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Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.
Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"
Debugging:
Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.
Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.
Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".
*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*
App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?
Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.
Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*
Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?
Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.
Mam: but why was it opened there?
Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*
If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.
I am suspicious of one thing though.
Mam: what's that?
Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.
Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.
Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.20 -
Me: PHP, please load the images.
PHP: No.
Me: Come on PHP, the deadline is tonight.
PHP: Haha nope.
Me: What if I swap the libraries?
PHP: Still no.
Me: What if I add a symlink?
PHP: No. And also I hate you.
Me: *gives up and sends an email to the client saying we have to delay the release*
PHP: lololol jk here's the images haha
Me: :/13 -
"Can you put my site as the first result on google?"
I can add SEO to your site, just give me your preferred keywords, a description, and let's make sure we follow white hat best practices etc.
"No call someone at google and ask how much to go to the top of the list"
So you want to pay for ads or..?
"No get a figure I can pay to get to first page"
"Or can you just edit the google"
... And so I never renewed that contract ever again, the end.12 -
devRant should add a polls feature for simple questions with yes no answers or what version of linux people use etc maybe?
18 -
Although there's been a lot of rants on Firefox Quantum, I'm going to add my experience anyways.
Just downloaded it on my laptop and netbook.
Motherfucker this thing is fast. No lag, pages load very freaking fast, consumes less ram than before and I fucking love the new interface!
Mozilla, you did a hell of a job!22 -
The hardest part about being a developer is constantly having to come up with nice ways to tell people they are idiots.
No I can't just "add some AI because it's cool right now". 😒5 -
Me: hey dev, my in-app purchase isn't reflected on other phones with your app
Dev: *cricket noises*
About a week later...
Google Play: an update for this app is available
20 minutes later...
Dev: nope, that isn't an issue.
You updated the app minutes ago after being silent for so long. No mention of it being fixed in the changelog, no mention of it being fixed in the reply.. nothing. But I'll eat my hat if you didn't silently add it in and shoved it under the rug. Dickhead.
At least the issue doesn't exist.. anymore.
Please don't be like that...6 -
You start new job and take over huge codebase without tests and documentation.
It turns out programming language is custom language made by previous developer who was the only one maintaining project.
There is no source version control.
Language runs in vm developed in Fortran.
No one cared to this day cause everything was working.
Project is critical for multi billion dollar corporation that sells medical equipment that keep people alive.
You can’t test your code on real devices only on virtual ones that were made using same custom language but you can’t find source code for it.
Previous developer accidentally died before you were hired.
You signed contract with penalties that will ruin your life.
Your first task is to add “small” feature.
Good luck !12 -
Thanks for @PonySlaystation for coming up with this idea!
Wrote my first ever Firefox extension. It loads a json list from a server containing domains which, according to the snowden leaks of 2013, are integrated within a US powered mass surveillance network.
If it finds any urls on the page being loaded, it puts a fullscreen red background with a warning text and the links which match the surveillance criteria.
There's no way to continue to the web page yet, will try to add that later on.
30 -
Looks like I'm getting fired on Wednesday :)
Long story:
*I add first unit tests to project.
*Boss adds new functionality and breaks all the tests so I can't compile and write more for what I'm working on.
*Boss is very fragile and cannot handle any comment that can possibly be taken as a slight against him.
Me: "I wanted to ask what our policy on unit tests is please? Because we haven't really said how we are treating unit tests, and everyone myself included is not thinking about them. I also haven't added tests when I fixed bugs and this time your changes broke the tests"
Boss 10 minutes later: "I want to speak to you in private".
Boss: "you are too forceful and direct. You said I should have added tests."
Me: "yeah but I didn't mean in a nasty way"
Boss getting louder and more aggressive: "You are too forceful"
Me: "I didn't mean it in a bad way"
Boss: "I didn't want to add tests for that!"
Me: "then why add any tests?"
Boss: "Fine we are not having this conversation now!"
*Boss storms out
I decided I can't speak to the guy about anything without upsetting him spoke to the manager before I quit because I can't work like this.
That resulted in a meeting with my boss, his boss and the head of HR where I ended up savaging him and told them I can't bring up anything as I can never tell if it will offend him and that I spend ages writing emails and trying to document communications because I just can never tell if I will upset him. Also that I cannot bring up any ideas because I can't tell if he will somehow get offended and that I can't even write code because if I change something he wrote at some point he will get angry.
My boss claims that I am extremely forceful and disrespectful and that I am constantly insulting him and his decisions.
We go back over a ton of shit and I refute everything he says. In the end I have to have a meeting with him on Wednesday where we either get things straight, he fires me or I quit.
I think at this point that our relationship is too fucked for him to be my team lead on a 6 man team.
Side note I keep bringing forth ideas because we have one database shared between 6 Devs, no pull requests (apart from mine and another new guy), no test driven development, no backlog, no team driven story pointing, no running tests before merging, no continuous integration setup, no integration tests, no build step on merge, no idea of if we are on track to our deadline other than his gut feeling, no actual unit tests backend - just integration with a test db, no enthusiasm to learn in the team and no hope.21 -
This is a true story
I am a freelance developer, i recently had this conversation with my client:
Client: Add multi language option to my website
Me: Ok, I need for it 3-5 days
Client: Why?
Me: I need to create multi language system, this
website is built from scratch without using any
framework
Client: No need to built it, Just enabled it i need it fast
Me: Sir there is no such thing to enable features that
does not exit
Client: Listen me, I need this feature today, enable it
and we are done.
Me: Thats not how it works..
Client: I know how it works, i have hacking certificate15 -
Ex-boss (who boasted 20 years of programming exp.) Would not let us work on a web project saying we didn't have enough experience and said he'd do it alone... Fast forward to 3 days before presenting to client, we get to check the log in interface and immediately find that there's no actual security, no validation... Just 2 text boxes with hard coded users and no way to add more without creating them in db... And if you knew the next page's URL you can actually skip the login... Needless to say he was removed from the project that instant and we (interns at the time) had to do everything from scratch. A 3 months project done in 2 days. Never been more stressed in my life :'(11
-
*1 week into dream job*
Me: I need to communicate this variable to a script running in another thread, how do you normally handle that?
My Lead: oh, just add it as a global variable
Me: oh no...3 -
posted a question to StackOverflow this morning
three hours later I fix it myself and add my own answer with the solution
now they're both downvoted to -2 with no other comments. wtf SO?12 -
teacher (me): for the next session, we will need vagrant, please use the command 'vagrant box add…' before coming to class.
student, one week later: I tried your command, but an error came 'vagrant command not found'
me: did you install vagrant?
student: no... why?
*sigh*5 -
(The PM is pretty technical)
One day:
Me: Could you create this subdomain?
PM: Sure, just a sec.
Me: Ohh and could you add a letsencrypt cert? (one click thingy)
PM: Why would you need that on this kinda site...
Me: Well in general for security...
PM: Nahh.
*walks away*
Next day:
(referring to my internship manager/guider as Bob)
Bob: Hey... we have a new subdomain!
Me: Yup!
Bob: Wait why is there no letsencrypt certificate installed...?!?
Me: Well, the PM didn't find that neccesary...
Bob: (Oo) of course it is... are we going for security by default or what?
Me: Yup agreed.
Bob: *creates cert and sets everything up in under a minute*
It wasn't a high profile site (tiny side project) but why not add SSL when you can for free?8 -
Project Manager: "So that's the feature we need you to add... T-shirt size?"
Me: "Depends what shop I go to, sometimes L, sometimes XL-"
Project Manager: "No, no. T-shirt size... Estimate. Small means hours, Medium means days, Large means weeks."
Me: "Oh... 4 hours."
Wtf.10 -
how to make a feature request
1. dump Db table with 153 column to Excel
2. print!
3. circle column 47 on page 3, scribble feature description
4. scan! remember to use proprietary file format no one has
5. new e-mail, add "VERY URGENT!!!" to subject line
6. write "will call, discuss details monday"
6.a. attach proprietary-scanned-excel-dump-feature-description (optional)
7. postscript: deadline wednesday!!
8. wait for tuesday
9. send!
...3 -
I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them
if (boolean){
function ();
}
Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.14 -
Hello fellow ranters,
I created a poll to find out the distribution of used programming languages among us:
https://goo.gl/forms/...
I am curious, because obviously PHP is not very admired, and probably JS is the most used language around here. Lets see!
There is no information collected beside your answers. It would be awesome if you take this survey kind of seriously and do not add toooo many childish options ;)
You should have an insight into the answers after you participated. Maybe I will post some results after some time.26 -
I love writing and using my own apps!
Was just using 2 of them but found a new annoyance...
No problem! Open the source code, add the functionality, publish and install 😆
10 minutes after... All good and better 😁1 -
A new urgent request today…
“ITS URGENT WE NEED THIS CODE IN IMMEDIATELY I DONT CARE IF ITS FRIDAY WE NEED IT THERE BY ONE HOUR”
“What is happening?”
“ADD THIS CODE TO OUR CODE”
(A snippet to track marketing conversions from fb)
“Uhhh it’s Friday and our product won’t release to the public for 2 months anyway?”
“YOU DONT GET HOW URGENT IT IS, MUST BE THERE IN AN HOUR OR WE’LL LOSE DATA”
“O….k”
Spoiler: data said that today we had no customers on an unreleased project. Go figure!5 -
Me in 1996:
<html>
<head>
<body>My first website! I'm gonna be a website developer!</body>
</head>
</html>
Me in 2021: I have no idea what all that stuff in Node is for. All I know is that my boss says I need Node and gulp to compile this website to add a comma to a paragraph on a page for this client.
gulp
*a metric ton of errors appears*
@%#$!15 -
The idea was simple. Create a div.
Add two 50% div's inside. Float them. Add clearfix to parent.
Everything was fine.
Noticed that one of the childs had a height bigger than the other. But due to an adaptive design, setting static heights did not work.
Simple fix. Add a height to parent div and set overflow-y to hidden.
It didn't work.
Tried using the legendary !Important (a.k.a. not important but important.) Didn't work. Set position to relative, set static height. Set the childs to absolute position with height 100%. Problem solved.
No. It. Didn't. Fucking. Work.
Tried every possible css combination could could fucking think off.
After 15 minutes (8 hours in dev-stress mode) realized the clearfix changed the div DISPLAY TO FUCKING TABLE. A TABLE. FUCKING TABLES CANT HAVE FUCKING HEIGHTS FUCK.
Anyway. 6 years after my first clearfix. I learnt something new about the code that saves my life every project.6 -
I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix3 -
I would kill all these +1 guys, srsly. I subscribe these threads to know if it will be implemented.
You do not add any value to issue:
* devs are pissed off as this does not help solving problem
* others are pissed off
No one really cares about your likes, really.
