Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "not literally"
-
This blew my mind earlier today. It can actually draw not only itself, but literally anything. For more info watch the numberphile video on this formula.10
-
WHOA
My grandpa just gave me 100$ for fixing his TV:
-And here is you paycheck son...
-What? Noo, it was literally 2 minutes factory reset, I don't need this :D
-Oh come on. I'm not paying you because you because you pressed some buttons. I pay you, because you exactly knew which buttons to press. Now, take it!
Truly, the man of honor...12 -
My mom got audited for storing sensitive client information in her gmail account without using a vpn or any other real security.
I had been telling her this was an issue for literally the last three years and shes brushed me off every time.
I got yelled at for not telling her I was serious.35 -
YES YES YES YES I HAVE MY FIRST INTERVIEW NEXT WEEK (SERVER MANAGEMENT/SUPPORT POSITION)
*JUMPS AROUND* (NOT LITERALLY BECAUSE AT A TRAIN STATION)40 -
So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.
How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.
But the code looks like this :41 -
Write a small js function using setInterval to fire a request every second ... then copy paste the code 450 times (literally, not an exaggeration) into a massive file to create a load test script.
This load test script also had no means to gather metrics or test response times or anything useful. It was literally a “did the server crash” test.9 -
👋🏻 So, yesterday I thought I'd quit...
👠 Today it turns out I've been fired, and my resignation wasn't opened 😂 😂
🖕 Hannah from HR
In fairness I did literally say that to Hannah from HR yesterday in a sort-of-attempt to get myself fired, so... I'm not quite sure who wins...10 -
My worst dev sin is not throwing people under the bus, even when they deserve it.
Literally or metaphorically? I'll leave that up to the imagination.
------
I believe my second-worst sin is my tendency towards perfectionism. It's hard to finish projects quickly if everything has to be nearly perfect. I still make deadlines, but this is due to overworking, thus leading to burnout.
I could relax more if only I sacrificed my principles...4 -
Everything was going well, finally could put some money aside and I literally thought 'if nothing breaks down this month, I'll have a good month of savings :D'.
I should definitely not have fucking thought that.
Well, RIP phone. Let's search for a new one.
😭55 -
I am fucking dying of laughter right now. 😁
Today I got a push message of the invoicing app I use from time to time and the message literally just said "lol" (without even the usual pre-fix of the app name or anything).
So after not figuring out where that could have come from and obviously theres no private messaging etc. in that app, I contacted support and they reacted surprisingly good and at same time hilariously good; they pushed now a team towards investigating that, as apparently I wasn't the only one.
https://support.waveapps.com/hc/...
I wonder who fucked up and literally pushed "lol" to thousands of people. 😂8 -
Dear Android:
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?23 -
On a french TV show:
Animator: So Jean-Pierre what do you do in life?
Jean-Pierre: well, I'm a computer ingineer
A: Oh, so you're the guy we call when the printer is fucked?
JP: Absolutely not, I'm the one who make programs and softwares that don't work, so they call us again
Literally me 😂1 -
How to advertise... uhm... not the right way!
The 'beschermd tegen anti-ddos' literally translates to 'protected against anti-ddos'
So then I can DdoS the living shit out of that those services and will be protected against the anti DdoS stuff....?! 🤣9 -
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!16 -
Manager: Please make that text in plane white.
FullStackClown: Oooo, that's a tough one. What's plane white?
Manager: Are you serious? You literally don't know what the color white is?
FullStackClown: Well sure I know what white is, but I'm not sure what plane white is, there are dozens of airliners, and I'm sure they all have slightly different shades of what they are using for their light color in branding...
Manager: ...
FullStackClown: ...12 -
So I'm very much not a fan of apple and their products.
I bought an iPod Classic (160gb) today (second hand)
I was literally standing there wanting it while my ethics tried to withhold me from buying it 😅5 -
Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...
This is literally the reason we use git.
No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...
Dahhhhh19 -
Coworker: "can you help me with this thing?"
Me: "sure, what have you tried so far"
Them: "nothing yet"
Hdhajsgrbeiry JUST TRY _SOMETHING_ AT LEAST BEFORE ASKING FOR HELP.
It's literally your job to solve problems, not get other people to solve them for you.
Asking for help if you don't understand something is one thing, but constantly trying to get people to show you exact examples is not doing your job.
This has been a chronic problem with one of our devs and despite advising them multiple times on it, it continues to happen.12 -
A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.
Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man
He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance15 -
Girl: hello this is amazon support center, hope you're feeling great today, how are you?
Me: im good...
Girl: glad to hear that, how may i help you?
Me: a few moments ago i was on... sigh, actually im not good im extremely sad right now because i was scammed on my amazon account for $250, im calling to ask if that product can be charged back.
*literally 30-60 seconds of silence*
Me: .....hello??
Girl: ok sir ill give u another line to call please dont hang up ok? stay with me
Me: maam im not doing suici
Girl: +1-532...
Me: ...2 -
Client: it's not working
Me: clear your cache
Client: what's that
Me:it's a way of cleaning the files of your computer to get new ones.
Client: I cleaned my mac
I mean she literally got cleaning wipes ... and cleaned her computer
P.s I told her all this before and how to many, many times2 -
Been working on a bug fix for 3 hours. Literally nothing I do will fix it. Finally I realize I'm not even calling the function.5
-
Swagger does not send request body for GET calls.! WHAT THE FUCK..! And the argument supporting is get calls should not have any request payloads and rather should have response payloads since its a "get" call. Are you serious?? What if there are parameters to be passed which cannot be accomodated in the params or the header. Even though people are kind of literally abusing on their issues page still they adamantly refuse to add support for this.
Swagger you had high standards in my book. You just fell so deep down there is no coming back.3 -
I am really going nuts about everyone using ChatGPT. Had literally discussions 'bUt cHaTgPt sAyS iTs TrUe', when the docs said clearly thats not the case.
Also the "code" produced is just what the hell?!
I hope this damn hype will end soon12 -
I once had to literally hack a Joomla 1.5.x site for a client, because they did not find the passwords (hosting, cms, ftp, mysql). After 5 minutes and a SQL injection I was in like flynn.
The site was already full of hidden links to viagra sellers and stuff... 😂1 -
Good to see instagram move to python3 without an exception. Literally that was smooth. Cheers to those who think Python is not scalable. 95 million photos on daily basis. 400 daily users.
https://thenewstack.io/instagram-ma...5 -
Literally translates to : } Do not change requirments at 9pm on Friday that PO aint your father-in-law 😒..
😛😂11 -
Do managers not fucking understand that Jira is meant to eliminate all this stupid "What's the status with X?", and "Is Y done yet?" chatter. Our communication channels should be on business logic and other global updates about the company, not about fucking workflow status updates because you have nothing else to do with your day but ping me every 5 minutes.
LOOK AT THE REVIEW COLUMN ON JIRA. I MEAN ITS LITERALLY CALLED REVIEW. SO REVIEW IT AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I swear the devs consistently have a better overview on timelines and project status than management does - which is sad, because this is literally the definition of management!!!18 -
I was told in an 1:1, quite literally, "not everybody can do what they want to do if they are not good at it..." - get fucked! The person I had to "report to" was an idiot (at the same senior level as I was) and obviously threatened.
Then moved down to customer support, where I was fired for fixing problems faster than going through the chain of levels, because I was creating quick scripts to patch the faulty data.1 -
Just because our classes are online now doesn't mean you should make your exam literally 5x harder than the in class one was you fucking bow tie wearing penis head looking cunt.
There's a literal global pandemic going on for fuck sakes. It's not like we asked to have it online fucking jackass.2 -
Interviewer: I think you are too young for this job, blah blah, your age is too low, blah blah, this job requires elder people, blah blah
(...keeps repeating the same bullshit for literally half an hour...)
Interviewer: look, I have to leave in five minutes. Convince me that you are not too young for this job.5 -
User gives me a Mac to work on, States that it “only needs Microsoft office Mac installed”
Okay.
Boot up the laptop....
**Mac OS X utilities**
Hmmm, odd. Reboot.
**Mac OS X utilities**
You’ve got to be shitting me. Call user —
Her - “NO! It was working when I gave it to you, you fix it. I’m not paying to get my laptop returned broken. It was working when I gave it to you!”
Me - “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t. I literally turned it on and this is what it stated * read her the message*
Her - “I don’t believe you, you did something to my computer.”
YOU FUCK! THE FUCK I DID! YOU LITERALLY JUST HANDED ME THE GOD DAMN THING! Can I PLEASE curb stomp this bitch, please....12 -
The one who said "Code should comment itself" must not have used assembly.
I literally wrote this 30 seconds ago and I can't work out what it does now...1 -
Yes! you made a difference.[image]
P.S.
started working at a startup as an intern(android app developer), Most of my work is like debugging the code, new feature implementations.
And the codebase is full of this kind of shit(even worse) plus literally zero documentation(not even for API's), not even a single line of comment in complete project(40K-50K), not any unit test/ UI test.
The funniest thing is when I ask for documentation he(boss | *) said: I am documentation.8 -
I hate access. I wish I could use literally any other program. But they're not authorized.
I'm the only one working on this, and everything is closed. How the fuck is the object in use somewhere else? And where the fuck did my primary key go???7 -
I literally just cleared 150Gb from my laptop by deleting the node_modules folders, of projects I'm currently not working on 🤦♂️10
-
Dev: My VM is not working. Something is wrong with VM.
Me: Have you made any changes to the code?
Dev: It shouldn't matter my VM is not working.
[I go and check the Dev's VM.]
Me: ಠ_ಠ The build output literally states your unit tests failed -
The most helpful error message of all time:
Unhandled exception in line 0: Script error.
Literally translates to: “Something went wrong but I’m not gonna tell you what.” -
Finally got a new job, but it's already a horror story not even 2 hours in (making this while on break)
Everyone here is an Intern, IT? Interns, Designers? Interns, HR? Interns.
