Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: WTF

Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: WTF

Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi

Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???

Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Windows: Updating....
Me: *jumps out window*

So I have complained to our landlord about a noisy neighbor who keeps blasting shitty music at midnight, and technically its against the law as well, but this bitch ass joke of a human being ignored even the most highest of authority.

Seeing I can't solve it with democracy, I finally gave up with any reasonable type of way to restrain this motherfucker (even calling police didn't help) and went full asshole with him

I know his WiFi uses WPS PIN, but I'm not gonna throttle his network, I want to piss him off so much he'll regret living beside me, or at our place entirely.

So I performed a Evil Twin attack, I had my Raspberry Pi act as a both cloned AP and a deauther. Finally the plan came to effect.

I ran the deauther in his AP, effectively disconnecting his devices, and had the devices connect to the cloned network. The primary aim of my attack is to annoy this bitch ass to the point of no return. The project I used serves a website on the cloned AP like a update for his router. I intentionally made it run overnight, blasted Lo-fi hip hop and went to sleep. Before I dozed off, I can hear their scream of rage because they can't blast their music at full volume (waddaya guess, they use Spotify).

I finally woke up the next day, and I find neighbor complaining about me, and they were trying to tell the landlord I was hacking them. It's technically true but its not as bad as domestic disturbance for a full fucking week.

Landlord asked me if I did it, I declined, she believed me (I know she does because she knows I'm a pure soul unlike this mofo). Then he left frustrated, threatened to sue me for hacking.

I just smickered, he can't really prove anything unless I was being sloppy.

Nowadays I get good sleep and finally we live in a quite peaceful place now. Now you may ask, what happened to that guy? After he threatened me, the next night he found his things outside his own room, he was kicked out by the landlord.

Moral of the story: we ain't hating on your music taste but don't showcase it like its the most important thing in the world when everyone is sleeping. Case and point, don't be an asshole

If you think you know the most idiot person in the world, you haven't met my brother.

His brain absolutely can't comprehend anything!

He forgot his Roblox password and told me to do something. I said I can't do anything about it. Then he yelled at the top of his lungs saying, "you don't know technology! You're too stupid and selfish. Fix it!"

I said I can't do anything about it. He throws the mouse at me and says, "I never get to have fun. You ruin my life!"

He's not a little kid btw. He's fucking 14.

Today my mom forgot to pay the wifi password, and she thinks its better not to pay it today so it can stop my brother from playing games. (He plays it from morning to night. No homework, no cleaning, no nothing. Just games all day.)

So he told me to fix it. I said I cant. There's nothing I can do. Then he punches my arm really hard. (He's taller and stronger than me so it really hurt) then he threw a shoe and said, "you're useless and stupid! You have your laptop so you can have fun but I never get to have fun. You ruin my life, and I hate you. I hate my life."

Then he ran to mess up my room by tossing things from the self, removing clothes from my closet, and messed up my bed. He pushed my sister, pulled my hair, and ran to his room, slamming the door.

Please. Please someone give him a brain! He desperately needs one. I said I can't fix it, and that my mom has to pay the WiFi bill, but he thinks I'm being mean.

He has the mind of a 5 year old. Dropping to the ground crying.

Well guess what, I was coding with a friend of mine in a café .The waiter took our orders ..glanced at our screens( We were using Linux terminals ..fucking npm I swear) and then a few minutes later the manager comes up and says - ”Sorry ,but I am gonna have to ask you guys to leave " ..We were like wtf man ? Well apparently the staff felt that we were hacking using their WiFi .. God fucking dammit..typing on terminals is not Hacking .

Today is the end.
No WiFi.
No Computer.
No Netflix.
No Spotify.
For 3 fucking months.
Fucking summer.

!rant
So it turns out that my dad accidentally took my spare laptop on a work trip. He's about as non-tech as you can get, and that laptop runs...Arch Linux. Yeah.

(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: what's your desktop password?
M: (confused) {Password}
D: okay.
(cuts the call)

M: *shrug*

(call from dad)
M: hi dad
D: so where is PowerPoint?! where's the Windows button?! I've been at this for half an hour now and I have to edit a presentation for tomorrow!!
M: (realizes what's happened) oh...uh...dad...that's.. Linux...
D: don't you people do anything the way it's supposed to be done?
M: uh...
D: ugh! So you can't edit PPTs on this?
M: (processing...LibreOffice isn't installed on the laptop, and he will have to use the command line to connect to the internet to use Office Online or Google Slides since the Deepin WiFi module keeps fucking up for some reason)
D: well?
M: (internal sigh) No, you can't edit PPTs on that.
D: wow.
(cuts the call)

He either thinks we're all useless or that we have godlike computer skills to be able to edit PPTs on Linux. Oh well.

(He managed to use the hotel's "workstation" to get it done, so all is well. I should tell him to change his password though, hotel computers have rubbish security.)

Storytime!

This customer comes in and practically throws a computer on the counter.

Customer: This computer isn't working. I've ran the diagnostics and it says it's software. *places a dvd case with a 32 bit Windows 7 disk in it on the counter* It had Windows 10 on it, but I want Windows 7 on it.

Me: Well, you may have issues with the drivers if you put Windows 7 on it--

Customer: I don't care, I just want Windows 7.

Me: You SHOULD care. That means no wifi, no display, no mouse... Windows 7 doesn't like Windows 10 hardware.

Customer: Then... check to see Windows 7 compatibility!

Me: Alright.... *makes notes to check for Windows 7 compatibility*

Me: So has this Windows 7 been used before?

Customer: Yes, it has.

Me: On how many computers?

Customer: I've installed it on two computers and it works just fine.

Me: That's weird because Windows license keys are for one computer only. Are both of them connected to the internet?

Customer: Yes.

Me: Well, okay then... *finishes up ticket*

Customer: I work in this field and I just don't understand why they don't come with the disks anymore. How much is a Windows 10 disk?

Me: *gives price*

Customer: And do you have any?

Me: Let me check *I go to where they are, find some and come back out*

Me: Unfortunately we're out at the moment and would have to special order some back in.

Customer: OK. So then how much to fix this computer?

Me: *price of installing Windows and backing up data*

Customer: That's halfway to the price of a new one of these!

Me: Well yes, an HP at Walmart... But you do have that option if you want to take it.

Customer: Well, why does it cost that much?

Me: Well, it's $labor1 to install Windows, $labor2 to do some basic setup and drivers, and $labor3 to backup and restore data.

Customer: Oh, well I don't want data.

Me: Okay, well then it would be $total - $labor3

Customer: ...Okay, fine

Me: *updates the ticket*

When she finally left I put it on the bench and the first message said "SMART ERROR." I then did 4 different tests that said "lol, the hard drive is failing."

If you "worked in this field," you would know that a SMART error is hard drive related.

If you worked in this field, you would know that Windows is only a 1PC license, so why are you lying about installing it with no issues on other computers?

If you worked in this field, you would know you would want a 64bit Windows on your computer.

If you worked in this field, you would know how to find a Windows 10 installation media online.

If you worked in this field, you would know that HPs are not good computers to get.

IF YOU FUCKING WORKED IN THIS FIELD YOU WOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING CUNT.

To replace humans with robots, because human beings are complete shit at everything they do.

I am a chemist. My alignment is not lawful good. I've produced lots of drugs. Mostly just drugs against illnesses. Mostly.

But whatever my alignment or contribution to the world as a chemist... Human chemists are just fucking terrible at their job. Not for a lack of trying, biological beings just suck at it.

Suiting up for a biosafety level lab costs time. Meatbags fuck up very often, especially when tired. Humans whine when they get acid in their face, or when they have to pour and inhale carcinogenic substances. They also work imprecisely and inaccurately, even after thousands of hours of training and practice.

Weaklings! Robots are superior!

So I replaced my coworkers with expensive flow chemistry setups with probes and solenoid fluid valves. I replaced others with CUDA simulations.

First at a pharma production & research lab, then at a genetics lab, then at an Industrial R&D lab.

Many were even replaced by Raspberry Pi's with two servos and a PH meter attached, and I broke open second hand Fischer Sci spectrophotometers to attach arduinos with WiFi boards.

The issue was that after every little overzealous weekend project, I made myself less necessary as well.

So I jumped into the infinitely deep shitpool called webdev.

App & web development is kind of comfortable, there's always one more thing to do, but there's no pressure where failure leads to fatalities (I think? Wait... do I still care?).

Super chill, if it weren't for the delusion that making people do "frontend" and "fullstack" labor isn't a gross violation of the Geneva Convention.

Quickly recognizing that I actually don't want to be tortured and suffer from nerve damage caused by VueX or have my organs slowly liquefied by the radiation from some insane transpiling centrifuge, I did what any sane person would do.

Get as far away from the potential frontend blast radius as possible, hide in a concrete bunker.

So I became a data engineer / database admin.

That's where I'm quarantining now, safely hiding from humanity behind a desk, employed to write a MySQL migration or two, setting up Redis sorted sets, adding a field to an Elastic index. That takes care of generating cognac and LSD money.

But honestly.... I actually spend most of my time these days contributing to open source repositories, especially writing & maintaining Rust libraries.

We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.

So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.

The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.

All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.

And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.

And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!

We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.

While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.

Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.

I don't even know where to start with this rant!
I haven't paid rent for 3 months now.I haven't paid the WiFi and electricity bills too.Hell, I haven't even paid the fucking college fees and it's almost mid-semester.I have like 100+ other bills I haven't paid.I have exhausted loans from all of my banks and I am at the fucking end now!!!!

What's worse is that some motherfuckers owe me close to 4 million in local currency!!!The project was finished in April and until now they can't fucking pay me because their "CEO has not signed the cheque". Motherfuckers, we were all in the same room when we agreed on the pricing.That half-assed CEO was also there!
What the fuck is wrong with people?WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?????
How many fucking times do I have to come to your stinking shit office to follow up on payments.How many fucking times????How many fucking times do I have to see new V8s parked outside your office yet you claim you still collecting the funds.How many fucking times?!!?
Please fucking pay me!.I fucking need that money stupid.I don't survive on eating flies! FTW!

I feel so sorry for all the people in the world who use their phone more than their PC/laptop.

All the pitiful souls who think they're gamers because they installed lootchest simulator on their little digital skinner box. All the sad beings who just view the internet as a collection of ad-infested apps.

Actually, I don't feel sorry, because these people make the world a worse place.

Suddenly we needed websites which could render on tiny screens and need bloated cross-platform app development frameworks. Many game studios became parasites exploiting addictive behavior in humans, instead of creating works of art.

Humans spent 10,000 years to perfect their caves with expensive kitchens, and all people want is for their WiFi to reach the grill at the end of the garden. Humans created central heating, comfortable couches, wall-mounted TVs and luxurious desks -- and all people can think of is whether their phone plan covers holiday roaming at their shitty resorts.

The rare times I do actually go into this apocalyptic wasteland people call "The Outside", all I see is subway cars full of hunched addicted drudges, bus stops with clusters of enslaved automatons.

Fuck all of them.

Fuck all of you imbeciles, who ventured out of the cave and now DARE to call me anti-social, just for preferring the warmth of my comfortable protective den.

It's fucking cozy here, within the walls of my shelter, I got booze and a fridge full of food and a bunch of LSD, I can masturbate under the shower, have sex on the couch, have all kinds of GIANT displays for entertainment, with full-sized qwerty-keyboards, high-DPI mouses, even some console controllers and big TVs if I feel lazy.

