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Browsing to a porn site while still being in the corporate VPN.
Got a proxy page which said this type of content isn't allowed at work. Nearly had a heart attack ;D15 -
Does anyone else have a mini heart attack when you touch your pockets and can't feel your phone for a second?12
-
Ooooooh I just skip a heart attack and shit myself at the same time, thank god for error "can not delete database, database is in use"8
-
If programmers were doctors.
Doctor A: the patient is having heart attack
Doctor B: we have to reproduce the heart attack to be able to heal him
Doctor C: why dont we just remove the hesrt and install a new heart
Doctor D: human heart are bad, maybe we should use animal heart22 -
Fellow ranter who ever posted about fakeupdate.net thank you so much for the entertainment, a colleague forgot to lock their computer and came back to a heart attack and we had a nice laugh
8 -
I was just scrolling down a Facebook feed and a part of a picture with Linus Torvalds appeared.
- Hell no! Not again, 2016, just fuck off already!!
And then... "Happy birthday!"
My heart skipped a beat...
6 -
It's saddening to see that most of the students in my programming class don't care about programming :(
And it's heart breaking to see that the professor is using html4 instead of html5. 😣😣11 -
Out at my partner's 21st, going to pop the question as soon as a couple people leave and I can feel my heart trying to make its way out of my ass...
Wish me luck devs!26 -
Me - okay mom im going to sleep don't bother me.
Mom - okay goodnight sweet heart.
Me - *puts on headphone , have a cup of coffee and begin to code*13 -
That moment at work when we've had no calls for an hour and suddenly the phone goes off
*TRINGGGGGGGG*
*suddenly you have a few Linux support engineers with a mini heart attack*
😅8 -
- Spent 4 hours coding up the most complex but cleanest test I've ever written. Well let's commit this as a save point
- accidentally committed to master
- ohshitohfuck
- Stackoverflow how to fix this shit
- reset head
- destroyed all my work 😱
- fuckfuckfuck
- made a new branch
- ctrl-z in my editor to recover all my edits 😳
- commit to new branch
- dodge bullet, heart race decrease10 -
*Male devs dying of heat, air quality almost requires a rebreather*
*opens window*
2 seconds later
Female dev: "I am cold"
😑🔫
[some cunt decided the gun emoji had to be removed. with all my heart, fuck you and your family]31 -
Not my own rant, but when I see some user asking for refunds on a free app, I just gotta share it. See the developer's heart-warming response.
17 -
Probably the most heart breaking thing to hear as a Developer - " Nobody cares about your backend, front-end is the priority !" :/11
-
Just took apart my laptop to dust it out from the inside. Had it back together, put the battery in. "Alright, time to make sure I didn't break something"
Beep....beep beep beep....beep beep beep....beep
"FUCK I FUCKING BROKE SOMETHING WHAT DID I BREAK?"
Google Lenovo post codes (Thinkpad laptop). DIMM issue.
"Oh fuck I forgot to put the RAM back in.."
Perfect now7 -
!dev
Nearly had a crash today driving home and almost had a heart attack. Apparently my car had the heart attack for me and started doing. A speaker test.
So I'm contemplating what just happened and my car's speakers start going BEEEEP BEEEP BOOOOOOOOOOOOP (Subwoofer).
Then the radio came on and switched to a Spanish station.
I looked it up, apparently I had entered diagnostic mode on the infotainment system when I was fiddling with the wheel buttons as a stress relief.
Long story short, the diagnostic mode informed me that my car runs Windows ME!
I would like a new car please, kthxbye.8 -
I really, really hate it when someone has a problem/question, and I really dedicate my heart and soul to write a really good answer that even a stupid person would understand - with drawing, explanations and shit. And they answer is just:
"Thanks"
"Ok"
"I dont get it"
"Can you please do it"
"you spelled that wrong"13 -
Stallman heart failure recipe:
1. Start your UBUNTU LINUX(don't add the GNU part) and set up your .NET Core environment.
2. Download VS Code, the superior text editor for those that do not wish to have carpal tunnel.
3. Open the terminal inside your VS Code instance while inside a .net core project.
4. Type emacs -nw and watch emacs come to life inside of the terminal while living inside of the heretic vs code editor.
Wait for stallman to get a heart attack or a stroke from this.13 -
Visual Studio Code is the reason that minimized hatred for Microsoft in my Heart <3
VSCode is love!10 -
After a painstakingly slow conversion of a VM virtual hd, I got informed with this.
My heart skipped a beat seeing that icon.
4 -
At a busy restaurant.
Person 1: oh my God this man here is having a heart attack. Is there a doctor here?
Person 2: here's ten reasons why Kotlin is better than Java for Android development5 -
Just received my blood test reports.
It says, I am low on Vitamins which is causing fatigue and other issues.
Let me Google the causes, symptoms and treatments.
*Googles*
Well, now I am non-treatable permanent heart damaging Pernicious anemia.
Thank you Google. Thank you Web MD.43 -
I'm a PHP programmer and it hurts my heart whenever I see a lot of developers attack/hate PHP.
