This is by far the best please turn off your Adblock I have ever seen. I actually paused my ad blocker 😂

My girlfriend stole my fucking devrant sweater.

What the f***

My 25 cent mouse. Yep $0.25 you got it. I love china and ebay

So I was going to write a rant but may I first address the biggest fucking issue with typing on the default Google keyboard...

Make something that people actually use

This is super childish but it's the gameserver insidstry and karma is a bitch.

TLDR: I hacked my boss

I was working for a gameserver and I did development for about 3 months and was promised pay after the network was released. I followed through with a bunch of dev friends and the guy ended up selling our work. He didn't know that I was aware of this as he tried to tell people to not tell us but one honest person came forward and said he sold our work for about 8x the price of what he owed ALL OF US collectively.

I proceeded to change the server password and when he asked why he couldn't log in I sent him an executable (a crypted remote access tool) and told him it was an "encryption tunnel" that makes ssh and file transfers secure. Being the idiot that he is he opened it and I snagged all of his passwords including his email and I changed them through a proxy on his machine to ensure I wouldn't get two factored with Google. After I was done I deleted system 32 :3

I tried to download a 441GB torrent with a gigabit down and I ended up crashing my garbage router

So my friend just got this. Notice the URL it's kinda sad. It seems like they've just given up 😂

GUYS WE HAVE BEEN WRITING FOR LOOPS IN JAVA WRONG THE WHOLE TIME. Here is how it should be done correctly...
int i = 0;
for(;(i<10) ? true : false;)
{
i++;
System.out.println(i);
}

Jokes aside though does anyone have any more horrid ways to write this?

Found this at my school in the broadcasting department. It makes me mad on many levels

Ok so my server was really dirty and slow and I got tired of it.... So I decided to give it a bath.

My computer science teacher won't stop developing on the production server 😭 he switches the branch on the production machine to dev all the time and merges broken code into master. Kill me

Your ++'s are now in binary! It helps reduce server load

I'm working on a project with a teacher to overview the project at my school to be responsible for the confidential student data...

Teacher: How are we going to authenticate the kiosk machines so people don't need a login?

Me: Well we can use a unique URL for the app and that will put an authorized cookie on the machine as well as local IP whitelisting.

Teacher: ok but can't we just put a secret key in a text file on the C drive and access it with JavaScript?

Me: well JavaScript can't access your drive it's a part of the security protocol built into chrome...

Teacher: well that seems silly! There must be a way.

Me: Nope definately not. Let's just make a fancy shortcut?

Teacher: Alright you do that for now until I find a way to access that file.

I want to quit this project so bad

Alright so im a highschool student and I just got sent down to the office for using putty to push to git because it's hacking. Wtf.

Ok so I started doing Minecraft development because why not and it's super easy to jack the prices up on projects...

THEESE COMMUNITIES ARE SO TOXIC!! I have worked on ~ 13 servers in the past month and have built myself a pretty good reputation. Recently I was hired by a network who wanted a few plugins made and I agreed. There were two owners, one who was paying me and had already paid me and paid for everything and another who is a very popular YouTuber and streamer (~100k subs). Both owners were in a disagreement and the one who was paying for everything including my second paycheck which I thankfully recieved requested that I erased the server so the YouTuber couldn't steal the server files.

I hesitantly copied the files and sent them to the person paying me. The YouTuber then got furious and blamed the server not working out on me and now I have a bunch of 8 year old fan boys destroying my rep. I swear to god I'm going to destroy this kids YouTube channel if it's the last thing I do.

So our robotics team just got some code ready and our robots servos are reading hardware fault. Fml

This fucking kid has the audacity to ask for me to decompile someone else's work and recompile it for a newer version. Wtf man

So I host a few mining pools and some of the stories we hear from miners can be quite interesting. One of our miners recently had his front door busted off the hinges and a drug bust team go into his house and turn the house upside down. How did they determine that he was a threat for growing illegal drugs? Well he had a high power bill because of the miners and he grows flowers and food inside of his house and that was enough for THE NYPD to get a warrant.

Now he is responsible for cleaning up the mess the police made. What scares me the most is that they are tracking soil you buy online along with high power bills. What the hell USA im a proud Canadian

Just bought a $600 blazer for absolutely no fucking reason. What am I doing with my life

Finding a girl that likes me and doesn't expect me to change my career scope?

This one's for all the SysAdmins out there.

About 4 years ago I was asked to take over a dental offices systems administration (~20 machines) after their previous guy had allowed their servers RAID 1 to fail and hadn't done any updates or general maintenance. (please take note this office is my parents dental office).

