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Search - "mum"
(overheard parents talking)
Mum: I'm worried about our son, I guess he was hacking today
Dad: What? [Chuckle] No. He's not that grown up enough. Prolly programming.
Mum: But, the screen was all blue and there was nothing but text on it. And then suddenly it went blank. So, I asked him what he was doing and he said it was a BSOD. That sounds scary NSA level stuff.
Dad: it isn't [came out of the room, saw me there]
(And we laughed and laughed and laughed)5
3 years ago, when I was 12, I told my family that I started programming and that it was my passion. My mum wasn't interested too much about it, but my dad was, and he encouraged me. He told me that he wanted me to become a great programmer.
He died about one year ago, and I stopped coding because I felt bad; every time I opened my IDE I couldn't type anything.
Idk why, some weeks ago I reinstalled devRant, and, idk why (again), I instantly felt good. Maybe because I understood a lot of people had my same passion.
Two days ago, I finally wrote new lines of code.
❤ you guys.19
One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.7
Mum: "You're always on the computer doing your silly codes! if you keep this up you're gonna be a failure at life!"
Mum: "Hacking? oh please! you sound like a kid who wants attention"
Mum: "Son, i was wrong. im sorry."
Mum: "Are you okay over there? you're always on the computer doing your work, rest and take a nap, eat lots of carrots when you can"
even if you weren't very supportive mum, i still love you. :)22
*Game Developer*: Works 16 hour days to tight deadlines, in a team restrained by budget cuts. Goes to bed every night exhausted. Games Producer releases game with known issues because deadlines.
*Gamer* (slovenly and lives with his mum, works at McDonalds): Finds minor bug which is fixed within a few days. Rants about 'Those useless fucking games devs' for days. Acts like his life is ruined. Wants a refund on a game he has played 18 hours a day for 2 years. Has 'The Best Ideas' on how to fix the game and make it perfect.13
My grandma saw me programming for one whole day and she started to rant.
Grandma: "She's been sitting all day infront of her computer doing computer stuff! Electricity bill's getting higher!"
Mum: "Well at least she's not out late at night getting drunk and partying!"
Grandma: "Computer girl"8
Something I grind my teeth on very hard just recently,
Mum: son, why does this always showing up on my phone (a Samsung J something)
*sent a screenshot of some antivirus adware opening on chrome
Me: mum, that might be a virus, how long has it been happening?
Mum: I don't know, a month probably, since your nephew always uses it to play games, BTW it automatically opens up everytime I open whatsapp
Me: *facepalm, and you never thought to tell me until now?
Mum: I never thought it would be, and also i got this recently
*screenshot of some SMS from shady subscription, notifying some failure in subscribing whatever it is they are offering
Me: *double facepalm, let's put that aside for now, that adware seems to be happening on Chrome, can you try to remove the tabs
*spent 2 hours to instruct on how to close chrome tabs
Me: ok, just go to my friend's place (he own a phone store, and he did the fixes & repairs himself), bring it to him, I'll tell him the situation.
Mum: ok, maybe tomorrow, I can't today,
Mum: it's still happening, the thing keeps popping up
Me: then maybe you should go to my friend's place ASAP *me starting to lose patience
Mum: but it's ok, your sister uninstalled the Chrome
Me: *triple facepalm, [FFS sis, you are an IT major], so where does it pops up now?
*screenshot of popup ad from default browser
*screenshot of the apps installed in the phone, there are 25+ of those shitty minecraft shooter game installed on it
Mum: it pops up from different one than before, but your sister also deleted it just now
Me: *cries, mum..., please..., go..., to..., my friend's..., place...., AS SOON AS YOU CAN, for now please delete EVERYTHING game related in that thing
Mum: ok, I'll remove it, I'll head over to your friend's maybe tomorrow
Me: thank you, very, much
...5 minutes later
Sis: Maybe I should give mum my Iphone, Samsung is awful, this never happened on Iphone before
Me: *shuts off my phone30
A little while ago someone here posted something about a piece of software called Pi-Hole. To that person, i wanted to say THANK YOU!!! It is probably one of the best things i ever added to my network!27
Mum: Tom time to do something get off your computer
Me: *continues staring at computer*
Me: Whaaa? *moves head slightly up but still doesn't take eyes off computer"
Mum: Please get off your computer there's stuff you've gotta do
Me: *finally looking up* OK just let me fix this one thing I'm so close
Mum: fine, 5 mins
*5 mins later:
Mum: come on Tom time to get off
Me: uuuggghhhhhhhh I'm nearly done please
Mum: hurry up
Me: *tries to hurry and finish as to not upset her* please I'm so close
Mum: *furious glance*
Me: *furiouser typing noises and frantic clicking*
Me: *finishes, attempts to run the program*
Program: *runs just fine and problem I was trying to fix was working great*
*something else breaks*
Me: ok mum please just this one thing
Mum - ''oh so you make programs and stuff for Windows? Can you start by fixing Facebook on my iPad please?''
Dad - ''So the nerdy job, how do you expect to get a girl doing at that crap''
Thanks dad, your the best at supporting my job choices13
Stuck in the car driving mum today...
She’s concerned about my little brother’s education and asks me “Is it okay to study I.T at University?”
I just turn and look at her like you’ve got to be kidding me. “Mum I’m studying I.T”
The conversation continues with:
What jobs are there in I.T?
What are you going to do with I.T?
You should become a teacher and I’ll open a tutoring centre for you!
Final year of my Comp Sci degree and mum still says I shouldn't study on the computer so much.
Last time I checked a sheet of paper doesn't compile C very well4
Today was Mother's Day. Everybody was posting their photos with their mothers, so I had to stay away from social networks for today to not feel sad.
It's been almost a year without mine, really miss her.
