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Search - "army"
Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.
As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.
You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.
You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.
You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.
In other words:
Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.
When I was in the army I wasn't officially a dev. But one commander needed someone to develop a bunch of stuff and couldn't get a dev officially, so I ended up as his "assistant", which was an awesome job with about 60% time spent on software development.
Except I wasn't an official developer, so I wasn't afforded many of the privileges developers get, like a slightly more powerful machine, a copy of Visual Studio, or an internet connection. In this environment you couldn't even download files and transfer the to your computer without a long process, and I couldn't get development tools past that process anyway.
So I was stuck with whatever dev tools I had pre-installed with Windows. Thankfully, I had the brand new Windows XP, so I had the .Net framework installed, which comes with the command line compiler csc. I got to work with notepad and csc; my first order of business: write an editor that could open multiple files, and press F5 to compile and run my project.
Being a noob at the time, with almost no actual experience, and nobody supervising my work, I had a few brilliant ideas. For example, I one day realized I could map properties of an object to a field in a database table, and thus wrote a rudimentary OR/M. My database, I didn't mention, was Access, because that didn't need installation. I connected to it properly via ADO.NET, at least.
The most surprising thing though, in retrospect, is the stuff I wrote actually worked.15
I can’t count money as quick. I don’t know how to operate a cash register. I’m bad at following small tasks in the kitchen. Ex: girlfriend yells at me for putting unstrained yolk in recipe (after straining it).
I can’t lift heavy stuff. Out of breathe helping my mom move. My uncle told me, “if you can’t do that, how can you work?” Then he touts his son around proudly for being in the army. I felt like shit for years.
My cousins told me to get a job at McDonald’s to learn the value of a dollar. I spent all this time studying and hadn’t found a single job at the time (not that I was looking). I was living off financial aid and some income from an app that sold for a dollar on the App Store.
I would mess up if I worked there. It was depressing guys. These people who worked at McDonald’s and Starbucks. It was like a cool club that I couldn’t be a part of! I wanted to be that smooth barista at Starbucks with a smug look on my face. Making coffee for all the ladies and writing hearts next to their name on the cup.
The responsibilities of going to work day after day and blowing your paycheck at a meal at Denny’s with your friends. Complaining about not getting enough hours and talking about adult stuff! Sigh sigh sigh. Oh and taxes! Let’s complain about taxes on a single W-2 just for the hell of it (not sure why they do this when you can file a simple 1040EZ) even though we get a refund.
After many paid internships (roughly 3), now I may be receiving an offer that is 100k+ with a 401k and all benefits I can imagine. Free food up the wazoo. Gym on site. Happy hour Friday’s.
I brag about taking a shit for an hour at work and coworkers don’t give a shit. Or taking a day off to do personal errands anytime.
Having my own place in a nice area (though the cost of living is enough to take care of 3 families in another state). Supporting my girlfriend through school and helping her with her dreams of art.
Going to fancy dinners and not worrying about the bill afterwards.
Accidentally damaging my 2017 Honda Accord and not giving a fuck because I can pay $900 for repair with less than a week of work.
But I can’t help but think that all this time..
I could’ve just quit and worked at McDonalds. I could’ve been one of the cool kids..6
I might not be able to move to Germany with my husband because I was born with one hand and the Army is apparently concerned it'll make me spontaneously drop dead, even though I've survived for (almost) 27 years like this.
This is why I like computers, they make more sense and don't say stupid things like that.21
Feeling blessed, left the army after 5 years, 3 deployments, to attend 3 years of computer science school and get a stable lifestyle.
I've got a supporting girlfriend, mentally never felt better, and for the next 3 years, this is my seat and view in class !
Happy coding all, and have a nice day✌️8
Sooooo me and the lead dev got placed in the wrong job classification at work.
Without sounding too mean, we are placed under the same descriptor and pay scale reserved for secretaries, janitors and the people that do maintenance at work(we work for a college as developers) whilst our cowormer who manages the cms got the correct classification.
The manager went apeshit because the guidelines state that:
Making software products
Administration of dbs
Server maintenance and troubleshooting
And a lot of shit is covered on the exemption list and it is things that we do by a wide fucking margin. The classification would technically prohibit us from developing software and the whole it dptmnt went apeshit over it since he(lead developer) refuses (rightfully so) to touch anything and do basically nothing other than generate reports.
Its a fun situation. While we both got a substantial raise in salary(go figure) we also got demoted at the same time.
There is a department in IT which deals with the databases for other major applications, their title is "programmers" yet for some reason me and the lead end up writing all the sql code that they ever need. They make waaaaay more money than me and the lead do, even in the correct classification.
Resolution: manager is working with the head of the department to correct this blasphemy WHILE asking for a higher pay than even the "programmers"
I love this woman. She has balls man. When the president of the school paraded around the office asking for an update on a high priority app she said that I am being gracious enough to work on it even though i am not supposed to. The fucking prick asked if i could speed it up to where she said that most of my work I do it on my off time, which by law is now something that I cannot do for the school and that she does not expect any of her devs to do jack shit unless shit gets fixed quick. With the correct pay.
Naturally, the president did not like such predicament and thus urged the HR department(which is globally hated now since they fucked up everyone's classification) to fix it.
Dunno if I will get above the pay that she requested. But seeing that royal ammount of LADY BALLS really means something to me. Which is why i would not trade that woman for a job at any of my dream workplaces.
Meanwhile, the level of stress placed my 12 years of service diabetic lead dev at the hospital. Fuck the hr department for real, fuck the vps of the school that fucked this up royally and fuck people in this city in general. I really care for my team, and the lead dev is one of my best friends and a good developer, this shit will not fucking go unnoticed and the HR department is now in low priority level for the software that we build for them
Still. I am amazed to have a manager that actually looks out for us instead of putting a nice face for the pricks that screwed us over.
I have been working since I was 16, went through the Army, am 27 now and it is the first time that I have seen such manager.
She can't read this, but she knows how much I appreciate her.3
Laravel is the worst framework ever.
