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"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"
"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."8 -
"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*
me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week8 -
They asked for a web developer
Interviewer : can you fix this printer ?
Me: no
Interviewer : You're not for this job
Me: thanks God I'm not for that job1 -
*can't figure out why code doesn't work for hours*
ugh fuck this.
*angrily leaves for bathroom break*
*come running back*
I KNOW HOW TO FIX IT!!!!6 -
Reading through legacy code, only to discover the comment:
/*
* to the poor guy who has to fix this
* ...
* I'm sorry
*/3 -
Start coding for work this morning, immediately notice a ui bug, ugh. Want to get cracking with another bug I'm supposed to fix.
Fix the bug, and it incidentally fixes the other bug. Two in one.
*Suspicious*4 -
Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"
Me: "What's wrong?"
S: *explains the issue
Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results
S: *gives me the look
M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"18 -
This one colleague at my work.
I'm pretty new to a lot stuff and I stress out about some stuff a lot more than the other guys, mostly because I'm scared I might not be able to fix it.
But whenever that happens, I explain this guy what's going on and then, while making jokes, talking in a very calming way, he always knows to fix it in no time!
For everyone who does this, thanks for being there for the little/new guys :)1 -
This is the kind of comments that helps you to smile while you're getting a headache trying to fix your bugs :D
2 -
Boss: you must fix this bug asap
Dev: I need more time for a proper fix so I will just hack a workaround
Boss: yeah, whatever. You can find a proper fix after the release.
... this happend several years ago and the workaround is still in place...8 -
Once browsing through Google play store under what's new area of an app i found this:
*Removed bugs
*Added bugs to fix later6 -
Yes, of course! How did I ever expect this to work? I was really stupid not to see this. THIS was the logic error! Of course this couldn't possibly have worked. This will surely fix it.
.
.
.
*Still not working*1 -
*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*
Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?
Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine
Me: But how does it work?
Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...
Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?
*Silence*
Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.7 -
The newest Android version is used by 1.1% of users... and they are already releasing a newer version.
Will Google ever find a way to fix this? It's fucking pathetic.
23 -
If I tell normal people I'm a computer programmer, I always get asked to fix something hardware related.
If I tell normal people I'm a software engineer, I get a "that's awesome" and don't get asked to fix anything. I'm sticking with this option.3 -
Person: You're good with computers right?
Me: Yes.
P: My computer won't boot after I unplugged it while trying to move it, how do I fix it?
M: I don't know
P: I thought you were good with computers
M: I am. Can't troubleshoot a computer with that little of info.
P: If I bring it to you will you fix it for me?
M: No.
P: What if burritos are involved?
M: I would consider it
This. This is how conversations should go when somebody asks us to fix their computer.8 -
* me listening to something while coding
* something goes wrong, trying to fix it..
Takes time and no solution.
- ok this is serious *put headphones down*4 -
People on github opening issues saying shit like "aye, your extension crashes. Please fix or I'll uninstall. Thanks.". How am I supposed to fix an error I know nothing about? Error message? Extension list? Stack trace? Steps to reproduce? Nope. Nothing.
Don't be like this, please.5 -
Me: ooh my eyes hearts, I have to sleep now, I fix this tomorrow morning.
(go to sleep)
Inner Me: hey
Me: ...
Inner Me: pisst! wake up
Me: what?? leave me alone I'm tired
Inner Me: remember that issue you had?
Me: yes?
Inner Me: this is how you can solve it
Me: great thanks, I'll fix it later
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now
Me: I'm tired, I'll fix it first thing in the morning
Inner Me: no no you'll forgot it
Me: no I won't, let me sleep
Inner Me: no no you'll forget and I won't tell you again
Me: look I write it down in my phone now leave me alone
Inner Me: no no you have to fix it now.
Me: *crying* for God sake...
(gets out of bed and try to turn on PC and it's not starting, realizing that the power is out)
Me: you happy now, I fix it tomorrow.
Inner Me: no no stay awake till power is back on.
Me: SHUT THE FICN ON PICK OF CRAPE. Did SHDUHDBD DBDJDB3 -
Saw this from a friend of a friend of a friend and made my own meme.
2 unit tests 0 integration tests. Hacky code to fix it.
3 -
Client: Google analytics is saying our bounce rate is 86%, Could you fix what you did to improve this?
It's a single page website -.-4 -
Why do you wake up tired?? Isn't that what you go to bed to fix?! What the fuck kind of bullshit is this?!13
-
If I flag a bug on your PR don’t fucking do this:
if (bugOccurs()) handleBug()
Fix what is causing the bug, don’t bandaid it.
Manager: wElL yOu NeEd To ExPlAiN tO tHeM eXaCtLy HoW tO fIx It, hOw ArE tHeY sUpPoSeD tO kNoW?!
