Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

This couldn't be any truer, in our totally flawed education system.

I trust machines more than humans.

Except when I'm hitting that Ctrl+S. Gotta hit it at least like 4 times before I can start believing :-P

So true...

I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)

What a weird age we live in!!!
We need to prove machines that we are not machines...
#captcha

Isn't that weird?!?

Captcha is the key to winning the war against the machines!!?

Terrifying really

Have to share some pillow talk with the wife last night - somehow got onto the subject of washing machines. Mentioned that most washing machines run on something like Java, she disagreed and said they run on buttons. BUTTONS!!

Told her I would be putting this on devrant.

Funny how the "change is good" popup comes up while I'm trying Ubuntu out

If the machines do rise up and take over the world, I just hope my devices remember how good i was to them.

So, my boss just overwrote an entire disk with a dd command. Now no of the virtual machines are accessible.

This is going to be a great day.........

Turing test reversed

When machines take over the world, at least we'll be the last ones with a job

My school computers are *the most secure machines* on the planet as per the network admins at school.

A simple Unix command like sudo -i allows you to break in the system with "root" as password.

Pretty secure, right?

DevRant is madness

Screen shots of people installing Linux on Game consoles.
Windows on soda machines.
macOS on anything.

Madness I tell you. MADNESS!

"We don't need that network profile for this interface anymore."

*Removes*

*40+ virtual machines lose network connectivity*

"Huh. That shouldn't have happened...Well, I gotta catch my flight. Machoog, you got this?"

*Panic!*

Having a server with a lower spec CPU and RAM than dev machines, to ensure that if it works on the dev machine it will always run perfectly on the server.

This means we can avoid any debugging tools or techniques (including console logs), because “it will be perfect and it’s not necessary”.

Discovered the beauty of virtual machines

Portugal is burning
500+ fires active
31 confirmed deads in 1 day...
A large one almost reached my house, saved by two man with construction machines. Still houses burned, gás bottles exploding like shotguns at a distance...
It's the end off the summer...
And now im at work, a new fire started close by...

Friend: Hey did you saw this neural network which can solve captchas?
Me: No, does that even exist?
Friend: Yes, its awesome, isn't it?
Me: Yeah, awesome...
Inner Me: Now machines are already better at solving captchas than me :/

System engineer to Director: We can clone the machines for extra capacity.
Director in meeting later that day: It's ok, they can make clowns of the machines.

I want to see a movie where machines gain intelligence and go to war with humanity, only to be defeated when some guy deletes a single semi-colon from their code.

Saw this in a Tumblr blog. Lol

Got fired.
Fuck
3 days on the job...
Told on the interview I didn't know the machine OS but I could learn in a few days...
Well they want someone with experience on that machines I don't know...

It's like asking a Javascript programmer to work with Java...

Whatever...
There are more companies

!rant

My laptop feels complete again. I'm back up to 32gb RAM after being down to 8 for a few months...

Now i can have all the virtual machines open without worrying about maxing out my system... time to go break things while I learn what they do! 😄

I was stuck in a conference call about fax machines, for an hour.

What year is it?

Programming Languages aren't designed to be read by machines, they're meant to be read by humans. Act like it. #realdevscomment

Craziest deadline I've ever had...

Task: Patch 193 machines
Environment:
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners

...timeframe...do it today!

Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.

Got a job as a controls engineer. Told my parents.

Parents: Good Job!
Brother: Bro! How you make so much money?
Me: I went to a tech school and learned how to do technical stuff.
Brother: Oh... fuck that shit!

Everyone was really supportive. Been slowly gravitating from controls to more pure software. But a lot of the software I write is for controls and automation of machines.

We had a priority 1 incident (= the complete basis of our business is at risk, nobody can work anymore). The reason: at least 50 fax machines didn't work anymore ...

You're laughing? Well, in the department next to us, they still use dot matrix printers.

Me: Computers are really complex with all of their abstractions ~i say after looking at attached comic~
Him: Computers are nothing more than rube goldberg machines.

As a firm supporter of information security, it really "irks" me to see people get up and walk away form their desks without locking their machines... Anyone else with me on this?!

Sometimes when people ask what I do for I living I say: talks to machines.
Thats what we do, we know the langauage to tell the machines what to do, how cool isnt that??

My high school teacher once asked me to make a digital clock that ticked slower the further away you were from the computer. That without any sensors or webcam or anything...

