Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "long story"
Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.12
I was looking for about a month for a laptop. Then on this one magical day I open kijiji and see a Toshiba Thinkpad T450s with 20gb of ram, 138 ssd and an i5-6300U cpu going fo 500$ (value 2000+).
My first thought was. Okay. Scam alert. But you know. What if?
So I call up this person. And its a girl who got a pc from her bf, but really she wanted a mac so she is selling it.
This straight up blew my mind. I decided, fuck it. Got 500. Ran to her. Ran a systems check on the laptop. Checked for any attempts at opening it up. Checked the harddrive. Checked the ram. Everything is solid.
Long story short. Thank god for apple fangirls!32
So, in my spare time I run a little helper business that teaches children/teenagers how to program.
Theres a new kid that's been coming for around about a month, and I swear the kid is a programming deity.
He picked programming and more importantly developing remarkably quickly.
Long story short, I paid for him to go to a Hackathon in LA and he now has more business contacts than me.19
I had a dream where I got a job at SpaceX. Long story short, rockets fell from the sky, people died, and Musk got really angry. I don't think I'll be applying at SpaceX anytime soon.7
I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.
Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.
Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.
I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.
Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.10
The marketing department is right next door to my office, and to make room for their new intern, a very high end, large, and noisy printer was 'temporarily' placed in my office. I'm a reasonable person though, and didn't mind this. The salespeople figured out that it makes commercial grade printouts, so for their various presentations and whatnot, they'll print enormous numbers of pages on this thing, and basically use my office as a motherfucking water-cooler. After a few weeks of this, I logged into the printer from my computer, and set it to disallow all connections from MAC addresses other than those in the marketing department, who print far less material on their own, special, dedicated printer. Absolute fucking chaos ensued. Grown men were brought to tears, ultimatums were made, and blood was shed. The hardware guys were down here for over an hour, making up absolute bullshit as to why it wasn't working(which really surprised me).
Long story short, cut off access to printer, sit back and watch the true face of humanity emerge. Seriously, fuck those guys. They have their own goddamn printer.7
Interlude (Break Room)
Me (Lead Developer), HR lady (HR)
Enter stage right ME
Me > "Oh hey HR lady, how was your vacation?"
HR lady > "Well, we didn't end up taking the kids to Disneyland after all."
Me > "What? Why not? Come on, I have to hear this!"
HR lady > "Long story short my husband and I are getting a divorce."
Me > "Oh shi-"14
##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !
Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*
Client : no, this is not the right way
Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..
Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..
Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways13
Our company got attacked last month by what i believe was a code time bomb from a ex employee. And it was brutal, website hacked, email server not responding, locked out from database servers. The IT department asked for my help and I was more than happy to do it. Long story short I got every thing back working smoothly. The IT guys ask for a favor to not include this in my monthly progress report. Fine by me. But then they went out and tokd the top management that they are teaching me about the networks and servers so thats why I was working with them last month. Fucking assholes. Not going to help them any more.4
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9
!dev, still a rant(ish) thingy..
TLDR: long day, had a brain fart, forgot I was married
Long(er) story: Came home from work, late as usual this week..tired.. talking with my husband about our days..
He was picking up sth from the store and goes on saying what the saleslady said: Your wife will sure like it..
>> mid sentence screaming interruption <<
My mouth: You're married?! WTF?!
My brain: & why is this the first time I hear about thi.. oh..
Mouth: OMG, I'm sooo soooo sorry!!!
I love my husband ♡ but my head is still trying to adjust to the last name change & promotion from boyfriend/partner to husband.. In my defense, he forgets it too sometimes.. but always only the titles, not the other important parts that count!8
// sorry, again a story not a rant
Category->type = 'Story';
Today at work I got a strange email
'about your msi laptop'
(Some background information, a few months ago I went on vacation and left my work laptop at home. Long story short some one broke in and stole my msi laptop)
So this email had my interest. I opened it and the content was something like:
Hi! My name is x, I clean/repair laptops partime and I noticed your personal information on this laptop, normally people whipe their data from their laptop before selling so this is just a double check, if the laptop was stolen please call me on xxx
If I hear nothing I'll assume its alright and will whipe your data
So of course I immediately called him, after a conversation I informed the police who is now working on the case7
I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.
Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.
Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:
"The answer is 27, not 42."20
Im at the hospital cafe (Long story, visiting a relative) and i had to do a quick fix on our project and i cant use my laptop atm to do it so this is my current setup
At least managed to do the fix34
Story about an obscure bug: https://twitter.com/mmalex/status/...
"We had a ‘fun’ one on LittleBigPlanet 1: 2 weeks to gold, a Japanese QA tester started reliably crashing the game by leaving it on over night. We could not repro. Like you, days of confirmation of identical environment, os, hardware, etc; each attempt took over 24h, plus time differences, and still no repro.
"Eventually we realised they had an eye toy plugged in, and set to record audio (that took 2 days of iterating) still no joy.
"Finally we noticed the crash was always around 4am. Why? What happened only in Japan at 4am? We begged to find out.
"Eventually the answer came: cleaners arrived. They were more thorough than our cleaners! One hour of vacuuming near the eye toy- white noise- caused the in game chat audio compression to leak a few bytes of memory (only with white noise). Long enough? Crash.
"Our final repro: radios tuned to noise, turned up, and we could reliably crash the game. Fix took 5 minutes after that. Oh, gamedev...."5
So, continuing the story, in reverse order, on the warship and its domain setup...
One day, the CO told me that we needed to set up a proper "network". Until now, the "network" was just an old Telcom switch, and an online HDD. No DHCP, no nothing. The computers dropped to the default 169.254.0.0/16 link local block of addresses, the HDD was open to all, cute stuff. I do some research and present to him a few options. To start things off, and to show them that a proper setup is better and more functional, I set up a linux server on one old PC.
The CO is reluctant to approve of the money needed (as I have written before, budget constraints in the military is the stuff of nightmares, people there expect proper setups with two toothpicks and a rubber band). So, I employ the very principles I learned from the holy book Bastard Operator From Hell: terrorizing with intimidating-looking things. I show him the linux server, green letters over black font, ngrep -x running (it spooks many people to be shown that). After some techno-babble I got approval for a proper rack server and new PCs. Then came the hard part: convincing him to ditch the old Telcom switch in favour of a new CISCO Catalyst one.
Three hours of non-stop barrage. Long papers of NATO specifications on security standards. Subliminal threats on security compromises. God, I never knew I would have to stoop so low. How little did I know that after that...
Came the horrors of user support.
Moral of the story: an old greek saying says "even a saint needs terrorizing". Keep that in mind.4
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
So. My grandma (280 km away) gave me a call.
Grandma: "Hiii. I have a problem with my PC."
Me thinking "ok. Just an ordinary tech support call from granny..."
Me: "Ok. What's the issue?"
Grandma: "Windows tells me there is no space left on drive F, non-stop"
Me: "As far as I know there is no drive F on your PC"
Grandma: "Would you be so kind to have a look?"
I agreed to log on via team viewer.
To cut an already long story short, there was this April Update which sent a bug all around the globe.
This bug exposed an internal drive Windows uses to do its Windows stuff - whatever it is.
Regularly these kind of drives are hidden from users eyes...
I finally solved it by applying a rollback on Windows.
The update is gone and with the next update there will be a fix from May to hide this drives again.
I do you scare grandparents all around the globe?!??12
Nearly had a crash today driving home and almost had a heart attack. Apparently my car had the heart attack for me and started doing. A speaker test.
So I'm contemplating what just happened and my car's speakers start going BEEEEP BEEEP BOOOOOOOOOOOOP (Subwoofer).
Then the radio came on and switched to a Spanish station.
I looked it up, apparently I had entered diagnostic mode on the infotainment system when I was fiddling with the wheel buttons as a stress relief.
Long story short, the diagnostic mode informed me that my car runs Windows ME!
I would like a new car please, kthxbye.8
My first programming job started at a fairly small gamming company. We were pretty close because we were so small and sometimes jokes were a bit too personal. Anyway, during my 3 months probation period, the team lead invited the whole company at his house for a party. Long story short, I got wasted, and when the CEO arrived I went to him and told him something like: Yo dawg, let's drink, don't be a pu**y. The sad part is that I cannot remember doing that and apparently I shouted outloud. I had some pretty interesting meetings the next days. Came too close to being fired 😅.4
Client calls in and chews me out for being unable to connect to their server.
Long story short their Internet was down.
Pretty sure they still think it's my fault somehow.4
Well got a phone call today and long story short is I have been given a probationary 5 week contract for my dream job, gonna be honest, kinda excited! :-D8
I fried my laptop's lithium-ion battery by overheating it too much when gaming for 1.5 years now. Was only getting 20 minutes on a charge. Bought a replacement battery to install.
My laptop is full-body aluminum, and when removing the difficult-to-remove backplate, I sliced my thumb deeply on the razor-sharp internal edge of the backplate.
Hurt like hell. Took a while to get the bleeding to stop. I had to finish what I started, so I swore I'll be careful the rest of the time.
Yet somehow, my hand eventually slipped and I ended up slicing my OTHER thumb, on the exact same component! And the gash was even deeper and hurt even more! And took 3x as long to stop bleeding! I lost so much blood... 😫
Moral of the story: Be careful when dealing with full-body aluminum laptops. They're fucking evil and dangerous. Also, don't let your laptop reach temps above 82-85 degrees Celsius.
Thankfully, no tetanus from any of this. 😓25
TLDR; I just screwed a production server and rendered it useless!!!
I went to install a product that we built at the customer's site, and was given a Linux running server, to deploy our app.
I work in windows, and barely know the basic Linux commands.
So I look at the files in the home directory, and see that the are a lot of files, so I ask the customer if it is ok that I move all the files to a separate directory.
He agrees, and me thinking that I am smart, proceed to enter the following commands in the terminal:
mv /* old
Of course I got an error that I don't have permission so my next command was:
sudo mv /* old
And that was the end of that computer.
The amazing part of the story is that as soon as it happened, I understood so much about Linux.
The file structure, sudo, the power of the terminal, aliases and so much more...15
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4
so here's a little story:
yesterday i decided to buy a shiny new gtx 1070 since my pc is getting very old, i come back from the store and i realize that my case is slightly too small to fit the card.
'No bg deal' i think to myself, i run out to buy a saw and after some work i made some space to fit the card in by sawing off some hard drive bays i was not using. I plug in the card, i wire up the pc, and it does not boot: after some asking around (i have never really built a pc before), i relaize i need more power to the card and wire a second PCIE connector. low and behold, i power of the pc and it works! Once logged into windows tho, i realize none of my HHDs are detected...
To cut a long story short, i **did not think to unplug the hard drives before i started sawing off bits of the case and the vibrations killed both of them!** i lost ~1TB of data in the process: a lot of it was games and programs, but i have yet to tally up the damage.
I am completely bamboozled by what the fuck just happened, i think i'll go hand myself in to the nearest police station for crimes against technology... or maybe a mental clinic would be best?...
PS: my system drive was spared since its an SSD, but i may as well re-install windows at this point since i lost 90% of my software11
You know the story about Battlefront 2? How long it takes to farm points to unlock those cool characters like Darth Vader etc? Yeah, it takes some time. Time that I necessarily don’t want to spend on mindless playing. I thought I’d try to beat the system by building this thing that would play the game for me by moving and jumping every few seconds.
I already have the code ready and now I just need to build the physical thing that will actually interact with the controller.
I am using an Arduino Uno with two micro servos.
Honestly I just want to see if I could build it, I’m not sure I will actually use it (you barely get any points if you’re not killing people anyway).
I’ll keep you posted with the result!13
This one hits home a bit.
So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.
We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...
...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.10
How a regular convo with non-devs usually go:
"So what do you do?"
"I'm a software developer."
"Oh, so you're like... a hacker?"
"No, I build apps."
"Nice! So like facebooks and stuff???"
"Not exactly. Different things, mostly tools. It depends."
*proceeds to spend what feels like an hour trying to explain what I do for a living in the simplest terms, while the person just blankly stares and nods, pauses, then finally tells me their crazily infeasible app idea.*
"So whadaya think?"
"Hmm...sounds good 😀👍"9
Long story short, I'm unofficially the hacker at our office... Story time!
So I was hired three months ago to work for my current company, and after the three weeks of training I got assigned a project with an architect (who only works on the project very occasionally). I was tasked with revamping and implementing new features for an existing API, some of the code dated back to 2013. (important, keep this in mind)
So at one point I was testing the existing endpoints, because part of the project was automating tests using postman, and I saw something sketchy. So very sketchy. The method I was looking at took a POJO as an argument, extracted the ID of the user from it, looked the user up, and then updated the info of the looked up user with the POJO. So I tried sending a JSON with the info of my user, but the ID of another user. And voila, I overwrote his data.
Once I reported this (which took a while to be taken seriously because I was so new) I found out that this might be useful for sysadmins to have, so it wasn't completely horrible. However, the endpoint required no Auth to use. An anonymous curl request could overwrite any users data.
As this mess unfolded and we notified the higher ups, another architect jumped in to fix the mess and we found that you could also fetch the data of any user by knowing his ID, and overwrite his credit/debit cards. And well, the ID of the users were alphanumerical strings, which I thought would make it harder to abuse, but then realized all the IDs were sequentially generated... Again, these endpoints required no authentication.
So anyways. Panic ensued, systems people at HQ had to work that weekend, two hot fixes had to be delivered, and now they think I'm a hacker... I did go on to discover some other vulnerabilities, but nothing major.
It still amsues me they think I'm a hacker 😂😂 when I know about as much about hacking as the next guy at the office, but anyways, makes for a good story and I laugh every time I hear them call me a hacker. The whole thing was pretty amusing, they supposedly have security audits and QA, but for five years, these massive security holes went undetected... And our client is a massive company in my country... So, let's hope no one found it before I did.6
Okay so this is going to be a rant.
My exams started last wednesday. I'm doing a study called Application Development and I'm in my 5th year now (out of 4, long story).
This is the stuff that's going wrong at the moment and it's getting FUCKING annoying.
- The windows computers were not installed that well so everyone had to downgrade from the last update which took way too long.
- We have to have at least 1-3 conversations with the 'client' and 'manager' for each document but the waiting lists are so long that we have to wait for about 2-4 hours in general (we had a total of 18 hours for the first task) so a lot of people couldn't even have a meeting about around half of the documentation. Having meetings about everything is a REQUIREMENT for a good grade.
- Some of the teachers are so slow that the meetings take way too long.
- Although documentation is important, we calculated that about 80% of the WHOLE FUCKING EXAMS will be documentation which is way too fucking much.
- Some of the grading points (like chapters you have to write in the documentation) ARE NOT EVEN IN THE TEMPLATES MY STUDY PROVIDES. Already had a moment where a teacher was like 'I'm missing this chapter?' me: 'It's not in the official templates?!?' teacher: 'stop right there. I have to grade you for this so is that your or my problem'? unbe-fucking-lievable.
- Some students get so many 'musts' that we are seriously doubting if we can get this to work within about 2 days (12 hours).
Sorry for this rant but I had to get this the FUCK out.8
I took a one month intern position for a company doing data entry. They had thousands of rows in dozens of spreadsheets, and they needed the data entered, row by row, into two different sites, and then link the two entries together.
After the first day I was ready to lose my mind. But... I'm a developer. You know where this is going 😉
At noon the next day, I emailed my employer: "hey, I finished all three spreadsheets you gave me, and I'm ready for more." A few minutes later I received an absolutely astonished phone call.
Long story short, I had all the spreadsheets entered by the end of the day (unfortunately putting the rest of the interns out of a job!), got paid a decent sum for the thousands of $ I saved them, and received a permanent position, where I'm still working today :)6
Got a call while on vacations, the main server is down.
*holy shit* I thought.
As I opened my MacBook, the phone kept ringing and slack was going crazy.
“What should I do? Where is the problem?”, the voices in my head said..
I opened the terminal and tried to get a ssh connection.
Sweat was dropping down from my forehead.
“Connected” the terminal said.
“Fuck yeah, the server is up, only the app is not responding”, I thought and opened the log files.
Suddenly, “STOP” I shout at the log files that were appended way too fast.
Then I saw it.
I added an index to the modification date column,“ kill -9“ed the process, started again and went back to vacation mode 🙂
And of course I was the office hero for a while💪
For the smart asses, I’m aware that it’s a bad idea to -9 the app process in prod, but it was so overloaded that i was not able to kill it any other way. And we needed that server up again.4
It happened 2 nights ago.
We had a whatsapp project for the distributed application programming class, my project mate and me were coding for 2 weeks whole day to finish it, especially with the end-to-end encryption feature that teacher asked, till 2 nights ago the project was trash, the private chat wasn't working and and nothing else is done we had only the UI, we was really doomed especially we had 1 more day to deliver the software, and we decided to deliver the project as a trash and get marks from the UI and the presentation.....
Till the night before deadline at 8 pm
I wanted to try fix some interface pictures and to make it better......
The next thing it was 6 am and the project is full working..
When I told my project mate he was not believing, I had to swear multiple times fot him and hat to go and show him the project by the eye.
We delivered the prohect and got 22/25 😁😁😁
It was incredible I didn't believe my self at first place.
Sory for the long story 😓.3
YouTube, I called it. I freaking called it! This is an old story, it was back when Cryptominer via browser became a thing.
Me: "How long do you thing it will take until YouTube advertisements will contain cryptominer?"
IT WAS A F*CKING JOKE YOUTUBE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADVERTISEMENT POLICIES ARE REALLY THAT BAD!
A month later, after I said it to an friend, I had increased lags with literally anything I was doing. After some days of research (because I didn't pay that much attention to it at first), I could pin down the cause to my YouTube tab in my browser (because I listen to 24/7 music livestreams). And I was like:
Me: "I bet this is because of cryptominer. I bet this is because of cryptominer."
Guess what. About two weeks later YouTube confessed. Cryptominer ads were possible.
I wonder how much money these companies made...4
Idea: Emoji passwords
Bdixbsufhdbe HEAR ME OUT
I know, I know, emojis belong with teenage girls on Snapchat but there are some theoretical benefits to emoji passwords.
Brute Force attacks are useless! With such a wide range of characters and so many different combinations, they just wouldn't be viable.
Dictionary attacks are less useful! Because those require...words.
They can be easier to remember. Tell a story with your emojis. Images are easier to commit to memory than combinations of letters and numbers.
Users would adopt the feature! For whatever reason, the general population fucking loves these things. So emoji passwords probably won't take very long to see use.
I don't know much about this last one, so I saved it for last, but I would imagine that decryption would be more difficult if the available values is quite vast. I dunno how rainbow tables and hash defucking works so I'll just put this here as a "maybe"
Hello DevRant, im a junior cloud consultant and this is my story:
Last monday a salesman, i call him bob, informed me that he planned me in a project starting next week. So far so good despite im currently working already in an other project....
I tried to explain him that its impossible to be on two locations at the same time.
His answer was quite funny because he said its my problem and he promised this the customer a month ago (without asking me or looking into my calendar)
As you can imagine the customer was not happy when i contacted him, to say him that the project could not start before may.
Of course this escalated to the managing director of my company. Bob tried to made it look that it was my fault.
After a long rant mail, where i told my story and about our incompetent salesforce i got a reply from him that he is sorry and a forced excuse mail from bob.
Since this category is called rant/story, let me tell you a story today.
I went paragliding above the turqoise colored "dead beach" of Fethiye.
And boy was that awesome.
I was very insecure about flying first. I have such an anxiety. While moving up towards the "Babadağ" Mountain which is 2000 meters above the sea level, my hands began to Shake. We reached the Clouds. The pilot told me everything will be fine. He is doing that since 2006 and has 4 medals for Turkey's best long distance flyer and he also was a stunt man.