I love her, and I never showed her how much. I've not been the best son a mother could have, I'm so sorry for that. She thought me how to be strong, she was the strongest, but I'm feeling so weak now without her.
Please never miss a chance to let your mother know how much you love her, give her a hug whenever you can, talk to her every time you need somebody to talk to, listen to her stories from when she was your age. She's the most precious person you'll ever have in your life. I realized that when it was too late, don't make my mistake.
I miss you mum ❤9
Mum: "Well I suppose all that sitting in from of the computer has paid off"
Dad: "You want to be like that PayPal guy who now builds rockets?"
My parents are pretty cool3
Trying to explain my job to friend who don't know computers.
Friend: So what do you do?
Me: Well they call me a "DevOps Engineer", but really I am just a Release or Automation Engineer.
Friend: What is that?
Me: Well I assist developers build and deploy their code as well as write code to automated the whole process and build the virtual servers.
Friend: So you like program?
Friend: Dude can you write an app for me, got some ideas!
Me: (blinks) no.6
DevRant was just loading very slow because of bad mobile internet. I told my mum that this could be loading faster, because it's mainly text (= no large videos) that needs to be transferred. My mum answered:
"Your smartphone doesn't know that tho".
Looooong silence. Very looooong silence.3
I opened a Facebook account for my mum.
Fast forward 6 months, and I had to close down my own account because she was stalking me there10
Yay my stickers finally arrived! Thanks guys <3 @dfox @trogus
And it freaked out my mum. She called me all panicked like "you've got an international letter what did you do did you get scammed or something"
"Mum, those are stickers...I got for free"
"Ohhhh... ok then"
But shre was very worried there ^^'19
Mum: "What's that?"
Mum: "Is that like Java?"
"I still don't understand how you're paid to play with computers all day" - My Mum
If only my mum understood the extent to which people playing with computers influence the world...5
Mum: Is this the big data?
Father: Do you know anything about Bitcoin? Can you explain me what it is?1
my mum can't comprehend the idea of earning money from sitting in a chair doing stuff 😭 so when i tell her i work with computers, she always imagines me with a lab coat tearing the things down4
My parents didn't really care what I was doing, they were just happy I wasn't hanging around street corners.
They were also kind enough to buy me a computer or peripherals at Christmas. My sisters were not impressed with their Barbie houses and Sylvanian Families! 😂
Sisters: "Why does he get a computer?"
Mum: "Cos he doesn't ask for new clothes all year!"3
Coming home for xmas: fixing the router, configuring new smartphones, doin backups and listen to your mum complaing bout her "linus" system 👌🏻😂3
Fuck public transportation. Seriously. It's usually disgusting, too hot, too cold, to expensive and not customer Friendly.9
When I was a kid I sleep walked often ..
Once I was about 7 I sleep walked to the computer and started playing the old pinball game on XP it was 11 my mum shouted at me to go to bed so in my sleep state.. I did
Next morning I had the high score 😔 😎
My mum told me what happened in the morning - im smarter when im dreaming3
Mum: What is a software engineer?
Me: I create soft...
Mum: Wait, don't talk all techy, you're just gonna confuse me!
A bug is never just a mistake. It represents something bigger. An error of thinking. That makes you who you are.
So out shopping on a Saturday with the other half and 12yo son.... He clearly is wise before his years when he asks
"why do we always get dragged around all of the shops mum wants too go and we have to sit there waiting while if we want to go anywhere she complains and we can't?"
Hate to generalise but he's already figured out what most shopping trips in married life are!3
!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.
Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.
Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!
Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
I got fucking scammed.
Too bad that I just realized it.
As most of you know, I am in Cappadocia atm. We had a balloon flight. Yada yada yada.
Then I took a green tour that was provided from an travel agency that was a Partner of the hotel I am in.
The guide brought us to a stone seller. At the jewellry store, we were told that they have a special kind of gem. It gets mined in Mugla(Turkey).
Thus we thought that the stones they sell are mined natural gems called Zultanit.
Oh boy were we fucking wrong.
The zultanit gems are able to change their color depending on the light it receives. We were all fascinated at the demonstration. They told us that it is the second Turkish gem. First comes Turquoise.
I bough a zultanit bracelet for myself. And a zultanit ring for my mum.
It took me about 635 Lira which is about 95 Euro.
I was like damn. They are so damn valuable. It maked sense to me, because it was changing its colors at differentt areas.
Now guess what...
I went onto the internet and checked reviews about that shop. They were mostly saying that these are not real, but lab created gems. I was deeply shocked.
I checked the "certificate" that I got from them. It matched. My gems are lab created and not mined as they told to us tourists ffs.
I am crying internally.
How could I be that dumb to believe that?
Guys, never buy anything they tell you. Check everything to its detail.
The "zultanite" is a real gem. They even have their own trademark, but we were sold a "zultanit (lbrt)".
They did not show the certificate before buying it.10
My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....
In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.
I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.
At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.
Be kind to your parents.5
My mum comes to me asking "What's happening on my phone? What's this little thingy?" (typical question)
*looks at (android) phone*
*sees downloading icon*
Me: "It's downloading something..."
*pulls down notification bar*
*I see Facebook app updating*
Mum: "What is it?"
*3 seconds later*
"Oh it's the Facebook"
Took her literally 3 seconds to recognize😅
Love my mum though😊😏3
Changed the HTML of my school site locally to say we went back to school on the Tuesday not the Monday and blagged an extra lay in.
My auntie then called my mum and told her my cousins were at school why aren't me and my sister? BUSTED.
So worth it though!4
mum: "you flunked out of uni (course: literature) because of that computer and now you want to spend the rest of your life in front of it?!"2
Public announcement: if you build shitty software and get called out for it, either fix it and stand up for it, or fuck off. Nobody needs your idiotic passive aggressive tone.
