.
RC3: Find him on the attendance list on the right side-
P: [ louder and louder ] Yes, I know - but I can't find him in the list-
RC4: Should someone call an operator?
RC1: -so I figured we'll probably need to call Jerry and see what he says. I'll call him if I can ever get off this ridiculous, STUPID call - They are all talking at once on there now and no one can understand anything!
[ This went on for about 5 solid minutes, finally ending with... ]
RC1: I'm just going to drop this STUPID call and call Jerry for us. This thing was a total waste of time. [ boop-beep ]
[ long pause ]
P: OK, so now that is over, does anyone have any questions they'd like to discuss?
[ At least 10 people un-mute and overlap questions ]
#ConferenceCallProblems
Above everything else, the funniest part to me was his repeated, over-the-top insistence on how "STUPID" the call was.
#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel1 -
Big project this week. Lots of fires to put out. Deadlines approaching.
Monday: I can get by on just four hours sleep. No problem. Will be just like college.
Wednesday: I'm going to just close my eyes while this file uploads. Maybe I will backup the server while I'm at it; Just take a nap while that processes.
Friday: Sorry if my office smells like vomit. It's because I am so tired I vomited.
Sunday: I'm not getting out of this bed tomorrow. Let them fire me. I think I will just will myself into a coma. That will be nice.4 -
PhD application saga:
So, the recommenders showed up. And one by one, the letters are rolling in. I am a little hopeful.
And also anxious since there's a mere 4% acceptance rate.
But now, we shall wait...
🐀
*Goes into hiding to anxiously binge-eat*15 -
???: Salesforce is simply the best. You can do anything you can dream of with it. It can solve all of your pro—
Dev: Sir, this is a Wendy’s.11 -
I'm such an idiot.
Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.
Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.
Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.
At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.
Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.
Such an idiot.
14 -
My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.
I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.
my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will
(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up
I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.2 -
Today is good, so far.
Husband graduates and promotes and my younger brother made it to Texas safely this morning.
Oh, and I'm out of the office 😄5 -
Typical conversation between my parents and me
Parents: Can you make stuff?
Me: Make what?
Parents: The thing you do all the time.
Me: "Computer stuff"?
Parents. Yah...
Me: Well, yes, why?
Parents: What can you do?
Me: Well, I know C# the most...
Parents: Can you then make software like Facebook, Twitter, etc?
Me: Well, I can, but that will take a lot of time.
Parents: You should really make something and make money.
Me: Ok. (goes into my room, and turns on laptop)
(a few monents later....)
--[[CHORUS START]]--
Parents: U DOIN COMPUTER???
Me: Uh-huh.
Parents: When did I said to do "Computer stuff"?
Me: Well, you said to rest.
Parents: But I never said to do your "Computer stuff"!
Me: But you said to rest. For an hour!
Parents: WHY U SHOUT AT ME!!!! TURN OFF THAT **** NOW!
Me: Ok.... (turns off and opens C# book immediately)
Parents: What's that?
Me: C# book
Parents: What's C#?
Me: Programming language.
Parents: Where can you use it?
Me: Make stuff.
Parents: Like what?
Me: (lists my personal projects)
Parents: Show me.
Me: (turns on the computer and shows one of it)
Parents: Good. (leaves)
--[[CHORUS END]]--
Me: (deep breath) Can I FINALLY use the computer?
--[[CHOURS]]--9 -
!dev, sort of
Days like today make me not ready for Monday. Goddamnit nature, why you gotta be so pristine?
15 -
me: I will major in CS so I can work with computers, not people
narrator: But little did he know...4 -
I tried to build an application in a container, but the build failed with 54 warnings and 86 errors.
My coworker watched the build fail from behind me, and jokingly said "Well... have fun going through all that".
I told him to wait just a second.
I switched out the image for the build step with a slightly altered one.
Build fails with one error.
Coworker just stares at the screen with his mouth open.
I'm starting to appreciate Docker now.3 -
I'm back bitches! And I'm having a second interview today! We'll see if I get the job! Wish me luck8
-
My younger sister has to write a story for her assignment and she isn't getting any ideas . So I suggested this :
A story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas... till 200 words.10 -
Good morning guys,
Have a nice day with your task today.
Let's smile and be positive you will feel better and more productive ^^
"You Can Do It!"7 -
I think my productivity at work seriously went up when I discovered this site with custom noise generators. Blocks out my coworkers, and I can pretend it's raining all the time. Perfect for coding!
http://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/...2 -
DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...
FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!14 -
SPA I made:
- works on any major desktop browser(Chrome/Chromium, Firefox, Vivaldi) on Windows and arch
- works on any browser on any Android phone (version >= 4.x.x)
- Works on a freaking fridge
- Does not work on iPhone ...wtf apple7 -
I wonder if I’d get in trouble for brand misuse if I designed and sold a t-shirt that says “Be nice to me or I’ll talk about you on devRant.”6
-
Coding is a superpower. With it, you can bend reality to your will. You can make the world a better place. Or you can destroy it.
Source: freecodecamp2 -
Coding has given me the ability to turn my favorite hobby into a career. This in turn gave me the chance to take jobs in three countries so far (US, Germany, UK). So, I can explore the world with lovely wife while doing something I'm really passionate about and constantly learning. It also allows me to relate more to my dad, a software engineer of about 30 years who got me started when I was a kid.
In short, coding changed everything for me.
PS: I met my wife in intro to CS, though she's not a developer. -
"Let's quickly make sure that the docker container can access a host database"
I guess I can put that quickly up my ass.
How motherfucking difficult can this be?!18 -
my best use of Linux's ability to pipe together commands
git | cowsay | lolcats
I also have a custom bash script written that if the message is longer than 50 lines it writes cuts it off with a '...more' and outputs to a file where I can read the full details if needs be.
