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*Client calles me at 7Am*
Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?
Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?
Client: yah, so ?
Me: click on it and set it back to default.
Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet
Me: ...
Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.
Me: you're welcome...17 -
I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.
My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.
He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.
He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.
I asked: my code?
He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.
Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?
Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".
Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.
Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...7 -
Had this recently with a client, mysql server of one of our shared hosting servers went down:
Senior engineer 1: heads up guys, mysql of {server name} is down, working on it! *calls second engineer in*
Support people: thanks for letting know! (in case clients call about it)
*triiiingggg*
Me: good afternoon, how can I help you?
Client: this site which we manage for a shared customer says it can't connect to the database...
M: is it hosted on {server name of mysql problems}
C: yes.
M: there's a mysql disruption there right now, we're working on it!
C: *starts guilt tripping me about thy they chose us for stability reasons and now this happens*
M: sir, I can't change this situation so you can go on and on about that but it's not going to help anyone.
C: okay, so what can I tell my client?
M: you can tell that we have a mysql server disruption right now and are working to fix it as soon as possible!
C: and what am I going to tell my client if they don't accept that answer?
M: you can tell that we are fixing this disruption as soon as possible.
C: yes you said that but what if they don't accept that answer, what am I going to tell them THEN?!
M: Listen, sir. We have a disruption right now. It's not fun but whether I tell this by writing it to you in a fairy tail or shout it at you, it's not going to make a difference.
We have a disruption and we are working on i....
*click*
Well, fuck you too.7 -
Some do it with coffee, some with tea, some in their house, some in a cafe, but I do it in a shawarma restaurant while eating a shawarma!
18 -
At first there was nothing...
Then the software engineer said "LET THERE BE A PROJECT"
and there was a project. And it was [good]
On the secondth day, he said " LET THERE BE GIT", and there was a empty git repo
his colleagues hate him because thy still live in 2001 and they use SVN. But it was {good}
On the thirdth day, he said, "LET THERE BE AUTOMATION" and build systems came, And it was </good>
On the fourth day, he said "LET THERE BE A FRAMEWORK" and a framework was born. Problem is, it didn't work in his machine , so he whined and StackOverflow. It's still ["g", "o", 0, "d"]
on the fifth day, he said " LET THERE BE FRONTEND", and the frontend was born, but his colleagues again, ranted for using Angular instead of React. It's still "good";
And on the sixth day, he said "LET IT BE SOLD TO A CUSTOMER" and it was, but the bloke was a cheapskate wanker and paid him only the half of the contract price. But it was still good.
And on the seventh day, he rested, but he didn't actually, because Developers never rest nor sleep. And it was good3 -
Work.overtimePay = (hours, normalRate) => {
// return hours * (rate * 2)
return "you guys are brilliant!"
}10 -
Google: “Your websites must load the first byte in under 500ms and be fully loaded with no render blocking and local caching of all external site callouts to even begin to rank in Google searches.”
Me: “Ok, Google. Your wish is my command.”
*Looks at Chrome’s memory usage to load a blank page*
8 -
Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
--------
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)
My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.
Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.
PS
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)22 -
Worst experience: had a verbal fight with pm because his poor management overworked me ( I was working on the same project till 10pm every day for 4 days with no OT pay)
Best experience: I stepped up against an abusive pm and told him to fuck off to his face.12 -
Made a web app at work.
Client reported the site crashed IE10 when it loaded.
I'm not even sad about it XD6 -
Dear senior developer with xx years of development experience, please, I BEG OF YOU hear my humble unprofessional opinion.
Not every junior is a inexperienced low life.
Even though I'm glad that I'm working with someone of your wide skill set and expertise, I'm not working with you by choice nor it is my intention to distract or "steal" your knowledge.
When I suggested using a newer version of jQuery for this new project that didn't mean I'm challenging you to work on something new for your domain, I'm merely suggesting this change because jQuery 1.2 is just old and a big portion of it is deprecated.
When I suggest some changes on your CSS selectors that doesn't mean I'm acting out of place, it is my genuine interest of having effecient css where possible.
I know you (in your opinion) are the best full stack developer in the industry, but maaaan you kill me when you use js and regex to validate input type=email (table filp) ... Haalllloooo it's 2017 this Sunday aren't we supposed to progress instead of remaining in the same old same ?
RANT!!!10 -
This tiny project is awesome. Thanks to @JoshBent (who partly got it from another repo as well) for providing a basic DNS server with hardcoded blacklisting functionality and thanks to @PerfectAsshole for correcting my mysql syntax I was stuck on for way too long.
