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Search - "lazy as fuck"
First world problems...
I've been working at this startup as a tech lead for a little over a year, and we've grown from 3 to over 150 employees, and a bit over a million end users.
I've spent tens of thousands on high end displays and chairs for your lazy butts, on external consultants to help and train you, even those fucking dirty recruiters have leeched their shares of the pie. I built an amazing luxury kitchen with a fridge, beer cooler, induction plates and a blender for all your crossfitting bodybuilder meals, but forgot to think of my own needs.
NOW I JUST WANT TO BUY A GOOD COFFEEMAKER AND ALL THESE FUCKING TEASLURPING FAKE DEV-BROS SUDDENLY START SCREAMING ABOUT BUDGETS AND HOW COFFEE IS NOT NECESSARY IF YOU MEDITATE. FUCK YOU, WE'RE LIKE THE ONLY STARTUP IN THE COUNTRY RUNNING A FAT PROFIT. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID MINDFULNESS IOS APP. GIVE ME MY FUCKING ESPRESSO OR I'LL BLEND YOUR BALLS INTO A PROTEIN SHAKE.26
Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.
No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.
Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.
I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.42
"Aah, time to make a new Android app"
*starts Android Studio*
AS: "Yo yo yo, before you proceed, update all these 512 things in your SDK"
*creates a new Activity*
AS: "Nuh uh, this shit won't work without this, install it"
*runs app on emulator*
AS: "Hoooold your horses, you need to install this, and this, and update this and this.. oh and also that"
*emulator finally runs, app crashes*
AS: "Ohh, ha ha, oopsies, your Gradle config is also screwed up, change every dependency to the newest version and then update them all"
*config finally done, runs again*
AS: "Umm, I am too lazy to sync it myself, so you must press the nice big button on top to sync it"
*closes Android Studio*
AS: "WAAAIT WAIT, before you go, a new Android update just showed up, you must upd..."
Fuck you, devs who quote Knuth:
"Premature optimization is the root of all evil"
I agree with the spirit of the quote. I agree that long-winded arguments comparing microsecond differences in performance between looping or matching constructs in a language syntax is almost always nonsense. Slightly slower code can even be preferable if it's significantly clearer, safer and easier to maintain.
But, two fucking points need to be made to you lazy quickfix hipsters trying to sell your undercooked spaghetti code as "al dente", just fucking admit that you had no clue what you were doing.
So here we go:
1. If you write neat correct code in one go, you don't need to spend time to optimize it. Takes time to learn the right patterns, but will save you time during the rest of your career.
2. If you quote Knuth, at least provide the context: "We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time [...] Yet we should not pass up our opportunities in that critical 3%"
YES THAT CRITICAL 3% IS WHERE YOU MESSED UP.
I'll forgive you for disgorging your codevomit into this silly PR.
BUT YOU'RE QUOTING KNUTH IN YOUR DEFENSE?
Premature optimization is the root of all evil... 6300 SQL queries to show a little aggregate graph on the dashboard... HE WOULD FUCKING SLAP YOUR KEYBOARD IN HALF IN YOUR FACE.3
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow"
- Metal as fuck
- Works just as well19
I love it when lying, cheating, bitching dinosaurs act like they're all powerful and on God mode just because they can click buttons in a mobile app and do whatever the fuck they want. You know the system logs your shit, do you? I guess not.
I booked a car using a mobile app that I've been using for years. They absorbed their competition so currently, they are the only car booking app here. When I saw that my driver arrived at the pick-up location, I looked around and found that he wasn't there so I asked him where he is. He did not respond so I walked around the pick-up location and said, "I'm right outside <insert building name here>."
To my surprise, the mobile app said he has already picked me up. I kept messaging him asking what happened and why he picked me up in the app when I'm still waiting for him in the location. No response. I called him thinking it was just a misunderstanding and politely asked what happened. He was angry and said, "Why weren't you in the pick-up location?" I said I was there and couldn't find him. Thinking there must have been a mistake, I asked "Can you cancel my booking? I can't cancel from my side because it says I'm already in your car." He yelled, "Well, I can't do anything about that. I picked you up anyway and if I cancel now, it would reflect badly on my record."
I dropped the call. Now I'm stuck in my location because I can't use the app to book another car until this motherfucker "drops me off" when I wasn't even in his car to be dropped off anyway. I'm late for my appointment and had to chase down some taxis when most of them are occupied due to the rush hour. A few minutes later, I received a notification that I was "dropped off" and my credit was charged for the "trip".
I was furious and I swear to fucking Satan, I'm gonna destroy this man's career. This guy is on a power trip. First, his car just zoomed by the pick-up location. He did not consume the given 3 minutes wait, not like he would consume it anyway since I was fucking there waiting for him. I hate it when people are late so I also avoid making people wait. Second, he didn't have to pick me up at all. He could have just cancelled or let me cancel. And finally, he gave me that fucking attitude when I called him like IT JUST MADE SENSE that he picked me up anyway. Now I'm hassled and he gets paid for it.
What he said kept ringing in my ear:
"I don't want to get a bad record."
"I don't want to get a bad record."
"I don't want to get a bad record."
So I emailed the company and told them what happened. I explicitly said that not only do I want a refund, something has to be done with this driver given the details above. How's that for not having a bad record? I swear, the fucking rotting old corpses in this country act like they own the place just because they existed before Jesus was born. And these motherfucking drivers, the chariots from hell, they just abuse their passengers like they're some almighty god who can do as they wish because well, you don't have much "choice", do you? I have the choice to hand your ass back to you, sir.
This is why you're all fucking poor. You get a small taste of presumed "power", you act like little shits. This is why I have no sympathy for the poor in this fucking place. You're all lazy fucks who hassle everyone just because you feel entitled to do it. Because everything is unfair, right? You're not given opportunities, right? And yet given an opportunity, you do this kind of shit and assume everyone else is too dumb to prove what you did because you went clickity-clickity-click on an app you think you know everything about.
Fuck you. Fuck you. May god have mercy on you and I hope my rage blows over soon enough before I do some crazy shit as to stalk your next fucking location and keep spamming you with bad reports using different accounts until you lose the fucking job that you don't even care for. It's not that hard for a raging lunatic like me. God damn, I hate liars and cheaters. An eye for an eye, motherfucker.
"Now you're acting the same way and all powerful just because you can report them."
"It's ironic how you--"
Yeah, yeah, nice observation, genius. Stop spreading your mediocre "findings" on someone else's rant. It doesn't make you look smart, it makes you look desperate.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah? Well, stop spreading your mediocre rants in this plat--"
Shut the fuck up, oh my gggggggggggggggoddd. Just let me fucking rant.10
I feel so sorry for all the people in the world who use their phone more than their PC/laptop.
All the pitiful souls who think they're gamers because they installed lootchest simulator on their little digital skinner box. All the sad beings who just view the internet as a collection of ad-infested apps.
Actually, I don't feel sorry, because these people make the world a worse place.
Suddenly we needed websites which could render on tiny screens and need bloated cross-platform app development frameworks. Many game studios became parasites exploiting addictive behavior in humans, instead of creating works of art.
Humans spent 10,000 years to perfect their caves with expensive kitchens, and all people want is for their WiFi to reach the grill at the end of the garden. Humans created central heating, comfortable couches, wall-mounted TVs and luxurious desks -- and all people can think of is whether their phone plan covers holiday roaming at their shitty resorts.
The rare times I do actually go into this apocalyptic wasteland people call "The Outside", all I see is subway cars full of hunched addicted drudges, bus stops with clusters of enslaved automatons.
Fuck all of them.
Fuck all of you imbeciles, who ventured out of the cave and now DARE to call me anti-social, just for preferring the warmth of my comfortable protective den.
It's fucking cozy here, within the walls of my shelter, I got booze and a fridge full of food and a bunch of LSD, I can masturbate under the shower, have sex on the couch, have all kinds of GIANT displays for entertainment, with full-sized qwerty-keyboards, high-DPI mouses, even some console controllers and big TVs if I feel lazy.
You can stick your responsive websites and social-network-integrated Android apps up your rectum, just sit your fucking fat ass down in front of a workstation and desperately refresh the stream of fake attention-seeking messages there, if you absolutely must.
Seriously, why does this guy from our marketing department call me on my private phone number. Why did HR PROVIDE him with my private phone number?
And WHY THE FUCK is he asking me, a DB admin: "Our website doesn't load properly on Safari on my iPhone 7, could you take a look at it"?
No, of course I won't fucking come to the office to take a look at your miserable shitty device with its cracked glass screen.
Fuck you and your outdoorsy habits.
Stay the fuck in your cave, you degenerate attention whore, otherwise please go choke on your airpods.25
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!18
"You claim you are a developer and don't know what firebase is? Pfft"
Words uttered by one of my classmates flexing on some 4th semester college inmates. I don't know what's more annoying his squeaky voice, the pretentiousness of using headphones as a necklace during class or that I was just like him when I was a freshman (minus the low hanging fruit flexing).
God fucking damn, I'm not even mad at his obnoxious pampered kid semblance, it's the irony of this enlightened fago falling into the god forsaken rat race. Why?
Because he hasn't been magnanimously disappointed by one of the most corrupt systems I've ever been witness of, yeah keep talking about firebase to the teacher who just nods pretending she knows what you are talking about.
I've had this same teacher before and your nice asynchronous ES6 express nosql solution will come last compared to all the WordPress templates she'll approve because they are pretty and all the time you invested, yeah, right into the crapper, seriously it would've been more satisfying to just masturbate everyday until Christmas break. I'm not pissed at him, annoyed by his semblance maybe, but I actually pitty him because the system will take a big shit on his face and he's just smiling.
Damn it, all these careers ruined by lazy ass professors who think leaving a shitload of diagrams as homework counts as teaching. And before any quirky brother interjects with "oh maybe your University is shit", "muh University verry gut u suk", you shut the fuck up! I know my university sucks even tho is "one of the best ones" by the corrupt media's standards, I'm here to vent about issues, real fucking issues happening in real corrupt systems, I'm taking about professors sexually abusing students, not going to classes, no centralized teaching systems, fucking chaos.
I'm happy for you if you feel good about the piece of paper you hang on your wall that certifies you as Bobby the guy who not only learned a shit load about computers, he also bent his ass so far for us and payed us so much money for it, it's funny he thinks himself as smart.
I know, I know, you went to an ivy league college, have a wonderful job and owe some money, good for you, some are not so lucky and I'll make sure those lazy asses who take advantage of the system lose their jobs.
I'm so sick of this shit we call "moodern educashion"7
I have a co-worker that always uses "I'm too old" as an excuse.
You're 33. You're just a lazy piece of shit that doesn't take care of his body.
Fuck you, do work.7
You know what? I'm gonna rant about it because it's 2AM, I can't sleep from anger, and the pain from the workout wasn't enough to keep my head straight. I don't care if you read this. I just need to let it out.
You're a fucking dick. You have the biggest ego I've ever seen and what you did today had me holding back tears from rage and trying hard not to punch you in the neck. I don't see why that sort of shit is necessary when working with somebody.
Your team "borrowed" me. That wasn't my project, the client requested me to be there. Your first reaction when you thought the task was just a small change is "I don't think you can do it." It turns out, it was bigger than that, so why don't you volunteer doing it now? It turns out, you only worked on small tasks.
It's your project, you've been there for years. I was instructed to ask you how to set it up because you're supposed to know where things are. It's not like I'm asking you anything that can be resolved through logic or Google. All my questions are project-specific - which repository, how are you testing this, how can I set this up for this version you're using and the clusterfuck of microservices dumped into one place with 12 YAML files, etc. If you had a README file, I'll gladly read it. To be fair, you do but it's fucking empty.
I tried to set it up directly in cloud shell (Linux). I get errors about packages that aren't there, I resolve them one by one. Then finally, I'm stuck on the SDK. Your project uses an old version (when the new one has been around for 10 years) and you're setting a bunch of parameters from different configuration files that isn't part of the standard deploy so I ask you about it and your response is:
"What shell? The one on the internet? SDK? You don't need an SDK! I hate to bust your ego but you don't need an SDK. I don't know why you're doing that. If you just ran it on your local machine, it would work without additional setup."
Wow. Amazing response to a question. As if I did some hacky stuff and your assumption is I'm making things more complicated. It's almost like you didn't overreact. So I stayed calm and said, "Okay, I'll install your IDE on Windows and run it there." A few minutes later, same SDK error. Oh, I thought this is supposed to work locally without doing anything? It turns out, you made a lot of hacky dacky setup on your workstation and you forgot about it but hey, I have the huge ego. What do I know? My head is so heavy, I can barely see.
Realizing how wrong you were with your previous reaction, you attempted to initiate smalltalk. "So you use Linux in your previous project? Amazing." Fuck you, man. Fuck you and your dog smile. I'll keep it professional but I'll be asking the developers in the client side moving forward. You wasted so much time of my life and irritated the veins in my temples.
Finally, you say "Install the SDK" and in an attempt to shake your memory, I say "So you need an SDK" but of course, you have to look smart and say "Of course you need it, that's the SDK!"
When it started working, it turns out, you can only run the unit tests and you suggested I develop all of these with just unit tests. 30 minutes before the shift ends, you admit that you never got it to work. Wow, what a waste of time. Ego, huh?
