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Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"
*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*
Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.
Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"
*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*11 -
FINALLY
GODDAMNED
FIXED
I'VE SPENT OVER A GODDAMN WEEK SWIMMING THROUGH DEMON EXCREMENT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS TRYING TO FIND THE SOURCE OF THIS SHIT.
I FINALLY FOUND IT. IN A FUCKING. CONDITIONAL. OVERLOAD. OF A MODEL GETTER.
THAT ABSOLUTE NONSENSE RETURNS EITHER THE REQUESTED COLUMN FROM THE DATABASE, OR AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT COLUMN, ALL DEPENDING ON THE VALUE OF A THIRD FUCKING COLUMN.
HKJSDFASKFJ
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE.
THE VALUE IT RETURNS. IS COMPLETELY WRONG. FOR ALMOST. EVERY. FUCKING. CASE.
BECAUSE THAT FIRST COLUMN? IT NEVER GETS UPDATED. EVER.
AND THIS DEALS WITH ACCOUNTING AND REAL GODDAMN MONEY.
AARRGHHHHH
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!28 -
Mother of god, as if the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands wasn't bad enough, one of the politicians who likes the new law has come up with an even more redicilous idea.
an 'Internet Authority. To put it short, an authority which surveils the internet in real time and sees where all social media shit is coming from/going.
Meaning that it wouldn't just be 'targeted mass surveillance' sometimes but fulltime online monitoring.
This guy has lost his fucking mind.35 -
Real conversation:
dev 1: so what are you working on these days?
dev 2: some wordpress project.
dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?
dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?
dev1: no.
dev2: okay.26 -
Instagram coding pics are so fucking cringe worthy....like for real man. A picture of a simple cpp loop, or averyfuckingbasic Express hello world in some hipster filter with inspirational quotes and everyone looses their shit for it.
Instagram people are so easy.11 -
A few days ago, I had a trashed laptop, lost my wallet with University ID and my debit card, a thesis and a poster not started, and no real content to put on either. I'd need money to get a new univ ID but no debit card. Same ges for buying a laptop. Also homework and shit due. Which required a load of Python.
Fast forward a week.
Laptop on its way, thank PayPal. Got new univ ID. Library loans out laptops. All homeworks done. Even got the replacement fee on my debit card waived by being nice to the customer service person.
I'd like to thank devRant for keeping me sane. And I'd like to say I'm fairly proud of my adulting abilities. They're not stellar, but they're pretty okay.4 -
Just who the fuck from apple thought its a good idea to make the FUCKING SCROLL BAR overlap, the FUCKING PROPERTY ARROWS, everytime i accidentaly hover over it? I cant change shit! I have to wait few seconds every time i accidentaly hover over the scrollbar so i can be able to FUCKING CHANGE the value!
Dear Apple Inc,
Fix your shit! We're paying 100$ a year for what? More bugs and toruture? I didnt sign up for this bullshit! Give us back some real quality products, or just buy the company Jetbrains and let them build the IDE for you instead.
12 -
Annoyingly typical office conversation:
Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."
NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.17 -
Company: we care about work/life balance (as long as shit gets done)
Company: we care about mental well-being (except when shit has to be done "now!")
Company: we help each other (we push work around until someone finally do it)
Company: management is here to help you do your work (as long as you don't ask them to help you to solve a real problem)
Company: we are agile (except we have more sub-processes than ever)
Company: we only hire best (and then put them in the team of morons)
Company: we are customer centric (that's why we are delivering bugged features)
Company: we constantly rise the bar (deliver more shit in shorter time)
... did I forget about something?12 -
School sent out a mass email asking students to stop using VPNs to get around sites being blocked. They say their technology team is working on improving filters and shit. Let's be real that isn't going to stop ANYONE lmfao...3
-
"You claim you are a developer and don't know what firebase is? Pfft"
Words uttered by one of my classmates flexing on some 4th semester college inmates. I don't know what's more annoying his squeaky voice, the pretentiousness of using headphones as a necklace during class or that I was just like him when I was a freshman (minus the low hanging fruit flexing).
God fucking damn, I'm not even mad at his obnoxious pampered kid semblance, it's the irony of this enlightened fago falling into the god forsaken rat race. Why?
Because he hasn't been magnanimously disappointed by one of the most corrupt systems I've ever been witness of, yeah keep talking about firebase to the teacher who just nods pretending she knows what you are talking about.
I've had this same teacher before and your nice asynchronous ES6 express nosql solution will come last compared to all the WordPress templates she'll approve because they are pretty and all the time you invested, yeah, right into the crapper, seriously it would've been more satisfying to just masturbate everyday until Christmas break. I'm not pissed at him, annoyed by his semblance maybe, but I actually pitty him because the system will take a big shit on his face and he's just smiling.
Damn it, all these careers ruined by lazy ass professors who think leaving a shitload of diagrams as homework counts as teaching. And before any quirky brother interjects with "oh maybe your University is shit", "muh University verry gut u suk", you shut the fuck up! I know my university sucks even tho is "one of the best ones" by the corrupt media's standards, I'm here to vent about issues, real fucking issues happening in real corrupt systems, I'm taking about professors sexually abusing students, not going to classes, no centralized teaching systems, fucking chaos.
I'm happy for you if you feel good about the piece of paper you hang on your wall that certifies you as Bobby the guy who not only learned a shit load about computers, he also bent his ass so far for us and payed us so much money for it, it's funny he thinks himself as smart.
I know, I know, you went to an ivy league college, have a wonderful job and owe some money, good for you, some are not so lucky and I'll make sure those lazy asses who take advantage of the system lose their jobs.
I'm so sick of this shit we call "moodern educashion"
7 -
I think I'm never laughing again about other people misery.
After this enjoyable rant
https://devrant.com/rants/1261531/...
I got fucked in the ass:
The meeting got delayed to 2018-03-28
They discarded the prototype
I have to develop this fucking shit practically all alone
I'm so fucking pissed that I scheduled a fucking 3 hours meeting to monday and who dares to fucking go off topic on this meeting is gonna be fucking harassed for real.6 -
I got my first job!
A real, full-time job that doesn't pay me shit!
I haven't even graduated Uni yet!
FUCK YEAH! 🍻10 -
Focus on algorithms first and syntax last. Solve problems, then code.
If it uses power, has an I/O interface, and stores code, you can do stuff.
Dont get caught up in the little shit like specific code formatting and who's right or wrong between tabs or spaces. (It should be TABS anyway.)
Don't take shit from anyone.
Be confident not cocky.
Learn GIT as much as you can.
Don't burn out.
Get up and stretch.
Don't argue with your Operating Systems professor about why you shouldn't have to learn Linux.
Don't fall into the "I want to be a game developer" trap. Make your own games on your own time. You won't learn shit at school about it.
9/10 of the real world workforce is who you know, so don't be a dick. Those people might be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak dinner for you.
Charge market competitive rates and set an hourly rate that defines the clientele you deal with.
Don't ever, EVER, do trade or spec work. Free work don't pay the bills. Always start the clock when you're not sleeping, eating, or shitting. If you're emailing, calling, texting, or otherwise interacting with or on behalf of a client, bill them. Don't be a bitch when they decide they don't want to pay you. Get yours. Watch "Fuck You. Pay Me." at least once a month on YouTube.9 -
I officially cut ties with all my family.
Shitty, cringy, egoist people to ever exist.
They treat me like shit. Just use me as their slave all the time and when anything goes wrong, blame me for everything.
I consider you all my family now. Though we are virtual friends but you guys are better than real family.24 -
No... No... No!
The game engine is not in charge of code optimisation, if your program runs like ass; it is 99% going to be your fault...
Sick of seeing people judge engines because of the poorly optimised things made in them by half assed developers... Why do the good things never get any attention where the shit gets all of it... Why?!
(Just had someone crack the shits at me because I'm not using a 'real' engine and am not a a 'real' developer because I'm not using unreal... So I'm in a fan-fucking-tastic mood after that :-D)2 -
I went on an interview was given an algorithm to solve, solved it in 30 mins and they had allocated 20 mins for it. So I guess I suck. I build shit, I don't do algos that often so I'm obviously rusty.
interviewer: so why should we hire you over a CS graduate.
me: cause I can get shit done.
... akward silence
interviewer: what do you mean by that? like html and CSS?
me: as you can see, I have built large scale real-time web apps with React/Redux (the stack they supposedly use and the position they're hiring for!) the knowledge I have is practical, it can't be learned from books, and it can't be learned from a course. Only building, breaking and rebuilding over time will teach you this knowledge. So essentially a CS grad, who hasn't committed the same amount of hours as I have, can't possibly match me. But they probably can better explain the real world applications of using linked lists...and won't have to Google what Pascal's triangle is like I had to....
interviewer: I see. we will be in touch.
lol well I guess they'll be in touch..9 -
Been a while since my last real proper rant.
Multiple projects. Business side going into panic mid. Devs are staying cool as usual.
We, devs, have to hold hands so they don't completely break down.
We are wasting precious time in order to rub their feelings.
Get. Your. Shit. Together.
Or atleast, go cry in a corner AND LET US FUCKING WORK.
STOP. FUCKING. SPAMMING.
Can't fucking work for more than 10 mins.
I go take a shit, I have 200 notifications when I'm back.
Omfg their lives must be so hard, really. How can you fucking go into full retard whenever there's a small roadblock.
DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOB. And let me do mine.
As soon as you let us work, issues are going to be solved, you'll be less stressed and everything will be fine.
Keep asking the same questions over and over, arguing on non-critical things (who cares about wordings... it's 1min change) and the stress will only build up for everyone.
DAMN. Fuck off, fucking emotional idiots.8 -
I'm real tired of my coworkers always trying to one up me and being elitist about their code. Like I get it, you think PHP is shit, C is so much better than Java. Wow, you must be so knowledgeable! /s
Just because you're bashing on bad languages and talking shit doesn't mean you write good code, and in fact your code isn't top quality, I've read it. All you're going to accomplish with an elitist mindset is close yourself off to improving, and that's probably the worst thing you can do as a developer.8 -
Second day on the job, only one with no real degree in software development (did much stuff in free time, just finished school, got the job mainly because i knew people there)
So you can imagine that they were sceptic about me.
Chief executive whatever told me there is a problem with some JavaScript they can't fix cus there is no time and shit for that.
I was like ALL IN and said i could do this in a few mins.
Fixed it in 20 mins. Everyone was cheering. I was like "Well it was the right decision to not do my homework back in the days.." 😁1 -
Let me just delete this symbolic link and leave it copying the folder to the ssd real quick while I go to lunch...
Lessons learned:
1 - don't put a fucking / at the end of `rm -rf /path/to/link`
2 - don't ignore the warning of it being a folder after trying to `rm /path/to/link`
3 - backup your fucking dev database too
4 - don't do stuff hungry
SHIT!! FUCK!!3 -
Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"
Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.7 -
Junior dude in my team: Started working with the expectation to get dirty and go deep into technology (he was in fact a mathematician). The first two months he was happy like a little puppy playing around. Then suddenly he started talking about getting more responsibilities and beeing more a manager than a dev (because development is too stressful). Then on his last day of the probation period he quit out of nowhere because he got a job offer from a place he really wanted to go. He bought one beer per person in my team, but haven't invited my boss to that event. We suddenly realize why: He talked real shit about him!
What a dick!4 -
Commit Message Part2:
6528fff Code was clean until manager requested to fuck it up
241b35f Who knows WTF?!
4381a32 Argh! About to give up :(
c3bf1a9 more debug... who overwrote!
2d68d6d Fixed a bug cause Maciej said to
b112c1a This branch is so dirty, even your mom can't clean it.
bb456d4 Shit code!
4878b46 Copy-paste to fix previous copy-paste
e2c7e87 A fix I believe, not like I tested or anything
f56109f derpherp
e4b8f4c formatted all
3691208 I'm just a grunt. Don't blame me for this awful PoS.
0888b69 just checking if git is working properly...
62741aa I'm too old for this shit!
0735196 COMMIT ALL THE FILES!
09caccf I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
1e1cda8 giggle.
ab70bde Fixed errors
934436d Now added delete for real
5f84e30 My bad
99baff8 CHRIS, WE WENT OVER THIS. C++ IO SUCKS.
953473d final commit.
f0c3b57 Just committing so I can go home
4e5ce4e yolo push
deb4e3b I CAN HAZ PYTHON, I CAN HAZ INDENTS
710c06a Commit committed....
3c45e67 it is hump day _^_
4487788 Committing in accordance with the prophecy.
bf86e7e This solves it.
4804f68 FONDLED THE CODE
051d42e REALLY FUCKING FIXED5 -
Me: *starts to get into electronics*
Me: *unplugs a few wires while building a project*
Me: Shit, actually, didn't want to unplug those. No worries.
Me: *instinctively reaches for the nonexistent Ctrl-Z*
Me: Oh, that's right. My actions have consequences in the real world.5 -
Le Discord login:
*logs in*
Welcome back! Would you please authenticate after your first and successful login, so that we're sure that you're not a bot?
*15 (I shit you not) craptchas later*
New login location detected! Please check your email too!
FOR FUCKING REAL DISCORD!? How about you please just let me fucking log in already? Or are your audience - gamers - really *that* prone to infections that logins from bots are that big of a problem? Because guess what motherfuckers, then you've got *WAY* bigger problems to fix already. FUCKING LET ME IN!19 -
Holy shit! Albert Einstein is a real person!
My whole life I thought he was a theoretical physicist.7 -
Those SEO guys that believe they are some kind of web Gods for building a real crap over WP with a $50 theme and fucking Visual Composer (the most fucked up piece of shit ever) and then ask you to just "optimize" their bloated site so they can get a great score on PageSpeed Insights.
NO.
No way I'm gonna put my hands on that *thing*.6 -
//begin midnight rant
THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)
AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.
as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.
but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)
Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket
Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).
Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.
People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.
