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Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I repeat
Will the bug in my code please stand up?
I think we have a problem here.
*music intensifies*11 -
Me: *Applies for entry level full-stack job*
Recruiter: "Sorry, I can't hire you because you don't have the years of experience we're looking for. We can take you on as an intern! Unpaid of course, while we train you."🙂
Clueless Me: "Sure, why not."
*second day into the internship*
Boss: "I have this really big project, and I want you to be the lead. I'm going to be very vague about what I want, so you'll constantly have to make changes to user stories, wireframes, & database designs until I'm satisfied. Don't ask me any questions for clarity, because I'm busy 🙂"
Silly Me: "okay"
Boss: "Also, can you train all the other interns? You're so lucky! You'll get to pick the best to join your team" 🙂
Stupid Me: "okay"
Boss: *emails me a spreadsheet of 80 Front-End interns (freshmen and sophomores)*
"Did you start building the app yet?" 🙂
Me (Dummy): "You haven't approved the final wireframes ye-"
Boss: "And for the other interns' training, what did you have in mind?" 🙂
Me (Dumbass): "I made a training guide, they're already followi-"
Boss: "My project manager for this other project left, guess he couldn't handle the pressure of a real job... HAHAHAHA! You're gonna take the lead of that project, too!"
*Adds me to the slack group* 😁
Me (Imbecile): "Wha-"
Boss: "And we've been having trouble with keeping track of everyone's code. Is there something we can do instead of slacking code snippets back and forth?" 🤔😮
Me (Fucking Imbecile): "Wait, you guys are working on a project and you don't have any form of version control? Maybe we should take a few steps back and plan thi-"
Boss: "Are you gonna take initiative or not!?" 😡
Me (Enlightened): "I quit." 😑
Former Boss: "Too bad... I was going to offer you a paid role tomorrow morning. Oh well!" 😔38 -
Friend: Dude, css is so cool and amazing. I love it
Me: Erm ye, okay...
Friend: I think, im gonna make a css program to save data to database. That would make it even cooler!
Me: ye, okay. Wait what?! Hahahahaha
Friend: ??? Why u laughing13 -
Hello, guys.
I'm here is new. I'm from Russia. Sorry for my English, but i will learn his and talk you all about think.45 -
You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...7
-
There's not much worse than trying to fix your CSS for half an hour, only to realise that it's a cache issue...9
-
*knock knock*
SIR do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior the WINDOWS UPDATE?
"uhm no sorry I'm busy"
*sees a bulldozer in the background*
"what the .."
SIR just let him in your heart and feel his security patches drive your vulnerabilities away!!
"but the rendering hasn't finished ye.."
TOO LATE SIR, green light fellas let's do this
*bulldozer destroys my house and i wake up, sweating*
*hugs laptop*
"Oooh Ubuntu my baby I've missed you soo much!"
*wayland crashes*2 -
You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol
So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...
Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...
I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.
15 -
I think Linus Torvalds would be up there in the top 5 ranters list if he had a devrant.
It’s not quite @AlexDeLarge creativity but some of his swears are certainly pretty full of imagery.
9 -
Yo.
His palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
Bugs littering his code already
Cold spaghetti 🍝
He’s nervous but on the surface he looks calm and ready to git push
(Hit a blank with thinking of code-related lyrics, anyone got ideas?)16 -
Ninety-ninety Law - Tom Cargill
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time."
A good list of laws found here (old but good read):
http://globalnerdy.com/2007/07/...2 -
Once I had to do a 'hands on' pair programming session for a position I applied for... Together with the lead dev we would switch coding every 15 minutes It was somewhat of a horror story...
The assignment was to implement an password reset flow, connecting it to the api and then handling the entire password reset flow, in Angular becahs ye know has to be Angular...
After drafting the ui and setting up the click events, I wanted to hookup the api calls, but then it was time to switch around...
The fucktard dev first started to adjust my classmappings to be more in line with his preference, without touching the css classnames... Ok... Micro managing ... Check...
So after breaking the styles, he wrote the fetches to the api endpoints and that was his 15 minutes of shame...
I continued only to find out the endpoints we were using had errors in them and would not return anything workable...
The dev said he'd tested the endpoint before and it worked, but clearly it didn't...
After about an hour of going back and forth trying to get this to work he got a call from a client because server was down (surprise), he excused himself and had to prioritize on this, running out and leaving me there for the remaining morning ...
I just sat there waiting for the HR checkout talk, only to lean towards rejecting the position...
Fucking waste of time, and in the end the feedback was they doubted MY TECHNICAL SKILLS ... And wouldn't make me an offer 😂👍 nice story bro...
K THX BAI!7 -
If I changed girlfriends as often as I changed JavaScript libraries, I'd still be looking for a girlfriend.
Cuz I try and avoid using JavaScript.7 -
* login tutorial *
Alright, everything looks good and secure and all
"and now to keep the user logged in..."
Aww ye, this is just what I needed
"we set logged in to \"true\" in a cookie and add another cookie with the users name"
2 -
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14 -
@dfox should split devrant into categories.
-rants
-advice/help
-weekly rants (already there)
-dev memes
Then people can just read rants or whatever they want without other things getting in the way.
Down vote can also be used if something is in the wrong category9 -
What's with the 4 pixel wide scrollbars on some desktop software these days? Does nobody care about accessibility anymore?
No seriously.
Fuck you.
And why the fuck does open source software seem to be the main culprit - as usual.
And tutorials telling us to add an extra blank line to our source code because fucking Linux distros decide to put an overlay horizontal scrollbar just over the top of where the last visible line in an editor appears.8 -
I am UI developer. The fucking domain model which we have in our project changes very frequently (once in a week (f**k)).
There is one person who is backend developer in this project. I call him TATTI because code he wrotes is "maha tatti".
Now real story,
Whene ever he makes any chnages to, so called, very complex domain model, he even doesn't inform me to reflect changes in UI. So whenever it goes on production, our boss abuse me for not updating UI.
Fucking tatti, just message me what should be changed or not and I really don't understand why they need changes in domain model every week.
F**g cto, decide domain structure first and then tell your team to start implementing it.
Other thing, when ever I ask tatti any doubt about any field is needed to display in UI or not because it is removed or added in domain model, he fucking chutiya starts explaining me whole project instead of just telling yes or no.
I don't care what your fucking backend does. Just tell me what is needed or not. And also he is not sure whether to keep that field or not even he had made that change.
He tells, "ha ye field chahie (after 5 seconds) , nahi wese to hum kahi use nahi kr rhe, ye sirf furture ke liye rkha tha use hta do (after 5 seconds), ek kam kro Mr xyz(another back end developer) se puch lo"
Fuck you maha tatti. And due to this i left that project and switched to other.19 -
When you are so angry about something you slam your fist on the keyboard, break the Enter and surrounding keys, rush to the closest shop that sells keyboards, fail to buy one because they're all too shit, come home and end up fixing your keyboard, then get even more pissed off because you had already gotten excited about that new keyboard, and end up writing shitty comments for shit you haven't even finished yet because you're too pissed off BECAHSE EVERY FUCKING THING IN THIS WORLD IS FUCKING BROKEN AND SHIT. AND NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE AND MY LEG IS ITCHY FOR SOME STUPID FUCKING REASON!
17 -
I am now a Cloud Hosting (Windows and Linux) Reseller. I kinda feel like giving away some free accounts to the devRant community. But it can't give away too many accounts, so I probably won't because I don't want to exclude anybody. 😭
25 -
I always find it more productive to have at least two ongoing projects at once.
That way, if I get stuck on a bug/frustrated with the first project, I focus on the second and more often than not, when I go back to the first project I realize that I had made a dumb mistake and keep going.2 -
Good Windows reseller hosting plans are hard to find. These guys want to charge me $20 per year just for an extra 1gb of webspace.