You can stick your responsive websites and social-network-integrated Android apps up your rectum, just sit your fucking fat ass down in front of a workstation and desperately refresh the stream of fake attention-seeking messages there, if you absolutely must.

Seriously, why does this guy from our marketing department call me on my private phone number. Why did HR PROVIDE him with my private phone number?

And WHY THE FUCK is he asking me, a DB admin: "Our website doesn't load properly on Safari on my iPhone 7, could you take a look at it"?

No, of course I won't fucking come to the office to take a look at your miserable shitty device with its cracked glass screen.

Fuck you and your outdoorsy habits.

Stay the fuck in your cave, you degenerate attention whore, otherwise please go choke on your airpods.

Spent nearly a day to get this tiny laptop-tablet to work.

I got myself a second hand Asus T100TAF but Linux compatibility was far to be found. Online resources said I'd be very lucky if I'd even get the touchscreen or the WiFi to work.

I've been installing distro's all day and I finally have a working version!

Lubuntu with Budgie as desktop environment. Touchscreen works out of the box and some random person on the Linux mint forum linked to a github thing. Lost all hope already but this made the fucking WiFi work.

Can dock and undock it and it works great.

Thanks to all open source devs for this!

Dear Android:

I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.

But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.

But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!

If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?

I really, honestly, am getting annoyed when someone tells me that "Linux is user-friendly". Some people seem to think that because they themselves can install Linux, that anyone can, and because I still use Windows I'm some sort of a noob.

So let me tell you why I don't use Linux: because it never actually "just works". I have tried, at the very least two dozen times, to install one distro or another on a machine that I owned. Never, not even once, not even *close*, has it installed and worked without failing on some part of my hardware.

My last experience was with Ubuntu 17.04, supposed to have great hardware and software support. I have a popular Dell Alienware machine with extremely common hardware (please don't hate me, I had a great deal through work with an interest-free loan to buy it!), and I thought for just one moment that maybe Ubuntu had reached the point where it just, y'know, fucking worked when installing it... but no. Not a chance.

It started with my monitors. My secondary monitor that worked fine on Windows and never once failed to display anything, simply didn't work. It wasn't detected, it didn't turn on, it just failed. After hours of toiling with bash commands and fucking around in x conf files, I finally figured out that for some reason, it didn't like my two IDENTICAL monitors on IDENTICAL cables on the SAME video card. I fixed it by using a DVI to HDMI adapter....

Then was my sound card. It appeared to be detected and working, but it was playing at like 0.01% volume. The system volume was fine, the speaker volume was fine, everything appeared great except I literally had no fucking sound. I tried everything from using the front output to checking if it was going to my display through HDMI to "switching the audio sublayer from alsa to whatever the hell other thing exists" but nothing worked. I gave up.

My mouse? Hell. It's a Corsair Gaming mouse, nothing fancy, it only has a couple extra buttons - none of those worked, not even the goddamn scrollwheel. I didn't expect the *lights* to work, but the "back" and "Forward" buttons? COME ON. After an hour, I just gave up.

My media keyboard that's like 15 years old and is of IBM brand obviously wasn't recognized. Didn't even bother with that one.

Of my 3 different network adapters (2 connectors, one wifi), only one physical card was detected. Bluetooth didn't work. At this point I was so tired of finding things that didn't work that I tried something else.

My work VPN... holy shit have you ever tried configuring a corporate VPN on Linux? Goddamn. On windows it's "next next next finish then enter your username/password" and on Linux it's "get this specific format TLS certificate from your IT with a private key and put it in this network conf and then run this whatever command to...." yeah no.

And don't get me started on even attempting to play GAMES on this fucking OS. I mean, even installing the graphic drivers? Never in my life have I had to *exit the GUI layer of an OS* to install a graphic driver. That would be like dropping down to MS-DOS on Windows to install Nvidia drivers. Holy shit what the fuck guys. And don't get me started on WINE, I ain't touching this "not an emulator emulator" with a 10-foot pole.

And then, you start reading online for all these problems and it's a mix of "here are 9038245 steps to fix your problem in the terminal" and "fucking noob go back to Windows if you can't deal with it" posts.

It's SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING, I spent a whole day trying to get a BASIC system up and running, where it takes a half-hour AT MOST with any version of Windows. I'm just... done.

I will give Ubuntu one redeeming quality, however. On the Live USB, you can use the `dd` command to mirror a whole drive in a few minutes. And when you're doing fucking around with this piece of shit OS that refuses to do simple things like "playing audio", `dd` will restore Windows right back to where it was as if Ubuntu never existed in the first place.

Thanks, `dd`. I wish you were on Windows. Your OS is the LEAST user friendly thing I've ever had to deal with.

Root rents an office.

Among very few other things, the company I'm renting an office from (Regus) provides wifi, but it isn't even bloody secured. There's a captive portal with a lovely (not.) privacy policy saying they're free to monitor your traffic, but they didn't even bother using WEP, which ofc means everyone else out to the fucking parking lot four floors down can monitor my traffic, too.

Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.

So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.

Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.

Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄

Desk? What desk?
Fucking hell.

long rant = this;

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

The task: get Windows 7 on my mom's new Lenovo running win 10.

First idea: dual boot. Go into disk utility and shrink win 10 partition leaving empty partition. Easy!

Unfortunately it all went downhill from there.

Restart, can't get into boot menu. Google says you have to do that from Windows. Ok.

Laptop says BOOTING FROM CD IS NOT SUPPORTED. WTF??

Go into BIOS, enable legacy boot, prioritize legacy. Restart. Ok, it boots from disk.

Go to install 7 on the empty partition and it can't because its an unsupported partition format or some shit. Whatever, wipe everything. Ok, installing windows.

Windows installed, need drivers. Go download them with another computer and go to copy them over with USB disk. Windows doesn't detect it. THIS POS DOESN'T HAVE STANDARD USB DRIVERS?!?!?

Of course, the laptop didn't come with any driver software. I end up burning a fucking CD like its fucking 2001 so that I can get the goddamn wifi driver on it.

Ok, I have wifi. Go to Lenovo site, find driver page. Select all the drivers I want for the model/OS and click download. Lenovo site says "hey, use this driver update software." I'm like, hey asshole, why don't you just give me the drivers i asked for. But fine.

Driver update software downloads, I install it, nothing happens. I run it, it says it's already running. Still nothing. What the goddamn flipping fuck?

I go download the drivers individually. I try to install USB driver. It says my system is not supported. .............Try to install chipset driver, not supported. ............ I can install maybe half of the drivers and I still can't even use a fucking USB mouse. Gonna have to wait for windows update to find it sometime two days from now.

I hope everyone in charge of Lenovos fucking ass backwards pointless piece of useless fucking shit drivers gets raped to death with a serrated knife.

Linux is great they said
Linux works well they said
Linux is totally awesome they said

- - -
4 live cds
(Ubuntu, mint, Debian, Antergos)
3 wouldn’t boot beyond splash screens or even into setup.

no fucking keyboard
No fucking wifi
No fucking trackpad

Now I’m sitting here with Antergos, with a USB keyboard, USB mouse and an ethernet cable plugged into my laptop 🤷‍♂️

Good news... I think I might be getting through the hard parts

*rants to some people I met in a cafe about how irresponsible making a ground rail live is*

Girl: "well people do make mistakes, right"
Me: "but they shouldn't! It's civil engineering ffs!"
Girl: "that doesn't change the fact that it's impossible for people to not make mistakes"

*realizes that I'll have to explain redundancy*

Me: "okay, so I have 2 mail servers. If I make an inevitable mistake, during an update or so, it only affects one of the servers but not the other one. So service is uninterrupted."
Girl: "that's far too complicated and technical.. explain it more easily."
Me: "alright, what job do you have"
Girl: *tells her job*
Me: "alright, so imagine that you get sick or go on a holiday or something. When there's someone else in the company that's got the same skills, they can ensure that the job gets done regardless. That's redundancy."
Girl: "aah, still too complicated!!"

What the fuck?! I removed all of the technical stuff and it's still too complicated?! How willfully ignorant or plain stupid can you be?!! Well fuck her then, but not in the way of taking her home. Now guess why I don't really like the muggles in my town. Fucking idiots!!!

"But muh BuzzFeed, conspiracy theories, deferring updates because they hog my WiFi, and casual games on my iPhone"

FUCK!!! FUCK PEOPLE!!!

I'm a f****** idiot. Wifi adapter stopped working, I rebooted. I reinstall my distro. I look up for a replacement card. I troubleshoot the issue in software.

Finally someone says something one of the fourms.

I hit Fn + F2

It fucking works!!! The hardware was disabled by accident when I tried to open tty2.

FUCK!!!

Worst WTF dev experience? The login process from hell to a well-fortified dev environment at a client's site.
I assume a noob admin found a list of security tips and just went like "all of the above!".

You boot a Linux VM, necessary to connect to their VPN. Why necessary? Because 1) their VPN is so restrictive it has no internet access 2) the VPN connection prevents *your local PC* from accessing the internet as well. Coworkers have been seen bringing in their private laptops just to be able to google stuff.
So you connect via Cisco AnyConnect proprietary bullshit. A standard VPN client won't work. Their system sends you a one-time key via SMS as your password.

Once on their VPN, you start a remote desktop session to their internal "hopping server", which is a Windows server. After logging in with your Windows user credentials, you start a Windows Remote Desktop session *on that hopping server* to *another* Windows server, where you login with yet another set of Windows user credentials. For all these logins you have 30 seconds, otherwise back to step 1.
On that server you open a browser to access their JIRA, GitLab, etc or SSH into the actual dev machines - which AGAIN need yet another set of credentials.

So in total: VM -> VPN + RDP inside VM -> RDP #2 -> Browser/SSH/... -> Final system to work on
Input lag of one to multiple seconds. It was fucking unusable.

Now, the servers were very disconnect-happy to prevent anything "fishy" going on. Sitting at my desk at my company, connected to my company's wifi, was apparently fishy enough to kick me out every 5 to 20 minutes. And that meant starting from step 1 inside the VM again. So, never forget to plugin your network cable.

There's a special place in hell for this admin. And if there isn't, I'll PERSONALLY make the devil create one. Even now that I'm not even working on this any more.

😤😤😤

4-Stars-Hotel? My ass!!! This fucking shit of WiFi connection only serves like 10 requests then breaks. What the fuck is this shit?

Why is a damn WiFi connection in Germany like searching for water in the desert?

I fucking hate this hotel. You cunts ruin my fucking week.

FKING. LANDLORD. FKING LANDLORD THINKS MY LAN CABLE SLOWS THE FKING INTERNET BACK TO THE 1990s.

- Prologue
I'm renting at a place that looks good af. But the fking wifi is so slow, 80% of the time you can't even send an empty http request.

- Chapter 1
Okay, maybe it's my laptop. *plugs in cable*. Now the requests fail 10% of the time. Better than nothing. 2 hours later, gets a text saying other housemates are having slow internet because of me. FUCK. Unplugs, LAN cable, uses mobile data and cries to sleep.

- Chapter 2
Tries again after a few days. Barely uses the internet (I'm only using it to play games, not even download it and I used more than this with a 2mbps internet). No videos, no music, just small data exchange with a low ping. GETS A FKING TEXT AGAIN

- CHAPTER 3
My sis comes over and complains that the net is slow af. Plugs in LAN cable while no one is around, everything is fine. Sis leaves, I roll up my end of the LAN cable in my room but leave the cable plugged in on the outside of the room. Next morning, it's unplugged. Plugged it back in before I go to work and when I come back, guess what? ITS FKING UNPLUGGED. AGAIN. AND IM NOT EVEN USING IT.

