I added a “shake-to-snow” hidden feature to an iOS app that worked only on December 25th. You’d shake your iPhone or iPad and the entire screen would start snowing for 10 seconds.

Point of view for today!

7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

Here we see the tracks of a JavaDev, which escaped from its basement enjoying the first snow...

6pm - arrive home from work, log into my computer and start working on side projects.

4am - Finally go to sleep after staying up all night setting up arch in a vm.

7am - Start drive to work in the snow and ice.

7:20am - car runs out of wiper fluid.

7:30am - round corner so that I’m driving towards the sun, windshield is covered in mud and I have 2% visibility.

7:35am - take off ramp towards gas station so I can buy fluid and wash window.

7:36am - Car mysteriously parked in center of off ramp, nearly smash it but have a narrow miss.

7:40am - can’t find the freaking pully in new car to pop hood

7:41am - found it.

7:50am - drove the back way to work because it cuts out traffic, but includes many steep hills that I forgot existed, come to a skid at bottom of one and am pushed out into the main road, luckily nobody is coming and I’m able to continue on my merry way.

8:01am - sit down in desk, lead staff person comes over evoking Lumbergh from Office Space and lets me know I need to be on time to work and that the snow doesn’t give me an excuse. I agree and smile and suck up and he leaves.

8:02am - pull out phone to write down notes about personal project that I thought of on drive here, phone dies. I forgot to plug it in last night.

8:04am - found power bank charger thing in desk but it uses a micro-b type usb and I only have usb type c on me.

8:10am - borrow usb from old headset in office surplus.

8:11am - writing notes. Have sudden realization that I didn’t shut down my vm and that when my computer went to sleep and subsequently locked it probably halted virtualbox and everything would be lost for the second time.

8:12am - got on devRant.

Boss: Who knows VB?
Me: I once wrote a calculator
Boss: Good enough! You will edit the companies biggest VB Application.

Lesson learned. When your Boss asks if you know a programming language you do not really know, you are like John Snow: Know nothing

I have my reasons that Socrates once tried to understand how Docker works, because I have exactly the same feelings.

Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]

It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.

I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.

Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.

It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.

*steers left*
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*Breaks*
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"

Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.

I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.

She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.

I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.

Got a call a few weeks later:

"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."

"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."

"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"

"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"

"I understand."

The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.

After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.

"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"

"Hello, yes, speak up?"

"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."

The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.

She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.

My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.

Having fun, fellow northern europeans?

!dev
We now have around 10cm snow and it make my way to college around 300% harder,
But I don't care, because this looks fucking beautiful.

Also, I can approve this famous saying about German trains,
"Caution! Doesn't work in case of:
Weather"

It’s been a mother fucking Monday... Couldn’t sleep last night and by the time I did fall asleep it was already 4 A.M.

Then this morning, my fucking car locked me out. When I bought the car, it didn’t come with a spare key or a manual key. I finally was able to unlock the fucking thing and boom, won’t start because “they key isn’t in the vehicle.” Replaced the battery and still the same shit... FUCK!!!!

Walked to work in -12 degree windy ass weather.

Lost my cash somewhere between here and there. Haven’t ate lunch..

An hour late to work.

Get to work, boom server down for our Xray images and we’ve got two patients needing CT scans before we fly them out.... Get another back up computer going and low and behold 168 fucking windows updates!

Fuck today, I’m so far done with this bullshit.... oh and it’s starting to fucking snow.

Spelling and punctuation, I don’t give a rats ass if it’s not correct at this point. If someone would like to come and knock me out, that’d be great.

While everyone else is working, I took vacation for the whole December. Turns out, that was a brilliant move!

I stroll 20+km every day in this beautiful, puffy scenery.

When you don't have a stress ball and have to make one with resources nearby. :/

I was at Leeds Central train station the other day, waiting for the platform to be announced on the screen in the main bit. I noticed a commotion to my right. There was a teenage girl screaming and writhing around on the floor, her mother was knelt on one knee trying to calm her. I walked over without thinking, I know nothing about Epilepsy or first aid, at a push I could probably figure out the recovery position from a faint diagram i have stored in the unused part if my brain...

(it’s where I keep the washing machine instructions, which incidentally were designed for maximum confusion, if Id designed a washing machine it would have 1 button labelled ‘wash’)...

Sorry, back to the story. So i walked over and just before I got there, with the mother looking directly at me, I realised, what the fuck am I doing, meanwhile the daughter was screaming still and writhing, a bit like a rapid angel print you would make in the snow as a kid (until your hand touched the dog shit).

I couldn’t help it, the words just came out, like a dumb fucker, i said ‘Has she got epilepsy?’ , i stood there waiting for the sarcastic comment or the murderous stare, even a fuck off would suffice, so that I could remove myself from the situation.

To my surprise, and shock, she looked at me, calmly and said “oh no, it’s not epilepsy or anything like that.... she’s lost her iPhone”.

First snow in South Korea ~~

(Shit, my delivery will be delayed.)

How I've got my previous job?
Imagine you are in a wild techno club. Dark aisles, A dj from berlin behind the turntables blasting out hard beats, couples kissing on extasy pills.

