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Search - "cheating"
Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"
...pulls out the network cable on his machine...
"okay you can start now"
If Programming Languages Were Girls:
Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.
Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.
Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.
Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).50
classmate: Hey, "friend" told me you do freelance website development. right? I need to create a new website and need your help.
Me: umm... OK... what's it about?
Classmate: It's for my dad's friend's business.
Me: OK. but I will charge the standard rate.
classmate: No... I will make it myself. I just want your help.
Me(Internally): ...not again...
Me: Do it yourself then.
Classmate: It will be quick. an hour or two max.
Classmate: And one of my uncle who did IT told me that c++ is faster. can we use that instead of HTML?
classmate: you don't know shit.
... classmate walks away...
This guy somehow manages to get As in exams (mostly cheating. and our papers are shitty theory papers which you can mug up. so that helps) and in a year will have an IT degree.56
I feel like a fucking abomination at the moment.
I have been working on an app that is almost like Wireshark. More so for practice than anything else.
I decided that today I would try it out on the network here at my house, so I started the packet sniffer and wanted to see what was going on. I was checking for unencypted text (like telnet and whatnot) and came across this odd address that I hadn't seen before.
I did something that I shouldn't have done, and I fucking clicked and did the equivalent of "follow TCP stream" on wireshark. I fucking went and looked what the text being sent over this fucking network was.
It was my girlfriend, using fuck knows what messenger, but it was unencrypted. I just found out that she is cheating on me. I don't want to go into what the texts exactly say, because it fucking hurts me deep down.
Why didn't she just use whatsapp or something, fuck man. I really don't need this in life at the moment. I am genuinely trying to get my shit in order, I have been coding my ass off at night for extra money to make it, I have been working overtime where I can - fuck I have even tried sucking up to management (I would never do this under normal circumstances) - and to top this off, the motherfucking tax man is giving me hell.
If you want to cheat, fucking do it properly. Because I am in a state of pure sadness and hatred and the moment - and I don't know what the fuck to do.25
Girl I haven't talked to since middle-school : Wow Nelson, I read on Facebook that you became a developer! Congrats!
Me : Thanks but I'm still a inter-
Her : Can you hack my boyfriend's facebook? I think he's cheating on me...
Should I really explain why I'm sick of this shit?18
Just a little bit of venting from me (written in GT for speed):
>apply for a programming job at a local company
>interviewer says that he's impressed with my resume and says that he'll call me
>one week later
>"hey anon, drop by our office, you're hired!"
>hot diggity damn!
>papers say that it's a help desk job
>"oh don't worry about it, it's just that we don't have a programming sector yet"
>wtf the job offer was for programmers but w/e a job is a job is a job
>start working there. Really mineal shit like fixing entries on SQL, resetting modems, etc.
>decide to write a couple of scripts for more mechanical tasks such as gathering .xml for the accountant
>everything is peaches and gravy
>one day the boss calls me into his office
>"hey anon, you're fired!"
>ask him why
>tells me my coworkers ratted me out on the scripts, says that I'm cheating on the job
>try to explain myself to him but he won't listen
>get fired after 4 months of being the most productive member of the team
That serves me right for trying to be good at my shitty ass job. Oh well.15
I'm 20, and I consider myself to be as junior as they come. I only started programming seriously in June 2016,and since then, I've been doing mainly Android Work, and making my own servers and backends(using AWS/Firebase nd stuff).
For the first time in life, I was approached by a recruiter for a company on linkedIn. They "stumbled upon" my Github profile and wanted to see if I was interested in an internship opportunity. This company is an early stage start up, by that I mean a dude with an idea calling himself the CEO and a guy who "runs a tech blog" and only knows college level C programming (explaination follows).
So they want me to make the app for their startup. and for that, I ws first asked to solve a couple problems to prove my competence and a "technical interview" followed.
They gave me 3 questions, all textbook, GCD of 2 numbers, binary search and Adding an element to the linked List, code to be written on a piece of paper. As the position was that of an Android Developer, I assumed that Java should be the language of choice. Assumed because when I asked, the 'tech blogger' said, yeah whatever.
But wait, that ain't all, as soon as I was done, Mr. Blogger threw a fit, saying I shouldn't assume and that I must write it in C. I kept my cool (I'm not the most patient person), and wrote the whole thing in C.
He read it, and asked me what I've written and then told me how wrong I was to write 2 extra lines instead of recursion for GCD. I explained that with numbers large enough, we run the risk of getting a stackoverflow and it's best to apply non recursive solution if possible. He just heard stackoverflow and accused me of cheating. I should have left right then, but I don't know why, I apologized and again, in detail explained what was happening to this fucktard. Once this was done, He asked me how, if I had to, I'd use this exact code in my Android App. I told him that Id rather write this in Java/Kotlin since those are the languages native to Android apps. I also said that I'd export these as a Library and use JNI for the task. (I don't actually know how, I figured I can study if I have to).
Here's his reply, "WTF! We don't want to make the app in Java, we will use C (Yeh, not C++, C). and Don't use these fancy TOOLS like JNI or Kotlin in front of me, make a proper application."
By this I was clear that this guy is not fit to be technical lead and that I should leave. I said, "Sir, I don't know how, if even possible, can we make an Android App purely in C. I am sorry, but this job is not for me".
I got up and was about to leave the room, when we said, "Yeah okay, I was just testing you".
Yeah right, the guy's face looked like a howling monkey when I said Library for C, and It has been easier for me to explain code to my 10 year old cousin that this dumbfuck.
