Boss: I saw your last commit, great work!
Dev: But... You told me to delete all the features I added...
Boss: Yes, fantastic improvements!

QA: There is a bug in your program, it doesn't work !

DEV: What? It is working on my machine, let me show you *opens app*

QA: Well, then I will tell our clients to use your machine every time they want the app

DEV: ...

Friend: Oh, so you are software dev. What do you write mostly at work?

Me: bugs

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

Recruiter: This is a 100% remote position

Dev: Good! That’s what I’m looking for.

Recruiter: But the company does require you to come into the office “on occasion”

Dev: I live 5 hours away from your office so that would be not a good fit

Recruiter: And once covid is over the ability to work remotely will be getting reconsidered. You’ll likely need to move cities in order to continue your employment with them.

Dev: Yeah I’m looking for 100% remote work

Recruit: This is 100% remote! Just with the need to come into the office sometimes now and potentially more later.

Dev: …

Manager: Hey what was that that you closed on your screen just now?

Dev: That popup? That’s NVIDIA letting me know that a new driver for my GPU is available.

Manager: Isn’t that for video games?

Dev: I mean that’s the reason many people opt into having a GPU but It’s not the on—

Manager: You are NOT allowed to play video games on your work computer!

Dev: This is my personal computer. It’s just an older GPU I popped onto this computer since otherwise it was just sitting in a drawer. My work computer is out of commission.

Manager: Well where is your work computer? How come you are not using it?

Dev: …Because of that blue screen of death issue we talked about yesterday.

Manager: Ok but that doesn’t give you permission to play VIDEO GAMES on your *WORK* computer.

Dev: …

"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."

- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."

- "So... I have to test on stage?"

- "It doesn't work on stage either."

- "Uh, on prod?"

*office laughs*

We're doing it live folks.

Dev: I’m taking a vacation next week

Manager: Good you need a break! I’ve put together a list of tickets for you to action during vacation since you’ll mostly be free during that time

Dev: Do you know what vacation means?

Manager: Well I work during *my* vacation

Dev: You write non-answers to emails and interrupt devs with status questions that are easily answered by a single glance at the kanban board. Also, you’ve just assigned a month’s worth of storyboard points to me on my week long vacation. We’d get more work done if you didn’t “work” during your vacation.

Manager: Well it all needs to get done! It’s the only way we can catch up and get ahead of schedule.

Dev: Why do you exist again?

So the company I work for decides there's money for installing a Jacuzzi on the roof but won't buy our new dev a PC? Where's he supposed to work? In the fecking hot tub?

Dev submitting PR: “Testing instructions: Self explanatory”

Dev reviewing PR: You need to be a bit more verbose than that.

Dev submitting PR: “Testing instruction: Feature should work as expected”

Dev reviewing PR: *sigh*… Feature doesn’t work as expected

Dev submitting PR: WHAT IS NOT WORKING AS EXPECTED??? I NEED MORE DETAIL THAN THAT!!

Dev reviewing PR: …….So do I you muppet

Do NOT be overwhelmed nor discouraged when you realized how little you know.

after all software dev is still a work in progress :)

Latest from my team,
One of the Dev copied code from a stackoverflow question.

Got same exception as highlighted in the question and started complaining that his code does not work.

Dev: So how do you want this feature fixed?

Manager: It should work how it worked before.

Dev: I'm new to this feature, I don't know how it worked before or what is broken about it.

Manager: Well just make it work like it worked before.

Dev: I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKED BEFORE THAT IS WHY I AM ASKING YOU. PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN DO MY JOB.

Manager: Just how it worked before!

Dev: ...

Manager: ...

Dev: fuck you

Client: "We are extremely satisfied with your great work for almost three years now and we are super thrilled to work with you in the future and benefit from your amazing work."
Dev: *makes one tiny little mistake*
Client: "Oh burn in hell you cock sucking piece of shit!"

Senior Dev at work told me to cherry pick commits from another branch....later found out that it is an actual git command ! 😅

git cherry-pick <commmit>

Just another client...

Manager: We do not identify as a tech company so don’t expect tech company salary increases this year

Dev: Well don’t expect me to bring a tech work ethic then

Manager: !!

Best Git commit msg I ever saw was nothing more than: "please work"
...found after a junior dev left our company and we were reviewing things

Best part of being a dev?

The perceived ability to fix ANY electronic device owned by friends and family.

"So you work with computers? Any idea what's wrong with my toaster?"

Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it

*Doing a Peer Code Review of someone senior to me*

Me: This fix doesn't look like it will work, but maybe I don't understand. How does this fix the defect?

Senior Dev: *Blinks* It works on my machine

Me: But how does it work?