We ran down the Cliff. And as my butt was pushed against the seat, my anxiety began to lower itself.
We even did some stunts, but I do not have them on tape.
Those having such anxiety problems should definitely try this out! Really! :)10
Does anyone else despise buzzwords? A little background. I am a senior dev with a government organization who works in machine learning. As everyone knows, AI is the hottest of the hot now. Thus, everyone believes that they need it.
Long story short. I had a "requirement" come down to develop an "AI" algorithm that totaled all of the hours that a device was used last month. I explained to them that they weren't looking for "AI" and instead they needed rudimentary mathematics and a touch of Business Analytics for visualization. When they finally understood, they told me "nevermind, we just want to get into AI"...11
Gear up! It's a long story.
The last job aka my current job, which I totally love(see my about-me) was a full time offer after I intern-ed for 6months at the company I'm currently working for.
It was through campus recruitment.
So, there was this particular company that I had had an eye on all through my engineering years. I had been training severely, talking to seniors who have been placed there, trying to find as much as I could about the company, clearing mock interviews online and everything. They had an online round first, I cleared it with the second highest mark. (250 of us wrote it).
Then about a month later, it was Recruitment Day (notice the reference to Judgement Day) and I was super nervous. The recruiters knew me as one of the toppers and knew I was in contact with my seniors and I immediately knew I had a chance. All my friends and staff were rooting for me. They all knew I had a thing for this company and that I had been working hard.
I had five rounds. I was the first person to clear all of them. I was incredibly happy. It was all happening too smoothly to be true. This was what I had wanted for 4 years!
They announce the results and that was where the fucking plot twist was.11
Launched my product yesterday. Been working hard on it for a year.
Got a bunch of day 0 signups from all over the world. I’m super delighted. Then I see a bunch of them “broken” in my database.
I dig in and... long story short:
Twilio are cunts. I thought they were a world beater. THEEE messaging api on the market.
Well it turns out you can’t sms North American numbers without setting up special provisions.
I can sms fucking Botswana and Ghana and Iceland and fucking KUWAIT (I actually got a member from Kuwait), but Twilio can’t fucking sms A-CUNTING-MERI-FUCKING-CA6
Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...
He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!
I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.
Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.4
Once, at school, last year, we had to present a C# project that, upon clicking a button, took words from a .txt file and showed them in an alphabetical listBox...
Since the file they gave us was so long that we had to wait a minute or so to get the listBox full, I implemented a progressBar which popped up on the button, and upon clicking it, the progressBar advanced for every word it loaded, until, upon finishing, it would have disappear leaving again the button, and the listBox would have been loaded.
Apparently, this choice alone – even if it had next to nothing to do with the exercise – was enough to give me a solid 9 out of 10, because our professors never explained us about progressBars and I used that completely on my own... I tend to do things like this in class, where I explore what my tools could give me.
So long story short, I ended up having the best vote in class for that, and I was so happy and motivated :D
Moral of the story: if you can, always try to learn something new about your tools and your programming language, on your own, because apparently it gives you advantage towards others, at least in school. Or even if you're not in school, it could still be something cool to learn that might be helpful in the future, for your projects or your job's projects.
The more you know, the better!10
The PCs in our school have a software called "Dr. Kaiser" which purpose is to prevent changes to the disk. I thought it's working like DeepFreeze for OSX devices; having a copy-on-write feature or something like that. One day a friend of mine (kinda newbie in hacking) said he wanted to create a backdoor in the system so you can login as the local administrator of the device. He replaced the "sethc.exe" in the windows directory with cmd.exe on a live distro and claimed it was working perfectly. It turned out that "Dr. Kaiser" is indeed loading the default image on startup, but doesn't verify checksums for system files (and also doesn't include the files in the default image). Long story short: You now can open a cmd with System permissions on every PC in the building.
This. Is. Stupid. It should be forbidden to sell this software 😖6
I am at a point in my life where I just debugged for a solid 30 mins why I wasn't able to clone a repository from github. Long, story short I was trying to clone from github.con not .com; rough Monday2
// LEARN TO READ, FOR FUCKS SAKE
I've been working with a teacher developing a web application for some business that rents stuff.
Long story short, he's so damn incompetent! I mean, for fucks sake, he sent me this picture asking me "what to do"... dude, just fucking read, it says that the VM will capture input and to escape just press right control!!!
I can't believe this guy is a CompSci Engineer...15
Till today I was programming everything in Notepad++. I thought that I don't need an IDE... I thought I would be freer without one.
When I saw that students could apply for a JetBrains student Pack I took the Opportunity, applied and became a student license. I just wanted to check PhpStorm out.
I downloaded PhpStorm and holy shit! I totally love this IDE. Screw NotePad. I linked it to GitHub and my local server. It is supporting me so much. I was so stupid for using Notepad++ all the time...
Long story short: I have to learn so many hotkeys now.22
So this story is from my University days. I was in the 6th semester back then, studying CS.
My University website was pretty shitty. Basically it was one of those old ass website that said "Best viewed in IE8". Anyway, I was snooping about the website, trying to find some news regarding an event.
I logged into my account, and randomly browsed into the leave request portal. This was a basic HTML form where students could apply for leaves from the classes and see the status of the leaves, if they have been granted or not. I noticed that the link to the request portal from the student login welcome page was actually something like http://univ.com/student/index.php/..., here 1234567 was my student ID. Yep, it was hardcore into the page, and sent as a GET request on being clicked. That was their idea of authentication I guess. I change the student ID to someone else's, and it let me login as that person.
Long story short, I wrote a little python script to login as every person from the starting of student IDs, till the end, then submit a leave request with a random dumb reason like "can't come, at the strip club" or "going for sex change operation". What I did not know was that when a request is submitted, a text message is also sent to the student's guardians phone number. I ran the script.
That day, over 1000 parents received text messages from the University saying that their kids have applied for a leave from random date to random date for some retarded reason. It was a blast. Students were talking about how someone had "Hacked" into the system.4
This was a fun thing that just happened:
I was sent a timed questionnaire by a potential employer for a software engineer job. I'm like okay, I will do it on Monday (today) because that is when I will have a free minute.
Well I sit down to do the thing and I had had a few beers, because the Ballmer Peak is real to me when I have to answer bullshit programming quizzes.
Well F me right in the A, it is a 38 question true or false logic quiz. And I am no longer a college kid trying to get into grad school so I have no patience for that crap, and apparently less with a little beer in me. Long story short, there was no comment section for me to rant in so I decided to go on YouTube and watch cat videos instead.3
Greetings from Denmark! Thought I would join after a lot of lurking, and tell a little story, as to how I fucked up when I started in my company.
I've been there around 10 days and had never used git besides just add, commit, and push. I was told to work in feature branches, and I did, I was playing around trying to learn, and got some merge conflicts, made a lot of unnecessary commits etc. I was told to clean it up before I merged into dev. And as I didn't know git I asked how I could do that. I was told I could force push in my branch, and that it was okay as long as it was only inside my branch. I tried that and saw my command line force pushing to all branches including dev, and master. My heart skipped a couple of beats, and I went directly to my Lead developer and asked what happend. He got a bit mad at me for pushing in dev and master, and override all the commits there had been made. I tried to explain I didn't he did not really believe me, I was so nervous. Luckily everything came back to normal with people's local branches being pushed etc. But that day I learned about git's push matching config, and my lead was luckily only mad in the heat of the moment and even apologized for getting mad. Just one of my little fuck up's in my short time as a developer7
Wan't to hear my ridiculous recruiter story? I am originally from MA, and been on a small town since I was 4 (Born in Brazil). Well after years and years on the same town, always going back (MA) when a job here and there wouldn't work out. Going through some depression, and just got tired of everything. Well one day I found a recruiter on linkedIn and he knew a friend of mine. So he said he had a possible job offer but it was in Florida, anyhow he would later contact me and in the mean time for me to send him some examples of my work. Well in the mean time I packed my stuff and called him letting him know I was on the way. He was shocked and didn't know what to say. Went to the interview with him, got the job. 9 months later :) I don't regret taking my changes, it was all I had. I'm currently employed, love my job, and if it wasn't for my ridiculous recruiter... I don't know where I would have ended up. Long story, sorry /: ... here is a potato :) (9gag reference)11
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5
I started saying 'yes' to every opportunity in life. Long story short, I have 3 websites, 2 logos, a couple of leaflets and 2 non-profit websites due yesterday. Whiskey with cereal never tasted better at 8 AM!5
Long story short:
I dont have many friends, I'm isolated in my home, for the first time in 25 years I actually felt like my birthday is worth celebrating but Im alone because corona.
Therefore I'd like to ask you to drink a glass of your good (or other) booze at 23:00UTC (Which is midnight here) to celebrate the first bday party I never had and to celebrate DevRant as a great community and each of you, the members.25
When somebody has already posted a question in the form of a long story, and you just scroll down with good feel but the question is still unsolved for 2 years.4
A rather long(it's 8 hrs long to be precise) story
So I just finished an amazing homework assignment. The goal was to open a new shell on Linux using a C program. We were asked to follow instructions from http://phrack.org/issues/49/14.html . However the instructions given were for 32 bit processors and we had to do same for 64 bit machines. In a nutshell we had to write a 64 bit shell code and use buffer-overflow technique to change the return address if the function to our shell code.
I was able to write my own shellcode within 1hr and was able to confirm that it's working by compiling with nasm and all. Also the "show-off-dev" inside me told me to execute "/bin/bash" instead of "/bin/sh"(which everyone else was going to do). After my assembly code was properly executing shellcode, I was excited to put it in my C code.
For that, I needed opcodes of assembly code in a string. Following again the "show-off-dev" inside me, I wrote a shell script which would extract the exact opcodes out of objdump output. After this I put it in my C code, call my friend and tell him that "hell yeah bro, I did it. Pretty sure sir is gonna give me full marks etc etc etc". I compiled the code and BOOM, IT SEGFAULTS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND. Worst, friend had copied a "/bin/sh" code from shellstorm and already had it working.
Really burned my ego, I sat continuously for 8 hrs in front of my laptop and didn't talk to anyone. I was continuously debugging the code for 8 hrs. Just a few minutes ago, I noticed that the shellcode which I'm actually putting in my C code is actually 2 bytes shorter than actual code length. WHAT THE F. I ran objdump manually and copied the opcodes one by one into the string (like a noob) and VOILA ! IT WORKED !!!
TURNS OUT I DIDN'T CUT THE LAST COLUMN OF OPCODES IN MY SHELL SCRIPT. I FIXED THAT AND IT WORKED !!
THE SINGLE SHITTY NUMBER MADE ME STRUGGLE 8 HRS OF MY LIFE !! SMH
Lessons learnt :
1)Never have such an ego that makes you think you're perfect, cuz you're retarded not perfect
2)Examine your scripts properly before using them
3)Never, I repeat NEVER!! brag about your code before compiling and testing it.
If you've read this long story, you might as well press the "++" button.6
Woke up this morning to the message below:
"I have [ insert name ]'s old laptop. Can you please have a look at it , i mean to see if it can be fixed.It seems fine."
Long story short.. Windows 10 out, Elementary OS in! While I enjoy this pizza at the same time. Funny thing is, the time taken to install Elementary OS was shorter than the time Windows was taking to update this laptop..oh well, another old PC joins the Linux laptops in the house.9
I've accomplished something I thought I'd never do.
I convinced my boss to switch from SVN to Git. (before SVN we've even been using CVS if someone remembers)
Only requirement: it needs to stay in house and I'm the one setting up the server, writing documentation and teach everyone how to use it.
What? Why should I setup the server? Don't we have someone whose job it is to... OK ok... I'll do it.
So after some painstaking arguments with the guy whose job it should have been to do that, I've managed to install a virtual machine running Gitlab.
Long story short: I've just found out about the joys of mail configuration to send E-Mails to established mail providers. Every... single... one of them has a different problem with the way the mails are sent.
I think I'm going to ask that guy again to use our mail servers SMTP. There should be a possibility to use my gitlabs domain for that somehow.
Really looking forward to Monday. Ugh...
Some lunatic apparently created a package and named it "django-restframework" (notice the hyphen?) and not the conventional, popular "djangorestframework" that we all know and love.
I made a mistake to install the former and after installing with pip and saving in my requirements.txt file it read "django-restframework==0.0.1"
I looked at the version number and initially thought "hmm, well that's odd" but didn't pay much attention to it cos I was trying to get started really quickly.
Long story short, I just spent the past hour trying to understand why I was getting a ModuleNotFoundError: No module named 'rest_framework' whenever I tried to execute my project.
🙂 thank you lunatic4
(Follow-up to https://devrant.com/rants/2049733)
Went back to that bar today that I had a fight at about a month ago. Asked about that flash drive I lost there, yada yada.. bar owner gave me her part of the story. Apparently she didn't find that flash drive. So that still leaves me to refresh the keys it stored I guess.
"So you got pretty drunk here, had a ton of Duvels, went to the toilet, and barged out all of a sudden, followed by that incident. But you sat for so long in there.. it was suspicious."
Meanwhile I'm here like "yeah yeah that's what happened, that how I recall it too.. but suspicious? Did she think that I was hacking shit from there?"
"I thought you were taking drugs in there."
".. Oh. ... Not to worry, I don't take drugs."2
OKAY FUCK OFF APP I JUST WROTE A LONG AF STORY AND THE DEVRANT APP WENT AND CRASHED
i guess i will write the story some other time then :).8
What is your story of your first encounter with a Linux Distro?
Here's mine (Slight long version) –
Back in my 8th grade I used to buy Tech magazines that used to have DVDs filled with random updated contents like Audio/Video tools, Wallpapers and other stuff. There used to be this "Linux Distro of the Month" section that I used to ignore because I didn't know what it is.
But one issue of the magazine had a review of this "amazing new" Ubuntu 10.10. I read it and at first I thought it's some kind of theme for Windows (I know). But then I tried it out on my HP Compaq nx6120 which had a pure BIOS. No UEFI shit. Ubuntu came with it's wubi installer and it installed Ubuntu smoothly like a normal software. Later I discovered that it is a completely different operating system that doesn't run anything from my Windows. I was upset about it and I booted back to Windows.
But I never removed it. I felt like exploring what it was and why people use it.
It's almost 9 years later and I'm so glad with what had happened back then.12
Idea was to make a little helper utility to be used once (only for myself, not client). But, I've kept adding layers of functionality over layers of functionality ... Long story short - this monstrosity (UI is bad, code not that much) was used for 10+ years (again, only by myself).
Finally, personal embarrassment was too big, so I took wooden stake and monster passed away. All related files deleted (but not before one final screenshot).6
I have spent about an hour trying to re-assign the assessment I started, as i'm due to leave the company in a few days, to the guy taking over from me.
1. There is a “generate shareable URL” button, with the ability to click a button that says “replace me with the logged in user who opens this”. All it does is duplicate the name and description fields and send a new copy to that person, with no access to any of my other content or answers.
2. I did find a re-assign button eventually, again all it does it create a duplicate, and throws and error saying names must be unique when I try to save it.
3. While I couldn’t find a way to do that, I did find another button to at least assign the reviewer. It told me i’m forbidden to change the reviewer on assessments i’ve created.
This is THE WORST piece of nonsensical shit on earth. The entire application is absolute garbage and sssssssooooooo slow.
When you first create an assessment it brings you to a page that has all the questions, makes sense right? Wrong. All the questions are in read-only mode, and they are simply there as a "this is what you can expect to see later on", telling you whether or not they will be freeform, multiple choice etc.
The way to actually answer the questions is to click the "start survey" button hidden in the "status" dropdown.
I don't have much advice to anyone around GDPR, but please stay the hell away from TrustArc.
Before I became a Computer Engineer, (actually, this job is where I learned I loved programming) our manager would pull us into a team motivational meeting.
Except she was a bit of an airhead, so her idea of motivation was having a sing-song and listing our favorite movie quotes.
It was even funnier because there was lots of drama surrounding "how she became our manager," and one of our teammates felt as though she should have gotten the job.
Anyway, none of those were the most ridiculous meeting.
The most ridiculous meeting was when the VP of marketing came to town from Florida to address the brewing drama.
In this meeting, all of my teammates suddenly had the delusion that we were in a union and thought they were protected from getting fired. They threw our manager under the bus. I was the only one who could see that he was there to see if our department was worth saving. They thought they were going to get rid of our manager by shitting on her, but they were just confirming his suspicion that there was a bunch of bullshit going on all around.
So I approached the VP after the meeting, and long story short, I was the only one who got through layoffs with a job offer in Florida a couple weeks later.
I didn't take it, because by that time I decided I wanted to go to school for Computer Engineering.1
My recruitment story is a bit funny,
i had two interview, first one was to evaluate working style, behavior and ethics, where the interviewer and i spent almost 20 minutes discussing video games 😀.
second was technical, was interviewed by a lady dev manager and the team's technical lead "which i didn't know their roles at that time" went really good and at the end they asked:
Do you wanna ask us any questions?
Me: *leans back, with one arm on the chair arm and with a curious look and pointing one finger at both of them😕*
So what are you two?
them: *both had a shocked face and looked at each other for few seconds, manager chuckles😓😓* Well i am the team's dev manager and this guy is the team's technical lead, and in case you were wondering, we are not a couple.
technical lead: 😂😂😂
Me: 😨😨 no no that's not what i meant i swear.
Interview was over, i left the building thinking 😢😢 oh god, i totally blew it.
2 weeks later i get a phone call asking me to come and discuss contract terms 😂😂😂
sorry for the long story5
I'll repeat what I wrote in an answer in another rant because I think it made a good story (I just realized it after writing it :p) :
I met a guy in my school who was the best of the school : I mean, he jumped over the first two years of the school (and he started from scratch, he never had programmed before).
I went to ask him how he got enough motivation to make all the two years projects in one and he told me something that made me understand why he was so good : "I'm fucking lazy, so when I code, I code something that I would use for a very long time, tools that will be useful in next projects".
By doing this, all he had to do in end-year projects was to assemble what he already had done to make the program. He had perfectly working tools that were awesome. So, he never had to work more than 10 hours a week after doing this.4
Internet stopped working yesterday and the ISP company told me they couldn't send a person for a week!
I'm stuck at home, I have to have internet.
Long story short, I got no sleep last night and I may have voided my routers warranty, but I got internet.7
I had a dream where I got a job at SpaceX. Long story short, rockets fell from the sky, people died, and Musk got really angry. I don't think I'll be applying at SpaceX anytime soon.2
Wish me luck. I HAVE to launch 10 websites (yes, ten) this week and half if not all of the clients don't know their DNS accounts or log ins. I foresee a lot of long nights in my near future. Story of our life, right?5
This week actually. We had an Innovation Week. I was tired of waiting for the company's collaboration tech team to give us some kind of virtual whiteboard system (they also won't let us use things like Google Hangouts or Microsoft One Note, etc...so they make remote collaboration and planning almost impossible)
Anyways long story aside I proposed we make a virtual whiteboard we could host internally as a web app using STOMP over Websocket. They said "there's no way you can finish that in a week". I did.
And it came out great. It even supports pressure sensitivity and different brush textures. Everyone loves it and teams are like...wow we could use this member facing too. Had like 5 people around my desk connected to it drawing dicks for like 30 minutes. Then our boss joined remotely and saw the dicks. They laughed their ass off.
tldr; was told there was no way I would complete an ambitious innovation project...completed it with style. Damn I am good.
First Hackathon ends today. Long story short: I was the only programmer of the team, we only had 2 days to develop it (of which we spent the first day doing research, so 1 day of coding), so guess what it's shit.
