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@Devintrix , congrats and happy lifes with your wife. this joke is for you :)
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began running unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Monday Night football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.
Can you help me please?
Thanks,
Joe
——————————————————–
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system.
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1, Jewelry 2.2, and Chocolates 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support11 -
Good morning campers,
It has come to be known that LetsEncrypt will be moving on from a "Small" Certificate Authority to one of the big guys with their own Root certificates in the coming months.
https://letsencrypt.org/2019/04/...
Now for the average joe this means nothing, besides awaiting for root certificate updates to flow down for their operating system 🤔 but for LE, that's a major step up in such a short time of being in existence.5 -
"Can you make it pop more..."
A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...
There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.11 -
When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?8
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A real interaction I just had...
Team Member: "Can you handle this ticket for a bug fix?"
Me: "Whats the problem?"
TM: "We aren't exactly sure..."
Me: "Ok, so can you show it to me?"
TM: "We can't get it to happen again, and when it does the machine freezes and we can't debug it..."
Me: "So, if I find a fix then how do we test to make sure it worked?"
TM: "I'm not sure..."
Then today,
Product Manager: "How's that bug fix going?"
Me: "Well, let's see. The problem still hasn't been defined. I have never been able to recreate the issue. I have a hacky fix in a PR..."
PM: "Great, so we can deploy today?!?"
Me: "No, because we have no way to reproduce or test this issue at all..."
PM: "Do you think your fix will work?"
Me: "Honestly, no. If you're asking for my opinion then you can have it. IMO this is NOT a bug fix but a change to how the system operates altogether. This system was built by someone who didn't know what they are doing. We have done our best with it but it is a house of cards. And now the solution is to replace a card at the bottom layer. It is likely that no matter what fix we do (even when we can fucking test it) that it will topple the house of cards..."
PM: ~Looking at me in disbelief~
Me: "If you ask me for my honest professional opinion then you will get it. Keep that in the future if that honest response was outside what you expected."
PM: "I will do that, thanks for your assessment"
Where do we go from here? God only knows.
Praise Joe Pesci5 -
Today my manager asked me about my research into using RabbitMQ as a backup in case Azure Service Bus ever goes down.
Me: "Good. The way we designed the framework, all we have to do is drop the DLLs into the directory, update the config, and the services will start using RabbitMQ."
Mgr: "Excellent. Probably should be looking into using RabbitMQ as a permanent replacement for Azure"
Me: "What? The whole reason we moved to Azure was to eliminate the problems with having an on prem service bus. Since we've switched, there has been zero downtime."
Mgr: "That's what VP-Joe is afraid of. If Azure ever goes down, he won't know how to explain Azure to the president as to why we're not taking orders or can't ship packages."
Me: "That makes no sense. What did VP-Joe tell the president when a database goes down or a server mis-configuration?"
Mgr: "President understands internal outages, its just the whole 'cloud' thing he doesn't understand."
Me: "Um..then VP-Joe needs to explain it to him?"
Mgr: "The decision has already been made. Are you on board? Lets look at this move as a cost savings."
Me: "You mean the $10 a month? How much hardware will we need to support RabbitMQ?"
Mgr: "Yea, nobody probably thought of that."
Me: "I'm on board with whatever decision, but I'd like a little more than VP-Joe being afraid of the president."
Mgr: "I'm sure its not being afraid."
Me: "..."
Mgr: "OK, lets wait and see if VP-Joe forgets about this and moves on to something new."4 -
I'm convinced code addiction is a real problem and can lead to mental illness.
Dev: "Thanks for helping me with the splunk API. Already spent two weeks and was spinning my wheels."
Me: "I sent you the example over a month ago, I guess you could have used it to save time."
Dev: "I didn't understand it. I tried getting help from NetworkAdmin-Dan, SystemAdmin-Jake, they didn't understand what you sent me either."
Me: "I thought it was pretty simple. Pass it a query, get results back. That's it"
Dev: "The results were not in a standard JSON format. I was so confused."
Me: "Yea, it's sort-of JSON. Splunk streams the result as individual JSON records. You only have to deserialize each record into your object. I sent you the code sample."
Dev: "Your code didn't work. Dan and Jake were confused too. The data I have to process uses a very different result set. I guess I could have used it if you wrote the class more generically and had unit tests."
<oh frack...he's been going behind my back and telling people smack about my code again>
Me: "My code wouldn't have worked for you, because I'm serializing the objects I need and I do have unit tests, but they are only for the internal logic."
Dev:"I don't know, it confused me. Once I figured out the JSON problem and wrote unit tests, I really started to make progress. I used a tuple for this ... functional parameters for that...added a custom event for ... Took me a few weeks, but it's all covered by unit tests."
Me: "Wow. The way you explained the project was; get data from splunk and populate data in SQLServer. With the code I sent you, sounded like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Oooh nooo...its waaay more complicated than that. I have this very complex splunk query, which I don't understand, and then I have to perform all this parsing, update a database...which I have no idea how it works. Its really...really complicated."
Me: "The splunk query returns what..4 fields...and DBA-Joe provided the upsert stored procedure..sounds like a 15 minute project."
Dev: "Maybe for you...we're all not super geniuses that crank out code. I hope to be at your level some day."
<frack you ... condescending a-hole ...you've got the same seniority here as I do>
Me: "No seriously, the code I sent would have got you 90% done. Write your deserializer for those 4 fields, execute the stored procedure, and call it a day. I don't think the effort justifies the outcome. Isn't the data for a report they'll only run every few months?"
Dev: "Yea, but Mgr-Nick wanted unit tests and I have to follow orders. I tried to explain the situation, but you know how he is."
<fracking liar..Nick doesn't know the difference between a unit test and breathalyzer test. I know exactly what you told Nick>
Dev: "Thanks again for your help. Gotta get back to it. I put a due date of April for this project and time's running out."
APRIL?!! Good Lord he's going to drag this intern-level project for another month!
After he left, I dug around and found the splunk query, the upsert stored proc, and yep, in about 15 minutes I was done.1 -
So, continuing with the story, I decided to quit today.
I'm not even a month there, and I'm running out of there in flames.
I've got 2 panic attacks in one week, I'm not sacrificing my mental health for some idiot's scam.6 -
Ok so the ex boyfriend (let's call him Joe) of a friend of mine is a dumbass
He wanted to hack her phone, or whatever, so hired someone on telegram to do it. He asked her phone number and 200€.
After actually giving him the money this guy sent a ransom asking for 2k to not turn Joe in.
Joe learned a lesson.5 -
+++ Microsoft switches to the open-source Chromium engine for the Edge browser +++
On December 6th, Microsoft announced that they will dump their own Edge engine and replace it with Chromium, an open-source browser engine developed by Google.
This way they are promising the ~2% of global internet users who prefer Edge over other browsers to experience a better web experience.
The about 2% of market share is one of the reasons Microsoft decided to stop developing their own engine. It's just not worth it.
Joe Belfiore, corporate veep of Windows, said they also want to bring Edge to other platforms, like macOS, to target more audiences.
Web-Developers, like myself, will most likely have the most to gain. Less browsers to target means less incompatibility issues.
There are a lot of HTML5 features that the Edge engine doesn't support...
The new Edge won't be a UWP app, in order to make it usable outside of Windows 10. Instead, it will be build in accordance with the Win32 API, so we can even expect support for older Windows versions, like Windows 7 and 8. A preview release is planned for early 2019.
Because they are switching to Chromium and the Win32 API, Microsoft is hiring new developers! So if you always wanted to work at Microsoft, now is your chance!
That's it!
Thanks for reading!
Source: https://theregister.co.uk/2018/12/...
11 -
I tried to convince my boss that using 3d rendering to display information on webpage is unnecessary luxury.
The web browser would hang if the user is using an average pc and there is too much data to render.
This product is aimed for average joe, but he argues that computers in foreign countries are high end devices ONLY.
Such a bullshit.
I asked what if someone with low spec laptop tries to view the webpage.
He said, we will set a min spec requirements for using the website.
Are you fucking kidding me?! RAM and Graphics requirements for a webpage?!
My instinct says that the thing I'm working on would probably end up as waste of time.
But I'd probably learn cool tricks of threejs.5 -
PSA.
Bad Managers will, sometimes, abuse imposter syndrome to have you work longer hours. Don't let them.9 -
Mate - whatcha doing ...
Me - oh just hacking nasa
Mate - seriously!? 😯😨
Me - OOOOh yeah I do it all the time see (shows similar photo)
Mate - don't hack me 😭
Me (in head) - you poor dumb fuck...
Me irl - I won't if you don't piss me off 😏
9 -
It's weird that this is the community where I'd be posting this, however.
After 16 years of smoking, I tried to quit smoking yesterday.
boi oh boi it is hard 😂 but 2nd day smoke free so far.