Why do they hate PHP that much? 😞21 -
My morning (RO = remote office):
Me: Your xxx implementation is very strange.
RO: Yes we are following a new example from experts in this field. See this link.
Me: Paragraph 1, use xxx class in these situations. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes we had problems with that, we decided to skip that.
Me: Paragraph 2, always use xxx when accessing data. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes that create many bugs, we skipped that.
Me: This section on debugging says to enable this flag while in development to allow the IDE to alert you to issues.
RO: Yes this causes the app to crash constantly. So we took it out.
Me: ... because its finding issues ... and telling you where the problem is, with an error message.
... your not following the experts at all.
RO: We are!, please read the link we provided.
... this will be discussed on my exit interview6 -
I had a small heart attack yesterday due to the unhealthy amount of energy drinks i consume so... I guess dont be like me guys23
-
*curl [PROD-SERVER-IP]*
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Failed to connect: timed out
*Heart drops out of anus*
*Reaches for panic button*8 -
Wireless fucking doorbell!! ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
This motherfucker almost gave me a heart attack. It kept ringing in middle of the night, went down to check, no one was there. Happened again, went down and sat next to the switch this time, and guess what?
It rang again!! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Booooo! Faulty switch! (◣_◢)10 -
That mini heart attack you get when you've rebooted the server, but it takes longer than normal before it comes up again (and before you can ssh it).2
-
Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.
Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.5 -
_An engineer was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle._
_Suddenly he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop. He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums_....!
_The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running_."
👌👏 *Classic!*
_Continuation
.
_The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said_
_I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . can you_ ???
👌👏 *Not only Classic but Epic*_ 😂😂👍9 -
!rant
I love the fact that some programmers will put there heart and soul into a project and spend there entire life working on it to only have no recognition or earn a single cent.
Yet the man who invented toilet paper literally wiped his ass and made millions...
I love how the world works! :-D5 -
I'm currently rewriting the heart, foundation, core module of my company, that's written with my own shitty legacy code that is old, is dirty, but somehow worked flawlessy during whole 4 years. I'm afraid.4
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One of the owners of the company I work for is teaching programming to the lady's son who cleans the office. They are poor people but with a good heart. It is so good to know that if he takes this opportunity, he could help his family in the future. This is awesome.3
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Nearly had to call an ambulance because of a sudden heart problem that left me strenghtless with fear for my life.
Hope you're getting a better Christmas than I do 😅6 -
When you need stress ball but dont have enought ++ to request one then you need to order one cheap from ebay because i really need it when code isnt working, teacher fuck something up (again) and lot of stuff gets fucked up 😭😭😭
6 -
This will always hold a special place in my heart.. Makes me so nostalgic every time. It's what got me into computers
8 -
When my partner in a project has a sudden change of heart and confesses to the the professor that he cheated and we both get a negative mark(-8 marks) even though i didn't know or participate in cheating 😡5
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So today i tried to be romantic so i wanted to say "I <3 U" to my fiancee (we say "less than 3" as a joke)
Me: "I less or equal 3 You"
Brain: "I <= 3 U?"
Me: "God dammit"
8 -
I was so tired of my job and I wanted to do something of my own. So, I thought why not just follow my heart, I love to travel so I just got into blogging and all with www.blacknwhiteboxes.com and now I have a company of my own where I help people plan trek.
1 -
I was going through random old files of mine and ran an old prank script that made my screen black and played the clicking sound a fucked hardisk makes.
My heart fell out my asshole and I rebooted before I remembered I have a solid state. FML. 🤦♂️4 -
No fucking way oyo.... Not cool
I got a mini heart attack until I opted to view the complete notification
Who do you fucking think will like this kind of fuckery... ₹773($10) is a lot for someone who just has ₹10k in his account (<$150)
10 -
I once posted a snarky rant about the inadequacies of our vendor's product on their own social media page... It appeared during a live demo about "Managing Reputation on Social Media" with several marketing dept. executives and ruffled some feathers.
Bright side: It had the desired effect and a half-baked product launch that was doomed to fail got delayed almost a month until the issue I griped about was fixed. -
Does anyone else feel Facebook is hell bent on attacking open source in order to gain a monopoly on it?
They are slowing replacing every industry standard tool with over engineered bullshit and it just gets lapped up like it's the best thing ever...EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME
Fuck you Facebook, i will never support you in your crusade against one of the things i hold closest to my heart.16 -
It's 1:20am
Body: let's sleep.
Heart: beer or rum.
Brain: why the hell js is not working as expected?1 -
Good morning people. Holidays in Malta. Trying to forget html, css, php, MySQL and JavaScript 🙂 ... But my heart is with you 😂
6 -
Do we really need heart? Normal brain is not enough for our multi tasking and multi threading. We need more.
4 -
Am I the only one to notice the coincidence that wk143 is about dating.
When I in school, we use to write 143 in place of "I love you" (letter count) within a heart with a aroow going across the heart.
