"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"

So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.

First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.

So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.

Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?

I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.

Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?

"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"

So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.

More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!

I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.

And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.

"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."

You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!

"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."

I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.

So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.

You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.

Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...

Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.

Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.

Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.

Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.

Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.

Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.

Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.

Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.

Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.

Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.

Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]

----

What. The. Fuck.

One of our web developers reported a bug with my image api that shrunk large images to a thumbnail size. Basically looked like this img = ResizeImage(largeImage, 50); // shrink the image by 50%
The 'bug' was when he was passed in the thumbnail image and requesting a 300% increase, and the image was too pixelated.
I tried to explain that if you need the larger image, use the image from disk (since the images were already sized optimally for display) and the api was just for resizing downward.
Thinking I was done, the next day I was called into a large conference room with the company vice-president, two of the web-dev managers, and several of the web developers.
VP: "I received an alarming email saying you refused to fix that bug in your code. Is that correct?"
Me: "Bug? No, there is no bug. The image api is executing just as it is supposed to."
MGR1: "Uh...no it isn't. Images using *your* code is pixelated and unfit for our site and our customers."
MGR2: "Yes, I looked at your code and don't understand what the big deal is. Looks like a simple fix."
<web developers nodding their heads>
Me: "OK, I'll bite. What is the simple fix?"
<MGR2 looks over at one of the devs>
Dev1: "Well, for example, if we request an image resize of 300, and the image is only 50x50, only increase the size by 10. Maybe 15."
Me: "Wow..OK. So what if the image is, for example, 640x480?"
MGR1: "75. Maybe 80 if it's a picture of boots."
VP: "Oh yes, boots. We need good pictures of boots."
Me: "I'm not exactly sure how to break this to you, but my code doesn't do 'maybe'. I mean, you have the image from disk.
You obviously used the api to create the thumbnail, but are trying to use the thumbnail to go back to the regular size. Why not use the original image?"
<Web-Dev managers look awkwardly towards the web devs>
Dev3: "Yea, well uh...um...that would require us to create a variable or something to store the original image. The place in the code where we need the regular image, it's easier to call your method."
Me: "Um, not really. You still have to resolve the product name from the URL path. Deriving the original file name is what you are doing already. Just do the same thing in your part of the code."
Dev2: "But we'd have to change our code"
Mgr2: "I know..I know. How about if we, for example, send you 12345.jpg and request a resize greater than 100, you go to disk and look for that image?"
<VP, mgrs, and devs nod happily>
Me: "Um, no that won't work. All I see is the image stream. I have no idea what file is and the api shouldn't be guessing, going to disk or anything like that."
Dev1: "What if we pass you the file name?"
<VP, mgrs, and devs nod happily again>
Me: "No, that would break the API contract and ...uh..wait...I'm familiar with your code. How about I make the change? I'm pretty sure I'll only have to change one method"
VP: "What! No...it’s gotta be more than that. Our site is huge."
<Mgrs and devs grumble and shift around in their chairs>
Me: "I'm done talking about this. I can change your code for you or you can do it. There is no bug and I'm not changing the api because you can't use it correctly."

Later I discovered they stopped using the resize api and wrote dynamic html to 'resize' the images on the client (download the 5+ meg images, and use the length and width properties)

Good Morning!, its time for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!

Todays contestant is a very special one.

*sitcom audience: WHY?*

Glad you asked, you see if you were to look at his linkedin profile, you would see a job title unlike any you've seen before.

*sitcom audience oooooooohhhhhh*

were not talking software developer, engineer, tech lead, designer, CTO, CEO or anything like that, No No our new entrant "G" surpasses all of those with the title ..... "Software extraordinaire".

*sitcom audience laughs hysterically*

I KNOW!, wtf does that even mean! as a previous dev-ranter pointed out does this mean he IS quality code? I'd say he's more like a trash can ... where his code belongs

*ba dum tsssss*

Ok ok, lets get on with the show, heres some reasons why "G" is on the show:

One of G's tasks was to build an analytics gathering library for iOS, similar to google analytics where you track pages and events (we couldn't use google's). G was SO good at this job he implemented 2 features we didn't even ask for:

- If the library was unable to load its config file (for any reason) it would throw an uncatchable system integrity error, crashing the app.
- If anything was passed into any of the functions that wasn't expected (null, empty array etc.) it would crash the app as it was "more efficient" to not do any sanity checks inside the library.

This caused a lot of issues as some of the data needed to come from the clients server. The day we launched the app, within the first 3 hours we had over 40k crash logs and a VERY angry client.

Now, what makes this story important is not the bugs themselves, come on how many times have we all done something stupid? No the issue here was G defended all of this as the right thing to do!

.. and no he wasn't stoned or drunk!

G claimed if he couldn't get the right settings / params he wouldn't be able to track the event and then our CEO wouldn't have our usage data. To which I replied:

"So your solution was to not give the client an app instead? ... which also doesn't give the CEO his data".

He got very angry and asked me "what would you do then?". I offered a solution something like why not have a default tag for "error" or "unknown" where if theres an issue, we send up whatever we have, plus the file name and store it somewhere else. I was told I was being ridiculous as it wasn't built to track anything like that and that would never work ... his solution? ... pull the library out of the app and forget it.

... once again giving everyone no data.

G later moved onto another cross-platform style project. Backend team were particularly unhappy as they got no spec of what needed to be done. All they knew was it was a single endpoint dealing with very complex model. There was no Java classes, super classes, abstract classes or even interfaces, just this huge chunk of mocked data. So myself and the lead sat down with him, and asked where the interfaces for the backend where, or designs / architecture for them etc.

His response, to this day frightens me ... not makes me angry, not bewilders me ... scares the living shit out of me that people like this exist in the world and have successful careers.

G: "hhhmmm, I know how to build an interface, but i've never understood them ... Like lets say I have an interface, what now? how does that help me in any way? I can't physically use it, does it not just use up time building it for no reason?"

us: "... ... how are the backend team suppose to understand the model, its types, integrate it into the other systems?"

G: "Can I not just tell them and they can write it down?"

**
I'll just pause here for a moment, as you'll likely need to read that again out of sheer disbelief
**

I've never seen someone die inside the way the lead did. He started a syllable and his face just dropped, eyes glazed over and he instantly lost all the will to live. He replied:

" wel ............... it doesn't matter ... its not important ... I have to go, good luck with the project"

*killed the screen share and left the room*

now I know you are all dying in suspense to know what happened to that project, I can drop the shocking bombshell that it was in fact cancelled. Thankfully only ~350 man hours were spent on it

... yep, not a typo.

G's crowning achievement however will go down in history. VERY long story short, backend got deployed to the server and EVERYTHING broke. Lead investigated, found mistakes and config issues on every second line, load balancer wasn't even starting up. When asked had this been tested before it was deployed:

G: "Yeah I tested it on my machine, it worked fine"

lead: "... and on the server?"

G: "no, my machine will do the same thing"

lead: "do you have a load balancer and multiple VM's?"

G: "no, but Java is Java"

... and with that its time to end todays episode. Will G be our most incompetent? ... maybe.

Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

Its Friday, you all know what that means! ... Its results day for practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!

*audience: wwwwwwooooooooo!!!!*

We've had a bewildering array of candidates, lets remind ourselves:

- a psychopath that genuinely scared me a little
- a CEO I would take pleasure seeing in pain
- a pothead who mistook me for his drug dealer
- an unbelievable idiot
- an arrogant idiot obsessed with strings

Tough competition, but there can be only one ... *drum roll* ... the winner is ... none of them!

*audience: GASP!*
*audience member: what?*
*audience member: no way!*
*audience member: your fucking kidding me!*

Sir calm down! this is a day time show, no need for that ... let me explain, there is a winner ... but we've kept him till last and for a good reason

*audience: ooooohhhhh*

You see our final contestant and ultimate winner of this series is our good old friend "C", taking the letters of each of our previous contestants, that spells TRAGIC which is the only word to explain C.

*audience: laughs*

Oh I assure you its no laughing matter. C was with us for 6 whole months ... 6 excruciatingly painful months.

Backstory:

We needed someone with frontend, backend and experience with IoT devices, or raspberry PI's. We didn't think we'd get it all, but in walked an interviewee with web development experience, a tiny bit of Angular and his masters project was building a robot device that would change LED's depending on your facial expressions. PERFECT!!!

... oh to have a time machine

Working with C:

- He never actually did the tutorials I first set him on for Node.js and Angular 2+ because they were "too boring". I didn't find this out until some time later.

- The first project I had him work on was a small dashboard and backend, but he decided to use Angular 1 and a different database than what we were using because "for me, these are easier".

- He called that project done without testing / deploying it in the cloud, despite that being part of the ticket, because he didn't know how. Rather than tell or ask anyone ... he just didn't do it and moved on.

- As part of his first tech review I had to explain to him why he should be using if / else, rather than just if's.

- Despite his past experience building server applications and dashboards (4 years!), he never heard of a websocket, and it took a considerable amount of time to explain.

- When he used a node module to open a server socket, he sat staring at me like a deer caught in headlights completely unaware of how to use / test it was working. I again had to explain it and ultimately test it for him with a command line client.

- He didn't understand the need to leave logging inside an application to report errors. Because he used to ... I shit you not ... drive to his customers, plug into their server and debug their application using a debugger.

... props for using a debugger, but fuck me.

- Once, after an entire 2 days of tapping me on the shoulder every 15 mins for questions / issues, I had to stop and ask:

Me: "Have you googled it?"
C: "... eh, no"
Me: "can I ask why?"
C: "well, for me, I only google for something I don't know"
Me: "... well do you know what this error message means?"
C: "ah good point, i'll try this time"

... maybe he was A's stoner buddy?

- He burned through our free cloud usage allowance for a month, after 1 day, meaning he couldn't test anything else under his account. He left an application running, broadcasting a lot of data. Turns out the on / off button on the dashboard only worked for "on". He had been killing his terminal locally and didn't know how to "ctrl + c a cloud app" ... so left it running. His intention was to restart the app every time you are done using it ... but forgot.

- His issue with the previous one ... not any of his countless mistakes, not the lack of even trying to make the button work, no, no, not for C. C's issue is the cloud is "shit" for giving us such little allowances. (for the record in a month I had never used more than 5%).

- I had to explain environment variables and why they are necessary for passwords and tokens etc. He didn't know it wasn't ok to commit these into GitHub.

- At his project meetups with partners I had to repeatedly ask him to stop googling gifs and pay attention to the talks.

- He complained that we don't have 3 hour lunch breaks like his last place.

- He once copied and pasted the same function 450 times into a file as a load test ... are loops too mainstream nowadays?

You see C is our winner, because after 6 painful months (companies internal process / requirements) he actually achieved nothing. I really mean that, nothing. Every thing was so broken, so insecure / wide open, built without any kind of common sense or standards I had to delete it all and start again ... it took me 2 weeks.

I hope you've all enjoyed this series and will join me in praying for the return of my sanity ... I do miss it a lot.

Yours truly,
practiseSafeHex

I'm at my seat during the regular morning routine of checking emails, planning the things I need to complete/study when my phone rings.

HR: Good Morning, can you come over to the conference room please ?

Me: Sure

I enter the conference room and on the other side of the table, I see a group of 3 HR Managers (not a very nice feeling), especially when it was 10 months into my first job as a Trainee Software Developer.

HR: The company hasn't been performing as expected. For this reason, we've been told to cut down our staff. We're sorry but we have to let you go. You've been doing a great job all along. Thank you.

Me: ---- (seriously ?!)

The security-in-chief 'escorts' me out of the premises and I hand over the badge. I'm not allowed to return to my desk.

This happened about 16 years ago. But it stuck with me throughout my programming career.

A couple of Lessons Learnt which may help some of the developers today :

- You're not as important as you think, no matter what you do and how well you do it.
- Working hard is one thing, working smart is another. You'll understand the difference when your appraisals comes around each year.
- Focus on your work but always keep an eye on your company's health.
- Be patient with your Manager; if you're having a rough time, its likely he/she is suffering more.
- Programming solo is great fun. However it takes other skills that are not so interesting, to earn a living.
- You may think the Clients sounds stupid, talks silly and demands the stars; ever wonder what they think about you.
- When faced with a tough problem, try to 'fix' the Client first, then look for a solution.
- If you hate making code changes, don't curse the Client or your Manager - we coders collectively created a world of infinite possibilities. No point blaming them.
- Sharing your ideas matter.
- Software Development is a really long chain of ever-growing links that you may grok rather late in your career. But its still worth all the effort if you enjoy it.

I like to think of programming as a pursuit that combines mathematical precision and artistic randomness to create some pretty amazing stuff.

Thanks for reading.

The spam denier
_____

An old phone conversation with a client:

Me : Hello

Client : My website and server are suspended? why is that?

Me : Your server sends spam messages.

Client : We do not send spam messages, we are on vacation, there is none in the office.

Me : Yes, but it is not necessarily you, according to our logs, your server sent spam messages in Chinese and Russian, so someone from Russia or China....etc.

Client : I do not believe you, we do not speak russian or chinese, how could we then write spam messages in those languages?

Me : I told you, maybe someone exploited some vulnerability in your website or server firewall. And if you want to activate your services, please check with your webmaster and sysadmin to secure your ....

Client: I tell you my son, because I am old and I have more life experience than you ... I am 60 years old and I tell you, spam does not exist, and YOU suspended my website and server, and created issues to sell me more of your solutions and services.

I won't check my server, I won't hire a webmaster or a sysadmin, AND YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY SERVER NOW !

(I suddenly realized that I am talking to a wall, so I switched to a robotic tone).

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services..

Client : YOU WILL ACTIVATE MY S...

Me : Please resolve the issue to activate your services...

Client : WHAT IS THIS SPAM STORY ANYWAY, I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ...

Me : Please google that word and you will understand what is spam is...

Client : YOU ARE F**ING LIARS, SPAM DOES NOT EXIST... ACTIVATE MY WEBSITE N.... Beeeep !

I hang up.

Well, I thought about configuring an automatic response for this client, or a for-loop.

His voice was really unpleasant, as if he is a heavy smoker.

Client: Why is this not working?

Me: Because the feature expect a...

Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.

Me: Ok...

Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?

Me: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Client: I need a response!

Me: It is not working because...

Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...

Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.

Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...

Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...

Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)

Client : Can you make some adblock?
Me : Why? There is a lot of good things already...
C : I mean... Listen carefully.
M : ok
C: i have some google ads and user blocks with adblock
M : yeah, that is normal
C : so i implemented adblock blocker which blocks adblock so that i can show the webpage plus ads when the user disables adblock.
M : i bet users hate that.
C : yeah, so users found out a way to disable adblock blocker which disables adblock blocker which i implemented to show the ads! So i cant earn revenue..
M : so what?
C : Can you make ad block block block block?
M : Sure. How much will you give me ?
C : 20 to 30 dollars
M : great ( the most generous client ever seen)

*couple of years later*

Client : can you make ad block block block block block block block block block block?
Me : i cant understand
C : count the number of block
If there is odd number of block i means to block ads.
If there is even number of block ads, it means to show ads making user to disable ads.
M : so just tldr your request this time
C : even number
M : ok how much will you pay
C : 20 to 30 dollars

*next day*
C : can you..
M : offline

Who in the fucking world made ads, made adblock and made adblock block?

It finally hit me the other day.
I'm working on an IoT project for a late-stage ALS patient. The setup is that he has a tablet he controls with his eye movements, and he wants to be able to control furnishings in his room without relying on anyone else.
I set up a socket connection between his tablet and the Raspberry Pi. From there it was a simple matter of using GPIO to turn a lamp or fan on or off. I did the whole thing in C, even the socket programming on the Pi.
As I was finishing up the main control of the program on the Pi I realized that I need to be more certain of this than anything I've ever done before.
If something breaks, the client may be forced to go days without being able to turn his room light on, or his fan off.
Understand he is totally trapped in his own body so it's not like he can simply turn the fan off. The nursing staff are not particularly helpful and his wife is tied up a lot with work and their two small children so she can't spend all day every day doting on him.
Think of how annoying it is when you're trying to sleep and someone turns the light on in your room; now imagine you can't turn it off yourself, and it would take you about twenty minutes to tell someone to turn it off -- that is once you get their attention, again without being able to move any part of your body except your eyes.
As programmers and devs, it's a skill to do thorough testing and iron-out all the bugs. It is an entirely different experience when your client will be depending on what you're doing to drastically improve his quality of life, by being able to control his comfort level directly without relying on others -- that is, to do the simplest of tasks that we all take for granted.
Giving this man some independence back to his life is a huge honor; however, it carries the burden of knowing that I need to be damned confident in what I am doing, and that I have designed the system to recover from any catastrophe as quickly as possible.

In case you were wondering how I did it all: The Pi launches a wrapper for the socket connection on boot.
The wrapper launches the actual socket connection in a child process, then waits for it to exit. When the socket connection exits, the wrapper analyzes the cause for the exit.
If the socket connection exited safely -- by passing a special command from the tablet to the Pi -- then the wrapper exits the main function, which allows updating the Pi. If the socket connection exited unexpectedly, then the Pi reboots automatically -- which is the fastest way to return functionality and to safeguard against any resource leaks.
The socket program itself launches its own child process, which is an executable on the Pi. The data sent by the tablet is the name of the executable on the Pi. This allows a dynamic number of programs that can be controlled from the tablet, without having to reprogram the Pi, except for loding the executable onto it. If this child of the socket program fails, it will not disrupt its parent process, which is the socket program itself.

[Thursday afternoon on a call...]

Client: Before we get started, can you create a sitescape outlining all of the pages and sections of the new website?

Me: Sure! I'll go through the website and shoot you a full layout in xls format as soon as possible, that way you can easily make notes on what you want added, modified or removed.

[Two hours later...]

Client: Hey, did you build that sitescape yet?

Me: Actually, I've been on back-to-back calls with other clients.

Client: So when are you going to get it done?

Me: Well, I have to go through the current website in it's entirety, which I'm guessing is about 1,000 pages. I have to determine which pages work fine on their own, which need to be combined for better presentation and which should be removed due to redundancy. That's something that is tedious and takes some time to complete. That, in combination with having an existing work queue that I need to fit you within and being at the end of the work week, we're looking at Tuesday morning to have it ready.

Client: "Existing work queue"? This is ridiculous. We're paying you good money to make our project your only priority. If we wanted to wait days for work, we would have saved money and paid for a cheaper service. You're already gouging us as it is! If we don't get the sitescape by end of day Friday, we're going with another company.

Me: I would tell you that I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm not. I'm not going to feed you a line to make you happy. I'm also not going to work on my days off just to rush something out to you. You hired us because you wanted things done right, not quickly. Your current website is the result of not focusing on quality, but by how fast you can deliver it. We don't work that way. We only build quality products.

By rushing your project, not only do we alienate our current clients, affecting our reputation, but we build product of less than the highest quality. That will upset you because it isn't perfect, and it reflects poorly on us to use it in our portfolio.

If you want to hire someone to pump out this project to your unrealistic deadlines, be our guest. But you paid a 50% non-refundable deposit, so not only will you lose money, but your end product will suffer.

I'm going to let you sleep on this. If you decide tomorrow that another direction is the way to go, we wish you luck. But please understand that if we conclude our business, we will no longer make ourselves available for your needs.

Please find the attached contracts you have signed, acknowledging the non-refundable deposit, as well as the project timeline and scope, of which a "sitescape" was never originally mentioned or blocked out for time.

I hope that tomorrow we can move forward in a more professional manner.

[Next morning...]

Client: My apologies for yesterday. We're just very anxious to get this started.

-----

Don't let clients push you around. Make them sign a contract and enforce it whenever necessary.

I'm a little late to this, but that Python master/slave issue.. what the fuck is up with that?!

You say that you're offended by words.
=> Fuck off. If you want to serve social justice, help people in third-world countries that need your help.
=> Also, you do realize that the use of master/slave is just as much applicable to technology as client/server or host/guest are, right? It's a relationship between fucking machines or code blocks, not humans.

You say "why the outrage over this?"
=> Fuck off. Your SJW bullshit has no place in technology. It's a fucking word in fucking code!!!

You say that you're improving the Python project with this.
=> Fuck off. It breaks existing documentation and needlessly abstracts terminology that is used pretty much everywhere. What do you prefer, conciseness and a language to be easy to understand or for it to become all cushioned to soothe your frail feelings?

You know, there's something else that I wanted to talk about that's related to this. I have Asperger Syndrome, which on paper is a disability. In practice it's difficulty to socialize while having an above average IQ. That "disability" is what drove me into technology. When I see job listings actively prefer people with disabilities for social justice, you know what? That offends ME. Because I wouldn't want to be chosen as the best applicant just because it ticks social justice boxes. I want to be chosen as the best applicant because I outcompeted every other applicant with actual skill and fitness to do my job.

Also, when a company sells you a defective unit, would you be happy? Of course not. So why are you happy when they employ a defective? I am someone that would - on paper - be impeded by natural selection, because I am "handicapped". But I'm all for it. Humanity is what it is today - shit - partly because defectives have become widely accepted into society. Call me a bigot, but I'd rather be called that than to not raise concerns about this trend.

On the subject of handicaps, that's a term that's used in games, what for aiding the player that can't win against the regular opponent (which is usually just a fucking bot, wtf yo). I am handicapped, therefore YOU shouldn't use the word in a sense where it's totally reasonable to use it!! Says no one ever, me neither. Grow a fucking pair and realize that code isn't written with the intent to offend anyone. So why are you?

Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:

practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.

Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team

It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...

<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>

Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.

So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:

- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole

So lets look at some example of their work:

- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"

- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"

- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"

- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.

- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"

Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them

Thats all the time we have for today,

Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:

- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead

See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex

Client : your design is not cool. See this ^
*showed me some pretty neat designs pattern*

Me: which type do you want for your application.?

Client : All are pretty cool. Isn't it?

Me : Yes. But you do not need all of them. Right?

Client : Yes.

Me : So, which one.

Client : I'm confused But, this will do.

Me : Sure?

Client : Yes, very much.

After 3 days.

Client : you know what, earlier one was simple one but, best one. Easy to understand. This is (new design) making it complex. I need previous one.

Me : (I knew you'll say that, a**hole.) Just go to setting and select theme section to earlier version.

Client : thank you man.

Me : (You are red listed in my book you a**hole. Say anything else to add/edit and then see.) You are welcome.

Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.

Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!

At the Offshore Development Centre,

Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client:

So I own a webshop together with a guy I met at one of my previous contract jobs. He said he had a great idea to sell product X because he can get them very cheap from another European country. Actually it is a great idea so we decided to work together on this: I do everything tech related, he does the non tech stuff.

Now we are more than 1 year in business. I setup a VPS, completely configured it, installed and setup the complete webshop, built 2 custom PrestaShop modules, built many customizations, built a completely new order proces (both front and back end), advertised quite some products, did some link building, ensured everything is in place to do proper SEO, wrote some content pages, did administration and tax declarations, rewrote a part of a PrestaShop component because it was so damn inefficient and horribly slow, and then some more. Much more.

He did customer relation management, supplier management and some ad words campaigns. Promised me many times to write the content for our product pages. This guy has an education in marketing but literally said: I'm not gonna invest in creating some marketing plan. I have no ambition in online marketing.

What?! You have the marketing knowledge and skills but refuse to use it to market our webshop and business? What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Today he says to me: 'Hey man, this is becoming an expensive hobby as we don't sell much and have lots of costs. I don't understand why I should be the one to write these content pages. Everything you did in the past 8 months can be done in less than 20 hours! You are a joke and just made it a big deal by spreading your work over so many months. I know for sure because I currently work at a company where I'm surrounded by front end devs! Are you fucking crazy?! You're a liar.'