Your boss, the client, your fellow developers interviewed me and I passed all of them (technical exams, live coding, theoretical bullshit, etc.) including the exam YOU created. My first week in the office, you didn't talk to me even when the manager asked you to. The first time you talked to me, all you did was brag about how you taught everyone in the project, how you're the only senior there, talked trash about the managers, said everyone else is too lazy to learn by themselves, and threw it to my face that I wouldn't have gotten the job if you interviewed me. I've been there for like what? One week? I don't even have access to any of your shit. I wasn't even in the same project as you are.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt, maybe that's just how you talk, maybe I can learn something from you. I get it, man. The people around you are "lazy" and "stupid" and you taught all of them. Your ego must have inflated from all those people completely dependent on you so you assumed that everyone else is the same.
I've taught people myself but I've never treated anyone like that. I don't walk around the halls like they owe me their lives. I don't blow up on them and then humiliate myself because it turns out I'm terribly wrong.
I don't know what to make of this. It's either you're underestimating me or you've seen my previous projects and assumed I have a huge ego that needs to be broken down. I asked nicely but wow, what the fuck kind of reaction is that? I guess you busted your own ego.
Damn, fuck you. Three months of this shit and I lost my patience.11
It's fantastic how you blame me, the back-end developer, for the things that the manager, business analyst, and front-end developer missed.
The front-end developers didn't make the user interface and admitted they didn't get to do it and outright forgot about it due to workload, oh it must be the back-end guy's fault for not asking them. You, the manager, have no fault here at all. Why are they overloaded again? And they, as the developers who totally missed out, were just innocent creatures who "were not informed".
The business analyst admits that he thought I was the front-end developer even though I corrected him during the first meeting where he said, "Oh okay, so Rutee is the back-end and <this other guy> is the front-end." EVEN THOUGH every day, we have a meeting and you see my JIRA ticket in all caps "BACK-END". Ever thought about asking? Then the manager comes in there and says, "No, it's not your fault. We as a team should take responsibility. That's how smart teams work." And yet your fucking face, I hate your face, man, and your fucking insinuations. I swear you're all just looking for a scapegoat, now it's making sense why you borrowed me.
While I'm doing my job here minding my own task and knowing that shit has been assigned to the proper person, the manager, business analyst, and other developers who's been in this project for years never bothered to ask for updates regarding the front-end until now. Why is back-end making noise the past few weeks? Because someone is WORKING on it. Someone is RAISING issues. Someone is CLARIFYING the requirements.
I had my own problems. Your requirements are severely lacking, your setup fucking sucks and doesn't fucking work, there were issues and dependencies from several other teams, and now it's my fault that I didn't ask about the front-end? How is that? I create the API, you fucking call it. If anything, you should be asking me about the endpoint but I guess I have to do EVERYTHING and know EVERYTHING in this project where I was just borrowed and I'm technically the new guy here.
I guess it's a "let's blame the new guy" game around here. You can hire the most senior of all developers you can but no one can ever just guess or read your fucking minds. You can't just put someone in one project and expect them to know all your processes, your repositories, your developers, your fucking uncommitted code changes THROUGH EXPERIENCE and PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE PROFICIENCY. This has nothing to do about proficiency and being proactive. I can be proactive TO AN EXTENT. I can't do YOUR job for you.
Jesus fucking Christ. This project is so disorganized and yet you can't acknowledge that. Then I would get an advice from someone else that we should have talked while front-end is there. He WAS, he's even on the invite. Every fucking time shit hits the fan, you all get a week to fix something and I get a couple of hours or a day. Issue two weeks ago? Resolved Friday after my shift, yet I managed to deliver the next morning. Issue last week? Resolved Friday afternoon, yet I managed to deliver before end of day.
"This is the first time this happened." I highly doubt that. You just want to correlate my *new* presence to your failure so you can insinuate that the new guy is to blame. Your team sucks. Your management sucks. "Oh, that's just how he manages, he tells you the end goal and it's up to you to THINK what you have to do." I did THINK but why the hell do I have to THINK for them or for everybody else?
So yes, another rushed deadline. Another excuse for the slacking pieces of shit, "Oh, I can't do my job because back-end doesn't have this other endpoint I need for this one. Guess I'll go home." When did you say you need another one? "Just now. But you should have known earlier if you asked." IF I ASKED. At what point of my life would I randomly ask, "Do you need this endpoint that isn't part of the requirements but does this/that?" where "this/that" is some functionality I know nothing about because it was never discussed.
Seriously, fuck you and your fucking requirements. You fucking lazy pieces of shit cunt whore motherfucker. I hate all of you. You ruined my entire fucking month. How do you expect this to be less chaotic when you defend the slackers and punish the ones who actually do their jobs and use them as scapegoats?
Three more fucking days, man, and I'm out of this shit. When I get back, I hope you don't bother me with this shit anymore. Your mom's a hoe and I'm accepting calls from recruiters anyway.25
Yeah Mozilla fuck merit and fuck you too!
This, this is what I was talking about when the fucking CoC came out and everyone (including it's author) started it using it as a political weapon.
You castrated fucking virgins! Mozilla, I want to support you I really don't like chrome but you always manage to disappoint everyone. I'm tired, tired of you morally superior socialists infecting my fucking workplace, entertainment and news.
This is just an excuse for lazy assholes to have their cake and eat it too and it's damn fucking INSULTING to us "minorities", I can work to get nice things just like anyone else bitch! having another skin color is not a disability!
Worst of all, you seem to have straight out millennial retards making these decisions seeing as it's based on an article from a washed up "gender research" professor that thinks Barbie Doctor is problematic, the most biased and dumb source you can possibly pull out of your ass.
Two classmates were murdered this morning, do you really think we care about what your diversity and inclusion Dept thinks it's problematic? You delusional halfwits, the only comforting thought is that your soft bigotry will perish alongside your product when it inevitably diminishes it's quality for sake of "equality".
Want to make better products? Ditch your useless diversity and inclusion department and start optimizing the memory consumption on firefox.
Want to help minorities? Start paying your outsourced developers decently.
I hope this helps people who thought including politics in software development wouldn't have dire consecuences to open their eyes; if not, oh well I guess people will get it when mozilla keeps going down the drain and they get fired because they just outsourced their work in the name of "diversity" just to save money.
CS graduates that have never gone beyond "Hello World", fuck college and it's "system".
So the actual victims of the story are friends of mine, CS colleagues, but I can't help but share as the existence of code freeloaders enfuriates me.
At college in order to graduate you need to present a project in form of a thesis a side from your actual thesis, there is a shortage of pre-approved projects and everyone wants one.
A talented friend of mine who has many years of programming experience got in one with another friend of mine and a lady who I've never seen before. One Saturday night my friend and I were having some beers at a local bar and his phone didn't stop beeping so I jokingly said:
"Bro, tell your girl you need some space", he laughed and explained it was the chick from her project having some "issues" with node.
"So? Tell her to google it, it's Saturday night", he explained the girl has never coded before even though she's about to graduate so she had take it upon herself to pressure him to finish ASAP so she can graduate and get an already agreed position at the federal energy commission... As dev!
I've seen my bud in a lot of dumb calls with said chick trying to explain how you CAN'T COMPILE THE NODE WEBSERVER TO A .EXE!
It frustrated me how such an idiot can go through a CS major buying homeworks and getting low self-esteem geeks to code for her. Then I realized that as an aspiring InfoSec guy, lazy idiots coding is good for business.8
Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!2
I wish all open source desktop applications had the same combination of expert features and polish as Blender.
The state of FOSS applications for creating diagrams, DB management & ERD, drawing SVGs, editing video, slideshow presentations, document processing, etc -- Yeah just all of it seems to be either stuck in some 90's UX paradigm, or it's a basic-as-fuck Electron app with 12 buttons for toddlers.
I know... I know... it's FOSS, can't be entitled.
But there's a part of me that really wants to be.
Fuck it, I'm just going to be entitled.
FUCK YOU LAZY FOSS DEVS, GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME MODERN APPS. THROW YOUR GTK TOOLKIT BULLSHIT IN THE TRASH, GO CHOKE ON YOUR RETARDED WINDOWS-95 THEMED TOOLBARS, AND START MOTHERFUCKING COMPETING. YOU'RE BEING SURPASSED BY VENDOR LOCKED $50/MONTH CLOUD ABOMINATIONS MADE FOR COKE SNORTING DIMWITS. DON'T GIVE ME THAT "BUT PEOPLE WORK ON IT FOR FREE" CRAP, IF BLENDER CAN MAKE A GREAT COMPETING PRODUCT THEN SO CAN YOU.
Ah, completely unjustified and unfair.
But it still feels really, REALLY great to get it off my chest.
Now that I have descended from my soapbox, I'll go drag my useless developer ass over to the nearest FOSS project and see how I can contribute to a slightly less depressing future.15
Not just another Windows rant:
*Disclaimer* : I'm a full time Linux user for dev work having switched from Windows a couple of years ago. Only open Windows for Photoshop (or games) or when I fuck up my Linux install (Arch user) because I get too adventurous (don't we all)
I have hated Windows 10 from day 1 for being a rebel. Automatic updates and generally so many bugs (specially the 100% disk usage on boot for idk how long) really sucked.
It's got ads now and it's generally much slower than probably a Windows 8 install..
The pathetic memory management and the overall slower interface really ticks me off. I'm trying to work and get access to web services and all I get is hangups.
Chrome is my go-to browser for everything and the experience is sub par. We all know it gobbles up RAM but even more on Windows.
My Linux install on the same computer flies with a heavy project open in Android Studio, 25+ tabs in Chrome and a 1080p video playing in the background.
Up until the creators update, UI bugs were a common sight. Things would just stop working if you clicked them multiple times.
But you know what I'm tired of more?
The ignorant pricks who bash it for being Windows. This OS isn't bad. Sure it's not Linux or MacOS but it stands strong.
You are just bashing it because it's not developer friendly and it's not. It never advertises itself like that.
It's a full fledged OS for everyone. It's not dev friendly but you can make it as much as possible but you're lazy.
People do use Windows to code. If you don't know that, you're ignorant. They also make a living by using Windows all day. How bout tha?
But it tries to make you feel comfortable with the recent bash integration and the plethora of tools that Microsoft builds.
IIS may not be Apache or Nginx but it gets the job done.
Azure uses Windows and it's one of best web services out there. It's freaking amazing with dead simple docs to get up and running with a web app in 10 minutes.
I saw many rants against VS but you know it's one of the best IDEs out there and it runs the best on Windows (for me, at least).
I'm pissed at you - you blind hater you.
Research and appreciate the things good qualities in something instead of trying to be the cool but ignorant dev who codes with Linux/Mac but doesn't know shit about the advantages they offer.22
My Perfect Day : Assumption
Woke up at 6. Went for morning walk or do yoga or some sort of stuff.
Came back at 7. Went for daily routine, like bathing and all.
Went to prepare breakfast at 7:45. Prepared some eggs and bread and coffee.
It is 8:15 now. Reading news papers or watching tv and doing breakfast.
At 9 check mails and prepare some stuff.
At 9: 30 went for office. Reached office 5 minute before 10, safe and sound.
Came back at 7 by evening. Did some rest. Prepare dine till 9. Take a bath. Complete the dine.
At 10:30 ready to sleep.
Actual Scenario :
Woke up at 8:30. No time for yoga or morning walk. No time for preparing breakfast as well. Went straight to bathroom. Came back in 20 minutes. Made a cup of coffee. No time for newspaper or tv.
Feeling lazy and tired already. At 9:10 went for office. Before reaching office stopped at fast food joints. buy some junk food. Eat them. Got traffic jam and reached office late.
Started working but feeling lazy. Boss asked twice about the project status and i am unable to think a single line of code.
However, days passed. Boss scolded me. I promised him to finish the work after reaching home.
Reached home at 7:30. Late for no reason. Went straight to bed. Sleeps a hour. But took 20 minutes to leave bed.
Started working on projects i did not complete in the office.
Time fly and it is already 1 in morning. No dinner. Tired as fuck but hungry as well. So made some eggs and eat. Wrapped the task but it is 3:30 in morning and i jumped to bed for sleep.
I've been away, lurking at the shadows (aka too lazy to actually log in) but a post from a new member intrigued me; this is dedicated to @devAstated . It is erratic, and VERY boring.
When I resigned from the Navy, I got a flood of questions from EVERY direction, from the lower rank personnel and the higher ups (for some reason, the higher-ups were very interested on what the resignation procedure was...). A very common question was, of course, why I resigned. This requires a bit of explaining (I'll be quick, I promise):
In my country, being in the Navy (or any public sector) means you have a VERY stable job position; you can't be fired unless you do a colossal fuck-up. Reduced to non-existent productivity? No problem. This was one of the reasons for my resignation, actually.
However, this is also used as a deterrent to keep you in, this fear of lack of stability and certainty. And this is the reason why so many asked me why I left, and what was I going to do, how was I going to be sure about my job security.
I have a simple system. It can be abused, but if you are careful, it may do you and your sanity good.
It all begins with your worth, as an employee (I assume you want to go this way, for now). Your worth is determined by the supply of your produced work, versus the demand for it. I work as a network and security engineer. While network engineers are somewhat more common, security engineers are kind of a rarity, and the "network AND security engineer" thing combined those two paths. This makes the supply of my work (network and security work from the same employee) quite limited, but the demand, to my surprise, is actually high.
Of course, this is not something easy to achieve, to be in the superior bargaining position - usually it requires great effort and many, many sleepless nights. Anyway....
Finding a field that has more demand than there is supply is just one part of the equation. You must also keep up with everything (especially with the tech industry, that changes with every second). The same rules apply when deciding on how to develop your skills: develop skills that are in short supply, but high demand. Usually, such skills tend to be very difficult to learn and master, hence the short supply.
