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Search - "cup"
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
C#: That's not a cup of tea.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar in it.
C#: That's not a cup of tea with two tea spoons of sugar in it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk in it.
C#: That is not a cup of tea, with two teaspoons of sugar and milk it.
Me: Hold my cup of tea.
1 week ago my boss forced me to ship a new feature on friday afternoon. The feature broke our application for about 2 hours. After this I bought him this cup.9
Monday morning cup of coffee with my new mug. Definitely my favorite thing on my desk at the moment.8
When our sales guy came by for the 200000000000th time on a day to boast about how good he advised someone on a sales related matter.
Mate, we're Linux engineers and currently trying to fix shit up so why don't you get yourself a cup of shut the fuck up.7
Lately my mornings have started out with sitting on my front porch with a cup of coffee and a smoke for about 15 or 20 minutes scrolling through devrant.
Probably why ive been in a better mood these days31
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !28
New Guy Day 2: He has deleted the git repo on the project he was assigned to 4 times, written a recursion formula that crashed a server, & knocked my coffee cup onto the floor.
I messaged my boss telling him I am going to hide the body in his trunk.8
The typical devRanter
1. Uses dark theme of IDE and devRant app
2. Hates his/her clients
3. Likes Arch based distros
4. Checks his/her ++'s count or notifications after publishing a rant
5. Hates facebook
6. Associate the morning with a cup of coffee
7. Can't do any job when there are no headphones
8. iPhone vs Android? - fuck, they both are good/bad
9. Every time googles git command to remove a local branch
10. The best VCS is git, but I never used any other VCS25
The inside of my coffee cup looked too pretty,had to stop to admire and click.
Wish my phone had a better camera.54
During my interview, I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit.
Me : No, I just always give my 110%9
GitHub is down. House about to be flooded by a hurricane. Data Centers about to be flooded by a hurricane. Dentist appointment today. ... you know what's going well for me today? Coffee. I have a fucking cup of coffee.11
FUCK YOU TOO COFFEE MACHINE!
HANDING ME YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHITTY WATER BACK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED BREW SOME FUCKING COFFEE TO FUCKING MAKE ME AWAKE WITH ONE FUCKING HOUR OF SLEEP NOT PISS IN MY CUP!
I'll just go back to bed...5
When I'm right in the middle of a difficult piece of code/algorithm and a colleague gets me a cup of coffee without me asking
Considerations when looking for a tech video course:
5%: Does it have good ratings
5%: Is it priced reasonably
90%: Does the narrator have a smooth soothing voice with an intonation which keeps me dreamy & enchanted, yet with an energized articulation, like a cup of Jasmin tea with clover honey on a dreary Sunday afternoon.
The content may be very good, but if I have to sit through 30 hours of material, you better tickle my ears the right way.10
Me - okay mom im going to sleep don't bother me.
Mom - okay goodnight sweet heart.
Me - *puts on headphone , have a cup of coffee and begin to code*13
So after I spent around 1 hour 35 minutes debugging a client's problem to end up with finding out he had no actual internet without him saying so I think I can finally catch a break and relax..
I get an urgent call that a computer that needed tending to was down and needed to be up by tonight
I rush to the office of the said computer only to find the one of the worst things imaginable.
I can see the computer clearly shorted and lo and behold, the CD tray is out with a MUG.. yes you heard that right.. A MUG FULL OF TEA sitting on it..
I literally scream at the employee asking him what a mug was doing there and instead he calls ME DUMB saying that if it wasn't intended as a cup holder what was its use?
SERIOUSLY?! ITS 2017 HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT GRASP SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS THIS20
Every developer dream:
- Cup of coffee
- Fast internet connection.
Really, I am able to not see the light again with this.21
Manager asked intern to bring coffee during meeting
Intern came back with an empty cup and his mouth full of coffee which he emptied into the cup
Since then, I have not seen the Intern at office.10
Lets create a story:
One day I was coding on my laptop, and I decided to get out to get a cup of coffee...70
OK morning rant from yesterday.
Get into the venue, connect my surface to the dock, keyboard won't work.
Try more USB ports, try another machine, keyboard (corsair k70) is totally broken.
Disassemble keyboard, someone asks me a question, turn around and knock full coffee cup over my surface book.
Now I need a new laptop.4
To write 1000 lines of JS, I need 1 cup of coffee.
To write 100 lines of documentation I need 100 cups of coffee.
For some reason time stops when I open confluence9
My laptop just took a full cup of coffee and didn't blink an eye.
Thank god for spill resistant stuff that works.
Unfortunately I now how to make a new coffee, so it's not all good news.16
Vacation in Delphi
After a basic cup of java, I wanted to go to the c and meet Ada, who cured her common lisp with a batch of elixir. On the way, I had a swift Smalltalk with Pascal, who has a brainfuck, because he is a wyvern enthusiast.
I also found a shell with a perl in it, but it had a scratch. This reminded me of my friend Ruby, who has a pet python and loved a good scheme à Shakespeare.
I then started my laptop, which already collected rust on its logo of a maple, and browsed the web for groovy songs. I found a song by Julia, performed in a very high octave in F#.4
This is what I found in the logs:
3280546 I had a cup of tea and now it's fixed
9daaf6c copy and paste is not a design pattern
958ca5b It compiles! Ship it!
a9edf8d LAST time, Masahiro, /dev/urandom IS NOT a variable name generator...
438072f 640K ought to be enough for anybody
1fb839b Too lazy to write descriptive message
d6ce0c8 Ugh. Bad rebase.
a00b544 Programming the flux capacitor
49715cb Fix my stupidness
4babf07 Do things better, faster, stronger
49b3a7b SEXY RUSSIAN CODES WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL
12c7b55 formatted all
2658c87 and so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
2376c89 - Temporary commit.
a83220a I honestly wish I could remember what was going on here...
3347007 work in progress
3382b4c well crap.
109748a Glue. Match sticks. Paper. Build script!
c3f025e Useful text
70394e7 Who knows WTF?!
0d78f14 breathe, =, breathe
5344e39 removed tests since i can't make them green
8a3a6bf better grepping
2777cc4 first blush
cf620ff Continued development...
9591c19 Too lazy to write descriptive message
767e0cd Some shit.
763602a Yes, I was being sarcastic.
Got stuck on a project for a whole day. Just got out of bed, start my computer, got a cup of coffee and in 5 minutes I found the problem.
Just amazing what a well rested body can do.7
Maybe if I get a "world's #0 programmer" coffee cup people will think I'm under qualified to hack their Facebook...3
How to make a cold cup of coffee:-
1-make a normal cup of coffee
3-after coding you'll forget that you made coffee
4-drink it cold
5-feel bad for not drinking it while it's hot4
A late rise up *check*
A good cup of tea *check*
A nice breakfast *check*
A rainy day today *check*
A bunch of time for reading
a book and playing with
python and elixir *check
Nobody seeks me for
tech support *check*
Did I die and go to heaven?3
I fucking hate Internet of Things, I think that it's a ridiculous idea to connect things, that work perfectly fine, to the internet.
The 'convenience' you get is minimalistic and most of the time non existent.
It is also often insanely insecure and expensive. The burdans it brings with it most of the time just outweigh the positive sides of it.
Now today happened something that made me hate it even more. Today was the First Lego Lego (Lego competition with ev3 robots, etc.) and one part of the tournament is to find a solution for a given problem. This year the general topic was hydro-dynamics and so the problem was how you can reduce water usage and 'save' water.
