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Agency: " Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?"
M.D: "Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:-
1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.
2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.
3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.
4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.
5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.
6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.
7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.
8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.
9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.
10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.
11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.
12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
The programmer and the interns part 3.
Many of you asked me to keep posting about the interns that I'm responsible for.
I had the intention but never had the time or the energy. Since the interns only kept doing stupid, unthinkable things and just filtering out the good ones is a task of its own.
Time has passed, some interns left us by their choice, others were fired (for obvious reasons). Some stayed loyal and were given permanent positions. New ones joined. I no longer am directly responsible for their wellbeing, yet, somehow I am still their tech-lead and the developer of their tools.
Without further delay,
New guy get's into the internship, has his LinkedIn title set to ‘HTML Technician’.
Didn’t know about the existence of HTML5.
Been building static web pages in the early 2000s. The kind with embedded, inline CSS.
Claims that he is about to finish an engineering degree (sadly I believe him).
Fails the entry level Linux test. Complains about the similarity of the answer options.
Fails the basic web-standars test because "they change so fast, but the foundation is HTML and it's rock-solid!".
Get's caught taking home onions and milk from the kitchen.
Is spotted eating in a restaurant under our offices in his day off. Thrice. He lives a 30 minute drive away and comes here on a bicycle or by bus.
Apparently didn't know that the scrolling wheel on the mouse is clickable.
Said that his PC experience is mostly from his PlayStation (PC = PlayCtation apparently).
Get's fired, says that he'll go to the press. Never does.
Yet another new intern. He seems very eager to learn and work, capable, even charismatic. Has an impressive CV.
Learns from the "case 0" guy and spends time with him until he is fired.
Comes to work at 8:00 AM and immediately goes to sleep on an office puff. In front of everyone.
Keeps dining alone, without a notice, at different times, for hours. Sometimes brings food into the office and loudly eats it there.
On his evening shifts keeps disappearing for long periods of time. Apparently drinking in the nearby bars and hitting on girls.
Keeps bragging about his success with getting their numbers and rants about those who reject him.
For over a year he fails his final training test and remains a trainee, without the ability to work on a real case.
Not fired yet.
Company retreat. Beautiful, exotic views, warm sun beams, all inclusive package for everyone on a huge half-island.
Simon (he's still with us, now as a true engineer!) brings his MacBook to the beach in order to work and impress all others.
Everybody get's drunk and start throwing huge inflatable balls at each other. One hits his laptop and it immediately is flattened.
Upset Simon is going in circles and ranting about the situation, looking for a solution.
Loses his phone on the beach.
Takes his broken laptop with him while searching for the phone.
Dips the laptop in the river while drunkenly ducking in order to pick a clam.
Still company retreat.
Drunk intern makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Huge verbal fight. The husband says that he files for a divorce. Intern get's fired.
Still company retreat.
Three interns each take an inflatable swimming mattress and drift with the current. Get found on the other side of the resort three hours later, with red skin and severely dehydrated.
Still company retreat.
The 'informally fired' intern gets drunk again, climbs through a window into a room and makes out with an employee's drunk wife.
Again, gets caught when the husband returns to find a locked door but can see them though the window.
Still company retreat.
We all get ferociously drunk and wander off to the unknown in search of more booze.
Everybody does something stupid and somebody finds Simon's phone.
Simon is lost.
Frenzied horde of drunks is roaming the half-island in search of ethanol and the lost comrade.
Simon's phone get's permanently lost.
Five people step on sea urchins but find that out only hours later and then are unable to walk.
The mob, now including more drunk people who joined voluntarily, finds the sexually active intern making out with the enraged employee's wife yet again.
Surprisingly Simon is found sleeping in a room nearby.22
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11
0. Plan before you code. Document everything. You won't remember either your idea or those clever implementations next week (or next month, or next year...).
1. Don't hack your way through, unless that's what you intend to do. Name your variables, functions etc. neatly: autocomplete exists!
Protip: Sometimes you want to check a quick language feature or a piece of code from one of your modules. Resist the urge to quickly hack in the test into your actual project. Maintain a separate file where you can quickly type in and check what you're looking for without hacking on your project (For example, in Python, you can open a new terminal or IDLE window for those quick tests).
2. Keep a quiet environment where you can focus. Recommend listening to something while coding (my latest fad is on asoftmurmur.com). Don't let anything distract you and throw your contextual awareness out of whack.
3. Rubber ducks work. Really. Talking out a complex piece of logic, or that regex or SQL query aids your mind greatly in grasping the concept and clearing the idea. Bounce off code and ideas with a friend or colleague to catch errors and oversights faster. Read more here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
4. Since everyone else is saying this (and because it merits saying), USE VERSION CONTROL. Singular most important thing to software development aside from planning and documenting.
5. Remember to flout all of the above once in a while and just make a mess of a project where you have fun throwing everything around all over the place. You'll make mistakes that you never thought were possible by someone of your caliber :) That's how you learn.
Have fun, keep learning!4
If programming languages where weapons...
1. C is an M1 Garand standard issue rifle, old but reliable.
2. C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.
3. Perl is a molotov cocktail, it was probably useful once, but few people use it
4. Java is a belt fed 240G automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn’t, and when it doesn’t during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.
5. Scala is a variant of the 240G Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.
7. Go is the custom made “if err != nil” starter pistol and after each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot. Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.
8. Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.
9. bash is a cursed hammer, when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.
10. Python is the “v2/v3” double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time, and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.
11. Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword, it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.
12. PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.
13. Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.
14. C# is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn’t seem to work as well.
15. Prolog is an AI weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom
All credits go to Vicky from damnet.com6
For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.
Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.
Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!
F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!
I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.20
One comment from @Fast-Nop made me remember something I had promised myself not to. Specifically the USB thing.
So there I was, Lieutenant Jr at a warship (not the one my previous rants refer to), my main duties as navigation officer, and secondary (and unofficial) tech support and all-around "computer guy".
Those of you who don't know what horrors this demonic brand pertains to, I envy you. But I digress. In the ship, we had Ethernet cabling and switches, but no DHCP, no server, not a thing. My proposition was shot down by the CO within 2 minutes. Yet, we had a curious "network". As my fellow... colleagues had invented, we had something akin to token ring, but instead of tokens, we had low-rank personnel running around with USB sticks, and as for "rings", well, anyone could snatch up a USB-carrier and load his data and instructions to the "token". What on earth could go wrong with that system?
We got 1 USB infected with a malware from a nearby ship - I still don't know how. Said malware did the following observable actions(yes, I did some malware analysis - As I said before, I am not paid enough):
- Move the contents on any writeable media to a folder with empty (or space) name on that medium. Windows didn't show that folder, so it became "invisible" - linux/mac showed it just fine
- It created a shortcut on the root folder of said medium, right to the malware. Executing the shortcut executed the malware and opened a new window with the "hidden" folder.
Childishly simple, right? If only you knew. If only you knew the horrors, the loss of faith in humanity (which is really bad when you have access to munitions, explosives and heavy weaponry).
People executed the malware ON PURPOSE. Some actually DISABLED their AV to "access their files". I ran amok for an entire WEEK to try to keep this contained. But... I underestimated the USB-token-ring-whatever protocol's speed and the strength of a user's stupidity. PCs that I cleaned got infected AGAIN within HOURS.
I had to address the CO to order total shutdown, USB and PC turnover to me. I spent the most fun weekend cleaning 20-30 PCs and 9 USBs. What fun!
What fun, morons. Now I'll have nightmares of those days again.9
Keep it simple, stupid.
At the beginning the project is nothing but an idea. If you get it off the ground, that's already a huge success. Rich features and code quality should be the last of your worries in this case.
