Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...

My bird fell asleep on the laptop while licking the shiny LENOVO logo.

So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.

When developing outside of a Starbucks and a bird decides to shit right on the keyboard of your laptop 😑

So apparently devRant is a problem in my life. As those of you who've read any of my stuff here know I work at Victoria's Secret. So two of my friends come in just before I was ending my shift to see what the plans were for tonight. The usual - hit the club, crash at one of our houses.

Thing is, I was scrolling through devRant when they walked up. (the below is paraphrased)

Friend1: Ugh, you're still on that thing?

Friend2: Is she really? <looks over my shoulder>

Me: <eyeroll>

Friend2: I don't get it. <pokes me in the left tit> You barely post on Instagram and you don't tweet anymore. And you haven't commented on any of my posts in like days. Wtf bitch?

Disclaimer: Yes, we are those girls who talk like that and go clubbing and dress up and makeup and all that shit. Don't judge me because I don't give a fuck. Anyway...

Friend1: Seriously.

Me: Really? We're doing this? Because I haven't posted on fucking Instagram? I talk to you every day. I see you every other day. I like coding. I like tech. This place is awesome and the people are cool. If I want to see your ass or your outfit, I can just look at you. I don't need to be on Instagram 24/7.

Friend2: Jeez bitch. Need a tampon

<we all laugh>

Me: This is my thing. It doesn't mean we aren't friend and we won't chill, but my future is in development and technology. So deal hoes.

Friend1: Ugh you're such a nerd.

Friend2: <laughing>

Me: And you're both like totally vapid sluts. But I love you.

Friend2: Jelly

Friend1: Totes jelly. Girl you need some vitamin D

Me: I'm sayin'. But that doesn't mean I won't spend my free time coding.

Friend2: Ugh alright we don't give a fuck. Code or whatever. Just be ready at 11.

We all flip each other the bird and they leave. I guess if that's the level of acceptance I can get from my wonderful, gorgeous, annoying, amazing, asshole best friends, I'll take it. I am not changing my path.

It's 2017, I've got a bird on my shoulder and a stressball on my desk, everything is alright.

( I should be working on that SQL statements I generated instead of writing them out right now)
Just one more thing
I ♥️ DevRant

that time when a client wants you to teach a bird how to fly.

but the bird is a penguin

and you are a bear expert

"but it has wings!"

A good question to ask everyone...

Me? Between early bird and perfectionist 😂

I messaged a professor at MIT and surprisingly got a response back.

He told me that "generating primes deterministically is a solved problem" and he would be very surprised if what I wrote beat wheel factorization, but that he would be interested if it did.

It didnt when he messaged me.

It does now.

Tested on primes up to 26 digits.
Current time tends to be 1-100th to 2-100th of a second.

Seems to be steady.

First n=1million digits *always* returns false for composites, while for primes the rate is 56% true vs false, and now that I've made it faster, I'm fairly certain I can get it to 100% accuracy.

In fact what I'm thinking I'll do is generate a random semiprime using the suspected prime, map it over to some other factor tree using the variation on modular expotentiation several of us on devrant stumbled on, and then see if it still factors. If it does then we know the number in question is prime. And because we know the factor in question, the semiprime mapping function doesnt require any additional searching or iterations.

The false negative rate, I think goes to zero the larger the prime from what I can see. But it wont be an issue if I'm right about the accuracy being correctable.

I'd like to thank the professor for the challenge. He also shared a bunch of useful links.

That ones a rare bird.

It's not a dev quiting but my brother who worked in parcel delivery at that time.
He was hired on a temporary contract but promissed from the beginning and in every discussion they had, that he'll get a permanent position after 6 moth, if his work is good.

Fast forward 6 months. They had a meeting and told him how satisfied they where with his work so naturally he asked about the permanent contract. Fuckers acted suprise and shit. Claiming to never have said any of it. However as they are happy with him and so "generous", they offerd him another contract for 6 months and told him, they could talk about a permanent one after that period.

He kind of has a temprament, so he got up, fliped them the bird and called them lying assholes and went home. He didn't show for the time left on his contract.

The funny thing about it he worked for the swiss postal service (which is owned by the state) but not directly but through this.company providing temporary workers (which is cheaper for them as they get a shitty salary compared to a full time employee with all the benefits).

Wankers!

Nice thing though, the accounting department still sent him a christmas bonus (he quit somewhere around mai...)

Yay! Nothing like waking up and having enough ++ to get that bird I've been wanting 😃🐦

Prooooo gamer tip!!!