Dev: …1 -
The software development process
i can’t fix this
*crisis of confidence*
*questions career*
*questions life*
oh it was a typo, cool2 -
Team leader: hey why this bug is taking too much time? You could fix it hours ago let me try to fix it. I really fuckin hate juniors ...
*Hours later*
Me: could you fix it ?
Team leader: ....
*Couple of years later*
Me: ah i see it's not an easy but could you find any solution bro?
Team leader: no it's not a straight forward bug. You are right am sorry i shouldn't prejudge5 -
Oh right! This function has only 1 line, this will be easy to fix.
Wait...
What!?
It's a mile long!5 -
Was trying to fix my old MacBook Pro (From about 2011, it's served me well, and I ain't letting it die!)
Tried to do an internet recovery, and learned that Mac's do indeed have a BSOD... this is going to be fun to fix.
7 -
I HATE when a request for a change or a new feature comes like a bug feedback, as if it's your fault
"I clicked this, but this behavior that we didn't agree on didn't happen!! Fix it!"
😡4 -
- Let's use jquery to fix this
- No
- But it will work just fine
- I'd rather re-write the code and not use jquery in an angular project
- ...
- NO!10 -
My head hurt today when I heard this: "We could not reproduce the problem but we put in a fix and are pretty sure that it will fix the problem."1
-
my boss: this fucking thing doesn't get done and everyone is coming after me about it
me, who doesn't have the access required to fix that for him:
4 -
Dad : My WhatsApp has an issue and you're a software engineer. Fix it
Me : Looks like a Android bug...can't do anything.
Dad : Come with me, this guy at the shop around the corner who does prepaid talk time recharge will fix it... learn from him
Me : facepalm , gotta kill that guy1 -
I write blocks of code like this:
If(condition){
code
}
I'm trying to fix a bug and the previous dev is doing it like this:
If(condition)
{
code
}
Does anyone know any good nerve calming pill ? 😜19 -
I had a dream last night about how to fix a bug in my code.
I couldn't sleep the rest of the night because I was too excited about fixing it.
Plus side: the fix worked this morning.
Down side: ive drank so much coffee I can smell color5 -
How I feel when my family says "Sure you can fix the TV! if you can make a video game, this shouldn't be a problem."
1 -
---- BEGIN RANT ----
Microsoft Exchange
---- END RANT ----
I have to fix this fucking fucked up thing again. Fuck.
The dude who wanted to use it does not have the skills to fix it. Fuck off. This bullshit is going to get migrated asap17 -
PM: Can you fix this issue with the file upload?
me: Sure, give me the file that's having the issue so I can figure out why that specific one isn't working.
PM: Oh... it wasn't working so I deleted it.
Me: OK, are there any other files that cause this error.
PM: No... it was a single case. You can fix it anyway, right?3 -
The software development process.
I can't fix this.
*Crisis of confidence*
*Questions career*
*Questions life*
Oh it was a typo, cool.2 -
... I Help a junior out by creating a fix for an issue they are having, later this very day he starts to share this fix with everyone. People are singing his praises what a clever junior. I'm just there in the corner of the room left like wtf just happened.2
-
Me : I found this code issue, I think we need to fix it
PO: does it affect the user?
Me: not really but we can make it better
PO: do you have a defect for it in *insert issue tracker here*
Me: no, I just noticed it
PO: is there an IM ticket for it?
Me: I don't think so
PO: is this issue already in production?
Me: possibly. Yes. That's why I was wondering if we should fix it.
PO: okay then we will fix it in the 3rd release from now if you still remember it by then.5 -
Please fix this @dfox :<
When opening devRant after having my phone locked for awhile, the app freezes for 30-180 sec. It usually recovers, but not always. It's painful 🙁
17 -
Mom: My printer won't start. Can you FIX it?
Me: Mom, I am a coder, I don't know jack about hardware.
A week later....
Mom: My printer won't start. Can you FIX it?
Me: This question is marked as duplicate and closed as off-topic. 🤖
Hangs up.7 -
Oh man... I fucked up. I spent almost 36-40 hours in 3 days trying to fix a bug, that was quite literally a single, two word fix.
Change `Key` to `Value.State`
I burned that time into the weekend. I'm both satisfied and dissatisfied with this decision.11 -
I often get this question:
"I have this old computer. Can you fix it?"
My brother is a helicopter pilot, and he will probably never get this question:
"I have this old helicopter, that is literally falling apart. Will you fly it for me?"8 -
After many attempts to fix this, hope this will be the last one. I really hate these apple chargers.
15 -
Just wanted to say my co-worker Jason is a bitch, thanks for handing me broken projects to fix. He's always on this so I hope he sees this 🙃8
-
I'm a programmer, but I won't fix your computer! This would be like asking a musician to fix your radio.2
-
Stacktraces with zero useful information.
Two full days of breakpoint stepping and framework spelunking.
"bifurcated" object creation.
Delegatd everything.
