HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Whenever I come across some acronyms...

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Me: double-taps rant to like it
DevRant: "Pro tip: You can double-tap rants to like them"

Overheard from a sales call (involving web templates):

"Sometimes I really don't get our devs. They come up with all these ridiculous meaningless acronyms for everything, and yet they go mental if you dare shorten Javascript to Java."

Friend: I wiped this drive, and then I open it in my Hex viewer app, and it's all zeros!

Me: yeah?

Friend: Why isn't it empty?

Me: uh well a drive must have its bits set to some value and can't just nothingness so zeros is just a default meaningless value that resolves to nothing..

Friend: No, but why is it full of zeros? why it isn't empty?

...

I attempted several times and then exploded. rip self

I stare through the blueish black backgrounds and blurry colorful syntax into a somewhat familiar office within a mirrored world. That damned reflective glass layer covering these meaningless pixels is certainly not on my side.

The rushing sound of transactions flowing through cables is silenced today. Some blood cloth in the invoicing system is zeroing out everything after the currency mark.

While sighing I spin a one-and-a-half pirouette on my desk chair — even when desperate, you shouldn't give up on style — I take three steps away from my screen and try to harmonize my thoughts.

So much noise, everywhere... Noise from within?

I have been stuck at the apogee of an inhale for a while now. Locked into some masochistic constriction, self-punishment for the blindness which stings my ego.

Just fucking take a deep breath you asshole...

I freeze in place, and fall backwards.

Patterns on the creamy drywall rapidly vibrate and synchronize on vivid rhythms of respiration and resonating basslines. Deep indigo rainbows ripple through tiny veins, in-between chalky grains, raining as fine magenta dust through the ceiling frames.

My bare feet slide over soft oscillating concrete, fine flows of unsievable sand surrounded by toes, toes surrounded by streaming variables veiled in obscure vile abstractions.

A jadegreen field of vectored compressions resiliently rumbles and bounces through the clearances and corners of the vibrant concrete office cave, whispering in tongues. I try to voice my woes in little blips and bleeps but I seem to be missing an asymmetric key to their shrouded sequenced speech.

Suddenly, a wild turbulence breaks up all signals.

Joanna floats by in her tipsy effervescent cloud of disordered black hair and alcohol perfume, one hand grasping grapes, her other waving at me.

With every finger she moves a thousand tensors propagating paradoxically flawed but perfect pieces of an intricate surreal picture, sketching whole constellations of possible paths throughout the leafs of the giant Ficus next to her desk.

She stops dead in her tracks, and asks somewhat hypocritically: "Are you high?"

I can not discern the meaning of her words, and respond stoically.

"Joanna! Check out those branches!".

"Pun intended?", she giggles.

I'm focused on her grapeless hand, her fingers stretching to reach the lush little tree.

On touch, the plant shivers, grappled in the tight net of the puppet master. She pulls her strings, applying measured weights, all nodes normalize, and Joanna speaks in an oddly soft tone:

"Isn't it beautiful, how so many models emulate nature"

Her cheek buried in foliage she babbles on about unbalanced search trees and machine learning models... but from the tips of her fingers tables and indexes flow into the plant. Users, payments, tariffs, invoices and taxes crawl over the bark, joining at thicker branches, joining at the stem....

Joining. JOINING. A JOIN.

"IF THERE'S NO FUCKING TAX MULTIPLIER IN THIS LEFT JOIN, EVERYTHING COALESCES TO ZERO" I shout at a perplexed Joanna who squeezes grape juice over her desk. I hop on the beat to my keyboard. She looks puzzled, hugs her Ficus tightly, and reaches for the whiskey bottle behind her monitor.

Attracted by my exclamation, Tom from finance swings open the door, while I push my branch.

I look at Joanna still half hiding between the leaves, and I laugh at her: "Branches! Oh, lame, I finally got it!"

Tom's heavy voice interrupts me: "Does this mean... does this mean that the invoicing bug is resolved?".

I smile at Tom with his tailored suit and waxed hair. "The money is flowing once more. All debts are being settled."

He releases his breath in relief, which he seems to have held since that morning as well.

Joanna adds: "Although I think he is forever indebted to my Ficus".

I nod.

If you think your job is meaningless, remember that there are Windows Phone app developers.

It's not that I hate PHP, I just hate the lack of consistency in standard function naming and parameter order, nonsensical attribute access, nearly-meaningless comparison operators, reference handling, case (in)sensitivities, and more!

I mean, look at these functions:
strtoupper(...)
bin2hex(...)
strtolower(...)

And look at THESE FUNCTIONS:
array_search($needle, $haystack)
strpos($haystack, $needle)

array_filter($array, $callable)
array_map($callback, $array)
array_walk($array, $callable)

And let me jUST USE SOME ATTRIBUTES:
$object->attr = "No dollar sign...";
Class::$attr = "GOD WHY";

HOW ABOUT SOME COMPARISONS:
(NULL == 0) // true
(NULL < -1) // ALSO true

Functions AREN'T CASE SENSITIVE (at least variables are).

Wanna dereference? TOO BAD, YOU'LL HAVE TO GET OUT THE TNT.

Alright, yeah, I hate PHP.

#feature request

Anonymous rants!

Let me explain, many people here have chosen meaningless usernames to them, to be completely anonymous, many others didn't... For example if you Google Etrunon I guess that you'll find me in less than 5 minutes...

So I believe that this may lead to less and less hateful, frustrated and liberating rants. Mainly because of three reasons: fear to be discovered from the outside(boss, etc) , fear to be discovered inside (colleagues or friends invited here) and the latter is the community building aspect of this app.

So what I am asking (knowing that should be a lot eheh) is the capability to post new rants either signed or anonymous... This to prevent being discovered let us having rewarding rants to read while on the same hand being able to connect and getting in touch a little bit with each other :)

What do you think?

@dfox @trogus

Some devs like to write meaningless or too general commit messages.

Stop it. Get help.

Call 0800-GITGUDBOIII where real experts talk version control.

I absolutely love the email protocols.

IMAP:
x1 LOGIN user@domain password
x2 LIST "" "*"
x3 SELECT Inbox
x4 LOGOUT

Because a state machine is clearly too hard to implement in server software, clients must instead do the state machine thing and therefore it must be in the IMAP protocol.

SMTP:
I should be careful with this one since there's already more than enough spam on the interwebs, and it's a good thing that the "developers" of these email bombers don't know jack shit about the protocol. But suffice it to say that much like on a real letter, you have an envelope and a letter inside. You know these envelopes with a transparent window so you can print the address information on the letter? Or the "regular" envelopes where you write it on the envelope itself?
Yeah not with SMTP. Both your envelope and your letter have them, and they can be different. That's why you can have an email in your inbox that seemingly came from yourself. The mail server only checks for the envelope headers, and as long as everything checks out domain-wise and such, it will be accepted. Then the mail client checks the headers in the letter itself, the data field as far as the mail server is concerned (and it doesn't look at it). Can be something else, can be nothing at all. Emails can even be sent in the future or the past.

Postfix' main.cf:
You have this property "mynetworks" in /etc/postfix/main.cf where you'd imagine you put your own networks in, right? I dunno, to let Postfix discover what your networks are.. like it says on the tin? Haha, nope. This is a property that defines which networks are allowed no authentication at all to the mail server, and that is exactly what makes an open relay an open relay. If any one of the addresses in your networks (such as a gateway, every network has one) is also where your SMTP traffic flows into the mail server from, congrats the whole internet can now send through your mail server without authentication. And all because it was part of "your networks".

Yeah when it comes to naming things, the protocol designers sure have room for improvement... And fuck email.

Oh, bonus one - STARTTLS:
So SMTP has this thing called STARTTLS where you can.. unlike mynetworks, actually starts a TLS connection like it says on the tin. The problem is that almost every mail server uses self-signed certificates so they're basically meaningless. You don't have a chain of trust. Also not everyone supports it *cough* government *cough*, so if you want to send email to those servers, your TLS policy must be opportunistic, not enforced. And as an icing on the cake, if anything is wrong with the TLS connection (such as an MITM attack), the protocol will actively downgrade to plain. I dunno.. isn't that exactly what the MITM attacker wants? Yeah, great design right there. Are the designers of the email protocols fucking retarded?

- WE NEED TO KNOW THE VERSION OF THE SYSTEM THIS INSTANT!
"what? version? wtf are you talking about"
- THE CLIENT HAS I.T. GUIDELINES TO STRICT CONTROL THE VERSION OF EACH SOFTWARE VENDOR'S SYSTEMS!
"We are not a 'software vendor', we provide them consulting on logistics!"
- THEY USE OUR WEBSITE! THIS MAKES US A SOFTWARE VENDOR!
"Wouldn't that make 'google' their vendor too?"
- IM SURE THEY STRICTLY CONTROL GOOGLE'S VERSION TOO!
"I'm pretty sure they don't. But, whatever, that do answers the question of what they want. Some paperwork jockey wants a meaningless number to fill a form, let's give'em one"

I just had someone make an API endpoint where they can ask "the version", and it is just the number of commits in our production branch. For lols, we even 0-fill and split every three magnitude orders with a dot, so we're in version 0.012.345 or something.
Major version upgrade every million commits!

Fuck those guideline-parrots who are unaware that words sometimes have meaning, and sometimes not.

How do you survive those days of pure despair, when you just want to hide or run away, when everything you do seems meaningless? How do you find the strength to keep moving forward when the voice in your head keeps asking "what's the point?"

I hoped this would go away (or at least get easier) with age, but here I am, almost in my thirties and still haunted by the same thoughts I've had since I was a teenager.

Customer: “How many concurrent users can use this app?”
Me: “web tech is stateless. (Insert explanation) So concurrency is meaningless.”
Customer: “yeah but how many concurrent users?”
Me: “infinite as long as they aren’t interacting with the server.”
Customer: “but how many?”
Me: “400”

College can be one of the worst investments for an IT career ever.

I've been in university for the past 3 years and my views on higher education have radically changed from positive to mostly cynical.

This is an extremely polarizing topic, some say "your college is shite", "#notall", "you complain too much", and to all of you I am glad you are happy with your expensive toilet paper and feel like your dick just grew an inch longer, what I'll be talking about is my personal experience and you may make of it what you wish. I'm not addressing the best ivy-league Unis those are a whole other topic, I'll talk about average Unis for average Joes like me.

Higher education has been the golden ticket for countless generations, you know it, your parents believe in it and your grandparents lived it. But things are not like they used to be, higher education is a failing business model that will soon burst, it used to be simple, good grades + good college + nice title = happy life.

Sounds good? Well fuck you because the career paths that still work like that are limited, like less than 4.

The above is specially true in IT where shit moves so fast and furious if you get distracted for just a second you get Paul Walkered out of the Valley; companies don't want you to serve your best anymore, they want grunt work for the most part and grunts with inferiority complex to manage those grunts and ship the rest to India (or Mexico) at best startups hire the best problem solvers they can get because they need quality rather than quantity.