If your computer is overheating and you need to piss, just kill two stones with one bird and piss on the computer.

Brought to you by PBS kids, which is made possible by viewers like you.

Yeah! Finally got bird on my shoulder! A bluebird.js 🐦

Startup.

Our intern is a weird bird. He is an immigrant (like me) and should be working his ass of to become an FT, and then tie the H1B. I never had an opportunity like this.

Instead the dude sat on his hands for four/five months since hired. He was managed remotely and fairly low touch. He was doing some light support work initially, though I had not heard anything from him.

I take him on now as his ass is about to get dropped. Manage him much more directly (small tasks several checking per day, you get the picture). We need to deliver something relatively simple in three weeks.

On Thursday I find out that the dude has no idea of what Spring is (we are a Java shop). Dude, you have had access to our fucking code base for five months, didn't it cross your mind to poke in? Maybe do a little research and see what this thing is that we are using ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE? I sit two desks from you, why the fuck didn't you ask me a question? This ain't fucking socialism where we have a five year plan.

I swear, two things I dislike: incompetence and laziness. And incompetence can generally be cured with some lecturing if the other party is willing to listen.

Got my bird and a devRant t-shirt 😀

The code is a freaking mess. Shared behavior, terrible variable/method naming, misleading module naming, dynamic polymorphic spaghetti, whitespace errors, no consistency, confusing even if you understand what the code is doing, ... . It should never have passed code review. It probably wasn't code reviewed.

The comments are sparse and useless. Quality level: // This is bridge.

The documentation does not exist.

Testing steps for QA are missing several steps, including setup, so actually using the feature is bloody challenging. If one thing is wrong, the feature just doesn't show up (and ofc won't tell you why).

The specs for the feature are outdated and cover only 4 of 19+ cases. And are neigh useless for those 4.

The specs for the report I'm fixing don't even check the data on the report; it just checks for one bit of data on each row it creates -- a name -- which is also the same on each row. gg.

The object factories (for specs) are a mess, and often create objects indirectly, or in backwards order with odd post-create overwriting to make things work. Following the factories is a major chore, let alone fixing or extending them.

The new type has practically zero test coverage.

The factory for the new type also only creates one variant -- and does so incorrectly.

And to top it all off: the guy who wrote the feature barely ever responds. If he does, he uses fewer words than my bird knows, then stops responding. I've yet to get a useful answer out of him. (and he apparently communicates just fine, according to my micromanager.)

But "it's just fixing a report; it'll be easy!"
Oh, fuck off.

Apple flips the bird to devs again...

So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.

“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”

Ok... update Xcode...

“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”

WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”

When it's Monday morning, before 10 am, and customers start instant messaging you with angry looking emojis...*sigh*

😠 👽 🔫 🔥

I am making a game for my country nepal which is like Flappy bird(only little bit)

Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit... I'm at Starbucks, coding on my laptop. I just came outside to smoke a cigarette and right after I lit it, bird shit landed on the ground two feet to my right. 😥

Close call...

This god damned fucking group Project in University!
How did 2 of these stupid as shit ballsacks of useless crap even manage to get through the first 4 semesters?
And now they can't contribute to anything. Or even worse is when they do contribut and mess up everything. Its like trying to play chess with a god damn bird.
Now this fucking project is robbing me of my sleep and the fucking idiots that organize the whole damn thing don't even care about that it's basically just me and one other guy carrying the fucking project.
Stupid theoretic computer science people that get to use as as slaves for their resarch because we "need to get some experience".
If I get anymore fucking experience of how a big software production works I'm going to fucking murder someone...
Verdammtes Arschgeigengesöcks.
Diese schwanzlutschenden Pferdgefickten Eiterwichsende Hurrensöhne.

I fucking shit Blood because I'm in too much stress. And I mean that literally. My fucking asshole burst open because I fucking have to deal with you dirty disgusting scumbags.

Definitly !rant; btw long post ahead

Soooo not so long ago i joined this community by chance just cuz i installed some app randomly found on google store and what can i say. Best decision ever!

I can say i never met such an interesting and diverse communitiy ever and i kin of ground fond of it (i usually dont get too attached to peoples).

After a while i felt the urge to get myself involved into some disscusion at some random post and i did it. But it felt empty as my image was just a plain green bubble of anonymity. But yeh, i am cool with it, i will customize it after some ++es. No problem!

I got incremented for a while and i got to make a simple generic avatar. I felt again a urge, but this time to customize even more. Sadly, anything cool needs approval by the people. Soo i kind of let it go as i am not really the kind to find myself talking in other businesses and i moved over.