You probably got asleep by now.... WAKE UP THIS IS IMPORTANT!
Now, to job security: if you produce, say, 1000$ of work, then know this:
YOU WILL BE PAID LESS THAN THAT. That is how the company makes profit. However, to maximize YOUR profit, and to have a measure of job security, you have to make sure that the value of your produced work is high. This is done by:
- Producing more work by working harder (hard method)
- Producing more work by working smarter (smart method)
- Making your work more valuable by acquiring high demand - low supply skills (economics method)
The hard method is the simplest, but also the most precarious - I'd advise the other two. Now, if you manage to produce, say, 3000$ worth of work, you can demand for 2000$ (numbers are random).
And here is the thing: any serious company wants employees that produce much more than they cost. The company will strive to pay them with as low a salary as it can get away with - after all, a company seeks to maximize its profit. However, if you have high demand - low supply skills, which means that you are more expensive to be replaced than you are to be paid, then guess what? You have unlocked god mode: the company needs you more than you need the company. Don't get me wrong: this is not an excuse to be unprofessional or unreasonable. However, you can look your boss in the eye. Believe me, most people out there can't.
Even if your company fails, an employee with valuable skills that brings profit tends to be snatched very quickly. If a company fires profitable employees, unless it hires more profitable employees to replace them, it has entered the spiral of death and will go bankrupt with mathematical certainty. Also, said fired employees tend to be absorbed quickly; after all, they bring profit, and companies are all about making the most profit.
It was a long post, and somewhat incoherent - the coffee buzz is almost gone, and the coffee crash is almost upon me. I'd like to hear the insight of the veterans; I estimate that it will be beneficial for the people that start out in this industry.3
Finaly! I dont work anymore!
Few days ago my contract had ended. I dont need to go to that stupid factory and process 400 to 800 gears a day! Finaly I wont be all dirty, oily and dusty constantly!
Three months ago I decided to earn a bit of money to not waste my holiday time. (I could do my projects but im a lazy fuck and i would propably end up playing pc games). It was worth it. I earned aproximatley 500 freedom cash per month. (Thats A LOT in my country). It wasnt plesant experience tho. Dust was everywere, i had been working at heat treatment section of that factory (but i was using grinding machine, so yeah perfect place for that) so temperatures were ranging from 40°C to 50°C. I had to wear protective equipment as well!
If you think 36°C is hell try working there!
Im currently at student integration camp for new students. I hope that im going to have great time! Also lectures start next month. Im going to study electronic and computer engieering in english (in poland).
When the school finaly starts Im going to join few student clubs and i hope they are going to help me with my computer and electronic projects.
Thats all! Time to get drunk!2
I already wrote one rant about how my family deals with me being a developer, but this rant I wanna dedicate to people close to my family and what they actually think...
Earlier this year I ended school, so I was supposed to find a job. Well...I live in region where only small IT "companies" exist. It is really hard to find job as a developer around here. These small companies either do not want to hire anyone or they just hire people with super amazing university or just family members and friends. Anyway, I did not want to move to the capital city, so I just kept seraching...and that is how this family friends started to be fucking toxic.
While searching for job everyone just kept telling me how am I lazy as fuck and will not just go digging fucking drains or work for minimum wage to some korean shit company around here. Of course not literally, but I can see when someone starts to look at me as I am completely crazy. Our family lost many fake friends who just do not understand because of this. But it did not ended here...
When I finally found a job 1.5 month earlier, I was so happy. Job from home in relative good company. Ho Lee Fuk! Nobody believes me I am actually working. People look at me as I am a lazy fuck laying all day in bed and watching fucking TV. I am done with these dick people.
End of story.3
That's actually something that happened fairly recently.. just that I didn't have the energy left at the time to write it down. That, or I got my ass too drunk to properly write anything.. not sure actually.
So on paper I'm unemployed, but I do spend some time still on pretty much voluntary work for HackingVision, along with a handful of other people.
At the time, we were just doing the usual chit-chat in the admin channel, me still sick in my bed (actually that means that I wasn't drunk but really tired for once.. amazing!) and catching up to what happened, but unable to do any useful work in this sick state. So, tablet, typing on glass, right. I didn't have any keyboard attached at the time.
One of the staff members (a wanketeer from India) apparently had an assignment in a few hours for which he needed to write a server application in Java. Now, performance issues aside, I figured.. well I've got quite a bit of experience with servers, as well as some with client-server protocols. So I got thinking.. mail servers, way too overengineered. Web servers.. well that could work, I've done some basic netcat webservers that just sent an HTTP 200 OK and the file, those worked fine.. although super basic of course. And then there's IRC, which I've actually talked to an InspIRCd server through telnet before (which by the way is pretty much the only thing that telnet is still useful for, something that was never its purpose, lol) and realized that that protocol is actually quite easy to develop around. That's why I like it so much over modern chat protocols like XMPP, MQTT and whatnot. So I recommended that he'd write a little IRC server in Java. Or even just a chatbot like I attempted to at the time, considering that that's - with a stretch of course - a sort-of server too.
His fucking response however, so goddamn fucking infuriating. "If the protocol is so easy, then please write me down how to implement it in Java."
Essentially do his fucking work for him. I don't know Java, but as a fucking HackingVision admin, YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT HACKERS CAN'T STAND LAZY CUNTS THAT CAN'T EVEN BE ASSED TO GOOGLE SHIT!!! If I wanted to deal with cunts like that, I'd have opened the page inbox with all its Fb h4xx0ring questions, not the fucking admin chat!
And type it on a goddamn fucking piece of glass, while fucking sick?! Get your ass fucked by a bobs and vegana horny fuck from the untouchable caste, because that's where you fucking belong for expecting THAT from me, you fucking bhenchod.
But at least I didn't get my ass enraged like that to say that to him in the admin chat. Although that probably wouldn't have been a bad thing, to get his feet right back on the ground again.1
Be good at job, have lazy coworkers who can't be bothered getting into the project. End up developing most of it. End up having to do client meetings as well because you've come to be the only one who knows how it works. Start to get tired after being relied on for everything. Be pressured to work late because now you're the only one who can fix it... Other devs just tinkering around the edges. Get refused leave requests because deadline after deadline. Work morning till night feeling increasingly burned out, Covid curfew means you can't even leave the house during the week, start to go insane. Leave request refused again. Ok I haven't had any time off in a while year now. Fuck this. Quit. Company sorry, try to keep you. How about no.9
I've been lurking for a while but I had it up to here with these goddamned "js sucks" posts.
I'm not gonna deny js has severe design problems,
or that chromium is a motherfucking vampire
or that it's a goddamn pain in the ass to understand how to babel webpack + plugins correctly
that is all true.
the problem is that it's just a lazy damn circlejerk at this point where no learning is gained, with no outlook on any possible solution of these problems, let alone ANY type of actual collaboration to help the situation.
sometimes people don't even care to specify what is specifically wrong with js. It's just "js sucks" and that's it, farm ++.
slack is a ram hog, yes, yes, we know... WE KNOW.
every 5 days someone has to remind that!
is there any solution? why is it a ram hog? is electron the problem, or is the slack source code doing weird shit?
are there any lightweight alternatives to electron?
That's actual good conversation, but no, apparently it's impossible to drop the snarky tone for 2 seconds.
I think it's fine to point out defficiencies in applications, but it's not ok to shitpost on and on.
I would very ok with someone shitcomplaining about js is if they were doing something about it.
I'm still ok with people letting of some steam, I'm fine with people expressing frustration from direct work experience with js. I'm not ok with people and their ignorance and snarky comments and non helpfulness while comfortably laughing from their own camp of totally unrelated technologies.
Hearing sysadmins or people that code exclusively in c shit on js makes me feel my insides twirl.
Imagine I didn't do shit for linux, but I went around forums pointing out the defficiencies, like the lack of standards, and saying that mac is way better.
Or I if yapped on and on about openvpn and having an obscure as fuck api, meanwhile not doing a single fucking thing about it, or not even using it in a day to day basis.
do you hate slack's ram usage? me too and js isn't going anywhere in the next 5 years, so either do something or provide smart conversation, diagnosis of the problem or possible alternstives/solutions, otherwise stfu12
If nobody hates you, you're doing something wrong ~ House MD
Tl;Dr : I'm pissing the right people off and my God I like it
That's what I've known and have confirmed doing my current side project with my gf, we are working on a ratemyprofessors clone with extra spicy features, one in particular is so spicy some teachers will be put in a position in which they would rather grind hot peppers with their butt cheeks.
Don't get me wrong, there are good teachers (some of which actually showed support) but some are not good teachers and some aren't good people either; I've decided it's time to stop complaining and take action.
We recently released an alpha and I presented it to a teacher I had this semester (one of the "not so great" kind) as a DB proyect cuz fuck it I'm not doing 2 projects.
This teacher is your run of the mill "I'm lazy and I don't care" teacher and she ran the classroom like a shitty kindergarten, so much so, one of the teams was presenting a buggy admin site as their project and she started talking on the phone! Right up on their faces!!
My turn, I go up and handle her a 30 page printed thesis of my project and said that unlike my mates, I was going to start presenting the idea and then the actual software...why is it printed?, She said; Because I won't be projecting the PDF ma'am, I actually made a professional presentation and that way you can read more technical details while I give a broad overview...
I started talking about the huge issues students face and my research about it, undisciplined teachers, no class structure ~ abrupt interruption ~ "yeah I know like, you are giving so much statistics and numbahs but where is the database?"
I got pissed off because the whole purpose of printing and giving her the docs was for her to ask specific questions AT THE END! So I told her I was getting there and to ask questions at the end...I start showing off the system's sweetest features... everyone got quiet...a girl on the front row kept looking at the teacher and then back to the board with her eyes wide open, the teacher was visibly upset.
I asked someone to please help me by using the site being projected for everyone to see, he searched the teacher's name and it obviously popped up cuz I scrapped the whole teacher index site... some people gasp and others start murmuring.
She freaked and started arguing saying that frontend can't be just HTML and CSS, where did you mentioned x and y feature? admit it's just teacher evaluations! where did you get the teacher names? I want the scripts!....it went on even 10 minutes after class and the next class with a police like interrogation.
So yeah, something tells me I'm not getting an A, but I'm happy after all because that's the kind of reaction I want from those types of professors.
Worth it 😎8
I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.
Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.
D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.
As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.
Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.4
I am fucking pissed off. Pissed off with lazy ass, incompetent developers, why the fuck are they even employed.
These two devs have been working together on some functionality for weeks, each for thier respective platform and I’ve been asked to join them, in order to complete the functionality for a third platform.
I spent one whole day trying to understand what state we were currently in, and I notice that it is not even in a state where I can begin.
I look further and notice these fucks decided to add dummy records in the database for a report.....
They are using the same table as a junction table and also as dummy records that receive results which a report can be generated from, I have spent 2 days trying to explain to them that is not good and that the table will grow very large due to dummy data being added every time an update is done.
I even offered a fucking solution but these fucks have to over complicate every fucking thing, every fucking time.
They finally agreed though, after me going through hell for two days.
I want to quit, I’m tired of working with these stupid fucking retards5
Fuck these stupid frustrating trends. It drives me fucking crazy. Scrolling a website and sections overlap each other, text flying in as you scroll, stuff fading in, images moving over text panels. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I want to read the content, I don't want to feel sick and confused. Clients - DO NOT SEND ME A LINK TO THIS KIND OF WORTHLESS SHIT, SAYING 'I WANT IT LIKE THIS'.
Used sparingly and intelligently, animation can add to the UX, but it rarely is.
Remember the 90's when lazy designers used the photoshop bevel and emboss filter on every fucking thing, the web was contaminated. Cunts.1
Is it just me who sees this? JS development in a somewhat more complex setting (like vue-storefront) is just a horrible mess.
I have 10+ experience in java, c# and python, and I've never needed more than a a few hours to get into a new codebase, understanding the overall system, being able to guess where to fix a given problem.
But with JS (and also TS for that matter) I'm at my limits. Most of the files look like they don't do anything. There seems to be no structure, both from a file system point of view, nor from a code point of view.
It start with little things like 300 char long lines including various lambdas, closures and ifs with useless variables names, over overly generic and minified method/function names to inconsistent naming of files, classes and basically everything else.
I used to just set a breakpoint somewhere in my code (or in a compiled dependency) wait this it is being hit and go back and forth to learn how the system state changes.
This seems to be highly limited in JS. I didn't find the one way to just being able to debug, everything that is. There are weird things like transpilers, compiler, minifiers, bablers and what not else. There is an error? Go f... yourself ...
And what do I find as the number one tipp all across the internet? Console.log?? are you kidding me, sure just tell me, your kidding me right?
If I would have to describe the JS world in one word, I would use "inconsistency". It's all just a pain in the ass.
I remember when I switcher from VisualStudio/C# to Eclipse/Java I felt like traveling back in time for about 10 years. Everyting seemd so ... old-schoolish, buggy, weird.
When I now switch from java to JS it makes me feel the same way. It's all so highly unproductive, inconsistent, undeterministic, cobbled together.
For one inconveinience the JS communinity seems to like to build huge shitloads of stuff around it, instead of fixing the obvious. And noone seems to see that.
It's like they are all blinded somehow. Currently I'm also trying to implement a small react app based on react-admin. The simplest things to develop and debug are a nightmare. There is so much boilerplate that to write that most people in the internet just keep copying stuff, without even trying to understand what it actually does.