Our idea was to make reusable coffee cups and give them to the local coffee shops. One time use paper cups use take around 400ml water when produced) Basically you buy a cup once for 5 bucks and you get your coffee served in it. After drinking the coffee you return the cup to a local cafe and get a chip as pawn. When you buy your next coffee, you give them your chip and get it served in another reusable cup. The are at the moment already around 1000 cups going around the city.
Now this was our idea and we got ranked third. I am not too mad about our rank but what really drives me fucking mad is the team who ranked first.
Their idea was to make a pump (using an arduino) and a humidity sensor which you stick into a plant and the pump pumps water when the plant is too dry.
However (you probably guessed it already) they went a step further and connected it to the internet. They also made a web 'interface' for it so you can control the pump with your smartphone / computer / smartwatch / tv / whatever the fuck is connected to the internet nowadays 'thanks' to the iot 'revolution'.
So it is a pump that waters your plant when it is too dry BUT it is also connected to the internet.
WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO BE CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET.
"Oh look it is connected to the internet, wow awesome, oh it is also 'smart'. oh cooool. Nice I don't have to water my plants anymore"
A funny thing is that one of my friends built basically the same thing without connecting it to the internet. He built a small box with a pump and a humidity sensor that measures if the dirt is too dry and then waters the plant. It checks every few hours and the also is a small 16x2 LCD and a knob that you can turn to control how much water it should give the plant each time it waters it. He built it and I programmed it for him. Works perfectly fine and I don't see any reason why there should be any need to connect something like this to the internet.
Anyway we got ranked third, they first. I guess we should connect our coffee cups to the internet in some way ...18
On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.
Cup is there because it expresses my mood.12
What I do when I sit down to work:
Get a cup of coffee or tea,
Sit down open up some music; rock if I'm feeling okay or slow jazz if I'm feeling anxious,
Open my text editor (Atom, I love it so much),
Open git desktop,
Look at what was my last commit,
Remember where I left off,
Look blankly at code for a few minutes,
Then I pull up phone and start writing stupid shit like this on devrant.11
When you're so tired that you forget to put coffee in the coffee maker and get a cup of hot water instead.3
Are you done yet?
Is it ready for review ?
When can I check?
We are wasting time..
How long will it take ?
Are you saying this will take 2 days to complete?
Pls raise a cup with me if you can relate.
Add yours too.8
So I tweet that I'm about to upgrade El Capitan to Sierra. I get a reply that with a good cup of ☕️ it's an easy exercise.
I reply "Coffee? I was hoping for something stronger", to which I get a reply: "You're not upgrading Windows". 😂5
It's time for another teacher story. So grab a cup of tea and listen.
We were casually talking about Arduino programming because he told me he teaches this in another class.
Teacher: it's so sad that i can't use my java code on the Arduino. I mean the Arduino uses java so there shouldn't be a problem.
Me: *internal* HOLD THE FUCK ON
Me: you know that the Arduino uses c and not java, do you?
Teacher: but the Arduino can do java commands! How do you explain this!?
Me: because java uses the c-syntax and it's more of a coincidence that they're named the same way?
Teacher: huh. Ok. But C# doesn't use it, am i right?
How can someone this dumb be a programming teacher 🤦6
I must be dreaming .... Honestly! I am with a client that knows what he wants and has no problem to express it in clear words. They understand my tech talk and talk back in tech as well. We are on the same page regarding best practises. They envy my work and have really good ideas and express constructive criticism. What is going on here? I must be in a parallel universe or something?
Okay, one downside... Coffee is not free but a cup is 20ct, which is quite alright imho anyway. Oh, the even bigger downside... Things have been so constructive that my time there is almost over since shit got actually done in the most efficient way ever!8
Python and a cup of Earl Gray Tea and I feel like captain Picard commanding the Enterprise. The dark theme of the IDE helps, too.
Welcome new side project.5
- No I wont give you a ballpark estimate.
- No I wont grab a cup of coffee to discuss your idea
- No I wont check out your existing app/website
I'm a professional and my time is actually what I'm selling. If you want me to spend my time on you then you better spend yours to persuade me.
Send me a brief, your research on competitors, your roadmap, a deck, whatever. I'll probably won't read any of it. But at least I'll now that you you mean business and you value and respect my time.7
Published my app and now watching Google analytics as if it's the world cup .
Cheering for the users as they go from screen to screen ,📣
And when they checkout .. feel like we scored ⚽ !3
My smart watch just reminded me to get my lazy ass out of my chair and move some.
I picked up my coffee cup, drank a sip.
That satisfied it.
Lazyness : 1 - Technology: 06
Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.
Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?
Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.
Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.
On the way, around 6.30 pm...
Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris(Search in Google, It is the most delicious chat) and defeated me.
Wife - What's so difficult in it?
Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.
Wife - I can easily beat you.
Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Wife - Let us have that competition right now.
Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?
Wife - Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...
After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.
The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*
The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.
Moral of the Story...
*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎5
My Aunt works for a company for which I did a website. She shows me a plastic cup with a pretty design and a qr code on it and asks me if I knew anything about that. I declined and she continued to tell me that her boss claims I can connect the qr code to some location on the website. Of course I can't. Now they have 2000 of these things lying around the office with a stock qr code that is invalid7
This is how most comments in code are. Why are you telling me it's a coffee cup, I can fucking see it's a coffee cup, who owns it and why is it right here? Are you putting coffee in it or something else?6
Today I've been mocked by a fucking coffee machine.
So I was at a small train station, everything was already closed except for a small coffee machine
Dumb I, for whatever fucking reason, decided it'd be a great idea to get a highly overpriced cup there.
Now, the fucker made me the drink but instead of giving change, it started "shooting" coins in my direction (there was no flap on change box)
As I'm picking up my change, this abomination of a machine performs a cleanup, spitting some shit into my drink
I couldnt drink it obviously .. threw the overprices drink away, bought another one... Got shot with coins again... Whata pain... Just to figure out... There's no more cups 😭😭
It made the drink into the tray...
I simply hope no one bashes my head against the wall for this for this...
I don't like coffee!
There, the words spilled out of my mouth! I simply don't like coffee.
I remember the first time I drank coffee, I was trying to study for finals. A few moments after my lips departed from the cup, I got a really bad headache and stomachache. How do you coffee lovers handle that?
Needless to say, that was simply not a pleasant night for me. I despise coffee and coffee despises me.25
There I was, thinking I’d never be the kind of idiot who spills a cup of coffee over his laptop.
Little did I know I was eventually going to be a premium member of that club.2
This morning I got up a little earlier, and managed to make myself a proper cup of coffee in my favorite cup4
> Go down into the kitchen to make some tea for my morning routine
> Prepare some water in the water heater
> Throw a tea bag, a bit of sugar and a spoon in my cup
> Take the cup without the water and leave towards my office
> *10 mins pass*
> Want to take the tea bag out of the cup because the tea should be ready now
> That's the moment I realize that I'm a fucking idiot
I seriously need some days off6
Our first programming class was about how to prepare a cup of tea, how to write the pseudo code of this process, then how to write it using any programming language... It was the greatest lecture ever...5
Yesterday my boss saw me getting my 4th cup of coffee and asked: Isn't that a bit much?
Me: Didn't you know? Programmers run on coffee and pizza.
Him: I allways thought it was cigarettes and (something I don't remember...)
I don't understand people who watch football at all... Yesterday at around 4pm France time, France was playing against Denmark I think, so my boss had the brilliant idea of making some kind of party so everyone in the company would watch that. He brought beer, make up, food and so on.
Guess what, pretty much all my coworkers stopped working on their programming projects and went to watch it, I was the only one who stayed in my office and worked on my project, yeah, i'd rather finish my PHP project than watch a bunch of brainlets running after a ball.
Boss was nice enough to bring me a drink though lol13
I am on the fucking verge of throwing my coffee cup at a coworker.