And there was a friend I've didn't meet in ages. "how do you do?" she asks. "ah... you know i'm on a job hunt for a year i feel misrable". "really? my dad is looking for somebody, send him your resNZNZNZ!" "WHAT? can't hear you!" "Send him your resume!" "Ahhh! okay great!"

So on 24. december 5pm, snow outside, i've sat on wooden table in the kitchen of her father discussing the conditions for the job. It was the start of a crazy time. Dining with millionaires on their Castles. Shaking hands with top businesses leaders. Going to China and having dinner with the 500 richest chinese at once. Wild!

so my advice for you nerds, don't stay in your comfort zone behind the screen on weekends. Vistit a techno club sometimes. You may find a pretty girl/boy with a CEO as a father.

SNOW!! LOADS OF SNOW AND MORE TO COME OVERNIGHT!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!

I know I sound childish. I don't care. Nothing brings me as much sincere joy as loads of snow or even blizards.

Geez... Got woken up by a catastrophe alert.

Check phone, could be someone shooting up the neighborhood or something else to excuse myself from a social event.

Someone thought that 40 km/h wind and 20 cm of snow are a catastrophe.

Fuck this country.

Yes!! Perfect code weather ☃️

So... if github and twitter are both down - I don't have to work today, right? It's like a snow day, isn't it?

Attended a Hackathon for the last two days as a Volunteer. Now I'm Home and feeling like Jon Snow.

I didnt understnd why people hated white themes because the are too bright, not untill I looked out of the window today and my eyes were bleeding because the snow made everything as bright as if I would stare into the sun!

Every side of my window is filled with pine-tree and the beautiful vision of snow. But I have to struggle with Jax-RS in weblogic instead of snowball.

When you're a fourth semester Java student and decide to try your hand at making an android app... Only to find that it involves almost none of what you've learned so far.

I want to fight climate change because i want my snow back.

This is what matters.

Economical reasons? Nah
Being nice to earth? Nah
Doomsday reasons? Nah
I want to see snow in my city again? Yes!

!rant
Greetings to all of you from sunny Dolomites! There is nothing like skiing with family on winter holiday.

In Germany trains seem to become completely immobile if there is a single flake of snow.⛄😊

!rant

Snow may be around
There may be no sound
Except for the quiet hum
Of a devs system

While you want to stay up and code
Don't forget to decorate your abode
For it's that time of year to put up the tree
And surround yourself with family

A computer is Jon Snow . "It knows Nothing". Still does everything.

Beautiful Sunday morning, still no snow here (😒 mother nature) and I realized that I am... Googleable. Like, my name is now out there because of publications. Like, I have been protecting my identity for a long time now, so it's very annoying that I finally have been exposed.

Anyways, how do y'all deal with online fame and recognition?

Boyfriend just got rejected after spending 45 minutes annotating a video using a company's shitty product they asked him to learn and utilize for the interview itself.

He did a fine job, if I do say so myself.

He was rejected today, with no reason other than a list of "common things that might have triggered a rejection".

Oh and the classic "we're sorry, we can't tell you why we rejected you - but we look forward to you re-applying in 45 days!"

Why the fuck not? If you're a recruiter and you do this shit, go royally fuck yourself. It's so beyond unprofessional and there's zero reason for it.

If he fucked up and failed, fine. At least tell him why. Be fucking adults. Your shit fucking stinks just like everyone else's, this isn't American Idol or the Hunger Games; you're not President Snow, and even Simon will tell you why you suck.

Fucking aggravating.

!dev && rant
Temperature causing temper!!!

Summer 2009...
Me: Dad, can me and sis go swim in the pool?
Dad: No son, you can only swim if it's 25°C or higher.
Which in practice meant that we could only swim a few days each summer. Average in Belgium used to be about 21°C.

Spring 2019, my younger siblings...
Little sis: Mom, can we go swim in the pool?
Mom: Lol sure, it's only April but it's already way hot enough.. and during summer it'll be too hot to do the work on setting up the pool anyway.

Winter 2029, in Antarctica...
Me, to my children: During my old days my children, we had this thing called snow!! And we lived in the wasteland that used to be the glorious Europe, back when it was still habitable.. you should've seen it, now it's a desert, but back then it was awesome!
My children: Mum!! He's acting senile again, and talking about things that don't exist!!!

Coming to the crux of the problem right now, fuck me.. I'm tired as fuck but can't sleep because already in the fucking spring, my house is too fucking hot to be able to sleep without sweating like a pig!!!
AaaaaAAAAA 😣

Woke up this morning to a fucking giant snowstorm and my first reaction was 'fml' , poured some coffee , lit a smoke and started checking my work mail 'Issue xxxx response : Not solvable '...what the...I go through the files on my phone , look at what that issue was : lack of proper validation , filtering and encoding of input thus enabling xss . Not solvable my ass ...simply adding literally 3 more characters to that fucking retarded filter would stop all the bypasses . This issue is a showstopper for their project and that is what they answer ?
Sorry to indians out here but some of your colleagues are as stupid and unimaginative as they can possibly ever come .

Why THE FUCK is it snowing outside?