Get fucked.
21 -
Successful startup message on my friends discord bot:
Yo
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti.
Bot Ready.
😂
https://github.com/nbd9/PastaBot -
Fucking shit fuck! Absolute cunty-chops of a Work phone just went off at 3am because our directory has clearly been leaked.
This cunt right here is on 24/7 fallout so I can nae silence the bastard. It’s going inte do not disturb for the evening now but.
About 6 months to a year ago we started getting nuisance calls on the cunts. On floated numbers that seem geographically close.
Work have done fuck all in this time, because considering changing ours is a pain in the dick, and costs.
But tonight at 3am I got another; call, immediate hang up on redial.
This wee iPhone prick is looking at me like “ho! Got ya ye fucker”... it’s lucky it’s not been punted out the winde where it belongs. Little fucking prick.
If I look like shit tomorrow at the office, if any prick decides to mention I look tired, I’m gonnae tear the ballbags a new hole between their baws and their arse.
It’s now 4am, sorry fe the language, my Glaswegian heritage shines through at this time in the morning.5 -
Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|
You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!4 -
!rant
Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?3 -
Me: Should be able to refactor this viewModel in a couple of hours.
Me 7 hours: Ye fuck these 28 other build errors right now.1 -
Don't you just loathe the moment when you are about to paste something you just copied, you have the text to replace all highlighted and shit...
and then you accidentally accidentally hit Ctrl-C instead...
FML4 -
Here Ye, Here Ye.
There end is near!
Microsoft announces the GOD DAMN FUCKING END for Internet Explorer 11 in 2022.
Let's all celebrate this happy day 🍻
https://blogs.windows.com/windowsex...
5 -
Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/
We need an upgrade.1 -
Sitting in my backyard, trying to mentally troubleshoot some coding issues in the fresh air, and I hear my neighbor say, "...she was picking her bum before..."
Back inside I go.2 -
I don't know man.. I know it's !dev, I just wanna share with ye how beautiful my first Tomahawk steak turned out..
Relatively stressful week with requirements doing U-turns and 5 requirements all becoming first priority, I had my first feckup in a while (nothing bad, just wasted a couple people's time) and now I started off into the weekend with this beauty..
100% Irish grassfed beef with a glass of Redbreast 12. Now I wanna sleep and digest.. OR drink much more whiskey. Not sure yet.
Enjoy the long weekend guys 😬
17 -
That oh shit moment when you just installed arch and exit your root shell after creating a new user for yourself only to realize that you didn’t add yourself to sudo group.
*logs back in as roo——*
*password incorrect*
*tries again*
*password incorrect*
[repeat about 5 more times]
Fuck.
So apparently I made the SAME typo twice while setting the password and then the first login was a lucky third typo in a row.
Gotta reinstall now. Glad I didn’t have any desktop environment installed yet.12 -
Just had an old coworker from a previous job send me some stuff for a php script he was having issues with.
There was too much glory in what he was trying to do: mixing php inside of jquery code, not using strict types would have prevented like 10 issues he was having on his script on another portion, mixing headers, weirdly named variables, poorly constructed, reused db connections, 0 oop or proper dependency management in his code, horrible use of sessions and cookies, O (n²) logic all over the place.
But the cake.....are y'all ready for it? It was code screenshots, not even of just the section, no, the full page, from a windows machine (to make it better he is hosting the application on an IIS server and his configuration was not properly set) but I digress, back to the cake:
He was writing his code inside of wordpad :P
FUCKING WORDPAD
I just politely told him that I was busy at the moment and happily ignored him. Dude is not a good person to begin with imo, for example, he brought the subject of homosexuality during one of our talks after he saw me talking to my bf, who just so happens to be gay, his statement was "I do not understand how there can be gay people when there are women that are so hot"
My comeback was "I do not understand how we can be heterosexual when there are some really attractive dudes out there, see how stupid your logic sounds? attractiveness is not the basis for homosexuality ye dipstick" he let it go after that, but close minded people like that are not really my cup of tea.14 -
Pet-peeve: fellow devs who think scoffing/dismissing/not-my-probleming before actually understanding the issue is a sign of intelligence; newsflash: you are being lazy, disagreeable and unprofessional.1
-
"four million dollars"
TL;DR. Seriously, It's way too long.
That's all the management really cares about, apparently.
It all started when there were heated, war faced discussions with a major client this weekend (coonts, I tell ye) and it was decided that a stupid, out of context customisation POC had that was hacked together by the "customisation and delivery " (they know to do neither) team needed to be merged with the product (a hot, lumpy cluster fuck, made in a technology so old that even the great creators (namely Goo-fucking-gle) decided that it was their worst mistake ever and stopped supporting it (or even considering its existence at this point)).
Today morning, I my manager calls me and announces that I'm the lucky fuck who gets to do this shit.
Now being the defacto got admin to our team (after the last lead left, I was the only one with adequate experience), I suggested to my manager "boss, here's a light bulb. Why don't we just create a new branch for the fuckers and ask them to merge their shite with our shite and then all we'll have to do it build the mixed up shite to create an even smellier pile of shite and feed it to the customer".
"I agree with you mahaDev (when haven't you said that, coont), but the thing is <insert random manger talk here> so we're the ones who'll have to do it (again, when haven't you said that, coont)"
I said fine. Send me the details. He forwarded me a mail, which contained context not amounting to half a syllable of the word "context". I pinged the guy who developed the hack. He gave me nothing but a link to his code repo. I said give me details. He simply said "I've sent the repo details, what else do you require?"
1st motherfucker.
Dafuq? Dude, gimme some spice. Dafuq you done? Dafuq libraries you used? Dafuq APIs you used? Where Dafuq did you get this old ass checkout on which you've made these changes? AND DAFUQ IS THIS TOOL SUPPOSED TO DO AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT MY PRODUCT?
Anyway, since I didn't get a lot of info, I set about trying to just merge the code blindly and fix all conflicts, assuming that no new libraries/APIs have been used and the code is compatible with our master code base.
Enter delivery head. 2nd motherfucker.
This coont neither has technical knowledge nor the common sense to ask someone who knows his shit to help out with the technical stuff.
I find out that this was the half assed moron who agreed to a 3 day timeline (and our build takes around 13 hours to complete, end to end). Because fuck testing. They validated the their tool, we've tested our product. There's no way it can fail when we make a hybrid cocktail that will make the elephants foot look like a frikkin mojito!
Anywho, he comes by every half-mother fucking-hour and asks whether the build has been triggered.
Bitch. I have no clue what is going on and your people apparently don't have the time to give a fuck. How in the world do you expect me to finish this in 5 minutes?
Anyway, after I compile for the first time after merging, I see enough compilations to last a frikkin life time. I kid you not, I scrolled for a complete minute before reaching the last one.
Again, my assumption was that there are no library or dependency changes, neither did I know the fact that the dude implemented using completely different libraries altogether in some places.
Now I know it's my fault for not checking myself, but I was already having a bad day.
I then proceeded to have a little tantrum. In the middle of the floor, because I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT CHANGES WERE MADE AND NOBODY CARED ENOUGH TO GIVE A FUCKING FUCK ABOUT THE DAMN FUCK.
Lo and behold, everyone's at my service now. I get all things clarified, takes around an hour and a half of my time (could have been done in 20 minutes had someone given me the complete info) to find out all I need to know and proceed to remove all compilation problems.
Hurrah. In my frustration, I forgot to push some changes, and because of some weird shit in our build framework, the build failed in Jenkins. Multiple times. Even though the exact same code was working on my local setup (cliche, I know).
In any case, it was sometime during sorting out this mess did I come to know that the reason why the 2nd motherfucker accepted the 3 day deadline was because the total bill being slapped to the customer is four fucking million USD.