I am sitting in an office with someone who has to vocalise everything that he thinks.
It started this morning, I was trying to solder the board on my headphones, because there was a cable that had come loose, and every fucking time that I start, some shithead phones, and then a few minutes later, he comes in and talks shit. Burnt myself.
Now I am trying to maintain some code, and every fucking time I start typing and getting into my code, the need to talk has to fucking arise. I have literally thrown the last 45 minutes out of the window because I cannot fucking concentrate. Nothing helps. Throwing a coffee cup will probably just inspire more to talk about.
Phenomenal, another motherfucker just came into my office and decided that it is decent to use the phone to phone his buddies.
Fuck this shit.10
Used to build custom computers... Used to get calls from pissed off people that their cup holder was poorly designed and broke off... One guy even called about it a second time... After we explained what this was for and replaced the part.... SMH10
It's all about the little things. Like getting my first cup of coffee of the day while watching all the AWS alarms trigger one by one.
I found something even more effective than coffee on hard Mondays mornings. A fresh cup of technology, just the right quantity of silicium, transistors and sensors with a pinch of cloud connectivity.9
I'm such an idiot.
Spilled water on my MacBook today. Not that much water, but the cup landed right in the middle of my keyboard.
Worst part is I was gaming with my sister and didn't want to stop. So I wiped it off and shook it out a bit and kept playing. A bit later the screen started flickering and eventually went black.
Finally my brain turned on and I switched it off, shook out some more water, and set it up to dry. Just hoping it's not too late.
At least the drying setup recommended by the internet is pretty hilarious looking.
Now we play the waiting game. They say 72 hours before turning it on again. Seems a bit extreme. Will there still be moisture evaporating 3 days later? Not sure I can wait that long to see if it's toast.
Such an idiot.16
The first paid work I did was to write a program to calculate something mathematicaly for a senior. And my payment was a cup of tea and cigratte
So, I was gonna rant about how it can be difficult to design event-based Microservices.
I was gonna say some shit about gateways APIs and some other stuff about data aggregation and keeping things idempotent.
I was going to do all this but then as I was stretching out the old ranting fingers I decided to draw a diagram to maybe go along with the rant.
Now I’m not here to really rant about all that Jazz...
I’m here to give you all a first class opportunity to tear apart my architecture!
A few things to note:
Using a gateway API (Kong) to separate the mobile from the desktop.
This traffic is directed through to an in intermediate API. This way the same microservices can provide different data, and even functionality for each device.
Most Microservices currently built in golang.
All services are event based, and all data is built on-the-fly by events generated and handled by each Microservices.
RabbitMQ used as a message broker.
And finally, it is hosted in Google Cloud Platform.
The currently hosted form is built with Microservices but this will be the update version of things.
So, feel free to rip it apart or add anything you think should change.
Also, feel free to tell me to fuck right off if that’s your cup of tea as well.
Attempting to access my colleague's NFS directory on his VM, don't know the VM's IP address, hostname or password:
- 2 minutes with nmap to narrow the possible IPs down to ~30
- Ping each and look for the one with a Dell MAC prefix as the rest of us have been upgraded to Lenovo. Find 2 of these, one for the host and one for the virtual machine.
- Try to SSH to each, the one accepting a connection is the Linux VM
- Attempt login as root with the default password, no dice. Decide it's a lost cause.
- Go to get a cup of tea, walk past his desk.
- PostIt note with his root password 😶
FYI this was all allowed by my manager as he had unpushed critical changes that we needed for the release that day.6
meditating naked drinking a cup of coffee by holding it with my toes...
=> solves all the bugs 10/10 times3
My coffee to water ratio in a cup is starting to be 1/2. I'm worried in the future I will be eating coffee not drink it anymore 😂4
My place of work just put on the World Cup live stream. I'm not even a huge fan but it looks nicer than my current code, so I'll live in denial for a bit2
Two days ago...
I was happy, building out the network in a new lokation.
Suddenly my phone just doesn't want to stop ringing, from all the other lokation calling in that they can't connect to HQ.
Then HQ calls, we don't have internet, nothing works. The one guy on location who has access to the server room enters and finds all the servers offline and a couple of breakers blown.
Turn on breakers, servers won't boot properly.
Me in a taxi and hurry to HQ, to help boot the servers.
Afterwards I find out that one of the bosses spilled a cup of coffee on his desk, shorting the circuit.
Apparently he is on the same breaker group as the servers!?! What the actual fuck!
At least now the other bosses are like; yeah, we need to do something about that3
that moment as a sys admin when everything is in peace and you have nothing to do.
I usually go outside and get me a nice cup of coffee at a local cafe
today its a Latte Machiato with white chocolate4
When you take a coffee break and a spider 🕷️randomly decides to invade your beverage ☕...
🕷️: Look at me, I own this cup now...14
Where I currently work (and have done for 10 years) we were recently recruiting for another dev, and one of the other devs and our line manager were running the interviews.
After 3 or 4 failed interviews they decided to test the questions on me... I got 3 out of 10 :(
My argument was (and still is) if I get stuck programming I can google, or you can teach me new stuff. And I can make a good cup of coffee2
Decided i wanted a new job, got an invite for a cup of coffee at a great tech company the same day. Bizarre.1
Here's a tip to caffeinated-beverages lovers.
People often make this mistake with coffee.. They take a cup of coffee after lunch and expect it will make them productive and concentrated immediately. That's BS. Wait for the pee.
Digestion takes ~27% of your body energy molecules [ATP], so you will anyway be sleepy.
When you ingest a cup of coffee you ingest a warm beverage. The warmth will most likely make you sleepy and the sleepiness might last 5 to 15 minutes.
Caffeine in the coffee acts as diuretic - it makes your kidney filter blood more aggresively. As a result 20-40minutes after ingestion you will want to pee.
When you want to pee it's an obvious sign the caffeine is working. Now you should be productive.
Brain [cerebrum] uses glucose molecules for energy rather than ATP, like the rest of the body does. So for the best effect:
- have lunch
- have coffee with sugar during or right after the lunch [do not drink coffee if your stomach is empty!! Ulcers, gastritis, refluxes - that's your future if you do]
- wait ~30 minutes or until you pee
- go to do your work.
This way you will not be working sleepy and your brain will have enough pure glucose to operate on [sugar is just 2x glucose molecules bound together]21
It's funny how all the pretty girls on LinkedIn want to have a cup of coffee with me after I updated my profile to match my current position. Previously not even bots on Tinder would chat to me.26
So I'm feeling a lot better today than I did yesterday. This shit's finally starting to give me some peace.
In the middle of my (first) morning cup of coffee, feeling pretty good about life for once. So I figured..why not do a face reveal?
This picture was like 5 months ago, but the only difference in how I look now is my hair being a bit longer15
Been a while but I'm back with fresh rants.
If you look in my history you will see support wanted us devs to start paying for writing bugs. Now the release presentation has passed but we're still in crunch time because we can't put clients onto the new version yet. And in the meantime our coffee machine broke. So support has started to manually pour coffee, which was actual real nice of them.
Now yesterday I'm in a hurry and the coffee is out so I decide to pour a quick cup for myself with the leftover grounds. When I'm back at my desk I get a call asking if I just made coffee. I'm like yeah something wrong? Proceed to get chewed out for being selfish and that they see how it is with me, then get hung up on before I can even explain.
So yeah not only is my company too cheap to get a new machine, the lack of one causes drama.
Today however our network guy, who was present when my colleagues asked what was with the weird phone call, brought in his own machine and let me have coffee from it. Meanwhile suport can keep their crappy manual pouring. And I don't need to go into their office anymore.3
Look im all for conservation and helping the environment and shit, but why can't people do it without being self righteous cunts? Like seriously.
