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If Doctors Were Like Coders
(cross-posted from https://medium.com/@c09b6133a238/...)
Problem: The patient has a broken leg.
Solution:
1. Ask the patient to reproduce the exact scenario that resulted in the broken leg. Watch closely to see if the leg breaks again. Check for consistency by repeating the scenario a few more times.
2. Explain that this isn’t an intended use case for the leg, and besides, it only affects one person. Ask the patient if, all things considered, he really wants to prioritize his broken leg over your other work.
3. Point out that the patient’s other leg performs just fine under the same circumstances. Ask if he can use his other leg instead, at least as a workaround.
4. Attach several accelerometers to the broken leg and break it again. Stare at the data received from the accelerometers, then shrug and declare it useless.
5. Decide that the patient’s problem must be in his spleen. After all, that’s the only part of his body you don’t really understand.
6. Track down the people who created the patient. Ask them if he’s ever had spleen problems before. When they seem confused, explain that he has a broken leg. Ignore them when they tell you that the spleen they created could not possibly cause a broken leg.
7. Ask Google where a person’s spleen is. Spend half an hour reading the Wikipedia article on Splenomegaly.
8. Open the patient and grumble about how tightly-coupled his spleen and circulatory system are. Examine the spleen’s outer surface to see if there are any obvious problems. Inform him that several of his organs are very old and he should consider replacing them with something more modern.
9. Compare the spleen to some pictures of spleens online. If anything looks different, try to make it look the same.
10. Remove the spleen completely. See if the patient’s leg is still broken. If so, put the spleen back in.
11. Tell the patient that you’ve noticed his body is made almost entirely out of cellular tissue, whereas most bodies these days are made out of cardboard. Explain that cardboard is a lot easier for beginners to understand, it’s more forgiving of newbie mistakes, and it’s the tissue franca of the Internet. Ask if he’d like you to rebuild his body with cardboard. It will take you longer, but then his body would be future-proof and dead simple. He could probably even fix it himself the next time it breaks.
12. Spend some time exploring the lymph nodes in the patient’s abdominal cavity. Accidentally discover that if the patient’s leg is held immobile for six weeks, it gets better.
13. Charge the patient for six weeks of work.14 -
Fun fact:
In the game Civilization, Gandhi had a aggression rating of 1 which means he didn't declare war on anyone. Now whenever someone Researched Democracy their aggression rating dropped by 2. Now instead of it dropping to - 1, it caused an integer underflow and the aggression rating became the highest possible value, making Gandhi into a nuclear warlord. He nuked everyone!
20 -
Declare variables not wars,
Build packages not walls,
Execute programs not people,
Throw exceptions not stones.12 -
CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"
6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"
Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"
CFO: 😳
(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)15 -
Student walks into tutoring center halfway through the semester for a computer science appointment and their first question is "How do I declare an int?"
Me: 😐8 -
Got assignment that needs to be written in C.
I write mostly Python.
It's ok i got it.
*after 5mins*
WHY THIS SHIT DOESNT FUCKIN WORK.
ah shit, i need to declare the variables.8 -
At one of my former jobs, I had a four-day-week. I remember once being called on my free Friday by an agitated colleague of mine arguing that I crashed the entire application on the staging environment and I shall fix it that very day.
I refused. It was my free day after all and I had made plans. Yet I told him: OK, I take a look at it in Sunday and see what all the fuzz is all about. Because I honestly could fathom what big issue I could have caused.
On that Sunday, I realized that the feature I implemented worked as expected. And it took me two minutes to realize the problem: It was a minor thing, as it so often is: If the user was not logged in, instead of a user object, null got passed somewhere and boom -- 500 error screen. Some older feature broke due to some of my changes and I never noticed it as while I was developing I was always in a logged in state and I never bothered to test that feature as I assumed it working. Only my boss was not logged in when testing on the stage environment, and so he ran into it.
So what really pushed my buttons was:
It was not a bug. It was a regression.
Why is that distinction important?
My boss tried to guilt me into admitting that I did not deliver quality software. Yet he was the one explicitly forbidding me to write tests for that software. Well, this is what you get then! You pay in the long run by strange bugs, hotfixes, and annoyed developers. I salute you! :/
Yet I did not fix the bug right away. I could have. It would have just taken me just another two minutes again. Yet for once, instead of doing it quickly, I did it right: I, albeit unfamiliar with writing tests, searched for a way to write a test for that case. It came not easy for me as I was not accustomed to writing tests, and the solution I came up with a functional test not that ideal, as it required certain content to be in the database. But in the end, it worked good enough: I had a failing test. And then I made it pass again. That made the whole ordeal worthwhile to me. (Also the realization that that very Sunday, alone in that office, was one of the most productive since a long while really made me reflect my job choice.)
At the following Monday I just entered the office for the stand-up to declare that I fixed the regression and that I won't take responsibility for that crash on the staging environment. If you don't let me write test, don't expect me to test the entire application again and again. I don't want to ensure that the existing software doesn't break. That's what tests are for. Don't try to blame me for not having tests on critical infrastructure. And that's all I did on Monday. I have a policy to not do long hours, and when I do due to an "emergency", I will get my free time back another day. And so I went home that Monday right after the stand-up.
Do I even need to spell it out that I made a requirement for my next job to have a culture that requires testing? I did, and never looked back and I grew a lot as a developer.
I have familiarized myself with both the wonderful world of unit and acceptance testing. And deploying suddenly becomes cheap and easy. Sure, there sometimes are problems. But almost always they are related to infrastructure and not the underlying code base. (And yeah, sometimes you have randomly failing tests, but that's for another rant.)9 -
Job offer:
"There is no hierarchy within this company."
Bullshit.
Given a group of people, a hierarchy will emerge. In any company, a hierarchy will emerge. Even within a team a hierarchy will emerge.
Some people like to butt heads, some people like to go with the flow. It's how you deal with these personalities that matters.
You can try to be as fancy you want and declare your hierarchy to be as flat as a pancake, yet the reality is: there will be one.
Certain people will be trusted more by other people. Certain people will have more power in the decision making process.
Can we please stop deluding ourselves that this is not the case?
And that is not necessarily a bad thing. It only becomes bad if the company culture sucks. Instead of platitudes in regards to the assumed absence of hierarchy, I would be more interested to know how a company deals with its hierarchy.
How is feedback handled? How do people argue? How are decisions made, challenged and implemented?
That's what I would find much more interesting.14 -
I've a recently joined developer hired from campus sitting next to me.
She: I'm printing an array in Java but it's not working. Could you please check what's wrong?
I see this piece of code:
printArray(arr);
Me: Where is the printArray method?
She: (With a puzzled look) Oh, do I have to declare that?
Me: 😶😶😶 (lowered my head, walked away slowly praying for the company)9 -
Damn you stackoverflow!
Why can't we declare an answer as outdated or deprecated or just plain out wrong!
I like that you have so many questions, yet when the correct solution is a 0-upvoted by a 0-rep user hidden at the very bottom between a huge amount of wrong answers and whereas the *accepted* yet wrong answer has upvotes that are skyhigh, it just wastes my time.
All that is achieved is a feedback loop enforcing a faulty answer will accumulate ever more upvotes. And waste somebody else's time in the future as well.
I cannot add the correct information, as that would harm the author's intent. I cannot edit the faulty answer to state that there is a better answer, as that would be an attempt to reply. I can downvote it, yet that just a tiny drop on a very hot stone.
All I can do is add a comment pointing to a correct answer, yet that is easily overlooked.
Come on, stackoverflow! This is madness!6 -
Story Time. Inspired by another rant.
Context: I'm In a coding camp years ago, it's the first day.
We're doing introductions (name, why you're here, etc). Always fun to do that....
The folks running the camp are excited to introduce a student who also at one point was a teacher for some sort of girl power coding organization. So this raises questions, why would someone who teaches be a student in this camp?? And even a bigger question is raised when this person introduces themselves for a long time, and as an aside puts down the girls she taught in this program they taught ... like who does that?
horribleLady does that ...
A few hours later horribleLady asks her 12th question of the day (we haven't even started talking about code). Before she asks her question actually says:
“I know, I’m going to be a problem.” -laugh-
🚨🚨🚨 ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ 🚨🚨🚨
Fast forward to group projects and she's this sort of emotional storm, tears, and a sort of angry shouting that isn't angry enough for some folks to say she's yelling at people ... but she is. Fortunately I'm not in the first group project with her, but because we're all working in the same room we all get to see the train-wreck unfold.
The moment she doesn't get something (all the time) everyone in her group has to STOP and figure out what they're going to do about it, then again STOP because she thinks someone is doing something different than what was planned. STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP.
In a way, everything had to go through her, she didn’t declare it that way, she didn't present herself as any sort of authority, she would just stop everyone the moment she thought anything was wrong, or she didn't understand it (all the time), and either inject herself or demand help from her team. Everyone around her had to be drawn into whatever problem she had. It was horrific to watch.
Private slack channels would light up like crazy with "OMG", "WTF", "I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER", "FUCK" and "SHE"S HOW OLD!?!?"
