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-
Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...89 -
X: Can you link my Facebook account with the website?
Me: Yes. Can.
X: Good. I want to update website using Facebook since I know how to use Facebook well.
Me: 💀16 -
Interview.
X: So, do you have any weaknesses?
Y: Yes, I'm very honest.
X: But I don't think that's a weakness
Y: I don't give a fuck what you think2 -
me: I don't have access to X project
PM: you don't have access to X project?
me: no, I don't have access to X project
PM: don't worry I'll take care of that
2 min. later
PM: so, you were saying ... ?
me: that I don't have access to X project
1 month later
me: I don't have access to X project
PM: you don't have access to X project?10 -
Me: "Ahh yes finally done making this big module that does X, took me 2 weeks but its done!"
Coworker: "You know there's a plugin that does X right?"
Me: "Just go..."
Coworker: "Ohh and it also does Y which makes X easier if you have to do Z"
Me: "GET OUT OF HERE I NEED TO CRY"6 -
My guide to know if your startup is failing:
My Qualifications: Every startup I've joined has failed. Not necessarily because of me.
For the sake of me typing faster, x=startup.
1) X doesn't have a product, but just an idea that x keeps pitching as the next "big thing". (What's with this shit anyway?)
2)X keeps changing products, One day your designing IoT sex toys and the next day your building a self aware AI. For some reason, the people at X saw Silicon Valley or that meme about how Instagram was created and thought "Fuck that happens to every moron who can switch on a computer."
3) Even worse, X keeps changing industries.
4) X keeps lying to you, your marginal user base and seems overall unethical. (You should leave at this point.)
5) X wants to target some obscure and very specific market and keeps pitching the company along the following lines
<famous_company> for <random_market>
Eg: "Yo bro it's like Amazon but for necrophiles."
6)X keeps saying that X is the next big thing. (X is not and I can't emphasize this point enough.)
What you should realize is this is my general observation and some or all of these points may not apply to every situation.
Sorry for typos and any other stuff.11 -
Me on the train. A fucking 12 year old kid, fanboy of the iPhone X.
1. He calls it "X" (the letter). I bet he doesn't even know that it is a 10.
2. "it has only one port so you can use Bluetooth headphones". He seems like he is amazed by that. Like wtf? Guess what motherfucker you can use Bluetooth headphones even if you have a dedicated headphone jack.
3. "it has wireless charging"... Oh would you please fuck yourself you fucking donkey.
4. "it is so thin. Not like those other phones". So can somebody kick this guy or I will do it myself...
Sry gone full AlexDeLarge here...10 -
Collegue: hrrrrrrrrrrrrr *mumbles something*
Me: Rawrrrrrrrrr (the sexual'ish kind)
Collegue: Hmmm what?
Me: Miaaaaaaauwwwww 😏😉
Collegue: Duuuus.... (English something like "sooo...."
Me: x x x x ("kisses") 😏 *😘*
(I know I can do this with him for the record)20 -
Indians in a nutshell...
X feature is unavailable in the paid version.
But X = a + b + c in other free softwares.
Problem hacked.
9 -
That moment when you realise f(x)=x²
that you did in 4th grade and now
Function(x){
return x*x;
}
....😯😮😲😱😵...
You realise that Everyone has been doing programming all their life....6 -
Everything was going fine in the Interview, then:
Company X's HR: "So if you are selected in both X and Y, which one would you choose 😊?"
Me: 🤔🤔🤔 Long deep thoughts...
HR: "😒 I know your answer is X, But why X 😑?"
Me: Oh.. X! Hmm.. 🤔🤔
Result:
Successfully Rejected
#BeingHonest
Moral:
If you are sitting for X's interview, you have to always choose X with no lag, even if Y= Google.
All well; Ends Well: Placed in Y👍
PS: Here, X, Y and Me are real-life entities.13 -
// during testing, fortunately!
addresses = [
'user1@blah.com',
...
]
x=0
while ( x < addresses.length ) {
toEmail = addresses[x]
sendEmail ( toEmail )
// forget to increment x
}
// user1 not too happy4 -
Seen in code:
public String getX(){
if (x != null){
return x;
}
else return null;
}
... I'm not gonna like looking at the rest of this, am I?11 -
Today pycharm recommended me to simplify "if x > min and x > max"
Result: "if min < x < max"
Thank you for enlightening me, JetBrains6 -
Happy 0x7E2!
Fun fact:
2018 = 2 x 1009 (both prime)
8102 = 2 x 4051 (both prime)
Let we all finiah at least one side project this year!11 -
Trust me, I've been doing this for years.
Best way to deal with numbers in JavaScript:
let x = "1"
x += "1" // add one
x.length // get value of number, 24 -
*Opens devRant*
*sees everybody saying how great Linux is*
*Tries deepin OS*
*Keyboard backlight not working *
*Searches YouTube for a fix*
*Fixes the Backlight*
*Screen resolution set to 800*600 by defualt (monitor 1920*1080)*
*Grub decides there is no need for a windows entry*
*plugs in Windows USB*
*Opens cmd*
*diskpart*
*list disk*
*sel disk 0*
*list vol*
*sel vol 3*
*clean*
*boots into windows*
*Follows a guide to remove grub*
*Learns the lesson*
*Ooh OS X seems nice*
FML23 -
Brace yourself, organs are going on the black market for the iPhone X.
I haven’t seen the keynote yet, but $2,000 for a phone, seriously this fucker better be making me coffee in the morning, if I have to sell my fucking kidneys and right leg to buy this one.
Ooh it offers a Face ID, cool so now I can stick a photo up at the camera and unlock my phone - security!!