I've now got this fucker to read blacklisted words from a redis list into an array which checks every requested domain to see if it matches. If yes, it proxies it through to another DNS server and if not, it'll log the requested domain to a mysql database and prints is as blocked onto the terminal.
If the domain matches any host from a service known to be integrated within a mass surveillance network, it also prints this out to thy terminal.
It's working yay! Gonna keep working on it today.13 -
Our working hours are from 9 to 6 which is the standard in Malaysia (I'm not malaysian )
Yesterday I came in around 10AM and my boss took me to his room as soon as I arrived.
Boss: If you were in school and you come late what do you expect to happen ?
Me: get punished, I'll compensate by working an extra hour today.
Boss: well our clients aren't available at your extra hour and I'm struggelling with a big client you're supposed to ship the rest of his site and golive today and he's freaking out
Me: yh well his site is done it just needs final QA before going live.
Boss: oh its done already?, cool cool. Anyway you shouldn't be late you're not Malaysian and being late doesn't run in your genes like them.
*ops manager (Malaysian) walks in*
*boss confused*
*ops manager looks him in the eye*
*boss looks at the ground*
* me giggling while walking to my desk*3 -
Pure evil and geniusness, this is a must read for JavaScript developers and security enthusiasts !
https://hackernoon.com/im-harvestin...
9 -
A previous co-worker (dev) bought a "foot mouse" he found on a Chinese website, then changed his keyboard's layout to match the "natural human cognitive ability" also bought a sleeping bag because he needed a "power nap" after lunch break he even asked our MD to buy him an ergonomic chair which would cost around 1200 USD ( of course our MD refused) then the worst of the worst, he had this habit of chewing his food loudly when he's eating something he likes.
One time our operations manager (she was pregnant XD) screamed at him from her desk " RAYAAAAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I CAN HEAR IT FROM HERE DAMN IT"
He literally spilled some of the food he was chewing on his desk and I burst out laughing like crazy.
On the same day our MD told us to follow a new "no food in office" policy 😂😂😂
Sad story is that when he left the company I had to revert his PC to how it was including resetting the keyboard layout to default, remember his "foot mouse" ? Well he had to modify the mouse settings so all directions were inverted.
The first thing I said when I turned on his laptop was
FUCK YOU RAYAN!!3 -
When you get fed up of using up and down keys to initiate commands, so you just create 2 extra command prompts and color code them so you know which one does what.
5 -
He’s making a database
He’s sorting it twice
SELECT * from contacts WHERE behaviour = ‘nice’
SQL clause is coming to town1 -
Have you ever felt that you're being overrated by your employer ?
For our front end projects we use Cloud9 IDE
Now the business have around 100k+ files.
So Cloud9 is becoming slower and slower with every new project created.
So I was tasked to build a code editor where a new instance of that code editor will be created per project ( so, the new editor doesn't need to handle a huge file tree), so I "git clone" ACE editor and add to it GoldenLayout.js , FancyTree.js and some other plugins.
Now they think I'm a genius, and I'm like ... Eh? Should I tell them.. ? Will it backfire later ?
I kinda like the feeling.
What's the best thing to do in this case?3 -
I'm disappointed with my boss.
I've always felt that the company I work for was different, I'm a web dev in a foreign country, finding a job as a fresh graduate wasn't easy at all.
before joining this company, all the employers I've met expected so many skills from foreigners like me, while they sat the bar so low for local fresh grad candidates.
Except my current boss, after the second interview he said that he believes in my potential and he wants to take this risk, the risk of hiring a foreign fresh graduate.
After I joined I worked my ass off and after 9 months I became a team lead.
And my boss said to me that the risk he took was completely worth it and I exceeded expectations.
Now I'm involved in assessing candidates applying for web development role at this company, we have 3 candidates 2 local and 1 foreigner.
Ironically the foreigner proved great potential and understanding of web technologies that exceeds a fresh entry role.
The other 2 local were alright, need training but they pass the criteria for an entry level role.
I reviewed this objectively and urged the same man that hired me to consider hiring the foriegner.
He said no, because of Visa costs and because of the lengthy legal process employers need to go through to hire a foreigner, and asked me to move forward with the 2 locals and not lose them to another company.
I felt that, if i were in the foriegner candidate's shoes I would've felt that there's something wrong with me for that no one wants to hire me for my skills and what I've worked hard to achieve was all not enough, it would make me feel like an outcast.
I know that I should do what I'm told, after all he's the employer, but still.. this feeling is bothering me, in a way I feel like I've cheated or I was just lucky and I didn't really earn this job.4 -
You don't need to crop that full resolution Shutterstock image, just use max width 100%
Image size: 7+mb3 -
God bless the Git, for the has done the forsaken and deleted a script many a era ago, and on this blessed day of days, he who is a dickhead needed such thy script to test functionality thy requires to be in the heavenly clouds to utilise....