From past experiences, I'm almost past the hardest part.
I decided to quit with the first day of lent to have a bit of an extra motivation so if you're into prayer, prayers and good whishes are appreciated10 -
Average Joe:
1.searches how to save money for child college education.
2. Creates a bank account and starts to save , small amount of money from his income.
3. After 18 years, after all the hardwork finally pays the tuition fees to his child.
Dev:
1. Creates a website"Child Savings 101"
2. Monetize it
3. After 18 years, pays the tuition fees.2 -
Okay, That right there is pathetic https://thehackernews.com/2019/02/... .
First of all telekom was not able to assure their clients' safety so that some Joe would not access them.
Second of all after a friendly warning and pointing a finger to the exact problem telekom booted the guy out.
Thirdly telekom took a defensive position claiming "naah, we're all good, we don't need security. We'll just report any breaches to police hence no data will be leaked not altered" which I can't decide whether is moronic or idiotic.
Come on boys and girls... If some chap offers a friendly hand by pointing where you've made a mistake - fix the mistake, Not the boy. And for fucks sake, say THANK YOU to the good lad. He could use his findings for his own benefit, to destroy your service or even worse -- sell that knowledge on black market where fuck knows what these twisted minds could have done with it. Instead he came to your door saying "Hey folks, I think you could do better here and there. I am your customes and I'd love you to fix those bugzies, 'ciz I'd like to feel my data is safe with you".
How on earth could corporations be that shortsighted... Behaviour like this is an immediate red flag for me, shouting out loud "we are not safe, do not have any business with us unless you want your data to be leaked or secretly altered".
Yeah, I know, computer misuse act, etc. But there are people who do not give a tiny rat's ass about rules and laws and will find a way to do what they do without a trace back to them. Bad boys with bad intentions and black hoodies behind TOR will not be punished. The good guys, on the other hand, will.
Whre's the fucking logic in that...
P.S. It made me think... why wouldn't they want any security vulns reported to them? Why would they prefer to keep it unsafe? Is it intentional? For some special "clients"? Gosh that stinks6 -
!dev
TLDR; younger brother is an unreliable fuck. Learning to be a pathetic trickster. Penny teller cheap ass jester.
Hello folks. Time for a little family story.
This started around mid June.
I was a little tight on money the past few months. I had a broken laptop, that my brother wanted to buy. So I told him that he can have it for 100 bucks. It was a 1k gaming laptop 2 years ago, (i7, gtx 960m, 16gb ddr4). But I didn't know how much it would cost to repair. So I was happy with the price and so was him.
He told me he would pay by the end of June.
Hi didn't pay. He repaired the laptop for free by asking his boss, that used to be my friend (I'll probably tell you guys about that in another rant, best friend, got in a fight, stopped talking, next day my brother asked him for a job).
A month later, mid July, I told him I needed the money.
He literally said:
"I don't care for what you need. I'll pay you when I think it is a relevant expense, now I have money only for buying tools and investing in my career".
He was buying 15 usd pens (not only 1), because he wants to have expensive crap.
That was a bit disgusting, but not shocking. (I'm used to his little brat attitude, he's 26 btw).
I thought to myself. Ok, you want to be a bitch?. Then pay more.
I told him that he appreciated a good that wasn't his and that he should either pay now or agree to a new price. He didn't like that idea, but eventually we agreed to make it 300usd.
And one of the clauses was.
"I shouldn't ask him to pay." 🙄
He would pay when he could. (entitled brat attitude again). Ok. Fine.
It's been a month from that. He teased that he would pay 3 weeks ago. And he didn't. I asked him how was the "not asking for payment clause", because he did the teasing and I wanted to know if that kind of shitty mind games was part of the deal.
So that's the background story for the laptop.
Now time for a dinner story.
We share dinner once or twice a week. And when any one is short in money we keep a tally on who's been paying.
When I have money I just let the tally go in my favor, an buy him dinner whenever he says his short on money.
Note: Here, fries and soda are not part of the price, so the one that is short on money pays the fries and soda.
Today it was not one of those days. (Dinner here is about 15 USD for 2, with fries, and soda, nothing fancy, nor healthy, but an exuse to hang out with my only brother that would not eat a salad even if it was free).
I owed him 10 bucks, and he owed me 1 dinner. I asked him if he's buying dinner today. He said that the tally is even because last meal I didn't pay the chips. 🧐. (That was settled because I didn't pay once, but made up for it later)
Again with his entitled ass shitty attitude.
I just said. I don't want to hear your excuses. Here's your money. I want my laptop tomorrow, I'll sell first thing Monday. And tell me how much did you spend on repairs and parts and I'll pay you.
And now I'm sad. 🙃
Mainly, because is just so fucking boring to deal with a person that counts every penny. I fed him for 10 year while he was having problems, (alcohol and depression), And now he comes with this shitty ass counting pennies attitude, wtf?
I literally felt poorer just by counting the cents that made part of this story. (Really, who the fucks keeps track of chips and soda??? What are we 15yo??)))
It's one thing to be trapped in a 3rd world country where everyone is trying to fuck you. You learn to deal with that shit. And it's ok.
But seeing that your little brother is learning the same cheap trickery is just sad. The same cheap approach to life. The same easy and pathetic mind games is just fucking sad.
I don't even mind the money anymore. I was short on cash 2 months ago, I'm gladly better now. But finding out that he's becoming a little scammer is a bummer.
I just needed to vent. I think I should stop enabling him. And maybe keep some distance, it is fucking depressing to be counting cents to settle an argument. By dealing with that fucktard I end up counting cents just to figure out who's right.10 -
Funny programmer fantasy porn titles.
Add your 2 cents.
I'll start with.
Naive user needs hot reloading for her frontend.
Boss GF wants you to fix her backend.
Go!23 -
Constructive criticism at its finest coming all the way from:
Fuck You
Fuck You - Fuck You
Fuck You, AL 10101
Note: Joe is my coworker, not the customer that wrote in. The form sends from his address.
6 -
About browsers and whole SSL CERT thing...
Most likely everyone here noticed, that https site with broken certificate will throw these big red warnings, in your face and there is so much wording like "ITS NOT SECUREEEE" or "ITS HACKEDDD" almost like it was written by passionate fanatic.
But when you are on plaintext http browsers reaction is like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Even if you have plaintext with password, it will for example in chromium put small little red thingy that almost no one notices.
I believe that broken cert with some error like invalid date is MORE secure than plaintext password, yet still there is this hypocracy with browsers...
I dont say that broken SSL cert is good, or something, Im just pointing out contrast of "broken" https vs plain http.... One looks for casual Joe like end of the world is coming and second is bearly noticable. Da fuck?
I disagree with this approach18 -
As IT, I hate being too accessible to users (I'm a software dev, not help desk support). One particular user...let's call him Fred (even though his real name is Joe)...sits close to me.
---
Fred: Bobby, fix my Outlook (he says it jokingly but serious). It keeps saying it needs to be repaired.
Me: Yeah had the same issue last week. I just reinstalled it.
Fred: So...you can't fix it?
---
Fred: Bobby, I need access to X.
Me: Ok go to this link to request access and a manager will approve it.
Fred: Whaaat? That's too much work. You are IT and should just give me access.
---
Fred: Youtube isn't working.
Me: Ok...and?
Fred: It means my internet isn't working!
Me: *sigh*3 -
Was on a call today...nobody knew who owned or was responsible for one of the servers. My manager has a great way of finding out...he says "If I take my hammer and smash the server to pieces...who gets pissed." A moment of silence then someone speaks up..."Oh well then that would be Joe down the hall."
That my friends is how to get answers. Threaten to break things.5 -
I feel like my legacy has begun. I hear people using a notation description that I think that I invented.
When one does port mapping in commands it is like this: 5432:5432. Nobody remembers which port comes first unless they the command a lot. I confidently referred to it as "reverse cotton eyed joe notation" in a meeting.
"Where do you go? Where do you come from Cotton eyed joe?"5 -
So, packing up and leaving this hell hole.
In the end I just said that I had 2 panic attacks in the last week, and that I am leaving for medical reasons.
3 -
“Like herding cats.” I’ve heard this out of the mouths of PMs and other management types. No shit that’s what it’s like because cats aren’t herd animals. It’s what happens when you put some of the smartest people in your company at the bottom of a hierarchy, and then have some doofus manage us that reads inspirational leadership blogposts all day.
We will undermine the shit out of your shit, and you won’t even know it’s happening.
We will make every single reprimand of yours into a joke while you’re not in the building. “Hey Joe, I’m pretty sure what you’re doing right now is spreading negativity. Don’t you know it’s contagious?”
We will game every single metric you try to use on us. We will game every single one of your leadership agendas.