So finally it happens to me and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly (capable guy, nice dude, pretty sure he was high all the time).... we're teamed up to work with horribleLady. Thankfully for just one day. I accept this because I figure one day with her is enough penance to try to avoid any further contact later on.
My approach is straight stone face. I refuse to respond to her sulking, or sighing, or general emotional bait she throws out constantly. I saw other students unwittingly take her bait (they were trying to be helpful) only to have her crap all over them with her frustrations or whatever it is is going on.
Still we're teamed up with her her for the day so I'm going to be a good team member and I explain what guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I are doing / trying.... and so forth. But she's just too upset that she's even assigned to work with us, and tells me I'm just not doing it right, and her explanations about how we're not doing it right makes less than 0 sense. I ask her to show me what she means but she won't type anything on her keyboard, she'd just talk about how she’s thinking conceptually in circles and sulk about it rather than listen. I don't respond to any of her shit and say "I'm going to try this." and guyWhoDoesPotConstantly and I just keep working.
She would later call the instructor over and complain to him for a while and say: "These guys just get it, they're not helping me, I want to be assigned to another group." She doesn't get her way so she just moves to another table in front of us.
After that day I figured it was a great time to ask .... to NEVER be assigned to anything with her because "If I told her what I thought it would just get a lot worse." I got my way ;)
Other students weren't so lucky. Tears, sulking, her special way of yelling at people that somehow never got her in trouble (she should have been kicked out of the program) just kept going on. She refused to even present one group project she deemed not good enough despite the fact that she contributed nothing functional to the project that the TA's didn't write for her...
Amidst the stories she would tell to students was one of how she sued her totally sexist/racist/evil former employer. She never said what came of it, but that combined with her inability to do things reminded me of a rant I read on here.
I sometimes fear being hired someplace and walking in my first day to find I'm assigned to work with .... horribleLady. In this scenario she managed to get hired and they're too afraid to fire her so they assign the new guy to work with horribleLady...
I've no idea what happened to her after the camp.
(I rewrote this rant a few times because it kept circling back to a larger story about the coding camp I wrote about a few years ago, so if this seemed sort of broken up and wonky, yeah it was / is / yeah)4 -
Python: I hate the way it uses True/False over true/false
Java: Static. Just fuck static. oh and System.out.println(), why the fuck did they make the basic print function so long to write.
C#: I despise the way the curly braces get automatically put under the function declaration rather than beside it since it's a language style thing.
C: the inability to declare vars in altho declaration of a forloop. Although I think C11 let's you do this.
Javascript: Fucking prototypes.
Coldfusion: it runs like an elephant. Slow and heavy.
Go: The way the compiler won't let you have unused variables/imports. Pain in the ass for testing.17 -
Please. Hear me out.
I've been doing frontend for six years already. I've been a junior dev, then in was all up to the CTO. I've worked for very small companies. Also, for the very large ones. Then, for huge enterprises. And also for startups. I've been developing for IE5.5, just for fun. I've done all kinds of stuff — accessibility, responsive design (with or without breakpoints), web components, workers, PWA, I've used frameworks from Backbone to React. My favourite language is CSS, and you probably know it. The bottom line is, you name it — I did it.
And, I want to say that Safari is a very good browser.
It's very fast. Especially on M1 Macs. Yes, it lacks customization and flexibility of Firefox, but general people, not developers, like to use it. Also, Safari is very important — Apple is a huge opposing force to Google when it comes to web standards. When Google pushes their BS like banning ad blockers, Apple never moves an inch. If we lose Safari, you'll notice.
As for the Safari-specific bugs situation, well… To me, Safari serves as a very good indicator: if your website breaks in Safari, chances are you used some hacks that are no good. Safari is a good litmus test I use to find the parts of my code that could've been better.
The only Safari-specific BUG I encountered was a blurry black segment in linear gradients that go from opaque to transparent. So, instead of linear-gradient(#f00, transparent), just do linear-gradient(#f00f, #f000).
This is the ONLY bug I encountered. Every single time my website broke in Safari other than that, was for some ugly hack I used.
You don't have to love it. I don't even use it, my browser of choice is Firefox. But, I'm grateful to Safari, just because it exists. Why? Well, if Safari ceases to exist, Google will just leave both W3C and WhatWG, and declare they'll be doing things their way from now on. Obey or die.
Firefox alone is just not big enough. But, together with Safari, they oppose Google's tyranny in web standards game.
Google will declare the victory and will turn the web into an authoritarian dictatorship. No ad blockers will be allowed. You won't be able to block Google's trackers. Google already owns the internet, well, almost, and this will be their final, devastating victory.
But Safari is the atlas that keeps the web from destruction.22 -
Typical Tuesday morning. Got word that a client was having trouble viewing a mp4 video, thats being used as a background element on their website, on their iphone.
No biggie, I think to myself.
An hour in Im praying to the safari Gods and cursing the existence of iOs (or however the hell you spell it).
While debugging I realise the browser gives up on downloading the video 2 seconds in, the same way I gave up watching that Netflix Neath note abomination, two seconds in.
So i quickly write up an ajax script forcing the browser to download the file before displaying it...F.I.G.J.A.M
But hold up 'webkitURL' is deprecated. Please use 'URL' instead ..dafuq ?
Okay okay I got this just use a work around for that ..aaand done.
Should be working right? Wrong (-_-)
Half an hour later searching stackoverflow like its the gospel and judgement is upon me and I found the solution..I found the solution, simple stupid solution that would make you wanna facepalm so hard that your great grandkids would have marks on their face.
Declare the MIME type in the bloody source tag in the html ... shoot me now
3 -
I applied for PHP Developer
Interviewer: What is interface?
Me: it is class with unimplemented methods?
Interviewer: But why we use it?
Me: it acts as a contract so you can assure that
on implementing interface developer will follow
the same architecture.
Interviewer: that's okay but why is the need for an interface at first place?
I was irritated with the interview process as he was smirking
every time I answered.
Me: I never get a chance to do that kind of research. Truth is
even if you hire me your manager will declare the unrealistic deadline and won't care if I comment the code or know why we really need to implement an interface.
After he did not smile and I left the chair.13 -
So I found this in the code:
Inet4Address.getByAddress (new byte[] {0x7f,0x00,0x00,0x01})
It's localhost. Why the actual fuck would you declare 127.0.0.1 as a fucking byte array!15 -
Holy fucking cockgoblin!
If you interview for a senior position, please, for the sanity of your interviewer (me), make sure you know how to declare variables and how to iterate over an array in the language which the shitgoblin (you) "love and use all the time".
Of course the interviewer (me) is gonna be polite and let the shitgoblin (you) code out your 50-line solution for a 3-line problem, but after 2 hours watching the shitgoblin contemplate solutions that anyone who ever opened a fucking beginners tutorial by accident could answer, the interviewer might prefer to have been on a Justin Bieber concert or have sucked huge sweaty ballsacks for those two hours.
I know that interviews can be hard and stressful - I've been there, am there, and at some point will be there again - but please, for the love of nonexistent gods, don't be a time-wasting shitnugget but prepare yourself!16 -
Taking a class on C and machine-level code for school and I have my final tomorrow. After the entire semester, people are still posting questions to piazza asking how strings work and other students are giving wrong answers. Not to mention all of the correct answers are posted in our lecture notes and countless places online. Seriously people, why are you a CompSci major if you can't even figure out how you declare a string after 10 weeks of coding?3
-
Our UX guy today presented a prototype of a new UI where users can declare an order.
Under the categorie "measuring unit" used to give the specification of mass or volume. He gave the following options
- kg
- litres
- m^3
- m^2
- others (which would allow the user to input anything)
Wtf why do you give the user the option to input anything. So we had to explain to him what SI units are...17 -
!rant
I suddenly remembered that time when I was a junior, faced an issue in the code. I assign a parameter for a method for background-colour, where I have to declare a Colour value with the hexcode, then I got an error thrown at me. That's says Colour(); not found something something.
Took me one hour to realise most programming languages are American. Should be Color() not Colour()
Facepalm. That day I thought to me self, how stupid can I get in a day.5 -
trying to do anything on the PS2 is almost fucking impossible
i imagine a board meeting where they were designing the hardware
"how can we make this insanely hard to use?"
"let's make decentralized partition definitions, allow fragmenting of entire partitions, and require all partitions to be rounded to 4MB. If you delete a partition, don't wipe the partition out, just rename it to "_empty" and the system will do it for you, except it actually won't because fuck you"
"let's require 1-bit serial registers to be used for memory card access and make sure you can't take more than 8 CPU cycles to push each bit or it'll trash the memory card"
"let's make the network module run on a 3-bit serial register and when initialized it halves the available memory but only after 8 seconds of activity"
"let's require the system to load feature modules called "IOPs" and require the software to declare which of the 256 possible slots it wants to use (max of 8 IOPs) then insert stubs into those. Any other IOP you call will hang the system and probably corrupt the HDD. You also have to overwrite the stubbed IOPs with your own but only if you can have the stubs chainload the other IOPs on top of themselves"
"let's require you to write to the controller registers to update them, but you have to write the other controller's last-polled state or the controller IOP will hang"
of course this couldn't make sense, it's
s s s s
o o o o
n n n n
y y y y
4 -
declare @username varchar(255)
if @username is null
set @username = suser_name()
.........
