Manager: You really shouldn’t be doing that

Dev: It’s in my job description

Manager: Yeah but you still shouldn’t be doing it.

Dev: Who should I hand it off to?

Manager: We don’t have anyone else to hand off that task to.

Dev: Ok, do I stop doing it?

Manager: 😡 Of course not, it needs to get done! I’m just saying you shouldn’t do it.

Dev: ???????????

Interviewer: Do you know what Kubernetes is?

Dev: Yeah, that’s the greek god of spending money in the cloud.

Interviewer: Actually Kubernetes is an orchestration tool. Have you not been on a project that uses it yet?

Dev: …

Boss: Our customer's data is not syncing with XYZ service anynmore!

Me: Ok let me check. Did the tokens not refresh? Hmm the tokens are refreshing fine but the API still says that we do not have permissions. The scopes are fine too. I'll use our test account... its... cancelled? Hey boss, why is our XYZ account cancelled?

Boss: Oh, "I haven’t paid since I didn’t think we needed it" (ad verbatim)

😐

I quit and my last day is next week.

Apparently management has decided that I should spend my last day implementing a new feature for a customer where I have been the only developer, and release it to production (without first implementing it in test) the same day. A feature that potentially could cripple a whole workflow if done wrong.

Of course I advised not to release untested code to production on a friday, just before the only person that knows how it works leaves the company. But no, “the customer reaaaaaally wants it before summer, so just be careful not to write any bugs”.

I’m not saying that I’m intentionally gonna write bad code - but if I do, I’m not gonna pick up the phone when it calls.

Hide yo' wives and yo' onanism, the haxors are cumin... i mean, coming for you!

Found on Reddit :D

It was only a while ago that I realized that “firm” was not quite “hard”, but also not “soft”, hence “firmware”, it's in between hardware and software.

We passed a milestone: 250,000 phpunit testcases.

If it weren't for a heavily parallelized build pipeline which splits it out over 20 servers, it would take about 7.5 hours to complete.

Not hating on PHP, and without tests it would truly be hell...

But still, fucking hell, we outgrew PHP.

Not having a solid type system just means you either accept more bugs, or write thousands of unit tests to guard all the foundational cracks in the system.

On the bright side, I get a coffee break after every commit 😄

To IT: I can no longer clone GitHub repos from the command line.

From IT… Hello DevOps engineer…. You’re no longer allowed to use port 22. It’s not safe. All traffic must be port 443.

Really!?

I can _feel_ something is not right here but can’t quite point my finger at it.

It is the year 2022.
We have multiple robots on Mars.
We have mRNA vaccines.

JIRA does not yet have a dark mode.

Okay that's not a rant BUT I'm very grateful for whoever built Devrant. We definitely needed a safe space to be rude and just let it out without much filter.

To our toxicity 🥂
Cheers!

Manager: Hey Dev I need to do QA on this PR.

Dev: That PR is not finished yet

Manager: Well do QA now anyway, that way when it is finished it can be merged in right away since QA has already been done on it. It’s a project management technique called “fast-tracking” and it improves efficiency.

Dev: …

So the new robot (Dingo) arrived yesterday. Today I did the unboxing, and damn was it disappointing. I realized the university purchased it not from the company I recommended, and they messed up the delivery.
The robot controller was missing, and the charging cable did not match the charging station input. Like dude, you had one job!
Since the lady in administration decided to disregard my recommendation and order from a random shop, she might as well assemble the robot herself....

You’re not just an imposter. You’re the trickster goddess, the deception prodigy, the mastermind. The supervillain surrounded by mere mortals.

Embrace it.

colleague in a planning meeting: so now it's Easter, which in Germany is public holidays on friday and monday
PM: i as a manager would find it great if there weren't any public holidays

yeah not surprised, but thank fuck you're not the one to decide that... some people are trying to have a life^^

Let us pay homage to a classic quote that is so applicable it hurts:

"Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine."

I started to get super pissed off to people saying you don’t need a college, masters degree to get an IT job. Instead go and gain practical knowledge, showing your practical certificates projects is much better than a having a degree that doesn’t prove if you can do the job or not.

Is a degree absolutely necessary to get a job? No, I agree on that. You can tear yourself apart to be known make projects loads of people contribute in GitHub spend maybe years on practicing and creating stuff for your portfolio..

But excuse me what do you think people do in college studying degrees? Are we getting it from the shop in the corner on a Saturday?

Respect people’s achievements and titles. Especially Masters degrees push you hard, make you sweat apart from loads of courses you work at least a year on a practical project, dissertation, thesis and only pass if it is your own opinion and findings. It is not like a multiple choice exam certificate or you study watch videos for few months and create a web page.

Don’t throw shit on people’s efforts and accomplishments without knowing how it is achieved just because you don’t have it.

Yes it is not necessary. Does it make you learn? Yes! Is it practical? Yes! Does it help you get a job? Hell yes! Why most companies look for degrees? Do you think they might know what it takes to get it and the skills and knowledge you gain?

Don’t come and say in IT degrees not worth it without even knowing how to draw UML. Without knowing IT management you go and be a leader later on, no clue on how to manage projects, people and soft skills sweeping the floor.

It doesn’t matter if you are a YouTube celebrity or a president. What does the title say? “Master” now go, respect and digest it! Don’t be a sour loser.