Fuck I love git history to save me from having to write this thing again 🥰
Ps: IF YOU DON'T USE GIT, BE ASHAMED!7 -
Interveiwer: Do you like what you've learnt so far from your course in uni?
Me: sorry, but no the things they taught us were horrible and outdated and I only think of it as a legal requirement.
I'm working for his company for a year and a half now!5 -
Meeting with an investor who brought two tech advisors.
Advisor A: you should consider using php.
Me: why?
Advisor B: node.js is older.
Me: :|
You can argue about advantages/disadvantages, but how the fuck can you argue with a fucking timeline?!4 -
Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.
I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.
** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
C: perfect!
--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
Me: mh?
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.
-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project
** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **10 -
This rant is aimed towards those who hate on JavaScript developers and the JS language:
Dear Asshole,
I am a JavaScript developer by choice.
I think JavaScript is great.
I agree that JavaScript have some bad sides to it, but I believe that the community is driving good change to the ecosystem.
I appreciate other models of other languages.
I do not include 3rd party NPM modules without checking their source and credibility.
I will not use a framework (i.e. react, Vue, Anguler) if it's not needed.
And finally:
I can do any software engineering tasks a software engineer is supposed to do.
Kind regards,
Nedo-the-angry.20 -
!dev
Oh French adminstration and bureaucracy,
How I wish upon thee,
Sincere sodomy with a rusted rake,
Till the insides of thy posteriors break.7 -
Putting chatgpt to some good use. Writing a complaint mail to the idiots maintaining my banking app in the style of shakespare.
Hark thee, App Support Team,
With grave disquiet and vexation doth I write to thee concerning thy recent update of the application. As a software developer, the option to enable developer settings on mine own mobile device is of paramount importance for mine work. Yet thy latest update hath impeded mine access to mine own bank account until I disable this setting. Upon launching the app, it doth redirect me to a browser tab, where I am compelled to deactivate the developer setting to avail of thy services.
This conduct of thine is most unacceptable and unprofessional in mine eyes. It doth seem a transgression of privacy, for thy app doth dictate what settings I may or may not have on mine own personal phone. How canst thou deny me access to mine own bank account information merely on the grounds of having enabled developer options? How doth this option interfere with thy application, such that thou must needs coerce thy users to forsake their phone settings to utilize thy app?
I beseech thee to rectify this issue with all due haste, so that I may access mine own bank account without hindrance. If thou art incapable of doing so, then prithee, might thou recommend a more user-friendly banking application to which I may gladly switch?
With frustration and discontent at this time,
A locked-out person.
Backstory : So recently one of my banking app stopped working and forced me to update to their latest version. As soon as i opened the newer version , it shut down and redirected to my browser with a shitty html page with just one message : Disable developer options on your device to continue using our app. I was extremely frustated and couldnt understand what kind of idiots were maintaining this app.So i decided to write up an email hoping to find some solution for this.11 -
!rant
Do you ever find yourself proudly staring at your beautiful code, forgetting everything else and suddenly noticing you've been at it for far too long?3 -
Self rant!
Looked at a code snippet I wrote last year and I thought to myself: am I geting stupid for not understanding my own code ?
Tried to re build it from scratch...
Failed and had to reuse it without understanding how it's working.
I guess I am getting stupid!5 -
Trying to run a process on each CPU thread in our vps only to find that our vps has just one CPU and no multi threading. :/
We need an upgrade.1 -
This maybe not related.
Since the Dutch population is active in here, I have a question.
Today I was touring around Haarlem, it's a beautiful city but there's this green phone booths stack statue in the city, I loved everything i saw today about it, but still I don't understand why is e=mc2 written wrong "e=cm2" ?
11 -
A close friend of mine is in his third term in university studying software engineering, asked me how did I land my first job so quickly after graduation.
His question made me stop for few seconds and ask myself, how would my life would've been without Coursera , Udacity, codeacademy and css-tricks.
I literally spent 2 years wasting time in uni then I discovered these sites and started learning while studying just enough to pass subjects that really has no benefit for the future whatsoever.
Even with subjects like data structures and AI, which should be interesting, it was 40℅ theory and the practical part was to complement the theory part, it was never for real world examples.
Kinda feel bad for my friend because he'll end up feeling the same frustration I went through at university.
Even now a year after graduating I feel that the only benefit of my degree was legal.
