Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot

Me: I can't believe

Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.

*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps

- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master

*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly

I've been slowly increasing the size of my tech manager's mouse cursor over the last month when he leaves his computer unlocked. It's about an inch tall now and he hasn't noticed yet. Everyone else in the office does and it's the best thing ever.

When Windows 10 starts updating...

Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.

Seven hours wasted on this shit :/

Double tapping on a rant little slowly opens the rant activity twice.
Happens when I try to ++ a rant by double tapping. @dfox

Slowly dying...

Took an interview today.

Me - What do you think JavaScript is interpreted or compiled.

Guy(5+ years of UI exp) - It's neither of them. It just runs on browser.

At that moment I slowly started fading away into a black hole for the absolute peace and embrace death.

Turns out, double tapping the rant too fast will not ++ it, but open it (sometimes twice even).

Not certain if it's a bug or just my shitty touchscreen, but make sure you tap more slowly if you have similar problems.

Facebook memes are slowly getting old already, but this one is hilarious.

AAAAAAHHHH OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

THE LAST 20 MINUTES WERE THE CRINGIEST OF MY LIFE!!!

THIS COWORKER TYPES AND CLICKS SO SLOWLY!!! JUST FUUUCK YOU MY FUCKING 9 YEARS OLD CLICKS A FUCKING MOUSE FASTER THEN YOU MOTHER FUCKEEEEER!!!!!

I almost lost my fucking patience this time...

I can do it! Slowly, but i can clean this shit

Slowly getting there :-)

Headphones.. I miss 'em already

Answer: Very Slowly!

And there was I struggleling with another goddamn error. Turn to a colleage and asks for help.
He looks at me. Breaths slowly. Then says.

"Dude, Jesus is your answer".

Client: "I cannot understand why the page loads so slowly"
Me: "Maybe it's because of the 68 YouTube videos you just embedded"

Talked dev with my uncle today at the dinner table. Every other family member slowly backed away in boredom and confusion as we discussed spaces vs. tabs

Another hackathon is over.

Didn't win this one either but I am slowly recognising my weaknesses and (hopefully) getting better.

A good night's sleep and I'm ready for the next one. :)

Beyond Hackathon 2017 @ Athens, Greece

Windows 10 deletes files so slowly that inadvertently it gives the impression that it's secretly sending data to three/four-letter organisations instead of the trash

I'd actually like to send some devRanters Christmas cards but that would involve me getting their addresses and I get those privacy concerns + some people would say I'm slowly collecting addresses...

Any suggestions?

Since roughly 981 Malaysians are using my app now for helping the needy. So I decided to send this message to those who use my platform , to remind them to stay strong.

Because I begin to see people are fed and slowly I believe someday we can do a better job than our government.

Client: Can you build a Webshop and make it SEO,SEM and advertising-friendly?
Me: I COULD TRY. Whats your budget?
Client: Up to 400€
At this point I slowly faded away.

Atom please!

Why does it have to be so slow? It's so pretty though. Mesmerizing even and I can never go back to sublime now.
The lag and crashes is killing me slowly, like a hot girlfriend that is somewhat crazy..

Slowly working it up now, actually.

An annually updated, unbiased, multiple source application that engineers can use to check salary offers vs their skills, to make sure they don't get shortchanged. Intended to work for the entire planet (that we have data for).

When you have to code up a massive table and you slowly start to loose the will to live😂

**office**
*knock knock*
Sorry, permission denied: only officials allowed
*sudo knock knock*
*door opens slowly*

Worked for this client until 4 o'clock at night because they needed that to be done overnight.

For two weeks they are responding slowly like a turtle. No forecast of payment yet.

May God burn them in the worst part of the hell

YAY a JOIN query (MySQL) just ran successfully at the first try for the first time of my life!! I never understood joins but slowly getting there I guess :)

Now, I am very shy and introverted.
I have always been that way.
I really hate having to socialize.
I've recently forced myself to talk more to people and it seems to work pretty well.
I may still love my computer more, but slowly I am getting better.

Best part about the covid19 manufactured crisis?
Liquor stores deliver. Worst part about liquor stores delivering? Needing to use their shoddy websites.

I've been using a particular store (Total Wines) since they're cheaper than the rest and have better selection; it's quite literally a large warehouse made to look like a store.

Their website tries really hard to look professional, too, but it's just not. It took me two days to order, and not just from lack of time -- though from working 14 hour days, that's a factor.

Signing up was difficult. Your username is an email address, but you can't use comments because the server 500s, making the ajax call produce a wonderfully ambiguous error message. It also fades the page out like it's waiting on something, but that fade is on top of the error modal too. Similar error with the password field, though I don't remember how I triggered it.

Signing up also requires agreeing to subscribe to their newsletter. it's technically an opt-in, but not opting-in doesn't allow you to proceed. Same with opting-in to receiving a text notification when your order is ready for pickup -- you also opt-in to reciving SMS spam.

Another issue: After signing up, you start to navigate through the paginated product list. Every page change scrolls you to the exact middle of the next page. Not deliberatly; the UI loads first, and the browser gets as close as it can to your previous position -- which was below that as the pagination is at the bottom -- and then the products populate after. But regardless of why, there is no worse place to start because now you must scroll in both directions to view the products. If it stayed at the very bottom, it would at least mean you only need to scroll upwards to look at everything on the page. Minor, but increasingly irritating.