Ooh I am fierce today and not done yet

Action takes place during demo to the stakeholders.
Manager : During the demo we will show a working prototype of new functionality. In this sprint we focused on that feature not on UX. Please do not pay attention to UI and focus on business values
*Dev starts sharing screen*
*1 sec after*
Executive : This is unacceptable. It looks gross, why you don't use default controls.
Manager : We did, this is how they look like, but please do not pay attention to UI, it is not finished
*Dev continue presenting*
*1 sec after*
Executive : I see missing comma in that sentence. It is unacceptable to show features in that state, lets move on to another team.

It was really large feature working as a charm, but they focused entirely on unpolished UI :/

So, I was going to complain about JS being finicky and not making a damned bit of sense, but it turns out that it wasn't JS's fault. Not entirely, anyway. It was the halfassed JS minifier middleware (written by the legendary dev himself) that was breaking the JS while writing it to the page.

The original problem:
My code worked. I removed some comments. Big ol' block of //'s. And suddenly $() isn't a function. But if I call $(); at the top, it all works!

It turns out the "minifier" caused JS to think my code was chaining off the previous JS line in the rendering pipeline instead of being a separate statement. so all it really needed was a `;` at the start. What threw me, though, was the last line of the previous blob of (non-minified) JS was a comment, so it should be a separate statement, right?

But as it turns out...

```
console
// JS really is finicky.
.log('Sigh.');
```

Not really a dev habit, but a habit many devs have.
My beyond fucked up sleep schedule.
SLEEP CAN
SUCK
MY
ASS

I've woken up at 8 and went to sleep at 12 for two days, and I'm beyond happy with the purely accidental progress I've made, really hope to not fuck it up this time like always.

- Hey I have to add new field, but this class is autogenerated, I do not know what tool generates it"
- Your fingers
- But this class has over 20k lines of codes and the header says it is autogenerated.
- It is a inside joke, it was generated by hand

Y'all need to chill!

**DO NOT** downvote a newbie's post without telling them why. It may sound like a spam to you, but it's someone's best effort at an icebreaker joke. 😠

As a PhD student, I do not dare have hobbies. I mean, I don't exactly have time for it. I could make time for it, but then the phd would take forever.
☹️

Me, talking to a colleague:
"No, thats impossible. The problem can not be in my code. Let me show you why. You see, the code does this, and than it goes here, and then… oohhhh…. I’ve found the bug."

Eu was sorting out the rules for Carbon Tax.

It decided that private jets, private yachts, and "leisure flights" will be exempt.

Because of course. Normal people are not, and never were, the clients of this system.

“The trick is learning not to give a fuck about it”

Just went through my first week of working while on chemo. Life is hell and I'm contemplating not being a part of it anymore. It's only going to get worse and worse.

The key to survive your job, is to not really care.
But I am that kind of person who takes my job personally, and it becomes a part of my identify, and companies exploit it.

Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,

my boss asked me to log in 1h30 after i logged off because "a user has been experiencing this bug the entire day and i should fix it because we're on maintenance tomorrow " but a) it's a known bug that we can't reproduce, he should've notified sooner the issue; b) it's not a big deal, i can fix it tomorrow, it's just not ticking a column in the database; c) I'm off work, go cry about it

Knowing that ending it is not an option

my boss praised me again, for just routine stuff, doing my job. I'm not even doing it too well. he said "oh but it's not about that, it's just that you're doing it". oh. honey... that's a really sad thing to say 😂

Recruiter story.. hilarious stuff..

I have an interview in next fifteen minutes and was setting up for it.

Recruiter calls me to remind me of the same.

I ask her to tell me who the interviewer would be, because she did not mention in the invite and also did not respond when I asked her over the email.

Her response: sure, wait a minute... Actually we are not allowed to disclose interviewer.

LMAO WTF!!

It only took us 5 hours to debug. It's fine. I'm not mad that it was just rate limiting. I'm fine. We're fine. It's fine.

It's not a compsci paper if it doesn't start the intro with "Recent advances in [insert name of subfield] show that ..."

Got an email from a stakeholder about a $0 transaction for an item that was not meant to be $0. Found someone put a condition in the code to set the price to $0 if it couldn’t be queried from the database. Wut…that is…not logical 😵‍💫😵

I contributed to my first open source project on GitHub. It is so much better and fun to do. Why have I not been doing this since 🤔😊😁

We were in a meeting today and it came my turn to talk.

me: "I am working on something not fun. I am tracking down a bug in X software that a customer has issues with."
boss: "It is like an easter egg hunt."
me: "Yes, but instead of eggs I am going to find a pile of crap."
boss: "Laughs..."
me: "Its not chocolate..."
boss: "next..."

The original code I am wading through is very likely my boss' code.

I was going to write this in a jovial ranty style but I just can't, its too serious. So I'll just say it:

Do not touch your colleagues screen, ever. It's the height of rudeness. You can point without touching, it's not hard. Thanks.

I got a "Revise and Resubmit" response from the journal. Reviewer #1 wanted me to implement some baselines to compare against my method and he cited 6 papers. 5 of them did not have open-source code, and it's not like you can re-implement, train models and fine-tune someone else's approach in 2 weeks. The last one had code, for Ubuntu 14 (may its soul rest in peace), OpenCV version from the time America and Europa were connected and CUDA toolkit that was carved in stone in a cave.
I was bawling my eyes out, thinking about how many days it would take trying to Docker it to work. But then I realized the approach he cited was for RGB-D data, while I only use RGB camera. That's like letting a sniper with an M82 compete in archery....