7 -
When your company buys a third party solution and you spend all your time emailing them about bugs in their system.
Seriously, I even sent you the exact line of the bug in your JavaScript with a suggested solution, and deployed a new stack with your latest (broken) fix so you can test out that solution. Then you email back saying it is fixed but it is clearly still broken. If I email you a fixed version of your file will you deploy it? OMG!1 -
Can we rant about coworking spaces?
I like the coworking office concept and I love this desk I have for myself, I like this building, the supervisor is sweet and I made new clients here...
But I hate one of my "neighbours".
We have several office rules and he constantly breaks them.
No music allowed without headphones. Nope, gotta listen to shitty radio straight from the smartphone speaker.
No loud conferences or phone talks. Nah, let's set the volume to the max. And leave the phone behind and let it ring loudly forever.
You can only occupy one desk unless you rent more. In comes his coworker who keeps occupying an extra desk for free and who's as loud as he is. And bring the kids because hey, growing up bored inside a office is good for them.
And today's newest: no eating in the office. Coworker brought her kid who set up a -dinning table- on the extra desk and began eating her lunch leftovers. It wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have noticed except the office was overflowed with the stench of overheated pasta.
This is a big office. I had to open the windows. I can still feel the smell. It's nauseating.
I didn't say anything because it's not the kid's fault they didn't take her to the building's canteen space. But at the risk of making enemies where I shouldn't, I need to have a "fun" talk with someone.8 -
I don't get people..
He is a good person and and realy tries..
Tries what?! To annoy coworkers that have to fix every single thing he does?!
Some people will justify anything with 'he is a nice person and tries hard'. WTF?!
So if someone is a nice person, likes to talk a lot, has 'good' social skills but writes crappy code he doesn't test at all.. or tests and see that it's glitchy and still doesn't fix it.. so he is a good worker for that?! Dafaq?!
So if he is a 'lovable' person, he deserves to be here, doing more damage than helps.. he deserves to have a job, with same pay (or even more) than me?! WTF?! How?!
Why is this ok?! If we were heart surgeons and he killed a person or two due to lack of skills or negligence, what would happen?!
He'd get fired on spot!! Why can't it be the same with devs?!
Why on fucking earth do we need to put up with people who try their best and fail?! Especially if their best is lowest of all, lower than the 'I don't give a fuck, just doing sth so the boss stops nagging'?!
Fuuuuuuuu!!!!
But ok, some people are not cut out for some work, I get it.. but why the fuck do other people justify that with 'he tries'?! Dafaq?!
Maybe next time 'I'll try' to perfom brain surgery on you..and you'll end up a fuckin plant.. is that ok with you?! I'll be trying (not really) and do my best (well I will try not to use a chainsaw when cutting open your head).. will that be ok with you?!
Fuck!!5 -
Just spent 2 fucking hours debugging one of my websites scripts because apparently appendChild wasn't a function... Here I was thinking there was a function called getElementByClassName... Dick head me didn't realise I'm missing a single 's'... 2 hours over a single fucking s!
Fuck javascript man...12 -
Checked out my college’s robotics team today. I was the only girl in the room, and I feel like I won’t make any close friends like I did in high school. I want my awesome high school robotics team back... 😢13
-
*ahem*
You know how people say "you get the gist!", yeah?
...
I don't. 🤔
How can they expect me to GET http-colon-slash-slash-gist-dot-github-dot-com without the rest of the url?
I bet it's stored in that social context I've never been able to access.
THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK 😘 -
I see the industry popularizing Machine Learning programs using AI to implement ethical Blockchain as a Javascript framework using Scrum techniques for Big Data Web2.0 in Responsive Virtual Reality for your IoT Growth Hacking operations.3
-
!rant
My colleague saw this code of mine and said it is annoying conditions are not on the same line, since it is a shared project I can't go "that's my style!"
What do you think should I convince him why we need to follow this approach (at least it can be easily read rather than reading a screen wide line)
26 -
Thanks @dfox for the latest update with all the choices for my avatar.. Now I can flaunt my lack of fashion sense on devrant too! 😂😂2
-
Developer of said repo notices the influx of activity, but then just updates the readme by saying there are bugs, not fixing.
Bro I just gave you a PR. Take the fucking PR and that will fix the bugs. -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
My Team Lead: Hey do you know goofy?
Me: What is it?
TL: It's a new programming language
Me: *being suspicious* show me what are you dealing with
TL: *Shows me a Groovy code snippet*
Me: Yeah!! Your goofy is pretty good!! Enjoy! 😡1 -
LaTeX should have an option to notify you every time you catastrophically misspell words and turn a "six" into "sex"...
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️7 -
So in Germany we have something like 'cooperative study'. You are employed in a company and study 'normal' at a university. This is in 3 month phases, i.e. 3 months working, 3 months studying.
At the moment I'm working and there is a colleauge, that seems to have no high confidence in my programming skills.
Today I saw parts of his NodeJS code and I thought I'm going crazy.
No comments, no real usage of callbacks or at least promises and I dont want to talk about naming of the variables.
I caught myself arguing with this guy too often and always thought I'm the stupid one, that doesn't understand him.
But I'm starting to think, He is the one that is hard to understand.
How ever, I stay confident and also keep a nice tone (also help as much as I can) and sometimes we also have the same thoughts in some topicd. It's not that bad, but sometimes I feel underestimated.
But hey, so it's a bigger surprise if I'm presenting my results and show them what I'm able to do 👍🏻2 -
.net 1.1 had the best documentation ever written. Microsoft spent an enormous amount of money and a dedicated team of skilled engineers just to write them. It was kind of a great time to be a developer, even though the technology is much better now. The current reliance on community docs doesn't hold up as well.2
-
Spent half an hour arguing with my teammate about where a method should be.