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Dashing through the snow
Get the fuck out of my way
You are all so slow
and fat, what do you weigh?
HA HA !!
I'll end your caroling
but It won't be a silent night
I've come to terrorize your town
and watch you die tonight
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
I've hijacked Santa's sleigh
Oh what fun it is to ride over bodies every day
HEY !!
Jingle Bells
Go to hell
Bodies will decay
after you're all crushed beneath my motherfucking sleigh
HEY !!

Credits: Insanity Wold

1. I'm sick with a cold. I'm dying.

2. You know, it feels like some objects' destiny is bound to mine. Like this woolen shawl that over 15 years ago I used to use to keep my head warm in the heavy snow, then forgot it existed and now it resurfaced as I was talking to mom about my head being cold while having the cold.

3. If things go well, this shawl will come with me on my next trip. That is, if this cold doesn't make a stop in afterlife.
**achoo**

me: *goes to stack overflow to get some points*
*searches for questions I only know*
*scrolls down to find unanswered questions*
*keeps scrolling*
*finds a question I can answer*
*types in my answer*
*finds out that someone has answered
the question with better explanation*
*decides not to submit my answer*
*looks for other questions to answer*
*keeps scrolling*
*scrolls some more*
*scrolls for the last time*
*realizes I'm Jon Snow*
*exits stack overflow*

100 weeks is ~ 2 years away.

It will be year 2020 then, the year i thought about in highschool 8 years ago wondering what I'd do then since 2020 sounded like a cool number.

It's time to write a letter to my future self.

Dear holodreamer ( version 2020 ),

This is your old version speaking from 2018. I see that you have upgraded to a better version of myself. I see that you are finally financially independent and preparing to move out to somewhere peaceful and better. According to my calculations, you should be feeling pressure from your family and relatives to get married. Looking from my perspective, it seems you had other plans than to settle for relationship this year, like traveling the world, being in the snow, mountains and living an adventurous lifestyle. I want you to know I'm proud of you if you are following though those goals.

Btw, do you remember that random muslim girl you met on the internet 110 weeks ago? Is she still in contact with you every day?! I hope not. Is she still super religious? She was a good chat buddy for me, a great alternative to a chatbots at my time but I hope you didn't get carried away with her and I hope you don't have to resort to chatbots to cure loneliness.

Did AI replace developers? Is JavaScript still the most popular programming language?

I'm waiting for your response.

Best wishes,
holodreamer (version 2018)

Hey! First post on rant by saying merry Xmass!
This is my Christmas tree made from JavaScript ! I can change the height of the foliage and the wood part follow !
For those like me who live in a country where you only have the cold but not the snow 😅❄️

Subaru's Symmetrical AWD is the best thing in the world at the moment. Also, warning: !dev

Tl;dr: I'm getting another RPi3 thanks to awesome engineering.

Got a couple of inches of light snow here, and on my way home I came across a GMC Sierra dually stuck at the bottom of a moderately sized ditch. Naturally, I stopped by in my Forester and offered to tow it out.

With my 20ft tow rope stretched to its full length I was barely touching the road. He signalled that he was ready, and I gunned it. Slowly but surely the truck crawled out of the 6ft deep trench. She crested the hill with much applause (from me and the driver of the truck). As a thanks, he gave me $30.

Looks like I'm gonna get a new Raspberry Pi to play with. I think I'll turn this one into a countertop MAME arcade machine.

And for those of you wondering why I'm praising Symmetrical AWD as opposed to AWD in general, here's a quick lesson in drivetrains:
Most all wheel drive cars power the front wheels most of the time. This saves on fuel economy. The thing is, power is only transmitted to the rear wheels when the front wheels start to lose traction. At that point you're already screwed; only two wheels at any one time are putting useful power to the road.
Symmetrical AWD systems, like you'll find in all Subarus and most performance cars, distribute the vehicle's torque eaqually front-rear at all times. So instead of waiting until the front wheels start slipping, all of the wheels are powered right off the bat.

To make this more devvy: grrrr php, vim is best, I configured the tab key to enter four spaces, js has too many damn frameworks and they're still being pumped out faster than rabbits in a bunny farm.

Built a C#/.NET application with support for a serial device. Tested it on systems A, B, C initially, all Windows system, same .NET version, same targeting, same build tool version, same initial connection configuration etc, etc.