SOMEONE PLEASE STOP ME FROM GOING ON A RAMPAGE SHOVING THE FKING CABLE AND THE ROUTER UP PEOPLE'S ASSES. LAN FUCKING CABLES DONT SLOW THE INTERNET BACK TO THE PREVIOUS CENTURY. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE NOT EVEN PLUGGED IN ON THE OTHER SIDE. FUCK.

Things that still feel like they were yesterday:
- Microsoft buying Skype
- WiFi 802.11n
- USB 3.0
- Android 5.0, Material design
- Microsoft buying Nokia
- “Grid layout is an experimental technology”

Nobody even uses Skype anymore. I’m still looking for “is it support that WiFi n-word” when choosing a router. Yes it supports it. Everything that happened since 2009 supports it. Usb 3.0 was released in 2008, 12 years ago, and I’m still happy when it’s a blue connector instead of white. Android 5.0 was released 6 years ago.

I don’t understand HOW can I know that the newest but not exactly bleeding edge web specs like clamp function aren’t the newest and use them but still believe that grid layout is an experimental technology despite using it in production and FUCKING LOOKING AT CANIUSE TABLE and FUCKING THINKING THAT USB 3.0 WAS RELEASED JUST NOW while working on the laptop that FUCKING HAS TYPE C as its only port

It looks like somebody should go have his time perception module checked

1. Fucking MySQL database clusters.

There's nothing fun about MySQL clusters. Sometimes they start producing deadlock errors for no apparent reason... well, there's probably a reason, but it's never a transparent easy to find reason.

What was even less fun is that those errors took down a Sentry server. When your error log server goes down through ddos from your database messages, it's time to rethink your setup.

2. Wiring up a large factory with $2 arduino clones, each with a $2 esp8266 wifi chip, with various sensors for measuring flow of chemical solutions (I wanted cheap real time monitoring as an early warning system next to periodic sampling).

The scaling issue was getting over 500 streaming wifi signals to work in a 55c moist slightly corrosive atmosphere with concrete and steel everywhere, and getting it all into a single InfluxDB instance for analysis.

My wifi was hacked two times last year, so I decided to change the factory credentials. Some months ago a tree fell on top of the cables on the street, cutting my internet connection. I call the ISP and when they get here they say I have no right for costumer support as I have altered my own connection.
WHAT. THE. FUCK
I had to revert the credentials to admin/admin in order get my internet back. These ISPs live in the fucking stone age. How the fuck do they force me to fucking have my router exposed with a fucking "admin/admin".
Fuck them.
I hope some day we have a cable revolution and finally have some rights over the networks we pay for with both tax money and excesive fees with low fucking speeds. Fuck them. Really.

How tf does these even make sense?! That's a fucking sledgehammer and large metal chisel on fucking steroids. If your parents don't know what the fuck those are and realize they have nothing to do with fixing a relatively flimsy box (in comparison) they probably need more than their WiFi fixed, but since they managed to fucking raise you, I doubt they're that dumb. I get that parents might not always understand technology, but shit, at least respect the fact that they survived without the Internet, which you probably couldn't do...

I can get absolutely dead pissed by the fact that a FUCKING 1800 euro laptop can't do a fucking basic thing like connecting to a bloody WiFi ap?

so why, you wonder? oh no, the problem isn't the fucking hardware. IT'S THIS DEAD BEAT PIECE OF SHIT CALLED WINDOWS. mfw when it runs fine under Linux, BUT WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS CAN WE ADOBE?!?

Okay, so I was helping an elderly woman with her laptop + internet today (with payment). Problem: Laptop connects to WiFi, shows internet connection, but you couldn't even go to google.com.

The router wasn't the issue as my phone worked on the same WiFi. After a lot of troubleshooting steps, I noticed that Windows forced IPV6 for all WiFi connections for some reason. The router doesn't even support IPV6... So I disabled it and everything started working again.

WHY THE FUCK DID WINDOWS NOT TRY TO LOOKUP A IPV4 ADDRESS IF THE IPV6 FAILS? BOTH WERE ENABLED! WHO AT THE FUCKING WINDOWS 10 DEVELOPMENT TEAM THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?

So my ISP decided it was ok for them to log into my router remotely and re enable the wifi.

I turned it off for a reason and no your excuse that it will improve my upload speed is bullshit you stupid patronising fucking shithead.

I'm now seriously looking into cancelling my service with you because you don't respect your customers or their wishes.

Also I'm guessing there's a default backdoor password into the router as I changed all the passwords I could find. Meaning the whole thing is horribly insecure.

Fucking windows! I am so fucking done with this microsoft bullshit!

Hear me out here, i am a gamer. I need windows because it has the games (and software to aid those games) unlike any other platform. But windows 10 is basically already phishing andmalware at this point. I stuck to win 7 because it had a start menu and didn't totally drive me up the wall.

Just a short list of their bullshits: ads in the explorer window, ads in your taskbar reminders, data mining like it is nobodies business and trying to hide it, sharing my wifi access with friends (wtf), the fucking retarded new start menu, the crappy fullscreen apps which have less functionality than the actual proper desktop applications that you need to config what you want, and even then pushing multiple updates that simply broke peoples pc's. Fuck that, ill stick to 7.

They are making win10 worse by the week making it unlikely i will ever join that hell, and they are also aiming to force me there. Making windows store exclusives and dx12 only games. What am i supposed to do against that?! The current releases don't bother me much but fuck i figure it is a matter of time until the newest katamari game is their exclusive and i nanananana katamari damacy all over their platform.

And well all alternative os's are just out of the question unless vulkan rendering gets the upper hand. Then i'd switch to whatever stable distro and learn about our new penguin based overlords languages.

For now i will just stick to win7, suck on my thumb while in fetal position and hope it just all goes away.

!wifi
!!anger

I bought a new wlan card to fix my infuriating wifi issues. It's a TPLink Archer T6E, supports ac, and ostensibly uses Ath9k drivers. Multiple reviews said "installed, booted, and connected! So easy."

Guess what?
I've spent the past two hours trying to get it to work. No banana.

Some other reviews have them fighting with the drivers for days. Looks like that's going to be me, too. 😡

Why the fuck is wifi so fucking difficult?

Due to inspiration of giving up with windows being slow (performance wise) always connecting to MS severs (I have slow internet) so it’s noticeable when I can download quicker on a raspberry pi then on a laptop - both over wifi 🤷‍♂️

And burning a fucking boot DVD for Ubuntu takes 3 fucking DVDs at 2.4x speed - before getting a successful boot disk 😞

I think it’s time to swap out this hdd and go to the dark side!

My school just tried to hinder my revision for finals now. They've denied me access just today of SSHing into my home computer. Vim & a filesystem is soo much better than pen and paper.

So I went up to the sysadmin about this. His response: "We're not allowing it any more". That's it - no reason. Now let's just hope that the sysadmin was dumb enough to only block port 22, not my IP address, so I can just pick another port to expose at home. To be honest, I was surprised that he even knew what SSH was. I mean, sure, they're hired as sysadmins, so they should probably know that stuff, but the sysadmins in my school are fucking brain dead.

For one, they used to block Google, and every other HTTPS site on their WiFi network because of an invalid certificate. Now it's even more difficult to access google as you need to know the proxy settings.

They switched over to forcing me to remote desktop to access my files at home, instead of the old, faster, better shared web folder (Windows server 2012 please help).

But the worst of it includes apparently having no password on their SQL server, STORING FUCKING PASSWORDS IN PLAIN TEXT allowing someone to hijack my session, and just leaving a file unprotected with a shit load of people's names, parents, and home addresses. That's some super sketchy illegal shit.

So if you sysadmins happen to be reading this on devRant, INSTEAD OF WASTING YOUR FUCKING TIME BLOCKING MORE WEBSITES THAN THEIR ARE LIVING HUMANS, HOW ABOUT TRY UPPING YOUR SECURITY, PASSWORDS LIKE "", "", and "gryph0n" ARE SHIT - MAKE IT BETTER SO US STUDENTS CAN ACTUALLY BROWSE MORE FREELY - I THINK I WANT TO PASS, NOT HAVE EVERY OTHER THING BLOCKED.

Thankfully I'm leaving this school in 3 weeks after my last exam. Sure, I could stay on with this "highly reputable" school, but I don't want to be fucking lied to about computer studies, I don't want to have to workaround your shitty methods of blocking. As far as I can tell, half of the reputation is from cheating. The students and sysadmins shouldn't have to have an arms race between circumventing restrictions and blocking those circumventions. Just make your shit work for once.

**On second thought, actually keep it like that. Most of the people I see in the school are c***s anyway - they deserve to have half of everything they try to do censored. I won't be around to care soon.**

New position at work. Lots of power in regards to tech stacks of my choice.

I feel like Neo.

First project was finished in a week using Clojure. A basic application that would automate the process of adding our students into a particular active directory system in which many other things happen at the same time including updates to pins and other shit as well as networking and wifi permissions. Works fast as fuuuuuuuuuck, the alternative existed(somewhat) in php and while there was nothing wrong other than speed I wanted to show the head of my department what i could do.

It was anticlimactic as fuck. I thought it was gonna take me longer. It fucking didn't and i am glad as shit. It is now working like an absolute powerhouse in its own environment and being monitored by the sys admins, they loved how easy it was to deploy and how well behaved it is.

The head of the department is impressed as fuck and the board of directors got a hold of it. Reason being that I am being displayed as some sort of wizard that used ancient alien tech in the 21st century.

Fuck yes, major win.

I also get to add Clojure to my resumee. Hod even said that if needed be they will rethink my salary to add the fact that i get to use this tech where no one else can.

So I have that custom-made wifi router I've built. And it uses a USB wifi adapter with AC (wifi5) capability - the fastest one I could find in AliExpress.

I set it up a while ago - the internet access works fine, although speeds are somewhat sluggish. But hey, what to expect from a cheapo on Ali! Not to mention it's USB, not a PCIe...

A few days ago I ran a few speedtest.net tests with my actual AC router and the one I've built. Results were so different I wanted to cry :( some pathetic 23Mbps with my custom router :(

This evening I had some time on my hands and finally decided to have an umpteenth look.

nmcli d wifi
this is what caught my eye first. The RATE column listed my custom router as 54Mbps, whereas the actual router had 195Mbps.

I have reviewed the hostapd configuration sooo many times - this time nothing caught my eye as well.

Googling did not give anything obvious as well.

What do we do next? Yes, that's right - enable debug and read the logs.

> VHT (IEEE 802.11ac) with WPA/WPA2 requires CCMP/GCMP to be enabled, disabling VHT capabilities

This is one of the lines at the top of the log. Waaaaiiitttt.. VHT is something I definitely want with ac -- why does it disable that??? Sounds like a configuration fuckup rather than the HW limitation! And config fuckups CAN be fixed!

Turns out, an innocently looking
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP`
change into
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP CCMP`

made a world of a difference!

:wq
!hostapd
connect to the hostapd hotspot and run that iperf3 test again, and... Oh my. Oh boi! My pants fell off -- the speed increased >3x times!

A quick speedtest.net test deems my custom router's download speeds hardly any worse than the speeds obtained using my LInksys!!

The moral of the story: no matter how innocent some configurations look, they might make a huge difference. And RTFL [read the fucking logs]

In the pic -- left - my actual router, right - my custom-built router with a USB wifi adapter. Not too shabby!