Then we discovered that both ways were wrong.. -
Today may be the day I walk the fuck out... Almost done with the 3rd revisions of the fucking website and guess what?
To - “Anony”
Subject - website
Hey, here’s a list of changes we’d like for the website. Instead of following the theme of “WhateverTheFucksHopsital.html” we’d like for it to look similar to “AnotherFucksWebsite.html”. The board would like to see this up and running in the next week.
How’s about you sit and spin. You haven’t given me any information on a website only that you want it to look like some other hospitals. Then, you add photographer to my fucking job description as well as information hunter. You can fuck yourself and higher an outside company to create your website from scratch again for the now 4th fucking time. Then, you’ll understand and see just how fucking expensive it is... Nor will that company take your shit with the lack of information coming from your end. You can kindly, suck my dick.2 -
ME: so this is a RAID array
YOU: but the A in RAID is for "array" so isn't saying "RAID array" redundant?
ME: Yes, that's what the R is for.
(from Steve Land, source: http://ganssle.com/tem/tem348.html/) -
Would have loved if my teachers had any idea about coding, more over, if they had any idea about coding in big projects, even more if they had any idea of producing understandable maintainable code and had taught people about it.
-
The technician from my previous ISP was creating a mess. The cables were worn out and overall the service quality started degrading. Maybe I too had an old router.
After 10 years of loyalty, decided to switch the ISP. Similar plan, better rates. However, this one is fibre optic.
Expecting better service and less bandwidth drop. We just got the installation done and now will get the connection activated next week.
The ISP has also agreed to provide me a free 5G router, so yayayay!!5 -
So I found some weird library included in this legacy code, didn't really get what it does and why it's there though.
Turns out there's nothing to be found on the internet about it. Absolutely nothing.
So after browsing through the directory structure a bit more I discover a README file. Hoping for answers I opened it, only to find this...
3 -
Intern tries to merge a huge commit without knowing what he's doing. Breaks half the app. I'm at 30 min and counting of having to fix everything he broke.14
-
Windows updates are a bit like SAW, you either inflict the pain on yourself or wait until it is forced upon you.
🤬6 -
Cause with enough experience and time I can do anything anyone else can and more.
A painter can paint a painting by hand, I can paint the same painting by code.
A musician can create a song on an instrument, I can create the same song by code.
A teacher can teach. I can teach a computer to teach teachers how to teach. -
So I am a restaurant and want a glass of water... But none of the waiters respond. I finally get someone they say OK n leave...
5 mins pass... I'm thinking how I'm not gonna tip bc bad service...
Then 3 ppl come all with a glass of water...1 -
disadvantage of using noise canceling headphones.
boss comes in from other room. more amused than annoyed
👺:Is there a reason you are letting out a loud burp and a fart every couple minutes that i can hear through the walls?
🙊:Oh!? now I understand why my deaf friends are so oblivious to why the rest of us start laughing for 'no reason' when we go out to dinner with them. -
[Me at night]
1 Me: should I sleep?
2 Brain: right after finishing this module
3 Me: <drinking coffee>
4 goto 16 -
Me: *adds a shiny new graph to our foos web app showing player ratings*
Fred: Can I please have a button to see just my scores?
Me: *adds "JUST FRED" button*
Fred: perfect, thanks4 -
Can anyone recommend a nice set of DnD dice for a gift? It's for my boyfriend's younger sister. She's just getting into it and we're all playing on her birthday.
There's cheap sets everywhere and I'd like to get her something of nice quality.8 -
My mum wants to learn how to use a computer. She wants to help my dad in his business in case something needs to be done and neither me nor my dad are (currently) available.
Will be .... a great challenge, since she didn't use a desktop computer almost ever, but i'm nevertheless proud of her and will try my best to help her😍😊😎6 -
You can solve a lot of problems with regex... but you can also create others if you're not careful:
"inadvertently blocked or throttled all domains containing the string t.co rather than blocking only the domain t.co itself"
https://arstechnica.com/information... -
I had a team lead once that would come into my office multiple times a day to sit and talk. Not about work. Not even about development. Just to talk.3
-
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
Comitting a code is like comitting a crime,
There is a chance it will make something better, but it usually fucks everything up.1 -
I wanna work for a company that develops cool algorithms and implements them. Where the devs analyze complex issues and have to do complex problem solving. Where everyday is a challenge. Not a place where simple repetitive UI bugs are the issue at hand. Not a place where the only tasks and todos are trivial and uninteresting. Not a place where most of my coworkers are idiots.2
-
How I feel when I finally manage to make "Hei guyz" show up on the front page with React, after 5 months not touching any JS libraries.
1 -
Creating a project is like hiking in a dark forest. Sometimes you take a wrong turn, then another wrong turn. Before you know it, you're surrounded by bears.
-
Python Question:
I'm learning Python and thought I'd start with web services since that's a concept I'm familiar with. My question is, in the attached code, am I doing it right when it comes to python? Cuz I feel like I'm following the same structure I follow in C# WebAPI and NodeJs
What about naming style? Is is the default for python? cuz I'm also using C# naming style :\
Thanks in advance ranters :)
26 -
>Be a customer
>Ask to reduce number of servers you rent at our company
>Agree to a date when the one server you no longer needs will be due to be disconnected and taken apart
>Date comes
>I have the honors of sending the final /sbin/poweroff
>All goes neatly... until...
The web that used to be there, now moved to another one of their machines, goes down, wtf???
Oh. a 500. What?
Checks logs...
Cannot connect to Database.
Wtf? Local database works... Oh. OH. OH MY GOD.
