If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

How Programmers review code

This code review gave me eye cancer.

So, first of all, let me apologize to anyone impacted by eye cancer, if that really is a thing... because that sounds absolutely horrible. But, believe me, this code was absolutely horrible, too.

I was asked to code review another team's script. I don't like reviewing code from other teams, as I'm pretty "intense" and a nit-picker -- my own team knows and expects this, but I tend to really piss off other people who don't expect my level of input on "what I really think" about their code...

So, I get this script to review. It's over 200 lines of bash (so right away, it's fair game for a boilerplate "this should be re-written in python" or similar reply)... but I dive in to see what they sent.

My eyes.

My eyes.

MY EYES.

So, I certainly cannot violate IP rules and post any of the actual code here (be thankful - be very thankful), but let me just say, I think it may be the worst code I've ever seen. And I've been coding and code-reviewing for upwards of 30 years now. And I've seen a LOT of bad code...

I imagine the author of this script was a rebellious teenager who found the google shell scripting style guide and screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" at it and then set out to flagrantly violate every single rule and suggestion in the most dramatic ways possible.

Then they found every other style guide they could, and violated all THOSE rules, too. Just because they were there.

Within the same script... within the SAME CODE BLOCK... 2-space indentation... 4-space indentation... 8-space indentation... TAB indentation... and (just to be complete) NO indentation (entire blocks of code within another function of conditional block, all left-justified, no indentation at all).

lowercase variable/function names, UPPERCASE names, underscore_separated_names, CamelCase names, and every permutation of those as well.

Comments? Not a single one to be found, aside from a 4-line stanza at the top, containing a brief description of that the script did and (to their shame), the name of the author. There were, however, ENTIRE BLOCKS of code commented out.

[ In the examples below, I've replaced indentation spacing with '-', as I couldn't get devrant to format the indentation in a way to suitably share my pain otherwise... ]

Within just a few lines of one another, functions defined as...

function somefunction {
----stuff
}

Another_Function() {
------------stuff
}

There were conditionals blocks in various forms, indentation be damned...

if [ ... ]; then
--stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
--then
----some_stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
then
----something
something_else
--another_thing
fi

And brilliantly un-reachable code blocks, like:

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]; then
--SOME_VAR="blah"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
----then
----SOME_VAR="foo"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
--then
--echo "SOME_VAR must be set"
fi

Do you remember the classic "demo" programs people used to distribute (like back in the 90s) -- where the program had no real purpose other than to demonstrate various graphics, just for the sake of demonstrating graphics techniques? Or some of those really bad photo slideshows, were the person making the slideshow used EVERY transition possible (slide, wipe, cross-fade, shapes, spins, on and on)? All just for the sake of "showing off" what they could do with the software? I honestly felt like I was looking at some kind of perverse shell-script demo, where the author was trying to use every possible style or obscure syntax possible, just to do it.

But this was PRODUCTION CODE.

There was absolutely no consistency, even within 1-2 adjacent lines. There is no way to maintain this. It's nearly impossible even understand what it's trying to do. It was just pure insanity. Lines and lines of insanity.

I picture the author of this code as some sort of hybrid hipster-artist-goth-mental-patient, chain-smoking clove cigarettes in their office, flinging their own poo at their monitor, frothing at the mouth and screaming "I CODE MY TRUTH! THIS CODE IS MY ART! IT WILL NOT CONFORM TO YOUR WORLDLY STANDARDS!"

I gave up after the first 100 lines.

Gave up.

I washed my eyes out with bleach.

Then I contacted my HR hotline to see if our medical insurance covers eye cancer.

Let's see if this kitty survives the code review and makes it to production.

"Let me review your code, I used to work as a toilet cleaner"

code review

How did this date format ever get past code review.

That time of the week.

Where's the who write this code

Why code review is important.

The story of how humans evolved to an asshole.

Code-reviewer: please change 'if a==b' to 'if b==a' as it is easier to read so I can approve.

Code-owner: -_-

I was suppose to review this code.

if (null != value) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

My company

When your boss codes well

How do I code....