When would this silly system change ? If university courses can be specialized like online courses wouldn't it bring better talent to the market? And why governments don't take action towards this?2 -
Rant!
When I'm in my "zone" working please for the love of god don't stand behind me staring at me and my screen, every time you do that you make me feel that my privacy is being raped and I can't do anything about it !!2 -
My employer thinks their Wordpress site is great because it's so easy to find a Wordpress "developer". That's like commissioning artwork patched together from colouring books because it's easy to find someone who can use crayons.
-
Never judge thy abilities only judge those who promised to compile those oldest svn build and failed horribly. By macfranci on twitter
1 -
“The ancient injunction to love thy neighbor as thyself is still the force that animates our faith—a faith that we are determined shall live and conquer in a world poisoned by hatred and ravaged by war.”
3 -
When configuring a digitalocean server and install shit loads of dependencies takes less time than npm install .....4
-
Manager told all of us to leave at 5 instead of 6:30 because of Christmas.
Then he told us to work from home this Friday and take Monday off cuz Christmas is on a Sunday.4 -
After almost 6 years of emotionless journey with a single focus towards my career, I have a crush on somebody.
Now I'm confused AF 😕5 -
Quick rant!!
Deadline in 2 days, working with a team.
Me: yo ! , How's the xyz feature? Is it working now?
Teammate: yah, made it work yesterday.
Me: epic! Can you present it to me?
Teammate: wtf, it's not working today!!
Me: no worries, you can sort it out!
Teammate: the latest release you worked on doesn't work properly.
Me: yah, merged code fucked up, I'm fixing that, I'll push a fix today.
And the cycle continues... -
Im getting tired of this fucking scrum team.
First of all let me introduce our backend team which takes 3 weeks to add one fucking column to database and in the end turns out they fucked up RabbitMQ RPC implementation so the column is not syncing with our app at all so now we have to wait 2 extra weeks until that will be working. Best part is that backend fucker who fucked up doesnt even feel like hes blocking a feature and would rather sit for extra few days and do nothing until he gets reassigned his pile of shit back to him than clean up his own shit.
Then we have business analytic who doesnt know how to define tasks properly so I have to record each grooming meeting so I would know what to fucking implement because he doesnt even bother to take proper notes. Which results in not fully defined tasks, which results in unexpected behaviours and MR's stuck in limbo for weeks.
Also lets not forget QA guy who doesnt even bother writing scenarios, I as an app dev have to write them myself just to be sure that fucker will test everything thoroughly.
Then we have fucking devs from consultancy agency who apparently have 6 years of experience (I have barely 2) and these fuckers are spamming me daily with the most basic questions. After each grooming they rush to assign themselves tasks which are not even defined properly yet and not even in this sprint, but fuckers are lazy so thy want to reserve easier tasks for themselves. Pathetic.
At least I have a decent senior on my team, but sometimes he patronizes me so much that I start asking me what I am doing in this team.
Fuck this shit, I asked for a 43% raise and if Im not getting it in 2-3 weeks im outta here. Fuckers.5 -
I'm a front end developer who knows Ruby on rails and Node Js, I still call myself a freaking FRONT END DEVELOPER because I don't have enough knowledge of the required concepts to trust my skill in a complex backend project.
How the fuck there are so many full stack developers who lack shit tons of knowledge in both specialties! And worst of those are asp.net "FULLSTACK DEVS" that can't write JavaScript without copying and pasting from SO and don't know that display flex is a thing!14 -
Debugging yor server code for over an hour only to find out that you were using "var/.." instead of "/var/.." 😐😐1
-
rant!
As a web dev i really hate half assed solutions
Especially when I'm forced to spend time making them because some stupid sales person sold certain features that our current product doesn't support.
At the end of the day that sales guy gets a commission and I build something that will inevitably break somewhere in the future.1 -
Build an app that would tell you about all the news that mainstream media doesn't want to cover, like what's happening in parts of Africa, the enslaved workers in the far East and the situation of the Syrian and Iraqi lands under siege.
Then follows it with a cute baby/puppy/kitten video so you don't end up looking at the "empty half of the cup"1 -
I was tasked by a client to build a blogging / News website.
Client's first request: remove any reference of a publish date from the blogs, it ages our content.4 -
My stack overflow experience in a nutshell "Sorry, we are no longer accepting questions from this account"2
-
Mary Christmas to all of you and remember not to connect to production when you’re drunk.
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen -
"Hey {name}",
I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.
Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for
I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office
I am so frustrated with companies like these -
Rant!
A colleague bought a mechanical keyboard to the office today.
Pro: if you miss a deadline you can blame that colleague.
