Sit down before you read this.

So I interviewed a guy for a "Support Engineer" internship position.

Me and the team lead sit down and are waiting for him to enter, but apparently he's actually making a coffee in the kitchen.

This isn't exactly a strike since the receptionist told him that he can go get a drink, and we did too. It's just always expected for him to get a glass of water, not waste 3 minutes brewing a coffee.

In any case he comes in, puts the coffee on the table, then his phone, then his wallet, then his keys and then sits on our side of the table.
I ask him to sit in front of us so we can see him. He takes a minute to pack and tranfer himself to the other side of the table. He again places all of the objects on the table.

We begin, team lead tells him about the company. Then I ask him whether he got any questions regarding the job, the team or the company . For the next 15 minutes he bombards us with mostly irrelevant and sometimes inappropriate questions, like:
0: Can I choose my own nickname when getting an email address?
1: Does the entire department get same salaries?
2: Are there yoga classes on Sundays only or every morning?
3: Will I get a car?
4: Does the firm support workspace equality? How many chicks are in the team?
5: I want the newest grey Mac.

And then.. Then the questions turn into demands:
6: I need a high salary (asks for 2.5 more than the job pays. Which is still a lot).
I ask him why would he get that at his first job in the industry (remind you, this is an internship and we are a relatively high paying company).
He says he's getting paid more at his current job.
His CV lists no current job and only indicates that he just finished studying.
He says that he's working at his parent's business...
Next he says that he is very talented and has to be promoted very quickly and that we need to teach him a lot and finance his courses.

At this point me and the team lead were barely holding our laughs.

The team lead asks him about his English (English is not our native language).
He replies "It's good, trust me".
Team lead invites him for an English conversation. Team lead acts like a customer with a broken internet and the guy is there to troubleshoot. (btw that's not job related, just a simple scenario)
TL: "Hello, my name is Andrew, I'm calli..."
Guy: *interrupts* "Yes, yes, hi! Hi! What do you want?"
TL: "Well, if you let me fi..."
Guy: "Ok! Talk!"
TL: "...inish... My internet is not working."
Guy: "Ok, *mimics tuning a V engine or cooking a soup* I fixed! *points at TL* now you say 'yes you fixed'".

Important to note that his English was horrible. Disregarding the accent he just genuinely does not know the language well.

Then he continiues with "See? Good English. Told you no need to check!".

After about half a minute of choking on out silent laughter I ask him how much Python experience he has (job lists a requirement of at least 1 year).
He replies "I'm very good at object oriented functional programming".
I ask again "But what is your experience? Did you ever take any courses? Do you have a git repository to show? Any side.."
*he interrupts again* "I only use Matlab!".

Team lead stands up and proceeds to shake his hand while saying "we will get back to you".

At last the guy says with a stupid smile on his face "You better hire me! Call me back tomorrow." Leaves TL hanging and walks away after packing his stuff into the pockets.

I was so shocked that I wasn't even angry.
We both laughed for the rest of the day though. It was probably the weirdest interview I took part at.

If I could impress girls with my Java skills, I would still be single.

Calls himself web guru... all he does is WordPress

I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]

If you do all your development in the MASTER branch, do not call yourself a git "Guru".

How stackoverflow works(for me):

- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.

This is called a true happy ending.

If you couldn't work any more as a coder / programmer / hacker / it-master-guru, what would your profession be?

Like, not your ideal profession, but the most likely thing that you would end up doing outside of the dev world.

So I have this best friend who is almost 10 years younger than me. (I'm turning 40 this month). He's a full stack web dev, nodejs-god, react-maniac, you name it. He fucking LIVES to code the most amazing shit I have seen to date.

I, on the other hand, am that old, little overweight PHP coder webdev with a shitload of experience in that field (17th year now), also with linux webserver administration and all the JavaScript knowledge I need in m job.

Sitting next to him and doing some fun coding sessions always makes me feel like I am that "slow, fat kid in class"... while he is the coding master.

Sitting at work (marketing agency) where I started as the new webdev 10 months ago, I still feel like the coding guru because even the web 'developers' don't know jack shit yet (coz they never had to).

It's fine, they are learning and want to learn.

All I wanna say that even though one might be seen as a senior dev by some, he might sometimes feel like a junior dev when he's around others.

This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"

Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.