Throw out any secondary functionality out the window from day 0. Make it work, then add flowers and shit (note to self: need to make way for flowers and shit).
Nevertheless code quality is an important factor, if you can afford it. The top important things I outline in any new non-trivial project:
1. Spend 1-2 days bootstrapping it for best fit to the task, and well designed security, mocking, testing and extensibility.
2. Choose a stack that you'll most likely find good cheap devs for, in that region where you'll look in, but also a stack that will allow you to spend most of your time writing software rather than learning to code in it.
3. Talk to peers. Listen when they tell that your idea is stupid. Listen to why it's stupid, re-assess, because it most probably is stupid in this case.
4. Give yourself a good pep talk every morning, convincing you that the choices you've made starting this project are the right ones and that they'll bring you to success. Because if you started such a project already, the most efficient way to kill it is to doubt your core decisions.
Once it's working badly and with a ton of bugs, you've already succeeded in actually making it work, and then you can tackle the bugs and improvements.
Some dev is going to hate you for creating something horrific, but that horrific thing will work, and it's what will give another developer a maintenance job. Which is FAR, far more than most would get by focusing on quality and features from day 0.9
I was once working for a company as a part time dev in the centrum of my city.
After working there for almost 1 year I noticed that I didn't get paid the last 2 months. I think it was about 500 euro's. (1 day per week).
So I went on my bike to the company to see whatsup. I came into the store and told my boss I hadn't been paid for 2 months. Even tho I did work.
He then got so angry! Just started yelling "YEAH BECAUSE THE PROJECT ISNT NEAR COMPLETE, NOTHING IS WORKING" I explained him the panel still had to be configured and that everything he asked me to do had been programmed and he then fucking told me he wanted it a different way even tho we clearly discussed it WEEKS AGO and he clearly said what he wanted. so he wanted dont revisions. I told him that this is not possible at this moment because holidays are around the corner and I want to go om vacation. (and he too!!!)
He then got so fucking angry he said "come with me for a second" we walk to the door of the building and then he just pushed me out of there and kicked me in my back.
I got so fucking pissed, I opened the door and asked him if je thinks this is a normal way to discuss. He closed the store door again, and I couldnt hold back anymore. I threw my full can of Red Bull against the glass door. The can exploded, and his whole fucking window had energy drink on it. He took some fucking steal pipe, so I walked back. But while trying to get away I jumped on his store sign. Which broke into pieces (they are quite expanasive). He came outside with his fucking pipe and he was trying to hit me. We had a crowd and people started yelling at him. I walked away but the asshole took my bike and put it inside his store. So that I couldnt leave.
So than I called the cops and reported him. For minor assault and some other things. Shortly after I deleted the entire project from his stupid server.
I really dont know this kinda shit happends, he probably felt like I didn't deserve that money even tho I did everything he asked for within deadline. Trying to solve it after vacation was also not an option. I signed him up for a few news letters after that.11
Part of the new hire process was all salaried employees had to work all hourly position jobs for a day (over a several week period, not all in one day) to really understand what we do.
I once hazed a new network admin who was working in the call center and I sent his station a pop-up message:
“Ha! Fire me will you!! I planted this virus and if you don’t enter the password in 60 seconds I will erase the database.” The pop-up had a counter counting down from 60.
This was over the lunch hour, so all the supervisors and managers were away and ‘Mark’ in a panic ran into our office (I was hiding under my desk)
Mark: GUYS!!...GUYS!!!....OMG!….Where the frack is everybody?!!!”
He runs out.
I peek out the door window and about a second later he’s running down the hall with one of the vice presidents. Mark shows the VP the message, VP looks over at our office, sees me…laughs and walks back to his office (not saying much to Mark).
Mark not knowing what’s going on watches the counter…3...2…1….
”Just kidding. Welcome to the company!”
Ahhh…the repeated sounds of “You son of a -bleep-!!” never sounded so sweet.1
When I was 23 or so, I worked nights in a tier-1 control room. Each workstation had a win98 desktop, and two HPUX workstations running CDE. I read all of the lord of the rings in text files on the HPUX machines, and since it was in an xterm window, my supervisor thought I was just tailing logs.7
Background: I'm proficient at PowerShell, I was told that I got hired to my previous job (as DevOps engineer) mainly because of that skill.
Few months after I started I wrote a script to automate some processes. My boss saw the script and told me that it was too complicated, and that I should make it more simple.
Now I'm all into clean code, meaningful names, small functions.
So the code was readable and maintainable.
I asked him in what way is it complicated. He didn't know exactly. (Later I figured that he didn't know of some of the (built-in) cmdlets and functions I used.)
He raised his hand high and made a gesture and explained that I'm "that high (skill? enthusiasm?)", then lowered his hand to a lower position to mark the bottom line, then raised it up half way up and said that he wants me here - in the middle.
After that he added: "This is not Microsoft! and we don't own the 3 other buildings that can be seen from our office window" and pointed at the window.
I was surprised by his comment, I didn't know how to respond.
I've got more stories to share about that workplace.
I can't believe I stayed at that place for 1 year and 2 months.16
Web Development on a single laptop is tough....
Window 1: editor, tabs for markup, styles, server, terminal
Window 2: browser...so small that everything is in low res mode, if not mobile.
Window 3: database, stress testing system and making sure data flows properly.
Window 4: design specs.
I blocked my window to prevent light from coming in anddddd when I woke up today I thought it was nighttime still... It's 1 pm now.4
An excerpt from the best rant about whiteboard interviews posted on the internet. Ever.
"Well, maybe your maximum subsequence problem is a truly shitty interview problem. You are putting your interview candidate in a situation where their employment hinges on a trivia question. — Kadane's algorithm! They know it, or they don't. If they do, then congratulations, you just met an engineer that recently studied Kadane's algorithm.
Which any other reasonably competent programmer could do by reading Wikipedia.
And if they don't, well, that just proves how smart the interviewer is. At which point the interviewer will be sure to tell you how many people couldn't answer his trivially simple interview question.
Find a spanning tree across a graph where the edges have minimal weight. Maybe one programmer in ten thousand — and I’m being generous — has ever implemented this algorithm in production code. There are only a few highly specific vertical fields in the industry that have a use for it. Despite the fact that next to no one uses it, the question must be asked during job interviews, and you must write production-quality code without looking it up, because surely you know Kruskal’s algorithm; it’s trivial.
Question: why are manhole covers round? Answer: they’re not just round, if you live in London; they're triangular and rectangular and a bunch of other shapes. Why is your interview question broken? Why did you just crib an interview question without researching whether its internal assumption was correct? Do you think that “round manhole covers are easier to roll" is a good answer? Have you ever tried to roll an iron coin that weighs up to 300 pounds? Did you survive? Do you think that “manhole covers are circular so that they don’t fall into manholes” is a good answer? Do you know what a curve of constant width is? Do you know what a Reuleaux triangle is? Have you ever even been to London?
If the purpose of interviewing was to play stump the candidate, I’d just ask you questions from my area of specialization. “What are the windowing conditions which, during the lapping operation on a modified discrete cosine transform, guarantee that the resynthesis achieves perfect reconstruction?” The answer of course is the Princen-Bradley condition! Everyone knows that’s when your windowing function satisfies the conditions h(k)2+h(k+N)2=1 (the lapping regions of the window, squared, should sum to one) and h(k)=h(2N−1−k) (the window should be symmetric). That’s fundamental computer science. So obvious, even a child should know the answer to that one. It’s trivial. You embarrass your entire extended family with your galactic stupidity, which is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range:"
Author: John Byrd
So, there is this guy whose arguments on "How Apple is bad" are
1) "while copying files in Finder, you don't see a speed graph (like in Windows)"
2) "MacBooks don't have a Touchscreen"
3) "it's slow"
4) "you can't play games (like GTA V)"
5) "having app menus always on the top of the screen instead of in every window makes no sense"
Arguments on "why Linux is bad":
1) "it's ugly"
2) no gaming (same as point 4 above)
3)... And other biased irrelevant shit
Yet his amazing old Windows 10 computer with the most recent Insider build has only a 65% chance of booting on the first attempt. Almost nothing works properly on his hardware yet he always blames something unrelated to him.