Con: schizophrenia.7 -
Programming commandment: Thou shall blame all bad code on thy comrade who has bequeathed your company!2
-
Companies like this one do love exportation. What junior+ developer would switch jobs to an intern that is unpaid?
Not even students (Or graduates) can apply to this position.
15 -
A client asked me to include a GA tracking code into her website,
I said yea I'll add it for you, just send me the code snippet please :)
she sent me the URL to google analytics login page....
I told her that I need the code snippet not the URL.
She replied: yah that's what I sent.
Me:...2 -
DevRant should have a sort by random I am tired of reloading and get basically the same thing but in different orders2
-
Question?
Did you or anyone you know take a nano degree from Udacity? Is it worth the money ? Do companies or academic bodies recognize it?
Some of their nanodegree courses look very interesting!!17 -
ME: ok its time to create a game let's see... i will do a 2d pixel art game and... it will be medieval type of game... ok lets start by creating a character design.
*30 minutes later*
Me: I quite!!!4 -
I have met a game developer today who genuinely browse the internet using MS Edge by choice.
His reason: sine I was little I loved Microsoft, I accept the fact that some websites don't show properly on Microsoft's browser, by using their browser I keep reminding myself that loyalty to what I love is more important than practicality.
My response to him: bbut... As long as you're happy!
As a web developer I feel that myself and other web devs have the responsibility to kick Microsoft in the butt to make their browser good enough for loyal people like that guy!14 -
I'm just trying to get my boss on the phone and his secretary tells me he is in a seminar but I walk by his office and he is eating a MF DONUT
1 -
Windows: restarting in 10 seconds
Me: probably just a bug or something like that *click OK button*
10 seconds later
Me: it's no a bug! IT'S NOT A BUG! let me save my stuff
(I don't now why windows did that it made some kind of update without warning except for the 10 seconds and then I had some problem s like I couldn't connect to a SQL server and the computer was super slow)6 -
Took a job at a bank for the money. The job is super boring. So much bureaucracy. I don't know what I am doing here...9
-
Smashing on the keyboard
with 3 screens infront of my face
i spot a nasty bug,
In one of the features someone else made,
I called their office for aid,
But found no one is there to be
Of any aid to my sorry ass,
Now i have to debug the whole thing,
Oh,
Documenting code
Documenting code
Why didnt you document the damn thing
At least tell me you left some comments
To help debug thy algo tree
Oh ...
:'(
1 -
I f&#king hate it here. I am just eyeing to exit as soon as 1 year of my contractual obligation is over. My employer is a good employer. Provides good benefits but I just can't take the bureaucrazy in here. Just yesterday, had to ask another team to deploy objects on our behalf as they are the schema owner. They did it and asked us to review it today. But how? We don't even have manual access to the schema, because we are not the content owner and security! But that's fine, I can always query the catalog views and check the metadata and should be able to conclude the deployment. Right? NOOOO. Because security! Of what? Column names?
Prev rant: https://devrant.com/rants/5145722/...2 -
!rant
I have been lurking around here for about a month. Finally decided to write about how devRant motivates me. Whenever I read stuff I don't understand it makes me realize I've got so much more to learn. Happy new year :)1 -
I just found this in my "Religious views" info on FB, thought I would share it even tho it's just a paste from somewhere. Don't slaughter me if this is a reoccuring thing on here😂
THE 0x17'RD PSALM
The Computer is my taskmaster; I need not think.
He maketh me to write flawless reports
He leadeth me with Computer-Aided Instruction
He restoreth my jumbled files
He guideth me through the program with menus.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the endless GOTO,
I will fear no error messages;
For thy User's Manual is with me.
Thy disk drive and thy Pac-Man-they comfort me.
Thou displayest a spreadsheet program before me
in the presence of my supervisor.
Thou enableth the printout;
the floor runneth over (with paper).
Surely good jobs and good pay shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I shall access your CPUs, forever.1 -
When you're trying to solve a problem and you're spinning your head around then you check your phone and see the co-founder of a service you love just liked your rant.
You feel like: awee!! thank you 😍
Then you get back to work with some good portion of dopamine in your head to support you
Thanks again for this service 🙏
1 -
Urgent!
When down voting needs to be add a non dev related and add to the setting a option to hide all rants voted non dev related.
Basacly like repost but it says non dev related5 -
Would you rather get a sticker for free or help DevRant and buying in there store?