Until i saw it! Not the tiger, not the bird but the dog! Annnd i wanted it so i made a joke that i am a wizard with an invisible dog. What can go wrong, right? Well the thing is.. it did not go wrong, as expected, but it went great, kinda unexpected.

How? Well, some random stranger felt me and gave me a hunble chance to get closer to my dreamy real dog. And so it begin, my crusade to get that damn dog!

But what i have realised fast is .. this is not facebook! Nor Instagram! People doesnot upvote attention whoreing or such lowly acts, but they are actually prone to support people who just.. get involved.

And so i did. I got involved. I actually got involved in a community! For a awkwardly introvert person that's something, but maybe more than few of you people can relate to this.

And today i finally reached that goal! I have a real doggo! Well, real as in not invisible, not as in a great responsability, but now i have both. But this was not such a big deal. The big deal is that i found people whos interests are alike to mine and are prone to help, support and befriend others. I must say, thanks to all! Wonderful time, and while i am not here for a long time, i will surely be!

Cheers and dev on!

Really linkedin!? I am trying to get an entry level software developer position and my connections/search history should reflect that, but no what their system reflects is "Bird removal technician" wtf!!! Looks like I found my true calling card guys XD

Do you guys know about the Windows 10 operating system?

I highly recommend it.

It is so easy to get done whatever you want in just a few clicks or.. several.

It has a great web browser called Internet Explorer that comes pre-installed with it. If you love animations, it will even sometimes show you that beautiful loading animation for as long as it wants. If you have a habit of wasting time on the Internet, it will intelligently slow things down and become unresponsive to help you get rid of that bad habit. It's just that great.

It has a lot of great features pre-enabled for you like sending data to Microsoft to improve your experience on a personal level. The operating system cares so much about you, unlike other operating systems that represent a flightless bird.

It's so smart, it even keeps you from doing stupid things like customizing the operating system. It makes sure that you live in the given box and don't break anything. So caring, right?!

At random times, it shows you a blue screen and a sad face to remind you that life can be sad at times but you gotta keep going. It is profound.

It comes with great useless software that you absolutely don't even need! How great is that!

I use Windows 10 and I recommend that you do too.

Have a good day..

I wonder if flappy bird dev is in this community. Anyway, I want to ask you guys - What would have you done if you were in his situation?

I hear he removed the game after he saw people are wasting too much time on it.

People waste too much time on porn, Facebook, YouTube and what not. I don't understand his reasoning behind removing the game.

Anyway, what would have you done?

All the devs look cute now with that bird in their shoulder :P

!Rant

Lessons from this picture:
1. Not all opportunities are to be taken. Some are traps.
2. A person can become so determined to destroy another person that they become blind and end up destroying themselves.
3. You fight best in your natural element and environment. Here the bird has advatange in his natural element.
4. Know your limits, we all have them.
5. Sometimes the best response to provocation is not to fight.
6. Sometimes to accomplish something you need team work, you will not always win alone.
7. Stick to what you do best and don't pursue what will kill you.

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

So... did I mention I sometimes hate banks?

But I'll start at the beginning.

In the beginning, the big bang created the universe and evolution created humans, penguins, polar bea... oh well, fuck it, a couple million years fast forward...

Your trusted, local flightless bird walks into a bank to open an account. This, on its own, was a mistake, but opening an online bank account as a minor (which I was before I turned 18, because that was how things worked) was not that easy at the time.

So, yours truly of course signs a contract, binding me to follow the BSI Grundschutz (A basic security standard in Germany, it's not a law, but part of some contracts. It contains basic security advice like "don't run unknown software, install antivirus/firewall, use strong passwords", so it's just a basic prototype for a security policy).

The copy provided with my contract states a minimum password length of 8 (somewhat reasonable if you don't limit yourself to alphanumeric, include the entire UTF 8 standard and so on).

The bank's online banking password length is limited to 5 characters. So... fuck the contract, huh?

Calling support, they claimed that it is a "technical neccessity" (I never state my job when calling a support line. The more skilled people on the other hand notice it sooner or later, the others - why bother telling them) and that it is "stored encrypted". Why they use a nonstandard way of storing and encrypting it and making it that easy to brute-force it... no idea.

However, after three login attempts, the account is blocked, so a brute force attack turns into a DOS attack.