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT @USERNAME TO BE RIGHT AFTER YOU DECLARED IT???6 -
Whenever I automate a lot of menial code, so that after that I only declare what I want, and I immediately and automatically get it just the way I wanted, I feel LIKE A GOD.
Bow to me you stupid computer! I now command you with just a thought!1 -
Lesson learned: if you're going to derive a class in c++, make sure to declare a virtual destructor on the base class!
I just fixed (one of...) the massive memory leaks in my damn project.
Pictured: the strings in a derived class actually getting freed!
20 -
Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..
-
I once knew a guy who claimed that:
* Declarative languages were these where you declare variables before you use them.
* C is a functional language because every subroutine was returning something (even void).2 -
Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.
Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.
Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.
My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.
For now I'm planning to focus on art.
Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.13 -
Partly !rant
Another small story about my "teacher".
Today we got told again that we need to develop a personal programming style. I asked him how we were supposed to do that while being restricted by his demands. He tried to justify this with bullshit about how to not declare variables. As i told him that wasn't my point at all he stuttered and couldn't say anything. I got officially allowed to use everything i want! VICTORY SCREECH
(But restricting students on which commands they are allowed to use is still bullshit imho)5 -
I find many of the peculiarities about our kind (developer) to be amusing.
Here is one I have seen too many times to count...
You ask a group of developer something like...
“We have a project built using X, Y and Z. We are looking at integrating the “example framework” to solve a specific problem. Do you have any experience with “example framework” or would you suggest another framework?”
Inevitably you get the same useless response of “Why are you using X, Y, and Z. It’s so <insert generic complaint here>!” Followed with no actual attempt to answer the question asked...
Listen, I know some of us a socially awkward (I can be) and I know we like to debate and argue.
But, if someone asks you a specific technical question about an existing product, either...
1. Answer the question with your experience
2. Declare that you do not have experience with it
3. Shut your fucking childish mouth
No one cares about how you feel about the size of the underlying technology in existing products! What do you expect?
“OMG, we didn’t realize X technology as 100mb large! Hold on while we go and reengineer our entire product base because of this fucking revelation you just told us!”
You may want to hear your own voice but the rest of us would prefer it if you would shut your mouth if you have nothing useful to add.
(Reads as: we would prefer is you fucked right off!)3 -
Me: Hey can you make another cup of coffee like this one for my friend?
Rust: Sure, but you know it's expensive, right? Why don't you just let your friend borrow your coffee?
Me: Alright, but I have two friends.
Rust: No problem, you can share it with as many friends as you’d like, but only one of you is allowed to drink it.
C++: Hey wait! I’ll gladly make a cup of your coffee for your friends! I’ll even let them share it! Heck, they can even share yours!
Rust: Hey C++, you know copying coffee is expensive.
C++: Of course I do, but he didn’t define move construction or assignment, so he implicitly wants a copy!
Me: [To my friends:] Hey, let’s just go over to the Python coffee shop.
Rust: [To C++:] Hmph. The baristas at that place will even let you declare that a muffin is a cup of coffee.
C++: Yeah, but wait till they try to drink it. I hear it can be quite exceptional....
———
Slightly modified from this comment on a Reddit post that I found humorous — only I probably made it much less funny: https://reddit.com/r/...2 -
Do real interviewers (I mean those who are smart and have some experience) still ask questions like "what are your weaknesses"?
Dumbass, why the fuck should I declare, not just to you but also to myself, that I have some particular weaknesses? I know what I'm not good at, and I'll keep trying to improve. But unless my weakness is that I get a massive boner during team meetings, you don't need to know about it. I'm not telling you. Just know my strengths - that's enough. If you're just following a standard list of interview questions that you didn't even come up with, stop pretending to be an interviewer for heavens' sake.8 -
I have not researched it so I'm not sure if this is a widely known thing but I figured out a sort of hacky way to get a max integer value:
-Declare an unsigned int.
-Subtract 1
-Divide 2
That is your max signed int value
int main(){
unsigned int a = 0;
a--;
std::cout << a / 2 << std::endl;
}7 -
People who reuse variables.
Yeah, sure, let's just go declare
number1 = g * 86;
Oh and 10 lines down let's reset it
number1 = 0;
I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL DESTROY YOUR SMALL RAM 'ed THING YOU CALL YOUR COMPUTER.
Variables should be made for one purpose and one purpose only.2 -
I'm currently in the progress of deleting whatsapp and migrating to signal.
The hardest part of it is dealing with friends and family. I informed them about the incoming whatsapp-deletion tomorrow and the results were mixed. One friend told me she will not use signal, but i haven't talked with her that much anyway so... My mother asked me "can you not do this because i don't have space left on my phone?", my father told me "can you tell me about [...] before you go offline?", 2 people don't seem to care, and only my cousin contacted me on signal yet.
I have signal for 3 years now and even invited people to it, but i got the expected response "but all my friends are on whatsapp". Until recently i was the one with the shitload of messengers on my phone but some people can't be bothered to install a second one because i want to take one step (out of many to follow) to widen my privacy.
I'm really pissed by now and will declare any contact lost due to this as collateral damage.29 -
Amazing! My joke functionality worked and the server delivered it's content successfully to the client. The joke: malloc is wrapped to give that message and retry IMMEDIATELY. Expectation is that the computer that was already in panic mode gets even fucked up more because it's out of memory. My malloc is literally while((ptr=malloc()} == NULL) { show_warning()
;malloc();}. Imagine if it didn't give that warning, I would've never known that a malloc failed. Who checks their freaking malloc result? You should, but i do not see much people doing it.
The previous crash on screen is what happens if you're doing a get instead of a post. I just declare my server app indestructible btw. Ffs!
5 -
Before I decided to learn C, I had heard tell of pointers being "hard to use". Of course I thought "maybe so, " after all, that was basically the only thing I heard about pointers, "they are hard!".
And so, when I learned C, and I got to the part about pointers, I was expecting at least some trouble (I can't know everything) and it was just... easy? Maybe the trickiest thing was how * has two different meanings based on the context (declare/dereference) but that was easy too.
Why the hell is all I hear from people about pointers is that they're difficult?15 -
University, first Java practical lesson.
I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.
After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.
I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).
I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.
Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes. -
Ah fucking hell.
I hate it when my boss goes the path of least resistance to implement something.
Of course declaring a class property with the "any" type (TypeScript) is a fucking lot easier than to properly write an interface for it and declare the property with that type.
Thank god I have holidays, otherwise I would hatepunch his fucking monitor. Twice.2 -
How about creating a new programming language named "C slang"
highlights from the language:
1. variable declaration :
by default, all declaration are var, but inorder
to declare a constant, write:
cunt a = 15; // means const a = 15;
2. input and output :
suck(b) // input stored in variable b
spit(b) // output b
3. function declaration:
f**k <function_name>(parameters);
4. null or None will be replaced by sh*t
for example: if(node root == sh*t)....
any other sh**y recommendation will be appreciable6 -
!Dev
In Malaysia for some reason Chinese and Indians are considered as outsider. Some Malays are considering themselves are native (actually the Orang Asli are the native). Many politicians attempt to even startled a racial fight against the non- Malays. My country is operated by a closed system. Most Dutch , US companies are leaving Malaysia due to the unfairness.
Before this I worked in a Dutch company in Malaysia , where lately the company declare bankruptcy as my respectable boss told me what happened. Later I learnt, in order for a foreigner to start a company in Malaysia , a transaction of transfering have of the company assets and name under an assigned Malay man by the government.
The racism here is real and crazy. It is no surprise most Malaysian migrating to Taiwan, China Singapore , Thailand and some western countries.
I hate racism. Recently I heard news about western countries still have the hatred against Asians which I abort the idea of migrating there. But in my country Asians are hating other kind of Asians before for being different Asian.
May be I should just get my arse back to Mongolia (where my ancestors will be )6 -
I'm so fucking frustrated with my ex company CEO, this motherfucker made everyone move to Bangalore costing is employees a good chunk of their salary and this delusional ASSHOLE knew that only half of the expected funding was coming in January 2023 itself and they'd be out of funds by July/August, they let go few folks from the team, fired the entire marketing team and expected to make the product profitable. The only reason I had stayed at that time was because the product was interesting to build and the scale I was working with was crazy like 100k request per minute peaks and avg of 10k rpm. I left the company in August...
This MOTHERFUCKER hasn't paid out final settlement after leaving for most employees and he openly says to the folks who are still working there that paying us is not his priority.
I hope your Atlas cluster gets fucking deleted, accesses revoked and entire AWS setup goes down forever, bitch.
We can't goto courts because the company law tribunal needs atleast 1 crore (1.2 million usd) of unpaid dues to declare it insolvent in a years time..
This asshole deducted taxes from our salaried but didn't pay them to the income tax department for an entire fucking financial year.
What a cheating, delusional, sick bastard. And he's still not willing to sell off the company to pay off the debts and call it a day.
Aarrghhhh on top of losing 2-3k USD I might have to pay my taxes approx 5-6k USD to the govt to keep my records well maintained.