Does Uni prepare you for that? Well...no, the industry changes so much they can't even follow up on what it requires and ends up creating lousy study programs then tells you to invest $200k+ in "your future" for you to sweat your ass off on unproductive tasks to then get out and be struck by jobs that ask for knowledge you hadn't even heard off.

Remember those nights you wasted drawing ER diagrams while that other shmuck followed tutorials on react? Well he's your boss now, but don't worry you will wear your tired eyes, caffeine saturated breath and overweight with pride while holding your empty title, don't get me wrong I've indulged in some rough play too but I have noticed that 3 months giving a project my heart and soul teaches me more than 6 months of painstakingly pleasing professors with big egos.

And the soon to be graduates, my God...you have the ones that are there for the lulz, the nerds that beat their ass off to sustain a scholarship they'll have to pay back with interests and the ones that just hope for the best. The last two of the list are the ones I really feel bad for, the nerds will beat themselves over and over to comply with teacher demands not noticing they are about to graduate still versioning on .zip and drive, the latter feel something's wrong but they have no chances if there isn't a teacher to mentor them.

And what pisses me off even more is the typical answers to these issues "you NEED the title" and "you need to be self taught". First of all bitch how many times have we heard, seen and experienced the rejection for being overqualified? The market is saturated with titles, so much so they have become meaningless, IT companies now hire on an experience, economical and likeability basis. Worse, you tell me I need to be self taught, fucker I've been self taught for years why would I travel 10km a day for you to give me 0 new insights, slacking in my face or do what my dog does when I program (stare at me) and that's just on the days you decide to attend!

But not everything is bad, college does give you three things: networking, some good teachers and expensive dead tree remnants, is it worth the price tag, not really, not if you don't need it.

My broken family is not one of resources and even tho I had an 80% scholarship at the second best uni of my country I decided I didn't need the 10+ year debt for not sleeping 4 years, I decided to go to the 3rd in the list which is state funded; as for that decision it worked out as I'm paying most of everything now and through my BS I've noticed all of the above, I've visited 4 universities in my country and 4 abroad and even tho they have better everything abroad it still doesn't justify some of the prices.

If you don't feel like I do and you are happy, I'm happy for you. My rant is about my personal experience which is kind of in the context of IT higher education in the last ~8 years.

Just letting some steam off and not regretting most of my decisions.

My wife wouldn't stop asking me to help her with FB. As a joke I told her if she didn't quit, I'd delete it (Tech stuff goes over her head like a 747). Well, she kept on so I opened up the Dev tools. I started by adding just some non sense to one of the divs. She saw it pop up on screen and was like "Wait...you can really do that?" then I highlighted the body tag and hit backspace. The whole thing disappeared, it was great. She legit freaked out for a minute and begged me to fix it. I popped up the console and started typing random things. Created an array with some mumbo-jumbo, a couple of quick, meaningless functions and snuck hitting Ctrl+R in there, refreshing the page. She was so happy that Facebook worked again, that she stopped asking me how to do whatever it was

I can understand (to a point) when non-devs use meaningless tech "buzzwords", but please, as developers, can we just agree not to spout nonsense?!

"Electron is so amazing, it's such a lightweight framework!"

"Django is incredible, it's so agile!"

Agile is a family of development methodologies, and Electron is about as heavyweight as a desktop application can possibly get...

Warning: American perspective of some shit that happens in America that I do not know if it is the same in other places of the world.

I got a notification from my child's school saying that she has been selected for doing <bs activity> between the hours of 1-3 and that parent cooperation is expected. I called the institution and told them that she would not be participating. They asked me WHY, to which I answered that said schedule does not align with my daily schedule. They continue to press as to WHY she would not make it to which I added in a very harsh tone: "because I am fucking working and my wife is fucking working, what age do you think it is? the 1950s in which I can have some meaningless desk job and pay for a house that would be worth half a mil now a days when my wife stays at home all day and just goes with whatever whim y'all have?"

Needless to say, she is no longer in said activity group, but this seems to be very frequent inside of school systems in the U.S, they really ain't evolved much.

No, wait, they have, we have active shooter trainings now, that shit is semi-new.

I pray that no one ever has to look at the commit message on my solo projects.

Aaaaand my whole world came crumbling down. All I have is a laptop with a battery backup of 15mins, and now the charger broke.

I was almost done with coding a nice feature, just few more lines and I would have been able to push.

But, rather it went dark. And now I can't code, nothing matters, everything is meaningless 😞

Admin Access

Have you ever been in a position where you become the de-facto person who works with a certain tool, but are denied full admin access to that tool for no real reason?

Two years ago I was put on the Observability squad and quickly discovered it was my thing, implementing tracking and running queries on this third-party tool, building custom stuff to monitor our client-side successes and failures.

About a year ago I hit the point where if you asked anyone "Who is the go-to person for help/questions/queries/etc. for this tool", the answer was just me lol. It was nice to have that solid and clear role, but a year later, that's still the case, and I'm still not an admin on this platform. I've asked, in an extremely professional way armed with some pretty good reasons, but every time I'm given some lame non-answer that amounts to No.

As far as I'm aware, I'm the only dev on our team at all who uses custom/beta features on this site, but every time I want to use them I have to go find an admin and ask for an individual permission. Every time. At the end of 2020 it was happening once a month and it was so demoralizing hitting up people who never even log into this site to ask them to go out of their way to give me a new single permission.

People reach out to me frequently to request things I don't have the permissions to do, assuming I'm one of the 64 admins, but I have to DM someone else to actually do the thing.

At this point it feels very much like having to tug on the sleeve of a person taller than me to get what I need, and I'm out of ways to convince myself this isn't demoralizing. I know this is a pretty common thing in large companies, meaningless permissions protocols, and maybe it's because I came from IT originally that it's especially irritating. In IT you have admin access to everything and somehow nobody gets hurt lol-- It still blows my mind that software devs who make significantly more money and are considered "higher up" the chain (which i think is dumb btw) are given less trust when it comes to permissions.

Has anyone figured out a trick that works to convince someone to grant you access when you're getting stonewalled? Or maybe a story of this happening to you to distract me from my frustration?

Yeah boss, lets study Scrum extensively so you can:

- Create variable length sprints
- User stories that are meaningless like 'fixes'
- Tasks that should be User Stories
- Duplicated tasks/stories that are on the fucking backlog already
- Cross sprints on projects
- No meetings at fucking all to determine who will do what
- Assign people on vacation to current sprints

The list goes on...

An when I point things like that out lets just look at the guy who spent 6 months studying this shit, taught you ( at least tried... ) as if he is saying nonsense while our projects get delayed and our code spaghettifies because we are always in a hurry for lack of time to plan anything :)

VB3.

In my last rant I mentioned I used to convert VB3 code to .Net. Before that, I used to work on the VB3 product itself. This software emulated something from the real world, and as such complied with a bunch of regulations that changed on a regular basis, and always had additions and removals that were to be done on a strict schedule (e.g. "we're adding a new product next month, so we have to be able to sell it by the first of the month"). As such, it was a huge sprawling mess.

One day, I was given a task to change some feature slightly. The task was simple enough and really only required adding one line of code. I added that line and clicked "Run".

Error: Too Much Code

What? What do you mean too much code? I asked a colleague for help. "Oh, don't worry, it happens when a function is too long. Just remove one or two of the comments and try again." The comments were, naturally, old deleted code that was quite meaningless so I had no qualms about removing some. It worked, and I went on with my life.

This started happening on a regular basis on our larger functions. But there were always comments to remove so it wasn't a big issue.

One day, though, it happened on a five-line function. This was puzzling - the error had always happened when a function was too big but this one clearly wasn't. What could the error mean? I went to the same colleague.

Apparently, there's also a limit to how big the entire code base can be. "Just find a function that isn't used any more and delete it." And so I did. There were many such functions, responsible for calculating things which no longer existed so they were never called. For months, I'd find functions and remove them. Until there weren't any more. I checked every function and subroutine in our codebase, and they were all used; I checked every possible code path and they were all needed.

What do I do now, I asked? The colleague, who was an expert on VB3 but worked on another project, came and take a look.

"Look at all these small functions you made! No wonder you're running out of space!" Apparently each function created a lot of overhead in the compiled executable. The solution was clear. Combine small functions into large monolithic ones, possibly passing flags in them to do completely unrelated things. Oh, and don't comment on the different parts because we have no room for comments in our code base.

Ah, the good old days.

I am mentally burned out from web development.

Physically I'm fine, but it's getting more difficult each day to open my laptop and write code, documentation or do code reviews.

Web development just seems so meaningless, where my day to day job has me trudging through one web form after another. I'm sick of implementing business logic on the backend and tired of listening to the product owner bitch about users who are demanding.

My productivity has fallen to the level where I'm feeling guilty for spending my time on nothing!

Don't give me advice, I know I need a change of scenery.

I just need to find the motivation to work on another hiring test which has nothing to do with the actual job.

So today I realized that Im not happy.

When I was a kid I wanted to do many things because I had time and energy but I had no money. Now that Im an adult and I have the money, I have no energy and no will power to try and have personal life in these few hours left of my day. I spend 9 hours at work everyday and totally 1hr 30min is wasted on commuting.

I spent 4 years in uni between lectures and working on my side projects, and I really believed that after uni I will get a job and my life work balance will improve.

After uni I spent 2 years working abroad in 3 jobs at 3 countries. I work as android dev and now Im making a really decent salary.

However Im not happy at all. I realized that life is not about the money. Im changing countries like socks and dont even feel the need to socialize or enjoy my life anymore. Im european and these other eu countries are not that different at all. It came to a point where relationships are meaningless to me. I became an office drone who cares only about work and outside of work I care only about my projects and more work.

At this point im only 25 years old with around 2 years of experience and money is really good, but fuck it Im so tired of being an emigrant and having no stability in life. Im so drained. I spent past 6 years (4 in uni combined with side projects and 2 years working in 3 jobs in different countriee) working my ass off and lying to myself that after the next big thing Im gonna take a break and enjoy life. But its never enough. I dont want to hit 30s or 40s and realize that I wasted my life on pursuing money and didnt get to enjoy life..

Im really considering taking a 6-12 months vacation. I need to find myself. Probably going back to my own country. Just learn how to enjoy life, attend workshops, get to know new city area, meet new people, do some interesting hobbies. Maybe do a little freelance (max 10hrs a week).

Im tired of feeling like I need to make as much money as I can and learn as much about my work as I can. Its not rewarding because its never enough.

Whats the point in that money if I cant enjoy it?