The Person who I should've worked with got fired yesterday, and now I have to work all of his shit up from 0, Documentation? Fragmental, a few things here and there, but nothing really.
IT security also doesn't exist in the slightest, there is an Excel sheet called "Master_Passwords" and every single password is in Plaintext, written out for everyone to see. (at least they used "strong" passwords)
And the place also looks run down, theres PC's, Laptops, Mics, Cables etc. lying literally everywhere no-one knows what works and what doesn't (since everyone is an intern)
Not to mention the "Server Room" is an absolute mess itself, cables hanging from literally anywhere, powerstrips are ontop of servers, each rack has like 2 or 3 2U Servers, (in a 40u Rack) and there are 10 of them!4 -
SMM: Can you chat over the phone? Just want to make sure we are on the same page! I am not great with web lingo!
Me: Sure.
Me, internally: You're a social media manager. That's literally your one fucking job.3 -
Database tip of the day:
Spent hours on Amazon's DynamoDB and ultimately found it couldn't do what I wanted, not without a complicated workaround.
Switched to Mongo and had it working in literally under 5 minutes.
Hooray for Mongo 😀3 -
Let's apply dark theme to the sun. So that I can at least stay away from my airco for 2 fucking minutes and not sweat like a goddamn pig!!! Over a month of this shitty heatwave it's been already.. it never ends, does it?! Fucking hell - literally!!!
Sorry for repost. Apparently it's not possible to edit the tags anymore, and I didn't want this to land up in wk116.6 -
You know what grinds my gears?
Those people who ask about a problem on stackoverflow, github issue, or other sites and then reply:
"Never mind, found the problem!", Without telling what was the problem and did they fix it.
Fuck those people.*
*Not literally.4 -
Graduation day:
A guy presents a modified pathfinding algorithm based on a*, in Java.
Jumping to the conclusions, he says he tested the algorithm on a 128x128 graph based maze, but not larger because the program saturates his 4 GB ram pc.
One teacher (algorithms and data structures) literally jumps from the chair "you saturate 4gb of ram with a* on 128x128 graph?!"
Best graduation day ever lol9 -
I'm not good with faces, at all.
I literally once forgot a dudes name and remembered after he got his laptop out from his bag and i saw his stickers.
I recognize people based on their stickers now...8 -
Oh my fucking god. It's 1:30 PM and I literally cannot sleep right now. It's like I lost the ability to close my eyes and go to sleep.
What could be the cause of this?
*Flashbacks to earlier today*
Brother: Hey, want a piece of this FUCKING HUGE Toblerone bar?
Me: Sure why not
But seriously, I need sleep10 -
Pass by reference, do not wrap needlessly
// Bad
takesCallback(function (data) {
// Literally all this function does
processData(data)
}
// Good
takesCallback(processData)
I see this all the time, especially with jr devs.8 -
Stupid javascript.
Stupid hoisting-oblivious "frontend devs."
Stupid browser-specific javascript behavior.
Stupid thrown-together javascript minifier that literally only strips out whitespace and comments.
Stupid poorly-written javascript spamming my api.
Time to rewrite it. Grumble grumble. Soo not how I wanted to spend my morning-turn-afternoon.
Leading to the last but not least:
Stupid me forgetting javascript's quirks.11 -
I don't understand why so many devs complain about not having money or complain about the company that they work for. We literally have the skills to do whatever the fuck we want in today's world. Literally everything is structured around what we do. If you hate your life so much, do something about it. Granted, I understand if you live somewhere that doesn't allow you to control your own destiny but I'm pretty sure that the majority of the people on this app has the ability to do so. The rewards are endless if you decide to think outside the box just a little bit. Sorry, this has just been on my mind for a while and decided to rant about it here since that's what this app is for.14
-
I literally can not go back to a single display setup. I have a dual display both at home and at office.5
-
> likes linux
> maybe not even install windows on shiny new laptop?
> debian-live.iso
> y u no wifi?
> google: lol apt-get
> but i has no internets...
Why only with Debian and not with literally any other flavor of Linux I've tried, which are all Debian variants?
Halp?18 -
today i was asked to encrypt a public key, because "it's sensitive info".
a PUBLIC key.
smh
it's not even hard (literally 1 line of code), but come on...6 -
Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,13
-
I get rejected just for my beard, they don't like it.. and they're so idiot so they have prejudgments that any man with beard could be linked to terrorism. They literally said that I was the best fit to the post..
But, I am not changing who I am for them..3 -
Local IT company proposes to give talks about the basics of web development in our school for one and a half week.
>"And now we're going to learn more about JavaScript."
>"The first thing we need to do is to import jQuery in our webpage."
>Literally no mention of plain JS.
this is why jquery is still not dead...........5 -
soo.. yeah.. I've just solved an annoying bug using only chatgpt.
My first commit in this new project. And it's based on chatgpt.
Literally just saved me from days of reading through kafka docs, auth mechanisms and other stuff. And no, the google did not provide me with a proper answer/hints. The only hint was "the configuration might be wrong". Well alright, but I was NOT using any configuration in the first place...
Fun times ahead :) I might even consider the pro version if it keeps delivering like that.16 -
Not really rubber, but he's my duck.
He's literally one year younger than me so it makes it quite special.
I really like him 😄6 -
I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.
Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"
Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.5 -
Twilio literally broke my integration because I have not logged into its portal for 2 weeks. Got notified by users complaining SMS wasn’t going through.9
-
Coding competitions.
Expectations: a period of intense coding, satisfaction from solving problems, finding neat solutions.
Reality: five FUCKING HOURS spent staring at the screen doing literally nothing, because none of your ideas would fit the time limit and you have NOT A SINGLE FUCKING CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START.
#LookAtHowMuchFunI'mHaving6 -
2 leetcode hard questions in 60 mins. That's what I faced in few company interviews. Trust me, if that's the expectation you're having from candidate, you're looking for a leetcode monkey but not a software engineer!
To the interviewers who have such unrealistic expectations, please change your mindset. It's literally impossible to come up with optimal solutions to 2 leetcode hards in 60 mins if I haven't solved those problems before! It just becomes a memorization game not a problem solving round!!!
:)2 -
"get lost"
The fucker was just saying he would not help me, but in the end I should have taken the advice literally and got the fuck out of that fucked up place. -
I literally just had a conversation with my coworker who is not a dev where he said that WordPress sites getting hacked is a myth. He also thinks shared hosting sites getting hacked is also a myth......I literally can't right now.4
-
*Sigh*
Eclipse is such horrendous garbage, it somehow even manages to run like shit on an SSD.
Literally all my software runs smooth as butter on the SSD, even VS ffs. No, not Eclipse. Still hangs up constantly, fails to respond, takes ages to do things.
Incredible.9 -
Has anyone had to hack into a server so they can set up their work,
Literally have a client asking me to do this change to their site and they are asking the dev who is controlling it but they just not letting me access ..
Long night ahead 🙄 got to add a ftp account ... All I need to do is add small lines of code for tracking, but this guy doesn't want to let me on it cause I'm slowly taking over his work... if he did his job right it's not like it would be happening anyway6 -
Ok, Microsoft just released Visual Studio for Mac. Now there's literally not a single reason why i would want to use Windows over Mac as a developer.
I like this decision by Microsoft.7 -
!rant
I've lost all fucking motivation to do anything at the moment.
Fuck not even gaming is much fun anymore.
Also amazing that I have so little time on Mondays that I can't even eat properly.
Literally living on caffeine, a spoonful of, like, porridge and water on Mondays.
And of course the nice bistro is closed on Mondays.
Then there is that motherfucker of person at school that just randomly starts sharing weird ass details with you and promptly started to break out in tears when she failed maths today.
Like fucking hell, then for some reason the same person fucks up everything in her volleyball group by literally doing nothing and complains when she gets hit by a fucking volleyball, like, she doesn't even attempt to dodge it catch it.
So much for that fuckery.
Then there's these little brats that just completely play asshole and are being jackasses to everyone including upperclassmen and teachers.
Grab em by the throat and fucking put them in a toilet.
Literally the reason why our school is generally known as the 'Drecksloch', literally dirt hole.
The fucking volume is driving me batshit insane in school to the point where I just start yelling at people.
Fucking kids, it literally doesn't cost you shit to just shut the fuck up.
Okay, vent over.
Sorry for that.12 -
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
A lot of docker containers.
I often have to use docker containers while I don't understand it as well yet and quite some containers literally come with zero documentation or bad docs.
This both as for how to set the containers up and how to debug stuff.
This is one of the big reasons why I'm not as big of a fan of docker yet.9 -
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
I am not into motivation books but I was intrigued by a title.
Nice fucking book.
Found some improvements I can make in my life.
Author literally wrote he don’t give a fuck if you’re reading it or not.4 -
Short one, but it really gets me every time:
PLEASE tell me that I am not the only one typing hex-numbers in all caps!!!
I literally can't stand to see them in lowercase!!!
Every code I use with hex numbers in it (primarily ASM and C) I HAVE TO convert them into uppercase!!!
Is it just me and my stupid OCD or are there other ones like me????10 -
Call centre manager was made VP of my tech company. Is now directing the programming department.
Yesterday she spent 30 minutes looking through Excel files in an attempt to prove me wrong. Literally found nothing, with 3 other people in the meeting.
Repeatedly told everyone she was "not crazy" in her failed attempt to throw me under the bus.
I love coding, but these human interactions are going to give me a heart attack.3 -
Someone please explain to me how you can become vice president of an internet company and have no fucking clue about simple database logic. Not only that, but then ask developers for query logic that is literally impossible and waste weeks fucking around trying to get it to work the way your deranged mind has shit out these absurd concepts.4
-
I'm a 16 yrs old student, learning to be a software developer. I have successes, but I can't share with anyone. My parents don't understand what am I doing, my classmates neither. Literally nobody. Maybe 1 or 2 people. Can I share with you, dear devRant community? Or I shouldn't share, 'couse it's not a rant?16
-
PM: Did you start looking into that stress testing tool.
Me: Literally looking into it right now
PM: Ah cool. So you'd be ready tomorrow?