My dad thinks I write a hundred characters which seem like an alien language a minute. My mum thinks I'm just 1 click away from hacking Pentagon. My step-dad, someone who knows computers a tad, knows I'm just typing random stuff hoping it works and he knows for sure I do not have a clue how it works.1
I came to visit my mum for Christmas, and my days are all about changing ringtones and showing her how to change volume on her phone. The worst is that she doesn't even try, it's just easier to ask me. Fun times.2
So I broke up with someone and need to vent. She was a wonderful person, but the way it ended still pisses me off.
The reason for breaking up, was both wonderful and delirious. She claimed her mum told her there was someone dark in her life, and she had to cut off all connections from them.
She broke up with me, because she was worried and I quote: "I would taint her soul". I laughed and smiled throughout the breakup scene. She wept at the end. I really liked her... I even gave up smoking for her && I had mad withdrawals btw. Like wtf, of all the people she just knew I was the dark one (her boyfriend). That is just poetically fucked up. I literally felt like my life was a 90s videogame at that moment.
I'm good now though. Ranting is healthy. The upside is I barely coded while I was with her, now I code all the time. Morale of the story: 'People are crazy ' + '& Love is fucked'. Bye for now51
I don’t get marketing directors. They basically get paid a ton of money to pay an agency to do their job.
I mean... my mum could pick up the phone to an agency and say “make me a campaign for this”.
What’s worse is when said marketing director comes over to the tech people and starts asking questions, and you KNOW he’s only asking them because someone at the agency he’s hired has asked him the same question.
And then sometimes I find myself feeling sorry for them. Imagine being a marketing person... imagine being a useless cunt and knowing everyone knows it..,9
My mum - "Something to do with traffic lights"
Because I told her I was designing an Ethernet traffic generator device.1
So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.
It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.
I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.
4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.
Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊
So mum wanted me to purchase her a new lettop.
Yeah, we just spoke.
While consulting on what she needs, I noticed that little flaw. So I gently told her :"mum, it's written with an A".
Mom goes:" aaaah! A LAB-TOP!"
Could not blame her. She made her life as first best scoring woman in business degree at her time.
And sure enough she understood laptop and we laughed a lot ='D2
That moment when...
You’re supposed to be doing work.
You have a deadline.
It’s your sister’s baby shower and you promised to help.
Sis comes over every day to hang with family.
I’ve still not managed to get any work done today, video games and hanging and baking have had my time 🤣
I was up from 12-1 making jelly shots from scratch because my mum wanted blue ones and couldn’t find any blue jelly 😂
They’re bubblegum and for my first attempt I think they look pretty sick.
Will have to find out whether they set in the morning 🙈2
Mum: can you look at my phone?
*bunch of random shit pops up all over the place*
Me: your phones got a bunch of viruses on it or something. You'll have to get it fixed
Her: can't you do it? You make apps. Can't you just make an app for me to fix my phone?
Me: I don't really make apps, besides that's kind of impossible.
Her: so what did you go to university for?
So lets see if i can get this devrant stuff right.
So a couple of years ago i worked for this company, where i worked in datawarehousing and business intelligence. I was in my 3rd year of working as a software engineer and was full of ideas, motivation and just wanted to do cool stuff.
Anyway, after the first couple of months of working where i learned what they actually wanted to achieve, i got some ideas on how to improve the workflow. They were just simple things, like updating our IDE (we were working with a very old Visual Studio version), getting useful editors, using some more modern ideoms like unittests, continous integration, etc. Simple stuff really.
So in my endless naiveness i went to my supervisor and told him my ideas. He was not particularly interested in my ideas and cut me off somewhere in the middle and said that he would talk to his boss.
So a couple of weeks after that (nothing happened), i went to him again and asked about it.
M:" Hey Bossman, have you thought about my ideas?"
B:"We won't do them."
M:"None of them?"
So at this point i was a bit bummed out, but surely he has a good reason right? So i asked why.
B:"Well, because we always have done it the way we do it now."
I think i had a bit of a blank stare at that point, because he looked at me funny. If we would do things like we always have done them, we would be still in the stone age you moron.
God i hate it when people say stuff like that.3
So last year i was competing in IT basics, school level went great so i went to state level. This is my first state competition ever and im really nervous, everyone is telling me things like "you've got the gift, don't worry" (by everyone i mean my mum) but i keep believing that everyone who went to the state level has a 'gift' for IT. So the competition is about to start and a guy next to me raises hand to ask a question and im like so nervous that he is going to ask something i dont understand or is too complicated for me. The guy fucking asks how to get past the login screen because he clicked on an admin account and it is requesting a password. The fucking guest account is right next to the admin account that he clicked on and i proceed to help him and i click on the guest account and he litteraly asks me "wow i didnt know that was possible". What the fuck. IT BASICS STATE LEVEL. DOSENT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO ENTER A GUEST ACCOUNT. Next on, the competition is over and we have to enter passwords to submit our online test so as i walk to exit the classroom i see a guy struggling and i ask him like dude you need to write a password and submit! Hes like umm yeah i know but umm you see... I dont know how to write a # (it was required as a password) .IT FUCKING BASICS STATE LEVEL.DOSENT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A '#'. Later on i got 8th place and the fucker who didnt know how to write # got 1st because he knew fucking exel questions that i didnt.4
my mum just sent me a picture of her and my long time no see cousin from US over WhatsApp. Short time after that, Facebook sent me a friend proposal of a girl from US I don't know - obviously it was my cousins girlfriend because she had a profile picture with him. My cousin doesn't have Facebook.
so what Facebook did must have been some face analysis of the picture my mum sent me over WhatsApp and compared my cousins face with profile pictures from friends of my friends to send me the proposal I got.
this is so fucking scary! I immediately thought of @linuxxx security blog and how my usage of such software affects the privacy of others besides me being transparent as fuck.