I've always been a guy that tries to understand what the fuck this code actuall does. And for most of the parts I just thing, that the stuff there is useless or could be done in a way more readable way. But instead, all the devs out there just seem to chose the "copy and fix somehow-ish" way.
I'm all in for component-izing stuff. I like encapsulation, I'm a OOP guy by heart. But what react and similar frameworks do is just insane. It's just not right (for some part).
Especially when you have to remember so much stuff that is just mechanics/boilerplate without having any actual "business logical function".
People always say java is so verbose. I don't think it is, there is so few syntax that it almost reads like a prose story. When I look at JS and TS instead, I'm overwhelmed by all the syntax, almost wondering every second line, what the actual fuck this could mean. The boilerplate/logic ration seems way to off ..
So it really makes me wonder, if all you JS devs out there are just so used to that stuff, that you cannot imagine how it could be done better? I still remember my C# days, but I admin that I just got used to java. So I can somehow understand that all. But JS is just another few levels less deeper.
But maybe I'm just lazy and too old ...5
TLDR; i wrote recursive compression with random algorithm to fuck up some lazy ass girl.
one day, unknown classmate told me she has a family reunion and cannot do his programming assignment which will be collected next day in the morning, so she ask me to do it. i say i need to put a price tag to it because i want to buy a new RasPi --i don't know her either so i don't feel bad about it. i told her i need $20 and after some bargaining it settled at $15. i work on it about 3 hours and told her it's finished and send her demo video as a proof. she happy with the result. and will come to my house later that night to get the source code. at night, she came, and give me only $8 bucks, of course i get mad, with every arguments she throws at me i resist to give her the source code. but since i tired enough to get into a longer arguments i accept the 8 bucks i go upstairs to get the source code. but instead of giving her the actual source code; i wrote a quick script to do 50 compress source code folder recursively with random compression algorithm--sometimes gzip sometimes lzma. and give her the final 50 times compressed source code. EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER22
I fucking hate chained methods. Ok, not all of them. Query things like array.where.first... that stuff is ok.
Specially if it's part of the std lib of a lang, which would be probably written by a very competent coder and under scrutiny.
But if you're not that person, chances are you'll produce VASTLY inferior code.
I'm talking about things like:
And the reason I don't like it is because it's all fine and dandy at first.
But once you get to the corner cases, jesus christ, prepare to read some docpages.
You end up reading their entire fucking docs (which are suboptimal sometimes) trying to figure if this fucking dsl can do what you need.
Then you give up and ask in a github issue. And the dev first condescends you and then tells you that the beautiful eden of code he created doesn't let you do what you want.
The corner cases usually involve nesting or some very specific condition, albeit reasonable.
This kind of design is usually present in testing or validation js libraries. And I hate all of those for it.
If you want a modern js testing lib that doesn't suck ass, check avajs. It's as simple as testing should be.
No magic globals, no chaining, zero config. Fuck globals forced by libs.
But my favorite thing about it that is I can put a breakpoint wherever the fuck I want and the debugger stops right fucking there.
Code is basically lines of statements, that's it, and by overusing chaining, by encouraging the grouping of dozens of statements into one, you are preventing me from controlling these statements on MY code.
As an end dev, I only expect complexity increases to come from the problems themselves rather than from needlessly "beautified" apis.
When people create their own shitty dsl, an image comes to my mind of an incoherent rambling man that likes poetry a lot and creates his own martial art, which looks pretty but will get your ass kicked against the most basic styles of fighting.
I fucking hate esoteric code.
Even if I had to execute a list of functions, I'd rather send them in an array instead of being able to chain them because:
a) tree shaking would spare from all the functions i didn't import
b) that's what fucking arrays are for, to contain several things.
This bad style of coding is a result of how low the barrier to code in higher level langs are.
As a language or library gets easier to use you might think that's a positive thing. But at the same time it breeds laziness.
Js has such a low learning curve that it attacts the wrong kind of devs, the lazy, the uninspired, the medium.com reader, the "i just care about my paycheck" ones.
Someone might think that by bashing bad js devs I'm trying to elevate myself.
That'd be extremely stupid. That's like beating a retarded blind man in a game and then saying "look, I'm way better than this retarded blind man".
I'm not on a risky point of view, just take a stroll down npmjs.com. That place is a landfill. Not really npm's fault, in fact their search algorithm is good.
It's just the community.
Every lang has a ratio of competence. Of competent to incompetent devs.
You have the lang devs and most intelligent lib devs at the top. At the bottom you have the bottom.
Well js has a horrible ratio. I wouldn't be shocked to find out that most js devs still consider using import or await the future.
You could say that js improved a lot, that it was way worse beforr. But I hate chaining now, and i hated back then!
On top of this, you have these blog web companies, sucking the "js tutorial" business tit dry, pumping out the most obscenely unprofessional and bar lowering tutorials you can imagine, further capping the average intelligence of most js devs.
And abusing SEO while they're at it, littering the entire web with copy paste content.2
The most important skill you can have is doing things without shame.
Shamelessly stay in your bed all weekends watching PewDiePie, never brushing your teeth, eating Doritos from under your pillow and peeing into empty Mountain Dew bottle if you feel like doing it.
Shamelessly spend your vacation sitting in the toilet with a laptop browsing reddit.
Shamelessly cut your product in half and ship it if you don't feel like perfecting it.
Shamelessly admit that you don't know something when you messed something up at work.
If you are a millennial like me, chances are your gen x parents told you that you have to be perfect / really good to succeed and to be worthy.
You know what? Fuck your parents then. Fuck my parents as well. Admitting this behavior wrong and actually giving up on living like something is always watching is the best thing you can do to your mental health.
I'm lazy. I write "any" here and there when they force me to do typescript at work. When I need a sidebar, I go and copy-paste that jquery snippet. I write like one article a month at best and I really want to say "fuck it" if I just don't feel like it.
You can always give up on everything and it's perfectly fine. This doesn't make you any kind of looser or something. You're perfectly fine.
Too bad I'm only beginning to master that.9
I wrote a random string/int/other stuff API somewhere this year which I still regularly use because I'm a lazy fuck.
Never posted anything about it on here and the documentation isn't entirely complete (and not all the endpoints are extensively bug-tested yet) but if someone is interested I'll see if I can patch some stuff and put it on here as I find it useful!3
For fucking fuck sake I fucking hate those dense motherfuckers with professor degrees from university. Lazy shmucks.
How, HOW, can you, as a sentient human being, force anybody to use Netbeans for the fucking final project? Two SOAP services, two REST services and PHP for communication? In Netbeans!? WTF. You didn't even teach us PHP for fuck sake. Why can't I choose technology I'm using!?
And to top it all of, Netbeans is the worst IDE I've ever used. I'd rather kill myself with a spoon than use for even one more project. How can ANY TEACHER use it for lectures and tasks? Using it teaches you fucking nothing, because it's generating code for you. It makes you braindead when you just look at it. It's works like shit and looks like shit.
I hope that devTea's swear-words blocker will have some fun with this rant.16
I fucking hate morning people like the one in the story below!
Before we begin story time I want to acknowledge some things.
This is largely a case of a person having a lack of awareness and giving in to their base instincts (which are wrong).
People all tend to think that everyone else is like them (most children below a certain age cannot make this distinction and many adults never learn it either).
To take it a step further, anyone who isn't just like them is Lazy/Bad/An Asshole/etc.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE
Now it's story time...
I worked for a startup. We used a modified SCRUM, and we had standups every day @ 10 AM, the other team had then at 11:30 AM.
We get a new product owner. He is a morning person. But basically, he is a day-trader so he wakes up at 5 AM to trade and is in the office by 8 AM every day.
The problem is, he uses this as a reason to leave every day at 3 PM when EVERY other member of the team is there until at least 5 PM.
So he says one day (when I am not there) that we are moving our standups to 8:30 AM...
"Because he wants to make more use of the time and wants to get more done!"
So the next day a bunch of us miss this standup, the second day I was there in time but instead of going to the standup I sent them a picture of myself sitting in a coffee shop across the street with a message saying...
"I will be holding a meeting today at 10 AM, I expect EVERYONE to be there. If anyone on our team is absent then we will sit there and that absent person will be responsible for the time we waste waiting for them."
10 AM rolls around and the Product Owner is nowhere to be seen. The team starts complaining about the early standup and I tell them that this meeting is for me to take care of it. I tell them to sit silently and let me handle it.
We all message the PO saying the same thing...
"Come to the meeting, You are wasting our time!!!"
So he shows up at 10:20 AM and it begins.
(Now I'm going to do this as a conversation)
PO: "So I assume this is about the standup?..."
ME: "Feel free to ramble on as long as you want, you have already wasted 20 minutes of our time so we will sit here quietly and wait for you to decide you are ready to stop wasting our time with your ramblings. That's fine."
<PO then shuts up in disbelief>
ME: "So are you finished?"
ME: "I'm expecting an answer PO!"
PO: Yes, for now.
ME: I am moving our standups to 5 PM, end of discussion.
PO: Becuase your too lazy to be here by 8 AM?
<I expected this>
ME: No because I'm an asshole who expect everyone to conform to my schedule.
PO: ..., Well, I am not here at 5 PM.
ME: Sounds like your too "lazy" be here at 5 PM, eh?
PO: I have other things I do then.
ME: Ah, now the truth comes out. You care more about your life than our business. That's unacceptable! I personally don't care what you want to do. The fact is that we are working here and every day we end up having PO questions that need to and can't be answered because you are not here.
PO: <To the team> The standup is still at 8:30 AM.
ME: <To the team> The standup is at 5 PM. End of story. And from now on whenever we have questions before 5 for PO and he is not here we will be recording it and putting it in his report.
Then I walk away.
That day we held a standup at 5 PM. He wasn't there. He held a standup at 8:30 AM and he didn't even show up. He stayed home a video in. He then arrived in the office and said...
PO: Since no one was in the standup today we will be moving it back to 10 AM.
ME: Since PO has seen the selfishness of his ways, We will be moving the standup from 5 PM back to 10 AM.
FUCK THOSE PEOPLE7
*flashback to days of windows xp*
Just finished formatting and installing xp on friend's trash pc cuz the os was compromised due to a shitload of viruses. Notice that other partitions might still be infected and i don't have an antivirus on me.
"Big boi Ill be back in an hour, just whatever you do, don't open ANY drives no matter how urgent it is. Just Don't do it or i won't be able to help you"
Come back and VIOLA this worthless trash avocado opened a drive to play a game and d pc was infected. Again. Back to square one. It almost broke my heart. Almost.
I remember that day well. I was 15yo and hopeful. That day marks d start of my hatred toward tech incompetent people.
A N G E R Y
My classmates stink of incompetence. I'm not that smart in fact i consider myself to be a noob among devs but seeing ppl that are several order of magnitudes trashier than me breaks my heart and makes me soo Fkin
A N G E R Y
Hey you cunt of a skunk, WHY can't you even compile a fkin cpp file without an IDE what the fuck is wrong with you? What do u mean ur program isn't compiling? Well it literally says there syntax error on line 15 congrats u moron u fkin spelled else as esle. Why shud I waste my time on stupid Shitty ppl like u huh?
And waddup mr shithead.No. Not gonna help you partition ur drives and install a fkin linux just cuz ur too lazy to google it urself.
And if i refuse to help cuz im working on my shit then I AM D BAD GUY? Stop bitching about me u lazy bastards get ur lazy arse off and read the fkin book. Watch a tutorial or sm shit why the fuck can't u understand YOU LITERALLY PAY TO COME HERE AND YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO LEARN THE BASICS GOOD LUCK GETTING A JOB YOU WORTHLESS CUNTS.
Now now all the poison is out i can finally focus on improving myself and stop giving a fuck about them. Its hard to be calm and cool when ur surrounded by ppl like this all day. Even harder when there is almost noone that you can look upto. All this time, there's only one thing I've learnt- in a place like dis, being an asshole is better dan being polite.3
I have been sick for a week now. All I needed was one day of rest. But no, can't rest on the week days because I work late. Can't rest on weekends because work fucking calls me for retarded tasks that they are just too fucking lazy to do themselves.
Look gobknob, I understand you're not paying me overtime. Fuck you for that. But to deny me a day off because "we are too busy" and you can clearly see I'm fucking falling around due to illness is just a shit move.
"no doctors note, no time off". Yeah. You don't give me time to go to the doctor.
So you know what I did? I fucking went to the doctor now. Said I'm sick as a dog. Gave me a few days off too.
I should have asked him to prescribe my director a butternut sized suppository that cures all "I'm a shithead" ailments.
Time to try and turn my phone off for a few days (won't work. "oh no! We hired fuck twits who can't do their job, and now our skilled dev is sick" director "FUCKING PHONE HIM" this shit really happens.).
Excuse my grammar, my spelling, and possibly my punication. Time to sleep after 65 hours.4
So lets start here, as i have been preparing myself for a while for that rant. I have been putting it off for a while, but today I had enough.
Fuck react-native and fuck facebook react-native team. Bunch of lazy incompetent twats.