Also, they have like 198 pages of spirits alone because each size is unique entry. A 50ml, 350ml, 500ml, 750ml, 1000ml, and 1750ml bottle of e.g. Tito's vodka isn't one product, it's six. and they're sorted seemingly randomly. I think it's by available stock, looking back.

If you fancy a product, you can click on it for a detail page. Said detail page lists the various sizes in a dropdown, but they're not sorted correctly either, and changing sizes triggers a page reload, which leads to another problem:

if you navigate to more than a few pages within a 10 or so second window, the site accuses you of using browser automation. No captcha here, just a "click me for five seconds" button. However, it (usually) also triggers the check on every other tab you have open after its next nagivation.

That product page also randomly doesn't work. I haven't narrowed it down, but it will randomly decide to start failing, and won't stop failing for hours. It renders the page just fine, then immediately replaces it with a blank page. When it's failing, the only way to interact with the page is a perfectly-timed [esc], which can (and usually does) break all other page functionality, too. Absolutely great when you need to re-add everything from a stale copy of your signed-out cart living in another tab. More on that later. And don't forget to slow down to bypass the "browser automation" check, too!

Oh, and if you're using container tabs, make sure to open new tabs in the SAME container, as any request from the same IP without the login cookie will usually trigger that "browser automation" response, too.

The site also randomly signs you out, but allows you to continue amassing your cart. You'd think this is a good thing until you choose to sign in again... which empties your cart. It's like they don't want to make a sale at all.

The site also randomly forgets your name, replacing it with "null." My screen currently says "Hello, null". Hello, cruft!

It took me two days to order.
Mostly from lack of time, as i've been pulling 14 hour shifts lately trying to get everything done. but the sheer number of bugs certainly wasted most of what little time i had left. Now I definitely need a drink.

But maybe putting up with all of this is worthwhile because of their loyalty program? Apparently if you spend $500, you can take $5 off your next purchase! Yay! 1%! And your points expire! There are three levels; maybe it gets better. Level zero is for everyone; $0 requirement. There are also levels at $500 and $2500. That last one is seriously 5x more than the first paid level. and what does it earn you? A 'free' magazine subscription, 'free' classes (they're usually like $20-$50 iirc), and a 'free' grab bag (a $2.99 value!) twice per month. All for spending $2500. What a steal. It reminds me of Candy Crush's 3-star system where the first two stars are trivial, and the third is usually a difficult stretch goal. But here it's just thinly-veiled manipulation with no benefit.

I can tell they're employing some "smarketing" people with big ideas (read: stolen mistakes), but it's just such a fail.

The whole thing is a fail.

I love mornings ; the dimmed light of the sun slowly rising, the stillness in the office, the smell of the freshly poured coffee and most of all, the excruciatingly loud motherfucker and his power drill.

Aaaaaah 😖

I did it ma! I installed Arch Linux! On a pendrive!! First try too! Now I just have to slowly add things I need and configure it slowly.. Goodbye weekend :')

We're slowly getting replaced D:

If anyone at your work pisses you off that isnt a dev. Slowly begin automating their tasks and soon that position wont exist!

Slowly hide the site until they pay

*Goes hiking in the woods* *Finds Bigfoot asleep* *Slowly takes out phone* *Turns it on* *Checks DevRant for rates*

I'm slowly beginning to seriously dislike all of my coworkers.

THE NEXT FUCKIN TIME I SEE SOMEONE SAY "hay, how do loop python PLZ HELP" instead of asking a goddamn search engine IM GONNA FIND YOU AND SLIP YOUR FUCKIN THROAT WHILE I KICK YOU ON YOUR FUCKIN RIBS WITH ALL MY POWER AND SLOWLY DRINK MY COFFEE AFTER THAT.

When your app run smoothly, but your boss dislike it because "loading media content is too slow".
Then you explain him that those content are downloaded, so having a slow connection means that content will load slowly.
"So? Make internet faster, you're the dev"

Coding is slowly starting become my ticket out of the military and allowing me to make a life for my family where we don't have to move every few years.

Adobe will end-of-life Flash by 2020, and all big Browsers are joining this by disabling Flash features slowly

Let's make a petition to end-of-life Electron, it is basically Flash for Desktops and it is A RESOURCE-HUNGRY LAZINESS-PROMOTING PIECE OF SHIT THAT SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE REMOVED FROM THIS VERY PLAnet.. what do you think about that particular idea?

#StopElectron2017smhOkayAtLeastBy2020Please

I just had a brainfuck moment...

Why do I charge my phone via PC USB at work (slowly) when I actually have a power bar on my desk...

*me reading @Alice 's cake recipe

"biscuits violently dismembered"
"dark as our souls."
"slowly and painfully molten butter"
"press your victim tightly against it"
"before it freezes to death"
"Put it into the oven and torture your victim"
"so it fills the hole in its heart"

Well... Wut. Da. Frigging. Heck. I've. Just. Read.

When starting a project at work:

My name everywhere. Every file, every change-list I proudly put my name to prove my skills.