I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm
PEACE OUT
//End of mid night rant11 -
Why is it that when someone mentions they really like windows or that someone should/might want to install windows, hardly anything happens (maybe some funny comments from linuxers but no hate or anything) (same goes for OSX) but when someone makes the same comment about linux, they get burned into the ground as a 'Linux nazi'? I am not only talking about devRant (it happens here sometimes as well) but also about my study and real life.
If someone would mention that it might be useful to install windows or OSX over Linux, it was all good but the FUCKING SECOND I mention it might be useful (or other linuxers) to use/install Linux, we are immediately put away as Linux nazi's.
On devRant I've tried to keep this shit to myself because I don't want to start wars but I think I am going to quit doing that and actually show my fucking opinion. Yes, that might also result in some people seeing me as a fucking linux nazi but fuck being burned into the ground every time I give my opinion regarding this.
Fucking hell. (nothing personal to any devRanters by the way but I am starting to get really tired of this shit).40 -
1.
!dev
Found a gray hair and plucked it. 😢 I'm too young for this shit. Whyyyyy oh god whyyyyy.
2.
Linux 5.8 has been breaking my shit. Like, keyboard and track pad stop working. Apparently, a fn key is to blame. Fixed it for now, but can Linux kernel fuck off? I can't have my system break so often. This is the third time I'm reverting or man handling the shit in the last two months.
3.
I need a good expensive fucking vacation. 😢 And a dedicated eye candy (gender doesn't apply) to keep in my line of sight. Maybe then I can recover.
4.
The last 7 days were an emotional rollercoaster. Specifically, from work perspective. I need many hugs. Like, real hugs. Also need good food. 😢
5.
Overall, I shouldn't be stressed but shit is not going great. 😭😭😭21 -
So, 27 hours. 27 hours I've been awake at this point.
I was actually planning on sleeping last night, but I was talking to my ex for a while (until around 2 am). Beat Portal again. Decided to get a thing or two done real quick. By the time I got that shit done, it was like 5, and I have to be up at like 6:45, so I felt like sleeping wasn't worth it anymore. Had a fairly good day at school, managed to stay awake (even through AP chemistry!), kinda started talking to a girl.
I'm fucking tired guys.16 -
Long time lurker, first time poster.
My goals for week 200:
1. Get engaged to my girlfriend
2. Finish my ems
3. Begin plans for launching my startup
4. Leave my deadend retail job, get a real job, and actually use the degree I spent 34k to get.
5. Keep learning cool new shit.1 -
Web advertising has really gotten out of hand.
Most news sites dedicate more real estate to ads than actual content. Even worse, sites like Bloomberg scroll like a janky piece of shit because of all the gaddamn ads constantly loading resources, and phoning home to help the fucks spy on me.
Marketers ruin everything.6 -
I suddenly realized all the technical debt shit I told my boss would happen years ago given the way things were done/heading then... Just occurred pretty much all at once last week in the form of critical production issues...
The teams like:
-we need real time server process monitoring
-structured logging for apps
-containerization so one app didn't affect others
Me thinking: yes.... I told you so like 3/4 years ago when I first joined the team and kept repeating so much I got tired of saying at every annual review...
This is exactly what happens when you let technical debt grow and have no free time for developers to look into and fix then while they were small and not critical production processes... Or properly document and peer review them... (Got a shit pile of projects that no one knows how to use or even exists because the devs left the team) and they'll have a lot more when I finally leave... Hopefully this year.... If I can find another role and not need another medical procedure... (Doubtful)3 -
I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh9
-
*removes Paint 3D as well as a bunch of other apps that I never use*
*Windows shits the bed every now and then again, BSOD here and there like the usual piece of shit it is*
After a few of those occurences..
Windows: Oh look, you want to open this PNG image? Well I guess that I'll open it in my newly (re)installed Paint 3D!!!
Me: For real, Microshit. Just how pushy can you fucking be. If I want to edit images, I'll just use the "legacy" fucking Paint for that, thanks!!! No need to convince me anymore, and get this 3D shit out of my fucking system already!!!
PS C:\WINDOWS\system32> Get-AppxPackage *paint* | Remove-AppxPackage
AND NOW JUST FUCK OFF, FUCKING PAINT 3D!!!13 -
My progression of learning git rebase:
Year 1: WTF just happened?! Where is my code?! *deletes and re-clones repo*
Year 2: Ok if I do it suuuper carefully I can get the other dev's one-line change into my branch...shit...shit...wait...fuck...oh lol it worked.
Year 3: Oh yeah let me organize my commits real quick. *drop pick pick squash reword pick fixup drop pick* *git push -f* 😎6 -
Splash pages. Remember that crap from 20 years ago? That was a home page with some "click to enter" nonsense to get to the actual home page. Laughably stupid.
Today's empty home pages where you have to scroll down to get to any real content is exactly the same moronic pattern, just by another name: showing off useless design wankery and forcing user interaction to bypass it. Fuck you if you still do that shit.29 -
27 years old, been in 3 jobs. Hired in a new job. Confidence has went up and down like shit. Life has become more real than ever before.
What have I learned through all these bumpy rides?
Life is journey, it goes up and it goes down. But what you may not realize is that everything that happens to you, is for you to learn.
Happy Friday to everyone in this unknown path, just enjoy that you are alive, can breathe and see things with your magical eyes.
God exists for sure.13 -
It is time. I have to admit it.
I don't understand Git.
I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.
I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.30 -
Today is the real fuckening at work. The worst part is, you are working your ass off and someone started bugging you constantly on chat and blaming it is effecting his "productivity" because tech team doesn't solve his problem.
I have 4 projects under me with doing day to day operations also. But yeah just few more months before I left this shit. I wanted to shout back, but tried to keep my head cool, though I have already kicked his face many times in my mind.
If you cannot help, at least stop being a dick and appreciate someone trying his best to solve problems.
4 -
Hiring process is fucking broken ok?
We all do have something else to do, nobody wants to do "homework" for 4 fucking hours. Which let's be real, isn't 4 hours. It's always more. I try to squeeze it in a least amount of time which means mistakes will be made. I always try to show my knowledge of the language and it's features. But, you didn't do X. That's it, that is a no from us.
Dude, I just wrote a high production grade small project with 90%+ test coverage and you are telling me that those 2 small shit I made is a big deal? Fuck off
Most companies I worked with have a code full of shit and here I present to you, with a poetry and it's a no because of X?
My bet is that if I ever started to work there I would find a code that isn't tested and is in shit state
\rant4 -
the internet was so good before corporate interests took everything over and made it garbage
before you found real people, instead of shills
real hobbies, instead of someone wanting to sell you knockoff shit by pretending to have information on your hobby
real information, instead of stupid politics which pretend information doesn't exist and keep changing Wikipedia pages or brigading forums with spam or reporting websites or servers as violating rules to remove innocent people and ruin their shit
before you could find tools and use them
and there were no ads
even when there were ads they were just banner ads where you got free iPods and maybe a virus
but they didn't subscribe you to their service monthly and then play psychological tricks on you so you couldn't cancel
even when the popups came we had popup blockers, and the web browsers were on our side and made the feature widespread and viewed the popups as malicious, and now the world's biggest ad company serves the most popular "open source" browser and is in a war against usability because they have to display their brain malware ads to you or else
and you'd get excited to get an email, instead of annoyed it's more fucking corporate spam you don't want from a random website that required you to give your email address so you could've bought a trinket for your friend Bob's birthday that one time and now their subscriber list keeps "forgetting" you unsubscribed
phones have a billion sensors but the app stores are so infested with bullshit none of it matters
it's all rot
everything is starving and making your life worse
we used to do so much with so little
and now we have so much and leave it all on the table to throw poop at each other
don't forget that brigade science tells you nostalgia is you remembering something to be better than it was. be gaslit. webpages disappear now, too. they get changed. archive.org has the records, and got DDoSed the other day. I knew this day would happen. everyone who lies would love for there to be no archives, no records. to burn the modern books5 -
Some more of Stux's !dev pet peeves
1) Teenagers who comment shit like "I'm from the wrong generation" or "today's music is trash. This is real music" on songs from like the 70s and 80s. Like shut the fuck up. You can like whatever music you want, but your taste in music doesn't make you unique, so just shut the fuck up and listen to the music. I was jamming out to 70s and 80s when I was 9, so you aren't the first to enjoy older music at a young age
2) "Old heads" who comment shit like "this isn't real *genre*" on a new song that isnt like the older version of that genre. News flash: music fucking evolves. Just because that country song doesn't have a twangy guitar in it, that doesn't mean the song ain't country. Just because the rap song ain't some deep ass poetic shit, it doesn't make it any less of a rap song.
3) People who edit their comments on YouTube to say shit like "wow thanks for all the likes, I wasn't expecting this." Wooptie fucking doo. Your comment got a few thousand likes. Fun fact: those likes are meaningless.
4) Humidity. Fuck that shit man.
5) General education classes. They're a fucking pain in the ass man. Like im 98% confident I don't need art history in the real world. Or mythology. "tHeY tEaCh YoU tO lEaRn." Teach me to learn in degree specific classes then. At least their content will be interesting to me.
My name is Stuxnet. Thanks for coming to my TED talk again.20 -
Call me a spoiled Linux kid but FUCK WINDOWS UPDATE!!
It's not even the shitty deployment cycle that they have for their updates, the real cancer is the fucking update app.
First off, if you fucking piece of shit already have the audacity to load gigabytes of updates over my 0.8mbit/s connection in the background, without my goddamn consent, at least let me PAUSE the fucking download!!! I don't see why the fuck you have to block my connection, and therefore me, from the most basic things like visiting a fucking website for more than a FUCKING HOUR to load useless updates, YOU PIECE OF BLOODSTAINED SHIT, I GOT SHIT TO DO.
And it doesn't stop there, noooo: then you even have the bloody fucking nerve to FORCE ME TO INSTANTLY RESTART AND SIT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING 40 MINUTE UPDATE PROCESS WHILE IM TRYING TO WORK.. WITHOUT THE ABILIT TO DELAY THE UPDATE!!! What the fuuuck?!
It is seldom that I am this 👌 close to just dd'ing /dev/null to my windows partition. Fuck you!!17 -
When you don't use OOP for a casual project, but then shit gets real and you have to redesign the whole thing3
-
Samsung Pay > Apple Pay
There I said it. After testing Apple Pay, Google Wallet, and now Samsung Pay I am convinced that Samsung Pay is the best. It works great and the rewards points that you get for using it are just awesome.
Side note: wtf Apple!? The iPhone 8 is the iPhone 7 plus wireless charging and the iPhone X is just a $1000 piece of flashy ass shit that's only real "innovations" are Face ID and animojis.6 -
so ive been looking for a java internship for the past days but fuck me, ive made a very huge mistake......
I FORGOT TO ADD JAVA TO MY CURRICULUM
*flips chair*
*flips table*
*flips shit*
hopefully they will see my extra message/letter and read because if they only look at my cv, and see theres no java there, im gonna be rejected real fast :(
wish me luck guys, i went from job hunting to internship hunting bc im reallt desperate now7 -
Fuck... coming from a Python background learning low level stuff is hard as shit.. gonna need to learn C/C++ and some Assembly real soon!
Gotta say though, understanding that stuff makes everything have more sense all of a sudden hahah6 -
Today my grandmother called and told me she wasnt able to login to her account for her ISP. Alright, maybe shes confused about the passwords as we had to change it recently. No, turns out they still have this "oh sorry you typed your password incorrect three times, so we will lock your account and your granny have to do the 2 hour telephone queue"
You and your fucking outdated auth practise can go and kindly fuck yourself. Fix this shit before I get real mad.5 -
Got an email in response to an internship application asking "if you can just complete a coding challenge within next 24 hours thanks". They also wanted to me to setup a phone interview today or tomorrow. As if they expected everyone to drop everything with no explanation.
Told them I'm busy but can get started on Sunday, and was told they have assessment centres next week so it can't wait. No real apology.
I didn't set the date for the assessment centre, this is your fuckup. You have to at least feign respect when you ask for a day of my time with less than a week's notice. Been through too many bad interviews to waste my time on a company that doesn't have its shit together and/or doesn't respect interns.
Idk, maybe I overreacted. Thoughts?4 -
for real i can't imagine what all you people are doing wrong getting those blue screens in windows all the time reasoning your change to Linux. been using it like forever and had experienced some in the early days, very few in windows 8.1 when i was messing with some drivers and shit but not a single one since windows 10 while using it normally on a daily base.
sure, there is a lot to rant about in windows generally justifying a change to Linux but are you talking about windows 98 or fucking raping your system till it BsoD's just to point at it and say: oh Linux is so much better because i don't get BsoD's all the time? or are you using 10 year old hardware?
enlighten me pls21 -
why the fuck does my printer not work for linux. dammit! i tried everything and this piece of shit epson xp-400 dont want to print. im about to print a fucking sledge hammer to it real soon!6
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Last week I sent a pic of Nestle Crunch chocolate to my friend in Whatsapp. Today he told me that he got an ad in Instagram for Nestle Crunch!! Holy crap!
We were trying to figure out how did it happen because we never discussed about the chocolate other than that image. Then I realized that Whatsapp and Instagram was owned by the same fucking company - Facebook!!!
I've stopped using Facebook, Instagram for a very long time and I have ad blockers on every electronic device I touch. So I never understood the gravity of people losing shit over privacy, until today. This indeed is creepy and it hit me real hard. I'm now reading all rants with "privacy" tags and methods to harden my devices to repel from those buggers.10 -
First time rant here, and I'm just gonna let fucking loose because this seems to be a good place for it.
My uni can't teach programming for shit. It's the reason people sign up for the course. They want to know how to program. I'm self-taught and unhappy in college as it is.
I joined CS because I thought they'd assimilate work in the real world, which is experience I need. I realized early on that programming is like art, and I love the rush I get of something finally working right.