A very experienced PM/WebDev came to us. His resume was fantastic but a bit strange. He wrote he had been working for 15 years but his experience in C# was 18 years. Though I was sceptical about this guy, others expected him to be a .NET guru. So, the interview began. The candidate described his brilliant career, then he said he wanted to move forward as a programmer and work with the newest technologies. It wasn't easy to ask him basic questions but they were in the list, so we needed to start with questions for juniors. I asked him to tell us about value types and reference types, and the answer was: about what? I repeated the question, and he said he didn't know about such complex things. I knew his resume was strange but I was disappointed. It turned out that our candidate didn't know C# at all.

WEB FUCKING THREE

Ok, some of this shit is interesting, let's get that out of the way:

Crypto - great for doing illegal things, great for financial speculation, interesting mathematically. But as likely to replace actual currency as I am to replace the fucking Queen.

NFT - should be written on the headstone of humanity. Entirely fucking useless, planet-roasting bro-wank dressed up as a revolution in...pretending to own shit. The only difference between a Bored Ape owner and my nephew pointing at a castle and insisting that it's his, is that he isn't thousands and thousands of pounds out of pocket by doing so.

Metaverse - AR and VR have been around before this dogshit rebrand, and they'll outlive it.

No, it's not that. It's that we now have a new species of parasite - the "Web3/Metaverse" LinkedIn guru insisting that this shit is even needed, let alone the next big thing.

Web 2.0 was a stupid fucking term alright, but it did represent a new generation of technologies that were badly needed, and adopted by the entire community. Web3 is a bunch of shit that some cunts think they can get rich off, so insist that we need. I wouldn't even give a fuck but I've already spent hours of my life explaining to clients and peers that this is UTTER FUCKING BOLLOCKS, there's no need for a blockchain in your app, there's no need for a blockchain in virtually anything. Yeah if you want some fucking 3d in your app or your page I'm your man, but if you keep saying 'metaverse' I'm going to fill it with easter eggs.

None of this shit was needed before and none of it is needed after. Have you looked at web3 games? It's Steve Buscemi asking 'how do you do, fellow computer games?', it's a fucking gambling app pretending to be something a human would do. Clash of Clans and Candy Crush already cornered the market for that type of fucking mug, right now you're making the Candy Crush business model look responsible and efficient. You CUNTS.

Watching a guru do Linux terminal shortcuts.

I never understood the appeal of Steve Jobs to other people, and had never bought an Apple product until about six years ago.

However, after buying a couple of Macbooks - including ones, circa 2012/2013, on eBay - it's very obvious that the quality has shrivelled into oblivion after his passing.

If I was to credit him with one thing, Jobs was the ultimate QA guru with long lasting products as his top priority.

Now, Apple sells glue machines and Steve Jobs would be clean slating the entire list of employees - from the top, down - if he was alive to notice how little the company seemed to care about what he had planted as the seed, many years ago.

>First grade
Teacher: This is a Keyboard, this is a mouse... blah blah blah
Now play Mario!

There was also some space racing game or something installed on the computers. We weren't allowed to play that game, so of course, we did what we weren't allowed to. It was always fun to sneak in a game when the teacher wasn't looking or wasn't around.

We were also taught MS Paint. I "painted" a squirrel in one of the lab sessions, the teacher loved it and showed it to everyone. Everyone applauded and then I became the MS Paint Guru (for them). Fun times..

Indian Product Management community is the shittiest community for any professional domain.

Everyone is just focused on being a guru preaching shit to others when they themselves no nothing about the function or possess any significant skill(s) to perform at their job.

A bunch of bozos, themselves struggling to stay afloat, are saving others. Fucking hilarious.

What makes this worse is that the entire community is so inclined towards "cracking the interview" and landing a job.
Instead what they should be focusing on is teaching them younglings what the role is and how to develop the right skill set. More importantly why the role exist in the first place.

That way, they will automatically land a good gig and solve critical user problems.

No wonder, most products these days are bloated with garbage and PMs are only focused on engagement, retention, and more fancy buzzwords which make absolutely no sense.

Seriously? What the fuck

Today a junior dev from the company I'm working at as consultant, suddenly shouted:
😤"why the hell my software behaves differently on every pc here in the office ... But it works on my machine? I'm sure there's something wrong with the OS/Framework"

🤔 let me think for a moment ...
* is it because the whole office keep developing like the ancient romans did?
* is it because that software is such a mess that requires a wizard in order to manually change all the magic configuration strings ?
* is it because every damn developer there has his particular environment and the word "container" reminds you only the show where the people bid for unclaimed shit ?
* is it because the "guru" at your company decided it was a super cool idea to wrap EVERY single external library (that just works out of the box) into some obscure static helper without even a single trace of documentation and clue of what's wrong?