Me: No
PM: Why not?
Me: I literally started looking at the tool. I can't promise anything.5 -
Seriously, y'all shitting on CORS but why? literally, why? it protects you. If you need an external api, could you please be fucking bothered to setup redirects, so it's /api and not fucking https://amazon23984723984723984.aws239847329847230948.spyware/...? duh
people who allow cors from "*" are the same people who always do everything with superuser rights. you're the reason why I always got offers23 -
- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.7 -
I got stuck with a small task for days, today I just have the courage to ask for help and a senior literally gave me the code for the problem! I'm not sure if I should be happy for finishing the task or embarrassed for couldn't solve the problem by myself. 😄😥5
-
Note to self: stop trying to write literally everything modular, it's not always the best thing to do.
-
I Googled "png to svg converter", this is the output of the first online tool I tried.
This dev literally just a base64 encoded copy of my origin image wrapped in an svg... the most infuriating thing about it is that technically it did 'convert' it to svg - just not in the way I had anticipated.
Whoever wrote this is a lazy genius (and a dickhead).8 -
So I tried to render the Facebook page plug-in and guess what..
Some guy at Facebook has added an online style on the preview: display: none !important.
So the plug-in preview was literally empty, thought I was not doing it right, how can the act of simply entering a url be wrong, seriously?
Production bug at Facebook facepalm -
Imposter syndrome. I’m SICK of hearing people say that they have imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome literally means that you are good at your job but you BELIEVE you are a fraud / not worthy / are going to get “found out”.
By self identifying as having imposter syndrome, then by definition that means you in fact DO NOT have imposter syndrome.
If you DID have imposter syndrome then you would just think you were bad at your job.5 -
Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020 -
Xcode: Xcode is the perfect place to make Apple Watch apps!
Apple Docs: literally nothing not even a single fucking useless piece of information
Xcode again: no7 -
I hate people that sends an email with a question and when you fail to reply within their arbitrary deadline (not in the email) they email you the same question but copying your boss and your boss's boss when they could've literally just walk 20 steps to ask the same question5
-
I've met a potential client who has a popular website, but it was last designed in...get this...1995. The design literally has not been updated since then, except to update content via Dreamweaver. DREAMWEAVER! Sure, it runs fast in terms of page speed. But it's using tables for layout, has no CSS, and tags that have been deprecated for over 15 years now. And, of course, it's hosted on GoDaddy. Just...wow.8
-
Not really the start of a new job, but at a job interview I tried to pour myself some water and literally flooded the whole table :D
They invited me back for an internship actually, but I chose another company.1 -
"We totally know everything about SEO, you should trust us and pay us so your website is #01 because we know how Google ranks their shit" (not literally)
No fuck you. No one knows how google ranks pages. No one. And your pseudo information is even free to find on the first google result about seo that is above yours. Oh look, they must be better than you with that.3 -
I FUCKING HATE VISUAL STUDIO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY THINKS I WANT TO UNDO SINCE I PRESSED THE MOTHER FUCKING BACKSPACE KEY
ITS NOT MY KEYBOARDS FAULT ITS LITERAALLY THEIR DUMBASSES NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKE AN IDE ATA ALL
HOLY SHIT MICROSOFT LEARN HOW TO MAKE BETTER IDES OTHER THAN YOUR SHITTY IDE15 -
i hate group assignments. why is this guy doing a class in accessibility if he's not gonna pay attention and not gonna make the code accessible? and the audacity to tell us that "we can fix the accessibility stuff afterwards". the accessibility is literally the assignment!!! you're not doing shit!!!3
-
When the previous dev has written all datetime query lookups by date only, resulting in any values for the ladt day of the month to not be included.
THANK YOU.
Same wanker has copied and pasted same 100 lines of code over and over and literally changed one value in between. Obviously never heard of a function.3 -
God why do I even log in anymore...
Just seen on LinkedIn: "Some exciting news will be shared soon. Stay tuned. 🎉✨"
Dude, literally not a single sad fuck gives two shits about your dumbass fake garbage. Just stfu
Maybe if you spent more time building product than posting on LinkedIn, you'd make some headway.1 -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
-
Coworker Asks me for every little thing in the code 😑
He literally keeps asking me until I've written all the code for him and this goes on all day.
I really don't have a problem with helping him but he literally doesn't know anything (even the basic stuff) and is just getting code from other people and when I went on a holiday (3 days) he didn't do anything like literally no progress at all.
And yet he still gets paid more than me because I'm still a student 😥
Honestly I'm so done with this bullshit and I can't even get a job at a big company because apparently students are not dependable at all even if I do a better job than most devs who are 'years count' people where they barely knew anything and just do the job out of habit...15 -
This is from a DOS-era Packard-Bell recovery disk. No one out of the group of like 30 16-yr-olds could crack the password in the installer. I literally just opened it in nano.
What not to do when securing your shit: https://pastebin.com/27j169id7 -
Raise, zero releases on weekend, not mentioning for once that ChatGPT/Bard said this or that ...etc
I swear once ChatGPT gave my boss the exact opposite of what is mentioned in the documentation and I had to literally share the link of the docs so that boss believe me ... -
Decided to go back to windows for a bit after not using it for about 6 months (on physical hardware) and literally forgot there was a start menu, minimise button, taskbar and that the window controls are on the right...
I have done the impossible and almost forgotten how to use windows, not sure if this is a good or bad sign9 -
People hate Amazon, people like to hate on Amazon.
But people also keep buying from Amazon
This morning I took an amazon return package to DHL and literally at 17:00 this day (the same day!) I got the refund to my bank account
What the fuck. I mean yeah I hate amazon as much as the next guy. But that's literally why people are buying from amazon. You can't just say "amazon bad" and then not also appreciate when they are doing something good12 -
Dear modern browsers: The site I'm working on is NOT Portuguese. Don't offer to translate it when there are literally zero non-English words in it.
Fuck off.6 -
So a few weeks ago, our PO really scolded my team for not letting him in on our release planning meeting. His rant went on for about 30 minutes, just one long monologue about why he should be invited in the future.
Apparently he wanted to know details since there were some important fixes in the release, which I suppose is fair (though the rant is really not necessary).
Fastforward 2 weeks, we invite him again. He accepts, but never shows up. We decide to start the planning anyway, since we don't want the release branch blocked because someone didn't show up.
Immediately after the meeting, we write him with the new release plan. And he starts ranting again about "planning without him" -.- ..
1) Stop yelling at the team you're supposed to work with. Talk with the team about it - I'm sure they'll listen.
2) If you demand being in meetings, show up - or at least decline in advance.
3) You have no right to rant about "not being part of the planning" when you were literally invited for a planning meeting 2 weeks in advance. No meetings were overlapping, so there's literally no excuse..1 -
Client: Please add feature x in "here"
Me: Adds feature x in "here"
Fast forward to QA
QA: Test for feature x failed. Feature was added in "here" but is not in "there"
Me: There was no request to add x in "there"
Client: Feature x was already supposed to be in "there", you might have removed it.
Me: *Checks file where feature would be added.
* Git blame show no changes since received we the project (one major release back)
Lying cunt. I'm sick of your literally incomprehensible tasks giving government fucks, speak human language not overhead driven bureaucracy-jargon3 -
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
I just fucking made the temp table dude, that's what you literally do in step 1 .... how could it not....
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: "Oh there we g---"
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
Me: "Hey you just worked!"
-click-
MySQL: 'the table does not exist'
GOD DAMN IT
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Me: Uh you're working now?
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
-click-
MySQL 'Records: 1 Duplicates: 0 Warnings: 0'
Guess that API just needed breaking in....3 -
Today marks literally the 4th time a recruiter has put me through to a technical test for a language/ framework i do not know. Even if you are tech illiterate just fucking ctrl f my cv to see if I know it. Absolute waste of time.1
-
Man, I'm a second week intern at a company, and the anxiety that I have is making me stupid. I literally lose all of my coding skills, stuff that I could do at home in 15 minutes takes hours at work.
Am I crazy, or will this go away.
( am a naturally stressed and anxious person, I know this is not good)6 -
I started working for a startup around 2 years ago, I literally helped them survive in covid, I worked my ass off for them. (I was getting good money so no complain there) but now after 2 years I started looking for better opportunities and finally found one but now the old company guy is not letting me go they have froze my experience letter, not accepting resignation letter not even giving me my salary slips and since with all this frustration I stopped working 2 months ago and now I got blocked form every possible way to contact them.8
-
Wait... What..... Google Keyboard (Korean Ver) why the hell do you not have the [less than] [greater than] symbols..... When that switching key literally has the symbol on it!!!2
-
I literally dont use any other code editor other than intellij. Yes not even your fucking vscode. I code frontend in intellij! I code angular and nextjs in intellij!! Intellij literally has everything anything else has plus way more. Intellisense is also much better. Theres also been a major update yesterday and everything is so much faster and smarter. And theme is way better looking. I will dick ride intellij till death do us apart!!!!19
-
Lua is one of the stupidest languages to ever exist.
Oh, the language is easy to learn? The syntax is friendly? There's only like negative 10 functions you ever need to know? Everything is a table?
EVERYTHING IS A TABLE?! WTF CARES? WHAT ABOUT NIL?!
The arrogance this language has is extraordinary, literally. No lang, except Lua, imposes such an opinionated dichotomy. Everything is a fucking table, or, it's nil. -- That's so fucking stupid.
And look, I get it, this lang (oh sorry, scripting language (?)) CAN be good and fun and whatever... the moment you start to do IO is the literal end of days.
Everything is nil. Except, if it's defined... then it's not nil. -- OK. That sounds sensible/reasonable enough. -- What if it's not defined? You get nil. What if it's not the right data? You get nil. Do I get errors/exceptions or whatever? No, absolutely not, you get nil... unless the application you're using with Lua with has a lib that handles that.