Everything has to be made convenient and easy. That sounds amazing, because developers want to save time, worry less about boilerplate code, right? No more constructors, no more dependency injection, fuck all the tedious OOP shit... RIGHT?
It does one thing well: Make PHP syntax uniform and concise through easily integrated libraries such as Collection and Carbon. But those are actually not really part of the framework... just commonly integrated and associated with Laravel.
The framework itself is completely derailed: You can define code in a callback in the routes file. You can define a controller in the routes file. You can define middleware as a parameter to the route, as a fluent method to the route, you can stack them up in a service provider. Validators can be made in controllers, Request objects, service providers, etc. You can send mail inline, through Mailable objects, through Notification objects, etc.
Everything is macroable, injectable, and definable in a million different places. Ultimate freedom!
Guess what happens when you give 50 developers of various seniority a swiss army knife?
One hammers in a screw with a nail file, the other clips the head from the screw using scissors, and you end up with an unworkable mess and blunt tools.
And don't get me started about Eloquent, the Active Record ORM. It's cute for the simple blog/article/author/comment queries, but starts choking when you want more selective and performant queries or more complex aggregates, and provides such an opaque apple-esque interface which lets people think everything is OK, when in reality it's forcing the SQL server to slowly commit suicide.42
My very first rant. I will try to make it count!
Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.
All ok I guess. And then...
We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.
Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.
Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).
So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.
And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.
How did this guy even get to a position of this level?9
When you are a CS major/part time developer and your uncle gives you a swiss army knife as a present "so if you have to fix computers you have the screwdriver ready"3
I have the urge to fucking smash all of the mosquitoes on the whole universe.
I tried to sleep many times after killing 2 of them. But there are still more of them. Anyways, "since I am fully awake, let us do some research" I thought lol.
-In the research I found that only the female mosquitoes are the ones who are annoying us.
The male mosquitoes dislike drinking blood and eat nectar instead.
And not only that...
-There are approximately 3.5k types of mosquitoes and only a few hundred of these are the bad guys, even if they look all the same.
-Human-biting mosquitoes fly at heights of less than 25 feet in general.
-Mosquitoes are hunting us, because of a specific substance. Carbon dioxide. Every time we exhale CO2, we kind of create a path for the mosquitoes to find us :). They think about it like this:
>there is probably going to be a meal
>let us fucking get it
-Female mosquitoes flap their Wings slower than male mosquitoes thus it makes it easier for male mosquitoes to detect female mosquitoes.
-Male mosq. do not touch female mosq., when they are resting, but once a female starts buzzing the male recognizes that pattern, flies to her and starts making love.
- A scientist who was working for the US Army found out that the male mosq. will even try to mate with recordings of female mosquitoes' sounds.
-They can not fly until the 10th floor as someone has observed it.
-But then again they have been found breeding up to 8k feet in the Himalayas.
-They live in the water and barely come to the surface for food and o2.
Ps: While I was writing this rant, another 2 mosquitoes bit me and I fucking killed them.34
At Uni, I went from being the only programmer, to the programmer, designer, scene builder, main script writer, minigame designer, project manager, music composer, UI designer and fucking everything else.
We had a team of 4 people. The artist was great and dedicated, the production person was motivated, but lacked any technical skills and my useless fuckwit of a friend wrote literally 3, 2 note midi sound effects in 6 fucking weeks.
Thank fucking god the coordinator and a mate of mine who we got to do the animations, saw the amount I had carried and both led me to getting 2 jobs in the industry right after graduating.4
I think I may start my very own indie game dev studio... For now as a one man army... That’ll be fun.
I guess wish me luck guys!
I mean, what could possibly go wrong?11
Yeah, if my so called "friends" can just stop making me feel guilty for staying in with my son instead of going out having beers in pretentious clubs, with music blasting at a billion decibels that we can't even have a decent conversation.
If you could just stop; that would be great.
I'm sorry I have to work. I'm sorry I can't leave my 6 year old alone in the house on a school night. I'm sorry I don't have an army of maids to look after him. I'm sorry I don't have personal drivers to take him to school. I'm sorry if your family or your wife's family is so fucking rich you're basically a kept man and now bored out of your wits.
Please, just fuck off with this toxic behavior. We are not in our 20s anymore.
Do you guys have "principles", like a moral law you won't ever break ? Such as never working for a start-up, a specific CMS, etc?
I'm deeply anti-military for personal / historical reasons (plus you'll get hard time to find a dude that is less patriot than me), and yesterday my company announced that they won the call for tender that have been made by the french defense ministry, this is the biggest contract my company got, and obviously they take it seriously.
So it means that in about two weeks, we'll start a new project and work with the army to understand their needs and stuff. And I can't leave because I haven't finished my studies yet...
I feel like I'm betraying myself...19
What if the long term goal of @trogus and @dfox is to create a developer army, hell bent on the destruction of project managers and clients everywhere (except the cool ones).
I mean I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just wanted to... You know.... Raise some attention.3
An un-rant on Universities. (UC Irvine)
A lot of my friends and I are about to graduate 👨🎓 from UCI, with Computer Science degrees.
Most of them are complaining that they don't know any current frameworks, and all that we learned is outdated.
And that pretty much any bootcamper knows more tools that any of us do.
I totally disagree. I don't think it's the university's job to teach you tools (node, tencerflow, ...), rather, I think they made us into programming Swiss Army knifes. I can pick up any framework (I wanna be a web dev) real easy, and when shit breaks down, I can easily figure out the issue.
I think that's the major difference between Computer Scientists and Bootcampers/Programmers. We know "why", while they know "how".
What do you think? Is the current price of a CS degree worth it?22
Quick update on Brazil distribution strike
We are out of gas.
Government might call the army.
We might run out of water by Tuesday.
We are too much dependant on fossil fuels... Wtf?