What a grade A delusional asshole 😡
If he won't clear the dues till December, I'm gonna launch a mass of social media posts and destroy his reputation so that he doesn't get one penny of VC funds in the future I'm gonna make sure of that...4 -
I wish I could declare variables IRL so I wouldn't have to repeat myself 6 times in a row before being acknowledged. Yes, the client left these fields empty, that's why the form returned an error as it should have. No, it's not the code's fault. For once.
-
The used option isnt preselected.
I declare this the worst flaw of the app.
Literally unusable.
0/10 stars.
Goodbye.
2 -
how i declare Coding session of the day to be over : when i see an error about an error that is not an error... :D
(hint: fatal: validation failed but when asked if it passed, returns true... ) -
I am in a situation where I am tired to give suggestions or implement any improvements to the company's app. I am in a situation where I will just do as told, nothing more, nothing less.
Regardless of how many suggestions or improvements I had made, the boss is constantly sceptically asking for "BLACK AND WHITE " proof. Sometimes, something does not require proof but cause and effect. As the application constantly prompts a DataType issue, which is a common bug in this app! I declare datatype the issue went away.
I wonder how this application can go further when they declare every variable as `var`, not using `const` for constant value, and redundant methods everywhere, most methods are not specific (in dart when you do not specify the method, the method become `dynamic`), a long list of nested if-else for something can be easily solved with switch case, etc.
So, today, right now, I will revert every improvement, and keep the original structure. If anything goes wrong, I know why it happens (deep down I will say "I told you so"). I am here to work for food, not to reinvent the wheel.
I'm so exhausted to the point where I will just go along and tell my co-worker "as you wish"
No more me suggesting.
No more me giving ideas.
No more me pointing the mistakes .
I will let them find out themselves is much better than I say it, just to prevent getting unnecessary hatred from them.
The best punishment to give somebody is to never mention their mistake let their ego do the job of consuming them into ignorance and asleep, and never wake them up. Let them commit the same mistakes repetitively until them realised there's no way to revert.5 -
Had to work with a lazy, stupid idiot who (literally) couldn't declare an empty string. Got in via nepotism and not only were there no basics but also no willingness to improve.
Something tells me that throwing someone out shouldn't be a pleasant thing to do but hell, I'm so happy that we can finally stop carrying that piece of dead weight and get back to pure coding without having to teach Programming 101 on the side.4 -
> Snow expected tomorrow
> Railservices declare a state of emergency
PSA for all dutchies here, check the reisplanner app
5 -
I'm just frustrated. I wanted a simple, statically-typed language that doesn't get in your way and offers GC. I can't find anything "just perfect".
- Go: enforces a style on you, nono.
- Rust: ownership system. I love it, but it's too low level for what I want.
- Scala: seems to have a bunch of useless and bug-prone features.
- Java: I hate how you have to declare and catch exceptions. Good practice, yes, but the code gets bloated with try-catch statements.
- C and C++: Too low level, no GC.
- C#: maybe? idk
I want to make a back-end for an app but I want it to be easy and fast. I need something with a gentle learning curve, not keep fighting the language. I'm between Java and Rust. Java's easier to use. Rust is rust <3, but it's hard, I haven't learned it properly and I just keep fighting the fucking compiler.39 -
I understand that some people have trouble with home office.
Well. I don't.
But at least have the fugging frigging respect and
1) answer my bloody questions, especially if I'm frigging nice and make a questionaire and notify you without a shitty meeting.
2) when you ask for an appointment during non working hours.... Then don't be fucking late and especially don't fucking miss it without telling.
3) And don't... Don't fucking give me a bullshit excuse like "yeah, I forget".
At least an honest apology....
I'm currently really close to murder people or call an meeting where I declare that waiting for appointments will be counted as work time.
(hint: this is the fucking sixth time in 4 weeks someone fucked up. And I'm really pissed)3 -
If there was an IDE which combines Xcodes debugging with Android Studios code completion, that would be an almost perfect IDE!
In Xcode you don‘t have to start the debugging process explicitly, you just set breakpoints while the app is running. Thats so much better than in Android Studio where you have to switch from normal running to debug mode.
In Android Studio you can use a function which is not declared yet and if you declare it afterwards, it is recogniced and can be completed by the code completion. Xcode does not know shit about undeclared funtions...5 -
Am I the only one who forgets to declare data types in Java after months of coding in only Ruby and Python? 😵1
-
Lua users, have you used moonscript?
It's a little language that has it's own interpreter or can be compiled down to Lua and it's absolutely lovely (currently using it with Love2d).
Of course, as with most things, what I love about it also royally pisses me off sometimes.
For starters local has to be declared for variables, unlike lua.
Otherwise the variable goes to _
Also note, that some tutorials literally tell you the opposite.
all variables are local by default
unless you don't declare them
then they go to _ (throwaway)
Some tutorials get this wrong too.
all variables have to be declared local
except tables. failure to declare a table WITHOUT a local will cause things like
table.insert to fail with "nil" values for no god damn reason.
No tutorial I could find mentioned this.
Did you know we call methods with '\'?
By the way, we call methods with '\'.
Why? Who the fuck knows.
Does make writing web routes more natural though.
Variables in the parameters of new are declared and bound for you. Would have loved to know this before hand instead of trying
to bind to them like a fucking idiot.
Fat arrows are used to pass in self for methods.
Unless you're calling a method. Then you use backwards slash. This fact is unhelpful when you're a beginner and dealing with the differences between the *other* arrow, the backslash, the fat arrow, and the fact that functions can be called with or WITHOUT parenthesis.
And on that note..
While learning all this other shit, don't forget parenthesis are optional!
Except when they're not!
..Like when you have a function call among your arguments and have to disambiguate which args belong to the outer call and to the inner call! Why not just be fucking consistent?
But on the plus size, ":" is now used for what it should have been used for in the fucking beginning: binding values to keys.
And on the downside, it's in a language thats built on top of another language that uses it for fucking *method calls*, a completely
different fucking usage.
And better still, to add to that brainfuckery thats lost in the mental translational noise like static on a fucking dialup modem, you define methods with the fat arrow. Wait, was that the single arrow or fat one? Yeah the fat one. Fuck. But not before you do THIS shit..
someShit: =>
yeah, you STILL include the god damn colon just so when you're coming from lua you can do a mental double take. "Why am I passing self twice? Oh right, because fuck me, I decided to use moonscript." It's consistent on that front but it also pisses me off.
A lot of these are actually quality of life improvements disguised as gotchas, but when you're two beers in to a 30 minute headscratcher it sure doesn't fucking feel like it.
Nevertheless, once I moved beyond the gotchas, it was like night and day. Sure moonscripts takes a giant steaming dump all over the lua output, like a schizophrenic alcoholic athena from the head of zeus, but god damn, when it works it just WORKS.
Locals that act like locals? Check.
Sane OOP? Check.
Classes, constructors, easy access to class methods, iterators? Check, check, check, check, check.
I fucking hate ceremony. Configuration over convention is for cunts. And moonscript goes a long ways toward making lua less cunty.
If you've ever felt this way while using lua, please, give moonscript a try.
You'll regret it, but in a good way!6 -
The ridiculous and shameful story of how simply "installing Windows" saved my hard drive from the garbage.
(Also update on https://devrant.com/rants/3105365/)
It started with my root partition turning read-only all of a sudden. Some quick search suggested that I should check the sanity of my hard drive, by running a SMART test, which failed of course. I backed up my data using ddrescue and ran a badblocks over the whole thing, which found around 800 unreadable blocks in a row. I was ready to bid farewell to my drive, but as a last resort, instead of the trash, I brought it to this place where they claimed they can repair the damaged hard drives by "surgery".
To my surprise, they returned my drive the next week, saying it is all well now, and charged me 1/8 the price of a new drive, with a refund guarantee if there was a problem in two days. There was a problem right there: I ran another SMART test which failed again, and also the faulty blocks were still unreadable! So I stormed the place and called for my refund, showing the failed SMART report. The only answer I would get from the staff was "Have you tried installing Windows?".
I usually try to be patient in such situations; I really don't like to declare publicly that "not everyone uses that stinky piece of rotten software you call an OS", but their suggestion seemed totally irrelevant! I got all types of IO errors all over the damn thing and they told me to install Windows. Why? Because this was the only test they would rely on. At last I managed to meet the "technician" there and showed him the IO errors: tried to read the bad sectors with dd and failed. He first mumbled somethings like "Have you checked the connector?" or "Are these the same blocks?", but after he ran out of bullshit, he said "Why don't you just install Windows first and see if that helps?" and I was ready to explode in his face!
"You test drives by installing Windows, just because it will make a nasty NTFS partition and probably does an fsck? If you shut your mouth for a sec and open your eyes you'll see this is a shit load of IO errors we got here: You can't install Windows, you can't even make an NTFS here, because it will try to zero-the-fuck-out the damn partition and it will face the same fucking IO error that I'm showing you right now in almost one single fucking system call!"
"I don't know this kind of test you are using. We have our own tests and they've passed successfully. So all I can do is to give you a Windows CD if you want."
"I don't need a Windows CD. I will just try to make an NTFS partition on the error spot and I will fail."