That said, they sucked the fun out of it. It's too structured. Everyone trying to get the same goddamn result. In the real world, we'd be working on a larger project that involved planning, design, communication, teamwork, and the ability to complete each of our own pieces of the puzzle and subsequently put them together in a project that works for the end user.
I'm paying to be a fucking sheep, people. Why do employers give a shit about a degree instead of talent? Welp, fuck society for this. You can tell me I can drop it and still get a good job, it'll just be harder. That's the fucking problem. I can't get a job if these incompetent fucking bastards will throw out my resumé the moment they see "self-taught."
If we could hire based on GitHub contributions, I think many of us here would be relatively better off. Programmers program, not socialize. We do socialize, but in our own little groups. We team up as needed. The moment the jackass in HR realizes that, the better off we'll be.
Sorry, just the way I'm seeing shit right now. I'm going through some OCD-induced depression and this might be a result of that, but I'm passed the point of giving a fuck.15 -
Nightmare IRL:
Your colleague is in PTO for 2 weeks.
You are in charge of maintaining his project along with yours, CI, code, tests and everything.
Your colleague's code base is a real master piece of shit when you look at it closer. By shit, I mean hardcoded values everywhere, random sleeps now and then, 20 if branches that could be replaced by maps, variables named a b c d everywhere, try catch to silence errors that should not be silenced, etc.
Your colleague left the CI and code broken as shit. Takes forever to run on my goddamn computer.
PMs are spamming you: "What is going on? It's red everywhere. Help! Plz fix this! We are going to release tomorrow!"
FML6 -
Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.
So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.
Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?7 -
Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).
This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.1 -
The guy who became my manager just pushes to the prod branch.
On a repo where another team clearly set up development and production branches.
This guy has been pushing code like crazy and I always wanted to take my time setting things up properly in our team: TDD, CI/CD, etc.
Because he pushed so much he became my manager and I was seen as unproductive.
Data Science and software development best practices just dont coexist it seems.
Yeah yeah, it's up to me to start introducing good practices, but atm "getting it done" takes priority over the real based shit.4 -
I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.
He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.
I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.5 -
So I'm writing some multithreaded shit in C that is supposed to work cross-platform. MingW has Posix threads for Windows, so that saved already half of the platform dependency. The other half was that these threads need to run external programs.
Well, there's system(), right? Uhm yes, but it sucks. It's incredibly slow on Windows, and it looks like you can have only one system() call ongoing at the same time. Which kinda defeats the multithreaded driver. Ok, but there's CreateProcessA(), and that doesn't suck.
Fine, now for Linux. The fork/exec hack is quite ugly, but it works and is even fast. Just never use fork() without immediate exec(). First try under Cygwin... crap I fork bombed my system! What is this shit? Ah I fucked up the path names so that the external executable couldn't be run.
Lesson learnt: put an exit() right after the exec() in the path for child process. Should never be reached, but if it goes there, the exit() at least prevents a fork bomb.
Well yeah, sort of works under Cygwin, but only with up to 3 threads. Beyond that, it seems like fork() at some point gives two processes the same PID, and then shit hangs.
Even slapping a mutex around the fork and releasing it only in the parent process didn't help. Fork in Cygwin is like a fork in the ass. posix_spawn() should work better because it can be mapped more easily to the Windows model, but still no dice.
OK, testing under real Linux. Yeah, no issues with that one! But instead, I get some obscure "free(): invalid size" abort. What the fuck would that even mean?! Checking my free() calls: all fine.
Time to fire up GDB in the terminal! Put a catch on the abort signal, mh got just hex data. Shit I forgot to compile with -O0 and -g. Next try. Backtrace shows the full call trace, back to the originating line in my program - which is fclose() on a file.
Ahhh I remember! Under Linux, fclosing a file that is already closed makes the program crash. So probably I was closing it twice. Checking back.. yeah that's where it was.
Shit runs fast on several cores now!8 -
IIS is a piece of shit. Windows is for playing video games and looking at stupid memes, not for real work. Defenders say that wInDoWs SeRvEr Is PoWeRfUl REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, but it only appears powerful because microshit took all of the things that normal servers can do easily, split it up nonsensically, and hid it in bizarre places in an overdesigned and FUCKING CONFUSING set of config menus. No one can change my mind about this.11
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Is it just me or Social media has made everyone philosophers automatically.
Like pretty dumb and hopeless folks you know in real life be posting some smart and motivational shit they copied off of some random site.
Dude get your dumbass off my screen mehn...coming around here giving advice on how to make my life better...have you seen your life lately?
It can't be just me...13 -
General approach : I'm wasting my time by just sitting in front of computer all day. Since I'm freelancer, almost all of my work can be done at one place. They think, I should get a REAL job.
When they need help with tech : I'm the guy who knows everything about tech and can fix their mobile, printer, toaster, washing machine and nuclear warfare.
When it comes to admiring what I do, I'm just a useless piece of shit but, when they need technical assistance I'm their lord and savior!!1 -
The moment when even Google show no realted searches, is the moment when you realise you are in some real shit !!!
#stuckupcode #noclue1 -
Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.
Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)5 -
Damn simulation.
Some juniors grabbed keyboard and reprogrammed main species to stay at home and fear of death while I was busy working with other features.
Moreover someone made additional changes from infected computer and guess what....
Unfortunately it’s real time system with increasing entropy and we can’t revert changes so fixing damn shit would take from one to two decades.
We don’t have backups cause last time we used them we also killed dinosaurs.
It would be just easier to erase everything and start from beginning cause our statistics charts are fucked up - again but motherfucker boss don’t want to do it.
He’d rather teleport again to adjust the world. Damn fucker thinks he’s god but in fact he’s just prick with rich parents.
I’ve decided to piss him off by adjusting planet thermostat so we can start over.
2 years more and changes would be irreversible.
Damn job.6 -
Dumbass made me update site with broken code ...
After git pulling I got an ich and tested it...
So the following talk happened:
Me: feature x is still broken (it was working before...)
Dass: yeah, I just wanna make some screenshots of it from another machine that has windows.
Me: OK, I just rolled the changes back, you can access the other machine at lan...
Me inside: OOOHHHH YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT MADE ME GET UP FROM BED AND START MY FUCKING COMPUTER FOR THIS BULLSHIT IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!? FOR REAL??? GET YOU SHIT TOGETHER ASSHOLE! -
I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)
And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.
Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.
I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./
Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.
I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.
Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.
People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.4 -
Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer
Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say4 -
Murphy's law is completely true.
Deployed my own software the very first time on a customer system on monday.
Today I'm at a job college class when my boss calls me: "...Hey yeah (unrelated) (yadda yadda) the software does not function for anyone").
I fucking knew it.
We don't have a proper project planning nor a real project manager/lead, we don't do QA, and now it's gone to shit.
I did my own testing extensively on monday & Tuesday, everything looked alright and worked like a charm.
I'm looking forward to the weekend already...1 -
TL;DR;
Idiot hard coded database host on the app... Pushed to prod and suddenly shit wasn't working... Took me 10 minutes to figure out what was going on...
Wrote a passive aggressive git message and commited.
Before updating prod my boss turns around to me and the following took place:
Boss: is there any problem with the server?
Me: yes, someone (i know who was ) hard coded the test db IP and it broke the backend.
Boss: oh, but will it affect the mobile app?
Me: well, it won't work but I'm already pushing the fix.
Boss: no..err.. I mean... Will I have to make any change to the mobile app?
Me inside: wtf dude... For real?! Get your shit together...
Me: no. It good, I already fixed it.
Boss: OK. Thanks
TL;DR;
Moron hard coded dB's host and stupid boss can't get shit together nor ask who did it to take precautions...12 -
So someone decides that the employees need to do these stupid Web-based training's that not even high school kids should be looking into.
What is about ?
Security and Cryptography, and now event the real stuff.
What it covers?
Alice and Bob, Bob and Alice.
Alice wants Bob some pics/messages that she suspects someone else will see. DDDDDDAAAAAAAFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK
A total of 7 useless time wasting interactive and annoying training's, 20+ min each.
But someone forgot that please do not send this shit to engineers of your company, specially Software/Network engineers. Oh another subset, specially not to those who work deeper into the domain.
I'm getting paid to do this time wasting activity, and still.
I also may come back and remove this BUT FOR NOW I NEED TO RANT. -
Shaving with an old-style safety razor just rocks - that metal thing consisting of three pieces where a slotted, double edged razor blade fits in. With the good Russian Astra Platinum blades at 10 cent per piece where a hundred piece pack lasts for years. The whole thing can be fully dismantled and cleaned.
I can't understand why people use this modern overpriced Gillette shit at 2 EUR per piece that you can't even clean, with debris stuck in-between that starts to rot if you use the blade block more than once. Must be brainwashing by ads. Even worse for women who pay 50% extra for the pink version of that unhygienic shit.
Oh, and real shaving soap with a real shaving brush and not the canned aerosol garbage that doesn't really work anyway.8 -
Today is the day when I declare that I once and for all cancel all SJW-attracting topics.
Social relations is a hard topic and it seems like people just can't live together. There is always some group that oppress some other group.
Today I declare that I don't care about all this shit. It bothers me, it weakens me, it makes my health worse. Can I live like 60 more years (I'm keeping things real about my remaining time here) without touching SJW topics? I think I can.
My life would be different. I'm quitting acknowledging SJW topics existence, I'm quitting talking about them. They don't exist for me.
For now I'm planning to focus on art.
Fuck everyone who discriminate, also fuck everyone who fight discrimination with another kind of discrimination.13 -
My problem with a lot of free resources/class assignments is we're being forced to make useless shit. For instance, an interactive textbook we use has some stupid fucking turtle assignments.
Why not make it something relevant? One of the first things i ever made was a Fahrenheit to Celcius converter. That's a real world application, since not many can calculate that math in their head.3 -
I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.8 -
Was an aspiring 2nd grade student then, still a newbie in databases and stuff.
Managed to work with bossy motherfucker who didn't give a flying fuck about proper management, team culture, job roles and everything and treated people like shit.
The big boss wanted me to develop the ecommerce website that integrates with 1c (complete and utterly garbage buggy ass dbms with RUSSIAN SYNTAX, nuff said) and with its own crm to track every employee and even real time chat. He also wanted it to be a kind of online medical wikipedia. And he wanted me to take a professional photo of each and every fucking item for this website, somewhere around 5 thousand photos.
He offered me around 800 bucks for all that job. No, not monthly. He wanted me to do all that shit alone, for 800 bucks and expected it to be up and running in less than two months.
Gently told him to fuck off. Quit that job the same day.2 -
Youtube coding influncers are shit and do not know anything about the real world coding....
Am I the only one who feels like this???
And aren’t there way too many of em????9 -
Liferay. Fucking Liferay.
I'm mostly C#, Java Dev with only a year of experience and as Kruger-Dunning effect says, I thought I'm not that bad. At the beginning of my job I've got tasked with creating an portlet for Liferay CMS which is written in Java. Can't be that bad, right? WRONG.
Liferay is real shit. Not only there is little to none community life but also documentation and tutorials are outdated! Many methods are doing the same functionality but are in different packages. JSP make coding a big fucking mess if you won't make shit ton of classes to clean it up. Also it has this incredible ability to crash whole portlet after a small change in classes structure.
I have to mention that no one could help me because company that I'm working for is a rather small one and there's no other Java developer beside me. This also means that it's hard to really get gut when no one is oversying my progress.
Also I really dislike web development. And Liferay made it even worse. I hope it will burn in hell.1 -
Go to the vacation.
Return back to see all those useless features that should not be part of the MVP, that I have previously rejected multiple times, poorly implemented...
Now we have to maintain this shit, that nobody even uses in real life...
Fucking imaginary use cases... -
A real chef will rant about a freaking knife sharpness and weight and handle and all that shit. Because a real chef knows what he is holding.
Us? We are happy as long as the knives in our hands can cut some stuffs or stab some people.
// Disclaimer : I just left this comment on a rant where OP claimed many users (average users) have no issues with a particular OS while a bunch of self proclaimed developers have lots of trouble with that particular OS.2 -
My life is basically a loop of:
1) “I’m in a slump and terribly depressed because of my lack of productivity.”
2) “I know! I’ll try using the strategies that proved to make me very productive”.
3) “I’m very productive right now, that’s because I’m so smart and talented, it’s just part of me”
4) Back to step 1
Im an unaccomplished idiot with a big ego. Why do I have an ego if I don’t have any real accomplishments????
Dear god, I will become a fucking egotistical moron the day I actually do something worthwhile.
I’m a goddamn fucking piece of shit.5 -
For the last week or so I've been writing a userbot for Telegram. Completely from scratch, plus Telethon to not reinvent the wheel entirely. I'm coming from the codebase of an existing userbot.
That userbot is written by a good friend of mine, who makes 6 figures, and whom I respect greatly. However the code is a steaming pile of shit. Now that is not his fault, he largely inherited that code too, tried to fix it, failed, gave up.
I am reimplementing it entirely. I'm only looking at the modules, trying to understand them, and copying over the necessary bits and changing them where necessary. But I've come across some nasty shit.
Userbots often edit existing messages from real Telegram clients. They're kind of like a login to your account, but with a program rather than a regular client. You send a message from a real client, it sees it and does whatever it needs to, and edits your message to give you feedback. Which is great.
However, there's no need to do simple string edits by importing "re". So why do you? Because you're an idiot, that's why. The old bot is based on Paperplane, which in turn is based on Telethon. Why do I see function calls to Telethon in some places and Paperplane in others? Because you're an idiot, that's why. Why does the dig module fail to even give correct answers? Because you know nothing about the DNS, that's why. And you didn't learn about RRs before implementing it.
And don't you tell me that this code is shit, and this bot is slow only when I run it on a fucking Pentium. I run this shit on an i7 and CPU isn't even the issue - memory, disk and such are. If you had any clue whatsoever about efficiency, you would've known because it's blatantly obvious. There's a reason why my machines rarely go past 5% CPU utilization. It's the fastest component in the entire fucking system.