It’s got a wireless charger***, sort of, still needs a useless ugly fucking charging pad .
And they’re even nice enough to put those shitty ear pods in the box.
Fuck you apple, I think it’s time I jumped off this over priced band wagon.
55 -
At one of my previous companies, there was a guy, let's call him X.
X was the ideal employee.
X used to come to office at 8.
X used to go to sleep in AC office.
X used to wake up at 10 when everyone started coming in.
X used to play Uno and Pokemon Go till 6.
X was a master in Uno and Pokemon Go.
X used to wait till 8 to get free cab facility.
X didn't do one single productive piece of shit whole day.
My boss loved X Because he came early and left late.
My boss didn't give a damn if that person even switched on his laptop or not.
My boss didn't care about productivity.
I didn't come on time and didn't leave on time (I travelled in non-traffic hours)
I slogged my ass off because I really wanted to learn.
My boss scolded me, asked to be like X.
This was the last straw.
I resigned the next day.
I never wanted to be like X. Seeing him daily, motivated me so much.
When I worked, I focussed on it, I didn't keep checking the clock waiting for it to hit 5 pm.
I aimed for productivity, set realistic targets and always achieved them, no matter what.
My boss was an a--hole. I met X and Boss recently. Both are still in the same role, just scraping through.
Felt really good that I worked hard and have achieved something in life ^_^13 -
Quote by my non-techie co-founder: when a developer says a new feature takes X amount of time, you always have to multiply X by PI to get the actual duration 🤓8
-
Task: A mobile Application in less than an hour
- Headphones [x]
- Zone Music [x]
- Fan [x]
- Linux [x]
- VSCode [x]
- Terminal [x]
Now, let's get into the zone6 -
Shower Thought :
maybe i need to call JS equal signs like this :
x = 3; // x is 3 now
x == 3; // does x is equal to 3 ?
x === 3; // does x is Fucking equal to 3?10 -
While sitting on the toilet, it struck me:
int y = (int) (x+0.5); //x is a float
is exactly the same as:
int y = Math.round(x);
It's such a simple thought, yet, I realized that just now.17 -
My coworker when he is copy pasting code without thinking..
Something like that:
var x;
if (veryExpensiveFunction()) {
x = veryExpensiveFunction();
// do something messy with x..
}
Sometimes I really feel the urge to punch him in the neck - and he never knows why I’m freaking out.. :’(4 -
I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS BUY NEW STUFF WHEN THEIR OLD THINGS WORK PERFECTLY FINE!
FFS PEOPLE ARE JUST FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT NOWADAYS! I MEAN, FIRST THEYRE LIKE, oh we need to save the planet bla bla.... THEN THEIR LIKE!
OMFG! NEW IPHONE X WOLOLO MUST HAVE! OMG MY OLD PHONE IS WORKING PERFECTLY FINE BUT ITS THE NEW IPHONE OMG!
I MEAN! COME FUCKING ON! WHAT IDIOTS! IF ITS WORKING, KEEP IT!
#NoHomo12 -
For 10 thousand years I have pronounced "Nginx" as "En ginns" just found out from Ubuntu's official page that it is pronouned "Engine-X".
What a shame (－‸ლ)19 -
How some of our country's government websites handle responsive web design:
"Best viewed in Internet Explorer 5.x or higher in 1024 x 768 resolution"5 -
X: What do you wanna earn?
Me: Well the average is $$$.
X: Okay. We will pay you $.
Me: ... okay.... .... ... ... -_-''5 -
customer: "hey, feature X is broken!"
me: *asks for details
customer, one week later: "feature X contains information about Y, that *must not* be"
me: *looks at code, at git-history, at related tickets
customer, one year ago: "hey, feature X *must* contain information about Y"
me, all the time: :-|4 -
X: "what do you do for a living?"
Me: "i'm a computer engineer"
X: "so you're like Mr. Robot, right?"
Me: "..."1 -
Me: can you add x to y?
Dev: sure mate, done tomorrow
Me: kay thx
Next day:
Dev: ok I added x to z! There you go
Me: infinite facepalm4 -
Me: junior dev
Assignment: build a REST search service that also does (thing x)
Me: gosh I just can't figure out how to make (thing x) work! Nothing I try works and there are no online resources!
*goes to meeting with client*
Client: (thing x) is impossible in our application, so we are expecting (much more manageable thing)
Me: awesome! I think I can build that
Manager who can't code: what are you talking about, (thing x) is clearly better and it should be possible to do
Manager: *sends email outlining shifted requirements after the meeting, including (thing x)*3 -
Just got my beta access for Framer X. They describe themselves as "Unity for design" bridging the gap between Sketch and React using code-based components. I think it has a lot of potential. Would love some non-designer perspectives. What do the front-end devs here think of it?10
-
Wow I hate VBA... What a fucking shitty syntax:
For x in y
...
Next x
If x Then
...
ElseIf y Then
...
End If
While z
...
Wend
WTF even is this? Wend? WTH! Why can't you just use a End While? For fuck sake I hate this language32 -
So am I the only one here who is still saving up to buy the latest 15 inches macbook pro despite of all those cons?
How I wish dell xps can run Mac OS X. Meh 😩
Hhmm or should I buy dell xps and just install Ubuntu?19 -
x comes out.
Team: hey let's rewrite our project using x!
4 months later..
y comes out.
Team: x is so crappy, let's rewrite our project using y!
3 months later...
z comes out...
Team: why did we ever use y, let's rewrite our project using z!
.
.
.5 -
Our story start like this.
Boss: Hey programmer A, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer A: I suggest not implement {feature X} because {negative impact of feature X}
Boss: Ok
Boss asks Programmer B.