Program goes for validation:

Thousands of bugs.

Realize that I've written shit code. Slowly removing my names from all over the code.

me: hey dad i finally installed linux on my laptop
dad: whats that? nvm, what i want u to do is set up a server for emails
me: *slowly backs out*

dad doesnt acknowledge the fact that im diving into linux :(

Interviewer: Do you have any experience with debuggers?
Me: *Slowly cracking a smile*
Me:

took me 3 hours to figure out why my app isnt working just so i can read my own code slowly like a retard and see this

God this code is hideous

* git blame *

Ahhhh

*slowly back away from the computer*

I'm soon graduating from a tech/IT school which recently specialized in cybersecurity.
Today when I changed my password on their website, it displayed the old one in clear text.
God damn it people, THIS is the reason why our school's reputation has been slowly but steadily going down.

Windows is open sourcing their tools slowly to attract more people. Its like trying to do all those stupid stuff to get your girl.
you just never get her.
#loner_life #windows

If it works walk away slowly and never touch the code again.

I leave this here and slowly withdraw

Alright! so it's not much but my game engine is slowly gaining actually useful features, just finished implementing a basic sprite class that now renders basic sprites!

It may not be much but kind of proud at how well I have been able to just pick up Vala from scratch and start building something!

Editing this method for half an hour. All of a sudden I realized I was editing the wrong method. This was me.

*Slowly presses CTRL-Z 100+ times*

> starts coding at a young age
> makes it my whole personality
> goes through a rough year of quarantine, graduates high school, changes changes changes

* no. coding for a super extended period of time*

now I'm slowly trying to get back into it consistently. miss you besties lol hope yall are doing ok I'm back and I'm better and also older. I think the last time I was consistently on here I was 17 lmao

I work at another bank now. I finished my first year of engineering at my uni. Ontario is slowly opening up. I'm doing better :)

I've got a brand new laptop and when the fan is spinning slowly, there is a noise like something is touching it.

I've recorded the noise, sent to the service and these people suggested a bios update. For a shitty fan noise...

I see so many rants on here about people getting upset with Windows and deciding to suddenly migrate to Linux. Am I the only one who slowly transitioned to Linux over the time span of serval years and just stopped using Windows because I wasn't really using it that much anymore and not because it did anything wrong?

looking at my uncle's webpage because he wants to switch hosts.
The logo has a white background, we want to change that.
Uncle: "It's not supposed to look like this"
Me: "the jpg file type is not transparent, you have to make something like a png."
U: *pulls up word* "hmm... I don't have that font on this laptop..."
M: *slowly loses sanity*

We work with about 7 developers at this company with 80 somewhat websites in production.

We edit changes directly trough FTP and we use ctrl+z as version control...

(yes since i started working here I've been demanding git, I'm spearheading it and we are getting there slowly)

When you think it can't get any worse you stumble across legacy what-the-actual-fuck-was-he-thinking-templates of your hopefully slowly-dying ex-coworker...

!rant
I personally feel that most social networks like Facebook are a source of depression for this generation. It's a known fact that "instant gratification", as we call it, it's slowly destroying the mental health of young minds. Do you think devRant is slowly becoming something like that? I see people only posting memes, popular jokes, or self-praising posts these days (no offence). I truly love devRant for what it is, and I don't want it to become another generic social media platform (even though it's within the developer community) :(

Well im slowly getting there, but i still dont understand why does my wife want me to make her cam...

imagine your ego being more important than doing something the right way

welcome to corporate hell

this is one of the top reasons (but of course definitely not the ONLY reason) i'll never join the rat race

would rather be a homeless 🤡 (slowly succeeding in this one)

I slowly start to believe I'm an apple fanboy, buy everything!!1

Thanks Microsoft, thankyou for not grouping notifications on windows 10 when multiple come through from the same app at the same time...

Opened the mail app after having it disabled for a while and it slowly queued up over 120 notifications that came through one by fucking one...

Why can't you just detect there are tonnes of notifications and just send 1 saying there are notifications... ffs

Slowly fixing up my home page for meh phone

I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time

The year of 2018 is slowly coming to it end, so how about summing it up in a few keywords ?

I start : Bitcoin, Spectre/Meltdown, GDPR, Facebook-out-Linux-in, A.I., Elon Musk, Corporate fuckups(fb,g..), Cheap & Good smartphones

Just a few random ones, hope you come up with better summary:)

Using a library with a terrible API.

Manage to convince management to purchase new library.

Using new library.

Slowly creeps in that new library has a terrible API.

They've told me I'm going to have to start doing timesheets.

When should I tell them I'm going to start producing work much more slowly?

The world is slowly coming to an end...

When the founders of the company leave and you see the soul slowly getting drained out of the company. Hurts to see..

When your pm forces you to push new features out too quickly and you're slowly digging yourself into a messy hell, knowing you have to one day refactor thousands of lines of code.

He told me to "calm down".
...
I said to him: "If it weren't you, I'd have hit you." (slowly, with the most serious voice...)

I hate this fucking sentence so damn much...!