28 -
Would the web be better off, if there was zero frontend scripting? There would be HTML5 video/audio, but zero client side JS.
Browsers wouldn't understand script tags, they wouldn't have javascript engines, and they wouldn't have to worry about new standards and deprecations.
Browsers would be MUCH more secure, and use way less memory and CPU resources.
What would we really be missing?
If you build less bloated pages, you would not really need ajax calls, page reloads would be cheap. Animated menus do not add anything functionally, and could be done using css as well. Complicated webapps... well maybe those should just be desktop/mobile apps.
Pages would contain less annoying elements, no tracking or crypto mining scripts, no mouse tracking, no exploitative spam alerts.
Why don't we just deprecate JS in the browser, completely?
I think it would be worth it.22 -
I automated the process of downloading songs from YouTube and transferring them to my phone.
This is how it works, very simple:
- I have a youtube playlist in which I add songs that I'd like to download
- When I run my python script, it parses my playlist and checks to see if I have added any new songs that aren't already downloaded
- Uses a library to download MP3 for all the songs I want to download
- Transfers all those MP3 files to a designated folder that is tracked by Google Music manager
- Google Music manager syncs those songs to my phone and downloads them for offline playback
That's it 😎 No need for YouTube Red
I'm going to run this script 24x7 on a Raspberry Pi, so everytime I add a new song to the playlist, script starts it's job without me running the script manually.16 -
me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.
arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!
me: err... yes you can...
arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!
me : okay okay... fine ...
**30 mins later**
i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol6 -
No comments allowed in JSON pisses me off so much.
Sure, I get all the arguments of "it's supposed to be a data-only format for machines", "there are alternatives which support comments", and "you can add comments and then minify the file before parsing"
But right now, when I just need to put a quick note inside a super confusing legacy package manager config about why certain dependencies to be frozen at a specific version, IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF THAT I CAN'T JUST ADD A FUCKING COMMENT.18 -
What's with the 4 pixel wide scrollbars on some desktop software these days? Does nobody care about accessibility anymore?
No seriously.
Fuck you.
And why the fuck does open source software seem to be the main culprit - as usual.
And tutorials telling us to add an extra blank line to our source code because fucking Linux distros decide to put an overlay horizontal scrollbar just over the top of where the last visible line in an editor appears.8 -
Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:
Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?11 -
Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?
I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!
And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!
9 -
MySQL should have a recycle bin. I just deleted whole "user" table by mistake... Forgot to add where clause properly... Had to restore 2 days old backup copy. I just hope no accounts were created or someone changed their password in last 2 days....8
-
Add no comments or documentations whatsoever during my initial years of coding (when actually I used to write code worse than a constipated elephant's shit).. In my mind I would be like "This is quite clear-cut.. A first grader will be able to understand this code.."
But then I had to debug my own code barely some 1-2 months later and I figured out the importance of good comments and documentation..3 -
Google can you fucking not just kill off random projects that still have a very active userbase!!!
I know you want to merge the play music streaming with youtube music. But that is no reason to kill off the default music player on Android. Cause, y'know, A FUCKTONNE OF PPL STILL USE OFFLINE MUSIC!!!!
And to add more insult to this, Play Music is a default app on pretty much all Android phones. This means it cannot be uninstalled at all. (Unless you root) So thanks for the waste of space!!!
17 -
Let's start 2023 !
WHO THE FUCK imagined that having language like YAML is a good idea ??
Fuck you and your spaces. No editor produce any decent errors messages except "Your spaces are wrong".
When you edit an Azure debops pipeline, it's just 5 min ti do thing, 35 minuites to figure ou where to add/remove spaces.
NO, I WILL NOT read 25 pages of documentation to add a single step into pipeline.
Fuck YAML !29 -
Recruiter:
... the bank purchased a 3rd party tool and hired a 3rd party development team to add some features to the tool. That external team hired their own 3rd party team, and now there are 400+ bugs in the system. Would you like to work as a test-automation lead on this project?
Me: Fuuuucck no.5 -
Useless feature I've built?
Too many to mention. Here's #25.
Modified an existing "Are you sure..?" dialog pop-up (Yes/No buttons) to Yes/No/Cancel. Why? Managers claimed users were "accidentally" clicking 'Yes' when they should have clicked 'No' and causing all kinds of chaos, costing the company money, etc. Managers believed giving the user two chances instead of one would make it easier to avoid the problems they caused.
The meeting:
Me: "Users can click 'No', hit the 'Esc' key, or click the close 'X' button on the window, how will an extra button make it more foolproof?"
Mgr1: "It just will. Andy accidentally deleted inventory and when I asked him if an extra button would have saved them a days worth of re-counts, he said yes."
Mgr2: "Barb accidentally credited a customer $1,500. She promised me she clicked 'No', but the system credited the account anyway. An extra button would have saved us thousands of dollars!"
Me: "Um...these sound like training issues, not an extra button issue."
MyMgr: "PaperTrail, how hard is it to add an extra button?"
Dev1: "Oh yea, adding buttons is easy."
Dev2: "I can do it 5 minutes"
Dev3: "We'll save the company thousands and thousands of dollars!"
<lots of head-knodding and smiles>
MyMgr: "That settles it. PaperTrail, add the extra button!"
Users still screwed things up, but at least they couldn't blame it on not having an extra button.24 -
PM: Oh, i got news about project xyz.
Me: Oh good, are we finally dropping support for that shity legacy system?
PM: No you gotta make a copy of it and convert all the currency symbols and add a bunch of new features, we selling it to a new client.2 -
Manager: "We're gonna have to work over the weekend to add this shiny new feature!"
Me: "Peanuts and Incentives included?"
Manager: "No, but you get job satisfaction!"
Me: 😒4 -
I love my notebook but still...
Fuck you to the person at Lenovo who thought that it would be a great idea to support 16gb of ram and then put 4gb internal ram into it.
I can add an 8gb stick to it, totalling at 12gb. There are no 12gb sticks (as far I am aware of) so yeah, fuck 16gb "supported" by the mainboard, 12 is the maximum.5 -
Yes yes yes
Let's spend countless hours writing painful spaghetti that generates a financial report, extend that spaghetti for specs, then not bother to check the amounts or status. or where it says the money went. Nope, checking non-unique names is totally good enough. We're so good at this. Ten points to the legendaries.
Let's also make the object factories not create the objects correctly, and make sure that report includes entries for orders that don't include any actual payments. Oh, their status? "Ready to send" of course! Let's send that totally valid $0.00 to nobody!
Oh, but Root. Root, root, root. You can't ADD payments to this. no no no. if you do, it'll break specs everywhere else that uses that factory! Shame on you for suggesting it.
Pssh, now you want to make a payment just for this report? Why would you do that? Our best devs have been working on this for years! What could you possibly know that they don't? No, they're perfect. Don't touch them. Just make them better, okay? No take, only throw!5 -
Friday 4:59pm
PM: hey, we need to add this new feature to the project.
Me: no problem, I'll take a look on Monday.
Monday 8:01am
PM: how's that new task coming along?
Me: 😩4 -
Continuation of https://devrant.com/rants/642962/...
You are the decryption key to my encryption,
No one can access my heart except you.
You are the loop in my life,
I always keep coming back to you.
You are my nodemon,
You are always watching over me.
You are the / to everything I do,
Am nothing without you and I will always preserve you.
You are my increment operator,
You add value to my life.
To be continued 😉3 -
Made a Website.
What this friendly old Lady wanted: a update to her poem/song website that looked horrible.
What she got: A goddamn masterpiece considering there is NO backend and I got nearly no ressources to work with.
It took forever to put that stuff together since I thought I dont need any frameworks at all. I didnt know PHP at all back then, so I just went all out with everything that pure HTML and CSS could give me.
I even went outside to make nice photos to put into the Background.
....so, he said no PHP or anything? YES! If you wanna add content you change the HTML and upload stuff via Filezilla. I dont really want to see it ever again. But not because it looks bad.
I know, its not really coding since its HTML but I Count this!1 -
OMFG! Who’s bright fucking horrible stupid ass idea was it to mix Ajax with php (php deciding the ajax paths) with random js outputting HTML inside random fucking static divs found no where near the logical route of content.
Trying to add a simple fucking status to a gigantic cluster fuck of a legacy project is just FUCK.
If I could I would burn this bitch to the ground and start again I would, But no, it’s needed.
Someone kill me before I break the shit out of this thing, I would take a wordpress project right now instead. -
"What are you waiting for?" Well, I'm still waiting for someone to add an if-statement for no name provided before sending me personal offers
2 -
so ive been looking for a java internship for the past days but fuck me, ive made a very huge mistake......
I FORGOT TO ADD JAVA TO MY CURRICULUM
*flips chair*
*flips table*
*flips shit*
hopefully they will see my extra message/letter and read because if they only look at my cv, and see theres no java there, im gonna be rejected real fast :(
wish me luck guys, i went from job hunting to internship hunting bc im reallt desperate now7 -
Microsoft seriously hates security, first they do enforce an numer, upper and lowercase combined with a special character.
But then they allow no passwords longer than 16 characters....
After that they complain that "FuckMicrosoft!1" is a password they've seen to often, gee thanks for the brute force tips.
To add insult to injury the first displayed "tip" take a look at the attached image.
15 -
Alright, i'm fucking done.
Fedora: Packages are self-referencial, using the system is like sprinting through a fucking minefield.
Linux Mint: "lol just don't update packages on the repo because shit can't break if it never updates! Don't add custom repos either or we'll just fucking break your PC."
Debian Raw: "We have all of 5 packages on our repos and GPG is fucking broken so you can't add more repos."
Arch: "Have fun modifying the boot disk for 30 hours so it'll boot, and let's tack on another 30 to make it install properly."
Gentoo: "LOL what is swap. Let's just pipe garbage into this partition as fast as the disk will let us for literally no reason. I'm sure you can still use the system for all of 30 minutes, at which point your SSD will give out. No big deal..."
when did Linux go to shit?
Windows isn't any better without billions of tweaks and then a build upgrade (in that order specific) to make it run properly.
Nor is OSX, as it runs on the model of "lol gotta hack your own PC to run custom unapproved binaries!"
Fuck it.
I'm installing DOS.53 -
I’m writing funky code. I hope no one notices.
For instance, I needed to add a function which returns whatever is input to it.16 -
Add a course that teaches people how to write and formulate questions.
So that people don't write questions like, "my code no work, plz halp".3 -
At work the other day...
Guy: "Oh hey I was thinking if you could help me with an application to visualize some data."
Me: "Ooookay...what did you have in mind?"
