Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

What color do you want the database?

When you are a Dev but you don't want to be single

Girl: what's your profession?
Me: I am a writer
Girl: Cool! What do you write?
Me: I write code😎

Girl: Can you make me an app?
Me: What kind of app do you have in mind?
Girl: I want it to be... like an app!
Me: Sounds a bit to difficult sorry.

Client: can you fix the slider on my homepage please?
Me: It seems to be working just fine
Client: it works but it’s not how I want it, fix it
Me: well what do you want me to change then?
Client: don’t change it, just fix it!

😒

Mom : what do you want to be?
Child : engineering
Mom : why?
Child : because engineer never study.
🤥😅😂😂🤐

Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?

Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.

That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.

Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."

Are you interested in a devRant hackathon? If so, please let me know what you'd like to see us do/what you would want to get out of it. There's lots of directions we could go, but I want to get as much feedback as we can from the community to try to figure out what would be the most fun and inclusive. Thanks!

Notepad++: An update package is available, do you want to download it?

Me: Maybe next time

Notepad++: Sure, that's what they all say

Well Google.. I have been shouting null at you but you don't seem to respond. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??

Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License (WTFPL)

Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈

If you want to improve, be with people that are already better than you.

That's what I do, and so far so good.

When people want to know what you're doing and you know they wouldn't understand so you're just like 'Nothing...'

I love this label! It destroys all hopes of getting what you want from a library!

When you want to code but don't know what to code🤔

Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"

The biggest problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
Not what you want them to do.

What the helllll... Feature requests take time. You want fast you go to McDonald's.

Today's my birthday!

YAAYYYYYY

ME: Presents?
Parents: You didn't requested one.
ME: But you always bought me SOMETHING.....
Parents: What do you want?
ME: Dunno.........

(sobs)

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend: what do you want to be in future?

Me: A programmer. It sounds fun.

15 years later...

!dev

Train operator: "Dear Valued Passanger: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DOOR OR LEAVE MY TRAIN."

At least it was what he'd like to say, based on his voice :/

Intern Me: "this is what im working on"
Fellow Intern: "Hey cool, can you send me it? "
Me: "What? The code?"
Intern: "Yeah, just send it all"
Me: "You want me to send you the entirety of the 300 million line code base for a proprietary trading system?"
Intern: "Yeah"

I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge

"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.

Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.

You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬

If I was a super hero I would want to be called "ThreadPool"

What name would you pick?

What do you want?

I am literally getting chewed out over 99.998% uptime

When I say I want to work for EA, this is what I mean.

You get paid to watch and analyze athletes. Fucking awesome job.

What do you do when you buy a second hand netbook and want to play with it in your way home but the internet is veeery bad?

You play Tetris on the terminal! \o/

To my boss I want to say, "You get what you pay for."

Just got an E-Mail about a small Chrome extension I made. They want me to add a Bing search button lol. What would I get in return?
Quote:
> you could earn $0.65 per month, and we don't want you to miss out on such an opportunity

What an opportunity indeed.

November 2022

*Wife*: What do you want for x-mas? A new phone maybe? Yours has lived through a lot already - perhaps it's time for an upgrade?
*I*: Naah, thanks. My trusty S7 still works incredibly well. I also have all those 2FAs set up there and stuff I'm too lazy to transfer over to a new device.

*Parents*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

*in-laws*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

*Siblings*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

January 2023:
*My phone*:

Please do not send me fucking messages saying “hi how are you?“ and then wait for my response before asking me what you actually want.

The balls some managers must have to think that this is going to be an acceptable price.

I also find it hilarious that a $2 adblocker can fuck this in the ass.

Feeling frustrated when you cut (ctrl-x) and move to the place you want to paste then you pushed copy (ctrl-c) only to lose what you cut.

I hate these LINUX AND NOTHING ELSE fascists. Why don't you just let people use what they want? And btw: just using Linux doesn't make you a good programmer...

"I pronounce GIF like 'if'"
"LISTEN HERE, YOU BETTER START PRONOUNCING IT 'JIF' OR ELSE!!!"
"What gif I don't want to?"

Ma chéries!
What job sites do you recommend?
I want to leave this nightmare behind.

Friend: hey can you make me a website?

Me: sure, what is it for?

Friend: 'whatever the site is for'

Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?

Friend: Ummm... Idk yet

Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?

Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty

Me:

No Google translate, I don't want you to translate my Lorem Ipsum. You are misunderstanding what I'm trying to do here. Thanks anyway.

People who say “hi” and wait till you reply to tell you what they want should be strapped to a pole, covered in maple syrup and dropped into a pit of hungry ants.

Wife: When will you be home? It's 6:00pm.
Husband: When my program does what I want and exits with code 0.
Wife: I'll see you tomorrow.

Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...

🧐: “what do you want in life?”
🤤: “enough storage to backup the internet”

Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.

New client: can we go live next month?
Me: do you think you are our only client, or do you want to pay an extra priority fee?
New client: what?
Me: what?

*Crickets"

This rant goes to my best friend.

Fuck you!

You do not fucking argue with people for doing what they like! So what if I want to use linux? What fucking problem does that make? Am I now a hacker fanboy for wanting to use a terminal instead of fucking pointing and clicking on shit like a monkey? Am I not allowed to want my privacy and free open-source? What? I shouldn't browse internet without getting my personal info stolen? Oh, they're tracking criminals? Then why don't you install a camera in your fucking living room so you can help them out? And don't fucking get me started on why I don't want to use Windows 10.

Fuck fucking fuck fuck. I know he's a good friend but this fucking shit gets my blood boiling.

You can say what you want but cloud services are awesome. I can literally throw my laptop in a bag, travel to the most beautiful place in the world and work from there.

Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.

I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.

** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
C: perfect!

--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
Me: mh?
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.

-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project

** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **

Fucking Windows... If you don't have enough memory for everything youre supposed to do, then kill whatever you want, but not the fucking graphics driver.

What should I do then? Close something different? Fuckin Monkeys.

You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.

*After I have finally deployed the requested features*

Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.

Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.

Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?

Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.

Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.

Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*

Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."

Do you ever open devRant, read a little, and then exit the app to find something else to do. Then open the app immediately again, because that's what you do when you want something to do?

I hate when the pay what you want course websites does not accept $0 as input.

So you want to collect and save sensitive data from psychologists sessions and use Wordpress. What can go wrong.

PayPal.

Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.

Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.

Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.

Braintree isn't much better.

Now what, IntelliJ...? 🤨
(moral of the story: Don't install new things when you want to go to bed!)

What do you mean you no longer want the feature? We have developed the feature, we have tested the feature, we have sign off for the feature. You are getting this feature, whether you like it or not!

WanBLowS, you data hungry piece of shit! WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK MAKES YOU THINK THAT I WANT TO SIGN IN?!! Motherfuckers!!!

When you just want to reply to an email request with "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with this?"

I just started training 3 weeks ago,

I have to accomplish some knowledge during the training period or the company won't let me stay, when I told the coworker that is sitting beside me, he told me don't worry, as long as you want this job, we will help you learn everything in order to get what you want.

Commenting in code isn't to remind you what you did, its to temporarily remove features your boss doesnt want today, but will tomorrow

The moment when you see "block chain" on a client's road map, but they can't tell you what that is or what they want to use it for

Raising kids is like using Windows. You know what you want him to do, the kid knows what you want him to do,... But he still decides to do whatever HE wants.

The frustration level is the same

*Declines meeting an hour past working hours*

Manager: “any specific reason why you declined my invite?”

What I want to say: “You are a narcissistic cunt who I wish to never interact with again. Your existence in this world and the way you treat others makes me want to throw up!”

But I just pretend like I never saw their message.

Shit you can apply this to coding too.

"When you fix a bug in your code"
Red: Actually does what you want
Blue: Completely fucks your entire program up.

boss: I sent you a wsdl file.

me: I saw it. But you sent me a json for a rest api request.

boss: You want me to teach you what a wsdl is?

Just find a kind of opensource license shorted as WTFPL, which means "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"😂😂😂

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to start a new project, but have no idea what it should be.

For any complex project start simple by doing the MVP (minimum viable product) then build on it and change it until it reaches what you want in time.

Trying to install .NET Framwork 3.5 and this message comes up *headdesk*

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MICROSOFT!?

What are your feelings on committing your .gitignore file to the repo? I argue that you SHOULD commit the .gitignore file because you are much less likely to accidentally commit things you don't want.

My team lead just told me that he doesn't want the .gitignore file in the repo because it's not part of the build.

Most days I want to answer the question of “What do you do for a living?” with “I send emails”. It would sadly be a very honest answer.

Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff

God: you qualify for reincarnation. What advice from past life do you want me to retain in your memory ?
Me: never forget to write those unit tests!

Regardless of your education, your career will almost certainly start with a low-paying job that's not really what you want to do. You'll do that for a year or two, and move to a job that's a little closer to what you want. Until after 10-15 years, you'll be doing work that actually interests you.

Almost every career starts with a period of what American blues musicians call, "paying your dues."

That moment when you REALLY want to work on something new, but have no idea what to work on...

met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...

When you want to code an app, but don't even know for what.

Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)

Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

If your colleague is irritating you too much and you want to take a revenge.

Then just type chmod 777 -R /

in the terminal and press enter.

See what happens later.

When you come back to work and want to see what has been changed in repo but commit messages look like that :(

Dear boss, client :

We, the developers, have family. Respect our time by knowing what you want us to build beforehand.

Coworker: hi
Me: hi
... 3 hours later ...
C: hi
M: how can I help?
...
C: hi
M: HAVE YOU EVER USED COMMUNICATOR IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE? JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT IN FIRST MESSAGE, DONT WAIT FOR ME TO HI YOU BACK, WHAT THE HELL HOW MANY TIMES A DAY YOU NEED TO GREET ME

What if I told you : you can use whatever the fuck OS you want, whatever the fuck stack you want ?

And IF you take a job in a certain stack, don't like it ? Quit your job !

Stop beeing whining bitches. Don't like current job ? Find a new one.

You think your app is revolutionary ? TRY and push it (And fail)

You think that at 16 you know better than people who are 30+yo ? prove it by actions.

It's easy. You have full control of what you can do.

Stop bitching, start coding.

windows, linux, mac, MS-DOS. Noone cares what you use. As long as you do the job.

Computer : it does what you want without asking questions

Gf: pretty much the opposite

devRant I want you to meet Stressy the Stressball.

What did you name yours?

Damnit! Every time! Our UI Dev asks us to change the API every time he wants something different!

The API is backend -> business logic. You don't change your business according to what fucking color you want on your site!

Sad part is since he's senior I don't want to tell him off

What the Fuck do you want?:

Ahh yes what all good developers know if you want your program to be the fastest, program in CSS!

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

...

I am currently facing a client from hell. I don't even wanna write down the shits she is giving us. This lyrics are just prefect for my scenario.

"What kind of desktop and laptop do you want us to get you?"

-The best words i heard today.

Random but say what you want about Linus Torvalds in his past or now but you can't deny it is insanely enlightening to watch speak...

So i was talking to my client the other day and this is what happened....

Me: So what features do you want in the Progress Tracker in the app.

Client: (takes his IPAD out and opens the FitBit app) This is a really nice progress tracker.

Me: Alright so what features would you like in Progress Tracker, eg: would you maybe like them to check in everyday making sure that they have done exercise or something.

Client: *Shows me his goal in steps (which was 10,000 if anyone was wondering) and shows me other features of the app and not telling me what to do in his own one* These look nice.

Me: Alright so do you want a Step Tracker, Calories Tracker etc.

Client: Nooooo, I want other things.

Me: Ok lets get discussing what are these "other things"

Client: *Continues to show me the FitBit app*

Me: *facepalm*

My dad once told me "Computers are stupid because they do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do." and honestly that gets truer the more I mess with 'em.

!rant

I received a pair of complements on how well I run team meetings after an engineering all staff this morning. Received a similar comment last week.

Someone asked “what’s your secret?”

I reply “Laziness”

“What?”

“I’m lazy. I don’t like meetings most of the time. So when I run meetings, I run them so that they’re over as fast as possible”

“How do you do that?”

“By knowing what I actually want”

“What if you don’t know what you want?”

“Then there’s no meeting”

“Well what if y-“

“Hey listen I have another meeting to get to”

Why can't you just fucking tell me what type of website you want. Every week you are fucking adding/removing new features and don't want to pay for it. You know what? Fuck you! From next week Monday I' am putting your website on hold until you agree to pay for the changes we made for the past 3 weeks.

On the same note, fuck you to my General Manager who thinks he will get laid for not charging for the changes made to the website. She is just using you dumb piece of shit.

Flatmate: "What do you want for dinner?"