He then proceeded to ask me about my availability, and I said that I can at max to 15-20 hours a week since my college schedule is pretty tight. I asked me to get him a prototype in 2 months and also offered me a full time job after I graduate. (That'd be 2 years from now). I said thank you for the offer, but I am still not sure of I am the right person for this job.
He then said, "Oh you will be when I tell you your monthly stipend."
I stopped for a second, because, money.
And then he proceeded to say 2 words which made me walk out without saying a single word.
I live in India, 1000 INR translates to roughly $15. I made 25 times that by doing nothing more than add a web view to an activity and render a company's responsive website in it so it looks like an app.
If this wasn't enough, the recruiter later had the audacity to blame me for it and tell me how lucky I am to even get an offer "so good".
Fuck inexperienced assholes trying shit they don't understand and thinking that the other guy is shitsworth.10
I love it when lying, cheating, bitching dinosaurs act like they're all powerful and on God mode just because they can click buttons in a mobile app and do whatever the fuck they want. You know the system logs your shit, do you? I guess not.
I booked a car using a mobile app that I've been using for years. They absorbed their competition so currently, they are the only car booking app here. When I saw that my driver arrived at the pick-up location, I looked around and found that he wasn't there so I asked him where he is. He did not respond so I walked around the pick-up location and said, "I'm right outside <insert building name here>."
To my surprise, the mobile app said he has already picked me up. I kept messaging him asking what happened and why he picked me up in the app when I'm still waiting for him in the location. No response. I called him thinking it was just a misunderstanding and politely asked what happened. He was angry and said, "Why weren't you in the pick-up location?" I said I was there and couldn't find him. Thinking there must have been a mistake, I asked "Can you cancel my booking? I can't cancel from my side because it says I'm already in your car." He yelled, "Well, I can't do anything about that. I picked you up anyway and if I cancel now, it would reflect badly on my record."
I dropped the call. Now I'm stuck in my location because I can't use the app to book another car until this motherfucker "drops me off" when I wasn't even in his car to be dropped off anyway. I'm late for my appointment and had to chase down some taxis when most of them are occupied due to the rush hour. A few minutes later, I received a notification that I was "dropped off" and my credit was charged for the "trip".
I was furious and I swear to fucking Satan, I'm gonna destroy this man's career. This guy is on a power trip. First, his car just zoomed by the pick-up location. He did not consume the given 3 minutes wait, not like he would consume it anyway since I was fucking there waiting for him. I hate it when people are late so I also avoid making people wait. Second, he didn't have to pick me up at all. He could have just cancelled or let me cancel. And finally, he gave me that fucking attitude when I called him like IT JUST MADE SENSE that he picked me up anyway. Now I'm hassled and he gets paid for it.
What he said kept ringing in my ear:
"I don't want to get a bad record."
"I don't want to get a bad record."
"I don't want to get a bad record."
So I emailed the company and told them what happened. I explicitly said that not only do I want a refund, something has to be done with this driver given the details above. How's that for not having a bad record? I swear, the fucking rotting old corpses in this country act like they own the place just because they existed before Jesus was born. And these motherfucking drivers, the chariots from hell, they just abuse their passengers like they're some almighty god who can do as they wish because well, you don't have much "choice", do you? I have the choice to hand your ass back to you, sir.
This is why you're all fucking poor. You get a small taste of presumed "power", you act like little shits. This is why I have no sympathy for the poor in this fucking place. You're all lazy fucks who hassle everyone just because you feel entitled to do it. Because everything is unfair, right? You're not given opportunities, right? And yet given an opportunity, you do this kind of shit and assume everyone else is too dumb to prove what you did because you went clickity-clickity-click on an app you think you know everything about.
Fuck you. Fuck you. May god have mercy on you and I hope my rage blows over soon enough before I do some crazy shit as to stalk your next fucking location and keep spamming you with bad reports using different accounts until you lose the fucking job that you don't even care for. It's not that hard for a raging lunatic like me. God damn, I hate liars and cheaters. An eye for an eye, motherfucker.
"Now you're acting the same way and all powerful just because you can report them."
"It's ironic how you--"
Yeah, yeah, nice observation, genius. Stop spreading your mediocre "findings" on someone else's rant. It doesn't make you look smart, it makes you look desperate.
"Oh yeah, oh yeah? Well, stop spreading your mediocre rants in this plat--"
Shut the fuck up, oh my gggggggggggggggoddd. Just let me fucking rant.9
Rewriting my resume to pass the algorithm for a job IDENTICAL to mine in responsibilty, but with fewer hours and more pay...
Due by Thursday. Wish me luck8
I feel darn good today! I caught some A-holes cheating the system on Stack Overflow.
So basically a question was asked with no code examples present and not a single reference to any framework being used.
I'm commenting something like 'Show us your code so we can have a look'.
After 2 minutes, out of the blue, an answer appears. AND WOW! This guy had a Magical 8 Ball™!
He could predict the framework AND had a very specific fix. Just a one-liner! Go figure!
So I'm like thinking.. What the fuck just happened? Did I miss something? «Going over the question two more times»
All of the sudden, up-votes start popping up all over the place. The question was marked 3 times, the answer was marked an up-voted multiple times, and THEN it hit me (I'm kind of slow).
I checked both user profiles and instead of the usual 'air of mystery', these guys were actually dumb enough to include their company name.
AssertEquals == true.
So in the comment section, I raise my concerns on the legitimacy of the question as clearly this was 'telephoned' as we say it in Dutch, meaning as much as 'rehearsed' in this context.