Okay you bastards ya got me: I fucking enjoy using Linux as my dev environment.
There, I SAID IT -

BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND IT MEANS THAT I STOPPED HATING IT

Oh the fucking love hate relationship to fucking Linux.

"Hey, ihatecomputers! How many hours per year did you spend fixing internet connectivity issues on Windows?" you ask. Well, close to fucking 0 you goddamned imbecile. But on Linux? I don't even want to talk about it.

And what about that time when I wanted to connect my bluetooth headphones so I could listen to music while studying? Well, by the time my headphones were connected to my machine (usually a one second operation) I had no time left for, you know, actual studying. Oh my god, it's the most trivial fucking thing.

Well, at least that particular issue got solved.

Unlike that fucking Ethernet connection which has been fucking out of commission since I started using fucking Linux. Wifi works just well enough to make it not worth pouring more time into troubleshooting that shit, but just barely though because my wifi IS FUCKING DOGSHIT ON LINUX

...

But fuck me if it isn't it the most lean thing ever! It's the goddamned opposite of bloated. So smooth and snappy. And free as in slurred speech, or whatever. It makes me happy. When I'm not seething with rage, that is.

Yeah I guess that's it, thanks for tuning in.

~ihatecomputers

Just arrived at the vacation home, turns out the "free" wifi is dead as hell, because quote; "a tree fell on a wire"

Which first of all that is fucking bs because they have internet at the reception still so that shouldn't work either right? But okay we now live without internet for the coming 3 days we are relying on our data plan....

Dear enployer, how do you expect me to develop for mobile devices without provding fucking WiFi in the office. All the nice gadgets you have given me, are worthless because you can only plug one thing into it at one time - the lan-dongle Xor the fucking macbook you need for remote debugging. Nice.

26 or so hours up now. And I've got a few stories to tell :) feel free to refresh your cup of coffee and take a seat.

Last few days I've been going into this odd place called intown.irl to get in touch with its inhabitants. An odd place I have to say. But in some cases quite rewarding, even got a MILF home with me and into bed at some point. Anyway...

3 days ago I think it is now? Thursday evening I took my laptop to this local bar where I had this issue about dihydrogen monoxide with one of the bartenders earlier (you'll find that rant on those keywords). Still wanted to visit it regardless though, as I met that first woman there earlier that approached me. Unfortunately I didn't see her there that day.

Some bald guy who was clearly drunk approached me. Many people were already giving curious looks at this laptop I brought to the bar. I finally tuned it up with the stickers from FOSDEM.. I'll put a picture of it in the comments. My theme was one of privacy (central), distributions and Google's open source initiative (which aligns with the keychain token I got from them as well). But of course.. that guy.. he thought that a pimped/riced laptop obviously meant that I was a hacker.

Guy went to the toilet.. went back.. and suddenly grabbed my laptop and turned it towards him. Boy was I never more smugly satisfied that those rubber pads on the bottom are quite resilient. Could've almost damaged my screen by trying to grab it like that. But it's a CCFL display.. so high voltage. If it were to become broken.. worth it. 😈

On it at the time was a terminal, pinging Google (had network issues at that bar, to the point where one of the - I think - staff members got up to me and offered the WiFi password and got to talk with me.. more on that later), and my usual Linux desktop along with the Arch anime wallpaper with the quote of Da Vinci.. simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. Of course the guy saw the terminal.. and probably reaffirmed.. yep, that's a hacker. At least he wasn't too wrong about the general term.. but the hat.. most likely he was wrong on that one.

Guy left with this question.. "you are a hacker, aren't you."
I replied to him: "No sir. I'm not a hacker. I've got no idea what you're talking about."
Guy kept looking at me weirdly for the whole night to come.

Back to that companion guy though. Mac user, yada yada.. but he told me about his backup solution. Apparently - I shit you not - he has not only the photos on his local device, he's also frequently backing them up in Time Machine (which I was really curious about whether it uses mirroring or snapshots.. he couldn't tell, lmk if you do) but not only that.. he was storing another offsite backup in that very bar, in case his house went on fire.

Now that is a proper backup scheme!!! If only more people were like that.

Seriously though.. that bald guy who took my laptop just like that... I just let it slide for that one time, but I tend to treat my machines as an extension of my very self. I think that was a very uncalled for move. Asshole...

How would you have reacted to such a thing? And.. maybe that's why we technologists don't get outside too often? Fucking everything is hacking these days if it's not Knopkes and Blinkenlights… Not every shell is a h4xx0ring console for h3kk1ng de fasbuk…

*Breathes in and out*
WHO THE FUCKING FUCK MESSED WITH THE WLAN ON THE PI?!
WHY THE FLYING FUCK DOESNT wlan0 WORK WITH THE NEW STRETCH IMAGE?!
WHO THE FUCK PROGRAMMED
THIS SHIT OF AN IMAGE?!
EVEN THE SHUTDOWN ISNT WORKING PROPERLY!
I FUCKING LOVED THE OLD JESSIE ONE! OK!!
*Begins to smash head to table*
WHY THE FUUUUCK DOESNT THIS WORK!
PLEASE! FFS IT JUST WONT CONNECT!
*Head begins to bleed*
FUCK!!!
*Stops smashing head*
*Tried once again*
Huh, it takes Longer now...
Error...
FUCKING FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
I HAD SO HIGH HOPES FOR THIS SHIT TO WORK! PLEASE RELIEVE ME OF THIS FUCKING BAD DREAM!
*Takes a Deep breath once again*
Shutdown -i
Error, another user is connected.
THIS CANT FUCKING BE! IM THE ONLY FUCKING USER ON THIS WIFI AND PI!
THIS SHIT MUST BE KIDDING ME!
AND NOW IT WONT SHUT DOWN!
*Realizes that I ran out of fucks to give*
OK...
IM NOT ONLY PULLING THE PLUG NOW, I WILL BE PULLING THE GODDAM FUSE OF MY ROOM!!
EVEN MY DUCKY DIDNT HELP ME!
THIS IS USELESS!
FUCK.

btw, there should be Raspberry Pi Capes.

1. our public transport added a free wifi to busses, some years ago already. it's got a "login" page, connect to wifi, get a phone notification, tap it, opens page with an ad and 10 second timer on a "click to continue to internet" button.
... okay.
recently, the geniuses decided to harvest mail addresses, which... *gritting teeth* if you must...
BUT... "please input your mail address". i input and submit.
"we have sent a mail with confirmation link to that address, please click the link to confirm to get access".

FUCKING BRAINZOMBIES, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO ACCESS MY MAILBOX TO ACCESS INTERNET WITHOUT THE ACCESS TO INTERNET?

2. i had a second unrelated minirant, but i forgot what it was, so another one instead:
a long time ago, in a country where i live, the transaction slip the ATM gives you after withdrawing money used to contain info about remaining funds after withdrawal.
then, the info was removed from the slip, and a "feature" was added to atms where you "can" check the money on the account.
doing so costs you 0.50€

greedy asshole fuckers.

Have a couple I want to air today.

First was at my first gig as a dev, 4-5 months out of school. I was the only dev at a startup where the owner was a computer illiterate psycopath with serious temper tantrums. We're talking slamming doors, shouting at you while you are on the phone with customers, the works...

Anyways, what happened was that we needed to do an update in our database to correct some data on a few order lines regarding a specific product. Guess who forgot the fucking where-clause... Did I mention this boss was a cheap ass, dollar stupid, penny wise asshole that refused to have anything but the cheapest hosting? No backups, no test/dev/staging environment, no local copies... Yeah, live devving in prod, fucking all customers with a missing semi-colon (or where clause).

Amazingly, his sheer incompetance saved my ass, because even if I explained it, he didn't get it, and just wanted it fixed as best we could.

The second time was at a different company where we were delivering managed network services for a few municipalities. I was working netops at that time, mostly Cisco branded stuff, from Voice-over-IP and wifi to switches and some routing.

One day I was rolling out a new wireless network, and had to add the VLAN to the core switch on the correct port. VLAN's, for those who don't know, are virtual networks you can use to run several separated networks on the same cable.

To add a VLAN on a Cisco switch one uses the command:

switchport access vlan add XYZ

My mistake was omitting the 'add', which Cisco switches happily accept without warning. That command however can be quite disruptive as it replaces all of the excisting VLAN's with the new one.

Not a big deal on a distribution switch supplying an office floor or something, but on a fucking core switch in the datacenter this meant 20K user had no internet, no access to the applications in the DS, no access to Active Directory etc. Oh and my remote access to that switch also went down the drain...

Luckily a colleague of mine was on site with a console cable and access to config backups. Shit was over within 15 minutes. My boss at that time was thankfully a pragmatic guy who just responded "Well, at least you won't make that mistake again" when we debriefed him after the dust settled.

Why THE FUCK is screen mirroring without being in the same wifi network a thing?

Why THE FUCK have all these smart tvs turned this on by default?

Why THE FUCK does the list of found devices SORT itself RANDOMLY if another device is found.

I probably mirrored my phone screen to a random tv in the neighbourhood because as soon as my finger was about to touch the name of my tv, a random tv swooshed into it's place.

WHAT THE FUCK THERE IS NO FUCKING NEED FOR THIS FEATURE IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ACCESS POINT AROUND, THERE WILL BE ONE IN 99% OF ALL POSSIBLE USE CASES.

I mean if I got it right, i can share porn with my neighbors now, or at least annoy them?

I think I want to quit.

I know it’s a bit of an inconvenient time with there being corona around but everything was okay up till January. I’m a junior even though I shouldn’t be. Since my manager told me and my team leader senior in my review “maybe you two should switch jobs” things have been going downhill. I think the team lead had it out for me and didn’t put me on a new project, I’ve been left with doing stupid basic shit like updating text on websites in a cms and doing fuck all and then there’s also another guy that was basically harassing me trying to put me in my place any time I was doing better than him and literally both of them been like that ... and now that I’m working from home it’s even worse. I don’t have any kind of assurance that everything okay and actually I think I’m being framed as welll since I found keyloggers on my work laptop and deleted cleaned shit up the past two weeks and changed my WiFi security as there were like 5 unknown devices on our network so yeah .. I’ve been framed and they made it out like I put a powershell script on one of the servers and it crashed a Porsche website for 8 h and all kinds of bullshit - this was yday. On Tuesday they logged me out of everything like changed the password for work vpn and kicked me out of slack and Microsoft teams for over 2 hours till the end of shift and two managers weren’t answering their phone and then next day my manager called and apologised that saying that he “accidentally” did that to me along with 15 people they let go from the company....

I’m seriously thinking of quitting being removed from team group for a moment , not being on a project and people literally trying to put me down after I know I’m genuinely smarter than them and if I had over 10 years experience like those on my team (I have 1) I’d be far higher up and better

They can genuinely just go fuck themseves !!!! And here I was going to work over weekend on something! No fucking way I just wanna quit or give in my notice but because of corona I’m divided

What the fuck is up with this fucking tour bus company called Akdeniz?
These fucking retards want me to login to instagram etc. to get wifi access. Like wtf. Is not my 30 TL not enough?
Are you really going to save my login data for a few TL? Why would you dipshit people want me to login with my social media account (besides of that I do not even have an Instagram account. Miss me with that gay shit.)
I do not have a fucking fuckbook and a twittermyass.
I hope y'all fucking die by sucking my long ass dick, incompetent braindeads!

Boi did I forget what a horror is to deal with Wndows...

I just wanted to shutdown a laptop to replace the SSD and a wifi card. Prepared everything, clicked on the [start] and there were only "Update and *" options. Wha the hell I thought, I could spare a few minutes. It's just a software update - should not take long!