Me: *Looks at code*

Me: 'Spaghetti"

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

Hate Ai all you want but this is low key what a lot of us have been waiting for.

Do you want to run the script? Yes, No, Print. Wait what?
What is the intention of 'print'? Will it print the question out for me? :D

I want to create something crazy with this architecture, what do you think?

I want to learn something new and programing related. But got no idea what. Make suggestions, if you wish.

When you become or became a programmer / software engineer, what are or did you reward yourself with for your hard work and success? For me, I want a Subaru STI😁

I really want that new computer! What are you all buying for Black Friday?

We had this customer that wanted a app called "Bottle message" to use it for basically everything like ordering shoes or sending money. He thought it would be practicable to just write in the "message" what you want to do and when you want to make it happen.

What they really want to tell you.

We need more positivity:

Reason why you like coding? / Reason why you chose it as your career? / Why wouldn't you want to do something different?

Best feeling when coding

Nicest colleague/Best teamwork experience/Best boss/easiest client

What do you like about your position/job/company

Besides coding, what makes you happy

Your favorite stack/language/working environment

Have you ever installed libc++?

If you haven't then i warn you.
When libc++ installs it does a lot of tests and it takes fucking forever!
What the fuck!
What are you even testing? How long patience people have?

And sorry for not screenshoting. I dont want to accidently interupt their "testing"

FUCK YOU $CLIENT_NAME !

You tell me I've spent the last 6 months molesting and hacking your piece of garbage multistore prestashop?

Just for you to yet again, change the specifications, saying "I don't want a multistore anyway please split them up"

What an imbicile moron, you want me to duplicate the codebase/database 7 times? just to start "downgrading" each one individually? To make a few adjustments to each one.

What the fuck have you been smoking? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What

Turns out what they offered me was barely what I was making at the moment... Why bother even sending me that lame job proposal? You were supposed to want me to work there, or at least that's what you said.

What to do when you're 8 hours away from home at work and all you want to do is netflix and snuggle in bed 😞

That moment you want to shazaam a song in the bar... Then open up skype and before you recall what app you wanted to open the song just ended ://

I hate the feeling when you can't seem to figure out what the fuck you want to learn next.

After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.

Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.

This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃

Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.

What would you want in Ubuntu 20.10?

When you wanna pee but you don't want to leave what you're working on because it's cool.

Dear recruiter,

Open space is not a perk.
If someone tells you they want remote, not bit of remote or any other indication,
Why would you ask how much remote is ok?

If someone tells you "i want open space" would you ask "how much open space? Like half office?" No, you wouldn't.
But for sure, what is not acceptable when someone tells you they want remote is answering "that's a shame" if you want to get a developer a job, work, if you want to get cash because of a developer then do that.

How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:

'Please read and sign this CLA'

( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )

dont you just hate it when u want to hire devs but they ask for too much money so you decide to hire interns with experience ?

i became what i always despised

Gifts from company
Why are you sending me something which I don't want? Isn't the concept of gifting is to give something which the receiver can utilize. Just send me the bonus and let me decide what I want for myself. I don't want expensive chocolates and cookies with unconventional jars. I want a nice a pair of headphones or maybe a smartwatch. The price is the same as what you are sending me, so please stop this.

......why life.... why... what do you want from me... when i do the right thing, you punish me... when i do the wrong thing, you punish me... what do you want from me.... i cant believe this just happened to me...

Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.

Me: OK, what do you need?

Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.

Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?

Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?

Me: D':

!rant

le moment when the program finally does what you want. After hours and hours fixing things in a myriad of stacks ands frameworks...

YEEEESSSSS

Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):

Friend: i want to learn c#

Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you

F: yeah but i want to do unity

M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you

F: what language is unreal engine?

M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity

F: yeah I want to make an android app

M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you

F: yeah I've used that before

M: oh really? What does it do?

F: I don't know

M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance

F: yeah I've used that

M: what does gpgpu stand for?

F: umm… i know what gpu stands for

M: okay dude, you didn't use it

F: yes I did, I made a cypher

M: dude, you didn't use it

F: yes I did!

M: what does gpgpu stand for?

F: *left*

*five minutes later*

M: *checks phone*

M: *sees text from friend*

Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu

That moment when you realize that writing “that moment when...” is because you’re too passive and insecure to just say what you really want to say...

He: Is there a list of what you want to do next?
Me: To be drowned
Me: Hang yourself
Me: Oh, or are you talking about the project?