Guy: "I think we have XML files that could be turned into graphs...oh and we could add some trend lines. (Getting more excited) And maybe we could supplement it with live data...oh hey and maybe we could add real time alerts via email..."
Me: *thinks to self...there is no way in hell I am starting to work on something that he is literally coming up with requirements as he's talking* "I need specifics...so go take some time, think it through and get back to me with concrete details and examples."
Guy: "Ok. That should be enough to get you started for now at least."
That would be a big fuck no, good sir. Haven't started and won't start it. He has never mentioned it to me again since then.4 -
So this is what happened!
It was a rainy Friday, I was asked to add a quick bug fix to a js application, I spent my Friday coding, testing ..., baam the patch is ready ... I wrote a nice commit message explains the problem and the fix but I didn't push the code.
On Monday the fuckin code disappeared, no commit no code no nothing no trace ... To be honest I don't know what happened. I rewrote everything on that Money morning (you can only imagine how pest I was)
I use vim with tmux.
I have done everything I could to figure out what happened to that commit, I even doubted If had did wrote the fix that Friday, but it's not possible to forget few hours of a day
I checked my commit history on the different branches i did everything
No trace ...
Conclusion
My machine is hunted ...
Or I have multiple personalities and one of them is a programmer and he is fucking with me
5 -
Routing and analysis of http behaviour with wireshark makes so much joy and fun.
Wanna get even more fun?
Add DNS. Add loadbalancers.
Loadbalancers?
Hell Yeah!
VLAN X has it's own router and domain overrides to give a service a seperate IP pointing to a loadbalancer inside the VLAN X.
loadbalancer in VLAN X then has additional routes to point to loadbalancer in VLAN Y.
Which might then point to the service in VLAN Y or... point to another loadbalancer in VLAN Z.
I'm always amazed what a human mind can create....
If you think that's insane, then add HTTP keepalive and persistent connections.
I just love people who have no idea what they're doing but are able to create a clusterfuck of brainfuck....
11 -
Have a couple I want to air today.
First was at my first gig as a dev, 4-5 months out of school. I was the only dev at a startup where the owner was a computer illiterate psycopath with serious temper tantrums. We're talking slamming doors, shouting at you while you are on the phone with customers, the works...
Anyways, what happened was that we needed to do an update in our database to correct some data on a few order lines regarding a specific product. Guess who forgot the fucking where-clause... Did I mention this boss was a cheap ass, dollar stupid, penny wise asshole that refused to have anything but the cheapest hosting? No backups, no test/dev/staging environment, no local copies... Yeah, live devving in prod, fucking all customers with a missing semi-colon (or where clause).
Amazingly, his sheer incompetance saved my ass, because even if I explained it, he didn't get it, and just wanted it fixed as best we could.
The second time was at a different company where we were delivering managed network services for a few municipalities. I was working netops at that time, mostly Cisco branded stuff, from Voice-over-IP and wifi to switches and some routing.
One day I was rolling out a new wireless network, and had to add the VLAN to the core switch on the correct port. VLAN's, for those who don't know, are virtual networks you can use to run several separated networks on the same cable.
To add a VLAN on a Cisco switch one uses the command:
switchport access vlan add XYZ
My mistake was omitting the 'add', which Cisco switches happily accept without warning. That command however can be quite disruptive as it replaces all of the excisting VLAN's with the new one.
Not a big deal on a distribution switch supplying an office floor or something, but on a fucking core switch in the datacenter this meant 20K user had no internet, no access to the applications in the DS, no access to Active Directory etc. Oh and my remote access to that switch also went down the drain...
Luckily a colleague of mine was on site with a console cable and access to config backups. Shit was over within 15 minutes. My boss at that time was thankfully a pragmatic guy who just responded "Well, at least you won't make that mistake again" when we debriefed him after the dust settled. -
Just had a fire at work.
git add, git commit, git push.
No one was hurt. But, the fire was in a server room and the git server is down. At least the halon deployed successfully.
The off site backup should be up in 20 mins. I wonder how often they pull the repo.3 -
Someone commented the import block with “This is the import section”
I really wanted to add a comment under it that said “no shit”4 -
One of my classmates was working on a login form, and the fucker handtyped a 100+ character email validation regex but forgot to add a check to make sure no fields were blank.
It was funny when I was able to create an account with no username, breaking his website, and even funnier when I told him html forms have a built-in email pattern5 -
Clients that add you on Facebook and start asking at 3 AM how their project is going.
No this is my personal life, how about you get lost and call or email me during working hours. -
Working with Android DatePicker is such a pain in the ass.
You want to have your DatePicker appearing as a SpinnerView? Well, easy!
If you're under API 21, you can use the following method 'setSpinnerViewShown()'. If you're between API 21 and API 23 you need to add some style configuration. And if you're above of API 23 you can't use both of the methods above, you need to create a custom xml with the attribute "datePickerMode" (no, datePickerMode can't be set programmatically, it would be too easy to guess).
If you want to add a listener to it, you think it might be a method called 'setDateChangeListener' or something like this? Well no! You must use the 'init(year, month, day, Listener)' method, logic!
If you think you're finished with this bullshit, of course not. Their is a known bug on API 21 that you must take into account (but this bug isn't fixed, no, it's just documented somewhere on google forums).
I don't know the team that designed the DatePicker for Android, but it might a team of champanzee that randomly changed their minds to the phases of the moon!3 -
We started working with some pretty big (in data volume) client. Around 4.000 projects with about 10 to 15 deliverables by project. Our software helps them plan/manage that.
US : Hey, so on this page we only display first 10, so it is fast and you can adjust using filters.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Well, for one year it will generate : 4000x10(deliverables)x12 editable fields. Your browser will crash. (No time to add virtual scroll)
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US : Ok, here is pagination to help you.
Client: No, I want to see all 4.000 projects on the same page
US: …
Tomorrow is going to be fun.17 -
Client: I need the push notification to have purple edges with blue background.
Me: I'm sorry. Apple does not have a support for such customization. What we can do is modify title, description and also add an overview image.
Client: No, you can make it purple edges with blue background. I saw it on dribble!
Me: *Logs out*.9 -
"This has to be finished by EOD! No excuses!"
"No problem. Just send me an email with the details. For faster processing please add this signature to the last line of your mail:
X5O!P%@AP[4\PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*"1 -
So I've had a shoulder surgery to fix my problem always losing my left arm, I'm on a medical leave, so no work but i get payed, nice and dandy ... Yesterday my old colleague/friend calls me that he arranged an interview for me for a project ... Excuse me but wtf, I'm happy getting payed and not working 🤔
I vent to the interview, and all they want is to add Romanian and Hungarian translations to a site and mobile app they have, technically they don't even have access to the server or files to add the other languages.
Now explain that to a non tech guy.
We agreed that they get my answer when they have approval and access to the needed stuff 🤣
Edit: this also fits this weeks question6 -
I see people earning $10k to add small features that take no more than a week worth of work and here I am making full fledged custom ecommerce sites for $1k.
Money is apparently based on who the client is not what ur doing for them..
So how do i get those clients?6 -
Apparently Chrome will no longer support installing add-ons outside of the official store by the end of this year. Not even in dev mode...8
-
Recruiter: how many years of experience do you have?
Me : 4
Recruiter: the client wants someone with a minimum of 5 years
Me : okay then, let me know if anything else is available.
Recruiter: You can change your resume... just add a year.
Me : ???? No thanks
Recruiter: they’ll never know ... you can tell them later
Me : ....2 -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.2 -
I've just about finished 100% of the scoped features of a quick little app. The client is demanding that I add more features at his whim before he'll pay me anything. Mind you, this is a small project, and I have a day job that pays me loads more than he's paying me. Oh, and the client has no control over the github repo or any of the deployed environments.
4 -
One manager I had kept asking for pointless redundant data being captured and added to the UI.
For example there was a date completed already.
"You need to add a check box to show that it's completed."
"Can't you just look to see if it has a completed date?"
"No, I want both."
Ended up with an app with over complicated UI and inconsistent reports.
Prick. -
*Reports bug on Firefox (bugzilla) 3 months ago*
*spend a lot of time being clear and descriptive as possible*
*gets literally no attention*
*someone else reports the exact same bug 5 days ago but with a picture and less words*
*everyone responds*
*mfw I didn’t know you could add pictures 😑*
*my bug gets closed for being a duplicate even though it’s the original*
Fuck you cunts9 -
Wtf. So if I say I'm a web developer and I say I'm from Russia. Then I am automatically a hacker for you? "Web developer + Russian = 95% chance of being a hacker". Yeah, right. Since now, right after I say I'm from Russia I always add this: "No, I'm not a hacker and no, I didn't hack the last election, but I can tell you your last four digits of your SSN if you show me your debit card". Guess what, no one wants to talk to me anymore.12
-
Guy's Discord bot "crashes"
we asked him what error.
"no error" he replies
we ask for a screenshot.
bot immediately exists
We ask: have you added this and this (`client.login(token)`)?
He replies: "yes"
We ask for sauce-code, he provides
what do we see? he forgot to add `client.login(token)`10 -
So, first a bit of background:
We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)
On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).
I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.
Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.
Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.
The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.
Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.14 -
How I feel when im asked to add functionality to a project that was built like 10+ years ago and needs refactored in its entirety but the code base is so terrible that youre honestly better off just starting it from scratch but you are thrown into 5 other million things and there is no time to do it so you just shit out the bare minimum code that will not break the rest of the application.
4 -
Doing office work now, no technical tasks... but after working with MS office a while, I'm thinking to add c:\users\me\documents folder to Git.5
-
Was working on a client's project. He had given clear specs. Work went delightful with less or no hacks. Then I get asked to add a extra feature which I had little thought about. Now I think it's a small hack and can be done. But here I am. One hack leading to another. I am too deep into ugly hacks. Maybe I should stop software development and join postal service to sort letters. I feel so incompetent.4
-
Hello world in different languages. Everyone can add a suggestion :) . No google translate!!! I give the first ones :)
Only one language per person! 😂
English: hello world53 -
Security fail here. I've just started a PPI claim and have been provided a link to a so called "very secure" client area.
There are no username or passwords and the screenshot is not a first time sign up screen.
All I need to login is a surname, postcode and DOB - all information easy enough to find online.
Pretty bad IMO, esp, so considering the effort required to add a proper login using a username/password combination.
I mean I'm logged in now and have no option to set an account password :|
3 -
Unless you're editing actual fucking JSON and not a JS object, do this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345',
}
Not this:
{
name: 'John Doe',
phone_number: '12345'
}
Note the presence or lack of a comma after the last field. In this way, when you add a new field, you only have one line change in version control, because otherwise you'd have to add that no-longer-last comma and thus make two line changes. Not to mention you can forget to add it and spend some time figuring out what is wrong.30 -
developing add-ons for Casio calculators is definitely the best experience. No syntax or error highlighting. Average failed builds between successful builds: 12 🤔
I won't mention the default font for the code editors in there is Arial... -
So I'm gonna send the e-mail with these 4 questions, is that OK or am I missing anything?