I basically took a bootstrap theme, hardcoded some data. Put some js on top for interactions and a node js backend, to interface some APIs. Just by looking at the code you'll get cancer, but the others of the team where impressed, how good it looked an worked...
Let's hope the judges aren't familliar with coding as well (our challenge got two judges whereof one works at a bank as some guy whearing a suite and sponsoring stuff... Ao chances should be ok)
Honestly fuck this. Not one team (afaik) has pfoduced anything close to being finished...10
Had to change my avatars clothes, dont want people thinking i dont wash.
Went to check my closet on the app, shit... Im a poor bastard. Dont have enough money, cough i mean points to get that new pair of shoes ive been eyeing.
Got me thinking, we are all essentially sugar mommies and daddies. I always wanted to give that a go, so far im liking it.
Long story short - thanks for this space everyone including the community
#liveLongAndProsper Dev Rant2
So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.
It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.
I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.
4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.
Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊
That's it. I've had enough.
I lost my job yesterday (again) and the Irish cumstain who lives in the room next to me got pissed last night and kicked my door in because he thought I had his phone(?) and was ignoring him, when I was at work.
Long story short, he ripped my friends back door apart, tried to fight me (which ended with me chasing him down the street with a plank).
Police came and did a wonderful job as always by making us shake hands and 'promise' to leave each other alone.
THIS ISN'T FUCKING PRIMARY SCHOOL. DRAG HIM AWAY BEFORE I DO, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING PIGS.
Oh, and my 'friend' then had a schizophrenic episode and blamed it all on me(?!?). I then went to buy 2 bottles of vodka and decided to get pissed before trying to kill myself.
Ah, I love humans. Dirty, ignorant, blood sucking bags of sweaty meat and delicate bone. I really want to turn this Irish cunt into a skinsack of blood and guts, but I'm waiting patiently. He's going to wake up one night tied up and gagged, with me dragging him to a forest somewhere far far away...
Is it weird that I want to make him scream, cry, and shit himself at the same time?11
-- Once upon a time in a long forgotten country, a most wise wizard created a magic software that would replace all TODO comments in PHP files with actual code...
-- But dad, that's the wrong story. You wanted to tell the story of the WTF witch who makes all JS objects falsy.
Me -- Hm, okay mister, you got me. Let's see.
Me again -- Once upon a time in the far-off country of Whatthefuckia...
Man I'm so proud of my son.1
I sat down at 7pm to work on my app. Pull from Github, have a million gradle errors even though literally nothing changed, and Android Studio wants to update itself and the whole sdk. Long story short, it's now 9:56pm and I'm praying gradle doesn't fail so I can finally get to work on something...4
Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
I love programming.. I really do.. But sometimes bugs drive me crazy... Long story short.. I'm getting a new laptop don't ask what happened to the other one2
Put stickers on your notebooks!
I was at an event where different companies present themselves to the students at my school. There was one company that I wasn't interested in at first but then saw a git and a npm sticker on one of the notebooks standing at their booth.
Long story short: I talked to them and now got an internship there.3
I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.
You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.
Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.
Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.
I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.
It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.5
Up until last year I was pre-med. I graduated college with a bachelors in Biology. Took my MCAT, prepped my med school applications for submission, and then realized I didn’t wanna pursue this pseudo-dream I had for so long. I realized the reality of the sacrifice and the lifestyle I was gonna make and began to regret not studying what I truly liked to be doing on my off time which is computers and programming. Long story short, here I am back in school getting a degree in CS, and can whole heartily admit, I’m happy doing/learning what I love.
It’s amazing how life works. Never would I have imagined that I’d make a switch like that, but I know it’s the best decision I’ve made so far.4
Am I the only one that devRant almost completely replaced Reddit for the "I'm currently waiting on something so I'm browsing" spot?
Since I've been on devRant, my time on Reddit and even HN diminished quite a lot!
Long story short, this place is amazing :P4
Long story shot,
I was the coder of a time machine and a bug took me 10 minute to the past. 10 minutes later I got to the same bug and got teleported again. This continued a while. I woke up later.4
I'm so easily distracted...
Set my self the target of planning a project and then doing a straight Hackathon while writing the most optimised code I can while programming.
Long story short.. Ended up sellotaping a lazer pen to my cats collar and watched her chase her self round the house.
Very productive day.
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8
So I finally got my senior project approved by my school's assistant principal (the one who deals with every student's project) and he said that the three forms of evidence I suggested were not enough. A quick summary of my project: I'm supposed to make a game engine in Java before April of 2017. Every student needs 3 forms of evidence that they did the project so I suggested screenshots of my work, the finished source code, and pictures of me actually working on it. In addition to all of that I would have a ton of documentation and sample projects to test different features of the engine. Well, he doesn't really understand that for a high school student, that's already enough work for a couple of years and thinks I need more evidence. So what does he do?
He requires me to find at least 5 people to test the engine and complete a survey about it. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I'm a high school student and don't know more than 2 people who are fluent enough in Java to work on a game. And, I have to finish the project before January now to give the people enough time to work with it.
Long story short, I'm not even out of high school and I'm already experiencing the struggles of dealing with non-technical people.10
So, idiot me decided it would be a good idea to never get around to configuring my UPS to gracefully shutdown my server after a powercut lasting more than x duration...
Long story short, we had a powercut that lasted 4 minutes or so longer than the battery in the UPS could keep the server up for...
UPS died, server went pew, and after rebooting itself once the power came back on, my raid array wouldn’t mount anymore...
After Googling around, it seemed like running e2fsck would solve the problem.
Didn’t seem to do the trick... and tired me at 3am decided it would be a good idea to poke around.
Pretty sure I ran a command wrong, or two, because now I can’t even mount the fricken array in read only, and fsck complains with a shit ton errors...
Been researching for hours, and no dice...
Test Disk shows the ext4 partition, but fails to list any files...
I may have destroyed the tables or something... I’m a noob at this point.
I’m able to access files with the RStudio tool, however this doesn’t help with file names and directory structure 😭
Is it all over for my 5 years worth of photos and other bits and pieces that I don’t have any backups of ? 😂😭😭
If any of y’all are pros with data recovery and can help a fellow boi out, I’d be more than happy to pay for ya time !3
I fucking hate people that talk bad about things they know nothing about.
The best thing that I have learned is to always keep my mind open.
From "Linux sucks because there is no software" to "MacBooks are just for rich morons" to "All Microsoft tech is shit" to "CS degrees are just a bunch of useless math" to "Bing sucks".
Fuck, what do you know?? You never spent 5 minutes to try them or get informed about them. You have your shitty ideas and will keep having them because you don't care about the truth... You only care about your comfort zone.
Yes, Bing sucks. I tried it. Google shows me better results.
iPhone might suck. I don't know. Never had the opportunity to try one for long enough.
Whenever you're throwing shit at something, stop and ask yourself: do I know the whole story?11
So I'm using a temperature sensor to detect the air temperature in a box. I'm getting readings of about 225°C. Thinking that's weird I check the algorithm converting the input to celceius. Seems legit. Okay must be hardware, let's try resetting the sensor into the board. Turns out the readings weren't lying... Long story short, if you reverse the polarity of a temperature sensor you get a very powerful heater...5
!Rant && successStory
Im curious to know what people's opinions on tech Internships are?
Some people have the option that it's cheap labour to get basic things done.
I believe they are wrong. I just finished my 11 month long internship at a medium size tech company in Melbourne Australia
Although finishing up there was a sad story in itself I was taking some time to reflect on those past months and I believe it's truly amazing.
I've discovered my passions and interests. I was mentored by some truly caring people that honestly gave a shit about me.
The code I write is so much cleaner, decisions I make are more informed and I could go on!
Most of all they paid me decent and I really cannot ask for more.
Kudos to all those companies that actually care about the emerging dev community.2
I used to read.. A lot. Long and complicated stories, where the plot would only unveil itself after a long time. I used to dig myself into a book, learning about the writer's thoughts and mental image, reflecting on our differing viewpoints on the question at hand. I didn't expect action or beauty, merely thoughts which, by themselves, constitued a value to me.
But pulp and especially social media had lowered my attention span to the point that even reading through a short story without getting sidetracked takes a lot of effort. I still value what I used to value, the only thing that's changed is that I no longer have the patience and I feel discomfort due to the lack of sensations.
What do I do? Had anyone solved this problem before?4
Long story short a guy texted me on Xing, he had an interesting idea, I joined in and now we are founding a startup.
Short story long, a guy texted me on Xing. I usually don't give a fuck because there always just fucktards that want to offer me modern enslavement. No thanks you lifeless greedy hamsters! (no offense) This time was different though. It was not the usual kind of words and the idea sounded pretty awesome. So I gave it a try.
We met in a Café and talked about the idea and about my role in it. It went pretty well and we basically had a nice little chat, coffee and cake.
I was still not convinced. It sounded to good to be true. Why would something like this ever happen to me? You know that kind of feeling. It was like "Hopefully I'm not selling my soul to the devil now."
We now work on the project, already have 5 customers and are a step before the first financial investment. I'm pretty amazed how that turned out!
Now to disappoint you a bit more (or maybe to give you hope?) All I've worked so far (except that one little one-year internship) happend by, me talking to someone that had a job, me being honest about what I want and me rejecting anything that runed my guts inside out. That's it. I never really applied for something. I just get to know the people and with that comes the opportunity. Just be respectful, curious and honest. The others will notice. Chances rise that you'll find something you love todo.4
I've been thinking about how to answer this for a while, but I'll approach it from a different angle. The time I (nearly) lost faith in my dev future wasn't because of a technology, bad programming language or an external influence. It was *me*.
The first job I had after the PhD, I was (in the first couple of weeks) tasked with updating various packages on a live Redhat server. "No problem", I thought, "I've done this before many a time on Debian, easy as pie!"
Long story short, I ended up practically bricking the server because I mistyped and uninstalled something I shouldn't have, didn't understand a piece of configuration, then tried to bodge it back and cocked things up further. Couldn't even log in via SSH, the hosting company had to be called, a serial connection set up, etc.
To say I was mortified, embarrassed and had my pride dented would be a massive understatement. I seriously thought I'd get fired on the spot, and that I should perhaps change careers to something where I couldn't cock things up as much.
...but you can't think like that, otherwise the world leaves you behind. So I picked myself up, apologised profusely, took some relevant training, double checked everything I was doing on that server in future and got back to work. After a few months of "proving myself", it was then seen as nothing more than a rather amusing story, and I became a senior dev there a couple of years later.1
My godmother asked me to repair her PC... so when opening the case i realized that her "shady"(improvised wires) case fan was not working... so i tried to connect its molex wire to the psu, and realized i neded an wire adaptor because the psu could not support that fan(only had one molex, female, not male and female), but I gave it a try... long story short... I SHORT-CIRCUITED THE PC...(but it restarted after 10 minutes of me dying of fear that i destroyed her pc...)6
So you remember the old, not so good days, when your app worked in all the browsers besides stupid Internet Explorer?
So I through those days were long gone, and today ticket that functionality doesn't work in Edge.
Good part of the story? Ticket number is 666.2
android studio is TERRIBLE. why cant they just make a fucking good linux installer? they're a fucking half trillion dollars company and can't get their shit together. its terribly unprofessional, and makes vim look like a god. maybe not all of us has have access to nasa's supercomputer and don't have a month for it to start.
here's a story about the installation of android studio on a (fairly high-end) chromebook running gallium:
I went to the website, which by the way could tell I was on linux but still automatically showed me the windows instructions, and downloaded android studio, 1.2 gb for fucks sake! I have a 16 gb hard drive! then it installed, and I closed it, because I was gonna use it later. I had a problem with it the first time, so I reinstalled, and halfway through the installation, IT DECIDED IT NEEDED SUPERUSER PRIVELEGES. fuck that. I restarted the installer, with sudo, and it took about switch as long this time. then, it made me redownload the sdk and all that other bloatware EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE INSTALLED IN SEPARATE FOLDERS AND ALREADY DOWNLOADED. jesus christ, google.4
Well is a long story, but to make it short, a friend started to teach me HTML after that at school they taught me c++, and after my first "Hello World" I was hooked, since then I became an addict to programming and now to devrant4
My very first wow, was back in 2011 as a freshman at university, algorithm classes. Our first language was Pascal, (because it was easy to learn and get to the idea of programming.) so, lecturer wrote Hello World! and that moment was the best part, when I realized that was called a program. After all these years I still remember this output. ❤️ awesome.
After this, its injected in my veins and soul. Even when I come home drunk or coming from the friends, I open my macbook and trying to write some cool , nerdy staff.
Its my life, my passion, my hobby. I dropped everything for this. ^^
Long story short, every time I feel amazing when I do something new and interesting.
Alright lads here is the thing, have not been posting anything other than replies to things cuz I have been busy being miserable at school and dealing with work stuff.
Our manager left us back in February. Because she was leaving I decided that I wanted to try a different path and went on to become a programmer analyst for my institution, if anything I knew that it was going to be pretty boring work, but it came with nice monetary compensation and a foot in the door for other data science related jobs in the future. Thing is, the department head asked me to stay in the web technologies department because we had a lack of people there and hiring is hard as shit, we do not do remote jobs since our work usually requires a level of discretion and security. Thus I have been working in the web tech department since she left albeit with a different title since I aced the interview for the analyst position and the team there were more than happy to have me. I have done very few things for them, some reports here and there and mostly working directly with the DBA in some projects. One migration project would have costed my institution a total of 58k and we managed to save the cost by building the migration software ourselves.....honestly it was a fucking cake walk, if you had any doubts about the shaddyness of enterprise level applications regarding selling overpriced shit with different levels of complexity, keep them, enterprise is shaddy af indeed. But I digress.
I wrote the specification for the manager position along the previous manager, we had decided that the next candidate needed to be strong with development knowledge as well as other things as to properly understand and manage a software team, we made the academic requirement(fuck you, yes we did ask for academic requirements) to be either in the Computer Science/software engineering area or at least on the Business Administration side. We were willing to consider BA holders in exchange for having knowledge of the development process of different products and a complete understanding of what developers go through. NOT ONE SINGLE motherfucker was able to satisfy this, some of them were idiots that I knew from before that had ABSOLUTELY no business even considering applying to the position, the courage it took for some of these assholes to apply would have hurt their mothers, their God if they had one, and their country, they were just that fucking bad in their jobs as well as being overall shit people.
Then we had 1 candidate actually fall through the cracks enough to get an interview. My dude here was lying out of his ass through the interview process. According to him he had "lots of Laravel experience and experience managing Laravel projects" and mentioned repeatedly how it would be a technology that we should consider for our products. I was to interview him alongside the vice president of our institution due to the head of my department and the rest of the managers for I.T being on vacation leave all at the same bloody time.
Backstory before the interview:
Whilst I was going over the interview questions with the vice president literally offered me the job instead. I replied with honesty, reflecting how I did not originally wanted him but feeling that our institution was ready to settle on any candidate due to the lack of potentials. He was happy to do it since apparently both him and the HOD were expecting me to step up sooner or later. I was floored.
Regardless, out of kindness he wanted to go through the interview.
So, going back to the interview. As soon as the person in question referenced the framework I started to ask him about it, just simple questions, the first was "what are your thoughts on the Eloquent ORM? I am not too fond of it and want to know what you as a full time laravel dev think of it"
his reply: "I am sorry I am not too familiar with it, I don't know what that is" <--- I appreciated his honesty in this but thought it funny that someone would say that he was a Laravel developer whilst not knowing what an ORM was since you can't really get away from using it on the initial stages of learning about Laravel, maybe if one wanted to go through the hurdle of switching to something like doctrine...but even then, it was....odd.
So I met with the hod when he came back, he was stoked at the prospect of having me become the manager and I happily accepted the position. It will be hell, but I don't even need to hit the ground running since I have been the face of the department since ages. My team were ecstatic about it since we are all close friends and they have been following my directions without complaints(but the ocational eat a dick puto) for some time, we work well together and we are happy to finally have someone to stop the constant barrage that comes from people taking advantage of a missing manager.
Its gonna get good, its gonna get fun, and i am getting to see how shit goes.7
I work on a warehouse dev team. One day this past year, I was trying to deploy a new build to a QA server. Earlier that day I had been looking at the logs on the production server and had left the ssh session open. I had been working for less than a year out of college at this point and shouldn't have had access to deploy to the production server.
Long story short I deployed my QA build to the production server and saw there were problems connection to our production database. Then my heart dropped in my chest as I realized I had just brought down our production server.
I managed to get the server back up by rolling back in about 5 minutes and no one ever knew except some people on my team.
I felt horrible for the longest time. Later in the year another guy that joined my team that has about 20 years of experience under his belt did the exact same thing, but needed help rolling it back. Needless to say, that made me feel a lot better. 😂
Definitely the worst moment of my year.3
Why the fuck is this apple stuff so fucking expensive?
I want to dig into IOS app development but I am seriously considering not to do it because it's fucking expensive...
I am a young dev (in apprenticeship) and my company offered me a phone. That's great because I can save the money that I would have payed for my phone bill.
But sadly it's an iPhone... I thought why not make something cool out of it and start learning IOS development.
But so far all I saw from IOS development are extreme high costs...
Is there some kind of student plan or anything that makes it cheaper to learn?
Can you guys give me any advice on this?
I own an old MacBook but I need a new OS on it... (long story)
Are there anymore hidden costs? Any tips where to start?
Thanks for your help fellow ranters and sorry for the half rant half question12
I was asked to transfer a spaghetti Android/iOS project to xamarin for a bank client yesterday because "that's what they use".
This is a crm/loyalty app that has been around for 2+ years now (you can imagine the mess). On top of that I have no knowledge of c#, .net or xamarin.
So I ask: "When is this supposed to be delivered?"
Boss: "It was scheduled for 2 weeks ago but let's say 2 weeks from now"
Me: "..... This is a huge remake it won't be even close to ready in 2 weeks"
Boss: "Let's check on the progress in 2 weeks and see how it goes"
Why is it hard for bosses to provide an actual timeframe???
He's been pulling the same crap with junior devs for years and of course they get nervous and create more spaghetti code...
Anyway long story short (not) I have an interview Monday!
Let's hope it's not more of the same!
P.S.: to junior devs: When you are given a deadline... IGNORE IT.5
How did I got into CS?
When I first got my laptop, I put on a password and forgot it. Nobody knew those things at that time around me (most of them, still don't) so I had to pay ₹350 (~$5) for formatting (OS reinstallation).
After a week, I again forgot the password and had no guts to ask more money from my family, because of the fear of getting scolded.
So, I took out the manuals that had shipped with the laptop, read them all. Found nothing.
But, on a very small page, a single line was written, "Insert the disc. Press F12 after pressing the power button".
I intuitively tried it and it worked (I had the OS DVD and no internet).
And I spent the next year experimenting with the windows OS (Vista).
Then tried all the other OSs.
Those were some times..2008..I guess.
Learnt OS without the internet. Nowadays people can't do it even with it.
What's your story?5
! random story
Today i was cleaning my laptop and on right side of it i suddenly touched a button... !!!
DVD player popped out.. and it's dusty as hell.. I was like what ?? How long this has been in laptop.. It's weird.. I never used it.. Why the heck we need it.. I didn't saw anybody holding dvd disc nowadays .. Man nobody uses those shit's anymore.. we have pen drives and External HDD's now. Why the heck manufacture's still keep these dvd player in Laptop's..
But it brought my childhood memories back though.. !!2
My firm works for this one design firm(they shall go unnamed) Let's call them BPOS, they ask us to customize a WordPress site, saying "it's very simple". They the proceeds to send us a psd file for us to refer to.