Senior Dev: It works when I run it on my machine...

Me: Do you know if this will fix the issue?

*Silence*

Never seen QA punt an issue back to development so fast.

When I was 12 I started programming by makimg games. Then when I was 18 I stopped with a game dev study (because of personal reasons). I went to a web dev study and found work 4 years later. Today my company hired a new sales person who has worked at a few game dev companies and she said she will try to put me on game dev projects.

Im so happy now :D

dev A: is everything operative?
dev B: yeah, sure
dev A: how do you know?
dev B: log service doesn't show anything wrong
dev A: does the log service work?
dev B: why shouldn't it? It's its job
dev A: *sips tea*

My setup at work as a juniour dev. Got a month ago a 3rd monitor (the left), because I'm working on some backend services and had to test them with a touchscreen. Now only the frontend dev and I have 3 monitors in the whole company 😁

After trying to explain a problem I was facing at work to a Non-Dev friend of mine

Non-Dev Friend: Why did you even choose to become a developer in the first place?

Me: I didn't choose coding, it choose me!

Manager: I NEVER SAID THAT!!

Dev: *Brings up email where he said exactly that*

Manager: I DON’T REMEMBER ASSIGNING YOU A TICKET TO LOOK THAT UP. GET BACK TO WORK!!

Dev: …

new developer :D

You pay a dev for 8 hours of work, he/she thinks about (ie. works on) the problem for 24...
Best deal ever :/

At new work, I am supposed to use Windows. So I need to learn how to Dev on Windows. Google is not helping.

Image for reference. And the list goes on...

HR: Here at company A we have a great culture. It truly is the best place ever to work!

Dev: How many companies have you worked for?

HR: Besides babysitting as a teenager this is the only company I’ve ever worked for.

Dev: I thought so.

I spend a night in the woods from time to time. 🏕️ It really gets you grounded and helps to take a step back on all those dev / work related issues.

1. Better pay.
2. Better Dev work.
3. An xbox/PS4 in office.
4. Better planning.

My first photo
On my first work desk
At my first work day
Of my first dev. Work

I'm glad I'm a dev with flexible work hours...

Yesterday I was cleaning my computer and accidentally wiped out all my dev folder (I got confused with another folder named "dev" that I had just downloaded) and I lost all my work.

Fortunately, most of everything (or the most important at least) was on GIT. I only lost my yesterday's work which was not pushed (only locally committed).

Kids, remember pushing before leaving the building

Sandev. The santa dev.

If you are a nice dev, he makes your code work... If you are a naughty dev, he fills it with bugs.

If you are an immensely naughty dev, he disables all browsers except for an older version of IE, rm -rfs your linux distro, and magically makes android studio eat up more ram than usual.

How it's like to work in game Dev companies

Applies to dev work too..

Interviewer: we need you to work overtime.
Dev: ok.
I: but we dont pay overtime work.
D:(so you want me to work for free?)
D:OK.

Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* Hey I noticed a minor bug I think

Dev: Sigh…. So then create a ticket for it

Manager: Can’t you just fix it right now?

Dev: I can but I’m currently working on that other issue you told everyone was “top priority” at the morning status meeting. Should I switch to actioning this minor bug instead?

Manager: Don’t switch just multitask and work faster!

Dev: …

actually I still work in my first dev job :)
(its been 8 years now)

Manager: You know you really shouldn’t pay off your mortgage faster than you absolutely have to. It’s the cheapest money you’ll ever get!

Dev: I’d rather work towards being debt free. Besides my RRSP (401k) is already maxed out

Manager: RRSPs are a scam! TFSAs (Roth IRAs) are way better

Dev: My TFSA is maxed out too

Manager: 😡 You still shouldn’t pay off your mortgage!

Dev: …

If anyone at your work pisses you off that isnt a dev. Slowly begin automating their tasks and soon that position wont exist!

We are debugging Wordpress syndication plugin tomorrow at work, the intern is uber scared because the lead dev is missing. Rest in peace my soul.(I'm the intern)

there's this thing I've noticed...

º the more interesting DEV task I'm working on, the more I forget to eat (sometimes at all @9-5)

º the more boring/repelling DEV task I'm working on, the more snack breaks I take

Am I alone here?
Does that mean exciting DEV (only?) work is more likely to keep you fit and boring tasks are dragging you to obesity?

How was your day at work?
Dev: - I managed to break the whole thing, so s**t! 😭
QA: - I managed to break the whole thing, so productive! 😎

if (ENV === “dev”)
{....}

^ An ex-colleague Pushed this to production and asked why the code didn’t work.

WHY BITCH, WHY?