But as if that was not enough, this another guy comes in and COPY/PASTED(!) the answer of guy #1. Again. Up-votes. EVERYWhere.
So I start going over some of the questions and answers of The Three Musketeers or TTM, as I'll refer them as of now.
TTM had posted over 15 questions combined, mostly crap and incomplete no-code questions. And they had answered most of their own questions.
Sometimes another guy's answer was accepted with zero up-votes as a smoke screen while the real winner was one of their own.
I marked ALL of these questions for moderation, left for lunch, and came back to see how far my blast radius reached.
Turns out, pretty damn far! Although their accounts have not been deleted, TTM have lost most of their reputation points.
They will remain on my watchlist for a couple of months. I know that is quite childish of me, but I just call it my 'guilty pleasure'! ;D
And besides, what else is there to do, instead of browsing DevRant?13
Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...
1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....
To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.
I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...50
How I play mobile games:
-Try to hack it to get infinite $$$, God mode
--Yes: play til bored or "finished" (they never finish)
Is this efficiency optimization, maximizing utility, or cheating?17
The school I went to...
*GTA and minecraft to let student familiarize with cheating command and console
*Student should find and read the damn documentation him/herself about items, mobs and quests in every game. Be self motivated!
*Contribute to community for myth hunting, map creation and glitch
*Solve personal networking, graphics problem and understanding hardware limitation.
*Solving game compability problem after Windows update
*Introduction to cracking and hacking
*Motivation to host a game server
*Custom server scripting => start To really code the first time, Perl, python, etc
*Introduction to Linux server and Debian
*From DDoS to server security
*Server maintenance and GitHub
*Game Server web development
*Motivation into non-gaming discipline by a random YouTube geek
*Set up mincraft with raspberry pi and Arduino
*Switch to Linux or Mac and just dual boot for gaming
Prepared for the real world.
Congratz for the graduation in the Pre-school of Developers (11-14 yrs old) :)5
The ultimate "I am vegan" guy will be arch linux user, vegan, trans, crossfitter and cryptocurrency investor. I've just met guy like this in my job. He did not shut up for a while. I am not sure whats he doing and whats his job but my guess is that hes paid for spreading cancer, sucidal toughts and eatig your will to live and talk with people...
R - retard
M - me
R: Hey CopyPasteCode I found this bug, it does 'this' insted of 'this'. *spreads arms to see his "muscles"*
M: *headphones off* Ok, I will look into it... *headphones back on*
R: Btw you invested something in the crypto, didnt you? Ive invested... ...bitcoin... ...crypto... ...litecoin..., do you think that... ...something... ...bla bla bla?
M: *tries not to kill myself after his 5 minutes of monolog* Ye sure
R: By the way Ive found this awesome vegan restaurant that accepts litecoin, would you like to come sometime?
M: *10 minutes monolog about vegan food and shit. At this point I want to die* Ok, I will now work on that back, see you later.
R: ye sure bro (wtf, "bro"?)... *looks like hes walking away* *teleports on my otger side touching my monitor*
WOW you are also a Limux user? 😮 Ivr installed arch linux this weekand and its so awesome, *another 6 minutes of monolog*
M: *smiling and preparing to kill him or myself* Nice, awesome *fake smile*
R: Anyway, I gotta go (FINALLY!!!), btw, I am going to the *name of local trans and gay club*, wanna go with me?
M: *after a month after a breakup with my GF (because she was cheating on me) which everyone in the office knew...)* Not really *trying to thing how to say "fuck off" without having meeting with HR*, I cant, I already have somethimg.
R: Oh, ok. Btw, you are rly cool bro (again), we should hang. We should hangout more often...
I hope someone is paying me for loosing 27 minutes with this guy.14
When my partner in a project has a sudden change of heart and confesses to the the professor that he cheated and we both get a negative mark(-8 marks) even though i didn't know or participate in cheating 😡5
A store in Russia was robbed for 30k$ using ArtMoney.
ArtMoney is a Game cheating program that is used in games that have no AntiCheat system or it is insanely horrible(Cookie clicker as an example for a game that had no anticheat and ArtMoney is used in it)
The robbers placed orders for tech(like phones and laptops) and then used the program to change the prices from thousands of dollars down to 5$.
The cheat program is insanely easy to defend against or detect its changes.
This is a good reminder to check your security if youre adminstating things like online shops or other stuff thag can be targeted at a similar fashion.4
My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.
So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.
For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.
They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).
But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.
So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.
Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.
**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**2
When the university finds out you're a pentester:
Usual underclassmen: Can you hack my bf/gf? I think they're cheating on me.
Delusional underclassmen who think they know everything: I can hack too! Who's your master? I learned how from master jimmy *runs a batch script that has "tree" on loop. See? What batch script do YOU have?"
The IT teachers: can you show us how a payload works?4
Let's play a game called guess the devRanter. If you get this from a notification, then you're cheating. I'll say one word and you have to guess who I am before you open the rant.
Life is hard.
You are born. DNA gets determined. You go through infancy.
Puberty comes and DNA is like
"uh from now you'll pretty much have strong sexual urges, a huge desire to be sexually prolific, nothing weird like being pedo or into rape though".
me: Uh ok.
dna: oh, also, you're gonna be one of those late bloomers, you know, you talk like shit, you dress like shit, you smell like shit.
life: that's true and also you don't have anyone in your life to teach you about that shit, so forget about kissing, having sex, let alone being in a relationship for a long time.