There are so many more issues I have with this lang, but honestly... Am I fucking missing something? Is this lang like actually super dooper awesome and I'm missing something? -- I can't not look at this language as just dumb and arrogant. -- It's literally a language where you have to manage and remember ALL conceivable state at ALL times.11 -
In russian, wagtails are called “трясогузка”, literally “a twerking bird”. “Трясо” is “shaking”, “гузка” is an obsolete term for “booty”, not tail. Hence twerking bird.12
-
Turns out getting users to put in literally any effort to do something ends up in them putting in zero effort and just not bothering. Users suck.2
-
Today I got a reply to a PR comment from a coworker literally stating that "it's not a good practice to add unit tests to hotfixes".
I can't, just can't. Left me speechless. Wonder where this guy gets his "good practices" from.7 -
Finally finished the longest ticket I've ever worked on in my life. The ticket title and description was a pretty simple and straightforward one: "Upgrade from PHP 7.4 to 8".
If it was only so simple in real life. Our application is mostly done with API Platform framework, which is based on top of Symfony framework which is based on top of PHP language.
Once I did PHP 7 => 8 upgrade I needed to upgrade API Platform 2 => 3. But of-course that couldn't have been done as before that I needed to upgrade from Symfony 5 => 6.
This all was literally an equivalent of touching into a wasp nest - it took me a bit over 5 months and 800 hours of work and there was literally not a single source file left untouched.
In the process of all of this I've ran into literally dozen undocumented feature-breaking changes, broken backwards-compatibility promises and inside out architectural changes - from both the frameworks and the language itself.
Upgrading just one major version of anything SHOULD NOT be so hard. And to top it all up just to think I will need to do this again in a year or two..
Experiences like these really set my hate for time-based model of releases and the state of today's development in general.6 -
I just thought of a terrible scenario. So here it is:
You invent a revolutionary machine which can communicate with the dead. It's a marvel of technology and could reveal secrets about the afterlife.
After turning it on and getting in contact with the dead, the only thing they want to talk about is how much you masterbate. They literally will not talk about anything else.
Would you share your discovery?1 -
German mobile carriers are the worst in the whole world: if you are not in a big city like Munich, Berlin etc the internet is literally not working (E everywhere c'mon)
And I didn't even mention the public wifi (login sucess rate: 1℅)5 -
Me: Ugh i want to try a hackintosh again but all my SSD's are in my PC already and its not worth spending $100 for a small one...
*Leans back in chair literally knocking 3 SSD's off my shelf* -
I've had a shitty day. Spent half an hour arguing with my manager that my disability was something that they have to take into consideration. Literally had to explain that ADHD is protected under the UK equality act. Was fucking furious by the end, did no work for the afternoon, couldn't deal. I literally work for a medical company.
A couple of years ago I got told, "jokingly" by a colleague, that "learning disabilities are made up excuses for stupid people". I have a learning disability (dyspraxia). They lacked both the skills and knowledge to do my job.
Don't make jokes like that. They're not funny, and make you look stupid.11 -
Trying to debug why there's NaN% instead of 15% (project in JS).
Later realises isNaN(Val) literally checks for NaN datatype rather than Val is a number or not.
*shit*
Ctrl Shift F - isNaN in Atom (searches entire project), rethinks logic, refactors code
Looks around *no ones there*
Silently pushes the changes along with another major commit. -
had to create a rather large CLI based application in Java as a graduate level assignment.
Doing shit like this makes me appreciate Node/Python/literally fucking anything else much more for this shit in which storing and retrieving JSON does not have to be that much of a fucking hassle WITHOUT using external libraries(they want it all made by hand)
I love Java, don't get me wrong, but I would rather use it for only a couple of things. I stopped working as a Mobile dev precisely because of Android being shit for Java. No, Kotlin does not fix it, its not the language that is my problem, its the fucking general architecture of the Android API that pisses me off.
And no, I do not care if you like it, like 1 fucking bit. I am not saying that the architecture is shit, I am saying that I did not like it.
Sigh.......oh well. Almost done with the assignment, but still.7 -
Well, shit is kinda hitting the fan literally.
Two of my four clients are closing down, and it all happened in a month.
Not really fearing for job security, but now I've scheduled an interview with nVidia that I dismissed two years ago. Let's see how it goes.4 -
Was watching a video tutorial narrated by a south asian guy(am not racist). Middle of the tutorial, he burped. I rewind the video to confirm if he actually did that. Mofo literally burped.
Now i feel stupid that I rewind to hear that.11 -
Love my new job but fuck they are way behind in any kind of modernization.
Just saw a demo over zoom where someone was showing the team how to change the margin on an error page.
They literally changed the HTML directly in prod using the VIM. So first of all no web modernation because there was no build, no deployment, not git, no pipeline - NOTHING!
This project went from 40 people to around 200 in 6 mos. You can't have all these people in prod just making fucking changes.
If this job did not pay 110k a year I would bail.9 -
So, I'm working on some stuff, Bitcoin Cash related. And you see, I feel I'm actually doing so much progress, and that's good. The thing is that I always forget to commit and I end up commiting and pushing like 5 or more changes on 5 or more files that are literally not related.
I feel stupid2 -
FUCKING FUCK I CANT FUCKING HANDLE THIS
WHY THE GODDAMN ***FUCK*** DOES CINNAMON NOT HAVE DOCS FOR ITS DESKLETS
THE ONLY TUTORIAL RELATED TO IT IS FROM FUCKING 2014
THERES LITERALLY ZERO DOCUMENTATION ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET
HOW ARE PEOPLE MAKING DESKLETS AND APPLETS WITHOUT DOCS4 -
Something I wrote in my "how not to run a company" notebook:
Getting told you've now replaced the CTO as the person people ask for support (literally, he was recieving no questions), but you're not experienced enough to be promoted to senior.
I replied by telling them I was interviewing elsewhere.
Made me laugh. Is it really that hard for management to get that they should invest in talent?6 -
So, recently there has been an influx of AI generated absolute junk literally everywhere. We can see the internet destroy itself in realtime. And it's not even just the internet. Companies are pushing AI onto everyone in every aspect of our lives. Our fucking phones, every shitty company needs to have at least one AI powered feature that nobody ever asked for, just because it's relevant, the fucking already working search for your local files, fuckin' books even, holy fuck and all this is literally just me writing a random post without knowing what I'm talking about, because I just want to tell you that you lost the game again, see you next year.4
-
What the hell did I miss?
I've been seeing lots of dev communities joking/not joking about replacing C++.
Did we somehow replace all C code in literally every embedded product overnight?10 -
So, we've been on Deutsche Telekom for about 9 months. Shitty connection in the countryside but literally not one outage.
For the last 6 weeks our internet has been dropping out with no obvious cause.
Just this week we start getting calls if we'd like to upgrade to a package with LTE...
I'm finding the coincidence just a little too convenient.1 -
So, as I'm currently cut off from the world of tech, my anxiety in regards to research has settled and I actually enjoy doing it again on my terms. It just makes me jealous to look at all these people developing cool stuff and wanting to get in on the project and maybe improve a part or two, particularly the robot kind. I want to slap some neural nets on majority of the robotic shit I see, or optimize them, or do something to make them more robust... But I don't have a research position right now where I can spend time and money doing that. So I just sit in front of my laptop and sulk.
... And literally this is why we can't have nice things. Cuz I'm not hired to make nice things. Literally.2 -
my boss, recently: "Partner company is complaining about seg-faults in our software" [the system is still in testing, not deployment]
me: "tell me what steps to reproduce the error and I'll fix it"
boss: "I'd like to prevent seg faults from happening no matter what"
...I literally can't even at this point5 -
Isn't US literally using AI/Technology as a war weapon by making Google blacklist Huawei? I mean, I'm afraid. What will we do tomorrow if my county gets blacklisted (not so far by the looks of it)? Can we even trust Google anymore?
P. S. India..12 -
I really couldn't help but laugh when I found this gem of an error message. I mean, I'd literally know just as much if it served me a blank page.
If you can't describe your own god damned error message without calling it 'generic', IT IS NOT A GOOD ERROR MESSAGE!
I'm glad they informed me it's an application error though. HERE I WAS THINKING MY TOASTER WAS THE PROBLEM.2 -
Well, my country has a Degree called Bsc.CSIT which literally means Bachelors of Science Computer Science and Information Technology. I completed that degree and was employed right after I completed my degree. I have worked in two offices and no one cares what degree I have.
So I think Degree is not that necessary here in Nepal as long as you can get the job done.
Now I am about to pursue a Big Data related degree hope that is not as worthless as my current degree.1 -
For God's sake why can't you just keep consistency across your fucking files? I have to parse 3 different XML files from the same source where I have "ZipCode", "zipCode" and "Code" for the same thing.
Not to mention that the file that contains all the streets in the country have literally one street node for every motherfucking street. Not one city parent and multiple street children that would make sense and would be faster to parse, but clearly that wasn't your intention you retarded cunt.2 -
OK, lets again talk about net neutrallity
The FCC said they dont give a shit about the people and will not listen to them.
OK. Got it?
So, what now?
Write your ISPs about the Problem! Thats literally the only thing I can Imagine to do! But honestly, I think its still useless... It still wont help... Were all doomed6 -
!rant Bought a fertility hormone test and so I have to wake up early tomorrow to lancet two (or more!) fingers and bleed on some index cards (not literally index cards, probably) before mailing them to a lab. Fun times, fun times. 😅5
-
So the gf just came home, threw this in my face (literally, but not intentionally) and said "they were giving these away, thought you might have fun".
I've only heard of raspberry pi, arduino and such, but never actually used one.
Anyone have any experience with this thing in particular? Can I actually do anything with it or is it mostly for learning?7 -
Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.4 -
i literally listen to elon musk interviews while studying even if im not listening because i could listen to this man all day4
-
Conversion rates and shipping make it awfully expensive to get official t-shirts here in India, so I decided to experiment with t-shirt printing till the time I can earn enough to donate directly to open source foundations.
I call this design "FUCK YOU, AUTODESK!!"