🤗"I don't know... Must be a bug in the OS or framework for sure"

This rant has been boiling for a long time now so please bear with me. Here it goes.

A slight introduction of the lady working in my office. She's a soft spoken person who works for like 2 hours a day at max (rest of her time goes on surfing facebook etc).

NOW WHAT FUCKING GRINDS MY GEARS IS THAT SHE FUCKING THINKS SHE KNOWS HOW TO "CODE" ONLY BY KNOWING HTML!! FML

She claims of being a Social Media Expert, Digital Guru. But, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE GOOGLE TAG MANAGER!!

MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY GETS RUINED BY EVEN INTERACTING WITH HER!!!!!!

So I am the resident Linux Guru and a contract manager asks me who wrote rm. I guessed and said Dennis Ritchie.

"I thought you were the UNIX Guy" he says. He goes on to claim that Robert Morris wrote it and named it rm after his initials. ... In front of the whole team he did this. Ok.

Did some research and even contacted Robert T Morris at MIT ( his son) and he pointed me to a sight with documentation from the initial UNIX research at Bell Labs where his dad did in fact work with Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson. Turns out, I was right.

PSA to /[devs who things it's a good idea|management who thinks it's a good idea to force your devs]+/g:

There currently exists 1543 (and counting) top level domains. My email addresses follow the pattern: /^[a-z]+@panduro\.guru$/ and I die a little inside whenever I get told my email addresses aren't valid because you thought it was a good idea (to force your devs) to hardcode "valid" top level domains. There is a reason why the filter for input type email does not include top level domains.

And you can't even begin to comprehend how mildly annoyed I get when I message their support and tell them what the problem is (because I'm nice enough to do that) they instead of telling me "thanks for informing us we'll look into it" they tell me "well just get a gmail or something". I should not have to order social status reducing items with my school mail (especially not since I'll loose that email ¾ pairs of years)

Code comments #1: A way to document bad code that wasn't reduced to it's essentials and thus unreadable. Bad.

Code comments #2: A way to explain for non-programmers how the code works. Wrong place.

Code comments #3: Company policy. No one really knows why, but others do that, so we better do it to. The management sucks.

Code comments #4: Because some hip methodology/guru describes how to document code. After a few years, when the methodology has been (unofficially) forgotten, everyone still comments the code the same way. The old management sucked.

Code comments 5#: For insecure programmers who want to convince them self they understand the code they've written. Maybe apply at McDo?

Code comments #6: Some programmers are apparently paid by lines of code. Possibly understandable.

// Comments, anyone?

when you run lighthouse on some tech "guru" with 50K subscriber's website and can laugh when they don't even have alts on images

hahahahahahahaha clowns

to be brutally honest, you need to know the basics before attempting to teach anyone anything, i don't care how boring it is

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

Today I was working in a university studyspace. Some girl noticed my dark theme IDE, running some tests and such and assumed that I'm a computer guru. She then asked me if I could help her with MS Excel or MS Word. To which I answered "sorry, no". She might've just been trying to start something with me, but that was a deal breaker hahaha (seriously tho, if I were in a better mood I would have helped her)

My Linux guru showed me Varnish cache

We need to normalize not being a passionate CS guru. You can be good at your job and not have passion for it. You don't have to dedicate your life to your career in every facet.

I don't expect plumbers to sit around their house all day during their free time hooking up water lines. Why is it expected that I'm always reading some dev book or learning some new framework or reading some tech blog?

I do other shit, and that's fine. My job earns me a paycheck and I'll improve on the clock, and when I walk out at the end of the day I leave that shit there.

At most I might converse with you informally about tech but I'm not going to spend my little free time going to meetups and pretending like I care more than I do. If you do that's great, but I'm not you and that's fuckin fine too.

>Installed a new graphics card (thanks santa <3)
>Boots into Ubuntu
>Try to SSH. No route to device.
>Log in locally. "Failed to start raise network interfaces"
>ok.
>find out that installing graphics card renamed enp2s0 to enp3s0.
>ok.

The best part about being a junior developer is meeting veteran developers.