My car window got broken this night and they robbed some of my stuff.. Well I lost around 100€ in stuff so it's meaningless, but I have to get my car repaired, and most of all, they stole that old shitty laptop that I use as a seed box and for file syncing. It was my first own computer too, it had about 7 years :/

Some more of Stux's !dev pet peeves

1) Teenagers who comment shit like "I'm from the wrong generation" or "today's music is trash. This is real music" on songs from like the 70s and 80s. Like shut the fuck up. You can like whatever music you want, but your taste in music doesn't make you unique, so just shut the fuck up and listen to the music. I was jamming out to 70s and 80s when I was 9, so you aren't the first to enjoy older music at a young age
2) "Old heads" who comment shit like "this isn't real *genre*" on a new song that isnt like the older version of that genre. News flash: music fucking evolves. Just because that country song doesn't have a twangy guitar in it, that doesn't mean the song ain't country. Just because the rap song ain't some deep ass poetic shit, it doesn't make it any less of a rap song.
3) People who edit their comments on YouTube to say shit like "wow thanks for all the likes, I wasn't expecting this." Wooptie fucking doo. Your comment got a few thousand likes. Fun fact: those likes are meaningless.
4) Humidity. Fuck that shit man.
5) General education classes. They're a fucking pain in the ass man. Like im 98% confident I don't need art history in the real world. Or mythology. "tHeY tEaCh YoU tO lEaRn." Teach me to learn in degree specific classes then. At least their content will be interesting to me.

My name is Stuxnet. Thanks for coming to my TED talk again.

Hey everyone in all seriousness I am gonna be out of the dev field now - hopefully forever. I’m back in school now and hopefully will become employed in emergency response. Before dev, I have had jobs where I could directly help people with their troubles and I could reduce a lot of chaos. I really enjoyed it and I want to kind of steer my life back towards that. I find that while I was an employed dev, I felt like I was contributing a lot towards corporate greed, this wealth gap problem, and a bunch of other stuff. It all felt morally wrong (to me - not judging here). I also felt the worse I have ever felt in a job - constantly burned out, depressed, lonely, sleep deprived, and almost even ashamed of myself of how I constructed my life thus far. I had some good times meeting some cool ass people in some cool ass places tho.

Now, even though I’m still sleep deprived and EXTREMELY poor, I’m very happy now. I am excited to start this thing I’m more passionate about. It feels good to not feel my head hurt every day from trying to fix shit that will always break anyways. I feel so relieved to be away from the meaningless turbulence of it all. Just wanted to share my lil success here!!

So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).

There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.

The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.

Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".

If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.

Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.

TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.

After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!

Getting rrreeaaalll tired of the Treehouse ads in my YouTube videos. In my sidebars. In the footers. In my kitchen. Following me down the street. Join us, they say. You'll get a job in six weeks, they whisper. Life without Treehouse is empty and meaningless, joinnn usssss.

I'm doing my CV in Vue with Bulma and everything is all nice and neat. I have a nice and neat 'skills' section that you can see pictured, and it's nice and neat. However, what is not very nice and neat is Firefox (and chrome's) print to PDF thing which ignore the nice little semi meaningless dots that I have, which is so fucking asdfghjkl;

I was depressed doing a course I hated.

3 years in and I switched to Computer Science.

Best decision ever!

Focusing on meaningless exams instead of coding.

Rant!!!!!!!
When you work hard on building frontend and suddenly, you realise whenever you restart your localhost, some URLs don't work. And it's random. Error logs also seem meaningless as the latest error report keeps changing the error location from file to file. Wasted hours to identify the abnormal behaviour.
I always had the mentality to keep its programmers fault in order to always consider all possible flaws.
But realised later that it was the OS setting issue. Did a stacktrace about 300 lines and found out the root cause(hopefully as no issues till now). The bug was related to total allowed open files at a time.

Spent yesterday afternoon trying to extract the logic from a VBA macro written by civil engineers so that we can encode the same logic in the applications we're writing.

Sweet Jesus.

500 lines of meaningless variable names and loops reading values from various spreadsheets into a 3 dimensional array(!).

On top of that, now that I kind of understand what it's doing, I don't think it's ever worked properly.

Dear ESLint,
- you convinced me to put a space between function() and {
- you convinced me to use single quotes for strings in place of double quotes
- you convinced me to put a space between inline operators
- you had me when you said that trailing spaces shouldn't compare in my code
- you said to put semicolons at the end of each instruction, and I thought it wasn't a so bad idea

BUT NO FUCK OFF NO NEVER I WON'T NEVER PUT A FUCKING TRAILING COMMA IN THE END OF JAVASCRIPT OBJECT IT'S MEANINGLESS UGLY A WASTE OF A FUCKING BYTE.
WHY THE FUCK I SHOULD TYPE var obj = {a: 'some text',} INSTEAD OF var obj = {a: 'some text'} WHY WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THAT FUCKING COMMA

When an application is nearly complete and suddenly there is a recommendation thrown from management to change a technical specifications . Which will change the whole cycle effort meaningless. How does that feel?! Getting it now.

Things you shouldn’t be:

1. Racist
2. That guy that interrupts the person next to him while he is trying to write code every 2 fucking minutes and asks dumb and meaningless questions

Aren't you fucking sick of meaningless errors?

Create value, not work
Can't believe I'm asked to do something that I feel is absolutely worthless
Okay, yes I know I need to get paid...
Let's just say I don't share the vision with whoever came up with these tasks

Fucking professors, they think could play ping pong with students. I started my thesis on ransomware but these meaningless biological creatures who is my relator sent me to another one who sent me to another one who sent me to the first professor. After almost three weeks I have nothing done so i switched professor and thesis argument to neural networks (TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Caffe and other) and now they wants me back and one of them said that he is offended. Fucking retarded, I have to graduate and I'm working hard to do it in september, if you were a little bit interested I could have collect some material to study in august sacrifing even the summer but you mock me, but rightly it's my career and my money, it doesn't care to you. You deserve to get stuck in an infinite loop of pian.

My head is melting. Does anyone have a colleague who constantly complains about missing specs, documentation, project organization, bad processes and procedures? Everything needs to be planned. Not a single small code change can be done without reviewed details. 10min job becomes a week-long session of whining and dabbling.

You give the guy a small task and at the end of the day nothing is done. Just page after page of written documents and lists in Word and online notebooks. Version numbers, meaningless measurement results, latencies etc. And all you asked was "could you just fucking fix this one thing and quickly compile and check it". But no. There must be a review and at least 10 people need to be called into conference. Someone needs to approve everything just so that he can later move to blame to others. "Yeah I know it's not working but I showed you the code and you reviewed it!". Yes, you did, but other people have work of their own so sometimes you need to tie your own shoelaces.

And sometimes finally there's some work done. All indentations are shit. There’re code changes everywhere just because the guy didn't like the previous smaller, compact and logical code. The code doesn't even compile properly anymore. And if you complain, the reason is "there's no proper reviewed and stamped process description, so I cannot know if a variable is supposed to be 10 characters long. Besides 200 character long variable names are much more descriptive". For fucks sake.

Some coders should've gone to work in some tax office basement.

My home is under renovation and so my desktop is disassembled and in the box for more than a week now . I feel depressed, aimless and meaningless.

Ok Im done. I‘ll quit my job in the upcoming 6 weeks.
I have posted about it in the past. I cant imagine doing a job I hate for longer than absolutely necessary if you don’t have people depend on you.
My job is boring, my position redundant, my colleagues are pretentious and pricks, my boss doesn’t care about my work and I am miserable doing something completely meaningless for company I am sure will not survive the next 12 months.

I have floated out my resume to some companies yesterday evening. Do you guys have any recommendations where to look except the typical job platforms? I would like to either have a interesting position as a Fullstack developer gaining more experience with BE or it must be a job about something meaningful. I have already scanned the jobs on all NGOs but of course they don’t seem to need any software developers.

I am fucking done doing stuff that goes directly to the trash can just because some useless PM had a brain fart. My life is too short to do this shit anymore.

You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.

A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!

And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...

devRant may just have been my rubber duck.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!

Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!

This whole programming profession sucks! Programmers suck! Managers suck! Companies suck! Products suck!

Why is it so hard to organize your stupid code at least a bit?! No, it’s not deadlines, just write a block of code and give it a meaningful name, a function, a method, a comment, so many options, so little fucks given. Give things a meaningful name instead of whatever came to your mind that moment. There’s no excuse! No, just leave it to the next guy, and he’ll leave his trash for another one. And then we complain and make memes about it. Fuck you all!

There’s no purpose or vision of products, managers sweep problems under a rug, executives do whatever they do, as long as some money is pouring in, just keep pedaling semi-mindlessly. Spin the wheel you little hamsters until you drop, there’s enough hamsters out there.

It’s just a clusterfuck of small, selfish interests and egos, a mud of meaningless and unnecessary problems that need not be there.

It’s not the workload, it’s the stress! The stress of bullshit, and constant problems that can be avoided if everyone did their job at least half-professionally. Not just programmers, everyone!

Wen want to get away from boring, monotonous and meaningless jobs so we can focus more on music and art. Thats why we created AI to automate music and art so you have more time to feel like shit.

*Have idea.

*Start thinking about it.

*Start seriously thinking about it.

*Push yourself to do it.

*Have a mini unconscious panic attack that tells you you're gonna fail.

*Do something else completely unrelated to what you wanted to do.

*Feel good about the meaningless shit you just achieved.

*Recognize you're procrastinating.

*Try to stop.

*You can't cause you're stupid and lack the control and discipline to trick your own mind.

*Watch video about how to overcome procrastination.

*Get a more firmer understanding of it.

*Realize you're a helpless piece of shit.

*Cry till dead inside.

*Resume daily mindless shit.

Two months of meaningless meetings and calls to assess "requirements" and three months worth of actual development work crammed into 3 weeks. Fuck this corporate bs. Agile my ass.

Oh, well. Work on bad projects with bad clients/managers, for the sake of the money, it's a life sucker. At first I thought it was not a big deal. I was collaborating to someone's elses business and doing the best work I could.

I was tired, depressed, sleepless, having allergic rhitinis every two weeks, frustrated without any opportunity to grow intellectually, fearing clients calls and emails, and... in denial.

Since last year, I decided to stop working on some kind of project and for some kind of people. As the remaining contracts and projects were being wrapped up, I started to feel relieved, despite of all anxienty of let go long term clients and see income lowering.

Then I started to use my free time and savings to futher my education, send cvs and work on side projects. It's not an easy transition. I'll still need to keep working on not-so-good projects to pay the bills, however, I've been selecting more.

Slowly I'm recovering my life, health and enthusiasm for cs again.
I'm learning to not give a fuck and it really helps.

Subject: a rant for devRant

Hello,

Not entirely sure why or when exactly it happened, but after I joined mailing lists I have a pet peeve for people who don't use a proper subject line, or don't use email when I literally made a mail server for that purpose (some organizations really prefer calling apparently). Is it really that hard to summarize a message in one sentence? Hell half the time even the message itself is just a few sentences.