*a lot of years go by with a lot of missed opportunities, mistakes and regrets*
life: ok, you seem to have become a decent sex partner out of a lot of scarring experiences, but there's one problem: you've fallen in love with somebody.
and you're married
and you have kids
me: well, does that mean I can't fuck other people?
life: yeah, no. I'm surprised I even have to explain that, it's called cheating. It will pretty much ruin your marriage, and fuck up your kids.
me: ok, I guess no then. I'm still fortunate enough to have sex with my wife right?
life: yeah... but you still want to fuck other people
life: yeah, did you think that falling in love would make you not want to fuck other people? fuck no
me: ok, well I'm very grateful that I get to experience sex at all.
life: yes... there's a thing though, your partner has a much much lower libido than you.
me: ok, well maybe if I exercise and dress better that might change
life: that will definitely help, you'll feel more confident and have more stamina, but every time you retry exercising, you remember how much you hate it and how little stamina you have.
oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you had kids and work, yeah no time or energy for that.
me: ok, then should I just embrace a more liberal lifestyle, like becoming a swinger?
life: ha, fat chance, it's a very taboo thing and you're not that liberal, neither is she.
me: uhhh, i guess i can sometimes watch porn then...
life: watching porn regularly will make the only sex that you have worse, according to statistics.
me: ok, I guess I should get ripped19
Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.14
Girl: What major are you studying?
Me: Computer Science.
Girl: Cool. Can you hack my boyfriend's Facebook, I think he's cheating on me.
Me: Go to hell. 😡4
TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!
And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.5
My neural networks journey so far:
Look up tutorials -> see that Python is a popular tool for ML -> install Python -> pip install scipy -> breaks with some weird error involving BLAS library code -> spend half an hour fixing it -> try installing Theano -> breaks because my USERNAME HAS A SPACE IN IT LIKE SERIOUSLY? WTF -> make new account without a space in the name -> repeat till Theano -> run tests, found out that I didn't install CUDA support -> scrap the install and redo with CUDA support -> CUDA libraries take forever to download on shitty internet -> run tests -> breaks with some weird Theano compiler error -> go crying to friend -> friend tells me about Anaconda -> scrap the previous install and download Anaconda over shitty connection -> mess up conda environments because noobishness -> scrap, retry -> YESS I FINALLY GOT IT WORKING TIME TO DO SOME LEARNI-crap it's 4 in the morning already.
I realize that I'm a Python noob (and also, uni computers with GPUs have preconfigured Windows installed only, no Linux), but is installing Python libraries always such a pain? Am I doing something wrong? Installing via Anaconda felt like cheating, tbh.6
Playing Minecraft minigames.
It's a pictionary clone. One player draws a secret word while the other players have a minute to guess.
Along the bottom is a hint.
Hint is in "_ _ _ l e" format.
Possible word is apple, for example.
I already win half of the games.
I can win more.
Python script that accepts input in same format as hint and returns a list of results based on the word database.
Any time I come across a new word just add it to the database.
Stopped at 69 words tonight.
This happened with one of our senior profs during the first year of my college. I wouldn't call him a dev if my life depended on calling him a dev but regardless, I narrate the story here.
We were "taught" C++ by some really dumb professors during our first year of college and it was mandatory that everyone cleared the subject regardless of what field of engineering the students chose. Having already done 2 years of C++, it was quite a breeze for me. But during the final lab exam, one of my friends requested my help in solving the quite tough question (for those beginners). Thinking the exam and teaching was unfair, I stupidly wrote the answer on a piece of paper and passed it to him. One of our teachers, who had seen him ask me, was lying low waiting to catch me in the act and she swooped in and busted our asses kicking us out of the exam hall and sending us to the HoDs office like some prize from her war against academic corruption.
In the end, I failed the exam for cheating and had to redo (not only the exam but the entire lab course).
When I returned to college during the summer vacations to redo the course, I first met the antagonist of our story. Having a huge head that looked like a deformed watermelon and an ego the size of a building, he assaulted us first with a verbal diarrhoea of his achievements as a CS professor. I quickly realised that I was in a class of people who had failed to grasp how to make a program that printed "Hello World". To make things shorter, every question the prof gave us, I managed to solve in a mere matter of minutes, several better than his own solutions. Not having expected a student who knew his shit, he was determined to play me down. He hurled tougher question at me and I knocked them over his enormous head piercing his ego. He asked me such questions as how to reverse 1000 and get 0001 and wasn't satisfied with the several ways I gave because none of it were what he had in mind (which turned out to be storing them in a fucking array and printing them in reverse. That's printing not reversing you dung beetle). I kept my calm throughout but on the day of the final exam, he set quite a tough paper for a class of people who had already failed once. To his utter shock and dismay, I aced that too and I produced flawless code. This man who has an MTech from one of the most reputed colleges of my country then proceeded to tell me that he had to cut my marks because I had used more than one function when the question had asked for one function ( it never said only one). I lost my shit and pointed out that since I was the programmer, it was my wish how I coded. I also explained to him how repeating code is a bad practice and one should use functions to reduce redundancy and keep the code clean. Nevertheless, he lost his shit and he threatened me with consequences as apparently "I didn't know who I was messing with". I handed over the paper and stormed out of the class (though he called me back and tried to argue more with me. I apologized for losing my shit and left when he was done talking). I ended up getting a 'C'. Totally worth it.4
This is just one I had with my cousin who came for a visit.
Cousin: Yo bro, I want you to hack my girlfriend's Facebook?
Me: Lol, and why is that?
Cousin: I think she's cheating on me with this guy. I've seen her replying to him on fb messenger.
Me: Lol, ask her about it then if that's what you think.