He talks like this to me every 2 months or so while he can't even deliver the content for 1 single product in 6 fuckin' months! We even had to refund a few of our customers because Mr. client relations manager didn't respond to their e-mails within 1 fucking week!! So I asked him how could that have happened as you do the client relations and support. Well, he replied to me: 'Why didn't YOU respond to our clients? You don't log on in our back office at least once a day?!'.

Of course I do asshole. But YOU don't. He replied that I was lying just like I was lying about what I did for our business.

So, asshole, let's have a look at PrestaShops logs to see who's logging in daily. Well, you can probably guess who's IP was there in most of the entries. It wasn't his.

So, what the fuck have you been doing then?! You can't even manage to respond quickly to a client?!! We have maybe 50 clients and if we get 1 question a month by email it is already a lot. But you keep bitching, complaining and insulting me instead?!!!

Last time he literally admitted on a WhatsApp conversation that he had and still has the hope that he could just sit back and relax and watch me do ALL the work.

Well, guess what you fucking moron. That's not what we agreed upon. You fuckin' retard think you're so smart but you say EVERYTHING on WhatsApp! Including your promises to me. Thank you you fuckin' piece of dog shit because now I have hard evidence and will hand it over to my lawyer to make you pay every god damn cent for all the hours I've spent working on our business. Oh, and I'll take over the webshop and make it a success on my own because I know damn well how to get relevant traffic and thus customers.

You just go get yourself fucked in the ass without lubricant you fuckin' asshole. I have told you you shouldn't fuck with me because I take business very seriously. I even warned you when you were crossing a line again. Well, if you don't listen... You will pay for the consequences. I will be so damn happy to tell you 'I told you so' with a very very big smile on my face. That momemt WILL come, 'partner'.

Fuck you. You will be fucked. Count on that. Fucking asshole.

Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with

Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent

I usually don't work for indian clients. But when I do, they make sure I don't get paid.

Some highlights from my last project,

Client: Do you know ERPnext?

Me: No, but I am good at python.

Client: My boss wants me to find a guy who can create barcode generator for erpnext.

Me: I can use pyBarcode to do it.
This is exciting I thought. I get to learn a new framework. Start working on it. Not an hour passes by,

Client: hey can you remove this menu item?
Me: Which one?
Client: Also can you add the dashboard icons to left sidebar? Like Odoo? Do you know it? It is also python based.
Me: Then why don't you just use Odoo instead?
Client: My boss wants it. He doesn't understand computers. He is pissing mr off.
Me: Then how come he suggested erpnext?
Client: His friend told him.
*experience mindfuck*

For the next 3 days he has me working on these UI tweaks, never mentions barcode again.

But I finish the barcode stuff. Tripple check everything to make sure they work. Tell him to check so I can get paid. Guy asks his boss to check.

Boss > Client: It doesn't work
Me: What doesn't work?
Boss > Client: Everything!
Client: I actually tested everything and they work. My boss doesn't know how to use it. He is very old.

Makes me make more changes and finally when I ask for the work done so far,
Client: Boss didn't come to office today. I'll get you paid. Please try to understand my situation.

Me thinking, "mofo your boss didn't hire me,l. You did". But I keep calm and tell him I won't work until I get paid 50%.

3 days passed. No reply. Set his skype status to "Away" forever.

*spidey sense tells me I'm not getting paid, again*

U am beyond pissed and burnt out. I fucking wish there was a mafia I can request to collect my fucking money from them.

Tldr : In my country, there is always a middleman .It is so rare to work for end client directly and it is very common to be fuck over by them, because they want milk you out as much as possible

Job description : Salary range from X to Y

Me : I expect 90% of Y $
HR : if you pass technical examination we can agree on this amount.

*Technical interview*
All correct answers, perfect match with stack etc.

HR calling next day:
HR: Great job on interview, but you need to lower your financial expectation to X (around 50% of Y)
Me: Why? We have spoken the other day and you said there would be no problem with the money. I nailed the interview, I don't understand why I should agree to lower wage.
HR: I know I know, but right now we cannot give more. Maybe later
Me: I am sorry, but I feel kinda cheated. For me this is red flag since I don't know what I can expect later if you are not sincere from the beginning. I won't take your offer, goodbye.

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview

And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')

Client: "the content is pretty confusing and inconsistent. Would you say the frontend is ready?"

Me:"please do not ask that way."

Client: "i just asked a question. What do you mean?"

Me: "well.. you basically say that is bad and then asked me if I thought it was bad."

Client:" i was asking a question. It is your problem if you find that offensive. You were to deliver a finished design until 3pm. "

Me:"you just reviewed it and came up with new input..and apart from that there were just some buttons in the wrong shade."

Client:"yes but I expect that kind of critical input from the developer. "

Me: "I understand, but this was a tiny project for 300 cash. I can't go all out on a budget like this. "

Client:"but all the other jobs I gave you lately were paid much better.."

Me: "yes. Those were other jobs, right? Should I feel obliged to work overtime I eager expectation of more and different work?"

Client: "you used to be more excitable...."

:/

In my opinion, business as usual.

1. Work from home if possible. Cars fuck up the environment and no one likes traffic jams, use transportation sparingly. Pandemic or not.

2. I never want to shake the filthy sweaty hands of untrusted peasants, I don't care if you're a CEO representing our biggest client. An acknowledging nod is sufficient.

3. Why the FUCK do I feel sneeze droplets raining down the escalator? I don't care WHAT you're infected with, just sneeze in your elbow. No, don't sneeze in your hand either you dimwitted mongrel, because too many people insist on ignoring rule 2.

4. The news just taught you how to wash your hands? You mean, you didn't learn that in elementary school?

5. Pandemic or not, if you're sick, fucking stay at home. Why do people suddenly need a "policy" for this? Wasn't this always the common sense rule? Employers who don't send sick workers home actively sabotage their own business, even when it's "just a mild flu".

6. Keep some distance from me in public whenever possible. Again, pandemic or not... It's called personal space.

7. I understand that wearing mouth masks is not culturally integrated in the west like it is in Japan, but maybe it should be. Not for egocentric self preservation when you're healthy, but out of politeness to the public when you're sick. They actually work much better for that purpose, and it decreases the chance I will break your neck when you violate point 3.

I'm not a total germaphobe. I'll gladly engage in a filthy orgy with a dozen friends... As long as they've showered, aren't coughing, and don't have snot running down their chins.

The general hygiene level of the population is so fucking awful.

Pandemic, or not, it doesn't matter.

received a bug report from a client on a mobile app.

title: bug on information page.
description: all text field make first​ letter capital.

*what! this is your keyboard, stupid!

after he didn't understand, I made a text change listener, and make the first letter lowercase, he is happy. heheh 😨

Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
-------

Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."

Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."

Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "

-__-""""

The tech stack at my current gig is the worst shit I’ve ever dealt with...

I can’t fucking stand programs, especially browser based programs, to open new windows. New tab, okay sure, ideally I just want the current tab I’m on to update when I click on a link.

Ticketing system: Autotask
Fucking opens up with a crappy piss poor sorting method and no proper filtering for ticket views. Nope you have to go create a fucking dashboard to parse/filter the shit you want to see. So I either have to go create a metric-arse tonne of custom ticket views and switch between them or just use the default turdburger view. Add to that that when I click on a ticket, it opens another fucking window with the ticket information. If I want to do time entry, it just feels some primal need to open another fucking window!!! Then even if I mark the ticket complete it just minimizes the goddamn second ticket window. So my jankbox-supreme PC that my company provided gets to strugglepuff along trying to keep 10 million chrome windows open. Yeah, sure 6GB of ram is great for IT work, especially when using hot steaming piles of trashjuice software!

I have to manually close these windows regularly throughout the day or the system just shits the bed and halts.

RMM tool: Continuum
This fucker takes the goddamn soggy waffle award for being utterly fucking useless. Same problem with the windows as autotask except this special snowflake likes to open a login prompt as a full-fuck-mothering-new window when we need to open a LMI rescue session!!! I need to enter a username and a password. That’s it! I don’t need a full screen window to enter credentials! FUCK!!! Btw the LMI tools only work like 70% of the time and drag ass compared to literally every other remote support tool I’ve ever used. I’ve found that it’s sometimes just faster to walk someone through enabling RDP on their system then remoting in from another system where LMI didn’t decide to be fully suicidal and just kill itself.

Our fucking chief asshat and sergeant fucknuts mcdoogal can’t fucking setup anything so the antivirus software is pushed to all client systems but everything is just set to the default site settings. Absolutely zero care or thought or effort was put forth and these gorilla spunk drinking, rimjob jockey motherfuckers sell this as a managed AntiVirus.

We use a shitty password manager than no one besides I use because there is a fully unencrypted oneNote notebook that everyone uses because fuck security right? “Sometimes it’s just faster to have the passwords at the ready without having to log into the password manager.” Chief Asshat in my first week on the job.

Not to mention that windows server is unlicensed in almost every client environment, the domain admin password is same across multiple client sites, is the same password to log into firewalls, and office 365 environments!!!

I’ve brought up tons of ways to fix these problems, but they have their heads so far up their own asses getting high on undeserved smugness since “they have been in business for almost ten years”. Like, Whoop Dee MotherFucking Doo! You have only been lucky to skate by with this dumpster fire you call a software stack, you could probably fill 10 olympic sized swimming pools to the brim with the logarrhea that flows from your gullets not only to us but also to your customers, and you won’t implement anything that is good for you, your company, or your poor clients because you take ten minutes to try and understand something new.

I’m fucking livid because I’m stuck in a position where I can’t just quit and work on my business full time. I’m married and have a 6m old baby. Between both my wife and I working we barely make ends meet and there’s absolutely zero reason that I couldn’t be providing better service to customers without having to lie through my teeth to them and I could easily support my family and be about 264826290461% happier!

But because we make so little, I can’t scrap together enough money to get Terranimbus (my startup) bootstrapped. We have zero expendable/savable income each month and it’s killing my soul. It’s so fucking frustrating knowing that a little time and some capital is all that stands between a better life for my family and I and being able to provide a better overall service out there over these kinds of shady as fuck knob gobblers.

FUCKING FUCK! THE TEAM LEAD WANTS ME TO MAKE AN UNNECESSARY UPDATE, AND IN THAT TOO HE WANTS TO IMPLEMENT A HALF ASSED FEATURE. Upon telling him what it takes(which he doesn't understand shit about cuz he's not from webdev background and has the level of experience that I had when I was midway my first webdev book), not to mention that he hasn't even seen the code of the project I've worked upon, which I got from an intern they fired last year cuz of not working and shitting around everywhere in the code(I asked if we could start afresh and he says that it'll take too much time - guess what, it took us two extra weeks already cuz of that and half of our required features can't be implemented cuz the code is beyond any hope), he tells me that "The client won't need this feature, but we're thinking of more and more features to provide (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK).
Okay, you wanna sell your product; fine. I suggested that if we're letting the client select the time stamp on the initial date, then we should let him select the time stamp on the ending date too, right?
"No, we'll not provide this feature" ARE YOU FUCKING BONKERS?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH YOU?!?!
I'll have to make major breaking changes in the code, for which I'm not the only one working on. Great.
This, coupled with the fact that he speaks unbelievably slow and it's so irritating cuz he repeats himself thrice.

What happens(has already happened), when he'll show this to the seniors, he'll say that this is either unnecessary/will suggest a major change, which WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH FUCKING BETTER IF TOLD BEFORE I START WITH THE CHANGE, YOU FUCKING CUNTS

I thought this would be fun. Well fuck me.

From my work -as an IT consultant in one of the big 4- I can now show you my masterpiece

INSIGHTS FROM THE DAILY LIFE OF A FUNCTIONAL ANALIST IN A BIG 4 -I'M NOT A FUNCTIONAL ANALYST BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY DO-

- 10:30, enter the office. By contract you should be there at 9:00 but nobody gives a shit
- First task of the day: prepare the power point for the client. DURATION: 15 minutes to actually make the powerpoint, 45 minutes to search all the possible synonyms of RESILIENCE BIG DATA AGILE INTELLIGENT AUTOMATION MACHINE LEARNING SHIT PISS CUM, 1 hour to actually present the document.
- 12:30: Sniff the powder left by the chalks on the blackboards. Duration: 30 minutes, that's a lot of chalk you need to snort.

13:00, LUNCH TIME. You get back to work not one minute sooner than 15.00

- 15:00, conference with the HR. You need to carefully analyze the quantity and quality of the farts emitted in the office for 2 hours at least
- 17:00 conference call, a project you were assigned to half a day ago has a server down.
The client sent two managers, three senior Java developers, the CEO, 5 employees -they know logs and mails from the last 5 months line by line-, 4 lawyers and a beheading teacher from ISIS.
On your side there are 3 external ucraininans for the maintenance, successors of the 3 (already dead) developers who put the process in place 4 years ago according to God knows which specifications. They don't understand a word of what is being said.
Then there's the assistant of the assistant of a manager from another project that has nothing to do with this one, a feces officer, a sys admin who is going to watch porn for the whole conference call and won't listen a word, two interns to make up a number and look like you're prepared. Current objective: survive. Duration: 2 hours and a half.
- 19:30, snort some more chalk for half an hour, preparing for the mail in which you explain the associate partner how because of the aforementioned conference call we're going to lose a maintenance contract worth 20 grands per month (and a law proceeding worth a number of dollars you can't even read) and you have no idea how could this happen
- 20:00, timesheet! Compile the weekly report, write what you did and how long did it take for each task. You are allowed to compile 8 hours per day, you worked at least 11 but nobody gives a shit. Duration: 30 minutes
- 20:30, update your consultant! Training course, "tasting cum and presenting its organoleptic properties to a client". Bearing with your job: none at all. Duration: 90 minutes, then there's half an hour of evaluating test where you'll copy the answers from a sheet given to you by a colleague who left 6 months ago.
- 22:30, CHANCE CARD! You have a new mail from the HR: you asked for a refund for a 3$ sandwich, but the receipt isn't there and they realized it with a 9 months delay. You need to find that wicked piece of paper. DURATION: 30 minutes. The receipt most likely doesn't even exist anymore and will be taken directly from your next salary.
- 23:00 you receive a message on Teams. It's the intern. It's very late but you're online and have to answer. There's an exception on a process which have been running for 6 years with no problems and nobody ever touches. The intern doesn't know what to do, but you wrote the specifications for the thing, 6 years ago, and everything MUST run tonight. You are not a technician and have no fucking clue about anyhing at all. 30 minutes to make sure it's something on our side and not on the client side, and in all that the intern is as useful as a confetto to wipe your ass. Once you're sure it's something on our side you need to search for the senior dev who received the maintenance of the project, call him and solve the problem.
It turns out a file in a shared folder nobody ever touches was unreachable 'cause one of your libraries left it open during the last run and Excel shown a warning modal while opening it; your project didn't like this last thing one bit. It takes 90 minutes to find the root of the problem, you solve it by rebooting one of your machines. It's 01:00.

You shower, watch yourself on the mirror and search for the line where your forehead ends and your hair starts. It got a little bit back from yesterday; the change can't be seen with the naked eye but you know it's there.

You cry yourself to sleep. Tomorrow is another day, but it's going to be exactly like today.

!Rant But after seeing this I laughed like hell I need to share this to all my dev folks.

Client: “Our next requirement, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only.
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

At the Offshore Development Centre :
BA – Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development! Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client, and the client faints

Addon to this, testers completed their test case as above

“Don’t learn multiple languages at the same time”

Ignored that. Suddently I understood why he said that. Mixed both languages. In holiday rechecked it and it was ok.

Sometimes mistakes can lead to good things. After relearning I understood it much better.

“Don’t learn things by head” was another one. Because that’s useless. If you want to learn a language, try to understand it.
I fully agree with that. I started that way too learning what x did what y did, ... But after a few I found out this was inutile. Since then, I only have problems with Git

Another one. At release of Swift, my code was written in Obj-C. But I would like to adopt Swift. This was in my first year of iOS development, if I can even call it development. I used these things called “Converters”. But 3/4 was wrong and caused bugs. But the Issues in swift could handle that for me. After some time one told me “Stop doing that. Try to write it yourself.”

One of the last ones: “Try to contribute to open source software, instead of creating your own version of it. You won’t reinvent the wheel right? This could also be usefull for other users.”

Next: “If something doesn’t work the first time, don’t give up. Create Backups” As I did that multiple times and simply deleted the source files. By once I had a problem no iOS project worked. Didn’t found why. I was about to delete my Mac. Because of Apple’s WWDR certificate. Since then I started Git. Git is a new way of living.

Reaching the end: “We are developers. Not designers. We can’t do both. If a client asks for another design because they don’t like the current one tell them to hire one” - Remebers me one of my previous rants about the PDF “design”

Last one: “Clients suck. They will always complain. They need a new function. They don’t need that... And after that they wont bill ya for that. Because they think it’s no work.”

Sorry, forgot this one: “Always add backdoors. Many times clients wont pay and resell it or reuse it. With backdoors you can prohibit that.”

I think these are all things I loved they said to me. Probably forgot some.

It fucking staggers me how many backend/devops-y people don't understand what a client side "request timeout" is, versus a server side one.

What does it mean:

The client was fed up with the servers bullshit, and decided to piss off and not wait around for the server to take forever to respond, because life's too short.

How not to solve/debug this issue:

- "I've checked the API request in tool xyz, and it works fine for me"

Congratulations, you've figured out how to call an API once, in isolation to the rest of the application, and without any excessive load. And using a different client to me, with a different configuration. Lets get back to actually looking at the issue shall we?

- "I only see HTTP 200's in the logs"

Yep, you probably will in most circumstances, because its the client complaining about it taking too long, not the server. If the server was telepathetic and knew what the client was thinking/doing at all times, we wouldn't have half of the errors we do.

- "Ah ok, I understand ... so how do I solve this?"

Your asking me? I don't fucking know, I didn't build the server! Put better logging in place and figure out why sometimes it takes forever.

Jesus fucking christ

I had this meeting with this new client and where talking about the possibility to exchange data.

And he told how his company now has everything in the cloud and if we also have it in the cloud it should already be connected since it's both in the cloud.

I tried to explain that because its both in the cloud that does not mean it's connected to each other. We still need to develop a way to exchange data.

On wich I got the answer that our data probably is not in the real cloud.

In the end I just said that we can probably exchange data but it the easiest way to accomplish this is talking to someone who maintain the data in your cloud. And we could adapt our system to theirs.

Sometimes it's hard to communicate with less tech savvy people about tech stuff. Explaining things in a way they understand but also is technical correct.

I don't understand... How can people prefer complicated web pages with fancy design over the simple and effective design of your router configuration page?
I mean, look at it... It's beautiful. If I ever asked as a client to a developer to build me a website, it'd look just like this.

Boss: Client wants those stockphotos for the frontpage.

Me: ok. Please license them and let me know. I will upload them to the page.

Boss: How does that work then?

Me: you have to buy the five credit package. Here is the link...

Boss: (no response)

...few days later...

Boss: please remember to upload those images...

Me: well ok. Did you buy them?

Boss: isn't that your thing?

Me: I don't understand. You had all the info. You new where to buy them. You knew what images to buy since the client sent the preview versions. What do you need? ...and why didn't you tell me that you were waiting for my input? I was the last one to reply to this conversation.

Boss: i don't want to buy the wrong images.

Me: just buy the ones the client chose.

Boss: I don't want to look up the email he sent them in.

Me: I don't understand. I directly replied to that mail. It is in the same conversation.

Boss: ok.

...day later...

Boss sends me mail with images attached.

Boss: are those the right images?

Me: well yes. Those are the ones the client sent. I don't have more information than you.

(Me looking at the attachments and finding them in the smallest resolution available.)

Me: why did you download the images in the smallest resolution? It does not make any difference in price.

Boss: well I thought they were not needed in a bigger size.

Me: why do you make my options intentionally smaller? I am the guy doing frontend.
..please give me the login info for the stock account so I can download the images in a better resolution.

Help.

I'm a hardware guy. If I do software, it's bare-metal (almost always). I need to fully understand my build system and tweak it exactly to my needs. I'm the sorta guy that needs memory alignment and bitwise operations on a daily basis. I'm always cautious about processor cycles, memory allocation, and power consumption. I think twice if I really need to use a float there and I consider exactly what cost the abstraction layers I build come at.

I had done some web design and development, but that was back in the day when you knew all the workarounds for IE 5-7 by heart and when people were disappointed there wasn't going to be a XHTML 2.0. I didn't build anything large until recently.

Since that time, a lot has happened. Web development has evolved in a way I didn't really fancy, to say the least. Client-side rendering for everything the server could easily do? Of course. Wasting precious energy on mobile devices because it works well enough? Naturally. Solving the simplest problems with a gigantic mess of dependencies you don't even bother to inspect? Well, how else are you going to handle all your sensitive data?

I was going to compare this to the Arduino culture of using modules you don't understand in code you don't understand. But then again, you don't see consumer products or customer-specific electronics powered by an Arduino (at least not that I'm aware of).

I'm just not fit for that shooting-drills-at-walls methodology for getting holes. I'm not against neither easy nor pretty-to-look-at solutions, but it just comes across as wasteful for me nowadays.

So, after my hiatus from web development, I've now been in a sort of internet platform project for a few months. I'm now directly confronted with all that you guys love and hate, frontend frameworks and Node for the backend and whatever. I deliberately didn't voice my opinion when the stack was chosen, because I didn't want to interfere with the modern ways and instead get some experience out of it (and I am).

And now, I'm slowly starting to feel like it was OKAY to work like this.

I’m fucking done….
I don’t even know what to tell.
I’m a CTO in a startu. We have pretty good traction, my salary is about average senior dev salary (plus 10%).
I’m good financially.
But I have no more pleasure in work. Like at all.
“This API call performance is bad”
Yeah I know, maybe you shpuldn’t try to call it for 1000 objects at the time ?
“We need to reduce Azure cost”
Yeah I know, but are you ready to live with performances downgrade it will generate ?
“I don’t understand on what thing you worked past week, where is a devops card ?
Fuck you, I’m in extenuating fire mode, I don’t have time for a fucking devops card
“We should migrate whole stack to modern technology, like JavaScript”
Thank you for your imput, Blazor WAS created to avoid JabaScript
“The client has only 1.000.000 records and API doesn’t return them all”
Use fucking paging moron. And BTW, I’m adding “number of authorized requests” shortly.
I can go on and on and on for hours. But the idea is : I completely lost the will or motivation to do anything. I’m considering just to quit and go back to be Junior dev for a random company.

Client : I am unable to download data from your sever for last 10 days.

Me : Sir, we are sorry to hear that. We are doing some maintenances on our server from this morning today. We request you to call back us in next 4 hours.

Client : But i am facing this problem for last 10 days.

Me: Sir, i heard you. As maintenance is going on it will not be possible to download data this time.

Client: From when this maintenance is going on?

Me: from this morning sir.

Client : but i am facing this probolem for last 10 days.

Me: Sir, you are not understanding it, or may be i am failing to describe the situation to you...

Client: Listen, you guys are incapable. Only knows to make excuse.

Me: Sir..

Client: Sorry to say, i am not Happy with your support. Let me talk to your senior tech guy.

Me : Sir, your problem will be solved in next 4 hours. We will call you as soon as our server went online.

Client: *.....*

It took me 20 minutes to finally make him understand the situation.

Client: Why did not you said that earlier? You guys will have all the time but i do not. Anyway.

He hangs the phone.

My ears are burning man...

met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...

Boss: we can't accept your MR request until you fix the problems we highlighted, everything is blocked and the client is getting angry

My brother in Christ, I understand your concerns but I need you to understand: you decided to block a perfectly working and documented PR because you didn't like having "<!-- -->" in a couple of HTML files and menial bullshit like that.
It may not be the most elegant thing ever but don't put on me the responsibility of your blocks or I'll smash your face with the coffee mugs I've used to work until midnight so that you could deliver the product in time after someone else delayed the deadline twice already.
Thanks and get fucked ASAP.