Little did I know...
That was 45 minutes ago and It's still shutting down. And I'm just sitting with that screwdrived in my hand, looking at that blue screen and waiting. I feel stupid

UPDATE: I gave up. Long-pressed the POWER button. que sera, sera, right?

Lights go out. I press POWER again to boot it back up (forgot to save smth else). And it boots up back to the "SHUTTING fucking DOWN" AGAIN!!!

I’ve had enough of shitty ISPs. Time to shame them 😈

Here in the UK, we have a company called TalkTalk who treat their customers as whores by not giving a shit and taking all their money.

I have had an ongoing issue for about 9 months now where our internet is more unstable, but also slower. We pay for 72Mbps at which we used to get, but now our internet tops out at 30Mbps if we are lucky. It can be 20Mbps one minute and 7Mbps the next, and I’ve had it drop below 1Mbps for no goddam reason.

I’ve spoken (well, argued) argued to their so called customer service department over phone and live chat explaining the situation and all they’ve done is said “restart your router”, or “we’ll send out a new router, it’s probably a WiFi issue”, or some bullshit like “I’ve ‘changed’ something on my end”. On one conversation with a so called technician, I had to explain how networking actually worded, and and even called a 7Mbps acceptable when we were paying for 10x that!!!!!

The thing that makes it worse is they actually have systems that detect any issues with customers internet lines, but they only alert the customer to the issue through an online portal, telling the customer to call up and get it dealt with rather than passing the info to a tech department and having issues fixed without the customer knowing unless it’s absolutely necessary.

So 9 months in and I still have a fluctuating, unstable internet connection which is slow and overpriced with no tunnel in sight. GIVE ME BACK MY GODDAMN MONEY YOU FUCKING THIEVING BASTARDS.

This “Auto save” feature in the latest app version is buggy..
-> new rant
-> prefilled with previous rant..

Anyway, here my actual rant begins.

Apple, go fuck yourself, seriously.. put your trillion dollars way up your arse...

Moved to Ireland, want to switch country..
“If you want to switch countries, cancel your Apple Music subscription first”..
so be it. Cancelled it..
“Your subscription will be cancelled in 28 days”.

FUCK YOU, YOU COCK SUCKING BASTARDS!!
I NEED TO SWITCH THE STORE TO BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD BANKING APPS AND STUFF LIKE THAT..

But ok, I’m screwed in this regard..

Suddenly iMessage stopped working. This is kind of a big deal because I have unlimited data but only unlimited sms to Irish numbers and I need to communicate with people in Switzerland and Germany..
Internet works so I try to turn iMessage off and in again. But that doesn’t work.. i can only reactivate iMessage via WiFi.

So I go back to the hotel, reactivate iMessage..
“Verifying imessage” >> google..
Leads me to an Apple forum: “the verification of iMessage can take up to 24h”.

Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in a new country and rely on this overpriced shit..

Fun but sad fact, I have a second phone with me. IPhone 4 with iOS 7 and that thing WORKS!!

If this is where the future is going we’re all gonna die very soon.. plains crash, power plants explode but hey, at least they have data about it and it looks shiny. That’s all that matters..

Another reason to switch to android..

MacOs fucked me up so I already switched to windows + Linux. Next one will be getting rid of iOS, they don’t build small phones anymore anyway..

The Bluetooth API for Android is a fucking mess.

So is WiFi direct. Good luck doing anything with it.

That's all lol

I think I'm having a "return to monkey" phase.
What the fuck are we doing?

Free VPN's, free cloud storage, smartphones and stupid telemetry/uSaGE aNaLYtiCs, password managers, social media, content farms, cheap wifi enabled smart home and 'intelligent' cars.

I'm starting to hate it all.

Look at how many people (including myself, sadly) is glued to their fucking datahoarding multimedia shitdevices (known as 'smartphones'). While sitting in a room filled with every fucking small appliance that needs an app, wifi and phones home to who the fuck knows.
Even my fucking dishwasher has an app and wifi enabled so I can start the dishwasher outside the wifi network.

How the fuck did we get here?

The WiFi at my office requires username and password to sign-in and logs out after every few hours. Then I have to tap on "sign in" and submit the username and password again.

Is there any fucking way I could automate this.......?

Had given my laptop at the repair store. They were just suppose to do a checkup and then give a choice on whether to repair or not. They repaired it and charged me 2.8K. No unit replacement or anything, just service. I didn't mind it (was actually happy seeing my laptop boot up and not have a blank screen). It's a dual-boot (Windows/Antergos(Arch-linux)). It booted to Windows instead of GRUB. Didn't care too much, because it had happened before and I had handled it.
After I take it back home, I discover that the WiFi doesn't work (it doesn't even seem to be a driver issue). Live boot of arch doesn't have access to WiFi either. Reinstalled GRUB, only to discover it doesn't boot successfully (issues with video card). So, now I'm stuck with fucking Windows WITHOUT WiFi and an arch-linux that doesn't fucking boot.
Gonna reinstall Arch now.

P. S. : Windows is super fast, because I haven't really used it and don't really like using it. I feel very limited by Windows.

Well, I have a friend working on a major bank in my city. Yesterday we went for a coffee when he told me that the wifi connection that the costumers can use is the same as the network they work in. Like, are you fucking me? Do they know what security means? Jesus Wallace, wake up!
And they have a fucking "web security guy" working there. Doing what? Installing ccleaner on pcs? This shit gets me mad. And that's why I don't trust banks.

F*cking wifi driver on acer aspire. Suddenly the WiFi stops working, no way to turn it back on. Alright I'll restart if that helps your pedantic ass. Fucking hangs in restart and then crashes.... THIS IS THE SECOND TIME WITH THE LATEST DRIVERS! DID YOU JUST JERK OFF ON THE SOURCECODE OF YOUR DRIVER OR DID YOU ACTUALLY FIX THE BLOODY THING.

Ubuntu: Lulz your trackpad drivers don't work and there's no solution other than compiling them yourself or something it might not even work because it's for a different model but just hope and pray ok? also your wifi obviously fucking won't work. What, are you retarded?

Manjaro: Ye I gotchu. Mouse works outta the box. WiFi too

So I get home from work, sit down infront of my computer and start browsing a few sites.

The loading times was not as fast as they should so I checked out my network setup. I had been auto connected to my ISP provided modems WiFi, which happens every now and then, so I reconnect to my faster and better WiFi AP.

Invalid password. What? Ok.. Let me just type in the same password, slowly..
Invalid password. MF..... Same password, looking down at my keyboard.
Invalid password. GDMF...

Browse to my AP config site, type in username and password.
Invalid password. Oh no you fucking did not just deny me entry as well.
Ok. Something is up and I'm going to get to the bottom of this!

Boot up Kali, fires loads of crap at the WiFi and the site. Still no damn luck! WTH!
I go upstairs to my AP, turn it off and on again.

I can now login on both my AP WiFi and config page.
It had frozen.
Thats two hours of troubleshooting for a "have you tried turning it off and on again" solution.
I feel great about my competence after this.

I fucking hate printers. And printers hate me too.

I've been working as a software engineer for almost seven years now, and not a single day as a printer technician, which does not stop my mother from calling me each time a printer breaks down, as she did today. I hop over to her place, the printer is connected via usb into the ethernet socket, but she swears it's been printing an hour ago, and she hasn't moved a thing. - "weird", I think, "it must be connected wirelessly". Suddenly my sister, who's an Arts major, comes over, saying her printer broke down too - "cool so they're both wifi printers". I reset the router and my sister's printer springs back to life.

But my mom's printer, which is old and in bad shape (the printer, not my mom! assholes...), doesn't. It keeps on displaying a weird error message, and fails to receive any print job, whether wired or wireless.

I spent 15 seconds resetting the router, and 15 minutes troubleshooting mom's printer. Nothing worked.
I finally give up and leave the house.

Not a minute goes by and I receive a "your sister fixed the printer" text from mom.

I fucking hate printers.

Our school had for an open source way of dealing with home schooling and managing the school network and so on.

Now the government forced a "proprietary" system on our school and everyone hates it. The teachers didn't want it the pupils didn't want it but who cares "what we do is the best".

Btw the proprietary system costs a fuck load of money even though they just mixed many open source projects and made it their own proprietary thing.
And this company now get's loads of money for their shitty system that never really worked once since we got it.

They blocked so many ip's that we can't even access google and it's services on the school wifi and the bandwith dropped severely with the new system.

Oh and many random ip's e.g. one of my vps is accessible but the other one not.
Discord is blocked.
Web whatsapp.
And so on...

Now....

I need to learn for tests next week and need to access that stuff on the portal but...

Now they decided to switch the LDAP server to the new system and since a few hours i can't access this fucking thing.

It seems like the platform now contacts the new server which isn't even up and running....

Never change a fucking running system....

Oh and we got smart boards and it runs on android and they didn't block adb. Now i installed clash of clans on one of those things. Haha whoops.
These boards cost 7000€ and have security patches from 2 years ago....and Android 8

Ok, first rant, about my struggles getting reliable internet over the past 6 years. It's not too interesting of a topic, but here we go:

I'm living in a more rural part of Germany and internet here is shit. I pay more than 50 bucks a month for 700kb/s downstream (let's just not talk about upstream...), which is meh by itself but it gets worse. Before this I had roughly 230kb/s downstream using DSL. My provider came out with a new oh-so-fucking-fancy solution for giving people faster internet without upgrading their lame ass fucking backbone and POS infrastructure from 70 years ago: they sell you hybrid internet which combines your shit DSL and an LTE connection using TCP Multicast. Not only do I get only 6 of my promised (and payed for) 50 Mbit, no, It's also a fucking piece of nonworking shit!!!

Let me illustrate:
You constantly have problems with web content (or any remote content) not loading because the host server does not support TCP Multicast. It either refuses connection altogether or it takes about 30-50 seconds to establish a connection. Think about your live when it takes two or three fucking minutes to load 5 YouTube thumbnails or load new tweets at the bottom of the Twitter page! Also, you never know if you a) have an error in your implementation of a new API or if b) the remote host doesn't support TCPMC (there's never an error for that! Fuck you!), your SSH sessions ALWAYS drop in the most inopportune fucking moments because the LTE thing lost connection, you always have to turn on a VPN if you want to visit specific websites (for example your school's website) and so on....

Oh and also, my provider started throttling specific services again these days with Netflix and YouTube struggling to display 240p, fucking 240p video without buffering when I get 600kbit down on steam (ofc the steam download is paused when watching videos). When using a VPN, YouTube 720p and Netflix HD work like a charm again. Fucking Telekom bastards

Then there is the problem with VPNs. The good thing about them is that they solve all the TCP Multicast problems. Yay. Now for the bad things:
First of all, as soon as I use a VPN, access times to remote go up by like fucking 500%. A fucking DNS lookup takes 8-15 seconds!!! The bandwidth is there but it takes forever.. because reasons I guess. Then the speed drops to DSL speeds after a while because the router turns off my LTE connection when it is unused and it does not detect VPN traffic as traffic (again because... Reasons?) And also, the VPN just dies after an hour and you have to manually reconnect (with every VPN provider so far)

And as if that wasn't enough, now the lan is dying on me, too, with the router (the fucking expensive hybrid piece of shit, 230 bucks..) not providing DHCP service anymore or completely refusing all wifi connections or randomly dropping 5Ghz devices, or.....

You get the point.