Your code is supposed to solve the primary problem you have. It is not supposed to create problems and solve those problems you do not have initially.

YouTube: new rap video?

Me: menu > not interested.

Later...

YouTube: new rap video?

Me: menu > not interested.

Later...

YouTube: new rap video?

....

I get gold from YouTube's algorithm sometimes, but it should know by now that I couldn't care less about new rap videos.

Sometimes it feels like I'm not as passionate towards coding as I was before. Seeing bright-eyed juniors with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge makes me wish I could feel the same again. I mean I still like it and all, but it's just not the same.

The Dev life is not for me.
I need to figure out exactly what it is I want to do.

Not ONLY does the new code a coworker wrote straight up not work (and they somehow managed to merge it to master) but it also broke an entirely unrelated endpoint due to an abstraction they tried to make. Very clear they didn't even run their code at all.

Me: "I'm not overdoing it!"
Also me: "It's Tuesday, I needed a 3 hour nap."

Best decision: becoming self-employed.

Worst decision: not doing it 5 years earlier.

SAP is not a business system. Its goal is not to solve any kind of business problem. SAP is a club. Just like Supreme clothes, it's expensive for the sake of being expensive. Everyone else also knows they're expensive, and this is why you buy them. If you adopt SAP, you do it just to show potential investors that you have money. SAP is designer clothes of IT.

I kinda thought about it, and it was confirmed by a person who worked with SAP for the last 20 years.

New opportunity coming to the people who try. Got this opportunity, i better not suck at it. Give it regular time everyday to earn atleast some title before my degree.

My first contact with an actual computer was the Sinclair ZX80, a monster with 512 bytes of ram (as in 1/2 kbyte)

It had no storage so you had to enter every program every time and it was programmed in basic using key combinations, you could not just write the commands since it did not have memory enough to keep the full text in memory.

So you pressed the cmd key along with one of the letter keys and possibly shift to enter a command, like cmd+p for print and it stored s byte code.

it is really frustrating not to be able to actually maintain and improve the code you're working with. i'd be happy to completely dig in and live in the code and get it all - not so much fucked up - , or, totally spitballing here, do some research on how we could improve the functionality and performance in general (which is not "nice to have", but rather ongoing customer pain points), but I'm not allowed to, because management hates having maintainable code or even an adequate number of devs. it rather has me doing hippity hoppity between different projects to make sure nothing gets my full attention. -.-

the only thing i can do is to clean it up a bit during bug fixes, but even heavy polishing won't fix this giant pile of garbage that is called our code base.

I’m not sure how I feel about it

The device looks cool and everything....but their reason we should buy it is the winner for me. Not only is that never a problem...but also, spot the mistake

Found a bug which occures because a certain array has not the right order. At the place where it gets relevant, I found a comment written by myself ages ago 'sorting the array is not necessary because blabla'

... NICE TRY PAST SELF, BUT YOU WHERE JUST FUCKING WRONG.

Can anyone recommend any good IT / hacker related films that are not HACKERS or THE MATRIX. Thanks.

If there are bugs in your code, the problem 100% of the time is that you’re not using Rust. Just rewrite it in Rust, and all bugs, security, and performance issues will disappear. Any software not currently written in Rust should be rewritten in Rust. Rust is all you need to know as a Software Engineer. This future is Rust. Welcome to Software3.

I'd rather take a swim in a moist human massgrave than fix any more bugs of this cancer-inducing "selfmade" CMS developped by a "company" that shall not be named.
Sadly I am not aware of any such pit in the neighborhood, thus more bugfixing it is... yay ⚰️

Framework propagator clowns often tell me dOnT rEiNvEnT tHe wHeEl 🤡
Bitch, F1 car wheel and shopping cart wheel are not the same. I will reinvent the wheel every time, and it will be perfect for the job.

If a tree falls over in the woods..
And important dev work gets done and shipped,
And it's not in JIRA.. did it even really happen..

this client couldn't figure out pagination.

and whenever items moved to next page

he could not find it.

He would create a new one.

We're having build system problems and I'm probably the most experienced when it comes to build systems.

I'm not experienced with build systems.

Hey GitHub Idiot No Need To Write Capitalized Issue Requests Like This It Makes You Look Incompetent We Are Not Working In .NET Here On GitHub

just absolute 🤡

I am using do while ONLY on programming exercises. And do not remember a single case I have used it for anything real.

Me, programmer(not employed yet): you know what is crazy about coding test? I can easily do manually what test said, but teaching it to computer is surprisingly hard.

My brother, teacher(not graduated yet): I can easily solve middle school problems too, but teaching to kids is hard part. It seems like we do similar thing.

Why does google do this? It's supposed to be a map, not a fucking travel guide, I want to see the motherfucking map that it so ironically calls itself
Swallow a Collins road atlas whole you fucking impostor.

Me: Can you tell me how to do X?
ChatGPT: yes, you can do xwz!
Me: I researched your suggestion and every source I find mentions that you should not do it because it would mess with the UI thread, amongst other side effects.
ChatGPT: Yes, you should not do xwz.

I’m kinda liking this thing, it’s full of noob traps.