Also the greeting and salutation at the beginning and end of email messages. I find them so redundant. Has anyone ever gotten any meaningful information out of "Hello", "Greetings", "Dear", or something like that? Or "Best regards" or whatever. I get that it's just being polite but it's so meaningless! I really don't like using them anymore. Just a message block and who it came from, that's all it needs to me. Instead pour some effort into the damn subject, the title of whatever drivel you're putting out there! Or replying to an email *only* when the subject matter is still related! Or actually replying to the damn email if it's still that subject matter...

I probably sound like an old man, but seriously.. email isn't a hard concept once you "get it". Anyone can write a halfway decent letter, why isn't that the case for email?

Best regards,
Condor

I want a boring software developer job. I’ve been working for software consulting companies since the beginning. And is just so stressful. Clients always ranting, the need to always be in the cutting edge, or even the complete opposite. There’s always pressure to get certified in X o Y. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to be constantly catching up with the latest stack or framework. I want a boring job. A slow-paced job maybe maintain some old hunk of software that does not give too much trouble. I’m tired of putting down fires all the time. Of running against the clock to deliver a meaningless app. Because all this apps don’t contribute to anything in the world. Just more clutter, more bloat. I just want to work 8 to 5 and be done with it. Just throw myself in the couch after it and play some games. Maybe do some gardening. Or bread. I love bread. Don’t you love bread?

I fucking hate corporate environment. We have a weekly meeting in our tech department where a team is chosen at random to present the project they're working on, architecture and such. You know what? We have fucking documents, for both product scope and technical architecture. If you're interested in our work, go fucking read our docs. If you have a question, slack us or send us a fucking email. Why the fuck do I have to attend a 1-hour meeting every week for this bullshit. Oh and some dude from upper management has a brilliant idea: from today they decide to host 2 such meetings per week, 1 within the tech department, and another within the whole company. So we had to attend the same fucking meeting twice in 1 week!!! Fucking genius!
I'm so fucking tired of these meaningless meetings, but attendance is recommended because "this is how you reach staff level" as they told me. Fucking bullshit. I may try a few more years for the sake of financial stability, and then find a small shop where people just leave me the fuck alone with my codes.

As I already said on devrant, I'm a freelance web developer and I also often sell my services for teaching, loving that. Currently I'm teaching PHP with 30 students and it's going very well.

But yesterday, I received an offer for giving another course next month, this time on HTML and CSS, for a company I don't know yet. Almost every line of this email is wrong, outdated by 20 years, or just basically meaningless...

So I thought I could do my best to translate this as close as possible to the original, preserving the wrong formulations too, just for you devranters fellas.

"Hello,

I have an offer for a 2 days course for 5 people (level 1+ and/or 2), on HTML5 and CSS3. Below, the program :

1. XHTML AND CSS2 INTRODUCTION

Advantages and benefits of change

Understanding compatibility for different versions of browsers

HTML, XHTML, CSS edition tools : presentation of the different tools

The CSS language : different types of selectors : class of selector, identifier of selector, contextual selectors, grouped selectors

Blocks of text, boxes of text

The CSS1, CSSP, CSS2 properties

Relative and absolute measures units

2. LAYOUT TECHNIQUES

Full CSS, XHTML websites demo

Positioning with the position property, positioning with the float property

Columns creation

Layout for forms

Layout for data tables

Layout for menus

3. INTRODUCTION TO SVG (SCALABLE VECTOR GRAPHICS)

Role and importance of SVG

Using SVG on client side : basic shapes

SVG structure of document, tags examples

Using CSS styles with SVG

Different integration methods for SVG in a XHTML document

4. OPTIMISATION OF JAVASCRIPT CODE

Introduction to DOM and Javascript

Access to document objects : different access techniques, using this keyword, create elements dynamically

Positioning elements with the help of Javascript : positionning elements relatively to the mouse, move elements

Show/hide elements for creating hierarchical menus

Code optimisation techniques : using objects, objects litterals, loops optimisation

Can you please give me your availability ?"

Seriously...

CSS-fucking-1 ! Is it a course for dinosaurs ?

...And if only my rant was just about the program...

It's totally impossible to cover all these subjects in only 2 days with people of different levels and experience.

The guy exactly said to me : "don't worry about the program, it's an old text but they agreed to it anyway. They just want to learn HTML and CSS, some of them already know it but want to learn more, and the others are total beginers.".

And here is the meaning for the "(level 1+ and/or 2)" part in the email.

So... Surprizingly, I accepted the offer, but asked for at least a 3rd day. I'm waiting for their answer, but I'll do it anyway, adapting the course content to the actual students knowledge. I need the money, after all.

Wish me luck...

It's just sad that these formation companies are selling bullshit to clients that just want to learn something useful. It's too often like that, they sell shitty/useless programs and we have to catch up in real time with students that don't understand why they don't learn what was told to them.

My dad: I don't know why you like programming... you write lines of meaningless things, there is no logic behind.
Me: ...Actually, it's not true... ehm... it doesn't matter... (in my mind: you would not understand)

Clients assume that because they can't see it, means no real work was done. Or even worse, you show them code that was written for the server, even demo the apis but without a pretty front-end it's pretty much meaningless. Even if ITS NOT YOUR JOB TO DO THE FRONT-END!!!

I don't think the Internet became toxic because of anonymity like all those people claimed post-90s

I think it became toxic because normal people with their real life cultures found it and brought their real life cultural norms onto it

I've been thinking why are video games communities so much more holistic than other types of communities
the last few years this is becoming less and less the case, however
and now even games suck.

games now, instead of their old cultures, are becoming derivative plain cultures
everything has to be easy, meaningless, shallow
everybody has to follow the meta or people rage at you with their entitlements to your behaviour
it's exactly like real life!

mystery solved

CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

The overuse of something is designed to demoralize and discourage the very thing.

Vapid christmas jingles, meaningless consumerism, blackfriday shopping, keeping up with the joneses, decorations and tinsel bullshit so overloaded on homes and trees that it looks like a gaudy airstrip display, holiday-town-esque themes and festivals so frequent, overcooked and overcommercialized that its like you've stepped into a 40-year-old sterile suburban house-wives braindrain internal fantasy reruns of regurgitated hallmark christmas romance movies.

Alls fair love and christmas.

In other news, some strapping young and intrepid adventurer *lit a public christmas tree on fire*.

Its a shame really, when we can't just enjoy the simple things without some dickhead going and spoiling it. But also I can't help but ask

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"

I know I'm out of the loop since I barely use these sites, but...

What is it with this seemingly ridiculous new trend on LinkedIn of replacing your meaningless job title with, somehow, an even more meaningless fake description of what you're doing? I'm seeing it all over.

Back in the day it'd just be "Python developer". Then the trend seemed to be a "Senior / lead / principle software engineer / Python specialist" (who cares if you're actually a senior eh, this is LinkedIn.) And if that wasn't ridiculous enough, now it's "Helping to transform the globe towards a greener future by implementing beautiful, robust code in Python 3.10" or similar. Who the hell wants to see this crap?!

After demoing a PoC of a new approach in our flagship product the CEO begged me to shoehorn it into the product. Complete do-over of the core architecture of our product. Spent two weeks basically living at work. Two weeks of pouring everything I had to deliver. Beaten, battered, bruised, I got the impossible done. As I'm walking out to go home to my family Friday afternoon, visibly exhausted and frazzled, the project manager calls me into her office. "Oh no" I thought. With a straight face, she proceeds to inform me some meaningless text wasn't the right color. I stared at her a second, shook my head in disbelief and went home.

As developers/architects we move mountains and perform miracles, but it's the color of the text that _really_ matters.

Carving wood is more interesting than engaging in meaningless conversations with selfish women and drinking wine.

In the middle of 2 critical bug fixes and your boss 'volunteers' you for a meaningless 4 hour training session.....WTF????

An old friend just texted me and asked me to hack Facebook. Again.

FUCK OFF. I'm not a fucking work-horse, I'm not a slave, and I'm not fucking with something as meaningless and stupid as FB.

Go hack your way into his neck with an axe if you want to, I'll even help, but fuck messing with their social life. Go for the disease, not the symptoms.

How many hours of actual productive work do you devs average a day? Honestly, I think I average about 2 hours of honest, good work in my 8 hour day. Between random meaningless meetings that could be emailed out or just daily distractions (coworkers chatting, my phone, etc). Am I alone in this?

I try to remember that I'm going to die some day and all I've done until will be meaningless and remain forgotten. And what a great way to die if I die in the middle of some bullshit apache setup, launching a dockerized flask or creating my own stupid marketing app...

Sooooo... I've felt a bit lost during my years as a student and maybe this is a nice place to finally talk about it.
I've had my first programming experiences in school (back then it was delphi, a Pascal variant), then decided after graduating I want to study computer science. I've stuck with it and will finish my masters degree in a few months. (Took me a year longer than the university plans but will likely have a very good grade)

Since i have little programming experience and never coded anything useful (mostly study projects or simple programming tasks) I've always been struggling with depressions, worries of being not good enough and never finding a job etc pp, but in the last few months it got worse since I NEED to apply for jobs now as i graduate next may. I'd really like to improve and found some "learn how to code" websites but the progress seems still slow and meaningless when I compare myself to all those guys out there:
- those comparing several hardware/software pieces casually since they know all the (dis)advantages and specs off by heart
- those who have fierce discussions about languages, libraries, runtimes etc
- those who solve the problems in coding websites with 3 lines and incredibly mathematicsl proofs for why this shortcut works (fastest)
- basically the guys who discuss so many things i've never even heard of

I just feel so lost, useless and like i missed years of learning things everybody else just obviously knows now. Is there any way to catch up? I thought about trying to join a local Chaos Computer Club but they sound like they wouldn't be fond of a noob like me.

code is emotional because it represents ideas, collaboration, and hard work. On the other hand, code is completely cold, instructional, and meaningless.

I think both of these are true.

I like how software is smart so I have to do things twice instead of once.

Automatically putting quotes works only if you put quotes and then paste inside it, the problem is I usually paste then put first quote and then need to remove second quote and put it on back and remove second quote from back.

Video start from where you left automatically fires and shows closing credits because you obviously want to see them.

Evaluate variable removes old evaluation because why you want old one when you have new.

Collapsing imports or functions in ide so you need to expand them all the time because who needs to look at functions when we have ai

AI models suggesting and adding meaningless annotations and code suggestions to distract me.

Randomly running some console command because I entered keyboard shortcut I don’t know even exists.

Literally every web browser address bar becomes advertising network instead of showing me history results.

Shadowing browsing history when you click back and forward button.

Search results are now buy results.

Suggesting me useless crap to watch because I watched one video in that topic.

Showing me 10 minutes videos as a solution to my problem where I want to find exact line of text to copy paste it. If I’m lucky I need to write text from video into my computer.

Stack overflow infinite loop of answered in #some-different-question

I think it’s about time for me to slowly retire from programming and software as a whole or switch to notepad because I don’t want to use this crap anymore.

Looks like software is now meant for entertainment and distraction instead of doing actual work where you need precise data and information.