When users come and say.. hmm this application of yours, it consumes a lot of memory. It takes a long time to do X and Y and I don't quite understand why, it seems illogical. Then maybe you should go look at your code, like you would look at yourself in the mirror. And then you fucking go fix it so that I don't have to. You're an engineer just like I am. And I am not even a dev proper - I'm a sysadmin by trade. Why should I have to fix your shit for you?1 -
Why is LinkedIn such a shitty asshat cringe piece of shit stewed with fakeness and boiled with preposterous dramatic assholes trying to be cool and professional but in real life are fucktards.8
-
The debugging process is often complicated.
There are often many factors involved in troubleshooting an error, but usually I have a hunch.
Sometimes I'll ignore my hunch and try other, smaller fixes first. This will irritate me for a while until I actually go after my hunch, run the program, and INSTANTLY everything works again.
Found myself relating that to real life today when I had a slight belly ache and eventually decided to take a massive shit and INSTANTLY felt better. The relief was so quick that I actually looked up and paused in surprise.3 -
!dev
Been away from here for over a year.
Tried meditation, tried working out, tried eating more #00FF00s.
I'm a super calm person and rarely rant over shit in real life but I learned that really little things can replace ranting over random shit on the internet and having people come here to read just exactly that and relate.
I think I'm back :) <34 -
Real Incident (India)
So, this one time, out of the Blue, my engineering manager said "Let's, Shit together sometime."
I was like "Yeah, Sure. Sounds like a great Idea."
**-(Wondering why am I always so Agreeable to her 😒)
She has a bit of an accent and I realised she actually meant "Sit".
What a bummer!!! I was really looking for some intimacy, not the ideal way, but, it was something nonetheless.
Ha!
Back to the Screen, now!
4 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
!dev
STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION MY ASS! random() IS MORE RELIABLE THAN YOU!
I rarely go outside, but whenever i do so from my grandparents you must disappoint me. Literally the least crowded streets in this city and you nail it to arrive 20min. to late. I could have walked to street with the lightly dressed women and get some real service in the meantime.
FUCK YOU
Sincerely, the guy who will be to late to celebrate his own birthday with his friends3 -
This is some real shady shit...
I was trying to set my office 365 account we got from school to gmail in my phone and this is what it wants to be able to do. In summary (Dutch screenshots):
- It can disable important safety features,
- Lock me out of my phone at any moment,
- Encrypt all data,
- Or just erase all of it
- And watch me while they do it
Nice.
3 -
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
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This is the current condition of tcs in india.
Fucking servers are busy providing sessions from 3 hours.
This is a contest organised by tcs india for college student and this was a demo round(mockvita). Just to prepare students for the real challenge.
6 hour challenge , i completed it in 3 and now when its my turn to upload the java file its showing me this fucking shit. I fucking coded for 3 hours straight and now when the shit is working, their servers just say fuck off.
Its a global contest and this shit is happening for real.
5 -
So I have this "Software Engineering" course of this semester.
According to course curriculum we are supposed to taught "how to develop software for some real life problem".
Fast forward to this day. For FUCKING 8 WEEKS WE ARE GONNA JUST DO DOCUMENTATION(SRS, Problem description, features description etc) AND IMPLEMENT WHOLE PROJECT IN JUST ONE WEEK.
BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKING SHIT PROFESSOR....7 -
We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅7 -
Today the struggle was real.
But damn if it isn't days like this where you learn real shit.
Fighting with a debian VM for half the day to make a local development environment. I'm tired, but everything works, the project looks good, and I'm just sorta angry/tired/proud now.
I learned so much, and now want pie. I am going to go eat some pie.3 -
* TALKS to someone from Portland about a potential Amtrak trip to Portland.
*opens youtube after an hour or so*
Top suggestion -> TOP 25 things to do in PORTLAND
Good old days where we use to laugh off such "coincidences" as Paranoia! Now this shit scares me for real7 -
What the fuck Microsoft !! Your android apps are total piece of shit! Fucking outlook Android app don't have support to view doc file which is created using your shitty Microsoft teams portal.
If I click on that doc file link through my outlook app, you redirect me to chrome.
Ok that's still acceptable. But the real shit starts now. You tell me that your browser isn't supported! Is this fucking joke?? Who in the world develops a website which can't support latest version of Android chrome?
Now that I have installed your shitty Microsoft teams app, it doesn't show up in "open with" options. Clicking on that link is still redirecting to the chrome saying that browser is unsupported.
Also, your shitty Microsoft teams app can't edit fucking doc file. When I click on your Microsoft word icon, You again ask me to install Android app for Microsoft word.
Seriously fuck you Microsoft and your shitty apps!
1 -
Fuck this shitty C ecosystem! Multible compilers, one standard complying, one hacked toghether? Only one GPL poisoned standart library, with no real chance of switching it, which prevents me of making staticly linked programs? And then there is microsofts compiler, with fucking ANSI support. Thanks. No dependency handling. Concurrency? pthreads. Are you fucking kidding. JSON? Have fun finding something static. Compile times where you can read entire books. Segfaults without one helpful info, so you have to debug with prints. And every library, every tool, installer, compiler, stdlib, anything is poisoned by GPL. But hey, its fast. And efficient. After you spend many slow and inefficient months developing something. I am so done with this shit.
Well.
Tommorow i will continue working with C on my backup project.
Did i mention that the stdlib has no features? Not even threading? Which is IN THE STANDARD?8 -
Google search can get fucked in the ass.
Greedy fucking bastards deceptively including ads as normal results.
It used to be just one, but I've seen crazy shit, like 4 ads in one search results. FOUR.
And it's not just the ads. It's all the fucking litter that they put above the results.
I'm talking about all this fucking Google Maps and web cards bullshit.
It takes too much goddamned space, and most of the times I DO NOT GIVE SHITS ABOUT THEM.
And if you want to hide that shit, guess what, you gotta go into the settings. How about you include a fucking corner X that I can click so I can hide immediately hide that shit when I want to?
Now, let's analyze the unholy mess that the image I included is:
The search I did is a simple "html form". Notice that the fucking Adblock is turned ON, yet I still get a "chameleon" ad.
The first real result is from w3schools that also expands on two also hideous things: sitelinks.
Sitelinks are nothing more than spacehogs that I very very rarely click. They look fancy, but they just add CLUTTER.
What are search result n 2 and 3? w3fools again. And I shit you not the next 2 results to those are also w3schools again. So 5 w3fucks links TOTAL.
Wow, google, I'm fucking mindblown, excellent fucking job for a trillion dollar corporation.
Get fucked in the ass.
12 -
In an art school. 3 years into our artistic degree. They decided to teach us web development. Me coming from a background of web though that this was going to be easy.
Little did I know that I'll see a new perspective of web design. These people, many of whom do not know of flat design, are actually making real shit that looks gorgeous! I love my classmates! -
Starting to feel like shit about my new job. Every task my boss gives me I return with a "sorry it can't be done" for one reason or another. At first it was because user interface testing is a nightmare, then it was because the API postman tests he wanted is for endpoints we haven't exposed so it can't be done and the automated login on postman and retrieval of cookie information can't be done through postman because it requires rendering the site in a browser. I feel worthless to the company but I also feel he keeps making up tasks for me without checking if they're actually useful to us or even possible first, rather than let me touch any of the real code.. I don't know if I should just quit tbh.15
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Honestly?
No way.
No matter what you give up for your family and friends.
It's never enough.
"You're always tired"
"You're not interested enough in my/our stuff"
"No wonder you won't proceed with your carrier, when you act like that"
C'mooooooon!
Give me a chance to build up a regular life.
Most Ppl = Egotistical piles of crap.
Sorry for this dark rant :/2 -
Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.
As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.
Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.
Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.
The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking." -
I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.
Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.
So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.
Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.
Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.
Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.1 -
I don't want to do web development for much longer....as in, i wanna stop fucking around with php, java, python, chashtag and whatnot and focus more on systems development. I would not mind writting servers and playing with the web as long as I don't have to see a line of html or css any longer.4
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FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCK WORDPRESS
Who the fuck thought "Oh lets put all caches in the options table". This is so incredible dumb. The options table has nearly 8GB and is just unusable. The query for the "real options" takes about 3s. To export this fucking shit I had to block the prod server for 20 minutes to get a db dump. I want to womit in the mouth of the fucking idiot who did this.6 -
Putting mobile phone to DnD.
Putting on Bluetooth headsets with ANC, blasting some good shit music.
Violently cooking or desperately ordering food at the good restaurants.
While waiting, grinding some coffee beans, making fresh coffee or some nice tea with milk.
Laying on the sofa in a food induced coma, turning on any streaming service with the real bad shitty movies.
Hentai Kamen, The Machine Girl, ...
Anything thats either pure groteske bullshit or that doesn't require more than a braincell cause it appeals either to the violent or complete nonsense side of my brain.
Last but not least, a few cold beers.
ANC headset stays on, just switching from music to tv - shutting out all the outside noise.1 -
"My Website is beautiful"
"Mine Is better"
"No yours is shit"
FUCK OFF!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN
About HOW FUCKING overloaded your COCKSITE Is! I DONT GIVE A SHIT!
Why? Because of TWO MOTHERFUCKING REASONS!
First: I dont GIVE A SINGLE FUCK
Second:
MOTHERFUCKINGWEBSITE.COM IS THE REAL SHIT2 -
Back when I was still in school for comp sci we had an advanced software engineering and design class with c++. At this time, everyone was expected to be proficient enough with cpp to go ahead and properly work with whatever the instructor would throw at us. And pretty much everyone was since past classes included a lot of c++ development. Of course, efficient at least related to academic studies rather than actual real world development.
Our teacher would mix in a lot pf phyisics and mathematics into what we were doing, something that I greatly enjoyed, while at the same time putting real world value concerning cpp best practices to avoid common pitfalls in the development of said language. Since most bugs seemed to be memory based he would be particularly strict about that.
One classmate, good friend and an actual proper developer now a days would ALWAYS forget to free his resources...ALWAYS for whatever fucking reason he would just ignore that shit, regardless of how much the instructor would make a point on it.
At one point during class on a virtual lecture the dude literally addressed a couple of students but when he got to my boy in particular he said: "you are the reason why people are praying to Mozilla and Hoare to release Rust as fast as possible into a suitable alternative to high performant code in C++, WHY won't you pay attention to how you deal with memory management?"
And it stuck with me. I merely a recreational cpp dev, most of my profesional work is done on web development, so I cannot attest to all the additional unsafe code that people encounter in the wild when dealing with cpp on a professional level.
But in terms of them common criticisms of C and C++ for which memory is so important to work with, wouldn't you guys say that it comes more from the side of people just not knowing what they are doing rather than a fault on the language itself?
I see the merits and beauty of Rust, I truly do, it is a fantastic language, with a standardized build system and a lot of good design put into it. But I can't really fathom it being the cpp killer, if anything, the real cpp killers are bad devs that just don't know what they are doing or miss shit.
What do y'all ninjas think?8 -
You will think you are having a bad day, until you come on devRant and read so real shit happening to people.
And, I honestly do find most of the rants here to be fucking hilarious.
I know and understand that these are real frustrations people are going through; but bitch, can I laugh if I find your rant funny? And use some symbols too?10 -
Pressing ctrl+s in sql dev when checking packages.. you accidentally press space or sth and later ctrl s it compiles.. then shit gets real when you accidentaly lock up everything on prod db..2
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Hitting a really deep, deep low in the manic-depressive roller-coaster of the development cycle:
There comes the crunch time. No meeting goes by hearing the odious: "We don't have time for that." - One critical component needs to be finished for Big Sur and instead of addressing the real issues we keep changing design and goal. One main dev already gave up fighting the PO and team lead(!) - and now I'm next. So that dev build this really clean and minimal library as the core part. But now it's just like, yeah, take that nice Porsche engine put it on the old rusty bicycle from the shed,.. but maybe because that's so shitty we need that specially formed exhaust pipe to tune it. Yeah, very 'agile' - Only thinking about it makes me shudder in disbelief and anger. I shouldn't take that shit so serious, be emotional about shit code, I know, but I can't. Let them drive some rounds around the block, if it runs at all,.. because until now we still didn't make it run on the fuckin' street. It's all so insane. Will make some nice fireball, when it goes up in flames.
Well, I have been part of quite some shitty projects. Real suicide commandos set out to fail, and somehow stood them through or made it even "work" though it should never have. But what enrages me here is, that it needn't to be that way. We had plenty of time. Our team was often rowing along in good rhythm. And now I just feel drowned in resignation and sarcasm. -
So the last 2 devs who I really looked up to and respected at my company peaced out within the last 2 months. So I began seriously chasing offers while the market was hot. The new bigwigs that were brought in at the company knew I was one of the biggest flight risks, so they threw more money at me without me asking for it.
I just got an offer from a company that I really like that matched the salary that I was bumped to - to them it exceeds my expectations because they did not know about this preemptive bump.
Best part is, I applied to this company on my own, the old fashioned way. No recruiter as my hype person or negotiator. I made a good impression on them myself.
No, wait, the real best part - they offered me a senior level role after seeing my code in a day-long working interview (virtual of course). I mean I had to do some shit with RabbitMQ, which I had heard about and seen in passing, but never worked with before, which to my own surprise, I got working in a matter of a few hours. Blows my mind that someone outside of my old company actually thinks I'm good.
No, wait, the REAL real best part: I've spent the last 4 years - a large majority of my professional career - at my current company. I experienced a lot of growth, but they shoehorned me into a development manager role, which bummed me out as i found myself getting farther and farther away from the code. I'm so excited to get a fresh start and go back to spotify + code for 10 hours a day. -
Developing and deploying in Xcode is some Requiem for a Dream level bullshit.
I literally just de selected everything for managing automatic signing, and re-selected the EXACT SAME GODDAMN THING. And it worked. It’s literally some fucking shit you do when you are first learning how to code or learning a language and you keep flipping something but you don’t get exactly how it works.