- hire a new Dev.
- not burnout this year
- work less, deliver more
- start a open source side project and make it production ready

Fuck web dev.
I dabbled in many areas but I do web dev most often. And seriously: fuck web dev. Your site has to work on multiple browsers. Multiple screen resolutions. The code has to be tiny for load time. The images have to work for every resolution and still be small. The styling can look different in different browsers. So many useful javascript features are only supported by modern browsers. An on top of that: IE.
I’ve gotten quite good at all of this, but still: it’s such a fucking pain.

Then.

Dev: "Ah! Some free time at last, let me stack overflow something and learn"

Now.

Dev: "I'll work later, let me devRant"

So I just got let go because there was not enough work to keep me full time. Yet my manager was farming out dev work to a 3rd party developer... Fml

story of my life

*2 months ago manager forces me (frontend dev to work on backend) and he agrees to do that only until new year*
*new year arrives frontend dev wants to go back to frontend*
*manager surprised pikachu face*

When your peer dev is ++'ing your shit on devRant instead of git pushing the project so you can work on it too 😒 @filipe095

"The client has reported {some problem}. Do we know what has caused it?"
Dev: "{explanation} is the cause"
"Ok, was that caused by a recent change?"
Dev: "No, the system has been like that since the start"
"Ok, but who did it? Was it some recent work?"
Dev: "The system has been like that since the start"
Constant fucking blame and finger pointing.
Fuck off.

When there's no time for UX and you let the Dev team work on the design.

Ive got three rooms I might work in, currently my desktop is in my VR dev room where the lights are broken.

*opens Eclipse to do some dev work*
*Pressed Ctrl + Alt + down arrow to duplicate code*

*sees screen upside down*

Thank you Intel. I needed that...

Reasons not to be a dev:
High Stress level
Caffeine addiction
No home/work life balance.

You know it's gonna be a good Friday when the dev team takes a work trip to the store to get beer.

Happy Friday everyone!

Management: foobar resigned. We need to have a dev who can work the android app project.

Me: You have to find a dev who can work with that stack.

Management: You!

Me: Me?

Management: Yes, You.

Me: Me? Why me? I'm a web dev.

Management: Starting tomorrow you will work for 2 projects.

Me: but..

Management: accept it or..

Me: Okay. -_-

Management:

Me:

When you work on a side project intoxicated and look at the dev comments the next day.

Front-end dev makes site look nice: "that looks great! Nice job"

Back-end dev makes site do everything useful: "right, that's how it's supposed to work"

Just picked up some freelance work because someone recognized my dev rant shirt.

Devrant has become a cabal.

!rant

I've been struggling for the past year with:

Dev work
Ops work
"Management" work

This last month I made a decision, I don't give a fuck anymore and just gonna do my dev work which is the one I'm paid to do.

Never been better. Its healthy whem you let all those fucks go away :)

Don't be me. Don't miss an interview because you don't know how timezones work and at least take a look at their website if you're applying for a web dev job.

Senior Devs, what are your general expectations from a junior Dev at work?

On negotiation and signing contract
================================
manager: yes you will work 8 hours a day from Tatta hours to Tat tat ta hours.
dev: okay great, i accept it. So no overtime and everythings right?
manager: that we will consider.
dev: hmm okay
=========================

Start working for about 1 month
=========================
manager: John, you not showing up at the office today? What happened?
dev: Sir, I have to stay up all night finished the last task as required and just sleep around 6am in the morning.
manager: John, i need to tell you. your performance is very great. Our clients are happy.
You deliver all the task. We love you, John.
dev: Yes thank you so much. I am happy too, but i need to sleep now i been over time for the last 3 weeks.
Manager: don't worry john, you will get reward later.
===================================
Weeks later:
dev: i need to request for leave, i am over work and now i am sick, my eye got red and cannot look at the screen.
manager: what is happening this month, you been late to work and you not deliver the task, you are sick and this and that, and depressed and whatever... tata taata,
dev: sir, when i first started you said i could only have to work 8 hours a day, now I work more than 12 hours day. What's change?
================================
life as devs in tough companies, high expectation and shit.

I've finished all my work. The Dev life is definitely for me. I love being a Dev. I am going to continue being a Dev. Ignore my previous rant.

This has been my wallpaper since june, when I had to become a dev at work.

I've been drinking waaayyy too much coffee while hunting those missing semicolons these last months.

I just accepted an offer as a backend dev for a startup in Berlin, Germany. I’m looking forward to all the coffee and beer I will drink while I work. 😆

I have a colleague, let's call him Zigo.

Each time we have a technical discussion inside the team Zigo wants to always impose his opinion. Even if it's the dumbest thing ever.