For example, my friend's father is an old world Linux guru. I've known him for a really long time, but never understood why he lived in a mansion.

Every time I see him now I make a point to bring up some small Linux thought. He always responds with some ridiculous history lesson about the origin of a command or how he still uses a regex alias he wrote 15 years ago.

Deleted accounts could have a skeleton/corpse as the picture.

Adding "no offense" in the tags just to be a bit polite.

If I hear one more time from any manager at my company that we’re a “family” I’m gonna vomit

Welcome to this week's episode of "sudo-woodo tries to get a single Python script merged", starring...

•The software architect so senior they were working here while I was still in pre-school. Wasn't added as a reviewer and was completely absent on this project for two months but came in on this PR with a few questions, including questioning design decisions they agreed on the last time they saw the project.
•The QA lead with ten years of experience... in Java. Has never even touched Python and asked to review, only for every issue raised but one stemming from not knowing the language.
•The CI guy. A script guru who will find a problem with literally anything. Honestly the most helpful person of the bunch.
•My coworker. Hasn't said anything yet.

please send help

Retard alert..

So just got email from my potential investors - saying they are not interested. This is my second major failure this year.... I spent my every dim on developing the prototype.
Now I am dead broke and unemployed.
I have sent 10 job applications - gotten no reply.
Open Freelancer account (fiveer, upwork, guru).
Yet no gig.
I am slowly going into depression.
Please can someone help me and give me a damn gig or job.
I still believe in my entrepreneurship pursuit but right now, with zero money to do anything, I just want a job damn.

I work for a programming / design studio / tech and new solution company. We do all kind of new tech inventions.
Everyone is a tech guru, except my boss who don't know one single programming language, don't know even how to format a pc, never finished his school..

The other day we asked me how to change his phone ringtone..

Back then, I was just about a "computer guru" and friends would often ask me stuff about hardware.

One of them came to me and asked if I could make a website. I accepted despite knowing nothing about html, css, js or PHP.

I then hopped on a tutorial about html and css, and pretty much learned the basics of html in a day, then added some css and got introduced to PHP "as a way to prevent yourself from copy pasting the same bits of html everywhere".

Turned out the client wanted a CMS, which I couldn't do, then I decided I would go to a design/it school. Before finishing my 'studies' (accelerated apprenticeship), I already landed my today's job. As I'm not a "real dev" (more a self taught guy), I'm learning stuff everyday, and today I am comfortable with back end and front end web development

Code is addicting, even more than gaming!

PM: I’m not asking what you were doing, I’m asking what was done
me: losers are asking, champions go and do it. This is what I did. The only thing I hear from you is questions. Meanwhile leaders are always a part of the answer. With that loser mentality, you’re never gonna be an MVP.

I’m a neural network powered parrot with a supercar brain. No matter the business guru speak BS you throw my way, I’m gonna wipe the floor with you in your own game. You have no chance. You’re that mediocre type of person who buys a rolex, the same one Gary V has, with the hope it would fix your self-confidence. The only thing I see in your eyes is your shattered ego.

Once a guru of mine told me,
"A developer is one who can convert his/her ideas to code and doesn't need to depend on external libraries to help him/her"

His words actually have made me a different person. I mean since that day, I actually started developing things on my own. Until then I was hardly good at coding. Wasn't even clear with the basics. But those words of his had a deep impact on me.

Today I suddenly started thinking about that and honestly, I'm so glad to have met him. I'm so glad that he actually said the above thing to me.
Today, I'm at a position where I can legit build anything I want.
From websites to bots, I make my ideas come to life. All thanks to my guru.

Just thought this might be a good thing to share to motivate others. If it motivated me, I'm sure it might motivate atleast one other person in this community.

Be a GitHub guru.

Well shit, now I (re-)learned C,
And all I want to do is program in C,
But all C jobs are like -
"C guru that merged to Linux kernel"
"Driver writing low level must know Assembly"
"Military-grade realtime hardware design"

Isn't there a C job that's like Python - "here I wrote this script in 5 minutes and spent the rest of the day playing Eve Online" :D :D

Just graduated university and got a high paying internship (well, high paying to someone whos never been paid) in my field of chemical engineering, feeling quite lucky

Cant wait to upgrade my PC, it was a beast when I built it in 2012 but nowadays running chrome and android studio is enough to make it commit suicide

Goals for 2019:
Publish my first android app
Learn web development
Become an AWS guru
Not spend all my income on PC parts

Ive watched a bunch of web development crashcourses/trends and (comming from desktop appplication development) omfg what a nightmare mess of confusing stuff but alas i shall prevail or die trying

jQuery gurus

Guru meditation eh...