But this is YOUR FUCKING FLAGSHIP development product. I shouldn’t have to check my goddamn inception totem to see if I’m dreaming or not because this kind of bullshit can’t be real life.
That being fucking said your bullshit forced shutdown also FUCKED MY ANDROID STUDIO INSTALLATION AND FUCKED MY $PATH. Thanks. Now NOTHING WORKS. Fuck you Apple. Between slowing my phone and the cluster or problems your shit is causing that are just random as hell and are plenty common because thank god people smarter than me have fixed them in SO by now, I am SO READY TO LEAVE THE APPLE ECO SYSTEM. If I didn’t have to use one of the boxes to push iPhone app updates I doubt I would touch one again.
Apple stuff looks good but at this point that’s about it. -
> Mister IHateForALiving, we need a new table on the website do to thing
No biggie, we know there's a datatable plugin somewhere.
> No, you can't use that, it doesn't have pagination
Oh, right. I also see here it was last updated 4 years ago, it's kinda shit too, it's like the inbred cousin of a real datatable. Ok, how did you tackle the thing until now?
> There's a script template somewhere in the page, we iterate over that to create our tables
Ok, but I'll have to write some logic for that, how much time do I have?
> I want this to be online by this evening
Can't be done, what if we used a normal datatable like normal people?
> No, it looks too different from the real site
How am I supposed to manage the thing then?
> IDK, just reload the page every time
_____________
And here we are, triggering a full page reload on an already bloated Laravel app (something like 600-800ms) for 20 lines of json. Great idea mister team leader, but consider the following: fuck you and your bastard lineage.4 -
GOD DAMN IT COLLEGE YOU DID IT AGAIN. for real college can go suck Satan's 50 inch red cock for all I care.
A professor asked me to design a processor and I'll get a bonus. I said okay cool nothing hard.
oh but it has to be in verilog.
okay cool.
oh and it has to be on this fucking ancient useless piece of shit called xilinx that the fucking college provides to you only via a fucking 50 gigabyte virtual machine.
sigh. okay..... challenge accepted.
It fucking crashes every 2 minuites. And after 3 days of no sleep. I finally finished the Alu, Control unit, 4k memory, 8 registers and the busses.......... BUT THEN THE ENTIRE VIRTUAL MACHINE CRASHED AND LOST ALL PROGRESS...... fml.
and the professor only gave me the bonus for the Alu. sigh. fuck college.11 -
!rant real talk though.
I am frustrated. Lately i have been having a slow time on the job, and it somehow dulled me down a lot.
In games you often have to think about transforms and rotations and offsets and hell knows what else.
I am usually pretty good at 3d object manipulation, it's one of those IQ test skills i generally score well on.
However lately i have not been able to come up with jack shit, i am simply unable to coherently think through a set of positioning and rotation changes to aquire the correct outcome for a mechanic and it pisses me off.
I have to fall back to slow as all hell trial and error and i don't even know what to do otherwise. It's been months now, do i have brain cancer or some shit? Arrrrrrg!4 -
Why the *fuck* did Facebook decide to nag users by constantly reminding them of how dumb and miserable they are by showing the old-ass posts from years and years ago?? I don't want to see some random shotpost i posted 5 years ago, i don't give a fuck!!
How the hell uses this anyway? Who on earth cares about his facebook image so much, that sharing this stuff is actually meaningful?
Maybe i'm missing a point, but again my facebook profile is just a wall of memes and vapid shit that i don't care about.
I'm starting to really fucking hate facebook in every way, too bad its the only real way to contact people here in scandinavia...
This country is full of applefags anyway, maybe i should just pack up and move to a country with a more sensible communication platform :D7 -
I hate AMP sites so much. Fuck you Google! I'm not living in some third world country, nor do I use a decade old smartphone. And even if so, it's none of your fucking business what I do with my bandwidth!!
Just give me the real website, instead of downgraded shit!!1 -
I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!
How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.
Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers! -
You know what's the worst in doing software?
being assigned that dreadful project, that's doomed and cursed just from the start. Nobody dared to try or touch it for 7 years, because it's destined to fail. You will never get the resources to do it properly, all the constrains are just against you. Even as the requirements bars are lowered and lowered you barely make it. You keep testing that shit with QA for like 8 months past schedule. Then before release some core changes need to be done. It passes QA, but you somehow now it's just a ticking time bomb. It will just crumble and fall somewhere out there, if somebody dares to use that shit for real.
And so it goes.
Bug reports coming in.1 -
Just arrived for an interview for my very first coding job. Everyone wish me luck! I'm gonna fuck up their shit for real. 😂🤣🤣5
-
So today I got fucked by myself. And it hurts.
In my Company, we started thinking how we could organize some kind of think tank for the next 5/ years goals.
As CTO I got designated to be in these workshops... And stupid me, I started to organize the "workshops". Using " agile" and "facilitator" artifacts (serious games, ideation sessions, open space sessions, etc).
Today we finished the roadmap and proto processes to make bottom to top inclusive process, and co-create with everyone what should be the Company roadmap.
We went to dinner. And I was happily talking with my smartphone when they decided that I should preside the committee in charge of the roadmap creation!!!!!
Useless mother fuckers!!!!! Go kill yourselves!!!! I have some interesting stuff to do!!!
Why didn't I just shut it!!! Now I'll have to make sure the old cluster fuck part of the Company do real shit!!! They are fucking useless and don't give a shit about the future!!!!
FUCK THEM!!!!!
FUCK ME!!!!!!7 -
Money.
I wish I had a more philosophical answer like building cool shit, but this is real life, so I've made it as a dev when I make at least ₹20 lakh per year.9 -
Demo for client goes bad when we encounter a bug adding a new entry into the back end. Entry shows up in the admin but not the front side.
<thoughtbubble> "I can't believe this, we just tested it! How can this be? How? How?" </thoughtbubble>
Perhaps, the cache? Nope.
<thoughtbubble> "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" </thoughtbubble>
Perhaps the front side is pointing to dev? Nope.
<thoughtbubble> "Oh shit... make something up quick. Make it sound good." </thoughtbubble>
Tells client we'll have to look into it. (real smooth)
Looked into it and it turns out the bug was actually a feature. Apparently when you assign an "end date" to a date in the past... by design, it won't show.
However, was it bad UI? That's a different argument.4 -
How's Irene and other friends from Ukraine holding up?
Shit is about to get real it seems and it's scary when big nations enter the playing field.19 -
We recently hired a new developer, fresh from uni. Very little real experience as I can see.
Unfortunately I weren't available for the interviews, so they chose a dev without me.
All his code is messy, over complicated and uses symfony framework for _everything_
He can't do shit outside of it.
He was tasked to find and replace some links in a few hundred excel documents, he spent ages trying to parse the xlsx documents and the replace the links and write to the document. Spent all day on it, with no results. Even though I often asked him how he was getting on, he said all was fine.
End of day, I get a tad furious, whip out my terminal and do the whole task in 10 minutes with basic bash4 -
The more problems I encounter with Windows the more I have the impression these infested chimps never implemented a real system repair/restoration feature but just faked it with randomized error messages.
Now Windows 10 can't even rollback updates anymore but lands in an infinite boot loop that even a reset to an earlier restoration point won't fix.
And the Windows repair option lists two Windows installations even though there's just one.
Somehow the roles of Linux and Windows have switched nowadays, by now I had to reinstall Win10 5 times on three PCs in the last 12 months.
Windows 8 was shit too but at least it didn't fucking break within a week.3 -
Getting real tired of people posting meetings only for you to join when they end. How hard is it to have you meeting at the time you set it for? Holy shit!1
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Sometimes when i drop my fone, break something or say something stupid i yearn for a real life "Ctrl + Z", and just undo that shit right quick.5
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Wrote my first programs on my Commodore C64.
First program was a number guessing game where you needed to guess a number between 1 and 100. Shit had 300+ lines because I only new the if clause and the equals comparison.
I was 9.
Later a friend showed me Modula 2 and I was instantly in love with that language.
Real programming then in school (C, C++, µC assembler). -
Yesterday I had to register my new credit card with a national payment app (MobilePay) and it kept giving me error 32, which says "a technical error happened please try again"... Real fucking useful u peace of shit app 😠
Turns out, after a bit of research, that it will sometime crash if you language is not set to a european language. Guess what? I had mine set to English... English (US)... 😧
Like, what the fuck is that? Why would you check if a person might be from EU, be checking the language setting?
Get your shit together 😑3 -
What kind of facts should every person know? I mean in todays modern world some ppl live so deep with heads up their asses that they dont even know how many continents in the world there are.
And sadly it makes sense, who needs all that data in their head when the info is one google search away?
I myself cant retain facts of real world at all. Recently went to some quiz competition and felt stupid af.
On the other hand all these ppl who know a lot about world usually have shit retail jobs. So is knowing more facts than white collar professional some weird mental flex?11 -
Why is so hard to find engineers that actually care? It feels like the majority of people always want to do the bear minimum, no one wants to fix their shitty code even when it clearly violates the project or company standards. Everyone constantly comes up with shit about why they can't do things properly or how they'll fix it later and then get their mates to push their shit through review. The majority of lower management usually care equally as little so there's no point explaining the situation to them and the lack of care probably goes much higher. It seems like so many people go from job to job getting bump after bump in salary, which granted is absolutely fine and probably advised, but have nothing to show for it. Usually very little skills but alleged mountains of experience and a lazy piece of shit attitude. I hear all the time people saying you'll never change anything so why try and it feels like that most of the time but more because everyone keeps saying it. If everyone pulled their fingers out their arse, maybe we would stand a chance. I'm sure a lot of people on here have a real passion for computer science, whichever division you're in and love to learn and improve and reflect. What I really want to know is how you deal with people who are just taking their paycheck and enjoying the ride but don't actually care and how you discover these people as early on as possible to get shot of them.14
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Heyo, it's me. That fool who always says shit about unity.(:
So.. i just got my first real hands-on down, and phew, i gotta say.. I overestimated that heap of bullshit.
It's not like there are basic concepts of gamedev, framebased ticking and stuff like that since before the fucking gameboy - nope - let's do shit different. More ... Shit. First, we invent something new. Lets call it "prefab". None of these fuckers is going to know what that shit is.
What next.. oh the new-keyword. That's bullshit, all languages use it. Lets make Instanciate(). That's the stuff.
On we go, scenes. Most shit is statically created beforehand and used by scripts glued to stuff. Hell that so neat actually. Creating materials beforehand and then we can just load em!(:
NOPE. yo bro your Material where u used one of those loading-methods is null. We ain't telling you whats wrong, cus you know.. Load() returning null is like completely normal, why throwing an exception?
Oh and btw, it needs to be in ./Resources/, but it wont make any difference.
So now you want to google your problem, eh? Forget it. The Forums only answer on stuff like "how to add 2 numbers in unity" and the guide shows you how you did it, but they say it works that way.
Dude holy shit, of course this is a buhuuu i don't know how to do shit rant because i feel like good 8-10 years of dev experience collected while not doing homework for school were for fucking nothing.:b
And i have to use it.
Subjective Opinion: Unity was made by crackheads.7 -
Oh YES! THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME!
So, ive finally got better headphones, REAL headphones, not my old Wireless Gaming Headset...
and the difference IS NIGHT AND DAY! I cant go back anymore!
Beyerdinamic really knows their shit...3 -
I got to tell someone about the dream that I had today, but no one in my real life will give a shit, so I'll say it here.
I saw myself flying in my dream. Where it got so good was, I detected that it was a dream and kept going. I legit thought to myself "I can't take damage cuz it's my dream" and started doing maneuvers like diving downwards to speed up and pulling myself up.
It was almost like I was playing GOD mode in a videogame with me as the protagonist. I could fly whatever speed I wanted and do whatever moves I wanted. All the while knowing fully that this is a dream.
I don't understand why but I'm so happy about it, today.1 -
CORS is shit
Stupid useless shit that protects from nothing. It is harmful mechanism that does nothing but randomly blocks browser from accessing resources - nothing more.
Main idea of CORS is that if server does not send proper header to OPTIONS request, browser will block other requests to that server.
What does stupid cocksuckers that invented CORS, think their retarded shit can protect from?
- If server is malicious, it will send any header required to let you access it.
- If client has malicious intents - he will never use your shit browser to make requests, he will use curl or any ther tool available. Also if server security bases on something as unreliable as http headers it sends to the client - its a shit server, and CORS will not save it.
Can anyone give REAL examples when CORS can really protect from anything?33 -
So, I fixed this shitty code, real shitty, inlined some shit and shaved off some other shit and it was fixed...
The reviewer says we'd better request a review from the dude that's actually responsible for that piece of shit code - what the fuck...
Here comes this bossy fucker saying they don't really understand that shit so they don't know for sure if there could be a better way...
Me, ignorant as always, popped a vessel figuring out a cleaner way.
I tell those sick fucks that we'd need to change some shit over at another repository, also maintained by the latter turd.
The latter turd says they like my second suggestion better, to which I reply,
'ok, I agree.'
In my mind that pull was done, should be closed and water under the bridge but oh how clueless I was...
SIX FUCKING MONTHS later the same shitbag pops out of god knows where asking if I still wanted to work on the pull....
"Motherfucker, my pull was for this fucking code, not for doing work on the other, obviously I'm not interested in doing that or else I would've opened a pull there instead of here, dumb-dumb" - I thought
Thou what I said was:
"No, I don't. I agree it's a problem better solved at the other repository."
Maybe I was a bit mean, was I? I don't know, honestly, people confuse me2 -
Teach data structures by showing how they're used in real life situations. Don't make us do some nonsense puzzle shit. For example, a friend of mine is learning stacks/queues right now and his assignment is to build a simple HTML parsing algorithm to determine whether an HTML file is valid. This shows the student a practical use of the data structure and reinforces that this shit actually does get used in real life.
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It took me putting on my glasses to make sure these pixels were real and not just blind ass not seeing shit.
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Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.
Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.
Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on. -
!dev
Today I learnt something, I wish I learnt this earlier (I'm 25 now , it is late?).
What I learnt:
1. Never out -shined your superior, as it naturally stir up all sorts of resentments , envy, insecurities and possibilities of getting you replace by someone level intelligent. Because superior feel threatened.
2. Never try to fake what you don't know, and real to what you know. (As I saw someone faking themselves as someone who they are not, they eventually manifested tonnes of shit to themselves.)
So is what I learnt is actually make sense and valid? or just an opinion?4 -
Linkedin is known from displaying invasive corporate advertisements like join our cloud, and other picture title shit.
But it got worse.
From January I am invaded by contribute to this article crap and get some badge. Powered by some artificial intelligence shit.
From about a month or so I am seeing lots of suggestions on linkedin wall that look like content written by bots, and the posts are from real people, well morons from FAANG started showing up with their generated spam but that’s not all.
This week I started getting job offers that look like are written by chatgpt and not a real people. When I reply to this offer that it looks like it’s not from real person I am ghosted.
Those job offers are like 3 a day and I those are not only contacts but mostly a direct messages from premium account that costs 1000$ per month or more.
I feel like I’m in real world matrix.
But that’s not all.
I see lots of recriuters from my contact list are getting fired and looking for new job.
But that’s not all bitches !!!
I sometimes reply to some CEO and they delete posts and invite me to contacts just to ghost me.
I feel so disconnected I started to think all those people are all only bots and I am last living - real person that is not using AI to write something.
I think microsoft finally managed to kill this cash cow with their obsession about AI. Corporate shit is killing every good platform.
Hope for fediverse to take off with some news websites thinking about integration with fediverse.
Help me obi P2P nobi you’re my last torrent hope.
If p2p social networks won’t take off now it would be dead end.9 -
You know shit is getting real when you save and you watch your code formatted start rolling through your code like you're watching someone ... write code...
-indent here-
-pause-
-indent here-
Me: Oh man what have I done?!?!?!4 -
This crazy guy who created SunVox synth released a single C file that contains a long note sequence AND the synth code itself, with echo and shit, no deps other than SDL to output audio, so you basically compile a single C file, and it PLAYS REAL MUSIC
HOOOOOW
https://github.com/pixicoder/PS
https://youtube.com/watch/...
22 -
Some days I can't get over the cynical gnawing outlook that everything is shit and nothing gets better and it's all down hill, thats theres no real future for any of us, no stability or careers that won't vanish or be replaced or outsourced. That the entire economy in the west runs on fraud and lackyism and bullshit and a revolving door of never ending hype and marketing.
Somedays I feel like I'm just waiting to get old and die.
Maybe this cynicism and pessimism is born from a period I went through from 2008 when I was just turning 18 to 2013 when I lived with my parents and went through several shit jobs where I was essentially disposable. But the entire situation and the bad start in life has left me with a gut feeling that nothing really matters and it all can vanish over night or be taken away.
Sorry to be a downer, just some days I can't see what the point is.8 -
In the mood of doing nothing because I have so much shit going on. Anyone knows that feeling?
Also so many (cool) projects I would like to do but no motivation to start anything... I have no real reason to... I’m just waiting for motivation to come back one day - but it has been a long time.. :(3 -
SWE in fintech in MNC, job involves "bigdata' . Get paid >> avg
I FUCKING HATE IT. THIS PLACE IS A REAL DREAM-KILLER.
Size of the big-data ??? <50 GB ! Entire place runs on gimmicks and show off.
PO is a dumb cock sucker with minimal tech idea. He is busy sucking up business users and dictating us to rearrange tiles on reports all day long.
Fed up with all this shit , I decided to give GRE and apply for masters in Computer Vision .
For good GRE verbal score , I need to learn 1100 words , 90% of which I have never heard in my entire life.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ????????
Will my dream of working as a vision scientist for autonomous cars never come to life ???????
😢😢😢 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Plz motivate me to get out of this shit-hole -
our team are responsible to build backend restful API for other team to look up data in DB.
the consumer team just sit beside us.
the interface definition came from our pm in a different time zone. btw he did not have any programming background.
and he insisted that just build what he said and ignore the noise from the consumer team. because each interface change should be considered as new features and need him to prioritize and create user story and he will review the schema with the pm from consumer team and so called architecture who did not coding real shit for years.
we ended up with building shit code not useable by our real consumer.
yes he do manage to keep our team busy building worthless shit and accomplishmented lots of jira items to show we have value to change a useless shit into very hard to use shit1 -
The world of SSO (Single sign on) it's a real shit.
At start I tought its a pretty common feature that lots of people want, so there should be a lot of open source options for making a server and client libraries.
So far I've only found to libraries, written in java with a fucking big book instead of a simple documentation with billions of options and features but without a fucking guide to get it running and connect with a database.
It's that hard to write an easy manual with the steps to get it running instead a giant book with million's of technical terms and architectural details?1 -
Got a bad question here. I've got my homepage (login + some archives with access permission) which I made in HTML + php (yeah I know). But I just hate how php looks. So I'd like to rewrite that whole little bastard now using some other language (not php obviously). What do you recommend? Which Lang's/frameworks are being used. I heard python and java spring were good but I wanted to hear the opinion of some real devs I guess. I'm rather a back end dude (c++) but I think it would be useful to learn some web programming too (not interested in fancy animations and shit, just a good ol' single colored site that displays the content)2
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Sometimes Im pretty impressed and envious by the skills of my fellow students.
Usually it looks like this:
me: So Uhm what u got for the <insert class here>?
him/her: Well its pretty simple algorithm which has big O of (Log(n)/1000000) which also mines bitcoin in the meanwhile and yeah, last night I figured out that it now generates electricity...
me: Uhm... My program prints Hello world... But backwards...
Like for real, sometimes I wish I find the motivation, to be awake 2 days straight just bursting with ideas of some crazy shit. Right now Im like 'You see that star behind that cloud? Jup it shines too bright, gotta get some sleep' -> Browsing devrant...2 -
Happy New year
May you have a year that is filled with love and bugs, laughter and debugging , brightness and dark theme , hope and distro hopping and little less windows vs linux shit 😂 please arch guys you too 🙄😝
Wish you all a great year 😅😛
I rarely post anything but I'm pretty active reading every shit post here. we fucking have a great community here. Few people are going through some real shit , hey you, things will get better don't lose hope but don't just wait on it , things don't ever get better by just wishing. Do what has to be done no matter how hard that decision can be.
Cut all those toxic people from your life doesn't matter who they're. You all deserve better
Believe in yourself. Everyone is going through some real shit. Keep fighting. Live for yourself.
You got only one life live upto your fill potential.
Regret is the worst thing so do whatever the fuck you want to do.
Never give up doesn't matter what you're going through.
And in the end may you "live" all the days of your life. -
When you find out the 960 EVO M.2 SSD you rush delivered isn't supported on your motherboard so you have to return it and rush deliver an 850 EVO instead.3
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Hey, a bit of a dumb question.
When can someone call themselves a "real" programmer? I'm not one to gatekeep and say dumb shit like "iF yOu OnLy KnOw PyThOn Ur NoT a PrOgRaMmEr!", but I guess I want to know when I can call myself one. All I've done so far is make unpolished games in Unity for school that are created only to meet some requirements. I've also worked in my class' team for collaborative Unreal games, which has been painful to say the least. So, when I can stop gatekeeping myself over it? What sorts of experiences should I have? I understand that it's not a list of requirements like my projects are, but I'd like a general idea of when I can call myself a real developer.7 -
Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass
All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency -
I know everyone hates when people ask them for help with fixing IT related stuff.
I have a different approach to all similar questions. I don't get upset or anything, I just tell them that the device they have is a little bit shit, and suggest them buying a new expensive one that is better and will do all that. Your router isn't working as you want? Buy a Cisco (a real one with $1k+ price tag, not that Cisco branded Linksys garbage). Your printer isn't working as you want? Buy some high end Brother stuff. Etc...
After first few times they just stop asking...2 -
I wrote a blogging platform around 3.5yrs back in PHP. My friend uses that, and apparently wants me to update the code. To which I refused saying that I am too busy. But the real reason is that it is one of the purest form of cancerous shit I ever wrote. I can't even look at that code now. Its like abandoning your own child, because it is too ugly... Here's a snapshot of the code, I don't even know what this does anymore..
Moral: Don't give your code to your friend no matter how shitty it is, you will end up providing lifetime support for it.
1 -
Getting real tired of your shit, JavaScript. I sincerely love and hate the language, its so flexible at the same time that flexibility will give you nightmares, I swear to god I'll never recommend Node.js for any big projects, right now the same flexibility is killing our project.
Oh lord, have mercy.11 -
A little story which happened my SECOND day on the floor after getting hired to do customer-facing phone support for my current job (can't mention the name, NDA). Customer from Detroit calls in:
Me: "Thank you for calling (company), my name is Guru, how can I assist you?"
C: "Uhhh, yeah. I need to get back into my ID. I can't backup my tablet or phone, and y'all are kinda holding my data host-" <Loud gunshots>
C: "oh! Shit!" <sound of running feet>
Me: "Everything OK sir?"
C: "Fuck! Naw! Hang on!" <more running, jumps a fence, skids to a stop>
C: "Ok, I'm safe, I'm safe... So what I gotta do to get y'all to let me back into my shit?"
*MUTE* Me: "First of all, what the fuck are you doing on the phone with me when you should be either A) calling the cops because, I dunno, just maybe some trouser stain is attempting to kill you, or, B) FIRING BACK, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
*REAL* Me: "OK, first you gotta… (outlines step 1,2,3... etc)
C: "OK, that sounds easy enough. I'll try it when I get to the office, I'm on my way there now- shit. Hold on again..."
(talking to someone on the street): "what, him? That dude? Over there? That dude... In the shirt?What the fuck!? Are you sure? Hold on, sir! I'ma call you back..."
Last thing I hear before the line lets go is a large BOOM!
Sometimes it's best to just sit back and sip your coffee...6 -
The scope for this project was absolute horse shit, and now they are mad because the end product is still horse shit...
I want to feel guilty for the outcome, but I just can't. This is something they should have had foresight for. Validation and testing is absolutely atrocious here. No official real scenario testing, and now the whole thing has been blown wide open for all the shit it can't do. -
Social media site/app... I think social media is such a saturated market yet everyone seems to think their spin is somehow unique and worthwhile...
Although, not sure if DevRant counts as 'social media' but tbh I see real value in getting developers to form a community, where to profit potential comes from potentially linking developers to recruiters/employers (targeted ads to devs for shit we would want). And devs get a nice platform to socialize and bullshit about things we all experience (ie, the 'community' is real and valuable to us)1 -
And there are still people saying that stack overflow is the best site to ask questions. Interestingly, when you do a question, you get criticize for the title given to the question and they don't give you a real answer. And what about people that comment on your question, saying you that they don't understand the question??? Clearer than so what do you want ??? A pinch in the ass???? FUCK ALL THIS SHIT1
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Anyone else who keeps their social media clean? Like deleting your post/comment/like you made a month ago? I wonder where all this crap content on social media goes especially those posts on facebook groups. I like a clean history and I'm a little paranoid which helps. I'm also using a dummy fb account to join groups cause there's a shit ton of them and I don't want to contaminate my real account.6
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tldr; Fuck Windows networks
I do some first level support for a befriended architect when i got some sparetime after regular work. Its nice and easy extra cash most of the times but not today.
We decided to ditch the money thiving IT admin that did not care about doing his work. And instead of taking over his pile of shit i adviced to redo the whole network, drop the massive server that did idle 99% of the day and update all PCs some of them did still run IE8 and had no active anti virus, yeah that dude was real shit.
Anyways i proceded with the whole process today and everything worked expect the fucking windows network, that fucking domain controller setup blocked the fucking internetconnection even though DNS and DHCP where set up correctly. Why does fucking ms need to make it so difficult to set up fucking network accounts....
I will have to finish this shit up tomorrow and this on a weekend...2 -
1. Windows is unreliable and crappy.(I have had a lot of bad experience with windows.)
2. Mac is good but doesn't have a lot of things to tinker with.(Used mac, it runs on specific hardware only, for rich people who don't know how to use computers or for chad programmers )
3. Linux is the best. (The real programmer shit that has it all.)
What do you think?40 -
Disclaimer: I am an assclown who makes cobbles shit together and doesn't have a strong/real foundational understanding in the shit I deal with.
So does anybody actually write their tests before they write their code? I see the term TDD (test driven development) bandied around everywhere.
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what the solution will be, nor am I confident in it until I've manually tested it seems to be working.
Then I usually write the automated tests if they are easy to do so.
i.e. I won't know what/how to test the thing.....until I make the damn thing
Is this a case of 'git gud' and have the problem "presolved" in your head, before you work on it such that you can already write tests first?
Or is this a case of "aGilE", where everybody says they're agile, maybe does a little bit of scrum (just the pieces they like/find useful, not the entire thing in a dogmatic/religious way), and possibly has never heard of the manifesto https://agilemanifesto.org/12 -
I'm literally one junior developer building a front end stack for a company that uses the waterfall method of building shit...
My application has not been fully tested and none of the real user base has actually tested it. I have no clue what potential egde cases exist in my application. I did as much testing as possible but it's keeping me on edge that there is potentially something broken lurking underneath that I don't know about.
If it is broken it's all erupting into flames and there's nothing I can do about it because the application will have to go through a whole beuacratic process to allowed to be fixed.3 -
My first real own project outside of school was a drinking game written in Java. It had a ugly af GUI where you HAD to put in 5 names and 5 drinks because I didn't knew about storing objects in lists or arrays nor about checking for empty string when trying to access the string value that would be put in there by reading the empty input field. So I had 5 variables each for names and drinks. Then u would click on an button and it would randomly decide who had to drink which drink and how many sips between 1 to 5. Only played it ones at a party where I downloaded eclipse so that I could start my program because I knew shit about compiling into an executable file.