When I think of these things, I laugh in my heart like Skeletor.3 -
So, in my very first rant in this astounding community, I unwittingly decided I’d settled for Ubuntu not knowing the massive sea of distros out there 😊 …... boy was I ignorant!
After testing a number of these distros out there I was comfortable enough to truly settle for Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS (Xenial Xerus)
I wanted something stable, something that I won’t have to tinker much with, something that has a relatively long-time community support. So, I based my decision vastly on the below points since I think they encompass your everyday Joe distro requirements.
1. Package Manager
2. Desktop environment
3. Community support
4. Stability
Any whom, thanks @Totchinuko for sharing your experience about Linux Mint, also @calmyourtities for the Zorin suggestion. I must say I still like Zorin’s look and feel desktop environment. Also @hacker, @Cyanide for your suggestions and to the guys shared their view and comments on the rant 😊 😉
9 -
In another news. COVID-19 continues to ravage certain places of the world. Most notably India (for right now)
Is there a mathematical correlation between this and the decrease of scam calls asking about your social, vehicle warranties, IRS frauds etc?
A friend mentioned that he has not gotten scam calls in a while now, I noticed this as well. I would normally have vendors contact me daily, vendors with shitty practices and poor sounding accents that insist on them having names such as "Joe" or "Steve". This sucks for India since I believe it is a country with absolutely beautiful cultural heritage and good people. But man, the decrease in scam calls from there is outstanding now.6 -
A friend saw me on stack overflow and said 'wow, 4,000 points - you must do this all day.' I explained that I just do it to reinforce my understanding and not really for points(although those are useful for bounties). I showed them an account with 22k and tried to show how one might choose questions for maximum points vs quick solves for noobs etc. I write overly thorough answers to try and pin-point the blind spot as opposed to just fixing other people's code. It's not often rewarded by points. My friend - conspiracist - was convinced that the 20+k accounts were cheating the system.
At my old work we had a stack overflow account just for asking embarrassing questions that you didn't want on the company record. Silly, I know. Occasionally some of the guys would use it to have fake arguments or just cause trouble for fun / vote each other's stuff up.
So - I reached into 1Password and signed into that account and showed him that you could essentially vote up your answers but that it's not likely how people get points. I voted up my last 5 personal answers as an example and made some comment like 'that is right.' And that was that. Closed the computer. The next day my account was suspended and I was reprimanded for sockpuppeting. So, - in case you think you can get away with cheap tricks - you can't, which is nice to know - but after reading the email - my face was red for hours. How embarrassing! Not quite as bad as that time I got caught stealing a G.I. Joe action figure at the mall...2 -
If you want to edit large text files, I found out that JOE will handle 1GB+.
Yay for 28 year old software.2 -
Just saw a breaking news scrolling on TV about Instagram, WhatsApp and Facebook being down 😂
I find it hilarious - it shows how dependent an average joe have become on these services.5 -
Sent my changes before everybody for code review, got git blocked because today was demo day, and ... And asshole guy merged his own PR without code review. That conflicted with my PR. I am going to start posting the shennanigans of asshole guy from now on, just to have a record of his stupidity.
10 -
After working on 7 projects last year with 7 different groups and learning to "flow like water", I don't feel the urge to rant anymore. There are always going to be all kinds of weird scenes, cheap clients, incompetent coworkers, people that pretend to know something when they actually know shit. All of those are just tests life is presenting you to make you learn to be peaceful and tolerant.
The world is broken, accept it, and allow yourself to be an ordinary human being, you'll be free and happier. Stuff like the law of attraction does exist. Just learn to be happy and grateful for what you get and you'll get a ton more reasons to be happy and grateful9 -
Oh boy, this is gonna be good:
TL;DR: Digital bailiffs are vulnerable as fuck
So, apparently some debt has come back haunting me, it's a somewhat hefty clai and for the average employee this means a lot, it means a lot to me as well but currently things are looking better so i can pay it jsut like that. However, and this is where it's gonna get good:
The Bailiff sent their first contact by mail, on my company address instead of my personal one (its's important since the debt is on a personal record, not company's) but okay, whatever. So they send me a copy of their court appeal, claiming that "according to our data, you are debtor of this debt". with a URL to their portal with a USERNAME and a PASSWORD in cleartext to the message.
Okay, i thought we were passed sending creds in plaintext to people and use tokenized URL's for initiating a login (siilar to email verification links) but okay! Let's pretend we're a dumbfuck average joe sweating already from the bailiff claims and sweating already by attempting to use the computer for something useful instead of just social media junk, vidya and porn.
So i click on the link (of course with noscript and network graph enabled and general security precautions) and UHOH, already a first red flag: The link redirects to a plain http site with NOT username and password: But other fields called OGM and dossiernumer AND it requires you to fill in your age???
Filling in the received username and password obviously does not work and when inspecting the page... oh boy!
This is a clusterfuck of javascript files that do horrible things, i'm no expert in frontend but nothing from the homebrewn stuff i inspect seems to be proper coding... Okay... Anyways, we keep pretending we're dumbasses and let's move on.
I ask for the seemingly "new" credentials and i receive new credentials again, no tokenized URL. okay.
Now Once i log in i get a horrible looking screen still made in the 90's or early 2000's which just contains: the claimaint, a pie chart in big red for amount unpaid, a box which allows you to write an - i suspect unsanitized - text block input field and... NO DATA! The bailiff STILL cannot show what the documents are as evidence for the claim!
Now we stop being the pretending dumbassery and inspect what's going on: A 'customer portal' that does not redirect to a secure webpage, credentials in plaintext and not even working, and the portal seems to have various calls to various domains i hardly seem to think they can be associated with bailiff operations, but more marketing and such... The portal does not show any of the - required by law - data supporting the claim, and it contains nothing in the user interface showing as such.
The portal is being developed by some company claiming to be "specialized in bailiff software" and oh boy oh boy..they're fucked because...
The GDPR requirements.. .they comply to none of them. And there is no way to request support nor to file a complaint nor to request access to the actual data. No DPO, no dedicated email addresses, nothing.
But this is really the ham: The amount on their portal as claimed debt is completely different from the one they came for today, for the sae benefactor! In Belgium, this is considered illegal and is reason enough to completely make the claim void. the siple reason is that it's unjust for the debtor to assess which amount he has to pay, and obviously bailiffs want to make the people pay the highest amount.
So, i sent the bailiff a business proposal to hire me as an expert to tackle these issues and even sent him a commercial bonus of a reduction of my consultancy fees with the amount of the bailiff claim! Not being sneery or angry, but a polite constructive proposal (which will be entirely to my benefit)
So, basically what i want to say is, when life gives you lemons, use your brain and start making lemonade, and with the rest create fertilizer and whatnot and sent it to the lemonthrower, and make him drink it and tell to you it was "yummy yummy i got my own lemons in my tummy"
So, instead of ranting and being angry and such... i simply sent an email to the bailiff, pointing out various issues (the ones6 -
I get an email about an hour before I get into work: Our website is 502'ing and our company email addresses are all spammed! I login to the server, test if static files (served separately from site) works (they do). This means that my upstream proxy'd PHP-FPM process was fucked. I killed the daemon, checked the web root for sanity, and ran it again. Then, I set up rate limiting. Who knew such a site would get hit?
Some fucking script kiddie set up a proxy, ran Scrapy behind it, and crawled our site for DDoS-able URLs - even out of forms. I say script kiddie because no real hacker would hit this site (it's minor tourism in New Jersey), and the crawler was too advanced for joe shmoe to write. You're no match for well-tuned rate-limiting, asshole!1 -
So here's is the thing.
For some weird reason I decided to work at a VC funded startup. For 15k year,(I live in a really poor country).
So, let me describe the hell I'm in now, and if for some good grace you happen to be hiring, please consider saving me from the horror that's ahead.
Company got funded 5 months ago, main owners are, an economist and a civil engineer with no programming habilities whatsoever.
They took 1 month to assemble "a killer team", with no hiring expertise they handpicked a CTO that came in 1 month later and took a month of vacation in his first month of work.
He didn't do any specification of the system that needs to be built.
The 2 naive owners hired the rest of this "killer team".
The team is good, but have no appreciation of planning.
They've built and rebuilt the backend system twice, once in graphql and the second with plain http (is not real rest, just a http api), in front of, guess what a mongo database.
This mongo DB is not only one, but 7, because we have 7 microservices, and each has its own database.
After some time, they decided to fire their CTO, and hire one more programmer(that's me), because the CTO wasn't doing anything.
The app has 3 parts, the app per se, a business version, and a help desk, guess what the helpdesk just appeared last week on the radar.
Long story short, we have one month to deliver what couldn't be built in 5.
When I decided to work for these people, I did not imagine the kind of clusterfuck that I was getting into.
It took me 1 month to realize the whole situation, now, I really would like to see some help from the deities of any religion, not for the project, that project is doomed.