First junior software dev job, asked what I wanted for hourly pay, replied “I need at least $13/hour to survive.” (This is in US, 2007, I was almost done with Bachelor in CS, single mom with two little kids, was also in the army national guard at the time)
I grew up poor, and was very ignorant about salary negotiations. So of course they offered $13/hour. I accepted, thinking it must be fair, and was glad to be making more than minimum wage. Six months in, I’m doing the same work as their devs with 2-4 years experience, find out they are billing clients $100/hour for my work. Then, to top it off, the COO makes a joke in a meeting about how it’s not a big deal for their “technical assistant” to be doing lackey work because he’s only paid $13. Fuuuuuuuuck. That comment still makes my blood boil.
I had a nice manager at the time that explained how salary negotiations worked, but I still think it’s lame as hell. I ended up getting put on salary, $50k/year, after threatening to leave.7
Programming Languages are Like Cars:
Assembler: A formula I race car. Very fast but difficult to drive and maintain.
FORTRAN II: A Model T Ford. Once it was the king of the road.
FORTRAN IV: A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77: a six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and no seat belts.
COBOL: A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly but it does the work.
BASIC: A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched upholstery. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive. You'll ditch it as soon as you can afford a new one.
PL/I: A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield.
C++: A black Firebird, the all macho car. Comes with optional seatbelt (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to assembler).
ALGOL 60: An Austin Mini. Boy that's a small car.
ALGOL 68: An Aston Martin. An impressive car but not just anyone can drive it.
Pascal: A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once popular with intellectual types.
liSP: An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not available.
PROLOG/LUCID: Prototype concept cars.
FORTH: A go-cart.
LOGO: A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real engine and a working horn.
APL: A double-decker bus. It takes rows and columns of passengers to the same place all at the same time but it drives only in reverse and is instrumented in Greek.
Ada: An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering, power brakes, and automatic transmission are standard. No other colors or options are available. If it's good enough for generals, it's good enough for you.
Java: All-terrain very slow vehicle.11
The deadline is tomorrow and we should work for extra hours to make it through! Oh look, a video about roman army structure!2
Certificate: * expired yesterday *
Chrome: 🚨🚨🚨 THIS WEBSITE MIGHT TRY TO ROB YOU AND TAKE YOUR FAMILY HOSTAGE CALL THE ARMY IMMEDIATELY AND WAIT FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS 🚨🚨🚨
Ofcourse it's sorta justified, but still, it's funny to see what the consequences are of forgetting to reload the nginx server after a certificate renewal 😂2
My last to last companies boss.
He was kernal in INDIAN ARMY.
Once customer call me now start using bad words ,I try to stop my self and trying to be a professional person but he was asshole.
So I start using bad words.
Immediately cut his internet connection and cctv connection everything which was in my hand?
I told him to come office.
He was 45 year person ,I was 19 year boy ,he bring some friends to beat me.
My boss got this news ,he immediately come to office n locked my cabin.
Stand infront of them.
N hold customers collars.
Told him that I don't know your background but I was kernal ,I believe in my employ ,he will never crossed his limit until you crossed your.
If you touch him out of office then I will show my power.
Before that he not even asked me any question.15
I went on vacation in Norway. And it's mandatory to visit viking ship museum if you are in Oslo. At the of the exhibition I came to souvenir shop. AND WHAT I SAW WAS MAGNIFICENT!
There was whole army of ruber duck vikings.
I thought of buying one but I didn't have a heart to replace my police officer McDucky.1
Microsoft: When you are a huge company with nearly limitless resources, a whole AI and ML army, yet you cannot filter uservoice feedbacks.3
I might actually quit. I'm within weeks (Army-stupidity pending) of working remote and not having to interact with my boss face to face, and I might quit.
2 week long call, everything I suggested was turned down/dismissed by him. Turns out, the second thing I suggested may have resolved the issue... After he decided he was going to take over the call.
While I was on the call, he ran the coffee maker, the kettle, banged his dishes around in the metal sink, and honestly tried to create as much noise as humanly possible, as he does for all my calls. I have multiple signs up requesting people be considerate.
He works for a different company, so I can't call HR, and I'm at the end of my patience.3
Every single fucking time I run into problems, the problems are very specific edge cases of common problems.
The search results however, are created by an army of retards, they're a sea of answers to the common problem. They drown out my super specific edge case.
And then someone dares to half-read my stackoverflow question, and immediately mark it as duplicate.
Not dev related.
I have only traveled to the places the Army send me to.
I didn't wanted to go to those places.
But there are a group of countries I have been dreaming of visiting them since I was a child. One is Spain. I would kill to go to Spain and see many of the landmarks that exist in that gorgeous country.
The other, is France. And one landmark that I always wanted to see was the cathedral of Notre Dame. Now, the reports I have seen regarding this make me believe that it can be restored, since the central spire that was not saved had already been added during a restoration project some time ago. The entire wooden interior? Lost. Bell towers are good and a couple of other things as well. I have mad respect for French people, and know they will need to do whatever it takes to get this done, and French business magnates have already started pledging to rebuild.
What pains me is that it will not be the same, and I feel time coming down on me as the places I dream of visiting face the possibility of similar tragedies happening to them.
I guess I have to hurry up.6
Well I met my wife and decided my current profession wasn't going to give us the life I wanted for us. So since I did IT communications in the Army, I decided to look into that field, buy I knew I didn't want to do networking; I hated it in the Army. I read about programming I saw that I could learn some for free online before I chose that as a career. I did the website courses on Codacademy and thought it was a lot of fun! So I enrolled in It's software program, got 1 quarter away from an AAS in software development, then while I was on my honeymoon, they shut all the schools down and filed bankruptcy. Now I've started all over and community college to eventually get a BA in computer science.5
that feeling when your new toys from aliexpress get delivered earlier than expected... i feel so happy unpacking those sensors, capacitors, heat sinks, microchips, breadboards and all. i feel like i have a geeky shopping addiction, i probably won't have the time to play with them from all the work and other personal projects, but still i hoarded enough electronics to invade the world with a drone army in case i have a few weeks me-time.5
Just had a great interview :)
The guy was really cool, asked actually relevant questions (my learning process, what I specialize in, etc), talked about the tech they'll be using and none of that "wHaT aRe YoUr WeAkNeSsEs?" bullshit.