Boss: Hey programmer B, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer B: Of course, no problem
Programmer B asks Programmer A.
Programmer B: Hey Programmer A, Do you know how to implement {feature X} on this application? I have no idea.
Programmer A: WHAT!!! do you know that {feature X}, Will negatively impact our application?
Programmer B: Well that's our boss want, I can't say no.
Programmer A: (F**k I hate this guy)4 -
Z2: 3GB RAM
Z3: 3GB RAM
Z3+: 3GB RAM
Z4v: 3GB RAM
Z5: 3GB RAM
Z5 "Premium": 3GB RAM
X: 3GB RAM
X "Performance": 3GB RAM
ZX: 3GB RAM
Sony.. Alright...3 -
Samsung Pay > Apple Pay
There I said it. After testing Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and now Samsung Pay I am convinced that Samsung Pay is the best. It works great and the rewards points that you get for using it are just awesome.
Side note: wtf Apple!? The iPhone 8 is the iPhone 7 plus wireless charging and the iPhone X is just a $1000 piece of flashy ass shit that's only real "innovations" are Face ID and animojis.6 -
Client: we want X.
Dev: Quote for X.
Client: We only want to pay x.
Dev: Requote for x.
Client: approved x.
Dev: Deliver x.
Client: where is X we asked for X.
... perspective of project scope matters.1 -
"You don't have to implement all that functionality, just X" - proceeds to describe how X entirely depends on *all that functionality*2
-
Go to fucking hell SO!
Question: "How to do X?"
Answer: "You can solve your particular problem without doing X."
God fucking damnit, yeah some noob tried to use X to solve a completely unrelated problem and thank god somebody pointed out a better solution. But since all other questions about doing X are labelled as duplicates of this question, could you dickheads at least provide an actual answer to the question instead of an answer which only works for that particular problem and has nothing to do with X?3 -
Infinite loop in real life :/
X: Where is your house?
Y: Near Ramesh's house.
X: Where is Ramesh's house?
Y: Near my house.8 -
Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...6 -
Just found my ultimate project for Arduino...
https://youtube.com/watch/...
Have to make this untill x-mas and take it to the company x-mas dinner
10 -
@JoshBent and @nikola1402 requested a tutorial for installing i3wm in a windows subsystem for linux. Here it is. I have to say though, I'm no expert in windows nor linux, and all I'm going to put here is the result of duckduck searches, reddit and documentation. As you will see, it isn't very difficult.
First things first: Install WSL. It's easy and there's a ton of good tutorials on this. I think I used this one: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/...
Once you got it installed, I guess it would be better to run "sudo apt-get update" to make sure we don't encounter many problems.
Install a windows X server: X is what handles the graphical interface in linux, and it works with the client/server paradigm. So what we'll do with this is provide the linux client we want to use (in this case i3wm) with an X server for it on windows. I guess any X server will do the work, but I highly recommend vcXsrv. You can download it here:
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...
for i3 just "sudo apt-get install i3"
Configurations to make stuff work:
open your ~/.bashrc file ("nano ~/.bashrc" vim is cool too). You'll have to add the following lines to the end of it:
"""
export DISPLAY=:0.0 #This display variable points to the windows X server for our linux clients to use it.
export XDG_RUNTIME_DIR=$HOME/xdg #This is a temporary directory X will use
export RUNLEVEL=3
sudo mkdir /var/run/dbus #part of the dbus fix
sudo dbus-daemon --config-file=/usr/share/dbus-1/system.conf #part of the dbus fix
"""
Ok so after this we'll have a functional x client/server configuration. You'll just have to install your desktop enviroment of choice. I only installed i3wm, but I've seen unity and xfce working on the WSL too. There are still some files that X will miss though.
*** Here we'll add some files X would miss and :
With "nano ~/.xinitrc" edit the xinitrc to your liking. I only added this:
"""
#!/usr/bin/env bash
exec i3
"""
Then run "sudo chmod +x ~/.xinitrc" to make it an excecutable.
Then, to make a linking file named xsession, run:
"ln -s ~/.xinitrc ~/.xsession"
Now you'll be able to run whatever you put in ~/.xinirc with:
"dbus-launch --exit-with-session ~/.xsession"
There's a ton of personalisation to be done, but that would be a whole new tutorial. I'll just share a github repo with my dotfiles so you can see them here:
https://github.com/DanielVZ96/...
SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT:
Everytime you open any graphical interface you'll need to have the x server running. With vcXsrv, you can use X launch. Choose the options with no othe programs running on the X server. I recommend using "one window without title bar".10 -
We have a quiet room
WHAT THA FUCK DO I NEED A QUIET ROOM FOR, I NEED A ROOM TO FUCKING RAGE BREAK SHIT AND FUCKING KILL SOME FUCKING CATS AND 9DFEHYPIUFHVBQHEWFOQ0EFVQOEIIIIUCFQOYWREIUXBNMFYKJDTYNSBGVBF7 -
X : Do you accept space for username at sign up?
Me : Nope, no space. Username shouldn't have space.
X : Lots of people have trouble at registration because of that.
😑😑😑8 -
Last week's Android development time breakdown:
21.9% Managing state
17.7% Referring to lifecycle diagrams
15.1% Waiting for Gradle
8.5% Reading the official docs on how to use component x
8.4% Reordering auto-generated ConstraintLayout XML
7.5% Swearing
4.2% Googling “Stack overflow component x is deprecated”
3.9% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 24 or lower”
3.7% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 21 or lower”
3.2% Googling “Stack overflow implement component x on API 19 or lower”
2.9% Googling “Stack overflow callback y called twice”, realising its a feature and not a bug, swearing a lot
2.0% Checking if Flutter is mature yet
1.0% Implementing business logic4 -
You don’t hate X, you hate the word “X” because of a single bad experience with it on an early stage of your path.