"we" excludes me.5 -
*me reading @Alice 's cake recipe
"biscuits violently dismembered"
"dark as our souls."
"slowly and painfully molten butter"
"press your victim tightly against it"
"before it freezes to death"
"Put it into the oven and torture your victim"
"so it fills the hole in its heart"
Well... Wut. Da. Frigging. Heck. I've. Just. Read.9 -
I went on vacation in Norway. And it's mandatory to visit viking ship museum if you are in Oslo. At the of the exhibition I came to souvenir shop. AND WHAT I SAW WAS MAGNIFICENT!
There was whole army of ruber duck vikings.
I thought of buying one but I didn't have a heart to replace my police officer McDucky.
1 -
Today I showed my dad some of the projects I’ve been woking on, he said to me son show me something that makes money.
I had nothing.15 -
I went to the university today to perform a turkey heart surgery and to puff into pig's lungs. (Which was cool) Then I saw this sign, really have no idea how this could ever happen. Any suggestions?
3 -
i outed to my boss
During this moment, i had this in mind:
- we do not forget
- we do not forgive
- we are legions
result :
bloody nose for me
heart issues for him
score : 1-1
I am leaving ...24 -
"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"
11 -
I FREAKED OUT
I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR SOME REASON
Dfox thanks for the heart attack, I thought I got hacked.
7 -
I hate vodafone with all my heart..
Somehow our internet connection is being "disrupted" every night at 2:30 for one hour. Also occasionally during the day. They seem to be having "technical difficulties" with their cable connection, WHICH IS LITERALLY THE ONLY JOB THAT WE PAY THEM FOR...11 -
Being able to drink coffee (nope no decaf) including espresso's without my heart complaining. Idk that taste always gives me a boost!15
-
I once saved lives sending cpr teams to heart attack victims through an sms gateway platform.
This was amazing considering it was back in 2008 ;)11 -
That awkward situation when an instructor looks over your shoulder while you code
Instructor: *breathes over my shoulder*
Me:*slows down coding and eventually stops*
Instructor: ...
Me: ...
Instructor: ...Is something the matter?
Me: *screams internally*
I respect the teacher but having him do that is not good for my heart :/2 -
Programming music:
scarlxrd - HeartAttack
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
scarlxrd - BANE
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
xxxtentacion - look at me! https://soundcloud.com/rojasonthebe...
xxxtentacion - #IMSippinTeaInYoHood
https://soundcloud.com/veronica-mar...
These 4 songs suffice me.
Sub-genre is TRAPMETAL12 -
Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*
It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone3 -
Well it's a whole ritual, first it must be past 23 hrs, then an interesting project, an Spotify (trance/edm/electro/rap) playlist, and a quiet house and then everything falls into place and the code starts flowing down from my head and heart to my hands. That moment is so sacred that not even hunger interrupts it.1
-
Medical device able to track heart rate, oxygen saturation, respiratory rate and more non-invasively.
Still working on it. Starting clinical trials soon. Best side job in the world!10 -
My new motherboard (MSI Z170 GAMING AC) reports temps for the memory, CPU, GPU and hard drive in °C. And the motherboard temp in °F.
Almost had a fucking heart attack the first time I opened Speccy for benchmarking. -
Pushed code remotely and told a teammate to run it on the target hardware. He then told me he might of blown up $6000 worth of equipment. Then he says "Never mind everything works."
World record for biggest heart attack?1 -
I messed up my Windows XP Pro installation so many times as a teen (and just opted for a reinstall) that I can still remember the product key off by heart. Surprisingly it also became a great pub story.6
-
Got a new website i should maintain... Code is a real mess... Why did some kids do something - it breaks my heart^^
The directory hasnt any seperate folder except the img-folder - css,html and js are inside the root dir...
7 -
"here s your new server"
*Suse 12*
*Fs Layout is a mess*
*Ext3 everywhere*
*Docker is poorly supported, but supposed to be the heart of the server*
Can i go home please? -
I don’t have any of these fancy new anxiety disorders but I have been feeling like my heart is going to explode for like three weeks now, jesus fuck just want it to go away... productivity at work has been way down.11
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I was finally moved to a production project after 2 months in my internship.
Almost had a heart attack after seeing the source code. Thousands of lines of code. So many files. So many things to understand.
I hope I don't lose my brain before getting a stress ball :(5 -
Windows 10 loves to freeze... especially when I wrote more than 200 lines of code and I'm pointing the cursor on the Save icon!
Thanks MS, you know how to give me a heart attack.13 -
Fuck the new ECMAScript 2018 specifications.
https://youtu.be/s-G_RZ4RJLU
I mean seriously? How the hell is dot syntax gonna make it more readable?
Also, i love the brackets, braces and semicolon. Hate to see them deprecated.
Almost gave me a heart attack and my head was boiling watching it.
😓😌6 -
This morning I was looking in our database in order to solve a problem with a user registration and I accidentally noticed some users registered with unusual email addresses (temporary mail services, Russian providers and so on...).