He seemed to like me, he seemed to like the fact that I've been programming for a long time even though I'm in my second semester in college and he also seemed to like that I'm somewhat of a Swiss army knife, a jack of all trades but master of none.
I just I was a bit too informal in the interview but whatever. I'm not taking this very seriously, if I get the job I get the job, if I don't that's fine too.6
After 6 months of work in this startup I gave in my notice yesterday.
- Me: I decided to leave this position as well as this country because: 1. My side business is expanding and Im making the same salary like here, 2. My army drafting got postponed for this year and next year they cannot draft me anymore(because of the age gap), so basically I'm a free man and can go back to my own country, 3. I have some freelance gigs on the side as well, so having them plus fulltime job plus my own side businesses it's not sustainable.
- My project lead: What if we would increase your salary ?
-Me : No, as I said this is purely due to personal reasons
My project lead: What If we would hire another dev so that you wouldn't have to work alone on frontend?
Seriously do they ever listen??? I'm telling you that I'm making nearly twice the salary that you are paying me, do you really think an extra couple hundred of EUR a month will make a difference?5
Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.
As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.
It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.
For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.
I am so
I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.13
devops guy: "Shut up, Perl is awesome. It is the best Swiss Army knife language."
I agree. Let us observe the architect in our metaphor, in charge of building our new building, insists on doing it ALL with a Swiss Army knife.
Yes, I agree with your comparison very very much.
(translation... I want to use Docker, a temporary db, and continuous integration. He wants to continue writing and reading tons of shit to a mess of JSON text files all over the place.)2
Some fegit: "test you"
*fegit sends outbound Facebook link to some Paki website*
(why not a direct link you moron?)
Me (thinking): *what the fuck does this idiot want from me*
Me: "What makes you think that we want to prove ourselves to you by us doing your dirty work? We are not your personal army, so please fuck right off."
Fegit: "look out ya window"
Ehm yeah sure.. as if there's anything there. You'll need more than that to threaten me.
Me: "Anything to see there?"
Fucking piece of shit. Look out your window you say. Wanna give it a try? To someone who masters the art of wrangling the angry pixies? I don't need a gun to kill people, you know ^^
Oh well. At least it wasn't a "plz huk Phasebuk" question I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯5
I'm working this whole weekend to rewrite/move an old custom made shop extension to the new shop.
The amount of possible SQL injections is too damn high and this piece of shit the creator calls code is the most pitiable thing I have ever seen!
I don't how you can call yourself an experienced programmer if you create SQL queries by concatenating strings and variables in raw PHP, copying the same fucking includefiles to 10 different folders and use all of them in random places.
I'm not angry at all, I just want to castrate you with a blunt, fake swiss army knife so mankind is safe from you multiplying yourself.3
Having worked with all the major frontend frameworks. I can finally say that Vue is fking awesome!!! Way better than react and angular.
I hope the one man army continues. Evan You.2
I own my grandfather's Victorinox Swiss Army Knife, probably from the eighties. I absolutely love it — it's just like the standard Unix toolkit. Minimalist, multi-purpose, efficient. This is what I have in my knife:
1. Two blades. I call them master (yes) and slave
2. Corkscrew. I call it "ed".
3. Hole puncher, but not just any hole puncher. Mine has an angular sharp edge to carve holes instead of just punching them. Super efficient for wood, plastic and thick fabric. It also has a hole so it can be used as a needle. I call it "vi".
4. Bottle opener which is also a screwdriver. I call it "more".
5. Can opener. This is my favorite one.
It can help you open just about anything. Any type of cans, closed pistachio nuts, oysters, your barely legal girlfriend's virginity — anything. When I eat pistachios, I'm holding my Victorinox in my hand opening tough ones with the speed of rm -rf ripping through your files. Oh, and it's also another screwdriver. I call it "cat".
But let's take a look at modern Victorinox. Maybe it's better? No, not at all. It's totally metrosexual featuring nail files, nail clippers, nail scissors and a flash drive (not even a good one).
Newer doesn't always mean cooler.
(I have the exact same one, photo from the internet because I'm too lazy)20
The leaders of the Windows-army:
and last but not least...
TL;DR The prodigal son returns.
A long time ago my partner in crime left the company. So I was a "one man army", until management gave me 2 newbies to train. We'll call them X and Y.
X was new to the company, while Y was moved from a different area. During the time I was training them I realized which of the two had potential, or at least was paying attention.
Some more time passed and X was showing signs of being a good candidate to join the team. Y, on the other hand, well there were stories from his previous team. Not good.
Guess who was added to my team. It wouldn't be a rant if it was the capable one. Y was added to my team, while X was sent to a completely different area.
Time passed and I suffered many misfortunes. But this week, I saw him sitting next to my desk, X is back. I'll probably have to get him up to speed, but my little prodigy is back!
Oh I have quite a few.
#1 a BASH script automating ~70% of all our team's work back in my sysadmin days. It was like a Swiss army knife. You could even do `ScriptName INC_number fix` to fix a handful of types of issues automagically! Or `ScriptName server_name healthcheck` to run HW and SW healthchecks. Or things like `ScriptName server_name hw fix` to run HW diags, discover faulty parts, schedule a maintenance timeframe, raise a change request to the appropriate DC and inform service owners by automatically chasing them for CHNG approvals. Not to mention you could `ScriptName -l "serv1 serv2 serv3 ..." doSomething` and similar shit. I am VERY proud of this util. Employee liked it as well and got me awarded. Bought a nice set of Swarowski earrings for my wife with that award :)
#2 a JAVA sort-of-lib - a ModelMapper - able to map two data structures with a single util method call. Defining datamodels like https://github.com/netikras/... (note the @ModelTransform anno) and mapping them to my DTOs like https://github.com/netikras/... .