Inheritence hell fucking everywhere.
Models with both `has_one :x` AND `has_many :x`!?
Automatically-created objects when reading from magic virtual columns!?
What the fuck is this fucking four-dimensional spaghetti monstrosity and just how many angel puppies did I torture and maim in a previous life to deserve this nightmare?
And all of this to fix 12 fucking specs, out of the 1,780 this fucking ticket requires me to break and fix. FML5 -
Shit you can apply this to coding too.
"When you fix a bug in your code"
Red: Actually does what you want
Blue: Completely fucks your entire program up.
10 -
when you know the code is inefficient but they wanted it fast so you say "fuck it, I'll fix this later", but you never do...3
-
No, I'm not going to approve your one-line fix. It will introduce more problems in the future. Fix it the way we agreed on this morning!2
-
gotta love them comments:
#TODO: move this,
#TODO: deprecated,
#TODO: fix this,
#TODO: DON'T DO THIS,
#TODO: refactor,
#TODO: CHANGE THIS
I shit you not6 -
Found this in a code review today.
Technically, I guess, that is one way to fix a divide by zero error.
14 -
Monday morning: The last straw.
After talking about in a previous rant about how my client wants to fix bugs that keeps popping out after bug fix.
Today I discovered, that all C-levels, worked all Saturday to "fix my code" because it "didn't work" and we "needed bug fixes not pretty things".
The app version I was working on for the last week is gone. Without mentioning that their "CTO" wrote a fucking crappy code to disable features that I added, breaking the build step.
This shit is enough for me, I'm done!3 -
Error, coffee, fix, bug, coffee, fix, 1am!
Time for bed, last minute compile..
Error.
Bugger this, I'm going to be a dam hooker!
7 -
Maybe not worst, but most frustrating. One of the systems I helped maintain at my first job had a few different bugs that caused bad data in the database. The "solution" to the problem was to write SQL queries to directly fix the production data. This would take one member of our team (it rotated weekly) about an hour every day to fix because there were literally dozens of these errors.
All the devs knew that we could identify the root cause and fix it in, probably, 3-4 days tops. Management would never approve the time because it would take longer to fix the root cause than it took to fix the data.
I worked at that company for 7 years. The bug was there when I came on, and it was there when I left.2 -
I started interning at a non IT Company, first thing I did was fix the printer 😂
I guess this is our destiny2 -
Sometimes hardest part of being dev is staying calm and trying to explain someone why something is a BAD idea, than see being ignored and just silently prepare fix so when shit goes south you can quick fix shit the other dude/dudette fucked up regardless of number of warnings.
Sigh, another dumpsterfire of this variety incoming.5 -
Just declined a small internship to work at NASA because I feel like I’m too introverted and incapable of doing it (knowledge wise).
It was a unexpected offer in person and I wasn’t prepared for it, so instead of saying “I’ll let you know” I outright declined it.
Feeling extraordinarily defeated over my answer. Any hope of recovering from the situation? It might seem like a simple task to call the guy and let him know I changed my mind, but the thought of doing so seems extremely scary for me.
As a side note, he is a family “friend” and a customer of the business I currently work at (where he offered it to me) (unrelated field of work)11 -
I put this picture as my whatsapp profile picture to stop the countless amount of how do I fix this device questions.
Who else here gets irritated when family and friends asks you to fix their computer or printer or ask you what device they should buy
2 -
tl;dr - My company makes me pass around code over email. Is this normal?
How we fix bugs at my company.
1. Simulate bug in dev env (ok, cool)
2. Get the required code from svn and make changes locally (so far, so good)
3. Deploy changes in dev env and test (yeah!)
4. Take screenshots of fix in action along with the files you've changed and mail it to the respective leads (really? send code via mail?)
5. Keep changing your fix based on feedback and keep repeating above steps (what!)
6. Once approval mail comes, check-in your code in the svn branch for deployment and testing in the test env (QA team)
My question to you fine folks is, is this normal? Is this how most companies work? Passing around code over e-mail? Where the different versions of your fix are just attachments in emails. Or have I committed a sin by being a part of this heinous act?9 -
Showed my coworker this. He sat there staring in agony and groaning.
Coworker: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
Me: "Is your coworker broken? Fix them in just three easy steps!"
-
Reviewing code in a project, found this one:
# Todo: Fix horrible parent member check. People may have been killed for better code
-- horrible code here -- -
I'm the happiest person alive!! Finally!! Fvck this bug! Everytime I fix a bug it turns out creating another bug itself -_-5
-
Dear God please if you help me fix this merge conflict, I'll be a better person.....please
......please 😭8 -
This is how I figured out I figured out how to fix my proxy settings.
Can not Netflix and chill (work) anymore.
-
The updating process on my Arch installation went banana's... Ugh... I wanted to do some coding and not fix this bullshit :(
9 -
Me: This is a good article about a CSS problem I always have and can never remember how to fix. Imma bookmark that.