Hi Guys,

Has anyone used websockets in their projects?

Want to know what problem did it solved and what kind of project it was ?

Well, they are just fucking kidding
Unix guru on entry level... That moment, when you realise that client is too lazy to pick option intermediate or expert, but expects somebody to do evetything

I was working in the field for about 6 years, and had my bachelors (working on masters). I went to Robert Half Technology looking for work, and the recruiter there said I didn't have enough experience (are you kidding me?) and that she couldn't market me.

I went to another office location 4 years later, and they hired me on full time (very unorthodox) as a consultant because 'I was a purple squirrel guru". (what ever that means)

The original recruiter at the other location now is forced to find positions and contracts for me without 1 ounce of say in the matter. If I am waiting on another contract, I get paid, it's like vacation. Makes it so much sweeter

Fuck start ups with large projects with no continous integration setup on git... and very many junior devs including the CTO(Not even a googling guru).... for fucks sake we cant deliver spaghettis as iF we are coding a restauRANT... fuck this shit load of a project....

One thing I truly fucking dislike about the development life is knowing about server administration. I think that the mental hurdle that is to develop a huge application, make a stable dev environment, learn all the tools, tricks, techniques, modern standards, processes whatever, detailing software engineering are way tf too much to also handle server admin shit.

We don't have anyone at work that deals with that, and as such my devs need to know how to do entire series of maintenance shit that just takes time and effort plus hours of notetaking and study. I mean I get it, they should know their way around a linux environment enough to troubleshoot issues that are related to the os when working with some tools, but fuuuuuuuck me man, setting up a server, even for the holy grail of easy (standard lamp stack) takes way tf too much.

Wish we could have a dedicated server admin in the team.

I know where my faults are, setting up servers is something that I know but just can't be assed with in terms of keeping up, I wish we had a devops dedicated server admin deployment guru cuz I really cannot stand losing hours doing this shit.

It also diminishes good s admins in value, "weLl ThE deVs caN do It" YEAH BITCH but wouldn't it be nice to have an expert concentrating on JUST THAT?

FUCK man

I came into work with a skip in my step and was actually feeling positive for once.

That all came crashing down when a guy I despise who has half the experience I do and even less seniority than I do got promoted above me before I did.

This guy is a talentless, boring, irritating hack who rides the success of others and does everything to glorify his ego. He shits on everything he doesn’t like and no one likes him. I guess that’s why he’s on the fast track to management.

I asked why I haven’t been promoted yet, despite being the technical guru on the team and having professional accomplishments that make his look silly in comparison. Their reason “well he comes in earlier than you”. Well guess what fuckers. I still get my work done and I stay later. Seriously, fuck this place.

This guy also worked with me on a past project. I use “worked” loosely because he did nothing but sit there and criticize everything while doing minimal code. When the company we were doing the work for folded he demanded to be paid his full portion, and I got jack shit despite having done all of the fucking work.

This guy...seriously...why do people who do fucking nothing get the glory? Why do I even fucking try?

I don't consider myself a guru in JavaScript (hell I studied theoretical chemistry), but I do hate much of the rationalization behind building a Jenga stack of libraries, frameworks, dependencies... for building everything web related.

Many of the problems I see people solving with these giant stacks could be easily solved understanding how websites work (html, css, js and how interact with each other) with no dependencies giving smaller (for end users at least) and more maintainable code (in the sense it would not require updating dependencies that may be discontinued...)

I do imagine situations where these are ideal... Since there are not absolutes and developing is very context sensitive, but man if I have js article fatigue for ridiculous scenarios.

I think some of my co-workers see me as real life human version of Google search engine.

Hope they would understand that just because I'm little bit more up to date in tech knowledge and an accidental Google nerd doesn't make me a know it all..

But i understand their tendency to trust my recommendation over their googling skills

They want me to find

1- best freelancing website
2- best platform or service for someone who wants to do online teaching

Results that I'm aware of:

1- freelancer, guru, upwork
2- YouTube, udemy, Pluralsight, skillshare, thinkific

Any other recommendations?

Adding guru or ninja to your LinkedIn job title is just peak middle class university graduate. Typically studied marketing.