Recently I was having trouble with the workplace wifi (for few minutes I wasn't having full speed like he on the other side of the room had), and his reaction "aha, it's your macOS, never working".
Like wtf. I don't hate Windows or I don't love Linux, but I night hate him for being an arrogant cunt and I want to punch his face.9
Do you want to really annoy the hell out of someone?
1. JIRA account for you
2. JIRA account for the victim
3. JIRA app on victim's phone
1. Create a ticket and assign / add victim as watcher.
2. Open your favorite IDE or editor with any of your favorite projects with lots of files with minimal sizes.
3. Drag the folder and drop into JIRA ticket window.
4. Enjoy 😎
Don't ask me how I figured this out 😁6
Maybe this is my retribution for participating in yesterday's rant about public transportation.
Saturday morning, I had an 🥚and 🍌. I was happy.
I went out to meet with my GF.
I got a window seat on bus.
The seat on my left was empty for few stops.
A mudafucka big kid came and sit beside me.
I was like, cool, heyyo kid. Not some greasy old dudes or ready to slap chicks.
Oh boy can I be wronger?
The mudafucka big kid started with right butt scratch using right hand.
Then followed up by left butt scratch with left hand.
And then did a wiggly body scratching using his seat like an alien snake.
I got itchy looking at him.
Also I said big two times because he spread his big thighs so wide it took 1/3 of my seat.
And now playing loud ass games on his phone.
Not a good sign for my Saturday.1
>Instructions in the manual -
1. Install Python 3.5
2. After installation is complete, open a new terminal/command prompt window and run 'pip install pandas'
1. Installs Python 3.7.2
2. Types Python in command prompt, types 'pip install pandas' there
3. Raises a hue and cry over the program not working because the instructions were not clear
TMUX. The best thing EVER.
These days I can go around with my trusty 64GB USB3.0 flash drive, boot Linux off it, and use the VT to start Tmux.
Window 0: Editing
Window 1: Build testing
Window 2: CMakeLists.txt editing
Window 3: Web (Lynx!)
Window 4: Research (Manpages and Info)
Window 5: Music (CMus!)
I can launch the whole thing with a quick script. I don't even need to open the GUI. Everything is accessible from the VT.1
Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.
The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.
I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.
So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.
So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.
Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.
How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.7
! exactly dev
I'd ditched Windows and spent a while exploring the Linux ecosystem for content creation. And I have to say, it was not a nice experience.
As much as I respect the Linux mantra of "free as in freedom" and "you need to roll up your sleeves and figure out stuff on your own", it just isn't good enough for non-dev work. Sorry guys, but I need software that gets out of my way and at least does what it's supposed to do. I can't stand a horrible UI or delays and random crashes, which is exactly what happens with most things under Linux.
To replace my Windows workflow I used the following:
1. Windows -> elementaryOS (because Debian/Ubuntu repositories seem to have the best software support, and elementaryOS is the least horrible looking thing that supports that) and then Arch, because, well, Arch.
2. Blender + Maya -> Blender + Maya on Linux.
3. Reaper + FL Studio -> Ardour + LMMS.
4. Photoshop -> GIMP + Krita + Inkscape.
5. ZBrush -> nothing :(
As you can see, my use cases are pretty much all over the spectrum.
Firstly, installing and configuring stuff. A pleasure on Windows, an absolute pain on Linux. Everything just worked on Windows, I had to wrestle with library versions and patches and unstable audio layers (Linux audio just sucks, except for JACK) on Linux.
Out of these, Blender and Maya were the best experience. But even then, both would suffer from random crashes that just didn't happen on Windows.
Ardour is actually really nice when it works. Its use of JACK for routing makes it really really flexible, but it just isn't stable enough to depend on. LMMS is utter crap. I'm sorry, but I just hate the UI. Can't stand it.
GIMP, Krita, and Inkscape can't beat Photoshop, even when you consider them together. Adobe software workflow is just so much better and more intuitive.
Blender 3D sculpting is not bad, but it's nowhere as good as ZBrush.
Also, if you're a C++ dev like me, nothing beats Visual Studio 2017. Nothing. That IDE just blows everything else out of the water. Even VSCode. And it's not slow at all, it handled a fairly large project (PBRTv3) just fine on my Windows development VM. Yes, a VM.
So...I ditched Linux and went back to Windows, but I keep Linux as a VM for when I actually want to mess with Blender or Ardour. Or some dev stuff which Windows sucks at (which is becoming less frequent because of WSL).
Out of all the above, the only one I'd consider ready for production use would be Blender. Developers of open source software, please learn from Blender. Kickass UI and user friendly operation is extremely important, you can't make a random window with GTK buttons and text boxes and arcane config files and expect people to use it for serious work.
Also, Windows beats Linux hands down as an everyday OS. It's always been rock solid, if you take care of it properly (and that goes for any OS). Updates hardly take any time because I run it on a SSD. As for all the advertising and marketing bullshit, you can block a large amount of stuff. And for what can't be blocked, well, I just have to live with it, because the alternative is compromising on my creative output, which is too much for me.
I still run Linux on my server, though. And on my embedded devices (Pi, BeagleBone, etc.). It absolutely rocks there.
I realize that Linux software is not going to improve unless we do something about it, so I'll be contributing fixes and code (the joys of being a C++ dev, yay). Still, I feel that the platform and software as a whole is just not mature enough.18
Currently trying to convert a Python (2.7) framework into its C++. Surprise, surprise, the C++ APIs are also all deprecated
"Here's a guide to creating your project using our non-deprecated framework, except it will still call our deprecated methods under the hood"
Additionally, I had to make this framework work with OpenCV, which was complaining about my C++ framework being deprecated and not being able to link to missing modules (which were already installed).
All of this has eaten 4 hours of my life, I could as well throw the laptop out of the window
"Try reinstalling the missing modules separately"
*installation takes less than 1 minute*
*runs build again, everything work*
I'm done for today *flies away in desperation*
The Cloud Of Bullshit
Every day I wake, and I think of my one true mission in life. To mock and ridicule paint huffing idiots. Something recently that drew my ire, like the hemorrhoids on my ass is this idea of 'the cloud', THE CLOUD and the buzzword lingo-bingo bullshit that providers use to hype and sell it.
For example, airtable is an amazing service. I love that I can insert just about anything into a row, create any of my own row datatypes, that it's flexible as all hell.
I love it.
And I hate that I'm essentially locked in to the cloud.
I fucking hate how if my internet goes down (thanks you pie eating inbred dipshits at comcast) I have no access.
If the company is bought, they'll shut down like all the rest , to be "relaunched at a later time" (or never).
I hate that if the company doesn't make enough money, or it's investors change their mind, woopsie, service is shut down.
I hate that the cloud is synonymous with massive data leaks and IOT-levels of stupidity in security practices.
Every time someone says "but its in the cloud! Isn't it amazing!"
I always think 1. YEAH IF IM AN INVESTOR I GET TO MILK LOW BROW FINGER PAINTING FUCKWITS EVERY MONTH like Adobe sucking the blood from infants who are still in college.