Luckily if everything goes good I can retire soon and throw everything away for a while.

I sit on toilet to take a shit and i started falling asleep! I shit even while i sleep! This is magnificent. Miraculous. Every day its the same shit but more advanced style of shitting. I am becoming very skilled at shitting. I deserve to get fucking paid every time i take a shit. There should be a sport about who can shit more often every day and I'd be the winner. Bullshit floats all around us every day especially from jobs and interviews. It is inevitable to avoid it. Beautiful. And it does make sense. I keep saying life is shit anyways every time some shit happens. And im always right -- life IS shit anyways. The keyword is **anyways**. Because no matter what you do or dont do, life will be shit Anyways. Life is empty and meaningless. Even shit has more meaning than life itself. If meaning is something that is made up then you can't live life at all. If meaning is what you make it then there is no default meaning in the entire existence. All of it is shit. We either exist because God made us and doesnt want to tell us why or we exist by chance of statistical randomness. Hopefully its the first option as its less depressing

Btw terraform is fucking good

This technical interview went horribly awful... I cant believe what they asked me.... And it was all on english. Interviewed by german and indian guy. I got SO stressed the fuck out just from this 35 min technical interview. I drowned in stress. If this is the reality of engineering world im not sure if i can handle all this stress....

If i work a job i would literally just go to office and come back home like a literal zombie. Emotionless soulless purposeless zombie. Emptiness. Void. Numb. As i work in the office i would put a fake smile face as if im so happy working while from inside drowning in stress and decomposing out of depression... The amount of money i earn wouldnt even be spent because id have no energy or will to go out and spend it. It's meaningless....

I decided to upgrade my intellij ultimate from 2019.3 to 2020.2 and I saw there is update button.
I clicked on it.
As I expected it didn’t work and it was 30 minutes waiting looking at progress bar going back and forth couple of times before I decided just to download latest version and drag and drop it to applications folder ( took me 5 minutes) - I use mac so it replaces all crap ( I think ).

I cleared the old cache that growed to 2 gigabytes leaving some configuration files.
Next as always crash on startup cause of incompatible plugins with long java stacktrace - at least I could click the close button or popup closed itself I can’t remember ( one version I remember this button couldn’t be clicked cause it was off the screen and you need to do some cheating to launch ide )
The font has changed and I see that it at least work a little faster - that is nice. Indexing is finally fixed after all those years - probably thanks to visual studio code intellisense pushing those lazy bastards to deal with this.
But the preloader on first logo disappears so I think they decided to remove it cause it’s so fast - no it loads the same time or maybe little longer when I launch it on my old macbook.

After that as always I looked at plugins to see if there’s something interesting, so to find ability to scroll over whole plugins I needed to click couple of times. I think they assume I remember all the nice plugins in their marketplace and I only type search.
Maybe I should be type of user who reads best 2020 plugins for your best ide crap articles filled with advertising or even waste more time to watch all of this great videos about ide ( are there any kind of this stuff ? )

After a few operations I unfortunately clicked apply instead of restart ide and it hanged up on uninstalling some plugin I’m no longer interested in for 5 minutes so I decided to use always working ‘kill -9’ from command line.

Launched again and this time success.
Fortunately indexing finished for this workspace and I can work.

I’m intellij ultimate subscriber for 7+ years and I see those craps are not changing from like forever.
What’s the point of automate something that you can’t regression test ?
I started thinking that now when most people are facebook wall scrolling zombies companies assume that when new software comes out everyone is installing it right away and if not they’re probably not our customers cause they’re dead.
What a surprise they have when I pay for another year I can only imagine ( to be fair probably they even don’t know who I am ).
Yeah for sure I am subscribed to newsletters and I have jetbrains as a start page cause I shit myself with money and have nothing better to do then be grupie ( is there corporate grupies already a big community? )

Well I am a guy who likes to spend some time when installing anything and especially software that is responsible for my main source of income and productivity speed up.

Anyway I decided to upgrade cause editing es7 and typescript got to be pain in the ass and I see it’s working fine now. I don’t know if I like the font but at least the editor it’s working the same or maybe faster then the original that is huge improvement as developers lose most of their time between keyboard and screen communication protocol.

I don’t write it to discourage intellij as it’s great independent ide that I love and support for such a long time but they should focus on code editor and developers efficiency not on things that doesn’t make sense.

Congratulations if you reached this point of this meaningless post.

Now I started thinking that maybe it’s working faster cause I removed 2 gigs of crap from it.

Well we’ll see.

Just went an entire day at work without a computer.

I know we usually rant about meaningless meetings and waste of time conversations but they are great for avoiding work while seeming very busy and productive.

Have you ever felt like your company is just some shell company, making meaningless projects to feed someone's appetite of bossing people around so that it doesn't look bad in taxes because he's paying himself with the salary and we don't even know what's connected to what and noticing weird relationships like some workers are of the same family members, who are also project managers but your salary is okay enough to keep your mouth shut?

Somehow being able to make perfect sense out of the meaningless and vague requirements pushed down from upper management.

I'm finishing up the most depressing client engagement ever. Ultimately it all traces back to their worthless Expert Beginner EA who thinks he's a genius but can't write code. I don't mean that he's not great at it. It's some of the worst I've ever seen by a person in his position.

In the time I have left here I could do so much to help them clean this stuff up so that future developers could ramp up more easily and there wouldn't be tons of duplicate code.

But I've just given up. You can't help someone who thinks their code is perfect. I don't even bother suggesting stuff any more (like don't have two methods in a class - a "real" one and one for unit testing) because he gets mad or just says that's his "pattern."

If I have a useful improvement, first he'll want me to put all new code in some new library, which is fine as an end result but you don't start with putting single-use code in a library separate from where you're using it. You work with it for a while to see what's useful, what's not, and make changes. But, you see, he just loves making more libraries and calling them "frameworks."

He tells me what he wants me to name classes, and they have nothing to do with what the classes do. When you haven't done any development yet you don't even know what classes you're going to create. You start with something but you refactor and rename. It takes a special breed of stupid to think that you start with a name.

I've even caught the dude taking classes I've committed and copying and pasting them into their own library - a library with one class.

The last time we had to figure out how to do something new I told everyone up front: Don't waste time trying to figure out how you want to solve the problem. Just ask the EA what he wants you to do. Because whatever you come up with, he's going to reject it and come up with something stupid that revolves around adding stuff to his genius framework. And whatever he says you're going to do. So just skip to that.

So that's the environment. We don't write software to meet requirements. We write it to add to the framework so that the EA can turn around and say how useful the framework is.

Except it's not. The overhead for new developers to learn how to navigate his copy-pasted code, tons of inheritance, dead methods, meaningless names, and useless wrappers around existing libraries is massive. Whatever you need to do you could do in a few hours without his framework. Or you can spend literally a month modifying his framework to do the same thing. And half the time his code collapses so that dozens of applications built on his framework go down at once.

I get frameworks. They can be useful, but only if they serve your needs, not the other way around.

I've spent months disciplining myself not to solve problems and not to use my skills.

Good luck to those of you who actually work there. I am deeply sad for the visa worker I'm handing this off to. He's a nice guy and smart. If he was stupid then he wouldn't mind dragging this anchor behind him like an ox pulling a plow. Knowing the difference just makes it harder.

For the first time, after 4 years, i have installed tinder. I feel depressed for having to do vengeance. And i also feel depressed for not having to do it. I feel sad for being forced to find another girl. This is not how i imagined it to be

Right now its 1-0 for my blonde ex gf. I have to have a random hookup at least a 1 night stand to make this 1-1. This is what i did before but now after experiencing love for the first time, true love in the first 2 years with her, for the first time that somebody genuinely loved me other than my parents, is very hard for me to go back to random hookups

Hookups are meaningless to me now. But i am forced. I have been given a check mate

⚠️Why do i have to be forced to fuck another girl in order to prove my girlfriend that other girls still want me, so that my girlfriend will love and want me again as well?....⚠️

Please reread this paragraph above 3 more times. Let it sink in. That is saddening to me. The more she sees how no other girl wants me, the less interest she has in me....

Im literally sitting. Listening to sad depressing "music" which is more of nature and dark rain sounds. I also started working out aggressively. I couldnt eat for 5 days due to finding chats on my blonde ex gfs phone with the other guy...

Now 8 days later... I have lost 6 kg and counting. I am barely eating. I am using the screenshots of their chats as an overdosed injection of adrenaline every time pre workout and during workout

Today she didnt text me at all. I always start the conversation first. I have to move on and i am still in disbelief that i have to do it.

My birthday is next week and the last thing i need is to spend being depressed....

I feel lost

But i have a feeling all i need to do is get rich. All i need is to get my money up and that way find more easily a new better behaved normal gf.

God help me

Forgive me God for everything

Thank you God for everything

Guide me God on the right path, for i am lost

Please.

.

Second week sick I see how my life slowed down and how meaningless everything around is, everyone is rushing about some bullshit, name it new amazing job opportunity, black Friday great deal, super duper product idea or some most important bug on production that we need to fix asap.

All that can’t wait a week when I’m healthy?
Seriously, people lost their minds in today’s world to some bullshit.

I’m to old and to depressed to care about such idiotic things. Living my life as I want and on my own peace, don’t care everyone is running, I’m slowly walking and I like it.

It’s better to walk straight than run around like an idiot.

Probably everyone at least once had situation when they receive a meaningless screenshot with 500 page, a message "Application doesn't work fix it" and 0 info whatsoever.
Here is my tip that saved me a lot of trouble.
I display error id in the center of the screen, large enough so no matter how small and blurry the image is (yes users, send us photos of theirs displays) , It is always easy to ready it so we can start investigation without talking to those monkeys.

I've been to 4 kubernetes related tech talks and they've all been the fucking same. No depth, no new cool things, no little tricks or demonstrations, just the plain old boring shit I've seen a thousand times.

I've worked with it and love it for big projects, but going to conventions to hear someone talk about it is completely meaningless. Perhaps it's because I only learn by doing.

And before anyone says 'then don\'t go', I usually go with either friends or a colleagues and want to show my face, and have some drinks and snacks.

This was my techtalk.

I can see life is meaningless and the only reason of my short visit to this planet is to pass on my vain selfish genes.

But what drives me every day is the exponential trends of tech and the looming technological singularity in the 2040s. And the prospect of staying alive for billions of years mapping exoplanets, contributing in every way I can.

Until we reach a Type 10 civilization and beyond, I'm not sure when I might want to hang up my coat.

Still if I can't make it to the singularity, that's cool also, after all life is meaningless.

I'm chill with anything.

I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...

Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...

How did they manage to come up with such a bug? The only things there should be numbers or an arrow, not meaningless Hebrew letters.