>Turn the server back on and tell the customer to fix the app to no longer connect to that machine
Sometimes, being a sysadmin can be a real fun!1 -
i understand and accept why some people prefer mac.
every mac i have ever used has shit the bed during normal use. while windows and Linux machines have too, however less frequently. unlike mac there is always something i can personally do about it to fix the problem.
i like having complete control over my computer and don't like the idea of paying a premium to be told how i can or can't use it.6 -
Oh my! This guy is such a dickhead! We have a release tomorrow and he just changed everything a coworker did in the past few weeks because it had some errors and looked not polished enough.
Now it looks quite nice.
*sigh* Sometimes I can be such an asshat. -
Not a rant but seemed appropriate. I was finding Pokemon at my desk while reading clientsfromhell.com and this happened
1 -
A headache starts popping in my head like modals and popups on websites, so I decide I should take a pill and proceed to get myself some water (yeah, I cannot stand headaches for more than 2 minutes).
As I enter, the room is only populated with the "cleaning lady" (she's quite aged), I tell her "hi" and proceed to grab a glass of water.
"Hey, you are good in IT right?"
Oh fuck.
RUNNNNN.
That lady is impossible to escape once she wants to talk to you.
So my skills as a developer were used to configure her facebook...
Hope my headache starts leaving soon, it worsened by a factor of 9000 after that traumatic episode.1 -
My most humbling experience was finding the source code online to the original Pokemon games. It was right after I had finished my first text based Linux console game and I was looking up other programs source codes just for shits and giggles. Most of them were simple and I learned a few simple tricks but the red and blue Pokemon were the first codes I saw that fascinated me. The addressing, the memory allocation, even the simple audio processing was simply genius. So many unique innovations and techniques. If I achieve 1/5th of the skill I found in those files, I can die a happy programmer!3
-
Foolow up on: https://devrant.com/rants/1066787/...
I freaking did!
Already wrote half of the app in react.
I dont know how it happened, but i just got the idea and started coding suddenly!
And.... I love it!3 -
There it fucking is again...
The legendary spyware "Antimalware Service Executable".
I changed the entry in the regedit. Tried to delete it with every possible tool. Tried to "chmod" it in the Windows way to be able to delete it as an admin. Doesn't work.
I swear in the name of bloody satan. This shit is doomed. It cannot be removed even if your shit begins to burn.
Microsoft, fucking remove it.
It is not a fucking feature!
Your windows updates fucking suck, your compatibility telemetry whatever the fuck you call these retarded ass "features" anymore fucking suck, your windows defender sucks.
Is there anything that doesn't suck in the features that you produce? I don't fucking think so. Fucking die for fucks sake.
Apple is overpriced, but at least they do their job well. Not like you, you fucking scumbags!
JESUS!
14 -
You cannot completely delete a windows service, as long as the services panel is open. The service stays undead and prevents any reinstallation until the services panel is closed.
Thanks Microsoft.
Separation of GUI and business logic does not apply here, because it's kernel logic, right?
But at least you're consistents, there is a similar issue with not installing USB drivers if the new hardware dialog is open.4 -
Unbelievable !!! In reference to this: https://devrant.com/rants/2131796/...
The process that was killing performance was, Watchman! I don't even understand I don't have any node stuff running why is watchman starting on system boot ... it was taking sweet 512MB of RAM
Everything now runs smoothly ...3 -
Products team just hit me up with random requirements straight out of their ass. They know very well my entire team is wrapped up building a new app. Now I respond with random mêmes. Fuck you.5
-
!dev
When you're waiting impatiently for your computer to load something so you basically become the computer's personal cheerleader. -
I have a confession to make, I use a light theme, and I like it.
There. I said it. You can all hate me now.
It helps me to focus tho, as I use a dark UI theme. It really brings out the code.12 -
Again found myself before deadline. My excuse? I'm more productive during the deadline rush :D
How everyone else sees it: you fucked up
What do I say to myself: never again!!!
```
sleep(until_next_deadline);
goto begining_of_this_post;
``` -
https://youtu.be/2VkNWLYD5c4
What this? Kids who use tablets and technology have IMPROVED fine motor skills over those who do not.
How can this be? Everything the new generation has that older generations did not is always the worst thing ever.3 -
You know you've grown when you get your answers from the source code directly, instead of stack overflow
-
It was in highschool. The classes were boring, the teachers were dull. One day, I was making a silly application in Visual Basic. A guy I had been in class with all year saw me coding, after that he came up to me. He was excited he found someone who was a coder as well. We started talking about our experiences and the possibilities. We could fill hours of stupid highschool subjects with talk of code. We immediately became best friends, despite never really have spoken before.
We made some cool shit together.
He is still one of my best friends 7 years later, even though he stopped pursuing a programming carreer.1 -
Help. I work with a guy who really wants to learn programming (he’s sales/support rn) and is even taking some courses on it. He seems eager enough to learn, the problem is he is just so fucking stupid I don’t know whether to encourage him or level with him.
He somehow managed to pass a course on Java (which I still don’t believe since I had to help him put his lines of code in the right order ffs), but now he’s signed up for C++ and data structures and I honestly don’t know how he’s going to do it.
This is the type of guy who loves “coding” but thinks debugging is a waste of time.
Normally I encourage anyone who wants to learn programming do so, but let’s be honest it does take a modicum of intelligence and this guy has zero common sense at all. We’re talking about a guy who sent me a *screenshot* of an Excel file that I needed to copy some activation codes from. And then had absolutely no idea what was wrong when I replied “are you fucking with me right now?”
*sigh*
And that’s not even scratching the surface. I sent him a zip file containing some updated code and walked him through how to update them on Slack (really basic, copy/replace files stuff). Then the VERY next day when I sent him a second update he asks “is there something you want me to do with this?”
The instructions were literally the last thing we talked about in the chat log.