"Just calm down..." - "BAM HEADSHOT! GO DIE!"... 🤔

Going to Jump head-on, without a helmet to Linux.
Starting with Linux Mint because I'm a complete noob.
Starting with a Boot from a 64Gb Usb3 very expensive drive.
If I like it... then moving permanently next week.
I'll tell how this noob goes :p

Slowly getting the hang of bulma or UI in general.

You don't know pain until you try writing a bash script using VIM ... on a ec2 instance ... WITH A SHIT ASS INTERNET CONNECTION

**slowly peels off face**

This is my bottom drawer. That's +150 packets of honey from the cafe downstairs. I've been slowly collecting them since I started working here. I'm leaving soon and thinking about leaving them so the next dev can have a pleasant surprise 😂

I am slowly losing my mind and will to live because of this PCI audit, I hate it so much

Navigating Directories with PowerShell, coursemates staring and thinking I'm a badass hacker. Their reaction when a directory not found generates five lines of bright red jargonized line in the console and I just nod slowly as if I'm understanding something deep 😂😂

I’m slowly starting to run most of my daily operations & programming in Visual Studio Code.

Here’s an example of me working in markdown files for one of my GitHub projects...directly in VS Code with live preview 👏.

Small test at school testing our knowledge of javascript and the p5js library.

One of the aims was to make a small rectangle slowly move across.

I lost one mark because I didn't define a y variable for the rectangle, even though the y never changes.

*sigh*

I don't really "keep" myself motivated. I wake up with certain amount of motivation every day and then I slowly die inside through out the day, every day.

It was so frustrating setting this one up. Lots of shouting in front of my monitors. But I think now I'm slowly getting somewhere with my first i3 setup.

Now to see if it will actually improve my workflow somehow.

I don’t know if I have dyslexic hearing but I’m pretty sure I do.

I’m in school and overhearing a conversation about indenting lines for something. The software I heard was “Microword Soft.”

I’m slowly going crazy...

Tfw your work pc boots so slowly, that you have time to go to the cafeteria to get some tea and when you return it still hasnt booted.

Slowly going to gitkraken, looks good,

/goes to Codewars to improve coding
/always have to look at solutions
/slowly losing faith in self
/cries

Working on an AI that learns to generate quatrains, by only feeding it every letter of the alphabet at the beginning.

It's learning super slowly, but theoretically it works. And with slowly I mean it takes 5000 iterations just to realize the optimal letter frequency to generate a word that is real.

Please just kill me.

Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.

It's been going for about 2 hours now... Slowly making progress...
"This will take a while."

No matter how many frameworks and supersets I try, I always conclude that nothing beats vanilla JS. ES6 in particular is such a beautiful language, and I love having fine control over what happens under the hood.

When I'm done I can just transpile it to whatever ES version, although it's slowly becoming a non-issue.

MOBBING DICTIONARY - 1 -

I would like to collect some sentences that amount to mobbing on the workplace, especially if repeated often and targeting the same person.

Sentence (flattering hypocrisy):
You are to good to waste your precious time in this demeaning task, let somebody else/me do it!.

Purpose:
demoting someone, alienate the target from crucial tasks and move the (important) tasks to the mobbers or somebody closer to them.

Result:
the targets usually don't buy the flattery, they are disgusted by it.
But they start to feel guilty: maybe they are not delegating enough, or not letting other people grow, or taking too much things on themselves.
They start to let go. But they have an hard time finding really more useful things to do.
They alienate themselves slowly from the team.
They'll be slowly fired.

Working on my website. Ranting on positioning my background which uses CSS perspective and translateZ to move slowly when someone scrolls.

Can't figure out a way to make it not overflow the whole document for almost 3 days.

Out of frustration changed the position to fixed.

And the problem was gone :( :D :(

I have no idea if I should cry or laugh loudly

So a month after being rejected for a position because it is was the holiday season and the cogs were turning slowly...

Fucking bitch (ceo of corp) contacts me and invites me for another talk

Look lady, I landed another job while you didn't want me at that timeframe and your cogs needed oil... Tough loss ain't it lol 😳🙈

Waking up and finding your Notifs panel full is like Christmas. Slowly opening every mention and ++ you get. Then, just for fun, you read every comment on rants you've commented in. Oh and comments in your own rants are the best.

What a nice start for the day.

Markdown. It is now used by MDN Web Docs and supported by Google Docs. End users will slowly pick up. Then even more (proprietary) flavors of markdown and their accompanying JS-frameworks will follow. All with good intentions, but it can only to end in a big mess and confusion like USB or USB 3.2 Gen 1.

Well, learning back-end is going along nic... I meant slowly!

My productivity reduces by almost half after lunch and reduces to 10% the day I leave headphones at home. It is only after tea break in the afternoon that slowly I start getting back on track again

Not planning ahead, just start at some point, adding just a tiny little feature after another, and then wondering why your to do app (just to check out a new framework or language) suddenly comes with Blockchain, a chatbot and a machine learning algorithm that (slowly) learns when the best time to show random cat videos is...

I got freelance contact for this simple static website.

Now the client is having a brainstorm and started giving more and more requests for features...

Slowly it's going to be not worth it...

just spent 2-3 hours trying to make a slideshow responsive for mobiles.

position().left returned an incorrect value breaking the whole thing. then jquery animations slowly produced a one pixel discrepancy when everything is animating based on the container width. breaking the whole thing.