You don’t know X because you banned it early and never learned it. The only thing you see is its bad part. Everything has its bad part.
The fact that X has bad apologists doesn’t mean that X itself is bad18 -
Updating Windows from X build to X build it's like playing the Russian roulette but with the chamber full of bullets.
2 -
I almost got caught by this during an interview:
const foo = ['a', 'b'];
const bar = foo.findIndex(x => x === 'a'); // 0
if (bar) { // I'm an idiot
console.log('Do something');
}
🤦♂️23 -
So back on November 7th I received my Xbox one x project Scorpio edition, unfortunately the model I have suffers from some sort of defective thermal paste and after a good couple of hours of elite dangerous at 4k, it shuts itself down and I have to wait overnight for it to work again. Microsoft said if I send them it they'll give me a new one in about 2 weeks, my solution is to hold it outside my window for 5 minutes to cool it down. God bless the cold of the UK.
12 -
Got a new iPhone X. Had to set up as a new phone because my old one had beta software on it and wouldn’t let me restore from backup (yes, I know I could download the new iOS beta on the X then reset and store from backup but I was in a hurry) but in doing so it gave me the chance to rearrange my home screen and devRant made it on the first page!
8 -
In the land of Kangaroos you can claim education expenses directly related to your profession on your tax return. I am developing a plug-in for X-Plane. Do you guys think I can claim costs of my flying school as "education to better understand flight characteristics so that my plug-in works better"?
For anyone who's interested, I'm building a six pack using round LCD displays and an Arduino
9 -
The program 'x' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: sudo apt install x.
Wow, thanks! I didn't know! I've always wanted to know how to install programs with apt.10 -
Managers interrupting you to complain that X takes too much time instead of letting you work on X to finish it in time.
-
function x () {
for (var i = 0; i < 5; i++) {
try {
return i;
} finally {
if (i != 3) continue;
}
}
}
console.log( x() ); // ?7 -
Client: Please add feature x in "here"
Me: Adds feature x in "here"
Fast forward to QA
QA: Test for feature x failed. Feature was added in "here" but is not in "there"
Me: There was no request to add x in "there"
Client: Feature x was already supposed to be in "there", you might have removed it.
Me: *Checks file where feature would be added.
* Git blame show no changes since received we the project (one major release back)
Lying cunt. I'm sick of your literally incomprehensible tasks giving government fucks, speak human language not overhead driven bureaucracy-jargon3 -
Waking up, going through my devrant-notifications. See "Person X ++'ed your comment" 11 times in a row. Uuuhm, thank you?
(I wont tell who X is)6 -
When a condition is true and false at the same time...
var_dump(0 == "x"); // true
var_dump(!0 == " x"); // true
WTF?!
I started using the === more often...5 -
Ditched the iPhone X for the Samsung Gaaxy S9+ today, tires of the notch and no fingerprint sensor plus I wanted the bigger better screen.9
-
My friend works for my favorite company Apple, his boss ranted Apple is about giving options.
I figured out some missing options in my iPhone X
Need to listen music: sorry can't plug in a headphone we removed that option 😉
Other phones have option to unlock through face or finger print (oops we removed one option)
No option to take a photo in 16:9 aspect ratio (4:3 only)
No option to change themes or layout to personalize your phone
Any positive thoughts on this option statement? If I missed some option examples 😅11 -
How to get clicks on YouTube:
Step 1: wait for a mayor phone manufacturer to release a new phone.
Step 2: make a video with the title 'X reasons why you shouldn't buy <insert new phones name>'
Step 3: ???
Step 4: profit.4 -
You wanna know how Windows really pisses me off? I press ctrl + win + right arrow to go to workspace X, I launch application X, then I go back to application Y in the previous workspace (workspace Y)
Fucking application X shows up in workspace Y.
WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONS.. nevermind, I need a shower.1 -
Today's assignment made @safiullah lose his mind.He literally wrote:
void someFunc(int x)
{
x = x ;
}7 -
When searching through an array,because I also program using Java,i always end up putting for(x=0;x<array.length ;x++){}
Now in php I have to deal with this
10 -
If a picture is worth a 1000 words then a video is what, (1000 x frame rate x length of the video) words???2
-
** me setting up GitLab CI **
- run pipeline
- FAIL
- env variable not passed to one of the shell scripts
- set -x, rerun
- FAIL
- same reason. env variable is OK in the `set -x` output
- comment out `set -x`, rerun
- still FAIL
- same reason
- find a `set +x` left in one of the scripts
- comment that out
- rerun
- PASS
- WTF?!?!?!?
- continue on swearing for wasted better half of the day debugging my scripts12 -
I am starting new iteration of microservice X.
The new repository is named: new-new-new-X
And as you suspect, previous iterations are named:
new-new-X
new-X
and X
:D8 -
float integral = 0;
float dx=float.minValue;
for (float x = a; x<=b; x+=dx) {
integral+=f(x)*dx;
}
A classmate just literally wrote this and he believed it was the proper way to do it.
I asked him to integrate f(x)=1 on 0<x<1. -
> Project does X
< How about you show me how X looks in action
> No
Add fucking images to your project
if there is anything to show off!
Uh I reached 3k, cool.5 -
The feeling when you didn't spot what the error was here:
int x = 0;
int y = 0;
for ( ; y < rows; y++) {
for ( ; x < cols; x++) {
//Dafuq, only does one line?!