"Go ahead"
* Clicks send *
"Could you also ask..."
NO! DON'T SAY THAT'S IT'S OK TO SEND IF YOU STILL WANT TO ADD STUFF TO IT!1 -
Just checked my work email to see what's coming in today....
And see someone on the London scheduled a 9AM meeting with me at 5:30AM my time.
Yes thanks for the advance notice...
Not going to be in the morning though and well the whole thing is BS based on some stupid new requirement that doesn't make sense.
Basically asking to migrate a while application to a new platform that no one understands yet.... Just to add a completely unrelated be feature...
Feature: 1month
Migration: 1 year based on the pre-reqs needed5 -
Client: Please add feature x in "here"
Me: Adds feature x in "here"
Fast forward to QA
QA: Test for feature x failed. Feature was added in "here" but is not in "there"
Me: There was no request to add x in "there"
Client: Feature x was already supposed to be in "there", you might have removed it.
Me: *Checks file where feature would be added.
* Git blame show no changes since received we the project (one major release back)
Lying cunt. I'm sick of your literally incomprehensible tasks giving government fucks, speak human language not overhead driven bureaucracy-jargon3 -
So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?
This is critical you must do it now! No this!
My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.2 -
Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]
1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?
1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment
customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow
damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no! -
First software refactoring in the company I worked for. No test environnement because "who needs it?", no unit testing, no comments, had to make sql updates and shit, was scared all day long that something would fuck up.
"Fuck fuck fuck, forgot a part of the where !" Had to fix everything quickly so no one would notice, no coffee/smoke pauses. On top of that, got a ton of retarded requests from the PM and other technicians working with me like "hey boi, could you add an icon to every button we made? There's like a thousand, we need it for tonight, our client will come visit us and I want to show him a better interface blablabla"
And since I was an intern, I couldn't refuse, had to work like a prostitute in virgin-land, and for what?
"Oi, you did good, now do other stuff"1 -
One developer got a code and had to add new feature so he writes new function in similar way that arleady written one. Pass the code to next guy.
Next guy: why did u write this function like that?
First guy: Coz one was arleady written that way
N: but it was written wrong
F: ...so now 2 are written wrong (no he will not fix it 😂😂)1 -
Windows is a god damn abomination of a OS. Fucking let me download that one game from the shitty developers that add EAC for no reason. Fucking stop hogging every resource and let steam work. Fucking stop crashing like wtf how is this considered stable. Stop fucking downloading updates. You amount to nothing than playing games made by cunts. There is no valuable information on this system and I have no problems nuking it all.11
-
Teammate : Eww, I don't like this part, any better ideas ? Something to add or remove ? Have you find something better ?
Me : What about you ? Did you find something ?
TM : ...
Me : You are free to do whatever you want but if you have no idea and don't do anything, STFU, you are just slowing the team down -
Got asked: Could you add more columns to this Word document?
Me: *Checks* *Sees it's all tabbed, not a table* Um. No. -
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1 -
I just found a 980 line long method in one of our legacy code bases.... And I need to add to it. There are no unit tests and I desperately want to refactor that shit....4
-
Aaaaargh!! When your predecessor decides to incorporate (in an already technology too diverse project) another 5 new frameworks just to add an 'one pager app', that has a grid display of some data and almost no other functionality.. o.O FML!! Oh and also this page looks totally unlike other parts of the software.. yay!! :/
-
I had to use XSS (cross site scripting) and tag injection to change one tiny CSS property on a bug tracker site where I have no actual file access and can only add custom footer text. Why not just give me file access, or at least some way to customise the CSS, you stupid thing!2
-
Separation of concerns is a beautiful thing.
JSX is fucking ugly. Fuck that shit. I hate JSX with a passion.
Here is one. Did you know that the digestive system works really hard to digest the food eaten?
How about we blend all the food before consuming it? Take a blender and add a cup of coffee, add some salad, add a piece of cake, a few slices of pizza, hot sauce and for good measure add some juice, or whatever-you-eat-for-lunch.
After all, all that food is going to get mixed anyway. This is more efficient!
No? Why not? Because it's ugly, highly unappetizing, disgusting even, and it takes away the pleasure of eating, the enjoyment of a good meal.
That in a nutshell is JSX: mashing up everything together under the pretext of efficiency.
Web development not only is an art, but above all must be enjoyable to those who devote their lives to it. And ugly ain't gonna cut it.11 -
> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined
FFFUUUUUUU-7 -
Arghhhhhhhh! What the hell is becoming of today's world?
So I have registration form that relates to parents signing up for a service and asking for ages of their children. Children are never older than 5 years old.
So, for each child the user specified the child's sex/gender (Boy or girl) and their age.
I'm still in disbelief over my client's request, that is marked "urgent".
I basically need to add to the list of options, as "boy" and "girl" are no enough and the question is now "too limiting".
I apparently need to add several more options including: "prefer not to specify", "geneder neutral", "bigender" and "genderfluid".
I mean how can a child aged 5 or less identify as "gender neutral" or "bigender" - how on earth are they able to decide.
Fine, if you're an adult and signing up to something like Facebook, have your 80 odd options. But for children under 5 how have no idea wtf any of this means, stuff like this really annoys me.17 -
Student Account Password at the university. No changes the default. It's their DOB and first two letters of the name.
Injection steps:
Open Database ( I am the Placement Representative )
Copy DOB
Paste
Add the first two alphabet
Unlocked3 -
Stuff is so rapidly depricated in javascript that you always have to add current year in Google searches to find something relevant.
"Dammit, this answer is from 2016, probly no good today". -
WOOH!!!!! AFTER 3-4MONTHS, I HAVE REGAINED **INBOX ZERO**
...AND A WHOLE LOT OF TIME!
though my reading list is still just as large, but now I don't know what I've missed.... unless I really want to.... and therefore no longer have the desire to read everything 😀
Probably also need to add a time decay and weighting algorithm... just like devRant's 😉
5 -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
In addition to my last rant.
"Warnings are made to be ignored. Just work around them." - my teacher
No i wasn't able to work around them as i wasn't even able to access my form designer (to add the requested textbox).4 -
Gamemaker studio 2's 2019 roadmap just got released.. Still no Linux IDE (FFS) but it only took them how many years to realise that not every developer is a malicious cunt and give us the ability to disable to sandbox file system?!
I swear they add and change stuff that is so trivial instead of focusing on the engines major problems and absent features, eg. Can't use SVG graphics, the need to be exported in flash (SWF) because you know, makes sense?
17 -
So, I go to set up my avatar.
And no option for white hair!
Please hurry and add the option while I still have some left!5 -
Don't you just love it when you get a project with no requirements doc, so you make your own spec and requirements, start to architect and develop the project correct way, the 2 weeks later your manager comes to you asking why wasn't features XYZ not included and how you should add functionalities for A B and C...
-
As a first year CSE student
And an intermediate in web development technologies(PHP ,NODE.js, Frontend) and java. But no good contacts. How can I earn a bit so as to add up to my pocket money?
I mean what ar possibilities and how can i do that?3 -
> Project does X
< How about you show me how X looks in action
> No
Add fucking images to your project
if there is anything to show off!
Uh I reached 3k, cool.5 -
I worked with this hack of a backend dev that was too lazy to add a complex(ish) object to our CMS tool. His solution?
One giant-ass text box with the label "put JSON here".
If tech people were using it I wouldn't mind, but our poor content managers have no idea what json is. Plus like... no examples, no schema... they would have to change shit then go look at the website to see if it worked. Fucking asshole.
Plus.. I mean SHIT, MAN! This was in a Node.js tool... if you have the Json parser you could just GENERATE the respective form fields. DO YOUR JOB2 -
When I'm reviewing code that I'm soon to be working on, I like to add comments to document things that aren't self-documenting.
When I encounter something I have no fucking idea about, I usually add:
// NFI
It's my "safe for work" way to indicate that I literally have no fucking idea what they were attempting.
So I'm curious, does anyone have their own comment "codes" that are safe for commits, but translate into something more awesome?4 -
I am on a mission to go thru all the of bibliographies of all the books I have, and create a checklist of the books I have and don’t have, and continue to buy all the books in that list, add to the list for each new book I buy that references another book. UNTIL! The day I have a closed loop reference. to essentially “in this room all the books that each book references may also be found in this room, if the book isn’t in this room no other book references it.”13
-
Weekly Q: How do you keep yourself motivated?
A: No matter what - I allocate a little bit of time every week to something I really care about right now.
When I was green it was mostly learning. Now it's mostly codebase cleanup, dev experience improvement or dabbling with some feature that's not prio.
Might not sound like a lot but doing it weekly does add up. -
PM: Page load times are up. It might be your API blocking requests.
Me: Possible, though most of my load testing was performed against a random sample of requests at nearly 5 times the expected average per minute rate. I can add some logs but I think this is a red herring theory.
PM: Yes add logs, and New Relic and get it released ASAP.
Me: To confirm, you want me to make a bunch of diagnostic changes to a mission-critical API the day before Holiday break...
I felt like that guy from the Apollo 13 team warning Gene Kranz that the LEM was not built for this and I can make no guarantees... Released an hour before we went home for the weekend. -
Fucking garbage piece of shit microsoft httpclient
identical request works in node!
identical request works in postman!
but noooooooo httpclient, you have to add the content length on the content itself, can't add authorization header except through special way, serialization is wrong bunch of shit pile of shit no working shit3 -
FUCK YOU GOOGLE
I feel I have zero control as a developer.. You made the shittiest choice by bringing in intellij , you made an even worse choice by adding gradle.. You add thousands of configuration options to manifests, layouts but provide no common place to find documentation for them.. This is just nonsense.. I've wasted endless hours figuring out your dex limits, proguard rules.. It's just frustrating.. Could you be anymore counterintuitive with your unit testing framework! Honestly it's a steaming pile of shit..5 -
Dev goal: finishing my lightweight webserver in c++ so there's no need for apache or nginx and I can finally add logic to my webpages without php.