And since the only way to unblock it is to physically appear in a branch, you just would need to hit a couple thousand accounts in a neighbourhood (not a lot if you use bots and know a thing or two about the syntax of IBAN numbers) and fill up all the branches with lots of potential hostages for your planned heist or terrorist attack. Quite useful.

So, after getting nowhere with the support - After suggesting to change my username to something cryptic and insisting that their homegrown, 2FA would prevent attacks. Unless someone would login (which worked without 2FA because the 2FA only is used when moving money), report the card missing, request a new one to a different address and log in with that. Which, you know, is quite likely to happen and be blamed on the customer.

So... I went to cancel my account there - seeing as I could not fulfill my contract as a customer. I've signed to use a minimum password length of 8. I can only use a password length of 5.

Contract void. Sometimes, I love dealing with idiots.

And these people are in charge of billions of money, stock and assets. I think I'll move to... idk, Antarctica?

so i was in colorado
walking past this goat ranch.
at least I thought it was just a goat and sheep ranch.
it was some kind of dog daycare with an attached petting zoo of scary looking animals.
so it was late afternoon.

i had some food left and stopped to feed the animals which included some of the largest damn goats i ever saw, i mean towering goats.

suddenly, this big horrific reptile like head with red eyes appeared over the fence, and i screamed in fright, to which a giant fucking bird ran away several feet.

motherfuckers had a goddamn emu in with the goats !!

So... I've got a confession to make.
I'm no longer a Dev. After the disaster that was my last commercial gig, I went and got a sec Ops role... And I love it. It's just technical problem solving and explaining all the way.
Don't get me wrong, I still love to code. But that's exactly the thing. As a commercial developer employed by corporations, I spent close to 80 % of my time not coding, but in useless meetings, or trying to figure out just what my colleagues thought was "common sense", reverse engineering their work and documenting how to get it running, etc. Basically, fixing shit for braindead academics with next to no real world experience.
Now, when I code, I get to do it on my own terms, with my own stack and as much comments and docs as I want to have. I own my time, and the only ones that are allowed to interrupt me is the local fire department.
I can do what I'm fucking passionate about and leave the rest for the useless people.

Female : how hardcore aye you ?
Me : I clear all notifs in devRant even if it is 99+ all the time
Female : wow, lets get laid already

Two coding buddies that do not combine well.

Anything you say will be used against you in courts of paws( 🐾 ).

Source:Blue bird

BIRD OWNERS. If you live near ANYWHERE with fireworks, few or many, just a friendly yearly reminder that the smoke from those fireworks will destroy your bird's respiratory system. KEEP YOUR WINDOWS CLOSED. Do not underestimate how dangerous that smoke is for them.

Happy new years everyone!

After 700, it takes you to the dark side! That dino bird surprised me outta nowhere.

Try and beat my score? Anyone up for the challenge? :P

Do you guys often get upset because of people that ask your job because when somebody asks me what I do for a living and I say "I'm a programmer" this someone says one of these:

1- Oh really, can you tell me HoW tO HaCk NaSa? (It's more often than you think)

2- WOW AWESOME SO I HAVE THIS BiLlIon DolLarS ApP IdeA CaN yOu ProGraM iT?

3- Hm... and... what do you do for a living? (Apparently programming is not a job)

4- Cool! Me too! Bcs once I MaDe ThiS GaMe I prOGraMmed WiTh GaMeMaKer (true story, and it was a flappy bird, but in the place of the bird it was chuck norris with a moustache instead.)(with lasers.)(Also it wasn't really working.)

5- Cool bro, so, can you take a look at my printer?

6- Hm nice * looks away with disgusting face * (that was my own family lol ;-;)

Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.

So now we can have bird everywhere on our avatars, there should be some mask option for bird head, just like in Team Fortress 2

Anyone going to the TNW conference? The super early bird tickets are quite inexpensive.