Boss: We need to disable CSRF and any other form of security, because that shitty, insignificant client has a website that is abomination anyone's eyes, can't pay because of the iframe thingy.

Me: I'd advice against it. This is a significant security issue that just screams to be exploited and there has to be a solution, but idk much about this situation.

Boss: Idk we need to kiss every clients ass till they come. Remove all the security

Me: *Just wants to get home, last one in the office besides the boss* fine
*removes it, deploys and gets the fuck home*

...2 weeks later

Payment gateway: Yeah, we blocked your account, because someone was trying to purchase 30k product in a span of 1h

I'm not even mad about that, but rather about the fact I fucking called it.

* Achievement unlocked: Targeted by scammers

P.s. no major damages, cause the guys from the payment gate understand shit about security.

If your client doesn't know what the fuck he wants to see on his website even with all text and images included - don't take this fucking job.

They will let you choose a template and you end up switching it 5 times. "Oh we don't like it. What else do you have? Oh, this looks better." Next day "We don't like this theme anymore. We want to switch to what we had before."

If people can't draw their home page on a paper I tell them go fuck yourself straight in a face. I always put these people on my reference list so my future clients know I'm straightforward, not lazy, not low skilled, but honest with dumbasses like some of my previous clients.

You are asking for a basic website with 5 pages, you have a shitty budget and then I have to customize the entire theme and tweak every fucking possible element in CSS, HTML and PHP. Go fuck yourself. All you get for your money is WordPress with 15 min consultation how to copy paste your shit and save it. Never do fixed budgets, never work on projects like this if it's under $500-1000. Meet with the client to understand him/her better and see if he is a jackass-perfectionist or a chill person who won't be picky.

That's my memories of being a freelancer, trying to get any job for any budget just to build my portfolio. Never going back to this, at least not for small businesses with less than $5,000 budget. Reading people before you start working with them is a good thing.

Client comes to me.

Client: So my business is colour matching, people visit me and I help match outfits they should wear that works with their hair and eye colour etc.

Me: Ok... and?

Client: Well. I'd like to do this online, someone sends a photo in and I assess it and send them a colour palette back.

Me: Right... How are you going to calibrate this?

Client: What do you mean?

Me: Well, it's a nigh on impossible task to ensure the exact tones and hues they send you in their photo to what you see, and likewise what you send back might look very different based on their brightness and contrast. Colour science is actually quite hard.

Client: But I don't understand they just send a picture right?

Me: Yeah, they can send one, but are you going to have a consistent baseline for your laptop, can you guarantee the brightness is at the same level each and every time?

Client: No... Why would that matter?

Me: I'm bored now, I'm not gonna take this project.

The worst feeling is when you are really proud of your work, you managed to realize your vision in a perfect way and you're really happy about the result, so much that you are presenting it to the client with pure joy, but the client doesn't appreciate it, doesn't understand your vision and consider it worse than the previous version.

It's incredible how easy It is to move from happines to sadness and depression in a few seconds.

My work had made my day, but the client ruined it.

fml

when your client doesn't understand why you can't "just move that box an inch to the left" -_-

This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.

I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.

"Hey Human,

I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.

FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.

I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.

PeeEm**"

This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:

// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.

// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*

Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.

*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.

**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.

#!/usr/bin/rant
So, we are a web development and marketing agency. That's fine... except now it seems that we are a marketing and web development agency. Where the head marketing guy feels it's his job to head up web development.

This is NOT what I signed up for.

When you offer web services to a client, the one meeting with the client should understand at least basic stuff, and know when to pull in a heavyweight for more questions. Instead, our web team is summarized by a guy who listens to 80's rock music in a shared office (used to be just me in there) and spends his days trying to get 30-year-olds on Facebook to click an ad.

He was on the phone yesterday with some ecommerce / CRM support, trying to tell them that they have an API, that "it's a simple thing, I'm sure you have it", and that's all we need to do business with them. Which is not his call, it's my call, but for some reason he's the one on the phone asking for API info. The last time I took someone else's word on an API, I underquoted the work and eventually found out that their "API" was nothing more than a cron job which places a CSV file on your server via FTP.

Anyway, we now have a full-time marketer and two part-time interns, with another ad out for an AdWords specialist. Meanwhile, I'm senior dev with a server admin / retired senior dev, and if we don't focus on hiring a front-end guy soon we're going to lose business.

Long story short, I'm getting sick of having a guy who does not understand basic web concepts run the show because he's the one who talks to the client.

I'm fed up with you guys ranting about what you SHOULD HAVE said, but instead just walked out, said something cowardly, or nothing at all...

For fuck sake, grow a pair and stand up for yourself! Noone else will...

I get it, this place is a nice vent, people understand, it's not face-to-face, it's easy. But the sheer number of you that had a clear chance to be grow, and ran for the door is alarming.

I also get it, it's mostly difficult to talk back to a client/boss/professor. But there's a few steps between FUCK YOUR FUCKING DIPSHIT FACE and running to the corner to post a rant here.

Find the right words. You don't have to sware, be civilized, but take a stand, present your arguments, present facts and proofs. Don't give in to their scare tactics, earn that respect you need and deserve! Then come here like a winner and share it with us.

It has become quite a tradition here to sware in all caps and then say that's what you should have said, but didn't. From now on, I'm -- these posts to give my two cents in an attempt to make this a community of winners ranting about a stupid world. Not a community of cowards ranting how world is scary.

your client (who doesn't understand caching) trying to tell you how to do your job....

I don't understand how is possible that programmers today are developing applications that are storing plain password in the database.

I know it's kinda boring topic since everybody here is talking about it this week, but it's really confusing to me.

Every now and then some DB gets hacked, millions of passwords are leaked and then you have developers, who should be smart and logical people, who decide to do that.

Ok, maybe the project deadline was close or something similar, but I think there is no excuse for something like that. No matter how close or behind deadline project is, you should always be able to explain to your boss/client what could happen.

For the last week or so I've been writing a userbot for Telegram. Completely from scratch, plus Telethon to not reinvent the wheel entirely. I'm coming from the codebase of an existing userbot.

That userbot is written by a good friend of mine, who makes 6 figures, and whom I respect greatly. However the code is a steaming pile of shit. Now that is not his fault, he largely inherited that code too, tried to fix it, failed, gave up.

I am reimplementing it entirely. I'm only looking at the modules, trying to understand them, and copying over the necessary bits and changing them where necessary. But I've come across some nasty shit.

Userbots often edit existing messages from real Telegram clients. They're kind of like a login to your account, but with a program rather than a regular client. You send a message from a real client, it sees it and does whatever it needs to, and edits your message to give you feedback. Which is great.

However, there's no need to do simple string edits by importing "re". So why do you? Because you're an idiot, that's why. The old bot is based on Paperplane, which in turn is based on Telethon. Why do I see function calls to Telethon in some places and Paperplane in others? Because you're an idiot, that's why. Why does the dig module fail to even give correct answers? Because you know nothing about the DNS, that's why. And you didn't learn about RRs before implementing it.

And don't you tell me that this code is shit, and this bot is slow only when I run it on a fucking Pentium. I run this shit on an i7 and CPU isn't even the issue - memory, disk and such are. If you had any clue whatsoever about efficiency, you would've known because it's blatantly obvious. There's a reason why my machines rarely go past 5% CPU utilization. It's the fastest component in the entire fucking system.

When users come and say.. hmm this application of yours, it consumes a lot of memory. It takes a long time to do X and Y and I don't quite understand why, it seems illogical. Then maybe you should go look at your code, like you would look at yourself in the mirror. And then you fucking go fix it so that I don't have to. You're an engineer just like I am. And I am not even a dev proper - I'm a sysadmin by trade. Why should I have to fix your shit for you?

Today I had a client raise a high defect directly with my boss’s boss. I got called into a meeting and was told
I needed to fix it immediately.

I looked and realized it was in their code and not our component. I told them as much. They asked me if I would still fix it. I refused. Told them it’s not my component. Fix your own problems.

Sat their as my boss’s boss asked them how they functioned if they didn’t even understand their own component. Feels good man. All I could do is smile at them trying not to laugh.

Me: I've not done this before, so any guess would be pure assumption.

Client: Okay, but still, you would have some idea, right?

Me: It might get done in 3 days or may take even 30.

After 3 days:

Client: But you said that it will be done in 3 days. Now you are saying there MVP is not ready. Do you even know, your part is the most critical one in the project. We believed in you. We trusted you. This is insane. It was a wrong decision to choose you.

Me (in my head): Didn't I say, this is the first time I am trying to scrape Coles? It might take time?

Me (in actual): I understand, it is getting delayed. Am trying to get this up ASAP....

Anyone else experienced toxic clients but still didn't lose their cool?

Client contacts our company that his site is down, we do some investigating and the only way we can access the site is on a mobile phone. From the office computers the site never loads and times out. Since we don't host the site and I've never logged into it before I don't have a lot of details so I suggest they contact whoever hosts their site. This is where things get weird.

Client tells me that the site is hosted on someone's home server. I tell him that this is quite strange in 2018 and rather unlikely and ask if he was ever given access to the site to log in or if he has access to his domain registration, GoDaddy.

He says he doesn't understand any of this and would rather I just contact his current developer and figure it out with him. We agree that he needs to get access to his site so we are going to migrate it once I get access to it.

I email his current developer letting him know the client has put me in contact with him to troubleshoot the issues with the site. I ask him some standard questions like: where is the site hosted? Can you access it from a computer? Do you have some security measures in place to block certain IP ranges? Can you give me from access to get the files? Will you send me a backup of the site for me to load up on my server?

*2days pass*

Other dev: Tell me the account number and I'll transfer the domain.

Me: I'll have to get back to you on that once I talk to the client and set up his GoDaddy account since we believe the business owner should own their domain, not their developers. In the meantime you didn't answer any of the questions I asked. Transferring the domain won't get the site on my server so I still need the files.

*3 days pass*

OD: You are trying the wrong domain. The correct domain is [redacted].com I'll have my daughter send you the files when she gets in town. We will transfer the domain to you, the client will forget to pay and the site will go down and it'll be your fault.

Me: I appreciate your advice, but the client will own their domain. I'm trying to get the site online and you have no answered any of my questions. It's been a week now and you have not transferred the domain, you have not provided a copy of the site, you have not told me where the site is hosted. The client and I are both getting impatient at this point when will we receive a backup of the site and the transfer of the domain?

OD: Go fuck yourself, tell the client they can sue me.

If the client is that terrible, wouldn't you want to hand them off to anyone willing to take them? I have never understood why developers and agencies try to hold clients hostage by keeping their domain or website and refusing access. From what I can tell this is a freelance developer without a real company so a legal battle likely isn't going to go well since the domain is worthless to him as the copyright to the name is owned by the client. This isn't the first time we've had to help clients through this sort of thing.

That moment when your project manager says to the client "That is clearly possible". After that he asks you if that is in fact possible to do, you say: "is possible with major limitations" and then he understand they screwed up but in the end the one that is screwed up is you.

Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"

Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."

Client A: "Meaning?"

Me: "You have to pay more."

*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*

Client A: "I don't understand."

Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....

Today I spent several hours arguing with a client. Why? Because she's seeing an error on her website, and no matter how many times I explain to her that she's the only one seeing a css misalignment that was fixed this morning, and that she should clear the browser's cache or just use a different one, she refuses to understand that it's not my fault and that the website that's in production is working just fine for her users.

FFS I tested the same thing on Firefox Chrome, chromium, edge and even fucking IE8 on as many OSs as I can, namely Windows 7, Windows 10, Debian, Ubuntu, Android and OSX.

WHY DO YOU KEEP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR BROWSERS CACHE. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ACCEPT YOU WERE WRONG FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Uffff, that feels better.

Lately I'm running into quite some negative atmosphere in meetings. Raise your hand if you think we all should improve our soft skills.

For example, we had a meeting with our client the other day. It was supposed to be only with the two most senior guys in the team and a couple of the less senior (just because one of us knows better the maths of it and the other one knows better about the limitations of the hardware), but in the end some other team members also joined.

In this meeting, we wanted to discuss an issue that had to be fixed. Quite a complex one. The main speaker from the clients, even though also technical, was having a hard time trying to explain properly to us what the issue was about. He was doing quite well, but it was complex enough. Well, one of the guys in my team kept interrupting him to ask very detailed questions (that would not help us understand it better, not until we got first the big picture). When I say "interrupting" I mean that the guy would half shout a question in the middle of a word from the client.

The client was patient and tried to answer, but our nice guy would keep answering back in a "gosh you really don't have a clue" tone.

We muted our microphone and one of the senior Devs asked the guy to please let them conduct the meeting, and that if he had such questions, he could mute the micro and ask them to us, so we knew we might have to ask about that.

Good. We unmute the microphone and 2 minutes after, our star guy goes in again and he even directs his question to someone else than who was talking (from the client).

Client gets pissed - I mean, I taught 12-16 year old teenagers for years and I don't think I would have hold it together for as long as the client did - and from then on all the meeting went in a really negative tone. Ending up with a call from the client to our senior guy to finish explaining in private the thing.

Well, our friend the interrupting guy not only got amazingly mad at the senior guy that (in private and constructively) gave him some advice on this kind of meetings. No, he also ended up spiraling into a close to insulting chain of emails towards the client -with his and our colleagues in copy- when he needed some specification.

Interrupting guy is 35yo and has been working with clients quite long. Our HR department still doesn't think we all should get communication workshops or something

(long post is long)
This one is for the .net folks. After evaluating the technology top to bottom and even reimplementing several examples I commonly use for smoke testing new technology, I'm just going to call it:

Blazor is the next Silverlight.

It's just beyond the pale in terms of being architecturally flawed, and yet they're rushing it out as hard as possible to coincide with the .Net 5 rebranding silo extravaganza. We are officially entering round 3 of "sacrifice .Net on the altar of enterprise comfort." Get excited.

Since we've arrived here, I can only assume the Asp.net Ajax fiasco is far enough in the past that a new generation of devs doesn't recall its inherent catastrophic weaknesses. The architecture was this:

1. Create a component as a "WebUserControl"
2. Any time a bound DOM operation occurs from user interaction, send a payload back to the server
3. The server runs the code to process the event; it spits back more HTML

Some client-side js then dutifully updates the UI by unceremoniously stuffing the markup into an element's innerHTML property like so much sausage.

If you understand that, you've adequately understood how Blazor works. There's some optimization like signalR WebSockets for update streaming (the first and only time most blazor devs will ever use WebSockets, I even see developers claiming that they're "using SignalR, Idserver4, gRPC, etc." because the template seeds it for them. The hubris.), but that's the gist. The astute viewer will have noticed a few things here, including the disconnect between repaints, inability to blend update operations and transitions, and the potential for absolutely obliterative, connection-volatile, abusive transactional logic flying back and forth to the server. It's the bring out your dead approach to seeing how much of your IT budget is dedicated to paying for bandwidth and CPU time.

Blazor goes a step further in the server-side render scenario and sends every DOM event it binds to the server for processing. These include millisecond-scale events like scroll, which, at least according to GitHub issues, devs are quickly realizing requires debouncing, though they aren't quite sure how to accomplish that. Since this immediately becomes an issue with tickets saying things like, "scroll event crater server, Ugg need help! You said Blazorclub good. Ugg believe, Ugg wants reparations!" the team chooses a great answer to many problems for the wrong reasons:

gRPC

For those who aren't familiar, gRPC has a substantial amount of compression primarily courtesy of a rather excellent binary format developed by Google. Who needs the Quickie Mart, or indeed a sound markup delivery and view strategy when you can compress the shit out of the payload and ignore the problem. (Shhh, I hear you back there, no spoilers. What will happen when even that compression ceases to cut it, indeed). One might look at all this inductive-reasoning-as-development and ask themselves, "butwai?!" The reason is that the server-side story is just a way to buy time to flesh out the even more fundamentally broken browser-side story. To explain that, we need a little perspective.

The relationship between Microsoft and it's enterprise customers is your typical mutually abusive co-dependent relationship. Microsoft goes through phases of tacit disinterest, where it virtually ignores them. And rightly so, the enterprise customers tend to be weaksauce, mono-platform, mono-language types who come to work, collect a paycheck, and go home. They want to suckle on the teat of the vendor that enables them to get a plug and play experience for delivering their internal systems.

And that's fine. But it's also dull; it's the spouse that lets themselves go, it's the girlfriend in the distracted boyfriend meme. Those aren't the people who keep your platform relevant and competitive. For Microsoft, that crowd has always been the exploratory end of the developer community: alt.net, and more recently, the dotnet core community (StackOverflow 2020's most loved platform, for the haters). Alt.net seeded every competitive advantage the dotnet ecosystem has, and dotnet core capitalized on. Like DI? You're welcome. Are you enjoying MVC? Your gratitude is understood. Cool serializers, gRPC/protobuff, 1st class APIs, metadata-driven clients, code generation, micro ORMs, etc., etc., et al. Dear enterpriseur, you are fucking welcome.

Anyways, b2blazor. So, the front end (Blazor WebAssembly) story begins with the average enterprise FOMO. When enterprises get FOMO, they start to Karen/Kevin super hard, slinging around money, privilege, premiere support tickets, etc. until Microsoft, the distracted boyfriend, eventually turns back and says, "sorry babe, wut was that?" You know, shit like managers unironically looking at cloud reps and demanding to know if "you can handle our load!" Meanwhile, any actual engineer hides under the table facepalming and trying not to die from embarrassment.

To my client who wants a two-column formatted email built with tables in Constant Contact to appear in the same two-column format on mobile devices: You're lying when you say your previous developer achieved a legible, mobile, tiny screen email this way. I know because I can see the previous email formatting. In fact, I cloned that exact email and merely swapped out the content. You really do not understand what you're asking for.

So about two months ago in my consulting firm I was asked to replace a colleague on a project (node and Angular). The project is only a few months old but it’s already a total clusterfuck. DB is very poorly designed. It’s supposed to be a relational database but there’s not a trace of a foreign key or any key for that matter and I’ve seen joins like tableA.name = tableB.description (seriously, that’s your relation??). The code is a mess with entire blocks of code copied from another project and many parts of the code aren’t even used. He didn’t even bother renaming variables so they would make sense in the context they were shamelessly thrown into. The code is at best poorly typed if not typed at all.

During our dailies I sometimes express my frustration with my other colleagues as I very politely allude to my predecessor’s code as being hard to work with. (They are all “good friends" with him). I always get the same response from my colleagues: "yeah but you’ve gotta understand Billybob was under a lot of pressure. The user stories were not well defined. He didn’t have time to do a proper job". That type of response just makes me boil inside.

Because you think I have time to deal with this shit? You don’t think I’m working with the same client and his user stories that are barely intelligible? How long does it take to write type definitions for parameters going into a function? That’s right, 30 seconds at most? Maybe a minute if it’s a more elaborate object? How much time do you think you’ll save yourself with a properly typed function or better yet an interface? Hard to tell but certainly A LOT MORE than those 30 seconds you lost (no, the 30 seconds you INVESTED) in writing that interface!!!

FUCK people with their excuses! Never tell me you don’t have time to do a proper job! You’ve wasted HOURS of my time just because you were too fucking lazy to type your functions, too lazy to put just a little more thought into designing your tables, too lazy to rename a variable so that it’s name actually makes sense where it’s being used. It’s not because you were short on time. You’re just lazy!
FUCK!!!!!!

As I already said on devrant, I'm a freelance web developer and I also often sell my services for teaching, loving that. Currently I'm teaching PHP with 30 students and it's going very well.

But yesterday, I received an offer for giving another course next month, this time on HTML and CSS, for a company I don't know yet. Almost every line of this email is wrong, outdated by 20 years, or just basically meaningless...

So I thought I could do my best to translate this as close as possible to the original, preserving the wrong formulations too, just for you devranters fellas.

"Hello,

I have an offer for a 2 days course for 5 people (level 1+ and/or 2), on HTML5 and CSS3. Below, the program :

1. XHTML AND CSS2 INTRODUCTION

Advantages and benefits of change

Understanding compatibility for different versions of browsers

HTML, XHTML, CSS edition tools : presentation of the different tools

The CSS language : different types of selectors : class of selector, identifier of selector, contextual selectors, grouped selectors

Blocks of text, boxes of text

The CSS1, CSSP, CSS2 properties

Relative and absolute measures units

2. LAYOUT TECHNIQUES

Full CSS, XHTML websites demo

Positioning with the position property, positioning with the float property

Columns creation

Layout for forms

Layout for data tables

Layout for menus

3. INTRODUCTION TO SVG (SCALABLE VECTOR GRAPHICS)

Role and importance of SVG

Using SVG on client side : basic shapes

SVG structure of document, tags examples

Using CSS styles with SVG

Different integration methods for SVG in a XHTML document

4. OPTIMISATION OF JAVASCRIPT CODE

Introduction to DOM and Javascript

Access to document objects : different access techniques, using this keyword, create elements dynamically

Positioning elements with the help of Javascript : positionning elements relatively to the mouse, move elements

Show/hide elements for creating hierarchical menus

Code optimisation techniques : using objects, objects litterals, loops optimisation

Can you please give me your availability ?"

Seriously...

CSS-fucking-1 ! Is it a course for dinosaurs ?

...And if only my rant was just about the program...

It's totally impossible to cover all these subjects in only 2 days with people of different levels and experience.

The guy exactly said to me : "don't worry about the program, it's an old text but they agreed to it anyway. They just want to learn HTML and CSS, some of them already know it but want to learn more, and the others are total beginers.".

And here is the meaning for the "(level 1+ and/or 2)" part in the email.

So... Surprizingly, I accepted the offer, but asked for at least a 3rd day. I'm waiting for their answer, but I'll do it anyway, adapting the course content to the actual students knowledge. I need the money, after all.

Wish me luck...

It's just sad that these formation companies are selling bullshit to clients that just want to learn something useful. It's too often like that, they sell shitty/useless programs and we have to catch up in real time with students that don't understand why they don't learn what was told to them.

I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.

Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.

But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.

Be me, get a consultant job, go to a supposedly great client that has fame of getting scouted by Google. (attn: I doubted all this shit before I started)

Learn the basics by a awesome mentor and trial/error stuff at the same time to get the hang of things, after that was done, I noticed there was no documentation whatsoever, code is spaghetti and your documentation, good luck!

Royal spaghetti, you can't make heads or tails of it, dev code in production, empty try/catch blocks, empty statements, if (true)... (incl. their core classes)

Keep in mind this is a multi milion dollar company...

Someone please understand my pain...

So sick of this one client. But why this but why that... it gets to the point of "because of technical shit you wouldn't understand". If you're so fucking interested in how your shit works, learn to build it yourself.

Right,i consider myself a pretty damn good dev... I can back up everything I say to prove that I'm right on not lying to clients

But I see all these devs who do lie... Who withold data from clients cause it's not great.

And I go to clients and prove that they are lying not doing it right.

But I know saying to them... Oi your current devs are shit fire them ... Isn't a good way to get them as a client

Me and my company are open and honest ... we go all out on all of our projects. I work nonstop. It is seriously baffling the kind of developers are out there and how bad they can be I'm... Seriously just.... Urgh 😖

How should I go about talking to clients without going ... Fire them quick or saying that in a ... More humble respectful way...

I need more clients ... To survive and I don't mind coming across as a dick as long as they understand what's going on and that they are people ripped off by these asshole devs

TL;DR Calendar services sucks.

Imagine yourself as startup. You don't want to spend fortune on paying $5 per user per month for Google Services. Also you don't want to pay that to Microsoft for O365. You want to run it itself because you already have droplet running with your other services (ERP for example. Funny story too btw.) Ok, decision has been made, let install something.