I immediately thought about malicious users so I dug into the logs and I found that the registration requests started from an IP address belonging to our company (we have static IP addresses). My first reaction was: «OMG! Russian hackers infiltrated into our systems and started registering new users!»
So, I found the coworker owning the laptop from which the requests were sent and I went to him in order to warn him that someone violated his computer.
And he said: «Ah! Those 7 users? Yeah, I was doing some tests, I registered them. My email address was already registered so I created some new ones».
Really, man? Really? WTF6 -
Had coffee in the late evening.
And can’t fall asleep till now.
Browsed fb for abit.
Saw someone shared some scary shit.
Shook to the core.
Opened dev rant.
Heart felt almost instantly at ease.
Thank u Devrant 😭4 -
The project I accepted for measuring heart sound is giving me a heart attack 😬
I have only 10 days left the deadline 😭6 -
Hey girl, what's the address to your heart? Cuz I want to allocate some memories and point straight to it6
-
Github is having issues right now. I'm remembering fond memories of having a local gitlab server...
My heart is telling me yes, but experience is telling me I wont care next week and I'll just spend a few hours setting up a server for no reason.2 -
What is wrong with Java CLI applications? Is it really necessary to output a billion lines consisting of INFO an WARN messages?
If I work some longer with beeline I turn into a Java application myself.
INFO: Writing rant
INFO: Clicking submit
WARN: Heart rate too high
ERR!: SHUT THE FUCK UP JAVA!10 -
Big legacy code files in COBOL.
My team at my company is mostly done with a process converting all COBOL to Java or PL/SQL but there are still some major processes that remain. This includes a 60,000 line process that is at the heart of it. When something goes wrong there it's so hard to find :c10 -
I just got ran off the road, in real life. My heart won't stop beating. Not a joke, or a funny story, I can't seem to relax.3
-
Programming for an app with really bad UX is like acting in a movie with a terrible script.
You have to put your heart and souls into what you’re doing. But ultimately the final product will turn out bad due to forces outside of your own control.
There is no UX designer at my start up and our app looks like $hit.7 -
If git was written in english or in ancient greek it made no difference. It's everything counter-intuitive and you have just to learn commands by heart and google the errors. Because nothing makes sense, even if you know how it works and you used it for years8
-
I'm a php developer.
I don't like preg functions (regular expressions) and i don't remember exactly the syntax for alternate words.
I googled, and this is what I found.
An heart attack.
5 -
Best:
Leaving a shitty ass job in a shitty ass company.
Getting a kick ass job in a kick ass company.
Worst:
Being a gamer at heart and removing windows entirely.
Then trying to reinstall windows back into said computer after 3 weeks.1 -
I use to have a comic online. It wasn't popular or profitable, but I loved every minute of working on it, so it remains my favorite project of all time.
I know that barely qualifies as a 'dev' project, but... it's what was in my heart so shut up THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY EYE3 -
Can you overdose on strong coffee? I feel sort of lightheaded on and off when walking and heart feels like it's beating a lot... after drinking a large cup this afternoon...12
-
Doesn't matter how many years I do this job, a merge conflict will always stop my heart for a good few seconds.7
-
When you emphatically explain the code you've been working on non-stop for the past week, only to have the boss hit you with that "but what's the point?"
And your heart fucking breaks3 -
windows booted up into a blue screen for a second before going to the login screen.
i almost had a heart attack2 -
So with my current windows heavy workload it is with a heavy heart that I commit to learning powershell. Wish me luck8
-
Made something null at the wrong place in what felt like the world's longest multi faceted
If-else if-else(if) block, Passed tests, deployed, Then took 3 days off to move house.
When I came back was told the full gravity of what kinda damage that did, heart dropped out of my arse.2 -
Ah, installing a program... I never thought it would be easier on Windows. But Lord, the amount of broken repositories my Linux seems to have after just one week is heart breaking. I only bloody wanted to install apache...
-
By the way, did anyone ever went to hospital because drinking too much coffee? I drink it, you drink it, we drink it, but I'm seriously worried sometimes about my heart and blood pressure.13
-
totally !dev
I just saw my team mate clean his glasses with that micro fiber cloth that they give along with the specs. He just like, opened his bag, picked up his specs box, took that itsy bitsy piece of clothing and wiped his glasses!!!!!
My heart stopped for a bit :-/
Who the hell does that. Sheeesh.5 -
Just committed a code review change with a heart emoji included, Turns out Crucible does not support this and it broke the code review, Spent the last half an hour trying to change my commit message to fix the review
FML6 -
That feeling when they don't understand something, yet you know that no matter how much you explain about it they still wouldn't understand...
My heart can only take so much torture...5 -
Want to scare your boss? Wait for a day or two before month end and take all your stuff off your desk home with you.3
-
I have become so paranoid at every ++ and comment on my rants my heart races if someone has the same name as a colleague FML, thought this was going to relieve stress 😨1
-
My senior keep touching my laptop screen whenever I am showing him something on my laptop and I hate it from the bottom of my heart.