He had this notion computer's are magical machines that can do anything. And all that in VB out of all languages.

These anti AI type news articles are ridiculous. We are decades away from anything like skynet. People have seen too much fiction. Everyone used to dream of flying cars, did that happen? No. Do not be fooled, machines can do clever things but they are no where near becoming sentient beings. You try and build something that has the same IQ of a dog and it will still require a shit ton of power and hardware. Plus as far as I'm aware dogs haven't taken over the planet with their level of intelligence.

At the end of the day machines need power to run and we control the source. If anything futuramas more realistic in how AI/robots will integrate with society than these shit piece newspapers.

Today I feel like a monster.

Due to the optimizations/automatizations I have made to the processes in my job, some low level employees are not longer required.... Ever again.

Their last day of work was yesterday, but I'm still uneasy if this is how life is now. If every job will be removed to be made by machines.

Functional Programming. Because Moores Law has moved from making processors faster to multiplying cores, and we may eventually have to code on machines that have 1024 cores or more. Mutable state will cause all kinds of hell in those scenarios. We already have problems with it when we have like 2-3 different threads.

- Did someone tested it on our test machines?
- No there was no time to do this.
*preparing for nuclear fallout from customer in 3..2..1..*

Lost two machines with 10years+ of my work and files to the police after a raid some years ago...

They were used in a "crime" cuz I was chatting with my hemp supplier on one of the machines...no chance to get them back...

Oh man, I miss my data...

When I was 23 or so, I worked nights in a tier-1 control room. Each workstation had a win98 desktop, and two HPUX workstations running CDE. I read all of the lord of the rings in text files on the HPUX machines, and since it was in an xterm window, my supervisor thought I was just tailing logs.

I really miss the days when Windows XP had product keys on stickers stuck to computer cases. If I ever needed an XP product key, I just went to Staples and wrote one down from one of the machines on display.

Client informs dev team that he is upgrading all his machines from IE8 to IE11.
~700 lines of hacky js and css previously commented as "//Workaround for IE" removed.
Pure satisfaction.

Installed Linux on my grandma's computer because she uses it only to browse internet so there was nothing new to learn for her other than how to shut it down which is dead simple and the win10 she had previously was slow as fuck. The thing used to be unusable, now it runs fine, LXDE for the win on slow machines

If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
If your npm/yarn config breaks on windows clap your hands
👏👏
Express generator doesn't work, and sass will up and break because there is no support for windows clap your hands
👏👏🎵🎶

Sigh.......das it...i am bringing the mac or one of my Linux machines tomorrow........

Adylkuzz "saves" users from WannaCry

In fact, because Adylkuzz(malware that mine cryptocurrency) had infected many vulnerable machines long before WannaCry and shut down their SMB port, the malware might have accidentally saved many potential victims from having their data encrypted by WannaCry.

Dealing with other people.
Machines > humans.
Easier to debug.

I was working for a startup that needed to update 300 machines that had just come from the factory. We had to open all 300 boxes and update them one at a time. I made a simple script that would run a folder full of shell scripts then keep track of what it ran so it would not run the same script twice. It made it so we could just plug the machines into the internet, they would query some server, download my program, and run it. It saved me from having to ssh into every machine and run commands. Well the head programmer guy saw what I did and implemented it as the main program that would update the entire machine. I didn't program anything into it to verify updates, the shell scripts did not return any indication of success or failure, and I made it in less than 3 hours. It was supposed to be a temporary program to be used for those 300 machines only, but ended up sticking around for 2 years.

I am running a small - but growing - ceph-cluster at work. Since it is fun and our storage demand is growing each day.

Today, it was time to bring another node online and add another 12TB to the cluster.
Installation of the OS went fine, network settings fine, drives looks fine.

Now, time to add it into the cluster.... BAM
Every Dell machine in the Cluster - Dead.
The two HP-machines is online and running. But the Dell-machines just died.

WAT!?

A programming contest without any text editors installed on the machines.

I mean, Fuck?

Was sitting in my office and someone came into talk to an admin about 32 bit vs 64 bit machines. Overheard this:
"64 bit computers are basically twice as fast as 32 bit"

Bit my lip and laughed silently.

A minute of middle-fingered-silence to those fuckers who buy expensive high end machines and play finch stupid video games like counter strike and all and fucking don't let their roommate sleep!!!!
Fuck you roommate!!
Fuck steam.