Zigo thinks he's always right.

Zigo never accepts other's arguments.

Zigo thinks he's smarter than everyone...

Hey Zigo... f**k off and learn to respect your teammates.

I'm sure all of you have (or had) a Zigo in your team.

PS : I've known people that were like Zigo, but they have the technical background & knowledge that "allows" them to be like that. The only problem is that our Zigo doesn't have all these qualities...

PPS : sorry for my English - it is not my strong suit.

It's technically my first day at work. I have no idea what I'm doing.

As a college student, best part of being a dev is when there is no class, but instead of being happy for going home earlier to do whatever like everyone else, my happiness comes from being able to stay late at work, and put that project to roll.

Only developers can feel that.

“Best dev habit to unlearn”

Think of an idea and never work on it! 😒

That horrible feeling that you're holding the team back as a junior dev.

What took me two days of struggle, it took the senior dev a glance to solve the issue.

Literately took them less than 10seconds to complete the task which I spent two days both at work and after work of debugging and research to try and solve.

Why are they paying me to work here.

I guess I've just got the ideal dev job. Working from home, with nice people in my team and enough time to deliver quality work.

PM: Costumer said the site does not work on IE.
Dev: He deserves it for using that shit.

It must really suck to be a malware dev... "Oh look, the recent changes i made to my cryptomalware made it work! Sadly project file are encrypted too. Lets start over."

Company switched some users from windows 7 to windows 10 overnight. Installation failed for most of the Dev team.

- No admin access
- Files missing
- Programs missing

Result : we can't work :/

I love when the internet goes down at work and your dev database is in aws.

Client: "But why isn't it working. It should work"

Dev: "Sorry but it's not in your requirements"

Client: "But it should work"

fffockins 😡

If a tree falls over in the woods..
And important dev work gets done and shipped,
And it's not in JIRA.. did it even really happen..

As someone who used to be a full-time Dev, but now works in other areas that sometimes don't quite scratch that tech itch, I find that each visit to Deviant inspires me more and more to work on personal Dev projects. Don't know how or why, but it just does. Go DevRant!

Colleagues improvising themselves "Evangelists of everything" but continuously asking me how to do things.

Now you can go ask there.

Serious question, what's so great about using Macs for programming and dev work? Junior dev here and all my colleagues and superiors can't stand them.

Is there actually a technic benefit that I'm missing?

As a Jr Web Dev, what advice should I know if I continue to work in the software field?

Best Dev experience: Switching to rust,
Worst Dev Experience: Using VS code at work because I can't get anything else approved to be installed.

More work-related than dev-related:
- Saying "yes" to extra work more often than necessary.
- Wanting to do everything myself and not delegating enough.
- Getting too stressed out.
- Avoiding conflicts and confrontations (even necessary ones!) and not being assertive enough.
- Overthinking everything.

the problem when u love dev but can never think of good side projects to work on

It drives me crazy when I'm in the middle of coding and another dev member from my team interrupts my session to tell me something completely unrelated to work 😡

Work at a banking software company, one bug allowed bankers to book a deal after quote expired. So i could theoretically buy something at yesterday's rate. Dev forgot the "btnBook.enabled=false"

A senior developer would ask me to drink in the bar where we talk about dev and non dev related stuff, almost every night after work

First day at work, my PC starts updating, reboots and suddenly, the boot partition is corrupt.
Nice way to start in Dev.

Not being motivated enough to work on or finish personal projects.

Apparently, easier said, than done when you have a full-time Dev job.

Being a Dev has its perks.

Started working a couple hours ago (yep, on a Saturday night) to get some code working for a demonstration of a system prototype on Monday.

The code in question was some recursive directory traversal tied in with some file generation in NodeJS. 2 hours later I nailed it, and the feeling of satisfaction of having that code working on all of your tests is overwhelming.

It's a different kind of excitement compared to sitting behind your desk at the office.

I am a senior Android dev, and I have an old colleague (iOS senior dev). We work on the same project, but in every estimation session he pushes a lot on the lower side: he estimates 4h a task that normally takes 6h or 8h, and the reason is that he has no social life. Right after work he starts working again from home (I can see all his commits), he also works almost entire weekends. I would say he works as average 12/13 h per day.
I don t want to work extra time (unpayed).
About him, it is his life, so I don t care...but at the same time this makes me pressure. I care a lot about quality of code, and I don t want to sacrifice it just for catching up. Most of the people in the team know that he works a lot extra time.

How would you handle this?