(Yes it's literally just the logo. Yes I'm not a graphic designer)
Not too bad, but the print could've been better. Time to start tweaking things.8 -
Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:
element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}
It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D10 -
! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.
1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.2 -
If literally anything in our system stops working the supervisor's immediate response, regardless of whether it makes sense or not is to tell us to clear the browser cache. There are circumstances where that drives me absolutely up a wall.
-
Does anyone know if android 8.0.0 had a Bluetooth bug at all?
My pebble would just not stay connected to my phone (they are both brand new at that point) and when they did randomly connect it was for literally a second.
Now with 8.1 it hasn't disconnected once... I'm so confused!37 -
ok so imagine this I am in school waiting for the infinite loading screen on a website to load
so I go into cmd and do the tasklist command and I kid you not the person next to me said are you hacking ME I LITERALLY JUST DID TASKLIST MOFO11 -
"Java and C++ Spring Boot and Angular Ansible Jenkins Azure Hosting"
nice, a stack for boomers lost in the 2000s
stop it. just stop it.
"Some other tech buzzwords we use"... yeah, "typescript" and "big query" are not "tech buzzwords" they're literally the names of languages and/or tools
tell me you're an HR rube without telling me you're an HR rube
😩😩😩 <- love this one, literally called "weary face"4 -
Soundcloud used to know how to shuffle your liked tracks. Not it only shuffles the tracks that are in the playlist and the playlist only contains the (literally) visible tracks.
Basically, If you want to shuffle more than 30 songs at once you hace to scroll down for it...3 -
UPDATE: I redesigned my entire app and resubmitted it: it got rejected again for not having good resolution on iPad. My app literally doesn't make sense to use on an iPad... What should I do? I tried incorporating autolayout but that is honestly the hardest and most annoying tool Apple has created.8
-
Gotta make a bullshit deck, not really my job, but I guess it makes a change...
Right-click, save image.
It's a webp file...
...oh just FUCK OFF WEBP YOU F-oh, actually, I'm making this in Google Slides. That's literally their own format! I'll just save these as webp, no need to worry.
(ten minutes and lots of saving later)
Drag a webp file into Google Slides, in Google Chrome:
"Sorry, this format is not supported."
Even your parents hate you, webp. Time to have a nice bath with a bar heater, webp.2 -
I like Scala, but the docs suck.
The FAQ literally uses StackOverflow links as answers.
Not as references, where they write the complete answer and provide the link for reference or credits.
They actually just throw in the links.1 -
It literally haunts me that I've used jQuery in a reactjs project, I'm not saying that jQuery is bad but using it does not seems right, I can't sleep, always thinking about a solution, fml5
-
- Implemented oauth1 - no body hashing
- URL contains credentials in plain text
- Used Azure API management feature as a proxy of the our API, however the documentation was on the our API, thus exposing the API URL with no management to developers.
- easy resource DDoSing because each trial user got a DB, the registration process did not have bot checks. You could literally freeze the db instance by spamming registration requests. -
How did we normalize Project Managers (non-technical scumbags who literally just make excel sheets and track work items) yelling at Developers (they literally get everything done).
Imagine having PMs yelling at surgeons for not removing a tumor fast enough or something.5 -
How did I not know there was a devrant website. Literally thought it was only an Android/iPhone app.3
-
WHY DONT I GET FUCKING FIRED. I BEG TO GET FIRED. PLEASE FUCKING FIRE ME U DIPSHITS IM NOT EVEN DOING A GOOD JOB HERE AND IM NOT LEARNING ANYTHING USEFUL. HOW CAN A FUCKING DEVOPS JOB BE TO 24/7 CONSTANTLY RUN LINUX COMMANDS AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE HELLO????20
-
Literally the worst part about my boss is that he has to talk over everyone. I can't get a fucking moment to say anything.
Its really fucking exhausting.
I've just learned to not say anything because it's not fucking worth it.1 -
Okay but whys no one talking about w3js? Its not a complete overhaul of the entire frontend shit, it doesnt introduce fucked up concepts, it literally just abstracts away those 10 functions everyone creates a function for in the first 2 minutes either way, its actually useful.1
-
Raspberry Pi havin their own software as the second/third stage bootloader sure sure is kinda well documented and works kinda well. But oh god is it a faff to get to do something non standard. Just let me modify the u-boot environment and save it to disk/tftp 🥺
Also whoever thought that NFS rootfs should only work with proto=tcp, FUCK YOU for not documenting it! Wasted literally two day on this!2 -
argh!!!! The fucking IT guy just went in and changed shit without permission on the company intranet I manage. It was awful! A subpage would literally have 25 words on it and then a link to a doc that referred to list of files on another subpage! WTF! Also these were not added to the navigation bar either. This is a Google site so easy to fix it but mothafucka jeez!!!
-
What is it about robot collected data that makes researchers so anal? Like, dude, it's not even personal data. It's literally robot's joint motor recordings. It's not nuclear data, so why the fuck do you protect it like your life and your country depend on it?
I hope you get fisted by that data every night and how it will end up in oblivion sooner because you didn't publish it. You asshole.8 -
Why are some people incapable of reading documentation? THE "DUPLICATE RECORDS" IN OUR KAFKA TOPIC ARE BECAUSE ITS AN EVENT STREAM AND NOT A DATABASE. THIS IS LITERALLY ON THE FIRST PAGE OF THE GUIDE YOU ABSOLUTE MORONS.3
-
Why is it accepted that cs people just have poor hygiene. If I walk into a room and almost get floored by the stench if BO it doesn't make it acceptable to say "you're not used to it? It's that cs smell, man." like, ok. that dude should still go fucking shower.
Literally the entire lab was just rank from one guy, and the room is at least 30X1005 -
I work for an investment wank. Worked for a few. The classic setup - it's like something out of a museum, and they HATE engineers. You are only of value if work on the trade floor close to the money.
They treat software engineering like it's data entry. For the local roles they demand x number of years experience, but almost all roles are outsourced, and they take literally ANYONE the agency offers. Most of them can't even write a for loop. They don't know what recursion is.
If you put in a tech test, the agency cries to a PMO, who calls you a bully, and hires the clueless intern. An intern or two is great, if they have passion, but you don't want a whole department staffed by interns, especially ones who make clear they only took this job for the money. Literally takes 100 people to change a lightbulb. More meetings and bullshit than development.
The Head of Engineering worked with Cobol, can't write code, has no idea what anyone does, hates Agile, hates JIRA. Clueless, bitter, insecure dinosaur. In no position to know who to hire or what developers should be doing. Randomly deletes tickets and epics from JIRA in spite, then screams about deadlines.
Testing is the same in all 3 environments - Dev, SIT, and UAT. They have literally deployment instructions they run in all 3 - that is their "testing". The Head of Engineering doesn't believe test automation is possible.
They literally don't have architects. Literally no form of technical leadership whatsoever. Just screaming PMOs and lots of intern devs.
PMO full of lots of BAs refuses to use JIRA. Doesn't think it is its job to talk to the clients. Does nothing really except demands 2 hour phone calls every day which ALL developers and testers must attend to get shouted at. No screenshare. Just pure chaos. No system. Not Agile. Not Waterfall. Just spam the shit out of you, literally 2,000 emails a day, then scream if one task was missed.
Developers, PMO, everyone spends ALL day in Zoom. Zoom call after call. Almost no code is ever written. Whatever code is written is so bad. No design patterns. Hardcoded to death. Then when a new feature comes in that should take the day, it takes these unskilled devs 6 months, with PMO screaming like a banshee, demanding literally 12 hours days and weekends.
Everything on spreadsheets. Every JIRA ticket is copy pasted to Excel and emailed around, though Excel can do this.
The DevOps team doesn't know how to use Jenkins or GitHub.
You are not allowed to use NoSQL database because it is high risk.2 -
Should you not know or not have realised it years after your study: "video" literally means "I see" and "Volvo" (the Swedish car brand) means "I roll" in Latin.3
-
I know that not everyone here is Mac friendly; but my job just helped me purchase a new MacBook Pro, and it will be arriving tomorrow. It's the new one with the AMD 560 x 4GB, and touch bar. I'm literally shaking I'm so excited!!11
-
Incredible that these companies with literally no product, and barely a website (if any) come around offering 100K+ jobs
They have funding out of their ass but literally NO real-world value... it's amazing to me.
Guess it really is not what you can do but who you know.1 -
So,the lecturer is discussing with the other lecturers to not let us cs101 students use lists when writing our Python solutions because he says that the students don't know how to think in terms of lists.fuck,coz literally every single solution of mine used lists.If they subtract marks,i will not put up with that.Just because the other students have absolutely damn no clue about what they doing when they using lists it doesn't mean they can stop me.3
-
Wtf is happening to tech security... Last 4 months
All WiFi is now crackable. .. in short amount of time
Windows . . Annihilated with this new bug might not be fixable... and work back on all of them
iPhones cracked ...
Linux dirty cow ...
Android been suffering.
And everyone knows Mac's security is joke ...
Finger prints ... Made pointless on everything.
Literally all going to shit .. 😐
And I know how to do all this... It's all out in the open not even hard to find8 -
!(rant && story)
It hit me today. I literally 100% fit the exact stereotype for a backend developer.
And it's not wrong, I love backend dev and hate frontend work with a burning passion (even though I can do it)
whyyyy1 -
Never understood why people bloody love their code. It's good to be happy about it, but
beats the zest for refactoring or any other sort of improvement.
Took me an hour to explain a senior dev why his changes introduced bugs in build.
Literally landed to the point reverting his commit and demonstrating the damn build to work.
To which he replies what if the data is corrupt
Damn it's not the data, it's your bloody senses.2 -
If I had a fucking dollar for every time someone interrupts me at work. I literally get bothered in the hour by people in QA that have nothing better to do ( not taking shots at QA ). What irks me is when they continue to chat up a storm behind me with someone else when I finally get the point across.1
-
When people (mostly girls) ask me what I study in college and immediately answer themselves with "oh it's IT or something like that, right?" a part of me just dies. They literally think I'm studying how to work at help desk or fix printers. I'm not even exaggerating, a girl once told me she actually thought that. I'm not sure if she's just dumb as fuck or if most people actually think that about computer science, hopefully it's the former...15
-
Bruh, imagine paying taxes for a site that literally throws a cryptic error message, instead of telling you "Page not found", because those retards literally redirect to /Account/Login after successfully logging in.