2. Why? So I can get locked into their platform, have them segment off previously free features (fucking youtube and the 'subscribe so you can continue playing audio with your screen off' bullshit), and then have fees increase month over month?
3. Why, so every four years during the presidential selection, if I piss off some fuckstick braindead lemming literally sucking his girlfriends BFs cock, they can potentially shut me out from my own data completely?
The Cloud is built on shit-colored hype sold to knob gobbling idiots, controlling idiots, profiting at the expense of idiots, and later fucking them for buyout payola. The Cloud is a Cloud of Bullshit shat out by huckster messiahs straight into the lapping mouths of fanatics worshiping slavishly like toilet drinking scum at the porcelain alter of a neon god, invisible, untouchable, and like a spigot, easily shut off without anyone noticing. And when it happens, I'll be there, shouting "WHERE IS YOUR CLOUD NOW?"
Native any day. 100% native or I don't fucking want it
None of this node.js-gone-native bullshit either with notetaking apps taking up hundreds of megabytes of ram, where everything is bootstrap or react, in a browser, in a window container, because people are so fucking incompetent we have to hold their hand WHILE they give themselves a reach around.
Native or nothing.
For my favorite notetaking app, I use Microsoft OneNote. "OH god, a heathen, quick, stick his body up on a stake!"
But hear me out. I'll be the first one in a crowd to kick bill gates in the nuts (not because I particularly hate microsoft, just because I think hes kind of a cunt).
So when I say onenote is good, I really fucking mean it. Sure they did some cunty things like 'dumbed down' the interface, and cut out some options. But you know what they can't do?
Shut down the damn service (short of a system update completely removing the whole app, which, frankly, wouldn't surprise me).
It's so god damn good it waxed my balls, cured my cancer, fixed my relationship with my father, found my long lost brother, and replaced ALL my irl notebooks.
It's so good that if it was cocaine I'd be hospitalized for overusing it.
So god damn good it didn't just replace all my notebooks, it even replaced and sped up my mockup process three to five times. Want layers?
Built in. Just drag an image on to the notebook to import instantly.
Want to rearrange layers? Right click select "send forward/back/bring to front/send to back".
Everything snaps to grid by default and is easily resizeable.
I had all the elements for a UI sliced and diced. Wanted to try a bunch of layouts. Was gonna take me two damn days.
Did it in three hours with the notebook features of onenote.
After I started using onenote, me and my bodypillow finally conceived even.
Sweet marries mammaries I just fucking jizzed. Thank you onenote.
P.s. It really did speed up my UI design, allows annotated images, highlighted text. Shit, it can even do kanban.
And all I can think is "good job microsoft making an awesome product for free, being dumb as fuck for not charging for it, and then not marketing it at ALL."
It was sheer fucking luck that I discovered it while was I was looking for vendor STD bloatware to blast off my new install.
OneNote: Worth a try even for the kick-gates-in-the-nuts fan club.
The cloud can suck my balls.21
Well I FUCKING FINALLY managed to build a program that makes my dad's printer print automatically.
Have ranted about this on my previous rant.
My recent approach was actually overengineered all over the top. I was using pyautogui to simulate the mouse that would call the settings window on Windows, which would print a nozzle test (the translation for "Düsentestmuster" according to google?). The more I worked with it, the more I would have had to care about edge cases when calling the settings and god knows what else...😖
So I left the idea.
What I came up with was a python script with some copy-pasted code of an example from the win32print api that printed an image that I specified, so it would use all inks. Somehow it works perfectly...
After that I used the win32api. ShellExecute() with ghostscript to print a PDF for the PGBK ink.
Finally a batch script to run this python script on the task scheduler. No converted .exe as dependencies and whatnot let it all go to hell.😒
It's not quite what I had originally anticipated as a solution but IT FINALLY FUCKING WORKS!!
...😪 It took way longer than expected and although I somehow couldn't manage to print all on 1 paper, I'm still satisfied that it really works.
That's all, had to vent my frustration and share this personal success.12
Was forced to do some work on Windows this week (CAD tools that runs only on Windows). I spent a few days just setting up the tools. There were quite a few things I realized I forgot about Windows (as compared to Linux).
1) Installation times are down right horrific. What exactly are the installer doing for 10 minutes?
2) .NET is a cluster fuck. Not even Microsofts repair tool can fix it, but rather just hangs. I ended up using another tool to nuke it and reinstall.
3) Windows binary installs are insanely huge, thus, takes forever to download.
4) The registry is a pointless database that must have been written in hell with the single intent of destroying users will to live. The sole existence of the registry is another proof that completely incompetent engineers designed Windows.
5) Rebooting is the only way to solve many problems. This is another sure sign of a fundamentally fucked up OS design.
6) What the heck is wrong with the GUIs designers? The control panel must be the worst design ever. There are so many levels to get to a particular setting I'm getting dizzy. Nothing gets better by the illogical organisation.
7) Windows networking. A perversion of the tcp/ip stack that makes it virtually impossible to understand a damn thing about the current network configuration. There are at least 3 different places that effects the settings.
8) Windows command prompt. Why did they even bother to leave it in? The interpreter is as intelligent as retarded donut. You can't do anything with it, except typing "exit" and Google for another solution.
8) Updates. Why does it takes hundreds of updates per month to keep that thing safe?
9) Despite all updates that is flying out of Redmond like confetti, it is still necessary to install antivirus to keep the damn thing safe. That cost extra money, and further cost you by degrading performance of your hardware.
10) Window performance. Software runs like it was swimming in molasses. The final stab in the back on your hardware investment, and pretty much sends performance on your hardware back a few hundred bucks more.
11) Closed source is evil. If something crash consistently, you might find a forum that address the issues you have. Otherwise you're out of luck. On the other hand, it might be for the better. I imagine reading the code for Windows can lead to severe depression.
I'm lucky to be a Linux dev, and should probably not complain too much... But really, Windows, go get yourself hit by a truck and die. I won't miss you.14
@JoshBent and @nikola1402 requested a tutorial for installing i3wm in a windows subsystem for linux. Here it is. I have to say though, I'm no expert in windows nor linux, and all I'm going to put here is the result of duckduck searches, reddit and documentation. As you will see, it isn't very difficult.
First things first: Install WSL. It's easy and there's a ton of good tutorials on this. I think I used this one: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/...
Once you got it installed, I guess it would be better to run "sudo apt-get update" to make sure we don't encounter many problems.
Install a windows X server: X is what handles the graphical interface in linux, and it works with the client/server paradigm. So what we'll do with this is provide the linux client we want to use (in this case i3wm) with an X server for it on windows. I guess any X server will do the work, but I highly recommend vcXsrv. You can download it here:
for i3 just "sudo apt-get install i3"
Configurations to make stuff work:
open your ~/.bashrc file ("nano ~/.bashrc" vim is cool too). You'll have to add the following lines to the end of it:
export DISPLAY=:0.0 #This display variable points to the windows X server for our linux clients to use it.
export XDG_RUNTIME_DIR=$HOME/xdg #This is a temporary directory X will use
sudo mkdir /var/run/dbus #part of the dbus fix
sudo dbus-daemon --config-file=/usr/share/dbus-1/system.conf #part of the dbus fix
Ok so after this we'll have a functional x client/server configuration. You'll just have to install your desktop enviroment of choice. I only installed i3wm, but I've seen unity and xfce working on the WSL too. There are still some files that X will miss though.
*** Here we'll add some files X would miss and :
With "nano ~/.xinitrc" edit the xinitrc to your liking. I only added this:
Then run "sudo chmod +x ~/.xinitrc" to make it an excecutable.