Greed. Wow. The fucker just sacrificed everyone's day and night (his team and the next) for 4mil. And my manager and director agreed. Four fucking million dollars. I don't get to see a penny of it, I work for peanut shells, for 15 hours, you'll get bonuses and commissions, the fucking junior Dev earns more than me, but my manager says I'm the MVP of the team, all I get is a thanks and a bad rating for this hike cycle.
4mil usd, I learnt today, is enough to make you lick the smelly, hairy balls of a Neanderthal even though the money isn't truly yours.4 -
The only documented case that “have you tried turning it off and in again” is confirmed not to work
8 -
ALMOST HALF AN HOUR SPENT TRYING TO LOG INTO MY FUCKING RASPBERRY PI OVER SSH.
you know what the problem is?
I’m not gonna tell you because I want you to feel the agony too.
> be me
> want to set up a nextcloud instance on pi to play with
> boot up
> ssh pi
*enter password*
*password incorrect*
^tries like 60 more times with different things
> pulls HDMI out of PC
> connect to pi direct
*please login*
*enter password*
Hackerman_voice_im_in.mp3
Wtf.xml
> check the logs
>try login from phone
Fuckyou.jpg
>Tries resetting password
Fuckyou-final.jpg
>tried logging into other pi
Fuckyou-final2.jpg
>*wtf’s harder*
Andthenithitme.png
>type @ sign
Pi: “
> OHHHHHHH5 -
Expectation: I'm going to spend today debugging my app
Reality: adds 10 new features, 30 got commits and some Easter eggs. No bugs fixed. -
Building on my last rant, a friend told me that resizing the partition caused the blocks to be no longer aligned, whatever tf that meant. So i adjusted the partition table and reboo—-
Grub: OHAI THERE, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO USE A GRUB RECOVERY SHELL? NO? WELL FUCK YOU BECAUSE HELP ISNT A VALID COMMAND HERE. FIGURE. IT. OUT.10 -
Hit udemy, Google for any new technologies, attend large conferences, and simply spend 30 mins to an hour each day coding in anything new - and of interest.
I have to keep up with the young people, to keep my job/career alive, heh.1 -
Me: Let us make this little update to our android app
Google: It looks like you didn't open Android Studio for few days.. Well, ye have to update all the environment.. TATAAA !!!3 -
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It doesn't matter. Its a hardware problem not a software problem...1 -
So... as a follow-up to my previous rant (https://www.devrant.io/rants/899731)
I happened across this today and started giggling internally.
Enjoy
1 -
WOOO THE NEW YEAR IS GOING SO WELL!
I just published my first pull request to someone else’s repository WOOOO5 -
OKAY
WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS STUPID ANDROID EMULATOR.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS LISTEN TO MY MUSIC WHILE PROGRAMMING
BUT NOOOOOOO
WHENEVER THE FUCKING EMULATOR IS OPEN THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC IN MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES GOES TO aBsOluTe SHIT.
CMON GUYS. GET YOUR HEADPHONES OUT OF YOUR ASS AND TEST YOUR FUCKING SOFTWARE12 -
Anyone else think favoriting a rant should give the author some extra ++ or a counter in their profile?2
-
Starting new game development project.
Coder:" ok guys, I think that this time we have to focus much more on sprints management and documentation"
Designer:"Ye, this time we should use better scrum software, like jira or youtrack"
Artist:"but Asana has the unicorns when you complete a task"4 -
Not as much of a rant as a share of my exasperation you might breathe a bit more heavily out your nose at.
My work has dealt out new laptops to devs. Such shiny, very wow. They're also famously easy to use.
.
.
.
My arse.
.
.
.
I got the laptop, transferred the necessary files and settings over, then got to work. Delivered ticket i, delivered ticket j, delivered the tests (tests first *cough*) then delivered Mr Bullet to Mr Foot.
Day 4 of using the temporary passwords support gave me I thought it was time to get with department policy and change my myriad passwords to a single one. Maybe it's not as secure but oh hell, would having a single sign-on have saved me from this.
I went for my new machine's password first because why not? It's the one I'll use the most, and I definitely won't forget it. I didn't. (I didn't.) I plopped in my memorable password, including special characters, caps, and numbers, again (carefully typed) in the second password field, then nearly confirmed. Curiosity, you bastard.
There's a key icon by the password field and I still had milk teeth left to chew any and all new features with.
Naturally I click on it. I'm greeted by a window showing me a password generating tool. So many features, options for choosing length, character types, and tons of others but thinking back on it, I only remember those two. I had a cheeky peek at the different passwords generated by it, including playing with the length slider. My curiosity sated, I closed that window and confirmed that my password was in.
You probably know where this is going. I say probably to give room for those of you like me who certifiably. did. not.
Time to test my new password.
*Smacks the power button to log off*
Time to put it in (ooer)
*Smacks in the password*
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Whoops, typo probably.
Do it again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
No u.
Try again.
I N C O R R E C T L O G I N D E T A I L S.
Try my previous password.
Well, SUCCESS... but actually, no.
Tried the previous previous password.
T O O M A N Y A T T E M P T S
Ahh fuck, I can't believe I've done this, but going to support is for pussies. I'll put this by the rest of the fire, I can work on my old laptop.
Day starts getting late, gotta go swimming soonish. Should probably solve the problem. Cue a whole 40 minutes trying my 15 or so different passwords and their permutations because oh heck I hope it's one of them.
I talk to a colleague because by now the "days since last incident" counter has been reset.
"Hello there Ryan, would you kindly go on a voyage with me that I may retrace my steps and perhaps discover the source of this mystery?"
"A man chooses, a slave obeys. I choose... lmao ye sure m8, but I'm driving"
We went straight for the password generator, then the length slider, because who doesn't love sliding a slidey boi. Soon as we moved it my upside down frown turned back around. Down in the 'new password' and the 'confirm new password' IT WAS FUCKING AUTOCOMPLETING. The slidey boi was changing the number of asterisks in both bars as we moved it. Mystery solved, password generator arrested, shit's still fucked.
Bite the bullet, call support.
"Hi, I need my password resetting. I dun goofed"
*details tech support needs*
*It can be sorted but the tech is ages away*
Gotta be punctual for swimming, got two whole lengths to do and a sauna to sit in.
"I'm off soon, can it happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah no problem someone will be down in the morning."
Next day. Friday. 3 hours later, still no contact. Go to support room myself.
The guy really tries, goes through everything he can, gets informed that he needs a code from Derek. Where's Derek? Ah shet. He's on holiday.
There goes my weekend (looong weekend, bank holiday plus day flexi-time) where I could have shown off to my girlfriend the quality at which this laptop can play all our favourite animé, and probably get remind by her that my personal laptop has an i2350u with integrated graphics.
TODAY. (Part is unrelated, but still, ugh.)
Go to work. Ten minutes away realise I forgot my door pass.
Bollocks.
Go get a temporary pass (of shame).
Go to clock in. My fob was with my REAL pass.
What the wank.
Get to my desk, nobody notices my shame. I'm thirsty. I'll have the bottle from my drawer. But wait, what's this? No key that usually lives with my pass? Can't even unlock it?
No thanks.
Support might be able to cheer me up. Support is now for manly men too.
*Knock knock*
"Me again"
"Yeah give it here, I've got the code"
He fixes it, I reset my pass, sensibly change my other passwords.
Or I would, if the internet would work.
It connects, but no traffic? Ryan from earlier helps, we solve it after a while.
My passwords are now sorted, machine is okay, crisis resolved.
*THE END*
If you skipped the whole thing and were expecting a tl;dr, you just lost the game.
Otherwise, I absolve you of having lost the game.
Exactly at the char limit9 -
My code be like:
Call the method cronk...