The way my code review was XD

When my code comes for review

My code passed the review today. It is now being pushed to production. I can't express my happiness 😅

When you dress up your flaws

What's code review?
*programming in production*

The other day we found this in our code review tool...

What code review?

The first code review

@Root has a code review.

CR comment: “Why would you do it this way? It’s awful. Clean it up!”

Totally fair. I had copied the legendary dev’s code, and it was ick. Cleaning it was easy and enjoyable. I cleaned the source, too.

CR comment: “Why would you touch this? It’s outside the scope of the ticket. You could get it working without changing all this.”

Revert…

CR comment: “The interfaces don’t match. Now it’s confusing, and that makes it harder to maintain.”

🤦🏻‍♀️

The great pain

Good memories

I sometimes wonder my English is that bad ...

I reviewed a pull request. I commented on this line of code

a = getA() * -1;

saying that

"I think this logic should be in setA method instead."

When the guy asked me for the review again, the change was

- a = getA() * -1;
+ a = setA() * -1;

...

Right!

How was yours?

Edited code directly in live. No peer review, no testing.

Coding gods, forgive me.

What would Gordon Ramsay's reaction be if he did code reviews for YOUR code?

I've never had a code review.
Eventhough I proposed to my boss that we at least review our intern's code once a week, he doesn't think it is needed.
Our intern writes ugly, shitty code...
it usually takes hours for me to fix his abominations... but yeah, what the boss says is always the best.

Not sure what triggers me more:

a) the fact that nowadays no one can type/spell without auto-correct
b) that this passed code review
c) that no one corrected it in 12 months since it's been committed

Oh no!

Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!

I just love going through the code review gauntlet doing maintenance work, don’t you?

(“boyscout rule” = “leave it better than you found it”)

Code review measurement : Wtfs per minute.

Created a function called upDawg and started sprinkling it all over the code base. Waiting to see who catches it in our next code review.

All it does is console logs 'Not much man, you?'

A week in code:

Mon: Write all the code💻
Tue: Review all the code🔍
Wen: Fix all the broken code🔴
Thurs: Deploy🚢
Fri: Review all the code🔬

Wrote my first code as an Intern for two weeks. Sent for code review. 30 different bugs 😔

Mah code toad. He glares at me when I do shameless hacks.

Inb4 sorry if this is cringe or whatever

We don’t do code review

{Context: English is not my native language}

The first time my code get a review ( by my boss that time)

Boss: Your code is full of butts 🍑

Me: Eh, What?

Boss: *showing his screen* see that? variables names: validateButt, contactButt, seeMoreButt..

Me: *interrupting him* oh, I mean button.

Boss: I know, just being sarcastic, but it'll be better to get another suffix.

Me: 😐

Buddy just hit me up on Snapchat after one of his code reviews

My first code review.

Code Review
My boss: “where’d you get this code”
Me: “You i copy and pasted from one of your projects like you told me to”
My boss: “oh”

My morning is starting off with a 40,000 line code review of a php project....yeah how's your morning going??!??!!??

*Code review a PR*

“Remove extra new line here.”

Code reviewing my own commits... Forever alone

The nightmare continues.

Currently dealing with a code review from a “principal” dev (one step above senior), who is unironically called a “legendary dev” by some coworkers. It’s painfully obvious he didn’t read the code, and just started complaining and nitpicking.

It’s full of requests to do things that make absolutely no sense, and would make the code an unmaintainable mess.
• Ex: moving the logic and data collection from the module’s many callers into the module instead of just passing in the data.
• Ex: hiding api endpoint declarations by placing them in the module itself, and using magic instance variables to pass data to it. Basically: using global functions and variables instead of explicit declarations and calls.
• Ex: moving the logic to determine which api endpoint to use, for all callers, into the view.

More comments about methods being “too complex” (barely holds water) right next to comments saying “why are these separate? merge them together!”

Incredulously asking how many times I’m checking permissions and how ridiculous it all is. (The answer? Twice.)