I set my workspace with accepting the challenge in low budget, simple and gain the comfortness. I wanna listen to ur suggestion in order to improve this lovely workspace? Senpai, guru or master are called !! 🙏🙏

Some lady who is a marketting guru says she wants a percentage of my company added on top of getting a 30% of all licenses she manages to get.

Also she brought two friends who are good in PM and another trainee sales person

WHAT TO DO??? HELP

i only have a product, havnt sold anything but i pitched to them and they seem to buy the idea and have seen the working product

Hahaha if the vagrant box is in guru meditation mode then what mode I have to be in 😂😂🤣🤣

Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.

Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.

There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.

Saw this meme in an article the other day about why it's a bad idea to make your guru-grade devs quit.

It suddenly dawned on my that the meme pretty much summed up all the decent Devs i've worked with over the years - they generally turn coffee and beer into code.

hi, i have a question of a darker note, hope you won't mind.

How do you deal with monotony at work ?
The more experienced i get, the more my work becomes monotonous. I understand that it's impossible to know everything, but i feel as if there's not that much knowledge left for everyday work.
Sure there will always be new scenarios and more advanced/marginal stuff, but they don't appear that often.
i get depressed (not clinically, just very bad state overall) when i stop learning, which is why i've been strugling quite a bit recently.

i have ~3 years in web dev. So i'm not some kind of guru or anything even close, but this is the problem i have right now.

i've been thinking about switching languages or specialisation (i do enjoy DevOps/sysadmin work), but i'm afraid i'll have the same problem pretty soon...

Updated to iOS 12.1.2 (sleazy release 2) after previously getting fucked up the ass by iOS 12.1.2 first release. Yes boys and girls, they tried to cover up their latest fuckup by re-releasing the same release with a modification.

The first time I updated, it knocks my Apple ID out on all my Apple devices when I upgrade my iPhone to 12.1.2. Mother fuckers... gotta log back in for every device, iPads, iPhones, Apple TVs, Macs. And for each service iTunes Store, Messages, FaceTime on each device supporting. Oh yea, it knocks out my Wi-Fi calling and I have to reestablish that too. Then to really ice me, it knocks out my HomeKit system as the Apple ID is knocked out on the Apple TV.

Now after updating just my iPhone to the second 12.1.2 "sleaze release", the thing knocks all my devices out again.

Apple has taken away that which I loved; impeccable engineering and design that could be used as the model for an entire industry. The industry guru. (teacher, leader) Apple has become the new Microsoft.

October 5, 2011, the day Apple died.

The guy that influenced me the most was Pieter Hintjens. He came to train us about one specific technology and thrown away basically everything I was ever told and replaced it with something that made huge sense. He wrote several books, really recommend those even if some of them are more social than technical.

A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!

Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...

Serverless and death of Programming?!

_TL;DR_
I hate serverless at work, love it at home, what's your advice?
- Is this the way things be from now on, suck it up.
- This will mature soon and Code will be king again.
- Look for legacy code work on big Java monolith or something.
- Do front-end which is not yet ruined.
- Start my own stuff.

_Long Rant_

Once one mechanic told me "I become mechanic to escape electrical engineering, but with modern cars...". I'm having similar feelings about programming now.

_Serverless Won_
All of the sudden everyone is doing Serverless, so I looked into it too, accidentally joined the company that does enterprise scale Serverless mostly.
First of all, I like serverless (AWS Lambda in specific) and what it enables - it makes 100% sense and 100% business sense for 80% of time.

So all is great? Not so much... I love it as independent developer, as it enables me to quickly launch products I would have been hesitant due to effort required before. However I hate it in my work - to be continued bellow...

_I'm fake engineer_
I love programming! I love writing code. I'm not really an engineer in the sense that I don't like hustle with tools and spending days fixing obscure environment issues, I rather strive for clean environment where there's nothing between me and code. Of course world is not perfect and I had to tolerate some amounts of hustle like Java and it's application servers, JVM issues, tools, environments... JS tools (although pain is not even close to Java), then it was Docker-ization abuse everywhere, but along the way it was more or less programming at the center. Code was the king, devOps and business skills become very important to developers but still second to code. Distinction here is not that I can't or don't do engineering, its that it requires effort, while coding is just natural thing that I can do with zero motivation.

_Programming is Dead?!_
Why I hate Serverless at work? Because it's a mess - I had a glimpse of this mess with microservices, but this is way worse...