*Filling out unit test plan for tester which is an Excel Document*
*Excel keeps trying to correct capitalization on a word that I want capitalized over and over*

LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I didn't want to capitalize that word I wouldn't have capitalized it! Just do what I tell you to do! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SOFTWARE! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

I really want to build a raspberry pi cluster but I don't know what to do with it...
Has anyone of you ever built a raspi cluster?
What could I do with it?

What do you do when you don't feel like doing anything?

Suddenly can't think of anything I want to do... But can't sleep either...

Website idea:

If you can leave one sentence to the world, what would it be.

I want to build a website where people post those sentences.

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

Fuck you BBC, I just want toblosten to fucking radio and you tell me that I "need" to sign in.

I do not want you to tell me what to losten to. I do not want "relevant" content, just want to listen to 30 mins of news.

Then you say it is easy to signup, but then ask for my exact date of birth as the first question wtf ...

If a developer has to ask what a ticket actually asks for and the answer includes the words "The idea was...", you don't know what you want and it isn't ready for development.

y'know it's nice to know that no matter what happens, some things in life never change. even if you want them to.

like no matter who you are, or what you're doing, SELinux will always be there to ruin your life....

Customers don't know what they want... How do you handle them?

what do you want to do in 5 years?

Say what you want about Microsoft, but I'm working on a WPF app right now and they write some damn good documentation

Damn clients, they'll never tell you what they want.
And when you give them something, they'll point out useless "problems".
Either do it yourself, or give exact specifications

Say what you want about imposter syndrome - I just realized why I'm cut out for this line of work.

My intelligence is artificial.

What browsers do you guys use? After allthe controversy with firefox lately, I want to switch to something else.

When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.

What are you guys doing against brute force attacks on your login webpages? I don't want anybody to access my porn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But I don't want to block the useraccount because that would be annoying because you could simple lock a user out of his account :/ any suggestions? What are you doing on your sites?

More time I spent into DevRant more I want a blue rubber duck. Why???? What did you do to me?

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is? In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

Say what you want, it’s good he’s gone.

Ok, so let's say someone walks into your office and it's after-hours and you have decided to have a go at yourself because you work too much and need to de-stress. My question is, do you quickly stop and ask them what they want, hoping they didn't see what you were doing, or do you just finish?

For higher grade software development it should be mandatory to understand the big picture of problems...

If you are working for a online shop, you might want to ask marketing, what they want to sell, before they do it

You might want to ask billing, what customers buy, before you spend time on unnecessary features

You want to ask billing and legals, how they do fraud detection and you want to get the it security fellows on board too.

If marketing and billing knows, that maintenance needs time and money, they can calculate with that. If security knows, that some fails will be catched, no matter if you fix it in software or not they can adapt their priorities.

You might want to know something about process optimisation... Factories of car parts have spent years on such problems - learn from them.

I got a question at an interview today asking what type of developer do you want to be and what's your long term technical goal. Right now I'm a senior software engineer at a pretty well known solid mid sized tech company. I work across the stack but I really don't know what type of developer I want to be.

Which way technically are you directing your engineering career? How and why did you decide this is the type of work you want to do?

Working with government contracts...

Them: We want an agile environment!
What they mean: Waterfall with bits and pieces of agile.

Them: We want to modernize our code!
What they mean: Oh, that is open source code from Russia or a country we don't like? No, even though it is a norm and a very powerful tool, we can't have communism here.

Them: We have a new task order for you.
What they mean: We won't approve you the money till you have a month left of the task order.

I want to dual boot my win10 PC with Linux, but I can't decide if I want Debian 8 or Ubuntu. What do you guys think?

blah getting drunk again blah blah

What do you want me to say 😉

BA: "Can you design a page for this?"
me (not a designer): "Um, sure, no problem."

Fast forward two days, show the page for approval.

PM: "Hey, can we do it as a pop-up instead?"

:|

Question to all the Devs out there.....

What do you prefer???
A. Strict timing in the office (e.g. 9-6)
B. Deadline focused work any hours you want and beat the deadline.

Junior front end developer.

Interest in saas, js and jQuery,
1 year html5 and JavaScript, knowledge of image authoring (Photoshop)

Job is wordpress customisation.

18k... Degree in media required.