Conflating my “permissions” param and method names with a supposedly forthcoming permissions system overhaul, and saying I shouldn’t use permissions because my code will all have to get rewritten. Even if that were true, and it’s likely not, the ticket still needs to use the current permissions. I can’t just ignore them because they might be rewritten someday.

Requests to revert some code cleanup because the reviewer thought the previous heavily-nested and uncommented versions (with code duplication) were easier to read. Unsurprisingly, he wrote them.

On the same ticket, my boss wants me to remove all styling and clientside validation, debouncing, and error messages from a form. Says “success” and “connection failed” messages are good enough. The form in question sends SMS and email using arbitrary user input for addresses. He also says it shouldn’t be denounced on the server, and doesn’t want me to bother checking permissions. Hello, spam!

Related: the legendary dev reviewer says he can’t think of a reason why we would want to disable the feature for consumers, so I should remove the consumer feature flag.

You can’t make this stuff up.

2 junior programmers doing code review for each other

Each and every time when my manager review my code..... :-[

(Forgot to post this a few days ago. Was just too tired.)

Finally finished the code review from hell.

The patch on top of the PR is +1448 -1114, and nearly all of it is rearchitecting, not moving.

I think I spent six days on it, 4-5 productive hours a day? Seems like a lot. This codebase is a bitch to work in.

I’m spent.

During code review, just review the code and not the one who wrote it.

A badass pull request review comment: 'A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.'

No code review for hundreds of thousand $ app with oldest stack pile of shit

I just stumbled across this in a code review. Surely I'm missing something here....

We have a developer that is known for rejecting PR during code reviews.

He sent me a message and asked me to come to his desk to discuss my PR.
He mentioned that he didn't like my solution and suggested to rewrite the code together.
So far so good, he is a senior developer and I'm sure I'll pick something from the pair programming session. He went with his approach and faced some issues that led us to my solution after nearly 2 hours.
I'm not angry because this scenario happened at least 3 times but how do you guys deal with senior developers that are stubborn?

Code Review :( :(

Le me: "my code is awesome! The way I did XY and Z is insanely cool, efficient, and maintainable."

Le Boss: "yeah so let's schedule a code review next week."

Le me : "... fuck, Fuck, FUUUUCK!"

Internal Screaming

just another day at office
just another code review

When the client writes a 100 page novel about his problems, but never sends the ACTUAL CODE to review.

I dont feel good Mr. Stark

I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.

I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂

On code review .. #itsTrue :)

001 REM Code review

010 PRINT "Nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick nitpick"
011 GOSUB REFACTOR

020 PRINT "This function is too complicated, break it up"
021 GOSUB REFACTOR

030 PRINT "Why do you have three methods for this? Put all the logic in one method."
031 GOSUB REFACTOR

040 GOTO 020
041 REM ARGH

998 PRINT "Looks good."
999 STOP

Code review my industrial strength Javascript.

No amount of coffee can prepare me for this code review

Boss never branches. Pushes his commits directly to develop. No code review. No pull requests.

Team member just requested a code review in French (s'il vous plaît)

Yea, I'm not reviewing your code you pretentious prick

Actually happened on a code review:

Tech lead: "Why did you remove this code?"
Dev: "Why did you wrote this code?"

Where somebody says code review..

I've been looking at the shittiest code today. Hundreds of lines saying

this.thing.otherThing.EvenAnotherThing[this.someFuckingIndexThatShouldntBeAField].theOnlyBitThatsDifferentPerLine.AlsoNoneOfTheNamesWereThisMeaningful

Over and over. They're all wider than the editor window. Clearly copy pasted. Just make a fucking variable Jesus Christ how do you expect anyone to read that

When you and your colleagues fight over code intending whether it should be a tab or ''x'' spaces.
My reply: It doesn't matter what you use!! It's like eating with either a fork or spoon, as long as you eat, dammit!!
My friend:

No Microsoft Word, I'm pretty fucking sure it's spelled Git and not Gilt.
#Preparing Code Review Docs

Code review

Friend - could you comment your code, so I can review it pls.