Testing - works on A and C, B nopes.
...
OK, let's check the source, is there something about B that makes it impossible to execute that bit? - No, there is not, you checked that already, stop poking around, it definitively should work on B.
...
OK, maybe admin privileges, there is I/O involved, didn't need that on A and C, but who knows - nope, doesn't work on B.
...
OK, maybe something wrong with the connection settings? First try at reinstalling driver - but no, it doesn't work on B.
...
OK let's try with another device - more/less devices on B. Other USB ports. No. Still does not work on B.
...
OK, this is stupid, but, is the cabling alright? It is, of course it is, stupid - but it still does not work on B.
...
OK, at that point I'm just gonna ask a colleague, GrumpySoftwareDev whether he has any clue why it doesn't work on B. GrumpySoftwareDev knows nothing, but discovers that one of his applications doesn't work on Windows 10. You know nothing, Jon Snow, but it doesn't work on B.
...
OK, now I'm just going to ask another colleague TheLastOfHisKind who handed B down to me somewhat bluntly if he ever experienced problems when working with B and its serial configuration. TheLastOfHisKind tells me he does not and kindly offers me some input on the situation. Still no progress to get it working on B but he hinted he might have fucked up B's driver. I already reinstalled the driver but didn't reboot, which comes after reinstall.
...
OK, I'm just gonna remove and re-install the driver, then restart. Hu! Now the UI is gone but another serial device reacted on a general call. Not fully working on B but we're getting there.
...
OK, I don't know, I'm getting frustrated, let's borrow another system D - which has roughly the same configuration as B - from my colleague StrongCurrentGuy. StrongCurrentGuy borrows me his system and cautions me not to break it. I install the driver, plug the device and copy the application from B. It just works on D. Not on B though.
...
OK, you know what. I'm done. For shits and giggles I'm gonna remove that driver again, reinstall it and restart, maybe it'll magically work afterwar- WHAT THE HELL, I JUST OPENED IT AFTER RESTARTING, IT JUST WORKS - ON B!

... seriously, what the fuck. But yeah, at least it works now.

Ever had a day that felt like you're shoveling snow from the driveway? In a blizzard? With thunderstorms & falling unicorns? Like you shovel away one m² & turn around and no footprints visible anymore? And snow built up to your neck?

Today my work day was like that.. xcept shit..shit instead of pretty & puffy snow!!

Working on things a & b, trying to not mess either one up, then comes shit x, coworker was updating production.. ofc something went wrong.. again not testing after the update..then me 'to da rescue'.. :/ hardly patch things up, so it works..in a way.. feature c still missing due to needed workarounds.. going back to a and b.. got disrupted by the same coworker who is nver listening, but always asking too much..

And when I think I finally have the b thing figured out a f-ing blocker from one of our biggest clients.. The whole system is unresponsive.. Needles to say, same guy in support for two companies (their end), so they filed the jira blocker with the wrong customer that doesn't have a SLA so no urgent emails..and then the phone calls.. and then the hell broke loose.. checking what is happening.. After frantic calls from our dba to anyone who even knows that our customer exists if they were doing sth on the db.. noup, not a single one was fucking with the prod db.. The hell! Materialised view created 10 mins ago that blocked everything..set to recreate every 10 minutes..with a query that I am guessing couldn't even select all that data in under 15.. dafaaaq?! Then we kill it..and again it is there.. We found out that customers dbas were testing something on live environment, oblivious that they mamaged to block the entire db..
FML, I'm going pokemon hunting.. :/ codename for ingress n beer..

First day in new job, decided to take the train because city is so overloaded with cars, it is end of april and snow outside wtf. Best weather for coding :D

I'm definitely not a person who says or thinks of those things liberally, but.. I think I might have a ghost in my apartment :)

I have no other sane/rational way to explain all those noises...

Me :: How do you know the difference between snowman and snow woman?

My Friend :: I don't know.

Me :: The difference is snowballs.

Beautiful...

‪So much snow outside that I'm drinking hot chocolate like other dev's drink coffee. ‬

We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅

96hrs (3 days), I was working with violent autistic kids at the time. Snow storm prevented coworkers from coming in, so I stayed.

Am I the only one who hates dealing with IT support guys... they think you are like Jon snow and now nothing of IT

!dev
Snow is fun and festive when you aren't sitting in a train stuck due to the weather. Growl :/

Sitting at work. Just had a convo about older versions of Visual Studio. I was like "you youngins with you intellisense and backwards compatibility. In VS2005 we had to climb 15 miles in the snow. Uphill. And when we only had 200 compatibility issues with VS2008 we thanked Microsoft for the privilege. What Linux? You think my school provided Linux? Linux is for earners. Top sellers. Leaders of men. Cross-platform compatibility meant that it worked on a Dell with Windows and a Gateway with Windows. I tell you those were dark times."

Am I the only one who thinks the installation process for arch linux should be narrated by Jigsaw from the Saw movies?

!dev

Swedish winters are weird, I can't remember last time we had snow around Christmas. Today it's white everywhere outside, but I doubt it is because it has fallen snow tonight. It's probably just the frost...

If you throw a dirty gunk-ice-snow-mix ball into my food while I'm walking to school WHILE I AM REALLY FUCKING HUNGRY, I'm going to pour that now non-edible food onto your head, dimwit.

I don't care if your clothes were expensive or if you threw it in there accidentally. Maybe next time at least throw a non-dirty snowball, there was plenty of fresh snow.

OMFG, my upper back is so painfully stiff that I can't even breathe in w/o feeling like two knives are stabbed right between my shoulder blades.

And the weather outside is sooo excellent - first snow this season and it's so white and clean all around. A child inside me already has his mittens and warm boots on and impatiently waiting at the door to get outside to play with the snow.

And I'm supposed to somehow concentrate on work.

Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴

Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down

Wondering what is the best true random generator ? Weather in Paris. One month ago, snow chaos. Last week it's almost 30 (celsius) and now it's raining and the windchill is around -100 celsius.