I have pretty good experience with OwnCloud from past as Cloud file sharing service. Calendar is not bad for single user purpose (understand it as personal calendar, no invitations to others, sharing is maximum I tried) What can possibly go wrong when I deploy that and use its Calendar?

Well, lot. OwnCloud itself runs well (no rant here) but Calendar is such pain in ass. Trouble is with CalDav under hood and its fragmented standards. So, you want to send invitation to your team for recurrent meeting. Nothing weird. It sends as one invitation to each one, good. Now you realize you have a conflict, so you need to change time of one occurence. Move it, send update. And here comes shitstorm. It is not able to bisect one occurence from series. So it splits it to separate events and send invitation for every single one. 30 INVITATIONS IN 2 SECONDS! Holy sh*t! You want to revert that. Nope, won't do. So you accept your destiny and manually erase every single one with memo in head about planning recurring events.

Another funny issue is when SwiftMailer library (which is responsive for sending e-mails from OwnCloud) goes to spamming mayhem. It is pretty easy to do. When e-mail doesn't comply to RFC, it is rejected, right? So if because of some error CalDav client passes non-compliant e-mail (space as last character is non-compliant btw) and SwiftMailer tries to send it to multiple recepients (one of them is broken, rest is fine), it results in repetitive sending same invitation over and over in 30 minute interval. Sweet.

So now I am sitting in front of browser, looking for alternatives. Not much to choose from. I guess I'll try SOGO. It looks nice. For now.

So we have this administration page in the clients app that has tables of data.

The user can click on a row to edit or click "Add' to create a new one, doing so pops up a modal with a form full of inputs and a save button at the bottom.

The other day our client told me he was concerned that users would not understand how to edit data and that I should add some text below the first input field of each modal that says "Type in a new value and click 'SAVE' to change the [field name]"

As I implimented this crap, I took a few minutes to come up with a nice way of saying that his idea made no sense, added unnecessary clutter to the UI, and proposed some alternatives.

He essentially said, "Thanks for your much better ideas, for now let's just stick with what we've got and we can revisit this later."

Everytime I open that UI, I physically feel pain and get a little sick.

When your client doesn't understand all the developer terms they googled.

TL;DR Shit programer trying pass off stealing code as "Recycling"

Backstory:
Client hires senior dev. He lied and knows nothing. Has been causing havoc in production since day 1. My crusades to defend production have been without much success.

Since he wants to LITERALLY put his name on every big project, he finds any reason to make a new version of it (or make a slight astetic modification) to say he did something.

The client doesn't know or care about the programming side of things. Which means it is incredibly difficult to get him to understand the issues this brings. Not to mention that the "senior dev" is acting as a consultant to the client, altering the facts.

Story:
The piece of shit, is trying to make a new version of a big project. It was originally made by my mentor. Again, if you are using someone else's work to complete your own, I don't care. But if you take 99% of another person's work and then say...

"I took and existing project, which was similar to what I'm trying to make. Then I modified it to fit our needs."

Fuck you man!

You took someone else's work. Now you're trying to present it as your own. No references to our team. Again, there is literally nothing new about this project. It's exactly like the original. The client didn't even ask for this.

Trying to use authenticate a JWT token from an Azure service, which apparently needs to use Azure AD Identity services (Microsoft Entra ID, Azure AD B2C, pick your poison). I sent a request to our Azure admin. Two days later, I follow up, "Sorry, I forgot...here you go..."
Sends me a (small) screenshot of the some of the properties+GUIDs I need, hoping I don't mess up, still missing a few values.
Me: "I need the instance url, domain, and client secret."
<hour later>
T: "Sorry, I don't understand what those are."
Me: "The login URL. I assume it's the default, but I can't see what you see. Any shot you can give me at least read permissions so I can see the various properties without having to bother you?"
T: "I don't see any URLs, I'll send you the config json, the values you need should be in there."
<10 minutes later, I get a json file, nothing I needed>
<find screenshots of what I'm looking for, send em to T>
Me: "The Endpoints, what URLs do you see when you click Endpoints?"
<20 minutes later, sends me the list of endpoints, exactly what I'm looking for, but still not authenticating the JWT>
Me: "Still not working. Not getting an error, just that the authentication is failing. Don't know if it's the JWT, am I missing a slash, or what. Any way I can get at least read permissions so I don't have to keep bugging you to see certain values?"
T: "What do you need, exactly?"
Me: "I don't know. I don't know if I'm using the right secret key, I can't verify if I'm using the right client id. I feel like I'm guessing trying to make this work."
T: "What exactly are you trying to get working?"
<explain, again, what I'm trying to do>
T: "That's probably not going to work. We don't allow AD authentication from the outside world."
Me: "Yes we do. Microsoft Teams, Outlook, the remote access services. I can log into those services from home using my AD credentials."
T: "Oh yea, I guess we do. I meant what you are trying to do. Azure doesn't allow outside services to authenticate using a JWT. Sorry."

FRACK FRACK FRACK!!

Whew! Putting the flamethrower away.

Thanks devrant for letting me rant.

From such a healthy environment this job turned into an extremely toxic one. Now i finally understand how a toxic environment looks like. It's extremely disgusting. Putting 5 tasks on my name to work in parallel and as i work they put 2 more. All High priority tasks. It is physically impossible. The scrum master whore told me to just check the code how to do something to users and understand this for monday so i can help QA guy to test it. I went over the code with a colleague and understood it. Today she screamed at me angry i didnt do the task. What the fuck are you talking about? I checked the code and im ready to do help the QA guy test it whenever necessary. Then she talked shit changing the task that i was supposed to not only understand the code but also do the task on Monday and now its the end of tuesday and its not done. Fuck you. That was not what she said initially. Its very Fucking confusing. Then she said to QA guy i give up i cant handle it with this guy sorry but ill have to report this to product owner. So be it. I dont give a fuck. I am ALONE working on a GIANT, unmaintainable, spaghetti, caveman technology codebase with broken outdated or nonexistent docs, nobody to help me, the colleague whos supposed to guide me is a good guy but overloaded with tasks himself so he doesnt have time, i him and many of us requested another person to join to work with me on same role but they dont have the budget which is a Fucking lie, a client worth trillions of dollars does not have a budget, yeah get fucked retards. This suffering and downfall of your project is mostly their fault. Theyre too arrogant and proud to understand or admit that it's not possible physically for 1 person to manage and keep knowledge and code on 7 tasks per day. All that for Fucking $8 an hour?????????? I hope cancer eats all of u. Every single one to the very fucking bones till ur bones break. This is fucking disgusting and sickening. Right when i was supposed to get paid $17 an hour (and thats gross income not even net.....) I am now fucking forced to quit this shithole toxic job. Because i realized no amount of fucking money, not even before-tax-$17-an-hour money is worth the weight of stress that i get punched with every fucking day. No fucking job is worth more than health. This is saddening and depressing extremely. All of my fucking plans are ruined. The car to buy on leasing--ruined by a whore. The 2 day vacation this week--ruined by a whore. Going out with my hot blonde gf during this miserable 2 day vacation--ruined by a whore. Meeting with 2 american clients I've been in touch with for several years to work on a side project--ruined by a whore, meeting canceled and delayed due to my overtime work. I am literally fucking treated like the Moscow Crocus Hall terrorist. They have no fucking sympathy or understanding for how fucking HARD this fucking DevOps job is where i work on a 30 year old legacy codebase with no fucking help. It is simply not possible. Now its a race between who's gonna fuck who: either i quit first or they fire me first. At this point its not a matter of if but when. Surely soon enough. Cant wait to get the FUCK away from these pieces of shitheads. I either have option to cry and go mentally insane by giving it my all until i fix the task on time but the stress i would get for that would need them to pay me at least 9 mill $ a year. Fuck with someone else you fucking retards. You're using slave labor to work for basically free just so u can profit a lot. Literally on the meeting one of their bosses said they get 50% of margin which is a lot in biz world for tech field. This is absolutely sickening and saddening that im treated like a fucking terrorist. Fucking Disgusting. Cant wait to not Ever fucking work in this toxic fucking place. Quitting by max 1st of april.

Today I spent 9 hours trying to resolve an issue with .net core integration testing a project with soap services created using a third party soap library since .net core doesn't support soap anymore. And WCF is before my time.

The tests run in-process so that we can override services like the database, file storage, basically io settings but not code.

This morning I write the first test by creating a connected service reference to generate a service client. That way I don't need to worry about generating soap messages and keeping them in sync with the code.

I sent my first request and... Can't find endpoint.

3 hours later I learn via fiddler that a real request is being made. It's not using the virtual in-process server and http client, it's sending an actual network request that fiddler picks up, and of course that needs a real server accepting requests... Which I don't have.

So I start on MSDN. Please God help me. Nope. Nothing. Makes sense since soap is dead on .net core.

Now what? Nothing on the internet because above. Nothing in the third party soap library. Nothing. At this point I question of I have hit my wall as a developer.

Another 4 hours later I have reverse engineered the Microsoft code on GitHub and figured out that I am fucked. It's so hard to understand.

2 more hours later I have figured out a solution. It's pure filth..I hide it away in another tooling project and move all the filth to internal classes :D the equivalent of tidying your room as a kid by shoving it all under the bed. But fuck it.

My soap tests now use the correct http client with the virtual server. I am a magician.

The fog of war over all that happened with my change of team is starting to dissipate.
3 people were involved and there were 4 different versions of the whole situtations, but from what I've been able to collect it looks like the company is expanding and one of the mail KPI for the current team leaders is how good they are at creating a NEW generation of team leaders, to take care of the new entries.
My previous team leader told me about all these new growth perspectives and the junior entries I could manage, knowing very well of the desire I have previously expressed of being a senior dev with my small group of juniors to teach.

I declined the offer, stating that this whole year has been exhausting. Every single time I've tried anything (using modules for new components on our old web client, tsdoc to document our types, suggesting technologies like ANYTHING BUT ANGULAR AND MONGO, telling how removing down migrations was a retarded move) my suggestions were either shrugged off or flat out refused. Let alone how every time I was proven right, except for angular but give it time and that will bite their tail as well.
Don't get me wrong: they are well withing their right when they take all those decisions, and more. But I DO NOT PLAN on selling a plethora of bad decisions to a new stack of devs as if they were the gold standard.
"I understand your reasons; you, as a company, need a well coordinated team all running towards a goal; loose cannons are harmful.
But now I need you to understand me: I do not agree with your technical direction. I never lied before and I will not start now. Promotions don't matter nearly as much as my integrity, and integrity in my world means speaking up about problems. Your position is perfectly valid, but mine is as well and they can't be reconciled. If I were you I'd make myself a favor and make sure IHateForALiving doesn't become a team leader; given your direction, I'm not the man you want right now".

As mentioned, one of the KPI for team leaders is how succesfull they are in finding new team leaders, and trying to turn me into one didn't end well; I love sharing knowledge, but being honest to myself is far more important to me. So this meant my previous team leader failed in a very big task, and thus was demoted? At the same time, I've been there for 2 years now so they're not really eager to replace me, but I'm under strict examination too as of now.

When I created stubmatic (a http mock application), we were using it in our internal project. First time when some other project expressed their interest, I was happy and eager to help.

So the person they sent for the training asked me his first question: "I followed all the steps, but It is not working"

I quickly checked his code and replied "you're using GET instead of POST method"

Then his second and last question about stubmatic was "why don't your code understand which method has to be used? Why should a client need to tell every time?"

Ummm... silence

Perhaps as a tip for the junior devs out there, here's what I learned about programming skills on the job:

You know those heavy classes back in college that taught you all about Data Structures? Some devs may argue that you just need to know how to code and you don't need to know fancy Data Structures or Big o notation theory, but in the real world we use them all the time, especially for important projects.

All those principles about Sets, (Linked) lists, map, filter, reduce, union, intersection, symmetric difference, Big O Notation... They matter and are used to solve problems. I used to think I could just coast by without being versed in them.. Soon, mathematics and Big o notation came back to bite me.

Three example projects I worked in where this mattered:
- Massive data collection and processing in legacy Java (clients want their data fast, so better think about the performance implications of CRUD into Collections)
- ReactJS (oh yes, maps and filters are used a lot...)
- Massive data collection in C# where data manipulation results are crucial (union, intersection, symmetric difference,...)
Overall: speed and quality mattered (better know your Big o notation or use a cheat sheet, though I prefer the first)
Yes, the approach can be optimized here, but often we're tied to client constraints, with some room if we're lucky.

I'm glad I learned this lesson. I would rather have skills in my head and in memory than having to look up things and try to understand them all the time.

Im having a sort of dilema. I recently started taking freelance work for web developement (and design ack) and Im uncomfortable with the state of the industry. Ill explain: Say if I bid a client for a simple 1-3 page site w contact form (a new page, not migration) My suggestion is to use djangocms, django, or just static html/css/js (ie bootstrap), which produces clean, fairly secure, and fast sites. Of course I can throw a templated unoriginal wordpress site together in a few hours 2 days latest, so I offer that option as a sidenote on the bid, charging almost 2x more. For some reason I dont understand they choose the wp shitshow. I explain all the reasons that not the way to go( which I wont list, if u dont know, u never used it. google up) but they dont care abt the details, they rather pay more for shit job. OFC I reluctantly deliver what they want, but as a result my portfolio is full of unoriginal shit Im not happy showing off. I have a few sites Ive done on the side my prefered way, but they not deployed and sit in my github for all intents n purposes unviewable to potential clients.
I want to be proud of my portfolio, and it to be a representation of what Im capable of. BUT, I gotta eat, and work is better than no work.

There are so many "wordpress designers" oversaturaring the field and it lowering the overall standard of what we are capable of. I just begining my dev journey, but if I cant have a body of work Im proud of, theres no way I can see doing this the rest of my life, and that makes me really sad. My love of developing, coding, and IT/computers in general drove me to change careers from audio engineering to web development, and the fact that this fucking mr. potatoe head of a CMS is slowly turning that love into hate really pisses me off. So Im ending this !rant looking for hope.
Your thoughts?

You know your client is stupid when you have to make him understand how switch() works..

Rant #1
I’ve got a new client wanting me to take over their website, okay... I’ll take care of you.

What’s the hold up?
1. Anon, Get ahold of this person, they’ve got the info you’ll need.
2. We will get together sometime to go over paperwork.
3. We are waiting on the board to sign off on a contract switch.
4. I’m needing this changed immediately on the site or we will be fined, but I understand you don’t have the information to make that change - can you get ahold of X to get the information?
5. *gets ahold of X* - still waiting on Y to approve contract release and change.

Listen, I have my faults too on running my own business but at least I know what I can and can’t do when either accepting or turning away a client. I’d be happy to work on your website, but you’ve got to get approval from those on your team before you make a change, that’s not on me. It’s cool that you need whatever changed on your site before the end of the week, but I can’t help you until I’m officially signed on. Please don’t request content change when I don’t have access to the content to change it.

Go get approval by your team first before you call me about making changes to your site, we haven’t even exchanged any information or paperwork yet.

Rant #2
If you call me again knowing that I’m on a two month leave from work, I’ll slit your throat and fuck the wound. It’s 1:40. There are other techs, you’ve got the on-call list in front of you. I’m flattered you went through the trouble of finding my PERSONAL NUMBER, but I have rants to write damn it.

So i wasted last 24 hours trying to satisfy my ego over a shitty interview and revisiting my old job's codebase and realising that i still don't like that shit. just i am 25 and have no clue where am i heading at. i am just restless, my most of the decisions in 2023 have given very bad outcomes and i am just trying doing things to feel hopeful.

context for the interview story-----
my previous job was at a b2b marketing company whose sdk was used by various startups to send notifications to their users, track analytics etc. i understood most of it and don't find it to be any major engineering marvel, but that interviewer was very interested in asking me to design a system around it.

in my 1.2 years of job there, i found the codebase to be extremely and unnecessarily verbose ( java 7) with questionable fallbacks and resistance towards change from the managers. they were always like "we can't change it otherwise a lot of our client won't use our sdk". i still wrote a lot of testcases and tried to understand the working of major features.

BTW, before you guys go on a declare me an embarrassment of an engineer who doesn't know the product's code base, let me tell you that we are talking SDKs (plural) and a service based company here. their was just one SDK with interesting, heavy lifting stuff and 9 more SDKs which were mostly wrappers and less advanced libraries. i got tasks in all of them, and 70% of my time went into maintaining those and debugging client side bugs instead of exploring the "already-stable-dont-change" code base.

so based on my vague understanding and my even more vague memory from 1 year ago, i tried to explain an overall architecture to that interviewer guy. His face was screaming the word "pathetic" from his expressions, so i thought that today i will try to decode the codebase in 12-15 hours, publish a cool article and be proud of how much i know a so called martech system design. their codebase is open sourced, so it wasn't difficult to check it out once more.
but boy oh boy i got so bored. unnecessary clases , unnecessary callbacks static calls , oof. i tried to refactor a few classes, but even after removing 70% of codebase, i was still left with 100+ classes , most of them being 3000-4000 files long. and this is your plain old java library adding just 800kb to your project.

boring , boring stuff. i would probably need 2-3 more days to get an understanding of complete project, although by then i would be again questioning my life choices , that was this a good use of my 36 hours?

what IS a correct usage of my time? i am currently super dissatisfied with my job, so want to switch. i have been here for 6 months, so probably i wouldn't be going unless i get insane money or an irresistible company offer. For this i had devised a 2 part plan to either become good at modern hot buzz stuff in my domain( the one being currently popularized by dev influenzas) or become good at dsa/leetcode/cp. i suck bad at ds/algo stuff, nor am i much motivated. so went with that hot buzz stuff.

but then this interview expected me to be a mature dev with system design knowledge... agh fuck. its festive season going on and am unable to buy any cool shirts since i am so much limited with my money from my mediocre salary and loans. and mom wants to buy a home too... yeah kill me

Good Morning Folks!!!

I haven't been posting in a while, besides the fact that I went thru a crazy psychiatric crisis 6 weeks ago, there have not been much news to share here.

Now, recovering and working again luckily, I have to face again the stupid pointy haired boss.

So, this fucker asked me for an estimation to build a simple web app.
He: Hey, can you make an estimation for this app
Me: sure, here it is.
He: *to the client*, here's the estimation for the web app you requested
Client: Uhmm, can I haz desktop for winbug$??
He: Let me check with dev
Me: Sure why not, we can do F# using MVU which is basically the same as using modern web frameworks
He: Sure, I'll tell that to the client.
Client: Oooohhh, C#, we lovez C#, can I haz discount?
He: Client wants discount to make it in C#.
Me: Oh, you can give him a discount to make it in F#, I never said C#
He: But your cv says you used C# ten years ago.
Me: Sure, but is not keeping up with functional design patterns, which is what I do.
He: Ok, so I'm offering him the discount in F#
Me: Great.
He: So, project is approved, thanks for the discount, you have 3 weeks to present the product in C#.
Me: Sure, I'll start when I get the downpayment.

Me: I'm considering saying that I didn't understand that he wanted it in C#, and just do F# and not let him know until the project is done.

Thoughts??

TL;DR - Coding standards are a shit practice IMO.

What we don't talk about enough among software engineers, is the artistic aspect of the craft of writing code.

For example, consider your client saying this to you.

"Build me a web app where a user will login. They will have a wallet to purchase subscriptions of 3 products of different prices."

Give these two statements to say, 10 devs and see how each of them will come up with their own vision of the problem and how they would implement it in their own ways.

So now you are working on a big team with say 30 people and you have a big project to work on. Different members of the team bring different styles of code to you to review and if, the Team Leader is as incompetent as mine is, they would find it troubling to understand the pull requests.

So what do you do in these scenarios? Implement Coding standards !!! They take away the artistic vision of the devs and tries to force them to follow rules like sheep.

Also the company doesn't give two shits about the code standards cuz, as long as they have working code that makes them money, they wouldn't care how the code is written.

Thoughts ?

when a dev with absolutely no knowledge of the systems or whatsoever, tells a client "sure, easy. we can get your password if you forget" and that client then comes to you and doesnt understand he has to use the recovery function because its encrypted using a slow oneway hash...

needless to say, that dev thought passwords were stored in cleartext..

Hey guys. I am in a situation where I need to decide wether to take on a new project or not. And if not, how to turn down that client so that I would not burn any bridges. So I need your opinions on this matter in order to make the final decision.

To make things clear heres some background info. 10 months ago I quitted my fulltime position in another EU country and went back to my own home country. 10 months forward till today and I have my own ltd company which currently has 5 projects. Its doing pretty well money wise. All projects combined, I already earn more then I ever did and I need to work max 10 hours a week since all projects are remote projects so I dont waste time on useless meetings and etc. However I dont feel fulfilled or challenged anymore because surprise surprise doing well paid projects doesnt guarante your sense of fulfillment.

So I noticed that I have lots of spare time which I spend diving into rabbitholes with hobby projects. I decided that its time to scale my company and take on more projects and maybe even hire more people.

So I started searching for other projects I could work on (prefferibly remote projects or flexible ones where I could come in 2-3 days a week in office and work remotely rest of the week). Reason being that I am already out of sync with fulltime position lifestyle and I am totally result oriented, not punch in my hours and go home oriented.

For exampleIf i get my weekly tasks I prefer to do them in 1-2 days (even if it requires doing double shifts which rarely but happens) but then I want to have rest of the week off. Thats how my brain works and thats how Im wired. I cant stand fulltime positions especially in enterprise bigger companies where I come in and do maybe 2 hours of actual work everyday because of all useless meetings and blockers from backend/etc. Its soul crushing to me.

So I posted linkedin ads and started searching for new clients/projects. One month ago I went to an interview for an android project in a startup.

The project looked interesting enough. Main task was to rewrite their android app from java to kotlin. Apparently their current current app was built by a backend developer who wants to focus solely on backend.

So during the interview they showed me their app which was quite simple frontend wise but not so simple backend wise from what I was able to figure out.

Their project lead (also a backed guy) asked me my estimation of price and completion of task. I told them maybe 2-3 months to do everything properly.

Project lead was basically shocked because all other candidates told him they can rewrite the app from java to kotlin in 2-3 weeks. I told him that everything is possible but his app quality will suffer and for a better estimation he would we would need to sign an NDA so I could evaluate the costs. So we ended the interview.

After that we kept in touch for one month (it took them one month to google a generic NDA and sign it digitally with me).

So heres the redflags I noticed:

1. They dont respect my time. Wasted 1 month of my time and after signing NDA gave me 2days to estimate their project and go to a meeting and give them detailed info about what I can offer. I thats not a brain rape then I dont know what it is

2. They are changing initial conditions we talked about. We agreed on rewriting the codebase and be done with it. Now they prefer a fulltime worker who would be responsible for android app as his own product. So basically project lead was not able to find a fulltime dev so now hes trying to convert me (a company owner) to his fulltime worker.

3. Lack of respect. During the interview he started speaking in his own native language to me with some expression (he seemed pissed off at that moment when he switched languages).

4. Bad culture fit. As I said Im used to relaxed clients and projects where I dont need to be chained to a desk a monitored and be micromanaged. I mean lets sign a contract give me access to your codebase and tell me what to do, I will produce results and lets be done with it.

5. Project lead is a backend guy who doesnt understand how complicated android apps can be. No architecture and no unit tests are in his frontend app. He doesnt care about writing proper app since he ships it in his own device so he doesnt need to worry about supporting custom devices or different api levels of android and etc. But not having any architecture? Cmon.

So basically I am confused. Project lead needs a fulltime dev but hes in contact with me in hopes that I would sign a fulltime contract. But how I can work fulltime if all what I can see are redflags?