Me - *comments "gets shit done" ,
"Does some shit ",
"I really don't like commenting my code "

A friend asking me to fix his bugs in the code.... But when I review his code .....

Omg

Colleague asked me to review his code. I honor this top tier email validation.

When I review a code that I wrote 4 months ago

Asking my colleagues to review my code is like asking "can you roast my code?".

When you are lazy as fuck in code review.

All I've been doing at work last few days is code review. Damn, I feel bored. Just give me something to code already!

When a senior developer changes your impeccable code and pushes their ugly indented lines with bad naming scheme without review.

So, my boss is pretty cool. Two of my colleagues made a review of my code (me being new, also on job training). We three were sitting in front of my code, me explaining enthusiastically my code, one of my colleagues looked a bit confused. My boss listening to the whole conversation, he said: "Her code works perfectly". But the way he said it, priceless! I swear, he had a very 'bitchy' voice and also waved while saying that. He looked proud, and we started to laugh.

Life lesson #32767: Don't review code commits before your first cup of coffee.

Did some code review the other day.
Best variable name found: pathToAss2

That moment when you replace
If (blablabla) {
return Yes;
}
else {
return No;
}
with
return blablabla;
And it not passed code review because "We should have readable code"

code review:
if ( a || !a )
return a;

he said that it is a null test...

Found this in a code review today.

Technically, I guess, that is one way to fix a divide by zero error.

Going for my first code review. My colleagues and I will read through my main class, which is 832 lines long and a two-three comments.

Found this gem in code review today:
$stringValue = (string)-5;

Boss: we can't accept your MR request until you fix the problems we highlighted, everything is blocked and the client is getting angry

My brother in Christ, I understand your concerns but I need you to understand: you decided to block a perfectly working and documented PR because you didn't like having "<!-- -->" in a couple of HTML files and menial bullshit like that.
It may not be the most elegant thing ever but don't put on me the responsibility of your blocks or I'll smash your face with the coffee mugs I've used to work until midnight so that you could deliver the product in time after someone else delayed the deadline twice already.
Thanks and get fucked ASAP.

First code review ever, and it's for my job.

Guy was really nice and polite.
Even correctly guessed I don't have much experience with professional coding outside my associates degree and prior job where I was the only programmer most of the time I was there.

Said that since it works functionally and is such a small program there's nothing wrong with it if it meets our purposes ( low priority project )

Then he politely in his words 'nitpicks' 3 points and gives me ideas on how to make it more reliable and less likely to need replaced or completely refactoring in the future.

I think my first time getting code reviewed went well. And one of the things he mentioned was something I didn't know how to do and only took 20 some minutes to implement so I also learned something new from this

I don't think I'm smart, but why most of the people are so retarded??
They want to just make the code work and skip home!
Not caring about how their code effects the whole system!

When you use words like SOLID, DRY and KISS in code review

I just did a code review on an old project of mine. 10k lines altogether. 5.7k TODO's. I can't even.

Screw you the 80 characters limit per line coding practice!
I will code as loooong as I want!

Just taken over a project from a "high end" London agency to find their code is just poorly copy/pasted examples from the WordPress codex.

Sometimes I think that going to jail for arson wouldn't be so bad. But other times I'm not doing code review on a Monday.

What would you do if you found this in a code review?

I once spotted this in our PHP code:

if (!empty("literal string")) { ... }

How did that even passed the code review process still remains a mystery.

When you really need that code review and no one is getting back to you.

When you trying to psych yourself up before your next code review. 🤣

100% of the code defects from a recent code review are from code copied from elsewhere in the codebase.

Code review goals

Manager : what is "looks good" in code review comment??? You have to be more detailed.

Me in next code review : It is not aesthetically pleasing, but it gets the job done.

Sent my changes before everybody for code review, got git blocked because today was demo day, and ... And asshole guy merged his own PR without code review. That conflicted with my PR. I am going to start posting the shennanigans of asshole guy from now on, just to have a record of his stupidity.