!rant
Warning : This rant is long and is a rant asking for help and suggestions. If you will read and dont leave any comments, please go search other rants. Thanks.
-----------------------------------
Hi, fellow ranters. In our community, we have a tech class where teens (teens here mean 14yo -15yo) come to learn computer stuffs. Teens here are selected by a test and an interview. There are some teens who are f***ing awesome. One of them are proficient in scratch. (yeah, the orange cat) Another is awesome at PhotoShop, and the other loves windows xp. The teacher uses Microsoft Visual C++ IDE made in the 1990s. The kid sitting to my left made flappy bird with gamemaker. About 10 to 11 teens doesnt know what ctrl+alt+del does in windows and never did programming before... 3 among them always brings coke and oreos and eats super loudly. CRACK! And I bet no one knows about git.
Ok. Enough for the awesome teens. Now what we learn.
We learn C! Yes, C. We learned for, if else, switch and all those stuffs, then learned variables, which made other students who never did programming before be (―,.―).
Next class we will learn about functions in 3 hours. Then array and pointer in 3 hours. Thats it for c programming. Then we do some unnecessary stuffs and time for the finals.
We need to make a project with up to 4 teens as one team. Now I am asking you awesome ranters to suggest some projects for about 4 pros and 16 noobs can do. 10 hours are given in class and we can do in other times by ourselves in home. What should we do? I bet many of them will say to make ascii art in c which is dull and I have no thoughts of doing that.
Any thoughts will be appreciated.
Thank you for reading.
To see my skills, go to my profile page.
| Comments below
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In russian, wagtails are called “трясогузка”, literally “a twerking bird”. “Трясо” is “shaking”, “гузка” is an obsolete term for “booty”, not tail. Hence twerking bird.

When a client tries to sue but then realizes their fight was nullified by the signed contract.

Bird = client
Fox = Developer

You know you're up too early if all you can see is
- null persons
- one car
but you hear
- a quadrillion birds squatting
'YOU HAVN'T FINISHED THIS TASK'
on your way to work 😭

BIRD OF THE DAY (sooo damn cuuuteee)

I am at the meeting and I keep hearing bird signing, wind humming, sounds of spring. It seems boss is in a forest's cabin right now while every other dev is in a cubicle...

when you cant be arsed to do icons so you just use emojis for button icons.

btn.textContent = "🗑️"

because icon sets now have their own apis (like what ever happened to icon fonts?), and documents explaining what scripts and commands to run to *install fucking plugins* on software written to *supplement* doc servers. plugins and software whos host site returns an SSL error. nice.

to use web icons. downloaded only on request. from other sites.

seems kind of eh, tower-of-baylon to me. like a bird landing on the electrical lines near your house might cause a blip and break one or two icons on your slick 2020 web app.

idk just seems unnecessary, like if you're small, your gonna want to embed your fonts on the webpage instead of overcooking things and hosting *a fucking server* just to serve an api for fucking *icons*. and if you're large you're gonna reduce those requests anyway

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

I'm absolutely jealous of those lucky few that spend like 30 minutes developing some really simple phone game and then get hundreds of thousands of dollars in return because it has millions of sales in that month of popularity.

Looking at you flappy bird!

Evening: I have no idea how to do it, 4 hours of programming are just wasted.

Morning: Oh, I changed couple lines in yesterday code and everything is perfect now.

I'm interning and working on something above my skill level and it works for the most part but I think I may have done it completely wrong for like the past week :') everyone is on paid vacation and I'm just sitting here like a baby bird with a broken wing

"halp"

Pls no anger if it doesn't do exactly what it is supposed to. I am frail.

I don't understand why twitter gives itself so much importance!?
I created some years ago with the wrong date of birth, now when I changed the date of birth to match the real one, they effing locked me out!
It took them around 4 weeks to send me a mail to restart my account.
Chill little bird, why so serious?

A hackathon sponsored by two brands, the topic was to create smth cool with their APIs (either of them, they were to pick a winner each). We got a little too ambitious and tried to use both, ended up messing everything up and nothing to show. They loved our idea though :|

PS: Somehow the winner was a crappy flappy bird clone ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Trying to switch from 2 finger bird-view typing to 10 finger no-view. Fuck this is hard! I'm just veeery slowly getting used to it, although I tend to fall back automatically when I don't focus on it and just want to type in a few characters.
I keep doing several typos and often forget where a key was exactly or confuse the position of some character, even though I typed it fairly often before. Also typing any number or non-alphabetic letter is mostly a wild guess of finger position.
Either I'm a very slow learner or smth's wrong.😪

The early bird...

Product Owner (PO) the problem with this sharing widget it loads slow and people might scroll past it.
Me: ok. Let's make it fixed on the side of the page so that it's always seen, but not intrusive.
PO: No. It's not how the brand should look. And it might cover 1% of the skin ad. Let's make our own widget.
Me: that would require to create several apps on social networks and maintain the code internally instead of using a centralised service that many people already provide. You don't have the money for that.
PO: sorry I got distracted by this bird outside the window.

META-LUCK: A Pseudo-Ontology Of An Authentic Future

* * *

I think in the not-to-distant future we will abandon the idea of authenticity (messaging, corporate responsibility, ethos) in favor of other factors, such as cost. We won't abandon it and replace it with fakeness, so much as realize
that we don't, as a society favor it at all, not in the absolute sense, nor in the relative sense like in relation to things like cost.