People committing config files with connections strings pointing to their own machines.
Oh I'll just pull the latest changes... Why is all my data suddenly different??!? Fucking Gregg just checked in a connection string with "server=GREGGSPC".

It's because I'm still fixing those machines, Microsoft. I'm only one tech! Be patient, I still have 15% left to go. 🤣

Given the pace of technology, I propose we leave math to the machines and play outside

Some time ago a salesman tried to sell me a super revolutionary solution. He introduced it with "today everyone will tell you that in order to save money you must move your servers and IT infrastructure on the CLOUD (big emphasis on the word) but we offer you a different approach: 'the on premise cloud'"
😶"so, you're basically telling me to replace my local machines with other local machines?"
😎"you don't see the whole picture: It's the cloud but INSIDE your company"

Am I dumb and I didn't see the obvious technology leap he was offering me?

I found that the best place to work on code was at one of my best friends' apartment because:

- cat
- comfortable desk with more screens that I could ever wish for
- coffee AND beer machines at one arm extension from the desk
- cat

I don't get out enough to see crashed Windows machines in public...

Between containers, cluster managers and virtual machines we've lost track of where our code even is.

Haha! Sorry but this new cyber attack that's hit the NHS and other company's around the globe, just makes me laugh 😂

These company's just will not spend money on IT, keeping everything update and backed up! 💾

Some of these machines will still running on Windows Vista or XP 😱

I propose to consider the question, "Can machines think?"
-Alan M Turing

Our university labs still use computers with 512mb ram, celeron processor for programming and networking courses. Even worse some of the mouse/keyboards/monitors not working and we occasionally have to do exam on those machines ...

Dream Project?

A script that remotely destroys all fax machines used by my clients so that they are forced to use vFax/fax2email/emailing their fucking PDF, etc.

I'm at a casino and can't stop thinking about how these terrible machines are programmed, and how likely I am to lose any money I bet.

We get so spoiled with stuff at work that it is starting to show.

Way too much paid personal time during the week makes me lazy.

People bringin biscuits and shit make me fat.

Keurig machines all over the damned place.

Birthday celebrations left and right.

And much....much more and I love it.

90%+ of production issues are caused by developers believing production machines are magic and have unlimited resources so can handle any shit code they write

I hate coffee machines that give you a predefined amount.

I hate coffee machines that don't have enough clearance to fill a big size mug.

I hate weird coffee flavors.

I hate foamy coffee.

I just want plain old drip coffee that I can get enough off without being a hassle in the morning.

There, off my chest.

Before devRant was a thing, I always had a feeling most developers use Mac machines. Seems like I was wrong seeing all these setup posts.

Mechanical Engineer friend took Machine Learning as an elective subject in college thinking that it had something to do with the Physical machines.
His reaction during the class was priceless.

So... Human are now learning machine learning. Interesting. Maybe we should instead teach a machine teach us machine learning so we can better human learn from the machines!

at the begin of the year I started working as contractor for a company which development environment was a shit machine in the basement...shared by all developers via ssh, that's right, no local development.
Who the hell needs virtual machines, Vagrant, Docker?
You break something while working? It's broken for everybody.

A.D. 2017

The other developers seemed fine with it.

on the first day of christmas my PM send to me

There's a bug in your B-tree

on the second day of christmas my PM send to me

two threads deadlocked
and a bug in your B-tree

On the third day of christmas my PM send to me

Three servers crashing
two threads deadlockd
and a bug in my B-Tree

on the Fourth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Fith day of Christmas my PM send to me

Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Seventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eighth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Ninth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Tenth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eleventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Twelve day of Christmas my PM send to me

Twelve DBs updating
Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

Install a little tool on all machines that randomly discards every ~200th keyboard input.

Watch them suffer.

coffee machines (yes both) broke, I changed my slack tagline to "Coffee is a basic human right"

The security on my school computers is a joke.
The standard student accounts have no user rights, but the "guest" account has admin rights???
The teachers private data is not secured, it's just hidden from explorer, so if you manually type in the folder location into the explorer bar, you can access the teacher's data. Not to mention everything is running on Windows 7 machines from 10 years ago.

Windows in vending machines isn't a good idea...

A guy I work with put some sort of network scanning software on his phone. It reported 2 machines on our network with the word "China" in them.
So I changed the name of my machine to "Russian-Hacker".

Just got a basic HTML parser written in c++. Uses state machines. Should be pretty efficient considering the lack of backtracking or looking forwards. Still lacks a bunch of features, but works, so I am pretty darn stoked.