Basicaly I thinkthis was a misundersanding. Im searching for fulltime remote projects and hes offering fulltime inhouse projects. Project lead never outsourced so hes confused as well.

As you can see decision is already basically made to turn him down, I just need to know how to tell him to fck off in the most polite manner and thats it.

!rant

I work mostly as freelance, so I really dislike having to explain how am I doing thing to a client.

Some ask me to explain what is my logic, and when they don't understand(most of the time) I have that 'sigh' moment where you just want to work on a company where you are tasked with something and does not have to educate people about your method of development (at least not much)

Friday.

When you have been trying to understand what your Hindi client wants from you for half a day, then been implementing it for the other half, and then it is 15:45 and based on result you have send him half hour earlier, he decides that no, it has to work differently and want new result, before weekend.

Nope.

For me it's definitely teaching. Whether I teach coding or any mathematical or even theoretical subjects. I find that when you teach someone you learn how to communicate better and transfer knowledge effectively. Communication is key in client relationships.

Secondly when you teach someone a concept you think you understand you tend to find flaws in the way you understand that subject matter by forcing you to hear your explanation out loud. This in turn will make you delve deeper into that subject matter and make you understand it better, rearranging your own perceptions and correcting those flaws.

How dumb a client can be ?
So dumb that in the name of code review , he spent hours just to understand your code while sharing screen then can only make changes in method and class signature .

Person from a company I am contractor for tried to fuck me up and put me to the project with high money penalties without my will and behind my back.

I don’t understand those people.
You run a project do everything for them except delivering invoice to client and they try to fuck you anyway behind your or their client back.
You literally fight with people to give them money.

This all happened after me keeping their client project for almost 4 years.

Bell rings again to leave them this year after end of contract and don’t look back but I’m sad I need to leave nice client and application I was making for 4 years straight. I am oldest person in project probably only one that understands business behind it from ground up.

There was big rotation in project and knowing the company they will put some junior on my place that will break everything.

Well I still have some time to think ( maybe even couple of months) about what to do next besides taking some time off during this summer.

I am afraid that I rejected so many interesting offers during those 4 years nobody wants me and I got rusty with my stack I am no longer competitive.

I was unable to make anything during weekend and on Monday again cause of this shit.

Fucking people.

Everyone here rants about clients, and as far as I understand frustration, I understand client's side too.

For 2 years I have developed a tool for our company, my manager was responsible for outcome and was directly accountable to company's management, which made him a client for our product. Of course requirements changed many times, he pressured us much, but he is nice guy and gave us knowledge why we had to change things again. We had meetings with him, HRs, PMs and others to gain requirements for features to implement and that made me better understand client's point of view.

My point is that when you work for external companies, you only see changing requirements, pressure, deadlines, etc, but don't think that your work is just a part of process - your client is responsible for your delivery, wants to make good impression on superiors or company needs some feature ASAP. He does not have to know tech stuff, he wants outcome to be good and to be fast and cheap - that is business.

And yes - we had to tell people that X is impossible many times, had to tell Y people how things work over and over. It may seem easier when it is your own company, but note that every single employee knew that you developed that tool and you have answers for his questions.

[opinions welcome]
I'm just furious right now!!!

So I'm on this project where we have to make a whole *very old* website look like it's brand new.

Thing is, the whole point of the project is to make exactly the same pages as on the existing website smh. No UX or UI suggestions.
Just put the navbar in a component that looks like a tab bar, who cares anyway!?

Btw, I'm in charge of the UI.

My colleagues and I (mostly my colleagues) made a react components library and we use it for this project.
Fucking inputs get thrown into tables and all that, but hey, that's what the client asked for.

So here I am with my shiny new page, and I just hand it over to the front-end dev who just arrived.
She's supposed to feed in the data.
I don't give a fuck you use flow or redux or whatever fancy tooling.
Just call your back-end, get the data, format it and feed my damn table with it. That's it.

So today, after 5 weeks she's in, she calls a meeting where she's screening a presentation to the team complaining about how long it took her to understand what I did and change it completely.
Pieces of code on screen, saying it's crap and it shouldn't be like that.

I'm not responsible for inputs in fucking table, the client is!
Of course I have nested components with data passed through all the way: it's a series of fucking radio buttons within a table within a form!

During 5 weeks, yoy didn't even come to me once saying it's not what you expected or you're having trouble with my work!
And there we blaming my job like I'm the bad guy?!

Tonight, everyone's going home thinking I'm no good at what I do and completely lost, all because of her.

If you got this far, I'd like to hear from you on how I should act with her and how to tell her what she did is awfully wrong?

Question for the tech leads out there: what is your job like?

I have had multiple startups and in one of them I have lead a team of half a dozen developers on small projects. The startup in question was a software house, so part of my job was being a sort of solutions architect (understanding what the client needed, getting deep into the processes their companies had and coming up with a software solution for them) and another part of my job was then leading the team to develop the software (and I did hands-on coding as well).

I’m now thinking of ditching the startup world and looking for a job, but I want something that pays well and I want responsibility, I work well under pressure and responsibility motivates me to work.

I consider myself a senior developer because I have worked with many different things and built many projects end-to-end. I also believe I understand quite well system design and architecture.

HOWEVER I have never worked on big scale enterprise software. I mean, I did in another company when I was hired as a junior a few years back, but the project was a complete total mess and I didn’t learn much there, I sorta already knew everything I was doing.

But I’m not that confident in my ability to be a tech lead or some higher position like that even though I have already worked as one. Problem is I did it only in small scale projects and never really had a great mentor I could look up to, I learned everything on the job.

In the end I’m wondering if the experience I have is enough to be able to get a job like that and not fuck things up.

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t e l e g r a m : LEEULTIMATE
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Investing can be a powerful way to grow your wealth and secure your financial future. However, the journey is not without risks, and one of the most painful experiences an investor can face is losing their funds to online scammers. This unfortunate reality can shatter your confidence and lead to significant financial and emotional stress. Having been through this ordeal myself, I understand the heartache of losing a substantial amount of money to deceitful schemes. My personal experience involved a staggering loss of $81,000, which was a harrowing setback. Yet, there is a silver lining to my story, thanks to the assistance of Lee Ultimate Hacker. Initially, my foray into online investments was filled with optimism and hope. I had conducted due diligence, researched various investment opportunities, and even sought advice from so-called experts. Unfortunately, my trust was misplaced, and I fell victim to a sophisticated scam. The realization of having lost $81,000 was devastating. It was not just the financial loss but the emotional toll of feeling deceived and helpless. In the wake of this setback, I was determined to recover my funds. This journey led me to discover Lee Ultimate Hacker, a firm specializing in asset recovery and trading expertise. My decision to seek their assistance was driven by a mix of desperation and hope. Lee Ultimate Hacker offers a range of services designed to help individuals like myself who have been duped by online fraudsters. The process began with an initial consultation where the team at Lee Ultimate Hacker meticulously assessed my situation. Their approach was both professional and reassuring. They took the time to understand the specifics of my case, including the nature of the scam and the details of the transactions involved. Their expertise in dealing with fraudulent activities was evident from the outset. Lee Ultimate Hacker’s team is equipped with extensive knowledge of various recovery techniques and trading strategies. They employ a combination of technological tools and financial acumen to trace and reclaim lost assets. The firm’s reputation for successful recoveries gave me confidence that they could help me retrieve a significant portion of my lost funds. Over the course of several weeks, Lee Ultimate Hacker worked diligently on my case. Their team maintained open lines of communication, providing regular updates on the progress of the recovery process. This transparency was crucial in rebuilding my trust and keeping me informed about the status of my funds. The results were remarkable. Thanks to Lee Ultimate Hacker’s efforts, I was able to recover 90% of my lost funds. This outcome far exceeded my initial expectations and was a testament to the firm’s proficiency and dedication. Beyond just recovering my funds, the experience also led to positive financial growth. With their guidance and trading expertise, I not only regained what I had lost but also achieved new profits in my investments. The success of my recovery process has been a transformative experience. It has restored my confidence in investing and taught me valuable lessons about due diligence and the importance of working with reputable professionals. Lee Ultimate Hacker’s role in this journey cannot be overstated. Their expertise not only helped me reclaim my lost assets but also provided me with the tools and knowledge to navigate the complex world of online investments more effectively. For anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation, facing the daunting task of recovering lost or stolen funds, I wholeheartedly recommend seeking the help of professionals like Lee Ultimate Hacker. Their expertise in handling fraudulent cases and their commitment to client recovery make them a reliable partner in the quest to regain financial stability. while the experience of losing money to online scammers is deeply distressing, it is possible to recover and even thrive with the right assistance. Lee Ultimate Hacker demonstrated exceptional skill and dedication in recovering my lost funds and enhancing my investment experience. If you have lost hope due to a fraudulent investment or online scam, consider reaching out to them. Their expertise could be the key to reclaiming your assets and finding new opportunities for financial growth.

Lighthouse Bookkeeping LLC: Expert Bookkeeping Services for Service Businesses with Comprehensive Financial and Monthly Reports

Running a service business requires careful attention to detail, especially when it comes to managing your finances. At Lighthouse Bookkeeping LLC, we specialize in offering tailored bookkeeping for service businesses, ensuring that your financial records are organized, accurate, and up to date. Our expert team provides a wide range of services, from generating detailed bookkeeping financial reports to delivering bookkeeping monthly reports that help you make informed business decisions.

Located in Brentwood, TN, Lighthouse Bookkeeping LLC is dedicated to helping service-based businesses stay on top of their financial obligations and avoid costly mistakes. Whether you're a consultant, contractor, healthcare provider, or any other type of service business, we are here to manage your financials and provide the reports you need to track your success.

Why Bookkeeping is Essential for Service Businesses
Service businesses face unique challenges when it comes to financial management. Unlike product-based businesses, service-based companies may deal with fluctuating revenues, project-based billing, and different client payment schedules. Keeping track of income and expenses accurately is vital to ensure profitability, tax compliance, and financial growth.

Bookkeeping for service businesses is essential for the following reasons:

Accurate Financial Tracking
Service businesses often operate on contracts or agreements with varying payment schedules. Proper bookkeeping ensures that all client invoices, payments, and expenses are accurately recorded, giving you a true picture of your business’s financial health.

Expense Management
Service businesses may incur expenses related to travel, supplies, marketing, and more. By tracking these expenses properly, we help ensure that your books remain organized and you can easily identify opportunities to cut costs or increase profits.

Tax Compliance
Bookkeeping is essential to staying compliant with tax regulations. We ensure that your financial records are accurate and complete so that you can file your taxes without any issues. This helps you avoid penalties and take advantage of all potential tax deductions.

Cash Flow Management
For service businesses, cash flow can fluctuate depending on the nature of contracts and billing cycles. We help you keep track of incoming payments and outgoing expenses, ensuring that you have enough working capital to operate smoothly.

How We Provide Comprehensive Bookkeeping Financial Reports
At Lighthouse Bookkeeping LLC, we understand that financial reports are the backbone of decision-making. Our bookkeeping financial reports provide a detailed view of your business’s financial performance, allowing you to assess profitability, track your financial goals, and make strategic business decisions.

Our bookkeeping financial reports include:

Profit and Loss (P&L) Statements
The P&L statement shows your business’s income and expenses over a specific period. It helps you understand your revenue, cost of goods sold, and operating expenses, giving you insights into whether your business is profitable.

Balance Sheet
The balance sheet provides a snapshot of your business’s financial position at a given point in time, listing your assets, liabilities, and equity. It helps you assess your business’s financial stability and ability to cover its debts.

Cash Flow Statement
The cash flow statement tracks the flow of cash in and out of your business. This report provides essential information for managing cash flow, helping you ensure that you have sufficient cash to cover day-to-day expenses.

Accounts Receivable and Accounts Payable Reports
These reports track outstanding payments from clients (accounts receivable) and amounts you owe to vendors (accounts payable). They are essential for maintaining healthy cash flow and ensuring you are on top of any outstanding financial obligations.

Job or Project-Based Reports
For service businesses that work on projects or contracts, we provide detailed reports that break down income and expenses related to specific jobs, helping you assess the profitability of individual projects or clients.

The Importance of Bookkeeping Monthly Reports
In addition to providing periodic financial statements, bookkeeping monthly reports offer a snapshot of your business’s financial status on a month-to-month basis. These reports allow business owners to track performance, analyze trends, and make timely adjustments to their strategies.

Here’s why bookkeeping monthly reports are critical for service businesses:

I received a prompt and professional response within a single business day of contacting DUNE NECTAR WEB EXPERT. This swift action, in stark contrast to the frustrating delays I had previously encountered, immediately instilled confidence. Their expertise in cybersecurity, particularly within the cryptocurrency domain, is evident in their comprehensive approach. They deeply understand blockchain technology, cryptocurrency protocols, and the intricate methods fraudsters employ. Furthermore, their reputation for integrity and skill is well-established within the industry. Numerous testimonials and case studies highlight their success in recovering stolen digital assets for victims of various cryptocurrency scams. Their dedication to assisting victims is not merely a marketing strategy; it is a core principle guiding their operations. The organization's commitment to ethical practices and client confidentiality further enhances its credibility. Their professional and compassionate approach, characterized by clear communication and regular updates, provided much-needed reassurance during a stressful period. The successful recovery of a significant portion of my stolen assets is a testament to their exceptional abilities and unwavering dedication to their clients. In conclusion, DUNE NECTAR WEB EXPERT offers a vital service in combating the pervasive issue of cryptocurrency fraud, providing a beacon of hope for victims seeking to reclaim their lost assets and regain a sense of security in the digital landscape. Consult DUNE NECTAR WEB EXPERT, as they are worthy and reliable professional hackers your money will count for when you hire them. E-mail (Support @ Dunenectarwebexpert . Com ) Telegram (@Dunenectarwebexpert )

Upgrade General Contractors Inc.: Your Trusted Roofing Experts in South Florida

At Upgrade General Contractors Inc., we specialize in delivering high-quality roofing solutions to homeowners and businesses across Coral Gables, Pembroke Pines, and South Florida. Whether you need a metal roof installer in Coral Gables, are looking for affordable roofing in Pembroke Pines, or require hurricane damage roof repair in South Florida, our expert team is here to provide the best services to ensure the safety and longevity of your roof.

Metal Roof Installer in Coral Gables
Metal roofing is quickly becoming a popular choice for homeowners and businesses due to its durability, energy efficiency, and sleek modern look. As experienced metal roof installers in Coral Gables, Upgrade General Contractors Inc. is proud to offer a wide variety of metal roofing options, including standing seam, corrugated, and metal shingles. Our team is highly skilled in installing metal roofs that can withstand the harshest weather conditions and offer long-lasting protection for your property.

If you are looking for a reliable and professional metal roof installer in Coral Gables, Upgrade General Contractors Inc. has you covered. We offer personalized consultations to help you choose the right materials and styles that best fit your aesthetic and functional needs. Our expert installers ensure that every metal roof installation is completed with precision and care, providing you with a roof that will stand the test of time.

Affordable Roofing in Pembroke Pines
At Upgrade General Contractors Inc., we understand that the cost of roof repairs or replacements can be a significant concern for many homeowners. That's why we are committed to providing affordable roofing in Pembroke Pines without compromising on quality. We offer a range of roofing services, from repairs and maintenance to full replacements, all at competitive prices.

Our team works closely with each client to find the best roofing solution within their budget. Whether you need a simple repair or a complete roof replacement, we ensure that our services are cost-effective, transparent, and of the highest quality. When you choose Upgrade General Contractors Inc. for your roofing needs in Pembroke Pines, you can trust that you're getting exceptional value at a price you can afford.

Hurricane Damage Roof Repair in South Florida
Living in South Florida, residents and businesses are no strangers to the devastating effects of hurricanes. When your roof sustains damage from a storm, you need fast, reliable repair services to restore the integrity of your home or business. Upgrade General Contractors Inc. offers specialized hurricane damage roof repair in South Florida, providing emergency roofing services to quickly assess and address damage caused by high winds, heavy rain, and flying debris.

Our team is highly experienced in handling all types of storm damage, from missing shingles and leaks to structural damage. We offer comprehensive hurricane damage roof repair services that include temporary fixes to prevent further water intrusion and permanent solutions to restore your roof to its pre-storm condition. We also work closely with your insurance company to help streamline the claims process, making sure you receive the coverage you're entitled to.

Why Choose Upgrade General Contractors Inc.?
Experience and Expertise: With years of roofing experience, we’ve built a reputation as one of the most trusted contractors in South Florida, offering expert services for both residential and commercial properties.

Licensed and Insured: Upgrade General Contractors Inc. is a fully licensed and insured roofing company, so you can have peace of mind knowing that your roof is in good hands.

Customer-Focused Approach: We take pride in putting our clients first, providing clear communication, timely service, and detailed workmanship that exceeds expectations.

Affordable Solutions: We offer a variety of roofing services at competitive prices, ensuring you get high-quality work that fits your budget.

Hurricane-Ready Repairs: In addition to general roofing services, we specialize in hurricane damage roof repair to keep your home or business protected during storm season.

Contact Us Today
If you're looking for a metal roof installer in Coral Gables, need affordable roofing in Pembroke Pines, or require hurricane damage roof repair in South Florida, look no further than Upgrade General Contractors Inc. Our team of roofing experts is ready to handle all your roofing needs, providing you with a roof you can trust to protect your property for years to come.

Address: 1507 N State Road 7 Ste J, Margate, FL 33063
Phone: +1 (754) 270-6499

Call us today to schedule a free consultation or request emergency roofing services. Let Upgrade General Contractors Inc. provide the high-quality, affordable roofing solutions you need in South Florida!

Unlock Expert Cryptocurrency Recovery with Saclux Comptech Specialist
Recover Your Lost or Stolen Cryptocurrency Today!
At Saclux Comptech Specialist, we understand the importance of securing your digital assets. Our team of expert cryptocurrency recovery specialists has years of experience in helping individuals and businesses recover their lost or stolen cryptocurrencies.

Our Recovery Process
1. Initial Assessment: Our experts will assess your situation and determine the best course of action for recovery.
2. Blockchain Analysis: We use advanced blockchain analysis tools to track down your lost or stolen cryptocurrency.
3. Recovery Strategy: Our team will develop a customized recovery strategy tailored to your specific needs.
4. Recovery Execution: We will execute the recovery strategy and work tirelessly to recover your lost or stolen cryptocurrency.

Why Choose a Saclux Comptech Specialist?
- Expertise: Our team has years of experience in cryptocurrency recovery.
- Success Rate: We have a high success rate in recovering lost or stolen cryptocurrencies.
- Confidentiality: We prioritize confidentiality and ensure that all client information remains secure.
- Customer Support: Our team is available 24/7 to provide support and updates throughout the recovery process.

Don't Lose Hope!
If you've lost or had your cryptocurrency stolen, don't lose hope. Contact Saclux Comptech Specialist today to learn more about our cryptocurrency recovery processes and how we can help you recover your digital assets.

Timber Construction Ltd – Your Trusted Extension Builders in Essex

Looking to expand your home with a quality extension or transform unused space with a loft conversion? Timber Construction Ltd is here to turn your vision into reality. As expert extension builders in Essex, we specialize in offering top-notch building solutions, from extending your home to providing stylish and functional loft conversions, as well as complete renovations in Essex. We are the go-to construction company for anyone looking to enhance their property with high-quality, customized building services.

Why Choose Timber Construction Ltd – Leading Extension Builders in Essex
At Timber Construction Ltd, we understand that your home is more than just a place to live – it’s an investment and a reflection of your lifestyle. If you need more space but love your location, a home extension could be the perfect solution. Our team of experienced extension builders in Essex will work closely with you to design and build an extension that suits your needs and complements your existing property.

Whether it’s a kitchen extension, additional living space, or a home office, Timber Construction Ltd ensures that every extension project is completed to the highest standards. We take care of everything, from planning permissions to building regulations, ensuring a seamless and stress-free process for you.

Transform Your Space with Loft Conversions in Essex
A loft conversion in Essex is an excellent way to maximize your home’s potential without the need to move. Timber Construction Ltd specializes in transforming your unused attic space into a functional and beautiful room that meets your needs. Whether you’re looking to create an extra bedroom, a home office, or a cozy reading nook, our team has the expertise to turn your loft into a valuable part of your home.

Not only do loft conversions in Essex provide you with more living space, but they can also increase the value of your property. With years of experience in loft conversions, Timber Construction Ltd ensures that your project is completed on time, within budget, and to the highest possible standard.

Expert Renovations in Essex – Reimagine Your Home
If your home is in need of an update, Timber Construction Ltd offers exceptional renovations in Essex that breathe new life into tired, outdated spaces. Whether you're looking to update your kitchen, refurbish your bathroom, or undertake a full-scale renovation, we’re here to help you transform your property into the home of your dreams.

Our renovation services cover all aspects of home improvement, including structural work, interior design, and finishing touches. We work closely with you to ensure the design reflects your style and preferences while maintaining practicality and functionality. Whether you’re looking to make your home more energy-efficient, add modern touches, or enhance the overall aesthetic, Timber Construction Ltd has the experience to deliver top-quality results.

Why Timber Construction Ltd is Your Ideal Choice for Extension Builders in Essex
Skilled Professionals: Our team of extension builders in Essex has years of experience and expertise in the construction industry. We work with you to bring your ideas to life while maintaining high standards and attention to detail.

Tailored Services: Every client is unique, and we offer customized solutions for loft conversions in Essex and home extensions. We take the time to understand your specific needs and design a solution that fits your home and lifestyle.

Comprehensive Renovations: In addition to home extensions and loft conversions, Timber Construction Ltd also specializes in renovations in Essex. We can help you reimagine your space with thoughtful designs and quality craftsmanship.

Affordable and Transparent Pricing: We offer competitive pricing without compromising on quality. Our transparent approach ensures you are fully aware of costs from the start, with no hidden fees or surprises.

Customer-Focused Approach: We prioritize customer satisfaction and work closely with you at every stage of your project. Our goal is to ensure that you are happy with the final result, from the initial consultation to the finished build.

Contact Timber Construction Ltd – Expert Builders in Essex
Ready to transform your home with a home extension, loft conversion, or renovation? Timber Construction Ltd is the expert extension builders in Essex you can trust. We specialize in providing high-quality, customized solutions to suit your needs and budget.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, call us today at +44 1708 837141 or visit us at our office at 111-113 Victoria Rd, Romford RM1 2LX, United Kingdom. Let Timber Construction Ltd be your first choice for loft conversions in Essex, renovations in Essex, and expert building solutions for your home.

Yash Duggal - Trusted Mortgage Broker at Think and Grow Finance: Offering Free Home Loan and Mortgage Broker Consultations

At Think and Grow Finance, Yash Duggal is your dedicated and trusted mortgage broker, serving the Melbourne area with expert advice and tailored home loan solutions. Whether you’re a first-time homebuyer, refinancing your current mortgage, or looking to invest in property, Yash Duggal offers free consultations to help you navigate the mortgage process with ease and confidence.

Located at 14 Cabarita St, Truganina VIC 3029, Yash is committed to providing a personalized service to every client, ensuring you get the best loan options available. With his extensive experience in the mortgage industry, he will guide you step by step to find the right financial solutions for your unique situation.

Why Choose Yash Duggal - Trusted Mortgage Broker?
Finding the right home loan or mortgage can be a daunting process. However, with the help of a professional, the journey can become much smoother. Here’s why Yash Duggal, your trusted mortgage broker, is the right choice:

Free Home Loan Consultation: At Think and Grow Finance, we believe in transparency and giving our clients a clear understanding of their options. That's why we offer a home loan free consultation, where you can discuss your needs and goals with Yash, without any obligation. During this session, you’ll learn about different mortgage products, the loan process, and the best options available based on your specific circumstances.