WROOOONG MEEETTTTTTTHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!
*climbs out of alligator pit*
Why do we even have that method -
So, these guys came to me at work, asking if I knew how the "Low Orbit Scanner" worked...
I said: "no, what's that?"
They said: "It's that tool used for DDoS attacks"
So I replied: "Oh you mean Low Orbit Ion Cannon"
them: "yea that, you know how it works?"
me: "ye, but what do you want to use it for?"
them: "just want to learn how it works"
me: "you download it, run it then fill out the things?"
them: "but I tried it and it doesn't take out the server I tried"
me: "Means your PC is to much of a filthy casual, buy a new one"
them: "can't you help us getting it more effective"
me: "yes, but I rather not end up in jail... I have a job and a clean document..."
The looks of their faces, love to see that disappointment of my colleagues when I say (or atleast hint): "go figure it out yourself"1 -
FUCKING HELL!
I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.
Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh1 -
Ubuntu: Lulz your trackpad drivers don't work and there's no solution other than compiling them yourself or something it might not even work because it's for a different model but just hope and pray ok? also your wifi obviously fucking won't work. What, are you retarded?
Manjaro: Ye I gotchu. Mouse works outta the box. WiFi too10 -
That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.
Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...1 -
> be me
> be developing a react native app
>realize the iPhone X notch is clipping your content on the first/home screen of the app
>google says: simple fix
>find a built-in react native thing to add safe area padding
> refresh the app
> ohno.png
> the other screens with navigation bars already have built in padding
> TOOMUCHPADDING.jpeg
> remove safe area thingy
> finds a clever, not particularly hacky way to pad the home screen without showing the header bar by setting its height to 0 and the color to match the content background
> more-problems.app
> there’s a small 1–pixel light colored line separating the header from the content clearly breaking the otherwise continuous single color background
> google.sh
> wtf.txt
> stackoverflow.html
> no responses except something I’d already done
> keep experimenting
> tries basically everything to figure out where that line is coming from
>sets borders to thicccc and bright red
>no bottom border? Ok that’s not it
>opacity?
>forgetaboutit.mov
>try shifting the header position around by a few pixels? Maybe it’s misaligned with the white parent layer underneath?
> nope.jpg
>it’s past bedtime
>Sleep.jpg
>thenextday(today).zip
> what about the content? Is that misaligned?
> nope2.jpg
>Maybe its an iOS feature not a react thing?
> make a test Xcode project, completely native to test
> negative.dng (pun intended)
> more-furious-googling.mp3
> find a native iOS stackOverflow question with the same issue (1px line)
> realize your Xcode test wasn’t done properly.
>atleastimmakingprogress.iso
> start looking into the SO post
>it’s native so I have to find out how to do it in react-native
>invent a bunch of style parameters that don’t exist in the documentation to see if there’s an undocumented thing
>loadsaloadsaerrors.log
>googles for a react native version of the iOS only SO post
> somethingpromising.tar.gz
> *tries it*
> “Haha nope” -my code
> whataboutthisotherthing.bin
> KENSISHSBUCNEGWISBVSIDNRVSIDNFIRJRBDKFNFIDJFIFKFNR
> HOLY FUCK
> IT WORKED
> AFTER TWO FUCKING DAYS OF SHITTERY AND SHENANIGANS
>AND MANY STACKOVERFLOW EDITS TO A NOW VERY MESSY POST
>THEREISNOMOREBORDER(final).zip
>*screams of relief*7 -
I am become gradle
destroyer of builds
look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair
Why can't zip/tar tasks work like copy tasks? Whyyyyyyy?
I got it working--abusing tasks.create--but hot damn this should be easier. -
Soooo I have greatly underestimated the value of the shit you can learn in Kaggle, both from the projects that people do and from the learning section that they have. I wouldn't exactly classify them as beginner level or for complete newbies.
By default, if you wanna go and learn about ML then be trady to have some mathematical background to at least the level of Linear algebra, statistics and some basic calculus, everything else can be learned as you go along.
But ye, shit is fucking cool man, they have sooo many cool projects in it. I learned from academic shit in uni and a fuckload of books, but i dig this approach sooo much more.
10/10 would kaggle again2 -
Finished my first year of Software Dev. today. It's been tough but I got through it. Does the questioning of this career path ever stop?5
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I read an article that says stress balls are far less effective for stress relief than punching your PM on the face.
They should have included a warning... -
Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.
Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..22 -
!rant
I have been lurking around here for about a month. Finally decided to write about how devRant motivates me. Whenever I read stuff I don't understand it makes me realize I've got so much more to learn. Happy new year :)1 -
I DROPPED MY HARD DRIVE ENCLOSURE WITH MY ONLY BACKUP ON IT ONTO BRICK AND NOW IT MOUNTS.
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING7 -
To you who enjoyed the Gif/Jiff, Sequel/EsQueEll, Git/Jeet grandiose debates, comes the new phonetic conundrum: DevREnt vs. DevRUnt. Soon, in monitors near you.6
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That moment when: you lift your gaze from your phone to understand the sudden quiet is because your expert opinion is needed in the meeting.
-
So instead of drinking shit like Pepsi Max while coding on a weekend, and since it's so hot lately, I thought I'd buy a blender and some fruits and make frozen fruit drinks.
After unpacking the blender, I notice a booklet with a few recipes.
All I can say, is, ":/".
I'm thinking about making a frozen watermelon and peach drink right now. What do you guys like to drink when it's really hot (besides coffee)?
12 -
Bug report:
iOS 10 (latest) + iPhone 6
Can't scroll past initially loaded rants on algo screen
Also, love the new tag picker...14 -
I am a good person. I can even say I am a good programmer. I have worked hard to get where I am and that shows perseverance. Although, where I am right now is not what I expected, I am somewhere. I can do something. I have good intentions.
Someday, I will build software which will be used by millions of people around the interwebs. And they will love me, for I will have made their lives better....in some way. Some will even consider paying me for it. Not because the well placed and non intrusive donate button I put there, but out of pure adoration and bare necessity to preserve someone as brilliant and precious as me. I shall be the definition of success. But I long for neither adoration nor wealth, for I am humble or at least that is how I will be perceived.
Like flies to the honey my success will attract big evil corporations to acquire my business. And I shall spit on their wretched face....at first. I would like to be wooed. Such display of integrity shall inspire generations of programmers. Let ye be inspired. There will be those who envy my achievements and they will be mocked and shunned by my true believers. But being the kind soul that I am, I will bring back my minions, for it could a PR nightmare.
All these events will take place in a not too distant future. Sure, I am going through a dark time now, it will pass. 'tis nothing but me transitioning from a lame ass PHP coder moth to this totally badass software engineer who is also a cool bro. This eclipse of my brain shall pass. My neurons will fire in all directions like photons from the sun during late winter, for it may overheat and we definitely don't want that.
I pray to the gods of engineering to grant my wishes. Trust me guys, you will be thanking yourselves when donate my money to charities that will help me set up. But that's another scheme. Amen.4 -
Follow up to the follow up rant: ubuntu broke.
I tried searching for my git client I had installed: not found.
: Git status
Command not found (even though I’d used it less than an hour earlier)
*restart to see if that fixes it*
My laptop: STEP RIGHT UP STEP RIGHT UP LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL TTY LOGIN SCREEN WITH NO GUI WHATSOEVER. THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH.4 -
My first rant. Woohoo!
Honestly I do the whole shebang ussualy depending on what the needs are from network to servers to coding because for some reason nobody has any technical experience where I work.
I just started app development for a gamedev startup and I am in sheer awe of the amount of transpiling/compiling etc that needs to be done for an multiplatform app for iOS and android with js(x)/typescript, html, css.
I remember when I could just write some spaghetti code to make it working by following a couple of tutorials. Then refractoring and testing it for a couple of hours and be done with it. push it into production.