Dev: "I've pushed some code. Give it a code review."
Me: "ok, i'll do it"
<<fast forward>>
Me: "Sounds good to me. Only thing, I wouldn't have gone for all those renames because that was not part of the request, maybe we can discuss ...."
Dev: "I like those names and besides, it's already deployed in production"
Me: " :| .... what's the purpose of a code review when you push straight into production ?

Who remembers their first code review?

I see someone reviewing my code.

Sometimes I like to look at my PR and think "Damn, that's some beautiful code, I can't wait for someone to review it".

Then the review comes and see a bunch of requested changes. =/

The code review caught me

you're doing a code review and you ask for a simple fix and the reply you get back is: "that's not my code. I just copied and pasted it from somewhere else."

code review? you mean 2 people sitting at one laptop, trying to figure out where the bug is?

I had code waiting in review for ten days, blocking other work. On the eleventh day, the final reviewer (who was standing behind me as I wrote it) says "I'm not sure that I agree with the design, here."

I get you, man, I can re-write the algorithm, but I am so not in that context anymore and you've just delayed release of the feature by at least a week. Ugggh.

I AM SO HAPPY. GOT NEWS THAT A POPULAR YOUTUBER JUST USED A REVIEW CODE FOR OUR VIDEO GAME!! I AM DIEING.

One of my TL said to me during code review that place a break statement after return statement in switch case.

Being with a bar leader can certainly degrade your code quality.

"Can you add a comment why you added this comment?"

When you can't sleep, because you are more worried about your code review...
That's my state right now...

Stuff happens...

I prefer pair programming over code review.

I was told Friday I had trust issues because I wanted to code review pull requests from outside the team.

Code review, intern style:

Intern: Here is my pull request ...
Colleague: I see a problem with x, y, z. Could cause memory leaks.
Intern: Oh yeah you are correct, i'll fix that in the next one.
Intern: *merged*

Look at other peoples code, analize it, absorb patterns, let those patterns replace the shit I have to learn in school, review code, code with those patterns, feel weird, because something is missing, repeat

When the PO asks for a last second code change right before the sprint review, and now it's your turn to demo

Usually my workplace is pretty chill, but today something rantworthy happened!

During code review, I found this guy had styled each element inside his components using nth-child selectors. For instance, in a card the heading was styled by nth-child(1), the text was styled by nth-child(2) and so on... No use of actual fucking classnames.

When I pointed this out, he told me it was actually the better way of doing things because classnames increase the size of the HTML document!

He also claimed proudly that nth-child() is more efficient in performance (idk - anybody can confirm this?)

I'm the only "css guy" there so nobody could second my views. Posting it here so that I can show this to him tomorrow by demonstrating what opinion other css devs have on this and prove my concerns / convince him to change his code.

the feeling when you review your code on 1st project.

Dear team leader, If you tell me „I need to review this merge request before merging”, then make sure you are able to allocate time to do this.

If you need MORE THAN A WEEK to even start, then maybe your delegation skills are nonexistent.

That moment when you want to stop reviewing bad coder's code. Or else, you'll go nuts.

If you are in a team, take advantage of their expertise. Code review with them can also save some headaches later down the road.

During college, I was unable to compile a program during lab sessions. So I decided to ask the assistance of Technical assistant. He went through my code for like 5 minutes and said :
"You forgot to add Comments"
To which I replied :
"But sir what that does have to do anything with the program"
His reply was :
"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, DO YOU WANT ME TO DEDUCT YOUR LAB MARKS"

reading code:

Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review

FML

Code review?......... what's that?

Joke apart, We literally don't do that in my workplace, only few people care about code quality and what they are pushing to production

Last 4 days, struggling to get ship it from a Dev who is reviewing my code.

The comments have already piled up more than the LOC submitted.

The code review consists of just 2 interfaces and a pojo. Hardly 20 LOC in total, excluding javadocs.

I hope it gets ship it soon.
Wish me luck.

So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...

Team outing.

Planned to send out a code review before the trip. Everything was ready.

Then, someone pushed new changes, and I got damn stuck in fixing the UTs.