The file has a 6 fold homepage design with all the images on it in lines and ellipses. Their designer doesn't believe in folders to organize.
I send it back saying it's too disorganized. They then ask us for a time line, and I delay answering it.
I get the revised Psd and look and behold, folders. Though misspelled completely.
I go through the design and 'what a surprise' , the design and the theme don't even remotely match up.
We had agreed on a modest budget to do this with a 50% advance. The advance hadn't been sent.
They send us 4 psd files. 4 pages and asked us to estimate the cost.
Long story short. A project that should have taken 1 week to execute, has taken 2 months. And is still going on.1
Scored another win as the family tech guy! I found out my wife's sister and her husband were storing all their passwords in a Excel spreadsheet. Long story short they are now using a password manager. 😁2
The other day those of us in the codrTalk telegram group we're joking around and, long story short, I now own the domain http://emotionoverflow.com
This is why I shouldn't have access to a credit card.
Telegram group link: https://t.me/codrTalk11
Worked in a company that had a lot of problems reusing code / UI across many similar iOS apps. Current devs were basically trying to build this: https://jasonette.com/ (after other multiple failed ideas).
I argued for weeks after joining that this is way too much, with better use of storyboards and autolayout we can fix the majority of our problems. They did everything short of laughing.
Few months later managers in my office were tired of them so gave me a chance, I build an app my way, the most senior of them build an app their way.
Long story short, my app was a bit more complex, both had the same amount of time. I finished 2 days before the deadline, he went 8 weeks over.
Never felt more vindicated in my life. Mysteriously he and another dev randomly "decided to leave" 2 - 3 weeks later.
Not work but
Years ago when i was in middle school i wanted to mess with the school computers a bit so i made a desktop shortcut for shutdown and changed the name and icon to google chrome.
The person in charge of the it department freaked out and thought some kind of a massive virus infected everything.
Long story short turns out they had an event logger installed, figured out it was me and what i did...
I nearly got expelled 😑2
Long story short,
Fuck programmers who call them selves entrepreneurs (pronounced in French), I'm going to entre-preneur my dick in your fucking worthless calculator you piece of camel cum!!!5
Sometimes your music app knows just the right song to play.
Production program was working (has been for a long time). But suddenly it starts failing. I spent a long ass time trying to see what went wrong.
Security update on the server 🙃
Now I've got the client, his minions, and the users emailing me to fix this. But I didn't start this fire!
Song: We didn't start the fire, by Billy Joel
Ok so I was fetching some JSON data from a SQL database server and loading it on the front-end. Every single data is being loaded onto the table except for a single data column, which is empty.
Hmmm... So I go and check my code... everything looks fine.
Then I console.log the JSON (using .stringify() of course), all the values from the table are present in the printed out JSON.
Ok, now I am really pissed.
Long story short...
I had misplaced a single 'i' in the SQL statement, I had included the 'í' (the i-acute) character instead. And since I was using an alias in the query statement, no error was shown.4
Forgot to change code in my api for rate limiting, after development. No unit tests.. because who really needs that right? 🤦♂️🙅♂️🤷♂️lolololol
Long story short, API went to production eventually, and stopped working almost immediately. Rate limiting was set for 2000 requests in a 1 hour time period. Not my finest moment.. fml 🤦♂️
Sometimes I don't know if my co-worker is that stupid or...
Well, he came to me with an strange problem with mongoose.
I looked at the error message. And guess what the database was not reachable. Asked him, did you check the mongo db service. No. Of course the service was not running. Told him to restart it. Then he restarted robo t not the service itself. Major face palm. He then asked me if I knew why his service was not running. Do I look like some kind of wizard? Told him to check the logs. Long story short, his drive ran out of space....2
I am coming from Java and now I am doing some work on Node project and I am loosing my mind.
Everything is an object but you have no idea what are his properties. There are call back, async, sync and mix. I don't even want to try debugging. There is no classes only object and a lot of functions everywhere.
The whole story with Node versions and playing with NVM. Don't even let me talk about Node modules.
Frustration and long development.15
So I just recently had the pleasure to set up a Rails environment for a friend on Windows. I haven't used Windows in about 5 or 6 years, and the person I had to set it up for doesn't know much about programming at all.
I all went fine at first, install database, devkit thingy and git. Then set up the project itself. And there is where the problems started.
First windows would refuse to use SSL, because of some weird bug in the Windows version of rubygems. The suggested upgrade did not work so I had to switch some gem sources to insecure connections, but at least it did install everything correctly.
Alright, I thought, that's not _that_ bad, everything is running now.
Later again he sent me another screenshot.
His Antivirus spyware was messing with the asset pipeline. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
This was the point where I just said "FUCK IT, i'll just put everything into a fucking VM and let him use that".
I should have done that in the first place.
Long story short:
Setting up a development under Windows is painful.
Do yourself a favor and just use a VM.3
Scam call story
Scambot: This is Costco balh blah blah....(I don't even have a Costco where I live). To be put on the 'no call' list please press 2.
Scambot: Hang up.
A few hours later....
Scambot: this is Costco blah blah blah.... To accept your reward please press 0.
Scam person ( In a Indian accent so thick I can't accurately type it out without it sounding racist) : This is (gibberish). Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: (gibberish) Are you between the ages of 18 and 80?
Me: I'm 85.
Scam person: hangs up.6
So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.
But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....
I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....
WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
I was using the app Jobr to apply for random positions. It’s like tinder — only you swipe to send your resume.
A week or so later I got an email from a company locally that wanted to set up an interview. I honestly thought it was a scam! I didn’t even remember applying for the job.
Long story short, they’re mostly desktop developers, and I’m the first front end web guy. I was initially hired to help with UI stuff but on the last project I was developing Service Workers. So I guess I just get invested and give my fullest.
Now myself and one of the other programmers are working on the 3rd gen of our software, built with Vue.js and rest APIs.4
!rant this is just a shoutout, how fucking happy I am. Clean code valued over fast but hacky push of features!
Backstory. I work for a startup. Long story short a guy with an idea needed a developer. I've worked for about a year without pay but now since we're live I get paid. Recently a new field of bussiness came up. I told tge guy with the idea (a.k.a. my boss) that we either could just "hack" the current code to just make it "fit" well kind of... Or refactor our main code base, as requirements where changing at least monthly and we just built on top of the monolith.
Don't get me wrong. It still isn't perfect. However I was able to refactor the main business logic for the last few days, as he understood, it's an investment into the future.
P.S. On another note: happiness or happyness? :O1
Not really a hack but still worth telling:
I was working in the QA team for a big project. I tried to do some automation when I realized some radio button behaved weird... out of curiosity I checked the source and saw that there was a hidden option for a unimplemented payment option.
I was like: Let’s see how the system behaves if I just submit that form with that hidden value...
Well I was very surprised when I received the email that my order has been processed successfully.
During the investigation we found out that this bug was in prod for over two years. And it requires a one liner executed in the browsers console to skip the payment.
It was kind of a big deal and although I was (and am) still a trainee (in apprenticeship) I got invited to meet up with the client and the bosses.
It was kind of a door opener! After that they trusted me more. I have more responsibility, more interesting tasks and more client contact ever since.
To make a long story short:
Validate everything on the server side ;-)1
A story from around 2005:
Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”
Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”
Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem.1
You know when you can't code something, and you start to rethink everything? (logic, life, the laws of physics) Then it works and your like "you're goddamn right."
Well here's my short story:
Been working on some logic for a week now. Client has been a twat about it. "It's a simple count, can't take that long." It's gotten to the point to where some co-workers were underestimating my skills. When I try the old "you do it then" trick, they laugh and walk away quickly.
But I did it.
I'M SO GOOD AT THIS SHIT!
Next week I'm starting a new job and I kinda wanted to give you guys an insight into my dev career over the last four years. Hopefully it can give some people some insight into how a career can grow unexpectedly.
While I was finishing up my studies (AI) I decided to talk to one of these recruiters and see what kind of jobs I could get as soon as I would be done. The recruiter immediately found this job with a Java consultancy company that also had a training aspect on the side (four hours of training a week).
In this job I learned a lot about many things. I learned about Spring framework, clean code, cloud deployment, build pipelines, Microservices, message brokers and lots more.
As this was a consultancy company, I was placed at different companies. During my time here I worked on two different projects.
The first was a Microservices project about road traffic data. The company was a mess, and I learned a lot about company politics. I think I never saw anything I built really released in my 16 months there.
I also had to drive 200km every day for this job, which just killed me. And after far too long I was finally moved to the second company, which was much closer.
The second company was a fintech startup funded by a bank. Everything was so much better than the traffic company. There was a very structured release schedule, with a pretty okay scrum implementation. Every team had their own development environment on aws which worked amazingly. I had a lot of fun at this job, with many cool colleagues. And all the smart people around me taught me even more about everything related to working in software engineering.
I quit my job at the consultancy company, and with that at the fintech place, because I got an opportunity I couldn't refuse. My brother was working for Jordan Belfort, the Wolf of Wallstreet, and he said they needed a developer to build a learning platform. So I packed my bags and flew to LA.
The office was just a villa on the beach, next to Jordan's house. The company was quite small and there were actually no real developers. There was a guy who claimed to be the cto of the company, but he actually only knew how to do WordPress and no one had named him cto, which was very interesting.
So I sat down with Jordan and we talked about the platform he wanted to build. I explained how the things he wanted would eventually not be able with WordPress and we needed to really start building software and become a software development company. He agreed and I was set to designing a first iteration of the platform.
Before I knew it I was building the platform part by part, adding features everywhere, setting up analytics, setting up payment flows, monitoring, connecting to Salesforce, setting up build pipelines and setting up the whole aws environment. I had to do everything from frontend to the backest of backends. Luckily I could grow my team a tiny bit after a while, until we were with four. But the other three were still very junior, so I also got the task of training them next to developing.
Still I learned a lot and there's so much more to tell about my time at this company, but let's move forward a bit.
Eventually I had to go back to the Netherlands because of reasons. I still worked a bit for them from over here, but the fun of it was gone without my colleagues around me, so I quit last September.
I noticed I was all burned out, had worked far too much, so I decided to take a few months off and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I even wondered whether I wanted to stay in programming.
Fast forward to last few weeks. I figured out I actually did want to work in software still, but now I would focus on getting the right working circumstances. No more driving 3 hours every day, no more working 12 hours every day. Just work close to home and find a company with the right values.
So I started sending out resumes and I gave one recruiter the chance to arrange some interviews too. I spoke to 7 companies in the span of one week. And they were all very interested. Eventually I narrowed it down to 2 companies and asked them for offers. And the company that actually had my preference offered me significantly more than I asked for, which settled the deal.
So tomorrow I'm officially signing with them, and starting next week I'll be developing in Kotlin, diving into functional programming and running our code in serverless environments. I'm very excited!
Inspired by @NoMad. My philosophy is that technology is a means to and ends. We’re a tool oriented species. As it relates to software and hardware, they should be your means to achieve your ends without you needing to think. Think of riding a bicycle or driving a car. You aren’t particularly conscious of them - you just adjust input based on heuristics and reflex - while your doing the activity.
For a long time Software has been horrendously bad at this. There is almost always some setup involved; you need to front-load a plan to get to your ends. Funny enough we’re in the good days now. In the early days of GUI you did have to switch modes to achieve different things until input peripherals got better.
I’ve been using windows from 95 and to this day, though it’s gotten better it’s not trivial to setup an all in one printer and scan a document - just yesterday I had to walk my mother through it and she’s somewhat proficient. Also when things break it’s usually nightmare to fix, which is why fresh installing it periodically is s meme to this day. MS still goes to great lengths with their UI so that most people can still get most of their daily stuff done without a manual.
I started Linux in University when I was offered an intro course on the shell. I’ve been using it professionally ever since. While it’s good at making you feel powerful, it requires intricate knowledge to achieve most things. Things almost never go smoothly no matter how much practice you have, especially if you need to compile tools from source. It also has very little in the ways of safe guards to prevent you from hurting yourself. Sure you might be able to fix it if you press harder but it’s less stress to just fresh install. There is also nothing, NOTHING more frustrating than following documentation to the T and it just doesn’t work! It is my day job to help companies with exactly this. Can’t really give an honest impression of the GUI ux as the distros have varying schools of thoughts with their desktop environments. Even The popular one Ubuntu did weird things for a while. In my humble opinion, *nix is better at powering the internet than being a home computer your grandma can use.
Now after being in the thick of things, priorities change and you really just want to get things done. In 2015 I made the choice to go Mac. It has been one of my more interesting experiences. Honestly, I wish more distros would adopt its philosophy. Elementary only adopted the dock. It’s just so intuitive. How do you install an application? You tap the installer, a box will pop up then you drag the icon to the application folder (in the same box) boom you are done. No setup wizards. How to uninstall? Drag icon from app folder to trash can. Boom done. How to open your app? Tap launch pad and you see all your apps alphabetically just click the one you want. You can keep your frequent ones on the dock. Settings is just another app in launchpad and everything is well labeled. You can even use your printers scanner without digging through menus. You might have issues with finder if your used to windows though and the approach to maximizing and minimizing windows will also get you for a while.
When my Galaxy 4 died I gave iPhone a chance with the SE. I can tell you that for most use cases, there is no discernible difference between iOS and modern android outside of a few fringe features. What struck me though was the power of an ecosystem. My Mac and iPhone just work well together. If they are on the same network they just sync in the background - you need to opt in. My internet went down, my iMac saw that my iPhone had 4g and gave me the option to connect. One click your up. Similar process with s droid would be multi step. You have airdrop which just allows you to send files to another Apple device near you with a tap without you even caring what mechanism it’s using. After google bricked my onHub router I opted to get Apples airport series. They are mostly interchangeable and your Mac and iOS device have a native way to configure it without you needing to mess with connecting to it yourself and blah. Setup WiFi on one device, all your other Apple devices have it. Lots of other cool stuff happen as you add more Apple devices. My wife now as a MacBook, an IPad s d the IPhone 8. She’s been windows android her life but the transition has been sublime. With family sharing any software purchase works for all of us, and not just apples stuff like iCloud and music, everything.
Hate Apple all you want but they get the core tenet that technology should just work without you thinking. That’s why they are the most valued company in the world14
My boss: Can you write something to append the product names with their descriptions?
Sure. Sure you want that?
Yes. Asap please.
Okay, I'll finish it this today.
Finished it, want me to publish this to production?
(One week later)
Did you put those name changes online?
Oh damn, your co-worker, D. Trump, has changed a lot of the names so they index better on Google. You should check those kind of things before changing it online.
Concerns a few thousand products. Long story hah
Tldr; updated many product names overriding many hours of manual labour.7
My little brother thought he'd have knife throwing practice into a tv box in my room. Just next to the box was my macbook. Long story short, it now has a hole punched into the screen.6
Long story short, I have to drop my studies for now bc serious mental health issues. I feel like a failure, but I mean, I actually attempted to.... well, I'm here to say it and not complete the phrase. I need to rebuild a lot. And I would really to make some friends are. I have no one to talk to.14
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION:
Thanks. This is a notice from Yahoo Mail to warm up your IP’s.
Preferably by toaster but only microwave as a last resort.
Long story short a mail server was used by botnets to send out a few thousand emails over the past few days. We contacted a few email providers in hopes that they remove our IP from their blacklists.1
So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.
He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.
After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).
After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.
End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.
I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.
Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story.
This type of post might be good for a weekly rant (if it has not been done yet) "Most Bizarre bug"
So I am working with laravel and vuejs and I use phpstorm as my IDE and today I had the MOST bizarre bug. I'm working on a cryptocurrency website and I'm making a vue component that is going to be a stratum generator for miners and I wanted to make it a component in vue so it can be used anywhere in the site. So I wanted to call the component "StratumGenerator.vue" and i didnt think that this would be an issue. Oh boy was I wrong. So immediately my syntax highlighting did not work nor did emmet autocomplete which is something I can't work without. So i go on for about an hour to fucking figure out how to fix jetbrains vuejs syntax plugins and a very long story short it was because THE FUCKING NAME WAS "StratumGenerator.vue" LITERALLY ANY OTHER NAME WORKS
I've checked its not a blacklisted keyword Stratum and Generator work fine on there own its also not a length thing so right now I have not a fucking clue on why it does not work but i'm glad I figured out.8
Some time ago I was working in a freelance gig. I was the backend developer and the front end guy and I had some differences in our postman collections, so I asked him to email me his exported json collection.
When he emailed me, it was really funny to see his signature, which included all the courses he had and his degrees and whatnot.
like dude, "I didn't wanted your CV, I just wanted the collection"
PS: I hope you get the idea from the image, even if it is in spanish9
Story && rant && dev && linux
I was using linux mint for a while... more like 5 months for work, there's this Touchpad/mouse issue in it that was driving me crazy, so basically the mouse stops responding out of nowhere in the middle of my coding and I have to restart the fucking laptop to get it back. Yeah, I tried all the solutions I could find on the Internet and nothing works.
This issue likes to fucking mess with me so much, it seems to only happen when I absolutely mustn't restart the laptop or I'm working on a task and have a tight deadline and I don't have time to waste restarting my pc.
A couple of days ago, I had this major feature I needed to release to production and the time I estimated for it and shared with my team turned out to be insufficient, so I had to work extra hours from home to finish it ... while I was working, the mouse issue returned and I had to restart my pc like 20 times that day. It was fucking frustrating and It was already midnight and all you can hear are keyboard sounds and fucks flying.
I made a promise to myself that once i finish this task, I'm gonna fucking migrate to another distro, I'm fed up with linux mint's BS. I've been putting up with it for so long it's time to move on.
Yesterday I installed Manjaro and I'm happily working on it today xD.6
The new devRant long story feature is great! Very nice to have them in one place. Thanks devRant team!
To all the cheap bastards out there, especially those who are here for a long time, become a ++ supporter and help to keep devRant running! (Okay that might was a bit dramatic, but still, keep it running as it is)
It was mentioned by @dfox here: https://devrant.com/rants/1467574/... that the numbers of the suporters program have gone down slightly and that devRant still looses it's creators @dfox and @trogus money.
If you're working in IT, you can't tell me, that you can't spare this little! Don't be cheap.
It's a different story, if you're still in school. I can even understand, that you don't have a dime to spare as a student. But when you're working (fulltime) as dev, tester, pm, recruiter, whatever and receiving a salary, then you can afford it.
So come on! Girls, guys, this is our home. It's awesome! Show your appreciation and hit that suporter button. It's a tiny amount every month, but if we all pull together, we can cover their server costs! Become a ++ suporter.
(And don't say we should create a crowd funding campaign, where you donate once, otherwise we'll be in the same situation in a few months, a bit every month on the other hand helps in the long run!)6
I am the old famous kiddy here, who just came back days before school exam starts^^
Just to say, I want to ask you all, is it ethical(?) to release a hacking/cheating creation tool for games for educational™ purposes?
I have been making a cheat creation tool called Mysterium, but I am not sure where to use it. I made cheats for some big title games, and reported them to the developers, patched, and got some in game items in return....
Long story short, is it okay to release to the public, or should i release this product to game developers?
A kid who made cheats since he can't play games well and wanted to get some free items4
Long story short, my mama fixed the printer!
Well, more like she did troubleshoot.
Needed to print something and printer didn’t light up. Did some basic troubleshooting but didn’t work. So assumed it’s spoiled and thought would just use softcopy since document isn’t that important.
When papa told mama abt it, she went ahead and troubleshoot/setup for me to print. Even printed out a test doc, lol.
Then she remarked, “u’ve been doing software, that’s why not so good with hardware hah!”
Proud child is proud. 💪🏿2
1. When i was 11 years old i came across a trojan horse program and i sent it to all my school friends to get their messenger password.