Then, to make a linking file named xsession, run:
"ln -s ~/.xinitrc ~/.xsession"
Now you'll be able to run whatever you put in ~/.xinirc with:
"dbus-launch --exit-with-session ~/.xsession"
There's a ton of personalisation to be done, but that would be a whole new tutorial. I'll just share a github repo with my dotfiles so you can see them here:
SHIT I ALMOST FORGOT:
Everytime you open any graphical interface you'll need to have the x server running. With vcXsrv, you can use X launch. Choose the options with no othe programs running on the X server. I recommend using "one window without title bar".10
Stories from a Startup #1
CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.
After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...
"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"2
Which monitors like that can you do that too ?
Because the last time I checked, no one could confirm that they would work in portrait mode, I could only find confirmations that they didn't work that way !
Otherwise, I was keen to get one as I've a bit of spare space on my desk for a longer PDF viewer..
And whilst I'm at it..
Why make a touch screen monitor that you can't use as a second monitor without it taking focus away from your primary monitor !
(I hear there is expensive software to give you dual cursors, assuming it works.. but why doesn't the OS do that off the shelf for free ! (Well, not free, because you spend an arm N' leg buying that OS, usually if its Windows..))
I guess no one does a long monitor like that, which is also touch, or is that asking too much. :-)
And another thing !
Why let me type all of this, and then only tell me:
Right now you can only add 1 rant every 2 hours (every 1 hour for devRant++ members) because we want to make sure everyone's content gets good exposure
Shouldn't you tell me that before I start typing something !
Yes I know it says:
simply closing the post rant window will save the text of your rant locally so you can post it later.
We all know what local copies like to do when we turn our backs, vanish with a BSOD !10
Today was a manic-depressive kind of day. Spent the morning helping some developers with getting their code to run a stored procedure to drop old partitions, but it wasn't working on their end. It was a fairly simple proc. But working with partitions is a little like working with an array. I figured out that they were passing the wrong timestamp, and needed to add +1 to delete the right partition. Got that sorted out, and things were good. Lunch time.
After lunch I did some busy work, and then the PO comes up at about 2PM and says he's assigned some requests to me. The first was just attaching some scripts. Easy. The second, the user wants a couple of schemas exported ... at 6PM. I've been in the office since 6:45AM.
While I'm setting up some commands to run for the data export, a BA walks up and asks if I'm filling in for another DBA who is out for a few weeks. Yep. There's a change request that hasn't been assigned, and he normally does the work. I ask when it's due. Well, the pre-implementation was supposed to be done in the morning, but it wasn't, and we're in the implementation window ... half way through. I bring up the change task, and look at. Create new schema and users. That's all it says. The BA laughs. I tell I need more to go on. 10 minutes later he sends an email with the information. There's only two hours left in the window, and I can only use half of it, because the production guys have to their stuff, and we're in their window. Now I'm irritated, because I'm new to Oracle, and it's an unforgiving mistress. Fortunately, another DBA says he'll do it, so that we can get it done in time. But can't work it either, because Dev DBAs don't have access to QA, and the process required access for this task. Gets shelved until the access issue is resolved. It's now after 4:15PM. I'm going to in traffic with that 6PM deadline.
I manage to get home and to the computer by 5:45PM. Log in. Start VPN. Box pops on screen. Java needs to update. I chose skip update. Box pops up again. It won't let me log in until Java is current. Passed.
I finally get logged in, and it's 6:10PM. I'm late getting the job started. I pull up Putty and log into the first box, and paste my pre-prepared command in the command line and hit error. Command not found. I'm tired, so it's a moment to sink in. I don't have time for this.
I log into DBArtisan and pull up the first data base, use the wizard to set the job, and off it goes. Yay. Bring up the second database, and have enter the connect info. Host not found. Wut? Examine host name. Yep, it's correct. Try a different method. Host not found. Go back to Putty. Log in. Past string. Launch. Command not found. Now my brain is quitting on me. Why now? It's after 6:30PM. Fiddle with some settings, reset $Oracle home. Try again. Yay. It works. I'm done. It's after 7PM.
There is nothing like technology to snatch the euphoria of a success away from you. It's a love-hate thing, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. I'm done. Good night.3
Before going home, decided to do an upgrade from ubuntu 16.04 to 18.04...
Leave it to do its charm.
*a morning later*
See laptop on off state, "hmm..."
Turning in on, *press power buton*
Booting... Purple-ish screen appear.. Nothing happened for 20 minutes.
Hard reboot, going to grub menu,
2. Advance option
"root mount not found, bla bla bla
15 chrome tabs later (on mobile),
Do something on shit...
Finally proceed to login screen.
Insert password, enter.
Loading... Blank... 3 seconds later, tadaaa.. Going back to login screen.
Do it trice, I'm stuck at login screen.
20 chrome tabs later,
Finally got in. Have a "what's new" screen.
Ok, feels different... But its slow af. Hmm maybe reboot will do something.
Login screen, insert password, enter..
3 seconds later..
Bam. Going back to login screen...
Another chrome tabs later... Resolved the issue.
And finally I can take a breath, but still has a headache because of little thing likes:
1. Right click not working
2. Workspace not work as expected likes in 16.04
3. Screenshot behavior
4. No animation When moving a window to another workspace.
When almost anything is solved and I'm ready to do my works, I just realised something..
I just wasted 4 hours of my workday.
Installed Unity for a game I'm working on. Realized I didn't reinstall VS when my SSD got corrupted. Didn't install VS plugin w/ Unity.
So now I have MonoDevelop. It's not a bad editor, but PLEASE. IF YOU ARE GOING TO HIGHLIGHT A FUNCTION WITH RED BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST IN THE CLASS, THEN TELL ME, WHAT THE FUCK EXISTS IN THE CLASS!
Unity's JS implementation is terrible.
First, let's throw basic syntax shit out on the window. string.toUpperCase? Nah, let's make it string.ToUpperCase to annoy the shit out of devs.
AND SOME OF THE STANDARD FUNCTIONS ARENT EVEN FUCKING WORKING!
Need to use parseInt(string, 2)? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF, BECAUSE WE DIDNT IMPLEMENT THAT SHIT.
...or use C# I guess...
1. Windows or any Microsoft implementation of anything
5. Any window manager that takes up more than 100mb of ram
6. Internet service providers
7. JS or any client side browser code
9. Chrome or any browser that is not Firefox or another Netscape derivative. Some notable exceptions like lynx.
11. Facebook/google botnet
12. Proprietary text editors or any text editor that is not vim or emacs.
13. Users who don't stand for their principals
These bad things are bad. You must not use bad things. Because they are bad. Don't use bad things.97
2017 has ended and I want to throw this fucking rock of anger with it out of the Window.
I will tell you how my last 3 to 4 years as private IT Guy (IT Dumpster) for everything was.
My Gaming Community:
It was so fucking retarded that I would like to punch everyone there in the face over a thousand times.
Seriously there are over 60 People in that Community and they take every shit for granted and only cry about everything.
I'm Paying since 4 Years over 60 € for our Server every month. Some people donated some small bucks over the time and in the end it was around 150 € Donations over 4 years.
Im thankful for the Donations, but these people really think that they can demand for this Donations private Gameservers for over years for free or think that they now own the Servers. WTF?? FUCK YOU!!
Im managing 2 Linux Server with Web, MySQL, Voice and Gameserver. What did 1 guy donate? 10 € for 4 years, thats around 15% for just a month. You would get our Teamspeak for 7 Days for that price idiots!!
I did all the damn Webdev and am now writing a App in Kotlin for Android man!!