I just saw an ad on Instagram of someone getting a drink and they're all "I don't need a straw hue hue hue" and then proceed to drink from a metal straw shit.
THE WHOLE FUCKING CUP IS PLASTIC.
Stop being a self righteous cunt if you're gonna do contradictory shit like that. Like seriously. You using a metal straw ain't changing shit whenever you've got a whole ass cup that's plastic and that you're gonna throw into a trash can.9
Got a coffee grinder from my grand parents. Pretty old school, but I like it!! 😍
Just brew a big cup of coffee. It just tast delecious. ❤8
Articles 13 and 11 pass exactly during the world cup, so news channels won't report on it coz they're too busy showing Ronaldo's goal for the 376th time10
Stop asking which Linux distro is best. Seriously there is no "best" one. Arch is best FOR ME. Debian or Fedora might be your cup of tea. But I have great news for you, they are all FREE and there is free virtualization software you can try them on. Stop asking a stupid question that only gets opinionated answers and flame wars and go try them for yourself.
Also, while I'm on the topic. Ubuntu, Ubuntu Mate, Ubuntu XFCE etc. are all the same distro, they just have a different DE (desktop environment for you noobs). It's like on Monday I wear a suit but Tuesday I wear shorts and a tee shirt, it's still me, I'm just dressed differently.10
Like I mentioned in a previous rant, I’m (or was) a coca-cola addict. Coca-cola has caffeine, right?
This happened a tuesday. I forgot my mug at home (I wanted to draw it a bat🦇) so I bought a jumbo coffee at a store near my office. I drank it, and then, all my partners went to the kitchen for coffee. I went with them and I refilled my cup.
I was working on my code, and suddenly I felt a strange sensation on my chest (I don’t think I could describe it, it feels like when you have intestinal problems and gases, but in the chest). I didn’t give it importance. One hour later I started trembling. I googled my symptoms and I found I had a coffee overdose 😱 But how? I drank a lot of caffeine in soda, but this only happened to me with coffee. This lasted 5 hours 😓
You, specially the most experienced devs and coffee addicts, how can I drink more than 1 cup of coffe per day without trembling? Btw, I have no heart or pressure problems, so I don’t know... this happened because I don’t drink much coffee?23
To register for Facebook's hacker cup.
Fuck you 1:
I need a Facebook account
Fuck you 2:
I need to enter my address and phone number mandatorily. Because they'll send me a t shirt if I win one. It's not like anyone would not win a t shirt or not want one right? So fucking slurp away at all their privacy data any way.
Here's my address for you facebook
No 666, fuck you street, privacypolis, fuckington offville.4
Aaah! Another cup of stupidity on this sunny Friday! 🍵
I just received a csv file with usernames, emails and passwords in plaintext for 1500 users.
Apparently that's what it means to "integrate with our database"5
Prior to becoming a dev, one of my numerous jobs was working at Quiznos. They would often send me outside in the cup costume where I would dance around like a fool.
People would throw things...
What was your pre-dev "career"?12
a bit late to the party but here goes my coffee mug. Always motivating me to the do the right thing.2
Often when I struggle with a complex programming task or get stuck in a bug, this cube and a big cup of ☕ helps me to get back on track.
But when nasty legacy PHP code or WP templates hits the fan, only a mental institution can help...5
C: Keurig Coffee Machine
N: *Turns on surge protector and keurig*
C: WAIT, PREHEATING
N: *Lifts handle to put Keurig cup in*
C: LOWER HANDLE TO PREHEAT
N: Fine, I'll just wait.
C: FILL WATER TANK
N: Wtf I just sat here for like 3 minutes and now you tell me? *Fills Tank*
C: WAIT, PREHEATING....
N: *Waits another 3 minutes*
C: INSERT CUP
N: *Inserts Cup*
C: *Makes coffee in 1 minute*
C: ENJOY COFFEE. WAIT, PREHEATING
N: *Turns off surge protector before finished preheating*
Is this really nitpicky shit? I feel like I have to babysit it through the entire process.11
I like to joke around when I am working. I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ffs you should be able to laugh at really complex problems in stressful situations. How else can you remain sane writing thousands of lines of code just for an e-commerce site or so someone can post even more cat pictures on the Internet.
If you can't laugh and enjoy what you are doing, you might want to rethink what you are doing with your life.3
This article (based on a series of real tweets) is a hilarious description of the current state of the Internet of Things 😂
Aaaaaaaand I'm back! I'm sure nobody cares but here you go enjoy this picture of the best cup on the planet.11
Work from Home was not the cup of tea for most of us before Covid-19. 😱
Some really love working in the comfort of their home like your oh-so-lovely HR and some are scratching their heads like your beloved Project Managers.😂
The Designer is loving his space. 😍
Tester is enjoying some good naps in between the working hours. 😴
and... What do you think programmers would be doing? 🧐
Well.. well.. well.. Programmers don't really feel any change. Coding then and Coding now. 😎
How's your Work From Home Going?6
For every developer, who lives a nocturnal life.. the toughest job is baby sitting for a week..
At least for me.. Already missing the 3 AM idea cracks and coding..
Waking up at 6am is not my cup of tea and getting the kids ready for school.. I would rather prefer to work all night...
Another 3 days to go...11
When i started uni almost 2 years ago i made a bet with myself to finish the first year without drinking even one single cup of coffee.
Right now i have realized that i almost finished my second and i drank 5-6 cups in all my life.7
So in near future I'll buy myself some new nice headphones to hear amzing music alongside coding and the help of my new expensive DAC.
They problem is that I need to voicechat and the famous Modmics cost at least 50€.
So I made my own Modmic for 0€ out of an old headset (free) and a suction cup.
Me: Hey can you make another cup of coffee like this one for my friend?
Rust: Sure, but you know it's expensive, right? Why don't you just let your friend borrow your coffee?
Me: Alright, but I have two friends.
Rust: No problem, you can share it with as many friends as you’d like, but only one of you is allowed to drink it.
C++: Hey wait! I’ll gladly make a cup of your coffee for your friends! I’ll even let them share it! Heck, they can even share yours!
Rust: Hey C++, you know copying coffee is expensive.
C++: Of course I do, but he didn’t define move construction or assignment, so he implicitly wants a copy!
Me: [To my friends:] Hey, let’s just go over to the Python coffee shop.
Rust: [To C++:] Hmph. The baristas at that place will even let you declare that a muffin is a cup of coffee.
C++: Yeah, but wait till they try to drink it. I hear it can be quite exceptional....
Slightly modified from this comment on a Reddit post that I found humorous — only I probably made it much less funny: https://reddit.com/r/...2
Dark IDE theme. Putting my phone away. Cup of coffee together with a bottle of water. My great headphones. Either a raw hardstyle or a euphoric hardstyle megamix. Locking myself in my room.6
Me: hmmmm it's a pain in the ass building my program and having to rebuild it everytime I want to swap to my Chromebook (going from x86 to ARM64), I really wish they could develop an OS that is essentially a VM so you would compile once and have the OS' VM later do the heavy lifting
My brain: hey Alex, that sounds like a great idea, you deserve a coffee for that!
Me: yes I do... Wait... Coffee... Cup of jo... Java.... WAIT! This sounds like what Java was intended to be!!!!!
My brain: oh dear god... Time to fucking bury this thought to never be discussed again!!!!!
What's the lesson to learn here? If it looks like Java, sounds like Java and acts like Java, beat it over the head and bury it 6 feet down :-37
At the first few meetings, told us they are giving sponsors to World Cup 2018 and we should totally talk about it loudly on media.