Anything i try in this life, it fails. I have done hundreds, and have 0 successful projects. When someone asks me "what have you done in these 1/4th of a century existing on this useless floating space rock?" ...... I have nothing to say. It would appear as if I've done Nothing. I have nothing to showcase of projects because its not running live on production. It's all on private repositories. The more i try the harder i fail. I am energy drained. I am uninspired. I am unmotivated. Seeing how some 19 year old NOBODY kid just comes out of nowhere, makes NFT project, scams people for millions of dollars and haves fun in his life and doesnt have to work anymore, is fueling me with RAGE. This is starting to become madness. Am i having too high goals and ambitions and that's why i percieve myself as if im unsuccessful? But how is that possible if a 19 year old nobody is capable of becoming a multi millionaire by scamming people in web3? If i lower my goal expectations, then I have no reason to live. I wouldnt care if i die tomorrow or continue living. I wouldnt bother looking left right while crossing the road because I Do Not Care. What must i do to succeed just Once and meet my goals and expectations? I dont understand. I hate life. Life is empty and meaningless. I have became a Nihilist and i believe in that religion more than anything. It makes no sense that someone scams millions by doing jack shit at a young age while someone struggles and tries hard his whole life and still isnt successful even 0.01% of what the 19 year old is. IT. IS. NOT. FAIR.

Living life on auto-pilot mode.
Whatever happens, happens.

Why does every fucking agile presentation have to have those dumb, meaningless white stick figures in meaningless positions that only serve to fill up whitespace

License files.

People don't read them.

They are longer than they should be.
Mostly to hide evil shit the developers are doing.

I am now going to start including the complete works of Shakespeare in my license files.

This means it will have evil shit other people have done included in the file. Will most likely make it meaningless. Nobody will read it anyway.

At the very end I will just write: Don't be a dick.

Sleep sort
The most meaningless hacky code I have seen in a while not to mention it's not even correct

I think that people are awesome in general each with their own story and personality.
But..but..not when they spread all the negativity around them.
I made the best decision ever when decided to avoid meaningless conversations where every phrase ends with "this semester/teacher/course sucks". Now I smoke alone and don't hang out in areas in school where most likely people are going to ask questions.
Saves so much time and energy.

Trying to look busy.

I'm so done just telling my boss I'm bored and there's nothing to do. He gives me something meaningless to do because I'm salary so my 40 hours has to be full of something.

I really wouldn't mind doing 50 or 60 hour weeks if there was shit to do but there's just not.

The biggest problem I see with current state of AI is the feedback loop it creates in people.

For example, some (usually older people in higher positions) perceive long emails as a sign of courtesy, involvement, and hard work. As a result, others have started using AI to write longer emails for them, to get on "the good side" with their higher ups. And now that many use AI to generate longer emails, those same higher ups got used to it and started to perceive short, straight-to-the-point emails as "rude". So even more people are looking into using AI to generate longer emails as they don't want to seem rude. At that rate it's not long until those that rely on AI to write "better" (== longer) emails get promoted over some hard working person who simply doesn't care to write long emails.

Even though AI didn't do anything, it somehow still "trained" people to start using it and even rely on it, and it even indirectly rewards people who use it for completely meaningless and seemingly unrelated tasks. And in a few years, whatever comes out of this will be used to train the next generations of AI, creating even more of a feedback loop that people will be completely unaware of until it eventually crashes onto itself. Because that loop can't be observed in the AI itself, it has to be observed in the people.

Am I the only person who hates people using "intuitive" when giving feedback about interface design? It's *completely* meaningless. Heck, this isn't even my design that's being critiqued and the comments make my skin crawl.

"It works well, but it's not very intuitive"

"Can we make this section of the interface more intuitive somehow?"

"I don't think our customers are finding it very intuitive, they're having lots of issues"

If I had my way everyone using the word would be kicked out of the meeting and made to wear an "I'm a moron" t-shirt for the rest of the week, especially the smug arses that act as though they've just said something profound.

terraform plan: Everything is great! The sun is shining, the birds are singing. Go ahead.

terraform apply: Everything is meaningless. I’m staying in bed and eating Doritos. Nothing works. Nothing makes sense.

@notRant
The devRant team seem quite humble. I feel it's quite important to have a humble face to your user base, because without it, our jobs as devs would be meaningless, even if you develop a cool app like {{ $coolApps[0] }}.
@include('funny_meme.jpg')
@endNotRant

the worst project without without documentation I had to work with was a huge web 1.0 webapp that had been compiled / uglified into a huge blob of javascript with meaningless variable- and function names that were no longer than 3 characters. needless to say, the original source code was gone and the original author as well. Spent weeks figuring out where to implement the new feature, while it could have been a few hours of work.

Indigogo is to retail what ICOs are to he financial industry.

- some random people think of an idea (ICO = token, IGO = magical dick cream)

- they both rely on well made but completely horse-shit marketing material

- they both spam your sites with the same repetitive ads

- they both offer discounts for getting in early (aka give us money before we have designed or built anything)

- they both make outlandish and sometimes illegal product claims (ICO = Visa is a partner, IGO = magic dick cream does magic things)

- in the end most of both options ends up giving you nothing at all and just running away with your money

- best case scenario they both deliver a product that is utterly worthless and meaningless

- everyone is hunting for that one coin or product that is a not a total scam.

I don’t hate indigogo but they certainly are shady as fuck. I’ve rolled the dice on then 4 times and got scammed on 2 of them. It’s basically a crap shoot.

PHP are you freaking kidding me right now? Why are you forcing me to write ugly and meaningless code like this?

Today I just learned that boolval("false") will return true.

I'd deffo expect this from casting operators, but not from a function which even has val inside of its name.

What purpose is to have functions like these in language if they just serve as plain wrapper for casting operators

Your code is 6ix9ine. Stupid, meaningless lines, and also a snitch, selling data left and right.

My code is always MF DOOM.

Been working on this project for the last 9 months, it's 1000 times bigger than the original spec, but the worst part of the whole experience is the god damn Microsoft Access database and migrating data from it.

Wanky encoding, references that aren't actually linked up, ID's that aren't unique, meaningless columns and table names.

Pushed me to the edge.

I recently got rejected for a couple of jobs I was going for, no dramas they both wanted someone with a bit more experience.

They both returned feedback which I like, much better than getting ghosted.

But one of them said that they didn’t “see any enthusiasm for IT/Technology throughout the interview”

This annoyed me a little as I’m not entirely sure how they measured this I’ve the course of a 40 minute teams meeting. Especially given my work and study history etc.

Has anyone else ever had anything like this given as part of a reason why you didn’t get a job, and if so did you do anything to rectify it or just ignore it as meaningless feedback?

— You and other scientists like you., — my sister said after tasting a half cake half cookie, made with wall mold instead of yeast. — You liked to say “no fate”, implying each one chooses their own path as science liberated them. People are equal. You’re right though: they are. They’re equally fragile and meaningless. They indeed have no fate; not because of freedom, but because the bomb you made will obliterate everyone on this planet. There will be no survivors. No fate indeed.
— Wait, but…, — I replied.
— Now go. Lay down in an empty hall somewhere its not real, generated procedurally. You dying there will maybe make me forgive you.

It's funny how alcohol actually makes you remember all the crazy shit you had to deal with.

As when I was a junior c# programmer at an ERP shop.

I was new, naive and full of energy.

I used to dive deep into the code base, and one of the things I noticed but didn't pay too much attention was.

Error stacks were usually meaningless.

And why was that?

First, well it was c#.

Second, the guys use to do this.

try {
ThrowingFunction();
} catch (Exception e ) {
throw e;
}

PS: I'm not doing c# anymore, that was 10 years ago. So syntax might be a bit off.

In the zone, disrupted for meaningless meeting. 😭

At 4am there was some random youtuber in my head that reads reddit posts and he presents me one but it's blurry and he says hi there how you there are stupid but how stupid you are, humming hammers,
MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI he's insecure go back then hayeens HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS and he never stops
It literally feels like a broken neural network output, meaningless. But it's in my head, I never asked for this but it's there generating itself

anyone else having this weird bug that when you scroll down under a rant, nothing happens and scroll bar grows to infinity? (only tested in firefox, rambox)
when i manually scroll very fast i might "skip" this behavior and actually be able to scroll through comments under a rant, but when i scroll up too much it jumps to the top again. ^^'
if required, i can upload a meaningless, blurry video filmed with my phone in catastrophe mode (portrait)

Front-end web development is like a fucking cancer to me right now

I need the following behavior from my development environment if I don't want the webdev experience to destroy my sanity and tempt me into suicide by making me waste my valuable lifetime configuring shit that is ultimately meaningless to the software I'm trying to create:

- I should be able to open the webpage in the browser at localhost:<some-port>
- the page should refresh immediately as I save my files
- I should be able to import node modules installed with npm without using a script tag linking to some CDN (for instance, I want to do a get request with axios instead of the fetch API)
- I should be able to do this without spending more than two minutes reading the documentation for a tool that would enable me to do it, ideally without ever coming even close to touching a configuration file

Right now I know about browser-sync and webpack, or webpack-dev-server or some such fucking shit fuck fucking fuck.

browser-sync seems to fulfill most of these needs, except that I can't seem to bring npm modules into my application and import them. Webpack seems to be able to do this, but at the cost of slowly throwing my life away reading documentation for over-complicated configuration files that do not aid me in actual software creation and therefore do not interest me and never will, all in the hope that I *may* at some point dig out enough shit to find how to do such a use case (i.e. seamless, smooth web development) that to me feels reasonably common and expected.

Is there some tool that enables me to do *seamless*, pleasurable web development without the hassles of over-complication and over-engineering? Is there some hidden command for webpack that allows me to run such simple shit without ever needing to edit some pointless configuration file?

Please, I beg of you, let me know.

It would seem that "code freeze" has become a meaningless term to our systems engineering team. Sure we can sneak in another feature or eight that you felt it beneath you to negotiate on time. That you couldn't make the decision on until now, even though your job is to make these decisions so that we can stay on schedule. This is why systems is a fucking year behind.

Image you fire 10 resumes each day. No reply. Image you do 2 interviews each day. Got rejected. Image you cold email 10 companies. No reply. Life is meaningless and useless. Looking for job atm, pm me if you have one. The thing I can do is do side projects and keep applying. Life is sucked.

Why do I always have to refactor bad written code ? Is this some kind of karma ?
Undocumented, written by a senior but looks like it was a junior, no unit tests, variables with meaningless names, duplicated code and every possible thing you can find in that kind of code.

Feeling over stressed, over worked and highly underpaid for all this effort. Worst of all I feel the passion leaving me for this work.

I graduated a boot camp last April and was blessed to contract part time at a startup learning how to work in the unity game engine. The team is two other guys, both super smart snd been working in this field for a long time. Since then I’ve added personal projects, finished a data structures and algorithms course and started the Leet code grind. I told this startup that I’d start looking for full time employee positions soon and they understand. They couldn’t offer me much money, or stock options, just experience they said. I feel like I’ve basically been grinding 24/7 since May. I’m going to run out of money soon and it’s all starting to take a toll on my body and mind. I never really sit on the couch or watch something anymore because I feel I should be doing something productive. This just makes me feel like everything I’m doing is meaningless and without impact. I feel like a wheel turning endlessly in sand and not moving forward. I even feel it zapping my passion for developing.