Me, the next time I have that problem: Dang. Why doesn't this work. Better Google it.3 -
It's 0416... Too damn early to fix broken things. This particular team needs to fix their stuff for good, not keep having us out bandaids on their problems2
-
"This needs to go into production NOW"
Five hours later...
"That fix is on production now"
"Thanks, did you fix that other bug on production? We need it fixed now" -
*My first internship*
Me: Hey, I'm unable to fix this issue with the interface.
Tech Lead: *Goes on giving me a lecture from the very basics* So, An Interface has the method declaration but not the.....
Me inside: I FUCKING KNOW WHAT AN INTERFACE IS JUST TELL ME HOW DO I FIX THIS FUCKING ISSUE.
Me outside: Right!6 -
"'This is just a temporary fix, I'll refactor it into something great and modular later" thought I as I continued to sin for the umpteenth time.
-
Today I found a critical bug to our software and wrote a fix and tested it locally.
Common sense would dictate that especially when it is critical you test said fix on a real release and not with a debugger attached and running onna different device altogether.
I was denied this request because the afflicted machines engineer would not be able to finish the machine before the factory acceptence test.
I stood there with glassed over eyes for a second and then to no avail tried to explain that without this fix he wouldnt even pass the internal acceptance test......12 -
Literally the first rant I made when I joined devRant was about this very piece of advice.
Me: "The build in testing is broken, this is how we fix it"
PM: "They haven't noticed yet, work on the feature request"
https://devrant.io/rants/225727/...2 -
A colleague had to show up for a demo in 10 minutes, and urgently needed to fix some CSS.
I told her the right way would take more than 10 minutes. The quick and dirty way was to add an `!important`.
I made her write a comment:
`// TODO: Fix this hack made for the demo dated blah blah`4 -
Database queries are slow.... quick add more indexes.
Tomorrow: Hey, why are database writes slow?
Rise. Lather. Repeat next week. 😡 Indexes can’t fix this spaghetti SQL!1 -
Why can't I ever install a distro in one try..?
☹️
Not sure how to fix this one.. 😐
..
I refuse to go back to Windows..3 -
I told my lead, "I am creating a new Algorithm" instead of "I am trying to fix this", and instantly I am a programming wizard :D :D :D6
-
Linux gurus: any idea how to fix this? All images with gradients look like this. Latest nvidia driver installed by Mint 18.1.
I tried to google it, but I found nothing.
23 -
Goes back to high school.....
Me: This laptop is having issues logging into the network. I have tried restarting as well as restarting the WiFi. You probally should submit a ticket so IT knows it is broken.
Teacher: They would not fix it anyway.
Me: *facepalm*
TL;DR: Teacher thinks that telling IT to fix a computer would result in nothing happening.1 -
WHY DOES GOOGLE CHROME CACHE THIS SHIT AND WON'T LOAD IT AGAIN. I THOUGHT I DIDN'T FIX THE BUG BUT GOOGLE CHROME IS THE BUG. THIS FLYING FUCK9
-
After wasting 30 minutes on slack, Asked a dev where he was, so I could go to his fucking seat to help him fix his issue.
Dude sent me his pwd from shell.
Idk what's the worst part, it's not my job to help him fix issues and I'm trying anyway, or that this guy is the topper from my class in college...3 -
Gah! Person in work has an issue I suggest a fix and even give them the bleeding code. For them just to say it won't work due to x y and z, I know it will work heck I use this 'fix'. Then later someone who has been there longer gives them the same fix and they are suddenly all appreciative. Ffs wouldn't be so annoyed if this was the first time this has happened.1
-
When I get annoyed enough to take matters into my own hands... (I've been asking them to fix this for like 2 years already)
1 -
So my boss started to use https://toggl.com and now every single clients calling must be tracked by our timer.
This specific time I forgot to activate it as he called, but by the time I got to start the timer the fix was already finished...
IDK if I'm too fast or the client to stupid to fix his shit by himself6 -
So my old school left this like this for a year or two now. Should I tell them that it's not gonna fix by itself magically?
6 -
My menu bar in MacOS was cramped, looked online and found out that an app can fix it.
Holy shit. Does everything on mac cost this much?
10 -
Fix this:
AAABBABBBAABBAB BAABB AABABABBBABAAABAABBAAABAABAABB BAABBAABBBAAAAABAABB BBAAAABBBABABAA BAAABAABAA AAAAABABBAAABAABAABAABBBAABBAAAABAA
----------------------
Good luck! Post your answer in the comments.7 -
Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.
Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .
Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬7 -
soo this happened...
Remember my rant about the ubuntu installing grub on the SSD? I tried to fix it with bootsect... Neither OS boots anymore...6 -
You see this fucker? Those are packets sent to Apple, what are those packets? The update of an app I am working on.