Then when we submitted our plan, they said things have changed and they no longer can mention about World Cup. We had to redo everything.
Now, they blame us that our service quality is so bad that we should learn from *some refernce* company. Said company is only talking about their sponsorship for World Cup.
Bought smallest package from us. Demand services greater than our largest package.
Gave us an information of a name spelled in "Barbu". We used that spelling and used it for various tasks in past few weeks. All approved by client.
Blamed us we are giving such a poor service that we cannot even spell "Babu" correctly this morning.1
My worst experience ... and best, was when the company I worked for sent me to teach OOAD to the faculty of the Mathematics and Computer Science department of a University in Pennsylvania. There I was, a guy with no degree teaching a group of PhD's the fundamentals of OOAD. Imposter Syndrome? You bet. Nervous? Yes. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, and when I picked up a cup of water on the first day, I had to put it back down because my hands were shaking so badly. I could handle a room full of developers, but for me, this was a whole other league. As it turned out, the professors had a blast, and gave me great reviews, but that first day of a five day class was a doozy. After that, I knew I could handle anything.3
Started working as a developer about 2 months ago and on the first day of of work I was tought how to make coffee.
I couldn't understand why is coffee so important to the everyone in the company. I didn't drink the coffee for the first 2 week.
Now after many sleepless nights spent coding i then realise why the people worship the drink so much.
People get very pissed when they go to coffee machine and find that there is no coffee then the last person to have a cup is going to be shouted at and at times even get insulted.
Now coffee is my fuel and cant do much without it.7
When the house is one fire, and all the devs are running in circles, trying to fix it, and you overhear the PM (while prepearing your 8th cup of coffee) complaining on their phone, about how hard he/she has to work, because the devs fucked up... priceless.2
Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.
Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"1
New year is the only +1 I do not give a fuck about. All it means is I am one year closer to death, so I will smoke one more cigarette after the last, one more cup of coffee with far too much sugar, and I will keep coding one more line after the other, and frankly it is just to distract me from the fact that there is always another +1, one more person to hate, one more word spoken, all so I can get to through one more year. So fuck the new year because there will always be another. But I won't always get a +1 on a rant.5
Bought cup noodle to save time and hassle. Forgot to turn on the electric kettle. Pour the water into cup without checking temperature. In the end, have to cook with the pot anyway. What the **** am I doing?5
Overconfidence is striking again. Some companies are really begging for it... Found this cup in the kitchen of a client. And it is the slogan of an external contractor. It says: this network is unavailable for hackers. I think this is worth at least a triple facepalm1
A frontend dev asked for my assistance in writing a tricky helper function, told him i'd be back in 5, as I was just heading out the door for a cup of coffee.
Came back a little later, maybe 10 minutes instead of 5, and he says:
"Nevermind, I solved it by installing plugin XYZ v4"
Checked out the codebase for said plugin afterwards, and discovers it's around ~30MB of code, and adds a shit ton of "premium version" ads to the backend.
YOU FUCKING TWATFACE! YOUR LAZY FUCKTRUMPET ASS COULDN'T WAIT 5 MORE MINUTES?!!
I NOW HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF REWRITING YOUR ABYSMAL DISASTER, OR DEAL WITH THIS PIECE OF SHITWARE..4
When coworkers think the kitchen is a place to have personal conversations and close it's door - obnoxious when you want to get a cup of coffee in the company public place .....5
Can you overdose on strong coffee? I feel sort of lightheaded on and off when walking and heart feels like it's beating a lot... after drinking a large cup this afternoon...12
My first rant! Hi everyone:
When stuck, a little nap (20 min or so) and a cup of coffee (3 or 4 liters 😂) usually do the trick.5
My coffee cup! Came home one Christmas and mom had been cleaning up a storage room. I've given it too her when I was young, but she never used it because it was ugly and heavy. She wanted to throw it away, but I took it, and it has been on my desk from the first day I started my job.3
I feel like I have started to grasp the very essence of software development
For 2 weeks now, I have either slept 3-1.30 hours per night or not at all
And I can't drink coffee without spending 2 hours in toilet after each cup
The new CTO promised us better coffee in his introduction meeting. Honestly felt pretty trivial and part of his used car salesman pitch to us.
A month goes buy and he replaces our shitty drip Starbucks breakfast blend coffee with ... Starbucks coffee machines. I shit you not these things have touch screens on them. So I tried two cups of each bean type and ... this stuff is really really bad. It's literally worse than the drip brew. It's so fucking terrible I have trouble finishing a cup.
God damn it!8
So the football world-cup tip app I'm using with some mates got hit by a DDoS attack yesterday.
The only question I have is who the FUCK DDoS'es a motherfucking tip-app?! What the hell is there to gain?! It doesn't even involve money, just tipping for the hell of it!1
Never had full time mentors, just some great examples from great people:
Some years ago, I was new on the job. They sent me to see a colleague for the "transfer of knowledge" as he was leaving and I had to take over his projects.
He greeted me with a big smile and said:
"Oh, look, I just spilled very accidentally a cup of coffee on my pc so I've lost all information. Only thing I remember is that you have a call with this project today at 14 o'clock. I'll be gone by then but don't worry, just say we are late with delivery and it will be fine. I hope you all the best with your new job!"
I'll always remember him. I learned the value of improvisation, the utility of a cup of coffee and how to take things easy.
I always dream of doing what I learned from him sooner or later.5
>Sitting at desk pondering over what is wrong with code.
BRAIN : "maybe we will think better with /another/ cup of cofee?"
BRAIN : "damn now im too jittery to think about code. Maybe if I relax woth some music/meme hunting ill be able to focus"
BRAIN : "Damnit i spent 2 hours on 9gag and not coding. Gotta get back to this bug squashing but im now so tired. Maybe some cofee will help me think"
I was asked to give estimation on an app, that:
1. No one has a clue what it does, even though there is v1 on the store with almost 10% of functionality working
2. No one has a clue what should be in the new rewritten version
3. We are already behind schedule and I have no clue why, I've just been told that
4. They need UI flow that shows how the app will work with static data and when API's are ready (because ya know, writing code is easier than creating wireframes and modifying them accordingly) I will then need to link app with API as if it is as simple as drinking a cup of water, especially that: 1. What is water? 2. Do I have a cup or is it given, and 3. Relax bro, drinking water is like eating a burger, piece of cake!
I'm not sure what to do, not enough that it's React Native but also spaghetti requirements that no one was able to answer my simple question: What is the app responsible of?
P.S.: Some say I must rewrite the old app ONLY, no new features, others say: Turn the new web portal into mobile app, I say: WTF is going one?6
At the beginning of programming the languages were complex and you had to think like a machine to do what you had in mind. Now code is art, it's like a poem. That's why some people (including me) when drink a beer or a cup of wine do better code.
I'm freelance and I work from home, despite being repeatedly told however my friends have no problem calling in for a cup of tea and a chat in order to stop that work. As a result, I've got to work late to make up for the lost time they've caused me during the working day.
I'm sick to death to explaining this to my friends who just don't understand that I "work from home," and that "I am not home from work."9
After weeks of feeling useless at work as being the "available tech support", but not actually doing anything, I was finally assigned a new learning task, which is looking into Prolog
Doesn't feel like my cup of tea, but at least I'm putting my head to work again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5
How does everyone here like their coffee?
For every cup I drink, it should be espresso (0.35 litres) with three cubes 'o sugar and a little shot of milk.11
I wonder why code doesn't work
Look blankly at code for 1 hour
Notice I put underscore instead of dot.
Be mad at myself for making a function name yaml_load that I confused as yaml.load.