!dev
At my current work (sports wear bla bla bla) we recently had couple of brands come by (136people) and had a presentation. One of the market lead peps stood and talked about future plans and projects in the following:

👨🏻‍💼MarketGuy: "we want to improve the e-shop service and direct booking system. Think about it, AI, machine learning and deep network, these are all out there and we should consider working with it!"

👨🏻Me: ... *Thinking* "buzzwords, buzzwords everywhere.. dude you don't even know how to excel..

👨🏻‍💼: *Continues babbling about website, Blockchain and AI together with sportswear and the future of working together*

MAH GAAAD (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻
I need a coffee.. ☕

How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh prints.

So I had two job interviews yesterday. Except they both got cancelled due to the snow. Luckily I got them both rescheduled to next Monday. But I wasn't happy about the weather ruining my carefully crafted plans. Work gets more toxic by the day and I want to get out of here.

once upon a time I went on vacation.

It was for 5 days and I went to Leh-Ladakh with my family. (Me, My big bro and my parents.)

It's a beautiful and cold place. Snow and High Mountain and no phone call from anyone.

It was supposed to be no call. But on the 3 days, I got a call from my junior and he said to me that server is not working and it's giving 404 error.

So I told him to go to Cpanel (It was client's server). After 1 hour I got a call back from him and he was not able to fix it.

So I had to open the Cpanel in my Galaxy Note 8, Open file manager, go through all the files and logs and fix it code in 2 or 3 files.

It took 4 hours to fix the problem. But that day I understood the value of my Note 8 and its big screen. Thank you, Samsung.

Note: The lake in the photo is Pangong Lake/

I've worked with few incompetent people till now, but one guy who stands out is my peer who is a "Lead Developer".

First of all he knows nothing!! Even Jon Snow knows something, but this guy knows absolutely nothing. And on top of that he has a hard ass attitude. Never sticks to coding standards, pushes unwanted configuration files to Git, uses too many nested loops even when not even a single one is required.

And when I suggest him something, he starts giving these lame ass reasons and tries to avoid my comments. Then I say, "good luck with that buddy" and move on!!

> Snow expected tomorrow
> Railservices declare a state of emergency

PSA for all dutchies here, check the reisplanner app

Don't you just hate it when it's almost May and there's snow everywhere when you head to work?

Maybe, after all these years, we'll finally get to have a white Christmas again :D

A colegue of mine replaced his Windows installation for Ubuntu. Then he replaced the Ubuntu wallpaper for the Windows 10 wallpaper and installed a dock with the Snow Leopard theme.

Since there's ricers in the car scene, I think he's a desktop ricer.

Sometimes dev-people need some break😊 I love to skiing. What's your way to take a break?

When the „Senior“ of your colleague only stands for this
- knowledge of ancient technologies and practices
- Speed of a pensioner
- ability to learn like a dementia
- John snow knows more about coding the he does

This is not the senior you are looking for

Stuck in work frozen with the snow and my boss wont let us go home even though theres no work!

Client A: “What does that little button do? It looks so not fit in though. Can we just remove it?”

Me: “It basically serves as a sort function and to make those data look more tidy when you first input them. Especially when it comes from many sources, it .....blah blah blah.... So it's quite inportant to stay there according to UX basic.”

Client A: “??????????”

Me whispering: “Jon Snow.....”

Client A: “Sorry, what?”

Me : “Noooothing~ let’s talk about the other module shall we?”

The crown jewel of my collection. Snow-white Mr. Kinder, wearing a pointy hat, holding balloons that say “KKK”. You can’t make this shit up.

So I am driving home and stop at a light. Some dude in a truck behind me starts flipping me off at the light. The road is 45mph and 2 lanes. I am in the right lane. So when the light changes I speed up to 35mph so he can pass me. He decides to tailgate me and honk at me. So I stay steady and he eventually goes around me. I keep my distance. But it looks like he is going to the same place as me. Before I get to the road I want to park for my destination he takes the same road and parks his truck and trailer where I normally park facing the wrong direction. Okay, wtf, but okay. So I go further down the road to turn around and park somewhere else. He guns his truck to cut me off from that parking spot. I have to hit my brakes to prevent hitting him. I raise my hands in the are like "why?" I then finish turning around and head back to my parking spot and park. So this guy tried to cause a car accident. At this point I took my stuff inside and put it away. Came back out and called the police to report the incident. They said they cannot identify a crime, but I can fill out a police report. While I am on the phone with the police this guy leaves that street giving me this bizarre deranged smile. I refuse to engage. I spent the next hour filling out the police report. In the process I find out he lives on that street a few houses down. I am nowhere near his house, but he seems to not like me parking on that street. This guy must have seen my car on that street before and decides to randomly road rage. I gave his name and address to the police. My intent to build a case file if he doesn't knock this shit off.

So now I gotta buy a fucking dash cam and put it in my car because of some nutjob plumber. I have nothing against plumbers, but this guy fits the definition of knuckle dragger. His name isn't even Mario or Luigi, bummer.

Another thing that might be related is that during the winter somebody dumped a ton of snow onto my car when it was parked there. It looked like it was on purpose. If this is the same guy this guy drove his snow plow 4 houses down. Definitely has mental problems.