Definitely have to rethink my software choices and app/online behaviour!11
I'm a responsable grown up! *uses a can of glitter hairspray on hair* much adult. Such wow.
Now I'm leaving behind a trail of fabulous. No regrets.
Pfft and my mum keeps on asking when I'm going to have kids...53
Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.
That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.
You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.
Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.
I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.
But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.
Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?
Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.
But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.
Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.8
My mum just had to call me to change our home WiFi password, because she can't change it on her laptop.
She's pretty bad with technology, but she had to call me to do it, because no one else knew how to. Including my brother-in-law who designs IT systems for major banks and system admins working for the government.
She had to call me, from Hungary to do it. I live in Scotland.4
My parents think I'm teaching computers to think strategic to rule the world some day. They are a bit scared. They love me though. But they are scared.
Also my mum once told me that I should take care not to end in hell. She was serious about it.1
I swear to god if I see another goddamn todo list tutorial im gonna fucking switch careers. JS fanboys with their blogs... jesus christ i thought npm was spoiled but god, try googling angular tutorials... Seriously, you pick a framework and write a useless shitty blog article about the most obvious implementation? Is that your thing now? Write a tutorial on how to make a mailchimp clone? too hard? I thought so. Your mum must be very proud of you crackhead9
When your mum asks what you are doing and you say "studying Python" n she be like, go n study what will you do reading about snakes....
P.s. had to explain her about this language2
So, a few months back my mother had some issues with her windows 10 box not being able to do proper backups to a backup partition. At the same time I was pulling insane hours at work and writing on a eBook on commission for a guy, besides having small kids with on and off flu and shit.
Needless to say, I didn't have time to look at the backup issues. Well, even though my mom is one of those dogs you can't teach new tricks, she has always been resourceful enough to get help with things.
This time she picked up the phone and called Microsoft Support, got some guys to remote in and take a look. They messed around a bit and said they were done.
She phoned me up later that day to tell me how proud she was of herself for doing that. Of course, she skipped telling me the important bit about she actually calling them, rather describing it as "Microsoft was just on my computer and fixed it".
You can imagine my immediate reaction, cold sweat running down my back, adrenalin rushing in as I dug through the details of what had happened.
A few days later she calls me up again and tells me the problem is back, and we agree that even though the MS dudes was not able to fix it at first, she should try again, as she had a ticket to reference.
The next attempt by MS actually fried her partitions, and apparently they had f-ed up trying to delete and recreate the backup partition.
That's not the worst of it though. Since they fried her disk, her computer crashed and naturally the remoting won't work. In our country, they have no people on the ground to do hands on help, and they didn't have a partner near by. Her not having a win 10 usb stick, nor a spare computer to make one, she was in a surreal predicament.
She was also quite pissed, and pissed off mums are not to be messed with. She managed to get Microsoft to agree to cover the costs of a non-partner to visit her to fix the problems, and using her as the middle man, they made an agreement with the 3rd-party tech support company.
After the box was fixed though, some more issues arose... regarding billing. The 3rd-party tech support was unable to get in contact with the person at MS that was going to sign off on the bill, and again using my mom as the middle man, it was agreed that my mom, as the customer, was to be reimbursed for the bill to the 3rd-party.
Guess what... 3 months went by, with weekly follow-ups and nagging from my mom, and still no money...
At this time, I had time to help her, and after some digging and borderline stalking, we managed to get the phone numbers of some of the higher ups in my country, and she started calling them directly.
After talking to a couple who refused to help, she reached the Vice President of the country branch, and was finally able to talk to someone who gave a shit.
Still took over a month more to actually get the money, but now she had someone who actually gave her statuses, receipts and ETAs.
I grew up as internet became a thing, so I had a very early exposure to computers. There's actually a video of me crawling onto an old computer which still had a 5.25" floppy drive. By the age of 4 I actually started using it properly, my mum said I once talked about pressing enter in my sleep 😂 I'm glad I was born in
a time (94) to witness technology evolve at such a crazy scale. Kids these days will never know what kind of privilege it was to have a 128MB pendrive 😛2
Went to the mall with mom the other day,
Mum: so what do you want?
Me: (pointing to stress ball) that ball
Mum: stop embarrassing us, are you a kid?
Me: they are stress balls
Mum: take a pill or exercise if you stressed
My mind: I told you not to go the mall with your, fucking kid....
devrant a ni**a really need them stress balls9
My mum told me to, "get the sheets of the line."
I did as she asked, but later that night she came back and said, "where are the pillow cases?"1
I don’t know what this rant will look like, but hold tight because I’m pissed as fuck.
Why? Well, let’s start with the protagonist, which is me.
ARE YOU A NEW KIND OF IDIOT? 2 DAYS FOR A CABLE.
Let me explain this, I’ve picked up an old HP ProDesk 600G from work, works pretty well, installed 16Gb RAM, 3x 1TB Disks, let’s use it for some lab environment.
Wipe Windows, repartition this mess, install Kubuntu, went all ok, let’s reboot.
Login screen: fine, desktop: nothing. Two folders, command bar works. I try to open Konsole, nothing shows up. I try to go on tty2, nothing, tty3 something shows up.
Ok, maybe I’ve messed up something, let’s update, upgrade , fix missing and blablabla.
Fuck me, nothing works. Let’s go check the logs. Nothing.
What the fuck? Well it’s late let’s go to sleep. Next day I start over, reinstall Kubuntu, same problem.
Debug : nothing.