}
}10 -
This is how I explain my co-workers when they see this line of code in my utilities projects:
export const pipe = (...fns) => x => fns.reduce((y, f) => f(y), x)
3 -
X - New stickers, people!!! Yay!!
X - Ordered these from www.juststickers.in.
X - Nice quality paper.
X - About $3 per piece.
X - You should try.
> Thanks @sumeetchawla.
> Although, you guys don't read the emails sent to your Support@juststickers.in email address 😒.
> I would give you 3/5.
-1 for not replying to the email.
-1 for storing the password in plain text.
Stickers are worth the money though 😊👌👍
5 -
~rant
Hey did you know there is a neat operator called "tadpole"?
-~x = x+1 (tadpole swimming towards x)
~-x = x-1 (swimming away)
https://blogs.msdn.microsoft.com/ol...2 -
A friend of mine is youtuber and he does a lot tests on phone ( call him X)
Another friend of mine hates Apple product. Partly because he can’t afford it (call him Y)
whenever X wants to do a WATER RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a HEAT RESISTANCE TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
whenever X wants to do a DROP TEST, Y would go: “Lets fuck Iphone”
One fine day, same happened and X got a bit red. X says: Y come here. Closer, a little more ( few centimeters away now). “Are you fucking mad or what?”
2 -
Build your own X – awesome tutorials library. Especially when you want to build your own Docker or operating system.
https://github.com/danistefanovic/...3 -
#Apple #FaceID
Yet another step towards the God's eye in Fast & Furious. Since it requires a 360 scan of a face, CIA just requires a photo to find anyone in the planet who's using an iPhone X [Stands for Expensive]. There's a reason why Apple ditched the fingerprint sensor.
RIP #Privacy 😶
5 -
Installed GNOME terminal and so went to uninstall the default XTerm as it seemed unnecessary.
Turns out removing xterm removes the entire X Window System...
I can't remember my username...3 -
Team: let's do "X".
Me: we couldn't do "X" because... We should do "Y".
Team: that's why we're saying let's do "Y"
Me: ...
What!!! What are they even thinking ?1 -
loop {
So I want to write a simple program in language X. Create a new project. Language X does not have this feature. Okay, Let me write a library that does that for language X. Create a new project. What was I doing again?!
}1 -
Clients that want to tell a programmer the logic flow of their program:
if x > y, "A" happens
if x < y, "B" happens
WHAT OF THEY ARE EQUAL?!?!?3 -
Google for solution to complex problem:
- A quick intro into X
- Build a guestbook using X
- A Solution Architects summary of overview page of X
Thanks internet! most helpful.1 -
QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
...
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y
FML2 -
dubSmall = lambda x: x*(2-min(1,x//100))
dubSmall = lambda x: 2*x if x < 100 else x
I prefer the first one, and I think people will always hate me for that.6 -
If I have four unknown variables, x, y, j, and k, but know the values of x*j, y/k, and k/j, and x*j == y/k
How do I go about getting the values of the individual unknown variables?10 -
I can never forgive Apple for the iPhone X. Not because it's a bad phone or that it is overpriced. But because they missed the perfect opportunity to make the back logo the fingerprint scanner.
I mean seriously, just think about the marketing potential. They finally had an excuse to cut that hole in the back of the cover.1 -
Yes, i can surely calculate the distribution of datasets when they look like
9 x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x 1
That will be SO accurate2 -
No... like seriously, how do you pronounce Elon Musk child's name?
=> X AE A-XII
I think that kid is fucked!11 -
X : What do you do?
Me : I am an embedded software developer
X: So you develop software?
Me: Yes, but my software works on BareMetal.
X: So you work in a metal workshop.
Me: -_-3 -
Was reading about FizzBuzz/Algo again and I guess the modulo run-time.
The most optimal solution I came across is like:
if (x % 15) FizzBuzz
else if (x % 3) Buzz
else if (x % 5) Fizz
else x
But then how long does % take? Should you care?
I was thinking it should use variables:
var f = x % 3 == 0
var b = x % 5 == 0
if (f && b) FizzBuzz
else if (f) Fizz
else if (b) Buzz
else x10 -
Me solving a problem x
Open google types
Me: {
"How to's x ...."
}
google: {
dev overflow first result: very complicated solution
result 2: Even more complicated
result 3: Out of topic
... Irrelevant
}
Me: {
"Google's: Why x sucks" // To see if we are many victims
}
google: {
"Returns all positive reviews of x"
}
Me: Bitter, Confused and in denial -
T(x, y)=x*(1+y/100)+√-1
x = hours estimated from Boss. if the boss
y = sum of the features with the following weight:
Multiplatform = 10
Web = 5
social * = 100
blockchain = 100
HTML-email = 10
Every other bullshit bingo term = 20
everything else = 1
Terms that appear multiple times count multiple times.
If the boss didnt give his estimate triple the feature-value and use 100 as x-value3 -
Best way to learn 'X' (and X11 too, if you see what I mean :))
1) shitpost on DevRant about how much 'X' is better than Java
2) read the official docs1 -
I just intentionally used the "All My Files" shortcut in Finder. There was me thinking "no one would ever use this" for the last 4 years1
-
iphone x fails
I use smartphone with OLED display since 2010 and never got this problem, but for apple is normal
http://pocketnow.com/2017/11/...
here we're not talking about twins, but just brothers
https://macitynet.it/face-id-fail/...
ROTFL seriously?
https://macrumors.com/2017/10/...
but what else you want from a really good deal (cook said) phone for only more than 1000$???3 -
Smart me.. Updated OS X from 10.10 to the ‘new’ 10.12 just before leaving on my vacation. I’m currently at the boarding gate, wanting to develop some bits and pieces.