Pic attached is output, not input. I also wrote an HTML pretty-printer.

@localhost Here's the setup I use when volunteering at my church. Room for another developer but when it's just me I use synergy on both machines. Not always by the all the windows. The wheels make it easy to go anywhere in the building.

disableSslVerification()
download("https://...", "update.exe")
execute("update.exe")

In a license reporting software, took them 1,5 years to fix!
If we hadn't specifically requested how to run this software with lesser privileged accounts, it would have had access to all our customer's machines.

FINALLY after 48 hours coding. 1000 lines of algorythms ....

Managed to sync video playback on 30 Machines, didnt go to work "sick".

All this for a side project.
Doesnt possibly work they said....

I wrote an important test-case for this complicated/hard-to-understand program and i can proudly say "it doesn't work on my machine". On other machines it works as expected.

Should i really investigate this or focus on other tasks?

Today I'm helping fax machines die! I just made the database column "account fax" nullable.

PSA: Just found Jim Browning on YouTube, he's a spambaiter who gains access to their machines and shuts them down properly, you should check him out

Ever watched the Terminator films and wondered why the machines even have a UI with English words when they seek targets and we see that through their eyes?

It's not that some human uses it and needs UX.

I hate it when films do that.

I'm switching companies. Gonna have to use Windows, grr. No Linux for development machines. :(

How do you guys keep yourself productive in Windows? I honestly can't in its bare state.

Best idea, for now, is just using a VM on top of Windows and ignore the Host OS.

anyone aliased sudo to "please" ?
heard you wouldn't need root after that, computers are kind machines.

In our databases lesson, we are going to use Microsoft SQL Server throughout the year.

This shit's setup fails at random, doesn't even start (empty error box??????) on some machines, and when it, uh, works, kinda, it's a convoluted mess.

Help.

Earth keeps rotating
Seasons repeats
Life goes and come back
Machines in factories doing repetitive job
You sleep, you wakeup, you eat daily

... and y'all think loops are bad?

If you code with PHP, don't call yourself a developer. Call yourself GOD-KIN; ENGINEER FOR THE MACHINES OF CREATION; (S)HE WHO KEEPETH THE WORLD TURNING.

@alybadawy ;))))

When people say ai machines are gonna uprise and kill them! they are talking about matrix multiplications starting to kill people right?

Git is distributed. What's on gitlab it's also on my 3 different machines. So I have 3 backups for the code. Not such a big deal except issues and PRs.

To defeat the machines we must think like a machine:

Battling our contracted IT guys about forcing ESET antivirus onto all of our machines. Just looked at Task Manager to find that it was using 1.6+ GB of RAM on my machine! grrrr !!!!!

Copy my private ssh key to multiple machines so I only have to configure one key in github, gitlab, bitbucket etc.

Never felt the need for a stressball until I started using those damn automatic checkout machines ...
The f***** juice is in the f***** bagging area and I dont need no f***** help. Who the f*** coded this shit ***** ***** *****

Companies! For the love of your peoples sanity give the developers of all ages worthwhile machines. If you send us to clients to develop iOS apps, send macs also 😤

some genius modafaka thought REPLACING python3.6 by 3.7 in all the dev machines is gonna be fine... the whole team is going nuts... fuck you IT... who gave you the permission

My journey with IT learnings, Some of Major learning changes. The following are the years in which I start learning given technology or domain.

1993 Birth
1999 #HTML
2001 #PHP + Foxpro
2001 #Haskell language
2002 BASIC
2002 #8088 Assembly
2003 #Linux
2007 Visual #Foxpro
2009 #C Language
2010 #Python
2011 #JAVA for mobile #development
2015 Virtual Machines
2016 Networking
2018 #Blockchain
2019 #Elixir & Phoenix
2019 #DevOps

I was at Argos a few days back. After browsing I went over to one of the machines to order. Just as I was about to search for the item I required the program crashed... Bloody NullPointerException! I spent the next 20 minutes reading the error message working out what the issue was wishing I could access the codebase and fix it.

Has anyone else experienced this uncontrollable urge?

Sometimes I have to work with physical hardware. There are over 300 machines in our lab, split among two subnets. But for some reason, I can never access my machines by hostnames.

Every other week, there's an IP conflict on this network, requiring me to log into the active directory server and delete old DNS entries. This usually happens because someone decided to deploy 64 VMs on a huge server, all at once, didn't boot them with a delay, let alone with with a warning to IT.