Facebook is a giant piece of shit. Not only is their platform a massive contributor to mental illness, even their API's are fucking garbage. I'm trying to use their ads API and what it does is it hijacks the entire fucking request so you can't even extract data from the request after calling it. Fuck Facebook and everything they've ever "contributed" to society.

Today I got a chance to completely unironically say "it's not a bug, it's a feature".

It wasn't anything that would qualify as a bug. It was a new button for a new feature. But it broke automatic tests, so the tester called us and said it's a bug. He even added it to our backlog. Meanwhile our entire team was laughing our asses off. Can't wait to label it as won't fix, with a comment "it's a feature"

I will tell you a UDP joke but you might not get it xD

Today is the day I contributed to the open source software for the first time.
It may not be a big thing for someone but for me it is.

I FUCKING HATE VISUAL STUDIO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY THINKS I WANT TO UNDO SINCE I PRESSED THE MOTHER FUCKING BACKSPACE KEY
ITS NOT MY KEYBOARDS FAULT ITS LITERAALLY THEIR DUMBASSES NOT KNOWING HOW TO MAKE AN IDE ATA ALL
HOLY SHIT MICROSOFT LEARN HOW TO MAKE BETTER IDES OTHER THAN YOUR SHITTY IDE

Why even is Microsoft Teams?

Why does it suck so bad? Why is it a memory hog? Why does the ELECTRON desktop app not have native ARM64 support neither on Windows nor macOS? Why is it even an Electron app? Why the web version does not work with Safari (then again, barely anything more complex than my portfolio site works on Safari)? Why is the UI from 2016? Why is it preinstalled with Windows 11? Why the pre-installed Windows 11 version is a completely different entity? Why the preinstalled Windows 11 version does not work with school/work version of Teams calls?

Product people always have something to say in a meeting 🤦‍♀️, regardless of beneficial or not. They just need to speak. It's like they have an urge inside to pee, and they have to let it go in a meeting. Always.

Even with something as simple as pagination, it's possible to create a complete accessibility abomination. Dear designer, you've perfected your flat design style.

Fuck you! I'm not coding this.

It's a website about selling solar panels, underfloor heating etc... Not a single piece of design reminds it.

Coworker who mostly works from home: "Who took my keyboard?"
Me: "Someone needed it for testing yesterday. It's over there"
Coworker: "Why does it always have to be my stuff when I'm not around"

"Hey Bobby, can you do XYZ for me? I can do it myself but it's such a pain in the ass"

So why the fuck would I do it if you can do it yourself? Guess what it's a pain in the ass for me too! And it's not even my problem!

!rant
"What's the best browser that doesn't devour all of my HW resources?"

Seriously guys, Opera GX. You can set how much ram and cpu it eats, and it only eats that much. Yes, even to the point of it being unresponsive and laggy, because it keeps itself within the boundaries you set.

Seriously. Regardless of the number of tabs.
Also, it looks nice.

Downsides: You forget WHY it lags sometimes, so you get irritated, but when you remember, the irritation turns to smile.

I am not a paid shill, i'm just a user and I use it primarily and only for that single feature.

Dear modern browsers: The site I'm working on is NOT Portuguese. Don't offer to translate it when there are literally zero non-English words in it.

Fuck off.

In some unpredictable turn of events, ignoring my PR for 6 months will cause said code to not be aligned anymore with develop.

And it gets wilder: if you reject my PR for this retarded bullshit, I may not react in the civilest of ways.

I do not usually shit on operating systems or participate on hate discussions about tech and what not.

But boy, Windows 11 does fucking suck and it is giving me Vista vibes regarding how much I fucking hate it. And no, unfortunately I cannot change this PC to Linux (as I have before with other work computers) since I need Windows for it.

I know I’m not the only Numpy lover in the house. It deserves its own song…I’m pretending I haven’t already written one…

That time when I ranted about wanting to commit suicide but not having enough energy to go and buy a gun.

That day in the evening, I asked my GF: "I think that the whole life is a humongous rationalization on top of biological avoidance of death".

She has an untreatable neurological disease. She told me "I found out it's a consensus among different philosophers. It absolutely is. I just prefer not to think about it".

Developing pornographic / adult themed apps- would you be willing to do it? If not why, if so why? How does one become a developer for a platform like pornhub?

Today, a freelance javascript developer at my office told me that he designed a new website for one of his customers. I was intrigued that he is also designing and was very interested.

He showed me some images and I asked how he designed it. I thought he would come up with Figma, Sketch or whatever software, but he showed me the AI prompt.

I told him that he did not design it, but AI did that, prompting AI is not designing. He did not agree and rephrased it as "I made this".

After I said "But if I go to a bakery and ask for a cake with some nice decorations, and the baker is making that, I did not make the cake". He angry said, "You don't understand AI," and put his earplugs in and isn't talking to me since.

Prompting an AI is not creating. The AI/computing power with it's context is creating your stuff..

Ask me about that one time a motherfucking LOG STATEMENT caused the code to not work properly, breaking both the Test and QA environments, but failed in a way that made it maddening to figure out (in conjunction with the cloud-based hosting environment and the abomination that is centralized logging, which just makes EVERYTHING more difficult).

Actually, DON'T ask me about it, because it was today, it wasted most of my day, and I'm still salty as fuck about it.

"I have been pressing this button for FOUR HOURS now, and STILL it does not work!!"

This planet is lame. Apparently there is a company called “Microsoft” that is not micro by any means, and it even sells hardware. Unacceptable.