#3 a @RestTemplate annptation processor / code generator. Basically this dummy class https://github.com/netikras/... will be a template for a REST endpoint. My anno processor will read that class at compile-time and build: a producer (a Controller with all the mappings, correct data types, etc.) and a consumer (a class with the same methods as the template, except when called these methods will actually make the required data transformations and make a REST call to the producer and return the API response object to the caller) as a .jar library. Sort of a custom swagger, just a lil different :)
I had #2 and #3 opensourced but accidentally pushed my nexus password to gitlab. Ever since my utils are a private repo :/3
I get pretty much exclusively Army ads on Twitch lately. I like to think the reasoning behind this ad campaign is the Army thinks:
A) Everyone watching gaming videos has no career path because they're gaming losers, so this is a good place to recruit people who won't make it to college
B) Gamers are violent because they play video games and are therefore good fits for the army
C) Both A & B
And that's kinda funny to me13
ARM people, a posit, not mine, but interesting thought experiment:
If apple is successful at ARM, we may see in 5ish years the desktop/laptop market flip in an effort to chase. MS sees the custom silicon, creates an MS proprietary ARM to compete with Apple ARM. Now ARM is mostly locked down into these two options and nothing runs on both sets of silicon, or any other silicon. ARM becomes closed AF.
Slim possibility that Intel and AMD jump on the ARM bandwagon and ship their own silicon that's a little more open.
I dunno if you gents remember the Nickelodeon show known as Drake and Josh.
It was pretty big in Mexico and the U.S.
Well, one of the characters from that show is the singer/actor Drake Bell.
For a while, Drake Bell would **constantly** tweet about how much Justin Bieber sucks.
I aint denying that Justin Bieber sucks, i don't like his music at all.
But the constant attacks came out as jealousy, at least to me.
What does this has to do with development or even computers? Well this is EXACTLY how I feel about Louis Rossman CONSTANTLY making videos about apple products.
We get it man we really do, sadly for a lot of us the only way to get ios development done is through a fucking Mac
EVEN if his whiny ass is right about the hardware not being top notch and all that shit I AM still not able to explain a 2013(early...as in january) macbook pro still working with literally NO fucking problems. Before that the other macbook was just changed because we wanted the 2013 model. The thing worked, the one before did so too and the 2017 model that I have works, amazingly so i will add.
Still, the army of dell,hp and lenovo laptops that I've had before just died or are not functioning properly. Either it is my shit luck or Apple's "shitty hardware" got something really fucking right.
I think its retarded really. If you don't like them then fine, you don't have to, personally I fucking love all computers and os, but I don't get fanboys hating for the sake of hate.
the fuck you care if I spend 2500 on a computer? I would the same shit for your mom and the computer would last me longer.
Does owning multiple macs make me better than you? No
Does this mean that you are piss poor and can't afford shit and that is why you are hating? No
Will I call you <insert number of insults> gor your choice of pc or os? No
What is retarded is this: you all are DEVELOPERS(at least a good chunk) and your ass better fucking know that some people USE a certain tool because IT IS THE RIGHT ONE FOR THE JOB.
It is a damn fine operating system, a really good computing experience. It ain't your taste? Fine, das cool, but for fucks sake it does not mean that the other people are idiots or whatever.
Grow the fuck up and get yourself an opinion.20
It was funny. But when I told the head of my dptmnt that I was getting bored at work they kinda freaked out. I really love my workplace. The people are nice everywhere and this is something I am not used to.
I started working when I was 13 at one of my dad's business. It was a lot of manual labor and every day my hands would be bruised because of all the cleaning and shit I had to do. Then he moved me to another one of his businesses and it was worse but I continued doing it for only 1 year. By 16 I had moved to simpler things, I was a waiter and even tho I hated it I was making enough money to go out on dates and buy whatever a 16 year old wanted. I continued being a waiter until I was 17(changed to two other places) and before I turned 18 I joined the U.S Army. That broke my body in ways that I would normally not believe a 18 year old capable of. It was around the time that I discovered programming but even after I left the military(at 22 I believe) I never worked on a programming job. Back at home I worked in retail. And believe you me....it is far more pleasant to be constantly getting blown up and broken than dealing with the most retarded people imaginable(this is what made me hate Mexican people even tho I am Mexican myself)
Fast forward at 23 and I landed my first programming jobs. As stated in other initial rant it was surrounded by assholes. Assholes everywhere that would cower at the idea of speaking to me face to face due to the possibility of being left as physically broken as I am.
But at 27 now I found myself in a happy place. With nice people, good coworkers, an amazing manager that also serves as eye candy and good benefits. But the job is boring, boring beyond belief and this is due to the fact that they have a self taught and academically trained computer scientist doing the most menial things on a daily basis. The shit that I do would be more becoming of a designer, which has a different set of mental skills that would probably engage them more. But I really don't want to work on the web unless I am doing something that actually takes some challenge, even tho I maintain Java and PHP web services, the shit is so boring that anyone would be able to finish the proceadures in hours on a day leaving one with nothing engaging to do. Sometimes I let shit get close to the deadline just to feel some sort of pressure that would keep me awake.
I just wanted to vent on how ceremoniously BORED i really am.
I want more shit to do. Can't really have much patience for the freelance shit since it doesn't make sense to hire me in exchange of having some indian dude doing it for a quarter of the price.4
Why do bosses have to be such absolute bellends?
I have depression and ptsd after my time in the Army, which I was open with my boss about when I started.
It is more or less under control, but over the last month or so I’ve been going through a bit of a bad patch, and had a telling off at work about being late and using my phone too much. I’ve been doing everything that has been asked of me, but I hold my hands up and admit that I shouldn’t be using my phone (I have trouble concentrating at the moment so have a tendency to switch between things a lot like Work, emails, phone, emails, work etc. While at home I’ll have the tv on my computer and my phone switching. Between the 3)
So after my telling off and I’d calmed down a bit I sent my boss an email apology, saying I was going through a rough patch but that it isn’t an excuse and I will try harder to stop it from affecting my work etc.
She comes back with an email about she’s done this for me and that for me but she needs to see some output and wants to own some issues and see them to completion.
Now, I admit my output has been down a bit but I’ve spent the last two weeks working on some custom software that’s full of spaghetti code so it also requires time for me to get my head around it to understand what’s going on, and the guy who wrote it and is the one who knows exactly what it is that needs to be done only works 3 days a week and is only in the office for two of those, so makes it a bit difficult.