I actually fear the stuff this guy would unleash upon the world if someone were actually able to teach him how to write a whole program.
What should I do? Right now my plan is to be vaguely supportive but secretly hope he will realize he’s in over his head and drop out before any damage is done. But my worry is he may just be SO dumb that he actually thinks he can do it. At that point I guess I just have to put my faith in his school and pray that they aren’t just giving degrees away to whoever can afford them. Because fear the day this guy ever gets a degree in programming.9 -
I swear the God I'm considering getting a rabied dog just to bite your balls off in case I ever see you in the streets..
- guys X are running load tests on env A
- load tests complete
- analysis of test results is being done
- slow response times are obsered
- someone asks whether X guys took a thread dump for further analysis
- a guy from team X (Mr. Xx) replies: "Will take the Thread Dump now."
- 10 minutes later uploads the whole fucking 2GB log file to Slack
- Xx replies: "I do not see anything wrong in the dump"
A fucking retard... Shove that useless dump up your ass and THEN tell me there's nothing wrong with it! Why the FUCK do you think that's the case? Moron1 -
Stuck at dealing with a huge amount of images again. 🤦
No idea how quickly I can get this object classification nn up and running, as it seems I have forgotten how to do shit. 🙄😒8 -
I'm part of a robotics team in my highschool. We work on autonomous robots, which are driven with microcontrollers like the Arduino and "bare" Atmel chips.
Last year we were using a protocol called CAN. CAN is a bus which runs at 1Mbps and it is quite easy to connect devices together. (It's a bus ofc it is). BUT... it needs a terminator at the end, mostly 120 ohm.
Every year we are on a deadline and something broke on our current board and we needed to solder up a new one, but we couldn't find the 120 ohm terminator... ANYWHERE!
At end after searching for it in the workshop for 4h straight (12am- 4am) we finally found it, and soldered up the new board and guess what... it wasn't what we thought, the code was the problem.
After realizing the problem my teammate and I, in silence just stood up, packed our things and went home. Argh!2 -
Sitting here watching another team get yet another intern while I solo develop 3 different projects. Can I get even just a little help? Please?5
-
I can officially tell, that XPS 15 series is the best series of laptops.
Mine does have quite a bit of stuck pixels, BUT
I can replace the ram
I can replace SSD
I can change the battery and its size, if I choose a smaller one I can add another 2.5" drive
I can replace the screen
I can replace power button
I can replace a mobo
I can replace the keyboard
I can replace the touchpad
I can use older or newer versions of these things since it will work for my laptop, it's just compatible
I can replace it by myself at home, no need for professional service to make it for me, it's super easy to repair laptop11 -
We interviewed some candidates for a dev position some weeks ago and, knowing the environment isn't that challenging (at least for me) I voted against the better curriculums because I know they would be frustrated fast, I said that. But I didn't say it was because it's shit here... Of course.... I really just want the good devs to be better then they can be here.... What do you think?3
-
talking about people with computer preferences i don't understand.
i sometimes forget i use a mechanical roller ball mouse for work and play.
which one? just google it, these are so out of fashion there are only three different models currently for sale anywhere that i can find.
6 -
God I hate this shit. It's so fucking hot in here that I instantly start to sweat when the fan is not running but when it's running I get an instant headache since it runs way to fast even on the lowest level. WHY can't we have an AC as about every other company in the world -.-5
-
!rant
I love emacs dired mode.
Nothing better than the full power of a decent text editor to edit directory content.
I know quite some multi-file-naming tools, but they are all crap compared to dired.
That's all. Have a nice weekend, everyone!1 -
1. React and all subsequent Facebook endeavors die
2. Be able to completely understand all code I come across
3. More dev wishes2 -
I was working on computer project with a friend. He saw my devRant stressball was sideways so he turned it upright. I saw it was upright so I turned it sideways. We both have aspergers so we keep doing this for two hours before either one of us says anything about the OCD battle we were having.
You would think acknowledging the situation would allow us to laugh it off and get on with our work....
Half an hour later Devy McRant Face has to go in a drawer so we can move on. -
Google apparently blocked users of small browsers like Konqueror, Qutebrowser or Falkon from loggining into their account, because of "security" concerns. Well played, Google! I hope you will be happy if a few users will switch to your data crawling machine.9
-
So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man. -
I have a lot of fun during crunch time.
It's like running a marathon. It is both physically and mentally taxing, and I get a rush out of seeing how hard I can push myself.
But like a marathon, it suuuuucks if you are not prepared, or you otherwise didn't want to do that.
You hear that bosses?
Crunch is like running a marathon. That thing that people, who prepare for years to do, still causes them to piss and shit themselves while their nipples bleed. And that's when they are fully prepared. That is what you are asking your team to do without any notice ahead of time.
"Ok Derrick, I know you wanted to visit your family in the country this weekend. But we need you to run uphill, fuled only by diet dr pepper and fear of loosing your job, untill you pass out and need an I.V. to keep you from stroking out. '
Otherwise a lot of fun. -
My family literally knows nothing about development, programming, computer science. It's bad. The closest anyone in my family has come to understanding is a distant cousin, who is an IT lead in Healthcare. His mother told him to call me because some fucking piece of shit at his job purposefully mucked up an internal ASP.net app on his way out. Sure, I had nothing better to do than to phone debug your shitty app with zero context. Great.
My wife is the one who comes closest to understanding in my immediate family* but even she admits when I come home ranting that she has absolutely zero idea what I'm saying.
It great though because I get to use her as a living rubber duck that just stares at me with a blank expression. Then at the end of describing a complex problem I'm trying to sort out she just replies with some encouraging thing like, "I'm certain you'll figure it out."