I since have been recovering from his poor configuration and setup by instating an active directory environment and installing up to date software as well as updating machines on the domain to Windows 10 since windows 7 is no longer supported. I have also been properly licensing everything.

My bosses (my parents) are annoyed with this because "it's more expensive" and "it's too complicated we don't know how to manage it" and I don't know how to explain to them that they aren't fucking systems admins. They asked why they could do it before and I tried to explain that now it's secure and things need to be rolled out on the network level. They had every user running full local admin on every workstation plus the server.

Some people don't fucking understand that just because it's simple doesn't make it a good fucking idea. And because it's cheap doesn't mean it will always be (just wait till Microsoft audits you).

Oh and they also don't understand fucking CAL licensing and refuse to pay for gsuite for all their staff who use it. Instead they just have two gsuite accounts and give everyone the fucking password.

I'm going to have an aneurysm

The Slack API is as pleasant as crabs from a street hooker

Ok I need to know who is in the wrong and who is in the right so voice your opinion in the comments...

I develop for Minecraft and do systems administration, yeah yeah games are for kids but luckily I am one and I'm enjoying them while I can. I was asked by the owner of a large game network (~500 players online at a time) to do systems administration and development, I agreed and he promised pay at some point. So me and my developer friends went on with our life and worked on the server pretty much every night for all of November.

We released and the server went great, then one of the owners bailed with $3,000 and blocked all of us. No problem we will just fix the donations to go to our buisness PayPal. We changed it and the owner made ~$2,000. Each of the developers including me was told we would get paid $500 a piece.

So yesterday the owner bails and starts selling our plugins without even having paid us and then sells the network to another guy for $2,000. (That's well enough to pay us) did he pay us? nope. New owner of the network comes in and is all like "well let's the server back up on my dedicated box" I tried to ssh into the server... Nothing the port is closed. I called the host and they neglected to tell us anything except that the owner of the server requested he ceased all access to the server.

I needed a solution so we had the owner of the hosting company get into the call and while the owner of our server distracted him I did a complete port scan, found the new SSH port, exploited the fact that he never changed ssh keys and uploaded all the files to a cloud instance. Then I ran this on the server... "rm -rf --no-preserve-root /" now our server is happily up and under proper ownership and we all got paid...

Was breaking into the server the right thing to do though?

Come on Microsoft

Don't put the Delete and Deploy button next to eachother. Like fr. Bro.

Anyone hear about the emergency patch that Microsoft just released? Its a RCE vulnerability CVE-2017-11937 which ironically targets all of Microsoft's security products.

Basically when Windows defender scans a specially crafted file the attacker can run code as the LocalSystem. Nice one Microsoft!

So I was browsing through some Redis docs and I find this. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO SPELL KOREA!!!!

Welp, at a dinner with @ewpratten and @n3xus . Just told them I was literally one vote away from 1024 and they both down voted me under 1000 and then above 1024

Ok so I was talking to my computer science teacher earlier and he said that he would rather use vim over PHPStorm for creating a laravel project. WTF!

Normally I would be cool with it, but he has pushed faulty code to git over 8 times. I'm just done.

Holy shit Mozilla's game plan just revolutionized

So our teacher just has us sign up for a learning site called Gizmos with a ton of students information. A lot of students forgot their password as always and some didn't register with an email so I expected the teacher to reset them..

Then the teacher had students come up to the front of the f****** class and SHOWED THEM THEIR PASSWORD IN PLAIN TEXT. WHAT THE HELL

Solved a complex puzzle on a website for a local ecommerce business, mind you in 16 and not really looking for a job but an unpaid internship would look beautiful on a resume or university application.

They wanted to see some of my code and give me a tour and none of them despite them being PHP developers for Magento could wrap their heads around laravel or how the routing worked. They also didn't understand and raw PHP whatsoever. I lost all faith and walked out of their office when they asked why I was using prepared statements and how they worked. That was after finding out that they don't understand cloud scalability whatsoever or common security practices.

This is by far the best way to communicate "don't touch this" I've ever seen

At the Ritz Hotel bar in London England. That client was charged an arm and a leg because I was attending my cousin's wedding and I had to tack on a fee for the $75 regular drinks.

Smooth one GCP

I'm tired of the lack of competition. Open source and public code is supposed to bring people together but a lot of the time it just puts people down and makes them think "why would I recode that if it's already made?" It's going to kill the amount of people actually learning to program because their ideas are just crushed by people who already made them.

The people who are going to be more successful are going to be the ignorant ones who don't bother looking if it exists first and that is kinda sad.

I absolutely love my computer science teacher but I found this mistake a little funny and I'm sure you all will too!