Personally I would rather help18 -
So I was recently getting fed up of having to open so many command prompt to do individual things
Only now till I have found out about a program called "Hyper" which is essentially CMD with a tabs and a fresh GUI look
Also supports Linux 😄
https://hyper.is11 -
Lord. Please deliver us from the cycle of unfinished programming languages and code benches that are designed to create more work for us. We beseech thee in thy mercy to transmute all this asynchronous lead that is found in javascript into a purer form of threading that is sensible and can be willfully blocked or not so in a way that works and does not divide us through our ugly code. May also we be given the ability to purge from our midst all child molesters and string them up by barbed wire off a line of telephone poles across the entire continental usa and may there be a sudden increase in the number of ravens and buzzards to feed on them, being nice birdies that I miss seeing so much. May half their positively identified population be kept alive and delivered unto us that we might remove their scrotum with a hook-ed barb and something resembling a serrated metallic spork, amen.
and please fix fucking node js. i agree that its asynchronous methods suck ass for literally everything as there is no use for it that seems to work given its a shitty emulated single thread.2 -
Getting really annoying how I think of the perfect solution on a project after leaving the office.
Now I need to wait 15 hours to implement it 😭😭7 -
Python drives me nuts. Can we just have 1 environment to run python. Virtual environment or conda environment. Hard to switch from notebooks to ide's because you need to reinstall the packages for that environment3
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Who else hates when they get a new connection on linkedin ans thy start promoting their buisness by sending message2
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Just passed 2 to 3 hours learning how to model a chair when I was almost at the end my pc shutdown randomly, I lost everything... Thank you life.3
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From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"
I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.1 -
!Rant
Dear fellow front end developer, why?, just why would you use "!important" on every property value inside your @media query?2 -
Rant
I was given a project to lead and develop with 2 other team members by the co-founder, I was told that I will need to deliver an initial demo within 30 days, 20 days in the project and I was told yesterday that they need a final release ready within the next 10 days !! Not just that but the co founder decided to assign one of my team members to another project!!!
I've worked today till 4am.
Guess who's working from home in the morning!6 -
I kinda stumbled upon a feature of haproxy I wasn't aware of....
http://haproxy.org/bugs/...
They have a html page per version allowing one to easily identify current vs last version and it's bugs.
It was by accident that I found it via haproxy --version.
Whoever did that - praised be thy name.
If it was always this easy.... It would make my life so much more joyful.
Finding release notes and "reliable" version changes is a pain in the ass.
I think this simple stupid html page is giving me a major boner of happiness. 😆😆😆 -
Ugh....why did I think it was a bright idea to name variables in a certain way. Looking at it now made me spend 3 hours trying to understand what it means, and now i have a headache from it.4
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I need help!
This is gonna be a long question/story.
I'm a Syrian based in Malaysia working as a lead web dev in a good company.
I have a friend in trouble and I want to help him.
Here's a summary:
My friend is a project manager at a gaming studio he happens to be an Iranian atheist with around 2 years of experience in the game making industry.
He worked on and delivered a couple AAA games at his current place of employment as a project manager in one of the teams that made those games.
He stood up for his team when the management was overworking team till after midnight sometimes and forcing them to work on weekends without any tangible compensations ( basically they gave them things like free lunches, movie tickets, etc).
The result of his standing up to his team was the management handing him a notice telling him that he'll be fired within 2 months due to "underperforming".
This was a month and a half ago.
He looked around in Malaysia for a job that can get him a working visa, but his niche background couldn't help.
After his termination in few weeks he can extend his stay at Malaysia for approximately 2 - 3 months.
Now the reason why I mentioned that he's an "Iranian atheist" is the fun part of this story (sarcasm), Iranian government considers him as an "infidel" and he's banned from Iran.
His Iranian passport can't get him anywhere where he can make a living.
So basically he has close to no options.
Now to where I come into all of this:
I want to help him.
I'm going to dedicate my free time for the next 2 - 3 months teaching him web development, the problem is, I don't know how to teach web development in such a short time, in fact I've never taught anyone programming from scratch.
If he can show promising results I know that I can make a case for him get him a position in the company I work for.
I already convinced him today to try and learn web development because I can tell that in Malaysia there's always demand on good web developers.
Now to my request:
how can I best teach web development to someone with no programming background ? I'm thinking about teaching him front end development, so: HTML, CSS/SASS and JavaScript. maybe react js as well if possible ( high demand is usually on React/ Angular front end developers)
Did anyone here teach programming to someone else before?
Did anyone here learn web development in such a short time?
If you've read all this... Thank you :)17 -
Hey guys, has anyone got an idea which Linux Distro I could use next? I've already been using Mint, Debian and OpenSUSE but now I'm searching for something different.27
-
I am not a math expert but I am almost 100% sure that 617 comes first (this is a bug that happens a lot when searching for top and all)
4 -
"Stop using mixins in your SASS it's complicating the code for the team.