Currently, ranting from the resort, missing the commit that wouldn't reach a code review.

I expected to finish this task in 1 hour. Well, I should never ever estimate things.

Note: Played a grand piano though.. yeahhhhh..

Do not, I repeat... DO NOT approve a pull request that you cannot adequately review. You're more to blame than the person who wrote the code in the first place when it fails.

QMS admin: you only finished the code review, you didn't complete it!

Me: opens review clicks complete

QMS: you didn't export the code review comments!

Me: opens code review again. Clicks Export. Attaches *.txt

QMS: you exported the comments in the wrong format, I can't read them

Me: what is the right format?

QMS: SOP document <random alphanumeric> clearly states the format

Me: spends 20 minutes navigating the piece of crap QMS software with no search function folder by folder.

Finds document.

It's 120 pages and 4 years old.

On page 68, I find "template to be implemented"

Reply to QMS, that document doesn't actually give a reference to a template

QMS: Email my line manager "Please teach your staff how to do a code review"

When you start hiring millennials

Me rejecting working code in a code review, because it smells

Random code review:

contractor changes 2 lines in the .gitignore and 1 line in the composer.json and logs 4.5h against the related ticket .. hmmm

Code review = number of wtf's pr minute

Testers in my team have been told like 1000 times to follow the style guides that we all follow. That's not that big a deal. The big deal is that they were put on this project without having any mathematics background when the project is all about geometric stuff. So after me as a developer having to put so many hours to explain to them why the tests are not covering the requirements or why the tests are red because they are initializing the data completely wrong, I ask them pretty please to do the checks for the coding style and I have already been 4 hours reviewing code because not only I have to go through the maths and really obscure testing code to ensure that the tests are correct, but every line I have to write at least 4 or 5 style corrections. And some are not even about the code being clean, but about using wrong namespaces or not sticking to the internal data types. For fuck shake, this is embedded software and has to obey to certain security standards...

Dev sent out a code review request.
I take about an hour, ask questions, make suggestions, general feedback, etc.

Today I noticed none of my questions were answered, developer closed the review, and the code merged into the production branch.

So I email him, asking him why the review was closed and why none of my concerns were addressed before merging to production.

Dev: "No one responded or left feedback, so I thought it was OK to merge up."
Me: "I reviewed and left feedback within the hour you sent the request."
Dev: "Oh yea...you did. Sorry. The code is already in production, but if you still want to leave feedback, create a work item, and I'll take a look."

No you won't.

An example of the code...The dev added an async method to a test harness *console app*. Why? .. check in comment was "Improves performance and enhances the developer experience.."
NO IT DOESN'T!

OK..that's off my chest. No one is getting punched in the face today.

Just linked to this on a code review.

Perform code review and see stuff like this...
var count = dbContext.Posts.ToList().Count();

Selecting millions of rows from database just to get a count...

When you Review a coworkes Code and ask yourself
"why does this even produce anything valid??"

When your commit gets reverted without you knowing why :/

The best code review experience I had is when I started with my first job I used to write 10 lines of code and used to get 20 comments on that, well i learnt a lot from him and now whenever i get review comments on my PR i actually feel good.

If you have to review the code of other devs and they make the same mistake every f*cking time. But you are a friendly colleague so you try to keep calm and and remember them politely.
And so the only place to rant (and use the word "f*ck") is an app :(

Last year in my job, I was temporarily assigned to another team to help out in their project as they were short-staffed. It was a massive project and of course there was a lot of code review to be done. But since I was only temporarily assigned, I still have to do code reviews for my base team, this other team I was assigned to, and for some reason, code review for another team that I barely know what their project is about.

There were times where all I was doing was code reviews that took anywhere between a few minutes to upto 3 days. The amount of mistakes and bugs I kept finding was phenomenal. But I think the one thing that got to me was finding the same bugs/mistakes that I kept pointing out to people to stop doing or to fix e.g DB queries inside a loop just to retrieve data.

To this end I still have to deal with the same issue, but thankfully now it's only to one team.