The all amazing framework that suppose to be speed up your development process, since you don't have to compile your code after each change. SO FUCKING WHAT if the god damned framework is so fucking buggy and so fucking shit that you constantly have to fix build, dependancies etc issues. Every day since I work on this project that is using react-native I have to deal with some of the react fucked up behaviour. You got an issue ? don't worry google it just to find out that 100 other people had the same issue. Scroll through down the bottom of the page just to find out that facebook devs have closed the issue as resolved (without fucking fixing it) because there wasnt recent replies to the post. Are you fucking kidding me? It's ok thou, create a new issue just to get an automatic reply from the bot that locks the thread and keeps it locked till you update your React-native version to the newest one. You do that and guess fucking what? Their newest version fucks up remote debugging on iOS(fucking android been broke for over a year) so say good bye to debugging your js code. Documentation is fucking trash. You found a nice function like autoCaptialise on your text input? Great! Ah wait, its not fucking working, what is wrong? You google this just to fucking found out it, function never worked on android, so why the fuck you still have it exposed and still have it in your docs? You want to add package? So fucking ez, just type npm install <name of the package>. Ha! fuck you, you still have to go and add them fucking manually in gradle in android and in pod in xcode, because obviously react-native is a one big fucking bullshit. Oh and a scroll view is a fucking glorious highlight of that framework, try add some styling to it, you gonna have loads of fun. Fuck react-native. And fuck the fucking idiot who convinced my boss that framework is so fucking great and now I have to work on this shit. Sincerely Xamarin Developer.10
TL:DR; DON'T GET INTEL+NVIDIA LAPTOP FOR LINUX.
In the same vain as Linus Torvalds: "Fuck Nvidia, and Intel".
Trying to get intel+nvidia laptop prime w/e working is a living hell.
I'm running Manjaro(arch for lazy people) with I3-gaps(larbs).
So Manjaro provides this handy script/program mhwd that supposedly would enable the non free blob Nvidia driver except it doesn't work cause it uses bumblebee and it's saying it can't find the clearly installed fucking Nvidia driver.
Bashing my head against a wall is more fucking productive then getting my cum stain of laptop to work properly.
"Just disable the intel graphics in bios"
I would except my old shitty Acer bios piece of fucking crap can't even after booting Windows for usb hdd and flashing BIOS.
GUESS WHAT LINUX COMMUNITY THAT'S WHY NOBODY WANTS TO FREAKING USE LINUX FOR GAMING.
I fucking love Linux but I gave up gaming for it.
I'll start joining red team from now on instead of trying to use your broken shit.21
One of our clients IT team is lazy as fuck they slack too much, it took them 2 weeks just to respond our email (We already sent like 2-3 reminders in between).
Client:"We fucking pay you and it's still not ready, how much time it will take?"
Us: Just respond to that email ffs so we can proceed.
Client: Oh, there was an Email? we will have a look into that.
Even after, it took them 4days to send fields which were meant to be sent like 2weeks before.
(in between 4days we had called them just for the fields again and even after the fucking call they send that fucking fields after one reminder)
And of course, still, the blame game is on us.2
Why in fucks name you do not deal with JSON responses?
Plugin devs are either lazy, or simply stupid as fuck!
Ps: Or I'm actually crazy6
Im now working as a fulltime dev for 3 years. I do programming since im 9 and now that I collected some experience, I have to to say, its horrible. Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with german internship companys? Letting me do 3 years of FUCKING CRYSTAL REPORTS. IN A DEVELOPMENT TEAM THAT CONSISTS OF A TEAM LEAD THAT ACTUALLY HAS TO LEARN SHIT LIKE PROPER OOP AND ASYNC/AWAIT FROM ME. THEY EVEN ASKED ME IF I CAN DROP OF MY HOBBY PROJECTS TO WORK ON SAMPLES THAT THEY CAN LEARN FROM! NO! FUCK! JUST BECAUSE THESE DOUCHBAGS ARE TOO LAZY TO FUCKING LEARN TECHNOLOGY THEY SHOULD BE PASSIONATE ABOUT IN THEIR FREE TIME, IM NOT MAKING IT MY JOB TO FREAKING SHOW THEM THAT HAVING A STATIC CLASS CONTAINING ALL MODELS EVER EXISTED IN THE APP IS A BAD THING! SERIOUSLY, THERES ONLY ONE INSTANCE OF EVERY MODEL WE HAVE! AND THEN THEY BLAME SQL SERVER FOR RACE CONDITIONS WHEN TRYING ASYNC!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! AND STILL, IF I TELL THEM WHATS WRONG, IM AN IDIOT BECAUSE IM A JUNIOR! Please tell me that i didnt waste 10 years of my life dedicating to such bullshit. Will that change? Is it company specific?9
Group assignment in a software engineering class. Got that notorious lazy kid in my group of four who failed the class in the last term. I was perfectly aware of his reputation, but accepted him in the group nonetheless, because he already knows what needs to be done in the class.
He started to work on his assignment: mostly boilerplate code that didn't even build. He didn't even bother to fix it. I had a lot of time over the Easter weekend, so I decided to just code as much for the assignment as possible for the mid-term submission. I replaced his broken boilerplate stuff with a working solution. I told the others in the group chat about it. Code works and builds, test coverage is high. Everything is fine.
The lazy kid replied to the group chat, that if I'd wanted to code and document(!) everything on my own, I should have told him in the first place. Also got that "fuck off" emoji in the message. So I restored his broken boilerplate stuff using git, even fixed the build errors and told him to explain to me what he tried to achieve, and that I'd be happy to include his code as soon as it worked. Didn't hear anything since. Commits neither.
I guess he was just looking for an excuse for not doing additional work in the project.1
Sorry I haven't been as active lately, however this is one of the better prompts, so I feel I should have it in my track record. Beware, it's a long one...
Let's trace the roots: My uncle was building desktops and he told my dad he'd build him one if my dad paid him for the components. These days I know builds aren't rocket science, but back then my parents didn't do their research. So my dad paid him.
Give or take some time, and most of the parts are complete. He underestimated the prices of a few things and had to ask for $200 more to complete the build. This...caused my dad to explode.
Later, I heard my dad ranting to my stepmom in January 2017 about how the last convo he had with his brother was a "Fuck-you conversation" - it was the last because my uncle had died in 2003.
Flash forward to March 2017. My mom and I are sitting in a Fazoli's, a nice sunset out of the full-length windows. I had to probe. HAD TO.
"You promise you won't tell your dad I told you this?" she asked.
"You know Kellie and I can't stand to be around him." I replied.
As the story goes, that last "Fuck-you conversation"? Over a fucking measly $200. Yup, the last conversation between my dad and his brother to ever happen was a shouting match over a relatively short amount of money. I wish I could say my dad had remorse, but he doesn't. He still talks shit. He's also technologically illiterate, so I doubt there was a way his brother was going to be able to reason with him.
In late 2003, my uncle, who had been a smoker, passed away due to cardiac arrest. The build was still not finished. This was one of the OTHER things that I have mixed feelings about.
After my uncle passed, my aunt paid someone to finish the build and get it shipped to my dad. We'll get back to why I feel this is fucked up, stay tuned...
It's Spring 2004. I'm in the last half of what I think is Kindergarten or some shit...too lazy to do the math. Anyway, my dad announces we have a family computer - however, I couldn't read yet. That didn't stop the waste of oxygen that is my father from going in the Windows XP screensavers and putting text in that said "GAGE MORGAN WILL NOT TOUCH THIS COMPUTER." He's such a fuckin' dick, now AND back then.
My mom had an issue with this. I don't know why, but she did. Later, I was slowly taught how to use the mouse, under heavy supervision. Then I went to my grandma's house. She taught me one very specific thing on her old Win98 (386, maybe? IDK my old hw shit man), and because I know you guys are gonna love this one:
"The blue "e" opens up your games!"
The blue "e" does not open up your games, it opens something that can lead to your games.
I went home and tried this...without permission. My dad came down and discovered my lollygagging on the homepage - this is fucking weird. It was before Nextel, IIRC, so Sprint's logo was red still. Yes, we had broadband from Sprint. I don't know what saga led to that going the way of the dodo, but...
Back on track, I literally got my pants pulled down and had my bare bottom beat. He was gonna drag my ass upstairs and lock me in my room, but before he could, he accidentally slammed MY FUCKING RIGHT TEMPLE into the corner of a hardwood table at the bottom of the staircase.
The wailing that resulted probably was different than the previous form, which is probably what got my mom involved. My dad had a way of going too far, and in retrospect I'm more terrified now of what could've happened than I was then.
Later, I was given access to games in the form of my own account and bookmarks bar. That wasn't the end of the madness/drama from my use of that machine, but it was the earliest form.
Ever since Kindergarten, that one fateful day, I've been defying any/all imposed limitations on tech set on me by my parents...well, not anymore, but literally grades K-12. I'm living on my own, aka "adulting" now. It sucks more than you think, man.
Let's tie this up before I reach the limit. I said I thought it was fucked up when my aunt paid to have the build finished and shipped to us after my uncle's death.
Yes, my aunt's intervention led to me ultimately majoring in computer science.
That doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't have done it.
My dad was an asshole to her husband, who passed. She is ultimately too caring. I don't think my jackass father should've been able to get by with that, he didn't deserve the freebie. Someone else should've told him his brother did in fact need that $200.
I haven't seen her IRL since the funeral when my grandpa passed in 2005. 2006 spelled the end of my parents' marriage.
Hope you guys enjoyed this - it's only a small segment of how I got to where I am now - tiny, actually.2
Aren't you, software engineer, ashamed of being employed by Apple? How can you work for a company that lives and shit on the heads of millions of fellow developers like a giant tech leech?
Assuming you can find a sounding excuse for yourself, pretending its market's fault and not your shitty greed that lets you work for a company with incredibly malicious product, sales, marketing and support policies, how can you not feel your coders-pride being melted under BILLIONS of complains for whatever shitty product you have delivered for them?
Be it a web service that runs on 1980 servers with still the same stack (cough cough itunesconnect, membercenter, bug tracker, etc etc etc etc) incompatible with vast majority of modern browsers around (google at least sticks a "beta" close to it for a few years, it could work for a few decades for you);
be it your historical incapacity to build web UI;
be it the complete lack of any resemblance of valid documentation and lets not even mention manuals (oh you say that the "status" variable is "the status of the object"? no shit sherlock, thank you and no, a wwdc video is not a manual, i don't wanna hear 3 hours of bullshit to know that stupid workaround to a stupid uikit api you designed) for any API you have developed;
be it the predatory tactics on smaller companies (yeah its capitalism baby, whatever) and bending 90 degrees with giants like Amazon;
be it the closeness (christ, even your bugtracker is closed and we had to come up with openradar to share problems that you would anyway ignore for decades);
be it a desktop ui api that is so old and unmaintained and so shitty, but so shitty, that you made that cancer of electron a de facto standard for mainstream software on macos;
be it a IDE that i am disgusted to even name, xcrap, that has literally millions of complains for the same millions of issues you dont even care to answer to or even less try to justify;
be it that you dont disclose your long term plans and then pretend us to production-test and workaround-fix your shitty non-production ready useless new OS features;
be it that a nervous breakdown on a stupid little guy on the other side of the planet that happens to have paid to you dozens of thousands of euros (in mandatory licences and hardware) to actually let you take an indecent cut out of his revenues cos there is no other choice in a monopoly regime, matter zero to you;
Assuming all of these and much more:
How can you sleep at night with all the screams of the devs you are exploiting whispering in you mind? Are all the money your earn worth?
** As someone already told you elsewhere, HAVE SOME FUCKING PRIDE, shitty people AND WRITE THE FUCKING DOCS AND FIX THE FUCKING BUGS you lazy motherfuckers, your are paid more than 99.99% of people on earth, move your fucking greasy little fingers on that fucking keyboard. **
PT2: why the fuck did you remove the ESC key from your shitty keyboards you fuckshits? is it cos autocomplete is slower than me searching the correct name of a function on stackoverflow and hence ESC key is useless? at least your hardware colleagues had the decency of admitting their error and rolling back some of the uncountable "questionable "hardware design choices (cough cough ...magic mouse... cough golden charging cables not compatible with your own devices.. cough )?16
On a more positive note, after reading that facebook set a ton posts and pictures to public "accidentally" - I finally deleted my near old age, never used facebook account, that I was tbh just too lazy to delete or thought I'd sometime have some value looking back to people I haven't talked to in multiple decades and couldn't give a flying fuck about
Before that I downloaded "all" (tbh what did I expect, there's not even a folder like "tagged in", which obv. is data they have too) the data they collected for the time, that I did use it and I am glad basically all creepy named folders had nothing in them, like e.g. phone call logs, since I never as far as I remember installed the app on my phones
btw: does somebody know what happened to @nanos? he seemed to have just disappeared4
There were so many days when I just want to skip work because I'm lazy and I have no critical tasks. The only reason I stopped doing that is because when I was still a probationary employee and only had a few paid leaves, I experienced a one day deduction and it blew my mind how much I'm actually earning right now and how much I'm throwing away when I could just show up.
I do not pay attention to my paycheck that much. I negotiate my salary all the time but it didn't really sink in how much it grew until I saw how much I actually lose from being a lazy fuck. Now I have 30 days paid leaves and I'm not even touching any of it, not like there's anywhere to go at this time.
It sounds weird that I don't know this but here, it's common for people to always be looking forward to the next payday and be struggling more as the date comes near. When it's payday, almost everyone acts like millionaires. I remember that in my old company, when people said it's payday and I looked clueless, they say "You're so rich that you don't even look at your money."
I'm not rich, at least not in the definition of I can retire right now and it wouldn't be a problem or I have a helicopter and a mansion but I'm glad I don't have the kind of lifestyle where my financial stability is threatened every time I get close to payday.6
Why Gmail. Why the fuck do your search parameters, especially your date filters, not work anywhere near as expected.
You make me have to query and test, query and test, just, randomly fucking guessing because, fuck it, right?