What do you think is the best creative way to tell him to stop?18 -
Feeling so dumb right know.
I have a C# exam tomorrow (on paper) and i can't get my brain to think in code.
I can't focus, I can't concentrate. I don't remember things i normally know by heart. Is it just stress? (Everything is pretty hard atm, lots of stress, lots of problems).
What could i do? I'm pretty messed up right now...13 -
Attempting to learn hex and rgb by heart.
It's becoming a tradition that someone in the office shouts out a random rgb or hex and I have to figure it out.6 -
Nothing breaks a dev's heart more than when you plan to spend your day off programming and work asks you to do a full day .-.
Why must everything cost money .-.1 -
Sad story:
SSHd to a vultr server, downloaded MongoDB docker (approx 170MB) download and extracting 70% of the image was done faster than me navigating from devRan notifs page, to devRant feed page, I need a new internet plan T_T1 -
When there were some coding questions to solve that I thought I can do but can't do more than 50% of them! It hurts to heart and I felt so gloomy.
-
It's like a stab into your fucken heart when your coding competition entry gets rated "you did everything perfect! :) But it's not enough for the top 3. :(" with multiple minus points across different requirements bUT NO GOSH DARN EXPLANATION WHAT I DID WRONG. I PARTICIPATED TO TEST MYSELF AND LEARN SOMETHING, NOT GET PUNCHED IN THE FUCKEN FACE FOR NO REASON FFS MAN.
-
I like my work colleague, great to talk to, bless his heart, however he has this mysterious power to make whatever he writes sound super passive aggressive or aloof. For instance:
Me: this request , to clarify you want me to do this, as per this document
Him: is that what you presume?
Me: 🤨2 -
That mini heart attack when you run `rm rf *` and it takes some seconds longer than you expected and you reallize that you cannot remember if you cd'ed out /2
-
Which is worse?
- Staying at a company you helped build because you have an emotional attachment to it, even if it's not as good to work for now, people are leaving every week and pay is under market rate.
- Leaving a company you helped build purely for more money and a big name on your CV.
Follow the money or follow your heart?
(Image slightly relevant?)
10 -
I checked out a Facebook profile of a stud guy. He mentioned his nickname as heart hacker... I died.6
-
As much as i fucking hate javascript and hope with a gleaming heart that it burns in the seventh circle of hell along with everyone who pushes it and the creators get their asses whipped with their own spines for all eternity as they slowly burn on the eternal flame
vuejs is pretty cool2 -
Having to explain to coworkers (not devs) why a site displays differently on different screen sizes and in different browsers every time they review a new site. Also why IE8 is the work of Satan and should have a stake through its heart, have a lead weights tied to its feet and be thrown into the deepest ocean in this solar system.6
-
I have come to realize that my stress comes from how inefficient my clients use their tech.
I have to stop caring. Is it up? Is it running? Good. That should be where my investment ends.
I shouldn't fear a heart attack or stroke because of some clients' inefficiency.
IT'S JUST SO DAMN HARD. -
During the job interview faking your smile like you understand WTF they are saying. Deep inside your heart thinking why you are not rich and you badly need this job.
-
Few weeks back, late night, busy watching online series and suddenly, junior pings me and asks for doubts related to implementation design and then implementation in nodejs (which I touched long long ago). And, me being attracted towards debugging, and kind heart to help the junior(hihi kind heart), helped to completely resolve the issue by texting and screenshot of logs sent over message.. just to mention. Time was around 2-3 am.. my most effective time period..
-
The best way to describe what I had to do today is I "Channeled Macgyver"... now production is working.
⚪Data wasn't flowing as expected.
⚪Component written by our team was blamed.
⚪Boss asked me to bypass the component so data can flow.
Sure, I can fix that... Give me a car battery, a roll of duck tape and a butter knife. Data will be flowing in production shortly. -
And i mean with all the full stack services and all the shit we need to know by heart
node + redis + rails + django + scss + grunt + npm + postgres + mongodb + npm + angular + react + all that shit and moreeeee
And then make comments like "heh thats html it what i was doing when i was 12"
😡
3 -
is it a bad thing you hear your uni's sysadmins sing Aqours' Aozora Jumping Heart in the cringiest way possible?3
-
Wanna develope an android app which plays and graphs heart sounds send by a blurletooth module!
Any helpful link ?5 -
When you sit at your desk peacefully doing nothing and a coworker calls you.
Almost fell off my chair... -
When you give your self a mini heart attack by knocking over an empty water cup while coding.
I can't count how many times I have done this over the years.2 -
Me: Ah, I need to delete /path/to\ some/directory
... starts typing
rm -rf /path/to
finger slips, touch "Enter" too hard for my comfort, heart skips a beat, but nothing is happening. Phew. I dodged a bullet.