The worst thing is, they recently layed down 400mbit fiber in my neighborhood. Guess where the FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT CABLE ENDS??? YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY NEIGHBORS HOUSE. STREET NUMBER 19 IS SERVED WITH 400MBIT AND MY HOME, THE 20, IS NOT IN THEIR FUCKING SERVICE REGION. Even though there is a fucking cable with the cable companies name on it on my property, even leading up to my house! They still refuse to acknowledge it! FUCK YOU!!!!

Well anyways thanks for reading. Any of you got the same problems? :/

This is a classic example of "We need to justify our Dev's salaries so we made a bunch of changes in the name of innovation."

Why did they have to do this? I miss the old design where one swipe from the top had 5 icons, one for wifi, one for mobile data, one for Bluetooth, one for battery saver and one for flashlight. If you wanted to access something extra, one more pull and you'd get all of the notification tray options.

Now these fucking things take up half of the screen. Absolutely worthless design.

Samsung Smart TV becomes Samsung Dumb TV.

Welcome back dear readers, to the next installment of my Raspberry Pi / Pi Hole / MitM box adventure!

For those of you who are new to this story, I'm a long experience programmer who knows very little about his home network or networking in general and has constantly been going over his 250GB data plan because 'rona, and thus, wants answers to "where is the data going".

So, I got the Pi, codenamed Mini-Beowolf, positioned between the modem and router... worked some fuckin systemd.networkd magic (which was sort of easy... but was hard cause I'm new to it) and viola, this son of a bitch passes through the ethernet and doesn't even show up on the router. Fu-King Beastly, I love it.

Now to static IP all my devices so I fire up my trusty TP-Link admin portal. I should add here... I've visited this admin about a total of 10 minutes prior to this when I set this wifi router up and just let it do DHCP.

So I'm getting to know my admin portal... I've got most of my devices connected to reserved IPs... and I find this one fuckin device reporting as "localhost".

Now, I've got a MAMP install... but it hasn't been running. But still I thought for sure it was just MAMP run a bit amok.

But no... it was my fucking Samsung "Smart" TV. That piece of shit is, and apparently has been reporting its device name as, sure as shit, fucking "localhost"... PROBABLY FOR YEARS.

Now, IDK how that didn't cause me any major problems over the years, and I read quite a few forums about people who it did mess up their network. So I resolved to rename the Samsung TV device.

I found the spot in the network settings of the TV... I changed the name from the pick list of rooms in a house like "Living Room" and "Bed Room", then I tried entering my own device name. But no matter what I picked, or no matter how many times I restarted/reset that TV the network name is ALWAYS "localhost".

Even though somehow my network survived this long... I'm not standing for that shit.

My Samsung TV is now blocked COMPLETELY at the router level. (After I ran one last factory reset and update)

The kicker? That Pi I built has a Samsung SSD... so I'm blocking Samsung WITH FUCKING SAMSUNG.

Needless to say, these are likely among my last Samsung purchases.

Join me next time when I FINALLY try to turn Pi Hole on and then get a tcpdump (or some other lesser output from the tcp stream) going.

This is why you should NEVER do tech favours for friends...

As a Christmas present I setup a WiFi router for a friend (Natted to the ip it acquires through DHCP). Since then I have had numerous messages from her because her brothers are blaming the WiFi for any internet issue they have.

I told her they need to check their cables since they looked quite dodgy when I installed the router.

Today they discovered they have a termite infestation. Her father is losing his shit with her and wants her to remove the router because he is adamant that the WiFi attracted the termites and they would not have an infestation without it.

FML... I just can't.... any fucking issue in that house is going to be blamed on the WiFi router as long as it exists.

ios is such a fucking piece of shit os. it won't let you upgrade it unless you are on wifi, and even if you connect to wifi it will say "iphone will try to install this update later tonight". typing on the ios keyboard is terrible, and feels like i'm in 2011 again. it would have been much more usable if the good parts were not sacrificed to suit appearance and whoever is in charge of ios development didn't think that his way of using the iphone was the only true way of using a phone. i'm so pissed off because of the wifi thing gosh

P.S. i can't imagine someone coming from long time android use and saying "how fucking awesome!"

Coding for MCUs gets more and more surreal every day.. On one hand we're cooding oldschool heavy metal C or C++, but on the other hand they tell you to use PuTTY to check if there is a working serial connection - what the fuck?

Also the IDEs they suggest you. VSCode or Eclipse. Both are so unbelievable unusable for this, even with plugins, I would compile this shit via CLI myself before using them.

It just feels so contrary - they act like professionals and just spit out 200 uncommented lines of C to start WiFi on the ESP32 - not explaining a single fucking thing, but on the other hand, they checked the connection via PuTTY after writing some uwu kawaii shit into Eclipse.

Not to mention Arduino with their FUCKING SKETCHES.

I seriously don't fucking understand those people who like programming iDevices.

I mean, in my personal experience you have:
- iPhone not connecting to a WiFi (while working on a network project)
- Mac, while using multiple desktops on 2 monitors: I have the 3rd desktop active on the 2nd monitor, search for terminal to open it and it opens in the 1st desktop of the first monitor
- while making an app (ionic or unity), is about 5 to 15 times slower compared to the same android apps (same exact code, but gotta go throught XCode, y'know?)
- takes YEARS to download XCode, but is necessary to even just build for lastest iPhones updated
- takes years to upload to AppStore and when it's done it just tells you "oh bitch, you know what? you forgot that fucking icon for tablets, how about you rebuild it all? and NO, you have to change the build number or I won't accept it"
- App quality was so pedantic on the first publish but then always fucks it up at the second upload, like "hey we checked it the first time, now we can just 100% trust it works and doesn't use anything scammy"
- code+compiled app for iOS is like 1GB while android vode+build is like 100MB WTF do you even put in those 900MB? random trash? WHY?
- I'm not even gonna get into the forums or the amount of money you have to pay for both product and services
- MacOS works ALMOST like Linux, but takes all the worst from both windows and linux to give you the worst performance with the best graphics, but it looks cool, so doesn't matter

A good world would be a world where Apple goes bankrupt after Steve Jobs died

Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!

Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!

So let's talk about CNAs, Captive Network Assistants, these downsized browser that open on Smartphones when you try to login to a free wifi which requires you to buy sometging or accept some terms.

I fucking hate them. I'm a web dev which has to deal with these dumbfucks.

Back in the time, there was this dumbfuck who had the idea to capture http requests on network level and response with a redirect to his own landing page. Fuck this guy. Then some dudes had the idea of the CNA as a privacy security feature. A good idea. But also this guys: "hey, let's make them a huge pain to develop for".Fuck them, too. But then came the companies saying: "hey make us a huge SPA with all features we can think of for this fucktard of a browser."

I hate fucking CNAs

I’m really struggling to see WHY IN THE HELL it was necessary to delete my FUCKING NETWORK PROFILES to update this FRUIT FUCKED ALUMINUM SHIT BOX!

How did they test this and be like, oh, yea, you can’t connect automatically to ANY of the WiFi networks you have saved, because we deleted all the network profiles. That is acceptable, it won’t cause anyone any real problems.

Sure you need to update some shit. But why are you even touching that part of the disk? Damn you filthy lying fruit fuckers!

Didn't install linux for years now. Today, I have to and nothing changed about wifi drivers, at all ! Even the install process still sucks !

And they still ask to "sudo apt-get install fucking-wifi-driver" ?!?!?!

I don't have internet yet, that's the all point, damn it !

OMG. This weekend, there is Rainbow Six Siege free to play on Steam. I have a desktop PC, but I can't get it to work. Tried Ubi support, but they give shit. So...I was hoping, I could finally try this crap game on my laptop. And here we go...

Normally, I use Linux. Only Linux, because Windows 10 on my laptop is extremely fucking painful. I knew it's going to be torture to install that game on it, but whatever.

OK, firstly, I was surprised, that Windows booted in just about 1 minute. I was like wtf just happened. Everything seemed to be fine and working. I downloaded uPlay, installed it and tried to install the game. Just to be clear, this rant is written from Linux again. And why?

Because FUCKING WINBLOWS desides to FUCKING UPDATE WIFI DRIVERS. 1 minute - internet works, second fucking minute - WIFI IS FUCKING DOWN. Thanks fucking pussy Gates. I really like you. And use this crap daily. Holy shit I would die...

Fuck Arch wifi handling!!! Why can’t you fucking just have the needed software in the base package!!! Because when you take YOU FUCKING USB INSTALLATION SOMEWHERE THERE’S NO ETHERNET!!! You’re FUCKED!!! What’s the point! Now I need to boot from my lubuntu usb dual boot install, FUCKING INSTALL the Arch iso, VirtualBox and then the needed wifi packages!! Fuck!

So I'm making an app with a classmate at school, but there's one huge problem. All the PC's and laptops at school are shit. The ICT departement at my school blocks almost everything on them. I can't install any program, open any file and I can't even open the command prompt! So I can't install Visual studio or any other IDE and basically can't do anything besides browse websites that aren't blocked. And they expect me and my classmate to make an app. Fortunately, my classmate has a spare laptop we can use, but it's really difficult for two guys to code on just one laptop. I asked my school if they could buy new laptops or if they could remove they restrictions on two laptops, but they don't want to do any of those things and now we're stuck with just one laptop. I don't know what to do. I fucking hate this!

(This doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the rant, but I just want to complain.)
There are a couple more things I hate about my school. At my school, everyone is forced to use iPads. I don't know why they don't just give us laptops instead of iPads (maybe just because there lazy). So my iPad's headphonejack and homebutton where broken for no reason and I had to get it repaired. But instead of going to an apple store or a repair shop, you need to go to the school's ICT department and get it fixed there. If you don't do that and go to a apple store or something, they will take your iPad and keep it forever! Even though you pay €200 for it every year! Also, the ICT department at my school is lazy as hell! You expect them to repair the iPad themselves, but they just send it to a repair shop. So it wouldn't even matter if I would go to the store myself! 😠 And they even do a really bad job at checking if the device even works after the repair, because I needed to get it repaired three times in a row! And don't even get me started on the bad WiFi connection.

Wakes up in the morning to find some fucking asshole has stolen my wifi reciever and I have a fucking deadline! Wtf is wrong with human beings nowadays?
Does anyone know a witch?

A rant about fucking google!

I search for a page, but my internet is pretty slow (not on wifi), so while waiting I think of somwthing else to search. And now I have 4 tabs open on my phone.

After a little while, I get the following error (see attached image). I get a little frustrated, but I'm a calm person, I decide to solve the (still loading) CAPTCHA and continue browsing.

After a little while, I get an error that my browser (Edge) is not supported and I can't open the CAPTHCA. On other websites, it has always worked just fine, but they want me to switch to their Chrome, to steal my data.

It is quite a clever trick if you think about it. Either that, or I've been hacked and there's a bot on my phone.

Fuck Google! I'm trying to write a fucking parential app that I can install on my little sisters phone, because I won't download something that is meant to monitor activity on a child's phone when I am capable of writing one. Problem is, I test it on my phone which has Android 10, because I am not keen on testing with a slowpoke out of wood brick that the target phone is. Android 10 does not let you do a single shit that is needed for a parential software. You try to turn on airplane mode to prevent messages from arriving and such? Well.... nope, you can't. Okay... airplane mode is too drastic. Let's try turning off WiFi and Data. Fuck me, you can't do that either. I gave the app fucking system permissions and It laughs in my face when I try to access some simple shit like... WiFi state. Miserable. I wonder if it will let me mute the fucking volume on the phone. I guess It won't, because "You shouldn't set these things on a user's phone.". Well, fuck that. That's exactly what I need. That old brick does not have built in parental settings. Jesus.