Then when my superior asks how my progress has been and I respond with "I can't even get the machines to ping each other by hostname, there's something wrong with the DNS:, I get the following response: "HOW COME NOBODY ELSE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THIS. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT", from someone who spends 90% of the year abroad, working remotely.

I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets

In the Agrarian Age, wealth originated from nature.

In the Industrial Age, wealth originated from machines.

In the Digital Age, wealth originates from information and knowledge.

Well, here’s my computer setup. It doesn’t look the best, but my HP Z600 Workstation is more than enough for gaming and working with virtual machines.

They see my state machines and say I code like a psychopath. The best compliment I’ve ever got

When a client refuses to use cloud services for Hadoop in lieu of 4 local machines... For TB scale data.

Started my first software internship and I now understand the coffee jokes on here. There is about 5 machines scattered throughout the building ready for all your programming needs 😂😂😂

Fax machines connected to VoIP connections...
Had a nightmare recently, where my fathers machine that he really needs refused to work after he moved appartements.
Uncounted calls with different tech departments, a furious fathers and two weeks later they found out, that they forgot to activate the protocol.

A semiconductor company wants a custom desktop program to graph the data from their machines.

Company: We want to get a trial version before buying it.

Me: *Just staring at them*

In my mind: Soooooo you want me to invest my time in creating a custom made software specific to your machines and you might end up being happy with a trial version and leaving me empty handed?

Might as well create the program and put so many pop ups to annoy them no? 😂😂😂

Pull the plug of the machines running the AI.

How many years do you think it will be until the first hackathon between humans and machines kick off?

On my home machines, I am a dual booter (job is .net) but Ubuntu is running 90% of time. Last night I tried installing a printer but failed miserably. Due to time constraint I had to boot that fucking resource molester of win10 which sux even more on low end box like mine.
Now am red eyed & angry. Fucking printer .

My work gave me three laptops because not one of them can access all the resources I need. So I have to balance my workflow around these three machines.

Virtual box.

I recently had to code sign an app for ios without having a mac at the office or an iphone to test it on. Thank god for virtual machines though

I have a rule with my machines. No stickers until it's at least a year old. Here are the first 2 on it.

!dev

I'm always torn at the gym:
As a former rower, it gives me almost physical pain to see people on the rowing machines, flailing around and almost falling off sideways (rowing is an elegant, albeit masochistic sport).

However, as a swiss person, strangers are my natural predator and might eat me alive if I dare speak to them...

There was this project where a bunch a scripts had been running for three weeks analysing a bunch of fileshares. The project was in overrun and the analysis wasn't anywhere near done.

I was given complete isolation and a team of people who were instructed to do anything I needed. I had them replicate the data to as many machines as possible and I started scripting the analysis with some sample data. After half a day of collecting laptops, desktops and severs I transfered my scripts to those machines and ran the analysis in 5 hours.

I felt like I saved the project.

No matter how frustrated I get, I always try to remember: Machines don't make mistakes

Could someone finally make remote controlled bed that transform to armchair and can ride around the house so I don’t have to get up to grab a beer or open the door....

I want to ride to fridge and get back with some beef jerky without using my muscles.

Damn technology is always aiming for stuff that nobody needs.

In some malls here in russia we casually have home depot stuff vending machines, right next to usual snack ones.

Im getting a feeling that the more we try to replace humans with computers and machines, the worse the remaining humans get to interact with. And I dont mean that in a way that computers are better to interact with but in the sense that people tend to forget how to properly work with each other.

Since I've learned coding, I'm always analizing how things work on the low level. Machines, movies, peoples' choices, planta, reality... Decompiling everything to source code

New coffee machines at work. Real beans! What's the equivalent of the Ballmer Peak for Caffeine? Posting this at 4.04am, lying awake in bed and not coding, I'm probably past it.. sleep not found

I'm a bit confused as to why people are re-imaging their machines from one OS to another?

Use Vagrant (or Docker) and just set up an OS in a Virtual Machine? Then if you break it you just destroy it and provision it again. You don't destroy your whole machine.

I thought the “works on my machine” from sysadmins is mostly a joke...

But no. I’m attending the Polish high school and I have a lessons via the Internet. I wasn’t able to hear the voice of the teacher on Linux 4.18 and Chromium browser, so I sent the mail to support to report it. Of course it “works on their machines”...