Comprehensive Mortgage Advice: As a professional mortgage broker, Yash has access to a wide range of lenders and loan products. This gives you the opportunity to compare various mortgage options and find the one that suits your financial goals. His advice is completely unbiased, as he works independently and is committed to securing the best deal for you.

Personalized Loan Solutions: Every financial situation is unique, and Yash takes the time to get to know you and understand your specific needs. Whether you're buying your first home, refinancing, or looking to invest, he will help you find the most suitable loan option for your individual circumstances.

Expert Support Throughout the Process: From your initial free consultation to the settlement of your loan, Yash is with you every step of the way. He’ll help you gather all necessary documents, answer any questions you have, and ensure your loan application is processed smoothly.

How Can a Free Consultation Benefit You?
A free consultation with Yash Duggal is the perfect way to kickstart your home loan or mortgage journey. Here’s how it can benefit you:

Clarity on Your Loan Options: Whether you're new to the world of home loans or an experienced borrower, a free consultation will help you understand your loan options. Yash will provide an in-depth overview of different mortgage products, such as fixed-rate loans, variable-rate loans, and interest-only loans, to ensure you make an informed decision.

No Pressure, No Obligation: One of the best aspects of a mortgage broker free consultation with Yash is that it’s completely obligation-free. You won’t feel pressured to make decisions during the consultation. Instead, you can take the time you need to review your options and decide what’s best for you.

Customized Advice for Your Needs: Yash’s consultations are personalized to meet your specific needs. He will take into account factors like your income, credit history, and future financial goals to recommend the right loan products and lenders. This tailored approach ensures that you get a loan that fits your budget and long-term financial plans.

Save Time and Money: Working with a professional mortgage broker like Yash means you won’t waste time searching through multiple lenders. Yash does the hard work for you, finding the most competitive rates and ensuring your loan application is submitted to the best lenders for your needs.

Contact Yash Duggal for a Free Consultation Today!
If you're looking for a home loan free consultation or a mortgage broker free consultation, Yash Duggal at Think and Grow Finance is here to help. Yash is committed to making the home loan process as easy and transparent as possible for you.

Visit 14 Cabarita St, Truganina VIC 3029, or call +61401545302 to schedule your free consultation today. Let Yash Duggal assist you in finding the perfect loan option and take the first step toward achieving your financial and property goals!

Treeex Inc: Professional Fairfax and Novato Tree Service Experts

At Treeex Inc, we are proud to provide high-quality tree care services to the communities of Fairfax, CA, and Novato, CA. Located at 3240 Wilder Rd, Santa Rosa, CA 95407, our team of experienced arborists is committed to offering exceptional tree services that promote the health, safety, and beauty of your property. Whether you need routine maintenance, emergency tree removal, or specialized services like tree pruning, Treeex Inc is your trusted partner for all your Fairfax tree service and Novato tree service needs.

Expert Fairfax Tree Service
The beautiful town of Fairfax, CA, is known for its vibrant natural landscape and stunning trees. At Treeex Inc, we understand the importance of maintaining the health of your trees while ensuring your property remains safe and visually appealing. We offer a comprehensive range of Fairfax tree service, including tree removal, tree pruning, tree trimming, and stump grinding.

Whether you're looking to enhance the appearance of your trees, remove dangerous limbs, or address a fallen tree after a storm, our team of experts can handle all of your tree care needs. We use the latest equipment and techniques to ensure that each job is completed with the highest level of safety and efficiency, leaving your property looking beautiful and hazard-free.

Reliable Novato Tree Service
Novato, CA, is a beautiful city with a mix of urban and rural landscapes, often surrounded by trees that enhance the aesthetic and natural appeal of the area. At Treeex Inc, we offer reliable and professional Novato tree service for both residential and commercial properties. Whether you need tree trimming, tree removal, or emergency storm damage cleanup, our team is ready to help.

We understand the unique needs of trees in Novato and are committed to providing tailored services that promote the health and longevity of your trees while ensuring the safety of your home or business. From clearing overgrown branches to removing fallen or hazardous trees, we offer a complete range of services to keep your property safe and well-maintained.

Why Choose Treeex Inc for Fairfax and Novato Tree Services?
Experienced Arborists: Our team consists of certified, skilled arborists who are experts in Fairfax tree service and Novato tree service. We have the knowledge and experience to handle trees of all sizes and species.

Comprehensive Services: Whether you need tree pruning, tree removal, or stump grinding, we offer a full range of tree care services to meet all your needs.

Safety First: We prioritize the safety of your property and our team. We follow strict safety protocols to ensure that every job is done correctly and with minimal risk.

Local Expertise: As a locally owned business, we have a deep understanding of the local environment, making us uniquely qualified to care for the trees in Fairfax and Novato.

Affordable Pricing: We offer competitive rates without compromising on quality, ensuring that you receive the best value for your investment in tree services.

Customer Satisfaction: We are dedicated to providing exceptional customer service and making sure that every client is fully satisfied with the results of our work.

Contact Treeex Inc for Fairfax and Novato Tree Services
If you’re in need of Fairfax tree service or Novato tree service, Treeex Inc is here to help. Call us today at +1 707-657-0929 to schedule a consultation or get a free estimate for your tree care needs. Our expert team is ready to assist you with all your tree service requirements, from routine maintenance to emergency tree care.

Let Treeex Inc take care of your trees, so you can enjoy a safe, beautiful, and thriving landscape in Fairfax and Novato.

Greene Horizons: Empowering Change Through Motivation and Motivational Interviewing

At Greene Horizons, located at 320 Raritan Ave #202b, Highland Park, NJ, we are committed to helping individuals overcome obstacles and achieve their goals through the power of motivation and motivational interviewing. Whether you're dealing with personal challenges, striving for positive change, or seeking support in your journey toward a healthier life, we provide the guidance and tools to help you unlock your potential.

The Role of Motivation in Personal Growth
Motivation is the driving force that fuels change and helps us pursue our goals. Whether it's overcoming personal barriers, achieving better mental health, or making positive lifestyle changes, motivation is key to success. At Greene Horizons, we believe that everyone has the ability to make meaningful changes in their life. Our goal is to help you tap into your inner drive and find the motivation to create lasting transformations.

Whether you're dealing with procrastination, a lack of confidence, or difficulty following through with goals, we offer the support and encouragement you need to stay motivated. Our therapists work closely with you to identify what drives you and help you harness that energy to make sustainable, positive changes in your life. Motivation is not only about setting goals but also about understanding the emotional and psychological factors that influence your ability to achieve them.

Motivational Interviewing: A Collaborative Approach to Change
Motivational interviewing is a client-centered, evidence-based therapeutic approach that focuses on helping individuals find the motivation to make positive changes. Rather than being confrontational or directive, motivational interviewing encourages self-reflection and enhances an individual’s intrinsic motivation to change.

At Greene Horizons, we use motivational interviewing to help clients explore their ambivalence toward change, resolve internal conflicts, and ultimately commit to their goals. This approach is especially effective for individuals dealing with addictions, mental health challenges, and those who may feel stuck or uncertain about making changes in their lives.

The key principles of motivational interviewing include:

Expressing empathy: We listen without judgment, acknowledging the challenges you face.
Developing discrepancy: We help you see the difference between where you are and where you want to be, increasing awareness of the need for change.
Rolling with resistance: Instead of confronting resistance, we work with it, helping you explore any fears or doubts about change.
Supporting self-efficacy: We empower you to believe in your ability to succeed and make positive changes in your life.
Our skilled therapists are trained in motivational interviewing and can guide you through this powerful process to help you find clarity, build motivation, and take actionable steps toward your goals.

Why Choose Greene Horizons for Motivation and Motivational Interviewing in NJ?
At Greene Horizons, we are passionate about helping individuals tap into their full potential. Whether you're facing challenges in your personal life, career, or mental health, our team of experienced therapists is here to provide the support you need to stay motivated and achieve your desired outcomes.

We understand that every individual’s journey is unique, which is why we offer personalized care tailored to your specific needs. Our approach is compassionate, client-centered, and grounded in evidence-based practices, such as motivational interviewing, to help you achieve long-term success.

Take the First Step Toward Change Today
If you're ready to unlock your potential, find your motivation, and make lasting changes in your life, Greene Horizons is here to help. Our motivational interviewing services are designed to empower you to make decisions that align with your values and goals, and to move forward with confidence and clarity.

Contact us today at +16408889665 to schedule an appointment or learn more about how we can support you in your journey toward a brighter future. Our office is located at 320 Raritan Ave #202b, Highland Park, NJ 08904, and we are here to help you achieve the positive change you’ve been seeking.

Wild Tree Solutions: Your Trusted Tree Care Provider in Tigard, Oregon

At Wild Tree Solutions, we specialize in providing expert tree services to residents and businesses in Tigard, Oregon. Whether you need tree cutting, emergency tree removal, or ongoing tree maintenance, our team of certified arborists is here to ensure your trees stay healthy, safe, and beautiful. Based in Hillsboro, we are proud to serve the greater Tigard area with high-quality, affordable tree services tailored to meet the unique needs of each client.

Tree Cutting Tigard: Precision and Safety
If you have a tree that needs to be removed or trimmed, tree cutting in Tigard should always be done by professionals. Cutting down or trimming trees requires skill, proper equipment, and an understanding of how to do the job safely. Whether you need to remove a hazardous tree, clear space for construction, or simply want to shape your trees for aesthetic purposes, Wild Tree Solutions provides expert tree cutting services in Tigard. Our team uses advanced tools and techniques to ensure the job is done efficiently, safely, and with minimal disruption to your landscape.

Arborist Services Tigard: Expert Tree Care by Certified Arborists
When it comes to the health of your trees, it’s important to work with a certified arborist. At Wild Tree Solutions, our team of professional arborists provides top-notch arborist services in Tigard. We assess the condition of your trees, provide expert advice on the best care practices, and offer solutions to keep your trees healthy. Whether you need guidance on tree planting, disease treatment, or overall tree maintenance, our certified arborists are here to help. We’re committed to providing personalized care for your trees to ensure their long-term health and beauty.

Emergency Tree Removal Tigard: Quick and Safe Solutions
Unexpected events such as storms, high winds, or other environmental factors can sometimes cause trees to become dangerous or pose a risk to your property. If you find yourself in need of emergency tree removal in Tigard, Wild Tree Solutions is available to assist you quickly and efficiently. Our team is equipped to handle urgent situations, ensuring the safe removal of fallen or damaged trees that could otherwise cause harm to your home or yard. We’re dedicated to responding swiftly to your emergency and taking the necessary precautions to avoid further damage.

Tree Health Services Tigard: Promoting Strong, Healthy Trees
At Wild Tree Solutions, we believe that healthy trees are the foundation of a thriving landscape. Our tree health services in Tigard are designed to prevent and treat a variety of tree health issues, from pest infestations to disease outbreaks. Whether your tree is showing signs of stress, or you just want to maintain its vitality, our team will conduct a thorough assessment to identify any potential issues. We offer tree disease treatment, fertilization, and other health-focused services that promote the longevity and beauty of your trees.

Tree Planting Tigard: Adding New Life to Your Landscape
Adding new trees to your property can enhance both its beauty and value. If you're considering tree planting in Tigard, Wild Tree Solutions is here to help you choose the best tree species for your yard and ensure proper planting techniques. We understand that tree planting goes beyond just putting a sapling in the ground—it’s about ensuring your new tree has the best chance to grow healthy and strong. Our team will assess your soil, climate, and space to select the right type of tree and plant it properly to encourage optimal growth.

Tree Maintenance Tigard: Keeping Your Trees in Top Condition
Maintaining your trees is essential to ensure they continue to grow strong, healthy, and beautiful for years to come. Our tree maintenance services in Tigard include everything from regular trimming to disease prevention and soil care. Routine maintenance can help prevent future issues, including overgrowth, disease, and pest infestations. Whether you need periodic tree pruning, tree trimming, or general care to improve the health of your trees, we have the expertise to keep your landscape in excellent condition.

Affordable Tree Services Tigard: Quality Care Within Your Budget
At Wild Tree Solutions, we understand the importance of providing affordable tree services in Tigard without sacrificing quality. Whether you need tree removal, trimming, or maintenance, we offer competitive pricing to ensure that tree care is accessible to all. Our team will provide a free estimate and work with you to find solutions that meet both your needs and your budget. We believe that professional tree care should be both effective and affordable, and we strive to make that a reality for every customer.

At Going Green Commercial Cleaning Services, we understand that maintaining a clean and healthy workspace is crucial for both employee productivity and client impressions. Our comprehensive cleaning services in Lafayette, LA include desk cleaning, floor cleaning, carpet cleaning, window cleaning, and more. Each of these services is designed to create an environment that fosters well-being and encourages focus. A clean workplace reduces distractions, promotes safety, and creates a professional image that reflects your company's commitment to quality.

Our janitorial and construction clean-up services are particularly important for businesses that want to maintain a high level of cleanliness even after renovation or heavy foot traffic. Services like floor waxing and toilet cleaning ensure that your facility remains hygienic and presentable at all times. A spotless environment also reduces the spread of germs and illnesses, which is essential for maintaining employee health and minimizing sick days. With Going Green, you're not just choosing a cleaning service; you're investing in the long-term success and reputation of your business.

Going Green Commercial Cleaning Services
147 Banks Ave, Lafayette, LA 70506
337-227-9706

CRYPTO RECOVERY SERVICE - MUYERN TRUST HACKER

( Email: muyerntrusted(@)mail-me(.)com )
The term "crypto theft" describes how fraudsters get and misuse cryptocurrency assets without authorization. The fact that the theft may cause monetary loss, interfere with corporate operations, and erode public confidence in virtual currency makes it a serious worry. Recovering stolen cryptocurrency requires specialized knowledge and techniques that professionals in the field possess. They have experience dealing with crypto theft cases, understand the tactics employed by cybercriminals, and can develop tailored recovery strategies to maximize the chances of successful retrieval. Muyern Trust Hacker demonstrates the highest level of professionalism in the realm of cryptocurrency theft when it comes to reclaiming stolen cryptocurrency. Their team of professionals offers a dependable and relatable recovery service by fusing technical proficiency, and personality. Having dependable expert assistance is essential for the safety of your cryptocurrency holdings. Along the way, Muyern Trust Hacker adds a dash of humor and personality to your team of experts who are committed to retrieving your pilfered cryptocurrency. Protect your investments and put your faith in Muyern Trust Hacker's expertise. Allow them to work with you to protect what is truly yours. Seeking expert assistance becomes crucial for people and organizations trying to recover stolen cryptocurrency as long as the threat of crypto theft persists. Muyern Trust Hacker differentiates by providing specialized techniques and the highest level of professionalism as a group of professionals committed to the recovery process. They have a reputation for being successful in recovering cryptocurrency monies that have been stolen thanks to their demonstrated track record and client endorsements. Individuals and companies can safeguard their priceless cryptocurrency assets and confidently negotiate the murky world of cryptocurrency theft by putting their trust in the knowledge of experts such as Muyern Trust Hacker. Do sure to contact Muyern Trust Hacker for a prompt and effective Bitcoin retrieval on Whats App +1-8-6-3-(606)-8-3-4-7
Regards.

Reliable Fence Cleaning Services by Western Mass Prowash LLC

When it comes to maintaining your property’s exterior, fence cleaning is often overlooked, but it plays an essential role in enhancing the curb appeal and longevity of your fence. If you're searching for a fence cleaning company in Wilbraham, MA, and the surrounding areas, Western Mass Prowash LLC is here to help. We offer top-notch fence cleaning services that restore the beauty and integrity of your fences, whether they’re made of wood, vinyl, or metal.

Why Fence Cleaning Matters
Over time, fences are exposed to the elements, which can cause dirt, mold, mildew, and algae to accumulate on their surfaces. This buildup not only makes your fence look dirty and unattractive, but it can also lead to deterioration if left unchecked. Fence cleaning is an essential part of home and property maintenance, ensuring that your fence looks great and remains in good condition for years to come.

Here are some reasons why regular fence cleaning is important:

Improves Curb Appeal: A clean fence enhances the overall appearance of your home or property, giving it a fresh, inviting look. Whether you're planning to sell or just want to enjoy a beautiful outdoor space, clean fences contribute to a positive first impression.

Prevents Damage: Algae, mold, and mildew can damage your fence material over time. Regular cleaning helps remove these harmful elements and prevents long-term damage, ultimately extending the lifespan of your fence.

Increases Safety: Mold and mildew can create a slippery surface on your fence, which may become hazardous, especially in wet weather. Cleaning your fence regularly can help prevent slips and falls.

Prepares for Staining or Sealing: If you're planning to stain or seal your fence, cleaning it beforehand is a crucial step. A clean surface ensures that the stain or sealant adheres properly, providing better protection for your fence.

Why Choose Western Mass Prowash LLC for Fence Cleaning?
When it comes to fence cleaning, it’s essential to choose a professional company with the right expertise and equipment to ensure a job well done. Western Mass Prowash LLC is a trusted fence cleaning company in Wilbraham, MA, known for delivering outstanding results. Here’s why homeowners and businesses trust us with their fence cleaning needs:

Experienced and Knowledgeable Team: Our team has years of experience in fence cleaning, and we understand the unique challenges that different fence materials pose. Whether your fence is made of wood, vinyl, or metal, we have the expertise to clean it effectively and safely.

Tailored Cleaning Techniques: Different fence materials require different cleaning approaches. We use a variety of techniques, including soft washing and pressure washing, to ensure that your fence is cleaned without causing any damage. Soft washing, in particular, is ideal for delicate surfaces like wood, preventing splintering and discoloration.

Eco-Friendly Solutions: We use biodegradable cleaning products that are safe for your family, pets, and the environment. You can trust us to clean your fence without leaving harmful chemicals behind that could damage your landscape or pose a risk to the environment.

Affordable and Transparent Pricing: At Western Mass Prowash LLC, we offer competitive rates for all of our services. We provide free estimates with no hidden fees, so you’ll know exactly what to expect before we start.

Customer-Focused Service: As a locally owned business, we take pride in delivering exceptional customer service. We work closely with our clients to understand their specific needs and ensure their satisfaction with every job.

Our Fence Cleaning Services
We offer a variety of fence cleaning services tailored to the needs of each client:

Wooden Fence Cleaning: Wood fences can easily accumulate dirt, algae, and mold. Our gentle soft washing techniques ensure that your wood fence is thoroughly cleaned without causing any damage or discoloration. We also remove any buildup that could cause wood rot and decay.

Vinyl Fence Cleaning: Vinyl fences are low-maintenance but can still gather dirt and grime. Our pressure washing methods remove stubborn stains and restore the clean, bright look of your vinyl fence.

Metal Fence Cleaning: Metal fences, such as aluminum or wrought iron, can develop rust and dirt buildup. We clean these surfaces effectively, ensuring they look polished and protected against corrosion.

Fence Staining and Sealing Prep: If you’re planning to stain or seal your fence, our cleaning services provide the perfect foundation for better absorption of stain or sealant, enhancing the protective qualities and appearance of your fence.

Minuteman Press: Your Trusted Print Shop for Quality Printing Services in Minneapolis and Golden Valley, MN

When you need reliable, high-quality printing services, Minuteman Press—formerly known as Brite Color Press—is here to serve you. Located at 644 Mendelssohn Ave N, Minneapolis, MN 55427, we pride ourselves on providing exceptional printing solutions for businesses and individuals in Minneapolis, Golden Valley, and the surrounding areas.

From poster printing in Minneapolis to custom waterproof menu printing, we offer a wide range of printing services that cater to your unique needs.

Print Shop in Golden Valley, MN – Local and Reliable Service
If you're searching for a print shop in Golden Valley, MN, look no further than Minuteman Press. We provide personalized printing services for local businesses, residents, and organizations in Golden Valley. Whether you need business cards, flyers, brochures, or custom promotional materials, our expert team delivers high-quality prints with a quick turnaround time. We understand the needs of the Golden Valley community and are committed to helping you bring your ideas to life.

Poster Printing in Minneapolis – Make Your Message Stand Out
Need poster printing in Minneapolis? Minuteman Press is your go-to provider for eye-catching, vibrant posters that leave a lasting impression. Whether you’re promoting an event, a sale, or showcasing artwork, we specialize in creating high-quality posters in any size or format. Our advanced printing technology ensures sharp, crisp colors and high-resolution prints that make your posters stand out wherever they are displayed.

Printing Companies in Minneapolis, MN – Why Minuteman Press Stands Out
With so many printing companies in Minneapolis, MN, Minuteman Press stands out for its personalized service, exceptional quality, and quick turnaround times. Here’s why we are the preferred choice for businesses and individuals in the area:

Expertise and Experience: With years of experience in the printing industry, we have the knowledge and skills to tackle any project, large or small.

Wide Range of Services: From business printing and marketing materials to custom projects, we offer a full spectrum of printing services to meet all your needs.

State-of-the-Art Technology: We use the latest printing equipment to ensure every project is completed with the highest quality possible.

Fast and Affordable: We provide competitive pricing without compromising on quality. Our fast turnaround times make sure you get your prints when you need them.

Waterproof Menu Printing – Durable and Long-Lasting
If you're in the food service industry and need menu print waterproof materials, Minuteman Press offers durable, high-quality waterproof menu printing solutions. Our waterproof menus are perfect for restaurants, cafes, bars, and catering businesses, ensuring that your menus remain pristine and readable no matter the conditions. Whether you need laminated menus or custom waterproof materials, we can create a solution that fits your business's needs and style.

Why Choose Minuteman Press?
Local and Personalized Service: As a locally owned and operated business, we prioritize customer satisfaction and offer personalized service to every client.

High-Quality Prints: We use the best materials and printing techniques to produce sharp, vibrant, and professional results every time.

Wide Range of Options: Whether you need business cards, banners, custom signs, or waterproof menus, we have the expertise and technology to bring your vision to life.

Quick Turnaround: We understand that time is of the essence. That's why we offer quick turnaround times without sacrificing the quality of our work.

Contact Us Today!
For top-quality printing services in Golden Valley, Minneapolis, and surrounding areas, Minuteman Press is the name you can trust. Call us today at +1 (763) 205-3705 or visit us at 644 Mendelssohn Ave N, Minneapolis, MN 55427 to discuss your printing needs. We look forward to helping you create exceptional printed materials that make an impact!

Minuteman Press – Your local print shop for quality and reliable printing services!

Puran Crypto Recovery: The Best Crypto Recovery Company with Expert Solutions
Why Choose Puran Crypto Recovery?
When it comes to cryptocurrency wallet recovery, you need more than just technical skills; you need a team you can trust. Puran Crypto Recovery is renowned for its industry-leading expertise, ethical practices, and high success rate.

Comprehensive Expertise
Puran Crypto Recovery employs a team of professionals with deep knowledge of blockchain technology, encryption algorithms, and digital forensics. This multidisciplinary approach ensures that every angle of recovery is covered.

Proven Track Record
With years of experience and countless successful recoveries, Puran Crypto Recovery has built a reputation as one of the most reliable recovery services in the industry.

Secure and Confidential Processes
Puran Crypto Recovery understands the sensitivity of your situation. They implement strict confidentiality agreements and cutting-edge security measures to protect your information at every step.

Customized Solutions
No two cases are the same. Puran Crypto Recovery tailors its recovery strategies to fit the specific circumstances of each client, ensuring the best possible outcome.

Transparent Communication
Honesty is a cornerstone of Puran Crypto Recovery’s philosophy. They provide clients with realistic expectations and keep them informed throughout the recovery process.

The Importance of Managing Expectations
While Puran Crypto Recovery offers exceptional services, it’s essential to understand that cryptocurrency recovery is never guaranteed. The decentralized and pseudonymous nature of blockchain technology makes it inherently difficult to reverse transactions or access lost wallets.