Apparently, the update fucked me once more.. My XAMPP server, the Git commands, my permissions, .. Nothing works.. Now I have to google all this stuff to get everything working again, but the Wifi is sooo damn sloooow.
Doubted so many times to install ubuntu on my macbook, but I have no idea how Ubuntu handles the battery life, the led keyboard, the function buttons, … The whole OS X works for me, but once in a while, it fuckes me so hard, I would've liked it if it took me out for dinner once in a while.. :D3 -
This "rootless" OS X El Capitan security feature is bullshit for developers. Just found that one out the hard way.2
-
Gamers Nexus has a really unique benchmark for the new AMD GPUs where AMD actually manages to pull ahead of Nvidia:
13 -
How much I hate when I see
double x;
if (x = 1)
do_something();
Seriously, why is that so appealing to you?
As well as
int i = 0;
for (; i < n; ++i)
do_something();13 -
Fix for bug x
Fix 2 for bug x
Final fix for bug x
Really final fix for bug x
Another fix for bug x
...
Fix 59 fit bug x
....
As the gf egg bf egg Jr DG DG r
Rf we j RF at uh xD egg GB g2 -
Got bit by a hacked repo. It was compromised for all of like 30-some seconds. No intrusions, but now I can't set my root password (passwd goes "oh, yeah, we got this" then it does... nothing...) and Weyland/X/Gnome/Cinnamon/KDE/whatever the kids use nowadays are all busted (they all start, but they just hang tty1 and whatever other console invoked it). Tried reinstalling all those kinds of things, didn't help.
fml2 -
Today's achievement: wrote game of life in K3.
neigh:{(+/,/-1 0 1!'\:/:-1 0 1!\:x)-x}
life:{(x*2=neigh x)|3=neigh x}15 -
Program: Meets a critical bug, potentially crashing the whole system.
Administrator: Presses the "Emergency stop" button.
Emergency stop program: Meets a critical bug in itself.
Admin: X . X -
Naaarf
Refactoring the whole day.
Someone who prefers while(list(...) = each(...)) or for($x=0; $x < count($array); $x++) wrote the following code, too.
if ($indexed == null || $indexed == "0" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 0 || $indexed == "1" && $row[$x]["indexed"] == 1) ....
It's buggy. Why does this not surprise me?
This stuff. Whole day.
My brain feels foggy.5 -
Does anyone have a mnemonic for x and y and which is which, on a graph? I feel like I have to look it up or guess every time. Some day a building is going to collapse because of one of my guesses.12
-
Open software:
Error message: Failed to load x..
Why not tell:
Error message: Failed to load x. Please reinstall software.
or
Error message: Failed to load x. Remove cache folder located in "drive/somewhere" and try again.
or
Error message: Failed to load x. Please recreate x by using tool y and try again.
if software tells you no meaningful message and you have NO idea how to solve it.. it is one of those annoying things you have to deal with.
Why can't I just create features....4 -
class Rant(Speech):
def __init__(self, topic, audience):
self.topic = topic
self.audience = [x for x in audience if x.mood = moods[bored]]
devRant = Rant("wtf?", devs)3 -
google pixel 2 vs iphone x fails
recap pixel 2:
- http://pocketnow.com/2017/11/...
- https://neowin.net/news/...
- https://engadget.com/2017/10/...
- https://neowin.net/news/...
recap iphone x:
- https://engadget.com/2017/11/...
- https://engadget.com/2017/11/...
- https://neowin.net/news/...
- https://neowin.net/news/...
- https://neowin.net/news/...
- https://reddit.com/r/iphone/...
- https://macrumors.com/2017/10/...
- http://pocketnow.com/2017/11/...
- http://pocketnow.com/2017/11/... -
I feel bad for Monkey X, I've never used it, but it sounds like a good language. You've probably never used it - it's a cross platform language that compiles natively to iOS, Android, Windows, Mac, and more. It also can be exported into an HTML5 game. There's only been one successful app made with it. I feel so bad for it...1
-
x = 10
while (x --> 0) // While X goes to Zero
{
print(x);
}
// Output: 9876543210
"Goes to" is the funniest operator, also it works in almost any language XD4 -
I got a new computer. Ended up getting a Sager Laptop. I also ended up getting Windows 10 Pro. I had forgotten how shitty Windows 10 has gotten. My biggest gripe are the start button (fixed using open shell) and the creation and adding users. Microshit goes out of their way to trick you into getting a POS MS account. I knew the trick when my PC first started to stay offline so MS could not force a MS account. However, I added a user later and again they are fucking with you to force a user account. Figured out which non-descript place to click to just add a local account. This is shitty behavior of an OS. Especially one that claims to be Pro. This is not how to win customers. It just aggravates people that know what they are doing.
The bright side to this is could take out my frustration after I moved my Fallout 4 setup to the new computer. Mod Organizer 2 makes it easy to move everything at once. Configured one config file and boom I can now run it on Ultra settings. Explode a few skulls and reduce a few more to radioactive ash/goo. Frustrations are gone. lol
Also on the bright side with running Pro. I can select Update control via group policy. This doesn't seem to work on Home.13 -
Anyone else take online classes in college for programming and find several of your courses not having lectures and completely relying off a book, even for assignments?
Week X:
Read chapter x
Do end chapter assignments x x, and x -
Project Manager: "You have until x date, but how far off are you from finishing"
Me: "How long is it until x date, there is your answer"
-
Working with someone who made repetitive css code like this:
#home {
x
}
#blog {
y
}
where x and y exactly have same child classes structure with small differences, making css file somewhat large.2 -
"Hey - just get inspired by this code from _insertBigTechCompanyHere_ and you will be fine!"