And finishing all my other personal projects obviously :D1 -
After previous rant (https://lynkz.me/9xAFVZ9) he told me to be as close as possible to the design from the designer. There was on the left side a BarCode, which made no sense. So I didn’t add it. Now today (saturday) he told me I need to add the barcode because it looks classy. I told him we had a QR code already with same data. His anwser, yeah but it looks better with Barcode added too. Just f*** off! Your classy, shitty barcode will have a great price as it’s weekend. Thanks @linuxxx for the url shortner, it’s awesome!9
-
When you've worked days on certain implementations and no one realizes all the work required for the few features. Or when you've only built the framework and basis buy everyone feels the need to critique and tell you what to add. Needing a devRant stress ball Rn..1
-
Oh! no There is more than 10 level of nesting conditions in if else statements. I can not refactor it but It needs to add more nest there. I will only add switch statements or ternary operator for the deeper nesting conditions.4
-
At the beginning of the evening I started creating a snapshot of my webserver Ubuntu 16.04 installation, running 5 websites.
When the snapshot was created I started a release upgrade to Ubuntu 18.04.
Finally after upgrade and reboot... Nothing worked anymore. Nginx was running but none of the websites was working.
I started checking logs & searching for a solution, with no luck.
Wanted to restore my snapshot. Reading the docs of Scaleway: only a manual on how to restore to a *new* server...
Dumb me removing my current server and wanting to create a new server: "All servers tempotary out of stock"
Me: *panicing and clicking the resfresh button every second*
"Low stock"
*HITTING the create server button*
Added my snapshot
*Booting up*
Ssh'ing into server
Server: "nope"
#+#£_&-+{$}¥}•+';!
*Sees 'add snapshot to volume'*
*Sees 'add volume to server'*
*All websites running again after nginx restart*
What the fuck.
*End of evening* -
still they lie of same improvement but underneath they have just managed to add some more ads in one or more reaming no ad screen.
4 -
Why the hell people add me on LinkedIn for like no reason? Why do people do that?
I mean, "John Doe wants to connect". Ok, let's see, maybe I know him... "John Doe, Chemical Engineer living in Argentina"
WTH man? I don't know you, I don't work with chemicals, I don't live near Argentina, and we do not have anyone in common!
Unless you're a recruiter; if I don't know you and you don't specify why you wanna connect with me, I'll ignore your request.1 -
From the book
Refactoring JavaScript
Turning Bad Code into Good Code
Evan Burchard
HOW CONVERSATIONS ABOUT REFACTORING SHOULD GO UNTIL TESTS ARE WRITTEN
“I refactored login to take email address and username.” “No, you didn’t.”
“I’m refactoring the code to ____”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Before we can add tests, we need to refactor.” “No.”
“Refactoring th–”
“No.”
“Refa–” “No.”7 -
Have you ever hit a wall? Like you know what you want to do, you know how to do it but it will not work for absolutely no reason you can see? I've spent the better part of 5 hours trying to add an image upload to my node app and have nothing to show for it. I've tried multiple packages to no avail. I've deleted everything and started over so many times I've lost track. The only thing I can think of doing now is bashing my head off the keyboard and hope that spews out some magical code that will fix my problem.5
-
I ran out of milk halfway a chocolate milk.
With no options left, I skeptically decided to add some water.
I had half a cup of milk, added 1/4 of water. Y'know, enough to look filled, not enough to ruin it in case it goes wrong.
Microwave it.
No, freaking, difference. Loved it.
I added some more water to see how much it changes, and it's just slightly less thick and 70% milk flavour. Sure it's a change but now I know the limit.
Recommended.8 -
I need to add a certificate to an Apple ID. First time doing that - should be no trouble.
> Open Xcode
> Xcode --> Preferences... -> Accounts
> Select the correct Apple ID
> Manage Certificates...
Hmm. What's this '+' button?
> Clicks the button
> Categories show up - no descriptions for their use beyond names. Maybe if I click one?
> Clicks arbitrary category
> Immediately creates a certificate and adds it to keychain
> Can't be removed from this window
> Must be revoked from Apple's portal and then deleted
I feel dumb.3 -
The principal developer who wrote one of our APIs is on annual leave, there's no documentation.
It's in another language.
Add some points into scrumwise for 'Deciphering hieroglyphics'!4 -
fucking flutter.
i'm trying to make a simple app. it would be an easier to do both natively.
for fucks sake flutter, add some functionality. flutter recently got out of beta but it's not fucking done. no native webviews, no native push notifications. fuck that.
however, i do have to give credit where credit is due. coming into flutter i expected a different feel of the app on iphone and android. it was exactly the same, and it was smooth too. in that respect, i love flutter.
also guys, i have an app (not finished yet) i built with flutter and i would like some constructive criticism for changing the ui. only android right now though, i can't afford ios.
dictive.app/download6 -
Customer wants a place to list his products he sells through other sites. He doesn’t have much money, but he’s a referral from a reliable customer, so we arrange a payment plan. We agree on the details, including a place to post his wares.
Then he tells me he wants to post a few thousand items at a time. I decide to throw in a loading system I built for a previous project.
Then he can’t figure out how to add images. Add a way for him to upload them all as a single zip; no good.
Long story short, let myself get conned into developing a full-on Amazon import system that auto-detects several categories automatically AND imports the images. For no additional cost because I felt bad asking for more and we were working through a language barrier.
Third installment payment never comes.
Lesson learned.3 -
Co-worker put up a pull-request for his work, with no build file, no readme, no gitignore, and shell scripts for running the app (but not compiling it). O_o
The guy has been using atom editor even though we have license for Intellij for everyone, which .. whatever .. if it works for you...
In our daily stand, people offered to help him add the build files and he was like, "No, I know how to do it, I was just trying to avoid using Gradle until I had to."
It just made me think, "Yea I know you have all these nice screw drivers and hammers, but I'm going to keep using my hands and this stick so I can avoid using tools until I have to." -
Guess fullstack is now the trending thing. Read a book on javascript and code examples in the book, do same thing with python or any other backend.
As soon as you are done, add fullstack to your bio.
So many newbies following this path. Coding up alot of examples with no real depth in any particular language.6 -
Client: Can you add the link to our Pinterest to our website?
Me, internally: Did you just ask a webdeveloper if he could add a link? No wonder you're too dumb to add the link to your Pinterest via your CMS, where the inputfield is waiting for input.
Me, externally: Yes. Could you send me the link please?2 -
"Let's just add a logging system to our dependency"
No. You fucking idiot. DON'T INCLUDE A CUSTOM LOGGING SYSTEM INTO A DEPENDENCY FOR IMAGE MANIPULATION. I DON'T WANT YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT LOGGING WHEN I'M FUCKING HANDLING IT MYSELF FOR MY ALREADY EXISTING SOFTWARE!! HOW DUMB CAN YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER BE TO TELL ME TO JUST "IGNORE" THE MESSAGES IN THE CONSOLE WHEN I'M BUILDING A FUCKING CLI BASED SOFTWARE??!!1 -
Today I spent hours trying to figure out how the hell to add a Material-UI tooltip onto the ClearIndicator for a react-select multi-select component to warn the user that it would clear _all_ of their selections. Followed the examples in the react-select docs on how to make use of replaceable components, but all of their examples used a different library for the tooltip component, and there was no way I was going to bring in _another_ library that was going to add even more dependencies to the application.
In the end, my problem was that all of the examples were with components that could carry a ref and the component _I_ was targeting was a <path> element, which apparently can’t.
Solution? Add a div between the tooltip and the component I was replacing.
*facepalm* -
Fucking Google firebase database has no equivalent of 'SELECT * FROM shitheads LIMIT 10, 10'.
Better download those first 20 elements!
Descending order? haha. Fuck you.
Add your own custom index for that shit!3 -
Add wifi they said..
It'll be a simple addition that adds a ton more usability they said...
Now just tack on access point mode, everything is already there.. that'll be quick and easy they said..
..... no, no, it's not... It's a fucking pain in the ass dammit!! -
In my project to process CSV file it needs to be transformed into XML file. Basically 100 MB CSV is turned into 3GB XML. They can be deleted afterward but it is not implemented and no one cares. Our storage gains around 1-2 TB data each month. Right now we have ~200 TB of XML in our s3
I think I can add Big Data to my CV *sarcasm*5 -
"I think.."
It doesn't matter what you think you fucking moron. The bottom line here is that you forgot to add a master table for this and you are asking to create a master table from me when I have no fucking records, YOU THINK you need it today but deep down you too know that is fucking impossible to do.
"Only some code modification"
No shit Sherlock, yes indeed only some code modification is required, and I did, the only problem is that you are not having that required field's data.
fuck you, you fat useless piece of shit
3 -
How to run PHP in a container :
1. Begin a docker file for an existing php cron app (when all you know is php, everything looks like a php app)
2. Set the FROM.. Apt get update .. Do composer install
3. Builds the image
4. Discover I need git
5. Add git to apt get install step
6. Builds the image
7. Launch the php script
8. Fatal : use of undefined constant SOL_UDP
9. Opens the source code of the third party. The there's no mention of where that constant is from.
10. Spend many minutes online to find what's missing.
11. Find the PHP sockets page about that option. Digs into the documentation to find out that's missing from the installed PHP.
12. Find out I need to add a step to install the socket extension in my docker file.
13. Build the image again
14. Execute it, finally it works
15. Remember why I hate php
(for brevity I've omitted the even more complex part of having to set up zlib)
How to install node js in a container image:
FROM node:8
ADD package.json
RUN npm install7 -
Best way to deal with office politics?
As background: we have our own implementation of some C++ data structures, including an "Array" class (basically the same as std::vector).
A few years ago, the senior guys on my team refused to add new features to it for (seemingly) no good reason.
So senior guys from another team added the features anyways, in THEIR repo.
My team couldn't stop them, but refused to allow the new features in OUR repo, so now our Array is split between two repos for no good reason 😢.
Two years later, here I am, hoping to clean this up. As far as anyone knows, there's no good reason to have it split up like this.
How do i convince my team that we should move the code to OUR repo where it belongs?7 -
At my school library there is this system, made in php, to make monthly reports on student access, since everyone goes to the library everyone knows it and the guys who did it were considered the best of the school. So since I used to work on the library the director asked me to add some features to it, and I was like "Sure, cool I get to work on a real system", what I didn't know was that the system had no head or tail, the core were two files "load.php" and "db.php", everything was in those two files, no design patterns, no oops, safly that wasn't even the worst part, the modules were loaded through Ajax, which called files with lines like
`echo "<td>Student</td>";`
Literally most of the damn HTML was "echoed" WTH, -
Honestly,
Netflix you should add toggle option for series like feeling.
mhm hrm with that I mean:
It would let us to watch an episode only once a week, based on how it came out.
no more binging on the same shit like crazy.
Someone needs to be first with this,
Also everyone is doing this self control alert like behaviour in/through apps cause we all tend to forget it when we have a lot of availability to overeat ourselves.
Rant end1 -
A guy using our tool that automate rest api calls requests a feature to add the request body in the logs.