> be me
> i'm a junior dev
> i use C# at work
> frontend guy left
> now i use C# and Angular
> boss hired a data analyst
> data analyst created R script for his work
> implement this script to our services
> script doesn't work
> i have no idea of R
> i need to fix it
> pleashelp.png

After 4 months of dev, Project went into production
Client: it should work like that.
Me: it's a CR!
Client: No, it's not!
Me: talk to my boss.
...
...
...

I still wonder why people go to programming classes thinking a dev is paid a lot. Not all devs are paid a lot and it takes passion and hard work to be a good dev. Don't just go there for the money. You'll regret wasting your life.

Any Covid-19 virus stories to share on how it affected your dev work live?

Phonegap, when you are using the dev app: yeah nice seems to work fine

Phonegap, when you start the compiled app: welp time to run over my dick with a truck

Just accept a position on the dev team at work!

As a dev that can't work from home, sincerely, fuck you weather. I'm gonna punch the next person that says climate change isn't real.

Upwork is absolute GARBAGE.

PLEASE tell me alternative to find a job as a dev and work remotely. I have to work for foreign international software company.

I cant be working for my local city companies because the salary even for engineers is TRASH

Boss yelled at lead mobile dev for low productivity because the project manager present him wrong timetables and added accidentally one more week of work.

Next day boss yelled at the lead mobile dev cause the back end wasnt working well.

Project manager and lead back end developer enjoy life! Front is hell :P

!dev
can you guys suggest me good TV/Anime series with few seasons or episodes so I can use my Sunday. Not in a mood for work.

this fucking senior dev, just send the following messages:

pull development,
Did yarn install
now yarn dev does not work.....

BRO: READ THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE!
It's plain English!

Seriously wtf.

suddenly remember have to pay rent. but it's holiday.
is there any job hunt site that pays $200 for 2 days web dev work? 😂

PM : Develop this new feature. Client needs it tomorrow. And be sure it works perfectly well.
Dev : haha how can it work without bug if it's developed in a day ?

Poor dev got transferred to support department :(

Tired of non-dev co-workers talking to me like I work for them. They better be careful. I'll code their computers to do their jobs for them.

Best: I got my first job as Android dev

Worst: Long commute everyday (2.5 hours from home to work)

CTO for the picture.

This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.

Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.

Lead Dev sends rant about the app being a week late...

Doesn't take into account that I was pulled off it for two weeks to work on something else and the other dev was on maternity for two weeks :/

Documentation can make your dev work fun

When you show your work to your non-dev friend...

Unexpected downside to using a Windows VM for dev related work : once my Windows host (finally) finished updating, I powered on the VM...and that started updating too. FML :/

Work from home

Expectation:
- Free time from commute, more time for gaming

Reality:
- Free time from commute, more time for dev works

p.s. I'm more tired these days

Just learned about /dev/null
Would mv / /dev/null work?

*sits at work*

Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.

*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.

she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.

senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"

*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*

I fucking died.

Hi all,

This might be a long post so bear with me. I work for a company and there was a project for a huge client. I'm junior in skill (been programming for about two years) but my job title doesn't reflect that. Anyways, I got the design about a month ago but I was on deadline for two other projects so I couldn't pick it up until last week Wed. Ironically, that's when the final design was delivered & told me it was due next week Wednesday. I built it as fast as I could. Finished mobile but for some reason, this last part for desktop just wasn't working out and it just so happens to be the most crucial part of the piece. (I was also sick the entire time and didn't sleep for the last two days nor did I eat). I was supposed to demo it yesterday but I still needed to make a few updates and the project coordinator took me off the project & gave it to a dev with more experience. This has never happened to me before. I'd go as far as to say this is my first big fuck up. I've always delivered on deadline and I'm taking this pretty hard. Has anyone been in similar situations? What do I do? Any advice?

My Dev hero is without a doubt Robert C Martin (Uncle Bob). His books clean code and the cleans coder changed the way I program and his work on TDD too