Puran Crypto Recovery approaches each case with dedication and professionalism, making every effort to recover your assets. However, clients should view the process as a “best-effort” attempt rather than a certainty.

Preventing Future Losses
Once your wallet is recovered—or if you’re fortunate enough never to lose access—implementing robust security measures is critical to protecting your digital assets.

Use Hardware Wallets
Store your cryptocurrency offline in a hardware wallet to minimize the risk of hacks.

Backup Private Keys and Wallet Files
Maintain multiple secure backups in different locations to safeguard against loss or damage.

Enable Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA)
Adding an extra layer of security can prevent unauthorized access to your wallet.

Stay Informed About Emerging Threats
The cryptocurrency landscape is constantly evolving. Stay updated on the latest scams and security best practices.

Conclusion
Losing access to your cryptocurrency wallet can be a distressing experience, but it’s not the end of the road. By taking prompt and careful action, you can significantly improve your chances of recovery. With the expertise of Puran Crypto Recovery, you can navigate the complex process of wallet recovery with confidence and peace of mind.

Remember, prevention is always better than cure. Secure your wallets, safeguard your private keys, and stay vigilant to protect your valuable assets in the dynamic world of cryptocurrency. If the worst does happen, Puran Crypto Recovery stands ready to help you recover what’s rightfully yours.

Bitcoin and Crypto Lost to Scam Can Now be Recovered / Go to Captain WebGenesis
Reputable Expert in Cryptocurrency Recovery

CAPTAIN WEBGENESIS boasts a team of seasoned professionals who understand the complexities of blockchain technology and digital assets. Their deep knowledge enables them to navigate through intricate recovery processes effectively. Whether it's recovering lost private keys or addressing security breaches, you can rely on their expertise to get your assets back safely. CAPTAIN WEBGENESIS has a remarkable track record of recovering assets for clients, instilling confidence in their methods and practices. His client testimonials and case studies speak volumes about the successful outcomes they have achieved, making them a reliable choice for those in distress.

Email: captainwebgenesis@ hackemail. com

VirPhone: Empowering Your Business with Cloud Phone Systems and VOIP Technology

In today’s fast-paced and digital world, efficient communication is key to the success of any business. Whether you're reaching out to clients, collaborating with remote teams, or handling customer inquiries, having a reliable phone system is essential. VirPhone offers cutting-edge cloud phone systems that are designed to streamline your communication, reduce costs, and improve efficiency. Let’s explore how our cloud phone systems can elevate your business and answer some common questions like, “What is VOIP phone?” and how it can benefit your business.

What is a Cloud Phone System?
A cloud phone system is an advanced communication solution that operates over the internet, rather than relying on traditional landlines. This system provides businesses with a more flexible, scalable, and cost-effective way to manage their communications. VirPhone’s cloud phone systems allow businesses to make and receive calls, send messages, and conduct video conferences—all from the convenience of a cloud-based platform.

With VirPhone, you can enjoy the flexibility of managing your communications from anywhere. Whether you’re in the office, working remotely, or traveling, a cloud phone system ensures you stay connected at all times.

What is VOIP and How Can It Benefit Your Business?
VOIP stands for Voice Over Internet Protocol, which is a technology that allows voice calls to be made over the internet rather than using traditional telephone lines. So, what is VOIP phone? It’s simply a phone system that enables businesses to make calls over the internet.

Unlike traditional phone systems, VOIP phone systems are cost-effective and more flexible, providing features such as call forwarding, voicemail, and voicemail-to-email. VirPhone’s VOIP technology not only reduces your business’s communication costs but also enhances overall productivity by providing features that are more customizable and scalable.

Some of the key benefits of VOIP phone systems include:

Lower Costs: Traditional phone systems charge for long-distance calls. With VOIP, these calls are often free or at a much lower rate.

Scalability: As your business grows, your cloud phone system can easily scale to accommodate more users or advanced features without expensive upgrades.

Flexibility: With VOIP phone systems, employees can make and receive calls anywhere, as long as they have an internet connection. This is ideal for remote teams or employees on the go.

How to Get a Toll-Free Number with VirPhone
One of the most important features for any business is having a toll-free number. A toll-free number makes your business appear professional and accessible, giving customers a way to reach you without incurring charges. VirPhone offers toll-free numbers that are easy to set up and manage through our cloud phone system.

With a toll-free number from VirPhone, customers can call your business without worrying about the cost, regardless of where they are located. This can improve customer satisfaction and make it easier for customers to get in touch with your business. Whether you're conducting customer service calls or receiving inquiries, a toll-free number can help you provide exceptional service.

Calling on a Phone: How VirPhone Enhances Your Business Calls
Whether you’re calling on a phone to reach a client, partner, or team member, VirPhone’s cloud phone system ensures that your calls are clear, reliable, and cost-effective. No more worrying about dropped calls or poor audio quality—our system is designed to provide high-quality call connections, no matter where you are.

Here are some features of VirPhone’s calling on phone services that help improve your business communication:

Crystal-Clear Audio: With VOIP phone systems, you can expect high-definition voice quality that eliminates the usual static or noise found in traditional phone calls.

Call Forwarding and Routing: If you’re unavailable, VirPhone can forward your calls to another number or voicemail. This ensures you never miss an important call.

Voicemail-to-Email: With VirPhone, you can receive voicemails directly in your email inbox, making it easier to manage messages and respond promptly.

Why Choose VirPhone for Your Business Communication?
At VirPhone, we understand the importance of reliable communication for businesses. Our cloud phone systems are designed to provide advanced features and excellent call quality, all at an affordable price. Here’s why businesses trust VirPhone for their communication needs:

Affordable: Our VOIP phone systems are cost-effective and provide significant savings over traditional phone systems.

Flexible and Scalable: Whether you're a small business or a large enterprise, our systems grow with you. Adding more lines or features is easy and can be done remotely.

Matt Hansen: Your Trusted Real Estate Agent in Southeast Idaho

If you're searching for a real estate agent in Southeast Idaho or looking for realtors near Pocatello, ID, Matt Hansen at Keller Williams Realty East Idaho is here to provide expert services tailored to your real estate needs. Whether you're buying or selling, Matt's deep knowledge of the Southeast Idaho market ensures that your experience is as smooth and successful as possible.

Why Choose Matt Hansen as Your Real Estate Agent in Southeast Idaho?
The real estate market in Southeast Idaho offers a unique blend of opportunities, from homes in quiet rural areas to properties in the heart of bustling Pocatello. Understanding these nuances is essential, and that’s where Matt Hansen comes in. As a local expert with years of experience, Matt knows the area inside and out, making him the ideal choice for anyone looking to buy or sell real estate in this region.

Here’s why Matt is the perfect real estate agent in Southeast Idaho:

In-Depth Market Knowledge: Southeast Idaho is diverse, with rural properties, suburban neighborhoods, and city homes all having different characteristics. Matt stays up-to-date on market trends, property values, and community developments, ensuring that you receive the best advice possible when making decisions.

Personalized Service: Every client has unique needs, whether you're a first-time homebuyer or a seasoned investor. Matt takes the time to understand your specific goals and tailors his approach to meet them. He provides guidance through every step of the buying or selling process, ensuring a smooth experience.

Expert Negotiation: One of Matt’s key strengths is his negotiation skills. Whether you’re looking to buy or sell, Matt works diligently to ensure you get the best deal possible. He’ll help you navigate offers, counteroffers, and contingencies with ease.

Local Connections: With years of experience as a real estate agent in Southeast Idaho, Matt has built strong relationships with other professionals in the industry, including mortgage brokers, inspectors, contractors, and more. These connections can be invaluable during your real estate transaction, making the process more efficient and seamless.

Realtors Near Pocatello, ID – Why Matt Hansen Stands Out
Pocatello, ID, is the heart of Southeast Idaho, and if you're searching for realtors near Pocatello, ID, Matt Hansen should be at the top of your list. His extensive experience with Pocatello properties means he has the local insight to help you find the perfect home or investment opportunity.

Expert Knowledge of Pocatello’s Neighborhoods: From historic homes in the city’s core to newer developments on the outskirts, Matt understands the unique characteristics of Pocatello's various neighborhoods. Whether you want to be close to schools, parks, or the city center, he can help you find a location that suits your lifestyle.

Comprehensive Services: Matt provides a full range of services to both buyers and sellers. Whether you’re looking to buy a home in Pocatello or sell an existing property, Matt offers expert guidance throughout the entire process. His goal is to make sure you feel confident and well-informed every step of the way.

Commitment to Client Satisfaction: With Matt, you’re not just another transaction—you're a valued client. His commitment to your satisfaction means he listens to your needs, answers your questions, and provides consistent communication from start to finish.

Why Southeast Idaho is a Great Place to Buy or Sell
Southeast Idaho offers an attractive combination of affordable housing, scenic beauty, and access to outdoor activities. Whether you're drawn to the city life in Pocatello or the quieter charm of rural towns like Chubbuck or Blackfoot, there is something for everyone in this region.

Affordability: Compared to larger cities in Idaho or neighboring states, Southeast Idaho offers a more affordable cost of living, including housing prices, making it an ideal location for first-time homebuyers or those looking to downsize.

Outdoor Recreation: Southeast Idaho is known for its incredible outdoor recreation, including hiking, skiing, and fishing, which makes it an ideal place for those who love nature and an active lifestyle.

Strong Community: The cities and towns of Southeast Idaho are known for their friendly communities and welcoming atmosphere. Whether you're moving to the area for work, school, or retirement, you'll find a tight-knit community ready to make you feel at home.

Contact Matt Hansen for Your Real Estate Needs
If you're ready to work with an experienced real estate agent in Southeast Idaho, Matt Hansen at Keller Williams Realty East Idaho is ready to assist you.
Contact Matt Hansen Today
Matt Hansen – Keller Williams Realty East Idaho
1777 E. Clark St. #110, Pocatello, Idaho 83201
Phone: +1 208-220-0566

KAM Roofing and Restoration: Leading Roofing Experts in Olathe, KS, and Surrounding Areas

At KAM Roofing and Restoration, we pride ourselves on offering top-tier roofing solutions to both residential and commercial property owners across the Kansas City metro area. Located at 2012 E Prairie Cir B, Olathe, KS 66062, our team of experts provides high-quality roof installations, repairs, and restorations to ensure that your property is protected, no matter the season. With extensive experience and a commitment to customer satisfaction, we are the trusted name in the roofing industry.

Commercial Roof Installation in Lenexa, KS
When it comes to commercial properties, the roof is one of the most crucial aspects to protect your investment and ensure business continuity. At KAM Roofing and Restoration, we specialize in commercial roof installation in Lenexa, KS. Whether you're building a new commercial space or need a roof replacement for an existing property, our team is equipped to handle every aspect of your roofing project with precision.

We work with a variety of durable materials suitable for commercial buildings, including TPO, EPDM, and modified bitumen, designed to withstand the harsh Kansas weather. Our expert team ensures every installation meets the highest standards, offering reliable and long-lasting protection for your business. From initial consultation to project completion, we ensure that every step is executed with care and professionalism.

Metal Roof Contractor in Shawnee, KS
When it comes to durability, energy efficiency, and style, metal roofs stand out as one of the best options available. If you're looking for a metal roof contractor in Shawnee, KS, KAM Roofing and Restoration has you covered. Our skilled team specializes in the installation and maintenance of metal roofs that provide exceptional strength and long-term value to your home or business.

Metal roofing offers many advantages, including superior durability, minimal maintenance, and energy efficiency. Whether you're interested in a standing seam metal roof, corrugated metal, or another style, we provide expert advice on the best solution for your needs. As a trusted metal roof contractor in Shawnee, KS, we ensure that your new roof not only meets your aesthetic preferences but also stands up to the harsh Kansas weather for many years to come.

Flat Roof Repair in Prairie Village, KS
Flat roofs can be a fantastic option for both residential and commercial properties, but they do require regular maintenance to prevent leaks and other issues. If you need flat roof repair in Prairie Village, KS, KAM Roofing and Restoration is here to help. We specialize in repairing flat roofs of all types, including TPO, EPDM, and modified bitumen systems, and our team is trained to quickly identify and address any damage.

From small leaks to significant wear and tear, we offer comprehensive flat roof repair services that restore your roof’s function and longevity. We understand the unique challenges flat roofs present, such as water pooling and drainage issues, and we have the experience to solve these problems efficiently. With our expert services, you can trust that your flat roof will continue to protect your property for years to come.

Why Choose KAM Roofing and Restoration?
Expertise You Can Trust: Our team has years of experience in roofing and restoration, providing exceptional results on every project.

Comprehensive Roofing Services: From commercial roof installations to metal roofing and flat roof repairs, we offer a full range of roofing solutions for homes and businesses alike.

Affordable Pricing: We provide competitive pricing without sacrificing quality, ensuring you get the best value for your investment.

Customer-Focused Service: At KAM Roofing and Restoration, customer satisfaction is our top priority. We work closely with each client to understand their needs and deliver a roofing solution tailored to them.

Licensed and Insured: We are a fully licensed and insured roofing company, giving you peace of mind that your property is in safe hands.

Contact KAM Roofing and Restoration Today
For high-quality roofing services in Olathe, Lenexa, Shawnee, Prairie Village, and surrounding areas, KAM Roofing and Restoration is your trusted partner. Whether you need a commercial roof installation, a metal roof contractor, or flat roof repairs, our team is ready to assist you.

Call us today at +1 (913) 283-7799 to schedule a consultation or request a free estimate. Let us protect your property with the best roofing solutions available!

Choose KAM Roofing and Restoration for all your roofing needs in the Kansas City area, and experience the difference of working with professionals who care about the safety and longevity of your roof.

Diamond Estate Services: The Premier Choice for Celebrity Estate Services and Sales
At Diamond Estate Services, we specialize in providing top-tier estate services and liquidations, particularly for high-profile clients. Whether you're seeking celebrity estate services, managing celebrity estate sales, or organizing an estate sale for Clint Eastwood, we offer a full range of professional services designed to make your estate sale process seamless, discreet, and profitable.

Celebrity Estate Services: Tailored Solutions for High-Profile Clients
Diamond Estate Services understands that celebrity estate services require a higher level of professionalism, confidentiality, and expertise. We work with celebrities, public figures, and high-net-worth individuals to manage their estates with care and precision. From personal possessions to rare collectibles and valuable assets, we offer a customized approach to meet the specific needs of each client.

Our celebrity estate services include:

Confidentiality and Discretion: We understand the importance of privacy for our high-profile clients. Our team ensures that your estate sale or liquidation is handled with the utmost discretion, keeping your personal information and assets secure.

Valuation and Appraisal: Our experts provide professional appraisals for all types of assets, including fine art, luxury items, collectibles, and antiques, ensuring you receive the highest value for your items.

Customized Solutions: Whether you are downsizing, liquidating an entire estate, or selling specific items, we tailor our services to fit your exact needs, ensuring a smooth and efficient process.

For those who require celebrity estate services, Diamond Estate Services offers unparalleled expertise, professionalism, and discretion.

Celebrity Estate Sales: Discreet, Professional, and Profitable
When it comes to celebrity estate sales, we understand that these sales require a unique level of care and attention. Celebrities often have estates that include high-value items such as rare art collections, vintage cars, designer furniture, jewelry, and other luxury assets. At Diamond Estate Services, we specialize in handling celebrity estate sales, ensuring that your items are sold at their highest value to the right buyers.

Here’s what we offer for celebrity estate sales:

Specialized Marketing: Our team uses tailored marketing strategies to attract the right buyers for your estate. We target affluent buyers, collectors, and specialized markets to ensure that each item is sold for the best possible price.

Professional Handling: Whether it's a high-end item, a personal artifact, or a luxury collection, we handle each piece with the care it deserves. Our team is experienced in managing high-profile estate sales, and we treat every item with respect and professionalism.

Maximized Value: We pride ourselves on achieving the highest sale prices for your items by leveraging our expertise, extensive network of buyers, and marketing strategies to ensure a profitable sale.

If you're planning a celebrity estate sale, Diamond Estate Services is your trusted partner for ensuring a seamless, professional, and profitable experience.

Estate Sale Clint Eastwood: Managing Iconic Estate Liquidations
A Clint Eastwood estate sale is more than just a typical estate liquidation—it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to acquire iconic memorabilia, rare collectibles, and personal treasures from one of the most legendary figures in Hollywood. Diamond Estate Services is well-equipped to handle such high-profile and iconic sales with the discretion and care they require.

For an estate sale for Clint Eastwood, we offer:

Expert Appraisal of Iconic Items: From Eastwood's film memorabilia to his personal collection of art and antiques, we provide expert valuations to ensure that every item is priced correctly.

Specialized Marketing: A Clint Eastwood estate sale requires a tailored approach to attract the right buyers—collectors, film buffs, and luxury buyers who appreciate the value of Eastwood's legacy. Our team uses specialized marketing techniques to bring the right audience to the sale.

Handling High-Profile Sales: As experts in celebrity estate sales, we understand how to handle the logistics of such a sale, ensuring that every aspect—from pricing to post-sale cleanup—is done seamlessly.

If you're handling a Clint Eastwood estate sale or any other high-profile liquidation, Diamond Estate Services provides the expertise and professionalism needed to execute a successful event.

QROPS Direct – Your Trusted India QROPS Expert for UK Pension Fund Transfer to India

Transferring your UK pension fund to India can be a complex process, requiring expert knowledge of both UK pension regulations and Indian financial laws. At QROPS Direct, we are proud to be recognized as a leading India QROPS expert and QROPS specialist India, providing clear guidance and professional support for clients wishing to transfer their UK pension funds efficiently and securely.

What is a UK Pension Fund Transfer to India?
A UK pension fund transfer to India involves moving your accumulated pension savings from the UK to a Qualifying Recognised Overseas Pension Scheme (QROPS) based in India. This allows expatriates and Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) to consolidate their retirement savings locally, potentially benefiting from more favorable tax treatment and easier access to their pension funds.

Why Choose QROPS Direct – Your QROPS Specialist India?
Choosing the right specialist to handle your UK pension fund transfer is vital to ensure compliance, minimize costs, and maximize your retirement benefits. Here’s why QROPS Direct stands out as your trusted partner:

Expertise You Can Trust: As an established India QROPS expert, we possess in-depth knowledge of UK and Indian pension rules, making the transfer process seamless.

Tailored Pension Solutions: We understand that each client has unique retirement goals. Our advice is customized to suit your specific financial situation.

Transparent & Reliable: At QROPS Direct, we pride ourselves on clear communication, ensuring you understand every step of your pension transfer.

Regulatory Compliance: We guarantee that all transfers comply with HMRC guidelines and Indian regulations to protect your pension fund.

Dedicated Support: From initial consultation to post-transfer management, our team is committed to providing ongoing support.

How We Help with Your UK Pension Fund Transfer to India
Our step-by-step approach ensures a smooth and hassle-free pension transfer:

Comprehensive review of your existing UK pension plan.

Detailed consultation to understand your retirement objectives.

Guidance on selecting the most suitable QROPS scheme in India.

Management of all paperwork and communications involved in the transfer.

Continued support to help you manage your pension effectively once transferred.

Contact QROPS Direct Today
Ready to discuss your UK pension fund transfer to India? Reach out to QROPS Direct, your trusted India QROPS expert and QROPS specialist India, for expert advice and personalized service.

Business Address:
3rd Floor, #51, 1st Main Rd, Gandhi Nagar, Adyar,
Chennai, Tamil Nadu 600020

Contact Number: +91 99621 70707

Secure your financial future with expert guidance from QROPS Direct. Let us help you make the most of your UK pension in India.

BONJOUR Senior Elder Home Care: Expert Alzheimer’s Around-the-Clock Care & Live-In Memory Care in New Jersey
At BONJOUR Senior Elder Home Care, we know how challenging it can be to care for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of memory loss. That's why we specialize in providing Alzheimer’s around-the-clock care and live-in memory care services in New Jersey, ensuring that your loved one is cared for with compassion, respect, and dignity.

Why Choose BONJOUR Senior Elder Home Care?
When it comes to dementia and Alzheimer’s care, your loved one deserves the best. At BONJOUR, we offer comprehensive, personalized care solutions to ensure that their needs are met 24/7. Here's why families in New Jersey trust us with their loved ones:

1. Specialized Alzheimer’s Around-the-Clock Care
Alzheimer’s care requires a unique approach, and we specialize in offering around-the-clock care for individuals living with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Our team of skilled caregivers provides continuous supervision, assistance, and emotional support to ensure that your family member remains safe, comfortable, and engaged at all times.

2. Live-In Memory Care in New Jersey
We understand that sometimes, families may need a higher level of care for a loved one with memory impairment. Our live-in memory care services in New Jersey are tailored to meet the individual needs of your loved one. With our live-in caregivers, you can rest assured that your loved one is not only cared for physically but emotionally, as well. We provide companionship, memory stimulation, and activities that help keep your loved one engaged and mentally active.

3. Experienced and Compassionate Caregivers
At BONJOUR, we handpick our caregivers for their expertise, experience, and compassion. Our team members are trained to provide top-notch care for individuals with Alzheimer’s and dementia, helping with everything from daily activities like dressing and bathing to more complex tasks like medication management.

4. Customized Care Plans
Every individual is different, and their care plan should reflect that. Our team works closely with you to develop a personalized care plan that is tailored to your loved one’s specific needs and preferences. Whether your loved one needs assistance with basic tasks or requires full-time, hands-on care, we’ll design a plan that works for them.

5. Peace of Mind for Families
We know how important it is to feel confident that your loved one is in good hands. By offering Alzheimer’s around-the-clock care and live-in memory care, we ensure that you and your family can have peace of mind knowing that your loved one is being cared for by dedicated professionals who truly care.

Services We Offer
Alzheimer’s Around-the-Clock Care: Continuous supervision and support, including personal care, meal preparation, medication management, and more.

Live-In Memory Care New Jersey: 24/7 care from a dedicated live-in caregiver, including companionship and memory-enhancing activities.

Assistance with daily living activities (ADLs)

Respite care for family caregivers

Medication reminders and management

Personal hygiene and grooming assistance

Emotional support and companionship

Light housekeeping and meal preparation

Why BONJOUR Is the Right Choice for You
1. Expertise in Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care
Our caregivers are highly trained to work with individuals who have Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. We understand the nuances of memory loss and are equipped to provide the specialized care your loved one deserves.

2. Personalized and Compassionate Care
Every client is treated as an individual. We create care plans tailored to your loved one’s preferences, routines, and needs. Our team is dedicated to ensuring that your family member feels valued and supported every step of the way.

3. 24/7 Availability
Our around-the-clock care ensures that your loved one is always in capable hands, no matter the time of day or night. Whether it's for assistance during the day or overnight care, our caregivers are there for your loved one every step of the way.

4. Family Peace of Mind
With BONJOUR’s live-in memory care services, you can enjoy peace of mind knowing that your loved one is receiving constant care in the comfort of their own home.

Contact Us Today
If you are looking for Alzheimer’s around-the-clock care or live-in memory care services in New Jersey, BONJOUR Senior Elder Home Care is here to help. Our team is dedicated to providing the best care for your loved one, ensuring their safety, comfort, and emotional well-being.

Visit us:
BONJOUR Senior Elder Home Care
210 Haven Ave, Scotch Plains, NJ 07076, United States

Call us:
+1 (908) 447-4896

Let us be your partner in providing compassionate and professional care for your loved one. Contact us today to learn more about our services or to schedule a consultation.