When there is a blizzard and all local buisnesses shutdown, kids are stuck at home, and the doors to the office are locked but the CEO sends out an email reminding all software developers to remotely work from home as long as they still have power and everyone else gets paid time off due to the weather.

Shit week....

Defragmentation of several applications codebase(s), sifting out duplicate code and creating a library out of it. Bash.

Not funny.

Yesterday while cooking I was too fast.
Chopping board with adjustable cutting depth, was at 6mm. Right thumb. Full speed. :(

Boy that wasn't pretty. Bled for half an hour and created quite a mess while trying to find some band aid to get pressure on it. Guess I'll have fun the next week's as no thumb is pretty handicapped .

And today we have in Germany a pretty severe snow storm.

I really hope that the server rooms @ company don't get flooded or shit like that.

Ah I love that movie.. Hero, from 2002. I've seen it in the cinema three times. It's a real marvel, especially the scene where the forest turns red right after Snow killed Moon.

I also like how the quotes are adaptable:

Martial arts and programming are quite different, but they are based on the same principle: striving for highest perfection.

The essence of programming reveals itself through study and meditation.

(The latter one is also one of my favourite lines at work when being asked how come I know some esoteric stuff: it revealed itself through study and meditation.)

What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?

Can we delete snow from existence

So, my internet (business class with a /28 ipv4 block) went out for 15-30min during the snowstorm yesterday.
Due to previous issues i wanted to be sure it was an actual outtage.
1st- login page got a error for unavailable resource.
2nd- their link to more info was this 404

I seriously need to find a more sane solution.

!dev

Where I live just got it’s first snow of the year!

This shitty nodejs is a hell of a lot less crappy when it’s accompanied by hot chocolate and snow

When a snow leopard discover devrant...

Dum di dum ... One more day of work, and then snowboarding all over dem pretty mountains... We came up with a theme, cokelympics, since it dumped loads and loads of snow...

So the bus I get into work has been cancelled and my office manager said I could have the day off but I had some important stuff he needed me to finish so I remembered I had TeamViewer installed on my work machine so I'm going to be working from home today

Fuck the traffic jam I'm dealing with every damn day since two fucking months. It takes 1,5 fucking hours to geht the fuck home from work. I'm done with public transportation. I'm gonna take my shitty bike out even if the fucking temperatures are lower than the standards of the fucking people who misplanned this goddamn street reconstruction.

I hate snow.

After working at one internship: I have covered the basics of Development.
After trying to publish my own app: I know nothing. I'm Jon Snow of programming.

Anyone in London knows that when there's a single drop of snow on the train tracks, the whole fucking train system collapses.

Not looking good... But then again if Internet goes down... I can haz a snow day!

What is thin line between:

- "being a leader" and "helping others succeed" and "making team working together"

vs.

- having to get shit done myself because team can't reliably deliver even basic tasks, and ultimately managers expect you to make "the team" shit done

IMO these are 2 different things. Complete opposite. Like snow vs fire. Like shit vs parfume. Yet my manager see it as almost same thing.

Fucking windows updates...

Went to do a job on a tank in 18 deg F Weather with snow on the ground. One guy brought an ice fishing tent (very nice). This is next to petroleum tank. We got guys on top of tank waiting for me to get data using a Windows 10 lappy.

Lappy comes up and tries to get into bios to do a firmware update. WTF! I reboot and it does it again! Go to look for power adapter as it wont do update without power. Not in bag. It has to have power to do update.

So I drive back to shop (with guys waiting on top of tank) which is 5 miles away. I am pissed. Its snowing and I have to drive slow. I find that adapter. I get back to the tank and plug it in. The AC source (battery based) starts alarming as the lappy takes too much power. Fuck! But somehow it boots Windows without doing firmware update. Fuck you Windows!

I get my job done, but don't fucking trust windows at all. Had this been a field tech he would be pissing his pants. Useless shitty software you have zero control over. Now considering changing their OS to Linux for field work. I am rewriting their software anyway with something can run Windows or Linux.

Recep Tayyip Erdogan had a problem — after his army service, he got so used to cold that he could only sleep on a raw, cold metal grill. Usually, normal people put mattress on top, but Erdogan didn’t feel right this way. So, in one of his personal prisons, he established a social project for making a full metal bed for himself.

For starters, to calculate the shape, he took the smallest man ever (3 inches high) with his fingers and sunk him into molten plastic. “What are you doing?! It hurts!” — man screamed. “Shut up. You’re on an important mission. Your motherland won’t forget you.”
After three months, the bed was ready. It was more of the same — metal bars, but this time with some kind of structure built of metal hinges, rebar and strong springs. This was the day — this was the big reveal event. It took place in the same prison — three prisoners were ready to lay on their new full metal beds, while news crews congratulated Erdogan and celebrated his greatness. “Well, it is time!” — he said.
Prisoners laid flat. An awful screeching sound. Prisoner number two is bleeding out. The spring mechanism broke out and impaled his chest onto a large metal bar. He’s not breathing.
“Shut it down. Shut it all down. No more cameras, no more news”, — said Erdogan.
“Yes, our master”, — said news crews.

They wanted to draft me to Afghanistan.
“No!”, — a young officer shouted, misgendering me — “He doesn’t know the stages of pain. Useless.”
“Are you perhaps arguing pain with a bipolar patient?” — I replied.
“You are a rave. Nothing but a rave.”