We will either abandon authenticity entirely, or alternatively, transition to a world where authenticity is the highest valued quality, being adjacent to truth.

Heres why. Authenticity, like all social qualities, can be 1. mimicked, 2. simulated,
or 3. emulated.

In the first case, a corporation, product, leader, organization, or other, apes authenticity simply by its knowable, external features. It mimics the sounds, like a jungle bird copying a jack hammer to scare away predators or attract mates.
There is no understanding, let alone model, external or internal. The successful mimic
is little more than a lifeless, unthinking puppet.

In the second case, the attempted authentic simulates authenticity: That is, an external
model is formed, or pattern, that is predictable, and archetypal. It may have an internal
model even, a set of policies and processes for deciding the external-facing behavior.
But these policies and internal processes and models are all strictly outward facing. It is purely pathological in its goal, desiring only at minimum to achieve *externally attribute* authenticity (public opinion) rather than those internal changes that generate the true perception of the public--a perception not of surface behaviors and shrewd calculating policies and processes, but as a quality of authenticity for its own sake. This is in some sense the difference between the mundane and the atavistic, that the benefit, while not definable strictly, is assumed as a 'matter of course', culturally, within the organization or individual or company. It is to say, a *quality* of the thing, that *generates* outputs of a certain character and nature, rather than a *goal* that is attained 'after-the-fact' by behaviors generated for *other* than being authentic.

Here we reach the limitation of definitions.

Finally, we arrive at the case of number three, the emulation. We have in part already described it, but lets try and summarize a bit.

The Authentic is an *originator* of behavior and outward appearances, being an internal quality of a person or organization. It originates behavior, rather than being the goal of behavior and outward appearances.

Its benefit is assumed, though not always nameable or definable, even though this sounds naive, superseding other factors like cost and profit. As such the authentic does not emerge in a cost-focused environment, not readily, not often, and not cheaply either.

It is in some sense an experimental state of being, of goal-seeking only after-the-fact of "being true to ones origins" is established above and beyond those goals--setting and achieving only those goals which ultimately align with the origin and intent of the authentic.

Why do so many of you guys/gals have a bird on your shoulder? What's the origin?

I don't know where this "you own your dog, but your cat owns you" attitude is coming from. When I come home, my cat runs to the door, chirping as if she saw a bird. Then, she greets me by laying on the floor, reaching towards me, licking my hands while purring profusely. Love your cat and treat it with respect, and it will love you back. I treat her as my child — as if we were the same species but different age.

Today on my science test they asked, "There is an animal in a cage, how would you find out if it is a bird or a mammal?"

a. compare it to the characteristics of birds and mammals

b. see if it has a beak

c. look at it's droppings

d. open the cage and see if it flies out

Out of all the questions, d is the most reliable.

Just got on a fb argument because I said something along the lines of: mfkers that throw the finger in a pic are the same mfkers that will quickly disappear from a fight

Yo, if your ass is though enough, then it is. Flipping the bird at a pic makes me think you're willing to throw hands if needed be.
Anecdotal evidence proves it ain't real

Non tech hobby of mine: bird watching (you may have guessed based on my username). Although it’s a non tech hobby, there are so many great apps to help identify birds and learn about them. EBird, birdnet, Merlin, picture bird etc. I also have a few books about bird watching.

Crazy how many different kinds of birds you can see when you really start paying attention.

Let me run something by all of you. Let's say you once started freelancing as a "Plan B" in case your full-time gig dropped you. Over 12 years you've managed to build a long-standing personal brand around that occasional freelancing. You have several clients who adore you and the work you do and they tell you they would be lost without your talent and have nowhere else to go and nobody else they trust. You know, because in the past you tried to send them elsewhere (for various reasons) and they just kept coming back.

You get laid off from the full-time gig and ACME Company calls and interviews you as a top candidate they're really interested in for that same type of work for a full-time job they're offering.

Here's the catch...if hired, you have two months to basically erase your personal brand and agree never to do any freelancing work as before, even on your own time on evenings and weekends. ACME wants your full focus and attention. Additionally, you find out that the person you'd be replacing is being let go because they weren't sufficiently tech-skilled for the job. And, with a little digging, you find out that person _also_ had several freelancing gigs going on the side. Probably for the same "Plan B" reason. Which is probably why ACME is demanding exclusivity.