Cousin: She won't talk bro. That's why I want you to hack her Facebook or even her phone so I can see who she's talking to.
Me: I can't bro.
Cousin: So you're not going to help me?
Me: Not that bro. I can't hack Facebook. I don't know how to do that stuff.
Cousin: But you have Bachelor's in CS and I've seen you writing those stuff on your computer....uhm, the code thing.
Me: Yeah, but those were school and personal programming projects. Not hacking stuff.. they're not the same.
Cousin: Oh man, what about her phone?
Me: Nope, can't do that either.
Cousin: But I've seen you hacking your Android phone... (*He saw me root my phone*)
Me: *face palm*3
A friend saw me on stack overflow and said 'wow, 4,000 points - you must do this all day.' I explained that I just do it to reinforce my understanding and not really for points(although those are useful for bounties). I showed them an account with 22k and tried to show how one might choose questions for maximum points vs quick solves for noobs etc. I write overly thorough answers to try and pin-point the blind spot as opposed to just fixing other people's code. It's not often rewarded by points. My friend - conspiracist - was convinced that the 20+k accounts were cheating the system.
At my old work we had a stack overflow account just for asking embarrassing questions that you didn't want on the company record. Silly, I know. Occasionally some of the guys would use it to have fake arguments or just cause trouble for fun / vote each other's stuff up.
So - I reached into 1Password and signed into that account and showed him that you could essentially vote up your answers but that it's not likely how people get points. I voted up my last 5 personal answers as an example and made some comment like 'that is right.' And that was that. Closed the computer. The next day my account was suspended and I was reprimanded for sockpuppeting. So, - in case you think you can get away with cheap tricks - you can't, which is nice to know - but after reading the email - my face was red for hours. How embarrassing! Not quite as bad as that time I got caught stealing a G.I. Joe action figure at the mall...2
Yesterday, when I was discussing my project with my Java professor, he told me to build an online quiz system in which the user can't view anything other than the quiz (to prevent cheating).
I tried telling him it's not easy and it definitely can't be just made into a website.
He told me to make it using APIs.
Now I'm wondering if he even knows that an API is...10
The downside of cheating is it removes the stopping point since there are no barriers.
The upside is you realize how badly these developers want your money and the amount of time it would take to finish the game if you weren't cheating... And you'd probably rage quit first... which I can't do until I realize how much time I've wasted.
That usually happens when I finally the game or am greeted with an Under Construction screen...
It now takes a total of 20+ stars to build each object but they split it up so I imagine if you were really playing each time you'd go: what?!!!! Wtf....7
>be me, a student taking Discrete Math and probability
>Professor really loves hearthstone, gives out a problem set that is hearthstone themed
>Somebody posts the problem on the hearthstone subreddit
>A few commenters wrote down their answers
>A week later
>9 people get caught cheating.
>Turns out the commenters did the problem wrong. Professor took screenshots of the comments and told the graders to check if the submitted homework matched the picture3
Fresh internship story (Part 3)
Turns out my coworker with a mental disorder(adhs and idk what you call it. He is 24 years old, but is mentally between 16 and 18) is gay.
ATTENTION: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER SINCE THIS IS GOING TO GET DISGUSTING!
My cheap coworker's name is Justin btw. I felt a weird atmosphere when I joined the team. Justin seemed to be a hetero guy. (I am generally assuming that every guy and girl I met is hetero). But he had his slightly "gay moves".
Yesterday, I was curious about it and asked him about why he was afraid about the police to identify him on a video to start the conversation. He told me that his ex did cheat on him. Since I assumed that he was hetero I asked if the girl was cheating on him. He got embarrassed.
him:"I uhmm... am... not hetero. I am...*stops talking*"
me:"What? Are you bi? Are you gay? What are you?"
him:"I am gay."
me:"Oh... *tries to hide the shock* I see.*silence for a minute*"
me:"What is the name of your ex?"
Justin:"Fabian. Fabian had a video and pictures of me and he put them online and did spread them with everyone. After that I got punched by some dudes. Now I want to take my revenge."
me:"... well... now that makes sense.*silence*"
I felt sorry for him and decided to keep listening. I made a wrong decision there.
2 hours later he told me how he got gay, because I wanted to know if he was born gay or if he became gay.
He told me his whole life was full of sex.
He found a sextape of his parents and jerked off to it without cuming since he did not even hit puberty yet. Then he had sex with a 6 year old girl and then with a 12 year old girl when he was 8 or something in both cases.
Later he got into a place full of guys.
He first started jerking off to hetero porn among the dudes. I wonder how he got no shame while doing it. Anyways, after that he began to feel something for boys and less for girls since boys were able to understand him more than girls. Then he became gay and his sex life with boys started.
It was very disgusting, but I wanted to know it.
*he keeps talking about how Fabian fucked him outside in the bushes and I keep ignoring him*9
Dev1 : hey dude, I am not able to get the slider right like the one in the IMG they've created on WordPress, we need to show this to the client today. Can you help?
Dev2 (short for devil) :
*Opens up expected screen slider IMG*
*Ctrl + Alt + Printscrn*
*opens Paint ---> crop --> save*
*Inside html, <img src="*above url">*
Done buddy, you owe me one.
"Why would you make your own when you can just get one for like $30 online?"
One of the single most disheartening things I've heard from a peer.
Seriously, are you really so incompetent and dependent upon other people's work that you can't even come up with a single reason why I would do this?! Don't you dare try to call yourself an engineer. Call yourself a cheat, cause that's the only way you passed that class.