Only solution has been to pretend all is fine.

things that make you want to smash something.

Windows 10 wanted to restart my XPS due to some updates, said will do it during idle hours but I still restarted. Boots back , couldn't. Tried again, same. Removed all USB devices , HDMI monitor, mini display monitor , still no luck. Removed power cable & it starts.

Slowly and carefully added all back one by one. Working for now ...

!rant

I'm a Windows slowly trying to convert to Linux (except for stuff that you need Windows for, obviously).

Being relatively new to desktop Linux, which distribution do you recommend with which desktop environment?*
Any tips for newbies? :)

*I'm aware that this could end up in a fight that divides devRant :P

they ask you how you are and you just have to say you're fine...

Good god. In an entry level CIS course, the teacher is literally explaining binary as slowly as possible and then spouting misinformation about sound waves and telephone stuff. Ugh.

That moment a junior asks you for help and you walk over slowly...to realise that you know exactly how to fix his problem without google, and get to do so while cackling slowly in your head

Been typing so long that I rarely, if ever write anything down anymore beyond a couple of scribbles. This seems to have slowly had the effect that I'm unable to write something the length of a damn postcode without my hand seizing up and cramping 😬

My girlfriend send me this. Slowly, I've started to influence her and she enjoys code jokes...

Whatsapp on windows phonewill be shutdown in december.
Slowly more and more apps will be off.

Windows phone has a beautiful OS why did you kill it Microsoft!!!!
Why why why.

Great, I'm in the zone.
Typing like there's no tommorow.
The logic is flawless, design patterns and exception throwing everywhere
It's going to be gre.... DUN.

OH GOD A BSOD.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Breath slowly... Just restart the machine...
PLEASE WAIT WHILE WINDOWS INSTALLS THE UPDATES

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

All day long I'm adjusting this chair up but it just keeps slowly going back down. Time to go back to a standing desk I guess.

A symptom of Subway Screen Symptom in details.
It is called so because it happens when you have to take your laptop everywhere by subway.

When the time seems flow more slowly...

Anyone else feel really unproductive and as if you're working slowly? I cut distractions but I still seem to zone out sometimes. Thinking about pomodoro method.

All I want in life is to sit at a desk, drink hot coco or energy drinks, program and slowly become insane, because my code won't work

As much as i fucking hate javascript and hope with a gleaming heart that it burns in the seventh circle of hell along with everyone who pushes it and the creators get their asses whipped with their own spines for all eternity as they slowly burn on the eternal flame

vuejs is pretty cool

What seemed like a simple task of upgrading our angular project and adding universal to it, is slowly beginning to feel like an impossible mission.

Fuck you npm, fuck windows and fuck whoever thinks javascript/typescript can be used for every god damn thing.

I fucking give up

Hello, I am new to DevRant!

I was fed up with Windows 10(broken search, start menu etc), hence I installed Ubuntu on one of my PC's.
Now the issue is that my Ubuntu System boots very slowly!
I have a Docker Container + Some apps in startup! It used to boot up very quickly IDK after a week of use it has gotten considerably slower!
Pls Halp!

Im slowly going from emails like "looking for developers" to "hi, when can you start" and i dont know if i should be happy or worried.

Best part of being a dev: the thrill of watching the project slowly come together

I've been slowly but surely writing the skeleton of a game on my Github.

Now to actually learn the basics of Github so I don't have to copy and paste my code every time there's an update....

The Project Management Triangle "fast-cheap-good (pick two, you can't have all three)" is something I've never agreed with.

How would you promise to build something good & cheap?
Doing it slowly will not really make it cheaper. The cost is usually development hours. If it takes 40 hours to make a good product - doing it 2 hours per day isn't going to make it cheaper.

Oh no 😱
.
So I have a database with 12 tables, It grows really slowly and it's not really important, so I just do a manual backup once in a while.
.
Today, I wanted to do a backup, and realized that the content of the only table I cared about has disappeared.
.
I miss you Data, rip

Coming from Java, I am slowly loving the MVC OOP PHP.

I think the best feeling is seeing you pet project slowly developing and growing.

I think the worst feeling is hearing someone 'meh'-ing while talkingabout it. 😓

Anyone else feels Silicon Valley is slowly dying? :(
This season ended too soon with very little to offer. No suspense. Less humour than expected and stretched events.

Hopefully next year is better.

!rant

Having lots shitty comments and lots of shitty rants is like having passive income, the ++ come slowly but surely.

Go hunting in Program Files much? Me neither. So why does the old woman who can barely use email insist I show her where the Excel 2016 application files are installed? Of course I have to click through the folders slowly over Remote Desktop, not because of connection speed but so she can WRITE THEM DOWN IN HER NOTEBOOK!!!

I ran elasticsearch reindexing on production.

My manager asked why there's no item shown on the search page, and I slowly told him, I ran reindex on production.

💣💣💣

If you have anything that runs too slowly, you should profile it today! Don't wait for worst performance.