With a good 10 second refresh time. I love twiddling my thumbs and pulling my hair out.
after:2018/11/1 should produce emails from Nov 1st onward.
Not, TODAY ONLY, if no other parameters are
If there's a from: parameter, now we want to do after Nov 1st, right?
And also, don't show me how to sort in reverse order, either. Not without a complete rewrite of my class there, which clearly I'm too lazy to do right now.
Fuck the Gmail Api, responsible for weeks of wasted dev time... or more aptly put, "fuck devs using our gmail api" says the maniacal, sociopath devils that created it
Just having a thought that might label me as "stupid" into the eyes of an anonymous community, but whatever.
I hate money. I don't like the fact that it is the new god, the sole motivator, the sole distinction between successful and failure, and the only way to achieve happiness.We as a living being have come so far into getting entangled to just green chits of paper.
I don't know man, maybe i haven't seen much money to be really wanting it . My family has always been not very wealthy, i was often told to "adjust", but after a while that doesn't sounded like a bad option.
Maybe i am too lazy, but in the past few weeks , when i was working from home in my internships , or simply learning new things, i would stand up after 2-3 hours and go sit with my mom, or she would just yell from her room to get milk from the store, .. and that felt satisfying.. being with family, doing chores other than work.
I clearly remember my horrible internship experience.. wake up at 7 , reach office at 9 , burn your brain in front of screen for 9-10 hrs while being in a constant pressure of doing stuff fast, checking out at 8 , reaching home at 10, eating , shitting and back to sleep.
Like why do i want money? to get happiness. Am i happy? fucking no. Your experiences might be better, but this is the way it is: get money somehow and buy your happiness.
Imagine a world with no money. You are free to do whatever you want, you can have whatever you want, you can ask others to provide services they usually provide , and they would, and likewise from your side.
looks like a stupid vision, right? "Why would Someone do anything for free?Why would 'I' do anything for free for anyone?" i can't give you of practical examples(coz this vision is already hypothetical) , but i believe there won't be long before you would accept to do work if money is not the driving factor, out of sheer boredom or curiosity. I believe its like Eating free Pizzas forever, how long before you get fed up of eating that fat and rather hitting the gym?
Similarly you won't be really liking to not do anything if money is not a motivator. and if you do, evolution would probably handle you by making you extinct. This is usually the dream of most people "To earn so much that one day we will have a nice home, we will be focusing on our health, doing good deeds", etc . So why not now?
(damn i have started to sound like some priest or baba, let me say some fuckoffs and window sucks , fuck apple stuff to be back into the reality)
Money just brings the negativity with itself. Even the 2nd richest man in the world is accused of using mal-practices in his 20s to achieve the wealth he is using so positively today. did money really brought you a good image for everyone? probably not.
I have to usually think between applying for jobs, to decide my worth. "No i shouldn't be applying for a job paying $20/h, i am worth $200/h" why? why can't i just go for a work that is more interesting and not care about the fact that if am not paid enough, i might loose the opportunity to be happy?
People kill for money, they demean for money, they hate each other for money, when its just a dead piece of paper. likewise they die with absence of money, they die due to excess of money, they buy happiness due to money, why?
I can think of 100s of examples where money is the root-cause of evil. The best one i find in the recent netflix series i watched : narcos . A guy sells coke to the whole wide world to buy happiness for him and his family . He also distributes his money among a particular poor village which ends up getting better due to his deeds and everyone there treats him like a god.
money fucks this story.
- "why a guy needs to sell poison to others?" >> to earn money.
- "why" ? because he deserve happiness.
- "So is he bad now?" Not really because he also donated his money to poor
- "why ?" because others also deserved to be happy and maybe because he also felt bad for selling poison.
- "So is he good person now?" um..16
First Happy new year, now lets get put on the dancing shoes... (I have another one coming, but this one is fresh)
As a PHP developer (yeah I am and I like it, if you gonna hate on me... go fuck yourself) I expect to not be required to reinvent the wheel when I have to use something that is not too mainstream (in my case was producing JSON and XML HAL responses). Now there are 2 (fairly active and somewhat mature), one of which does not produce XML responses, so off I went with the other one, but for fucks sake it does not produce XML that is compliant with the (draft)RFC (https://tools.ietf.org/html/...)
So as I need that, I decided to write one myself, since extending the one that provided XML would've been a waste of time, since it is NOT documented and for some reason depends on about 4 packages (also developed by the same maintainer), why the whining you ask, eh? Well fuck this shit. It took me 2(+2 classes) to achieve everything (according to standard as far as I can tell) + went with using a "hydrator" as opposed to reflection (the lib used reflection and didn't care too much for the access modified on the property of the object being serialized) so got a pretty solid performance boost, cleaner and simple code (I wrote it for a few hours and it is ugly, but hey KISS and it works perfectly)...
So with the more ranty part of this rant... Why the fuck so many people don't write independant packages for the simple parts... I don't hate it when I need a package and end up downloading half of the codebase of symfony or whatever fancy framework the dev decided to use, wasn't it the point of having 'package managers' (composer, npm, etc.. you get the deal..) instead of promote our projects and not force others to use our favorite framework that is absolutely out of scope for their projects...
Fuck you, fuck me and fuck everybody... If this continues I will continue writing my own packages from scratch, because "you" asshole are too lazy to learn and apply SOLID and common sense; even if your life depends on it you cannot write a meaningful piece of code without "the fancy framework of the month" holding your hand and allowing you to continue being a dumbass that has enough brain cells to walk straight and remember that you have to go to the toilet and not shit all over the place....
FML.... Fuck this shit and that is the main reason my gears grind the most when I head "you should use *framework name* instead" or "don't reinvent the wheel", fuck that guy I refuse to work my ways around a framework in order to get things done, my boss aint happy for that shit you know, I don't get paid to deal with your crappy code or uninformed opinion..3
Who is the brain-damaged engineer at Samsung that decided that a capacitive touch buttons on an induktion cooktop is the way to go. As soon a waterdrop falls on any button the stove goes "FUCK IT, I'M OUT" and shut itselfs off for about 30 seconds.
How wonderful when you have 4 different pots that must have different temperatures and you must use each [+] - button sequentially because the idiot engineer was to lazy to make the input be able to handle several buttons at once!
Stupid idiot engineer and QA department!2
I want to get started hard on a cool project but I’m stuck watching Silicon Valley.
Fuck my laziness9
Okay, so yesterday was crazy. So crazy, in fact, that I'm not even typing this on my phone. I'm typing it on an LG G4.
So, I took an Uber out to a Sprint store I'd been told did repairs. My phone's vibrator was broken. So, basically I thought just like that R&M episode "20 minutes adventure in and out" - only to find out they'd need to wipe my goddamn phone, and then send it to Texas. I now have to wait 6 days for my phone lmfao.
So, in the meantime, they took an hour to get me this G4 which makes me miss all the finer things in life - I miss my USB-C and not having to give a damn about how I plug it in and I miss my fingerprint reader (I know, I'm a lazy fuck with first-world problems. I don't care to hear about how fucking stupid I am for either of those thoughts, STFU). Also the G4 is prone to hardware failures, so they said they weren't too happy about giving me this, but it's the only one with NFC.
So in the middle of setup, the Sprint store's power went out. FUUUUUUCK. The phone was pretty much at 5% battery and was being slow as hell, so you can just about imagine the irritation me and this guy had when the phone died in the middle of setup.
The next thing is an unrelated story, but I'm sure some of you older guys here will love this. I was at a place called Triangle Park last night. I go there for burgers, but they also have a bar. Sometimes I get sent to the bar and the bartender gets me my food. So last night I went to pick the food up from the bar for takeout.
The bartender must've had an accident and messed something up, so she told me to sit at the bar. I thought it was obvious I was only 19, so I barely sat. I'm literally not old enough to sit at the bar, even though when I was younger my dad and his friends used to let me sit with them because I had a history of saying stupid shit that made his friends laugh. Nonetheless, I sat with my ass hanging off the edge because I knew it was wrong :/
She comes back and asks what type of drink I want. I had to tell her that I was 19. I wasn't gonna sit here and lie because I'm pretty sure she could've lost her job for serving a minor. I exited and waited in the lobby.
But are we at the point where 19-year-olds look like 25-year-olds? I don't want to think about this because it means I'm getting older. That's a lot to take in. Later in the night it was still gnawing at my gut.
Yesterday was one hella day man.5
I need to vent or I'm going to fucking explode like a car filled with bombs in motherfucking Iraq...
A couple of months ago I inherited a project in development from our team leader who was the sole developer on it and he was the one who designed every single thing in it.
I was told the project is clean, follows design patterns, and over all the code is readable and easy.
Those were all fucking lies.
See throughout the period he was working on it, I saw some of the code as it was going through some pull requests. I remember asking the dev why he doesn't comment his code? His response was the most fucking condescending shit I've ever heard: "My code is self-documenting"...
Now that I have full control over the code base I realize that he over engineered the shit out of it. If you can think of a software design pattern, it is fucking there. I'm basically looking at what amounts to a personal space given to that dev to experiment with all kind of shit.
Shit is way too over engineered that I'm not only struggling to understand what the hell is going on or how the data flows from the database to the UI and in reverse, I'm now asked to finish the remaining part and release it in 8 weeks.
Everything is done in the most complicated way possible and with no benefits added at all.
Never in my career have I ever had to drag my sorry ass out of bed to work because I always woke up excited to go to work... well except for the last 2 weeks. This project is now taking a mental toll and is borderline driving me crazy.
Oh, did i tell you that since he was the only dev with no accountability whatsoever, we DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS LEFT TO BE IMPLEMENTED?
The Project Manager is clueless.. the tickets board is not a source of truth because tickets set to resolved or complete were actually not even close to complete. FUCK THIS SHIT.
For the last week I've been working on 1 single fucking task. JUST 1. The whole code base is a mine field. Everything is done in the most complicated way and it is impossible for me to do anything without either breaking shit ton of other features (Loosely coupled my ass) or getting into fights with all the fucking libraries he decided to use and abuse.
1 whole week and I can't even get the task done. Everyday I have to tell the project manager, face to face, that I'm still struggling with this or that. It's true, but i think the project manager now thinks i am incompetent or just lazy and making excuses.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand the what and why behind every decision he made with this code. But I'm sick to my stomach now thinking that I have to deal with this tomorrow again.
I don't know if I'll make the deadline. But I'm really worried that when this is released, I'll be the one maintaining that nightmare of a code base.
From now on, if i hear a fucking developer say their code is "self-documenting" I will shove my dick + a dragon dildo + an entire razor gaming keyboard up their ass while I shoot their fucking knees off.
oh... and there are just a couple of pages of documentation... AND THEY ARE NOT COMPLETE.2
[LinkedIn, Recruiter InMail]
I am Lazy As Fuck, and I'm looking for people to work for a company that pays me for doing nothing.
Do you know anyone that is an Angular developer? If you do, please tell them to send me their resume and phone number.
Happened to me a while ago:
co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!4
This basically is me rambling all my thoughts that have been clouding my mind.
Learning other programming languages after learning the first is harder than I expected. I learned python first but that's making learning others (which I know arent similar but ) C, ES6, PHP, etc. I need to figure out what makes each one special and get a proper path instead of learning them all the same way. Which is easier for the web dev languages but fuck man I just need a good path for them and I'm good. Like learn this this this this that and that and I've got a basic understanding of the language I dont need to stress and I can casually build my knowledge from here now that I understand all this. Cause I love programming and I want to be the best I can be and just get to the level I am with python. And at some point I have to learn about basic electronics and learning how to program Arduinos with C so I can do stuff with that because I really really REALLY want to.
It doesnt stop there. I want to learn another language and no I'm not talkin bout programming anymore I mean I wanna learn Japanese and German (but japanese primarily) but it doesnt help that I'm always either in school, studying, programming, or playing games. I just cant find time to practice Hiragana&Katakana (two basic writing systems in japan) and it doesnt help that I'm a lazy procrastinating piece of shit that doesnt have or can keep a proper schedule and hell I barely can English and Its my native tongue. Ugh. Itd be better if I had a native speaker to help me tbh.
And finally I want to learn basic pixel animating I have dreamed as a kid to do some kind of animation and programming and I want to do both for games I want to program for fun but it doesnt help that I cant draw sprites or anything for shit. I cant get it and I just am fucked but I'm going to ask some people I know and a few subreddits for advice/help/resources with that
Welp that was the Bubbles Power Hour none of you probably are keen followers of mine and if I had any I'd be shocked and honored but thanks for reading anyways and any advice on anything is always appreciated!11
I am pretty sure that I am not the only one who is lazy as Fuck most of the time but when I sit to code I write enough snippets that can be combined to form Baxter building.3
I must come clean with you all.
Sometimes when im tired i use printf instead of debug when im debugging Kernel shits thats broken.
As im debugging OverDrive because well i coudlnt overclock the GPU. I come to a nice suprise. Its not that OverDrive would be broken. Its actually OK suprisingly. Its that some idiot at Acer or some other OEM forgot to put VBIOS OD limit inside the PP table. I fucking hate when people are lazy when they develop Proprietery shit and they just put stuff thats required only and dont care about the rest. I mean why would they right ?
Why would they do their fucking job ?
No No No they just leave it to Kernel devs to fix their mess.