I'll never ever learn this lesson.2 -
Deleted 1000 lines of code that I would need at a later point. Had a mini heart attack once I found out the code was no longer there...3
-
!$rant
Hmm.. I kinda want to add a terminal type feature to my portfolio project that let's you type commands to navigate the site or change some options. I could still keep the standard navigation elements for the people who get mini heart attacks when they even see a terminal xD -
There are a couple really bad things I've seen other devs do.
One of those things is taking on managerial tasks while they are a dev in heart. Slowly kills them from the inside.2 -
Not from a teammate, but using Ionic to create a banking app, I was about to have a heart attack seeing my brother forced to use it :|5
-
Doing the deployment to production, and towards the end one of the support guys looks over at me;
"So, the website in prod is throwing some errors"
Followed by another guy:
"Yeah I'm getting the same, SQL exceptions on the page"
I stare at them panicked for a moment, when one of them goes "just kidding!". Like dude, my heart just skipped several beats!
Any one here ever had something cruel happen to them during a deployment?3 -
The only project I wish I had more time to work on, and want to finish:
A 2D platformer as a gift for my girlfriend. It's about this little hooded gnome thing with a heart shape on its chest finding its other half that is supposedly miles apart from it because we're in an LDR so yeah2 -
I would like to thank everyone for their interest in my last two rants (that two with my CVs).
From what I saw, that rants were in the most popular, for which I thank you all! :heart:
As I promised, I will soon release the templates of that CVs
Anyway, thank you all! -
When some random customer of one if our (bank) clients tweeted about receiving money to their mobile money account in less than a minute (while it was like an hour before we built an API for that shit). Knowing I was the dev that made that happen made my heart melt1
-
Tutorial: How to get rid of your dev?
1. Find a very old (2+ years) jira task that took a lot of sleepless nights to get resolved.
2. Make sure that your dev is still on the watchers list.
3. Reopen to 'change some labels'.
4. Forget to close the task again.
5. Remove the body. Heart attack will get classified as a natural cause.
6. Close the task.1 -
Eyes are wet ..heart is broken ..
not because of love..
When someone tell your code is not good
it hurts deep inside when programming is your passion :(5 -
Meeting room pc with windows 7 switched on once a week. Sometime it says at boot that has to apply 32769 updates.
Everytime an heart attack.
Fortunately it takes only a couple of minutes.
-
The heart of every software company is the development department.
Without it:
- The sellers would have nothing to sell
- Testers won't have anything to test
- Technical support wouldn't have anything to install1 -
This has been said before, but i'm gonna be honest with you here, straight from the bottom of my heart
Fuck the new chrome design is fucking repulsive, when did material == rounded corners.
This design reminds me more of what facebook is trying to do with their grotesque messenger.5 -
Just wanna admit something (which I don't do often)....
Am I the only one who makes almost every day at least 5 typo's? It drives me crazy 😭 Sometimes I just think.. WHY?! WHY DO I ALWAYS MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE?!
But yeahh.. That's off my heart now.. Thanks 😁10 -
Four hours of work and the work horse decides to have a heart attack.
Thank the server gods for swap files. -
Unity has a nice feature where if you search for an item in your hierarchy, it fades to white as if it just crashed.
Thanks for the heart attack, Unity! Maybe this serves as a reminder to save frequently because it *does* crash a lot.3 -
Best:
Whenever I start a new project, I try to learn atleast one new thing. The best dev experience I had was my first project in HTML and CSS.
I treasure this project because I didnt learn just one or two things, I learnt a huge chunk of what I know today.
It taught me how to approach problems, find solutions and introduced me to stackoverflow.
It will always have a special place in my heart <31 -
This happened when I was in the first semester of my study (I'm currently studying Computer Science).
Didn't understand anything, never learned to code before. My first "project" from my lecturer was to write a mini-journal together with two friends of mine (which weren't able to code either) about the link of VR use with the increase/decrease of the user's heart rate.
We didn't find any way to record the user's heart rate automatically and periodically. The deadline was getting closer but thankfully we found an android app that can be used to detect someone's heart rate with the user's finger pressed onto the camera. Sadly the app can't be used to record the data periodically (it can only show us the average heart rate). We told my lecturer (who is supossed to "guide" us here) about the problem and asked him for solutions.
He told us to "modify the .apk and connect it to a database".
At this point, we didn't even know how to make a database, let alone "modify the .apk".
In the end, we used an oximeter, recorded it, and listed the results manually. 😂2 -
I may not be the guy who 'sudo rm -rf /' for a company but I dang near came close and had a heart attack...
-
Wait, why is nginx communicating from our cache servers to app servers using HTTP1.0? Added http_version 1.1 to a general config. Moments away our responses return 500 on our production because one of our module doesn't handle gzip. If I ever had a heart attack...
-
To the SysAdmins and Linux-Engineers here,
How you got into your job?
I'm a Linux-Fanboy by heart and love tinkering and fiddling with systems, so I want to work in the field?