It's how I'll pay the bills after that clusterfuck collapses that worries me.
Now in the startup no one is talking about how stupid the whole situation is. Or how far back we are. And at this point there's very little that could be done about it, I have a feeling that it could still be accomplished, but it's fading day after day.
I will do my best to live the best of this experience, and do as the musicians in the Titanic and keep playing the music even after knowing the Titanic is sinking.4 -
I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.7
-
[See image]
This guy is wrong in so many ways.
"Windows/macOS is the best choice for the average user. Prove me wrong."
There are actually many Gnu/Linux based operating systems that's really easy to install and use. For example Debian/any Debian based OS.
There are avarage users that use a Gnu/Linux based operating system because guess what. They think its better and it is.
Lets do a little comparision shall we.
- - - - - Windows 10 - - Debian
Cost $139 Free
Spyware Yes. No
Freedom Limited. A lot
"[Windows] It's easy to set up, easy to use and has all the software you could possibly want. And it gets the job done. What more do you need? I don't see any reason for the average joe to use it. [Linux]"
Well as I said earlier, there are Gnu/Linux based operating systems thats easy to set up too.
And by "[Windows] has all the software you could possibly want." I guess you mean that you can download all software you could possibly want because having every single piece of software (even the ones you dont need or use) on your computer is extremely space inefficient.
"Linux is far from being mainstream, I doubt it's ever gonna happen, in fact"
Yes, Linux isn't mainstream but by the increasing number of people getting to know about Linux it eventually will be mainstream.
"[Linux is] Unusable for non-developers, non-geeks.
Depends heavily on what Gnu/Linux based operating system youre on. If youre on Ubuntu, no. If youre on Arch, yes. Just dont blame Linux for it.
"Lots of usability problems, lots of elitism, lots of deniers ("works for me", "you just don't use it right", "Just git-pull the -latest branch, recompile, mess with 12 conf files and it should work")"
That depends totally on what you're trying to. As the many in the Linux community is open source contributors, the support around open source software is huge and if you have a problem then you can get a genuine answer from someone.
"Linux is a hobby OS because you literally need to make it your 'hobby' to just to figure out how the damn thing works."
First of all, Linux isnt a OS, its a kernel. Second, no you dont. You dont have to know how it works. If you do, yes it can take a while but you dont have to.
"Linux sucks and will never break into the computer market because Linux still struggles with very basic tasks."
Ever heard of System76? What basic tasks does Linux struggle with? I call bullshit.
"It should be possible to configure pretty much everything via GUI (in the end Windows and macOS allow this) which is still not a case for some situations and operations."
Most things is possible to configure via a GUI and if it isnt, use the terminal. Its not so hard
https://boards.4chan.org/g/thread/...
21 -
Fuck unreasonable deadlines. Just do your stuff as if you have the time of the world. Stop compromising the quality of your work and things are going to be done when they're done. Good quality stuff that's worth the wait.
I started to tell this to myself this week. For months now I took the bait that everything is urgent. And whatever crap management want has to be done yesterday. But.... Well... They pushed it too effing far.
Redo this module that took the former team about six months to finish. You have 10 days.
Well... What? Everyone is saying yes?... Everyone going full code monkey making no progress?
This is the moment I stop compromising and stop listening to your suggestions. I am going to do what I know how to do, the way I know it works, and I will not cut one corner based off your suggestions. I'm sorry, I've been dealing with this shit for too long already, and I don't want to suffer the consequences of degrading the quality of what I write anymore.5 -
Everyday I lose more and more hope in humanity
One thing I noticed is that arguments don't matter in politics. Most people won't even read them, they will just assume they disagree with you and project the most simplistic arguments into yours which they can then easily object to with cookie cutter phrases from their ideology. EVEN when you agree with their main point but criticize some small associated thing
It feels like people can only be swayed in their opinion by direct indoctrination
Maybe it always was like that. But now we have twitter. And suddenly every joe feels like they have a well thought out opinion that must be shared and even better they have a convenient cult-like filter bubble that unconditionally agrees with them
I actually, unironically fear for our future
#SorryForThePoliticalRant5 -
!dev :(
I am cleaning, disinfecting, bagging and sealing produce and deliver it in survival packs so people don't need to get out of their houses.
The country is in total lockdown, people are strongly encouraged to stay at home.
Bars, social activities and whatnot are closed.
Only excuse to be outside is to be buying groceries or going to the hospital.
Supermarkets only allow 1 person per household, so.3 -
Be a fellow who's distracted af. You just had a presentation in another city. You're driving home and a light lits up saying you need gas. You stop at the petrol station, pour in some gas, grab a cop of joe while you're at it, pay and leave. You're 15minutes away from the gas stop already and an unknown number is calling you. You pick it up. A male voice says
Voice: "hello, this is police. Did you just leave a gas stop 15 minutes ago?"
You: *wtf, what the fuck did I do now!* "yes, I sure did."
Voice: "you forgot to pay for the fuel"
you: *oh shit, he's right! I remember now - I only paid for the coffee! Shit! I'm in trouble now. *
"oh.. Right, you're right, I forgot... I'll turn around and come back to pay
Voice: "wait, don't rush, I may be able to help you. I'll call you back, keep your phone close" *hangs up*
5 minutes later phone rings again.
Voice: "can you pull over, please? Here's a phone number of that gas stop. Give them a call, I'm sure you'll sort it our. Have a nice day!" *hangs up*
you call that number. A woman picks up.
You: "hello, I forgot to pay you for the gas, gimme a few minutes - I'll turn around and get back to you"
Operator: "do not worry, I think I can help you! You can pay for it at your home town if you like, but I'm afraid they might not be working today. But they will tomorrow! Would that be OK for you?"
you: "umm, yeah, of course! It's my fault - anything is OK for me!"
operator: "ooorrr.. I could pay for you now and you would pay me back. Would that work? Here's my bank account, I'll pay for you when you send me those 50 something €"
a fantasy story? Made up story? Bed time stories? Dysney movie plot? Phishing? Canada?
No. This is Lithuania :) believe it or not, this is a true story, and there are more like this one.
Respect to the police!12 -
Apart from the usuals like K&R, John McCarthy, Simon Peyton-Jones, Joe Armstrong, Bjarne Stroustroup, and so on, I'd like to mention one more, sort of different from the rest.
Ton Roosendaal.
He started Blender and oversaw its crowdfunded release as an open source project (look it up, it's pretty cool), provides excellent leadership at the Blender Foundation, is a crack programmer, very nice dude and down to earth. His leadership, vision, and handling of Blender's growth as FOSS software and artist-focused DCC tool is amazing. He might not be the brains behind Blender's technical advances all that much (now) but he's a great example of what one can do for software beyond just programming. -
Please stop calling calling rest to any json over http api. That's not rest, rest has its specifics details to be called rest.11
-
I don't, I know I'm exactly where I belong.
But it took some time 🤣, about 12 years of soul searching.
So, good luck! 🤣🤣🤣🤣4 -
I actually made a friend on gitter. We were regulars in a few channels, we started talking. Then we paired for some projects, he would help when I was stuck and vice versa. I ended up traveling 9000 miles to meet him and he took me to party for 2 weeks straight. That was fun.
-
I have a friend, he's name is Joe, he's a Tarantula and he's the only web developer I've seen that loves bugs.3
-
Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
-
I joined 3 months into a project that was expected to be done in 6.
As the day passed I learned about the scope a little more, 30 days in I decided to step aside, I slowly learned that they wanted a whole bank built from scratch.
User support ticketing systems, the banking core and an app like "revolut", everything with a team of 4.
To this day I have not seen them launch, and it's been over 5 years. -
***ILLEGAL***
so its IPL(cricket) season in india, there is a OTT service called hotstar (its like netflix of india), the cricket streams exclusively on hotstar..
so a quick google search reveals literally thousands of emails & passwords, found a pastebin containing 500 emails&passwords ...but those are leaked last year most of passwords are changed & many of them enabled 2FA.. after looking through them we can find some passwords are similar to their emails , some contains birth year like 1975,1997 etc, some passwords end with 123 ..so after trying a few different versions of the passwords like
1) password123 -> password@123, password1234
2) passwordyear -> password@year
2) for passwords similar to emails, we can add 123 ,1234, @ etc
created a quick python script for sending login requests
so after like 30-40 mins of work, i have 7 working accounts
*for those who have basic idea of security practices you can skip this part
lessons learnt
1) enable 2FA
2) use strong passwords, if you change your password , new password should be very different from the old one
there are several thousands of leaked plaintext passwords for services like netflix,spotify, hulu etc, are easily available using simple google search,
after looking through & analysing thousands of them you can find many common passwords , common patterns
they may not be as obvious as password ,password123 but they are easily guessable.
mainly this is because these type of entertainment services are used by the average joe, they dont care about strong passwords, 2FA etc6 -
- always challenging, so fun
- real-life impact on masses
- programming is usually the core of "the next big thing" [™ Joe MacMillan]
- plays an important role in the world's growth nowadays
- every company needs them, so you'll always have a job
- well paid2 -
Sometime in the near future…
"Hey Joe, how's the new robot working out?"