Now I am lost having to learn OOP, functional programming, reactjs, react native, express, webpack, mongodb, babel, and the list goes on and on...
Why not just make a new backend that does all of that in another language which supports all of that.
I have no formal education in programming/coding and the last time I learned JS it was just some if else, switches and simple dom manipulation.
I just want to get to coding a freakin' game but I have to learn JSX for the front and typescript on the backend.
I am this close to going back to ye ol' lamp stack and quitting this job. 😥5 -
WHAT COCKSUCKING LUNATICS DECIDED TO MAKE A PDF ONLY ABLE TO DOWNLOAD WITH JAVASCRIPT.
I CANT DOWNLOAD YOUR FUCKING PDFS TO SIGN BY TONIGHT BECAUSE ALL I HAVE IS MY IPad. WHICH DOESNT FUCKING HAVE JAVASCRIPT
THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE TO USE JAVASCRIPT AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THEM. GO CASTRATE YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY KNIFE5 -
In follow up to my last rant.....
A friend just informed me that I should enable dhcpcd to get networking in arch...
I was typing dchpd......
why don’t I read things more carefully
I’ve been at this for hours and I just installed ubuntu alongside arch because I need my laptop for tomorrow. Ugh -
I wonder how many electrons have dedicated part of their existence so I can watch cat videos on YouTube...1
-
I just know the "Ye" From old english was supposedly read as "The" -_-
I thought "Ye Ol' Barn" Was read as "Ye Old Barn"5 -
Been asked to give a lecture to the freshmen at ye olde alma mater.
They are gonna pay for the air ticket, the shuttle to and from campus and a couple nights at a fairly ok hotel.
Feeling like a fucking rockstar.
...
Gave the lecture. Only half those kids spent the whole time on their phones. My old drinking buddy and now a professor at the school said it was more direct attention than one could expect at a music concert.
...
Feeling kinda scared about how young women dress nowadays, but I do am an old indian dude, so what do I know?
Also, since when is lifting weights and running a half-marathon a requirement for a degree in computer sciences? Turing might have been an Olympian, but I'm pretty sure that since the invention of the integrated circuit my people have spent more time in labs than in gyms. That is not true for those kids.
Maybe it's a freshmen thing, and they will age out of that healthy living nonsense. Maybe the real world will crush it under bills and tuition loan repayments.
...
Tried to ask the university for a refund of the hotel and taxi bills that I've paid out of pocket. Two hours in four different queues and two opposite-sode-of-campus buildings. Suddenly remembered the true meaning of the word "Kafkaesque".
...
Remembering the old uni days with some still-in-grad-school / faculty old friends and getting drunk in the old watering holes? Priceless.2 -
TL;DR: Microsoft updates break drivers, make unbootable. Hours wasted. Such rage.
Lol. I come home, try booting my windows desktop. Need desperately to play some videogames. Power is on. Monitor lights up. Bios splash. Windows startup spinner.
Suddenly, windows startup spinner gone, monitor shuts off. Wait 5 minutes, no change. Force power off and reboot, same behavior.
Google says it's probably a bad video driver. I don't remember installing any in the last month, but heck I don't use this computer for shit outside of games, so may as well do a full OS reinstall and hope the problem drivers are gone.
Reboot and force power off halfway through boot to let windows know something's wrong next boot. Literally no other way to get to alternate boot methods.
Run the reset. First time, percent-counter starts. I leave the room at 30% to go get a sandwich. Come back and it says it's "undoing changes". Something went wrong and I have no way of knowing what.
Oh well, I'll just try again and see what the problem was. NOPE! Completes windows reinstall without a hitch on the second attempt.
Okay, now let's get my stuff back on here. First things first, Microsoft updates for my processor, graphics card, "security". Halfway through the updates, monitor shuts off and I'm back to square one. IT WAS THE MICROSOFT DRIVER, NOT THE ONE FROM NVIDIA GEFORCE EXPERIENCE!!!!
Fucking Microsoft. To all ye who rail against Linux as a gaming platform because of its unstable drivers, observe here the stupidity of Microsoft and weep.3 -
The later I Stay up, the more wrappers appear next to my computer in the morning...
Funny how that works....1 -
I love cats more than dogs.
Despite being domesticated, cats remain true predators with true predator skills and the pedigree that comes with them. The evidence is your local government mandating house cats should wear bell collars to warn birds, as they threaten their extinction otherwise.
Modern dogs are mere scavengers that live off people and eat trash. They evolved to be cute by tilting their heads. Dogs aren't useless, mind you, I just like cats more.
But both dogs and cats are dwarfed by YE MIGHTY FROGGE. Frogs are the most fascinating and magnificent creatures to ever roam this troubled planet, maybe rivaled only by orcas. Frogs are the best. They're also the cutest, especially when touching a small yellow one can kill an elephant.11 -
Yay finally summer started
Ye no fuck that
After being "migrated" into a newer smaller office and getting another team member we are now three people on about 5 square meters of space.
Another good thing is that we don't have an air conditioning unit in the new room and gained a few more PCs.
Oh and did I mention that we are on the sunny side of the building now.
Basically we are working in Satan's Asshole now. Good thing is that I am working on a thermometer now.
35 degrees Celsius is still alright isn't it?
Oh and our fan broke today.3 -
So my current PC is named the tesseract for its power and squareish case shape.
I just had a thought that if I ever seriously upgrade it or build a new PC, I should name it Thanos...2 -
what the fk how hard can it be to have a working version of the software on the master/ ros-version branch? Why is this thing always broken?! HOW?!
Had to update today unfortunately, and man, I have been "installing" this shit for over 3 hours now. Use the .install they said. It will be fast they said. Ye sure, my ass. The Dependencies are broken and incomplete as always and the tutorial is not up to date. Big suprise. I get it, it's a lot of work to keep these things up to date. But please if they are this broken and incomplete why are they released in the first place.
And then they wonder why I don't manage to do my work on time. Yeah, cause I'm stuck debugging this shit <.<'1 -
When the monthly scrum retrospective reaches the 90 minute mark...
You know when people are being stress tested and they break by getting up, run around screaming and ultimately knock themselves unconscious by running into a wall?
That. I felt like doing that.
I swear someone activates some sort of gravity well when these meetings begin because time beings to stretch on and o........n....... while they meetings happen.
I began to list things I think I'd rather be doing than be in that meeting.
1) Tax returns.
2) Prostate exam (not old enough to need one yet but at least I'd be out the meeting).
3) Visiting the dentist.
4) Assembling IKEA furniture.
5) Watching soccer at least they have the decency to give you a break in the middle and I find sports as engaging as a dog turd on the sidewalk.
So bored was I that I began to notice notches and holes in the ceiling tiles and when I remarked upon them others became engrossed in them and began to speculate upon their origins.
I don't know who a speaker is, what department they are from, what product they're working on or what's so important about the algorithm they're working on. There is no context, no explanation and half way through a show and tell I had to check we were still in a show and tell.
I was bored shitless. I actually felt physical pain from boredom, I've not felt that way since I was a child.
I really, really hate that scrum is implemented in this way.
It left me with only half an hour of coding time left and really it sapped my energy and motivation to the point where I just went home early.
Excuse my language, but:
Fucking bloody cunting waste of time, I've had more productive moments in the restroom. They need to piss off or committed seppuku, ideally both. Dante got it wrong the seventh level of hell is this. I'm usually a very calm and balanced individual but yesterday, yesterday I just... Fuck! Argh! Fuck you meeting, fuck you.
If you are the type that schedules meetings like this:
May a thousand Jabberwockies plague your nightmares and be it that the next seventy seven times you lay with a human shall ye experience bitter failure! I hope Cthulhu himself visits his "enlightenment" upon you and you fear sleep henceforth.