Raves spawned near your doors at night. Sometimes, they even spawned on the inside. I can’t say you were in danger, but it certainly wasn’t a pleasant thing to happen to anyone. They looked ugly. They dressed weird. They spoke in riddles.
“How do I move to Europe?”, — a rave asked.
“I…”
“Shut up!”
Rave took a door, suspiciously painted over and over multiple times, and started to slam my door with it, using it as a ram.
My door started giving in.

Alarm system.
On a separate note, to disable the alarm system, you have to speedrun Stanley Parable. It’s the hardest speedrun ever, specifically its hidden ending. It disables all alarm systems in three-mile radius IRL. No one knows how it works, but it does. Back to the danger zone!

“The better quality time you spend sitting on your toilet, the more you’ll live.”, — an officer said.
“I once had a girl blow me while I was shitting,” — Matthias replied — “You have nothing on me.”
“Fair enough!”

It is a little known fact, but the liquid that Northern cities use to clean up snow isn’t quite what it seems like. It’s not salt — in reality, there are bases on Mars, and they store pink goo that… “iMpRoVeS” dead bodies. The liquid is biological in nature, and it expires. Expired liquid is recycled as snow melter. You learn that in high school, but now, living on a train, you should know that there are special learning rooms here, in every. single. carriage. The small gym ball with two handles on its sides is called Gandhi ball. Fun fact: if you wear headless Segways on top of your shoes, and then lay flat holding a Gandhi ball, you can reach the speed of 270 kph!

Today’s news: a Reddit moderator and a legless woman gave birth to a living sex toy for their domestic boar.

i don't understand what would be termed as "relaxing" for me.
when i was in college , i watched a lot of movies on romance, bromance and friendship. being from a very angry , isolated family with bitter relationships from relatives, we had almost 0 people to interact with.
i personnally was also very different from society and struggled making friends.

as of now i did have somewhat come over this problem and have a good number of "known people" (atleast 500+) that i can categorise into'
- A just people with whom i shared a situation( college, office, tutions)
-B people with whom i have spent my free times in those situations (aka friends, and free time = lunch breaks, seat sharing, projects with them, etc)
-C people with whom i spent some time willingly( aka close friends from college, tutions and home, with whom i played cricket, went on partying/touring places , etc)

-D people whom i liked but never got a love back( aka girls to whom i told i like them. they mostly belonged to category C but eventually went to category A)

previously the category C people were special for me and i would weave my life around them. like all those bromance and friendship movies? these are the guys with whom i would do that. world tours and awesome weird shit? these people will be their in the pic... i would wish them on birthdays, i will call them every few days, go meet with them , have a bite, plan trips, movies , etc...

but today i feel am so done with everyone. i feel like everyone is so fake and forgetful, no one is worth my attention. i can easily forget wishing them birthdays or calling/meeting them every few weeks, because i don't want to or care about it.

friendship , from what i have realised, is just a means of dealing with a task in a group. it just provides a herd immunity and herd advantage . and once you learn how to survive alone, you don't really see a point in it. after coming out of college i was alone in the world, as my friends were from different fields. before college, i thought these were the guys with whom we will be living as F.R.I.E.N.D.S, not just in terms of relation, but rather in a symbiotic way: each one helping each other.
today, i feel criingy just thinking about it.

no friend will remember you for more than a year if you die now. everyone will move on. and in the struggling phase that me and my friends are right now (20-30s), we don't even need to die to forget our friendships.
my so called friends have wished me less on my birthdays than the lifeless apps i have on my phone.

so neither i am expecting someone to do something for me, nor do i think i want to do anything with anyone

------
so back to the problem, i don't know how will i find some relax or meaningful time anymore.
i am always up for trips and one of the first person to say yes to plans.

once upon a time i had this realisation that in a trip, we can enjoy 3 things:
1. the people with whom we are
2. the place we are visiting : the locals, the foods, the nature
3. the mode of travel : car on highways, bikes or flights above the clouds , or some memorable train journeys, etc.

but lately so even that seems to be not working out.
- the people are shit
- places feel like somewhat same everywhere . it's either : rocks/mountains or snow or water or buildings and population. it's just a temporary change of scenary and doesn't really gives a feeling of peace. same for mode of transport.

if i rule the going out part, the things that remains is to enjoying your job, home family and daily life. that i do , but that's the thing that creates an environment of "bored-out"-ism in my mind.

i don't know what i am looking for. the only thing i have not experienced is that class D of people. to have a token of faith/respect/appreciation/love from a non blood related person. to have someone with home i will not feel "bored out" when am planning a journey with them.

mathematically , it seems so far fetched and crazily impossible. like if get bored out and loose trust on people whom i shared most of my life after 50-60 meets, how can i be not bored, and be unhappy with a person to whom i have to see each day?

but since this happens for most of the couples, i will say the mind is the biggest and the most fantasizing mystery of human body ❤️ 💔

No experience in web, yet the radio guys in my university are pretty insistent on me building their website from scratch, "because I'm studying computer engineering."
I know nothin Jon Snow!