He is a great guy tho one of the best

I am OOOOoOOOOBErr hype for my stickuroonis

Looking at laravels source code and organization

API Request validation is stupid.

Until you remember
* Your target audience is highschool students
* Your front end dev loves to fuck your stuff up
* His mom works in QA and she equally likes to fuck shit up
* It's just a good idea
* People just fucking suck

My dad was an IT and as a kid when our NES broke and I couldn't play Mario he showed me F-22 lightning (an aerial combat game) and I thought the missiles were fireworks. I always called it the airplanes and fireworks game. Good memories.

Ya know what I hate? People who always find an excuse to let people know about their problems or if they are vegan.

Every time I'm like, THANKS! DIDN'T ASK!

FUCK OPENSSL. I LOVE IT AND HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. WORK FASTER AND BE LESS CONFUSING SO I CAN BRAG ABOUT MY PRETTY ENCRYPTION CODE SOONER. FUCK

When you are waiting in the cold for first robotics with a bunch of devrant users and one of them complains about being cold.

Not learning Golang earlier.

I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets

So hype for our first First Robotics competition in Barrie Canada with @ewpratten and @hyperlisk. It's going to be awesome!

TL;DR Know your field of knowledge and accept help from outside.
Alright I work devops and I swear to fucking god the next dev that tells me that their networking idea/solution is better or outright ignores me then proceeds to ask for help is going to get a firm punch in the balls. If you're a lady you're going off the roof because you don't have balls. I am open to ideas but when they're involving a 10/100 mini switch or python routing I'm going to kick their ass.

Just got Caffiene/energy drink vapes and they work like a charm within like five minutes. Productivity 💯 sleep 0

Physically copy the git project's folder, change his terminals directory into it to test then move the files he edited to the original folder and commit back.

Fuck NodeJS. I don't want you to be asynchronous sometimes. My gahwd I need like 3 deep nested loops just to get you to make a request and compile a damn JSON of requests.

I'm learning Golang goodbye forever node.

Ok so I have done some work with crypto currency mining pools and recently a client requested for me to make a splash page that showed data from multiple instances of these pools APIs. I went to find some documentation for this open source api and to my surprise there is none. I thought of querying the public API from the clients side and it worked, however it's so slow that the data shows up roughly 20 seconds after the page loads.

Easy fix right? Make a PHP server get the data every 5 seconds, cache it and serve the data with the page and use a websocket for live updates! Until I found out that there is no practical way in this garbage framework to get the damn API data without making an HTTP request or mutilating the original source code. I'm so done with this garbage framework. It literally loads pages based on a page and action parameter on the index.php. I quit.

For our robotics team we have a college professor (if that's what you even call it) who is teaching our programming subteam how to code the robot in c++. Whenever we mention git he goes on and on about how git is too confusing and we shouldn't use it even if we used pull requests.

What the actual fuck

Comsci teacher just ran "php artisan migrate:fresh" on the production database

My FIRST robotics team 5024 is ordering sweaters and I can put anything I want on the back as my code name sortof thing. What is witty that I can put on it?

That's a fucking L devrant

Since when did supreme become apple? 🤔

Anyone out there been fired because their project manager had a personal problem with them and made them unable to complete their work?

Ok so some of you have probably seen my previous rants about my computer science teacher and our project but I'm just going to summarize all of them and share with you more of my pain.

1. He edits in the production environment. Its a laravel project and he is creating test database migrations IN THE PRODUCTION ENVIRONMENT AND SWITCHING BACK AND FORTH FROM MASTER AND DEV.

2. He edits in vim and doesn't follow codestyle even though I printed him off a piece of paper and emailed it to him.

3. He doesn't have any ethic when it comes to more complex things like laravel homestead.

4. He doesnt want me to release features even though he takes really long to do them.

While I love vim and it is my editor of choice, some things should be done in an ide. This is really annoying me and I'm really just considering handing him the project if he can't follow basic outline.

For those of you who are riding the crypto currency train I have a question. I'm looking to colocate a few antminer s9s and I'm unsure how to verify that the cooling will be adequate.

What is the best way to verify this?

I'm regretting writing my API in node.... But GoLang is kinda a pain in the ass too.

Fuck PHP scientific notation

Ok so riddle me this. The service for an application were required to run to send clients insurance through (as per government regulations) was working fine all day working super fast. Rare but awesome. I get a call one hour prior to the office closing (I don't work weekdays) and I am told that all of a sudden insurance isn't sending.