I had a ticket to enhance the loading of a page.

So instead of doing 40K requests to a MySQL DB in order to generate a tree and display it to to the user on each page visit, the initial query was optimized and moreover, the results are saved in a MongoDB which will then are served to the user on each page visit.

Long story short, after a code review the code got shipped to production and there was a bug which got fixed in a Hotfix shortly afterwards.

I got all the blame for the bug.
I don't deny I have a responsibility for the bug.
Do you guys think the code reviewer also has a shared responsibility for the bug?

So I've been just assigned a code review. For a complete new feature.
It's over 20k lines of Code.

Time to quit

Work rant :

I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.

The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.

Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck

Do you all look for code complexity O(n) while coding? Or you make sure that your code runs and never look back what's happening ?

Because as per code review no one looks for code complexity and that's so sad

My face hurts from all the facepalming during code review

Typical Git work flow on a feature branch:

Commit#1 : The silly feature itself that took 10 minutes to code
Commit#2 : Added unsaved files
Commit#3 : Fix unit tests
Commit#4 : Fix
Commit#5 : Fix
Commit#6 : Fix
Commit#7 : Various Fix
Commit#8 : Added unsaved files
Commit#9 : Merge
Commit#10 : Fixed unit tests
Commit#11 : Code Review tasks
Commit#12 : Revert- Code Review tasks
Commit#13: Refactor part 1
Commit#14: Refactor part 2
Commit#15: Deleted unit tests
Commit#16: Added checking for null
Commit#17: Completely different feature's bugfix
Commit#18: Code review spacing corrections
*Approved*

Trying to merge, then merge conflicts.....

My duck wanna be luchador. Some Mexico code review is coming.

Next ducks will arrive soon :D

to whomever it may concern...

if i wanted to do code review keeping in mind how asshole you have been and made it my personal vendetta, i would not review it at all.

i would let you and your shitty code rot in hell.

"What in the name of hell? Why? No.. absolutely not. Jeeeesus. Holy cow!! Haha.. that's funny. No friggin way! Oh that makes sense..wait, that makes no sense. Screw it I give up."

Have you ever lost faith in coding while reviewing someone else’s code?

I did that mistake today! So annoying! I threw my laptop in the corner and picked up my phone to write this!

Push a PR that fixes 7 bugs...
Feel like a pro :)

Trying to get the 2 required approvals for my PR on a Friday after lunch...
Feels like pulling teeth :(

We've recently employed a new lead dev that seems to have a problem in that his solution is always the correct solution.

On a typical day, whenever I push code up for review via pull request, every single ticket I work on, he has something that has to change which doubles the amount of time of each ticket.

I'd be fine with this if the other 2 developers also think he's a bit of a headache in terms of his opinion but a lot of the time, there is always.. ALWAYS something that has to change because his method is better than mine.

For example, just now I pushed up some code that literally just adds in the user's email to the view which is already in the store for that action/effect anyway. I added one line of HTML.

He comments saying that I need to change the way it gets the email by doing a different request in the effect, to get the current user id, and from that match it against the email address, and THEN display it in the view.

This ticket took me 5 minutes. He's making me make it 30-60 minutes (to understand his requirement and implement it).

Is this normal? Am I over reacting?

Opinions please!

“I apologise for rewriting your code, I didn’t have time to read it.”

- Blaise Pascal

Never once had I have the worst code review. Simply because I never had one.

I hate people who merge the PR while the others are in the middle of the fucking code review

the two code review personality types

review activity:

- dev A: requests code review, sets dev B and dev c (myself) as reviewers

 - dev C comments: this review is marked with a complexity > 9000, touches > 20 files and has zero comments... also there's a lot of refactoring going on, making it hard for me to tell what the actual relevant changes are. can you please add more comments to this review?

 - dev B (10 mins later): approved review

There's a comment I left on a code review on Friday that I have absolutely zero recollection of even looking at the review. On the upside, apparently I did work in my sleep..? It's something that was discussed in today's stand-up...