Makes me wonder why the fuck does upload disconnect out of a sudden when there is not a single issue in the network I'm connected to!
Apple get your shit together cuz an update process takes more time than developing the damn app!
2 -
Found this comment in a class I visited today after a few months of writing it.
//todo: Fix this fucking POS hack
I have no idea what POS refers to anymore. FML.4 -
The fact that there's only two characters between "run this job every 10 minutes" and "run this job every hour on the tenth minute" was the fix for the particular problem i just spent 5 hours on :facepalm:8
-
SonarQube: You forgot to remove this one 'import' statement
Also SonarQube: This will take you at least 5 years to fix -
This temporary hack will just temporarily fix this problem. We will come back and actually fix the problem later.
We never come back to fix it later. This shitty hack I made in less than a day that fixed the problem for the day "fixed" the problem for the next year.
Lesson learned that temporary structures and side projects will be there forever. Make them right the first time.1 -
Lets fix this bug in production on a Friday afternoon. (did that three times on the same project). Never went wrong :)3
-
Hi everyone.
I wish you all a 2017 full of code, of problems to fix, of oportunities to learn new languages and above all full of bugs to fix because from this, is from wherr we learn the most. -
Not sure if this should be a proper rant about the reasons behind this, or a simple 'so much win' situation..
CTO asked how I'm doing with task xy.. my answer: mostly should be fixed, but I'm trying to figure out this zz thing.. It is so fucked up, I can't make sense of it.. before I could really finish the sentence CTO was like: shut up, don't tell me about it, we know, just please fix it..can you fix it? Please say yes..and don't talk about this anymore.. 😂😂😂6 -
Fuck! This is why I can't diet.
I can't get shit done, because I keep getting more things to fix. And I'm not talking everyday fixes, this is just plain retarded.
The asshole that my client hired thinks he's a dev. Takes projects that are working and makes small changes. Simply for him to say "I took this project and updated it for our needs."
Then when that shit eventually starts failing, I'm expected to fix it. It's not even that it takes me a long time to fix it. It's just that I'm looking at this thinking "Why are you not working?" Only to later find that, of course, it's been modified. By. Mr. Fucking. Dumbass.
Fuck!4 -
Huh? GitHub just added an empty column to my project with an empty item I can't remove, reloading doesn't fix it.
( ་ − ་ ) 'You can't see this item'
6 -
Took an hour to fix color of scroll bar.
The issue I fixed from this "#injectLocation ::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb" to this "#injectLocation::-webkit-scrollbar-thumb"2 -
This is just a temporary workaround. I will come back to this and fix this later. NEVER HAPPENS :)3
-
The moment you sit down to try to fix a bug and you just stare and the screen for an hour not understanding how this even happened1
-
Pic without code as my light bulb has burned and I will not be able to fix that this week.
But I can update the picture later.
1 -
I don't scream because my teams are in a different country and we communicate by IM and email.
I do write long ranting/passive-aggressive emails or type really quick replies when I'm pissed though. .
An example of the latter:
Boss: I need you to make a "quick" fix...
Me: hmm ok sounds like we should implement it like ...
Boss: I was thinking something like this... since it's a temp fix
Need: (typing faster) why is it a temp fix... why not builds it properly so it can be reused
Boss: but that takes time, this is quicker
Me: it's bad design because ... (Typing so fast I'm making typos)... Anyway I can do it. This is better...
Boss: ... ok fine... if you can finish it before deadline6 -
Has someone an idea why KDE Neon has this buggy text rendering and how to fix it? Google is not my friend with this problem.. It's often the text which is buggy but sometimes everything else is buggy too..
8 -
I like to live on the edge ;)
But seriously, i should fix this. The load is usually around 200 - 5k queries / s
3 -
But Why ??
Saw this I a project that my company wanted me to fix and maintain. There are more hilarious things like this. (I will keep you updated)
and I am finding things like this in the code.
2 -
I hate it when a family member ask me to fix something and I fold and try and fix it. I start to troubleshoot and they see what I'm doing and say "oh I thought you knew how to fix it, NVM I can do it." Like wtf this is how u fix stuff2
-
A colleague is walking me trough some of the source code because we try to fix an issue.
colleague: Oh we don't use this anymore
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: This part we should refactor someday
Me: ...
LATER
colleague: Oh I think this is old code and does not exist anymore.
Me: .. .. ...
Great Colleague BTW :)
PS: fix will be posted Later.3 -
Is anyone able to help me fix a bug?
The wakeup function keeps throwing an error and reverting back to sleep mode, unless there is an alarm nearby. Does anyone know the fix to this?2 -
Last year i had to resolve a really annoying bug, and figuring out how to fix that was a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS.
Now i have to make some adjustment to that fix, and the only comment on that piece of code is: "this is a huge mess, good luck if you need to modify something".