So you heard from that awesome tool that apparantly everybody uses.

Go to the web page:
One single continuous page in 90ies style with random blahblah targetting expert users and various edge cases without context. Some lines about arcane build commands in an unfamiliar language.

Not even a single, comprehensive line, what it does, what it is good for, no minimal example or hint even how to run it.

So you write thousands of lines of dense code, but are not able to drop some first lines of plain, understandable english for people just visiting the first time? How hard could it be? Fuck you, srsly.

However pathetic it may sound, I haven't. I've made good acquaitances, yes. But friends...

Last I had friends was in my first uni years. Long, long ago. After that - they went on their path and I - on mine. Work, family, personal projects and sometimes moto rides - that's my life now. Not really much time for friends. Not really much time to make any. Not enough time in a day to think/worry about it, not to mention reconsider my priorities/choices.

Why do Android apps not clear their own irrelevant notifications?

For example: If I mark all notifs as read within the devRant app, or archive an email in Gmail, or read a message in the Jira app, why does it not clear the status bar notification?

Is there a good reason, or is it just often overlooked by developers to perform a cleanup action like this?

Windows is the JavaScript of OS’s, we criticize it everyday but we still use it everyday, if not by choice then it’s by force 🤣🤣

Smartphones ruined social media. msn, yahoo, ICQ, even Facebook for some years - i loved them before. When you felt lonely you just looked who was online from your list and said hello and chat a bit because most likely the person sat in front of his or her PC and had time. At least it was indicated by the online status. I miss this feeling sometimes very much.
Now that everyone is online all the time this is gone. Among grown ups you only write someone if you have something important to say like setting up a date or what, and among the younger you send only memes. And even if you start a conversation you don't (and can't) expect a real time answer but see it as so called async comversation.

PhD saga update.

Been keeping up with other candidates, and seems some have gotten their acceptance offers. I haven't. I'm losing hope. Sad. Very sad. 😞

Tachycardia is not fun, and I did not sign up for it. But apparently this ^ saddens me more than it should.

Question: is it a red flag if I'm "not supposed to" blog about tips and tricks I've found at work (not even code level, just organization and general design patterns)? Reason given to me: "we need to be careful about due diligence and intellectual property for our investors to be satisfied". Am I working with idiots?

I've ditched Python for Julia for scientific computing. Documentation is definitely not as great but I find it so much more convenient.

DOS is not “Disk Operating System”. DOS, aka QDOS, is “Quick and Dirty Operating System”. This is real. Google it.
Similarly, Windows CE is not “Compact Embedded”. It's “Chaotic Evil”.

It is not rejex, it it short for regular expression

There is a constructed language called Tokipona. It was made to be the easiest language, and it only contains like 137 words or so.

This language is a perfect demonstration of “expressivity”. Tokipona is not very expressive. Before you know it, your sentence is obscenely long, and you didn't even convey the full meaning of what you wanted to say.

It's also the case with “easy” programming languages and frameworks. Code quantities rise exponentially, and the more code you have, the more bugs there are. There is no magic. And then you have to debug it. Not so easy, huh?

Confucius says: not everything that can be done tomorrow, should be done today.

Let's just say it was an extension of the shit show that occurred this week and sweep it under the rug 🤐

Happy fucking Friday!!!

Brothers and sisters I have ascended

From my early chilidhood I was taught by my parents & society that I should put effort into doing things that I "MUST", be kind and polite to others

Tis' all bullshit; never lift a finger if you do not feel like it; never help people free of charge; if you dislike a particular undertaking then it is not worth even an ounce of effort.

We live in a society.

> Contribute to someones project
> Wait half a month for a response
> Ping them
> Have your PR denied without reason
> ??
> 'I reviewed it, and I'm not gonna include it.'
How about you say WHY you didn't?!

The Project Management Triangle "fast-cheap-good (pick two, you can't have all three)" is something I've never agreed with.

How would you promise to build something good & cheap?
Doing it slowly will not really make it cheaper. The cost is usually development hours. If it takes 40 hours to make a good product - doing it 2 hours per day isn't going to make it cheaper.

I am currently working as a consultant and I like it. It also makes upset/happy/schadenfroh (not entirely sure how I feel about it) when we tell the client what work needs to be done in which order and why just so they can throw it all overboard and we do it the way they want it and it bites them in the ass a few month down the line.
They hire us for the external professional experience that we bring, so listen to us. We did this before, we know what works, and we know way your way does not work.

Who the fuck at google thought it was a good idea to not let you log out from a single account in gmail when multiple are logged in in the browser. You have to log out of all of them all or not at all. And it is a new change, i can remember being able to do that previously. Just why?

Absolutely nothing excites me anymore in this field. Tech is such a commodity and I’m just so over all of it. Not gonna go all Ted Kaczinsky but I find myself longing for a time when not everything and everyone was controlled by computers. We’re not far from total transhumanism and despite what some may believe, that’s not a good thing.

It should have been named Monty and not Python. It is so misleading, now everyone thinks it is because of the snake

Has someone an idea why KDE Neon has this buggy text rendering and how to fix it? Google is not my friend with this problem.. It's often the text which is buggy but sometimes everything else is buggy too..

Of course, the variable for fields should be called "flds", those 2 bytes saved will help us so much! For a small price of this shit being not really readable anymore. Is it "floods"? "fleeds"?