On business/social level:
- First of all developers will be operations now and it's uphill battle to push for separation on business level and also infrastructure specifics are harder to isolate. I liked previous dev-devops collaboration before - everyone doing the thing that are better at.
- Devs now have to be good at code, devOps and business in many organisations.
- Shift of power balance - Code is no longer the king among developers and I'm seeing it now. Code quality drops, junior devs have too hard of the time to learn proper coding practices while AWS/Terraform/... is the main productivity factors. E.g. same code guru on code reviews in old days - respectable performer and source of Truth, now - rambling looser who couldn't get his lambda configured properly.

On not enjoying work:
- Lets start with fact - Code, Terraform, AWS, Business mess - you have to deal with all of it and with close to equal % amount of time now, I want to code mostly, at least 50% of time.
- Everything is in the air ("cloud computing" after all) - gone are the days of starting application and seeing results. Everything holds on assumptions that will only be tested in actual environment. Zero feedback loop - I assume I get this request/SQS message/..., I assume I have configured all the things correctly in sea of Terraform configs and modules from other repos - SQS queues, environment variables... I assume I taken in consideration tens of different terraform configurations of other lambdas/things that might be affected...

It's a such a pleasure now, after the work to open my code editor and work on my personal React.js app...

Cool swags from A Cloud Guru :)

Yes ! @Julien00859, first time we met we talked about the fact I should start programming in Python.

I’m working 2 jobs at the moment, putting 12+ hours/day, been doing for about 2 months and I’m already burned out;
I’m working for a big e-commerce agency which is about to get bigger, doing mostly outdated Frontend work (Magento) with no sign of raises/promotions/ real growth, since all clients are basically enterprise and only want “ol’ reliable” over innovative.
A lot of smart people, lot of knowledge, pay is fair.

The second job I’m doing (part-time) is for a smaller agency in the same sector, pay is a bit higher, closer time zone and an opportunity to work with newer technologies.

I need to make a decision on one of these two companies since I can’t possibly keep working all these hours.
Is there anything else I need to consider before making a decision?

As a Frontend developer I’m getting a bit tired of working with Magento and its outdated tools, but at the same time seems difficult to switch to something different since I haven’t really worked with anything else, I feel a little bit lost

Does your bosses/managers also posting shit ton of pathetic buzzwords posts on LinkedIn (like: embrace, family, awesome organisation, very proud, guru, celebrating) and yet you know the organisation from inside and it's same corporate sh*t as everywhere else?

contrarian dev guru types are just losers who couldn't make it in industry or business with their (lack) of skills, but are so sour and embittered they continue to shovel their own garbage on everyone else

god its just so annoying "oh i do it only this way, and its the RIGHT way, you must do it this way"

this UI feature that literally exists everywhere else? "oh no those are bad, no one uses it and its not a best practice"

get the fuck out of my way, you're just slowing me down

Works on my machine

Being a "tech guru" person of the family, do you ever get unsolicited pics of gadgets?

The database dude: yeah it gets saved as a string.
*me sets up preg_match for a string*
Database 'guru': we tried entering the data in the form and we are getting an error. Fix it!

Turns out it's being saved by id.
Data wizards my ass

On my list:

* John Romero (id Software)
* Yukihiro Matsumoto (Ruby programming language)
* Donald Knuth (LaTeX)
* Gosuke Myashita (serverspec)
* Johan de Wit (puppet guru and my personal sensei that taught me a lot of things and also a good friend I cherish)

Because I dev, people think of me as a tech guru to consult on everything related to anything more tech than a stone.

Like guiding people on how to insert their ethernet cable when "the internet suddenly shut down".

headphone preferences and why? I'm currently using the AIAIAI TMA-2 (young guru) but I'm always on the lookout for good gear

Advice to new devs: be open minded and adapt to the way things are done at your new gig. Be humble, things that aren't the way you're used to aren't necessarily bad (even bracing style and editors). Have a guru and absorb all you possibly can. Don't be afraid of showing that you don't know yet.