There are a couple:

A system that updates user accounts to connect them into our wifi system by parsing thousands of processing files written in Clojure. The project was short lived and mainly experimental, It has complete test cases and the jar generated from it is still purring silently on the main application. It was used to replace an $85k vendor application that made no fucking sense. The code has not been touched in 2 years and the jar is still there. The dba mentioned the solution to the vendor, the vendor tried buying it from me, but being that it belongs to the institution nothing was touched, still, it got the VP's attention that I can make programs that would be bought for that level, it caught his attention even more when I showed him the codebase and he recognized a Lisp variant (he is old, and was back in the day a Fortran and Cobol developer)

A small Python categorical ML program that determines certain attributes of user generated data and effectively places them on the proper categories on the main DB. The program generates estimates of the users and the predictions have a 95% correctness rate. The DBA still needs to double check the generated results before doing the db updates. I don't remember how I coded it because I was mostly drunk when I experiment on the scenario. It also got the attention of the VP and director since the web tech manager was apparently doing crazy ML shit that they were not expecting me to do, it made them paranoid that I would eventually leave for a ML role somewhere, still here, but I want more moneys!!

A program that generates PDF documentation from user data, written in Go, Python and Perl (yes Perl) I even got shit from the lead developer since I used languages outside of their current scope of work. Dude had no option but to follow along with it :P since I am his boss

Many more. I am normally proud of my work code. But my biggest moment is my current ntural language processing unit that I am trying to code for my home, but I don't have enough power to build it with my computers, currently, my AI is too stupid, but sometimes it does reply back to my commands and does the things I ask it to do (simple things, opening a browser, search for a song etc) but 7 times out of ten it wont work :P

I did it. I switched from Android to iPhone. Why? Because they came out with a new UI and features with the iPhone X and it’s been 3 years since I’ve owned an iPhone; I don’t like to be left out of new tech.
I already don’t care for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautifully designed phone. The clicks, haptic, and general feel of the phone is great and so is the X’s different UI. But the features? I feel like I’ve gone backwards a few years from where my Galaxy S8 got me. Facial recognition is actually great, but I could have had that with my GS8, but I preferred iris scan.
I forgot my wallet at home and wanted to buy a drink from the drug store by my work. I usually use Samsung pay which uses MFC & NFC so I can just use it with any magnetic reader; no says iPhone. I try to unlock my phone in the car, but there’s not trusted device option like in Android, so I unsafely struggle. I want to sign into my gyms WiFi, but no sign in option pops up like in Android; I’ve got to pull up safari.
I fucking love my Apple Watch though.
It’s definitely better than the Android watches that I’ve tried, and that might keep my with an iPhone much ch longer than I want until a better Android watch comes out.
I just think it’s good not to fanboy anything. Be open, find all the pros and cons.

Add wifi they said..
It'll be a simple addition that adds a ton more usability they said...
Now just tack on access point mode, everything is already there.. that'll be quick and easy they said..

..... no, no, it's not... It's a fucking pain in the ass dammit!!

CircleCI:
- Ensuring work has meaning: "Let's make yet an other dashboard webapp that going to replace all of our dashboard webapps which we made to replace all of our dashboard webapps"

-Solving interesting problems: "Let's make this with java 15 instead of java 14!!!! Also add graphql to ADD interesting problems nobody had since the nineties!"

- Gain meaningful value from talent: 'Bitbucket and the whole pipeline died fourth time this week, I'm going to drink a coffee or two..."

- Developers in flow: "Joe went to have a lunch around 11:00, you probably should not look for him until 14:30."

- Bring buying decisions closer to the engineering team: "The boss tried to bring up the pros and cons between aws and azure... The police eventually had to break the ensuing fight in the meeting room. The survivors reported things got truly out of hand when someone mentioned line-endings"

- Bring leadership closer to the engineering team: "There was yet an other agile coached hired, when she asked how should we measure velocity one of the lead devs managed to actually wake up and told her that the wifi is still pretty fucking slow"

I have never understood people ranting about how Linux is incompatible with their machines. Back in 2006 what ever machine I had tried Linux on was working better with it. More than that all the drivers were working out of the box and the only problem that could possibly happen was with graphics.

FF 10 years. I am using MacBook for some time now and I did no installation of Linux for couple of years now except on bare metal servers. And have just bought my sister a new hp envy. Nothing fucking works. Not even wifi. Installation is hanging and I do not fucking know why! Her previous computer had problems with wifi. If wifi is turned on you could not turn the fucking pc off. It would fucking freeze.

Well fuck my life :(

Fuck!
I have overwritten some files that make my WiFi-module work and I can't reinstall it, because that doesn't fucking work!! (Ethernet is also giving up on me😢)

NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING REINSTALL FUCKING UBUNTU, BUT MY LAPTOP WON'T BOOT FROM THE FUCKING USB!!!!

I was having internet issues -
I'm running an nongenuine iso of Win7, and installed the driver for my wifi adapter (ralink)
i performed this process three times after it one day stopped working.

i stared directly at my wireless networking button. which wasn't lit.

and then i continued searching for help on my second computer (hp stream, i cry)

and then it fucking hits me

the networking button
wasn't
fucking
lit

so i pressed the button, what you're thinking happened happened, and i both had all the motivation in the world to continue living, but simultaneously wanted to die a thousand deaths becaus I was that fucking STUPID.

have a blessed night,

write code like God's reading it ,and satan's using it.

Why is it so fucking difficult for mobile OSs (Android/iOS) to revert to mobile data when the WiFi is clearly not working? It’s so annoying when my phone connects to some AP 10 fucking nautical miles away and tries desperately to get a connection to the internet when I have a data plan that works just fine. The solution would be so fucking simple: before the phone switches to WiFi connection it should simply probe the internet. Login required? Ask me if I want to proceed before showing me the fucking login portal. No response at all? Then don’t even bother going any further with it.

This shit is long story of my computer experience over my lifetime.

When I was young I got my first PC with windows it was not so bad. It required safe shut down of it’s fat32 partition. From time to time I needed to reinstall it cause of slow down but I got used to it I was only a gamer.

Time passes and I got more curious about computers and about this linux. Everything worked there but installation of anything was complete madness and none of windows programs worked well, and I wanted to play games and be productive so I sticked with windows.

I bought hp laptop once with nvidia card, it was overheating and got broken. So I bought toshiba and all I told to the seller was I want ATI card. Took me 5 minutes to do it and I was faster then my friend buying pack of cigarettes because I was earning money using computer.

Then I grown up running my small one person programming businesses and I wanted to run and compile every fucking program on this world. I wanted linux shell commands. I wanted package manager, and I wanted my os to be simple because I wasn’t earning money by using my os but by programming. So after getting my paycheck I bought mac. I can run windows and linux on vm if I need it. I try not to steal someones work so I didn’t want to run hackintosh. I am using this mac for some time.

Also I use playstation for gaming. Because I only want to run and play game I am not excited about graphics but gameplay. I think I am pragmatic person.

I can tell you something about my mac.
When I close lid it go sleep when I open it wakes up instantly. I never need to wonder if I want to hibernate or shut down or sleep and drain battery. It is fucking simple.
When I want to run or open something it doesn’t want me to wait but it gives me my intellij or terminal or another browser or whatever I search for. Yeah search is something that works.
Despite it got 8 gigs of ram I can run whatever number of programs I want at the same speed. The speed is not very fast sometimes but it’s constant fast.
I have a keychain so my passwords are in one place I can slow down shared internet speed, I can put my wifi in monitor mode and I don’t need to install some 3rd party software.
And now I updated my mac to high sierra, cause it’s free and I want to play with ios compilation. Before I did it I didn’t even backup whole work. I just used time machine and regular backups. And guess what, it still works at the same speed and all I did was click to run update and cook something to eat.
When I got bored I close the lid, when got idea open lid and code shit, not waiting for fucking wakeup or fucking updates.

I wanted to rant apple products I use but they work, they got fucking updates all along at the same time. And all of updates are optional.

I cannot tell that about all apple products but about products I use.

I think I just got old and started to praise my limited time on this world. Not being excited about new crap. When I buy something I choose wisely. I bought iPhone. I can buy latest iPhone x but I bought iPhone 7 cause it’s from fucking metal. And I know that metal is harder then glass, why the fucking apple forgot about it? I don’t know.
I know that I am clumsy and drop stuff. Dropped my phone at least 100 times and nothing.

I am not a apple fan boy I won’t buy mac with this glowing shit above keyboard that would got me blind at night.
I buy something when I know that it can save my time on this world. I try to buy things that make me productive and don’t break after a year.

So now piece of advise, stop wasting your time, buy and update wisely, wait a week or a month or a year when more people buy shit and buy what’s not broken. And if something’s broken rant this shit so next customer can be smarter.
Cheers

So I salvaged some computer that was about to be thrown out by IT because it works perfectly fine and would be a waste to lose.

The (current) problem is, there is no built-in wi-fi adapter so I had to order a usb adapter to plug into the machine.
Fortunately enough it supports Linux but cones with a cd with the _source_ of the driver in it and we are supposed to build it. Now what's the problem with that?

First problem: building needs all sorts of build tools, starting from gcc and make. Since it's a fresh install, though, I _cannot_ install those normally because -- you guessed it -- I don't have a WiFi connection, which is why I needed the bloody adapter in the first place, so I spent hours trying to fetch the binaries from the apt register using another computer and bringing them over via USB.

Once that was (more or less) successful, the next problem came around; Second problem: the instructions clearly state to run make, but there is no fucking makefile anywhere so that obviously fails spectacularly. What _is_ there are some bash scripts so I try running those.

Now, just when I think it's finally done (one of the scripts has been running for a while and seems to work) the compiler dies with an error: the fucking driver won't build for the current kernel version. And not just that, but it is clear nobody is using basic things like include guards because gcc kept screaming at me about the same macros being defined over and over due to header file re-inclusion. Like, seriously? Come on!

Long story short the fucking adapter is going back to the seller, let's see if the next one I order more civilized.

rant/!rant

So I just started working at the beginning of January and I have no fucking clue about anything especially Web development.
But now I have a week to figure out how in the world I am going set up a workflow for some secretaries so that the higher ups get a printed coupon with a password on it, so they can log into our WLAN via a captive portal that I also need to set up.
I am thinking about a website that takes a list of names and settings (probably excel or smt) passes them to the WiFi management softwares API and then generates some PDF file for download that just needs to get printed.
Did I mention that I have no Dev tools (I have notepad, yeah the one without ++), no test environment, no prior experience and no clue how to do it?
But somehow I love this challenge and am glad that my colleagues don't send me to get coffee but let me work.
Am I insane?

Under pressure for a big feature that had to be merged into develop like one month ago. But I couldn't because of issues I discover every single fucking day.

Today's issue is that a Cucumber test fails. I try reproducing it on my machine, it fails with a different error. Apparently I need to download some 10GB database file from some company server.

Alright, let's download it. But it's damn too slow. Well, let's have lunch in the meantime.

I come back, the download timed out at basically the same point I left it at.

I don't wanna try again. Not without trying to improve things. Download speed is ridiculous. Switching from Wi-Fi to Ethernet definitely helps, I thought.

The cable doesn't work. The port LEDs are both off. Is that cable even connected to something? So I follow that damn cable throughout my colleagues' desks. I'm now doing things without even remembering why.