Fuck this is a long rant. Sorry. I better get back to work. -
I feel like there is a pattern going on with stupid-ass recruiters, so let's fix it.
if(person.getJob() === 'Recruiter') {
person.insertIdea(Sex.FEMALE, Ability.CAN_FUCKING_PROGRAM);
//stupid shitheads
} -
My dad needs my help with an excel sheet and calls me "Hey, need your help to do X, but this computer doesn't allow me to do, how can i do it?"
Me, who has already used skype, teamviewer and (Wahtsapp) video call several times (him too!) and got things done faster this way:"let's do a video call (whatsapp) so you can show me and i can help you better" (my dad thinks teamviewer is too complicated to use)
my dad "oh come on please, i don't have time for this, let's do it this way!"
After i tried to explain him that it would take far more time on the phone, needing him to explain what he sees, telling him the advantages of a video call right now, he ended like "ok forget about it!"
as he said that i kinda fell in a rage, quit the call myself and almost threw the phone against smth.
Seriously how hard can it be??? it's just few phone taps away😥, i would have even proposed to video call him myself to make things easier for him! But he prefers the classical-phone-way which every time takes half an hour just to understand where he's at.
It's just frustrating every time...2 -
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Monday I fuck up by duplicatung some emails.
Today my colleague accidentally sent emails in our test system out which in turn reduplicated the same emails I sent.
My boss is going to love it when he's back in. -
An idea which was once your dream.
You worked very hard.
You exhausted all your time.
Your no.1 priority is your dream then family.
Your sleepless nights were comforted by naps.
You dropped out of school.
You stopped your lovely job.
Finally, you succeeded.
You brought the dream to life. Hurray!
You were very excited including the people around you.
... And then
One rich dude came by... -
Ideal job
I do creative projects whatever I want with no deadlines or pressure, everyone loves whatever I make except me because I know I can do better than that last crap I made, getting paid plenty of money to pay off all my family and friends debt and have plenty left over. Specifically making fun programs useful software or web apps and have plenty of free time for taking retreats and going out into nature away from computers and technology.1 -
I hate this feeling.
Changing stuff with a greamripers scythe around my neck called doubt because the available data isn't too convincing.
Then having to go big or nothing as it is an ecosystem change (e.g. changing the cipher suites of TLS, changing protocol - e.g. HTTP 1.1 to 2) so it needs to be consistent as otherwise fun stuff could happen (fun as in the grim reaper cuts off my neck except a few centimeters and plays "now your head is off, now your head is on" ).
To top it off - just few seconds after the change has happened people coming up in the support channel.
My hands are - mysteriously - not sweaty then. Rather cold.
Lil prayer to the heavens and getting the whiskey bottle...
Opening an ongoing discussion in support channel....
And they're discussing whether the page needs to have an additional arrow for going back to the last page or if the default page navigation is enough.
Constantly using @all so everyone gets pissed off due to being pinged every few seconds in a channel that was meant for emergency support.
Now my hands go from a dark red to a bright red, my nostrils flare out, my adrenaline goes through the roof and I literally wanna murder people....
Those days.
I hate those days.
And I hate the timing of some people...
Like they're deliberately fucking with me without knowing it, like the universe told them explicitly to do so just to fuck with me.
*gooozfraba*
And of course, everything else is fine and running smooth like butter, except that said discussion now goes on in a total flamewar so I get even more pings.
Sucks to be in management.
You have way to many rooms where people can annoy you.
To top it off - after being grumpy and pissed and angry for people just annoying the fuck out of me, I have to mediate.
Yeah. Cause the usual person is on vacancy.
*slowly strangling the whiskey bottle like homer does with bart*
Turns out after 15 mins listening to enraged UX designer vs Frontend Team Lead that UX designer meant a completely different thing - uploaded wrong screenshot, whole discussion was unnecessary.
*Nah. Fuck it. Drinking whiskey*
Reminding everyone what the fucking frigging support channel is meant for and that penis fights aka who got the longest schlong don't belong there....
"Yeah it was a mistake, but it wasn't so bad"
...
You pinged fucking 32 people like it was the end of the world, you ignorant fucktwads.
For over 5 mins.
For fucking frigging nothing except your tiny dicks and shitty egos.
*Second round of whiskey*
Back to work after a wasted half hour.
What says monitoring?
Ah. Everything's working.
At least luck hasn't failed me.
Good server. Brave server.
Then I hear this lil voice in my head: no.
The servers know your personality.
They're afraid. Terrified.
Somehow that thought makes me giggle always...
Childish? Maybe. But it helps on those days.... Funnily enough, remaining 3 hours noone said anything in any chat channel.
"I wonder why, I wonder how...."... *hum* -
Turns out there was a 50-car pileup on a highway near LITERALLY FUCKING NOTHING TOWN, USA. Worst until today was 5.
Amazing what an inch of ice'll do.5 -
So many 'my Precious' devrant stickers, but nowhere to put them.
Waiting for new laptop in three months, trade out phone every year so don't want to waist them there.
Friend: you can give one to me.
HISSSSSSSSSS!
Friend: woah, dude?
Yeah, they do look sad just sitting in the envelope they came in. Here you go.
Friend: Thanks. I don't know, still looks sad on my laptop.
Well, that's cause your laptop's shit init.1 -
How is it called when I rant about something my colleagues experienced and I just supported his debug session? Third party rant? Anyway, here's the thing.
Other team built some project specific code right in the heart of their software, which in itself would be worth a rant. But as you might guess, it's getting rantier.
For a new project the same code is used, but needed some tweaks. Now guess what happened:
1) Someone took the code, refactored it, made project specific stuff configurable, everything works fine now
2) Someone changed the code completely for the new project, everything seems to work fine for 5 months, then the old project needed a new release 💣 -
Is there a word cloud and ngram (word frequency over time) for devRant?