Even after explaining that making it yourself is one of the best ways to learn about/understand it, they still couldn't understand.3
Fucking cant solve productivity problem. Since I was working as programmer, about 8-9 years experience, constant complaints about my productivity and some jobs even fired me for this. Only one job did not complain and I worked in it longest time but still I was worrying very often about my productivity. It is fucking annoying. Why others are productive and I am not. How the fuck to find biggest bottlenecks to know which to work on.
I know I am not knowing technology perfectly, and from time to time I get stuck and so I ask other people help, or somehow manage to find solution myself but it takes more time. But dont know if that is the biggest issue. Should I intecify my learning? I am regularly studying, and working with symfony about 2 years, so I think I should know enough to be productive even with those strugles from time to time. But maybe they are too often?
I have listened book "deep work" and basic thing I think from this is - to minimize disctractions and learn to focus very well. But to minimize like in this book, I should work alone in my room. And even then I would like each hour for few minutes to read some new or smth, which this book says is bad, but a lot of people do that and they somehow get away with it. Plus if I work alone in my room, my social skills might get worse, and we all need social skills, even programmers.
I so envy to others who know how to be productive. I would hate if the only thing to be more productive is to reduce quality of the code, make more bugs. THats fucking cheating system.27
Not sure if Google Assistant is playing dumb so it can cheat me out of a point or is actually dumb :)
Considering how well it works otherwise I'd say it's cheating :)3
I am the old famous kiddy here, who just came back days before school exam starts^^
Just to say, I want to ask you all, is it ethical(?) to release a hacking/cheating creation tool for games for educational™ purposes?
I have been making a cheat creation tool called Mysterium, but I am not sure where to use it. I made cheats for some big title games, and reported them to the developers, patched, and got some in game items in return....
Long story short, is it okay to release to the public, or should i release this product to game developers?
A kid who made cheats since he can't play games well and wanted to get some free items4
I'm gonna have to assume that the rants here that have nothing to do with a dev's life (usually someone's account of their sorry love life) are taken care of by the OP professionally outside of this platform, like I did.
Because if not, it's honestly sad and it can wear on our nerves.
Look, if you're gonna rant about your asshole cyka ex or this girl who never noticed you, and then put it in the rant category, at least find something in it remotely related to software development. Idk man, maybe talk about how your problem with your cheating gf made you delete the production database by accident...? Or how your medievalist boyfriend argued with you via email about your love for Arduinos then suddenly asked you to debug his Python code?
Or tag it "random" or "undefined" for the love of Mary Mother of God. Dev rants in the rant category are wonderful because I get to read about dev no-nos and fuckups man. We need our intellectual fix of dev rants man.1
If anyone has an object (Domino's) recognition program lying around you might be able to get free pizzas for life.
played a typing game with my friends, hacked it with a small python code that types everything for me and told everyone I'm the champ.
right now i'm in the first place in the world :-)3
First real dev project was a calculator for a browser game, that calculates the optimal number/combination of buildings to build. I got bored constantly doing it manually, so I made this program as a fun and useful challenge. It involved basic math, and I did it in VB.
Second one was a stats tracking page for my team in another browser game, that let us easily share and keep track of stuff. It allowed us to minmax our actions and reduced the downtime between actions of different players. HTML, CSS, JS, PHP, MySQL.
Third one was a userscript for the same game that added QoL features and made the game easier to play. JS
Fourth was for the first game, also a QoL feature userscript, that added colors/names, number limit validation to inputs, and optimization calculators built in the interface. It also fixed and improved various UI things. Also had a cheating feature where I could see the line of sight of enemies in the fog of war (lol the dev kept the data on the page even if you couldnt see the enemies on the map), but I didnt use it, it was just fun to code it. JS
From there on, I just continued learning and doing more and more complex shit, and learning new languages.
I want to develop an open source software that lets you create exams and runs on an isolated environment which prevents the users to open any other software thus preventing cheating.5
!rant after over 2 years of fighting, I'm finally rid of my cheating-ex in finances today.
My House and life is finally my own again.
So I feel like looking up solutions for my code is cheating, so I try to do it on my own for hours. Nothing I try works and the solution is usually something really simple and I feel like I'm never going to understand..4
Well, it's time for a personal thing today, because I was hit with some shit today that I'm still kinda shook about.
So, as a bit of introduction (I've mentioned these in previous posts before but whatever, not everybody sees everything): I'm currently a senior in high school and I'm in the school's band (neither are too related, but a bit of setup for this story). I've been talking to a girl lately and I think I like her. She's fun to be around, kinda silly, and just great overall. She makes me happy and I like it. Her name is Grace, her sister's name is Taylor (just to avoid confusion later)
In the school's band, we play at home football and basketball games. Today was a basketball game. Normally when there's a game I just stay after school because I don't want to go home and come back a couple hours later, plus I like to hang out with some of the other people who do the same thing.
Grace was staying after for the game too. I was talking to her in the band room, kinda flirting a bit (on an unrelated side note, she's ticklish). Someone comes in the band room because he wanted to practice a bit, to get ready for the game. She's going back and forth between the band room and somewhere else (not too sure where she was). At one point I left to get a drink, come back, she's sitting next to him, just talking. I join the conversation, and her sister (Taylor) comes in, to get ready herself.
I go over to talk to Taylor for a minute. She looks at Grace and the other guy, then looks at me and just says "separate them". To which I said "...what? why? how?"