Even better, most people here are don't understand English well enough to understand what is going on.
And I pretty much doubt an admin has been informed...3 -
!rant
So as my recent rants might have conveyed, my job has been pretty shitty lately. So as we do I started looking around for other openings. Not that I would take them right away, but I want to know. This led to a realization that I'm literally at the best paying, top rated, firm doing the best work in nearly a nearly 100 mile radius of my home. There's a few government jobs that want top secret and 10 years experience, but for anything less than that my current position is literally the best. This is not what I expected the top to be like. And the fact that it took me over a year to realize that I'm actually at the top and have been is super weird.
Thing is I don't know what I expected the top to be like nor did I expect to be here so quickly after finishing school.
I know this is dev rant not dev ramble but this was one of those formative moments where I just really don't know how to process this info.
Anybody had similar feelings? Like looking for someone to help and realizing, not in a egotistical way, just in a sobering way, that you are literally the best and most qualified person out there.3 -
It took me literally 2 months or less to surpass any and all my teachers on the subject of Unity3D.
Granted they didn't know shit about it, but that also ment that i had roughly 10 more months of them not being able to teach me jack shit.
I have self learned a lot in that time, but imagine what a decently knowledgeable teacher could have made of that process. I would have known so much more by now!1 -
Had my first and second stage interviews with a company all in the space of a few days.
Literally the day after the second interview, I got an email back saying I impressed them and they'll get back to me with the details of the next stage of the process soon (whether that's another interview or something else I don't know).
That was 2 weeks ago. Waiting and not knowing is the worst thing ever!!7 -
I had the opportunity to ask some basic security questions of a government system that is rolling out (got invited to a meeting).
So now I am absolutely terrified about any technology that is being rolled out by this particular government agency. Their security model literally ends at "we use HTTPS".
Seriously, how the fuck are these systems not audited before they reach public use? Is this normal??4 -
I don't understand why people drive with high beam on, even when it's not needed!
Is it only in India or anywhere else too?
Literally, I'm so frustrated with this shit.
This point should be the very first and most important in the list of the learning driving.12 -
For the first time in a very long time, I am out of a software engineering job. I have no idea why I am handling this so well. I literally have no idea if I will get another job or not but for this month, I am working on myself and learning more on FP which is really fun btw. Is this maturity?9
-
How often does this happen to you?
Hmm I need to install the nodemon package, ok so I enter:
npm install -g nodemon
Result:
npm WARN
npm WARN
npm ERR
npm ERR
npm ERR....
I then wonder why would it not work??? Then after looking at the errors I realise ohh:
sudo npm install -g nodemon
This literally happens to me almost every single time I install a package.8 -
I cannot express how much I don't want businesses who have my phone number to randomly pick an instant messaging account registered with that phone number for their correspondence. I can pick an SMS app, I own my messages as data and so I am fundamentally free to backup, sync, and view them as and when I want. The same is not true for Viber which I only registered because my mom's tenants literally don't use anything else.2
-
Visual Studio Code + Mac = not lightweight, really not that good performance
I mean the battery is burning. Literally, i plug my mac out and after a hour the battery is dead10 -
So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck. -
As a dev, not a manager, what's the maximum number of projects you can handle at once?
I know it depends on the workload but wanna see how others do on average.
Literally fried up with so many projects put on my shoulders after the exodus from my company since they f-ed up bonuses and hikes.
Also, why does every manager think their project is The Priority one? Selfish assholes.6 -
What the Fuck!!!!!
Within next 3 days my Release date was set. I was to join a new company. My current fucking manager screwed things by postponing my release date because the new replacement they hired had not totally understood the project. Well, who the fuck told you to hire literally few days away from my release. My manager expects that the new resource learn everything I know. Fuck off man, I cannot spoon feed a person on everything.1 -
I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.
The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.
No I am not joking. Yes this is real.
What do?
edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.12 -
fucking rude, that's what it is. Start chatting in a language not everyone in the room understands. It's also de quickest way to make me deslike you, even if I myself understand the language.
---
In my eyes it literally downgrade the speakers from humans to monkeys quasi permanently8 -
Why must coming up with ideas be so fucking difficult, trying to work out names for variables and working out a file structure that makes sense for the SDK I'm working on is literally the only thing holding me back at this stage...
Ugh being a perfectionist and programmer is not a good mix .-.
EDIT: also just remembered of 2 YouTube series I want to make but can't think of a title so I haven't done them... Fantastic1 -
Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.
But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.
I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".
I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?4 -
Y'know, up until now, everyone was just bragging about who has the most ++s... (I'm kidding, that didn't really happen... I think...?)
But now that we have ++s in binary, we can literally brag about who has the LONGEST... string of ++s.
Not... something else. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Oh well, size doesn't matter anyway.
Happy Easter/April Fools! °u°2 -
!dev - sorta
I swear Raspberry Pi's whole thing used to be that it's this cool cheap small computer you can play with and use for small projects because it practically cost nothing.
Nowadays it's literally cheaper to buy an actual small/old computer than the Pi with all the dongles and the cables and addons.
What is even the use of it anymore?
And it's not like the Orange Pi is *much* cheaper either.7 -
I've been waiting for over a week to get permission to add finished code to a part of our intranet site. My work have been delayed. Had to tell people to wait. Makes me look bad.
I have read access. It's nothing top secret. It's literally about some guy not ticking a checkbox for whatever reason. -
So yeah, I kind of thought it was exaggerated, and above all, not anywhere outside fucking woke Spain.
I just had a Moroccan today not only molest my friend, but also literally tell me (after watching two girls go home on their own) "let's go after them, they can't do anything against us."
Am writing from the police station now, hopefully they will lend me a baton to beat him up some more.26 -
I feel some people are ruining fucking software packages on purpose.
There is a particular editor I'm not going to mention the name of, and when I download it via rpmfusion, part of it that is quite important doesn't work.
when I download it from github it crashes based on an INTERNAL py file not being present that literally was not included in the crap appimage distribution !
Additionally why are you people so fucked up ?
What is wrong with you all ?1 -
:-(
Firefox doesn't map correctly the controller (Xbox One) but it works on Chrome. (FF on Android Works)
This is literally the first time (for me) that something works on Chrome and not on FF. (at first shot)
usually it is the opposite.
One point for Chrome (this time)
but still 6,022*10²³ Points for FF.3 -
Fuck you Mobike!! Stop polling your applog.mobike.com server literally every 10 fucking seconds when your app is not even running! And why the fuck did it suddenly start last night, of all things? It's fucking creepy and invasive.
Related question: does anyone know how to permanently shut down a background app service on an unrooted android 7? Even if I kill the background process (not the app itself - that one has not even been opened), it still restarts a minute later3 -
I know this is incredibly fucking minor, but
MY LAST HALF-DAY OF CPD HAS BEEN DROPPED AND I'M MAD ABOUT IT
I have literally two weeks left and they will. not. stop. pulling this shit. AAAARRGHHHH3 -
What is the point of removing code that will literally be added back in on another story? I just don't get it. I am in the code. It took two seconds to fix it but because it is not part of the story that i am working on someone is going back and ripping it out even though the next story is to put it in. Don't fucking complain to me because we are behind on this fucking project.2
-
How I fucking HATE AMVs!
Im just looking for a song and... BOOM!
200+ search results are AMVs with that song, like fucking hell people!
Its not even fucking quality content!
Here, I wrote a Tutorial on how to AMV in literally 10 fucking seconds.
How to AMV:
Get some clips, Some copyright free music, premiere pro or After effects.
Import all of it into timeline
Go to transitions
Mash all of it together
export
call it "Quality Content"5 -
Was browsing stackoverflow and saw how they handle votes in comments, clearly indicating one is to upvote (like other websites), the other to (quite literally) flag said comment for moderation purposes (it even clarifies when you hover it! amazing!).
Quite different to devrants UX. :)
On another note, glad to see the time capsule website still didn't change since years back, people even discovered that not everything is a rant. :^)
Couldn't spot any edgy pre-teens either scrolling a bit.1 -
Fuck just got back from an interview and realized the "optimal" answer I have to one of the questions is actually not.... And the question was literally from Cracking the Coding Interview... In like Chapter 1...
-
I dont understand how am i not fired. I literally dont know how to do shit in this legacy 30 year old junkyard code. I am literally alone working on this project on a giant codebase and have no one for help. The project is burning on fire and scrum master is talking shit for breaking deadlines and i cant do anything about it. Why dont they just fucking fire me that would be such a huge relief bro40
-
UPS website is a clusterfuck of bad design decisions.
I hate myself every time I have to use that piece of shit.
Someone literally went the extra mile to make it worse in any way possible.
I pray to God that person is not alive anymore.
Fuck them.4 -
!rant
So yesterday, I was testing some new features that I just implemented in this project at my internship. The thing did not work.
Today, I came in, literally changed nothing, opened up the test again, and now the features work perfectly fine.
I don't know how to feel about this. Veteran programmers, please give me some advice. -
Yes, a rant
About iPhone
Not apple watch though
You can literally build a computer with far better specs with how much they are charging for it
iPhones are literally expensive PoS depencies for Apple Watches (actually tried a bunch. AppleWatch is years ahead it's competitors
Change my mind. You won't16 -
anyone else ever focused so hard/long that they peeled an orange(mandarin) to eat, then forgot to eat it so long that it was crispy?
i mean like literally the thin skin remaining was actually crispy... this is me taking a break to remember last times i ate/etc... and hopefully not have more crispy oranges... though tbh wasnt bad9 -
Is it just me, or do REST API's literally rule the world right now?
Feeling like I can automate the universe.