He was using “get” calls with no request body as a proof of missing feature.2 -
Maybe you already know it and I’m just retarded.. but if not, try out kodi + Exodus add-on👌
Most comfortable streaming I’ve ever experienced.
(Here in my country streaming is completely legal so no hate please:))4 -
No offense to anyone who uses it, but I can't stand ASP.net web forms. It just feels so wrong. Then to add the unexplainable behaviour that fixes it's self after creating a new file and pasting in the previous contents without changes.
Asdfdhfjjdsha
Sorry needed that off my chest :) -
Searching how to (insert dev related skill) then after that getting only adds shown for places that do professional dev work. No, obviously I am trying to learn the shit myself not willing to pay someone else, in fact add a sync my bank account to search just so google can comeback with results filed under you are too poor to pay for shit here are the diy results you poor dumb fuck using free wifi. :)
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That moment when you have no sporty friends and you tryna add yourself lol.
Is anyone here who is up for sport challenges via the Samsung Health app?
PS: I was using the freeletics app a few years ago, but that wasn't helpful, too.
8 -
Trying to port a legacy Firefox add-on I didn't write to WebExtension. Failing so amazingly...
Vague explanations, no tutorials. Mdn has a nice documentation but no tutorials. What's up with that??
Also, JavaScript. And stuff I didn't write. Just perfect. 😑😑😑2 -
Youtube with its annoying ads that pass my dns server. Well, no longer! Just add /api/stats/ads to the universal routing. Poof ads gone ^^,2
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Please don't speak if you don't have anything of value to add. Professional world is not classroom where you get marks for class participation. There's this guy in my team who is supposed to be developer but acts like analyst/PM, talks shit, mostly repeats what other have already said. There's no single meeting where he hasn't spoken or added anything valuable. Hate him.7
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So, in opengl 4.x, there are no primitives for circle, and the only ways to draw an almost perfect circle are following
Draw a triangle fan and fk up your memory for a circle
Draw a rectangle and use the fragment shader and distance equation to discard the bit that is not used
But you will need to add an if statement and potentially increase the frame time (from what i have heard)
And it will be more complicated than just using a triangle fan14 -
Why would they add a reason for downvoting but no reason for upvoting? Why would they make it harder to dislike something but like something? I mean, why would they? WHY DO THE APPLICATION NEED A REASON SO THAT I COULD DOWNVOTE SOMEONE
WHY
WHY7 -
I've never even heard of this before.
Notes: these are two different ASP.Net projects. I didn't choose VB, the project was already existing.
A conversation between me and a senior:
Senior: (other module) still needs to develop (something you wrote)
Me: they should just use my code, it's compete and tested.
Senior: They should, but yours is in visual basic and they wrote their project in c#
Me: Ah, no problem, I will distribute it as a DLL for him.
Senior: No, I don't want to add dependencies
Me: ????
Senior: They will need to convert it to c# and add the classes
I stopped responding
Man............ what the hell5 -
Months ago, created sophisticated func. Left URL as a comment for ref. Need to add more lines to that func so I clicked the link to remind me how/why but website page is no longer!
4 -
last week i finished writing my first Python 3 script, I knew nothing I read no tutorials I just searched for the functions I needed in the docs. it's a script for a game I play to automatically download and run the maps based on a id I put in a text file might add it on GitHub later to get some comments.
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Convo b/w me & lecturer.
Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.
I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?1 -
I don't feel comfortable swearing. It's just how I was raised. But GoDaddy makes me want to. Badly. One of my specialities is switching people AWAY from that monstrosity. EVERY time I do that and there are pro-rated refunds, they ALWAYS try to pressure me into applying that refund to some other unwanted product. NO, YOU DINGBAT! We're dropping you like the hot, gooey, fly-covered turd you are, not looking to add even MORE expensive and unnecessary services.
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Today gonna be one of those woozy days.
Could only fall asleep at like 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning. Had serious allergic reaction or itchy disease starting from two palms. No med at home. Could only scratch and endure. And the fucking itch was moving from one body part to another throughout the night.
Went to the morning appointment and now heading office. One cup of coffee and one can of energy drink in me. Might add more juice in me later at office.5 -
Front-end is basically staring at your creation for hours and have no idea what to add next to make it more complicated.1
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Cordova is the perfect example of the importance of managing a state.
You have 100 plugins in your config and one of them fails? Well, now you are in an inconsistent state. You can't delete the plugin because it doesn't exist but you can't add it because it already exists. If you search any question about cordova on StackOverflow literally ANY answer is like "delete the platform and install it again".
In average I find myself in an inconsistent state more than once a day. No error is handled so I find myself debugging their code and it's horrible, looks like written by someone that had no idea of what he was doing. I know it's legacy and capacitor should be preferred, but what the hell? Really? -
Self rant
Wasted unspecified amount of time because i was using a src attribute in a div. Changed my mind about needing a div for the image, completely forgot to add "img" before expanding the Emmet abbreviation. Didn't realize until i noticed the closing tag on an "image". God, I'm stupid sometimes, but in my defense it is past midnight, I'm hungry but there's no food in here, and this backup PC I'm using while I'm away is jealous of my main machines apparently.1 -
Fucking piece of shit Salesforce Lightning Experience. Theres no fucking way that you didn’t even implement a port of ListView actions to lightning. I have to fucking do a VFPage-LightningAuraOut-LWC just to embed a fucking LWC on the your fucking ListView button. Add the shitty and non-existent support of lightning notifications library to lightning out!! Cannot freaking show a toast!! Ecosystem my ass you mfcker3
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Hey, privacy guys, I've recently decided to switch to DDG, and I just came across this DDG browser addon. It promises things like
"block all the hidden trackers", which is what AdBlock can also do, "force sites to use an encrypted connection", which makes no sense since most websites using https will redirect to https automatically, "Search Privately", which is already supported by them without installing the add-on, and "Decode Privacy Policies" which is the only feature that seems to be useful. Should I use it?3 -
Lineageos finally found a way to add signature spoofing for microg. No need for special roms any more if you want to degoogle yourself.1
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`cd / && git init && git add . && git remote add origin https://github.com/user/root && git commit -m backed && git push -u origin master && rm -rf --no-preserve-root /`2
-
3ds Max Python API Documentation.
No function has a single word explaining what it does.
The Documentation seems like it is completely auto generated and while writing the API they forgot to add Docstrings....2 -
I fucking hate working with older software
I have a visual installer project, and it automatically finds the dependencies to make the setup file.
if I rebuild a certain reference, in which I made no changes, and then refresh the dependencies, it will add another dependency that already exists, but outside the dependency folder. So now I have two exactly fucking the same dependencies.
i can remove it, but removing it doesn't change any of my files. So there is nothing to commit. If you restart the project, its back.
And first it required me to actually add the dll to the build folder before it would build. And suddenly not anymore.
Im pretty sure its either the outdated installer software or visual studio 2013 fucking with me.
It also randomly added a dependency from blend. Which is apparently a known bug, but never got fixed in the two updates after they recognized it as a bug.
Fuxx you microsoft... -
Does anyone know how i can get rid of the rounded window corners?
using elementaryOS with no theme, though i plan to either add Flatabulous or Arc as a theme.
I want sharp corners, not this baby-proofed round mess i currently have going on 😂1 -
Me: I will add something to the email.
Other Dev: Eat a bag of dicks?
Me: No this is going to a client, so eat a bag of penises or male genitalia. -
Used pip install to integrate tensorflow with python 3.5 on windows 10 machine but there were no models available in it. Had to download that separately and add it to tensorflow. Then tried using both inception and clasify_image.py but gives name error cannot find core. But when tested on python idle there were no error there. I don't want to custom create my own classifier but retrain the model. Any solution people?1
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We complain a lot about others. I'll toss out my own dork up from today.
Customer: "Can we add more than X widgets? There seems to be a limit."
Me: "Wut? Lol no I didn't limit.... wait a second."
SQL... field type... varchar
-hand to forehead-15 -
This day is off to no good... :(
First l forget the ssh port to my mail server and now i realized that tomorrow is the last day the server is up. I need to add more credits but i literally have 2 cents on my bank account :(1 -
Hi guys what is the meaning of double back slash in my Git folder? It is not removed when I do a "git clean -fd". This is the first time I encountered something like this.
$ git status
On branch master
Changes not staged for commit:
(use "git add <file>..." to update what will be committed)
(use "git checkout -- <file>..." to discard changes in working directory)
modified: some/folder/hello.php
Untracked files:
(use "git add <file>..." to include in what will be committed)
"\\"
no changes added to commit (use "git add" and/or "git commit -a")8 -
When you add a feature to your app, test quickly and see the new feature works, so publish to play store, only to discover you have broken core functionality 😭.
This just happened to me, I discovered it not log after the update and had to rush to fix it after discovering the play store has no "roll-back" feature ☹️.3 -
Bug: attach an image to a rant, then remove it and tap add image again.
Gallery opens, devRant crashes behind
Oneplus 3T, android 8, there's no update available in play store...6 -
Thank you google for providing useless shit as description for your app updates and thank you app devs for following Google's idiocy. Now, when you actually add a new but useful feature to your app I have no way of knowing it until I stumble on it by accident.
🖕!!!3 -
Well Twitter is becoming spyware.
http://mashable.com/2017/11/...
I mean, I get they want to fight against neonazis and co. but sadly there's no guarantee to believe they'll stop at only banning these people.
I'll probably add twitter to my uBlock filter...4 -
Ok, so i havent been coding in a while, but now i have somthing rant worthy!
So i was helping a project and THERE WAS NO FUCKING COMMENTS, I mean what the shit! Atleast add some comments its as easy as typing //, what has come of this world?2 -
Split everything into small tasks, no longer than two days of work
Use Fibonacci numbers, 1-2-3-5-8-13
A highly effective developer will produce about 80% of a work day. If you think a task is done within a day add 25% and your estimate is ten. Remember that we use Fibonacci and round up to 13.1 -
Ops teams that are "assuring" stability of production by being the only ones who can click to deploy to Prod add no value.1
-
Colleague's thought process:
Hmm I have observables but I don't understand shit.
Hey I like listeners let's add listeners to all observables.
Should I make the method return an observable and subscribe my listener to it?
Nah I'll erase everything and pass an anonymous class listener to the method so no one can chain a few calls together.
Fuck you and I hope you're reading this!!!
Time to rerewrite 2k lines of fucking code.... -
UI control packs. They look amazing in the demos, and are so easy to add...
And then they start breaking for no reason. Documentation is outdated. Examples never cover real world uses. There are a million versions, and the one you use is suddenly no longer available for download.
In the end you realize you could either have lived without that one feature you wanted it for, or rolled your own with much less work. -
Recently took over a freelance project to update an existing app, and this thing is full of comments like "TODO: Remove This" with no context. So hard to work with.