Then. THEN. I see this fucking cable. The fucking VGA. I was in DVI, what the fuck? Then I realised that I plugged in all sort of cables and plugged DVI AND VGA and DVI was set as second output. I was on FUCKING SECOND SCREEN THE WHOLE TIME. After unplugging naturally everything was normal again.
Fuck you self idiot. Fuck you.
Anyway, I’m also pissed of about my roommate. DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ANYTHING WITHOUT ASKING. Holy fucking shit, if you need to touch something, put your hand into your dirty pants and shake your immaculate dick.
I set up a fucking smart house not to fucking break everything. If a cable is there, leave it there. If I put an access point on a closet, leave it fucking there. Do you think I just want to wavebath to get a fucking tan? NO, I HAVE NI FUCKING COVERING IN MY ROOM.
If there’s a bulb in my lamp DO NOT FUCKING SWIPE IT. I spent 15 Minutes understanding why I couldn’t turn it on with my fucking phone.
FUCK YOU, and your mother that so badly designed your inorganic piece of cells that we call brain3
My daily routine:
*goes to class*
*procrastinates about project deadlines*
*cries to mum when stress levels are skyrocketing*
*legit does nothing to rectify life and then cribs about everything*
*cries to sleep*
Also, mum’s tired of me wailing.5
Context: Madre recently got a new laptop to replace her old HP, but since she doesn't know much about computers, I picked it out for her. I went a little overboard on the specs because I new it was a "family laptop" and I would end up using it more than she would.
Mum: *yelps after typing on computer*
Me: "What's wrong"
Mum: "This computer is too fast!"
Me: ... "What?"
Mum: "It loads things too fast"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Mum: "When I click on the apps they open almost immediately"
Me: "That's a good thing"
Mum: "No it's not, it startled me!"
*goes back to reading book*1
So this morning my mum wakes me up at about 7am and she goes "Ollie I'm really scared I think someone has hacked into my phone" so I say " oh shit what happened" then she says "there's a man sending me horrible text messages and threatening me" then I say "wtf let me have a look" so I looked at the phone and it was one of those text message story's on Facebook so this whole time she was just watching a video in full screen while unaware that she was watching a video ffs literally anyone over the age of 40 is a danger to technology looool.4
It's funny when you study in a diploma course that clearly states having a computer as a prerequisite but your mum nags you everyday for studying on the comp top much instead of doing exercises on paper. Well I didn't know I could check syntax for c++ on paper.4
"Stop spending so much time on the computer, there so much more to life than just a screen." ok mum.1
Back in august a fren approached me regarding joining an internship. Fee:70$.
Fkin prostitution I said and left.
Today I got a confirmation letter for an internship that I earned through months of sweat and blood.
Witness my rise, peasants9
My mum: "When I found you taking the brand new computer apart when you were 12, then it still working when you put it back together, I knew you'd end up working with computers".
Nobody was surprised when I got my first job as a developer.1
My Mum thinks I write a lot of magical text and I make computers do what I want.
My sister thinks I'm a tech God.
So pretty accurate really for those who use their computers exclusively to play The Sims
My mum wants to learn how to use a computer. She wants to help my dad in his business in case something needs to be done and neither me nor my dad are (currently) available.
Will be .... a great challenge, since she didn't use a desktop computer almost ever, but i'm nevertheless proud of her and will try my best to help her😍😊😎10
The wordpress site I told my friend her friends I would take a look at made me feel a bit like a real hacker.
Without knowing them I guessed their username and password for the admin panel in 15 tries. Today they send me the password and username via email.
I just told them I already had access and that they should change the password.
TL;DR first off you are lazy, it isnt such a long text, but the real tldr is "Me Hackerboy"
A while ago, i decided to finally learn a bit about the web stack (especially django) and create my first web page. The image shows what it currently looks like.
I am actually very happy with the result. It will be my personal little Home automation software, with progressive apps etc. It runs on the pi plattform and can currently switch an IO to a Relais, which in turn switches on a light.
The applications of this are really endless, which is quite cool and leads me to do more stuff at my home with it. So dear devRant: Does anybody know of some nice hackable light bulbs/spots for my home that i can use? Or other cool hackable hardware that could be applied?
Mum and dad and any other non techy people
1. what i am doing
2. If i can earn money with the product i am making.....2
When I was a child I was allowed to use my dad's PC (my parents are divorced) (~1995-6, 3-4 yrs) - back then I played blockout and space Invaders on that windows 2.0 machine. My mum later got a win 3.1 box and I often played around in paint - so did I on my dad's new windows 95 pc. Back then I wasn't able to read (which usually isn't uncommon for a 4-5 yr old) but I was so fed up with those constant "do you want to save this thing dialogs" that I started to learn reading with the help of my parents. (Thanks to that I was able to play Monkey Island 2 :D )
Fast forward to the first years of school: we had two PC's in the classroom and I somehow fixed basic errors so my teacher signed.l me up for the computer course in the second year - usually only students in the third and fourth year may attend this course. I was so thrilled and that was the time where I learned basic DOS stuff and how to build a PC. Again fast forward some years to the 6th year - again another teacher saw my interest in it and asked me if I'd be interested in the basic programming course where I then learned basics in HTML, CSS and JS but that was not enough for me and so I did some research and learned php. In high school, my major was science and IT and in the last year, my IT teachers sat in the IT class and I held the courses as my knowledge was greater than theirs. And yep, that's pretty much how I started coding1
So my mum is currently in the final stages of PhD in physiology and I warned her about WannaCry (she uses windows 10 laptop)
So now its my fucking fault and I have to copy all her 900GB files to my poor 1TB Linux laptop and she wouldn't even bother copying them to the family desktop (2TB) which no one uses and has no Internet access whatsoever. Like WTF!?!?!?!??!12
Motherfucker, do you even review your own code, never mind getting anyone else to do it?