Microsoft buys npm
Am I the only one seeing a tendency of a few big companies (Microsoft, Apple, Google, Yandex, Tencent and 10-15 more) slowly (or not so slowly) acquiring more and more small companies? I hope however that it stays as transparent to the end user; I also hope it even helps, because I hate getting used to a product/service and then the company dropping it because they have no resource and/or interest in supporting it (Google Inbox anyone?)

dealing with apple as developer is slowly starting to make me violent, the sheer level of incompetence on all layers of that company...

CLIENT: My wordpress site runs really slowly, can you fix it?
Me: Yeah sure, let me have a look.
*logs in and sees Facebook feeds, twitter feeds, 3 seo plugins, 5 backup generators, 4 slider plugins, jscomposer, social sharing buttons and loads more*
Me: Do you realise that you don't need that many plugins?
Client : well they make my site really fancy and my customers love it.
Me: yafud

Hate it when the beta tester always laughs when he finds a notorious bug, but loves it when I fix it in mere seconds and his laugh slowly fades...

What did you do the last 20 minutes?

I watched the timer on my browser slowly tick down as it downloads 550mb over a flimsy school wifi connection in the hopes that my constant watching helps it not time out or crash.

!rant
long time lurker and finally decided to create an account and contribute to this awesome community.

I been slowly entering in the field of software development it's been a great journey and still have a lot to learn.

Have a nice day!

Hopefully, you already know that the company controlled by the alledged reptiloid subhuman and olimpic testicle juggler formerly known as Mister Zuck My Tits is not to be trusted.

But as is always the case in this bitch, I've been forced into cowjizz flooded swamps' worth of stinking shit platforms for the sake of avoiding isolation.

And so, I've just found yet another way in which Facebook **THUNDERSTRIKE** ... the company, not the geriatric ward, is one of the CROWN ACHIEVEMENTS of human civilization.

Let me tell you something: some people are fucking broke. Hell, some people sleep on the streets, live on scraps, and willingly engage in acts of public defecation when provoked. But I'm not even talking about them no, just plain *broke*.

And so imagine being that guy who doesn't really use his phone much, except maybe for sharing cat pictures with mom because that's what being an absolute chad is all about. You don't get a new phone, because money is a __little__ bit tight. But THEN...

The dreaded CAPITAL strikes, and requests of you to bend and fall onto your knees so as to provide intense, intimate and manual -- as well as oral -- PLEASURE to the [NOT SO] METAPHORICAL PENIS of the """SYSTEM""".

Oh, what an abominable, drooooooling revenant that lies before you!

"Gimme your ass... " he says, menacingly, as you wail about in a futile attempt to guard and preserve the very last vestiges of your own anal virginity.

And so you fight, and kick him in the NADS with everything you have, down to the final shreds of vigor. Victory! Or so you thought...

"You must... " he mutters, mortally wounded "update WhatsApp... "

"Still you breathe?!" you exclaim, suddenly transformed into a heroic, sexy moustachoed arquebusier "After I'm done ~OILING~ my VICTORIOUS CHEST, I *shall* bestow DEATH uppon you!".

But as you rip open your shirt to apply sensual oiling to your marvellous frontal assets, your nemesis reveals it's portentous Portugal: "this new version of Android... " he gasps as he perishes "is incompatible with your device... "

"Ughh! Sacrebleu!" you shriek out in pain, realizing that you are now unable to ACCESS THE FUCKING DATA THAT IS IN YOUR OWN FUCKING HARDWARE BECAUSE OF A STUPID FORCED BINARY INCOMPATIBILITY.

That's right. Now even if I *do* get a new phone, I can't do shit about losing all of the family memes. And contacts and all of that shit, but the stickers are more important. A minor inconvenience, yes, and it didn't need all of this preamble but I was doing the dramatic fight scene bit inside my head as I was writing and I got into it.

Because the only documented way to transfer all of that data is to OPEN THE APPLICATION and scan some code, but everytime I go to do that, IT TELLS ME I NEED TO UPDATE. And every time I GO TO UPDATE, it says that MY PHONE is TOO FUCKING OLD!! AAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG!!!!

And you too, might be a dashing french man from centuries past, with both balls and tits down to your fucking knees, folding your arms in a position that exhumes smugness in a disgustingly irreverent and self-aggrandizing way, looking at me as a mere plebeian who cannot wrap his head around the mystical art of interacting with Google's black deuce box.

And you would be somewhat right in your judgement! But just having to fiddle about with these fucking pocket Elmo screens is such a traumatic experience for me that I'd rather lose my stickers.

[ADBREAK] Are you a debonair victorian undercover butt pirate, taking unparalleled care of your Falstaffian, highfalutin poils pubiens? Need your "sword" sharpened, as you browse through the pages of this magnanimous lexicon? Would you rather allocate final death to your coworkers than learn one more synonym for sonorous, supercilious and pontifical?

We all know that ALL you need to help keep that honor intact is slaying your enemies in high-stakes combat. But how to satisfy less gallant needs, when male prostitution is outlawed in more than sixteen duchies?

Look no further than BloodCurse, the ancient hex that will haunt your family for countless generations! With BloodCurse, you may crawl the earth as a mindless, shameless, piece of shit cockswallowing JUGGERNAUT that craves nothing BUT the consumption of scabbed human ass!