I just can’t help but feel that I’m burning out here. I have a new experimental feature to do for the startup and the amount of things to learn seems overwhelming. Especially with Leet code and interviews coming up. The two other devs on the team are extremely busy as this is a part time endeavor for everyone. I’m also in a relationship I started to feel detached from which causes it’s own stress. I love VR and AR which is why I chose this startup to learn Unity. Now I just feel like I’m dividing my efforts too much. I’m shitty at unity and also less good at web dev than I would have been if I focused on it purely after boot camp grad. On the plus side I will say I’m doing what I want. I just can’t help but feel like that damn tire in the sand turning without traction. And I feel the patience in me for self learning the basics and iteration over a complex project is waning. Without patience the learning is rushed and I don’t learn shit. I also make dumb mistake and “hope” I don’t run into errors. I feel I’m just trying to bang it out for the startup instead of use it learn cool shit. Anyways it feels good to rant. I can’t wait for a full time job, established work hours, and decent pay so I can live life and have off time.

I assume wherever I go I’ll always be in a spot where I need to figure how to get xyz done with minimal help or oversight. I just would like to be paid for it.

Im beginning to think im stuck in an infinite loop of learning. This fucking bullshit never stops. I just continuously keep learning new shit and the more shit i learn the more i realize how much bullshit i still have to learn

It creates an illusion as if i know nothing

Just when i thought i see the end of the horizon and reach it only then i realize it just keeps on going into oblivion, as a sphere

Its like im trying to catch and find a corner of a sphere

There aint none

Its pointless

Is it also pointless to keep learning like this?

Perhaps this whole existence is pointless

Real talk now whats the point of existence bro

No matter what you do or dont do it doesnt matter

No matter if you're successful or not it doesnt matter

No matter if you learn all the bullshit in the world you're still gonna die and it wont matter

No matter how much i learn, it still and will always appear as if its not enough to these shitface recruiters and companies, to them it doesnt matter

Nothing matters. Everything is empty and meaningless. The entire life itself is. I dont value life. I dont care if i live or die. I feel no joy when i succeed and i feel no sadness when i fail

The tiny little bit of joy or success cannot outweight the years of sadness depression emptiness and failure the life has dumped onto me in spite of my hard work and continuous learning

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

!dev philosophical

Quality vs Opinion

I have a feeling that these things have always been at odds with each other and now with the constant connectedness it has just become more apparent that most people don’t understand the difference (or even realize there is a difference for that matter)

Let’s face it. Most people have awful taste. They listen to whatever new music their radio station decides was hot. They watch whatever show everyone else is watching. They are manipulated by large scale news organizations...

Basically, most people are sheep.

The problem is that sheep are a dangerous combination of loud and stupid. Giving these loud stupid sheep a platform to amplify their voice is a bad idea for a society, but a great tool for the pigs to manipulate them.

“Frightened though they were, some of the animals might possibly have protested, but at this moment the sheep set up their usual bleating of "Four legs good, two legs bad," which went on for several minutes and put an end to the discussion.”

This isn’t confined to one political party or view, it isn’t geographic, it isn’t based on education, it isn’t based on wether a person is ethical or not...

It’s universal.

You can translate “four legs good, two legs bad” into Agent Orange and his followers chanting “lock her up” just as well as it could be translated into the angry leaders of the modern feminist movement.

In both cases (both on opposite ends of the ethical spectrum) you have the loudest dumb, angry sheep getting the even dumber sheep to chant along, wether it is good for them or not.

Now to loop this back. The problem is that dumb sheep are emotional. They truly believe that they are NOT dumb and that their opinions and emotions are a measure of quality.

I FEEL bad, and you are talking to me, so you must BE bad.

I don’t LIKE this amazingly well made movie, so it must BE bad.

And anyone else who has a different opinion is just wrong. Anyone who try’s to explain the merits of the other side is either my enemy or is stupid.
^^^
Their opinion, incorrect.

————

Now for the tough part...

Most likely, based on probability, you are a sheep.

Yes, you! The smartest person you know. The guy/girl who has a degree or masters of a PHD. The person who builds amazing software. You! Are. A. Sheep. And you are dangerous to the world.

To put a cherry on top.

No, you opinions are not important. Your feelings are fucking meaningless. Your morals are worthless. Your voice has as much value and a loose asshole fart from a fat guy trapped in a deep well in Siberia.

But don’t get down about this. It’s doesn’t make you any less of a person. Remember that almost every person who has ever lived in history has been a sheep. They have chanted one useless, dangerous, misguided, harmful chant after another through the ages.

————

To those of you who try not to be sheep. Just keep trying to get a little better every day. When someone says...

“We do it this way because we have always done it this way”

... be skeptics. Explore the merits and logic of the situation.

And if you are tired of being led by stupid sheep then save some money, build something cool and start your own business.

Just remember, you will always need the sheep. They will be your employees, your friends, your bosses, your investors etc.

Treat them well, don’t hate them, and if you ever find yourself leading a pack of sheep then try to keep a healthy distance from their chanting while leading them down the right path.

They will thank you for it in the end.

———

PS. For those of you thinking “this is very judgemental and self centred”

All I can do is to try to speak your language....

Baaaahhhhh, baaahhhhh, bahhhhh

Which translates form sheep to human as...

“Eat a dick. Have a nice day”

My answer to their survey -->

What, if anything, do you most _dislike_ about Firebase In-App Messaging?

Come on, have you sit a normal dev, completely new to this push notification thing and ask him to make run a simple app like the flutter firebase_messaging plugin example? For sure you did not oh dear brain dead moron that found his college degree in a Linux magazine 'Ruby special edition'.

Every-f**kin thing about that Firebase is loose end. I read all Medium articles, your utterly soporific documentation that never ends, I am actually running the flutter plugin example firebase_messaging. Nothing works or is referenced correctly: nothing. You really go blind eyes in life... you guys; right? Oh, there is a flimsy workaround in the 100th post under the Github issue number 10 thousand... lets close the crash report. If I did not change 50 meaningless lines in gradle-what-not files to make your brick-of-puke to work, I did not changed a single one.

I dream of you, looking at all those nonsense config files, with cross side eyes and some small but constant sweat, sweat that stinks piss btw, leaving your eyes because you see the end, the absolute total fuckup coming. The day where all that thick stinky shit will become beyond salvation; blurred by infinite uncontrolled and skewed complexity; your creation, your pathetic brain exposed for us all.

For sure I am not the first one to complain... your whole thing, from the first to last quark that constitute it, is irrelevant; a never ending pile of non sense. Someone with all the world contained sabotage determination would not have done lower. Thank you for making me loose hours down deep your shit show. So appreciated.

The setup is: servers, your crap-as-a-service and some mobile devices. For Christ sake, sending 100 bytes as a little [ beep beep + 'hello kitty' ] is not fucking rocket science. Yet you fuckin push it to be a grinding task ... for eternity!!!

You know what, you should invent and require another, new, useless key-value called 'Registration API Key Plugin ID Service' that we have to generate and sync on two machines, everyday, using something obscure shit like a 'Gradle terminal'. Maybe also you could deprecate another key, rename another one to make things worst and I propose to choose a new hash function that we have to compile ourselves. A good candidate would be a C buggy source code from some random Github hacker... who has injected some platform dependent SIMD code (he works on PowerPC and have not test on x64); you know, the guy you admire because he is so much more lowlife that you and has all the Pokemon on his desk. Well that guy just finished a really really rapid hash function... over GPU in a server less fashion... we have an API for it. Every new user will gain 3ms for every new key. WOW, Imagine the gain over millions of users!!! Push that in the official pipe fucktard!.. What are you waiting for? Wait, no, change the whole service name and infrastructure. Move everything to CLSG (cloud lambda service ... by Google); that is it, brilliant!

And Oh, yeah, to secure the whole void, bury the doc for the new hash under 3000 words, lost between v2, v1 and some other deprecated doc that also have 3000 and are still first result on Google. Finally I think about it, let go the doc, fuck it... a tutorial, for 'weak ass' right.
One last thing, rewrite all your tech in the latest new in house language, split everything in 'femto services' => ( one assembly operation by OS process ) and finally cramp all those in containers... Agile, for sure it has to be Agile. Users will really appreciate the improvements of your mandatory service.

After a few years at one company, most of the colleagues that take their dev education seriously have left. We had a mini community keeping ourselves up to speed as technology progresses. As time passed, I've noticed that I'm stagnating which is one of the biggest signs, for me, that I should move somewhere.

I'm now at a new company, working on a project that is in a much worse place than any of the project I've worked on previously.

I've done my due diligence and checked the company before joining, of course. And I've asked all the questions I wanted to know so I can know with some level of certainty whether we're the right fit. Sadly, that definitely didn't turn out to be true.

I'm currently working on tasks that any intern/junior can work on, while being paid a senior salary. There are a lot of areas in the project where I can spend my time more efficiently, e.g. stability, performance. But, it turns out that swapping colors, brushing some css here and there is more important to the client than fixing very, very unstable project.

And I'm not the share holder. It's not up to me to decide. The only thing I can comment with certainty is, why just not hire 2 juniors that can do the same work I do right now, instead of wasting my time/energy on meaningless tasks and such boring issues that I've left behind years ago. I've emphasized that being challenged is very important to me, and I'm given breadcrumbs to deal with.

And I'm unsure what to do now. I don't want to be that guy leaving just a few months after joining. Should I wait it out? I already mentioned that I don't think I'm properly utilized to lead dev and PM. I guess I should give them a month or two to see whether something will change?

Manager took a week off to work on his house. Today he doesn't show up on Slack until after noon and says he's "catching up on e-mails." He praises how there are fewer DNS issues what what we did must have worked .... all praise from him feels hollow and meaningless.

This world really hands you jack all. And everytime it's going well it smack you down just for good measure. What people say is mostly meaningless. "Oh I stand for this and that", yeah I saw that when you did the exact opposite while fucking me over like im not worthy of being treated like a human

Hey, at least it's a nice serving of reality for a naive fool like me. "Never expect anything nice from anyone": Noted

Can’t sleep these days.
Life sucks, death sucks more.
Computers break nowadays
My keyboard is full of dirt ore.
I miss two keys up and down
so looks there is no hell or heaven.
Twitch data leak is downloading slow,
I made buns in the oven.
I’m in the spiral of death,
my born was meaningless,
hot milk is hurting my teeth,
I use it to invoke sleepiness.
Nothing works,
everyone showoff
everything breaks,
I’m powering off

write comment about posters preference of device or OS.

close eyes and imagine the meaningless flame war that would follow.

delete comment.

feel good about choice.

good for me.