"Hi" randomly added on a new line in the middle of a switch block, a syntax error, as the only change in a file?
Breaking two methods by misunderstanding which database object a variable identifies- but making no other change to those functions? And not adding permissions checks to the new API methods you added in that file?
Overwriting the email template that goes out to users who were added straight to the CRM, by reusing the same file for a template for users that have been invited to an event?
Adding your new fields to the old CRM sync code, again leaving me to figure it out, thereby leaving users' changes likely to be overwritten every morning?
And pushing this to master, supposedly tested, without a heads-up?
How often does your mum need to buy you a new box of crayons? Because these ones are chewed to pieces.
Suck my balls. Or rather don't, you probably don't know you're not meant to use your teeth.
When you hear your mum and dad talking about traveling abroad and when i sneak to them, they say "we won't go, so go and study, my honey."
My mum was programming at high school. It was COBOL, but she never used it again. So thats how she lost every sense for programming. Even like 2 months earlier, she thought I am just playing games and watching videos, but then we finally had a talk and she understands now. I am happy.
Asking my mum to answer the child safety questions to Leisure Suit Larry.
"Here you go. Oh that looks fun.."
"Can you go now?"
-- I was 6.2
Dell et al should start selling pre-stickered laptops so execs could buy that "dev cred" look.
There's probably a science to producing a look that doesn't make you look like someone's mum at a cool party.
What sticker placement approach do people use?3
So due to some necessary repairs on my Nokia 6.1 i had to use an iPhone for the last 2 weeks (was the device they gave me for the duration of the repair). And let me say something in advance: I own a Macbook Pro, i own an iPad Pro, both devices are excellent for what i use them for. I enjoy OS X, i enjoy iOS on the tablet. But oh boy is the iPhone a shitshow of a magnitude i have never seen.
First off: The notifications. They feel like Android 4 or something. No customization, no grouping, not context. Also the swipe down gesture simply blocks whatever i am doing.
Multitasking: What a shitshow. There is no continuity, apps reload on a whim, no switching between apps (except that strange thing where the app shows up on the left upper screen, but i can't go back from there?)
Settings: WHY ARE APPS SETTINGS IN THE GLOBAL SETTINGS!! And not even all settings are. They are all over the place. And the settings are so convoluted and bloated, i can't find half of the things i am looking for.
Clock & Alarm: Goddamn that design choice with the edit button infuriates me to no end. Why can't i click an alarm and simply edit it? Also: Why do i have to enter the clock app to even see which alarm is going off next?
The Appdrawer: WHY CAN'T I SORT MY APPS BY NAME?? I have to conciously remember where i put things. Apps i use rarely, apps i use often.
God, iOS on the phone is so fucking terrible.4
My first experience was in 1998. My grandfather had a computers and even tho he was hesitant to let me use them my mom convinced him saying that I may eventually turn into an engineer like him. I used them mostly for paint and a couple of space shooter games he later got for me. It was great. They always had computers, they even had a c64 at one point and i remember playing with that one as well.
My first computer tho, it was in 2010 while I was in the Army. Still have that lil hp in my office although it does not work anymore.
Nothing speciall really. I've had computers all my life and a mother that was passionate about them. I owe everything I am to my mom. I think that it is because of her that I became a computer scientist.
I am continuously transforming from being terrified to being sad to being tensed at the moment.Don't know what depression is , but i guess this is not a right phase .
Am just an average guy trying to get my confidences up as a good person/student/professional/whatever. last to last semester when I joined college for a cse degree, i had entered with the brightest face and the biggest smile because of just one thought: "this is where i belong, this is what i want" . i always got excited when i saw little things jumping around in my mobile , calculations being performed instantly, and the day i got my laptop, i knew i want to know every thing of how virtuality works.
I never cared about social life tho, i was a universally lonely introvert single child. Had 2-3 friends in school, who i don't care about much,a lost crush , a great group of home buddies and some friends here and there.
So when i started college i went there with multiple goals: making my career there, finding gud buddies, love again and many more..
But recently, everything is changing: realised that college is a piece of shit, people are always selfish and exploiting, a race is always going on where people are secretly running and you gotta learn by yourself.
So here is the current me: college attendance 37%, not went to gym past 1 week, human interaction last 2 days :2(mum nd dad), whatsapp last message: 4 days ago,sleep timings 10am to 6pm(daytimes lol), currently working on: this project that I took as "my last project that on completing means i know Android,and could code every fucked up app in the market)", which isn't yet completed bcz every-time i learn something in it, i realise their is one more part of the course am following , but i should know because this is useful.
And that makes me more sad :/1
One of my uncle is becoming a classic nightmare.
He was kind of getting offended that I never payed much attention to his request of making a website for his impromptu travel agent sidejob.
He claims he gets approached by some people for tour packages. His revenue model is simply taking the payment from them with his commission and passing over responsibilities and everything else to some other travel agent. I don't know how he has the connections to make it happen or build it as a sustainable business but that's none of my business.
Anyway, what irritates me most is that he doesn't seem willing to invest in building the site. I strongly suspect he expects me to build it free ( free as in I cover expense for server and domain ) for him. He didn't have a solid plan on what features he is looking for in the website or even come up with a proper name for the site. He basically told me to buy whatever I think is good.
When I asked him to pay some money for buying the server space, he has gone mum about it.
My best guess is that he is probably looking on internet to do it himself and outsmart me.