Your client base is small. ACME says "we don't care". The work you do is 90% automated and easily achievable in just minutes a day on a weekend or evening. ACME says "doesn't matter". You already had full-time work to begin with so you weren't doing a ton on the side. ACME couldn't be less interested in this "excuse". And you're not keen on the idea of burning down your brand, especially with no guarantees of any kind in the present IT industry hiring/firing/layoffs climate. ACME says this issue is make or break for them.

If you get to the offer stage do you:
a) Flip the bird to your brand and clients you've built up for over a decade and memory-hole it?
b) Negotiate a non-compete clause with ACME, agreeing not to take on any new clients while working full time for them?
c) Flip the bird to ACME and look for something else?

Asking for a friend. ;)

Bird 1: oh no.
Bird 2: don’t worry, he only has one stone.

I hate Mondays...

So, Yours truly, the multilingual flightless bird leaves his apartment... Locks door... Fucking key gets stuck in lock (had some attempted home invasion attempt last year, left a few things bent).
The last thing I can use today, important project to work on with a deadline close enough to worry about.

I would say that's a classic Error 500 on login kinda situation.

The irony? I fancy myself a pretty good lock picker(A must have for an aspiring pentester) .

Luckily, a quick squirt of gun oil resolved that one... Seriously, how do people manage without a supply of tools and stuff?

i see all this little kids making this discoveries getting money and securing job positions in big companies and building this famous app like the clasic "flappy bird" and I wonder.. how the f//k are they doing all this.. then i discover their is udacity.com, apps from solo learn that teaches you everything! and all source of shit.. so my question is.. why TF am i paying for college?!?!?!!!

From the window by my desk I can see helicopters, jet planes and the occasional bird attacking people.

What do you see out your window by your desk?

Worked on a project form 8AM-12midnight straight and wanted to copy the project somewhere else.
My stupid brain just shift + delated the whole working project.
lmk if it's just me or have any of you also done stupid mistakes like this?
Just so I can calm my bird brain and at least think of another career path.

Do you come to work earlier so you could leave early, or you prefer longer morning sleeps?

so i was eating my taco right and this fucking bird gets in because my outside door is open, and he fucking starts tapping on the glass and running into it. this guy literally took 3 minutes to escape and almost died. what the fuck

I feel very frustrated about this situation. I'm studying so I haven't many time to work but I worked last two years and now I feel as a bird with clipped wings. I need a side project, something mine, to work on, to put myself in. I don't need to get money from it but the revenue it's only a confirmation about the success provided by hard work and dedication. I can't fill this emptiness with the study. I feel I just need to work on something I believe, see it grows up and came alive. Every project I start and every line of code I write seems meaningless. This situation is a strange existential drama and hurts me. It's like I forgot how to be satisfied programming. I live in this recurrent melancholy and I don't feel realized.
Sorry for the sad rant but I need some suggestions from someone who can understand me.

White Bird in a Blizzard. Definitely my favorite movie even though it’s so sad as it reminds me of my own life

A pigeon just shit on me - probably bc all of the bad vibes I’ve been spewing. I hope everyone has sex tonight. I’ll be at the party playing the role of bird. Bye.

Couple of questions? What's to late to stay up coding or what's to early to start coding in the day?

I'm personally always mindful of my health.

My biggest dev regret is not starting earlier. I started learning how to code only 5 years ago, when I was 19. God, I wish I started earlier.

Dreamt I was in a mansion being attacked by zombie Big Bird. I simply took him down by repeated headshots with a handgun lol

Pokémon Go is like Flappy Bird all over again

"The pushy bird gets the worm." - Sean Adams

So I want to get a bird. A conure. And I really want to get one but I’m deathly afraid I’m not gonna be a good owner. I’ll sacrifice a fuck ton for it and I will commit to taking care of it and befriending it but I’m just really really afraid.

And here it comes bois, the famous Monday Morning Mumbling is back, for everyone's pleasure.

Do you remember your uni years, when you had wonderful coding lessons, and you learned sick languages ?

I do aswell, since I'm still in uni.

But why, WHY, IN ALL OF GOD THOUGHTS, DO I STILL HAVE TO TAKE MATHS LESSONS ?

It's my fourth fucking uni year, and I'm still supposed to deal with math lessons which are about what I learned 6 years ago. And guess what ? I still failed the test since I fucking don't understand a single shit in maths.