Me and her go outside the band room and she tells me that basically the guy has been cheating on his girlfriend with Grace, and it's just hurting everyone involved, except him basically. His girlfriend doesn't seem to fucking care, and he's done it before with someone else. (The other person actually like vaguely mentioned it to me a long time ago, but I didn't really know what she was talking about until now)
So basically, dude's cheating on his girlfriend with Grace. And I like Grace. Honestly don't know what the fuck to do. I want to do something because whenever something's going on with Grace, her sister always trusts me to make sure shit goes right. Some times when Grace wouldn't eat, her sister would always talk to me and ask me to make sure she actually eats.
Fuck guys. This stuff has been on my mind for the past ~4 hours and I don't know what to do, or if I even can do anything about it. I just needed to get this shit off my chest.
Sorry for the long personal story. Some parts I didn't really articulate very well. Honestly it was more of me just getting everything into words.6
Hey guys and gals, I built a silly little memory game! Comment with your best scores (no inspecting elements...that's cheating). Also, don't click too fast or it'll break. Lol
My daughter who was playing carom board first time in her life... defeated me (without cheating)4
Currently taking a statistics class. Can't wait to write some Python to solve the equations for me! 😀😀😀1
I wish gamedevs put more focus on the cheating problem in multiplayer games.
When you have to manually ban people in your esports minor qualifier there is something wrong...
I need to find a better game :(
Or start a cheat program company for the easy money but I doubt it's legal.7
CodeSignal's "almostIncreasingArray" problem is a horrible one. no wonder only 6% solved it.
the so called "easy" problem has an easy solution... until you reach the 100k long array in a hidden test, in which case you will fail thanks to a time limit and can be solved by cheating and adding a condition specifically for that test, defeating the purpose of the tests.11
I used to blast throught everything accademic in a really short time span. I used to push hard on the gas pedal since my college years, up to my bacheler degree. I was always on schedule with every exam, even graduated top of my class and first amongst my colleagues. But then, I felt the urge to change university, I moved out of my parent's home, in a far away city, and everything simply collapsed. All of the sudden, not only was I struggling with my exams, but, most importantly, I started struggling with telling the truth about it. I constantly felt in debt of my parent's efforts to put me through university, to have given me a chance. This caused a strange feeling in me, it was similar to a weird form of depression, I was unable to...act. To do stuff. To even wanting to do it. I started procrastinating everything. I lived at my parent's expenses in this far away town but all I could do was playing videogames. I somehow managed to get to the point that I only had three exams left plus my thesis, but I did this by avoiding all the real hard exams, somehow cheating myself. I was already two years behind schedule at this point, and willing to quit. I was desperate, I cried a lot, thought about running away fron everything as I fear the disappointment I would have caused by simply telling the whole story.
Thankfully I met my girlfriend who helped me realize all I needed to do was move back to my former university and take it step by step from there onwards. I almost didn't make it...again. But I was able to pull throught, I worked during the day, wrote my master thesis early in the morning and late in the evenings. I gave it all. And I made it.
I graduated last year and got a job in the industry. I don't feel as useless anymore. I still fear and dread what the burnout made me feel. How it almost destroyed all confidence I had in myself.
Tldr; I burned out right after getting my bachelor degree. And I stayed like that for years, up to the point that I ended up being years behind schedule. I was able to recover thanks to my gf but still fear and dread those feelings I had when I burned out.
Time to bare your souls!! Name your 5 most recently used apps, no cheating :)
devRant, Facebook, Dungeon Boss, Play Store, BabyCenter10
Learning iOS/Swift Programmer here.
I feel like Apple’s Developer Documentation is extremely hard to parse.
For one problem, it feels like there are 50 similar ways to deal with it; but only one way will actually work.
There also aren’t enough examples in the docs for me either, they just seem to go: “Here’s some code, figure out what it’s purpose is.” for most things.
I also feel stupid, because I’m using the Hacking with Swift tutorials to learn iOS Development(Great Tutorials Though); and I don’t know how to just build an app from scratch. (i.e. creating swift files and assets and compiling from the terminal.)
And using StackOverflow feels like cheating.
Lastly, I feel awful inside when other people see my work and think I’m a genius, when really, I feel like I barely know anything at all.
I’m I alone in this observation?
Or just dumb?5
I promised few days ago that I'll talk about my first job. So let me begin and tell you the job that made me hate idea of working for someone.
So I was 17 at the time and I was a blogger turned developer, who started with basic HTML when was 16 and then started to play with PHP and JS when I migrated my blog to WordPress. I loved to develop but never learned it so didn't think I could ever learn it. I wasn't a student of computer. So I learned PHP and JS by playing with WordPress. Soon started to make plugins, non-WordPress projects.
I didn't have much money then so once I started to find a job and found a company near my house which was looking for a PHP/WordPress developer. I didn't think I'm good for it but applied. I got the job. My first project was to make a portfolio plugin as a trial and he gave me seven days to finish it.
I did it in few hours and presented him with the final outcome in the first day of my job. And then he gave me themes to develop, I did 2-3 of them in a single week.
So that's about what I did. Let me tell you about the company. Every guy who worked there was a good person and supportive but the boss was a dipshit.
He didn't see the team or people but just money. I was being paid some $100 to work 8 hours a day while I was doing projects that would make him more than $100 in a single day. But that's financial stuff.
And one day he asked me to fix an issue on one of the clients he was maintaining for a client. It used WooCommerce and the payment part wasn't working. I found out that he hasn't enabled shipping to client's country and that's why it wasn't working. So basically it was something that his company fucked up. I fixed it and then he asked me to undo the changes. Then he called the client and told him that it was broken by client and it'll require more money and time. I WAS SHIT CRAZY. YOU FUCKED IT UP AND NOW YOU'RE CHEATING THE CLIENT. NOT ETHICAL.