GTA HVAC Services: Your Trusted Industrial HVAC Contractor in the GTA and Expert Office HVAC Repair in Toronto

At GTA HVAC Services, located at 1277 Wilson Ave, North York, ON M3M 3C6, Canada, we provide high-quality HVAC solutions for both industrial and office environments. As your reliable industrial HVAC contractor in the GTA and specialists in office HVAC repair in Toronto, we are committed to ensuring that your heating, cooling, and ventilation systems operate efficiently, creating a comfortable and safe environment for both employees and clients.

Whether you’re managing a large industrial facility or a small office space, our team of experts is here to provide the HVAC services you need to keep your space comfortable year-round.

Industrial HVAC Contractor in the GTA
As an industrial HVAC contractor in the GTA, GTA HVAC Services has the expertise and experience necessary to handle the unique demands of industrial heating, cooling, and ventilation systems. From manufacturing plants to large warehouses, we offer comprehensive HVAC services to ensure your industrial space runs smoothly and efficiently.

Our Industrial HVAC Services Include:

HVAC Installation: We provide customized installation solutions for large industrial facilities, including energy-efficient heating and cooling systems tailored to meet your specific needs.
Routine Maintenance: To avoid costly downtime and ensure the longevity of your HVAC system, we offer regular maintenance, including filter changes, inspections, and system calibrations.
HVAC Repairs: If your industrial HVAC system breaks down, our team is available to diagnose and repair any issues quickly and efficiently, minimizing disruptions to your operations.
Air Quality Solutions: We also offer air filtration, ventilation, and humidity control solutions to improve air quality and create a safer work environment in industrial settings.
With GTA HVAC Services, you can trust that your industrial HVAC systems will be running at their best, keeping your workers comfortable and your operations on track.

Office HVAC Repair in Toronto
At GTA HVAC Services, we also specialize in office HVAC repair in Toronto, understanding that a comfortable office environment is key to employee productivity and client satisfaction. Whether you’re dealing with heating problems during the winter months or cooling issues in the summer, our team is here to provide fast and reliable repairs to ensure your office remains comfortable year-round.

Common Office HVAC Issues We Repair:

Air Conditioning Problems: If your office air conditioning system isn’t cooling properly, it can create an uncomfortable working environment. Our team provides fast repairs to restore comfort and productivity.
Heating System Failure: When your office heating system breaks down, it can make the space uncomfortable for employees and clients. We offer quick heating repairs to restore warmth during cold weather.
Poor Air Quality: If your office is suffering from poor air circulation, excessive dust, or humidity problems, we can provide solutions such as air purifiers, ventilation repairs, and humidification systems.
Temperature Inconsistency: If certain areas of your office are too hot while others are too cold, we can identify and resolve issues with your HVAC system to maintain a consistent, comfortable temperature throughout the space.
Our expert technicians are well-versed in all aspects of office HVAC systems, and we offer office HVAC repair in Toronto that is fast, effective, and designed to minimize disruptions to your workday.

Why Choose GTA HVAC Services?
Experience with Industrial and Commercial HVAC: Whether you need industrial HVAC contractor services in the GTA or office HVAC repair in Toronto, our team is experienced in handling a wide range of HVAC systems, from large industrial units to office-sized systems.
Fast and Efficient Repairs: We understand the urgency of HVAC repairs, especially in industrial and office environments. Our technicians are committed to providing prompt, reliable service to get your systems back in working order as quickly as possible.
Energy-Efficient Solutions: At GTA HVAC Services, we offer energy-efficient HVAC solutions for both industrial and office spaces, helping you save money on energy bills while reducing your environmental footprint.
Comprehensive HVAC Services: From installation and maintenance to repair and air quality improvements, we offer a full range of services to keep your HVAC systems running smoothly and efficiently.
Serving the GTA
Whether you’re looking for an industrial HVAC contractor in the GTA or need office HVAC repair in Toronto, GTA HVAC Services is here to help. We provide reliable, professional HVAC services for a wide range of commercial and industrial applications, ensuring that your space stays comfortable, safe, and productive year-round.

Estate Lawyer in Miami: Trusted Legal Services from The Schoonover Law Firm, P.A.

Navigating the complexities of estate planning and administration can be overwhelming, especially when you are dealing with the emotions of losing a loved one or planning for the future. At The Schoonover Law Firm, P.A., we provide expert legal services to guide you through every aspect of estate planning, probate, and estate administration. As a trusted estate lawyer in Miami, our team is committed to providing you with the knowledge, support, and personalized attention you need during life’s most challenging moments.

Why You Need an Estate Lawyer in Miami

Estate planning is an essential part of ensuring that your wishes are respected and your loved ones are protected. Whether you’re creating a will, setting up a trust, or dealing with estate administration, having a knowledgeable estate lawyer by your side can make all the difference. An estate lawyer can help you navigate Florida’s complex estate laws and avoid common pitfalls, ensuring that your estate plan is both effective and legally sound.

What is Estate Planning?

Estate planning involves making decisions about how your assets will be distributed after your death. It also includes appointing someone to manage your affairs if you become incapacitated and determining who will care for your minor children, if applicable. While the process can seem daunting, estate planning helps to avoid confusion, delays, and disputes among family members after your passing.

Key components of estate planning may include:

Wills: A will outlines how your assets will be distributed after your death, and it allows you to name guardians for your children or dependents.

Trusts: A trust allows you to transfer assets to a trustee to manage on behalf of beneficiaries. It can help avoid the probate process and provide tax benefits.

Powers of Attorney: These documents allow you to designate someone to make financial or healthcare decisions on your behalf if you become unable to do so.

Healthcare Directives: These documents specify your preferences for medical treatment and end-of-life care.

An experienced estate lawyer ensures that these documents are prepared correctly and in compliance with Florida laws, helping you avoid potential complications in the future.

How The Schoonover Law Firm, P.A. Can Help

At The Schoonover Law Firm, P.A., we specialize in estate planning, probate, and estate administration services. Here’s how we can assist you:

Estate Planning and Will Drafting: Our experienced estate lawyers can help you draft a will that outlines your wishes regarding asset distribution, guardianship, and other important matters. We ensure that your will is legally sound and reflects your intentions clearly.

Trust Creation and Administration: We can help you set up various types of trusts, such as revocable living trusts, irrevocable trusts, and special needs trusts. Trusts can help you avoid the probate process and ensure your beneficiaries receive their inheritance in a timely and efficient manner.

Probate and Estate Administration: If you’ve been named the executor of an estate or are dealing with the estate of a loved one, our attorneys can guide you through the probate process. Probate involves validating the will, paying debts, and distributing assets, and we can help you navigate the process smoothly.

Estate Disputes and Litigation: Sometimes, family members or other beneficiaries may contest a will or trust. We offer legal representation in estate litigation matters, helping to resolve disputes over asset distribution, executor duties, and other estate-related conflicts.

Guardianship and Conservatorship: If you need to establish a guardianship or conservatorship for a minor or incapacitated individual, we can help you navigate the legal process and ensure that the right person is appointed to care for them.

Why Choose The Schoonover Law Firm, P.A.?

Experienced Estate Lawyers: Our team has years of experience in estate law and is well-versed in Florida’s estate planning and probate regulations. We are committed to providing high-quality legal services that protect your interests and meet your needs.

Personalized Attention: We understand that every client has unique needs. That’s why we take the time to listen to your goals and craft an estate plan that aligns with your wishes and concerns.

Compassionate Legal Support: Estate matters can be emotional and stressful, especially when dealing with a loved one’s estate. We offer empathetic support and clear guidance throughout the entire process, ensuring that you feel informed and confident every step of the way.

LOST FUNDS TO A FAKE PLATFORM - RECOVERY HELP NEEDED HIRE ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST

As the popularity of cryptocurrencies continues to rise, so does the risk of losing access to these valuable digital assets—whether through hacking, forgotten credentials, or accidental transactions. That’s where ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST steps in as a true game-changer. Specializing in Bitcoin recovery, they help users regain access to lost or stolen assets with precision and care.

ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST has established itself as a leader in the field of cryptocurrency recovery, offering services tailored to the unique challenges faced by both individual investors and businesses. Whether you’ve lost access to your wallet or experienced a security breach, their team is equipped with the tools and expertise to help you recover your assets quickly and securely. WhatsApp info:+12 (72332)—8343

In a landscape where cyber threats are becoming increasingly sophisticated, having a trusted partner like ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST is essential. Their advanced recovery techniques, combined with in-depth knowledge of Bitcoin transactions, ensure a thorough and effective recovery process. They understand how stressful and overwhelming it can be to lose access to your digital funds, which is why their approach is both professional and compassionate. Website info: h t t p s:// adware recovery specialist. com

From personal experience, I can confidently say that ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST transformed the way I handle Bitcoin recovery. Their dedication and effectiveness gave me peace of mind, knowing I had a team I could rely on. With their support, I now approach cryptocurrency investment with confidence rather than fear. Email info: Adware recovery specialist @ auctioneer. net

ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST isn’t just another service provider—they are pioneers setting a new benchmark in the crypto recovery space. Their client-first mindset, cutting-edge solutions, and unwavering commitment to success make them the go-to experts for anyone looking to reclaim their digital assets. If you’re seeking a reliable, results-driven partner in Bitcoin recovery, look no further than ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. Telegram info: h t t p s:// t. me / adware recovery specialist1

On The Move Moving and Junk: Your Trusted Moving Experts in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham
When it comes to moving, finding the best movers can make all the difference. Whether you’re relocating to a new home, office, or need junk removal services, On The Move Moving and Junk offers professional and reliable services in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham. We are dedicated to providing seamless, efficient, and affordable moving solutions for every client.

With years of experience and a commitment to customer satisfaction, we are proud to be considered the best movers in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham. Here's why you should choose On The Move Moving and Junk for your next move.

Why Choose On The Move Moving and Junk?
Best Movers in Mississauga: Are you looking for the best movers in Mississauga? Look no further! At On The Move Moving and Junk, we offer top-notch moving services tailored to your specific needs. From residential moves to office relocations, we provide fast, reliable, and affordable moving solutions to ensure a hassle-free experience.

Best Movers in Toronto: When it comes to moving in Toronto, our team of expert movers is here to help. Whether you are moving to a new condo, house, or apartment, we are the best movers in Toronto to handle all your moving needs. Our team is experienced in navigating Toronto's busy streets, ensuring your items are delivered safely and on time.

Best Movers in Aurora: Moving in Aurora? At On The Move Moving and Junk, we pride ourselves on being the best movers in Aurora. Our team is equipped to handle any type of move, from local to long-distance, residential to commercial. We take care of your belongings with the utmost care and attention, providing you with a smooth, efficient moving experience.

Best Movers in Barrie: If you're planning a move in Barrie, our expert movers are here to make your transition as seamless as possible. As the best movers in Barrie, we offer a full range of moving services, including packing, loading, and unloading. Whether you're moving within Barrie or to another city, we make sure everything is handled with care.

Best Movers in Beaverton: At On The Move Moving and Junk, we are proud to be the best movers in Beaverton. Our team offers professional and affordable moving services to homeowners and businesses alike. Whether you need help with a small local move or a larger commercial relocation, we’re here to help.

Best Movers in Markham: When you need the best movers in Markham, we are the go-to choice. Our moving services are designed to meet your needs, whether you’re relocating to a new apartment or moving your office across town. We ensure that your move is completed on time, on budget, and without any stress.

Our Moving Services
Residential Moves: Whether you’re moving to a new home, apartment, or condo, On The Move Moving and Junk offers comprehensive residential moving services. We take care of everything, from packing and disassembling furniture to safely transporting your belongings to your new home.

Commercial Moves: Our team also specializes in commercial relocations. Whether you’re moving an office, retail store, or warehouse, we offer best movers in Toronto and beyond to ensure that your business move is smooth and efficient, with minimal downtime.

Packing and Unpacking Services: Packing can be one of the most stressful parts of moving. Our team of professionals will carefully pack and unpack your items, making sure everything is securely transported and ready for use in your new location.

Junk Removal: In addition to our moving services, we also provide junk removal services for those who need to clear out unwanted items. We help you declutter before or after a move, ensuring your space is clean and organized.

Why On The Move Moving and Junk?
Experienced Team: As the best movers in Mississauga, Toronto, Aurora, Barrie, Beaverton, and Markham, our team is experienced and trained to handle any type of move with ease. We ensure that your belongings are carefully packed, transported, and unloaded safely.

Affordable Pricing: We offer competitive and transparent pricing with no hidden fees, ensuring that you receive the best value for your money. Whether you’re moving across town or to a different city, we provide affordable moving services without compromising on quality.

Comprehensive Moving Solutions: From residential moves to commercial relocations, we offer a wide range of moving services to meet your needs. We can also assist with packing, unpacking, and junk removal to ensure a stress-free experience.

Efficient and Reliable: We understand that time is valuable, so we make sure to stick to schedules and deadlines, ensuring that your move is completed quickly and without delays.

Vered Hair Salon: The Best Hair Extensions in Los Angeles

If you’re looking for the best hair extensions in Los Angeles, Vered Hair Salon is your destination for premium, natural-looking hair extensions that will transform your look. Located at 8539 W Sunset Blvd #17, West Hollywood, CA 90069, just a short drive from the heart of Los Angeles, our salon specializes in providing high-quality hair extensions that blend seamlessly with your natural hair, giving you longer, fuller, and more beautiful hair.

Why Choose Vered Hair Salon for Hair Extensions in Los Angeles?
At Vered Hair Salon, we understand how important it is to find a trusted and experienced stylist for your hair extensions in Los Angeles. Here’s why our salon stands out as one of the best in the area:

Expert Stylists: Our team of professional stylists has years of experience working with various hair extension techniques. We specialize in tape-in extensions, fusion extensions, micro-link extensions, and clip-in extensions, ensuring that we can meet the unique needs of every client.

High-Quality Hair Extensions: We use only 100% human hair for our extensions, ensuring a natural look and feel that perfectly blends with your own hair. The quality of the hair extensions we provide guarantees long-lasting, beautiful results that will leave you feeling confident and stunning.

Customized Solutions: At Vered Hair Salon, we don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach. We take the time to assess your hair type, texture, and color to provide you with a personalized extension solution that complements your style. Whether you’re looking for more volume, length, or a complete hair makeover, we have the perfect extension for you.

Seamless Blending: Our stylists are experts in blending hair extensions with your natural hair so they look flawless and undetectable. From matching color to creating a natural flow, we ensure your extensions blend seamlessly with your own hair for a beautiful, natural look.

Convenient Location in Los Angeles: While we are located in West Hollywood, we serve clients from all over Los Angeles. Our salon is easy to find and conveniently located, making it a perfect choice for anyone searching for hair extensions in Los Angeles.

Our Hair Extension Services
At Vered Hair Salon, we offer a variety of hair extension services to suit every need:

Tape-In Extensions: One of the most popular methods, tape-in extensions are lightweight and discreet, offering a natural-looking result that blends seamlessly with your own hair. Perfect for adding length and volume without any bulk.

Fusion Hair Extensions: For a more permanent option, fusion extensions are applied strand by strand using a keratin bond. This method provides a durable and long-lasting result, creating a beautiful, natural appearance.

Micro-Link Hair Extensions: Micro-link extensions are applied using small beads and do not require glue or heat. This method is a great option for those looking for an easy-to-maintain and natural look.

Clip-In Extensions: If you’re looking for a temporary transformation, clip-in extensions are an ideal option. They allow you to add volume and length quickly for special occasions or everyday wear.

Custom Blending & Matching: Our expert stylists will match the color, texture, and density of your extensions to your natural hair, ensuring a flawless, custom result.

Why Hair Extensions at Vered Hair Salon?
When you choose Vered Hair Salon for your hair extensions in Los Angeles, you’re choosing quality, professionalism, and dedication. We offer a comfortable and welcoming environment where you can relax and let our experts work their magic. Whether you want to add a little extra volume or completely transform your hair, our team is here to make it happen.

Visit Vered Hair Salon Today
If you’re ready to experience the best hair extensions in Los Angeles, Vered Hair Salon is here to help you achieve the hair of your dreams. Our skilled stylists, personalized service, and high-quality extensions ensure you get beautiful, natural-looking results that will leave you feeling confident and gorgeous.

Contact Us
For more information or to schedule a consultation, call +1 (310) 659-3030 today. We look forward to helping you get the beautiful, long hair you've always dreamed of!

VIP Transfers Chania: Luxury and Comfort with Chania Taxi Transfer

When you’re looking for the ultimate in comfort, reliability, and professionalism during your travels in Crete, look no further than Chania Taxi Transfer. Our VIP transfers Chania service offers you a premium travel experience, tailored to your specific needs. Whether you're arriving at Chania International Airport, heading to a special event, or simply want to enjoy the best that Crete has to offer, our VIP transfer services are designed to provide you with a smooth and luxurious journey.

Why Choose VIP Transfers Chania with Chania Taxi Transfer?
At Chania Taxi Transfer, we understand that your travel experience is important, and we are dedicated to making your time on Crete as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Our VIP transfers Chania service is specifically designed for those who demand the highest level of service, comfort, and convenience. Here’s why you should choose our VIP transfers Chania:

Premium Vehicles: Our fleet consists of high-end, well-maintained vehicles equipped with all the modern amenities you would expect from a luxury transfer. From leather seating to advanced air conditioning, we ensure that you experience the highest level of comfort.

Professional and Discreet Drivers: Our experienced and courteous drivers are committed to delivering a first-class experience. They are trained to ensure your comfort and safety, while always maintaining a discreet and professional demeanor throughout your journey.

On-Time Guarantee: When you book a VIP transfer Chania, you can trust that our drivers will be there on time, whether you're arriving at Chania International Airport or need transportation to a special event or destination.

Personalized Service: Every client is unique, and so are their travel needs. Whether you require extra luggage space, special accommodations, or a tailored route, we are happy to meet your specific requests for a truly customized experience.

VIP Transfers for All Occasions
Chania Taxi Transfer offers a wide range of VIP transfers Chania services, so you can enjoy luxury transportation for any occasion:

Airport Transfers: Start your holiday or business trip in style with a VIP transfer from Chania Airport to your hotel, villa, or any other destination in Crete. We provide direct and seamless transfers, ensuring that you travel in comfort and luxury.

Corporate Travel: Impress clients or colleagues with our premium transfer services. We offer punctual, reliable, and luxurious transportation for business meetings, corporate events, and conferences across Chania and beyond.

Weddings and Special Events: Make your special day even more memorable by arriving in style. Whether you're attending a wedding, gala, or any other prestigious event, our VIP transfers Chania ensure that you travel in luxury and elegance.

Private Tours: Explore the beauty of Crete with one of our personalized VIP tours. Our drivers can take you to the island's most beautiful locations, from charming villages to breathtaking beaches, all while ensuring your comfort and privacy.

Why VIP Transfers in Chania Are the Best Way to Travel
Crete is known for its stunning landscapes, historic sites, and beautiful coastal towns. Whether you’re visiting for relaxation, adventure, or business, traveling in style makes a significant difference. Here’s why opting for VIP transfers Chania with Chania Taxi Transfer is the best choice:

Luxury and Comfort: Our high-end vehicles are designed for maximum comfort. You’ll enjoy a smooth, relaxing ride, no matter how long your journey is. From plush seating to climate control, your comfort is our priority.

Stress-Free Travel: Skip the stress of renting a car, navigating unfamiliar roads, or dealing with parking. With our VIP transfers Chania, you can sit back, relax, and let our experienced drivers take care of the rest.

Exclusive Experience: We cater to travelers who value a premium service, offering a level of exclusivity that ensures you travel like royalty. Whether you’re headed to a romantic dinner, a special event, or simply wish to enjoy the sights of Crete, our VIP transfers Chania service offers you an unforgettable experience.

How to Book Your VIP Transfers Chania
Booking your VIP transfer Chania is quick and easy. Simply contact us at +306977509258, and our friendly team will assist you in arranging your luxury transfer. Whether you're booking in advance or need a last-minute ride, we are happy to accommodate your schedule and ensure your needs are met.

Our Location
We are conveniently located at Kounoupidiana 731 00, Greece, allowing us to provide efficient services to Chania International Airport and other destinations in the area. From there, our VIP transfers Chania can take you anywhere you need to go in Crete, ensuring a smooth and luxurious experience.

Berkshire ITS Limited: Comprehensive IT Solutions for Your Business and Home

At Berkshire ITS Limited, located in Maidenhead, UK, we specialize in offering a wide range of IT services tailored to meet your personal or business technology needs. Whether you require computer diagnostics, expert IT consulting, managed IT services, robust cybersecurity services, or on-site IT support, our dedicated team of professionals is here to help. With years of experience in the IT industry, we ensure that your systems are always running at their best, secure, and well-supported.

Computer Diagnostics: Quickly Identifying and Fixing Issues
When your computer slows down or encounters issues, it can disrupt productivity and cause frustration. At Berkshire ITS Limited, we offer comprehensive computer diagnostics to identify the root causes of any technical problems you may be facing. Our expert technicians use advanced diagnostic tools to analyze your system, pinpoint any issues, and provide efficient solutions to get your devices back in optimal working condition. From software errors to hardware failures, we tackle all types of problems to ensure your systems run smoothly.

IT Consulting: Tailored Solutions for Your Technology Needs
Every business and individual has unique IT requirements. That’s where our IT consulting services come in. At Berkshire ITS Limited, we offer strategic guidance on how to improve your IT infrastructure, streamline operations, and make the most of your technology. Our experienced consultants work with you to understand your specific goals and challenges, recommending customized solutions that enhance efficiency, reduce costs, and improve overall system performance. Whether you need advice on upgrading your network, implementing new software, or planning long-term IT strategies, we’re here to help you navigate your options.

Managed IT Services: Hassle-Free IT Management
Managing your IT infrastructure can be time-consuming and overwhelming. Our managed IT services provide proactive support to ensure your systems are always running efficiently, securely, and without interruption. We offer end-to-end IT management, including network monitoring, software updates, data backups, and troubleshooting, all designed to prevent problems before they arise. With Berkshire ITS Limited’s managed IT services, you can focus on your core business operations while we handle all aspects of your IT management.

Cybersecurity Services: Protecting Your Digital Assets
Cybersecurity threats are a growing concern for businesses and individuals alike. At Berkshire ITS Limited, we offer comprehensive cybersecurity services designed to protect your sensitive data, systems, and networks from online threats. Our team implements cutting-edge security measures, including firewalls, encryption, antivirus protection, and regular vulnerability assessments, to safeguard your business or home network from cyberattacks. We also provide security training and awareness programs to help users recognize potential threats and avoid common pitfalls. Trust us to keep your digital assets secure with our expert cybersecurity services.

On-Site IT Support: Fast, Reliable Assistance at Your Doorstep
Sometimes, issues require a hands-on approach. With our on-site IT support, Berkshire ITS Limited ensures that you receive immediate, professional assistance at your location. Our technicians are ready to visit your home or business to resolve technical issues in person, from hardware repairs to network setup and troubleshooting. We pride ourselves on providing efficient and friendly support to get you back up and running as quickly as possible. Whether you need help with computer setup, network configuration, or solving an urgent IT issue, our team is there to offer the personalized service you need.

Why Choose Berkshire ITS Limited?
Expert Technicians: Our certified IT professionals are highly skilled in computer diagnostics, IT consulting, managed IT services, cybersecurity services, and on-site IT support.

Customized Solutions: We understand that each client has unique needs. That’s why we provide tailored IT solutions to meet your specific requirements and help you achieve your goals.

Proactive IT Management: With our managed IT services, we ensure that your systems are monitored and maintained to prevent problems before they impact your business or personal productivity.

Comprehensive Support: From routine IT maintenance to urgent support, we offer a wide range of services designed to keep your technology running smoothly and securely.

Contact Us Today

Business Address:
Vicus Wy, Maidenhead SL6 1EL, United Kingdom
Contact Number:
+44 208 050 5101