I was an intern at a large company in Madrid throguh a program named ERASMUS+. Apparently we (my friend and I) was the first interns they ever had. So, we didn't get to work alot. Few html and css tasks.

Never got to touch the backend nor a real project. Good that they had lots of coffee machines.

And a great cafeteria with lots of pudding.

People on election day: "OMG a subset of the machines are not working!!"

People who work in IT every single day: "lol no shit."

Have programmed process control machines to handle nuclear waste, motion control, welding, tank inspection, joysticks, and more...

Never learned to program my VCR...

Discovering that all the coffee machines are out of service....|| there's no coffee machines on your new project office..

What is it with this bullshit culture about installing something syncs it with all machines
First chrome/chromium, You can't install a plugin or extension on 1 machine unless you're logged out. what is this bullshit

Next windows 10, I fucking installed a Japanese language pack on 1 machine, by the end of the day all my fucking machines and even my windows tablet got it installed and applied in a fucking bugged way that made it that my UI is English and my fucking metro apps are Japanese.

This is starting to get annoying as fuck

If you could choose one, what should happen in 2020 :
1. Apple let developer build iOS apps on non Apple machines
2. NPM/Maven/... run 10x faster
3. Javascript dies and gets replaced by a better language
4. Governments stop trying to ruin encryption
5. Facebook splits
6. Quantum computers are being sold for consumer use
7. We have our first high - level generic AI working

I am to sleep, boss calls please do this...

Boss thinks we are machines hahaha, 72hrs of no sleep and counting...

Ok, so the new programming language Q# is out. VERY exciting for me! I love the idea of quantum computing! Then I realize that developers will need to know the basics of quantum physics to use it effectively. Yay or nay? Welp, those extremely big, expensive machines won't program themselves (yet).

When I started ssh'ing into remote linux machines I would wonder why a lot of the programs I started wouldn't keep running after I logged out... :facepalm:

My dad bought the insanely freaky Commodore Plus/4 which should be a more "business"-oriented version of the 64. Of course the two machines were incomatible so none of the 64 games worked on the Plus/4, so there were not much options left but to start hacking into it, first in Basic and then machinecode.

Received a new HP Probook 640 G2 laptop for work, everyone else has theirs as 64bit machines. Yet the idiots who handle hardware and software installs installed windows for a 32bit machine. Well at least I get waste half a day and do nothing while they redo everything and then I have to still get shit done later.

Sometimes, when I’m stressed, I do this thing that I really enjoy looking at: installing updates.
Homebrew, pip, npm (global & local), apt, even manual updates in apps. This in several machines.

I like having the logs flow smoothly. It’s soothing.

“Millennials are picking up their phones on average of 237 times per day. The machines have not adapted to the millennials. The millennials have adapted to the machines.”
Started listening to this book. So far so good.

What you doin' with a time machine? I mostly just use my time machines to tell time.

I miss working on Linux. It’s so bare and I get to tinker with a lot stuffs. I like working with Mac though, less problems and more productivity; but it’s just tiny bit bloated.

I think the perfect balance is having two machines; one Mac and the other Dell XP 15 loaded with Ubuntu.

Fruit Machines... Kind of a dev rant, I mean, they have software running them now, but my gripe is the hardware (I think).

Any of you that frequent pubs and use fruit machines notice that many of the LEDs are "broken" / "non functioning" lately? I mean it's rare I see one that doesn't have lights that are out, rendering the entire machine useless, yet it still takes your money.

Intentionally made to break? Or are LEDs really that difficult to get right? Or maybe it's software determining which ones to appear "broken" and there is a way reset it?

It's a rant none the less...

Well fuck. This laptop was nice, then the hinges decided to remove themselves from the mount points. Also a metal side rail mananaged break as well...

Anyone have good suggestions for laptops? Prefer machines with a distro of Linux on it, but not afraid to install

I need to estimate how much ram and CPUs my team will need next year for our apps... That have yet to be built.

We load a lot of data feeds with batch processes running on a few large machines, some can use like 30 GB RAM at times...) which should be a lot less if we get the data real time I hope...

But wondering how to estimate well... I sorta did a worse case analysis where I just multiply and sum # CPUs/memory* nodes*approx apps...

Comes out to be like 600 CPUs and 800 RAM... So wondering if that's ok...

RAM is ok but # of CPUs is way higher bc now all the apps basically run on their own machines...