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How fast is Google Docs and how slow is Notion highlights the difference between real six figures engineers who know their shit and wannabe JavaScript hipsters.4
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So we 3 devs working on a real estate system.... The guy who initially wrote the system wrote it in a fucked up state
Project structure was shit so we had a meeting and I suggested we restructure the project and also have some minimal documentation coz the system is growing we adding more features before current ones are finished
We agreed and started polishing up the system coz it seemed more features we wanted were now becoming more and more difficult to implement
So the other guy tells me to pull some updates.... To my surprise he had started documenting the system without restructuring first.... Had to quickly restructure the thing and push updates
How can 1 start documenting the very same design we want to abandon 🤦 -
Writing my 13th tech book... which is nice and all... but this pandemic, plus absolute shit weather for weeks, is hammering my motivation. All I want to do is sit on the couch under a blanket and hammer my Netflix queue. But, I signed a contract, I have deadlines, so gotta get my ass moving (and fight to ensure this lethargy doesn't show up in the prose). As my daughter says: the struggle is real.4
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It was a shit idea to try and get async to work in my first ever real programm meant to be used in production.
Unit tests are a bitch to make.
And now everything just kinda falls down on its own.
At least i learned a ton and got a lot of firsts out of the way.1 -
!rant
Normally when I revisit an old project feel like tearing out my awful old code and rewriting it all - not today; today I feel like I am backsliding. I sidelined my personal project months ago when my real work got busy.
I have spent the evening discovering all the cool shit the project does and wondering if I'll ever get my head around it all again.
Looking forward to many nights tinkering and getting my memory back. -
Have you ever tried to get something working in node.js... and the version and uninstall and reinstall... hours and hours of dicking around with this god damn raspberry pi zero only to find that node jack shit does not support the "older" ARM 6 processor on the newest raspberry pi zero Wi-Fi units. And omg the amateurs out there with the copy-paste half-assed "help" clogging out the real info. God damn hobby ware.6
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I swear business people are so stupid. They take us off of a real priority programming project and then tell us to stop and send emails to gather reporting data.
I am a developer...not an email jockey. Get someone with a business degree and nothing better to do to do this shit. -
Victor Pelevin is an iconic Russian writer. I won't describe him here (5000 characters is not enough), I just say I think he's one of the greatest if not THE greatest modern author.
Here's the tea (sorry for my bad translation):
"Some of our illusions feel more real than other illusions. A kid is urinating in perfectly real toilet when he's sleeping, he hears a perfectly real sound confirming this, yet he's still unsure.
A grown up, mature man is different only because he also shit himself.
Grown ups have no doubt about reality, that doubt that helps the kid to get closer to the truth. But grown ups have 'scientific explanations' that toilet is real because there is sound of urine, and the sound of urine is real because toilet is made of ceramic, so because of it we all should be working 24/7.
To help grown ups wake up from this 'reality', death exists."2 -
I fuck get angry when I try to teach my real close mates like my family about computers or some basic things, but I am fuck relaxed and more human and take time to teach the same shit to total strangers. Am I dumb sick or what. Fuck me.1
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1. Make it so IT teams are only directly managed by people who know their shit about IT
2. Make nvidia opensourxe their linux driver, so we can have some real improvements
3. Make me able to rm -fr people and tasks from the command line.3 -
Summing up my cynicism.
I live on a big shit pile in the middle of nowhere where biggest achievement is travel around the globe. It doesn’t matter that you can do it under a day using special piece of paper that everyone is bragging about.
At the same time I am trapped inside sack of meat that is slowly putrefy and is highly vulnerable to everything on this fucking place. Sooner or later I will shit under myself again.
And I even didn’t stared cause the real problem is that I can’t get the fuck out of here and everyone try to convince me that what I do is “important” and I need to start a family and shit like that, yet everyone believes in some higher power that says you don’t need all of this shit. Like what the fuck people ?!!?!!
How the fuck did I get here ? I must have been making jokes from someone important. If it’s true I’m really really sorry and now please get me out of this nightmare. I know I did something wrong and I sincerely apologize. Are we good now ?
Fucking hell !!!3 -
My biggest insecurity is that people will one day find out that I am not good enough!
I write clean code and do all the shit around it but I don't feel good enough.
Imposter syndrome is for real, sometimes! -
Get a bachelors degree or higher from a decent uni or college. It's gives you a solid foundation teaching you stuff that you wouldn't otherwise spend time on because frankly it's shit boring. Like compiler technology and low-level programming languages. I believe this broader understanding which eventually allows you to become a better developer and architect.
Yes, the first year at a real job will teach you a ton more relevant stuff than 3 years at uni. But that's just not what it's about. Ignorant people just think it is.5 -
Me : .. but sir without sass/js compiled, how can we address the issue?
Boss : that is not an issue, issue is with on approach we have taken?
You sick fuck, you take other developers un-finished work, expect me to finish it (which it did) and when the other developer is not smart enough to copy paste the solution, you give an "update" to me, I mean how the fuck, what ever..
I really really put efforts to make this shit happen, I know very little about your commerce cloud shit, but when you question my logic on basis of someone who will pay you to finish her work, it is very unethical and hard to swallow it down.
Maybe this is my first real job, that is why this is so hard, but I gotta do what I gotta do -
So tired of app developers localizing app information with Google Translate. Use a real person that can READ AND WRITE IN THE FUCKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE or scrap the entire translation and do marketing in English. And Google? Why the fuck do you allow people to embarrass themselves by providing machine translated SHIT in the Store Listing options?
Some gems found on Google Play Store, translated from Norwegian to English the way I as Norwegian interpret them.
Reddit: Reddit is a collection of bank interest rate society: cats, piks, politics and more.
eBay: Offer, to buy, to sell. Turn pages offering and save on clothes Sjoeping, used cars and more
Huuuge Casino: New social castls and casino a sensation! Now play FREE!
And finally, devRant 😂: Social networks to get a contact with other developers than funny qalz about tekk.1 -
After working for a startup for 70 hours a week that taught me everything. The place was fun but lacked all the processes. But the boss eas awesome and taught me a shit a loads.
Things started geeting veryvslow so the start up is on lause right now. Anyhow... I ended up finding a job in a really undynamic city where i live where a prettysucesful and growing company just moved to.
Scrum on point， every one is cool， tasks are well established， git processes are freaking awesome and i could go on and on. 2nd week in i thank my old boss for being so precise and annoying on some very specific things because im rocking my first real it job thanks to him.
It feels good ;) -
LOL XCode....I think they meant "X"tra useless, resembling such as a bag of dicks without handles!!!!
Also, being fucking buried because there's aren't any devs anywhere to be found near me makes me extra cranky!
Ive been hammering away at this Flutter, Java, Swift, Python, and Google maps for just about 36 hours on 3.5 hrs sleep. I just can't stop, I fuckin love this shit!!!
Considering the fact that I'm self taught and just started writing code for real about 7 months ago, I'd say I'm handling this alright for now. Every bit of tech is getting shot out of a cannon at this one- maps, real time tracking, state level auth/Id verification, custom components like ID scans/native desktop applications on custom linux machines, body cams, SIP trunking... all in 3 apps which are 100% multi-platform and scaled up to high end enterprise levels and being groomed for national release. I'm writing the code and doing the tech for ALL of it- even down to custom painted barcode scanners, a wallet system built from scratch, GPS integration, location/geofence based document querying... holy fuck guys I'm gonna fuckin die haha!!!
I went from barely getting websites made in late summer to this very moment, where I am pumping shit out in Flutter, Dart, Python, CPP, Js, Swift, Java, Kotlin, Obj-C, SQL/noSQL, and who knows what else.
I don't even know what the hell I just said haha I hope everyone has a great day! -
This is a story of a lovely lady.
she had several clips of bills stuffed in her dress
and a frustrated programmer
found that they were there where I had pressed.. them.
now heres a story of a crap economy that gave quite more than a hunch that to hang on to your well paying shit job, gets their panties in a great big bunch
a great big bunch a great big bunch
keep your job and in their nuts
they feel a punch :P
now dont you chase no, brand new techy, most of it for complete suckers. by the time that its usuable, the company that made it gave up :P
it gave up
it just gave up
if it was real in the first place at all it just gave up :P34 -
Before you tell me shit is real, kindly provide the variables.
```
def real_shit(shit, real):
return shit is real
```2 -
Thats so bad. Since about One week our Internet is broken. We don't have access anymore. You feel useless, because you can't do anything. No Phone (because its also with the Router) , No Internet, No real programming. You can't Look something Up, you can't Log into your Server, Database and so on.
And the shittest Thing about that is that the #Telekom is sorry to say that but absolutely Shit. We have made an appointement on friday. They should come to fix the issue. We have waited the whole day. He didn't came.. Now He wants to come again tomorrow...
I hope everything is right then and We have Internet again.. thats uncool.1 -
Yesterday Ibdid buy an iPhone. I did it to learn swift development and people started to tell me that it was stupid.
I know I could have just used my emulator on my Mac but I just do not want to, testings apps is better in their real envieonment
I hope you guys understand my point, I am getting tired of all this "you stupid iPhone owner" shit
PD: I regret nothing3 -
I know some sites are tracking and collecting a lot of data for advertising. But this is fucking insane... 200!!!! for marketing? For real? Holy shit!
Fuck off already...
(A shitty Danish newspaper - can't even remember why I visited it)
2 -
Picked up javascript few months ago, hacked through the basics and shit was looking too complicated and all over the place, tried react and got hooked. So I'm going all in on React. Like how you just get to build real projects right from the start.
But hell, I love my Python8 -
!dev
People that say shit like "real fans know that *their opinion* is true" or "anyone that knows anything about x knows that *their opinion* is true" are some of the worst people in society.
You can't start a sentence implying you're going to state a fact only to give your opinion. It's bullshit. It's lame. It makes you look like an idiot.3 -
Fuckin damn it Google! I setup a transparent proxy and for some fucking reason Google home doesn't like that at all. I think I have a fix but it's a real fucking pain in the ass. I call your support people who I specifically tell that I'm running a fucking proxy and they tell me that I need to talk to their Google WiFi team. It has nothing Todo with my fucking wifi bitch. Its your price of shit price of crap hardware that doesn't like fucking proxies.
I'll update everyone what the fix is when I find it.
Btw, this is a HTTPS transparent proxy and HTTP transparent proxy running on my pFSense firewall box.
5 -
That son of a bitch, tbat was supposed to set up home internet, didn't show up. AGAIN! Timeframe of 2h and I was there 1h before and after it. Brain dead pieces of shit didn't call me and I - once again - lost 2h of work. Shitstained ISP hell, these fuckers are within 5 minutes distance from my home, but I have to spend my days without real internet again
3 -
Do you think you have to go to school for that? No no no. Some definition from a book won't help you, nor a person who haven't seen the real code for some time.
Sit and write. Anything! Still nothing? Printf("Hello World"); make conditions, think big, break the shit out of it and you'll learn along the way.
And do backups of git on remote. Two at least! -
I had this amazing friend during my Bachelors and I think because of her I started to learn programming.
Long story short, IT(not just IT though) curriculum in India is shit. So you do not really get to learn during your college. It’s completely on you and how you self teach. This friend who I am talking about not just learnt all this and did research for herself, but she tried to teach and make others aware as well. She organised DjangoGirls workshop in our city where I participated. That’s when I really started learning stuff useful in real world. -
Fuck TeamViewer.
I've been using it to control my home PC desktop from remote for a few years now (booted PC via Wake-On-LAN, done stuff, shutdown). I started using Chrome Remote Desktop a while ago too, but its ports are blocked at work, so I had to rely on TV some more.
Recently TV more often told me that I was offline (but I wasn't) and more importantly they started blocking my connections due to "commercial usage" (it's my private shit, yo), so now I've moved on to RDP via SSH.
That really makes me feel relieved as I wanted to move away from it for a while now anyways and SSH tunnels also are the real shit.
Today was a good day.3 -
Working as a Dev for a while now, I tell new people not to bother with it. There is never any job satisfaction as people in charge never understand the basics.
Instead of learning to write efficient code, figure out how to solve real business problems, work towards a maintainable flexible product to quickly deliver value on changing requirements, write automated tests to improve quality, maintainability and prevent live issues - basically do anything a good Dev strives for - you will just constantly end up working for people with no interest beyond the next couple days, on a shit code base that no one can understand, with people that don't want to learn anything about software design and just check boxes off.
Apart from pay this must be the worst career possible in a technical field.4 -
Oh for fucks sake! Why so we have threading when we synchronize EVERYTHING with a singleton... and when I actually show you that even unthreaded spaghetti code runs 40% faster under real life conditions than your shit you just brush it of because I'm still at university and don't know what I'm talking about... And not because changing it would require money or time we don't have... no, just because I “lack the necessary experience with such things.“
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I hate the company (agency) I moved to...I've negotiated good pay and the project for cutting edge medical product which will change the world (cancer diagnose and it actually works).
Now the dark side I've got shit tier laptop which I don't want, overtime is payed 30% less, all the people in the agency from development team don't know shit and are mostly I would call them juniors (of course who would with enough seniority work with shit hardware and almost not payed overtime), only tap water and since this is the old part of town you instantly get sick, they treat people like shit.
The product dark side. We are actually working on crm for doctors to input patient data, we cannot have any real data because we are the agency people, product is being led by the guy who has 0 production experience (they choose the database basically with coin toss and emulated the mongodb in postgress with jsnob, they don't know how to build their own auth system hence my previous rant about b2c, they are using cognito and now moving to auth0 which probably won't fit their need because a lot of stuff needs to be custom), they are choosing every hipe tech out there without any prior experience. It's chaos...
I'm trying to guide them but i think this will be a huge expensive failure and that i need to leave asap.
There I feel better now, moral of the story, choose startups wisely.1 -
Let your friends play youtube music on your account during party, get them all drunk and play some random shit and suddenly all your music recommendations are fucked up, that’s how this super expensive and amazing AI works in a real world where there is more than one person.