What is it about robot collected data that makes researchers so anal? Like, dude, it's not even personal data. It's literally robot's joint motor recordings. It's not nuclear data, so why the fuck do you protect it like your life and your country depend on it?

I hope you get fisted by that data every night and how it will end up in oblivion sooner because you didn't publish it. You asshole.

How difficult is it to get one thing right -v and --version should show bloody software version, not give me the usage prompt.

I am embrassed.. :(

Situation was..

It was 3-4 months ago I written the process but now client was saying it is not working so I just need to update value in array..

I spent 2-3 hours everything was good..
only in the statement where I am assigning the value is not working.
I was like dude wtf call your senior why its not working .. everything is correct.. then suddenly my eyes catch the rubbish thing I did..

this is what I used mistakenly for assignment "=="

:( and I was looking at statement from 1-2 hour.. it just wasted my time

I haven't said anything yet, but an AltRant notification server exists. Support for it will arrive very very soon on the AltRant app. It will run locally on the end user's personal computer, and it does not require a constant connection to the phone. Both devices need to be connected to the same local network on first connection, but after that you can wander out of your house or disconnect from the local network and still receive notifications.

DISCLAIMER: ALL SENSITIVE USER CREDENTIALS ARE NOT STORED *ANYWHERE* EXCEPT ON THE LOCAL USER'S MACHINE. NO DATA IS SENT TO ME. THE SERVER IS OPEN-SOURCE, HAS NO RELEASE BINARIES AND RUNS ON PYTHON.

Note to @dfox: if you want this to not exist or not be supported inside AltRant, please tell me or send me an email about it.

!rant

Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !

Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁

Cheers to you all! 😘

how infuriating is it when you (very much not a frontend dev) have to do "tweaks" to the UI

Recruiter: blablabla would you be interested in this job ?

Me: It looks great, hell yes I'm interested!

Recruiter: When are you available for a quick call?

Me: I'm not interested anymore.

Pycharm could be a nice tool, if only it was not nagging about the professional version and the tools related to it so often. Shit can't even find the jupyter notebook crap. 🙄

NGL, open science feels like anarchy.

the worst part about studying networks is that I can't even say it's useless and that i won't use it in my life, because it's very not true. it's a pain, but god dammit I should know this shit

I always find it frustrating that additional requirements and changes are added and the deadline is not extended

One good thing about working at a shitty place is you end up knowing what not to do by just pure pain.

I once consulted for a company who had the latest tech - kubernetes, bit bucket, you name it. But it didn't matter. The code was shit. It's not about the tech, it's always about the people that use the tech.

I'll just use my Android tablet to set up Alexa, how hard can it be..

"Your device is not supported"...

So..

Add on todo list, upgrade OS on tablet..

How hard can that be . . .

"Please move the logo left. The text goes a bit under."

Do you guys think people realize how unclear they are, and are just too fucking lazy to write the full spec? Or are they just so fucking stupid they don't realize I literally have no fucking clue what to do exactly with comments like these?

I guess Hanlon's razor applies here, but some days I just don't know...

Happy Friday! ☠️

If you're filling a ticket on a team, make sure it includes EVERYTHING that is needed to complete the ticket so anyone on your team can complete it, not just the people with institutional knowledge.

Reason why I'll never apply to those fuckers. How hard is it not to fucking spam when you present yourself as a legitimate company?

I just report them as spam now lmao

Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.

When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.

Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up.

Today was a bad dev day working on a shitty React project. Not that React in itself is bad, but it can be hell to work with when the code is a big pile a crap full of anti pattern code. I spent the day refactoring to try to fix a bug, but to no avail. It would take days if not weeks to put some order in this mess and to prevent such bugs.

I may not know how to do something, but I know how not to do it.

Looks like I got dislike-banned as well... eventhough I only used it where appropriate.
I understand that our almighty gods dfox and trogus implemented this to fight bots and mischievous downvote cunts, but why not inform the user affected by it?
I fucking hate these silent bans, just like Twatter and YouTwat do it... you feel like you posted something but in reality it disappears and you're not even aware of it.

Man, nowadays a lot of people behave like bots thus I can't blame The Algorithm™...

Doctor: "I have some news about your baby."
Parents: "Don't tell us the gender, we want to keep it a surprise."
Doctor: "Oh I get it, you're those type of people. Okay, well IT is not breathing."