So you want a graphic designer for junior developer wage.. lol.

the closer i get to the ending

the higher the resistance

the harder i fight the battle to win

the harder life tries to prevent me from winning

just when we were about to finish

just in that moment life did its best to not make it happen

why

what do you want from me

i am just a human being

what wrong have i done in trying to help mankind

what is happening

why is this happening

what... do you want..... from me.......

I want to build a home automation bot but I don't know what kind of features to give it. I have hue lights and I want a smart speaker/google home mini. Do you guys have ideas? I'm open for everything.

Do you agree with me that once you understand and mastered one programming language, when you want to learn other languages or library is very easy. At least you know what to Google search.

WHY FOR FUCKINGS SAKE DO I HAVE TO ACCEPT YOU SENDING ME BULLSHIT MARKETING MATERIAL WHEN I JUST WANT TO DOWNLOAD THAT SHIT EBOOK????

I see what you did here ngnix...

Greetings, fellow JS devs
What change do you want on the next breaking version of JS?
I would say use square bracket instead of curly bracket for object.
What do you think?

wtf boss,? what do you want? say it loud and clear!

"Users will tell you what they think they want.
Users will tell you what they think you want to hear.
Users will tell you what they think sounds good.
Users will not tell you what you need to know.
You have to watch them to discover that." - Adam Judge

Friend: "Heyyy, I want a custom IT solution. Can you make it for me?"

Me: "Okay sure."

Friend: "Heyyy I don't want the program to do it for me, I want to learn it myself."

Me: "What the fuck.. sigh."

I ended up giving them some third-party boilerplate solution and now they're happy. Peasants..

Say what you want about Hitler, but Hitler killed Hitler.

My pet peeve is IMs that start wtth hi or GM. Please people. Can you write what you want from me. Why don't you ask about how my dog is doing as well?

Sometimes in life it's not what you see, not what you want b...[read more]

iOS notifications stopped working... Certs are good, nothing wss changed regarding notifications, everything works fine on the android side... What do you want from me apple???!!

Sr Engineers that want other to just do what they say with no context or explanation

You are probably right but just explain why!

Why the fuck would you want to use a .tt on a web.config file?!

What about they keys you don't want to be mandatory? And you want to set some defaults for them if they're not present in the web.config file?!

I mean WTF?! Am I missing something here?!

Or is it really just that you wanted to be cool and have a file that writes some more code in another file in your project?!

Fuck!!

You seek persistence, stability or want to know what you'll be doing 20 years from now.
You like variety
You want to socialize

“I want to be the next bill gates!”

“Is this the reason why you are divorced “

“What?”

Fuck you. Wait, tell me what the fuck you want and then fuck you.

if you want to be part of a startup, don't expect to do only what is in your job description.

Sitting and making mobile phones do what i want. When i tell them what i really do they just say:"I don't any word you say, but i think it's good!" 🤔

People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.

I want you to make that dream become a reality, because if you don't, you will be working for somebody else to make their dreams become a reality.

Listen to me, if it was easy, everybody would do it. There are people right now who are working who don't want to work. There are people who hate their jobs, but they keep getting up to do it.

I'm here to tell you, number one, that most of you say you wanna be successful but you don't want it bad, you just kinda want it. You don't want it badder than you wanna party. You don't want it as much as you wanna be cool.

So what I'm telling you is, when you want something bad you can't count the cost. Because if you count the cost and you see how much it costs. You might quit, you might give up. So you gotta go in knowing that I don't count the cost.

You just do whatever it takes, to get whatever you want! Boom! 👊 😎 👍

What are some things, as a dev or whatever you want a classify yourself as, use to get rid of stress?

What exactly do you want me to do about the fact the end user can't navigate the camera roll?

I really want to learn Go, but I'm not sure where to start! devRanters who are also Gophers, what tools/resources do you recommend for a beginner?

I just can't wait for Ai, the day will be so beautifully ecstasy filled.

Just sit there, talking, saying what you want, no bugs.

oh my

What fonts do you use?
I've always used the editor default font, but now I want something that looks nicer...

Performance review
What do you want to achieve in the next 12 months and the company will try to help you achieve that?
You are already helping, I am looking at getting popular on devrant.

If you could build anything you want, what would it be and why?

(If this was a weekly question and you know the week number off the top of your head, let me know and I just go look there lol.)

I'm just interested to see what people here would build.