Please tell me, how you got into your job, and how it is to work in the field.7 -
Accidentally cleared user accounts table that connects mobile apl accounts with main system accounts. Almost had a heart attack but luckily Azure had point in time restore 😌
-
-Me lvl22
-Writing engineering thesis
-Have two W10's, because of requirements for HoloLens emulator
-Turn off computer
-Run it again and bootloader doesn't loading
-Heart attack guaranteed4 -
Viruses are little monsters that eat your computer away (or what's left from it) after it's dead. They start with the heart (BIOS) and then go to the CMOS chip.2
-
Is the devRant logo breathing faster on load screens or is it just me? Now it appears that it is having a heart attack, @dfox please help him1
-
For the longest time I've had trouble trying to get my background images full screen viewed and responsive for some components while learning angular 2. Then some one typed this in the CSS
Min-height: 100vh; for height
It felt like I had a heart attack and spontaneous orgasim at the same time.
3 -
That mini heart-attack when you navigate to your AWS entities and it listed nothing.. only to realize you're in the wrong region.
Every fukken time2 -
My heart is always heavy when I have to add couple if statements with if statements inside of that if statement. Mans gotta do what mans gotta do1
-
Yesterday I spent my whole fucking day solving a bug from a Drupal multistep form, the kind of bugs you know it worked for a year then suddenly start to go full retard and simply not working at all
Took me half a day to get how it worked, half the rest to get why it stopped working and how to to make it work again, knowing that the "old fashion way" can't be applied anymore for dumb reasons (unless the client wants his user and payment history tables to be dropped, which I doubt)
I don't know if my solution is the best, but it works without too much tweaks, and hey, it still works today!! -
I'm always helping out a girl in my class with her coding assignments but her code is absolutely atrocious. I don't have the heart to tell her that her whole method, file and variable naming, and process is wrong and is causing her so many headaches.12
-
Can't stop gaming. I mean if
I put my heart to it I can learn anything I want within a few months but just can't resist the urge to boot up Witcher 3 every night.2 -
Back to Excel for control project, sih 😢, just because my non tech boss can't work with JIRA and it confused him. Do you guys know any idiot friendly control project before I having a heart attack?2
-
Found a very good description of programmers. We do not know each other yet we help each other. There is always someone who is there to help you. Proud to be a programmer.
2 -
People think that one day, apparently, I would stop being a dick to them. I don't know. I'm what I'm. I have a face like that, I talk like that, but I'm good from heart. I think people lack a sense of humor these days. That's the reason why people dislike me. I don't know why I'm even writing this.5
-
I lost the book that i store all my passwords on it
I almost had a heart attack and
I woke up from my dream2 -
Can someone suggest me a quick way to create some svg files or convert some basic flat shapes like image of a redcircle or a blue heart into .SVGs?
I don't have any experience in graphics development, so online/offline tools or converstion engines would be also nice.17 -
analogy for overfitting :
cramming a math problem by heart even the digits of any problem for exam.
now if the exact same problem comes to exam i pass with full marks else if just the digits are changed however the concept is same and simce i mugged up it all rather than understanding it i fail. -
people who write code like this actually give me heart palpitations. No it is not cleaner, you literally broke the block, it's disgusting.
if(statement)
{
doSomething();
}8 -
Background: Got a macbook, A external HDD(2TB) of which +- 1TB was used.
Yesterday i moved all my personal projects from my work laptop to my external, to move to my macbook.
One of my clients(Freelancing) calls asking me to install new hardware, install software and fix OS(Windows 8.1).
I leave work and go directly to said client and he hands over his Lenovo S20 Touch(No CD/DVD Drive).
I install windows 10 and other software from my flash(Already on there)
Good, Everything is ready to go. I go home and finally get to sit down with my baby(MacBook)
Me: *Plugs in external*
...
nothing.
Opens Finder, can't find flashdrive
Check MacKeeper
MacKeeper: VirusDetected
Me: *Pissed*
Client calls.
Client: Hey is everything ok with the laptop, no viruses no nothing. Because everytime i insert a flashdrive it gets a virus and i have to buy a new one.
Me: I installed windows 10 on it, it should be fine with defender now.
Heart: *shattered* YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME THAT BEFORE FUCKER!!
i never knew people like this still exist1 -
I finally did it. I installed Arch linux + Unity 3D + VSCode + budgie + vertex + sddm-deepin in virtualbox....
What a fucking journey and a half that was.
Now to install on an ssd for real...
My thoughts on the process:
1.) This is not for the faint of heart.
2.) Be preapred to devote some time getting it all right.
3. This was actually quite a rewarding process.1 -
My heart was still full of excitement when my branch was merge in develop branch without any comment. 🤩🤩🤩
-
Code monkey like fritos,
Code monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew,
Code monkey very simple man,
With big brown fuzzy secret heart
Code monkey like you...1 -
Captains Log:
It's been over a year,
I don't know if we will ever see it and the hope in my heart grows weak with each sunset,
the crew is restless, they thirst for it and I don't know if I can contain them anymore.