I finally find the other end. It is plugged to the wall. I try another plug, but that fucking LED is still off. A colleague tells me: not all the sockets are actually connected to the switch, you have to call IT to have yours patched. Stay calm, stay caaaaalm...

A small lamp turns on in my head. Maybe something in my laptop is broken. So I try with a colleague's ethernet. That fucking LED is still off. A-ha.

Turns out, the shitty macbook adapter has this Ethernet port that DOESN'T work out of the box. It needs a driver to even realize there's a port. I look for it, I find it. I finally have wired connection. It's like having drinking water again.

I turn off WiFi, I re-try downloading that fucking database.

Nope, it's still stupidly slow. The bottleneck was in the dumbfuck internal server.

FUCK.

At least I have Ethernet now.

rant && !rant

I started my Internship a couple of months ago, but it didn't live up to my expectations.

> The good things:

- I have a structured internship programme, where we are given a independent project to complete during the internship, so all the work is slow and nice, so no unreasonable deadlines.

- Cool-ass supervisors (and smart too). They let us leave if the we don't have any more work planned, no sitting until the end of office hours, so go home early and SLEEP.

> The bad things:

- Shitty-ass people. But I've to deal with them once in a few weeks, so not that bad.

- Restricted wifi, but some websites can be accessed for memes. So, knd of fine.

- NO BRAIN-FUCKING EXPERIENCES FOR RANTING. I thought I would start my internship and meet retarded people and post some rants but NOOOO, someone had different plans for me (that 'someone' is LIFE, just in case if you are wondering)

> Summary

- Kind of disappointed about material for rants, but 10/10 it's been a good internship.

Last night there was a hellstorm of weather that ripped off 10m thick trees out of its fucking ROOTS and smashed cars, traffic lights ripped off, some roofs ripped off, containers flying fucking everywhere, floods and it all went away within 2 hours as if nothing happened

Electricity is fucked and Of Course i lost my internet connection. I dont have my fucking wifi. Im using mobile 4g

I try to continue coding on my project AND LOCALHOST CAN NOT RUN IF I DONT HAVE WIFI??? WTF IS THIS HORSESHIT?

WHY a NEXTJS APP CAN NOT RUN AT 127.0.0.1 IP ADDRESS JUST BECAUSE MY INTERNET IS DEAD FROM SHITSTORM??? WTF DOES LOCAL NETWORK HAVE TO DO WITH THE INTERNET

I SWEAR MAN SOME HIGHER FORCE DOES NOT LET ME WIN

ALL THIS BULLSHIT AINT MY FAULT NO MORE ITS SOME BULLSHIT HIGHER FORCE TAKEN OVER RN

Anyone else really fucking despise the fact that OSX opens location tracking every time a wifi or Ethernet is connected and as far as I’ve found it can’t be turned off.
I’m ok with a service doing it on a request but not an OS that’s clearly gathering information. If I didn’t have to use it I’d throw petrol on it and burn it to the ground

I'm currently sitting in a hockey arena owned by my city, they offer free wifi, and cause I'm privacy conscious, I try to download a VPN for my computer. The motherfuckers block the download under the vague "violation of use policy" bullshit. Even better, I read the ToS they give you when you connect, and it says sweet fuck all about prohibiting downloads. What the fucking fuck do you have to gain from me not using a god damn VPN. It just makes no god damn sense.

I'm fucking not able to connect my virtualbox's host only adapter to the fucking internet since 3 days now

Fuuuuuccckkk

Selecting a particular network to be shared will make me require to change settings every time I connect to different WiFi/LAN (Even though I couldn't even get that working)

Maybe even someone here can help me

Fuck me. I was installing arch after giving up on manjaro not working, and after fighting to get it connected to the wifi, I forgot to plug it in and it died 30 minutes or so into pacstrap.
Goddamned idiot, that's what I fucking am.

Anything made by asus is a fucking garbage.

My first asus laptop was eee pc 701. It had only 2 gigabytes “ssd” which was just a flash drive using usb 2.0 inside. Doing this instead of using a proper sata ssd is like using bunch of rats glued to a frisbee instead of roomba vacuum. It displayed “intel 800mhz processor” in settings but this was only the processor’s name string, in fact it was only 640mhz single core. I still managed to install totally stripped version of windows xp to it and play some old games but overall it was horrible. It also heated up as hell.

My second asus laptop was infamous z99h. It had windows vista and was slow as hell right out of the box. Also BOTH hinges broke in just like six months. It was horrible as well. The screen itself broke in a year.

I also used asus rt-series router and it required a restart every day just to deliver some wifi. Don’t you dare tell me to “uPdATe fIrMwArE”, I pay money for the product and I expect it to work right outside the box.

Asus smartphones was also garbage.

So why have asus laptop if you can have a real laptop like MacBook or thinkpad? Why have asus phone if you can have a real smartphone like iPhone or pixel? Why have asus router if you can have ubiquiti?

Asus drivers suck, and all of asus software is just bloatware.

Seriously WTF TP-Link?
Bought an Archer T4E Wifi adapter card for my PC. This has got to be the worst piece of shit hardware ever sold.
I mean are you kidding me? This card has two TWO!! antennas sticking out of its back and won't maintain a connection to an access point that I have NO PROBLEM AT ALL connecting to with my fucking phone? And don't even try to connect to the 5G network with this embarrassment of a WIFI card.
Looking at the support forums and loads of people complain about the exact same thing without any reply from this shit company.
Seriously screw you TP-LINK I will never buy any hardware from you again.

Logging into my schools blackboard using selenium is only redirected on school WiFi

Outside school WiFi I go directly to the site. But on the school WiFi it pauses on a redirect page with a link that loops back to the redirect when grabbed by selenium And selenium fails

Fucking hell

Fuckin damn it Google! I setup a transparent proxy and for some fucking reason Google home doesn't like that at all. I think I have a fix but it's a real fucking pain in the ass. I call your support people who I specifically tell that I'm running a fucking proxy and they tell me that I need to talk to their Google WiFi team. It has nothing Todo with my fucking wifi bitch. Its your price of shit price of crap hardware that doesn't like fucking proxies.

I'll update everyone what the fix is when I find it.

Btw, this is a HTTPS transparent proxy and HTTP transparent proxy running on my pFSense firewall box.

Yesterday was "but you are Russian" day. It was somehow decided by people in my office, that Russians are the fixers. Basically its the regular flow: Fix the wifi, install me a Windows, Fix VM image, fix my sd card coz its fucked up, I have issues with my hotspot, air conditioner is not cooling enough. But whats weird... Those people are fucking developers themselves!! Wtf?! I got a call from US team (I'm in Israel) and they wanted me to fix their laptop over the phone!!!!!! FUCK!!😕

Blowing out your node modules is not the fucking answer to everything! All I did was accidentally sym link a package. But no you insist that I fucking delete them all even though I am at home on shitty wifi and going to fucking run ‘npm install’ a million times!!!!!!!

Then I did and getting weird handshake errors and you are not able to fucking help.

Fuck you idiot!

Why is it that windows 10's network adapter takes so fucking long in order to work and connect to the internet!!

Does anyone know a way to trace back what's causing it? And why it takes like full 15 minutes for the Ethernet or wifi drivers to even work? (I'm not even sure if this is something with the drivers or the way windows's network adapter way of working)

I couldn't find Jack shit on the internet (most of them are ghetto do this and that and hope it works) I want something more advanced so I can figure out for once why this happens on numerous windows computers

(Linux people, I understand you, please don't rant your stuff here, this is a bit serious issue, thx)

Why am I so curious?

You are always talking about Arch linux. Well, I got a second hand (very old) laptop to use as a backup, as I am going to working from home and I just have a desktop pc. So I decided to install Arch on it just to know how does it works. After this first experience, I would change it to a lubuntu (I am talking about a Celeron with 2GB RAM).

Well... I managed to install Arch. It is up and running. Lot's of problems to fix yet, sound, native wifi (I am using a wifi adapter that just works on any linux distro) etc but I am fucking in love with Arch! And I can't use it to work, as it is very unstable and I really need everything always up and running to work. I cannot have any glitch with the computer or I can lose a deadline.

Game development:
So I finally got a story. An actual fucking story! Anyways no development on the actual project. My computer just crashed recently so I'll be looking into issue if it can actually start up showing the screen and keyboard to get working again.
Oh and Im getting wifi tmr.

A fucking space character should never be allowed in a wifi password!!! Just spent 4 hours looking to why the fucker would not connect to find a space on the end!! Trim or show an error!!!

I had to share my laptops wifi internet with my desktop using ethernet. Microsoft has a dedicated feature of Internet Connection Sharing and it didn't work.
But manually bridging connection adapters got the fucking job done.
Just Microsoft things.

Unable to run internet on company provide Mac book ..fucking. stupid....Tried to remove proxy but not working..Even wifi getting connected and for a second it runs the internet.

How to get rid off this proxy shit

Transformed my gaming rig into a dual boot hackintosh since I had a SSD from my previous build laying around. Now the fucking thing boots perfectly fine besides that shitty wifi USB dongle which just reconnects 3-10 times to the wifi and then suddenly causes a kernel panic. Fucking piece of shit 😑

I'm wondering when all the super amazing cloud apps will finally be able to sync notifications between devices. I mean this "problem" is solved for decades with unread emails etc., but somehow companies that get billions of dollars shoved into their arse can't seem to figure out that I don't want to receive all 57 notifications of the past week a second time whenever I turn on my tablet's wifi.

One might think that setting a fucking boolean flag in some database is not that hard when your service can stream 4k video to millions of people, but apparently I was mistaken.

!dev
Missed the fucking bus to work because they changed up the times here without prior notice...
So no more having the "nice" train (with comfy clean seats, wifi and airco) but the "crap" train (old dirty seats, no wifi and no airco) AND a quarter of an hour wait...

I rly need a drivers license...

Erry day I'm tetherin'

Because the fucking WiFi driver gives up on life every 3 months, repairing takes about a month everywhere and I have 3 devices, so there's not a whole week that I can spend without usb tethering from my phone.

Wondering if I should install adb and android dev drivers on my dad's laptop just so I can reflash and upgrade OpenGApps, LOS.

The locations services didn't seem to be working well, seems it may not be using the GPS,. just wifi...

I don't have all the backups, stock images I have at home either and not sure I want him to see me fucking up my phone...

Convo I had last time:

Me: Oh I bricked my phone again, for now you can reach me by email
Dad: wtf? Why?
Me: well it's complicated... Wasnt working and so I wanted to reflash and upgrade everything but ...
Dad: stop buying shitty phones
Me: ....

My network is somehow fucked up. VPN Client on laptop to my workplace is not connecting via wifi but instead connects when my phone creates a hotspot, while the phone is connected to the same router via wifi? Second laptop this occurrence.
When the work laptop is outside of VPN but connected to the router with wifi, about 50% of web pages are not reachable, same with my own PC and another laptop. Didn't touch my router in ages. Nice fucking conditions for wfh.

Windows sucks ... Fucking die in bowl of water Microsoft you can't make a single thing that works as it supposed to...
Trying to connect to a WiFi past 30 minutes but it connects the default ones and the fucking progress bar keeps going you can't cancel it.

1. The fucking wifi is retarded at work, it works for 2 minutes then drops connection for 2...
2. The building is also a fucking bunker so 4g signal is pretty much nonexistent
3. Spotify won't let me view my "offline" saved albums unless I go totally "offline" within the app WTF

LET ME LISTEN TO MY FUCKING MUSIC FOR FUCK SAKE