(I had a list of passwords of all the people in my class... dont worry, i didnt even used the passwords, i just stored them in my list lol)
2. Took data structures 10 years later, hated it and switched to electrical eng
3. I was working on a manufacturing plant as the lead engineer and one of my prototypes was misbehaving and i was blaming software and software was blaming me...typical stuff... So i said "im going to get a masters is software so i can know wtf you are talking about, and tell you that you are wrong😠!!"
Got in school, started in the masters and quit that place i was working for 🤣.. (they were shitty people and unethical business... fyi)
Now im back to where i was was when i was 11... (minus the hacking email accounts of my classmates)4
I had a pretty good laugh just now.
There's this extension I wrote for our client's online shop which enables them to create template files via the backend. Essentially it's just an editor reading and writing files from/to a directory.
So I installed said extension using a package I found locally, thinking it was the latest release. Unfortunately it was not.
As I said the extension writes template files within it's own directory and back when I had packed up the extension, I must had forgotten to delete these template files resulting from tests and messing around.
Long story short, I just received a ticket about a line of text suddenly showing up below the product page description saying: "I like turtles!"
The ticket itself was very professional though and the client didn't forget to mention that the "notice" was not part of their product feed data. No shit! LOL2
I had a ticket to enhance the loading of a page.
So instead of doing 40K requests to a MySQL DB in order to generate a tree and display it to to the user on each page visit, the initial query was optimized and moreover, the results are saved in a MongoDB which will then are served to the user on each page visit.
Long story short, after a code review the code got shipped to production and there was a bug which got fixed in a Hotfix shortly afterwards.
I got all the blame for the bug.
I don't deny I have a responsibility for the bug.
Do you guys think the code reviewer also has a shared responsibility for the bug?4
So a problem end client of mine made my life hell for 3 months.
She hired a design agency to design her a bespoke site, she signs off on it and then once I've made it she decides that it's just a draft.
She then spend the next 3 months emailing me multiple times a day, calling the office and calling my personal phone. I'm still not sure how she got my number.
after 3 months on a two week project, many conference calls and changing every single template so that the site is unrecognisable it is finally live.
This woman literally went around her whole office, building and street asking them what they thought should be changed.
Not only that but half way through she suddenly told me she wanted it live in 2 days with a list of changes as long as my arm. I managed it and she wanted more changes anyway so it didnt go live...
The moral of the story is, never go the extra mile for a client more than twice, make sure you charge them for your extra time, try not think about how someone so retarded is the head of marketing at a huge company and that a true rant has no structure.
PS she also complained to me often that the changes had not been made less than 24 hours after requesting them, showed a half built site to her board of directors and then moaned at me that it didn't look right.6
I've written a rant that was too long to devRant, so I made it into a medium article instead. You can read it here:
In short, it's about Apple's weird legal practices when it comes to Apple Developer accounts.
- Apple has "obvious" security reasons that requires a copy of a photo id, and you aren't allowed to conceal sensitive information
- Apple's favorite form of communication is fax and snail mail
- Apple needs multiple signatures and court documents to just change your account name.
Tried the "Ubuntu Bash on Windows" feature today. After restarting the computer for about 300 times (needed to install the whole anniversary update too) i could finally use the bash, resulting in crashing after the 3rd command being entered.
Simply creating a symlink (Windows ssh folder to the home folder) brought it down to it's knees, resulting in being unable to restart the whole thing at all.
Gladly I was able to restart the computer again for about 300 times (it's a windows feature, reinstalling is again a restart parade).
As it worked by then I noticed, that the mounted windows ssh folder contains files with 777 permissions, which you can't change and are thus unusable by the ssh command.
So long story short, today I was able to look at my computer being restart ~600 times for one hour with the result that I'm still sticking to Babun (and sometimes Putty)7
A big project in my company. Had some annoying race condition that caused data to get deleted when two processes finished in the wrong order they hit the dB and override each other’s work.
Long story short. Fixed the bug and in the process the codebase shrunk by 60%. I didn’t have to delete the rest of the code, but the bug was due to a function in the legacy section of the code, and found out that it was the only function used in that section.
So I deleted it. Rewrote the function so it upserts. And bam. Smaller, cleaner code :)1
In my study program the is this last big course everyone is looking forward to because it combines everything we've learned so far. It's a group project where you build a middle-scale-ish application using ask kind of project management like scrum & co.
We had a good idea and am enthusiastic team.
Well, long story short: our assigned teacher was just bad. He barely listened to our proposal, had no fucking idea who we were at the second meeting and he FUCKING FELL ASLEEP in the last meeting. No feedback. No comments on our progress. Nothing. We could've work with the cleaning lady, she probably would've more feedback for us!
Back on dev rant, been a while. Been two Jobs later...
Was extremely underpaid at the previous job.
Started a new venture two weeks ago. Long story short this company outsources their developers to other companies. The job I applied for is 'Junior Developer'. JUNIOR DEVELOPER!!!
Yet I'm being outsourced as an 'Intermediate Developer'.
Honestly I like the challenge, but businesses need to treat their employee's properly and not manipulate their young developers so they can get more money for cheap.
Really now, I've been dealing with this everywhere I go and it pisses me off.
On top of that I have no Senior Developer. I am the only developer. The other six, including my boss, are DBA's and don't know C#1
I would like to present you the story that I tell everyone who is afraid of expectations, stressed to impress interviewers etc. Story about how I got my first job.
A little of backstory:
I always was good with computers, not like expert, but good. Of course parents were against giving me admin rights, so I just played games or such. When time came to choose my path throgh life, I've chosen to go medicine-related way, and chosen high school with such profile. I did my exams terribly, cause I never cared about marks, so I applied to uni for Information and Communication Technology course. I've learned basics of coding there, much stuff I don't really need right now, but in the end it was the best choice I've made.
With that way too long prologue...
I had to do internship for my uni and decided to try and find some year earlier. There was a lecture about multiplatform coding held by company my uni had partnership with. I've filled a questionare and few weeks later they invited me for assessment - event where they will choose who is good enough.
Of course I didn't believe in my chances to win an internship (1st place got full time job). There were 3 stages:
- solo coding (C/C++ own implementation of list)
- group designing (UML and presentation according to specification)
- interview (talking about code from stage 1, some questions, theory)
I failed 1st stage miserably... so I decided to don't give a shit and bravely presented our group project. A guy asked why we did not included a thing on UML, so I told him that it was not in specification - he was suprised but took it as big +. We "won" that part. When it came to interview... I was myself, cool headed, admited when I don't know things.
I thought that was it.
Few weeks later I received email - they invited me for internship.
They put me into Python project, language that noone in our trainee team knew. Told us 2/4 will be hired. At first I was not interested, wanted to finish my degree. But they convinced me. Now I'm here +2 years.
I am aware there are not many companies like that. Here, the people matters - you don't have to know everything, as long as you are getting along with others.
My tip for you though is: BE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY 🎶
And I wish us more companies like that.😉1
Story time... (Not long though)
My current employment status is quite strange. Basically I'm a freelancer. My former boss asked me to throw a half paid job and include three days worth of work for free just because it would be convenient.
When I told him no way - he was very uppset and offended and told me how disappointed he was.
Lesson learned: If you work for free and offer to "help" someone out, it will mostly lead to more queries for free of charge gigs. Don't do it like I did. Fuck that shit, thanks for appreciating my effort.1
Then I got to PHP during the years from some online tutorial about making dynamic websites. My website was more static than stone, but yeah, I did page loading with PHP! Awful experience anyway, because I had to install Xampp, get it work and other stuff. 11 years old or so. (and I used Xampp only as a fileserver between laptop and desktop later, because.. PHP4... just no.)
As 12 years old or so I experienced my first World of Warcraft (vanilla) on a custom server in an internet cafe and I thought it's a singleplayer game. When I found out that no, I googled how to make my own server (hated multiplayer back then and loved good games with huge storylines). Failed miserably with ManGOS, got something to work with ArcEMU. There I learned some C++ basic stuff, which I hoped would helped me to fix some bugs. When I opened the code I was like: "Suuure." and left it like that. I learned what a MySQL database is, broke it like four times when I forgot WHERE and still rather played with websites i.e. html, css, js and optionally php when I wanted to repair a webpage for the server. With a friend we managed to get the server work via Hamachi, was fun, the server died too soon. Then I got ManGOS to work, but there wasn't really any interest to make a server anymore, just singleplayer for the lore. (big warcraft fan, don't kick me :D )
I think it was when I was 13y.o. I went to Delphi/Pascal course, which I liked a lot from the beginning, even managed to use my code on old Knoppix via Lazarus(Pascal). At this age I really liked thoae Flash games which were still common to see everywhere. So I downloaded .swfs, opened and tried to understand it. Managed to pull some stuff from it and rewrite in Pascal. Nope, never again that crap.
About the same time I got to Flash files I discovered Java. It was kind of popular back then, so I thought let's give it a try. I liked Flash more. Seriously. I've never seen so much repetitiveness and stupid styling of a code. I had either IDE for compiling C++ or Pascal or notepad! You think I wanted my code kicked all over the place in multiple folders and files? No.
So back to Pascal. I made some apps for my old hobby, was quite satisfied with the result (quiz like app), but it still wasn't the thing. And I really thought I'd like to study CS.
I started to love PHP because of phpBB forums I worked on as 15 y.o. I guess. At the same time I think there was an optional subject at school, again with Pascal. I hated the subject, teacher spoke some kind of gibberish I didn't really understand back then at all and now I find it only as a really stupid explanation of loops and strings.
So I started to hate Pascal subject, but not really the lang itself. Still I wanted something simpler and more portable. Then I got to Python as hm, 17y.o. I think and at the same time to C++ with DevC++. That was time when I was still deciding which lang to choose as my main one (still playing with website, database and js).
Then I decided that learning language from some teacher in a class seriously pisses me off and I don't want to experience it again. I choose Python, but still made some little scripts in C++, which is funny, because Python was considered only as a scripting lang back then.
I haven't really find a cross-platform framework for C++, which would: a) be easy to install b) not require VisualStudio PayForMe 20xy c) have nice license if I managed to make something nice and distribute it. I found Unity3D though, so I played with Blender for models, Audacity for music and C# for code. Only beautiful memories with Unity. I still haven't thought I'm a programmer back then.
For Python however I found Kivy and I was playing with it on a phone for about a year. Still I haven't really know what to do back then, so I thought... I like math, numbers, coding, but I want to avoid studying physics. Economics here I go!
Now I'm in my third year at Uni, should be writing thesis, study hard and what I do? Code like never before, contribute, work on a 3D tutorial and play with Blender. Still I don't really think about myself as a programmer, rather hobby-coder.
So, to answer the question: how did I learn to program? Bashing to shit until it behaved like I desired i.e. try-fail learning. I wouldn't choose a different path.2
Got a small job redesigning a website and adding some simple functionality.
Turns out, the old sod who built the old site is too proud of his work to let anyone tamper with it, even knowing it is never used.
Long story short, I am making a complete new site and the customer lost their domain name.
Once I finish reading a long rant/story on this website, I have to scroll up to rate the rant/story.3
Logging work in Jira, because it goes against the whole ethos of trusting people to get the work done when they have to log exactly how much time they spent on each individual story. It also doesnt account for pair programming. so 2 people log the same time and it looks like the story took twice as long. I’ll stop now because I’m precariously close to opening the “time based estimates” can of worms and thats for another rant.4
A random story that just popped back into my head while reading another rant:
Long ago, we developed our own webmail platform at the request of clients. After it was finished, it was never updated and eventually turned into an outdated insecure steaming pile of crap. Up until ~2015, it looked like the first iteration of AOL Mail from the 1990s (and it functioned as such too.) Years, we decided to sunset the platform, and allotted 6-months or so to transition all the active users off the platform and over to an alternative email provider. We had to call each client multiple times and send multiple emails with a deadline detailing when the service would be shut down, and we'd explain that if they didn't transition over to a new service and transfer all their emails before that date, then the emails would be lost forever. Lo and behold, a handful of clients ignored our repeated contact attempts, and we shut down their email service (as we told them that we would.) Of course, they called screaming and panicking "OUR EMAIL IS DOWN OUR EMAIL IS DOWN WE'RE LOSING MONEY FIX IT NOW!!!!," and we told them "We attempted to contact you multiple times, and you neglected to return our numerous calls or emails. We're happy to help you transition your old email addresses to this new provider, but because you neglected to follow the cushy deadline we provided you, all of your emails are gone."
Of course, they denied having ever received our calls/emails, and we'd have to provide them with our outgoing call recordings to prove that we did in fact contact them multiple times. Then they'd blame the mishap on their secretary, who would blame it on the intern, who would blame it on the IT guy, who would blame it on the janitor, and so on and so forth.
Moral of the story: always keep outgoing call recordings when you're sunsetting a product.1
So for a while I have wanted to build a raspberry pi cluster. In the spirit of shia labeouf I got started last saturday.
I had two pies lying around so I figured I'd run some experiments before I invested in a lot of hardware. After about a day I had turned the two pies into a shared cluster when disaster struck....
I had completely ignored the fact that you cannot run 32 or 64bit software on an arm processor (I know... I'm a java developer). So when I booted my service and the load balancer, I found that nothing worked. So pretty bumbed out, I quit the project.
Later that day I found a crazy guy who had bought a batch of 400 small form factor PSUs (300W) and internally I laughed at him a little. I mean, who's gonna sell 300W irregular power supplies. Then, just as I was about to go to bed I found this guy, he was selling from a batch of CPU-onboard motherboard for 10 bucks each and everything clicked!
I did some quick calculations and decided I could probably gather enough cash to get: 10 motherboards, 10 2GB ram dimms, 10 Sata disks and 14 PSU (in case some fail) and some misc hardware for networking and such.
So... Long story short, I am going to build a cluster computer, the first version is going to have 10 nodes and I am waiting for delivery right now!12
Feeling like a boss! 😎
Long story short:
Solved a formating issue in a program at work by using ancii code 32.
Even my team lead didn't think of that solution!4
"Marks will be deducted for each part of code that violates the conventions."
Long story short, one of my lecturers created his own coding conventions and gave us courseworks to abide by them. Objectively? They're outdated and shit.
I guess "marks will be deducted", cause I'm not trimming my code to 60 chars... 🤷🏻♂️11
Companies are laying workers off these days like it's nothing.
My company dismissed (just within my department) 90 out of 129 workers — that messed me up.
However, though, my team experienced just a partial effect: 2 Senior devs are needed out of 3 — mid and junior devs are going. I literally had to re-interview for my role again, since they need to keep only 2 senior engineers.
To cut the long story short, I was the first selected candidate — grateful I still have my job. But, I'm sad to see the disruption.
I understand that at the end of the day, it's all business, but mehnnn ...
Is anyone going through the same thing here?
How y'all coping?2
Here is a little story about why I do not like to have to purchase developer tools and libraries..
Long story short it has taken at least 10 people more than 3 months to purchase two licenses of this component library which we still do not yet have licenses for.
It all starts with this guy who works here and has the job title 'solution architect'. He saw an ad on a website about some html component library. Then he asks me and the other developer here to look at it. He is super excited saying things like if we save only x days of time the cost is nothing in comparison to developer time..
The other developer and I both spend a few days reading the docs and trying some sample code. It offers some things we can use but I suggest not bothering with it.
Despite my suggestion he goes to the technical manager and they write up a business case. After about a month our receptionist cc me on an email chain from the it commercial manager who is asking for the licensing information so they can add the component creator as a vendor in the purchasing system. I send them a link to the component website which lists all that.
Jump forward two more months to last week and I got a spam email from the component company saying they have some new version out. I am wondering what has happened so I ask our receptionist she says it is with accounts payable and waiting payment - but it is marked urgent and she will find out.
Today I am cc in an email saying they have paid for it two weeks ago. So where is the license info? Nobody knows.1
What the heck, every two weeks? This is no quality, just games that use the same framework with the same gameplay, just different sprites. Long story short, a quick cashgrab to live from another two weeks4
Anyone here from Brazil?
If so, please check this out: http://catarse.me/salvavidasapp
For those who aren't, let me explain: I started a crowdfunding project - because I want to make an app tp "prevent suicides".(there isn't one like this here in Brazil)
Why? In 2014 a classmate of mine took her own life. And since then, I had this idea. Since my last job ended (you can read about that in my previous rant...) I now would be able to try to do it.
Long story short, I'm utterly disappointed. Some of my friends helped sharing the news - I myself mailed over 3000 different reporters / news sites - all trying to get people to notice (and hopefully contribute) with the project.
But most of them? They didn't even clicked on the damn link I've sent them.
Almost half of the funding time gone, I only got 476 visits, and 1% of the goal. Out of the 3000 I wrote about, only *4* published a small story - and that was because of a friend, not those emails/forms I sent.
I tried posting everywhere I could on Facebook. Tried on foruns over the internet. Tried twitter, tried several universities (only the one I went helped - and half of the money raised is due to them)... everything I could think of - and nothing.
It's 5:30 AM here, and I can't sleep. I'm devastated.I knew it would be difficult to raise the cash - but not getting the news out and having so few people visiting the page... it hurts.2
I know this is sort of off topic but I think Psychology is pretty great sometimes and while it doesn't explain why we behave the way we do, it does a great job studying it, at least. So to explain why fake news is so rampant and why despite us being in the middle of the technology age, so many are still ignorant, they conducted a study on what makes a source credible. It's a very long and thorough study, so I will like it for you to read, but the gist of it is this: any long text which is too boring to read word for word is automatically taken for truth. Images add credibility. And simply adding a reference - even if it isn't a credible reference or if it's not related to the information at all - will make readers assume truth, and most won't even think to validate the links.
Here's the full story:
It took literally days to get our software installed onto the client VMs and get the services started correctly.
On our own test VMs the same task takes all of about an hour or so. Mind you these VMs are supposed to be created and match the client's environment almost too the T. Same configurations, same third party software, same environment variables and the whole 9 yards.
This was not the case at all.
Environment variables were not set, third party software was not installed, and I honestly don't remember the list of things wrong with how they setup the VM. Sparing the details, the errors were also not helpful.
They also gave us critical information we needed for development days before we were going on site to test. The amount of hackery we had to do could be a completely separate rant on its own.
While desperately trying to to stay sane long enough to get our services started, the only thing I could think was how great it would be if there was a fire or something. Anything, just to have an excuse to go back to the hotel and actually sleep. The second day there we finally had everything installed and running.
I shit you not, just as we began our first test, the fire alarms went off.
At this point in time the team was extremely (pissed tf off) annoyed to put it mildly. Assuming it was just a drill, we left our stuff and went to eat dinner. After we came back we found out it in fact was not a drill...
Moral of the story:
Don't wish bad fortune on a customer even if out of impulsive spite.
Other moral of the story:
Don't leave your belongings behind only because you think the fire alarms are just a fire drill. It may not be.
P.S. Karma's a bitch.1
what a gem i found on the side of screen while viewing stack overflow :https://meta.stackoverflow.com/ques...
Long story short, a teacher gave a sassy reply to his student's question , the answer got viral on reddit and SO admins are going bonkers 😂😂4
we are organizer of really big trade fair and wanted to place a new product. It was a landing page for exhibitors especially for the fair, the exhibitor would get a subdomain with his company name. This landingpage had some highly requested features such as a calender for scheduling meetings, some floorplan features and other stuff... long story short: not a single exhibitor booked it. it was just trash and huge waste of time. dont get me wrong, this was actually a really great idea but the endproduct just sucked... now 4 resignations later we may start a new try :D
wish i would be a more passionsted ranter/writer... i have a ton load of such things i could rant about... but most of the time i get my consolation by reading your rants here.
obligatory: fuck, shit, cunt
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer
Customer wants a place to list his products he sells through other sites. He doesn’t have much money, but he’s a referral from a reliable customer, so we arrange a payment plan. We agree on the details, including a place to post his wares.