But this is a real question. Are there reasons to avoid using web API's rather than sending data through some kind of shared database? I guess I'm not even sure what the alternatives would be right now... Are there disadvantages I should know about?3 -
Posting after a break. I'm quite unproductive these days. No OSS, no side project, I'm literally doing nothing. Before you ask, I'm not depressed or even sad, just unproductive right now. I don't know if it's because of this weird time of the year, you know. 2020 is ending and I'm just tired but I believe this is a crucial time as I'm looking for placement. I just wanna go to hibernation. FML.3
-
Shame on you Facebook Developers!
I’m neither messy or anal coder, but whenever I push something to production I make sure to handle all debugger warnings... I don’t think it’s perfectionism, rather good practice, makes important bugs easier to find. ;)
A single Facebook SDK Framework has 70+ unhandled warnings, trivial things, could be fixed in a half day...
I had to use ‘inhibit_all_warnings!’ flag literally for the first time, not to get frustrated every time it gets updated :/
P.S Not to mention I had to change the dependency manager because (with the newest update) they have written themselves out of compatibility with the one I was using... C’mon guys. Not cool. -
people who write code like this actually give me heart palpitations. No it is not cleaner, you literally broke the block, it's disgusting.
if(statement)
{
doSomething();
}8 -
I built an api to sync data between two systems. It is simple, if I have new data to send, I call their api with data. If success, get Json response back or error if not.
Today the guy from other side asked me for "acknowledgement" endpoint. I was literally WTF?
He explained me very clear, when I call their api, it can be either success or fail, so for those success or fail, he will send the response to my "ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ENDPOINT" to tell me if success or not.
*facepalm*6 -
Imagine a "development" environment with no vcs, no APIs, no general hierarchy for db admin or software development, no test environment. Well this was my first job.
Quite literally a dumpster fire.
I know I'm not a world class developer but I still think this was beyond unacceptable for a software startup.2 -
why does preg_split work on my local copy but not on production? WHY DOES IT RETURN LITERALLY NOTHING? IS PHP JUST HELL? AAAAAAAAA9
-
Prestashop Q&A website ... Who the hell thought it was a good idea to have COMPARATIVE bars not be aligned. This is literally UX 101.
Glad that's the last project i have to do on this platform for a while ... -
My Fuxking iPhone just keeps scrolling up. I have no idea why and it did not drop. It’s literally a week old. Among all the shit I have refused to give a shit about, this now number one. In a way it controls my social media usage. Scrolling down Instagram and suddenly it bounces back up like “bitch get off this damn app”. I oblige. My ability to simply not give a fuck always surprises me. Lmao I can’t even scroll down my emails without two fingers, one literally holding the screen so it doesn’t bounce back up. Apps that auto load are the worst and I should probably be more concerned. I can barely use iMessage coz it keeps scrolling up to previous messages and coz of how iMessage was built, it’ll simply keep scrolling up to load old messages.5
-
Performing code review for design quality.
So you return HTTP code 200 for 'ok'. So what do you return when things are not 'ok'?
Obviously something that's not 200. Like 300 (The message with the code was literally "not okay").1 -
Sad story , i guess im not the only one.
I have literally no friends who like to code or who seem to like but are lazy. Nothing
Is boring to work on personal projects or school projects like this :/
But today found out that theres only one in my school who does this, he is not that much into it but when he asked me what languages i use, also if i use php ...
I was happy inside to know that im not the only one in my school :D
That's all! Is here anyone or was in this situation , having no friends who like to code 🤔1 -
i am taking some pills for hemorrhoids and yesterday i was combined them with my third coffee. Somehow i was full of energy and i started coding like f crazy. I was literally writing code withe the speed and tension you see in movies, or if you like it, like our non tech bosses are thinking we work 8 hours a day for granted. I did not know what was happening, i was typing correctly, fast, and i want to live it again. Dope, adrenaline, aggression!
The code must fear us, not we the code!2 -
Could people kindly stop trying to expand upon the native DI in dotnet!
This is my third project where "you don't just" add new services because you have to carefully conform to hundreds of lines of boilerplate while "remembering to" whatever it demands because someone spent weeks hacking the builtin functionality in order to make it easier and shorten the startup file.
I'm trying to swap out one of the implementations that are used by one other class via DI and so far I've changed 12 files. It's literally more work to do the thing DI is designed to solve compared to not using DI because they "improved" upon it.
Sure, it might be that I'm not using your thing correctly, but that's not much better, is it. Everyone already knows how to use dotnet's DI. Literally noone knows how to use your improved version aside from yourself.
I liked how one of the team members put it after one of the former devs apologetically explained how this was some long-gone dev's baby: The only thing this code does for us is that it needs a diaper change every time we deal with it.2 -
Literally vs figuratively... That hilarious anecdote where something went derp did not cause you to literally die. You fuckwit.1
-
!rant
I've been coding for just about 2 months now! I literally dont wanna do anything else!! Its all I can think about... I know im not qualified to work a dev job yet lol but I wish i could nab a junior dev position so I can practice 9-5 not just after business hours and on the weekend... -
Is it just me or does the youtube frontpage take like ~12 seconds to load until you can click and interact with it recently?
I have the same happening on my laptop if I login to youtube (with literally only ublock installed on it and not logged into chrome, so it won't just sync random plugins or something from my PC).4 -
I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.
I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".
I literally did not change anything all these months.
Fuck you npm.3 -
I am really fed up with people emailing me asking about how they can use methods of a library I wrote when the answer is literally in the f***ing JavaDoc. At first I thought it might be me not being comprehensive enough in my doc, but when I literally started sending copies of what I wrote there and got a lot of "Thanks that makes it clear"emails I became really fed up with the laziness of some people. I find it disrespectful to my weeks of work for someone who wants to use it to not read a few lines when in doubt.1
-
Have this problem which already took me well over a day to figure out.
Thinking: "I might try SO, maybe I'll get an answer there.".
*Posts question with nice explanation and code example.*
Literally 5 mins later: question is marked as duplicate of a super generic question, which does not answer mine.1 -
"getConfig ()", where "config" is literally in the same mothfucking file and the fucking function's not even exported.
Yet, they complain, "why's it so hard to maintain?"...
If you've gotta ask, you shouldn't be here, you little shit
---
FUUUUUUUUCK, me hearing's ringing from this one -
FUCKING FLYING FUCK CAN I HAVE A FUCKING SOLARIZED TERMINAL THEME PLEASE???
I literally spent the WHOLE FUCKING afternoon trying to get a decent solarized theme on my console...
Everything bold is NOT the good color! Bold blue or green becomes grey!!
The worst is that I understand why, I just can't seem to find a solution...4 -
Why does my client refuse to use ZenDesk to report issues? It's literally just changing the to address in your email. They bitch about us not having formal processes and then don't follow the ones that we have. *sigh*1
-
Tried to boot ReactOS on real hardware.
ALL the driver issues, and no way to fix them (USB had drivers assigned but only had power, not even my mouse worked.)
God I wish ReactOS was laughed at less. There's so much here that could grow into a full Windows replacement, but people are too busy laughing to help.
It's like comparing Windows 2.x to Windows 7 or 10. There's something there, it's just not progressed far enough to get up to where it could be. (Not literally ofc, metaphorically)2 -
Once again I go into interviewing with literally 4 minutes notification ahead of time on who the candidate is (obviously I still don't really know or understand what the hell is about to happen)
Management does not have their head screwed on straight; it's that simple
#startuplyfe #scrappy #turnthatmindsetintoagrindset1 -
GraphQL or REST?
I'm not really worried about boilerplate (my research reveals it's roughly the same), I currently have a (very incomplete) REST interface, but that was just for testing.
Also, the API has no real usage yet (I only use it for submissions) and it literally exists for the sake of having an API (so I don't need to write it later).10 -
How are these AI safety dimwits not aware that there are literally people opening PRs on non-toy, legitimately deployable ransomware C&C toolkits on GitHub. full blown CVE exploit kits etc, with readme’s and all.
yet god forbid ChatGPT doesn’t remind you it’s an AI language model so, it isn’t able to make predictions about whether the sun will rise tomorrow.2 -
Stop bullying AoK. The dude suffers from the worst disease known to man — schizophrenia. This is literally the absolute worst thing that can happen to anyone.
You’re not funny. You’re not witty and clever. You’re witnessing agony and help pouring gasoline into the fire.
Stop it. What happened to him is a disaster. You know about my mother and what she did to me, yet I won’t give her schizophrenia as a revenge if I had that sort of power.3 -
I love it when someone wants you to troubleshoot an issue but will not give you a test user account to test with. So you have to sit with a user or talk with them over the phone while you troubleshoot. I'm literally elbows deep in the code and database, but you won't give me an account for security reasons. Ok, that makes complete sense.
-
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
-
turns out you not being allowed to be root of mobile devices you literally own was culminating to this point
https://youtube.com/watch/...
would be sooooo fun for a hacker 🤷8 -
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream. -
I have a Sony Xperia tipo.
Super old.
The screen is not working.
Can I use some other screen by literally disassembling the whole cellphone and do some hakabuka? Or, is there any way that I can access the phone although it's locked and the screen is not working?1 -
Me: [leaves comment on jira to not delete a file until team meeting tomorrow]
3 hours later...
Junior on slack: I saw your comment, any updates?
We had a meeting for story pointing, and not a sync meeting which is tomorrow.
Literally not talked about, whatsoever -
I bought a new laptop literally the day before everyone found out about Windows 11.
Here’s hoping Dell is nice enough to ship with Windows 11 anyway.
Still, I’m planning on dual-booting so it’s not that big a deal16 -
Webpack, requirejs, AMD, browserify all are wonderful tools but they don't play nice with node(client side) .
I LITERALLY switched between all, because the hacks worked but not quite. (Using node and electron, go figure!)
You know what they say fifth times the charm.1 -
I literally cried to the Lord while reading the Rego language reference. Man, that thing is HARD to grasp.