So basically the kernel is checking the PP table for the limit and if it finds it its all OK but if not well in old versions of kernel it would turn OD off totally. Now it says nothing and just enables you to underclock it. Well yeah thats totally useful to me. If they at least put something like "Hey your dGPU VBIOS OEM forgot to do their job and didnt include OD limits so we will just let you underclock it if thats something you want to do"
Well i guess setting crazy hardcoded limit in kernel it is because well if i cant do it properly then well fuck i will get OverDrive to fucking work i swear.
Oh and Acer you made Haxk20 angry lot of times but this is top of the list. FUCK YOU.6
Why the fuck nobody talks about Multi-page apps?! We went from a Web where everything was Multi-page server-rendered, and now everything for Web developers is "Single-page apps".
What about websites who can't do that? Not everything can be a single-page app. Only my uncle's restaurant website, or something which is TRULY a full app. No half choices.
If your website is a multi-page app/portal which actually PRELOADS data, instead of doing 100 fetch to an API within a page that is full of loading bars, well, your life is a pain.
When you want a first contentful paint which isn't a white page, well, your life is a pain.
What are React, Vue, Ember, Angular (let's exclude Svelte and Marko) going to do about Multi-page apps and SSR?
React-router sucks to me. It's performance is weak and it's useful only when you have an SPA with multiple sections which can be treated as pages (e.g. A single SPA divided in tabs).
Server-side rendering is the worst pain ever made by humanity, in React (and prob Vue, I didn't try but I can bet). And even when made easier from libs like Svelte and Marko, I (personally) can't get it to be faster enough compared to a traditional website without a JS framework and with a templating engine.
Anyways, if there's anything that I learnt from React, is to stay away from Next.js. Perfect, beautiful, mess.
All JS frameworks just seem to bloat the code and make it worse and slower, even though they're REALLY helpful.
Why? Why everyone loves them if their downsides are so clear? Why 3 projects out of 3 I made (1 React SSR, 1 Vue, 1 Marko SSR) are and will stay painfully slow and bloated, full of shit, even if in 2020 we should have evolved with the famous three shaking, with the famous lazy loading, etc.?
I am just frustrated.
And let's not even talk about Webpack, Rollup, Lasso, those module bundlers shit which are harder to configure and understand than finding a needle in a haystack.
Lasso was the easiest to configure but I anyways can't understand it. Webpack seems it was made to handle SPAs, as any tool in this freaking world, and not even considering an easy way to integrate multiple bundles for multiple pages (I know it's pretty easy, but with component sharing between pages and big unique bundles Next.js handles it soooo bad it feels like hell).
Am I the only one?
Sorry for the long rant. I just needed to rant right now.18
If there's something I fucking hate with all my goddamned soul is when you post something online and people get in their fucking high horse and judge you or tell you what to do
Like I understand if you're talking shit about people in the same community, then if someone tells you you're an idiot, I get it.
But if you're ranting about someone off site, then why judge this person? What's the damage being caused to you or the site?
For example, let's say I rant about my wife and the things that annoy me about her, and I use some colorful language to get it off my chest.
There's always one motherfucker, one stupid piece of shit that says something out of line.
In general it's one of these things:
* "wow, you need to calm down, you clearly treat her like shit, she is better than you*
YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF DOGSHIT. DO YOU HAVE CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE AS TO ASSUME THAT I TALK TO HER IN THE SAME MANNER AS I DID IN THIS POST?
YOU GULLIBLE SHIT EATER.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THIS. I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE OR A MONSTER. I AM JUST R-A-N-T-I-N-G.
AND I RANT IN THIS MANNER SO AS TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST AND NOT FIGHT WITH HER. AND IT TENDS TO WORK. DOES IT REALLY NEED TO BE EXPLAINED?
Jaysus fucking christ. These people actually have the imagination of a fish, they can't fucking connect the dots.
Judging someone online is an egotistical thing. People like to judge others because of that morality high. It's the snack of the morally lazy.
Repeat with me: "I am flawed too, I have problems too. I should never judge others easily, let alone without full fucking context".
* "op, you should do <terrible advice>"
these ones are better, because they are trying to help, but still annoying as fuck.
they come in two forms:
old smug and condescending washed up idiots who overrate their life lessons and think they are applicable to every person A PRIORI.
yeah, fuck case by case analysis, these dinosaurs think they're the wise elders of the village.
Age does not immediately mean your advices are valid, your advices are valid on the sole merit of being valid by themselves.
I don't give 2 fucks if you're 60 or 120. If your advices are bullshit, please spare me the idiocy and the lack of case analysis.
I had old people tell me "trust me kid, happy wife, happy life" wtf is that shit? MY WIFE IS NOT YOUR WIFE.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY WIFE. MY WIFE IS ACTUALLY COOL, BUT SHE COULD BE AN ACTUAL PSYCHO AND I COULD BE OMITTING THAT FROM MY POST.
THEREFORE, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY.
This reminds of that disgusting reddit post where a father asked advice on /r/relationships about her wife, and people told him "dude, duh, divorce her".
Guess what, she ends up murdering both of her children.
You would think such post would serve a lesson as to be careful giving advice online. But no, people think they're fucking dr phil or something with EXTREMELY LITTLE case knowledge.
People need to talk a bit less and listen a whole lot more.
You want to know how to help a person who is expressing problems?
You want to know how to be REALLY conpassionate?
Just listen. You can give minimal advice, but listening is the most important, with some occasional "i feel you man".
Everytime a journalist asks a suicide disuader what do they do, they always say the same " i just listen to their problems".
ITS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE FOLKS. YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD PERSON? CLOSE THE MOUTH AND TAKE THE WAX OUTTA YA EARS.
There's also the younger ones who think they can help when they don't even have no experience at all.
This is being naive, but I Iike that more than the smugness of old people.12
So the guy I replaced as the senior dev on my project (because he was lazy) is now trying to give me advice on how to cleanup my code.... This is the motherfucker who blatantly copies and pastes from one library to another and pushes the code without doing ANY testing and so I had to spend many weekends cleaning up his pile of shit code, and now I have 3 new tickets labelled 'style updates' that he wants me to merge in.... Fuck him, I'm not merging his code4
Rant time. Oh boi.
So, a bit of context: I am a university student in Greece and I have a desktop PC with elementary OS on it. When the unis closed down because of Coronavirus, I moved back to my parents', without my PC, only a usb stick with elementary OS installed on it. That was before the lockdown. My parents have a desktop PC and my old laptop, both with Windows rn. I'm only able to work using Linux, so I've been just popping that elementary OS USB stick whenever I needed to work.
All cool and good. Until the usb got full. It was a 16GB one after all. No biggie, I bought a new 64GB one from a well known Greek tech shop along with a webcam my mother needed. It was a LEXAR one.
They fucking took a week to transfer it. As if the closest shop to me was in fucking Germany. For context, the drawing tablet I bought from China the other day only did 2 weeks to come. During this time I could barely use Linux because my USB stick had only some 600MB free.
Ok, wtv I said to myself. I am a patient person after all. I received the USB stick, along with the webcam, in good condition, in their packaging. Alright. I dd'ed everything from the 16GB stick to the 64GB one and then I extend the partition. Everything works flawlessly. And it's faster too.
Next day, I boot up from it again. It boots up good. Nice, time to do some work. I open my editor. And it fucking freezes. The editor is not some VSCode or Atom or any of that heavy shit, it's just elementary OS Code. A very lightweight Gtk3 app. Strangely though, the rest of my OS (the dock autohide, eg.) Seems totally responsive. I try to open another app. No luck. Not even switching TTYs work. Good shit. I force shutdown my PC. I try to boot again from that piece of shit. And guess what! NO BOOT BITCH. Like, fuck you. I boot from my previous 16GB one. Linux won't recognize it. No /dev/sdc like I used to have. Ok, lsusb. Nope, nothing. I disconnect it and reconnect it, and lsusb. An empty entry appears.I run it a couple of times, and the it disappears again. I switch to TTY 2. I get read errors and usb error -71.
And I want to fucking explode
I call back to support for the warranty coverage. I wait for a good 10 minutes and a nice lady picks up. I tell her the issue. She says that the support team will call me for the issue this day it the next day.
I hang up.
It feels like some fucking prank. YOU MOTHERFUCKING TOOK SO LONG TO DELIVER MY SHIT. Not to mention that the shitty courier service they are working with wouldn't deliver the goods to my home because it's slightly out of town. AND NOW YOU ARE DELAYING MY WARRANTY RETURN? HOW THE FLYING FUCK DID YOU BECOME A WELL KNOWN TECH SHOP WITH SUCH SHITTY SERVICE?
IF YOUR BRAINS WERE DYNAMITE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO BLOW YOUR NOSES.
YOUR THE SERVICE EQUIVALENT OF A PARTICIPATION AWARD.
Foreigners' view of Greeks suddenly doesn't seem so unreasonable. Yes, we are fucking lazy asses. And we also hate that. We hate each other for that very reason. May this country not live any longer.6
So last year I sent my PC to get a motherboard replacement, as I couldn't be arsed replacing it or even research what motherboard I should get(was dealing with more urgent personal matters).
Anyway, I get it back and everything works good but not the front USB port.. I always found it weird, but also didn't bother to open the case and double check, so I let it go and assumed, since the motherboard was fried, that the USB wires were faulty.
Time passes by and I decide to open the case for annual cleaning job... Turns out the motherfucker didn't connect the port, why?? Fucks knows why... Obviously the wires were "short" and he didn't even try to pull it out further!!! You little piece of shit,for a full year I've been living with a missing usb port, the fucking front facing mother fucking usb port. Fuck.
Moral of story? Don't be a lazy ass and fix your shit on your own!4
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!!
What the fucking shit, Arch. In what universe/reality is a user expected to easily/quickly address GPG/PGP bullshit when they install Arch. It's already hilarious enough as it is for the user to input every single command in order to install the thing. -- That's actually what's great about Arch; you get return and assurance from each command. -- I understood the fact that you need the latest ISO release in order to even install Arch, but now, if you decide to pacstrap linux-hardened, or god forbid, a package that is who knows what, less maintained?... fuck knows what will happen.
The fantastic part, is that you can't do shit when you're in an arch ISO install. All of the simple and possible solutions that involve GPG DBs/keyrings/etc require you to have the all of the shit installed already; which is fucking impossible if the package manager is bitching about keys not being imported. The most fantastic part, is that there is probably some complete bullshit, ultra-exclusive command or simple solution that will fix this crap. - And if you even dare ask the Arch forums, you'll be branded as a "newbie" and sentenced to read the fucking wiki. - ??? -- That's not a fucking good thing. -- The majority of people who are installing Arch right now, are people who are installing it for the first time, and chances are, most of those people have no fucking clue what is happening; they're learning what is happening. Furthermore, they're probably the kind of people who aren't inclined (or they don't know how) to scour Google or the Arch forums for answers to vague, lazy-ass error messages. The whole point of this thing is show and confront the user about what they're installing and what they want on their computer. Holy shit. This is all the more reason to ensure that total, stupid, ambiguous bullshit errors do not occur. -- "error: key "dogshit master <email@example.com>?" could not could not be imported". -- That's it. That's the error in it's entirety. For a fucking OS install. What the fuck.15
FUCK ME IN MY INDICES.
FUCK THE GPUS IN THEIR INDICES.
I mean... I understand (roughly) why the meshes are sent to gpu in this form, but at the same time...
...there's a reason why first thing I did when I was coding my procedural geometry generation library, was abstracting away all of that stuff...
...sadly, as many useful things, when I was looking for that lib on the start of this contract, I couldn't find it. and I was like "doesn't matter, this is a simple thing, using the library would be just a lazy overkill anyway".
two hours of playing around with two fucking triangles, trying to figure out which indexes are pointing to the correct vertices in a list containing FOUR outline paths.
(lower inner, upper inner, lower outer, upper outer, exacly in this order).
i mean, yeah, it's actually pretty straightforward stuff... for someone not as dumb as me =D
you just have two offsets, one that jumps you to start of the upper path, another that jumps you to the start of the outer path, then it's just
0 + upOffset to get the vertex extruded upwards from the zeroth of the inner path, or
0 + outOffset to get the zeroth from the outer outline, or
0 + outOffset + upOffset, to get the one extruded from zeroth outer vertex...
and so on.
simple stuff, then you just replace the zero with loop control var, put them in the right order, and voilá! walls!
except... whatever, why am I describing in such detail, not necessary, you're not my rubber duck =D
in short, figuring out which fuckin vertex is which, when the list contains ...well, any number of points, and you need to plug the gap between last and first points of the paths, where you need to wrap around the list...
...has proven to be surprisingly hard for me.
funny how much I love doing these things with meshes, despite how bad I am at doing them, which makes me hate doing them despite loving it =D2
TD;DR: I have school instead of vacation but 5 hours of spare time. I got my laptop with me and I'll work in school.
I didn't want to take part of the course-trip with the 12th graders (my course sucks, there are too many assholes for the neutral people to compensate). After speaking with the director, and the only condition was to tell the course why. I did deliver them a nicely put "fuck you, you bullied my only friend out of this school" and now is the time where I visit the 11-graders while the other 12-ers are on "school vacation".
I got a "new" plan for the courses I should visit. Today, Wednesday, I have 5 FUCKING FREE HOURS IN A ROW. Oh yes, baby, the teacher generating the plan hates me as well. (He really does but it's probably just unlucky not his fault).
So today, I decided, I would take my heavy-ass laptop with me, in a laptop bag, which doesn't fit into the school bag I have and my laptop doesn't fully fit in the laptop bag as well (sticks out), that's the perks of having a laptop!!