Set all my editors to autosave when they loose focus ~

Makes me go nuts when working on other machines :/

Is it so hard for other people to write code as if there will be other eyes watching? When will people learn that a programming language is what bridges the communication gap between humans and machines? If I can't follow your code, you wrote it poorly. Period. At least document what the hell is going on. Be considerate of the next person. Unbelievable.

Computers have threads. Computers are sewing machines

Join a military organization set on keeping peace between humans and machines, and then, when people disband our team because they live in peace, become a vigilante.

++ if you know who's this

As for today, I mostly play GTA: Online or Team Fortress 2.

By the way, any people here want to play Team Fortress 2 on Mann vs. Machines mode?

Office internet has been slow as shit the last few days because at least three employees are all individually streaming the Olympics to their machines... and one overlayed on top of the server status monitor.

Connect my brain and communicate to any computer telepathically.
Not humans, I don't want human brains.
But computers. Sweet little bad-ass machines.

!rant

Every type of doctor is a different kind of debugger for the Human Operating System 🤔

They debug system services like "ear", "throat" and "poop".
Sometimes they even repair or take apart systems for different reasons!

Recently I see people installing Linux distros to their Macbooks. Is MacOS that bad? I mean I use Ubuntu in my daily life but let's accept that most of the Linux distros (for desktop of course) has hickups. I haven't used MacOS but there is a big company maintaining and optimizing it for just few machines. What is the point installing a Linux distro to a Mac?

Today I basically threatened my whole team that if they weren't going to help me take a backup (somehow don't have access issues to the machines) I would just deploy the thing and if it crashes then just fck it...

I already busted my ass for a whole week on top of other issues and you can't even help me run a few simple commands...

Monday: service deploy.
Friday evening: compilation and jar execution doesn't work anymore, on local machines or on server.
Nice.

The algo strikes again!

Programmers: machines that turn coffee into code.

Am I the only one who thinks gaming hardwares are also nice developer machines with extra strips of LED?

Netcup. Great hosting, the machines are usually fast set up and cheap. The boss writes in the forum to help the customers.

`alias pull="find . -name .git -print -execdir git pull \;"`

A while ago, I found someone asking about personal favorite aliases. I cannot find it now.

I am not a huge terminal user so I don't really care about keeping aliases until now.

It became annoying to `git pull` before doing anything when you are using two different machines regularly and there are always about a dozen active repos.

Ahhhh I'm in the mood to make a few complains against the company I work for.
Reason: management is done by children, expensive machines are breaking down due to lack of maintainance, having to deal with problems everyday due to machine problems.
Although that's not illegal, just stupid, there's also bad company policies (like if you get hurt can't call an ambulance, must go to the local private clinic, even if you lose a hand ), problems like pools of oil everywhere, electric boxes open (and we do have to put our hands inside to reset the machines)... Stuff like that.
But fuck it, I'm just a temp gaining minimum wage.

Fuck printers, stupidass machines never working when you actually need them and are in a hurry. Fucking cunts made them ink cartridges fucking more expensive than gold too. Costs of production of as well printer as cartridges are nearby fucking zero, get a fucking grip on yourselfs cunts. Jesus fucking Christ.

When I was in School we had one Computer room where the PC's were the school used to 'teach stuff about pcs' (mostly office and some Maya). These where connected to another via the network and reset to a predefined state Everytime they were rebooted.

Since we were somehow able to get into the room during breaks between the lessons we obviously abused the room and played Minecraft in there but since the machines reset each reboot there was not much progress. Also there was no Java installed, so we needed to install that as well (that can take ages on old, school machines.).

Since the machines were connected via the school network I found out how to reboot or shutdown the other machines remotely. That was really funny for me and a friend who quickly found that Minecraft is too boring. We were just constantly rebooting the PC's the others were just launching Minecraft on and thus resetting the whole Java and Minecraft installation.

Got a lot of angry curses but nothing serious happened afterwards. Was the first I felt really badass on the computer tho.

That moment you start your experiment environment and suddenly have 5 windowses on two linux machines.

This somehow feels so wrong. Like having malware on my maschines 😲

I think I gonna hang myself.

I'm sure I speak for a lot of us when I say: LET ME HAVE A LIFE!!!

Management treating us like candy machines, wanting more and more features, learn this, learn that, learn complex material. HEY I'D LIKE TO ENJOY MY TIME AFTER WORK YA KNOW.

etc.

Walking around in naturvetenskapliga museumet (a museum in Stockholm, Sweden) and i see this (image below).