Get a cup of tea, kinda depressed but glad the issue is resolved.
It's easy to see what a person in my company do just by looking at their clothing. Money-guys with blue shirts and shiny shoes, tech guys with washed out jeans and a t-shirt with print. Then there's the bosses of tech guys, a hybrid with washed out jeans, sneakers and a poorly fit blazer for meetings. And then we have the designers, with their neatly trimmed beards, wearing a scarf all year round. And at last, project managers.. kinda like the money-guys but with sneakers for better mobility, and their right arm locked in a "holding cup of coffee" posture as they move from desk to desk like vultures overlooking others work.
And they say there is no dress code1
At one point, my laptop's hard drive went down. Turns out, windows had written some garbage data to the mft, and fucked up the file structure. Luckily i was able to restore a big chunk of the data using recuva. I cleaned the disk after saving the most important files, cleaned the disk, reinstalled windows. All good so far. I put the laptop's drive and my recovery disk into my desktop to put back the files. During the install in forced me to make an account, which I wanted to delete. So I ran "rmdir /users /s" and went to grab a cup of coffee. Turns out, cmd was pointed at my recovery disk instead of my laptop disk. My whole backup wiped.1
Stressed? Of course not
I just got in the lobby of the company that I have a job interview in, I was making a cup of tea for myself and accidentally added carbonated water instead of cold water
A "different" taste sure2
Just 1 cup of cappaccino can make me stay awake the whole night :/
2 nights no sleep , not gonna get anymore caffeine tonight !3
My mum and I was picking up my nephew the other day from school, and he brought back some snacks he got from the school with him,
There were some cakes, chips, and a white paper cup like the one they used for soda, I assumed it was coke or something, so I put it away on the cup holder by the car door
Not long after on the way home, he reminded us of that cup, he wanted to show us what's in that cup,
My mum thought it was a result of some kind of experiment he did at school,
He said in broken bahasa (he mainly speaks in english, so his indonesian's always jumbled with english words)
"No, it's not"
"It's um, umm"
"It's the banana that turns to water"
I was confused, my mum's still convinced it's some kind of experiment,
I thought it's a banana juice,
To our surprise...3
Why is java called java?
Because by the end of the day you'll need a strong cup of coffee to retain your will to live.1
That time when you are coding and you recieve your free stickers. This is going to be an even more awesome day!
Thanks a lot team dev rant! Greetings from Argentina.
PS: yes, that's a Mario cup ;)4
Me when considering grabbing a cup of coffee after arriving at my desk in the morning: "Do I want to feel more awake or do I not want to have to poop all day?"1
Friend : Hey man lets watch world cup at 5.
Me: Sure why not, we will have a great time
Me: Leaves office early tho having bugs to fix
Me: starts watching the game at frds place slowly pulls up my pc
Frnd: Are you even watching the gamean, it was a goal now , did u see that , come on man
Me: ohh yeahhh goallll, goes back to vim
Game ends and he switches off the tv and stares at me for 20 mins,
Me: what hpnd man did the lights go off?4
Sorry, I have to say this. I get patriotic at times.
Asian Cup 2019, we Vietnam had made it to Quarter Finals after defeating Jordani in the penalty shots.
I'm happy. It's stressful watching the shots. It's stressful watching the match but I'm happy. We're happy.
And now back to homework.2
The coffee/food room on my floor is absurd.
On day, the Keurig machines, microwave oven and convection oven all disappeared. Turns out they were owned by some employees and when they moved to an other floor they took their stuff with them.
In the caffeine-deprived panic that ensued, a bunch of other employees pooled together some money and went across the street to purchase new applicances.
They now charge us 5¢ for each packet of sugar or milk/cream cup. And they announced it with a passive-aggressive poster with an angry dog on it.2
what are the odds of walking with a cup of coffe and a drop falls off right into your pocket of your cowboy jeans and wets a bunch of the money you have in your wallet..1
I was making coffee this morning when one of my managers walked up and asked me if I could make a cup for him too.
I was like sure, anything to make you happy. (Maybe you'll lessen the amount of work I have to do today 😀)
I finished making both the cups of coffee and the brought his over to his desk. He drank some and then almost spit it out. He complained about how the coffee was not dark roast it was medium roast, and he could tell the difference and I should have known that.
I was like "well if you're going to complain about how I make your coffee go make your fucking own". (I didn't say that out loud though, I probably would have been fired!)9
Last time I had a cup of hot water instead of coffee. This time I have 2 cups of coffee on my table. Can you remind me what's life?
When you give your self a mini heart attack by knocking over an empty water cup while coding.
I can't count how many times I have done this over the years.2
The Cup Saga
My cause is valiant. My warrior's hearts were true... And quite frankly we are sorry if we have offended you.
Background: been missing my favourite cup at the office. I brought said cup from home like many of the devs do, we have our preferences you know? For 3 weeks I have been drinking mediocre coffee and the endless quest for my cup perused... I couldn't find it.. It was just missing.... Where could my trusty cup have gone... Its been with me since my second job in 2014, and its gotten me through so many late nights and early mornings, the reward of the perfect ratio... Turns out... Someone took it because... Well they liked it and habe been holding on to it ever since.... Why? No one really knows.. But I have my cup... And I intend to guard it... Since unlike the other cups it cannot be left in the cupboard.. It has to be defended.... Valiantly we recovered the cup... And tirelessly we will guard it now.. Sweet cup of mine...9
When you decide to take a brake from coding and open reddit to laugh a little, then suddenly your adderall kicks in along with your 3rd cup of coffee and then realize 4 hours have gone by and you have not done shit but laugh at memes.... 🤦🏼♀️4
London feels like a calmer version of New York or my native Chicago. I'm starting to get tempted to work here.7
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.8
When I saw a blog post said you need more than 1 cup of coffee to get AWS configuration done, I didn't believe it. Now I know... it's true. very true. It takes forever to make use of your config. By the time it's done, you already switch to something else.
Family: why are you always so grouchy and grumpy
Me: because you make me get up when I'm in the flow of coding/studying
Family: oh sorry we understand we'll try not to do that again
Skip to 30 mins later when they repeat the same stuff and offer a cup of tea or coffee... as if just one cup of tea/coffee will do the trick.2
Then (for devs)
y''="cup of coffee"
"bug in production which requires urgent fix"=y''''1
Suffering from concentration, meaning my coffee is cold. I can’t drink cold coffee, it makes me retch. That’s the second cup today I’ve let die on me. It’s pissing me off now.6
I am on my way home from an 8.5 hour non-stop call with one of our software suppliers...
How to you guys handle situations like that?
Consentrating became very difficult at the end to be honest.
And if it my teammates would not have been there (they gave me food, sth to drink and filled my coffee cup) I would have snapt after 4 hours...
The only thing I feel capable of doing for now is to listen to extremly loud music9
Our main client asked us to create internal totalizator for upcoming soccer world cup. One of variables was to support all employees (about 10k) from Europe without performance issues, ok PHP seemed enough for this task.
So, we almost finished implementing it and had a call with the client. He told us that now we need to support all employees around the world (over 100k).
And they don’t even have a budget for it...5
That moment when js is like: bro wtf are doing? You don't declare variables types here.
then you're like: wtf this is right, it works. until you look at the js console and you grab a cup of bleach.
France qualified to the finals of the world cup and people are already losing it here. I mean I understand the excitement and the "patriotism" but to the asshole who is racing down the street in his car blaring his horn at 12 in the night waving the French flag, hope someone kicks a football up your ass.4
Perfect setting for a Rainy Sunday, just coffee cup missing!