Anyway, I assume that she for got I am the person running the project (I use running in its loosest possible terms) to migrate us from SourceSafe to GitLab and if she’d bothered to look she would have seen every single piece of work that I’d committed over the last 2/3 weeks.
Luckily for me I know have to re-write all of the work I did in the last 2/3 weeks in one night.
Also because I, quite correctly, got told off I know feel like an absolute cunt, I’m getting marri d in 3 weeks and now I seriously feel like saying fuck it all and leaving everything and moving away3
I had the oppertunity to join a non profit organization to help them automate stuff instead of serving the army. One of their core applications got rewritten like a year ago from a terrible and very old Symfony stack to Laravel / React.
The guys who were in charge for the rewrite didn't really adapt the mindset of either MVC for Laravel nor the component idea behind React. There are a few controllers in the backend, but they sometimes have functions defined which would clearly belong in a model or service class. They rarely defined relationships on models, instead they're joining the tables together for the same effect. The frontend rendering mostly happens in for loops over the returned array from the API instead of breaking things down into little components. This ends in components which have sometimes over 1000 lines with super-nested logic in it.
But I did find my favorite piece of code today in of the controllers. Some many questions ...6
Any other Screeps players here?
for the people running into a "Screeps is not defined":
Code how your harvesters should behave, how your soldiers should behave, how your builders should behave etc. etc.
So far, it is quite a fun game, tho my (Intel Nehalem based) laptop has issues handling it (thanks to a awfully slow GPU...) so it's difficult to play for me at the moment (I'm on holiday, my home PC is a LOT faster).
It costs about 15 euro on steam, and if you're into this stuff, it's well worth it.
Just make sure you finish the tutorial first... I didn't and I regretted it when I bought the game (it's a huge pain in the buttocks to get started if you don't understand the API and such).
Currently just playing on my own localhosted private server to discover how the game works and such, but will be setting up a public server later down the road to play with others.
Tho it would be nice if Screeps would allow for "team-based" gameplay as well so it'll be slightly harder for early players to bully the newer ones.2
Two of em.
The first one was making a project following mvc patterns for my last job in which the structure was so easy to follow that my buddy has been able to move allong with it and do more projects out of it. He had a hard time with web development and the boss would have him do it and learn on the job.
To this day that application remains as a "framework" of sorts.
It was made in an unholy comb of js for the front end and classic asp for the backend with restful endpoints and all that shit. I was drunk when I coded most of it.
The other one was during my time in the u.s army. I was a mechanic, a really shitty one mind you. But i knew how to read manuals. All and every task was accomplished to the point in which they had me basically rebuild a vehicle that was beyond salvation. Got it done in 2 months and command was so impressed they set me up as the brigade commander's personal driver and mechanic. I was also drunk for the most part, but then again so where the rest of my brothers.4
My first experience was in 1998. My grandfather had a computers and even tho he was hesitant to let me use them my mom convinced him saying that I may eventually turn into an engineer like him. I used them mostly for paint and a couple of space shooter games he later got for me. It was great. They always had computers, they even had a c64 at one point and i remember playing with that one as well.
My first computer tho, it was in 2010 while I was in the Army. Still have that lil hp in my office although it does not work anymore.
Nothing speciall really. I've had computers all my life and a mother that was passionate about them. I owe everything I am to my mom. I think that it is because of her that I became a computer scientist.
My second monitor is about to die...
10 years on service for a plasma monitor.
This monitor is the last surviving piece of two of the most important moments of my life. I was dating the woman of my life which I let go away and was int he Army...
Past is past, still...
I don’t know why, but until now there’s been nothing to rant about (at least in my private life).
Crazy excited for ARM MacBooks though13
int rantLevel = 0;
Join the army! Create an infinite loop with your favorite language and comment it 🤔29
My mom was a data analyst in the Army when I was a kid. At around 10 I remember her teaching me batch scripting. Just seeing code and working with the machine was amazing to me and since then I've tried to learn all I could.
I spent a long time not doing this kind of work and finally in the last few years decided to follow that passion. So for me 20 years of my own private passion has turned into a skilled and profitable career I wasn't expecting.3
Going on a object orientated software development course today.
Ive done some, not alot, im mainly powershell fanatic since im automating alot as Server admin.
If the course is good/i enjoy developing like this, i leave the army and go for "development school" at summertime ! Super excited!!1
*Repost of my own accidentally deleted post*
A Short story that i made on an Android component
Once upon a time there used to be a ViewPager who was not able to load a Fragment UI.
All the ViewPagers in town can properly load the Fragrant UI but this one was little different.
He wanted to be more then just a ViewPager. He used to see an Activity that can load anything. He was inspired from the Activity and wanted to be like the Activity but his destiny made him just a ViewPager.
So he refused to cooperate. He started to protest silently, No log, nothing.
Everyone assumed this ViewPager have a bug in it. but he was planning something really big that will left everyone in shock and awe moment.
He was planning to rise against the evil 😈 developers who continuously making him to load Fragrant UI
He assembled the biggest army of the bugs that humanity ever seen to counter the developers.
He distributed these bugs in all over the developer's code to make them fire from their work.
Even he taught bugs to not caught in QA testing but appear in production randomly.
So they silently started going into production
And then chaos is erupted all around the world, bugs started to surface and interrupted the daily life of humanity.
In this chaos the ViewPager RAISED!
And took over all the base classes.
ViewPager was unaware of few facts. this unnecessary rise in his power made whole system unstable
Without the base classes the system finally collapsed and then ViewPager as well with the system.
This was the end of everything for the ViewPager but he was satisfied as he lived the life he always wanted
Just completed my first real project (3 days ago)!
It encrypts given password for your email and save to a file which can decrypted later!
It was my first proj so plz dnt start attacking like stackoverflow's duplicate army !