"Ok. Then call me when your done."
I was angry, not only because I felt they're just trying to avoid a refund, but also because I knew I've lost my drive. But just with hope that I could get my money back, I made a small partition over the error spot and ran `mkfs.ntfs` on it. I was ready to show the failure to the guy, but I looked more precisely and saw that "the filesystem was created successfully!" I was sure something is nor write. I then successfully mounted the new partition, write over it and read it again. I even dd'ed the blocks again, and this time there was no IO error. All of a sudden everything was fine.
I didn't know what happened. Maybe it just needed a write, while I'd just tried to read from those blocks. But anyway, I didn't called the technician guy again. I just thanked one of the staff there and said that my problem was solved. I then ran a successful SMART test and then restored my backup. Ridiculous like that.
I'm still not sure if my drive will continue to live with no more problems. I also have no explanation for what happened. (I appreciate any help on this https://superuser.com/questions/...) But I really like to see the look on the poor guy's face when he finds out that trying to install Windows just saved my ass!11 -
Turns out that one can use the ‘var’ keyword to declare a variable in Java 10. Finally Java’s being more like JavaScript 😊5
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Worst part of coding lang I love?
C# being case-sensitive.
Not a C# language thing, but I hate the vilification and anti-coding standard of not 'allowing' prefixes. Interfaces are allowed (ex. IUpdateCustomer), why not classes? Why can't I have a DTO and declare it a TCustomer and the zealots not scream "HE'S USING HUNGARIAN NOTATION!!! TAKE HIM TO THE STAKE!!"?24 -
everytime i buy a new phone ,i feel this sense of extreme regret :(
i bought a moto g 5g phone last year in feb, it was so good . it didn't had any out of the world cameras or some funky stuff, but it gave a decent performance and i couldn't want any other phone.
In October my mom's phone started giving issues so i bought a realme phone for her that was half my phone's price. i couldn't spent any mor e because otherwise she wouldn't take it. she accepted the cheaper phone and within 4 days sue was cursing it. the phone had decent specs but would lag in certain apps like zoom, and won't run some call recorder apps. at the end i swapped my phone with mom's since i didn't cared about zoom or the recorder.
now this shit realme phone's memory has gone around 60% full of my stuff, and its showing its limitations. this shit auto relaunches insta after a few minutes of usage, probably because its runtime memory gets short( 4gb 128gb device gets memory shortages. nice). its video quality is shit and camera also takes rarely good pics.
the worst thing i like about smartphones today is how they over optimise the ui. this insta issue and auto call recorders not working is simply because of the realme skin running over the stock android. i had similar issues with a xiaomi device i bought for my dad sometime ago. (fortunately my dad is more medieval so that crap has not came back to me :'/ )
so overall i am buying a 3rd phone in 17 months.
This time it's Samsung f23 and am worried that it's also going to suck. i was this 🤏close to buying a pixel 6 or even an iphone coz i can afford them.
but the regret of buying such an expensive phone that will need replacement in 2 years made me rethink.
the only android os that have suited me the best is stock and as of now only 2 companies are making it : google and moto(* it's 100% aosp with 3 extra apps but they can't say that, so they also state that they are not stock os) . one plus is also a brand that i have heard makes a good os . but recently i also heard that they have completely scrapped their os and using oppo's softwares . plus the amount of tickets we get for notifications not working in oneplus, am sure their optimization is extremely aggressive.
so everything between a moderate price phone ( that will need a replacement in 2 years ) to a flagship felt unnecessary to me, so i went ahead with a Samsung's shit phone. f23 has almost same specs as moto but it's again a heavily customised os. i wanna waste my money on trying a custom os and declare it shitty.
most of my friends that use Samsung are fan of it but they are also not very techy so i guess it suits them well. i am the guy who first installs nova launcher in his device, so let's see what it brings on the table. from the 3rd person p.o.v, i felt its screen and camera images to he nice whenever i used their mobiles, so let's see what this brings to the table :(7 -
Why do people think Perl's outdated?
Until Python/Ruby get a port of Keyword::Declare Perl's niche stays unquestioned.7 -
we were learning algorithm in college.
teacher: this is that and that is this, now when writing program we are not going to declare variables like a,b,c
me: omg, finally a teacher with same wavelength
teacher: we are grown ups, we will declare them as x,y,z
me: controlling my laughter with all the strength i had
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 -
So today, my friend (who is younger) has returned from a programming competition hosted by the district. The language used was Pascal. Before the competition my friend had been pretty confident about his skills of using Free Pascal, but after that, he has been different.
He came back in tears. I asked him what was happening in the computer room.
- Turbo Pascal.
I was stunned for seconds. Who the heck in this 2019 still uses an ancient compiler dated from the 1990s for the DOS operating system? And yet the competition's computers had only it installed. I think nowadays everyone learning Pascal, at the very least, uses Free Pascal as the IDE. I could immediately imagine how restrictive and frustrating was programming on such that thing.
- I couldn't create... dynamic arrays... so I had to declare two 30 000-element arrays (which was required by the problem), but when compiling... it said... the maximum heap size was 64KB.
It wouldn't let me use "exit(result)" (to return a function's result) so I wasted many minutes replacing them with "<function name> := result; exit;".
And many more problems.
Raise your hand if you think this is ridiculous.7 -
!dev
Today's world has gone so corrupt and full of crime that its almost impossible to be identified as honest/right, even if you are one. We thought that power of Internet would help identify the correct things but on the contrary, the internet is being used for declaring the wrong as right.
Thanks to sheer volume of duplicate data and social media's unverified content, we can no longer trust anything. Plus the effect of government and powerful people is so much that any big company you believe in would be forced to do whatever these big guns want.
Today if government wants to declare that "banana is a god fruit", they will simply generate enough news articles, social media tweets and rumours to do so. They know they can't proof it, but they can generate enough resources to change enough mindsets that what they are saying is not right but not completely wrong.
Even GitHub, which i once believed to have the ultimate method of preserving the truth is no longer a real thing. US govt has shown enough power to tell the world, that if we don't like something, then not even github is strong enough to preserve it
Our Indian government is also no less. Yesterday i heard the news that Gujrat government is slowly replacing the junior school's history syllabus to remove important historical events and replace them with chapters on hindu supremacy.
Currently i am not sure if its a real news but WHAT THE FUCK!?! They are going to erase the history? If the new generation gets the biased version of history, won't they grow up hating a particular commodity?
And forget the new generation, what about our generation? Did the books i read on history were also biased? Is this all political agenda why i like a particular commodity and hate the others? And how can i know if the facts i read are correct and truth? Who is the person verifying them and on what grounds is his decision correct?
Clearly no one can answer that because at the end, its highly opinionated.
If a newspaper A says "this guy is good" and newspaper B says "this guy is bad" , then after a 100 years, we would only believe the newspaper whose fossil remains in the museum and not the one which people believed to be correct 100 years ago.
And this is the problem. Corrupt people are generating enough content to make sure the biased version of history remains preserved while the original version gets lost with time.
I sometimes think that i should be buying a server deep below some glacier in the Antarctic ocean , hosting the real version of history. But there is no guarantee that government won't be tracing it back or make attempts to down2 -
That moment when js is like: bro wtf are doing? You don't declare variables types here.
then you're like: wtf this is right, it works. until you look at the js console and you grab a cup of bleach. -
So they have a meeting to declare -
No hike/promotions.
layoffs.
Then managers start talking about how good leader the ceo is & how nicely he managed covid situation.
Confused as to what happened here...4 -
So i wasted last 24 hours trying to satisfy my ego over a shitty interview and revisiting my old job's codebase and realising that i still don't like that shit. just i am 25 and have no clue where am i heading at. i am just restless, my most of the decisions in 2023 have given very bad outcomes and i am just trying doing things to feel hopeful.
context for the interview story-----
my previous job was at a b2b marketing company whose sdk was used by various startups to send notifications to their users, track analytics etc. i understood most of it and don't find it to be any major engineering marvel, but that interviewer was very interested in asking me to design a system around it.
in my 1.2 years of job there, i found the codebase to be extremely and unnecessarily verbose ( java 7) with questionable fallbacks and resistance towards change from the managers. they were always like "we can't change it otherwise a lot of our client won't use our sdk". i still wrote a lot of testcases and tried to understand the working of major features.