I really hope you could have been able to hear "baarish lete aana" song in background (only for Indian devs)!2
You know it's time to get some sleep when your coffee starts making weird unexplainable hissing noises.
Everyone in the offices ended up looking at me why I was holding a cup next to my ear...1
> The programming playlist on Spotify produced by Johan Brook while wearing over ear headphones
> A cup of tea produced by my wife in my large cup
> Keyboard lighting set to dark purple
> Monitor back lighting set to dark purple1
I think every office should have a moving barista... His sole job will be going desk to desk and offer a perfect cup of coffee... Thing about it now... I think the barista needs to be psychic... So that whenever I feel like having coffee he will magically appear with a cup coffee...7
So for Father's Day I bought my dad premium coffee (Single Origin, Now Bottle Voyager pack). Very expensive even compared to Starbucks...
We brewed a few but they taste like crap. I thought he was doing it wrong. So today I dropped by the store and brought myself a cup that they made to see how the pros do it...
Well this is what I got for $5... And it also tastes like crap...
So now my question is do we actually like drinking coffee or non-carbonated sugar water that we call coffee?42
I was working on an android project this morning.I started android studio.
I went and made a cup of coffee and had it,came back still gradle was building
I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I'm never going to actually learn everything about programming. I feel like I'm just going to learn some new API every time I want to do some thing. I feel like I'll lose the ability to do basic programming. I feel like I need a cup of coffee.3
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6
I'm currently trying out Apache Cordova. Feels like playing minesweeper for the first time.
But as always a debugger rushes to rescue me:
Ripple :: Environment Warming Up (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.)
Yes, I'm gonna make me a cup of tea now.1
Don't stay awake for too long
Don't go to bed
I'll make a cup of coffee for your head
I'll get you up and going out of bed6
What is the cheapest and closest to "decent" cloud computing provider you've come across? I'm currently using scaleway ARMs -- all thanks to someone posting scaleway's name and comparing server prices to a cup of morning coffee :) . It's OK, really can't complain (although it's somewhat silly to sync ssh keys on-boot only IMO). Is there anything cheaper with no less quality?6
for me, the most interesting project I''ve worked on was 4 years ago for a beer company.
it was a facebook app developed in HTML (not html5), jQuery & jQuery hi, php, imagick, ffmpeg, & YouTube library.
for the Euro Cup, users had elements to drag and drop on a stage, add frames, dialog boxes, and create a 15 second animated story board. all positions of these elements along with the frames where sent server side to create images of each frame (rendering fronts and positioning), then combining them using ffmpeg to generate a video.
these videos were later uploaded on the client's YouTube channel.
this project was awesome, knowing css3 and html5 were prohibited to use due to cross browser compatibility. it was ban exercise on all levels :)
Super late at night that it's pretty much morning, got another cup of coffee and now looking at my code trying to figure out where I fucked up, for hours and VSC doesn't show that I have any errors.... 4 hours later, still looking and I finally notice it.... I typed (options.lenght) instead of length...2
Status: Fixed two NullpointerExceptions in one commit as a bugfix, with only one cup of coffee and all that on a friday.
I grab a cup of coffee, and move to my desk happily,
With a smile on my face and with the excitement to have a productive day,
I open my laptop to check my mails.
"3 Escalation mails + 1 mail that proves i'm stupid, with the entire team in CC."
Coffee is 50 cents a cup in uni.
Currently in an overcrowded hard rock cafe, waiting the 1h17 hours left until the beginning of the world cup. My biggest fuck up so far.1
Project Manager : this code line from here to here is confusing. Before you explain it to me i will need a cup of coffee. Do you want for yourself too?
Me : (*In my head* my mind work pretty clear without it as well.) Yes sir.1
Cup Noodles, they are a saviour when you want to finish something but are unable to since your stomach is empty
Procrastination bash script, goes really well with a cup of coffee! ;)
I just need the big stack of books for my avatar and it’ll look very accurate to my actual set up but replace the cup of coffee with a bottle of Cherry Coke9
When I first started learning to program, the first time I spent all day writing code. I was working with lists in common lisp. I sat down with a cup of coffee and my laptop, and the next thing I knew was five hours had passed unnoticed, but rather than feeling tired and irritable, I still felt happy and energized. And I thought, "Cool! This is what I want to do with my life. Good to know."
Today gonna be one of those woozy days.
Could only fall asleep at like 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning. Had serious allergic reaction or itchy disease starting from two palms. No med at home. Could only scratch and endure. And the fucking itch was moving from one body part to another throughout the night.
Went to the morning appointment and now heading office. One cup of coffee and one can of energy drink in me. Might add more juice in me later at office.5
So, since winter is growing closer here and the temperatures started dropping, I once again began to bring a hot tea thermos with me at my University.
Whenever I get bored and lose focus, I usually pour a cup and drink, trying to relax and regain my lost concentration.
I also fail miserably and turn to my phone when inevitably the tea runs out :/
The most excited was probably when I had to write a Visual Basic program with a try/catch statement that took user input and would send a “You Done Messed Up!” Popup Error message in the catch. For some reason it was sending it anyways even after the input was correct. Took me an hour of debugging to find out it was my logic that was wrong. Finished the assignment 5 minutes before it was due. I celebrated as if I had just won the World Cup.
Once upon a time, there was a cup of coffee aimlessly walking around the open fields of Alabama. He then realized he was not from Alabama and joined with his father the Sun.
That, my friends, is the story of the epic adventures of a sheep named Bob.
Basically, Stephen said unto me: "let there not be sheep", yet there still was.
The wonders of the modern world--the wonders!
I really do like chocolate.5
My colleague got cycled. I asked him whether he had any previous experience with MVVM in C#. Response went something like: What is that? Another model view view view......controller? I sent him for another cup of coffee...1
Just joined the ++ dark side. I've been part of this community for a while now and it's on of the best if not the best I've ever seen!
Even though I don't have a close connection to any of you I still want you to know I love all you guys/galls!
Thanks to the devs for creating this wonderfull app and keeping it updates. Go get yourself a cup of coffee with this extra income.6
I hate afternoon slump I just fell asleep in my chair at least I didn't snore or drool on my keyboard too late for a cup of coffee but I need something.
Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant
Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access
Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.
1. Shove it all to blender
3. Bon Appetit3
I got my current job in the most standard manner,
1. Saw an ad for the job in the local newspaper.
2. Called the boss and had a chat with him. He sounded nice and the job sounded interesting.
3. Submitted my application and resumé
4. Boss called and we set up an appointment for an interview.
5. Met with boss and HR, had a cup of coffee and an interview.
6. Boss called and told me I'm one of two, and that he would like me to do a DISC personality analysis.
7. Met with HR and did the analysis, a bunch of questions that I answered as thoroughly as I could.
8. Boss called and said, congrats! Can you start next month? Yes, I could and it's been more than three years since :)
To make a boring story a bit more funny: Half-way through my first day, I noticed my zipper was open =:O And today I'm wearing two exactly identical socks...save for the colour, different shades of grey on left and right foot. Hush, don't tell my colleagues, maybe they won't notice ;) Well, I guess it's alright as long as I'm not wearing nothing but underwear, or being butt naked, like in some nightmares.1
a nearly lethal amount of adderall as well as a small paper cup filled with liquid cocaine. Also somehow getting heart-burn from a singular french fry.4
Why everyone I told that I have an addition on Coffee said so you are a smoker
Ooh God no I'm not a smoker, I'm just a programmer that write 2 lines on code and drink a cup of coffee.4
Does anybody know some good, preferrably rather high-contrast vim-colorschemes? Both light and dark.