FUCK YOU MYSELF FROM THE PAST3 -
Me:how about this one ui component boss. I think we must fix it.
Boss:just drop it out, do another job. wait customer to complain, after we got one complain then you fix that.6 -
It's always fucking file encodings breaking these stupid fucking legacy projects. FUCK
Fuck this I'm going to bed. I'll fix it in the morning it's a little past midnight13 -
I was finally able to fix this other persons code when I accepted the fact that they don’t know what the fuck they’re doing1
-
Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"
Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."
Customer to boss: <repeat above>
Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"
FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!
I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.2 -
Well, I'm no professional developer, still at school, but I thought about this, regarding convincing PMs of you writing permanent fix instead of a temporary workaround: Just tell them that this one particular issue can't have a hotfix, and that you need time to fix it.6
-
*Coding on a website*
Wow this image is huge! Should I give it to my Graphics Designer? Nah I can fix this.
*Opening Gimp*
2 min later....
Image completely destroyed, fml!3 -
This moment when you worked 500h on a awesome class that will fix thousands of your problems.
And suddenly you find out that Qt already offers a class like that :c2 -
Why in the fuck is it so hard to see buttons when kb selecting with tab in a browser? It's like:
"Tab....Tab.....Tab Tab Tab... oops, went too far,
Shift + Tab, Shift + Tab.... fuck!, too far left.. wait, is that button actually highlighted, oh it is too, wtf."
It's 2019, why is this still a thing?8 -
Sysadmin and an ex-employee couldn't fix an issue with an application for many months even with vendor's instructions.
Today the job is passed to me and I follow instructions exactly and resolve the issue.
The other two guys must have thought 'we don't need someone else's documentation, we can fix it ourselves'
This is not the first time something like this has happened. I guess some things just need a fresh perspective. -
grandparents: "why can't you fix our tv? I thought you did this kind of tech stuff for a living!?"
me: "no, I build websites"
grandparents: "...."
me: "I make the internet on computers?"
grandparents: "ohhh...so could you fix our speakers? they have the blue tooth, which has the Internet, right?"
me: /facepalm2 -
* Customer reports bug.
* I fix the bug.
* This highlights another issue that I haven't got enough resources to fix.
* I revert the fix.
* <insert hacky workaround here>
We have code that invokes undefined behaviour (freeing memory twice), but somehow people have managed to build around it and now it depends upon it to work.
FML. -
Ok guys just curious what time do you usually sleep and wake up? I usually sleep around 11pm or 12am and wake up 5:30am. I need to fix this5
-
I've looked at code I've writte and on average I fix one bug (minor) every 10-20 lines.
Is this normal, subpar, or good for a beginner?8 -
Helped an elderly neighbour to fix his landline connection, since it broke down.
Somewhat an emergency, cause he don't have a mobile phone.
It seems, this got around and another neighbour asked if I could plug in his new printer and install the drivers.
Gosh, RTFM and don't buy hardware you can't handle.
No, I won't fix your computer. -
implementing an email verification .. it shows differently in different email .. If I fix something for yahoomail .. it shows broken in gmail .. just fedup of this .. my whole day has been wasted for this shit today .. 😑😑7
-
"Can't connect to the Internet? Run this to fix it! `wget internet/path/fix.sh`" ...thank you, random forum post.4
-
"Programmers Know Everything"
Im writing this as myself cause, well this tends to happen to me alot!
When ever a friend or a friend of a friend has an issue with a website or just their computer they run to me, which is all fine but if I say "I dunno? I never heard of this issue so I do not know how to fix the problem."
Their response is normal "But dont you do websites? Surely you know how to fix a virus or bluescreens ?? "3 -
One of the barriers to professional software development is OCD.
Is this code right? No, fix. Wait, no, still not right.
Did I just commit this? Check again.. did jira reload properly? Wait, checking again, did I commit this? Checking. Did I commit this? Checking. Is my mind fooling me about committing this? Checking.
while(true){
goCrazy();
}2 -
I just fixed a bug I've been trying to fix for over 10 hours. "Email not sending in laravel notifications but sending with Mail::send". How did I fix it?
Changed "email_address" to "email" because that's what the framework was expecting.
How do I explain this to my client? 😂😂3 -
Does anyone know how to fix this on a laptop screen?
I think it's a pixel problem but I'm not sure.
10 -
Sorry I can not fix your fucking 404 error, this problem is specific to you not site wide call the fucking help desk!1
-
Sure, ignore my request for a backend issue fix ... In return I'll ignore the deadline for this project, DEAL?????1
-
Why you literally took fucking half hour to fix this shit, I’m telling you, there is only a naming problem there, nothing else!
And his title is
“SeNiOr FrOnT-eNd DeVeLoPeR”
4 -
Today:
Well, this data has been wrong since ... uh forever....
Well, how bad can it be, the company is still afloat and nobody has complained?