Then he tells me he wants to post a few thousand items at a time. I decide to throw in a loading system I built for a previous project.
Then he can’t figure out how to add images. Add a way for him to upload them all as a single zip; no good.
Long story short, let myself get conned into developing a full-on Amazon import system that auto-detects several categories automatically AND imports the images. For no additional cost because I felt bad asking for more and we were working through a language barrier.
Third installment payment never comes.
if (rant !== story)
System.out.println("Dev rant story time")
A coworker mentioned to me that I might have depression as part of my personality. They think this because I always feel at my best when I'm being active/productive (programming) or doing meditation practice. I thought that was strange.
Bit of a brief background, I've had depression since I was about 12 and I still get small bouts of it into my late 20's. I've been on antidepressiants for a very short time and I've been through talk therapy multiple times. It was a lot worse then it is now and I believed I have it under control.
My coworker thinks that I ended up dealing with it for so long that it has become a part of my personality so I don't notice it actively. The whole thing has left me sort of, I don't know, jaded. Or maybe just afraid that it could be true?
I thought about how I have a very all or nothing attitude in life. I don't think about getting a house because I don't put too much faith in myself towards having a family. Or how I have to make very radical changes to my life immediately if something starts triggering the new depressive episode. If I can't code or read at night I'll hope in the car and drive with no destination in mind for several hours just to keep my mind at ease.
I don't know. It sorta upsets me because I always thought of depression as something you need to "get out of", but now I wonder if my case was severe enough that I've adapted my life around it.9
I had a small .NET PoC project I wanted to upload to our git server. So added the project to version control using Visual Studio, meaning that VS created a local repository for it. Then I wanted to push it to the remote repository which were created by my colleague. This one was initialized with a commit (.gitignore and Readme.md), so I couldn't push directly. Googled a bit, OK then tried to fetch the remote repo, didn't help. Googled again, tried some "git push origin master whatever" stuff and then rebate, because nothing seemed to help.
OOPS where are my local files? WTF? 😣
Long story short: Experience in other version control systems is not enough or even dangerous when switching over to git. 😂4
Before getting my dev job, I taught myself some java and made a program to assist myself in the position I was working. It was borderline a keyloger, but it helped me with a lot of repetive tasks. Long story short, our security didn't dig that I installed something they didn't approve (I probably could have just not made it an exe and gotten away with it but my boss wanted it as an exe to run on other computers) they didn't know exactly what it was. I totally understood the security concerns though but they sure gave me a fucking heart attack right before my interview for my first dev job! Was seriously worried I was going to be fired and miss my big chance to make it in with out a degree.2
We estimated out how long a new project was gonna take using story points. It wasn't too big and the estimate came out to two months. We discussed it and it seemed to be all good.
Later on someone pointed out a Quora question where my boss asked why it would take so long to develop such a project.
My boss trusts people on Quora more than his own employees.2
ARRAY LIKE OBJECTS
Easy easy, there is always Array.from()..just..it doesnt work, well it does work for one subset called ['data'] which contains the actual rows i generate a table from, but for the ['meta'] part of the json object it just returns a length 0 object..me no understanderino
at least something cheered me up when researching, it was an article with the quote: "Finally, the spread operator. It’s a fantastic way to convert Array-like objects into honest-to-God arrays."
I like honest-to-God arrays..or in my case honest to Fortuna..doesnt solve my problem though3
I have an odoo instance inside docker. Long story short, I was checking visitors of my instance and I saw this:
What is this?9
I had a dream freelance job recently. It was a lot of a fun and I really wanted to continue to work there.
However it started to become apparent my manager was a mess. He would often turn up hungover and couldn’t follow conversation. When asked about docs he said he wouldn’t keep any documentation “so no one could take over”. The whole attitude and professionalism was awful.
Some days on release he (and another member of the team) would turn up to work four hours late as they’d been out the night before. I would absorb all of the impact. Technically I felt he was quite significantly junior than myself. Management saw, directors saw, no one did anything.
To cut a long story short - I raised it with HR, I was told unless I raised an “official grievance” nothing would be done. I asked if I could move - I was met with a shrug “we don’t know”
I eventually reached a point where I felt my only real power is to walk away.
I now have no confidence in HR at all. I don’t think I’ll ever involve or raise anything with them again. 😔6
From perfectly working scrum team to... Don't know what it is now...
Long story short - our SM left company and our team have ongoing "reorganization", our tester leaving at the end of this month, probably we will be out of tester for next month...
I don't mean reorganization, it's normal thing, but... It looks like it's slowly collapsing under bad head decisions (one of them is the reason why our tester is leaving)... Multiple "side" projects / tasks for ppl in team and problems with delivering sprint tasks on time because of it, context switching etc.
I fucking like this project, it gives me much opportunities to learn new things and design new features - it's up to us how we will implement it. Client is satisfied with our work and we worked for their trust for long time. But if things will be going same way as now, we will probably lose it.
How do you think, is it worth to try stay with this project? Or should I update CV just in case?6
Note to self: Always do a dry run first when you have --delete-before using rsync.
Long story short I wanted to restore some folders from my external HDD to the home directory on my laptop XD I should have specified the exact folders 😹2
Just found the most embarrassing security hole. Basically a skelleton key to millions of user data. Names, email addresses, zip codes, orders. If the email indicates a birthdate, even more shit if you chain another vector. Basically an order id / hash pair that should allow users to enter data AND SHOULD ONLY AUTHORIZE THEM TO THE SITE FOR ENTRING DATA. Well, what happend was that a non mathing hash/id pair will not provide an aith token bit it will create a session linked to that order.
Long story short, call url 1 enter the foreign ID, get an error, access order overview site, profit. Obviously a big fucking problem and I still had to run directly to our CEO to get it prioritized because product management thought a style update would be more important.
Oh, and of course the IDs are counted upwards. Making them random would be too unfair towards the poor black hats out there.1
Will a brand new MacBook Pro make your day the worst?
Yes! It will if you are an iOS developer who fucks with xCode everyday.
Let me tell you the story of my day with the brand new MacBook Pro.
I wanted to build my application for iOS 13. For that I should have the latest xCode latest version. For the latest xCode version to work I should have the latest OS.
It took a long fucking time for downloading the latest OS dmg file. And for the fuck sake I was not able to install the same as the file vault was being encrypted.
That fucking encryption thing took half a day. And then I installed the OS. Then, I waited for a long time while the pile of shit(xCode) was downloading.
Then I installed xCode too. And now you know what the day ends and it's time to fucking sleep.17
The test server at work was going up and down all day. Not great when I was trying to use my new dashboard.
Long story short I found out the hard way to make sure I closed my SQL connections
So my first computer... My dad got a Laptop somewhere around 96-97 for work as he had to travel a lot abroad. He also used to take work home and work there in the evening or on weekends. I kindof asked if I could play with it and he just opened defragmenting and I loved the animation. At least I think it had some animation. I know another computer I got later had it. However like the second or third time he left me alone with it, I decided to find something else and somehow managed to instead of defragment the hd, format it. Or atleast delete like a few folders on it. However that game was "lame", so I went out to play with a friend, as the computer wouldn't respond after some time. I've never seen him as angry as when I got home.
Long story short, me and my brother soon got our own computer, like a really " old" one the company where my aunt worked sold. It didn't had a cd rom drive, just a 3.5 and a bigger drive. My dad later took the big tape out and replaced it with a cd rom drive. It ran win95 I think. And we later upgraded it to 982
Long story short:
Just had several problems with using some drone ci plugins (hugo and sftp). Found issues regarding the problems on GitHub. Issues have been open for several years. Still open. Tried to participate or ask for the state. Got a "no one else got a problem with this". Recoded both plugins. Tested them. Using them now. Source is on GitHub. Posted them as alternatives on drone's discourse. Got flagged as spam.
Nice. Not using Drone again. Searching for an alternative now.
Little extra: I think they banned me from posting GitHub links on their discourse.4
I started studying programming last year, currently learning c# and c++ at college (even though I'm a 29 years old electrical engineer.. long story...) any advice on how to start looking for internships and jobs? I feel very lost on how to proceed to gain experience and feel that many of my colleagues have the same issue. Thanks4
I guess my story is not really cool, but okay, I lost my job as a Digital designer (Yeah, I actually have a bachelor's degree in graphic design, I'm an impostor)
I lost it because I saved enough money to travel to Japan and I wanted to stay at least a month so the company didn't like it. after coming back I got a job as a content editor, I just copied old content from an old website to a new one, basic html and css, not even responsive design, then I got really into it, and bootstrap came along, the company opened a new department "Front End" so I got in, I learnt responsive design and Jquery, really loved it, I went back to Japan for a month and a half, keeping my job, I liked it, but I quit.
I now work as a remote front end and I feel stuck, I'm very comfortable as remote, don't wanna go back to an office, but it seems I'll have to, can't find any opportunities to improve remotely, and I feel like I'm missing what the "cool kids" are doing.4
To all the desi ranters here:
Mere pyaare desh vaasiyon!!!! (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
(Not like Modi, I really meant that)
I have always wanted to do something nice for a total stranger and so as part of the
"bigus-dickus niceness initiative", I'm giving away a free WiFi router! yay!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ
I have had this dLink DIR 600L wifi router sitting around for a while now like a paper weight. It's in perfect working condition except for it's power adapter which, the last time I checked, doesn't work. So I was down in the basement for the past hour looking for a 5V ~ 1A adapter and luckily found one.
The router's bottom has some dried up patches of super glue on it (long story). But other than that, ALL IS WELL!
I hope that some day you do the same for someone else and keep the niceness alive.
So all you have to do...(check the comments)11
This is something that I hadn't done or that directly impacted me, but that had an effect in my life several years after it happened.
It's one of those stories that you think "this only happens to others", and then someday you're the "others".
So when I was born, I was, naturally, registered on the health care system. My parents chose an uncommon name for me (uncommon in my country) so I think I wasn't registered by the time of my birth, but 4 months later when all the bureaucratic crap came to an end (long story short, the guy that was there when it started died and my parents had to wait 4 months for another person to be appointed). So, when my parents finally went to register me, apparently, for some reason, the computer took my name and assumed it was a male name. As I've said, my name is uncommon in my country, there're probably 3 or 4 people with the same name here in Portugal.
Why did the computer assume it was a male name AND why didn't nobody check that? Since my parents had to ask to government entities to let them name me that name, I'm assuming it wasn't in their db. So why did it assume male? Was it purposely programmed that, by default, all "newly-registered" names were to be male? Was it random? Who the hell knows.
And how did nobody check that, every time I went to take vaccines? I don't think anyone told my mom that everytime we went there that the data was wrong, otherwise the situation wouldn't have lasted for 14 years.
We only knew about that mishap when it was time I had to take vaccines specifically for women and that I wasn't being noticed of it even though a friend 1y younger than me had already taken hers.
I find this story amusing but now that I started thinking about how it came to life (no pun intended) I'm actually a bit pissed off about how they didn't think of uncommon names and that how that could affect their registry in the system. They could have - IDK - placed "undefined" in that field so that it would caught the register's attention.
Moral of the story: don't assume stuff :v1
The story of a normal release:
- tool gets tested "intensely" by 3 ppl quite a long time - everything works
- a major 2 days reserved as maintenance window for even more testing
- release starts
- first the admin panel of the server suddenly is not accessible anymore
- after some problems the tool is deployed
- suddenly servers are down and not pingable anymore - off on off on (provider has major problems .. good job)
- ppl start testing
- testers report lots and lots of new bugs - seems like the testing wasn't that intense after all...
- people start coming with lots of new requirements (oh we need to import those excels.. excels don't match our internal stuff.. )
- confusion over confusion
- getting pissed of a lot...
- quit caring and focus on another project
Fuck my life
This story was related to me while I was in university.
So a long time ago, (in a galaxy far far away). This student was working as an intern at some tech company. He was running some queries, everything was fine. He decides that's good enough and heads for lunch.
When he comes back the query does not work. He notices the others around him start to stand up asking if anyone has a connection.
Turns out that an intern, at another building, basically deleted everything. I'm guessing they did not add this internship to their resume.
I've been running Xubuntu for a while now and decided to try out Ubuntu's latest release.
So I backup my home and workspace directories by compressing them into archives and deciding to move them to another partition.
Long story short, I wiped my partition and did a clean install only to realize a little later that I had moved the backups in only my mind and not on the laptop 😭😭
That is how I lost all my local projects (the ones I hadn't pushed)
Well fuck me😒
So I came from the Portal modding scene. And I know most other ones who did similar stuff.
Now there was a cool looking upcoming free mod and I somehow came in touch with the lead Dev. Now somehow I managed to get into the developer team and me and my girlfriend we're part of it. We got a level name and should start mapping it (TL;DR, we never finished one because we didn't know what to do).
I actually made a website for the mod. But sometime later we both left the team because the lead Dev (12 yo btw) was "hiring" (working for passion not money btw, that's fine in this case) everyone he got in touch with. They had no team structure just a huge list of people and a long story script. I'd guess the mod won't ever be done, although it has made it through steam greenlight (R.I.P greenlight). Just because they're not working on a team.
Today I found a vulnerability in an local agency website. It's one of the famous and biggest that if I would applied they wouldn't even look at my cv. Long story short, I managed to login to their admin dashboard and sent a screenshot of it as a twitter mention to them. All they did was to like the tweet while I had the chance to fuck up the website.6
So a few weeks ago my colleague needed to generate some self signed certificates for our web application, we're working on.
I've sent him some instructions on how to do that. No big deal, few terminal commands.
The only trick was the commands were written for linux and we're using windows.
So... my colleague calls me, having some issues with certificates. He explains to me what commands he managed to execute, etc. There was also command "sudo" included.
He inputs the command to terminal and... terminal eats it?! Wtf?
So long story short he managed to install "sudo" for windows powershell terminal :D. It basically just gives you some UAC popup confirmation dialog and then executes the command.4
How do you approach generating "random" unique numbers/strings ? Exactly, when you have to be sure the generated stuff is unique overtime? Eg. as few collisions in future as possible.
Now I don't mean UUIDs but when there is a functionality that needs some length defined, symbol specific and definitely unique data, every time it does it's stuff.
TLDR STORY: Generating 8 digits long numbers so they are (deterministically - wink wink) unique is hard but Format Preserving Encryption saves the day. (for me)
I had to deal with both strings and codes today.
One was to generate shortlink word for url, luckily found a library that does exactly this. (Hashids)
BUT generating 8 digits long, somewhat random number was harder then I thought, found out on SO something like "sha256(seed) => bytes => ascii/numbers mangling" but that had a lot of collisions because of how the hash got mangled to actually output numbers and also to fit the length.
After some hours I stumbled upon Format Preserving encryption (pyffx) and man it did what I wanted and it had max 2 collisions in 100k values. Still the solution with this feels hacky af. (encrypting straddled unix timestamp with lots of decimals)6
This literally happened in my current team, and I'm not even an experienced dev yet.
Incident happened like this :
Our team is working on a RCP based on eclipse plugins, which has a headless mode and a GUI mode. Now, in the GUI mode, my manager cum architect thought there are no need of user log files (long story) because the user can see the info on screen, whereas in the headless mode, she wanted me to print the logs onto the console and a log file as well.
Now it just so happened that our team had got a recent addition as a replacement to our lead developer (she left the company) who claimed she had 3 years of expertise and a masters degree, and she was assigned a task. The task was to format a custom file we were generating out of the product (basically dumping info in a file) in a human-readable format. Miss new-addition-masters-degree decided it would be a very good idea to redirect the standard java output stream to a file output stream ( which she used for generating the formatted file ) but somehow never realized that she needed to reset the output stream back to standard output.
Consequences were devastating. I wrote the logic for the logger ( yes, apparently any available logging mechanism won't do it, again, long story ) and had it printing to a file in tmp directory. The logs seemed to be working fine initially but after a few logs, specifically from the point where the formatter started working, all the logs got printed in the formatted file. And this file was supposed to be used by our clients to develop something on top of it. Naturally, I got the heat of it and then naturally, worried and nervous and curious and in a frenzied state of mind, I started debugging.
When I got to the actual fault, I seriously could not decide whether to cry or laugh or call up miss masters and scream at her. I decided to ask her about what the hell she had written and her answer was most of it was written by the developer she replaced, so she didn't know it would cause this much problem. Anyway, I fixed the leak after that and averted the catastrophe.
And that, fellow devs, is the story of how I solved a crisis in my first year at corporate.1
After giving up on multiple attempts to contribute to opensource projects, came to know about 'yourfirstpr' on one of the comments here.
Long story short, a week later and I've made my first pull request to libgit which has been merged :)
Thanks DevRant community 😊2
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4
Story of a first-time hackathon.
So, I took part in the COVID-19 Global Hackathon.
Long story short, I got excited at OCR and just went with the most challenging challenge - digitizing forms with handwritten text and checkboxes, ones which say whether you have been in contact with someone who could have Coronavirus.
And, unsurprisingly, it didn't work within 4 days. I joined up with 2 people, who both left halfway through - one announced, one silently - and another guy joined, said he had something working and then dissapeared.
We never settled on a stack - we started with a local docker running Tesseract, then Google Cloud Vision, then we found Amazon Textract. None worked easily.
Timezone differences were annoying too. There was a 15-hour difference across our zones. I spent hours in the Slack channel waiting.
We didn't manage the deadline, and the people who set the challenge needed the solution withing 10 days, a deadline we also missed. We ended up with a basic-bitch Vue app to take pictures with mock Amazon S3 functionality, empty TDD in Python and also some OCR work.
tbh, that stuff would've worked if we had 4 weeks. I understand why everyone left.
I guess the lesson from this is not to be over-ambitious with hackathons. And not to over-estimate computers' detection abilities.3
I could write a book on this (and I am) but long story short: contracts people that have no tech know how, don't get tech inputs, then get mad and convince managers it's all the tech people's fault when the contract bombs.
Ok so i just bought a 256 GB SSD macbook pro and long story short i actually have 200 GB of free space when you take everything that takes up the space.
The fucking Catalina OS upgrade takes 8 GB.
Is this enough memory for programming/work related stuff???25
Long story short:
My system need to talk with a 3rd party PoS API. The provided doc is pretty useless and with few errors.. nonetheless I came to finish the 99% of the job.
I was stuckd on the 1%, one frickin function.
Everytime I would call the endpoint I would receive...NOTHING. Just a 200.
I've spent like 5 hours trying everything, even sending wrong params...nothing...
Always 200 and nothing else.
Apparently, for an entire nation and the IT Company behind them, is ok to have A PAYMENT API TO RETURN VOID AND A 200 NO MATTER WHAT.
I got the luck/unluck that the main developer of such piece of art came in the office and I've almost throw him out the window (we are at 26th floor).
FUCK OFF DUDE. YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS THAT DO LIKE YOU DO.
P.S. in this days I'll try to write the full story, but it's hard without giving many details...small anticipation: 1.5 months of work and nothing but red bull and coffee...5
Talking about UX design.
Im on facebook scrolling down all this shit news and then i see one of my friend commenting on one post.
I tap on it and .... The commenting list appear but it not scroll to my friend comment... Close this shit get mad close facebook 😂
Long story short facebook sucks cocks1
F*ck software updates..
So while working today, one of the IT support guy came and asked to update my windows machine due to some stupid company 'security policy' they were following .. That update took more than 3hrs.. The reason it took so long because I somehow managed to avoid any updates for 6-8 months.