I'm bringing a rubix cube or juggling balls into the next meeting so that I can say at least I learned something and it wasn't time wasted.3 -
Found parody lyrics written by Chris Frederick entitled “I Program In C” to the tune of Billy Joel’s “I Go To Extremes” and felt like there should be a sung version of it out there... so here ye be: https://smule.com/p/...6
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One time, we picked up a Xamarin project and both Android and iOS teams had to pick a developer to handle it. After talking over it with my iOS bro, I decided that I hate C# far too much to start a project on this, even though I wanted a new experience, so iOS bro took over it. I got handed another iOS project in the meantime. iOS bro decides to take a free week from work after like a month or so of working on that project.
GUESS WHO DECIDED TO COME OVER AND WORK WITH US THAT WEEK? THE OWNERS OF THE PROJECT (they were handling the API). Guess who had to drop all projects at once and work for a whole week on a project he had no idea about in a programming language he only had a remote idea about? THIS GUY.
So, aside from the fact that I had no idea what I was doing, I also had the pressure of the owners working right next to me (they were cool people, but it's still a stress). That week really raised my stress level through the roof, as I doubted myself everyday that I would be able to be productive on that project. I got myself a free week too after that.
But yeah, this experience really made me doubt my skills as a programmer, as Xamarin was supposed to be just a cross-platform way of developing an app.
All in all, I've never had to work on that project again... but it was still an "I can't fucking believe it" moment when, one month-ish later, the project was to be scrapped and reprogrammed on ye olde Swift.1 -
I feel like moving to Sachsen/Germany for dev job might not have been the best idea.. sometimes it can get a bit annoying because of all xenophobic people.. anyone else from Sachsen here?9
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i hate you, you and you AHHHHHH
This doesnt have to make sense.
This is a freakin rant for god's sake, not a pull request. I'm not tryna be the best ranter?? Dont mind this rant. Just scroll. B if u can only hear my scream right now from the other side of the world, it sure can cause another big bang.
F u, this sht, (oh ya it's profanity, i got no better term for what im feelin, gahh please rip my head off) and that too, and this one too, all of u
I HATE ALL OF YOU. I BLAME ALL OF YOU FOR ALL MY INCONSISTENCIES. YE, IM TIRED OF TAKING ACCOUNTABILITY. F THAT SHT COZ IT JUST RAISES EXPECTATIONS. I CAN'T EVEN MEET THE DEADLINES I SET FOR MYSELF.
The hell are ambitions and all that "dream life" they tryna sell. Those won't even matter when I can barely get my sht together. UGH. I haven't even seen my friends, the SUN, trees and all normal people things. Dang, I want fried chicken. I haven't had one for a while. I guess I should end this rant here and order one.
I must just be hungry, no?3 -
if anyone was wondering..... the oneplus 7t is pretty good.
it has been acting splendid thus far. Before this i had the s9 and even tho the phone was great i just changed it on account of me being spoiled as fuck.
but ye, great phone9 -
Ok people told me to make a collision library...um really stupid question but I’ve never tried that or thought of it. Thank you in advance but does anyone want to point me toward some nice resources... THANKS also I did ye classic aliases sudo to fucking2
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!rant
I recently came across gitlab (ye, because of the bad news). And I was wondering what are some good points to make me use gitlab? I mean, it is basically the same as github. Just younger.7 -
If you write an editor or input field, and do not respect our Ctrl+Backspace expectations, I will turkey-slap yo ass, bitch.
-
Anything from Udemy with instructors who don't speak CLEARLY, and instructors who fail to provide solid code explanations (ex: they just type some shit and expect us to understand what it's doing, and they move onto the next topic).
Add instructors who pretty much copy a tutorial verbatim - they just go through someone else's tutorial (without referencing the authors' work) and claim it as their own.
I'm sure I have more to add, but I'll stop here. :P3 -
Wk88 i basically see "I'm a beta that belittles myself, because everybody else seems to be so much better than me.."
While I certainly know how it feels, that mantra & mindset will lead to void or null.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and life's a bitch that'll keep ya down if you let it.
It's gonna be rough, but ye gotta stop calling yourself inadequate and start working on honing your skills.
No great feat happens over night, it takes practice and dedication.1 -
That moment when: you realize your team has introduced a fatal flaw and lacks the foresight to understand it. The countdown has begun.2
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What is DevRant's business model? It's a really great community, and I'm interested about how it's monetized (or plans for the future)4
-
OH MY GOD REFACTORING FEELS SO AWESOME
I just finished spent 4 weeks of crazy busy summer camps and I get back to a project I was working on.
Refactoring.gif
It feels so awesome to just effortlessly move stuff into methods and have it work pretty much first time.
To be fair I’m the only one working on this right now so I pretty much already knew the code but still holy cow it’s so much simpler now.
Moral of the story: Appreciate your time off and use it to unwind and let your mind wander to more creative heights before taking advantage of it after and only after you get back to the project1 -
Alot of hacks around here!
An extract of some of those:
-Couldn't time the shutter right when photographing lightning. Used my oscilloscope to measure its electrical influence and anytime a peak is detected, it actuates the shutter.
-Using a lock as a heatsink for a overheating display driver ic.
-Hacking two USB ports together to get more power.
-Display module was too tall with header pins. Moved its back components to the main board and soldered the module flat onto it by flowing solder down its connecting holes.
-Not me but still interesting: Back on ye olde times when paid tv contained a disruptive H or VSYNC signal only their paid tv box could filter, my electronics prof. analyzed it and built the required comb filter on his own. Even sold some on the black market. -
Client be like:
Pls, could you give the new Postgres user the same perms as this one other user?
Me:
Uh... Sure.
Then I find out that, for whatever reason, all of their user accounts have disabled inheritance... So, wtf.
Postgres doesn't really allow you to *copy* perms of a role A to role B. You can only grant role A to role B, but for the perms of A to carry over, B has to have inheritance allowed... Which... It doesn't.
So... After a bit of manual GRANT bla ON DATABASE foo TO user, I ping back that it is done and breath a sigh of relief.
Oooooonly... They ping back like -- Could you also copy the perms of A on all the existing objects in the schema to B???
Ugh. More work. Lets see... List all permissions in a schema and... Holy shit! That's thousands of tables and sequences, how tf am I ever gonna copy over all that???
Maybe I could... Disable the pager of psql, and pipe the list into a file, parse it by the magic of regex... And somehow generate a fuckload of GRANT statements? Uuuugh, but that'd kill so much time. Not to mention I'd need to find out what the individual permission letters in the output mean... And... Ugh, ye, no, too much work. Lets see if SO knows a solution!
And, surprise surprise, it did! The easiest, simplest to understand way, was to make a schema-only dump of the database, grep it for user A, substitute their name with B, and then input it back.
What I didn't expect is for the resulting filtered and altered grant list to be over 6800 LINES LONG. WHAT THE FUCK.
...And, shortly after I apply the insane number of grants... I get another ping. Turns out the customer's already figured out a way to grant all the necessary perms themselves, and I... No longer have to do anything :|
Joy. Utter, indescribable joy.
Is there any actual security reason for disabling inheritance in Postgres? (14.x) I'd think that if an account got compromised, it doesn't matter if it has the perms inherited or not, cuz you can just SET ROLE yourself to the granted role with the actual perms and go ham...3 -
I read the other day that tech companies are trying and failing to make chips smaller and faster by reducing transistor size.
Yet Apple does this with ease. You know how?
They remove or REDUCE the number of transistors to make it smaller.2 -
- Hey, could you help me understanding your method? I'm trying here to implement it on my side but it doesn't work
- I'm not at home right now and don't remember the code i wrote. I will look at it when i get back home
- Ye but can you explain it briefly?