*fix*
*fix*
*fix*
-creeps away slowly-
2 -
Here, in place I live, almost everyone use windows and I think people don't even know any other OS exists. Whenever anyone have problem in they computer and ask me to fix it, some other guy approaches and says "Let me fix it, he has no idea about computers!" This pisses me off a little bit!6
-
11 pm: Me: I'm going to go to bed after I fix this bug!
3 am: *Pulling my hair out trying to fix the bug*
Me: HOW IS IT 3 AM ALREADY!1 -
Anyone else noticed this on Chrome mobile? If you stay still long enough on a website and try to scroll up, you will refresh instead.
Maybe this is a dirty fix to some security issue?
10 -
Just lost two clients who were on retainer. Startup suddenly with cash flow problems.
I'm not sure what to do to fix this.
☹️2 -
I swear this is the PM's first time experiencing a scenario where you fix a bug and two more pop up.
"ThIs ShOuLd Be SuPeR sImPlE, gUyS" -
So I'm at this clinic deploying this top notch clinical cutting edge health care system we worked on for 3 months with mission impossible team...
A nurse came to me:
"You must be the IT guy, can you fix my printer ?"
What would you say guys in this scenario ?3 -
So I went to a car repair center and asked if they could fix my bike. They said they could but they won't. This is outrageous, obviously a bike is less complicated than a car and they can actually fix it, they just won't because it's "not their job". Unbelievable!
//This didn't really happen of course
//people don't think this is acceptable, but if I won't fix their laptop they are surprised and act the same way. I study ICT (embedded software engineering and cyber security, but they don't understand that so ICT it is) so I HAVE to fix their laptop....
//Non-techies should really learn that just because we can do something, we don't have to do what they ask of us11 -
HipChat, this is your last chance to fix the connectivity issues with the Windows client.
I created a Slack account on Friday...
7 -
"So... you know SQL? Great!! Here, I have this project for you to fix a few things."
"What is it?", you ask... SSIS packages and stuff!
Where do I start??!! -
Sitting on a hot chair in this hot weather working on a hot laptop to fix some ..... not very hot code.1
-
Inspired by this rant https://www.devrant.io/rants/270052 , I made this slap-dash dark theme for devRant: https://gist.github.com/paulera/...
Requires TamperMonkey / GreaseMonkey
I did notice the typo in that post, too late to fix tho :/
7 -
Not sure if i actually managed to fix it or fuckitup/obfuscate it even more, so people will still be debugging this shit in 20+ years.. 🤔1
-
So my day's going pretty well, successfully managed to create a pull request for broken code that breaks more code and run into errors trying to fix it, then spill tea all over my desk/self spazzing trying to fix one child problem like 3 levels deep
Pretty sure I'm the office dunce at this point1 -
Software development process:
0. I can't fix this
1. Crisis of confidence
2. Questions career
3. Questions life
4. Oh it was a typo, cool -
This code is so horrible I'm too scared to even fix bugs.
No I did not write this code originally.1 -
"Hey, can you check this ticket, and fix a bug on a Drupal module written 2 years ago, making you rewrite almost everything, please ? You have 30mn"
-
I contimnue to just hate javascript, especially react. just fucking go die. You can't fix a shit sandwich by wrapping it in fucking typescript. Gah, fucking hate this crap.1
-
Why this happen the div's margin inside a div is overflow i read about it and i guess it margin collapse something like that ...How do i fix it??
3 -
Working on a platform with very few users and developers kinda sucks. There is only like 5 forums about this platform and it has less than one than a 1000 threads. Stack overflow has nothing on it so that sucks. I am trying to fix this weird bug and I cannot find anything to fix it. Guess I will call it a feature.1
-
Comments throughout code with things like "changed to fix bug #". And commented out code all over.
We have source control, why the hell are you doing this? -
So some other dev in team changed something, and it broke the tests that I wrote. Ideally the dev should be responsible for fixing the tests too when I communicated this in the team channel my manager pinged me and asked me to fix it urgently. I'm already on PIP and wth is this? am I suppose to fix these tests too?6
-
This is the first social media I actually like. Came from codingconfessional because there's way less cancer here. Y'all rock.
I left a '# fix this thing here' in production code :/ I make myself feel better by pretending it's a hashtag.2 -
we need you to fix this bug that cannot be reproduced
ugh so now i have to go figure out how to reproduce it? i dont think this shit is even priority4 -
6 hours at work to find out I needed to supply TaskCreationOptions.LongRunning to one method to fix this error.
As Kenan and Kel would say: WHYYYYYYYY -
Rust lifetimes are taking my only lifetime.
I'm too tired to fix this and probably too old for this stuff.1 -
PagerDuty: "This shit's so slow your servers are timing out"
Dev Fix: "Let's add another layer of caching before the Redis cache!" 🤦♂️4 -
This code is huge ! THAT MEANS IT HAS HUGE BUGS !