Currently testing through tbe base16 collection. Tried solarized but aint my cup of tea.3
Lovely to watch,
Hellish to traverse
I will raise my cup to it,
Behind my clear windows,
And my middle finger,
For when I open up the doors,
Atleast the computer doesn't overheat,
Even though it seems I get hot a lot,
Because the buildings are burning up,
The thermostat they crank it up,
Comes the holiday,
I see those familiar faces,
Gathered around the fireplaces,
I wanted a peaceful day,
'till they take my quiet away,
More socks as gifts to give me,
Oh my GO single D
Exercise app got it all planned out in my head (well sort of). All day at work I'll be getting ideas on how id make it.
Day ends and I feel motivated to work on it all the way home. Get in make a cup of tea boot pc create a project do initial commit to git.
And nothing. Motivation dead ability to think gone. So I'll sit there sipping my tea trying to get motivated.
Eventually I'll close it down and get motivation to start it again at 4am which isn't an ideal time to start a project.
What a wonderful morning. Muffin gets real angry if I don't go for a early walk with him. And tbh I like it too, when I get back I can grab my cup coffee and start coding.
What's your boot routine?6
Had been trying to get the latest build rolled out for the past 3 days. Every morning, I wake up around 6am, drink a nice cup of coffee, while listening to Ariana Grande (I don't know why, but for some reason, she randomly started coming on my playlist a lot) and start rolling out, and sure enough new errors start spiking, ultimately rollback.
Conclusion: don't listen to Ariana Grande when rolling out to production! 🤔
Whenever I see the name @CoffeeBoy come up I think to myself:
-Umm hey I think we just ran out of coffee,
-Aw shit and we are working overtime till we finish.
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking ?
-Are you thinking about how good it would be to be a cat.
-Uuh no why do you want to be a cat ?
-Well duuh cat's sleep all day. It's great !
-They also live for only 15 years so I would think in total you will sleep more than cats do.
-You like to ruin things for me don't you.
-I call it productive refactoring. But getting back on topic. I hear we have a new intern ?
-Yeah, that's Jim over there.
-Well lets tell him to get us coffee.
-Oh yeah that's a good idea, because interns already have the bare minimum of expectations from their life anyways !
-Hey Jim, yeah you Jimmie buddy can you get us a few cups of coffee we really need those to stay functioning right now.
-Yeah sure, what do you need.
-George drinks cappuccino, you can get me whatever. Thanks man here is the money. Buy yourself a cup too it's on me.
*Jim walks out of the room*
30 minutes has passed...
-Dude where is Jim at ? It shouldn't be that hard to get 3 cups of coffee from just a few blocks away.
-I hope he didn't get robbed or something he has MY money on him.
*22 minutes ago, jim walks out of the coffee shop carrying the 3 cups securely held under his arm *
-I thought he was just gonna use me as an errand boy or a coffee boy to be exact in this case. But it's nice of him to also pay for my cup. Maybe they are not such bad--
His sentence got cut off by the sudden impact with a metal surface at high velocity. He got hit by a car while he was crossing the street, too deep in thought to notice the speeding car in time.
After hitting Jim the car suddenly come to a halt with a screech noise from it's tires.
But it was too late the impact shattered his lower spine. Leaving a blodied body on the ground. Coffee from the smashed cups merged with his blood. Little did anyone know that day would be the birth of a new hero.
He,he,he he is the COFFEE BOY,
Fighting the evil villain Sleep Deprivation day and night, but mostly night. And his sidekick Mugatron always covering for Coffee Boy !!!
Be it public parks, or airports.
Be it people bitching about a perfectly good cup of coffee/chai or people snoring in a library.
If not for my earphones, I would be exponentially ineffective each day, and melt down in a blob of exhaustion.
I become such a infinite source of all peace after I plug my earphones in and it continues for some hours after I take them off.1
I discovered a cool little trick to wake myself up when I wouldn't stop dozing off and feeling like passing out on the floor even after emptying the coffee jar to my cup and splashing my face with cold water.
I watched horror gameplays,
Instant effect and now fully awake.
Thablnkfully human fight or flight response really puts your body on overdrive, heightens your alertness and raises oxygen levels in blood which makes you stop yawning.
Imma play or watch resident evil 7 whenever I wake up now ! Life hackzz6
Yesterday, I performed an experiment on myself.
I have heard pretty much that a cup of strong black coffee at night keeps you awake the entire night. Newbie here when it comes to staying up all night ( I mean I stay up late but never all night) so I decided to give it a go.
I'm unsure about the results though.
First off, how strong is a strong coffee? One teaspoon coffee per cup? Am I allowed to add a teaspoon of sugar?
Next, I think it kinda also have to do with me. I mean, I have heard it doesn't give me sleep so my personal bias affected it. I wanted it to be true. To be a life hack for that huge ass paper due by tomorrow.
Maybe it does work. At around 4 in the morning I was too tired with the shit I was doing so I decided to finally lay down. I recall this brief moment when I was in my bed all ready to sleep and the sleep wouldn't come. Maybe that's the coffee working. But again, it could just be normal.
Does it not work? If it does, how do I make it work? 😣9
What a great feeling when you push a big bunch of changes and CI makes it over the biggest hurdle (lint and test). Time for a fresh cup o' coffee while the build finishes.
Not having a cup of coffee before I do anything. Because I make silly mistakes like posting a rant for wk7
me: wanting a clean table to work, the less stuff the better, best would be a single notebook and nothing else
also me: backend dev, so 3 monitors, extern keyboard and mouse, some documentation papers and oh where is this cup coffee of last week coming from?
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.3
I really don't have much of any social life, and it's quite ok. I usually hang around with guys in the office every once in a while and if there is a football match going on, especially during this World cup. Maybe due to this I was even awarded a 100% raise, which is quite awesome. Nothing bad with being a loner sometimes things just work out for you, plus I get to concentrate on work a lot more than my peers. ^_^
I want to stop drinking coffee but everywhere i look there is always wallpapers and cups and shirts telling me that this is our fuel reminding me about it and i always wonder if it will be possible for me to stop drinking it. I want to stop drinking it because i just can't control myself and i drink it all day while i'm at work and at the time i arrive home my stomach hurts. Every night i think "tomorrow i wont be drinking a single cup" and then here i am ranting about it.1
Well at home I have a whiteboard and on that white board I make a list of things I want the code to do, don't do, and any ideas possible to emulate then I grab a cup of coffee turn on some music and start
The Peru football team is like a shitty parent who always tries not to miss your birthday, but misses it anyway or a slut girlfriend, who you just wish would change, she makes amends, but eventually ends up sucking some cock in an alley.
You almost fool me, team. Almost...8
Why does snapchat on android suck so badly?
Lemme get this out of me.
They admitted to focusing on the iOS variant more from now on. Why? Becuase it has a larger user base.
That means they will not give many fucks about the ONE BILLION ANDROID USERS.
But about the app itself...
With quite normal usage (let's say around 30 minutes opened in total, daily) snapchat uses more battery than my screen. What the fuck?
It is literally at the very top.
It might go up to 800mAh calculated drain. I don't know how they did it.
Anyways, it doesn't even work well.
It has a lot of lag, crahses, and makes my phone as hot as a cup of tea.
I suspect that's becuase it keeps using the camera. That is, keeps it on even when you are on a different screen. This is bullshit. I do sometimes chat with people on SC but I try to minimise it for this reason.
The UI itself is okayish but still lags beyond comprehension in comparison to other apps (wow, I love the android discord client, it has full functionality at low resource cost).
As far as I'm concerned it uses some sort of web technology mix. It does use chromium so I suspect HTML, CSS and JS is also present in the source code.
Also, let's make this a terrible mobile apps rant - feel free to contribute.4