- I JUST FUCKIN TOLD YOU I DONT REMEMBER IT EXACTLY, I AM NOT AT HOME AND I DON'T FUCKIN HAVE THE COMPUTER WITH ME. WHAT HE FUCK WAS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?2 -
It has been 3rd week since QA env isn't working, because of some problems with infrastructure and I still cannot convince the client to move all apps to the cloud. He still believes that Azure or AWS will be less reliable than theirs IT. Ye right...just image that your VM is down for 3 weeks on AWS...
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CEO: I want the design to be *gibberish*, lemme see it when you're done, ye?
Marketing: Just do it this way, it looks neater. *Deletes 10 lines of code*
Lead Dev: Intern. What the f*#% are you doing? Rewrite that *points to HTML divs*
Me (intern): What am I even doing here? 😂 -
Suddenly, I've seen a lot of face revealing going on (tho most of em are older posts)...
I'm sitting there like: "ye... one can google my username once and see most about me..."1 -
Prank on me: at an Avaya training, my instructor decided to take over my desktop terminal screen and override any text I typed. I was like, WTF?! I thought my terminal was corrupted or something. Heh. I heard her laughing behind my back, and I gave her the evil eye stare heh. That's when I also learned about hacking terminals and how much fun that was. :P
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Is it just me or is everyone thinking the binary ++ counter is a good idea?
I think it’s really cool because it sort of hides the number of ++ you have behind a wall of laziness. Like people probably aren’t going to convert every score and I personally just look at the length of it as a rough estimate of how upvoted a user is.
I think this really helps eliminate the “likes contest” that can come with other social media. (And as a result reduces spam that is posted/reposted just to get likes)
Anyone agree? Disagree?5 -
Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
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I FIGURED IT OUT! PAYPAL EXPRESS CHECKOUT NOW RESIDES UNDER BY REIGN. HAIL ME I'M A FUCKING GENIUS FUCK YE I LOVE PAYPAL HELL THE FUCK YEAH! fuck carrots though
-
When your peers lack the technical depth to promote their ideas, you bet they're honing their social skills in those confidential 1-on-1s.
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When you put bread in the toaster then start programming and forget about it.
*finds it 6 hours later*
Ooh! Free food! -
And so behind the great purge...
If all the accounts I have signed into with my Yahoo email address...3 -
That moment when you realize you have to deal with git now because you have a habit of “changes now, git later” and also like commits to be clean and free of notes you leave to yourself that aren’t meant to be there after the feature is done
Fuckkkdkdkdkfkkf -
Spent an hour trying to optimize some code but none of the stuff I was trying (rearranging/overlapping DMA transfers with other stuff for some ye olde concurrency) seemed to be doing anything.
Aaand obviously the stupid thing was set to autobuild Debug config on save but I was testing Release config. Sigh.1 -
Never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence.
-Hanlon’s Razor
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/... -
tfw when you request for a nice feature and the devs respond with: "ye, we don't care even the slightest, do it yourself"...2
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When shall ye use a framework or when ye shall code all it self?
That's a question I shall ask all ty devRanters for ye who has the knowledge of programming would be kind to share to all others.3 -
What happened to that trans-Atlantic devrant stress ball project? Is there a website for tracking it or something???2
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I feel like writing stuff down is like a HDD, too slow. I'd rather record my notes some other way, much faster...2
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Server Error Caused by: javax.servlet.ServletException:
Error Message: No message available with status code 500
Does this qualify as the best error message, ever? -
So our software clubs discord bot went rogue and deleted a metric ass ton of messages
This is what I get for testing in production. Fml1 -
People that commit large binary files to subversion... sigh...
(Banging head on desk waiting for binaries to finish downloading)2 -
!rant
Any hololens or virtual reality / augmented reality developers here?
If so, mind sharing "lessons learned" experiences with VR / AR programming?3 -
If I made a website that was like a fill-in-the-blank for writing documentation, would anyone use it?
I'm trying to justify spending my time doing this.5 -
A.I. Hacker. :P
Some big corps will hire me to hack the AI systems.
Option B: beach bum for life. And enjoy the low stress. -
I find it funny how if a programmer has a problem, she/he makes a solution.
This is probably why there aren't as many other communities as there are developer communities. -
I wish there were local boot camps. Sucks to travel to SF or some major city and pay for flight, car, etc, when others can attend since they're right there.
I would attend more of these if cities within a 2 hr drive could host them. -
MS developers be like : "Ye we are working on Windows. Ya we are the best devs in the US"
But in fact, they pass more time otpimizing ads number seen by user rather than actually fixing bugs and doing a great OS26 -
Whenever someone comes to me with an idea that will "make tons of money" i ask them if they have any concrete proof that people are interested in their idea.
If they say no, I point them to the pdf book on the downloads page of pretotyping.org1 -
Recently I completed a whole year in programming. Holy jebus, I have no idea I could make it through.
I started thinking I was "decent" at this because I had taken a half dozen courses in python plus some algorithm logic in school lol @ innocent me
I'm an applied math student and I hereby declare I was the most incompetent dude you'll ever see.
I've been through so much shit I didn't realize I had a shitty boss, because one would think it's normal for a beginner to approach everything in programming because I was told to do so. Full blown restful apis, stateful redux react apps with responsive CSS using Google's material design. Don't forget to dockerize everything and deploy the swarm on Amazon cloud all the while having to run integration unit tests, make sure all the rules on your nginx are correct we don't want exposure do you know how to write a visualization tool on JavaScript so we can 3d-fy some x-ray prints and good luck balancing tight schedules with your school and girlfriend ye right lul
My manager would ask me to deliver new shit to an app I was developing mostly by my self in react (I barely even knew what RFC or ES6 was by the time I started).
I got fired from this project because I couldn't deliver by myself what 5 experienced dudes could (debatable, but still... Cuz they couldn't when they took over. Boss wanted to rewrite the whole app in a week and a half)
Turns out I got called back by the same company but to contribute in another project. This time to automate some shizzle with python.
Feelsgoodman but I want out ASAP can't stay sane for longer -
While you developers are where you are, battling office politics everyday, scrumming, agiling and solving some of the world's toughest problems, I, for the past few nights, have been sitting for hours in-front of my computer, slipping into hour-long day-dreams while trying to determine my favorite ice-block flavor.
All I can say, is, it's either the yellow, orange, green, raspberry, cola, or the fairy-floss one.
And now I'm out of ice-blocks. ;-( -
!rant So as I have posted before that I decided to give python a lash and I'm actually really enjoying it. I'm now doing an app everyday on python for 30 days. Yesterday I made a CLI app that shows the weather in an area (thanks open weater) now today I was thinking of doing another a to do app using mysqlite but I feel its kinda been overdone, I'm sure ye all know what I'm talking about. Have any of ye have any ideas of little apps I could do?2
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Question for all the security/privacy nerds here. What is your opinion of the social network called Minds that pays you for your information basically.
(This is a very brief probably inaccurate summary but yeah, it’s basically reverse Facebook)1 -
FUCKING STACKOVERFLOW ASSHOLES.
This guy answered my question on security.stackexchange.com with an answer showing he clearly doesn’t understand that I’m asking if my RAID1 setup constitutes an appropriate backup. (I know that sounds stupid, I can post a link if anyone wants to see the specific circumstances).
I FUCKING KNOW RAID ISNT A BACKUP BUT THIS GUY IS LIKE “RAID 1, or mirroring, is definately [sic] considered a backup in corp IT”
Go suck a dick.9 -
I work at a school. I saw a kid walking in my building whistling pumped up kicks the other day. Felt a lil bit uneasy to tell ye the truth. Said good morning to him and nodded in approaval to the song. Just to be on his good side in case he goes batshit crazy. Still uneasy.