Since last everybody in the Community gets on my nerves, because they are so ignorant and dont appreciate the work of others 😡.
My Association where I support the hole IT with a friend:
We decided in the commitee that we would take on major changes in our infrastructure.
We need to finish the barebone concept in the end of January 18.
Early December 17 I wrote my friend, that we need to have a meeting and plan everything.
Well, now I mostly designed the roadmap by myself and didnt receive any reply from my friend 💀.
I really dont understand why the shit always sticks at me and I need to finish it.
I really love to code something, install or repair PC's with joy or manage Server but the people around me are in my free time like poison and they take out my fun for it.
The only fun and enjoyable IT Part for me is at my fulltime job. Thats the only good place left for me as Safe Heaven and the people there really appreciate my knowledge and work I do.7
1. A login window or form appears
2. Enter username
3. Enter p-
4. Another application STEALS THE FUCKING FOCUS
5. Enter half of the (or the whole) password in the app that stealed the focus and press Enter by mere inertia
Or this variant:
4. The username field gets autofocused
5. Enter the password in the username field, out in the clear for everyone to see
DON'T YOU STEAL ME FOCKING FOCUS MATE3
I am currently looking for a DAW (Digital Audio Workstation), because my music projects are starting to get a little too complex for Audacity.
So I started looking for a good, easy-to-learn, ideally free program, and quickly learned that Avid now has a free version of Pro Tools called First.
So I go to their site and fill out the registration form to get the download. In addition to creating an account with Avid, you also need to create one with iLok, which apparently has something to do with how they manage their licenses. Kinda overkill for a free program, but okay...
I download the program (about 3gigs...), install it and try to start it. It gives me an error message about missing some service. Okay? I'm confused because I notice that an 'Application Manager' service has appeared in my tray, and when I open that I can log into my new account just fine. But it still doesn't work.
There's a link in the error message to the iLok website, and it looks like ai need to dowload and install another component. Why didn't that get installed with the program if it's required?
So I go to the iLok site, download it and install it. Pro Tools First still won't start. I realize that the PTF installer asked me to reboot, which I didn't do because: a) I always have a lot of windows open, and b) How often is a reboot ACTUALLY required? Why would you need to reboot?
So I (begrudgingly) reboot, and now the program seems to start initializing... but then it throws an error message about some plugin that it can't load because it doesn't work for the 64 bit version. Then... why are you even looking for it?
And then it says something like: 'I can't handle that, I'm just gonna shut down'.
I try starting it again. Same error appears, but then it gets past it this time... Only to throw another error message about something else it can't load, and therefore it must shut down.
Third time is the charm, the program actually made it to the project create/load screen! Huzzah!
So I look around a bit, but don't do much. It doesn't seem too intuitive to me, so I start watching some tutorials on YouTube from Avid themselves. It's a little late by now, so I don't get my hands dirty that day.
Next time I want to try out the program I start it up, still get error messages, but it does seem to initialize okay. But then the 'Create project' button doesn't react when I press it.
It turns out that the program takes a looong time to log in to the avid account, even though the manager service is running and logged in...
When it finally logs on I create a new blank project, but it doesn't ask me where to save it to. I see there is a counter saying 1/3 and looking around I find some info about 'cloud based projects'.
It would seem that this program only supports saving projects to the cloud, and you get only 3 projects total. Three. THREE?
I add an instrument track to my new project and select the one and only plugin, which is a synth. I don't see the plugin window, like in the tutorials I watched. I fiddle around with the windows, but I only manage to get the layout fucked up. There's a handy 'Window' menu, but none of the options resets the view. The main window is now sporting a WINDOWS FUCKING 7 BORDER! And partially blocking the view of the top menu.
Frustrated, I shut the program down and restart it. I now select one of the project templates (after waiting for it to LOG IN AGAIN!) in the hope that I might have a bit more luck with that starting point.
But when the template has loaded, out of nowhere, the program goes from maximized to windowed mode! And the fucking Win7 border is back again, still messing with the main menu!
I get the sucker maximized again and select one of the synth tracks, and Lo and Behold! The synth plugin window actually shows up! But of course there is no sound produced when I play, neither with the keyboard or my midi keyboard.
Oh no, that would have been too easy.
I see some the meters moving when I play, but no sound is produced. I check the options menu, but find out nothing useful except for the fact that the program only support 48kHz sample rate. That's pretty disappointing when you have a 192kHz/24bit soundcard.
I'm done. This piece of shit software is NOT for me. It's bloated, complicated to sign up for and install, extremely limited and buggy as hell!
The final insult is that it takes 5 minutes to uninstall because there is no uninstall option in the so-called 'Application Manager' (of course fucking not!), and doing it through Programs & Features there are 5 (FIVE!!) different apps and services to uninstall, one by one.
0/10, would not recommend.11
Anybody who is crying for slow machine issue. You can do this think.
1. Replace your HDD with ssd (256gb in 3500 INR)
2. buy DVD shape hdd holder (cost 700 INR)
3. replace DVD with this case
No need to worry about data backup
My boot time of window 10
3 mins to 15sec20
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7
Working on 8x8 matrix for Christmas and well leds are fucking bright and green. Damn and im gonna put this in fucking window. Well this shit is gonna blind them. And text will say "Are you crazy ? Dont look into this light. Really ? Still ? Naaah your choice."
Yeah its 2:40 AM here and thanks to 1 fucking bug that was a 2 line fix. Basically when leds turned on and off some stayed on.
All needed was to reset ALL leds to off. Ahhhhhh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Now good night.2
Looks like Google forgot how to do good UX / UI design.
Why is the text in the appbar black, but all other icons (including the lock inside the textview) white. It would make sense, if the lock would be black too (as the textview is abit lighter than the appbar).
Maps was way easier to use, before they invented MD Refresh. When you tap on a point on the map you get that info view at the bottom of the screen. Before it was a draggable window, which could be maximized with a swipe. Now you have to tap it, the box goes away and a new window appears, which is just the same as before MD-Refresh.
In "Google Tasks" the activity title is not centered for some reason.12
@dfox (this might not be the correct way to tag here, but we'll see once I post)
A few suggestions:
1. Being able to move between day, month etc. by swiping left or right
2. A web interface (to rant from a laptop/desktop)
3. Link "framing" (a-la WhatsApp, messenger, where links get a frame with a picture and description)
4. basic markdown (bold, quotes, etc. a-la Reddit. this might exist but I haven't run into it, and if it does maybe a preview window for the result would be helpful)
Really like the app, cheers!13
Am I the only developer in existence who's ever dealt with Git on Windows? What a colossal train wreck.
1. Authentication. Since there is no ssh key/git url support on Windows, you have to retype your git credentials Every Stinking Time you push. I thought Git Credential Manager was supposed to save your credentials? And this was impossible over SSH (see below). The previous developer had used an http git URL with his username and password baked in for authentication. I thought that was a horrific idea so I eventually figured out how to use a Bitbucket App password.
2. Permissions errors
In order to commit and push updates, I have to run Git for Windows as Administrator.
3. No SSH for easy git access
Here's where I confess that this is a Windows Server machine running as some form of production. Please don't slaughter me! I am not the server admin.
So, I convinced the server guy to find and install some sort of ssh service for Windows just for the off times we have to make a hot fix in production. (Don't ask, but more common than it should be.)
Sadly, this ssh access is totally useless as the git colors are all messed up, the line wrap length and window size are just weird (seems about 60 characters wide by 25 lines tall) and worse of all I can't commit/push in git via ssh because Permissions. Extremely aggravating.