My mind goes right to this fu**ing process. Sure enough it's stopped on the server. Well shit ok. I click start..... Nothing. I kill it from task manager.... Nothing. "SERVICE CAN'T START"

I'm like ok that's fine let's check event logs.... Nothing. No problem let's just run it not in a service container and see if there's an error. NOPE IT DOESNT LET ME.

Okok so that's cool let's just try reinstalling the app. NOPE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT RESTARTING THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER WHICH BRINGS THE ENTIRE OFFICES MANAGEMENT SYSTEM OFFLINE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING APP NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME GODDAMN SERVER.

Alright I hate these backhanded guilt trip attempts for people to sign you up for their spammy stupid email campaigns. If I don't want to subscribe don't give me a sarcastic smart ass button that I have to hit. (note the text at bottom) then again I also hate myself because this is totally the kind of shit I would do if I owned a news site...

TLDR; sometimes I want to murder my friends.

Pratten: Hey Ethan can you image the robotics programming laptops?

Me: Yeah sure no problem. Let me just make a custom windows iso with all the software we need so I don't have to deal with installers after the fact.

Pratten: Ok great!

Me: *makes custom ISO compiles it and puts it on usbs*

Pratten: hey could you also add drivers station?

Me: uggggg... *Recreates iso and preps bootable flash drives*

Me: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED?

Pratten: nope that should do it ;;;)

Me: ok great. *flashes laptops and runs install. (they're old so it takes a while)

Pratten: ok good job thanks. Did you install *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED TOOL SUITE 1* or *NOT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED NEWER TOLL CHAIN THAT ONLY HE KNOWS HOW TO GET* ? If not I'll have you install those later.

Me: *suicides*

MongoDB and java is aids.

What NoSQL databases does devrant use to store content?

So was freelancing for a guy and I know him pretty well or so I thought. Turns out he is a corrupt prick who leaked one of his support staffs phone number to all the customers because she wasn't online for two days. What the fuck is wrong with some people.

Does anyone else have a "when you are drunk no projects or using terminal" rule?

FINALLY JOINED THE ANDROID TRAIN. Thanks to @n3xus for the Nexus 6P.

You're about as accurate as an uncalibrated NavX module.
(FRC jokes)

Ok so I'm a high school student in grade 11 looking to get a degree in computer sciences. I looked at the requirements for big Universitys in Canada and they say you only NEED calculous and vectors and no sciences. I wasn't sure if not taking sciences will impact my acceptance probability or if any of you got accepted to universities without highschool science.

Yo I hate to ask but is the android app genuinely made in java or nativescript?

Using Microsoft's docs for Azure is about as fun as Spreading Your Ass Cheeks for an incoming elephant dick.

Alright so y'all have probably heard of the problems that the pixel 2xl is having. ITS JUST A SMALL NON PERMENANT SCREEN ISSUE THIS IS NO REASON TO HATE GOOGLE AND USE A DAMN IPHONE!

Ok so I'm a student so I don't have a boss but man this one kid who is the lead of my programming team. I swear he works with a 10ft pole up his a**. Maybe that's why he is so tall 🤔. Anyways he is a nerd and by far my LEAST favorite person ever. I wish nothing but BSODs in his future. He is a devrant user but I'm not gonna name him to hurt his feelings. *cough* ewpratten *cough* but im.pretty sure he copy pastas 🍝 his code from stack schools and pastes it in our mainframe robot.

#BSODToPratten

Off to FRC week 1 competition. Hyped. Going with @ewpratten and @n3xus

Why the hell are companies going to AWS and Azure instead of GCP??? I mean for Azure I understand compliance is a little easier with HIPAA and similar things but seriously.

GCP is so transparent about everything and it's simple for everyone.

A few questions from a highschool student looking to go into a programming job post-secondary.

Did you go to college, university or jump right into it? Any regrets?

How did you get your first job?

I'm a little paranoid because while I'm great with programming and math (high 90 average) I am horrible with classes that require taking apart stories like English or history.

So I needed something to log how many volunteer hours im spending coding something for my school.... I logged 11 hours today. I have no life. Check it out though, it's called wakatime it ties into PHPStorm and everything. It really is a great "you need to go outside more" Indicator.

heck yea, started my first real React Native project. It's called R8 I stole the idea from @n3xus because in lazy and have nothing else to do. If you wanna check out my progress or fix my anything I can't fucking do, go to my GitHub, retrax24.

A beautiful work of art by @n3xus

Node and other apps are so freaking cool but for small businesses it's a pain in the ass and just not worth implementing them over php due to them having to run like an app.

Plus cpanel and similar products integrate like hot garbage with it.

@n3xus and I are making a panel for clients and us to help manage and send out invoices and allow clients to track orders. What are some features we should include.