BloodCurse is easily contracted through consumption of the GENITAL fluids of highly-lecherous succubi, conjured through [EXTREMELY CENSORED]! This forbidden arcana allows the user to debour HIS OWN testicles in no time!

Get your bottle of scents, sensual Portuguese chest oils, and fucking designer-drug bath salts for the low, low price of a passionate, unceassing self-blowjob! And use my code FRONTALASSETS for 60% OFF in your next soul-robbing foray into the felational dark arts!

Big ups to BloodCurse for sponsoring this RRRRRRRR~$RRR$$RR%5RRRRR$0000:>A48CC50A E3A1B22A : 330D4750 7C24E5A5|.......*3.GP|$.. 5262E7D5 0D1C24E6 : 85594B39 1CB7593E|Rb......YK9..Y>

:~

>be intern me
>switch between JavaScript and python all day
>make some extra effort to comply with linters
>slowly forget how to write a for-loop block

Portugal vs Spain... I just slowly closed my laptop. Heading to the fridge...

I'm sad that StackOverflow is removing OpenID support. I've run my own OpenID server for years, and I've slowly watched support get removed from all the sites I previously used it to login to.

Goodbye open, distributed, authentication standards.

Oh god, I just got told off by my building manager for sleeping to much here.

I need to be near my computer to work or I slowly die inside

*mid procrastination* heads to DevRant, reads rants to slowly bring back to reality

That PHP is slowly turning into Java only with worse syntax.

Went through a lot of GitHub repositories and other people's codes to try to understand how the "magic" happens. Slowly started getting a hang of it. Good thing being, I picked up good coding practices along the way

Public transport is slowly getting quieter and quieter. One side of my enjoys the silence and space, but the other side wishes I had the option to not take it either.

Everyone WFH, I envy you...

Safari is slowly becoming the new Internet Explorer.

I'm loosing count over how many javascript workarounds i need to make for that abomination.

Sublime rocks but Atom is taking over slowly in my projects

TFW your place of employment is slowly self-destructing because the owners have their heads in the sand.
Time for an exit strategy.

I started my first ever job with PHP, and I was blown away by how simple it was to pick up. This was in 2006.

I am now looking at some code that was written by contractors in PHP. Holy shit, these guys are worse than the beginner me in 2006! And these are "professional PHP developers".
I am also slowly realizing why everyone and their cat hates PHP :/

I just had the scariest hallucination.

felt like my work table was slowly flipping towards me.
similar to how you feel right before you fall when you over tilt your chair when sitting.

I'm a bit tired. Flushed an ISO to sda. My laptop now asks if I want to use try or uninstall xubuntu on boot. Before slowly seeing my complete gui disappearing and had by luck still a terminal open - I could save ssh keys. Dammit. Was switching laptop anyway.

Dammit! I can't believe I did that.

Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎

Throughout the years I slowly bought more Arduino boards and stuff. But then RadioShack closed shops in my country. So my inventory has remained relatively small.

But now I have been given a ton of stuff. Boards, sensors, wires. More than what I know what to do with.

Someone, please give me a cool project to make.

Hardly anything in tech aged better than H.264.

The H.264 video format, also known as AVC (Advanced Video Coding), was made in the 2000s, is still widely in use in the 2020s, and only slowly being usurped by H.265, which was made in 2013.

Best part of being a (freelance) dev : working from home, being able to see my newborn son slowly growing up. Not easy to run after clients days after days, but I don't regret the silly project managers, the dumbasses from the marketing, and, gosh, I don't miss the CTOs. :)

So I've mentioned before that I'm pretty much the sole programmer for my robotics team. I'm on vacation for a week, and the other programmer has to take over.

Is it normal that, since I made the code work and wrote it almost all myself, I am fearful that she's gonna fuck it all up? I kind of want her to work on it slowly so I don't worry too much...

Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.

2023 will be remembered as the summer i wasted searching for a 🤡 job

still, i'm slowly working towards fuck you money and soon it won't matter

and imagine... they said i don't know redux, when i've been using it before redux toolkit even existed 😂

what a time to be alive

Was driving home last night when I noticed that my car was slowly drifting side to side. It felt weird like when a tire is low/flat. So I gradually slowed down from 50mph to 40mph. Note, I did this carefully and slowly. My antilock brakes kicked in. Like holy hell how slick does a road have to be for a small deceleration like that to kick in antilocks?

So it made me think of a math question:
If a typically sized sedan (weighing 2 tons) decelerates from 50mph to 40mph and the antilock brakes kick in, what it the frictional coefficient of the surface of the road? Also assuming typical non-bald all season tires.
Multiple choice:
a) slick
b) really slick
c) REALLY FUCKING SLICK!

Trying (for fun) to run a GNUStep Obj C program that calls c headers has proven something to me:
I really do not know what I am doing with makefiles and should probably slowly and respectfully walk away to continue doing what i was doing in c++

Kids, documentation reading is important.

I also do happen to really like objc

When your legacy retarded old as fuck frameworks are slowly dying and instead of migrating to new backend framework, losing some money but improving quality of our products dipshits in charge hire vue.js developer to try to replace jquery with vue just to keep this 10 years old legacy zombie crap alive for 2 more years..