"Oh it's great, except that we have no more shampoo in the house."
"…"
"Yeah, apparently it got its hands on a bottle and infinite-looped on Lather, Rinse, Repeat." -
So I got an offer to do part time on a project that was mismanaged for two years.
After hearing the comments about how ugly the code base was.
I took it. So now I'll have something to rant here. 🤣7 -
I can't recall one single person I can call a mentor, however...
When I first started as a developer I had a senior to work with... I knew close to anything but I was always good at research and learning on my own... But we used an asp.net framework, it was new and there was little to no useful information, only basics... When I asked the senior (let's call him Joe) for help he gave me a quick answer:
Joe: Go to file xx, there's an example of what you need there...
Me: Well, been there and that's great but it doesn't help...
Everytime I was stucked during my first week it was always some sort of the same, so I insisted this time...
Me: so, Joe... I'm really stuck on this one, can you give it a look?
Joe: I know, I've been researching a way to do it for an hour now and can't get it either...
Me: wow! Thanks... But I thought you were an expert on this...
Joe: not really, never used it before. It's as new to me as it is to you! :)
So, that switched me from "this fucking weasel won't help me for shit" to "well, let's help each other"
We became good friends, always challenging each other and from that day on I stopped asking for help, and asking where can I help others...
I had great and greatly bad colleague and seniors. Each one thought me something either what to do or what not to do, how to act or not, how to tackle problems, how to teach...
Everyone I have worked with, worked for or trained is a mentor of mine. Even those I feel like I failed training thought me how to do better next time...
Thank you guys for being grate... Thank you assholes for teaching me how to send a guy go fuck himself! Good luck for those who get stucked with me -
I really wish to live in the 80s era. I guess i was born in the wrong timeline. Watching the footage and movies of that time really makes me think yall lived a far more enriching life while half of us genz scroll our life away on these fucking apps.
Also not being rich wasn't a problem as much as it is now with all the social media narcissism that is normalized with every other joe and joess labelling their puberty as some earth shattering transformation and posting all these glow ups with filters that make em look unreal and stupid shit18 -
What is your greatest weakness?
My greatest weakness is that I don't trust people enough to let them know how the can leverage me by telling them my weaknesses.5 -
A friend suggested that I'd start learning a scriptable language like Ruby, Python or JavaScript instead of beginning with HTML and CSS, until I feel comfortable with programming.
I want to be a web developer and Ive learned some HTML.
So, any opinions?9 -
Anyone into road bikes? What’s your ride?
My last ride was a custom-built Mayak fixed gear. Couple of facts about the geometry and the bike as a whole:
1. Even on 165mm cranks, the crank overlapped with the front wheel not by the pedal, but by the crank itself. Because it was a fixie, turning at a wrong moment could send you flying.
2. The stiffness was immeasurable. We’re talking Joe Biden at a kindergarten levels of stiff.
3. It was a rocket. You hop in, make two turns and boom, you’re half way across the street. When we raced with road bikes on urban endurance courses, they were WASTED by the end? Me though? Barely sweating.
This bike was a great metaphor for my personality. Awkward, unforgiving, rigid, chaotic, over the top, difficult, yet brilliant in a very narrow range of specific tasks. A true glass cannon.
9 -
1. Think about it.
2. Get super hyped.
3. Tell everyone.
4. Go to step 1.
5. Plan it
6. Execute
7. Profit.3 -
Halt and Catch Fire is having another great season. Lived those days and it is so true. CompuServe, Compaq, Commodore, 5 1/4", Tandy 1000, Byte Mag, Atari, The Well... The tech you see is really 1985ish. Attention to detail is appreciated by long time technologists.
H&CF is about building a tech business and much applies to today's startups. That two brilliant tech women are leading the charge adds to it. All the characters are great Cameron, Gordon, Donna, the devs at Mutiny and Joe channeling Jobs (in my opinion) is spot on.
Any H&CF fans have an opinion?4 -
Probably a cook or a chef, I like the kitchen and cooking in general.
Maybe owning a small barbacue joint somewhere not so remote, like a route stop near some touristic place.2 -
On today's episode of... The shit people will try to pull off to get you work longer hours.
Guilt tripping.
I mean, seriously? That one can be smelled from miles away and it is obviously a clear red flag that you're a manipulative person.
Why would you even try it? Have some respect for yourself.3 -
!rant
So, when I was young, I wanted to be a freelancing nomad. You know, live the live, work remote and travel.
But I didn't have the bones to pursue that. After 10 years of struggling as a normal "programmer", I did a little of everything. I did normal boring "erp maintenance" in C#, Oracle and some legacy stuff called Visual WEB GUI , which was fun, but required a full 9,5 hours work day, 8:00 am to 6:30pm, and the bosses where squares, and I was young and wanted to try something out of the corporate world.
Then I did some work for a newly funded consulting company that used python, Django, and postgresql, but the bosses promised a lot and delivered none, (I was supposed to work backend and have frontend support, which I did not have, and that hurt my productivity and bosses instead of looking at what they promised but did not deliver, they just discounted my salary 3 months in a row, so Bye bye MFs!!
Then I did some remote work for some guys, that, I managed to sustain for a whole year, the pay was good, the stack was simple, just node.js and pug templates, that gig was good, but communication with the bosses was hard, and eventually things started to get hard for them and me, and we had to say farewell to each other, I miss those guys. This is the only time I remember having fun working, I could work whenever I wanted, I only had to reach the weekly goals, and then my time was mine, I could work from home in the odd hours, or rent a chair in a co working space if I wanted to socialize.
Then fate got me one big gig with a multinational company, and I could hire some people, but I delegated too much and was asking too little of myself, and that project eventually died because I did not know how to negotiate.
So, I quit the whole entrepreneur idea, and got a public job at my University, I was a public employee with all the perks, but none of the fun, I just had to clock-in, work, and clock-out. That experience led me to discover a lot of myself, I worked as a public employee for a year and a half, and in that time, I discovered more about myself than what I learnt in 27 years of previous life experience.
Then, I grew bored of that life, and wanted some action, and I found more than enough fun in a VC funded startup ran by young narcissists that did not have a clue of what they were doing, I helped them organize themselves into "closing stuff", you know, finish the things you say you have finished. Just to give you an idea of what it was like before I got there, the were working for 3 months already on this project, they had on paper 50% of the system done and working, when I tried to use the app, I couldn't even sign-up without hacking some database commands, (this was supposedly done). So I spent a month there teaching these guys how to finish stuff, they got, Sign Up, (their sign up was a mess, it is one of those KYC rich things, that financial apps have), Login, and some core functionality working in a month, while in the previous 4 months they only did parallel work, writing endpoints that were not tried, and an app that did not communicate with the backend. But the bosses weren't happy with me, because I told them time and time again that we were not going to reach the goal they needed to reach to keep receiving funds from the investors, and I had to quit before it became a mayhem of toxic employer/employee relationship.
So now I decided to re-engage with life, I have funds to survive about a month and half, I have a good line of credit in case I need some more funds, and the time of the world.
So wish me luck!!! And I'll be posting often, because I would like opinions, hear from people with similar life experiences and share anecdotes.
Next post, it's going to be about how I discovered taskwarrior, and how implemented my first weekend following some of the aspects of GTD to do all my housekeeping chores, because, I think that organizing myself will be key to survive as a freelancer nomad. -
I subscribe to many copywriting newsletters. Here's an article that shows how it's like on "the other side", marketers struggle, too.
How Kevin's Massive Mistake
Completely Changed His Life
Kevin H. made a huge mistake.
The biggest, he would say, if he could tell you himself.
And he knew it immediately.
It was, he said, "instant regret."
Within milliseconds, he was asking himself "What have I done..."
Kevin, see, had just jumped the rail of the single most popular suicide spot in the world, the Golden Gate Bridge.
On average, the site gets another distraught jumper every two weeks. Kevin was one of them.
It wasn't like he hadn't tried to quiet the voices in his head. Therapy, drugs, hospitalization.
Time to die, those voices still said.
And yet, in the minutes his bus dropped him off at the bridge, he hesitated and paced with tears in his eyes.
"I told myself if just one person comes up to me and asks if I'm okay... if one person asks if they can help... I won't do it. I'll stop and tell them my whole story..."
But nobody did, so he jumped.
It was in those next milliseconds, he would later say, he knew it was the biggest mistake of his life.
He didn't want to die.