Well, good for me.3
Ever had to work with a Web backend, which is written in C++, has 30000 lines of code and is contains php, JQUERY, HTML as well as a desktop UI? I have to do that right now. Now, I am not the most experienced dev with Web stuff but this is fucking ridiculous.3
and another case of my parents discovering new technologies i alteady told them about:
my mum hast just found out about hyperloop, after watching on tv, and is like "wow omg that's incredible 😯😶🤔"
me thinking "well good you (finally) know about it, welcome to the future😅"
if i told them, they would be like "oh ok interesting" and then forget about it the next second😑😪2
Never in my life have i seen such a convoluted and complicated framework as Celery. Celery sucks donkey ass. That is all.2
-Mum: 'you start a new side project like every two weeks, but you almost never finish one'
-Me: 'i am finishing them, but other than these projects, i have to earn a living to be able to pay my dorm etc. and i have to study besides that ..'
My mum said that i should get some fresh air outside...
Now I'm a true dev... Feels lonely
But i can write programs which is nice2
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."2
My family had a very good understanding of what I'm doing.
My dad is working at a big software company as project manager (he himself did code years ago, but it's actually a physicist).
My mum is a language teacher, but has taught herself web design while she wasn't working in her job (taking care of us kids) and was working as self employed web designer from home for some years.
My youngest brother is studying business informatics.
My other brother is not studying anything technical, but very open minded towards these topics and has good knowledge about it.
My grandparents believe what I told them: "I (read as: software developers) create everything that happens in your computer after you've turned it on."1
Dear god, tried to explain to my mum how to use a computer. Wait for spring creators update...😓
Everything went ... decent: learn opening different windows, closing them again, explaining functionality, which areas/buttons/etc.. are interactive ... and then comes the browser with its tabs😓
the only program which can open multiple "instances" of itself ... in itself. How to explain that? (i know that's probably not correct but that's the only way i can explain it) Needless to say she hasn't figured out how to use broswer tabs and what they are there for.
An now "Sets" come to windows. Oh boy how to teach that...?😥
... I'll probably just never show her just to keep safe😅8
so my mum got a new phone yesterday (huawei p smart)...
boy will that be an adventure showing her what is possible now (coming from moto g3😅)🙄
but hey i'm a patient guy when it comes to that😏
My parents actually know pretty well what I do, my mum used to take a course on web-development.
But my grandparents ... they think I somehow 'talk' to the computer and make it do what I want it to ... may also be important to note that neither of them ever touched nor used a PC.
tl;dr: My grandparents think I am some kind of PC whisperer forcing PCs to do my bidding.
ughh here i am with an opportunity for a job (in london) and got given 3 programming tasks and my mum is surely praying so i wont get it ,i hear screamingin my head 'Nooooo!' when trying to even think about this third task , ive already done 2 ,
i really need to stop telling her about these london jobs she's witching them away , but what can ya do when i applied to more jobs here and some in manc yet i get through in londan 🤷🏼♀️1
Since day 0, I have been fond of computers. One of my first plush was called "DataDog" and looked like a CRT screen with dog ears around. According to my mum I was "addicted" to it.
At year 2, my dad was arranging some music on some software while I was watching him on his lap. Quick jump to the present: nowadays and since 10 years I run my own home studio with three guitars, two keyboards, one bass, three monitors, a microphone, an amp and a cabinet... coincidence? I think not!
Fast forward 5 years later (so I'm 6-7 years old), and I was playing with the legendary pinball game on Win95, as well as Flight Simulator. Then I was hogging mum's laptop to play settlers II (<3 that game), I eventually got my computer, and got into Quake III Arena being aged 10 (and had to tell my mum that game was safe for my age haha - I eventually removed the blood effects).
The Quake 3 Arena chapter is interesting: it got me into router configuration as I wanted to open a port through the router to host my own dedicated games with friends, it got me into DNS configuration (I was running a no-DNS client that allowed friends to join me through a DNS while having a dynamic IP) and eventually... to modifying .cfg files to tune my server as I wanted it. No programming here but a nice intro into :)
Then I hated the fact everybody would point their finger at me and say "geek" - I was only 13, fragile, sensitive, and I wanted everything but a bad image on me.
Meanwhile I continued on getting interested in hardware and configure my own computers, and investing myself into music production.
Then, university. "What do you want to study?" I thought of everything but IT, fleeing the image of a "geek". Turns out it was a waste of time, and at 21 yo I got into web development (well, just html and css), then learned a bit of PHP, finally got a specialized 2-year training and now here I am!
I was bound to be in IT either way since day 0, and funny fact, I've used every windows edition since Win95.
This is genuinely what happened the first time my mum asked what I specifically do on the computer..
Told her its web development, "but not like what you see, what produces what you see" (always seems to help explain). Anyway, a few minutes in she says "it's amazing isn't it, like how electricity works and stuff"1
"Are you sure this is not a scam" mum when I wanted to but my first lot of web hosting from one.com2
1. When someone Buzzes you on Jabber and wants you to join TS
2. Mum says it's dinner.
3. My little brother.
You know what really grinds my gears? Products that have no right of linking your data to an online platform.
Case and point: Password Managers. Nearly all of them work only with an account on a given service, have the passwords stored on their servers and so on and so forth. There is 0 transparency and for that matter 0 security. I found my choice, though it infuriates me terribly.
Another thing are budget managers. The switch for YNAB from local to on servers really annoys me. They should have no business in storing my very private data on their server. I don't understand people using it either.1
I saw some game maker software (Klik & Play for the nerds), in a super market budget section and pestered my mum to buy it for weeks, got it, after a year of playing about started to read and found out about for loops & functions..... My software didn't have these as it was just creating actions for game events, very limited... Realised my games (if you could call them that) could be so much better with more control and started to look into languages like BASIC, the rest is my history :)1
As odd as it may be, but when I find an old 5000 line kshell script on an old build server that has its own built in menu happiness fills me.3
So I am usually more of a classical backend/ app developer guy. I like my Local compilers/interpeters whatever. Recently though i kinda started thinking about how Web Apps work, and how to actually make one, which lead me to the Realisation that i actually have no idea how any of it works. So I started a little private project using django, as I am quite good with python. But soon after starting i realized that that wouldnt be enough, i would need to learn the basics as well as a couple of languages.