WordPress was at 3.9 version then and he was using 3.4. I was like what?
I quit the job after 7 days. He made me hate working for someone.
One good thing happened, because of all the work that I was doing there I got enough confidence to start my own projects so that was great. And one day one of the companies from Romania saw my project and offered me a job which paid 10x the money for working half the hours. And I've been working for them for almost three years now. They are ethical and genuinely care about the people working for them.
So one more thing, I saw my former boss sometime ago and he told me that HE INSTALLED KEY LOGGER ON ALL THE COMPANY LAPTOPS TO TRACK THE EMPLOYEES. I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?
Code quality doesn't matter for him as long as the solution works, even if it's not secure. He had so many people with great talent working for so less pay.
Tell me your worse job experience.2
When I was little, my father told me about this thing he did when he was younger, he could tell a computer what to do, programming, and he promised me one day he'll teach me how to do it myself, but that day never came. A few years later, at age 10, I went to a "technology" summer camp, where one topic was programming in Processing, and I was really excited to do it, so excited and interested, that the place where I did I'd accepted me in their Coderdojo without having to wait the list (kinda cheating).There I learned Processing for three years, and how to use GitHub, until last year I decided to become a "teacher" myself (the topics we dealt with were really basic, and there were only beginners).
Other things I did is showing the people of my class how to program in TI-BASIC with our schools calculators, because, as they say, teaching is the best way to learn.
This course we started informatics at school, but the teacher isn't really an expert, and the few things he knows (apart from php4) I teached him.
I'm now constantly learning new things by Googling them and setting high goals for myself.
Trying to install elementaryOS alongside Windows 10 in my Acer laptop. Installation went smoothly but now it is not letting me switch to elementaryOS.
Come on Windows 10 (or maybe Acer), just let me use Linux already.
It's not like I am cheating on you! (or maybe I am)8
Is looking up the answers a good way to learn?
I started with free code camp a while back and always just looked up the answers and reverse engineered them when running into trouble. If I didn’t get it I’d look up a few videos on the idea.
But recently I started at a boot camp and after I asked they greatly discouraged me from doing this but I don’t see an alternative. I could just spent hours trying to guess the right answer and maybe eventually get the right one, but then my head is full of wrong answers and it takes forever. It feels like reinventing the wheel every time. I’m scared when I get further on in the bootcamp I won’t be able to find the answers online and I’ll be directionless.
Is this just imposter syndrome or am I cheating? Everyone I’ve asked said looking up what to do is part of the job.2
So I wasnt liking Kivy so I decided to get PyQt5 and I'm liking it but I feel like some of the studios widgets take a lot of programming out of the process and I feel like I'm cheating idk but it makes it a lot easier
I almost don’t dare ask, because my use of this didn’t go well at one employer, but does anyone use Pinegrow’s IDE for web development productivity? I used it a couple years ago and found it useful in speeding up development but couldn’t shake the feeling that it was another Frontpage or that I was cheating myself by using it.1
Cheating and using Arch-anywhere for my first foray into Arch after 3 hours of manual confit and computer failing over.4
Had a Word doc to format for our so-called CS class. A classmate submitted my file under his name, but didn't realize that my name was in the metadata xD. The teacher almost failed him on the spot.1
Not really a Rant but:
My Productivity Method:
1. Nootropics (Nootrobox Daily, Sprint for 6+ hour work/focus periods)
2. Ketogenic Diet (Ridiculous Energy, Amazing Food Choices, No Crashing, No Cheating!)
3. Moderate Exercise
4. Get Lit (Partying) once a month at least, hard liquors.
5. Nicotine (Vaping 6mg) while coding.
6. Caffeine (Bulletproof Coffee)
7. League of Legends breaks.
8. Weekly Cigar Social with other professionals.
Balance Vice with Virtue is a great combination for getting stuff done.
What keeps you going?2
Am I the only one that feels like they're cheating when they use libraries like Angular to make stuff easier? I dont want to feel like that but it just seems to happen :/3
I'm never committing to finishing another PC game ever again... And sticking to arcade, short games only.
Playing Nu no Kuni 2 for the last 3 days... 25hrs and counting... Now at final boss... I think and I can't get infinite HP in Skirmish... So Keep getting entire force wiped out one hit with his laser beam which keeps getting stronger....
It's like a fly vs us. In order to win it's gotta slowly chip away at u, but he can die at an instant any time...
Oh and the 25hrs includes massive cheating and speed hacking to move faster.3
Awkward moment when recruiter knows abt work you have done then what you remember. Make it looks like you are cheating and then when u work out u feel like idiot.
Haskell's foldl1 is do satisfying: "Folding" multidimensional arrays using a predicate feels like cheating. I feel dirty and clean everytime I use it...
I wonder, before with the touch id one needed your fingure to unlock your phone, so if you ware sleeping and someone touches your fingure you might wake up but with the new face id someone can just scane your face while you are sleeping for exempt your wife that you are cheating on... And can read your messages and other stuf, or ther people... I wonder if they did something to prevent that.4
String displayTextEatDay = cheatDay == day ? "Your cheating has begun! Enjoy your day and make sure you're getting back soon!" : Values.isCheatMode ? Constants.CHEATDAY_PREFIX + "\n\n" + Constants.EATDAY_TEXT : Constants.EATDAY_TEXT;
Whenever somebody asks my team to forge results , benchmarks ...