How can you be this fucking retarded greedy motherfucking morons... it shouldnt even be possible

I'm slowly realizing that my ability to build apps does me know good when I can't design and figure out what to build :/

How do you even learn the creativity I see on places like behance?!

So I got my compute shader rasterizer working pretty well now which is great. I now also have a fallback to hardware rasterization for triangles which are a bit sussy (mostly just too large) and getting that implemented without tanking performance (gazillion threads hitting the same atomic variable at the same time) involved some tricky workgroup/subgroup hackery but I'm happy with it

Only problem... I have like 90%+ SM occupancy (which is great) but I also have 90%+ SM occupancy which means the nvidia drivers think I'm mining cryptocurrency and start bottlenecking my compute performance at random. It slowly goes up to 3x, then it slowly goes down again, then it slowly goes up again... argh

Thanks, miners 😐

I try to do my work and shut up about it but it is true; work sucks the life out of your soul slowly, everyday.

There are a couple really bad things I've seen other devs do.

One of those things is taking on managerial tasks while they are a dev in heart. Slowly kills them from the inside.

aside from the fact that i have to install the basic utilities package to use "add-apt-repository" and that it runs kinda slowly, i'm loving eOS <3

Watching the clock slowly ticking towards the end of the work day. Tomorrow will be a better day and the problems will be a lot less scary once I've slept over them.

I am fairly convinced coding in a non dark mode editor will slowly ruin your code due to excessive exposure

Slowly increase the users of our system from 5 to 15. The dal is fucking garbage so it gets slower and slower...

Anyone else add increasingly snarky or desperate comments and console log messages when things aren't working right? My messages are like watching a coder's mental breakdown slowly progress.

I feel like I am slowly becoming Dilbert

This old man is making me upgrade his waaay to old iMac to Windows 10... This is our third attempt (so the third day I'm coming over to try and upgrade), it's working - albeit slowly - as he has upgraded to 16gb ram...

I'm a software (C++) developer -_-

People who dismiss functional programming: **** you. Let them get phased out slowly and in a rot.

People who like functional programming but stuck at their current jobs: Let's build companies, competitor projects, pave the way for the future. Because we just know how good it is. :D

When you ask your co-worker for help with an issue and while he researches the issue ever so slowly on your computer you see what the problem is but he won't listen and you're to nice to 'dismiss' him...

Working night has to be the most relaxing thing, I'm all alone at the office with some good relaxing classical music, nobody to interfere, good coffee and code and the average office ghost, looking out at the street below I can see the city slowly coming to life in the morning. Wish everyday could be like this 😏

Fixing a bug under Drupal 8 has a bright and an other bad side

The bad sight is that you slowly get insane trying to fix a bug.

The bright side is that you get to see the lead the lead dev, who assigned you this bug, to get insane too 😁

Today:

Well, this data has been wrong since ... uh forever....

Well, how bad can it be, the company is still afloat and nobody has complained?

*fix*

*fix*

*fix*

-creeps away slowly-

I don't need to improve. I am the best Dev.

..Just kidding. But I don't, really. My life is too busy at the moment with the baby and my side hobby that I'm slowly becoming a bad Dev.

As I'm on a research/algorithm improvement project at work I'm working pretty much independently. As such I've set up an automated test framework and writing tests for any piece of code I touch.

Today as I was fixing a bug in production area I was demoing my tests to CTO and principal design engineer. They come from a hardware background and have pushed back against automated tests in the past but they were interested in what I was doing.

I WILL DRAG THEM KICKING AND FUCKING SCREAMING INTO THE WORLD OF AUTOMATED TESTS.

Oh shit... My XPS 13 seems to slowly approach it's EOL :(

It has lost power 3 times already since yesterday. The last time it shut down while I was browsing BIOS (UEFI) settings, on a charger...

shit :(

Yes, I am drooling at the new XPS 7390 with advertised battery lifetime of 21 hour. But I'm so used to my lappy.

Shit :(

Today is the fourth time in my career I needed a function that oscillates... to animate a 3D model slowly rotating left and right for my personal project.
Yay for the sine and cosine functions :D
...I never used them outside working with (mostly 3D) stuff that has to animate in a loop

What are your favourite made up quotes?

"There are no wolves inside of me, I would take my time to slowly murder them." ~Liam Neeson

Finally I've got time to set up my old buddy ☺️.. slowly slowly this night getting more productive 😂🤣

I don't like Chrome because Windows 10 forces it to perform slowly so that edge can perform better & people can fucking use it.

!rant
I just had the weirdest dream ever!!
I dreamed that PHP is like cancer: It eats you slowly from within and eventually you die.

And the weird thing is that I use PHP for a project..
Maybe it's a sign?😱

I have another level of respect for people who walk fast and/or don't block others.

Especially in an over populated country like mine, at any given spot, you can have more than one thousand people.

It annoys me how people walk slowly in the middle of the lane. Just cannot do anything about it.

launched major version today which has been in development nearly 2 years. daily bugfix builds for the next month or so until it's stable as we slowly rollout one cluster at a time. going to be my first time on production bugfix duty. man it feels cool to be a full time software engineer.