-
"You mean the code for which x departments have worked x months and spent x million dollars?
Yeah.
Five minutes..." -
Rant<X, Y>
Person A: Where can i find X, and how to do it?
Person B: Why X? Find Y, Y is better, you can find Y in the... *explains Y*!
Person A: but.... but i asked for X :(2 -
I'm not a fan of X display managers. I prefer to have my machine boot directly to the virtual console, and if I want to run X, I can start it with startx. Does anyone else do that? If so, what do you put in your .xinitrc?4
-
!rant // more like a warning
If you use tty (no X or graphic env) and use tmux as terminal multiplexer -> avoid using mpv in it.
.
When you use -> mpv --vo=drm "video name" in tmux session and want to pause video -> cpu usage will climb up to 100% on single core.
(can make laptop warm)
(I don't know what exactly cause this but my theory is, tmux cant redraw after video is pause and it keep trying forever and end up using cpu 100% on single core)
.
Solution
- use mpv on another tty which you didn't run tmux.
- example : tty1: all stuff, tty2: mpv.
And cpu usage will be normal after video is pause.4 -
Change my mind. Golang can be more difficult than it needs to be sometimes:
Find the first "non-null" value in an array:
Go:
Optional<String> result = Stream.<Supplier<String>> of(
() -> first(),
() -> second(),
() -> third() )
.map( x -> x.get() )
.filter( s -> s != null)
.findFirst();
Ruby:
@group_list.find { |x| !x["list"].blank? }16 -
Any advice on a Symfony update to 4.x? It once was a 2.x which I've updated in the past to 3.3 any pitfalls to keep in mind when upgrading to 4.x?4
-
This is how my AntLang code looks like:
repeat[{echo',|{[+]<x*2>,(4le+)take(0eq(x\4)mod 6)take<(+\1)%3>}'x};{1};<1>]
:D -
Sometimes I genuinely wonder what the thought process of some people is...
git checks out feature-X branch
git creates new branch off of it to work on something that has absolutely nothing to do with feature X
then opens a PR back into feature-X
Me: this has nothing to do with feature X.. i think you meant to branch off of develop and PR back into develop, no?
Them: no it was intentional .. feature-X will eventually end up on develop so I thought we'd get both features on develop.
I'm not even mad and this isn't a rant, I'm just really confused 🙂4 -
PR (tested)
-- if(a){ x(); }
++ if(a && b(x)){ x(); )
Reviewer: what if a'?
Me-think: but da'/dx not defined, :'(4 -
// new Rant("help needed!")
I really need some help guys! Would be nice if you could checkout
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...
and help me out if possible :) Got some problems with ffmpeg on OS X not streaming https urls.
And if these kind of rants aren't supposed to be posted/created please tell me so. I am still not familiar with the overall flare of this community ;)8 -
- Do you want to be our amazing product X evangelist?
- Next word you say will be my answer. Is X an Open Source Software?
- …1 -
!rant
This is what I do every time I feel like garbage.
class Main:
def feelsgood():
x = input("Type your name")
print(x + " is awesome!")
Main.feelsgood() -
“X” and “Meta” is exactly how a serial killer disguises themselves. Same piece of shit, different identity.
https://mashable.com/article/...6 -
Devrant help me out.
(n/x)*(y/x)
You know x, and you know n, and you know z where ((y/x)*x)*((x/y)*x) = z
Solve for y.
If you do it, I'll consider giving you a billion dollars (of course the payment schedule will be an asymptote).31 -
Can someone please explain the benefits of this in Kotlin:
var x = if(a !=b) {
z
}else{
y
}
Even for a conditions with one line body it looks bad in reading and getting a clue of what does this do.
I mean whats wrong with:
var x: MyObject
if(a!=b){
x = y
}else{
x = z
}
Even in switch cases (or as kotlin calls: when) True one return source, but now good luck finding the last line that is the actual returned value ...15 -
Q.14 - Suppose that R sends a msg 'm' which is digitally signed to M and the pair of private and public keys for M and R be denoted as K(x)- and K(x)+ for x=R,M respectively. Let K(x)(m) represent the encryption of 'm' with a key K(x) and H(m) is the message digest. Which of the following is the way of sending the msg 'm' along with the digital signature to M?
A. [m, K(R)+(H(m))]
B. [m, K(R)-(H(m))]
C. [m, K(M)-(H(m))]
D. [m, K(A)+(m)]
E. WOW, REALLY ?5 -
Help with C code
int main()
{
int x =10;
void *p = &x;
printf("%d", ((int*)p)* );
return 0;
}
I'm trying to cast p to and int, for dereferencing it and printing the value of x, but Im getting an "expected expression before ) token" in the line for printf.8 -
Been deep diving LinkedIn search for a new project. Quickly hit the LI free monthly search cap that started in 2015 to encourage Premium LI subscriptions. May get it but in the meantime using x-ray google searching to LI and other techniques that don't count against LI monthly searches. If you have interest rant me and I will provide more details.
-
Q: I'm using make as a simple task runner. `make build` instead of a longer build command etc. It sucks that I can't simply pass some params like `make build dev`, instead I have to pass them as variables: `make build tag=dev`.
Can you recommend a standard, cross-platform (Linux, OS X) tool for this?9 -
Ok, so currently in my Java course on Udemy we are going more in-depth into scope and visibility, and I'm currently doing the challenge for it.
So I'm doing it and the challenge is to have every single name of a variable or method be called 'x' (just to better understand scope and vis, he mentions how this is not a good practice AT ALL) with the exceptions of the classes and scanner var (but there is an optional challenge to also make them named x).