So why on earth would Postgres not spell this correctly?
```select rolname from pg_roles;```
Is it that someone could not spell rolename correctly?

> # Changelog
>
> ## x.y.z
>
> - Added something
> - Fixed something
> - Other changes

'Other changes'?! What other changes! Either tell me what they are or don't even add it, considering usually not every little thing is listed in the first place..

Some wordpress plugin can't do a certain job in background, instead I was forced to keep the window open for nearly two hours, until my laptop froze and it had not reach 50% !!

An image says better than thousand words 👇🏻

Been using Linux for about a year, now starting to customise it. Since it's full of Gnome garbage, I'll test out everything and then do a fresh install. Deadline is September 3rd, if it does not work fast and reliably till then I'll have to get Gnome because I need it for school.

Let the race begin.

I want to do something data-science-y.
Gimme project ideas, and where can I get the data for it?

Also, not looking for machine learning, just basic data analysis stuff.

I'm bored.

Don’t you feel like development with Android Studio is 50% figuring out why the f*ck is not building, or running, resetting cache, clean build, rebuild… etc, and 50% coding? Or is it my lack of experience?

Hail Adventurer,

By Linus, do not fear what you see
and curse not I, but those before me

hold steady in the storms to come
brace for bugs, wherever from

I pass on to you, the light of PHP
Use it well, to fight against scrutiny

if it works, keep it so, ask not why
my time is over, while yours is nigh

Do not disturb is your best friend. Never forget about it!

Does anyone else have a home screen widget that is their contact details as a QR code?

And has anyone found a not-shit android app that'll do it?

I CBA to make one but also it's really useful. I hacked it together with an app that'll scan a QR code and display it as a widget.

These 🤡clowns🤡 are so dependent on me and I'm just sick of it, not to mention I simply don't have the time.

I wanted to say drawing, but whenever I feel like it, it's because I have a standup meeting in an hour. Does a coping mechanism qualify as a hobby? 🤪 If not, then analog photography.

Kinda wanna say my teammates are incompetent morons but the truth is I'm not much better

So saying that about them would be admitting it about myself

If now me were to visit 2016 me to say “In 2022 an AI will teach you how to code for quantum computers,” 2016 me would not believe it.

I implemented the equivalent of “?.” In typescript with a function callled safeRetrieve(descend into the field only if the object is not null).

We could not update typescript, so I just created this function and it made me used to use ‘keyof T’ as a parameter type… I still feel very satisfied after I use this approach with anything because it really feels like using typescript correctly!

Runs linter
168 files changed
"Yeh not gonna commit that because other will think I worked on it and send questions my way, I rather live in peace"

Should you not know or not have realised it years after your study: "video" literally means "I see" and "Volvo" (the Swedish car brand) means "I roll" in Latin.

I hate it when managers and team members don't utilise JIRA as the one source of truth.

When you move your card into the Review column, set the assignee to `unassigned` so that people know to pick it up. It's so much easier to understand the state of it !

"But then we don't know who's worked on it" - is NOT a valid reason to leave the original author as the assignee. It just leads to work not being reviewed.

No, the language is not stupid :) No, it is not a problem of the language, it's just the fact that you don't really understand how to use it properly :) i think this is something each of us hates to hear while frustated but needs to hear afterwards, bad design is a posibility tho, but 99.999% of the cases is our fault. face it, nd overcome it! and finally, to grow beyond it 😄

<<edited with my potato phone's standard image editor>>

Now, why would Teams calls only work on Chrome and not Firefox? Is anyone aware of any technology constraints, or is it just Microsoft being dicks?

I don't know if on the outside it seems like I know my shit and I know what I'm doing or not, but on the inside, I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I'm just going with my gut and hoping for the best and I don't know if people are actually falling for that or not.

Planning ahead and not fucking directly dive into it and produce garbage that works but looks awful

Tried bumble. It was lame. It would not let me make a profile without a photo. Supplied a rough drawing of myself. It felt betrayed so it nagged constantly about a photo even while I was trying to delete the damn app.

I do absolutely hate when apps feel entitled to my info. Like, it's okay to ask, but I also feel better about deleting your app than downloading it. Fair is fair I guess. But also... It's not fair that these lame apps get so much revenue either.

So what other apps should I try for finding friends locally?

The weather is so hot that I can use it as an excuse for the slowness of my brain melted software

Cool these chips better, not my fault

Windows is not full of surprises. One can expect the (light) blue screen.

(Picture in comments because it stretches like yo mama pussy in the post)

If it's not a ticket, it doesn't get done.

That simple.

Python be like:
TypeError: 'callable_iterator' object is not callable
and also:
TypeError 'callable_iterator' object is not subscriptable

Why the fuck did you name it "callable iterator" if you can't call it, or iterate it.

boss: someone fix these it's not working *3 problems highlighted on screenshot*

problem 1: something went wrong when updating the data, i fixed it in a minute
problem 2: not our problem, send an email
problem 3: wait isn't this the task *boss* handles?

If it does not crash your code, it is a feature

Not going insane due to lack of documentation.
In retrospect it may have been that I was still learning to properly apply and read docs so eh.

!dev

Is it possible to buy clothes nowadays and not look like a teenager ffs!!

Spent the day working on a concept for a Survival, Twin Stick Shooter, Tower Defence game. not sure if it will work yet, but everyone I have ran my Concept by really likes it.

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it then it is not that good.

To you, who use Windows 11. Is there at least one feature that makes you glad you switched from 10 to 11? Or maybe not necessarily glad, but it would make you appreciate the new OS? One thing that would make the upgrade worth it... I myself can not think of a single fucking thing. (Please don't say better HDR support, that's the one most often mentioned feature. Definitely not good enough reason to have a new OS)