"Uuuuh if yu wan tu derivate a function u hav to multiply ur derivated function basic expression with the derivate itself lul xDDD so funi"

FUCK OFF DUDES I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE SICK BIRD SHIT ABOUT MATHS. I WASTED THREE YEARS OF MY LIFE LEARNING ABOUT BINARY TREES, MATHEMATICALS WAYS OF SPILLING YOUR CEREAL BOWL WHEN YOU HAVE TO LEAVE IN FIVE MINUTES, NUMERIC WAY OF OPTIMIZE YOUR SINK SPACE WHEN YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO DO THE DISHES, JUST LET ME FUCKING WRITE CODE INSTEAD OF ANNOYING ME WITH UNEXPLAINABLE MATHS SHIT NOW !

I know maths are important, okay ? But I'm so fucking tired of learning this shit again and again and still failing those shitty tests where they only give you maths problems without any other goal than messing with your grades.

Fuck this shit I'm pissed off on so many levels, I wasted tons of money on a private school to enhance my résumé history, and now I'm stuck with some strange "f'(x)" boi that will ruin my year.

RT's appreciated, if you recognised yourself in this story, don't forget to send some biscuits to my postal address.

TL;DR : Why wasting your time on theoritical lessons when you could use your time to learn new dynamic technos, like C++98 ?

Terraform + helm-chart ... I really ned a break. Who the fuck invented this shit.
The HCL format sucks
The documentation sucks
The dev tools suck
The debug output sucks

But I'm ok with that, I can manage.
But today really it shot the bird ... I can't have a fucking comma in a string? Because idk why the fuck helm-release tries to parse that fucking string and wants to make an array or whatever out of it? Why, you fucking abomination?
Something in the docs? Nah, who reads them anyway.
Because you know it's totally not strange that a string is analyse and oh wait there's a comma in it, the dev surely wants me to make an array out of it, because you know ...
So now I have to escape my fucking comma to prevent it to parse my fucking string. I just want to have a fucking string you hideous monstrosity ....

Game developers:
Don't you always have dreamed with making a game like Flappy Bird that is so simple but gets so popular and you become millionaire?
2nd question: why do you think that this game was the lucky one that got so much fame? Because there are thousands of other games like it.

Thanks Stallman :D

I want a bird :/

Back on terra firma.
Free as a bird
#ohWhatAbeautifulMorning

IT/Dev Connections must be getting desperate. They keep on extending the early bird registration, and taking $100.00 off with the special VIP discount. I would so love to spend a week in Vegas hanging with like-minded geeks, though.

!dev
!!Lyrics

Really a random post but related to my personal dev-life so maybe it’s at least arguable if it belongs here.

This is one of my all time favorite songs, I can identify myself with it (although I’m reinterpreting some parts).
Back in Highschool I had girlfriends, I had time, I had my entourage, everything except money. All my dad wanted me to become was a rich fucking millionaire. Failure was never accepted, no matter what it was about and everything could always have been done better.
It was pretty much a military childhood. I already loved programming back then but only as a hobby, kinda.
I really wanted to make good money so I started a dev career (with makes gooooood money where I came from). The more I invested in my career, and that was a lot, I more and more lost the understanding of what’s really important, just pursued my goal of being the best fucking dev out there and start my own company in the next 10 years.

Well.. 10 years are over now, I’m still an engineer and I lost everything I had before I started this. Especially friends and relations to women (which I’m not even able to connect to anymore).

In this lyric, the blackbird and raven are the career that just ate me alive. Hope that makes any sense to some of you?..

Anyway, here the lyrics if you wanna read it:
—————————————-
Sons of Anarchy
Come join the murder - white buffalo

There's a blackbird perched outside my window
I hear him calling
I hear him sing
He burns me with his eyes of gold to embers
He sees all my sins
He reads my soul
One day that bird, he spoke to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

On a blanket made of woven shadows
Flew up to heaven
On a raven's glide
His angels they turn my wings to wax now
I fell like judas, grace denied
On that day that he lied to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

I walk among the children of my fathers
The broken wings, betrayal's cost
They call to me but never touch my heart, now
I am too far
I'm too lost
All I can hear is what he spoke to me
Like Martin Luther
Like Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

So now I curse that raven's fire
You made me hate, you made me burn
He laughed aloud as he flew from eden
You always knew, you never learn
The crow no longer sings to me
Like Martin Luther
Or Pericles

Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king
Come join the murder
Come fly with black
We'll give you freedom
From the human trap
Come join the murder
Soar on my wings
You'll touch the hand of God
And he'll make you king
And he'll make you king

welcome to flappy bird

What do you think about Flappy Bird?