BTW, before you guys go on a declare me an embarrassment of an engineer who doesn't know the product's code base, let me tell you that we are talking SDKs (plural) and a service based company here. their was just one SDK with interesting, heavy lifting stuff and 9 more SDKs which were mostly wrappers and less advanced libraries. i got tasks in all of them, and 70% of my time went into maintaining those and debugging client side bugs instead of exploring the "already-stable-dont-change" code base.
so based on my vague understanding and my even more vague memory from 1 year ago, i tried to explain an overall architecture to that interviewer guy. His face was screaming the word "pathetic" from his expressions, so i thought that today i will try to decode the codebase in 12-15 hours, publish a cool article and be proud of how much i know a so called martech system design. their codebase is open sourced, so it wasn't difficult to check it out once more.
but boy oh boy i got so bored. unnecessary clases , unnecessary callbacks static calls , oof. i tried to refactor a few classes, but even after removing 70% of codebase, i was still left with 100+ classes , most of them being 3000-4000 files long. and this is your plain old java library adding just 800kb to your project.
boring , boring stuff. i would probably need 2-3 more days to get an understanding of complete project, although by then i would be again questioning my life choices , that was this a good use of my 36 hours?
what IS a correct usage of my time? i am currently super dissatisfied with my job, so want to switch. i have been here for 6 months, so probably i wouldn't be going unless i get insane money or an irresistible company offer. For this i had devised a 2 part plan to either become good at modern hot buzz stuff in my domain( the one being currently popularized by dev influenzas) or become good at dsa/leetcode/cp. i suck bad at ds/algo stuff, nor am i much motivated. so went with that hot buzz stuff.
but then this interview expected me to be a mature dev with system design knowledge... agh fuck. its festive season going on and am unable to buy any cool shirts since i am so much limited with my money from my mediocre salary and loans. and mom wants to buy a home too... yeah kill me3 -
1) A widely used compressing algorithm as my very own invention.
2) Master electrical engineering
3) An universal OS Kernel as my own invention. I will declare war on Linux and Windows -
The "Progress 4GL", now "OpenEdge" doesn't only allow you to abbreviate reserved words, it goes even further.
It allows you to abbreviate database field names.
Yup. Make a spelling mistake and you are messing with a different field.
Forget to declare a variable and there's a field in scope beginning with the same letters? It'll cheerfully assume you mean that field.
This is truly the WORST, most bone-headedly STUPID decision ever taken in the entire history of programming languages.
I defy anyone to offer anything worse than this. -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
Q. Why are the arrays that Chuck Norris declare, of infinite size.
A. Because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.7 -
Once again lost source of retoorscript. Wasn't that mad about it, there was some stuff that could've been better anyway.
I wrote a whole new interpreter in 48 hours or so.
It supports user defined functions and native functions that you can add to the VM yourself.
I did spend extra effort to make it faster than python. Who says python is slow never wrote a language.
It has garbage collection and it doesn't contain leaks.
Sad thing is that I have to write the string manipulation functions again. That's a lot of effort.
In the screenshot, obj is not existing, this is how you declare vars, just using it. Works directly as an object. It does keep all his properties if I would assign a value later to obj. Numbers can be property names for some reason.
It would be possible to write a webapplication with it. This requires a decent stdlib. A lot of work.
Other stuff that I'll still have to add:
- loops
- arrays
- if / else
The goal is to make the most easy understandable and easy to extend interpreter ever.
You can just do VM_register(vm, "name", ptr_to_your_function) to add any methods.
Ideas are very welcome
17 -
After working for weeks writing sophisticated Scala code, and building à team of react devs working on this for months, these fuckers come to me with let's go the cms route. I would like to sincerely declare, fuck this company and I hope it crashes and burns. I know start-ups are constantly changing and iterating but this is straight up nonsense.8
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is it necessary to have cherry picking a part of git branching/release process?
we have 3 branches : develop, release and master.
currently every dev works on feature as follows : they make a branch out of develop, write code, raise pr against develop, get it reviewed and merge back to develop. later the release feature list is generated, and we cherry pick all the release related commits to release branch, and make a prod build out of release branch. finally, the code is moved to master and rags are generated accordingly.
so the major issue with this process is feature blocking. as of now, i have identified 4 scenarios where a feature should not be released :
1. parallel team blocker : say i created a feature x for android that is supposed to go in release 1.2.1 . i got it merged to develop and it will be cherry picked to release on relase day. but on release day it is observed that feature x was not completed by the ios dev and therefore we cannot ship it for android alone.
2. backend blocker : same as above scenario, but instead of ios, this time its the backend which hasn't beem created for the feature x
3. qa blocker : when we create a feature and merge it to develop, we keep on giving builds from develop branch adter every few days. however it could be possible that qa are not able to test it all and on release day, will declare thaf these features cannot be tested and should not be moved to release
4. pm blocker: basically a pm will add all the tickets for sprint in the jira board. but which tickets should be released are decided at the very late days of sprint. so a lot of tasks get merged to develop which are not supposed to go.
so there's the problem. cherry picking is being a major part of release process and i am not liking it. we do squash and merges, so cherry picking is relatively easy, but it still feels a lot riskier.
for 1 and 2 , we sometimes do mute releases : put code in release but comment out all the activation code blocks . but if something is not qa tested or rejected by pm, we can't do a mute release.
what do you folks suggest?9 -
I think I finally, really, comprehend why secret societies have historically been created... I mean the potentially logical ones. This train of thought is logically terrifying.
I want a logic check.
I've been jokingly mentioning some of my totally true, practically useless in most scenarios, skills/specific fields of knowledge/ability under a moniker of 'extremely useful, assuming apocalyptic event' for years. Things like advanced knowledge of Coefficients of glass expansion, Fortran, various things that have caused friends to refer to me as MacGyver after the reboot came out.
In recent years, I've personally encountered several varieties of the ones defined by helplessness, self-victimisation, some version of a real disability... that theyve expounded into a personified personal nemesis-- to flashily battle yet never overcome, etc... the vast majority perplexing me as to why that's a valid form of life to them... it's not that they never consider some other way; the ball is just quickly dropped and never picked back up.
College?(not that I'm a big fan) they wish they could but so expensive... aide? The form was hard/confusing/past-due...
Lookup/learn something more indepth than a tiktok? *some self-deprecating bs*
Yet it's "I always wanted to do/be/learn X"
Shows like 'How It's Made' fascinate, but don't inspire enough for a 5min google query.
In the dev world its a clear, inverted pyramid-- one of the first posts I saw when I rejoined here was ostream's rant on Apple sucking because after they stop support/updates you "can't" load a different OS... ofc you can. But several comments down... no mention of that... i think it was @LensFlare who was the only one in ~15 respondents to point out the core logical fallacy.
Basic shit is totally forgotten... try asking some random adults what plastic is made from... or pay attention to how many people declare they have a gluten "allergy".
I get people frequently telling me that things im pointing out as differences don't matter because "it's just semantics"... semantics is literally the epitome of "significance", with roots in 'meaning' and 'truth'
Back to the main issue... We are in a world where DIY is typically something you pay more to do as a catered experience than actually learning anything, people destroy their own arguments hopes of validity unwittingly often by stating the arguement, get 'offended' or 'triggered' by factual statements, propagate misinformation and bastardise words until MW needs money enough to print a new version, likely adding the misuse as an actual definition and basic knowledge and the thought to actually learn is vetoed by the existence of google translate, the wisdom of tiktok and the pure brillance of troubleshooting every random linux issue you have from not knowing basic CLI and thinking linux makes you cool, with chmod 777 because so many other dumbasses on forums keep propagating misinformation. Ask them what 777 means, most have no clue... as they didnt consider googling that one before putting it in a terminal several times.
The number of humans that actually know the basic shit that the infrastructure of the world is built on keeps decreasing... and we aren't even keeping a running tally.
The structure of the internet has the right idea... dns- 13 active master root servers, with multiple redundancies if they start dropping... hell ICANN is like a secret society but publicly known/obfuscated... the modern internet hasnt had a global meltdown... aside from the lack of censorship and global availability changing the social definition of a valid use of braincells to essentially propagating spam as if it's factual and educational.
So many 'devs' so few understanding what a driver is, much less how to write one... irl network techs that don't know what dhcp is or that their equiptment has logs... professionals in deducated fields like Autism research/coping... no clue why it was called "autism", obesity and malnutrition simultaneously existing in the same humans... it's like we need to prepare a subterranean life-supporting vault and stock it like Noah's ark... just including the basic knowledge of things that used to be common/obvious. I've literally had 2 different, early 20s, female, certified medical assistants taking my medical history legitimately ask if not having a uterus made it harder to get pregnant...i wish i was joking.
Any ideas better than a subterranean human vault system? It's not like we can simply store detailed explanations, guides, media... unless we find a way to make them into obfuscated tiktok videos apparently on nonsense or makeup tutorials.11 -
Is it weird that I'm doing Electrical and Electronic Engineering but I HATE it and love programming? I know I should find a balance between the two but I just can't seem to. The worst part is that the syllabus hasn't been updated for eons so we are learning about outdated technologies. Ooh, and you can't declare majors until like the final year, I think. I could quit but it would break my parents' hearts, and we are not rich enough to afford a self-sponsored CS course. The worst part is that I'm not even a good programmer, I'm trying so hard to balance the two that I end up not being good at any.5
-
Rust should support explicit variance declarations. Explicit declarations are like the main feature of the language, variance is a critically important part of a type's public interface, and &mut-s that are never reassigned and should thus inherit the referee's variance are extremely common. If the language can't recognize this, I should be able to declare it with a single unsafe rather than constantly casting to and from 'static.3
-
Dev on my team likes to declare his variables types System.Int32 instead of int. Drives me crazy!!!2
-
today i almost had my first intentional 'fuck it, i declare this bug a feature'-moment. then it suddenly worked. i don't know whether to be happy for it to work or to be annoyed not knowing what the hell happened.3
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If there are 1000 a , 2000 b , 3000 c in a program, how will you declare them in C ??? Simple but high level aptitude question. Lets see who answers it right.32
-
I'm used to using PostGres, have been forced to use MySQL for this project. After a day of pain I would like to firmly declare: I hate MySQL.2
-
I was once working at very successful startup as lead android engineer, when another startup contacted me and offered me a better paid and "stable" position. 9 months later I woke up on the 1st of the month (1st June 2018), checking my bank account: No payment. I go to office, boss comes in : hey guys, we're bankrupt and we can't pay your salary.