4. Git on Windows hangs open and locks the index file
Finally, we manage to have Git for Windows hang quite frequently and lock the git index file, meaning that we can't do anything in git (commit, push, pull) without manually quitting these processes from task manager, then browsing to the directory and deleting the .git/index.lock file.
Putting this all together, here's the process for a pull on this production server:
Launch a VNC session to the server. Close multiple popups from different services. Ask Windows to please not "restart to install updates". Launch git for Windows. Run a git pull. If the commits to be pulled involve deleting files, the pull will fail with a permissions error. Realize you forgot to launch as Administrator. Depending on how many files were deleted in the last update, you may need to quit the application and force close the process rather than answer "n" for every "would you like to try again?" file. Relaunch Git as Administrator. Run Git pull. Finally everything works.
At this point, I'd be grateful for any tips, appreciate any sympathy, and understand any hatred. Windows Server is bad. Git on Windows is bad.11
I might be able to release my first application tomorrow. At least the first version.
Nothing special, be amazed if it gets much attention.
You specify any running processes you wish to forcefully close, in my case, games.
So any time these games start running, it's force closed.
The app also monitors the active window, of it's and IDE, like Visual Studio, it will add credit towards allowing those blocked processes to run.
Currently you get 1 credit for every minute you code.
I plan to refine it some more. And yes I know there's ways around it but, it was fun to make10
OKAY WHAT THE FUCK JAVA.
At school we were assigned the task to do Huffman's algorithm. Since I am way ahead of all the others, I made a GUI for that. (Btw, we use BlueJ for Java, it's just painful)
Now... I made a JTextField to put the output, which would be any character from 0x0 to 0xFFFF, into it.
Apparently, there is a bug in the setText method, which throws random NullPointerExceptions right into your face if you give it those Unicode characters.
So I looked it up:
It was a Bug, in JDK 1.6.something, where putting a 0xFFFF together with a 0x10000 would cause this. Now you may think, do we still have 1.6? No, we have 1.8 v171, WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT GIVE ME A NPE?! THE WORST PART IS I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!
AND IT HAS THE WORST UNDEFINED BEHAVIOR:
1. NPE, nothing else happens
2. The Text box just gets invisible, but the border stays visible + NPE
3. The box completely disappears + NPE
Try-catching it doesn't do anything, everytime I fill the box with text, one of those options happens, and the box was never to be seen again! NOT EVEN CREATING A NEW TEXT BOX AND ADDING IT TO MY WINDOW WORKS.8
Product Owner (PO) the problem with this sharing widget it loads slow and people might scroll past it.
Me: ok. Let's make it fixed on the side of the page so that it's always seen, but not intrusive.
PO: No. It's not how the brand should look. And it might cover 1% of the skin ad. Let's make our own widget.
Me: that would require to create several apps on social networks and maintain the code internally instead of using a centralised service that many people already provide. You don't have the money for that.
PO: sorry I got distracted by this bird outside the window.8
So i started an (8 month) internship in January. Team of 4 (2 senior/mid level devs + boss) plus 6 or so other people in our other office overseas. Everything was going really well IMHO. Boss's feedback for halfway through the internship was good too.
First 4/5 months were great: loved the team, got feedback and help when i needed it, wasn't stuck doing support too much, etc.
This all changed when both the devs moved to our other office. My boss works from home a lot and has frequent meetings, so i hardly see him. I have a 1 hour window first thing in the morning if i need help from the devs overseas. After that im on my own.
If i get stuck, even on something very small that a more senior dev could explain in 2 minutes, I'm stuck either unable to work or figuring it out (wasting hours of time) for the rest of the day.
On top of this, since I'm the only one around in our office, im stuck on support every week which takes hours of my time usually. Last week support ate up most of my week, which put me way behind schedule on my other work. (That was an unusually busy week of support.)
Feeling incredibly frustrated right now, just wanted to get this off my chest.12
Any other IT company is like:
* Task -> Designer -> Markup coder -> Backend -> Finish
Our IT company:
Act I: "Art of setting up contact with idiots".
*Cave scripts (aka "typical task")
Designer: -- "DAFUQ?"
Customer: *gives another interpretation*
Designer: -- "Erm... really? White text on white background?"
Customer: -- "Make a decision by yourself. I was expecting much more independence from you. You are an expert after all."
Designer: -- "Well. I'm making decision by myself. The text will be placed *here* and will be gray-colored, because *bla-bla-bla*"
Customer: -- "I disagree."
Designer: *1 hour of silence later* -- "Well...k."
Act II: "Design meets ar(u)tist"
*Something, that was drawn by dumb kid while smashing his own head against desk. (PSD layout)
* Salt (to pour it on open wounds)
Designer: -- "I'm seeing this task *this way*"
Markup: -- "And how do u think i should get this done? Have you even seen what you made?? This is bullshit!"
Designer: -- "It's not bullshit! It's a sci-fi themed layout!"
Markup: -- "With gameplay elements and graphics from Alien Shooter??"
Designer: -- "Well, I don't care." *brings new edits and changes*
Markup: -- "????"
Designer: *smug face* -- "!!!"
Act III (7 days later, 9 hours till deadline): "Short story about boy, who was trying to hang himself, but instead fell out from window."
*Markup, smelling like it went through hell and back (x1)
* Markup coder with fried butt (x1)
Backend: -- "What. Is. THAT?"
Markup: -- "It's a work we should complete in 9 hours."
Backend: -- "WE?? I know u mean me, but that's a nightmare. What the f*ck were you doing all this time?"
Markup: -- "Well..." *finds out that he was only watching films and sleeping* "I was making this thing up..."
Backend: -- "You mean "f*cking" *this* thing "up"?"
Markup: -- "Not without it"
(*3 hours of edits and changes of color from white to white later*)
Backend: -- "Well, let's do this."
*Picks PHP and tries to bundle it up with MongoDB. After some time tries to rewrite everything to JS and starts shouting something like "F***CK" and looking for window to walk through. Figures out that he is on first floor. And that he is too lazy to go upstairs*
Act IV (3 days after deadline): "Pain and misery":
*Something covered with insul(t)ating tape. (Final product)
Customer: -- "Really?"
Team: -- "Kinda."
Customer: -- "Well, thanks for your work anyway. It feels like it's going to disassemble right in my hands but it just works. Oh, also, you didnt made this in time, so your payment will be over9000 times lower. That's all"
Backend, on fluids: -- "Well...yeah..."
Markup: -- "Don't look at me like that. I really was doing my job."
Designer, with twitching eye: -- "Huh, I see. You worked so hard that we have nothing to eat now. Thanks for that."
couldnt work out today why some jquery wasn't stopping an elements width overflowing its container.
in the end after 1 and a half hours of wanting to bash my head in, I had the window expanded across both monitors and hadn't noticed the edge of the window was off the screen.
There were two of them, not sure which was completed first. One was malware, the second one -- admin tool.
These were the early XP days
1. A batch [windows] script to ease system users' mgmt. Nothing fancy, just multiple calls to usercontrol. My dad needed it for work, and there, it was born. To extend further I made it into an exe file w/ some icon. I felt very proud of it :)
2. I have already told a story of this one at dR. Anyway, it was also a batch script. Except that it was more advanced. Basicaly it was a trojan. Once executed it discovered all that computer's ip addresses and uploaded them to an ftp. Then - pulled a headless radmin installation and initiated a silent install of radmin server. Added radmin server's executable to autolaunch list so that it would come up after reboots. Once done - uploaded SUCCESS status to my ftp. And then all I had left to do - pick an ip from my ftp and enter it into radmin client's CONNECT window. I had a full controll of over a dozen of pcs2
My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball]
If you have an old computer, here's what to do:
1. Find a tall building with a window, preferably on the top floor.
2. Throw your computer out of said window.
3. Enjoy your new computer!3
1 of the many windows rants i will make since i have to use that on work's laptop.