I coded a simple Java programme when I was a beginner, today I reviewing it. I facepalm myself and thinking "I wish I know about 3 tier Architecture software development earlier" . Now I am looking at a one tier Architecture programme.

Which means UI components, Logic Components and Database components are all in ONE class and one method. Omg. Silly past self...

My best code review was when my merge request was accepted in less than a minute after creation. It was simple but I expected more time on review and accept action.

Guy said on Code Review that Decorators are not OO enough

I'm currently at a company where we have "performance reviews" every 2 weeks, and based on the outcome we get a percentage which then is used to calculate a performance bonus.

This is simply my manager (also a developer) who has his Excel spreadsheet, looking at tasks I did over the course of the past 2 weeks and almost nitpicking to find some fault. There is no code review or software demo to see what's been done either... I was there for the first 3 months and I don't think anyone had even open my code!

And when confronted, I get told that "You should also somehow be financially liable for the goings-on in the business", along with a 2 hour meeting to support that.

This is NOT how you motivate developers!

Apologies for the long rant...

</rant>

Definition of code reviews in our company:

"Part of work that requires you to scroll to the bottom of the page and click accept button. Looking the changes is optional."

Ticket waiting for code review for days. I have to rename methods.

Tickets goes again to code review. Waiting there again for days. Oops! there is something the code reviewer didn't see before!

Ticket goes to code review again, waiting for days there.

Boss comes to me telling it takes me too long to close tickets.

How long do you think code reviews should be? Ours can run from anywhere between 10 minutes to 4 hours

What is the worst thing you have encountered in a code review?

What is the best way to do a code review for a colleague's code, without coming out as a complete ass?

Yeah, sure. Send in your code for review with THE UNIT TESTS YOU WROTE FOR YOUR CODE FAILING!

What I absolutely hate the most of my workflow is to hand over my code for review to other developers.
I know it is important to prevent errors and to get feedback from them to improve, but I'm far from being self-confident and I'm afraid of showing others my work, regardless of the fact that nobody said anything mean about my work.

That feel when you retire 152 files worth of dead code...

The diff was so big, it crashed our review tool!

Genuine question, what was the most comments you've left in a single code review?

Just reviewed pull request submitted by a developer working for a contractor company and needed to leave 70 comments. Seventy.

Opened LinkedIn and saw a post from that same developer saying he left the contracting company an hour ago. I still can't believe it.

Why comment on the same thing during code review??

I submitted a PR and had to make a design choice that propagated throughout the module i was working on.

During code review, my coworker commented on every...single...line that this change effected asking "why are we doing x here?" instead of just creating ONE SINGLE THREAD with this question for discussion. There were at least 10 review comments on github from their one review that said "why X?"

Is this normal? Ive only had a few programming jobs and this is the first time this has happened to me.

personally, when someone makes a choice like that, i just make a comment and save the rest of the review until that is addressed.

Today a senior developer and a colleague started looking into my code reviews and started commenting best practices that were never used in the team.
Got my chance back at the senior developer's code when he raised a code review, which had none of the best practices.
Gave back a good set of review comments to him :D
Karma is a boomerang :)

Boss(non-technical) complains we are behind the schedule he set without consulting the tech team, the complains we don't all(including BAs) don't do code review. CHOOSE!

*Note: I am not bashing code review*

code review schedule on weekend
we have no life
</fuckedup>

Code review moment that I hate

Me: This is a bad practice. You shouldn't do this
Developer: But it works

*Showed articles and examples why it's bad*

Developer: I see. But it works. Why should I change it?

Nothing excites me more than a beautiful, simple and logical piece of code...
Sometimes I even feel like a creep with that obsession.
Am I the only one here?

I work at a small company (less than 10 developers). We tried to do code review but all of our projects are "work for hire" for our clients and we always have deadlines. Code review step always had the least priority and whenever the deadline gets closer, we would stop doing code review all together.

Finally we are starting our own projects and we are planning on hiring more developers and interns. I think code review will have a higher priority now.

23 comments on a single PR.

Am I a nazi or a good tutor? I think so.