Today still no salary, we're waiting now for court to officially declare the startup bankrupt and then Government will pay me my last 3 salaries, while my working contract is still valid for 3 months after company gets declared officially as bankrupt. We're being expected to work as nothing would be, with no money on our bank accounts (we've been even told to take a temporary loan) and that sooner or later somebody will buy us off. Oh, it would be also really nice from us if we would not be looking for a new "challenge". What'd you do?3 -
me: solve emoji ( _ * _ )
c++: I've name-o-phobia
java: I can't byte it
c#: It doesn't look sharp
rust: I' new here
......everyone is fighting....
.
.
python: declare _ not war 😎😎 -
Stupid timeline, there is this company I was working for. It was sub-contracted by another company to do a government project. Government only pays after you deliver in my country. It was a complex system I must say. We were to work with my buddy on this project...now the timeline we were given were not feasible since another company had been given the same project and were not able to deliver. We had a meeting and discussed with our CEO about the project timelines. From the workload the feasible timelines were around 8months if we were to work as two devs. My CEO said that was not going to happen.. The only timelines that was allowed was not more than 3 months. So we suggest use an existing system to customize. .The meetings with the clients were to be weekly demos. So we choose to go with google docs api for the document management part. We were working around 20hrs a day to be able to achieve the target deadline..we management to complete the project within the given timeline..on the commissioning date of the project we faced a government panel and this was my worst disappointment. At the point of login we had to use Google email for business to obtain the API. Just as I was logging in the guy noticed and yelled. "Is that google account ?" and I replied yes..and he said "no need of proceeding since it will be of no use and they won't approve the system". That was my lowest moment in programming. I thought I had done the best project in my life as a programmer only for stupid man to declare my project as null. I felt like calling him son of a bitch but I knew that would have made me more angry...i just walked out. I went to the toilet and all I did was cry for the first time as I can recall.. My question was I was doing weekly demos. Why didn't they raise any questions by then so as to change the entire system??? Later after that demo we went and discussed about the issue and there was time extension. I redid the project using 'open office' but just before deploying the system I got a better job. I wasn't feeling like working on that project anymore. I want to release that project as open source. Recently after one year they haven't yet deployed the system. They are calling for my help. And I don't feel like helping after the humiliation...
-
I feel like i am being forced to own a shitty module in our codebase.
It was developed by previous owners and they made a frankenstien monster out of it: Its one part of codebase that is very huge, does not follow the code standards, is making complex kinds of api calls and using very niche components. It gets bugs once in a while BUT IT WORKS.
It fuckin works and is one of the important steps before customer purchases a company product, so kinda part of revenue generation flow.
But this module was never a part of our codebase which we would usually touch. it was owned by another team, they would add enhancements , new features to it and fix the bugs .
When i joined the team, i was once asked to help those guys as a "resource" because they wanted to get something shipped and were low on bandwidth. So i just worked on one of the screens, added a small bugifx and voila, task is done and am back to other part of the app.
But now out of random, they decided to pass on the ownership to ur team, gave a small KT which didn't really explained a lot of actual codebase, but rather the business functionality of it(and that too poorly). And my TL is saying that i should own it because "I worked on that module before"
I don't know how to deal with this frankenstien monster. Earlier a bug came and i was out of my wits to understand why this bug came. their logging is weird and not explaining a lot, their backend devs help provide aws logs but those aren't very helpful either .
the best i could do was declare that their technical approach is wrong and we should modify it, but that idea was quickly squashed.
ITs quite possible that company isn't going to change this module or add any new features further. but everytime a bug would come, i would be getitngfrustrated looking at their frankenstien monster5 -
language confusion is a mess. as a python newbie i am very focused on learning for the last two weeks. now i am not even able to declare my php-variables properly and end up getting errors the whole evening.1
-
in BASH you cannot reassign associative arrays (i.e. string:string maps) to other variables.
If you have created an array as variable "arr", doing
```
declare -A arr2
arr2=${arr}
```
will not give you var2 as a usable assoc array. It will kind of transform it into an indexed array
In fact working with assoc arrays in shell is a bitch.3 -
So I have a lease car through work, but I forgot my fuel pass one day and I needed to fill up the tank. Then I had to send a letter with the receipt to declare the costs to this address... Wondering how that's gonna go lol
2 -
I hereby declare Apple entered the bouba of the year shortlist.
No 120hz? Seriously? Not even 90? Not even for pro max model?
Series 6 Hermès looks good though. If a new MacBook will also be good, it’ll be good-bad-good so no bouba. But if they fucking forget about 12” again — fucking behold.19 -
Recently I completed a whole year in programming. Holy jebus, I have no idea I could make it through.
I started thinking I was "decent" at this because I had taken a half dozen courses in python plus some algorithm logic in school lol @ innocent me
I'm an applied math student and I hereby declare I was the most incompetent dude you'll ever see.
I've been through so much shit I didn't realize I had a shitty boss, because one would think it's normal for a beginner to approach everything in programming because I was told to do so. Full blown restful apis, stateful redux react apps with responsive CSS using Google's material design. Don't forget to dockerize everything and deploy the swarm on Amazon cloud all the while having to run integration unit tests, make sure all the rules on your nginx are correct we don't want exposure do you know how to write a visualization tool on JavaScript so we can 3d-fy some x-ray prints and good luck balancing tight schedules with your school and girlfriend ye right lul
My manager would ask me to deliver new shit to an app I was developing mostly by my self in react (I barely even knew what RFC or ES6 was by the time I started).
I got fired from this project because I couldn't deliver by myself what 5 experienced dudes could (debatable, but still... Cuz they couldn't when they took over. Boss wanted to rewrite the whole app in a week and a half)
Turns out I got called back by the same company but to contribute in another project. This time to automate some shizzle with python.
Feelsgoodman but I want out ASAP can't stay sane for longer -
c++ tip: modern cpp standard libraries have std::optional, which allows you to declare a variable that may or may not have a defined value:
std::optional<std::string> optional_string;
(I've started a journal of interesting c++ things I have learned: https://github.com/AlgoRythm-Dylan/... ) -
Ok so Sonar had a rule that you should not throw Exception. Rather you should always throw a specific types or catch them...
I don't understand this. So if the underlying function throws 10 different types of exceptions then the calling function should also declare it throws 10 different types rather than just Exception?
Assuming it isn't in a position to handle them?2 -
JS: dont worry, we got this simple decode function build in.
Node: yeah we had this build in but we took it out, now you have to require the module first and then declare it and then you can use it! -
Just curious, but how long do you guys spend programming a day. This isn't counting working time although you can include working time just declare it first!7
-
Well, it's complicated. There was two of them and they were both great but which one I should declare as the "best boss" depends on who was actually the boss. There was always a power struggle between the two of them. He was always there for us in good times and bad. He knew when it was appropriate to lay down the law and when to let things slide. She was often away but we knew that behind the scenes she was the one that kept everything afloat. We looked up to both of them, they both deserve credit.
If I have to choose though... it was definitely Tony. -
I learnt C a while ago and didn’t use it for A semester. One day I needed to write some C code for a small Arduino project and I spent 20 min remembering how to declare an array.3
-
Timesheets and Formations:
Every week, I'm supposed to fill out a form detailing how much time I've spent on which projects... I'm a research engineer assigned to a single project, so I'll always fill every day with 8 hours on the same project, because if it yields to less than 39h the website gets mad at you (even though I'm paid on days, not hours).
I get why it's here, I just don't get why it's my responsibility to declare which project's budgets should be liable for my salary.
As for the formations, they're always these extremely slow paced, completely obvious type of courses that borderline murder you with boredom. Yes, I know, corruption is bad, can I get back to work? -
Question for iOS Swift guys:
Since Implicitly Unwrapped Optionals are now dropped for a while, and everything is an optional, hiw can I now declare property that has no value and intializer will not make fuss?
I used to do this:
class Bullet {
var calibre: Double!
}
This way I can avoid initializer which gets useful when there are properties which hold complex types, which get useful when writing tests.
If I remove ! Then compiler complains.
If I put ? Then My code becomes crap of guards and ifs to check for optionals.
Really hate this Optional thing in Swift. Half my time when I jave an issue is related to optionals.
Btw,
let x: Int! = 10
let y = x, yields y: Int? -
Make an ASP .NET application for job interview take home assignment.
Try to use docker with it.
Runs fine through Visual studio (not code)
I declare is working and submit to organization but say it can run through docker-compose up.
I get reply that even the basic command doesn't work.
Turns out visual studio does some magic mapping or caching under the hood that I couldn't find in any config in the project and somehow gets it to work, but when running without Visual studio it doesn't have that magic context shit and thus running through terminal fails.