Best dev moment in college/work where you felt like the king of the world

sales-managers: How long do you need to implement feature X ?
software-dev: Hmmm, that's nothing we have in our default-packages ... could be nasty, because it won't work without feature Y, which also does not exist in the current version 3 of our system.
I need to investigate this issue.
... 2 days later:
software-dev: This is really a nasty problem - to make X work, we've to reimplement Y for our system version 3, but this won't work with feature Z.
If we do this, it may take several weeks.
sales-manager: we need to go live in 2 months.
software-dev: might work.
------
1 week before go-live:
sales-manager: The customer saw us testing feature X. He does not like it. Could we just do it in ... blabla ... this way?
software-dev: This would work out of the box with feature Z, yes - we've to remove feature Y and X for that. But be warned - this might work next week without testing only.
sales-mamanger: do it now!
day of go live:
The customer tried the new feature X - it won't work.
software-dev: But it's not there, was removed, instead he has to use feature Z.
...
sales-guy comes back: He does not like it.
software-dev: why not? its working!
sales-guy: Yes, but he still wants it to work like feature X as he ordered.
software-dev: according to the specs, its exactly what he ordered. look at that: (showing the general specifications of project, showing feature Z).
...
sales-guy: The customer did not review this new document since last week.... Its still feature X
...
dev: really? why? I sent that version to you the day, he said, he doesn't like feature X, and you said I've to change that just urgently.
sales-guy: Please switch back to the version with X of last week. - could you. please ?
me: This won't work, because the other colleagues already finished their stuff on that currently running system - we'll lose all the optimations we've done to make this and other stuff work.
----- FAIL ------- NEVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT SIGNATURE OF THE CUSTOMER !!!
One week onsite and rescheduled go-live is just so-what expensive.
Today (some weeks later) ... I saw someone else sitting in sales-guys office.

Client : you are hired as a developer.

Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.

Client : Ok, here's another dev

(Meanwhile me doing my work...)

ON THE DAY OF DEMO :

Me : Here's the demo.

Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?

Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before

Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!

Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )

Pleasure to do dev work with you again after a 2-year break, dear Windows. You are still the capricious little prick you used to be

I do wish that we could have a dev dating site. Why? Cause I cannot give my girlfriend enough time and then she gets moody and then this leads to breakup.

Now I have to freaking choose between her or code this is bad, bad.

If we devs get dev gf she knows how things work and things would work out

Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!

*quits development and lives under a bridge*

Frustration at its peak !!

So the CTO of the company I recently joined, whom I considered to be cool personality of all the open culture in the office and open communication, seems to be all wrong.

Few days back he suddenly dropped a mail to all the tech team members mentioning that we need more streamlined process in the company and many more blah blah stuffs... to which all of us agreed.

But. But. But. The last line(small font size) mentioning that from now onwards we need to come on Saturdays too until further notice. I mean WTF !!? Seriously.

But today in stand-up when one of the guy asked the agenda, he just tossed the question saying that we need to be more active attending "client tickets". Goddammit. We are devs, not tech support.
To this one of the other dev, said the exact same thing that was going in everyone's mind. Call the team that are required on Saturdays. To which his reply was, " Come on Saturday, we will speak then".

I was like 👏👏👏

P.S. Not that we are not ready to come on Saturdays, but at least take consent of all the members in the team, if you all babble so much about open culture and shit. We have friends and family too to have fun with, and need to take little rest on weekends.
And most importantly, tell us some firm reasons to be there on weekends, not just "You have to come, because we said so!"
Period.

So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.

Feeling frustrated/angry because you can't get that piece of code to work? Just remember that Dev in Hindi almost loosely translates to God :P

My Biggest dev. fear.
Hire a freelancer/partner to share your work load and he might start developing whole project parallaly himself

First dev job is my current one.

I'm a software engineer in test, writing automated UI tests for web and mobile apps.

Its pretty great. I work from home with flexible hours. I have a boss but he doesnt manage my dev team, he just checks in to make sure I'm getting support, training and have all my questions answered. My dev team is myself and 2 other people, both of which are cool, and all the work is dev-driven.

Might just stay here until retirement, that sounds easy.

Just relocated to work in stockholm to work as android dev. Any devs out here who would like to meet up have some coffee or a beer and teach me the swedish ways? :D

How do you feel with not having motivation to work on/finish your personal projects?

I'm working 9 to 5 plus commute and at the end of the day I just want to eat some food and chill. But I keep beating myself up over not working on things that will improve myself.

Does anyone else feel like this while working full time?

My vision for my dev career would be being retired from it because I no longer have to work for money. This will never happen.

!dev

I just noticed the toilet paper at my gym is better than the one at work

Set some dev goals..

TLDR: spend less time at work coding

No, really..for what I do at work, I am happy. Would like to learn more recent stuff (partially stuck with vb.net), but I don't even know where to start googling.. sooo... get more free time I guess to figure this out..which is a dev goal on it's own too, come to think of it, this translates as don't spend so much time at work coding.. and spend some of it learning new (dev related) things outside of work..new/different js frameworks, python (been fixing/adding some code here & there, but never learned it properly & to check it's full potential, I heard it is awesome btw), read up on algorithm time costs (learn how to fuckin spell this!!)...

And kinda dev related as I will have to spend less time at work is to get back in 'sort of' shape and climb (more)..and spend more quality time with my husband, who is too good, totally supports me & my work, so I never get to hear him nag I was working late, which leads to 'stop working so long' goal I rly need to get in order or I'll burn out again, and I'm bitchy and horrible whe BO..and we don't wanna see that again..