P.s i am noob so go easy on me if u are goin to suggest me some projects.5
We've got a small army of foreign contractors working with us both in the office and overseas. Syntax has become the thing that stands out to me the most. We can all speak the same language, but our partners don't quite have the syntax down, resulting in some rather amusing email exchanges. I can't fault them, if the shoe was on the other foot, I guarantee I'd be butchering any other language's conversational syntax. Overall, the experience has been a bit of an eye opener for me.
The moment I knew I wanted to be a dev was very early in life, but I didn't realize it until I had gotten out of high school. My parents gave me my first computer when I was like 8 and it was my grandfather's old Windows 95 PC. I loved to play the Army Men game with the plastic figures like from Toy Story. I also tinkered around and found out how Word and some of the other programs worked. About two years later, I got his old Windows 98 PC. I continued to play around in Windows and discover some nuances of the operating system. My parents had a Windows XP machine at the time and they called me in every time they needed help. I got on their computer from time to time to use the Internet, where I discovered so many cool things. In junior high, we were forced to take a typing course where I honed my typing skills through playing games. I soon was able to easily complete all of the challenges. To understand my persona, you must know that I was bullied throughout elementary and high school. I was "the nerd" of our class and I wore that badge even with all of the negative energy that it came with. I received constant criticism, ridiculed for being intelligent (my paycheck isn't too funny now, is it losers?). I didn't care, though, my mission has and always will be to show them their wrong doing. I actually can't wait to have a reunion just to see how UNSUCCESSFUL they are. My parents didn't like my interest in gaming and technology either, but that's a rant for another day. After junior high, I wasn't exposed to much else until I got to college four years ago, where I took Fundamentals Of Computing. My professor was a true nerd (major Zelda fanatic), and he taught us how to program in Python. I began to love being able to create something literally out of nothing. He opened my eyes to a world where there was order and I could have control in a world where I've never had any control in before. Since then, I've only began to love my profession more and more. This is truly what I was born to do.
It was the worst local Hackathon. It's not even a Hackathon either, where the whole event spanned over 2 months.
It was a group entry with me and 4 teammates. Each of them did contribute:
Guy A: criticizes what is built and designed
Guy B: offered financial tips on how to make this thing feasible
Guy C: did UI but in graphics. No CSS file, just bits of graphical elements.
Guy D: family commitments
And then there's me, writing documentation, built the entire project, wiki, drove the project, prepared the presentation slides, tests the framework, unit tests, stuck with stupid problems like SSL, localhost, Google Maps Key and the likes.
And we didn't even win, let alone launch this thing, whatever it is, to anywhere. Never doing group projects again.
I'm flying solo for now
I used to think that nothing could load faster than the "Thing With 'S' Logo" on a 4 gigs machine. But then Nadella's army updated their "Thing With Blue Logo" to the "Thing With Orange Logo". Plus the extra features, integrated source control, extensions and more.14
I love working as one-man army in multiple projects. Just love.
I got sick, stayed in bed for a week and now, after getting back to work, everything went to shit. And there's no one but me to fix the whole mess.
So.. I had lots of jobs.
Since my 20s I picked mostly heavy work instead of intelectual work.
Went to the army, drove trucks, Cutted steel , worked a lot in were houses.
One of my jobs was cutting steel for the molding industry. I was replacing a guy who lost his finger in a saw.
Temp that was there for less then a year tought me so well in the first day, one year latter I was still working exactly has he tought me.
Best worker I ever saw, all movements were precise, exact measures to the mm, ways to do the work better and more precise...
Then proceeded to do shit, spent hours in the bathroom watching anime and playing on his phone.
Turns out he was already on his second year as a temp (wich is illegal in my country, can only do 1 year as a temp), and to make a contract the company wanted to pay even less then minimum wage.
Leaving me doing all the work.
So.. I broke my back, stopped working and as a thanks (I was still a temp and was already at the end of my second year) they just finish my contract.
One year after, the guy I went to replace got fired because couldn't do the work as me or my pro college.
My pro college got a better job.
Now I usually work in the molding industry and many of the companies I used to cut steel to changed suppliers because they started to have problems with that one. Like blocks of steel smaller that what they needed....
To bad this guy wasn't in a manager position... His the kind of guy professionals want as a boss
"I make all my decisions on intuition. But then, I must know why I made that decision. I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect." - Ingmar Bergman5
Note: In this rant I will ask for advices, and confess some sins. I will tell my personal story- it will be long.
So basically it has been almost 2 years since I first entered the world of software development. It has been the biggest and most important quest of my life so far, but yet I feel like I missed a lot of my objectives, and lots of stuff did not go the way I wanted them to be, and it makes feel frustrated and it lowered my self esteem greatly. I feel confused and a bit depressed, and don't know what to do.
I'll start: I'm 23 years old. 2 years ago I was still a soldier(where I live there is a forced conscription law) in a sysadmin/security role. I grew tired of the ops world and got drawn more and more into programming. A tremendous passion became to burn in me, as I began to write small programs in Python and shell scripts. I wanted to level up more seriously so I started reading programming books and got myself into a 10 month Java course.
In the meanwhile I got released from army duty and got a job as a security sysadmin at a large local telco company. Job was boring and unchallenging but it payed well. I had worked there for 1 year and at the same time learned more and more stuff from 2 best friends who have been freelance developers for years. I have learned how to build full-stack mobile apps and some webdev, mainly Android and Node.js. However because I was very inexperienced and lacked discipline, all of my side projects failed horribly, and all attempts to work with my experienced friends have failed too- I feel they lost a lot of trust for me(they don't say it, but I feel it, maybe I'm wrong).
I began to realise I had to leave this job and seek a developer job in order to get better, and my wish came true 6 months ago when I finally got accepted into a startup as a fullstack webdev, for a bit lower wage but I felt it was worth it. I was overjoyed.
But now my old problems did not end, they just changed. My new job is a thousand times harder and more intensive than the old one. I feel like it sucks all the energy and motivation that was still left in me, and I have learned almost nothing in my free time, returning home exhausted. My bosses are not impressed from my work despite me being pretty junior level, and I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle that keeps me from advancing my abilities. My developer friends I mentioned earlier have jobs like I do and still manage to develop very impressive side projects and even make a nice sum of money from them, while I can't even concetrate on stupid toy projects and learning.