But that is not the end of the story... Windows update was followed by a bios update, some softwares, and at this point I just gave up and went for a cup of coffee, and left my machine locked in a drawer still updating and it will stay in this condition until tomorrow.. We'll see if something breaks after updating.
F*ck why are there so many updates and why each of them requires a f*cking reboot...
Productivity today was less than the number of side projects I completed. 😪6
I found out the importance of time complexity. It might not seem like a big difference between O(1) and O(2). But there's a big difference hardcoding 500 lines and 1000 lines of data.
I made a navigation app for school using dijkstra's algo. However it had no data available so I had to hardcode it. Long story short, there was a ton of hardcoding. Always try to improve the time complexity of the code you write.2
Me and my family had gone to Paris and Switzerland for vacation. We took alotta photos, there's was about 10GB worth photos in our iPad. The iPad was not working properly, so I backed up the photos to my laptop and gave the iPad for formatting.
Unfortunately, one fine day, my laptop shut down and never switched on again (long story short). We gave it for fixing, but it's still not fixed.
And so we lost all our photos, now there's no proof that we went to to those places 😆6
Extremely frustrated with the release process and versioning system at my current company. Don't know if this is same everywhere or the half ass release managers can't think of a better way here.
Basically for any client raised issue that can't wait for next release are built as a hotfix. However hotfixes are never bundled togather or shiped to other clients. This is causing a vicious chain, two clients raise two separate issues on same version. Instead of fixing them as single hotfix (however minor the issues) we create two hotfix versions for each with only their issue. A week later same clients come back with the issue the other raised. Once again instead of bundling what is now effectively same code we build hotfixes on top of the clients respective branches. We now have two branches to maintain with same codebase. No matter how serious issue, the hotfix is never made generally available and always created on client's specific hotfix version.
Now that was an example for only two clients, in reality we have released five patch versions of a product in last 2 years. Each product version contains about a dozen artifacts (webapps, thick clients, etc) with its own version. Each product version being shipped to various clients. Clients being big banks never take a patch of product even if it fixes their issues and continues requesting hotfix. We continue building hotfixes on client branch and creat ever increasing tech debt. There is never a chance to clean up or new development. Just keep doing hotfix after hotfix of same things.
To top if all off, old branches are still in svn while new in git. Old branches still compile with ant new with maven. Old still build with java 5,6,7 while current with 8. Old still build from old jenkins serve pipelines while new has different build server. Old branches had hardcoded integration db details which no longer exists so if tou forget to change before releasing it doesn't work.
Please tell me this is not normal and that there are better ways to do this? Apologies I think I rambled on for too long 😅5
There is this thing we were able to take at college to get extra UCAS points.
At first I was like "fuck yeah might as well, doesn't seem too hard and its something I like so I wont be distracted"
Long story short, the website was badly designed. I got distracted. And I found out how to get admin rights over my marks (and rest of my project), and perform an xss injection.
Currently waiting for them to reply to my email asking about a bug bounty program.
Seriously guys, make sure you do proper server side checks.
I'm used to do load tests in Visual Studio where it gives which line is exactly your bottleneck. But now I'm using VS Code (visual studio requires enterprise license for load tests :\ no longer have one)
Anyways long story short, what are the best practices for load tests? For me what I'm testing is how much can a given hardware specs handle and when test fails I go back and check if code can be optimized, is this the correct way to do this?7
Once I had to integrate an analytics mechanism into a product my company was selling. Due to EU laws we had to put an opt-out checkbox into the installer. Took me a while to hack my way around various technical and legal impediments, but I got it done.
Long story short, product rolled out and we got data from about 0.1% our customers. Almost everybody opted out :/7
Im currently working on a game, response and feedback is much appreciated.
I'm looking at creatures that will grow when someone that has bad thoughts or intentions.
-- story 1--
This boy grows up in a village that to his surprise, there no other kids in his village. The kids were mutilated. No one knows what happened. The ones with bad thoughts or intention will always be able to see that monster. As the boy grows up, he commits sin that are rather grave and when he grew up to 40 yrs old, he was dangerous person due to his character. His parents only saw his bright side of him and is rather unaware of it.
One day while talking to his mother, he felt rather uneasy, and went to the toilet, as he came out, she was no longer there. Thinking that she must be busy with house chores, he decide to head to the kitchen. Only to be greeted by his mother back facing him. She turned around and gave a big grin on her face that were as long as from one ear to the other. She then grew into a monster. The end
The story lacks a lot parts which I need such as gameplay, dialogues, and story itself.
Should I end it as the guy gets murdered? Or let the player think? Or leave as it is?
It's a 2d game though.
Ideas, suggestion or freedback is great!2
Guess I've been pretty lucky, although I can think of one time a client screwed me.
Ran a job with a Cisco tech who forgot to get a sign off. He did have emails from client saying he was happy with job but things turned sour after a few weeks.
Long story short, we ended up settling out of court, I lost £8k on the job and had to sign a gag order.
Fuckers. Even worse I can't name a shame them. Actually, fuck it. Do not ever work with these arseholes: https://www.smartadvisers.com/
They tout their services as impartial, however recommend companies they are personally invested in.Guess I've been pretty lucky, although I can think of one time a client screwed me.
Ran a job with a Cisco tech who forgot to get a sign off. He did have emails from client saying he was happy with job but things turned sour after a few weeks.
Long story short, we ended up settling out of court, I lost £8k on the job and had to sign a gag order.
Fuckers. Even worse I can't name and shame them. Actually, fuck it. Do not ever work with these arseholes: https://www.smartadvisers.com/
They tout their services as impartial, however recommend companies they are personally invested in.1
Just a short story of me and how things can go right after so many years.
This was my first job. Only two other programmers in the company of like 10 employers.
First one is some one who stopped learning like 10 years ago. Winforms Ftw huh..
The other one was my boss who was really a pro but died not too long ago.
Because of this I got the responsibility for all his projects and the future ones. Beside that I'm also employed for our customer support. So pretty much to do here. Even new stuff I never heard of I have to learn asap now. Of course I have learned pretty much here. But I have reached the point where I have reached the maximum. I can't really learn much more. The salary is a joke.
But my other boss does not really care. Emotionally he has the feelings of a stick. No joke. This is going on even before the dead.
Many coworkers just gave up or got even sick of here.
But now I'm taking my consequences. I was looking for a new job now.
I was really lucky there.
Wrote 3 job application and even got invited 3 times. 2 were declined (luckily). The third one was a dream. For the people, the bonuses etc.
Now I'm waiting to sign the contract and the cancelation of my current one. The salary is a joke. Not chance of increasing.
Long story short : I meet people and do code at Ancienne Gare, my favorite bar. Means "Old Station" and indeed is an old station "refactored" as a bar.
A dev today tried to tell me that a full copy of a VM in XenServer copies all of the data but magically pulls old code. Long story short, he was wrong.
Sitting in a bar with a senior colleague (Me - Student part timer, Him - 15+ Years of experience).
We started talking about our projects and he mentioned that after this, he'd get to spend his evening fixing a git merge, which went wrong because one of his teammates used cherry pick and thus messed up the history a bit (oversimplified).
So he tells me he'd be spending hours to get an overview of his colleagues codes (multiple devs and only team leader knows who does what exactly).
So I suggested he revert these cherry picked commits and so could maybe solve the problem in less time.
He thought about it... Told me HE didn't think of that and thanked me for my help.
Long story short: Today was a good day :31
Long story short,
I made a repository on GitHub containing all the necessary files to build network-card specific firmware that the developer Mellanox does not suply openly to the general public anymore.
Can they (Mellanox) do something to me for that? 😨
And should i pick a license for that repo?
The files were grabbed from either an old russian ftp who grabbed them from the mellanox page years ago while they were available.
Or from some programs appdata tmp folder where they magically appeared during installation.
The files are 2 different kinds,
Either a core firmware textfile containing encoded binary 😵, or
Adapter specific config files that could also be dumped from the adapter card itself.
In total, mellanox provides version compiled 2.9.1000,
I obtained "sources" for
Which are massively better and needed for certain features and functionality. Like building in PXE.
I have this database systems professor who cannot for the life of her teach this class. She goes on random tangents about anything and everything. She asks weird trick questions and gets mad when we don't get them right. She is just very unorganized in general. Her lectures just feel like one long run on sentence. So I guess to make a long story short, anybody have any good resources when it comes to learning about databases?9
The project I have been working on was growing and growing and growing... It reached it a point where the front-end was really hard to maintain. The worst part was the communication protocol, we were using JSON to serialize really complex objects.
I took some initiative and suggested that we use protobuf instead of JSON. Long story short, data usage is 10% of what it used to be, serialization and deserialzation is much faster, and the best of all, everything is strongly typed, with auto generated classes. Fucking awesome!1
I’ve left a bad job a month or so ago.
Now I have less long story rants about the constant bullshit.
You win some you lose some I guess
I just wrote a pretty long story to post here. I forgot one word in English and wanted to check it out. I also forgot that I was working earlier on an app for work and disabled apps in background. When I opened devRant again, whole story was deleted. FUCK
So, have been working for this company for 4 years now as a warehouse associate, but over time they finally realized I can code. I was given the opportunity to work on different projects (even though the first project was a setup for failure but still prevail completing it).
Long story short, next year plan on finishing my bachelor's degree in Software Development. Once I get the degree (or during the process) should I strive to try to work at the:
Tech position (at the current job)
Data Analyst department (current job) ,
since I would be the only developer (for data analyst and impressed the team members at my current job,
should I try to find another job in software development for a new field when the opportunity come up for a fresh start in just programming and not warehouse associate work?
P. S. Close friends with the Tech department, have high recognition and have done some projects for them. They would love to see me join the team if it happens. When I am not working with the tech department during off season (needs to be approved by management to work on these projects during off season) I am literally cutting a box, wasting my skills and potential in auditing during the season.7
Well my last job was nothing but a call center with AT&T, but I will tell the story of how I got my current job which is also my first job as a developer.
I was living in Texas. I just moved out of a house I was renting and my girlfriend at the time moved back to Missouri and she was about 5 months pregnant.
She wanted us to all be in Missouri because that's where her family is. No big deal for me, but we didn't have a place to stay yet in Missouri and it was difficult to find a job in a city that has very little to offer in what I do, and of course, wants experienced people despite what said they were looking for.
For 5 months I kept looking for a job while I stayed with my parents and worked at the call center and she with her mom and stepdad so I could save up to not only make the trip to Missouri but to be able to make a payment on a place which we were also having trouble finding.
Even if I didn't have a job or if we didn't find a place, I was not going to miss the birth of my child. So, within about 3 weeks of her due date, it was time for me to make the trip to Missouri. I still haven't found a job but at least we were going to have a place ready for my child within the week. With all the money I saved, we could get through a couple of months of rent, bills and necessities, but still needed to find work.
After only a week after we got the place, I almost gave up so I started to apply at restaurants as a backup after I found a couple more places. The restaurants were quick to respond and I had interviews scheduled for the week that I applied. I knew I was going to be miserable working at a restaurant, but I needed a job, any job. As a last attempt, the day before my first interview with one restaurant, I found a new posting for an entry level position early in the morning. I quickly sent in my resume but didn't expect anything until weeks later. It only took a few hours for a reply and he wondered if we could do a phone interview. I said yes, of course. After the interview, he said that he had one more person to interview but he would let me know. I thought, great, there goes my chance. After only an hour of waiting, while I was looking for more places to apply, he calls me back saying that he wants to hire me. Immediately after I got the job I cancel my other interviews and I started the next day.
It was great I got the job, but it was a far drive. However, they did offer telecommuting, but I had to come in every day until they felt I understood their work flow. I did inform my boss that my son would be born really soon but he was okay with letting me take off when it was time.
I started on a Wednesday in May of 2014 and made the 1.5 hour drive every day. After only working 10 days, my girlfriend calls me at work saying that it's time for the baby to come but it would be a while so I could finish my shift and then come straight to the hospital.
I get there but still no baby. It was a long labor which ended up in C-section at 4 in the morning the next day. My son was finally born on a Wednesday and it was the greatest thing in my life.
But now, I am a single dad(about a year now and it was mutual) and I am the only developer as of a couple of weeks ago. Despite how they handle things and my annoying coworker that sits next to me which I have ranted about in a previous posts, I do enjoy working there trying to improve and move the company forward. After all, I work from home 3 days out of the week now. The rants will still come lol.
Sorry for the mood kill at the end but that's my story. 😁
So I bought an expensive Bluetooth Arc mouse from Microsoft to use with my work pc which is an HP EliteBook running Windows 7 Pro. The HP installs the drivers but the mouse will not work come to find out later that model of HP pretty much does not work with any Bluetooth device. So to make sure the mouse is fine, I try it on my MacBook pro and in about 15 seconds it's up and running.
I have an Apple mouse already so I give the mouse to my wife and she has a Lenovo laptop running the latest Windows 10. Takes forever for the mouse to install and right after I get a driver error. To cut a long story short I had to install an app from the Windows store to make it work. 15 seconds on a Mac versus at least half an hour on Windows to install a Microsoft mouse.4
Same person. No long story today.
–You know it's so frustrating when you can't find an assignment on your usb stick but you know it's there.
I took a look. It's not in any of three empty folders.
–But I know it's there, okay, I guess I'll just ask another tutor to find it tomorrow.
Once upon a time aka last week,
Was trying to fix an industrial automation software coded in Codesys. My company's standard library is riddled with bad documentation with a mix of English and German terminology.
Had to find out why a program kept crashing the program upon start up. Long story short and many stressful hours later, I found two functions in the standard library that caused an endless terminal process loop. Had to wrap the function in an 'if statement' so it would only run once. Function should have done this by default.
you done fucked it up!
I had a god damnit run, finishing the last mammoth task of our sprint.
Then, i decided to take a 3 minutes bio break.
Came back to my machine just to realise that this little OS bitch sneaked up on me, used the few seconds of my break to do a unholy, reboot of doom and damnation.
As a result, my virtual machine dropped it's php-storm settings...
I lost my precious focus on the task and my last nerves to figure out the correct settings again.
To cut a long story short.
We missed the aim of the Sprint.
The Sprint failed and i got a half-baked module.
At least, all the complicated businesslogic is proper covered by unittests.2
Before my vacation I’d been chatting with one of our dbas about an etl tool we needed for a customer we’d already signed all the contracts with saying we would provide one for a historical database of old data. They had been looking at one from SAP but in typical fashion a license was worth more than the actual contract.
Anyway long story short on the weekend before I went back to work I rattled together a little python proof of concept using a couple of azure databases and when I went back demo’d it to the pm and dba they loved it and we built on the poc to have a working loader which saved us about £30k by not buying the SAP product and just wrote our own.
My short story about my interview today.
Hr: we have some repetitive work and deploys project very long.
My inner voice: why u post about having this kinds of skill if you want to just post in wordpress and also have a lot of requirement if you only edit and add post to wordpress, you should not hire a php developer you need a content uploader or some other thing.
Me: i think this job doesnt fit me.
so recently i have been through memory management hell. maybe i should rethink about pointers and stuff.
long story short: i have done a calendar app using SDL2 and the program is written in C++. when rendering textures using fonts i referenced null pointers to the font.
i will implement events in the future and if you have any suggestions or some advice leave it in the comments, the feedback helps me a lot!
anyways you might give it a try (i am sorry about the makefile not working, i built the app on windows and needed to link against the folder where sdl is located): https://github.com/zetef/calviewer3
This morning at 5:30 AM I was awoken to 20 text alerts for services being down.
Seems they had been down since 2 AM but the previous shift didn't take action.
Long story short:
An outsourced common component is unavailable, and the team responsible doesn't know how to troubleshoot.
I pointed them to the exact issue.
We are now 10 hours into the outage and they still don't know what to do.
My worst mistake was to not follow the commit process one time. I was multitasking a lot and forgot to run the tests for one of the commits I made. Next thing I know the whole Dev team started complaining that the Head of the branch was all messed up and blaming me. Long story short, it wasn't my change but I had to take the bullet and revert it for not following the process. It was deserved. Process is just as important as writing the code.
I've hopped jobs more than getting promoted but my last promotion was when I moved from a desktop support engineer to the team's sysadmin only to be forced out with --get this-- an 8 month notice because they had promised the job to someone else.
Long story short, I found a new job in 4 months and gave them just 5 days notice. Manager said, "We need two weeks." I said, "No." He said, "I understand."1
I'm a junior-ish dev (worked 3 year part time in a small company)
I've been assigned the happy task of doing some performance profiling on our windows application to see where we can work to make the app run smoother.
Visual studio profiler keeps crashing when generating the report when I do CPU sampling.
I'm a very unhappy Dev right now.1
I don't know whether it's correct but i am gonna just put it out there
So long story short i am coding for 10 years now , and it came to a point where it's boring now so boring that even the most beautiful written code does not produce the same effect of achievement, and i started making a lot of fucked up mistakes, coding makes me sleep now
I came across some pills called called "cognitive enhancers" modafinil and adrell, does these really help?23
With very little experience I have become head of software integration on a multimillion dollar state contract. (Whole other story on that part) had a meeting with the states mainframe and DB departments this last week after having worked in person with these guys for three months. They told me that I am by far their favorite employee of a vendor they have worked with. I have put a lot of work into understanding their workflows and making sure we have minimal impact on their systems. Evidently this is a rare occurrence for them. I am just so stoked that I am having such a positive impact on them while still getting my job done. Still have a long way to go, but it is awesome to hear I am at least making a good impression for my company!
I provide training for our clients on our company CMS after having built them their sites.
I once had 3 ladies could me in for their FREE training session who were incredibly rude. They I territories me mid sentence to talk about unrelated stuff, spoke over me, were clearly uninterested in learning the system, and devolved the meeting into their own board meeting.
I didn't know how to deal with such rudeness without being rude back long story short they left having learned nothing, too dumb to work the system out themselves and I find ways to be unhelpful each time they ring up to ask for support they haven't paid for...4
tldr := Windows 10...
So I had Windows 8.1 / Linux dual boot system. And decided that, what the heck, I'll try upgrading to WinX. That went well. Surprisingly. I even used WinX for a while. Windows 10 and linux side by side, on the same disk, just different partitions. And since everything was so nice, I've decided to let Windows install some updates. After reboot, uefi linux entry is gone. What? How? Well, after update windows found 'unrecognized' partition, and, since it is urecognized, it must be unused. So it helpfully fucked it up. That was linux uefi partition (yes, I kept them separate).
Long story short, windows8.1 back from original image, side by side with linux. Lesson learned, gonna ispect each windows update twice before installing. And not gonna touch WX even with a 10-foot stick!1
This was a few years ago in my 2nd year of college. my very first foray into web dev for a team project. long story short, I wrote over 16,000 lines of code. teammate #2 wrote barely 1,000 lines. teammate #3 wrote around 250 lines, around 200 of which I had to rewrite anyway because it was such complete trash. and yet, still, it was this class that showed me I wanted to go into web dev. LOL3
Walking past a conversation with people and over hearing the term CNN, thinking its about Convolution Neural Networking. Long story short. Im standing here between people discussing news resources. Fml
MiniRant on windows
This morning i noticed that the led on the mute key of the keyboard didn't turn on.
I started swearing because I thought the led died (relatively new laptop).
Long story short: reboot windows, the led magically works again.
The only think i can think of is this:
if (rand() % 667 == 666) DisableRandomFeature();
So, since the day I had a breakup, today was the first day I actually sat down in the office late, long after everyone was gone. And finished a Story assigned to me in 2 hours.