I'd like to test the following hypotheses:
- 'Fuck' is in the top 20 words.
- Swearing happens more often as the week progresses, with the exception of a small Monday morning spike. -
If this unit test were a real person, I'dsmack it across the face with a steel pipe and shatter its spine with a spiked mace coated in acid. Then I'd toss the fucker into a pit full of a hundred angry, rabid weasels and snarling, hungry raccoons, sprinkle some ground chestnuts and cocaine and tell bastard to run until I see some goddamn green.5
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The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.
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After a month of loving git, I finally got into an irreversible git mess yesterday. Spent all night rewriting last two days of code. I feel like a real programmer 😋
Seriously though, I'm gonna take backups a lot more frequently now onwards.2 -
Being able to make tools that I can use to make tools that I can use to make tools that I can use to make...
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When everyone thinks FE is easier, quicker, and less important than BE. Just because our fantastic UX people made you a high fidelity mockup in a day does not mean we can build the whole FE in a week.
This is why I'm returning to full stack. -
Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.
Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?
In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.
For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.
I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.
But... ?
I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.9 -
Okay so, I’ve recently started going through our products’ security postures and their teams’ related practices and processes. I knew things were in a bad state, but I have to admit I’m a bit anxious at how bad things are… and it’s not like nobody cared or anything, quite the opposite; the teams are quite motivated about cyber sec. It’s just that they don’t know what the fuck to do and where to start even if they did.
Okay, that’s my job to figure out the roadmap to improving their security posture and processes and help them implement it. If it wasn’t bad enough that there’s half a dozen products whose cyber sec roadmaps I need to prioritise and manage somehow, I heard this week that due to some organisational rearrangements, the number of products under my stern guidance will nigh on double at some point very soon…
I need a team. Give me a team.2 -
Who found out the hard way he is now very intolerant to OTC allergy meds? Me.
Who also terribly suffers from seasonal allergy? Yep. Me.
It's going to be a long summer, coding with migraines, sinusitis, and irritated eyes 😞4 -
Holding back so hard on getting a new laptop.
We are so close to getting the hardware i want at the price I can accept.1 -
I got a compulsory SAT/SUN reboot on my work pc this morning when I logged in.... after i just rebooted it... BTW today is Monday...
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Serverless app VS docker app
Let the rant begin !
Preferably write the cons and pros with your argument aswell :)6 -
https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/...
*LookAtCalendar* 1st april already done this year...
I would suggest to use the function to set a "mentally challenged"-flag on the user profile.
Let's hope the developers behind that idea are still lying under their desks laughing their asses off.3 -
Just noticed a thread on r/programmerhumor about bank code intentionally adding delays with all these JavaScript code blocks of how it's adding sleep cycles in.
So I spent an hour reading the documentation and wrote up an over engineered solution in COBOL just to prove a point.2 -
How fucking hard can it be to show a simple image. Guess which app has this feature.
Images are cropped to frame, but you can tap to fit the whole image to frame instead. No way to see the image on full screen. Pinch to zoom works, but it will immediately unzoom if you let go even one finger.4 -
What's your favourite under appreciated programming language?
By that, I mean a programming language that isn't widely used but deserves more recognition?
I'll leave the exact definitions for you 🙂12 -
Seriously, wtf give the work to someone else, claiming that "I'm too busy to do this", when all that other person does is come asking you for help, and not only do you have to figure out what needs to be done, you need to figure out how the other person fucked it up and try to fix it without hurting any feelings. Oh, and, yes, I was too busy for doing what is essentially double work.
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for on the go developinh I have completely replaced my laptop with my phone and a folding Bluetooth keyboard.
It can really do anything my laptop did, and if needed I can just remote desktop into my pc or ssh into a server.2 -
Too much wrong with this...
Test your template before sending, noobs!
And... Where oh where is the unsubscribe link?!
1 -
Please how realistically, can you make $5k with programming skills per month?
What web application can a programmer build or ways can I do this ?
#SaveASoul21 -
I want to start a devRoulette project: basically something telling you what to code, in what language, and with some challenges if specified. Feel free to put your suggestions here :)
NEW: @SADAVA, who has been bashed quite a lot for their initiative of building demos for my project, didn't mean harm. In fact, I might consider a collab, so yeah :)12 -
Do you people anything about a processor with a firewall?
Because I just saw an episode of Arrow where they were trying to break into such a firewall!1 -
Saw a CSS troll post, here's a general development troll post.
Replace every semicolon (;) with a greek question mark (;) in your colleague's code and watch the compilers, runtime environments, and your colleague scream.5 -
DuckDuckGo claims that they don't track their users, which is very true. But if a person is using an Android device, he/she is already "owned" by Google.
How does DDG help here?10 -
Any recommendations for moving a blog?
My wife and I just cancelled our account with siteground hosting a WordPress blog. Looking for a cheaper alternative. Willing to get my hands dirty as a web dev, but would like a nice CMS experience for my wife. Also want to keep our existing content. If we can keep our custom domain somehow that would be a win.
Thanks!7 -
"if compiler can infer this, there is no need to add "x ->" , simply use it" ..AAAGHH FUCK YOUUUUU KOTLIN!! what else should i fucking not write? why do't you take a number of my employee and ask his requirements, maybe add a ShoppingKartApp.kt in your compiler next time? it will be completely inferred when i write "Fuck you" in the gradle.
And fucking companies are promoting this! I wonder how those devs are living there
Person A knows only that lambda is
{name:Type,name:Type->code}, and thus writes a clean code.
Person B comes says "This shit suck", writes "{ acc, i -> acc + " " + i }" ,goes away
Person A : "wtf is this shit? why it works?"