Now that I progressed into it, I noticed something. This challenge is literally making me make my code so DRY and outside-the-box-thinking that, what if, this could be a practice?
Not the naming everything in your code the same var name, but doing that at the start and then renaming the variables after coding. Because right now, I feel as though I am using SO MUCH less code than if I had the liberty of naming my classes, methods, and variables different things, it's actually kinda cool.
I'll attach my code from the challenge to this after by it really amazed me how well my code looked compared to my previous challenges and even personal projects!1 -
The worst type of exam question in University for me:
Using first-order logic (predicate logic) express the following statements:
(i) Every student except Tom is smiling.
(ii) Everyone likes everyone who doesn't like himself.
Answers:
(i) ∀x(student(x)→(¬Tom(x) <-> smiling(x)))
(ii) ∀x∀y(¬likes(y,y)→likes(x,y)) -
I'm having a laptop which is powered by i5 3230M with 6G memory (1 x 4G and 1 x 2G). Sometimes I can feel the lag while I'm working on multiple IDEs. So, how much more memory do you guys suggest?
(2 x 4G) or (1 x 4G and 1 x 8G)19 -
Being a front end develop of mostly PHP projects and also designer of everything for the company, probably best that I use OS X most of the time.
My place doesn't agree. They realise that I can't use Windows because it's support of PHP is laughable at best. However, they don't understand how difficult it is find a good quality piece of Ubuntu software for designing responsive websites. It just doesn't exist as far as I'm aware.23 -
Manager: why did you overlook X?
Me: X? Whatchu mean?
Manager: X! Here have a look!
Me: ah ... hmm well ... it lacks free beer next to it, see?
Manager: ah ok!3 -
Rust noob Q:
Given x a variable on the heap, e.g.
let x = String::from("Hello, devRant!");
Then, given some function that I didn't write (from a library) that takes ownership of its argument:
fn some_function(y: String) -> bool { ... }
How would you handle this situation:
if some_function(x) {
another_function(x); // not ok, because x has gone out of scope in the line before
}
Is it idiomatic to just clone() x in the first call? That seems bad practice, because it's the second (or some other additional) call that needs x. What should I be doing instead?8 -
Yeah sure it is totally the fault of framework X being less popular than framework Y. That is the reason why you don't find devs for framework X.
The low pay and bad organisation has nothing to do with this. Yes it is probably the best idea to take the 4 years of work in X and continue it in Y. The devs will fight for a job where an Y app is integrated into an X app... -
Whats it called when you subtract 1 or more from a number and get its decimal component back as result?
For example, lets say
((x+y)/y) - 1 == x/y
For example
((x+y)/y) == d('1.000041160213365071474861471983496528380123531238424473420976789')
and the right hand side is
(x/y) == d('0.000041160213365071474861471983496528380123531238424473420976789')
Is this trivial or something interesting or a concept that others are familiar with and I just haven't learned?7 -
If someone tries to convince someone else to try X framework, should they be called X missionary?
(asking for a friend)2 -
Spending over an hour trying to implement module X wondering why it doesn't work. Then see there is a deprecated/defunt/broken statement at the page of module X
-
Hate when I forget I rename x variable to y just for the compiler to fuck me in the ass by telling me x variable doesn't exist. FFS!!!1
-
Hey guys, why yould you use linux over Mac OS X since they are both unix based ? Are there things Linux can do and OS X can’t ? Thx !9
-
We should stop giving fucks about what product company X made and how much they're selling it for. Buy whatever the fuck you want or need.
Those apple iPhone X rants are getting annoying. -
Make's running but i'm piping its output to a log file so i'm slowly starting to feel as though i'm about to end up slipping and doing a "sudo chmod -x /mnt/human/consciousness -R" please help i'm so fucking tired man...
-
In JS/Node, is there a performance and memory cost to nested functions?
I.e.
function handle(req, res)
{
var x = 5, y = 10;
function add() { return x + y; }
function multi() { return x*y; }
res.send(add() + multi());
}
As opposed to taking out the 2 functions and making them accept x,y as parameters.6 -
The algorithm basically works like this:
For every element x in an array, start a new program that:
Sleeps for x seconds
Prints out x
The clock starts on all the elements at the same time.
It works for any array that has non-negative numbers.
-
Client request of the day:
Client asks to omit data based on lack of X.
...
Client asks to preload all data with X.1 -
const PROVIDER_TYPES = Object.freeze({
FACEBOOK: "facebook",
GOOGLE: "google",
GITHUB: "github",
X: "x",
});3 -
[`script(x) ` for x in iterable if condition else command] [#:#]
Complex code in one line
#python
PS. That can be more complex, but I am lazy to continue with this -
God damn it!
Tried to use scipy's UniveriateSpline on some (x,y) coordinates that I have and it throws errors because I have multiple x values with different y value. UniveriateSpline expects all x values to be incresasing. Problem is I want to use these values, otherwise the result might be different than expected. B-Splines shouldn't be dependent on this condition or have I missed something in my studies? Documentation doesn't tell me anything.🙄 -
Any fellow Symfony programmers here? How's the upgrade from 2.x to 3.x going?
I'm worried about some bundles breaking tbh2 -
Finally working on rewriting the core of our internal platform on CakePHP 3.
It feels so good leaving the legacy codebase behind!4 -
Hey three, ..hey Three....., hey THREE!
Why does your mesh scale method take
Height......
First?
Have you heard of x?
How about y?
Maybe x,y?
Maybe width,height?
BUT HEIGHT?
THEN WIDTH?
WTF
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