Extend your classes instead"1 -
So...
I made a project that the employer liked.
He told me today that he wants me to work on a site builder like Wix but better.
I asked for the deadline and he said:
We started that with a view that it will be delivered in 2 months.
I'm like: -__-
And somehow I have this feeling that deadline will be cut in half when we start making some promising progress...1 -
Need a advice.
Have been a Windows user since many years. But at college I do use ubuntu and am familiar with it. So now I have developed interest in using Linux due to its simplicity and ease of use.
But for some tasks I still need Windows. So thinking to Dual boot my laptop. Have heard dual boot harms the laptop, makes it slow, blah blah.
So Is it advisable to Dualboot on a same machine?
My config:-
intel core i5 7th gen; 8 gb ram, 1 tb HDD,. 2gb AMD R5.9 -
Started a side project.
Learnt flutter and firebase.
Started coding app.
Four months pass by.
App is mostly ready.
Wakes up on Saturday morning.
Updates Android Studio and SDK because, why not?
Build failed!
Dependency depreciation warnings!
Java errors!
Firebase errors!
Emulator stopped running!
Wify is angry with me as we planned shopping but now this. Fortunately, she's also in IT, so she understands..
FML! Spent the entire day stackoverflowing and fixing errors!
8PM evening, I am back to Friday's status. My shoulder and neck hurts but my mind is chilled.6 -
Trying out Bootstrap for my new Admin Panel - So far so good, very beautiful.
I do front and backend design but I love to concentrate on the functionality of my system instead of the style. Thy Bootstrap
1 -
Hello devs. This happens to be my first rant. And I got a question to start off.
I'm looking for an existing public/open-source React project which is not too hard to understand and has a good folder/file structure and code structure. Something that gives me an idea of how a good production level code and project should be.
Any recommendation is appreciated. Can be your own project too.
Thank you 😊.10 -
after exploring a lot of ui frameworks and architectures, i am trying to go back to android dev but again with the curiosity for the one single question that i had at the start of my career 5 years back : why is it's ui so complex?
can anyone help me understand it?
like comparing with the most basic ui framework : html/css/js, why android is so different? we got activities, fragments and views. the worst thing in android is lifecycles, that each of these ui components have.
The view lifecycle is simple to get over with : whatever is the lifecycle of its parent, is the lifecycle of view.
a view's parent is another view, whose parent is another view, whose parent is... and so on until we reach the root view which is stored by either a fragment or activity
therefore a view's lifecycle = lifecycle of activity or fragment
till here its very clear. the fuckup is simply in the next part:
WTAF is activity ?WTAF is fragment? why are their various functions called in the sequence they are called? oncreate, on start, onstartview, ondestroy... why?
activity is still somewhat okay, but fragment is completey weird af : it can be a part of activity: basically it can cover your complete screen and behave as an activity itself (so you don't get to say that activity === screen and fragment === view) AND IT HAS ITS OWN FUCKING LIFECYCLES! So does that mean fragment's fucntions cna also be called by OS?
what's more mind fucking, is the fact that android activity can destroy/pause or recreate fragments on its own, by some "views" like viewpager , or even hold multiple fragments as "alive" at the same time, using something called a "backstack" ??!??!
and each of these fragments in the stack can be called by system at any time? like wtf???
all these stuff is super confusing and i haven't even scratched the surface. the newer , more complicated stuff like viewmodel, livedata and again "lifecycles" has a complete seperate behavior and functionality of their own. plus the various "reality-check" scenarios like: when a user is streaming a video in picture-in-picture mode while keeping your app in split screen with maps in the second split, when a call comes and the video keeps running, and user rotates the device, let me know the clusterfuck situation for the 3rd fragment in your 5 icon navigation view currently at the payment page with 2 fragments and 1 activity in backstack!!!
god bless thy soul for this shitty framework isn't going anywhere , rather its super strong and getting more clusterfucked with new beautiful shit everyday.
(if someone can ignore my gentle language, i would really like to know/get redirected to some resources where i can learn more on this)3 -
So first rant, here goes weirdness, and also lengthy rant
So in my company we have the hr and accounting managed by the same person which also deals with all things employee related and she had a need for a way to extract a birthday from, what is in our country the personal identification number, things go great i get a formula that performs parts of the magic up to the point where the first digit of the number dictates the gender and century to be used when forming the full year, mind you only the last two digits of the year are in plain within the id number so i thy a number of ideas. After bashing around google sheets for a while ( i've got open office installed and formulas don't export well to the excel that person uses but google sheets does so i built it there).