(Note for dfox: I love this place and i would really like to have all my posts/ ++s/comment data available to me . Current system does not allow me to see posts more than some months old. is it possible? I hope devrant is not deleting old posts)
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Stream of thoughts coming through

#justAthought 1
If you feel you are mentally unique (Not in retarded or disable kind of way, but having a different view of thinking, a different perspective, not-a-sheep-in-a-herd kind of mentality) , then you PROBABLY ARE, its just those who are not that mentally unique will find your thoughts absurd until you are proving yourself to be a successful person.
Even though you feel something is wrong in a current situation, and you can put some valid points in your argument, there would always come a point where your personal failures or average-ness would overshadow your valid points (kind of personal experience than a thought :/ )

#justAThought2 (Disclaimer: i am no fraud guru or priest, just a 9-5 curious , sleepless student-cum-professional)
I sometimes feel that the only good, meaningful goal that i could think for my life would be : to earn enough money to set up a small experiment environment , where I would initially take, around 25-30 people for 1-2 years. It would be an environment with totally $0 value for materialistic things like money, jewels, property,etc . Everyone is living free of tensions of basic services like food, clothes, house, taxes, work to live etc. Together we all will be collectively doing just these things: Making ourselves healthy , and more kind, spiritual towards other humans, animals, plants and environment, and thinking of ways to eradicate the value of "value".
We have already reached a point where we are generating even more harmful Technology than useful tech, how about changing the way of thinking and taking a small pause? I know a lot of people would be reluctant to do any work in such environment, but i believe one day or another, every one of these people has to come back to their usual jobs , but this time, not for money but for humanity.
Do you think this kind of environment is possible for the whole world? Because today most, if not all thinks that money is the ultimate goal. can we change that, and would that change be good?

#justAthought 3 (Disclaimer : 1. Its my mom's thought/whatsapp status , i kind off liked it. she is super religious by the way ^_^! | 2. more relevant for india/multi religious countries 3. for Indians: kind of thought from movie "oh my god")

There should be a regional law during so called "acts of god"(floods, earthquakes, other natural disasters) under which the donations given to religious places(temples, churches, mosques,etc) would be used to provide relief to affected areas.

Common Man: How do you software developers earn so much? What's the secret of your success?
Software Developer: It's not a secret really. It's like any other job, we make sure we are always needed. So we create a mess and then get paid to solve the mess. How you ask? Software developers create the most complex and useful software. Since it's complex, others learn it and become part of the so called the few experts and then get paid tons as very less experts are there for the software and the creators of the software are also of course experts and in fact considered Guru, because, well, they wrote the complex software. They are geniuses, because it's so hard to write complex software. And many of these experts also create new tools to make the software easier to use, for newbies. They also write articles around it - explanations, tutorials, inner workings and gotchas, and also publish books and videos - in paid tutorial sites, and some videos on YouTube too.

Best freelancer microservice website you use with quality programmers?
We really are desperate on that.
We request some tasks and on most of the websites we don't even get an answer.
(We tried guru, Fiverr, people per hour and freelancer.com)

I've been seeing job ads saying they look for people who are "good at node.js" or similar (e.g. guru, expert...) What does that mean? I only use npm when I do my reactjs projects. Does that count?

Which is better for a digital marketing course in Gurgaon, Digital Vidya or DM Guru?

Typescript Question
This is something that's been bugging me for a longer time now.
I did couple of React/typescript project (CRA) and it just keeps on happening and I have no idea why and even better - I have no idea how to query google with about problem.
From time to time I open a file that I KNOW was without any errors and suddenly BOOM - Parameter 'XYZ' implicitly has an 'any' type. And now I need to go and add explicit types everywhere it wants me to. TS Server restart doesnt help. Why does this keep happening? Any Typescript guru please?

Code code code until you make the code look like you haven't seen a code like you have coded!

want to ask the guru one, is there a way to automate things in netbeans!?
For example, is there something to set to, upon a creation of a new Angular Service, automatically include the js file in index.html and inject the service name in angular application!?

Some tech guru: building software is a team sport.

80% of my team: ignores RFCs, avoids reviewing PRs, does not acknowledge messages (not even an emoji), calls a project they are working on "my project", later complains about everyone's mess.

What are the most important factors for you while doing code reviews ?

So we decided on trying some Angular stuff. I’m the only one in the team who actually took the effort of actually doing some work in Angular.

After a week i had trouble with the last 10% of this page, building in logics this is a step too far for mw right now.

Next to me is a coworker with LOADS of Angular experience. Who probably fixes this last 10% in a day. Max two.

Now I have to follow a fucking course to get this angular thing. Just to keep me busy, instead of the quick way and let the local Angular guru take a look at this shit.

My god i’m so done with this company!!!