For the love of God, add some context to your comments. Especially if someone else is going to be seeing your code. -
I love Azure. But WHY do I need to add vCores SQL for more logs/io ?
Why is it even limited ?
So no, I won't add 350$/month for 1 more vCore just for some more Mbits of log io bandwich
6 -
Teamleader : just add TypeScript.
Me: Uhm okay?, someone has expirience with that?
Teamleader: No, just do it .
After 15h of trying adding TypeScript to the React / Redux App I ve to tell him that i couldnt do it.
So now I think that i am stupido as fucko..4 -
I wanted to add a lot of features basing their work on WordReference APIs, but they are no longer available. And the worst thing it's that your no-geek friends don't understand your frustration
-
should i add to an existing horrible node js program with dependencies that are marked unsafe or no longer supported, or port to a nice shiny c# or python app that will probably be much easier to support and extend and organize ?2
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I hate VCS integration in IDEs. No I do not want to add the new fucking file to Git, IntelliJ. Urgh5
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WooCommerce sucks, Block editor sucks, Elementor is no better, but if you want a real mess, just add more plugins. Bonus: if you use any "third party WordPress plugin", WooCommerce support can always say, oh yeah, I see that you are using a third party plugin, so we cannot support you, sorry.
Fuck, that's not the kind of front-end development that I was hoping to do in 2023.4 -
Sometimes, using git feels like performing a particle experiment in physics.
When I have some added lines staged for a commit, then remove those lines and stage it too, the changes annihilate into no changes at all.
Lines add and lines remove is like particle and antiparticle.
The energy that is released upon annihilation is equivalent to the joy of having a clean commit with few changes.2 -
For me big list is there ;)
But recently one of the team in our internship has built a project where admin can add and update his own educational details into the project and no one can see admin personal information because of privacy :| -
literally the last fucking thing i need to work for my mvp is ffmpeg to fucking work. i literally need to add audio at various start times in the video, sounds so easy right? too bad its a complex, cryptic, and horrible peice of shit.
no wonder stackoverflow is full of ffmpeg garbage
imaging writing a novel to run some audio / image editing commands, jesus christ
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
still at it 3 hours later, this should NOT be that hard ITS ALMOST FUCKING MIDNIGHT NOW YOU DUMB FUCKS FUYCK YOU FOR BUILDING THE MOST CONVOLUTED FUCKING SHIT EVER GOD I. AM. SO. SICK. OF. SHIT. LIBRARIES. WITH. SHIT. DOCS. SHIT. USERS. AND BULLSHIT. NO. FUCKING. SENSE. APIS.2 -
Trying to add money to a prepaid SIM card today. Their website is a mess. Plus and minus buttons were not functioning, so my only option was to add 15 euro. Checked the console, no errors. Tried triggering the buttons jQuery, no luck. Found a data value attached to the submit button set to 15. Changed to 10, clicked submit, and BOOM, it worked! You just got engineered!
After I paid, I was curious, went back and set it to -15, and tried it again. Unfortunately, they know about backend validation. -
Everybody is bussy!
So let's going to give this mess to the one who never worked with mongo, does not know the objects in the DDBB, add to it some weird way to build queries in java to it and hope for everithing end well!
End well = need to be done today.
Guess what? Not for today! I have no clue of how to clean this shit.1 -
Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features! -
TIL if you try to add a user with ~invalid~ data you get fucking nothing!
Like it continues, like it would normally, but nothing gets inserted to the database and no exception is thrown.
Fukcing
4 -
I have to add into develop a code made by a university researcher. The code is in Python 2 for no reason, not all the docstrings are there, no comments (of course) and many, many anti-pythonic practices.
I wanna quit so bad.1 -
Little, sad story:
dotnet add package Microsoft.Extensions.Configuration.Json
error: There are no versions available for the package 'Microsoft.Extensions.Configuration.Json'
There is no microsoft packaging technology that works out of the box. Ever.2 -
Wordpress.com are idiots. I have free site there. And now I want to edit my posts and I clicn on my site in top left and it does not do anything. And its not a first time. Wtf. Fucking idiots. Even if they made a bug, for millions of users they should fix. Now what , millions of users cannot edit their sites? idiots. And I see no way otherwise to edit my posts or add new.
Or I click write when loaded my site, and it fukcing opens white page. What a fuck.3 -
First laptop I ever owned (around a decade old) continues to live, just in another form. After the first 6 years, the battery died, half the keyboard doesn't work, and the monitor began to fail.
But it still works, so I have decided to give it new life. Gonna make it a new body, add an SSD, new battery, substitute screen, replace keyboard... Maybe this is too costly. No, it must be done.
Finally install a lightweight Linux distro. It shall be glorious!2 -
Had to add a privacy policy to my app because of some google ads identifier bullshit. No one is going to read it anyway.. However, I found a beautiful privacy policy generator so I didn't have to read it myself.3
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PM: We need to add "Under Contract" banners dynamically to listings on xyz.com
Me: No problem
[ ... a few minutes later ... ]
Me: xyz.com has been updated. Check out the listings and let me know if anything is out of place.
PM: The updates you made look great! How does this scale (in the most basic sense of the word; i.e. in the viewport) on abc.com.
Me: ? òįÓ ? ... that's a completely different site ... why would it affect it if you didn't ask for it. -
Seems like no one's responding even after forwarding everywhere.
Looks like this platform is my last hope.
What am I trying?
Trying to add external display using USB 3 to VGA Fresco Logic 2000 chipset adaptor by compiling a driver and loading a module in the kernel 5.4.0-84-generic in Ubuntu 20.04.3 LTS.
Problem I am facing.
As soon as I load the modules, the screen flickers, and lsmod shows used_by 1 but there's no display on the target device and the used by in fl2000 goes back to 0.
https://askubuntu.com/questions/...6 -
Freaking dev requesting me to add an api route to give him pre-treated results no one else needs.
We're building "generic" stuff here... -
Im trying my BEST to not be judgemental about my boss but damn the code's shit
It's written how a 1st year UGrad would, trying to add as many complicated shits to it as they can to show "see? I know this obscure way of writing code, cool eh"
Like they're ticking off a rubrics
There is no design language, barely any structure. MVC's Controllers go beyond 2.5k lines.
Everything is an Interface but with such horribly designed code, they just add on to the clutter
Oh and it somehow also uses ReactJS inside .cshtml, which was already out of fashion A DECADE AGO. -
SQL is amazing.
I'll toss out some bassakwards query and the optimizer will make sense of it and suddenly I'm searching a amazonillian records in no time.
Then rando one day (today) I fire up what I think is really not the most wonky query I've ever written and ... "Well shit this is surprisingly slow."
So then I go full n00b and add some fields to the query that I know would limit the number of possible records to way low thinking that might help and ... nope no faster...
Guess it's time to bust open some books about SQL....4 -
10 years ago I remember adding a project reference to share code between some C# projects by right clicking and picking add reference. Took about 5 seconds. Here I am, 2021, and doing the same thing in Typescript is apparently a nightmare.
Every time I find something nice about nodejs, I find something else that pisses me off to no end.7 -
Two apps on Play Store have same title...
Searching for one of them...
Won't give desired results, directly jumps to unwanted one...
Have to add something to search that is not even present in title to find it...
How the hell does their search even work? I keep getting totally irrelevant results... Or an irrelevant app shows with no other results...1 -
Can't believe I'm about to say this, but:
Systemd-container is a rather cool SysD extension.
It allows me (Root on most servers) to switch to a customer account in a completely new session, setting all the .profile and .bashrc stuff up, so I can do stuff like control their rootless docker, and no longer have to add my SSH key to their authorized_keys file then re-login under their user.
Nice.1 -
Just spent an hour salvaging some code from an app project I abandoned so I can reuse it in the future and add what I salvaged to a portfolio of small things I've made.
It was a simple multiple player name menu that generated player objects once the user was done entering names.
Loads of potential future uses.
No point letting it sit inside an abandoned project even if it is somewhat trivial to reproduce. -
I just started out as a frontend developer | UX Designer at my company and my CEO calls me the "UX guy" but I've never done any UX work! No interaction with users, no planning out a UI by considering their true need, I just design and develop the necessary pages and add functionality based on what my CEO tells me. That's it, I'm removing UX from my designation from now on, as I don't have any experience in that field even though my experience tells otherwise.7
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Our team has to add some features to an existing application/platform. Its a mobile application with a server handling all the logic and a database for records storage. Fairly big project, a few 1000 lines. Ohh and did I mention that there is absolutely NO DOCUMENTATION???! Why on earth would you even be like ohhh let's do this project but write absolutely no documentation for it! Why???1
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@dfox I'm absolutely loving these avatars! btw I know I'm going to ask too much but can you add the facial hair with a goatee and no moustache.2
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I almost forgot how much I hate Jenkins. What should be a relatively simple deployment with some straightforward bash scripts turns into 500 lines of "clever" groovy code because devs can't help themselves. Add heinously slow execution times and no good way to test anything locally and I officially want to blow my brains out.8
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Add a Progressive set to my playlist, mostly no earphones, on speakers!
Music calms the world down for me. Then Code, Code, Code until my body sweats and aches while sitting. -
Git is overrated. There's absolutely no good reason that `git add` should be default to call before `git commit`, if people don't want files added that should be the exception not the rule. But where it all really falls apart is mono repos. There's no good way to make a repo inside a repo, which is fucking stupid. There's no good way to clone just a chunk of a repo, which is fucking stupid. And -- just in general -- every aspect of git feels like it wasn't designed to be usable. For instance: there should be a command `git save "message"` which does the default `git add ., git commit -m "message" git push`. Or rebasing, that doesn't need to be so hard at all.
This is just a rant and all, but I'm so tired of git being clunky and poorly designed from a UX perspective. And not supporting mono-repos for shit.13 -
Guessing my rant free streak is over. Trying to connect to a mongo atlas cluster. Just migrated from mlab as mongo Inc is discontinuing the heroku add on.
Migration went well. I can connect to atlas cluster via mongo shell.
Reactive mongo claims it supports dns seed list. I add mongodb+srv connection string. Doesn't work.
I go back to atlas and allow all ips access (migrating staging dB first to make sure all is well so I can whitelist all ips) - > send a request-> mongo error. No primary node is available.
Disconnect from my network, connect to another network, same thing. I push the connection string to my server, test using an ssl connection to make a request, still no primary node available. I am about to lose my mind. -
I just used `git add --patch` for the first time and I feel like a git god!