— so I can work on my (I wanna say this once in my life without being a professional) "CLIENTS PROJECT" - the funny thing is that the client is a (really fucking good but small) advertising agency and too lazy to design their own website. Since I had my internship, they know how hard I *can* work even without being payed. Now they do wanna pay me but that's another story.
I'm on the bus and I have this monster of a bag which isn't lighter than a freaking huge bag of rice and I'm so fucking excited for this day. The library is my best friend. Hopyfully I'm going to find a socket for power..
Sorry for so many commas, I'm german. :D3
So it finally sunk in that now is not the time to develop a commercial app. I never did it because reasons (too lazy to explain it all), but I always wanted to and this time I was determined to do it, but it dawned on me that now is not the time. Right now I have to do well in college and learn as much as I can.
Sadly that sweet sweet passive income will have to wait, but I'm kinda excited. I have basically freed myself from the feeling of guilt of making slow progress on my project. No more of that voice in the back of my head "but I should be developing the project, not this random thing". Now I'll basically just try my hand at a fuck ton of stuff, see what I like, maybe get an internship with a teacher of mine, who knows.2
Hey guys, first time writing here.
Around 8 months ago I joined a local company, developing enterprise web apps. First time for me working in a "real" programming job: I've been making a living from little freelance projects, personal apps and private programming lessons for the past 10 years, while on the side I chased the indie game dev dream, with little success. Then, one day, realized I needed to confront myself with the reality of 'standard' business, where the majority of people work, or risk growing too old to find a stable job.
I was kinda excited at first, looking forward to learning from experienced professionals in a long-standing company that has been around for decades. In the past years I coded almost 100% solo, so I really wanted to learn some solid team practices, refine my automated testing skills, and so on. Also, good pay, flexible hours and team is cool.
Then... I actually went there.
At first, I thought it was me. I thought I couldn't understand the code because I was used reading only mine.
I thought that it was me, not knowing well enough the quirks of web development to understand how things worked.
I though I was too lazy - it was shocking to see how hard those guys worked: I saw one guy once who was basically coding with one hand, answering a mail with another, all while doing some technical assistance on the phone.
Then I started to realize.
All projects are a disorganized mess, not only the legacy ones - actually the "green" products are quite worse.
Dependency injection hell: it seems like half of the code has been written by a DI fanatic and the other half by an assembly nostalgic who doesn't really like this new hippy thing called "functions".
Architecture is so messed up there are methods several THOUSANDS of lines long, and for the love of god most people on the team don't really even know WHAT those methods are for, but they're so intertwined with the rest of the codebase no one ever dares to touch them.
No automated test whatsoever, and because of the aforementioned DI hell, it's freaking hard to configure a testing environment (I've been trying for two days during my days off, with almost no success).
Of course documentation is completely absent, specifications are spread around hundreds of mails and opaquely named files thrown around personal shared folders, remote archives, etc.
So I rolled my sleeves up and started crunching as the rest of the team. I tried to follow the boy-scout rule, when the time and scope allowed. But god, it's hard. I'm tired as fuck, I miss working on my projects, or at least something that's not a complete madness. And it's unbearable to manually validate everything (hundreds of edge cases) by hand.
And the rest of the team acts like it's all normal. They look so at ease in this mess. It's like seeing someone quietly sitting inside a house on fire doing their stuff like nothing special is going on.
Please tell me it's not this way everywhere. I want out of this. I also feel like I'm "spoiled", and I should just do like the others and accept the depressing reality of working with all of this. But inside me I don't want to. I developed a taste for clean, easy maintainable code and I don't want to give it up.3
I've been using vim for years, and part of the fun is that I'm always finding a new thing that I didn't know the editor could do previously. Recently, I found that when in command mode, pressing '#' when over an element, such as an input or div causes all instances of that element to become highlighted (in my config), and subsequent presses cycle backwards throughout the document. Pretty cool. I also (yesterday) found that you can pretty much automate indenting html files (if you fuck them up somehow, or just are lazy/sloppy) by entering "gg=G" in command mode.
Anyway, my point: does anyone have a more official explanation of what '#' does? Haven't seen it on any cheat sheets. Better yet, does anyone else have any cool tricks like this to share?4
Yes WP sites can be bad.
But as bad as it can be, just as easy it can serve as a good kickstarter for the next website.
If just the developer behind said website has some kind of dignity about the code they produce and respect for their fucking job!
1. Don't use bloated plugins.
2. Always vheck out alternatives.
3. Don't ever use paid plugins/themes... just don't.
I for one, whenever installing a plugin, if said plugin generates any kind of unexpected output such as a notice it's an immidiate uninstall, and then rolling my own.
I also use a bare minimum boilerplate theme which does not bundle any frameworks, additional libaries or other kinds of that bloatware for all my wp sites, this ensures that every site is somewhay unique.
I've seen so many "devs" being lazy as fuck, using the wrong themes/plugins to "code" the site.
No! using page builders such as visual composer or bloatware slideshows does not count as good tools.
If you buy a theme from themeforest thinking it will save you hours of custom development, then fuck you... go drown in acid.. because guess fucking what?
It will save you absolutely jack shit in the long run..
Anything stating otherwhise is marketing bullcrap4
Doing the Full Stack Nanodegree from Udacity
Using Google's oAuth Sign in in my Flask App, I realized that no matter what browser I use, I was unable to logout, Google always threw an error my way. I figured something must be wrong with my code..
Searched on Google, couldn't find anything relevant, gave up on first 4 results(not pages, yeah I'm that lazy!)
Spent 3 hours Debugging at different points, removing all the abstraction I've put in using various libraries (Bad move)
Finally it dawned on to me to check Udacity forum as well. It's a frickin cache/cookie thing. Tried the app in an incognito window, worked like a charm. Reverted code back with all the libraries, worked like a charm again!
FUCK YOU GOOGLE! In your attempts to track users, you're even making our work difficult!
(in hindsight, I should probably be better at asking/looking for help)1
I just started playing terraria and holy shit, it puts minecraft to shame in so many aspects.
It actually makes you feel like the mc devs are some fucking lazy ass morons sitting on piles of cash.
Minecraft is 11 years old and it has 4 bosses and they are all underwhelming pieces of shit, jesus christ.
They can't even make mining fun for fucks sake. Work an half an hour or more to get a full set of diamond only to accidentally lose it to lava in the nether.
They added netherite? Holy shit I can't wait to see the new gear I can craft with it.
Pickaxe, axe, shovel, hoe, sword, helmet, chestplate, leggings, boots. Wow, netherite shovel, that's what the minecraft community needed.
How about an actual battle axe, knives? a baseball bat? Spells? Fucking something minecraft, come on, you can't just have 10 weapons man!
The lack of creative content and variety in minecraft is staggering. Adding a block of a different color and texture is not new content!!!
Also, fuck villagers and the sound they make and their faces. Worse character design ever. Not a single redeeming aspect. And fuck their trading system.
The trade system is horrible!!! One item at a time per character. No text from villagers. They don't have names!!!! They don't feel like villagers!!! They feel like robots!!!! Not a single one of them fights back!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK???? JUST ADD ONE THAT FIGHTS BACK YOU MORONS!!! NOT THAT WEIRD ASS GOLEM!!!
AND NO ONE GIVES TOO FUCKING SHITS ABOUT THE GOSSIP SYSTEM MC DEVS. NO OONEEEEE!!!
Terraria is not a perfect game, but it doesn't just try to be a good rpg, it actually is.
Meanwhile every 3d sandbox after minecraft will either be a filthy clone or not exist at all by fear of being labeled as such. Because of that I will keep on trashing on minecraft, even though I still play it a lot.14
3 weeks back took a bug..
Looked into it and found that it is exist in older version(say V1) as well.
Sent mail to client stating i can fix this in current version (say V2). Since V1 is already released and our current code stream is V2 and so if we fix in V2 , the code will not reach V1 code base.
**explained to client**
Client : I mean if you fix why it won't work in older release.
Me: Explains how code streams will work.
Client : Okay.. but it will support the functionality in V1 , right ?
Me: (*internally* are fucking kidding me? It won't work dumb ass.) No. It won't work in older versions. I am fixing it in V2.
client: okay.. Let's proceed.
Me: Done code changes. Send code to review. (we have to send review to upper level manager).
Manager1 : I didn't liked this part. can you change this ?
Me : sure. Done.
Manager1 : Now i liked it. Sent review to Manager2.
Me: why the fuck ? Are you not sure about my changes are good?
Manager 2: I liked it, but need some log changes.
Me: Fuckkkk...... Let me change this.. Done. Now can I promote those changes?
Manager2: No we need to send review to client manager as well.
Me: Goddammit.. Okay.. sent review.
*After a fucking week..*
Client Manager : Looks good. Push the code.
(This process took 18 days which would have been completed in 3 days if there is only one peer review)
Now the other guy from client whose tracking the bugs reported why it took so long to fix it.
I think my client manager is over paid and can't even know how his company code stream works. Fuck you . why client has these lazy ass old fucking "I don't look into my email" type people. God I hate these "I am in rich country" people.2
Watching my first demo of Outsystems low code bullshit. What self respecting dev would WANT this as their environment?? How the complete fuck is this a thing??? Buncha lazy shits...4
So I found about a possible freelance job I could do. I messaged the person and they asked me to show them some of my work. I went into my dusty wamp server folder to use one of my projects there as an example or w/e. It being old and all and me having not updated anything in the last 2 years, there was a lot of bugs I had to fix. So I did that. I had to change some links and whatnot. Then I tried running the site again and that was where I met the biggest hurdle. None of the user generated pages worked because I used a .htaccess file to vanity the website links (is that a word? No? Well it is now). So I went back into the folder to check the .htaccess file to see if I could fix the issue. Lo and behold the file was empty
I had lost the fucking .htaccess. Now I'm stuck and saying fuck it because I can't be arsed to go through each file and change the links mostly bc I forgot the structure of the links ontop of the other stuff I had in the htaccess file. And yeah ik I'm just being lazy but I'm really just having one of those days
So yeah that's how my day went. Just thought I'd share
When you have no time to learn by code snippet, you'd have to copy and paste it rather than writing it line by line.
Facing some down - simultaneously somehow as dev and privately.
The dev part partly triggered by another burning project. Our team deep in shit up to the chin... And this unanswerable question: who is to blame? Everyone is working up their arses, but the result is still some sparkling firework ship wreck, that only held together for the demo to the board. It's not that we are stupid or lazy, yet we push some unmaintainable spaghetti, because this shit just gotta work.
Dunno, somehow this object orientation / pattern ideologies were also kind of depressing to me: partly because they smell like attempt to enlighten the inept by stupid receipts - and of course then deep down there's this nagging question if I'm not one of this inept not knowing the newest fashion template from the catalogue..
Then this Clean Code - Craftsmanship shit is bugging me similarly. Liked Robert C. Martin's book, but now I picked up some "Clean C++" and.. I kinda feel dumbed down if they try to sell the KISS principle to a 36 year-old physicist/engineer. Good for them that all our legacy shit und own fuck ups nourish this whole industry of well-meaning advisers. Argh, just fuck it, you priests, sell your obvious calendar mottos elsewhere, they are are just as useful as telling a griever that "rain follows sunshine". - As if they would not some time use the raw pointer that their coworker gave 'em, to ship shit tomorrow?
1. The actual "Programming" is only useful for clearing tough , Unrelated interviews most of the time.
2. Software developers are not "really" changing the world. We are just writing pretty websites and apps to make the world lazy, and make the investors a fool. The wall-e future is real, and we are responsible for the bad part of it ( the robots are the good parts and their credit goes to the hardware engineers, we are not them)
3. Ai is just math making guesses based on statistics.
4. That am depressed as fuck since my last internship and don't wanna touch the pc or devlop or "program" anymore5
Anybody like to rip up CTF (or similar)? I've honestly never done a CTF before, I'd like to give jt a shot. I'll get my ass handed to me because I'm not back up to par on OpSec yet, but I adapt well and when I get into a nice groove I can make shit happen! (I like to think so, anyways haha!!)
I've been in full on dev mode lately and haven't had any time to Hulk Smash for a while... I went to fire up a new Kali live USB today and I couldn't run through the updates like I always have- they changed sooo much and I was pissed because I didn't have ethernet with me. That'll be another day for sure, but I still have my machine with Manjaro armed to the nutsack and back with the BlackArch rep. I def could use a break from the chaos, and getting my ass handed right to me sounds like an awesome time because learning is my favorite thing next to a possible chance at getting to destroy shit.
It's weird, because I'm sort of a n00b but also at the same time I've had computers ripped apart/jammed in my face since every day since I was 9 and Y2K was about to hit the fan lmao!! My hardware/network/layering knowledge is fuckin mint titties, I just can't code like a fuckin madman on the fly. I don't have a "primary" language, because I've been having to work with little bits of several languages for extended periods of time... I can at least find my way around all the dox without much of an issue and have no issue solving the probs I come across which is neat, but until the day comes where I can fuck a gaping hole through my keyboard on the fly like George Hotz during one of his lazy Sunday OpenCV SLAM/Python code streams all jacked up on Herba Mate hahahahaha!!!!
The dude uses fucking VIM and codes faster than anyone I've ever seen on levels of science/math so challenging I almost shit myself inside out when I catch one!!!! The level of respect I have for all my fellow red pills in here is as high as it gets, and that's one of the best parts about being a code junkie- sometimes ya get to cross paths with beastly, out of this world people that teach you so much without even having to explain shit.
If anyone's down, or maybe has some resources for me to check out so I can get my chops up let's make it happen