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Given the recent #deletefacebook movement and everyone deleting their Facebook accounts for privacy reasons, I must ask. Is LinkedIn any better than facebook? How much do you guys trust them with personal information?9
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Docker is giving me grief... again. Sigh.
I have a feeling docker hates me, just doesn't want to play nice.1 -
Has anyone heard of pretotyping? I recently read the PDF on their website (www.pretotyping.org I think) and it seems to make sense for small indie apps.
Thoughts?4 -
When everything is taken away from you, and this might not happen for a very long time, just remember that you surrendered every ounce of control of your life over to those whom have been out to fuck you over since before you were born.1
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Ok, I'm curious to know, who is the person who has been in devrant the longest?
Comment the date that you joined if it is earlier than the last person who commented.5 -
I’ve seen so many rants on here about people wanting things for free for whatever reason.
While devrant is great, I think this is the best rant on the subject ever.
https://youtu.be/7yFFBBFqe-E5 -
My least favorite part of the world is the engrained habits within society (for lack of a better word).
These habits can be pretty broad but since they are so widespread, it makes it hard for people who value their privacy to stick to their beliefs and go against them.
Examples of this are like saying no to giving away some information, or asking for someone to delete something like a photo of you. Society is trained the other way. Society is trained not to be privacy aware and therefore reacts in a way that puts massive pressure on those who want to keep themselves more private.
I’m sure a lot of you are familiar with this already. Any tips? -
Making CD-Extra discs, because apparently some people still use ye-olde CD players and others want MP3s.
What a magical world I live in. -
Think I'm being punished here...
first, the windows 10 update screen showed up... waited for that shit to finish... once finished, I thought, "that wasn't bad..." Then, THIS next screen shows up... "you've got to be kidding me!" So, it's punishment for not having opened the laptop in a while. :P
Yeah, it will be a wish come true, when Microsoft figures out how to do all this in the background... or something... so it's not painful to wait for updates to complete.
End of rant for the day.
2 -
The Code Abyss Beckons! 🤯
Hey fellow devs, brace yourselves for a wild ride into the chaotic realm of code confessions and debugging dramas! 🎢💻
So, here I am, standing at the precipice of my latest coding adventure, armed with a keyboard and a questionable amount of caffeine. 🚨☕
Today's quest involves unraveling the mysteries of a legacy code that seems to have been written in a language only decipherable by ancient coding sages. 😱📜
As I navigate through the nested loops of confusion and dance with the dragons of runtime errors, I can't help but wonder: Is this what the Matrix feels like for developers? 🕵️♂️💊
In the midst of my debugging odyssey, I stumbled upon a comment in the code that simply said, "// Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." 🏴☠️📛 Well, isn't that reassuring?
And then there's the moment when you finally fix that elusive bug, and you feel like you've just tamed a mythical creature. 🦄✨ Victory dance, anyone? 💃🕺
But let's not forget the rubber duck sitting on my desk, patiently listening to my monologues about algorithms and existential coding crises. 🦆🗣️
So, dear coding comrades, how's your journey through the code abyss going? Any epic wins or facepalming fails to share? Let the rants flow like a river of improperly closed tags! 🌊🚫
May your semicolons be where they should and your documentation be ever truthful. Happy coding, and may your merge conflicts be swift and painless! 🌈🤞
#CodeOdyssey #DebuggingDrama #DevRantChronicles
9 -
What if you could hack devrant or go back in time and write all of the posts in the all-time section of "top rants"...
While (true) {
Rant_points = Rant_points*2
} -
Why the fuck doesn't anything work anymore? I signed up for a service the other day and paid for it, and now I can't even log in. And the support is fucking useless. And now I have a cold. Fucking great.
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Does anyone have suggestions for privacy respecting payment services?
I currently use PayPal and Venmo but I don’t really trust PayPals business practices and am investigating other options.
any suggestions ?15 -
What is the best build/dependency manager? I've used gradle before but is there anything else that anyone would recommend ?6
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https://m.facebook.com/story.php/...
WATCH NOW THANK LATER. (It’s rubber duck related)
Sorry about the Facebook video4 -
"combination of upper and lower case letters, numbers and symbols"
Someone please change the devrant terms to encourage more secure passwords...
(Yes, I actually read* the terms and conditions)
* half of
7 -
Does anyone have recommendations for a good offsite backup solution that’s like student-level cheap (or preferably free) that allows you to keep control over your data (I don’t want to upload my stuff to google drive or the like for privacy and government surveillance reasons as I’m sure @linuxxx would understand).9
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Not sure if a valid cause for a rant; but my memory stick went bad after being used for just 6 months. Bought this memory kit this summer on computeruniverse. Now Windows reports that there are damaged pages on the 1st stick; though the 2nd stick is fine. Patriot Viper with small heatsinks...
What to say... In ye olde days DDR3 worked for years and never went bad 🤔1 -
How do people check code quality during interview process online? I believe I write a very good one after 9years+ experience but never got passed...
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Kanye West grew up with a loving mother. The relationship between between him and his mum is so strong that I am jealous. Too sad some much didn’t grow up around so much love.
Just finished jeen-yuhs on Netflix.1 -
I am super frustrated and don't have the energy to translate into a general language so here goeas some hinglish venting:
bc bosses ne leni deni kr rkhi hai... itna badhiya relaxed hoke chutti se wapis aaya tha, 2 din me mood ka bhosada kr diya apni harkato se.
yes, bosses , saala systummm chal rha h boss pe boss pe boss ka.
sardi me saare velle huye pade hai to harr aadhe ghnte me meeting le rhe h.
almost saari team ne aukaat dikhai hui hai , koi 5 din ki chutti pe to koi 7 din ki chutti pe, to jo mil rha h bs usi ko pele jaa rhe hai ye ppt ke chode.
mereko ek feature banane ko diya hua h... saala har cheez pehle idhr udhr delegate krke 15 din ke kaam ko 45 din ka bana diya, ab release deadline pass hai to meeting pe meeting rakh rhe h . bhosadiwaalo , meeting rakhne se tumhare baap ka code tumhari maa likhegi?
upr se thand bc.... itti thand me kon tumhare tatte chaatne office jaa rha h? jo jaa rha h usi ko bulao mereko ghr pe rajai me kaam krne do. saala gaand sookh ke aadu ho gyi h thand se, nd inhe fir bhi metro se 2 ghnte lgane ke baad banda office me chahiye . team me bs 7 lund h(technically 5 lund and 2 !lund) nd unke se 5 bahane maar ke ghr pe baithe huye h... ek langoorni manager aa jati h apne boss ke boss ka hilane... nd expect krti hai mai bhi aake saathme hilau. mereko nahi hilana yaar :'(
4 gnte to travel me waste krwa do, parking space maango to bolenge ki tumhara band level kam h, office me inka wifi vpn ke saath apni maa chudata h 2kbps ki speed se . emulator gaand marvate hai, nd fir bhi inhe banda chahiye office me nd feature ready chahiye 2 din me.
agar khud gaand me ungal nahi dete , to inki policies gaand me ungli krti h... saala 9 bje app le saare dev server band... oh maiiyavo din me 5 ghnte meeting rkhne ke baad tumhe lgta h ki koi kaam hua hoga.. nd bande ko khane hugne mootne me bhi 1-2 ghnte chale jaate h ghr pe... ek to tumhara time waste ko compensate krna chah rha hu apni marzi se raat me kaam krke, but tumhari gaand me usse bhi keede hai... to rote raho bc. meri jhaat tumhe degi festure banake Christmas se pehle.. bhupp
saala kachha utaar ke khol ke baith jaata hu, aake saare bosses ekek krke meri maar lo5 -
Open Ye Olde Dev Shoppe, where we hand-code artisian programs that AI could make, except slower, and for twice the price. And where we also serve coffee made by a human barista.
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