FIX AND PATCH !
FIX AND PATCH YOUR BUGS !
Basically the reason I want to work on a big codebase one day is to be able to scream that
Winks if you get the reference (just so you know, I didn't read it fully)2 -
only programmers can tell what this feels like sometimes it not funny expecially when trying to fix a bug.
4 -
"You are best suited to fix this" is such a big cop-out in the history of cop-outs.
Grow a pair first.1 -
When you are sitting there for 5 hours just looking for those stupid lines:
> (* TODO: fix this, fix that *) -
Me: hey, I noticed we are doing this weird stuff in 'platform A' can we file a story to fix this.
Dev: It must be legacy code or library implementation before my time. By the way it's the same in platform B.
Me: yeah, we will need to fix that too.
Dev: tell you what. For now let's keep our platforms uniform we will fix it when platform B is fixed.
Welcome everyone... to the new chicken egg problem. Where even bugs are needed to be uniform across platforms.1 -
Stuck here with PHP doing his PHPices and just get to think about something really important... If two cats starts to fight is this a CATastrophe? Ok, better fix this amazing SQL exception.
-
Does anyone has the fix for GandCrab ransomware 5.0.4, but this time its extension is HRTSVCT, so far I got nothing.1
-
How you fix a noisy ultrabook?
My ears are bleeding now because of this fucker's unstoppable fan.13 -
A client just replied to a two month old email telling him that the next release will contain a fix for a bug asking whether this release will fix that bug... Mkay then...
-
I have one SSD for Windows and one HDD for Data. After I install Windows 10 Anniversary from iso, I get this message when access HDD drive. How to fix this!
15 -
I'm starting to grow fucking tired to fix bugs. I know this is a part of the development process, but shit, I've been doing this for two whole months now
-
Happy New year to all my fellow devs. I hope that this year brings you easy to fix bugs and no harsh deadlines
-
My fingers travel a little bit too much on the keyboard.
I think I may get an Ergodox-ez and fix this by force!1 -
Client: bug: downloading invoice pdf filename is F0000%20client%20project.pdf, fix this!
Dev: Safari browser has this problem since 2014, options are installing chrome on mac or saving file as F0000_client_project.pdf
Client: no, fix this!
Dev: 😫4 -
- "the workflow inbox is broke.."
- "INBOX MY ASS. ask the asshole who vomit this to fix it!"
me dealing with an inbox made of two columns with imagenry relationships. -
don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
Software development process
0:I can't fix this
1:Crisis of confidence
2:Questions career
3:Questions life
4:Oh fuck it was a typo ,chill :3 -
You're bugging me. I'd like to open an issue and fix -you- this. If you need help debugging feel free to ask, reflection might help.1
-
most satisfying bug fix = getting Android MediaPlayer to PAUSE AUDIO PLAYBACK WHEN IM NOT INSIDE THE ACTIVITY
gosh how many of you here have experienced this before1 -
My build is failing on the CI server
you are the DevOps engineer please fix it
this is not how this works, this is not how any of this works -
Pressing the provisioning profiles "fix this issue" button in Xcode... And getting roasted for being a noob by the entire office.1
-
Junior Colleague: can you help me fix this small issue in my code? I believe it's located in this file...
Me: *spends half an hour deleting console.log, inline comments and blank lines*7 -
In the spirit of this https://m.youtube.com/watch/... I have a question...how many of my fellow Rantsters can relate? I feel like I see so many posts about not being able to fix cars, build computers, and in general fix things that arent software, and I mean no offense by this. But, I think a lot of people sell themselves short because they aren't a "professional" I'm pretty sure anyone who can build an application can fix most anything...you just need to read the docs and debug it!
-
Honestly bad at this front-end thing. CSS you fix one thing and it affects something else, at least that's what I've been experiencing.4
-
WiFi’s acting funny— certain websites are not loading. Probably some DNS resolution error. How do I fix this ?7
-
Made a spelling mistake... Clicked on the word and pressed ALT + ENTER to fix it.
People who use Resharper will get this :(1 -
Wanted to resize the /system of my Nexus for the Stock gapps with parted.
Deleted bootloader noooooooooo!
Someone an idea to fix this :/24 -
Thought we moved in to a nice place but then the car noise from outside main road is killing us at night.
What can be done to fix this?11 -
my sleep schedule is spectacularly fucked. i go home from school, fall asleep, wake up at 1 AM to try and work on my various web app projects, stay up until time for school the next day. this fucked up schedule has decreased my productivity a lot and i have done nothing to fix it. i feel like in the future when being productive actually matters this will be a huge set back for me. any idea how i can fix this?2
-
Incompetent bosses, open offices, stupid outfitting rules, ie compatibility mode, "fix me this", "explain me how does it work this app you've never used"
-
goddamn it just give us the high performance phone assholes we've been fucking through this already multiple times fix your goddamn site !2
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