20GB for an IDE? what a joke.
Seriously MS. Are you fucking retarded? You have a fuckin retarded windows store, and i need to open it 3 times for it to be functional? Fuck you.
I want to change the default browser. YES I FUCKIN WANT TO CHANGE IT, STOP FUCKIN ASKING ME 500 TIMES IF I'M SURE ABOUT IT AND DO THE THING I TOLD YOU TO DO. Fuck you.
2GB on startup? Thanks, appreciated. Miss my 250MB on my linux laptop. FUCK YOU.
Did i fuckin tell you i want to sync the onedrive? I clicked that shit to disable it and you decided to sync the fuck out of it? Fuck you.
Candy crash and other retarded games? LOL, can't say anything. The laptop is from the job, i won't bother uninstalling that shit. In any case MS would reinstall them again. Fuck you.
Fans at 100% for no reason and battery draining like it's a cold drink that drinks someone who is thirsty? Thanks MS, very helpful. Fuck you.
Powershell? Well i leave that. Whenever i remember how slow it is i want to throw the laptop of the window. Fuck you.
Notifications? Thanks, it's very good thing to spam them for no fucking reason. Fuck you.
Skype? Who the fuck told you to install it? Fuck you.
Well i won't say anything about their fuckin updates. Every one knows how retarded and piece of shit they are.3
AAAARGHH!!! It happens every now and then that when I open a window in a Windows application, the window opens outside the display area, on a non-existing display to the right of my primary screen. There is no other way to access the newly opened window than to go to "Screen resolution" and swap screens 1 and 2 such that the secondary screen thinks it is to the right of the primary screen (although physically it stays to the left of the primary screen). And then, once I've got hold of the window, I swap the screens back. It's just so incredibly annoying and a complete waste of time. This is staring to really get on my nerves! >:(8
I just installed the interior IM app developed by my company's IT center, the way it uses to sync messages is almost common, downloads data from server and adds those conversation to client's window, and I am sure the guys who wrote this stupid thing invoked a same function like pushing message or something else, 'cause my cellphone vibrated like a Morse code machine w/ tons of Adrenaline injected when I press "Open", for almost fucking 1 minute.
I just wanted to add my opinion about Linux. I have played around with computers since I was 5 and the last three years I have worked professionaly as a software developer. I have tried Linux many times and have to work with it regurarly on Raspberry Pi's, routers, servers etc. For two months ago I decided to try out Linux as my main desktop operating system. As my machine has some uncommon hardware (Celeron 3450) there was trouble from the start. Getting it installed wasn't as easy as just creating a bootable usb. I had to start a virtual machine and patch the iso with a script to make it bootable. I also had to install a third party bootloader, so just installing it probably took about half a day. To start off, I tried Manjaro, basically Arch with some extras. It looks great, was fast and easy on resources but I couldn't manage to install some essential tools that I needed. So I patched Linux Mint instead and installed it. I've tried all the DE's available, but unfortunatly everyone has some problem. Either it's sluggish or having screen tearing problems and/or buggy. I settled on XFCE as it seemed to work the best. Unfortunatly I have to live with horrendous screen tearing even though I tried many different window mannagers engines like compiz and metacity. Also whenever I plugged in a USB mouse, the keyboard died, requiriing a reeboot. Power settings were messed up so the laptop locked and asked for password twice sometimes and the battery life was 3 hours worse than Windows. The desktop theme bugged so window buttons (maximize, close) disappeared sometimes. I also had problems with the panel not showing when pressing the windows key, apparently that is impossible to fix. Firefox is also kinda bad, wasting like 15 pixels at the top for no reason and not offering many options though Vivaldi got this covered at least. Touchpad was weird too, didn't support gestures and had bad accuracy. During the install I was asked if I wanted to enccrypt my home folder, so I said yes. The other day I need to create a new partition and do some resiszing so I used gparted. Unforutnaly I managed to remove a partition that was encrypted, so after a reboot I coulnd't get into the OS anymore.
That was it, I used Linux Mint as my daily driver for 2 months and every single day I probably spent 0.5-1 hour fixing things. The OS was always in the way for me and what I wanted to do. Don't get me wrong. I love Linux in the sense that it is efficient and open (source) and it have basically taken over in alla areas except just desktops. The desktop experience (doesn't matter which DE) just plain sucks, or I just had bad luck.2
The charging port on my Galaxy S8 is messed up and is constantly disconnecting while charging, which results in the phone either slow charging or just got charging at all.
I thought I got the monthly phone insurance through Verizon and I was just gonna pay the deductible and get the phone replaced, but apparently I don't actually have the insurance even though I could've sworn I did. So that option is out the window.
So now I'm left with 3 other options:
1.) Pay $100 to get the charging port repaired at a local repair shop
2.) Pay off the remaining $200 I owe on the phone and get a phone upgrade from Verizon (because I am due for an upgrade)
3.) Get the upgrade but still keep my current phone on my plan and just pay the remaining $200 off monthly like I have been since I got the phone, except I'd also be paying for a second phone. Which is fine, because either way I'd be paying the $200. It's just a question of paying it in a lump sum or paying it monthly. Either works for me, it's $200 both ways
The downside of upgrading now is that I wouldn't be able to get the Galaxy S10 when that comes out, and that's what I've been waiting for as I prefer the smaller Galaxy S phones over the Galaxy Notes.
I suppose I could trade in whichever phone I get when the S10 comes out, but that would be a huge hassle and I'd have to pay at least 50% of the phone off in order for it to be eligible for trade-in
Just typed this into the Python interpreter and my whole system just froze. Guess I have to do a force shutdown.
x = list(range(1, 999999999))
So is there a way you can somehow configure your linux system such that the window manager/system is never out of memory or processor time? So that atleast I get can atleast kill the process which is freezing the system.3
"All Tech Projects Run Over Budget"
I was on a nice streak of being calm for a while and then this article just dropped today. Fuck management and fuck whichever dumbass wrote this piece of shit.
Is anyone else pissed off at this? It makes it sound like software engineers are slow and never on time, and the main reason for a project's failure is the inability of programmers to meet deadlines. I find this a little sus, especially as it's written by someone in a management position.
I would argue that projects fail because:
1. Management takes the very feasible timeline given to them and throws it out the window, opting to impose impossible deadlines instead, because FUCK your employees right?
2. Clients have requirements that can't be met (I agree w/ this from the article, but not the part about developers not accounting for issues--I always do this and everyone I know does this)
3. Technical Debt arising from when management tells the software engineers to *just do it this way because it's cheaper*
The calculator they made is nice but it's also quoting estimates that I and everyone I've spoken to agree with, so this is clearly not a software engineer problem, it's a fucking management problem. "Budget" = accounting's job.
That being said, the "take their quote and triple it" part had me dead...1
Useless JS library #0 ready.
Communication among windows in the same window group (iframes and popups with a common root), with dynamically generated objects, so it feels as though you were just calling local async methods.
Useless JS library #1 will be a layout manager, a program that manages panes and tabs, context menus, toolbars and a menubar much like Visual Studio, and let all of that communicate through Useless JS library #0.
Since JS is sloooooow, I try to make everything run the fastest possible, trading startup for runtime resource usage. #0 fulfills this, any message will take exactly 4 stops, although registering a callable method set takes .3 sec.7
Excel die you motherfucker die
1) Allow Ctrl + A and other shortcuts in formulas
2) Stop throwing an error requiring closing a window every fucking time I want to cancel writing a formula, and then another window after the first 1