K&R style Brackets are so goddamn shitty. I hate hate hate hate that style. It makes code so goddamn hard to read. And for what gain? You write "less" lines of code? So what? Who gives five fucks about that? Readability is key for coders.9
One day I had to work from my parent's home as I went to visit them on a week day. I was working on the living room. One moment my mum comes to me and says: "They are paying you all that money for doing THIS all day long? I wouldn't give you $20/month for that." We both laugh. 😂😂2
Mum: you can't figure out how to close the latch on that window, what sort an engineer are you?!
me: Mum, Dad I want to a developer like [my older brother's name]
mum: I don't know what you guys do anyway. just make sure to be the best at it.
dad: Good luck, don't forget to start your own company soon enough.
I'm not really a developer... but my Mum and Dad did both say "You are managing servers and coding? You are a geographer? Not a computer Scientist?" x1
(Note: I got a bit carried away while writing this, so the end result is a lot longer than I expected. Apologies for the long post!)
The beginning of my programming journey started with a book.
This was back in 7th grade. I had some basic exposure to BASIC (pun maybe intended?) from our school curriculum, but it was nothing too interesting as our teachers never really treated it as anything important. They would stress a lot on those Microsoft Office chapters (yes, we actually studied Microsoft Office as part of our computer science course at school) and mostly ignore the programming chapters because I dare say many of them struggled with it themselves. So although I had been exposed to *some* programming, it was mostly memorizing the syntax without actually understanding what was going on.
Then one day there was this book fair thing going on at this local Carrefour (for those of you who've no idea, it's a pretty famous hypermarket chain) in this mall, and for some reason my mother and I were in that mall on that day. Now the interesting thing is that this usually never happens -- I usually visit malls with my dad or my friends, this is the only instance I remember where I had actually visited one with just my mom. This turned out to be fortuitous. My father is the kind of person who's generally not amenable to any kind of extraneous shopping requests. My mother, on the other hand, was and remains pliable.
Fast forward to today, and I've never looked back and wondered what it would be like to have done something else.
I try to write a comment about promise. Promise is like you call your mum. You hit a voice msg. Msg said she will call back. You don't know when. maybe tomorrow or next year. Ok?
Goodbye Ampps, hello Valet!!
Just got a Macbook Pro recently for personal web dev stuff. Previously, I usually use Ampps (like MAMP) for my local development.
But I want to move away from that as I wanted to go through the whole process of setting up my own local dev env.
After 3 days of trial and errors and many deadends, finally managed to get an existing Craft project running on Valet. The most tedious part was figuring out how connect Sequel Pro to local MySQL.
Through this whole process I've learned how to use Homebrew, setup MySQL with Sequel Pro, use Valet and most importantly, learning how to troubleshoot these problems...
Exclaimed a big YES! And mum came rushing into my room thinking I was mad... whateva...
Next step, figure out Docker.
Our first computer ran MSDOS. All I remember about it is playing "Wolf 3D" and this platform game I cannot recall the name of where you were in a land made of sweets. I could never remember the commands to start the games. Me and my Dad played Wolf and could never get past the guards with machine guns. My Mum used the PC for "word processing", I think she carried her work around on 5 inch floppy disks.3
Finally release the next version of my own asocial (*) medium, wegurus, which will feature SEO friendly urls, responsive layout, and a lot of minor and major fixes under the bonnett.
(* Asocial because it's basically just me and my mum using it atm ;))1
Recommendations for beginners guide to digital cameras and how to use them.
Mum has a new camera, previously used a non-digital.
Any suggestions on specific books?
(She still likes to read paper..)2
Maybe this is off topic, but currently I have a rant so intense that I just want to post this anywhere I can rant.
I am not sure how to cook But I am interested to become a chef. My dream is to be a chef. That's it. I have seen the cooking in a recent popular action RPG game, Cooking Mama 2. And I will get my hands dirty and syart spending hours to become a chef
Chef is cool. So even I don't know anything about cooking, I got the gut to get into my Mama's kitchen and look around for some ingredients.
Day one, I can instantly make the best food. I am a prodigy.
I made a Kale Salad. It tastes good. I can't resisit sharing my great food to my Mum and my friends
'hey, I am a genius chef !!"
But they laugh at me, 'Lol, you are a recipe kiddie.'
Omg, why are they so rude? they are jealous at me because they don't know how to cook? Lol
My first memorable exposure to computers. When my mum came home with the hypebeast rocking a counterfeit version of windows 95. Watching it boot for the first time to the orchestra that was the phone line connecting us to the internet. Ahh it truly gives me a sense of nostalgia when I think about how far we’ve really come
When you're doing someone a favor by looking at their PC and you diagnose what causes the issues and you try to explain them & then they tell you its not the problem cause they googled what it was.....
Count.. To.. Ten..
My LG WineSmart just became a very stupid, uselesss piece of shit. Firstly, it decided to upgrade itself - in the middle of a phone call! So, the phone itself considered its crappy upgrade more important than my phone call that was abruptly interrupted by the upgrade! WTF!? LG, seriously? Secondly, ever since the upgrade, the so called "Priority Mode" is totally broken. It's supposed to buzz only on phone calls from favourites, i.e. the mum of children and only her, but now it lets all calls through, so any idiot can call and disturb at any time! This phone doesn't have a silent mode neither, so now it has to be switched off at all times, except when I really need to use it, actually making the phone almost completely useless. LG, what utter stupid crap have you created?! What's your thoughts behind this, if any?7