Please for the love of god, follow some rules! My first language was python, i love its zen:
- Beautiful is better than ugly.
- Simple is better than complex.
- Readability counts.
- Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules.
- There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
- If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea.
-...
I just wish it follows at least one thing from python's zen : "There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it."3 -
When you spend 3 or 4 hours working on a large PBI on Friday and you go into work early AF (6:30am) on Monday so you can finish before the end of the sprint on Tuesday, but they tell you in the morning stand up that the PBI will be abandoned.
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Can I build apps in Android devices using only C/C++ ? I mean is possible? I heard it is, but how that can be achieved? Can someone explain!12
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!Deno
Being now able to write import 'npm:<name>' and it just working is quite hilarious, not having to use nodejs but still using the projects built on it .. wwwwww25 -
A device that makes women understand that we cannot focus on them all the fucking time, therefore, making them understand that if we can't does not mean we don't care...3
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!rant
Can't believe it!
I've been bitten 6 times by a mysterious bug two nights ago while I was asleep and when I saw my face in the mirror this morning...
Omg! All I see is huge herps on my upper lip although I haven't caught cold recently :/
Never knew a bug could cause this ! Cause it's the first time I'm infected herpes simplex in my life.8 -
Random rant: the real ugly thing about dark themed apps is that you can't for the life of you find the taskbar so that you may drag the fucking thing around. (not a light theme guy btw)2
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Do you have any images/memes for `bus factor == 1` situations ? Any devopsreactions ?
Strikes at me too many times nowadays :)
Not this one with yellow bus :D It's ugly -
Should I try to build a OS myself with this: https://github.com/danistefanovic/... as my starting point?
My goal is to try and build a Linux OS that can also run Android apks (not necessarily from the Play store) that is imaged and able to run on my Raspberry Pi. Or this is a dream that cannot be realized?2 -
The all too common passwords stored in clear text. When brought up with the developer they couldn't see the problem.
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I think I can, I think I can, I think I can Ahh darn missing semi colon... I think I can I think I can!!
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One of the more memorable friends through coding is a guy I met at 9am at what had to be an early lecture with 150+ students. We were both following it as part of a minor but the only ones there: we apparently didn't get the message that it was cancelled because we were no majors...
We decided to just work on the group assignment because why not and became friends.
Little did we know that we had already met dozens of times (but never really talked) the two years before as we are both members of the same students association, only strengthening the bond!
Sometimes not receiving a notice of cancellation is not that bad... -
You think you know when you learn, are more sure when you can write, even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program.
-Alan Perlis -
Anybody knows of any openings (remote /South Florida) for a competent junior full stack web/js dev? Im black AND international, so if you're looking for some 'diversity in the workplace', I'm your man
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!Rant
Hey guys, who's using those new Intel U series processors? What are your thoughts on them? What's kind of OS you use and work you do with them? Are they reliable when using docker or VMS?
I'm asking cuz most reviews show that they are really bad compared to even older processors. I know that they are only dual core and use less power, but are they reliable for dev jobs?1 -
If you come to me asking for help about why my tools aren't working or other tech support questions I will immediately assume whatever info you tell me is wrong.
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Three days out from a field trial, I receive a bug report and change request. A month ago I was told that testing had been completed and the feature set signed off.
Not only have all our manufacturers received their hardware images, not only have they fulfilled our orders but all units have been delivered to our customers!!
After pointing all of this out I hear that wonderful phrase all Devs know and love, "well how hard can it be?"
"Well how hard can it be to flash all of the hardware?"
That has been delivered to all of our customers?
In every state?
All over the whole country?
Just No!2 -
!rant
Just did some really satisfying refactoring. Much happier with my work now. Its a little cli app to poll M-bus devices and write the data to file if the user wants. Can scan the whole range, search for specific devices and VIFE codes, parse an input file for lots of the previous data and one or two other things.
How's everyone's else's weekend? -
A question for all of you. What is the best way in CS to earn enough money for a comfortable life standard and where can people go for this?3
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Would anyone know how to go about getting a job in Japan? Developer or sys admin anything really that's livable1
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A guy asked for retweet so that he can get free chicken nuggets for a year. Can I ask upvotes so that I can get free swag ???2
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I got 2 PS3 Move sticks (the kind with the ball, usable for VR) for $5 from a local pawn that always low-prices tech (I also got one of the thumbstick ones without the ball, and a Wiimote as well, both bundled with) and decided to try and set up PSMoveService on my PC. Half my mobo and the USB Bluetooth stick I've had for like 5 years just failed the smoke test. The USB controller on my mobo released the mysterious blue death smoke (the only other interface I have is ONE PS/2 port) and the Bluetooth stick caught on ACTUAL FUCKING FIRE. The PS Move controllers have been shorted out in the chaos, and my keyboard's also been shorted out.
Fuck.
My.
Life.
I need a new mobo ($100-$400), 2 new PSMove sticks ($100+ on eBay) and a new Bluetooth stick (the one I had was actually really cool, but I can get a new good one for $50, just not THAT one)
That's a $250 bill at the *very* least. -
I don't know how much use others get out of the zoom functionality in browsers.
normally i have several different browsers open with multiple windows on a single monitor with half of them zoomed to 50% so I can fit more and still see everything at once without juggling whats on top or switching desktops. -
!Dev, !Rant, but Design!
Young me was a very productive and artistic, I guess! I just found a drawing I made couple years ago using Illustrator. I think I was just starting to learn it by that time. Anyways, I just want to share it with you guys lol
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Lockdown has got me reading a lot of books. Books about business or startups are a lot faster for me to read. It’s like reading a story book and I’m done in a week. But reading technical books (like I’m currently reading SICP aka wizard book) is a lot more heavy duty mental work. Y’all got any pointers for me about this?2
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