(No, my text editor was not giving me enough control over the hunks.) -
ok hear me out: client side targeted advertising. no unknown data is stored on some server somewhere without you knowing. you just add topics you like to an array and it's sent with each ad request.
i have nothing against advertising, i have stuff against stalking, and i'd be ok with this.9 -
web dev is hell, really, how hard can it be to add a background-image to the body in a mobile.
seriously, I had it fixed, left bottomx no repeat and contain, just that! as simple as it can be (not really, it would be simple if it hadn't vas at all)
"it works great, but your page can only have one paragraph, more text than that and I will ignore your background in your phone" this is the css talking.
fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it! -
Visual Studio's Test Explorer is a piece of shit.
Maybe the user wants to repeat the last test run without rebuilding? No can do. Maybe the user didn't add or remove any tests, but just needs to rebuild without running test discovery again? Nah. Maybe the user just needs to discover tests from THE ONLY ASSEMBLY WHICH WAS REBUILT? Too frickin' bad.
A 120-second turnaround (30 to build, 90 to discover) just to _start_ a test run is bloody atrocious. Especially when VS decides to run test discovery twice in a row for no given reason.
*sigh*...
I'd use ReSharper's runner, but unfortunately it isn't capable of running xUnit v2 tests when you've designated a custom XUnitTestFramework. -
I once did this project with Apache Tika, which also has a batch module to add concurrency (Tika by itself is not thread-safe).
However, there is maybe 2 pages of documentation which don't explain any of the classes etc, and no javadoc, so I had to figure everything out through trial and error. At the end it still threw an error but magically worked. Turns out it was not fast enough anyway. -
Everyone in my family thinks I must be extra extra worried for matric results tomorrow.i don't feel that worried.i still gotta add features to my inventory app today.i have no time to worry.
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Where can I find those types of "homework assignments" where let's say a company sends you a sample project and asks you to add few features where in that way you learn new technology in a practical way?
I know there are some public "homework assignments" projects from Wix where you're given a sample project that uses let's say react framework and typescript where you have to learn react and add features and send it.
These projects IMO are the best way to learn new technologies fast instead of going through the documentation and figuring wth are they talking about before you realize the full potential.
Are there any of those "awesome lists" in GitHub or something? No I'm not talking about "algorithms and data structures" type of thing, I'm talking real practical samples that I can learn from and extend it.1 -
Please advise me how to wisely spend a prepaid visa card that is about to expire. It's just over $25... Tried to add funds to DO but it won't go thru since PayPal fails to make payment with it.
My last resort would be to register a play store dev account... But no idea it will be possible.
I would like to spend it on digital products and preferably, something dev related. Play store apps / subscriptions are fine too.. Any suggestions?..6 -
How do you handle a customer asking too much revisions
I have a client asked for a web app, i made it and everytime he asks for a change, edit, add new functionality, then he thinks back, no remove that and re-add that, change color, no i don't like it, change to this, hmm move this here back and forth i just wish i didn't deal with him in the first place...
so frustrating3 -
'I have no idea how Ajax or jQuery works so let me just add this if statement to re-add the form to the page so no one knows how much I don't know' I deal with this legacy bullshit every day...I DUNNO BRO MAYBE IF YOU USED A RESULT SELECTOR INSTEAD OF THE WHOLE PAGE FOR YOUR....RESULTS?!?!?!?! FUCK YOU
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I was trying to add someone to a team project on visual studio team services; i saw "no identites found" when i typed their email in so i thought it wasn't the correct way
I wandered around fiding nothing, eventually coming back to the first form
I type the email again, i don't pay attention to "no identities found" and add anyway : it works
wow didn't expect it to be that simple1 -
"If you think it would be cute to align all of the equals signs in your code, if you spend time configuring your window manager or editor, if put unicode check marks in your test runner, if you add unnecessary hierarchies in your code directories, if you are doing anything beyond just solving the problem - you don't understand how fucked the whole thing is. No one gives a fuck about the glib object model.
The only thing that matters in software is the experience of the user."
— Ryan Dahl (https://tinyclouds.org/rant.html)6 -
!rant question
Anybody else: Solarized (no affiliation)? Dark and light are so beautiful. Plugged in to terminal, window manager, (neo)vim, statusline (yeah, the Awk thing). Feels so beautiful. Can read shit off it anywhere, and my eyes aren't going any more blind.
P.S devRant team please get post separation up so that I don't have to add a 'question/rant/meme' tag to everything I post. <3 Love u guys! -
You know. In debian, albeit it didn't work great last time I used this tool, you could build source directly into a debian package, which included the source package.
Now this was not an easy wonderful thing. But in theory it made sense, and then if you needed to add something that would alter existing configuration etc, you could add these seperately or manually..
That I know, no such thing for rpms.
But thats not what annoys me.
AFTER ALL THIS TIME WHY IS THERE NO GRAPHICAL PACKAGE MAKER ?1 -
So I've been working on a game for the past months (if I were to add up the time I actually worked) and was really self-concious that it isn't good enough to pass for a demo. I then spoke to devs who were showcasing their games and said they've been working on them for 1.5-2 years. I suddenly no longer feel bad and like a lazy piece of shit.
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Why SQL, why???
I have a proc I need to modify so I add a select into it. Drop the proc and recreate it, run it, new select not giving results.
Modify the select to inverse filter to see what I do have, recreate the proc, run it, still no results...
Run four different cache cleaning queries, still no results from the new select...
Add a "select 1" before the new select, recreate and run the proc and now I have the new 1 and also the other select now has results...
Change the filters back, still getting same results...
Remove the select 1, no results...
What kind of devil cache is this?5 -
A lot of our web forms are done with AngularJS and combined with jQuery it does everything I need to satify the needs of people who are most impressed CSS transitions and have no technical knowledge whatsoever. I have no peers to ask this question.
I'm the only person deciding on what JS libs to use at the company... and since AngularJS goes into maintenance mode... what would you guys suggest to handle form input and add/remove CSS classes to HTML elements?
Should I get on the VUE bandwagon this year?13 -
Complaining about no dark theme? Just be like me - add one to your projects!
#NewProject #TimeForAnApp
12 -
Twitter now allows to add up to 4 images and format count them in symbols count. I have no idea what to do with such a great power.
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Thanks vscode devs for the feature where they automatically map the local ports to remote port that are needed to run the node based application and also to the devs those who write such a great extensions (remote development, gitlens, docker and kubernetes)
No more ng serve -host 0.0.0.0
No more remote_ip:4200 in browser.
These two steps were so much frustrating whole pulling or checking out another branch.
I just need to learn how to run maven from vscode where I have to add another project in dependency.(never worked on maven before and hate long nested xml). AFTER that never booting vm in GUI.4 -
Not sure if it counts but spent the day setting up a pxe boot server for a laptop I have since usb 2 is fucking slow than setting up this file server implementation thing for Git Pages so I could just downloaded an updated mirrorlist without need to add it manually. Just to find out I need to figure out why I have no internet argh!
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Following an interview, I've been tasked with creating a "simple address book" webapp with Laravel and Vue.js.
There isn't much in the spec, with the only requirements being the use of Bootstrap, no auth, and inclusion of pagination and searching.
This is very easy with Laravel and my question to the community is how much further do I go with this?
Should I add alphabetical pagination alongside laravel pagination? What about a nice material ui?
I sent a design from Dribble to the employer and asked if making the app look fancy would be worth my time. He said I'm free to use any front end design and lib that I want if I'm able to demonstrate my use of them in code review, and he also said that the project "was only intended to take you a couple hours" which it would if I weren't to add a fancy ui.
So, shall I just make a simple app with Bootstrap tables, add responsiveness and keep the css semantic for brownie points, or go all out and spend a day or two making it beautiful? There is one other candidate so I have competition.1 -
Event invitations sent from other people's Google calendar to my German GMX inbox: this still does not work! Google does not let my add my German GMX e-mail address as an alternate address in my account (only a red border around email input with no error text whatsoever) and any invitations to GMX end in your 404 robot page. Seriously, Google?! Seriously, GMX?! But you both have so many customers, why care about details anymore...
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So for one of our applications we have this custom made build system with no real documentation made by someone who left the company and uses old tech with 2010 visual studio files
And despite never having had a chance to work with it before, im not only expected by the PM and other staff to use this command line build too to make a build for production; but also to add a whole new application to be built.
Fuck me4 -
First worl problem.
There is only 1 10Gbits port on router. I'm already using it (Usage never exceeds 3.5 Gbits).
I wanto to add second device, also in 10 GBits.
Hub or Switch ?
On the one hand, my fiber max out at 3.5 Gbits.
On the other hand, I might want full 10 Gbitrs for Pc to PC communication.
Do I need 10 ? 99% : NO. But there is this 1% when everything is so fast !12 -
Am i the only person who hates reactjs so much?
Jsx , so much nesting, unreadable code. U need to create lots of components and reinvent the wheel everytime u need to add a litle tiny feature. No global logic (controller)
Raaaaah what a mess...4 -
i think google should add a button feature in google meet which gives user feature of playing statement of " yes mam" and" no mam" based on requirement of user to save students from that fucking online class in which professor are forcing students for their responses ...
i hope any one from google notice this post a nd take a thought on that -
Any tinker's here?
I'm in no way one, but I have to start with something, and recently I've buy a Moto Z2 Play, that has this little and nice interface that allows "Moto Mods", practically are modules that you "snap on/off" and add functionality to your phone.
Does anyone here have tried the MDK? do you think this is promising or just another trend to get lost in the way? -
That feeling you get when starting a new scala project. Fresh start! Lessons I have learned:
1) Add a linting tool before the code gets inconsistent to the point where it has thousands of style errors.
2) use test driven development from the start so that refactoring later is a breeze.
3) Write top down, no matter how much I want to implement the algorithms first.
4) write the tests first! -
GitHub: merge conflict in the readme document.
Me: I don’t care just skip it
GitHub: no go just use git to fix it
Me: I DONT WANT TO? CAN YOU JUST ADD SKIP IT OK11 -
I just want the system be better and help my colleague...
Me: could you ask (the dev who is in charge of the project) to add a code so any phone numbers included in this field will be removed automatically?
The senior: No. That guy replied me it will take him 2 hours and these 2 hours cost $xxx (based on the guy’s hourly salary). It’s much cheaper to let the other staff to remove the numbers manually.
Me: ....
Seriously this s**t would take you 2 hours?! -
Typescript Question
This is something that's been bugging me for a longer time now.
I did couple of React/typescript project (CRA) and it just keeps on happening and I have no idea why and even better - I have no idea how to query google with about problem.
From time to time I open a file that I KNOW was without any errors and suddenly BOOM - Parameter 'XYZ' implicitly has an 'any' type. And now I need to go and add explicit types everywhere it wants me to. TS Server restart doesnt help. Why does this keep happening? Any Typescript guru please?
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