Sum up: work less, learn new things, climb more, be happy/content.

Corporate Training: to lock your screen press ctrl+alt+delete and select lock screen.

Non-Dev: need to lock screen, ctrl+alt+delete... It's not responding... Ctrl+alt+delete.... Wait why did my computer reboot.... NOOOOOOOO... MY WORK

Me, Dev: uhm I just used Win+L...

When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(

Junior dev here.
I'm removing features that are worth days of work because business requirements weren't properly defined with the business owner. Disheartening.

For me it is not difficult to explain other people what I am doing as a programmer, but what company I am working for. We write software for the administration of cemeteries. People often look at me like I am joking. So I was wondering: What was your weirdest project/Job as a developer?

1. Finish what is left over from 2017
2. Get some experience with machine learning
3. Finish internship and work as a normal full-time dev

I think I've never prayed so much for things to work before I started working as a dev 😅

There is nothing as hard as explaining the work of a back end dev to a non technical person

I got my dev ducks in recently (React, C++ and C#) but brought them to work before I took pictures and now I can't show you guys because I am not allowed to take pictures at work.

Believe me, I have them.

After a long week, bringing work home this weekend, this made me open the most satisfying smile. Thanks @dfox and @trogus, from a pt-BR dev

TLDR; College group projects suck, not because the work, but the people in your group will make or break you. Fuck having 1 week to do this assignment.

Sometimes working with other students on group projects is great, they actually know how to create a merge a git branch. I've had a decent partner once during my 3 years at university so far. This last project takes the cake on idiots I've worked with...so far at least... It was me and two others, we'll call them Thing1 and Thing2 for now. Anyway so the 3 of us had a week to implement a very rudimentary Invoice system; fine, easy enough. We divided up the work and 'started'.
All seemed to be going well, no complaints or cries for help all week. Until 4 hours before we submit the assignment; Thing 1 sends me a DM saying all of Thing 1's work is useless full of bugs and just shouldn't be integrated with the rest of the code. Umm fine? I guess? wtf?! why did this have to come out last minute?! We could have explained to Thing 1 what's going on and gotten him/her up to speed on everything. Believe it or not, I was sorta ok with this? I mean thing 1 hadn't pushed anything to the repo yet. I mean literally nada, Thing 1 is a collaborator on the repo that has contributed nothing. Seeing as how Thing 1 was contributing nothing I had already started to cover our ass a began Thing 1's work.
That's not even what's pissed me off... at least thing 1 had the gall to message me to say "idk..wtf is going on...continue without me". Thing 2 arguably made my time with the project worse. His code was nothing but garbage...every time...literally spent more time deciphering his incoherent bullshit more than I did rewriting his mess. I shit you not he wrote out this method, and tells the group he's "finally got it fixed and working":
public static float updateTotal(float newValue)
{
total = updateTotal(newValue);
return total;
}

How tf did he test this to see if its working?! I'm a novice and can already see the infinite loop here. You called your method within that method's own definition, what did you expect to happen.
I managed to get things 75% working and turned in 5 mins before the cut off.
Thankfully Thing 1 emailed the Proff as well, hopefully he won't tank my grade too bad. I'm so glad to be done with this assignment, fingers crossed there's no more group work.

Every Node.js dev today - Deno is awesome! Much better than Node. Let's use Deno.

Still every Node.js dev - Why can't Deno run my simple code? Why can't they make Deno work exactly like Node?

Back in my study days software dev was this weird almost magical thing where you tell a electrocuted stone in a fantasy language what to do.
Now after working in the field for 4 years it has lost its shine and I mostly connect software dev to work grind and people who complain even though they just don’t read.
Maybe the time is near to look into a new field of work. Maybe it’s just not my kind of work to earn money. It’s not even like my higher ups are unsatisfied with my work. My current boss complimented my work a lot in our meeting last week.

Is this normal for developers to feel/experience?

So I got my first Dev job as a Junior!!!! It is in a big company that seems to be full of energy and ideas.
I am really excited and hope this all go well.
I'm just lost about how to be prepared for the first day and afraid to not meet the expectations I think they have on me.

That moment when you're at work and u got a call from another company's hr to set up job interview cause your PM is making you hate being a device :)

To all you dev-ops people, y'all are doing God's work. Thanks from this dev.

Being a junior dev sometimes sucks. People always gotta second guess your work and make you feel like shit. And never apologize when they realize they were wrong. 🤬🤬🤬

*Developer working from home*

Dev -- Make me some coffee
Wife -- *no response*
Dev -- sudo make me some coffee
Wife -- It's not gonna work on me !!!