I spent months going to office physically, not able to give 100%. Usually I would go late but leave early. Come home and do nothing. My efficiency tanked. Even smallest and easiest tasks would take me 2 days. I was wasting time. I couldn't do anything about it.
Today, after the git push I made at 9PM, I felt a little better about myself.
I still struggle mentally. I don't know why I'm like this. I feel like a loser at times. I used to be so good couple of years ago. But these days I barely feel good about myself.11
I got my current job in the most standard manner,
1. Saw an ad for the job in the local newspaper.
2. Called the boss and had a chat with him. He sounded nice and the job sounded interesting.
3. Submitted my application and resumé
4. Boss called and we set up an appointment for an interview.
5. Met with boss and HR, had a cup of coffee and an interview.
6. Boss called and told me I'm one of two, and that he would like me to do a DISC personality analysis.
7. Met with HR and did the analysis, a bunch of questions that I answered as thoroughly as I could.
8. Boss called and said, congrats! Can you start next month? Yes, I could and it's been more than three years since :)
To make a boring story a bit more funny: Half-way through my first day, I noticed my zipper was open =:O And today I'm wearing two exactly identical socks...save for the colour, different shades of grey on left and right foot. Hush, don't tell my colleagues, maybe they won't notice ;) Well, I guess it's alright as long as I'm not wearing nothing but underwear, or being butt naked, like in some nightmares.1
So long story short:
I've been told to think about a new feature which is really helpful but it's a bit tricky. Tricky because many edge cases have to be considered. So I've thought about it tried to consider all cases wrote a todo list and was hoping to implement it.
But it came as it should and my coworker got that job :( as always if you really want to implement it yourself ;)
So maybe stack overflow is better for this...but it's kind of ranty too so here goes.
Any react + typescript devs here? Cause I did something dumb. I ejected the project because I needed to build a custom express implementation...long story short, I can't run a webpack react dev server or use hot reload. Which is a PAIN! If I wanted to wait for a full TS and react static recompile after changing a css prop....I wouldn't be in the web game!!
Has anyone else had this and fixed it??1
Okay guys now real deal.
I am planning to move to Portugal or something like that.
I think I’m gonna need full time remote work, seems like that one is not happening with me now(part time)
Soo I do react, and all kinds of node selenium, bash stuff . But want to improve on redux and go to react native also.
Long story short shoot the work on me :)11
My most recent workaround occurred last week.
We have a demo very soon and I had to change our iOS app to use a new Web API endpoint for uploading content.
Long story short: The existing code is so awful and rigid and dependant on Core Data that I ended up having to completely bypass the service layer of the app and implement the new endpoint as a raw HTTP request. Its gonna take a long time to refactor the existing service layer. All because the new endpoint has a different content type.
I could use some advice from some tenured developers... (or anyone with some thoughts)
Long story short, I went to school for business (Trust me... business people bug me too now), but in the last six months of college I didn’t like what I was doing (finance/marketing) so I dove into data analytics.
After graduating I was lucky enough to get a job at a great company doing a little data architecture work, writing lots of SQL stored procedures, managing client databases, cubes, etc... I really enjoy my work, but I recently discovered... Python...
After being introduced to Python from people at work as well as my Roomate, I’ve been trying to dig in as much as possible. I try to read/code at least an hour before work everyday and some when I get home. I love it.
So here’s where I need advice...
What do I need to do/learn to get a job writing Python all day? (Or a majority of my day)
What particular skills may I be missing that I should learn?
What do I need to do to make this happen?! (I love SQL, but damn python is amazing)3
If the sultan in 1001 nights was a programmer, call me Scheherazade, because I can tell a lot of stories why I hate PHP.
Tonight's story: func_get_args
I checked the function arguments eight times, every time thinking it doesn't take any arguments, so this cannot be the right function. But PHP allows to hide argument in the middle of the method. I don't want to read the whole function to figure out what's happening. Plus, functions are far too long. Can't we channel our inner Robert C. Martin a little more?3
Just finished building a new Linux workstation that my company bought me! That Ryzen 2700X is just ridiculously fast! I'm not talking about irrelevant FPS benchmarks on some hip game...
I'm talking about compile time for the Linux kernel and buildroot!
Long story short, is about 5x my previous workstation with a Xeon 3.
Now I wanna get my hands on a 32 threadripper for my personal computer!!1
I started because the first PC I owned ran on Windows NT and, even though I can't recall for the life of me what, something always broke but was fixable with some command lines. After finding out about Batch scripts my exploration instinct kicked in and I started to make a script for nearly anything (at one point I even had a script to start Firefox). From there on I stumbled over C++ and what can I say, I quit programmin four times before I found Python and fell in love with this beautiful, pointerless snake which led me on the way of becoming a programmer. So, long story short, a broken OS and all that free time you have during school if you always copy your Honework in breaks^^.
Had someone mention adding tasks to stories in our sprint mid-sprint is messing up the sprint statistics... Can someone explain to me how one is supposed to know every task and approximately how long it will take to complete for a given story before even opening the code base up?
This is currently my major gripe with agile / scrum. How exactly you're supposed to instinctively know the solution to a complicated problem, as well as the steps to implement it, the approximate time it'll take, AND roadblocks you'll run into on DAY ONE? WHAT?
Too often does a 2 point story turn into a 5 point story because deep down it was a more complicated problem than originally thought, and a good scrum developer is supposed to... Either clairvoyantly known that or just allocate hours into unrelated tasks?
Someone help me out here
Related to the project in my last rant...
Project got delayed for about a month in total because the API for the payment gateway wasn’t allowing charges against stored cards. Could save, modify, and delete them, but no charges.
After a week of trying to get things working based on the documentation, I get in touch with the vendor (great people) who file a support request with the people running the processor so we can see what’s up. Long story short, that amounted to 3 weeks of getting ignored until the vendor raised hell on my behalf, only to get the following reply back:
“You’ve been using the dev credentials, try it on live transactions instead!”
Thankfully, we’re able to move the customer to another processor under the same vendor, where I already have all the requests figured out...2
Myself a few months into my new role.
I attend the Christmas work event (free bar) and got super drunk. I go the toilet for a piss...
During that time I strike up a conversation with the dude stood next to me and to cut a long story short I end up betting, stake defined, hand shook that the company we both work for will fail within two years due to some governmental reforms I knew little about.
Turns out the dude happens to be one of the board members. Its big company 100's of employees.
There were other employees in the toilet at the time too not 30 minutes later and everyone knew what I'd said. It was rather embarrassing I almost didn't turn up the Monday following.
Not my proudest moment, but thankfully I wasn't fired. Its been 1.8 years... I and still work there.1
Being jobless for a long time is frustrating, but when you're now in a situation where you really need a job within the month, life has become a horror story. My anxiety is off the charts. I can't even focus on learning and improving my skills. I don't have any savings to be able to afford more time.6
So I’m currently in my senior year at high-school, striving to get my Technical High-School degree.
My specialization is “System Programming”. I wish we studied something at school related to it ...
Long story short~
I’m going to my finals for this semester : We had to create a traffic light program, coded in C++.
Greatest thing was - WELL WE HAD TO WRITE OUR CODE ON PIECE OF A PAPER 🙂🙃.
So I’m thinking ... Shall I add “I’m so good that I can program piece of a paper “ in my resume ?
So I'm starting a new job in April, which will be my first 100% dev job. When I interviewed in January, they said I would work as an in house resource, and would most likely start off working with CMS systems etc to ease myself into this role, before transitioning to more advanced work. I was asked to come in for a meeting today, to look at a potential project.
Long story short, I'm being tasked with rewriting a frontend for their biggest customer to Angular, and this would most likely span over a year or so.
I can't decide if I'm excited or hilariously scared.2
I just wasted a good half hour trying to figure out why my Python dictionary was in alphabetical order.
I’ve had issues with dictionary order before with 3.5, but that was more or less Python just wanting to put shit in the order IT wants, not alphabetical. And I haven’t had that in months, not since updating to 3.6.
Long story short, VS Code has decided to show me my dictionaries in alphabetical order when I hover over them while stepping code. If I do a print statement, it shows the dictionary in the correct order.
Seriously, you don’t need to do me any favors here.
Oh, the adventures I have with Visual Studio when Python is involved...3
Productivity Hack: I'm a java developer who decided to write a productivity app that integrates to-do, pomodoro and eisenhower matrix altogether with reports generation. this will also help me logging at work. I'm also using electron + angular2 + typescript, just because, well, I'm trying to learn new stuff.
Long story short, many many many many days later, i'm still waiting for that productivity boost. What is dis webpack? Wat u mean loaders? Wat promises? electron-prebuilt is now electron? Wat u mean npm and node should be updated? .....
Please send help1
why the hell would you set a router's default user/pass to nothing?! like to blank... WHY!!! spent about 2 hours trying to find this fricking thing online and of course, there's no documentation, who need that shit anyways
long story short: @router_manufacturers, set the default user/pass to "admin" AND PUT IT ON YOUR WEBSITE!!!!!!!!4
Game-devs I have a question:
What's is a regular or recommend workflow when developing a game that has a good/elaborated background story.
Let's say you are developing a game like Metal Gear or Resident Evil.
Where does the writing of the story get in? At the beginning? Your write the whole story or at list the majority of it before putting the game together?
And what's the writing style for a videogame story? You write it like a book? Or is more specific for a game?
I mean, your character Jason meets a boss and fights it: do you write: "Jasons finds evil genius hideout and meets him" or instead "the player gets to the boss and the fight starts"?
Sorry for the long question.6
Just implemented policy-based authorization in dotnet core, long story short to lock an endpoint to a certain policy I just add: [Authorization(Policy = "NAME")]
on top of function/controller declaration
Was wondering how it is done in other languages, like NodeJs, Java, Kotlin ...etc11
It started when life caught me off guard. It was one of those transition moment when you realized you are no longer a college student and you need to get a job.
I was clueless that time (still clueless - smh) that I didn't prepare my CV nor interviews. I got into panic mode and ask help from career service in my college (I rarely ask for help, and when I did that, I am really desperate).
Long story short, I got a job from the career service's connection. I don't think I did well in both the interview and technical test (of course, no prep or whatsoever, what do you expect?) but seems like we both in need of each other (maybe because my grades when I was in college is good... and maybe because my starting salary is low enough... and maybe because there was no better candidate at that moment) that I get picked.3
Not a rant but in need of some help. I'm not a WordPress expert here, more of a .Net kind of guy.
Long story short is anyone willing to help solve a php problem? Deals with form submission and multi images in a form...1
Sooooo....worked at a place (which i think was my first rant on here lol) a little while back where, to keep a long story short, was treated like shit and still managed to pull out some magic for them before i left my contract (cos work pride).
Come to new company, it is a consultancy company. The project I worked on at the previous company, they had came (while i was there, i went to the meeting) and done some requirements analysis for them (that weren't even relevant, mostly because the CIO was a tard).
Come to find out today, through the grapevine, that these lot have been claiming that they done more than requirements and actually implemented the full solution and even wrote a case study about the shit they weren't involved in. "Oh look at this GDPR project we completed for this £400M turnover company and all the problems we solved".
More hurtful cos this project I done with no help from anyone, got moaned at every day, got my references threatened, wouldn't let me work from home but anyone else could. Serious, a lesser man would have punched the CIO....repeatedly.
What would you do? I'm getting sick of fighting in every job but also getting sick of never getting any credit for the shit I've done.
Really long story. It begins when I was 11 years old, Harry Potter was kind of a hit (it was the beginning) and a lot of site based of the universe where popping everywhere on the internet. I wanted to make mine so much I subscribed to a french website which offered free tutorials on differents languages. The site is still up, it is now called OpenClassrooms and it saved my life a lot.
I tried to learn HTML (4 at the time if my memory's good) and CSS, but my mother didn't believe in my project and made me quit.
Nine years after, I was looking for something to do in my life: I tried a cursus in art history and archeology, I made a Baker school, but my life didn't feel filled.
I heard about a formation in a town near mine, and was for everyone, newbies or veterans, who wanted to have their diploma either in networks or in code.
The coding classes where fantastic. We learned VB.net, Pascal, php, laravel, C#, SQL, PL/SQL (we had a teacher who was absolutely fan of Oracle), I topped my class and now I am in the next formation for my Bachelor. Today I learn Java, Symfony, Android.
The ones who taught me to code? Internet, my teachers, books. But my teachers were the most important, because they gave me the confidence.
Back when rickrolling had hit critical mass - we decided to play a trick on a very fussy project manager. Long story short we embedded a very important message from the CEO of the company on a staging site. Said project manager was taken aback when Rick Astley took over the video.
Been working on this webapp for ~1 year, and it's finally up and running! :D
If any of you would like to review it I would be flattered u.u14
My PC kept booting into linux cause i installed two OS's on my HDD. Long story short, had to remove the Linux (it was Kali) and i didnt know how. And so started the longest few hours of my life.
I deleted the linux partition feeling like some genius that could speak to computers. To my suprise the computer didnt speak back, i restarted it and the GRUB bootloader had this sheepish grin on its face like as if it was saying, "Not sure who's been speaking to you all this time, but i bet you can hear me now, hehehe". I went down the rabbit hole that we all know and love called the google search bar.
My computer could no longer boot into windows, and i started to question my very existence on this earth. Hours of using our modern day saviour, google of alphabet inc, i came to an eventual conclusion. Grabbed a 4GB flash, made it into a bootable device and said good riddance to bad rubbish.5
One of those debugging days where minutes feel like hours, and hours like days.
I had the bad luck of being asked to dive into a legacy project which was unmaintained for months, but of course it's still on prod. And very suddenly the urgent need arrises to change stuff.
Yet: the docker stack won't work. It builds fine but the stack crashes.
Long story short: some internal api URI were renamed and at some point one internal api started to always require an access token. Which we set for the stage, prod env yet somebody forgot to mention that to the devs of legacy-project.
That ain't too bad.
WHAT IS FUCKING BAD IS THAT YOUR SHITTY APP SWALLOWS THE ERROR MESSAGE!
I mean it's bad enough I have to `var_dump && die` your app since you never bothered to setup a xdebug that I could use out of the box, yet egregious fact that your app would catch a valid exception but transforms it into an "internal warning" is borderline insane!
It's ok to throw exceptions. It's ok to let your service die. That's how other will know what and where to fix it. (You may want to restrict the data visible to the outside, but that's a whole different conversation.)
Currently implementing a new feature for a client who lost their dev team. Long story. Groovy on Grails with node.js microservices. Interesting combination.
Way too long story short: Needed to figure out how to use jQuery to update a table that had no classes or IDs to help you tell what's inside it. Worked out a looping structure to read the contents of the cell with the dependent data in each row, and then update the cell that needed changing depending on the value of the first cell.
Minified the solution and dropped it into the console. Worked exactly right on the first try.
#Warning really long post incoming and not sure if it can be considered a rant
My first job as a dev started 3 months ago and I noticed something strange/funny.
Here's the story our company is a software development one (we are aprox 300 employees), and most of our projects (70% more or less) are for a huge Insurance company in our country, a somewhat normal situation is that the company sends a dev to work full time at the insurance company for 6 months or a year (that usually is a lie and they spend 3 years or more there).
The funny part is this every Dev that is send there is mocked by everyone or receives condolences from the other devs.
I asked why and they just answered me that working as a dev in a really big company whose line of business isn't necessarily software or something related with technology is not a fun experience1
In banking industry it brings up security concerns. We were in the exact same situation, however using SAS+SPDE with some custom SAS and tsql queries. Our database was merely 100TB, still it was a nightmare to assure stable performance thoroughly, because SPDE could not properly handle SMT. After having 24h++ daily flow processing times, the managers have decided to rent a 6 years old IBM power 7 with dedicated processor cores, which eventually have truncated the processing time down to 15 hours. This was a time limited contract, for 6 months. I've left the company in a short while, but this made the managers to rethink buying a more up to date server, so now the daily processing flows now are around 11,5h. Long story short, sometimes a little architecture optimization does the trick.
TIFU by giving an inaccurate shell location when executing "chsh" on my storage server.
So, long story short, I can't SSH into my own damn storage server.1
Guys, long story short we found an investor for our app idea. What's the best route to go for us to get the people we need. Essentially we need a mobile app, but it may also need to be a kiosk, so should we look specifically for React Native developers to make a cross platform app or should we focus on ios, android, and kiosk apps natively? It involves access of sensitive information.
Has anybody experience with Scrum in small web development agencies? Especially estimating stories with story points instead of hours/days?
We have a new junior project manager, without any practical experience working agile, who wants to establish scrum because what he read about it sounded so good... I already worked agile with kanban before and I loved it, but I only have little experience with scrum.
I think scrum, or agile in general, won't work with the clients we have. Most of the time, our clients have a fixed deadline, a fixed budget (either money or time) and they know their requirements, so there is no much room for beeing agile.
Regarding story points, I just adding an unneccessary layer of abstraction, because the customer wants to know how long a specific feature takes. Sure, story points are just another, more dynamic unit for time, but then why nut estimate in static time unit in the first place? Another fear I have, is that some devs may be more ignorant regarding deadlines and expectations on customers side. "yeah I'm working for 10 days on this story, but it's 8 points!" instead of informing the project manager "Currently I spend 2 days on this feature, we estimated 3 days, but it seems I need 3 days more".
Maybe I shouldn't be worried, but it would be great if you could share your experience and learnings. Thanks in advance!14
I, I don’t even know how to search this... when I run an app from Visual Studio in IE (cancer, I know it’s a long story and above my head) my kerning is a mess. When I publish the same app to the dev server, it’s fine. The kerning appears to be the only thing messed up.3
Today, me and my boss finally made an SDK work properly on power android and iOS project. This was one though week and a half.
Now the rant part. This took us 1 week and a half because the documentation wasn't entirely correct. The worst, and for me the most irritating part, is the fact that my boss had to be on the telephone with his contact of the other company (the one behind the SDK) only in the end to hear his contact talking to.one of their developers about the flow of the communication.
Long story short, after getting the result from the SDK, we should use that information in another service that's not specified the documentation!!!!
The most annoying is when my bosses contact said to the dev that the service wasn't in the docs, his response was
"One thing is the documentation, the other is real life"
Fuck you, you dev piece of shit, you've wasted over a week of my life trying to make something work following your shitty docs!!!!
So I've gotten my first real assignment. I'm a second year media design student in the Netherlands. My job is to work out a design I've made for a platform into some front-end. The website just has to function as a product to show other people to get an idea of how it will look. It has to be responsive and has like 3 pages: Frontpage where all kinds of courses are displayed, the course page itself and a page with information about the site.
Long story short: they asked me how much that'll cost them. And I have no clue what I should answer. I think I can make this pretty quick so hourly pay would not be beneficial for me I think. What is the devrant opinion or what are your experiences with first jobs2
Long Story short. I'm developing a Web Platform for my company to share documents with our partners.
So this was way back in 2016. The site is finished for almost two years now. But the department's who wanted this in the first place didn't gave me permission to deploy until like two months ago. Now the site is running online. Yay.
Well guess what. The department responsible for the creation of sad documents, now wants a full blown configuration web site. Best part. Can it be like Free Commander? Yeah right I'm gonna build this on a website. The fuck is wrong. It was just a simple table with some helpful info to help them track their files.2
Long time no rant.
Spent the last two days trying to figure out why a legacy app that I adopted (was a surprise considering I'm a database developer not c#).
Long story short horrendous view causing issues retrieving data in an app that is slow enough as it is.
I may have suggested starting a proper product roadmap and using sprint's etc for managing development of said app. And the boss agreed, currently the process is someone asks for a feature and we drop everything and develop it so things get forgotten/pushed to the back of the queue.
So to cut to the chase, can anyone suggest any places I can read up about managing this properly?