Obviously a lot is my fault for assuming what works through IDE would run through terminal without testing, but I will be angry with VS to make myself feel better >.>2 -
Does anyone here use Payoneer here?
Let's say (hypothetically speaking) that a dev gets paid through Payoneer, and does not declare that money in taxes in their residing country (and that's the deliberate choice of using Payoneer in the first place - perhaps taxes are so high and makes the business not worth it).
That country does not exchange information with USA (which is where I would assume Payoneer accounts are). The customer that is paying through Payoneer is US-based.
At which point might the developer be accused of money laundry or similar by Payoneer? Even just for avoiding taxes, if anything
Of course, this is a very hypothetical question, none of this is actually happening.4 -
val true : bool = isFrustrated(me : Human)
1) Honestly fuck SML. Who's goddamn idea was it to make a useless fucking programming language that does absolutely nothing relevant unless you're trying to learn recursion. Who's fucking idea was it to not be able to even have side effects. And who gives a shit if you can explicitly declare the type of variables on every single fucking line that's what comments are for if you really need it. All this is aside from the fact that nobody ever has been like "OH UNMUTABLE TYPES? WOW IM SO HAPPY THIS IS SO USEFUL". At this point I feel like SML is basically a DFA - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING USELESS
2) Aside from that, who's idea was it to duplicate two classes. There's 15-122 (Principles of Imperative Computation) and 15-150 (Principles of Functional Programming). So far the ONLY fucking thing different is we learned about work and span in 15-150 - OTHER THAN THAT ITS LIKE TAKING THE EXACT SAME COURSE. BUT AGAIN. So then I have to fucking sit in lecture and pay attention for that tiny bit of information that is new amongst the giant cesspool of information that isn't. BECAUSE I ALREADY LEARNED IT.
Oh and did I mention that both classes are required to graduate as a CS major? Fuck me.
Thanks devRant for helping <3
Edit: We are 4 weeks into the semester so you'd expect we'd have gotten into the new stuff by now right????5 -
in vb.net i can declare a void function:
Declare Function some_func& Lib "some_lib.dll" ()
then try to assign its return value to a variable:
some_return = some_func()
and get no errors during compilation, not even a warning
but in runtime it produces integer arithmetic overflow exception
in what way it is not even a warning?4 -
Fuck XCode. Worst IDE ever. Forgot to declare namespace for function in cpp file and it can't even underline it. And in addition to that, the slowest IDE!!!1
-
!Rant .. I need some quick help and didnt know where to go.. so fellow ranters please help...
So I have created an sql trigger which is supposed to add a kill to a doctor whenever one of his patients changes state to "killed" . But I dont know how to just get the one row that is updated. As it looks now : The doctor get patientKilled ++ for every patient he ever had before as well... How can I solve this ?
USE [AD17_Hospital]
GO
/****** Object: Trigger [dbo].[PatientKilled] Script Date: 2017-10-21 19:51:32 ******/
SET ANSI_NULLS ON
GO
SET QUOTED_IDENTIFIER ON
GO
ALTER TRIGGER [dbo].[PatientKilled] ON [dbo].[Patient]
AFTER UPDATE
AS
BEGIN
declare
SET NOCOUNT ON;
UPDATE Doctor set PatientsKilled+=1
FROM Doctor d
INNER JOIN inserted p
ON d.DoctorId= p.DoctorId
where p.PatientState='Killed'
END4 -
MySejahtera is not a good appliaction at all! They just use Sqlite or Shared Preferences in the app for keeping the data local. (Just local?) As soon as you clear cache or data, The user no longer exist! Like wtf ?
So I decompile the app and review the source code, the code is not even properly obfuscated(That's why I can read it). There's a part of the code on a for loop went
```
for (int i = 3; i < array.length(); i++)
{
for (int j = 2; i > array.length() *2; j ++ )
{
onScan();
}
}
```
Which is unacceptable!
First , why nested for loops?
Second, instead of declare 'array.length()' multiple times why not declared it global for once?
No wonder the initial state of the app is buggy as hell.8 -
Trying to figure out how the below code works. Everything is straight forward. The code works as I ran it in qbasic in dos emulator.
But for the life of me I cannot figure out wth cap1 and cap2 are. I debugged the code and saw values being set, but I cannot figure out where the data is coming from. I assume it is somehow related to the function declarations. Been 20 years since I did anything with qbasic. Maybe some other old fogie can tell me what is going on here:
DECLARE FUNCTION integrate (sample, cap, tc)
DECLARE FUNCTION differentiate (sample, cap, tc)
COMMON SHARED accumulator
CONST pi = 3.14159
SCREEN 9: CLS
FOR timeConstant = 10 TO 600 STEP 100
accumulator = 0
FOR a = 0 TO 22 STEP .01
wave = 0
FOR h = 1 TO 10
wave = wave + SIN(a * h) / h
NEXT h
lopass = integrate(wave, cap1, timeConstant)
IF wave > lopass THEN
trigger = 1
ELSE
trigger = 0
END IF
hipass = differentiate(trigger, cap2, 20)
PSET (a * 30, 50 - wave * 20), 15
PSET (a * 30, 50 - lopass * 20), 14
PSET (a * 30, 100 + timeConstant / 4 - trigger * 15), 2
PSET (a * 30, 270 - hipass * 20), 15
NEXT a
NEXT timeConstant
END
FUNCTION differentiate (sample, accumulator, tc) STATIC
fsample = tc
leakage = 1 - EXP(-2 * pi * 1 / fsample)
capAvg = leakage * accumulator
accumulator = accumulator - capAvg + sample
differentiate = sample - capAvg
END FUNCTION
FUNCTION integrate (sample, accumulator, tc) STATIC
fsample = tc
leakage = 1 - EXP(-2 * pi * 1 / fsample)
capAvg = leakage * accumulator
accumulator = accumulator - capAvg + sample
integrate = capAvg
END FUNCTION
The output looks like the image.
10 -
Moral dilemma :
You inharit a task from your team expert (big ego there) he estimated this before sprint as hard 10 days (with overtime).
You have finished it in a very relaxed 4 days (I agree a lot of code was written but that's life).
Now there is the dillma :
If you declare it done by this time you are the rockstar but you getting a very influencing enemy you made him look like a fool...
If you wait do a psaudo work for the remaining time . It's just laying.. And there is 50% your cover will be blown....
What would you do?5 -
I hereby declare the following the official anthem of Trintellix:
[Chorus]
I can make you feel better oh, if you let me
I can make you feel better ooh, if you want to
I can make you feel better oh, and you know you will
If that's what you want boy
Then you know where to find me
[Verse]
However you're feeling
I can make you feel better
Whatever you're thinking
I can make it all clearer
Don't pretend you know that you feel it
Try so hard, but you can't conceal it
Whatever you feel inside
I can make you feel better
If that's what you want boy
Then you know where to find me
So
(SOPHIE — Bipp)1 -
Do declare all the variables you're going to need at beginning of the function, or right before you're going to need/initialize it? What do you prefer.3
-
"being gifted is a curse. You are f*cling crippled, you believed you were gifted, but you have been crippled the whole time."
I never could agree more to these words (healthyGamerGg, a youtube therapist specialized in people with issues related to videogames)
If you read my last rant you may in fact know i have a lot of issues with the implications of our jobs and truth be told, it all boils down to my iq.
Or better: to the fact i have a decent skill for abstracting stuff (iq is so freaking generic)... It can be a blessing while solving issues, but it feels awful when you realize that no matter the amount of money, you will still need something else to be happy the first day of work.
Sometimes I really wonder if I am an a-hole, stupid or if i think these 2 things to deny the fact my reasoning is correct.
On a side note table top games are very easy to enjoy: as soon as I sit at the table my brain goes: "the game is gonna be very boring if you play normally, at the best you are gonna learn a new strat, at the worst you are winning and it'll be just an ego jerk off... What if you play stuff you feel like to play and enjoy the ride and the conversation without planning to win?"
Except cards against humanity and yogi. Those two must be won!
(Yogi is a game where you play cards which give you restrictions e.g: "keep an index on the tip of the nose for the rest of the game" or "place this card on your head for the rest of the game" you lose as soon as you fail any of the cards you played or if you declare you can't draw)4 -
Worst / best feature of any language:
Lack of / requirement of strict / dynamic / weak / strong typing. Just typing. Typing typing typing just typing.
Having to specify the type in C/++/#, Java/Kotlin is so annoying and delays the project so much by having to do declare weird classes with 3 or 4 fields just because you need it in this tiny line of code.
Not having good type support in JavaScript and Python is a pain in the eyes when you can't find what type each variable is, or when you pass a wrong argument to a function, and when you do, it shows the definition for the type in a .ty or.pyi file and not the definition itself which you have to find elsewhere. Spent half of my uni exams trying to decipher the type while it could've been a piece of cake if you just knew the type.
Love / hate relationship 😝1 -
Uhhh, you know what? With bogosort, I can confidently declare that programming is totally like gambling now. I mean, you shuffle and shuffle, hoping for a sorted result, just like throwing the dice and crossing your fingers for a lucky outcome. Who knew coding could be this much of a gamble, right?7
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