But now, he was sure, it was too late.
From its highest point, it's a 245-foot plummet into the icy bay waters below.
Out of the 1,700 people that have jumped from the bridge since it first opened in 1937, only 25 have survived.
Kevin, against all odds, would be one of them.
He slammed into the water like hitting concrete. Three of his vertebrae instantly shattered.
When he surfaced, he couldn't hold his own head above water. But, incredibly, a sea lion kept pushing him up.
The Coast Guard soon arrived and pulled him out.
From there, he began a long recovery that required intense surgery, physical therapy, and psychiatric care.
While still under treatment, a priest urged him to give a talk to a bunch of seventh and eighth graders.
Afterward, they sent him a pile of letters, both encouraging and full of their own pained thoughts.
He also met a woman.
Today, Kevin lives in Atlanta and he's been happily married for the last 12 years.
And he tours the country, sharing his story.
So why re-tell it here?
Obviously -- I hope -- you don't get lots of copywriters looking to snuff it after a flopped headline test.
Just the same...
We've talked a lot in this space about the things one needs to get by in this biz.
My friend and colleague Joe, over at the publishing powerhouse Agora Financial, likes to list requirements.
You need intense curiosity...
You need a killer work ethic...
And you must, MUST have... resilience.
Meaning, you must have or find the capacity to bounce back from failure and flops, even huge ones.
Now, again, Kevin's story is an extreme and in this context -- I hope -- a hyperbolic example of somebody giving up. In the worst way possible.
It is also, though, a metaphor.
See, I get a lot of notes from some of you guys... and at conferences, I get to talk to a lot of people...
And I often get the sense, from some folks, that they're feeling a little more overwhelmed than they let on.
Some are just starting out, and they've got a lot on the line. For some, it's everything. And some are desperate to make it work.
Because they have to, because their pride or livelihoods or a family business is at stake, because it's a dream.
And yet, they're overwhelmed by all the tips and secrets... or by piles of confusing research or ideas...
For others, even had some success, but they're burned out, feel antiquated, or feel like "imposters" that know less than they let on, in an industry that's evolving.
To all those folks... and to you... I can only say, I've been there. And frankly, go back there now and again.
Flops happen, failures happen. And you can and will -- even years and decades into doing this -- make the wrong choices, pick the wrong projects, or botch the right ones.
The legendary Gene Schwartz put it this way, according to a quote spotted recently in fellow writer Ben Settle's e-letter...
" A very good copywriter is going to fail. If the guy doesn't fail, he's no good. He's got to fail. It hurts. But it's the only way to get the home runs the next time."
Once more, nobody -- I hope -- is taking the trials of this profession hard enough to make Kevin's choice.
And believe me, I don't mean to make light of the latter. I just want to make sure we hit this anvil with a big hammer. To drive home the point that, whatever your struggle, be it with this biz or something bigger, that you don't want to give up. Press on.
As Churchill put it, "Success, is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
Or even more succinctly when he said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Because it's worth it.
.
John Forde -
I started my career at a company that ran boot camps 24/7. I learned a lot but they did some shady shit. The company changed their name often so they couldn't be tracked and posed as a regular subcontracting agency and gave trainees fake backgrounds with an extensive resumes so people could get hired. I mean how else would Joe out of college with no experience get a job requiring 5 years minimum.3
-
I'm a lazy ass person and I wanna learn web development.
However, I only have one problem.
I don't have a computer, or even a laptop.6 -
In all fairness to macOS. To it's weird design choices, both Linux and Windows should copy way of installing most of macOS programs. Downloading and mounting .DMG file, drag & dropping the app into Applications folder and done! Life would be so much simpler with it. And yes, I know apt install/pacman -S/dpkg -i/any other package manager is quicker, but average Joe doesn't care about it!
Then again, it would create yet ANOTHER package managing method supported by two distros that no one really cares for...5 -
Simple hack to cure depression:
1. Toast a couple of fat ass slices of homemade sourdough bread
2. Slather it with a large amount of butter
3. Top it off with some of your mom’s homemade jam
4. Compliment it with a nice cup o’ joe
Sadness gone 🤌🤌🤌26 -
Some humans are calm and thoughtful, some annoyingly complicated, while others with behaviours too difficult to comprehend.
I got a call from the office (former from 6 months ago) and it's from the G.M herself.
** Phone rings **
Hmm see who's calling...
Me: * Picks up phone and set it on loud speaker, so my partner can also listen *
Me: Hello Ma
G.M: Hey (calls me by my full name)
Me: It's really nice to he...
G.M: Why would you move the YETI server hosted on AWS to Azure! We have been faced with lots of challenges ever since and that has cost the company a lot.
Me: Pardon me Ma, but that...
G.M: That is a very bad and unacceptable behaviour from you and I can have the company sue you for this.
Me: Excuse me Ma, but...
G.M: I have spoken with the director of C.M.D quaters (A sister company) and explained the situation on ground about what you did before leaving without having any prior permission. What nonsense!
** At this point my partner let's call her "CC"... was more confused than me**
CC : **Panicking** Who's that? What did you do? I thought you said you no longer work at that firm, what's going on?
Now I'm confused cus I don't even know who to reply.
Me: **Signals CC to calm the fuck down**
G.M: ** Still talking and spitting out millions of threats to the guy who left the company with evil deeds in mind...**
CC who literally hates suspense and also a half cool and half crackhead kind of person... Tries stealing the phone from me so she could pour out whatever is on her mind to the caller because of how disgusted she felt, mostly for reasons I quite understood but nevertheless i kept the phone far from her reach while we both enjoyed the suiting voice of *a threat giver*
Honestly at this point my closest guess was "Joe, who must have fucked up big time" because Joe is the company's SysAdmin and has a lot of fucked up records (One time Joe tried to convert all system OSes to Linux even with our hydra servers with pre-installed windows running smoothly, his action caused a noticeable server down-time all for the reason of Joe being a Linux freak). He and only he has the power to transfer/switch/off/on servers at will. I really don't know what Joe must have done but sure thing is there is a fuck up somewhere.
Talking about me, I was only a developer enthroned only within his desk and secondly I no longer worked there. Who fucking calls a retired soldier about a lost battle after six freaking months later! Just fucking sink with your ship captain!
But how can I explain all of this to G.M without implicating Joe and also not look like snitch, I thought to myself.
While I was pondering within myself and the call which has long been disconnected, CC broke the silence.
CC: Giddy, Can you honestly explain me why your old company is calling talking about lawyers and suing you? Have you been lying to me about your work?
Me: *Explained the situation to CC*
CC: But why was she that saucy and acting a bitch? You should have spare me a minute with her.
Me: She wouldn't let me speak but we good CC. We good.
The woman that just called is the G.M. of the firm I had formerly worked with and she's also the wife to the M.D of the same firm which was my former direct Boss whom I respect a lot. Having a disjunct with the wife can also affect the relationship with the husband, which I don't want to lose. So we cool!
Maybe I should text her or maybe not... But before then
** Another call comes in **
It's her again.
GM: Hello Giddy (Sounding calm)
Me: (WTF. She called me by my first name and also sounds cool... More confused than a stray dog) ...Yeah Hello
GM: I just called to let you know that my accusation was wrong because I was misinformed. Joe Nosa was in charge on Systems but why didn't you correct me on that during our last conversation?
Me: ... 😲
CC: (Drags the phone) Hello and Good morning whosoever...
G.M: Sorry who am I speaking with?
CC: (Introduced herself) I overheard your last conversation with Giddy, and I demand you appogise to him both in written and in verbal because not only did you accused him falsely, you also almost bridge the trust between us which may have cost the relationship.
Me: ...
** Long awkward silence **
G.M: Hey Giddy, I'm sorry. Just angry about what went down recently.
Me: All good ma'am
CC: ** Hangs up **1 -
More than 50% of my work is due to the fact people don't do what they are suppose to do.
"Joe is suppose to submit report X every week. He hasnt been keeping up so make a script that reminds him if he's late. Better yet make a tool so Joe doesn't waste those 3 minutes every week."
Me: Tell him to do his job.
"But we need you to do it"
Me: Fine
"Suzie is complaining she does this menial task"
Me: She was hired to do that.
"Can we automate it?"
Me: No
"X is broken"
Me: I know. Group Y isn't doing what they are suppose to.
"Go talk to them so you can see why they aren't doing it. Then bend over backwards so you can handle these kinds of issues due to their laziness in the future."
Me: Fine...4 -
The Joe Rogan Experience. Sometimes I just need to hear someone else thinking out loud so I don't have to do it for myself. Plus, who else is going to remind me that:
“If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
- Joe Rogan2 -
Am I the asshole?.
AITA for having a grin, when comes demo time and my stuff works flawlessly and every other monkey coder that I work with has his/her stuff pointed out as flawed for going all fast and furious?8 -
You Give Rest a Bad Name!!