Oh Lord(@dfox) help us find the next episode of Devrant Podcast1 -
I made mention last week to a game I am learning to make in support of Congenital Heart Defect awareness. Idk who all wants to keep up with my personal development stuff while I learn the process but here is my discord link.
https://discord.gg/encgm37
Wish I would have posted it sooner1 -
My heart has skipped a beat..
I like to do front end in Angular, and Im learning asp.net core, so this is great for me.
2 -
Better salary vs Work satisfaction with scope of learning, exploring and creating new things. which one should I choose?
Mind says package, heart says work satisfaction.3 -
Django was the first then meteor js snap my heart, a few years of love and hate relationship I finally realized phoenix was the one all a long even though I kept thinking about meteor js from time to time <34
-
Dear fish (shell for anyone who doesn't know) ,
why the hell do you also color non errors red. Just gave me a damn heart atrack -
a nearly lethal amount of adderall as well as a small paper cup filled with liquid cocaine. Also somehow getting heart-burn from a singular french fry.4
-
Finding it really hard to work at home sense I installed dolphin emulator. Every minute is a heart breaking decision between work and wind waker
-
my next challenge is now building a personal portfolio page :)
I'll create a one pager.
I'm just excited cause its a lil bit harder than building an easy tribute page. My heart will go on xD2 -
I don't really like the idea of posting memes on devRant. We are not supposed to have fun here. For that we have Facebook pages! What we need here are pure rants/experience sharing from the heart. We want to connect to each other on the basis of shared experiences.
Let us share words from our heart, not memes from the internet.
Please let's not make it another r/ProgrammerHumor !!!8 -
So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...
Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.2 -
So, I'm in a class where we have to read some academic papers and make a presentation about it. This would be alright, if using .pptx wasn't mandatory. 😖
I'm seriously thinking about building the presentation in LaTeX and copying the slides into PowerPoint as pictures. -
This react native perf monitor just broke my heart. I spent about 3-4 hours trying to figure out why it's taking 712mb ram. Trying different perf measures and all. Then I tested on a real ios device and it was only consumed 103mb. Wtf is this 😭
7 -
Don't know if this was or will be a weekly question, but anyone have any good stories on how your opinion of a language/framework/application/etc. changed dramatically? Maybe there are some lessons to be learned for those of us that are stuck using something we think we hate, or are in love with something we shouldn't be.2
-
Coffee. Get wired off your face on caffeine and then you only have three choices, program like you've never programmed before, bounce off a couple of walls or have a severe heart attack.
Rinse an repeat until you're in hospital.
You're welcome 😂😂1 -
Many years ago, after a busy day and some stress eating, I built a button in my dream, and, almost as if I was triggering the reflux function, I clicked to test it, I shot straight up in my sleep from heart burn.1
-
I tried to reach myself Ruby a while ago, but ran into a plethora of issues just trying to get a stable running version of the compiler going. There's like, three different sites claiming to be the official site, which is which?
Does anyone even use Ruby anymore? Is it even worth learning?11 -
Can I get some advise on what a independent contractor (programmer) making no more then 3-4K has to do to be straight come tax time? This is my first time that I had done any freelancing work and am having a mini heart attack10
-
Assuming I live long enough to read the answers. :-)
Related link:
https://healthxchange.sg/heart-lung...
Doesn't have a lot of information in it..
Never having had one, I don't know what it feels like before you have one, but I felt earlier like I maybe was going to have one..
I tried standing up, not sure if that helped.
I tried laying down, but sitting up, I think that might have helped.
I tried laying down on my right side, that seemed to help.
So, did I do anything right, wrong, etc.
What should I do the next time ?
Bare in mind I live in the middle of nowhere, and if I ask for medical assistance, I'll probably be dead before they arrive, so need solo solutions !
I want to avoid getting a heart attack here, not deal with one afterwards..
I thought something was off when I felt a slight localised pain in my heart area I hadn't felt before when I was sitting down.
It got worse if I moved.
Slowing my breathing seemed to help.
Of course it might not be anything like what you feel before a heart attack, so anyone know, or give some kind of input on what it might have been ?
Blood clot from sitting down too long maybe ?4 -
I learned the ancient art of internal screaming and imagining the annoying people dying one by one at my feet.
this is the only way that I don't die of a heart attack some days. -
Was working on a CRM/CMS type of app until I recently got placed into a data and analytics project. Soon to be machine learning. But web applications will always hold a dear spot in my heart ❤️1
-
!rant
My heart broke a little when I realize there's no hoodie I can choose from the profile customization. A plain shirt isn't very effective against the blasted aircon. -
Oh shit I've had way to much caffeine 🤤
Heart is full on racing I haven't had any for a few weeks and I just had 2 relentless... High caffeine energy drinks
Oh fuck.... Loud music and hype might help !?
Anyone? -
People talk a lot of shyt on Web devs... learning JS was crazy this is coming from the heart of C++ Land
-
What are some courses, books, articles, and other resources that you would recommend with all your heart?
-
Possessiveness over one's code is more dangerous than possessiveness over his girl - codes are getting closer to heart
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