I get it — it’s not fashionable to be part of the overly enthusiastic, hype-drunk crowd of deep learning evangelists, who think import keras is the leap for every hurdle.

Guy wrote a whole ass thread explaining how to fix it and its not a big issue but the manchild elon musk's ego couldn't handle being wrong so he fired him

To whom it may concern:
The Monty Python argument skit does not exist.

Same sh*t different day. Let me play with my pet project! I know it does not earn me anything, but hey it will make millions in the future once it's done! I am sure! :D

Not sure how to feel.

Just landed on a stackoverflow querstion. Originated by myself 5 years ago. With a long discussion and a solution.

Sooo how the fuck I don't remember it at all ?

> Start a new project
> Search for modules / libraries you will need
> Find something promising
> See that it's not well maintained
> I'm just gonna send a quick PR
> Proceed to rewrite most of it.
> Huh ..
> Repeat~

Tru-lyfe CTO (CTC) stories:

I spelled a juniors name wrong in a commit message...

Am I an asshole?

P.S.: it was 100% fully NOT on purpose, it's just an alternate spelling of the name, i.e. Jakob instead of Jacob (not the name of course, for privacy purposes, just an example)

Code what you enjoy. Don't code what people say will "improve your skills." If something interests you, learn about it. Also, try broadening your interests. Learn new things that you may not have thought about before. It might be fun.

I’m not from the US and I know the internet likes to exaggerate, but I want to know, is racism that bad over there? Give me an example of how bad it is.

Trying to mock Azure storage was like a toxic relationship it gives a little bit of progress and hope to keep you around and goes back to the beginning and gets nowhere! Nope not doing it!

And I owe it to these words:

A great warrior knows when to quit!

do you guys have problem with not receiving the proper tools for work where you live? here in brazil it seems like a given that companies won't provide good software and hardware for workers

Who here listens to Coldplay."fix you" when you having bugs in your code and it seems you will not have a break through...

So there's azure data studio, shiny! nice!

Oh hey, wow, an Oracle extension! Great!! Now I can use one tool for all my database queries!

But wait...

Below is the list of current limitations:

- Server management and dashboard are not supported
- Packaged objects are not supported
- Table data preview/editing is not supported
- Query execution is not supported

So you're telling me that you can connect and... that's it?
What's the point? Why??

That's like saying: Here's a toaster. But here's the thing's you *can't* do:

- Toast bread

But at least you can look at it. Seriously, what the ****.

Do NOT try to re-implement input type="number" but with nicer formatting. Do not even think about it. DO FUCKING NOT. It's a trap.

I have an idea. Since to statistics of Porn watchers are increasing. Why not we create a sex toy that generates energy when user masturbate with it?

Renewable energy.

Not me the multimedia dev intern helping the IT guy how to use excel

I have these gulp tasks to preprocess my css and html. months ago it was all polished and working great.

I run the commands today, npm complains about deprecated something and doesn't let me run... I do updates, I try to run again: "Right now osX is not supported".

I literally did not change anything all these months.

Fuck you npm.

Hacktoberfest is out of shirts already. It is a bit weird to be sad about not getting a free T-Shirt and borderline choosing-beggar, but damn this year's shirt looks sick.
I feel a bit cheated :(

A couple of weeks ago, I asked what would happen if we sent a duplicate request to our partner; nobody knew. This week we found out, as it turns out, not great things.

Worst: Not landing a decent job
Best: dev-wise, none really.

It has been a rather shit year, really.

TL;DR: don’t use Array.forEach use
for … of … instead.

Array.forEach is synchronous, but pass it an async function and the bastard does not await it.

I was so sure that it was sync….

Wasted 2h

Honest question: Is Jira really that bad?
Iam using Jira. It is not blazing fast nor is the UI amazing but I wouldn't rate it so badly.

That said, when the UI gets cluttered it's mostly company-internal stuff that fills up space (not only Jiras fault). I also don't use confluence.

But I see so many rants on it, is this just people jumping on the hate-hype-train?

ok, but this is cool. it’s an image that renders differently on apple and non-apple devices. not sure if devRant will process it so it doesn’t work, but this is cool. also a huge vulnerability for apple, but cool.

Slacking off on tests for medium size projects. I have one project that I consider a major achievement as of today, the NPM package @lbfalvy/react-await. It has like two tests and it does a _lot_ more than two things.

Don't get me wrong, I test it thoroughly, but not in an automated way.

Manager : You really shouldn't be doing that

Dev : Its in my job description

Manager : Yeah but you still shouldn't be doing it.

Dev : Who should I hand it off to?

Manager : We don't have anyone else to hand off that task to.

Dev : Ok , do I stop doing it?

Manager : 😡Of course not , it needs to get done! I'm just saying you shouldn't do it.

Dev : ????????

cure my disorder
I will either destroy you with chemicals made precisely to wipe out scum like you, or with a good old handgun.
You’re not making it alive out of 2023. I promise. Your days are numbered.

Had to add some functionality to another guys GUI code.
He gave me a "template" file (copy of another module), pointed at several places and said: "Make your changes here, here, and here. Do not ask why, do not even think about it. Just do it."

remember Occam’s and Newton’s razors? I propose the bezos razor: “If it can’t be sold, it’s not worth discussing”.

Every time there is a new project, we programmers swear to ourselves that we will code it better this time. We get elated that we do not have to deal with the tech debts piled up in the old module.

#DailyRant

I don't like Laravel Livewire and the architectural aspect of it. Every key stroke is a call to the server. The freedom of designing the minute behaviours are taken away. (e.g. border-bottom on a certain div). The maintain ability is not good either. Change one variable name and the whole thing breaks and it's difficult to pinpoint where it broke exactly. And the most of all, it's not beginner friendly.

My chest feels lighter now. Thanks.

Debbuging options that no customer uses since it makes the logs unreadable.

Formatted the logs and in 3 Years Not one customer used the feature or asked for it.

---------

An automatic tool (like smartgit) for our internal use. Not one uses it, instead they still complain about git