I don't know why It is like this. I feel pathetic and ashamed of my developer sins and lack of discipline. During that time I also gained some weight that I'm trying t lose now... I know not all of it is my fault but it makes me feel like crap.
Sorry for the long story. I just feel I need to spill it out and hope to get some advices from you guys who may or may not have similar experiences. Thanks in advance for reading this.2
I've posted about this a little in the past but.. my situation is that I got hired by a company as a developer, it turns out it was a lead dev role and they some how believe that I'm a one man army that's gonna finish a really huge web application started by another dev that left the company (apparently out of frustration from what I'm gathering in code comments and other employees)
All of this needs to be done in four months. I have never written a web application from the ground up and have always been subordinant to more competent developers. The team I with speaks mostly French and I can't help but notice the ever increasing social, communication, and cultural divides, being ostracized by people that I need support from because they don't speak great English has been frustrating to say the least. People have taken a step back in other areas which has me concerned they might be wanting to axe me cause I'm not making enough progress. Helppppppp1
PM: "We would like our automated testing / continuous integration in AWS"
Me: *Army crawling towards Jenkins with my last dying breath*3
Starting to invite coders who lost their job for camping. Have cooked for large groups (120 people plus) before. And then, after days of eating and resting, my army can counter attack.... 😁 *mwahaha*
Ive been looking at starting a degree through the Open University for a while, but the prices of the courses are pretty steep (cheaper than a conventional uni) when I've got a kid on the way in a couple of months, and not wanting to take out loans etc.
The other half mentioned that some of her colleagues had paid for their uni courses with help from the Army (she is a paramedic).
I looked into it, and despite leaving the Army in 2014 I am still entitled to two claims 80% of a course upto £2000
That coupled with an unexpected bonus means I should be able to partially fund the first 2 years of the course.
I need to phone the OU to discuss how to apply etc, but I'm feeling pretty good.2
I think instead of being lazy today and sleeping in until 3, I'm gonna spend my Sunday morning early afternoon learning something new or building something short and sweet. Not sure what I wanna go after though! I started getting into openCV but I'm not good enough quite yet for it to be somewhat enjoyable. I am a swiss army knife so I work a lot of stuff but I'm open to anything.6
Depends on which desk we're talking about...
Office desk: an empty can, a tophat well as a demo and some Russian paracetamol I found from a pocket of my winter coat.
Home Office #1 desk: the keyboard for another computer, a plant, a bunch of magazines and newspapers belonging to someone else, a roll of kitchen paper, someone else's meds, a cup of cookies, another cup of small tomatoes, a Swiss army knife, a bike computer and a tablet.
Home Office #2 desk: wife's laptop, a bunch of chargers for a myriad of devices, a Kindle, some envelopes full of stickers, others with bills, a lot of random crap, and usually when I'm at the desk, one or two purring felines
_"...An army of open source evangelists regularly preaches the Gospel of Saint Linus in response to even the most vaguely related bit of news about other platforms."_
The accuracy of the quote4
Contracting some sports related web apps for the national army.. Couldn't have predicted this kind of projects / clients when started the business some years back. :)
- load tests via web
- load tests via api
- figure out why the fuck hibernate started proxying Blob.class after migration rather than using jdbc implementation, like before
- fix ^^
- reconfigure tomcat to ditch random for urandom completely [still getting econnreset]
- continue conversation with sysadmin, tester, analyst, 2 PMs, infra architect, junior dev
- provide immediate support for analyst and tester as soon as they need it
- provide support to another dev on another project
and that's my today's todo list. I think I need more personalities [more threads] to keep going
Sent products a list of everything wrong with their requirements and why it would take an army to build (there are only 2 of us backend ninjas). Suddenly its crickets. No-one is replying me now. Suckers..
I wish i have the power of controlling electronic stuff with my mind to rewrite their code with a single thought, just because it's fucking cool and i'll build my own army to conquer the entire world >;]
Solo developers of devRant (not freelancers, sorry)
How do you handle being the one-man-army for your company?
How do you stay sane with no one by your side to bounce ideas off of, and to talk through problems with?
My partner was let go almost 2 years ago, leaving just me to deal with everything, and I'm at my breaking point. What do you do to keep yourself together when everything is crashing down around you, and you alone...3
Really appreciated the first professor of front end developement. He was very helpful and his teaching always very detailed. Always looked forward to his class. Heard he is working for the army intelligence now. Definitely gonna buy him a beer if I see him again, I owe him that much.
Didn't had much experiences with recruiters, but there was one funny case.. One recruiter was trying contact me for couple of days. Emails, phone calls and sms, you name it.. I wasn't yet working as much back than, but the only reason that I've turned him down was, that he was my Officer in the army some years before and that shit seriously creeped me off...
Does anyone know where B, D language, Haskell, Scala, COBOL, Fortran and other unfamous languages are used? I know that Scala and Haskell are functional programming language but I don't know where it is useful and COBOL was used in US army but I never hear about them.3
"Google has the functionality of a really complicated Swiss Army knife, but the home page is our way of approaching it closed. It’s simple, it’s elegant, you can slip it in your pocket, but it’s got the great doodad when you need it. A lot of our competitors are like a Swiss Army knife open – and that can be intimidating and occasionally harmful." - Marissa Mayer2
Salute to doctors to fighting to corona
Salute to army and police to maintaining security
Salute to IT to maintaining balance in economy!!4
Now to swell the ranks of my diabolical army and send it hence. I will stand astride this world! Humanity will kneel at Dio Brando’s feet!
When you ask for help, and they tell you you are on your own with this one bud. No wonder I hate my job some days, the fact that the project is due at 4, it's 2:30, and I still need help because I'm lost and am said one man army of IT. Nah, your on your own with this one. FML
Now make a new project in Django... Ok some file autogenerated and now I'll start.
Now make a new project in Ruby on Rails... Ok autogenerated a fucking army of file?!?!? Why??? It's overwhelming!!! Where can I start???