After a while I just gave up and switched to Windows (wanted to play) but Windows needed to apply an update thus I decided to reboot and while GRUB was counting down I decided to turn back to Arch and give a try.
I was heard, now this damn policies works and the Go code do not panic anymore.1 -
Dear Manjaro,
Retroarch as the primary emulator frontend?
What the fuck?
Not Emulationstation, not literally anything else?! 😐
- Sincerely, Disappointed. -
Attempting to find usable data.
PM: but we have data.
Me: we have data bags. But data in there is not uniform, the time series have different lengths, and some fields are missing cuz ROS does magic. Plus, that new data type you've introduced, doesn't actually have a set in stone schema so it's free for all. You literally do not have enough data for one decent quick study.
PM: but we have vision data.
Me: ... But we're not a vision department. where's the robot data.
PM: idk. Go ask others.
Me: *drags own hair out* 💀6 -
being 4th in line to maintain legacy code in a language I have never used before when the the last two guys were, and this is my boss telling me and not my judgment, 'incompetent.'
there are literally four functions in this class that all do the same thing... which is the one being called in this case... a seperate external function located in another file in a different language on a different server all together. 😐 -
literally the last fucking thing i need to work for my mvp is ffmpeg to fucking work. i literally need to add audio at various start times in the video, sounds so easy right? too bad its a complex, cryptic, and horrible peice of shit.
no wonder stackoverflow is full of ffmpeg garbage
imaging writing a novel to run some audio / image editing commands, jesus christ
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
still at it 3 hours later, this should NOT be that hard ITS ALMOST FUCKING MIDNIGHT NOW YOU DUMB FUCKS FUYCK YOU FOR BUILDING THE MOST CONVOLUTED FUCKING SHIT EVER GOD I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. SHIT. LIBRARIES. WITH. SHIT. DOCS. SHIT. USERS. AND BULLSHIT. NO. FUCKING. SENSE. APIS.2 -
Worst part of being a dev?
When you need to work together with people that are too stubborn. Recently I needed to work together with 2 guys and when they started ranting on me for literally nothing, I realized not everyone is able to work in a team.
Now im ranting back on them.
What are your experiences with people like this and what do you do to make teamwork more enjoyable? -
People thinking their computer problem justifies them being rude.
I've literally been in the middle of a conversation and someone walks up and hands me their computer and says "can you fix this?". Just because you work 20 feet away from me does not mean I'm your personal IT help.4 -
Service Controllers book us into the power stations and mines.
Was going to check a new client's current system and develop them a new one.
Service controllers booked the PM but not me.
Oh well, now there's a dev sitting outside a power station like an arsehole coding on his android because he has literally an hour or two to waste.
They do it out of spite, not out of mishap. -
I have literally spent around 3 hours to solve a problem with a class and then i realized that it's not what I needed.
-
So, I have this colleague (tho he is a student in my company, while I'm an employee), who wants to build a site, but doesn't want to learn how to build one...
I literally gave him everything one needs, yet he still complains about it not working the way he wants...
He literally does one out of 3 things:
- play shitty games and cheats in them
- attempt to build a site without understanding the "why does it work?"
- bother me with dumb questions that have been asked 1000000 times on StackOverflow... -
So how do people feel about the ignored people, I haven't done it with anyone so don't know what people really feel.
I mean you are sitting there and they are literally not talking to you because you are very shy. Your name is not called out in a discussion even when you are one of the developers whose project is talked about, you were just ignored because you didn't speak up.
What do people really think about the people they ignore?8 -
time for crowdsourcing awful ideas because bored!
what don't I need? what does literally nobody need? what is a terrible, awful, no good idea that should never exist? let's make it!
I'll go first: a compiler that automatically resolves compilation errors by removing the offending line continuously until it successfully compiles. defaults to quiet mode which does not report which lines were removed.1 -
God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!
So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK! -
No hate to indians but im struggling to understand this thick indian accent when watching tutorials. Why do u talk like that. Its literally simple to speak in american language and im not even american19
-
Try Debian, they said.
Best env?
Live it is!
[literally days of debian update error research]
Oh wait, not 12, we meant 11.7
Okay, bullseye it is then.
Download 11.7, not 12 bookworm
[same errors]
pkg pgp dkpg sudo wtf
187 help pages later
54 su / sudo pastes later
[same errors]
*more help pages*
*yes, limited search to last month, year*
[same errors]
Learnt so much!
. . .4 -
So many people complain on how js is stupid (I did too not long ago), but at the same time you know there are good parts in it if there are books literally called "js: the good parts". So I've been thinking, why not make a subscript of it with all the recognised bad bits cut out? What do you guys think about that? Too bad I'm too underskilled to pull that off alone 😥1
-
Oh mannnnnn
We had a meeting with a data analyst today who is going to build an ML system for us.
...but at the start of the meeting, he didn't even know what our existing product even looks like!!!
...
Good one management!
Do I literally have to do EVERYTHING? It should be YOUR job to make sure every member has the essentials to participate in the meeting; YOU'RE the manager, NOT me!!!!
Oh also, let's not forget I got the meeting appointment HALF AN HOUR before it started...
#justmanagementthings
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 -
The worst part about writing JS is not having a reliable development environment. I have literally had three different outputs for THE SAME FUCKING CODE! <sarcasm> It's almost like they are not even complete or something </sarcasm> FML3
-
To put a tiny mechanical switch on the side of my phone that’ll turn of the Do Not Disturb mode. No, not buttons. Standard momentary buttons don’t have a persistent state. I need the state to be persistent even when the phone itself is turned off.
How hard can it be?
Too bad literally every android smartphone since the very first one has that switch, it’s like one of android’s iconic features, and crapple still can’t manage to do this. Clearly they cut on prices, I mean switch is more complicated than a momentary button.10 -
On April the 30th the code awakened in me.
From all the overnighters, the pressure it was already as if my brain was a suitable host. Of course it would not compile the code or be any kind of real VM, but all the business logic, all the pesky details of this mutilated code had literally been branded into the biomass of my brain.
I did not know how I kept on going. Amber, caffeine, valerian did not really help. But I staggered from step to step to keep that project running that should never have been begun. -
Not an IT question but for anyone who's in Gaming. Preferably College football lol. How much you think the game would cost considering its been non existent for like almost 10 years and apparently they are not using the same code as previous games. Like they are literally starting from scratch.8
-
Construction crew came up my street literally in front of my house to dig the ground cause the pipeline for shit got rust and it started leaking shit all over the neighborhood, making the entire street smelly and shitty! This is what happens when i the shitbeast clog not just my toilet but the entire neighborhood with total bullshit! All must feel the wrath of my bullshit2
-
It feels good to be an intern. I literally do nothing. Or barely anything.
I know it's not something good but who says no to a big desk and extra monitor?
At least it's giving me a relatively "better" workspace.1 -
Why is VSC such an incredible fucking piece of shit that I literally can not open any ubuntu files with it if I have WSL installed I can't believe I have to spend 30 minutes on trying to open a fucking folder which would not be necessary in the first place if the VS Code terminal was not so fucking shit and full of bugs that I am unwilling to work with it it's like the mentally disabled sibling of the ubuntu terminal2
-
Im finding parts for my brothers new pc, and i really think that Ryzen 5 2600X is a great choice.
But then one of his friends said that Intel is better for gaming, and suggested an i7-8700k.
The price difference doesnt mean much, my brother just wants whats best for gaming, and now im starting to doubt my own decision.
Which CPU would you think is better for gaming only?
Literally gaming only, not even school . Its only gaming.
Lets not start a war, i just want pros/cons, straight up facts or your experience with either :)12 -
A guy asked me today why his code wont run and it didnt even have a single ; or endl; i straight up ignored the guy later he was all hyped he told me that the huge bug had beeb not using ; this noob literally taught he solved some huge bug....4
-
Anybody has any recommendations for a good headset that is over ear, has ANC & is wireless with a base station?
If I can't find a good one, I'm stuck with buying my own ANC headphones or using some "noise cancellation" headset, that literally does not cancel anything.2 -
Do you know some good tech RSS,Atom,... Feeds?
Anything about programming, operating systems, hacking, Hardware would be welcome.
But please not something trash like nixcraft, where every article amounts to "How to do this very basic thing that is literally a oneliner but we felt its so complicated, it justifies writing an article about it."2 -
Can someone explain me how prisma ORM works? I just finished a course with nextjs that uses prisma. Prisma basiclly performed all crud operations on mongodb for example. I saw no usage or need for cloud providers (aws). No backend separation. Like literally all of it was done in fucking nextjs. Very efficiently coded but still how is this good? Please explain why not built a separate backend. Why do it like this11
-
What everyone needs to remember is there is never a time when I’m not starting to remember or remembering or just in an elevated state of I know you’re up to something so if you al think you’re able to get away with things over and over again you’re looking at this wrong
I’m being given literally an opportunity for revenge every day multiple times a day8 -
So I go on scratch (Mild Scratch Programmer), and I see this one person, Who does NOT know how to script or program, even though he specifically states IN HIS PROFILE, that he is a "Professional Scratch Maker", Not even the correct term to describe a "Scratch Project Developer". I literally told him in his profile chat, that the way he described what he was, wasnt the right way and tried to help him update it, and he completely blew up on me and starting getting toxic......God I hate toxic kids.5
-
My company has a GitHub repo for interview questions, but literally 0 of them are practical. We don't go around recursing through shit and/or trying to scuttle through graphs. Like, the opposite. Help me make a stored proc not a stored proc.
-
Bruh how are you meant to link Chromium snapshot id's to Chromium release versions without https://omahaproxy.appspot.com/ anymore?!?!!?!?!
There's literally not commit data or anything on this page:
https://commondatastorage.googleapis.com/...
And the new site has NO snapshot linking capabilities?!
https://chromiumdash.appspot.com/re...
😭😡1 -
Insider tips and tricks for a PhD, if we have grad students of any sort here. Literally anything at all. I'm enthusiastic but not naively so (I like to think), so let's learn stuff from the vets.1