By
Dylan Beattie
A parody of 'You Give Love a Bad Name' - about hypermedia APIs. No, really.
https://youtube.com/watch/...4 -
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
Michael is learning about stylesheets from Hubspot. HO LEEE SHEEEIT
Joe Makarski [7:43 AM]
dood. those hubspot stylehseets are soooo insane
Lee Quessenberry [7:43 AM]
I know! LOL
[7:43]
Better him than me
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
it's like Dreamweaver and Adobe's other web app eat each other
[7:44]
ate*
Lee Quessenberry [7:44 AM]
and after they get done eating each other they go to the sperm bank and get knocked up by microsoft frontpage.
Joe Makarski [7:44 AM]
seriously.
Lee Quessenberry [7:45 AM]
WTF -
It's funny how alcohol actually makes you remember all the crazy shit you had to deal with.
As when I was a junior c# programmer at an ERP shop.
I was new, naive and full of energy.
I used to dive deep into the code base, and one of the things I noticed but didn't pay too much attention was.
Error stacks were usually meaningless.
And why was that?
First, well it was c#.
Second, the guys use to do this.
try {
ThrowingFunction();
} catch (Exception e ) {
throw e;
}
PS: I'm not doing c# anymore, that was 10 years ago. So syntax might be a bit off.8 -
Good Morning Folks!!!
I haven't been posting in a while, besides the fact that I went thru a crazy psychiatric crisis 6 weeks ago, there have not been much news to share here.
Now, recovering and working again luckily, I have to face again the stupid pointy haired boss.
So, this fucker asked me for an estimation to build a simple web app.
He: Hey, can you make an estimation for this app
Me: sure, here it is.
He: *to the client*, here's the estimation for the web app you requested
Client: Uhmm, can I haz desktop for winbug$??
He: Let me check with dev
Me: Sure why not, we can do F# using MVU which is basically the same as using modern web frameworks
He: Sure, I'll tell that to the client.
Client: Oooohhh, C#, we lovez C#, can I haz discount?
He: Client wants discount to make it in C#.
Me: Oh, you can give him a discount to make it in F#, I never said C#
He: But your cv says you used C# ten years ago.
Me: Sure, but is not keeping up with functional design patterns, which is what I do.
He: Ok, so I'm offering him the discount in F#
Me: Great.
He: So, project is approved, thanks for the discount, you have 3 weeks to present the product in C#.
Me: Sure, I'll start when I get the downpayment.
Me: I'm considering saying that I didn't understand that he wanted it in C#, and just do F# and not let him know until the project is done.
Thoughts??8 -
Let me just say that I've been playing whack a mole with a new feature for while now. And it's becoming very tiring.
TLDR; CTO is changing the way we're going to implement this, every other day.
June 1st,
CEO: let's implement feature AAA,
CTO: we're going to have a call with Andy to tell us all about his product that will make this super easy, call will be June 4th.
Days before June 4th,
Me: Researchs product X, makes demo works flawlessly.
June 4th,
Call all good, few tips from Andy. We come to the pricing section of Product X
CTO: this will not work, pricing doesn't fit on our budget, fair enough.
June 7th -11th
Me: research altenative approach. Makes second demo.
CTO: Works good, seems to have too many moving parts, let's have call with Bob to check Product Y. It should make our lifes easier.
ME: Geee, ok let's check it out.
June 14th,
Call with Bob, all good, product has a fair price, stuff is experimental.
CTO: let's use Product Y, and just use what we get from their api now, and worry about changes later.
Me: Hmmm, that's a bit risky, but ok, you the boss, right?, starts again new demo. API doesn't work as documented.
Lots of trial and error to figure out how the api is working now, finally demo works well,
June 17th,
API changed, now it works as documented, (expected as it is experimental), previous demo doesn't work anymore.
June 18th,
Redoing research. inputs are completely different from Product Y now, need to redo all that is working and do and a lot more of research.
Go live is scheduled for end of next week, I hope that the API is stable now, and that I get to go live on schedule.
It is funny to see, that it would probably been the same if we just waited on the API to stabilize, and check the pricing section before choosing a product? Who knows.
Anyways, I actually feel happy that over the years I developed the patience to work with ever changing situations like this one.4 -
I got a new computer recently. I got it with an evo 970. I tried installing the Samsung controller software so that I can view the health of the drive.
No go. Why?
Looked around and everywhere they are saying turn off raid. I checked in bios. Says my drive is not in a raid volume.
Okay, now what?
Look at manual of laptop maker. Says there is a mode that allows you to use either VMD or RAID on the drive. Apparently I was in VMD mode. I had already backed up the computer at this point. Yes, I suspected this was coming. So I changed the mode.
No boot.
Okay, I have Aomei backup and linux boot disk I made using Aomei. Linux boot disk won't boot... Well fuck.
Luckily I have my old computer and a Windows 10 install disk. I install Windows 10 again, install Aomei and proceed to try and restore.
4 hours later... I dunno how long. I went to bed.
Wake up and test.
No boot.
I try disk repair.
No go.
So I boot into Windows 10 install disk to look at partitions. 5 or 6 fucking partitions. It has installed 3 partitions into the space of one.
Delete all the fucking partitions. Cause fuck you!
Okay, lets try this again.
I make a window pe boot disk this time.
It boots.
I do restore while I am at work.
I get home.
No boot.
Check partitions and find only 2. Better than last time.
I try disk repair.
No go.
Search the net. Literally: "Aomei restore no boot"
Someone says, just assign drive letter with drive C using diskpart.
Seriously?! Disk repair couldn't figure this shit out by context?
Seriously doubting this solution.
Solution works...
Now, I am an engineer/programmer/computer genius. I have been learning how to fix this shit for over 30 years.
How the fuck is Joe Bloe ever going to fix an issue like this? I feel sorry for the technically un-inclined. I honestly don't know how neither Aomei nor Microsoft cannot solve restoring disk images by setting a drive letter. How did this not get backed up by Aomei? How did this not get detected as one of the most common problems with a disk restore? Why has this been a problem with Aomei restore for over 3 years? I love Aomei. It works most of the time. But this is terrible. The tech world is definitely a shit show at this point in time.
I also read that VMD actually makes the communication to the drive a bunch faster. Not sure if the samsung drivers do the same. So there may be a tradeoff. Oh well. I can see the temperature of my drives now! Woot!2 -
Hey remote workers.
What would be your advice for someone with experience that's interested in exploring remote work.
I'd like to target this question to remote workers that live outside USA/EU/UK. Say South America, South Asia.
A little introduction.
I'm a full stack engineer, did one project in embedded systems with QT/C++/RPI can do backend in Python, Node, Java, C#. I have some experience with React Native (just 2 apps)
I currently I do full stack with Node, React, postgres and caching with couchdb.
I gather requirements, write the projects, proposals and then I do the implementation. (Really full stack, I kinda like it though, when I'm bored with code I pick up an issue and contact the client to socialize/get answers. I found out that nondevs like to feel they talk to a human not a robot)
I'm making about 600usd/month (dev in a poor country) working 30hrs /week. I'd like to ramp up my income, working remote part time to fill up about 50hr week.
What can I expect?
Where do I start?
Are there part time opportunities for working remote?
What kind of roles are in demand?9 -
Sitting alone in a coffee shop, getting the vibe of the place, letting go.
It's not easy when you're thinking about bugs and missing features. 😫3 -
NPC stereotypical dev: "I self identify as socially awkward."
NPC stereotypical dev: <Gets irrationally angry about friendly banter.>
NPC stereotypical dev: "I hate people who try to interact with me socially."
And knowing is half the battle. GI Joe!1 -
I just want to rant now. Is the limit between rants still enforced? I hope so, I am afraid that I start complaining, I will just not stop. I've been holding up so much by now. Well whatever, I've got used to not complaining for so long, that I just lost all desire to rant.3
-
Freaking deadlines. I just hate them. There's something evil about thinking that you can forecast the future perfectly and even more evil if deadlines are by just eyeballing the problem. I can rant ask day about freaking deadlines.
The emotional consequences of missing a deadlines are a sure way to have everyone feeling guilty. To me is one of the most obnoxious ways of gaslighting.
The name itself, think about it? Why aren't they called Targets? Why freaking deadlines????1 -
I'm calling you out, Asus, fix your absolutely shitty piece of software or I'm never buying a motherboard from you again.
A little explanation: my PC woke up from sleep like this. On another occasion before I could take the screenshot, the CPU was sitting almost idle at 45 degrees C. The CPU fan senses that it has to spin up, but never actually does so.