How to beat AI Boss:

- feed dirty, meaningless, populated by 'Nan's data.

I get frustrated about the shitty work I'm forced to do to meet useless deadlines or follow meaningless ever changing consultant ideas.

I write a rant.

People in devrant suggest me best practices, solutions, tools, even technical steps.

I write this meta-devrant.

Devrant refuse to add more than 1 rant every 2 hours.
Fuck.

Has anyone engineered getting layoff before?

I don't know why, but I dread waking up to the job. It all seems meaningless and a waste of time. I know I'm coming from a place of privilege. But what's the point of doing something you abhor and trading your life for money on shit you hate?

I just had to drill an error reporter through the entire Orchid codebase for multiple fatal error reporting. The caller constructs a reporter and passes it into the interpreter, various internal interpreter functions put errors into it and return meaningless but valid substitute values, then the caller checks the reporter for recorded errors and avoids using the return value if there were any.

I have recreated ERRNO in a high level language.

I just been feeling really burned out recently to the point I just feel things are just meaningless. I feel unappreciated at work or by people in my life. I appreciate myself but the pandemic is really getting to me. I had to take a break from studying at times when I couldn't focus or got too out of touch. I'm usually better than this.

I tried reaching out as I continue to put up with my current consulting position, study and job searching when I'm not too burned out. I just feel alone in this. Can anyone relate?

I feel very frustrated about this situation. I'm studying so I haven't many time to work but I worked last two years and now I feel as a bird with clipped wings. I need a side project, something mine, to work on, to put myself in. I don't need to get money from it but the revenue it's only a confirmation about the success provided by hard work and dedication. I can't fill this emptiness with the study. I feel I just need to work on something I believe, see it grows up and came alive. Every project I start and every line of code I write seems meaningless. This situation is a strange existential drama and hurts me. It's like I forgot how to be satisfied programming. I live in this recurrent melancholy and I don't feel realized.
Sorry for the sad rant but I need some suggestions from someone who can understand me.

CSSBattle leaderboards are meaningless. CSS code golf makes no sense whatsoever!

At 4am there was some random youtuber in my head that reads reddit posts and he presents me one but it’s blurry and he says hi there how you there are stupid but how stupid you are, humming hammers, MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI he’s insecure go back then hayeens HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS and he never stops

It literally feels like a broken neural network output, meaningless. But it’s in my head, I never asked for this but it’s there generating itself

Me, taking a coding class in uni:
Purposely cramping everything in as few lines as possible, making the code barely readable, just to screw with the guy who had to correct this mess.
In my defence, the assignment they gave us was garbage. The task descriptions were often ambiguous or even contradictory to what actually was the case ("The InputStream will contain a string of csv data, each element starts in the next line" -> was a malformed single line string) and the automated tests they wrote to check our output where either completely unhelpful because of their meaningless error messages, or sometimes even plain wrong, telling us our output was wrong, even though it definitely wasn't.

So, I've been at my current job for 2.5 years, I think I'm pretty close to a promotion.

Problem is, I'm feeling fucking burnt out, I don't enjoy my work at all. Part of it is office politics, part of it is my work feeling meaningless.

I've thought of looking for other jobs, but they all either want a ton of experience I don't have, or they pay way less than my current job.

I've also screwed up a couple of interviews because I just didn't seem interested in the other company (I think, it's hard to get good feedback from interviews, but when you get screened out by the recruiter it's not because of technical skills).

I'm just feeling fucking exhausted and wanted to vent, anyone else felt similar?

How would you approach choosing a fairly short but meaningful domain name? Common words are obviously going to be taken.

I have a handful of domain names used for different things, but my main one is 17 characters long and made up of 2 words and not particularly interesting (my surname + another word). It's relatively easy to read out to people over the phone, but inputting it in a phone handset or on a device without a keyboard (e.g. setting the hostname + domain of a media centre with a remote control) is a bit tiresome.

Doesn't even have to be something I can say easily as I mainly want it just for "infrastructure" purposes rather than to host a website etc.

I'd probably use it for sign-up e-mails to reduce the amount of spam/newsletter mail (I do generate a separate address for signing up to most services) but other than that wouldn't be using it regularly for e-mail.

But I don't want something meaningless like abcxyz.

String s = "Rant";
boolean b = true;
if (s != b) {
System.out.println ("Sometimes i hate LinkedIn, so many recruiters or companies have meaningless descriptions.. why should i even apply for a job, if they don't describe their offers, specs and so on"
}

doing documentation in word and having meetings about it, code reviews where people say great code quality with all good practices but... we would like to do it differently, reasons? less lines of code but real reason is not understanding design patterns, also 6 levels of hierarchy and wasted effort to prove that approach is good and considered as good practice just to be changed by someone who doesn't write code anymore. Decisions that other approach is better because they did it that way 10 years ago on last project where they were developers on totally different tech stack. dear friends, welcome to corporation!

I am SO TIRED of marketing teams imposing their tools to developers. I am TIRED of all those crappy old libraries or meaningless APIs

Do people put their OSS projects on their CV? I'm trying to put together a decent graduate CV and the non-tech people around me insist that I should put "the research projects I spend so much time on" on it, but I'm pretty sure that as long as there's a Github link the rows full of jargon combined with meaningless names that would be a project list do more harm than good.

It sucks when you are unable to work on any new features in forever and mainly spend time updating the existing code base, doing visual designs & documenting the application.

Let me please work on a new feature that the clients will use instead of meaningless busy work

I am legit getting tired of trying to help people improve and hit huge roadblocks because nobody seem to care if what we do works for the intended purpose.

I have seen some terrible unstable code that fails 50% of the time on run time and never was reviewed or tested on core software, but since it was worth a lot of story points, people get congratulated for finishing it but nobody bothers checking if it really works in the first place. Story points are meaningless in this Agilefall Frankenstein shit process we use and bosses keep saying they will improve it but nothing gets done.

Worst thing is my work often depends on this shit.

I swear one of my good colleague and I are trying to introduce commit and PR gating, code review, code quality to avoid as much problems as possible while speeding up CI and documentation but 90% of devs do not give a single fuck about it. They just bypass it with admin rights because it supposedly slows them down.

When I bring up to management that the processes are terrible, I get the classic "we can't force people to use these processes because we have to respect their work ethics and it is different from yours." While I get that some things are subjective, in this case that's a lot of words to say they suck and give no fucks.

Sorry for the rant, it is starting affect my morale and efficiency at work, but I know every workplace got its problems.

I'm not a programmer, I just know how to put one stupid meaningless cryptic character after another.

fac←{×/⍳⍵}

next week im buying my first ever car. its gonna be a benz. im literally taking a cash credit loan from a bank B, just for deposit of the car, and then taking another loan from bank A, to be able to buy the car on leasing for the next 3 years.

basically I'll be giving away my whole entire salary of 2024 that i worked as devops engineer, plus cash credit, plus leasing credit, just for a fucking deposit of the car, and the car costs only 35,000 fucking euros €!

thats not a big fucking deal. ppl drive 90,000€ cars every fucking day. or 50,000€ cars as an average. i am buying a below average car, or for me The Bare Minimum Car... and i still struggle like hell to do it.

im willing to go broke buying this car bc a car would never cheat on me. it would never lie to me. a beautiful car standing outside of my house always there to remind me why this meaningless fucking existence called life, is still worth living.

a car for me is beyond just a car or art. it gives me meaning to continue living. life by default for me is valueless. a beautiful car and mine, finally generates value of life. every time i get depressed (which is every day) i take a nice night ride in my new benz

its a 2020 car. and im satisfied with it. i also got offers to buy the brand new 2024 one. but that shit is almost twice as much in costs. dont have money for that shit. I'd need to work my shit job for at least 3 more months and save every penny JUST FOR DEPOSIT.

out of my budget.

im buying a CLA class. i wanted C class but that shit mad expensive! i think A class is too cheap for me so the only class i can afford and not look cheap is CLA. C class is the next tier. I'd need 2 more salaries for C class but only 1 more salary for CLA, hence next week (first week of september)

hopefully, this new car will get me new whores. i really do hope that whores will fuck w a nice car and want to finally go out with me. i dont care if they're using me for money (which im not even gonna have). i care about using these whores as a form of revenge for my ex whore blonde cheating on me for the past 2+ years

so aside from clearing my mind of bullshit by driving a nice car at night which i fully bought myself no handouts, driving whores in it would just be cherry on top of the cake. a bonus.

lets see how it goes.

Thinking to start smoking 🚬

Never tried it once in 26 years not even a sip even refused temptations from school friends

Now by starting a job, i have no security, ironically. I feel like i stepped at the leap of a bottomless pit and tomorrow i jump into it and fall... and fall....and fall..... No end.

I have no idea how to use ansible and rexify.org and thats what I'll need to use. I have no idea how to do devops with Azure, and thats what ill do. I only build devops with terraform on Aws.

The unknown of 9-5 is frightening me more than starting a business. Paradoxically, i think it would come as a relief to get fired within the first week from failing to complete literally everything

On top of that my blonde gf disappeared yesterday for 3-4 hours. No texts no phone calls. Called for 2 times no answer. Called 3rd time and got a voice message the phone was shut down. 3-4 hours later she said she was with mom at shopping and didnt have internet

I also caught her texting some random guy on instagram. They both have vanish mode enabled (texts delete themselves as soon as you leave the conversation). Confronted her today. She wont tell me the truth. Likes his pics on ig. Keeps lying. On a question "why do you have vanish mode enabled with him?" her answer is "well i guess married men always use vanish mode"

Im tired

Too much shit unraveling. The opening of 2024 already doesnt look good

Why do good people die in accidents or diseases but i dont and i live? Shits unfair. Why doesnt nature/God fucking kill me? I beg to die. I hope to die. I pray for something to kill me. It would come as such a relief.

This life is meaningless and empty to me. typeof(life) yields a void. I dont value it. Its shit. Whether succeed or fail its meaningless. Nihilism was right

I am literally a walking dead. Physically moving but spiritually dead. Mentally lost. I am the captain of a ship in the middle of the ocean who no longer knows where the ship is going

Why cant i just get cancer or something. Can cigarettes help me get it? Cause I'll start consuming that shit right away to speedrun that process

End it

i want some fucking answers to this fucking meaningless existence called fucking life, an existence where you only suffer until you fucking die, get cheated on by a whore after doing everything right, whoever designed it this way is a fucking shithead, dipshit fucking retard

Does anybody know how to make the story points from sub-tasks in Jira count towards reports when they're completed?

This graph is completely meaningless.

(Metà)

I hate the “life sucks and is meaningless ihihihi” millennial humor and I hate it even more when I find it here on DevRant

After we’re finished diminishing the English language to a heaping pile of meaningless tripe I have a meeting with the grand Poobah. Apparently in addition to having an issue with this they also don’t feel like dressing as giant multicolored owls in clown paint is practical

Oh and hail ruby !