Not strictly a dev-goal, but anyway:
Now that I am responsible for a few people in the company I work for, my goal is to find a balance between managing and dev, and to help them develop their skills, be productive, and enjoy their work.

Wooh! I finally have some work, I'm now the composer for a small dev team, unpayed of course, but this is a fangame, a passion project. I'm so happy!

I like to dev at home than at work, and you guys what do you prefer ?

Does nobody want a dev intern in Lod Angeles? Been calling companies all day telling them I'll work for free lol. at lady they're taking my resume

Java Dev: "Does Josh's team own this java service?"
Scrum Master: "They did the dev work but we own it."
Java Dev:

I came to work when and found out the boss had fucked up:
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/important_HDD_for_VMs

!rant
Your go to linux setup for dev && office work?

Ramadan and dev work can either go really hand in hand, or it doesn't :(

My Senior posts on LinkedIn about fostering a good work environment, but nobody in our office talks to each other and every time he comes in I get 45 trello cards about what I’ve not done right. Not a single time have I got a ‘well done, you’ve really taken initiative, you’ve managed to do something new without any guidance’

What’s the point in being on a juniors salary if I’m not being taught anything?

Being Ill and a dev is the worst... Not being able to think straight and focus for more then 2seconds really kills any sort of work you can do

Still a student, working part time at a dev company, doing small work 'cause they have nothing to make me do, and today the two person I'm supposed to work with are on leave...

The last few weeks I am seriously considering antidepressants...

Being the only Android dev in the company, I felt very lonely. Google is the only friend I have during work.

What do you do when you don't have any assigned work in office and idle for 2 weeks..?
I'm already frustrated. And I don't know to pretend I'm working infront of manager 😁

Had wanted to learn web dev from a long time (Im an android dev). Got to know about free code camp and started 3 days ago. Totally addicted to it. Anyone who wants to learn web dev must try it. Simply great work.

The fucking worst part about web dev is getting the damn .htaccess file to work properly. I usually do some basic url rewriting but then it won't work locally, or I have to restart the server (which of course I fucking forget), and then suddenly it *does* work without restarting the server... Just arghhhh

I'm starting to think that I could listen to some podcasts while I work, to learn things in the background.

Would you recommend good podcasts?

I'd like to listen to software dev good practices, or real life dev stories to learn from. Also videogame dev related would be good too.

As a dev (all kind of dev ) what is something you struggle with in a work environment? Or at home?

Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: this won't work. Literally the documentation says what you did won't work once we move towards our end goal architecture.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Dev: [does some weird code to make test pass]
Me: no. You need to solve underlying problem.
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
.... One Sprint later nothing works...
Me: please stahp
Dev: [shows middle finger and requests merge and somehow managed to get code merged]
Me: WTF man do your fucking job
Scrum Master: stahp lowering our velocity
Me: wut? 😒

A colleague went on vacation, as the lead mobile engineer I had to cover his work. Switching between iOS dev and Android dev usually is fun. Integrated and deployed a dozen tickets for each platform within 12hrs.

Third day at work, still configuring. This is what happens when you make me use windows. Got my first dev assignment today though, so that's fun.

Where would you buy a cheap, basic laptop for work (web dev)?

Windows Dev Team: "I know! We should just ask them to enable Cortana 8 different times during setup, it'll work."

Job post I saw today. They are either looking for:

- C/C# Dev to the company
- HAPPY Frontend dev
- Java Dev to the company

Well now.. only the front end gets to be happy but doesn't know where to work while the other two can be grumpy and know they'll work at the company? 🤔

Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.

The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!

It's amazing that we had to explain to an offshore API dev how timezones work. You'd think they know what it is by being in a different timezone, think again.

found an app to do some dev 'work out' it is very cool, have a look enki.com/join/gdledsan

my workstation, can't imagine to work without it,
waiting for dev rant stickers even left some space for them
Proudly running Ubuntu Gnome 16.04

When you work for a dev shop and one of the clients buys you out of your non compete to hire you directly. Now I'm my old bosses boss :)

Work: yeah we just all use the prod credentials for s3. Just use the dev bucket.

Me: ummmmm..............

Be prepared to try a dev job in case the localization company I actually work for go bankruptcy

New android Dev joined us today..was very nervous..reminded me of my first few days at work..

Lately I've been feeling really demotivated to work on my own personal dev project and its been like this for weeks now. I really don't know how to change that 😣

So I want to find out what motivates you to work on your own dev projects? 😊

my co worker: "I don't use a dev environment, I work directly from cpanel"
me: WTF???