When you wake up, walk past a window and get coffee only to notice on the way back past that same window, that its snowing. Wow did not expect that to hapen here. I need more coffee if i want to survive this day

My client meeting was cancelled because of the snow, and the rescheduled meeting is in a weeks time. Meanwhile I have about two quid to my name. What sort of a project can I do that will take me less than a day or two and pay out instantly?

It's a beautiful day outside. I wish it were raining. We're forced to work Sunday and I already hate it.

There are 52 Sundays in a year, and 1/3 of them are covered in snow, ice and brutal winter. I don't want to be here today. I want to be outside.

Almost everyone in this room has a partner or kids or someone to go home to. I get to go home alone. I hate it here. I can't even look at my manager any more. I hate him. I will never do this again. No amount of money gets you a Sunday back.

What the fuck does Spring Break mean?!
A: Spring has begun.
B: Here's a break. Go have some fun!
But no, here in Buffalo, the snow doesn't give a shit, it keeps falling!
And no! You want a break? How fucking cute! Here are two projects for you to work on that you gotta submit , the first day after spring break ends! and a midterm exam the day after!
Fmfl.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?

I installed Linux and ended up on Ask Ubuntu trying to fix a bug. From there it kind of snow balled into learning Bash and got interested.

Thank you Microsoft VSTS/Azure for giving everyone a snow day in September.

What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?

2 things I am never gonna see in my life.
1. Parties
2. Snow

I fucking hate snow, fuck off. Literally a fucking nuisance to the whole world. Trains getting cancelled, roads completely fucked to drive on. Fucking stupid.

So today I learned how tree shaking works and I was just about to publish patches to my NPM modules when the registry gave up.

About stellar too

I don’t know if I can fly
to the moon or to the stars
but I’ve felt how moon tasted
in the year nineteen forty one

darkess
war
despite, moon

white light
white snow
white bread
that isn’t there

no bread is there

it’s peaceful now
I’m eating almost every day

but the moon looked tasty
but the moon tasted white

So I was wandering around Lithuania during a time period when the freaks were playing nice. Took some pictures of hot chocolate or coffee can't remember long time ago and some photos of a nice snow covered trail and added some Cyrillic what a nice vacation

True story

This is in Russia immediately after my trip to Lithuania

The people were certainly not twisted freaks who were acting nice for once and leaving me alone instead of acting like fucked up chomo captors. A word I never use but I've been inspired by hearing it over and over

I like it here
There are Tons of people I get along with who have the same interests

Guys, I need a mood bump :/ Christmas is almost here and it's raining as hell outside..

Does anyone have a snowy view whereever you are? Could you share those views? Thank you!

Oh no... Please no...

Snow is like nature having sex and they cum

What did one snowman say to the other snow man? Do you smell carrot?

Anyone else take the day off because of the snow/ice in the UK? ❄

How was the snow globe feeling after the storm? A little shaken.

Websites that use a snow effect in Winter, with many little snowflakes moving on screen, needlessly drain the battery of mobile devices. Since batteries in portable electronics are usually not replaceable as of 2022, it also shortens the overall useful life of mobile devices.

If web designers feel the need to appear creative, which the snowflake effect isn't since it apparently existed since the 2000s, they should at least give users an option to turn it off. And that option should be available without logging in. Perhaps this useless effect should be turned off by default for mobile users.

We are practically having tropical weather as the snow is melting.

The shop was closed, so what might have been
That day was cut short, but you lay down
In the clean snow outside and moved your arms.

And you got up, and realising yourself
Looked at, looked for a moment so beautiful,
The angel in the snow covered her eyes.

Then you laughed, and turned, and ran
The short way home, to shake off the cold
In the busy warmth of your mother's kitchen.

And you grew up, and bought that bloody car,
And spun it off the road two winters later,
And died beside the wreck, lying in the snow.

They come out of the shop, their collars up
To keep out the cold, and they spit, and drop
Garbage in the slush, where once an angel played.

my most daring adventure of 24 yrs day -1/3 (this array goes -1,0,1,2,3)

read my previous 2 rants for context. tomorrow the journey is going to start. the organisers dont count that day (aka day 0 ) as its a bus travel night , but i would disagree since am sleeping away from home.
if i survive this i will probably add more comments on this thread about how i felt each day.

currently having the worst thoughts due to every constraint being a variable. have i packed enough? have i packed too much? will there be rain there? will there be sun ? will there be snow? am I prepared for the harsh weathers? its a mountain area and there have been heavy rain in my urban city, what if their is a cloud burst or landslide? am I prepared to run? am i prepared enough for the trek? will my cellphone die? what if my bus is captured by decoits in night? what if am travelling with kidnappers disguised as passengers/ organisers? will they cut my limbs or just ask for ransom? if they are not decoits, are they going to be lovey dovey couples interested in bursting condoms in mountains nd not helping a fella. WILL EVERYTHING GO OKAY? is this the last time am seeing my parents?

fuck fuck fucking fuckak fuck.

the only good thoughts am having is looking at the reels of organisers. theybhave smiling faces, beautiful mountains, people are dancing in buses and having fun in dormitories. can those be me? all i want is my mom to not get a heart attack from this trip.