I've had the opposite thing before - a case fan spinning up not wanting to spin down even if the temps are fine - which is preferable because it only causes a little bit of noise. But this here could potentially cause damage to the CPU if I put some load on it without looking at the temperature. I've partly remedied the issue by writing a batch script that kills and resets the fan control service and is triggered by Task Scheduler on resume from sleep - a thing every average Joe should do, right?
It's a shame for top-notch hardware to have to go together with such crappy piece of software. This is the X99 Sabertooth that cost me 450 EUR originally.
16 -
I just look at a layout like this and see a relational database. Because minus random markers, there is a defined set of relationships some of which can be inferred or taken from OTHER data like.
"Joe travels at 8 am +/- 1 hr 99% of the time, every day of the work week for the last 52 weeks, likely joe is commuting to this location"
or you could just add a schedule table and one item could be marked commute vs a log table of data that is actually happening.
With everything else I see the same things.
I also see a possibility for graph edges and the likej to get out of control really quickly when you start adding event data into it.
so what is the use of graph and whats its really offering ?
any data worthwhile is likely going to have some kind of structure, even if you add ad hoc fields that don't exist, after enough additions those fields should be standardized !
28 -
I discovered today why IOS is superior to joe public. Sorry but infinitely superior. Android just sucks. end of.9
-
I'm so fond of "joe" as the main console editor.
But Arch Linux hasn't it in the repos. Screw you Arch! Keeping Fedora.3 -
Having sex. Or long hot showers. It's amazing how doing either of those helps me unplug for the day and start to refresh my self for the next day of coding.
Context, I used to burnout quiet often. Learning to unplug allowed me to be a better software engineer that could work better over an extended period of time.3 -
Getting ready for another day at work.
They seem to think that scrum is the perfect tool to micromanage their team.
Thanks guys for the creative ideas on how to get back on her, but I'm doing the responsible thing and I'll send them a nice email detailing why that's fucked up and what they need to change.
Adding important words like, "that behaviour is affecting team integrity" or "it demotivates people", "It is counter productive", "it diminishes team performance", "instills fear".
Maybe, or I'll stick to my work hours and wait for my contract termination notice. 🤣 -
Fucking hell! I'm trying to sit down and learn LaTeX so I can take notes with math formulas in the notes. Between work, random bullshit, crappy roommate drama, cats with the zoomies, and the kiddo going nuts wanting to play I just can't catch a fucking break to studying.
I'm torn between drinking a cup of coffee at 10pm to be able to get a chance to study or being able to sleep tonight...
However in the hell did I convince myself that going back to school at 30 would work better than when I was 19-20?!? (I'm still only 29 but shit I loose steam quickly these days 😰)
Lol I'll update the rant here if I drink that cup of 10pm joe!4 -
I was having a weird time playing manager because we had none. And the new one kind of sucks and it is too junior for the role. Acting as TL too and had almost no time to code or do PRs. And. Gee. Yesterday I went back to coding after a few months. And I found out that We have a team member that just shits all over the code. Tests that are invalid, basically testing nothing. Methods done apparently for no reason. It took me a good deal of time to sort things thru. And now I'm at a point where I can finally do some reviews. Long day today.1
-
Bret Victor - Inventing on Principle
Joe Armstrong - The Mess We're In
Jonathan Blow - Ideas about a new programming language for games
I think all my biggest influences are people I've never met... sad.1 -
Motorcycle owners, riders, I need your advice.
I have my licence for quite a few years now, yet I do not own a steel horse. I keep borrowing one [ninja 650 2010] occasionally for a ~100km ride from someone, 2-4 times per season.
A few weeks ago I did a 1k km mototrip around the country. Gotta say, I loved it! Ever since I cannot stop day dreaming about my own bike.
I'm not an aggressive rider. I like it smooth, steady, comfortable, but with some proper kick occasionally. I'd be riding in a city and taking longer trips [500+km], preferrably with a passenger.
Cruisers are awfully large, city bikes look boring, choppers are loud. Supersports - not my cup of joe. I think I'm settling for the sport-touring class.
Since I don't have lots of xp, it's likely I'll fall, so new and shiny or expensive toys will have to wait.
I feel like falling in love with vfr800 late gen6 [2007-'09], with fine-tuned vtec. I love all the feedback about the steadiness, comfort and power. And it does look cool!
What are your opinions about the vfr? What are the drawbacks?
What other bikes should I look at, that would have similar specs to vfr?
Also, when is it better to buy one? At the end of the season or at the beginning [spring/autumn]?1 -
!rant !dev
So, following up my last rant.
https://devrant.com/rants/2433162
I quit on Friday, this is what I said to my bosses.
"In the last week I had, 2 panic attacks, and I have 2 theories for this, one is that I have underlying psychological problems, the other theory is that we are under an impossible task, I choose to say now that I have to quit because I have psychological issues, but if you are willing to hear my other theory, that involves saying that meeting the deadline is not viable, then I can tell you that, so do want to listen that part?.
Bosses: No, we heard enough, we are going to have your contract terminated in order, and we will let you know when you can come and pick your paycheck."
So, that's them. Now about me and how I re-discovered GTD, or more precisely how I organized my whole weekend using taskwarrior with GTD, and why I think is going to be useful as a freelancer.
Before I feel good about telling you about my weekend I have to tell you a few things about myself.
I am a very impulsive person, I have a lot of energy in short surges, so I have to be able to maximize my activity when I'm in a surge, and I have to maximize my rest when I am not.
That's hard to do, it requires a balanced lifestyle, I am also very prone to being neurotic, and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that I want to do.
And on top of that, when I am resting, I have surges of things that I want to have, do, or implement, it could be software related, as "Doing an app that will be the Uber of home services", to house improvements like, "I have to fix that leaking roof", and all the sort of stuff that happens in between hardware and software. That surge of consciousness doesn't allow me to have the proper rest that I need before I engage with activities again.
Because of this I have a very cyclic rhythm, with whole weeks burning my energy into doing stuff, and weeks resting doing very little and thinking too much.
Now about my weekend. Friday night I was browsing the web, and a thought came to my head. "The way you use your terminal, says a lot about your personality", and I got curious, so I searched for, "Show me your terminal", and found a post in dev.to to see all kind of nice terminal setups, from the very minimalist to very feature rich oh-my-zsh themes with plugins for git, aws and what not. One of these pictures really got my attention, a guy had set up his terminal to show him, how many task has he done in the day, and how many cups of coffee has he had.
So by investigating how he set up his terminal to show in the prompt the number of successfully completed tasks in the day, I found out that he was using taskwarrior, he was also kind enough to share the source code of his prompt setup, which I bookmarked to later incorporate that into my oh-my-zsh config.
After reading about taskwarrior, I also got a reference to GTD, I don't remember if this was one of those thoughts that I have and follow immediately, or if I read something that led me to a YouTube video summarizing GTD.
In the end, after watching that GTD video, I decided to give it a try to organize my life, and help me find a remote job, keep my house in order, plan my social activities as "hang out with friends", "visit mom and dad", and give the proper amount of attention to my GF, with whom I am deeply in love, and willing to spend the remaining of my years with her.
So my fist task was.
task add Ask for GF's parents blessing.
Which of course I have no intention of doing right now, but is one of the things that I will eventually have to do.
Then it started, I started adding tasks, and things to do, and go through the whole Capture phase of GTD.
Now it is a good time to write a small summary of what I think GTD is.
GTD is a life habit of organizing your life in todo-lists. And it was a very specific core method, that in the video summary that I watched was called CPR.
Capture, Process and Review.
Capture:
When you capture you just add your tasks to a bucket list.
So I took a notebook and started writing down everything that I wanted to have done. I also started to capture ideas as they came up to me, I did this by writing a telegram saved message in my phone, or directly adding it as a task in TW.
Process:
I read my telegram messages and put them into my task warrior list, then I started to organize my tasks into projects, breaking down every task that was not an atomic unit.
* And different projects started to emerge from this. One of them was project:Housekeeping.
And here's my screenshot of what I did this weekend, also the number of projects that I have, and all the things that I have to do in order to have what I think would be a very balanced, fun, and productive life.
You'll be able to see in the screenshot, that there's a blocked task, yes, tw allows you to organize dependencies too, so one task is delegated, and blocked by the delegation task.
1 -
I was working at one of my dad's friends during vacations, he asked me to build a flash form and make it send an email.
And so I followed a tutorial, and from then, I wanted to know what the guy that wrote the tutorial knew. And that's that. -
Bo bo bo have you seen Joe?
Nah just kidding, but what the dev rant plus or sponsor tag or what ever its called, what its features?4 -
I joined this community because I found a marine that was telling brilliant luser anecdotes.
I didn't subscribe to him though.
Rings any bell? I'd like to suscribe to his rants now, but I can't find him.9 -
Joe Armstrong.
Because he gave us Psychobitch (https://youtube.com/watch/...)
His British humor,... just watch some talks..1
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