This information displays which seems to run Windows restarted. I would say that it happend because of the long uptime these machines have and Windows sucks with having long uptime.

Solution: Run it on a Linux based operating system instead.

A platform where people can share their creations, collection of information sources about 3D printing and other CNC machines. (Alternative to Thingiverse)

Manager during daily stand- up meet: We are all going to upgrade to 20GB RAM machines by the end of this week.

Me: Noice, can open two Chrome windows now.

What keeps me from loosing my sanity every day? A mentor who taught me the value of "nuke and pave" automation. Just nuked the entire Azure resource group, including virtual networks, subnets, virtual machines, vpn connections, the whole nine yards. Redeploy takes about 5 minutes.

When you realise they are using computers and AI to estimate your level of humanness before deciding whether or not you are human enough [to pass the capcha].

Our humanity is up to machines already

When clients come with virus-infested Windows machines asking to take data from theirs and wondering where it all went!

The other day I was talking with a guy that's been in the company forever and he was explaining to me that when he joined they would write code with a pencil and deliver it to a pool of secretaries who would type it into these special machines to generate the actual code fed into the IBM machine.

We are so fucking spoiled 🤦‍♂️

Today I've seen 2 bsod on 2 different ticket machines at my local train station.

I'm late as hell, probably not arriving in time for the exam, but at least I laughed.

!rant
Maybe it's because I'm drunk but the extra 8gb Ram I just added to my laptop really makes it faster. Everything seems a little bit faster and I can now power up 2-3 virtual machines and IDE etc. without problems 😍

Couldn't find any satisfactory explanation online, so here is a question. Discussions idea etc are welcome.

How is the colour fill tool implemented in paint or other software?

I remember it running superfast on old 98 machines. Got me curious to think how they achieved it.

(correct me if I am wrong, recursion won't be a good idea for large images.)

I want a screenplay for the matrix, but it’s just about how Neo writes a shitty web app that not even the machines can debug.

It’s really easy to gain administrative access on unencrypted windows machines with a single usb. You know what’s also easy? Extracting admin passwords with mimikatz.

Edit: this was back in 5th grade

To all the people who use laptops for coding, what are the most important things to look out for when getting one. As a desktop user, all of these machines seem underpowered and overpriced.
Im mostly aware what I need to get regarding hardware inside, but when it comes to displays/keyboards/mousepads(does anyone even use that?)/size/io, I am preety clueless.

Deciding to make the website I'm working on a one pager with calls to API.

Why did I decide to make such an extensive API. 😅

API functionality includes:
user endpoint:
- log in/out
admin endpoint:
- edit user
- create/delete user
- create (sub)menu categories
- create items (install/test/image)
image endpoint:
- create image (of machines in array)
- restore image (of machines in array)
install endpoint
- install machines (Windows/Linux)
test endpoint
- auto-test (array of machines)
- test (array of machines, test)

Then the machine endpoint:
- if action in table then do action

1. I recorded something with my dad until 12 AM isarel daylight time

2. that you so much for congratulating me for the Cyber classes. I love all of you.

3. Thank you also for 400 upvotes. Going strong.

Have an Image of the recording machines in the studio.

you know I've watched a lot of people waste their lives.

all the warm and fuzzy sentimentality I grew up to gone out the window, the subject of ownership and personal possession disrespected to the point that robot people just fucked their only chances of being anything but machines.

its fun.

just like when you people duplicate my past posts on here.

What programming language do you guys think the price check machines on the poles are coded in at retail stores like Walmart?

I am using Manjaro as the main OS on my computer. But I have an original Windows 10 license, as well as an Office 2013.

I want/need to have them installed on PC, as I need to use it sometimes.

But if I install my Windows 10, it will certainly destroy my grub and I know I will have a hard time to make it work again.

Would it be a good idea to install them on a virtual PC? I know it would not be good with games, but the only game I have is GTA IV (that I am not even sure if it still works on Windows 10).

Thanks!

23 machines down, 50 days lab access left. Hope I'll pass the exam on November and become an OSCP.

People need to fucking shut up about this MacBook Pro port shit. They're moving all their ports to one unified port that has a standard interconnect that people have been wanting on Android phones and other machines since USB C was announced. Shut the fuck up and notice that it's changing for the better.

I am sick of this fucking faulty machines at work. 4 down in 5 months. Now, I am sitting like an idiot without a machine at my desk.

The time my computer said Hello world!