I need to skip 10 songs now to get to one that’s decent.10 -
Debugging is fine, totally part of the job!
Constantly fixing sh1t and new reports of another pile of sh1t coming every day like somebody is throwing them with shovels at us just to open the codebase that is written by the folks who aren't here anymore with some list of obscure libraries that is last maintained about 5 y ago is not ok.
It is not buggy codebase it is actually coddy bugbase!
I tried to be vocal several times to change technology to more suitable one, to make some improvements and to remove code smells(there is a ton of it, smells like organic garbage dumpster with rotten eggs) but "everything works" and there is no real "value for the customers" in that(fixing, refactoring etc.)!!!
Yea it works with sh1t ton of bugs reported every week. Nobody gives a shit, just contempt with their mediocre lives solving bug at the time while i feel like I'm wasting my time and talent on wrong people and fixing other's shit.
That is what happens when prototype becomes product and ships to production because numbers, money and sh1t!
this is why we who care about our career can't have nice things! I am not god damn pest control, I am f*ckin developer.1 -
No-meds is a real privilege. Let me explain.
There are people who have to take a shit ton of medicines/pills to 'just' function normally.
Then there's people like me who don't need any of them, barely fall sick in a year and can ocassionally smoke weed just for enjoying life.
It's the only privilege I can get behind the idea of.4 -
Everything we have in life is a set of illusions, one seemingly more real than the other. When a child pees themselves in their sleep, they pee in a perfectly real bucket. They hear a steady, real sound of urine hitting the wall, confirming they didn’t miss, but somehow, it doesn’t sit well with them, and they doubt. A serious, full-grown adult is different in just one thing — they also shit themselves.
They lack that doubt that brings the child closer to the truth. Instead, adults have a so-called “scientific worldview”, that, in a nutshell, is about how the bucket is real because of the sound, and the sound is real because of the bucket, and thus, we all should be working 24/7.
To help a serious, full-grown adult wake up from this reality, death exists. -
CREA DDF (Canada Real state listings API) is what you get when government fucks with technology.
Holy shit! So f*cking inefficient to use it, test it and get data.
I get the protection behind sensitive data but fuck me if there is not a lot of waiting behind their fucking application process just to fetch some testing data.1 -
I want to have a persistent game, where I correct all of the wrongs of the world in the past and the game then shows me how the present and future of real life would look like...
Say is the IBM Summit Supercomputer free for a telnet session? Stupid shit is playing petrus (Weather prediction) all the time...2 -
Finally some real vacation. Heavily needed. Can't stand that type of remote work any more. Our dailies and pull requests have become mere dick-measuring contests. Morally puffed statements about THE RIGHT way to do agile and clean code, and architecture. Endless vacuous, monologues, which they only endure so they can start our own - but shit just does not get done.
And then they don't want to invest only a day or some hours to get some integration tests running on more machines, which could save the one overworked tester we have a lot of work. But whatever. I've lost all motivation and hope. Shall they deal with their own shit. Maybe I just need more sleep or some antidepressants, because I'm really fed up with it.
Makes we wonder why I even fought this battle of the last two weeks, when thanks to Apple's changes in macOS's codesigning our new binary wouldn't run on any "real" machine. But according to them packaging and signing is only a trivial issue, nothing to do with code. Yeah, well, then they should do that shit themselves next time.1 -
My most hated term BY FAR is "In theory". It's a lousy-ass, weak excuse for not doing shit properly while distancing yourself from the problem. Short guide: "in theory" may be used prior to or following a statement in which you have little or no confidence in.
The web server shouldn't reach the database server "in theory", it fucking does or doesn't. The SQL cluster shouldn't "in theory" fail over to a working server in case of a hardware fault. Fuck off with your irresponsibility, man up and do things properly. This is the real world, not a sandbox for your shitty dorm room code1 -
A self rant here.
I have noticed how much ever you think of UX by yourself and try to think u are a genius for coming up with it, users are going to shit over your idea anyways.
I recently thought of this genius idea of forcing users to put their "Full Name", cause it elevates the gaming experience, as it's a group party game. For that I thought of adding two boxes: "Full Name" and "Nickname". So users will be forced to put a silly name in the nickname box but in full name they would add their real name.
To my surprise out of everyone who has played my game only 4-5% of people have added their real name, I have had people enter random characters in both the boxes.
I have even mentioned that this information is used to enhance the game experience.. still!!
29 -
My most consistent enemy at work is this fucking system I have to work in, holy shit. Not only is there no default support for shit you would really think there should be, no real control over the interfaces with the UI, and the far too complicated method they use to magically make said interfaces, but we also have to use their build environment to build this shitty thing. So builds take anywhere from 4 to 12 minutes a pop and ridiculous style guide will stop the build, no questions asked, for dumb violations like spaces between if and (. And it doesn't catch these, sometimes, until 7 or 8 minutes in. I have wasted so much time on this. And seeing as we work in 2 week sprints that are really 7 to 10 day sprints based on whatever hair goes up my bosses ass and have to deliver feature complete in those two weeks, I can't really afford all this nonsense. I used to joke about having an alcohol problem, but I think I actually may be developing one at this point.
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Holy shit trying to learn flex-box and only when I turn on reverse-row does everything fall out of its containing boxes. Then I find out that because I'm not hardcore enough to roll my own CSS scaffolding and therefore using material design lite that it is also trying to use flex box plus a few floats here and there......
... First real need to rant, glad I had this outlet3 -
Holy shit my dream last night was the best I had in years. I was basically in this open world (just real life) kinda thing that felt a lot like DayZ with the atmosphere (just no zombies). We we're a lot of friends just running about. But it was also kinda an exploration dream where I went into this bunker on the airfield (I guess) and then it was more like an action horror game where I had to shoot the most disgusting creatures. Except one monster was a cute girl (yeah I don't know). The dream then shifted to cuddling and making out with this super cute girl in bed
Oh man. This dream had it all and it was crystal clear the whole time, it was just amazing
Sorry, not sorry for reading this lol7 -
Come on, how hard can it be?
On every fucking TLV data structure I get to handle, the hobo who defined the structure obviously stopped reading the TLV specification after the second sentence.
Fucked up tags, misuse of length encoding, and as a result no real TLV parser can handle that crap. Workarounds and manual parsing all over the place for *every* *single* interface.
Get your shit together, and if you don't want to handle the complex parts, then at least make the simple types right. -
"If you wanna study some real java shit, drink coffee and take laxatives"
~ Michael Quessenberry c.2017
2 -
If anyone complains one more time about "windows is built upon a DLL-Hell", i will challenge this specific anyone to implement react into an existing PHP-Project.
Installing matching package versions via npm is the real struggle.
Especially if you decide to be a node psycho who's delivering his react code via webpack.
*projectile vomiting in a straight beam of acid vomit*
Wasted a complete day of my life, dealing with Facebook's naughty shit.... -
Becoming a real piece of shit.
When a friend who has no responsibilities and no costs gets a higher paid dev job than I've ever wanted, in an area with a lower CoL.
A normal decent human being would be happy for his friend. I however am not. Guess I deserve what happens1 -
Im dev in a huge company.
I take a 3 days training about the company purposes and goals.
As dev I dont give shit about company aims couse company is borring and there are like 100 levels between them and my real work. -
New Year's goal: find out if linux vulkan/mesa drivers work on my desktop as there's no real reason to not switch now other than maybe that.
Proton, DXVK and Gallium Nine support like 80% of games now (suck it, nvidia users, we get the good ones!) and i've seen performance improvements after switching from Windows builds on Windows to Windows builds on Proton using the same hardware.
Question is: how the hell do I carry over almost 2TB of shit to the new partitions? Also, Virtualbox is a bitch on Linux as if my kernel updates it's fucked and Boxes is trash...11 -
!dev
I was really interested in politics, like always knowing what a politician is doing or saying, watching live streaming of the European Parliament and things like that. But know I'm tired of politics, I'm from Italy and our politicians are shit, like for real. The only one that can beat them is Trump, anyway the real problem is that thanks to them now we have only two sides, you are with me or you are against me, no space for discussions, everyone belives to be right and that the others are wrong. Idk, I'm just sick to live in a country where everything is a mess, that's it.5 -
I have 2 server that run in production that using SQL Server Developer Edition and SQL Server Standard Edition.This was setup by shit people before they all resigned from the company.
I need to upgrade both server to Enterprise Edition.It give me a real pain since both server is on production side now.
Is it possible to upgrade it without any error or long downtime?3 -
Dear real estate industry,
if you define a horrible exchange format as CSV file. Then fucking stick to that specification or give me access to your horrible 90s style tooling so I can at least figure out why every crap tool exports in a slightly different way.
How in the world am I supposed to map your data if you keep changing the field count (which is the only way of validating an exported file).
You pretend to be innovative by specifying an industry wide standard but you aren't able to stick to it.
Fuck you, and the one guy "developing" the specification. Seriously... One guy has the responsibility? Do you really think that's a good idea.
Get your shit together!
Yours,
every developer working in your industry3 -
*Sees an article with the headline 'The simple approach to building a real-time collaborative text editor'"
Before I can finish the thought that "I don't need this shit" a design idea pops up in my mind and I stop myself and say "Fuck", meaning another project for my imaginary projects list. Yay... I need help. I look at certain things and get ideas. Seriously becoming a problem. -
Just burning right through the years of our lives aren’t we ? Same bitch
Same studies
Same unfinished work
Same jack assess
Same bots
I wish people hadn’t gone out of their way to make me feel they were full of shit at points
Liars lying requires some real annoying thoughts to determine if they’re lying 100% of the time or just deceiving because they know you think that6 -
Every profession has people who have done some real shit. You have doctors, lawers, scientists, architects.
I want to be one of those developers who did some real shit. I'm just saying.....6 -
Anyone ever heard of robot framework? Its the biggest pile of shit i have ever seen! WHY THE FUCK CREATE A TEST FRAMEWORK FOR TESTERS WITHOUT REAL CODE AND JUST KEYWORDS WHEN ITS SO FUCKING COMPLICATED TO USE THAT NO FUCKING TESTER CAN DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HELP OF A DEVELOPER. this shit tests cost me hours each week to fix because every minor change breaks like a a dozend of tests... i dont rant often but everytime i have to fucking take a lool at that shit a start to boil...3
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Today, I came across a real problem.
Real.
A friend of mine asked me how could she could compile and rum programs. I just gave her Linux to install, which she just couldn't.
Then I gave her codeblocks and dev c++, which she couldn't work on, due to some error.
thereafter I just to make sure, installed turboc and mingw, and made it work. but unfortunately still, she couldn't make it work when she went home.
Now, either her laptop is piece of pure shit, or I'm not just the right guy fit for technical support. -
time to head into javascript code testing, as i'm annoyed af of testing everything by hand whether my feature works and find the cause to some problems i have encountered
.... but first let me "npm init -y" and "npm i jest" (as the tutorial suggests) real quick in my git project ... whoops😯😐😶🤨 ... woah, ok ... 5000 added files, shit, dependencies 🙄... delete all ... git error😐😥
delete folder manually😪😅
resuming paused tutorial: "and if you've got a git repository, just install jest globally, do not do this in your repo!"
.... just happened to me😑😅2 -
Real Estate agent. I'm good with people and I'm detail oriented - that combination has made me a very successful developer & consultant. I'd probably have built out my own real estate sales support tech (e.g. my own web site, apps, whatever) on my own just to have kept up my technology interest. I like the idea of making 3% commission on $400k home sales for basically doing jack shit but schmoozing clients and keeping up with state laws that can be covered in a 40 hour course and taking a licensing exam.
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Iwd. IWD. iNetWirelessDaemon. Where have you been? No lag at all. Fast. No dependencies. Lightweight. No layers of abstractions...
Since I switched to Arch on my my computer (4 years ago!), I've had to deal with NetworkManager. What a piece of shit. Don't get me started about wpa_supplicant, the piece of software that did the real lifting.
Thanks, Intel! -
So I've bought a new blue key switch mechanical keyboard... And now I want to type on it all the time...
Except, my brain isn't multiprogramming at all and can't focus on other shit when giving a typing test (and not some real code as my end semester exams are going on and I don't want to divert my time anywhere else... But I do waste time... Which is opposite of what I should be doing)
Also, my roommate initially had a bit of problem... But we have now reached a settlement (sorry roommate, but 4x times the price of brown keyboard is what I have on me now... So ig I'm poor. Sorry for disturbance)
So yeah... Good relatively cheap keyboard which I love to type on2 -
!rant
Working on a (mostly) off-grid LAN.
Basically just a real-life meetup in or around Arnhem (eg. somewhere in a park) where we have some banter and some offline IT (or non-IT, whatever people attending want) fun.
Of course, taking the covid-19 shit in mind.
wrote an entire custom DNS server (using DoH only atm) for it, added a Matrix server (along with Element so people have a start) and a wiki for it :)
Still need to add a Gitea server (or similar, any suggestions?) to it tho.
Gonna see to have some trial-runs by myself (or maybe with 1 or 2 people) soon.
Soooo exited o see two months worth of planning and development start coming together :313 -
Holy shit why does change management have to be such garbage? I've never worked anywhere with a formal change process that felt remotely like it adds value. It seems like it's even WORSE when there's a dedicated change/process team. They just get super edgy and jaded, likely because no one wants to follow their ridiculous requirements, and bitch at people whenever the real world happens and things have to happen "out of band".2
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Alright, let me pitch in. You have no real reason not to be a dev, cause there are lots of other jobs that are just plain shit.
You can create a long list of well thought out reasons for not to, especially the seniors. I like to see things in perspective however.1 -
Has the message that this shit is dumb sunk in yet ? Noone would need to verify someone is real till they go crazy if things stopped repeating
If we all reach another era your messed up children will say John was the only sane person from this generation and a few others and that is considering some actual problems being present4
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