First idea : make a few conditionals to check for the value so we have 1 and 2 for 19th century, 3 and 4 for 18th century , 5 and 6 for 20th so i go ahead and write my conditions and they fail, all evaluates to false, it cascades through the else variants up to the last one so i'm wondering if the "if" itself doesn't support the or operator, seems it does, next i think it's the bloody condition written wrong so i reevaluate my logic in php in a test script, it works as intended, then i think ok not the right function called, let's see the docs, docs confirm i'm doing it right but what was wrong was the way i was getting that first number, using left seems to produce a string although the base thing is a number, now i start searching how i can cast it, like you would normaly do when the data type is fried, value function appears to be the solution but it isn't working....now i'm thinking "ok so i have a value and different things to print out so let's look for a switch, maybe it can understand that" switch function found under the form of choice, i get it sorted but am stuck wondering why the heck was the if and value combination not working.
Simple answer to that : value doesn't work well with function results, a known bug listed by someone in a comment, a comment i have failed to read for about 45 minutes of trying to understand.
All in all it worked well for the person asking for it so it's nice. -
DevRant should have a questions and awenser in the more tab so when people have question about DevRant, jobs and other things other people could awenser, I belive that is a good way from keeping rants and memes in a place and Q&A in other place2
-
Thought I'd print a useful article on JS design patterns....
Looks like I'll be messing with the CSS for a while!
1 -
A junior front end developer colleage of mine doesn't know the meaning of aspect ratio and doesn't understand why he needs to understand it or why is it important for responsive designs.3
-
Still remember my first year of university, listening to the full professor (i. e. she has a frickin PhD). She couldn't explain the difference between ++i and i++. When I tried to tell her what they meant, she dropped this gem: "oh, I just wrap them in parentheses to be safe so it makes no difference which one I use."
Luckily, future profs were much better.1 -
!rant;
A senior front end developer with 8 years of experience asked me today what does 'this' refer to in a function() inside of a property in an object, and why it doesn't work outside of the function!
I wanted to shout FUCK MY LIFE! But I held myself and explained it to her.
Worst part is I still don't qualify for 'senior' in my job title (less than 3 years of experience), hence my lower pay.5 -
I have an onsite technical interview test tomorrow. I have no clue what to expect as I have always done it online.
Should I expect it to be the same system but me just doing the online test in their offices 🙄?
NB: After the test I have an interview with the hiring manager.3 -
This morning I came across Shakespeare, I've never had such a nerdy laugh in years!
The follwoing is supposed to print "Hello World"
.
Ajax,
Puck,
Act I:
Scene I:
[Enter Ajax and Puck]
Ajax:You fat fat fat cat!
Puck:You is the sum of myself and the square of myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and twice twice myself and the sum of a cat and a fat cat!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat fat cat and thyself and the quotient between myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the difference between thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the sum of thyself and myself and a fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of myself and thyself!Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of the difference between myself and thyself and a fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
Puck:Speak thy mind!
Ajax:You is the sum of a fat cat and a cat!
Puck:You is the sum of thyself and myself!Speak thy mind!You is the difference between thyself and twice myself!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of thyself and a fat fat fat pig!Speak thy mind!You is the sum of a cat and a fat fat fat fat fat cat!Speak thy mind!
[Exeunt]
Source: https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/... -
Thank you those who tried to help me with my problem but I'm still not the best at this even though I've been doing for quite some time. I'm sorry I used some much of your time earlier also I apologize for calling out @example-user3
-
When non tech client complains about the design of the OS native popups and wants you to fix them...
-
Is there any alternatives to Atlassian's Confluence and Jira?
We used to use GitHub projects and wiki, but "the business" wanted a more formalised process and access controls on kanban boards and backlogs.
We started using Jira and Confluence last month, but Jira have been incredibly slow with a horrible interface also Everytime I create a new issue it feels like I'm wasting a lot of time compared to the time needed to setup an issue on GH and add it to a project board, plus the entire team is used to using markdown which doesn't work great on Jira.
I've looked for some alternative but I wonder what you are using out there!5 -
When you're the star player of your team in your final term, but then you graduate and enter the real world and find out how much more you have left to learn...
-
Did anyone here use sapper and svelte to build a production application? How was the experience overall?
I've been reading about it and watched Rich Harris present svelte and sapper, I like his approach but I'm not too sure about how it work in a production workflow1 -
Rant!
The wilde difference in native support between IE , gecko and WebKit is like difference between a real burger and MacDonald's,
They're both burgers but one will make you happy and the other will give diarrhea and a swollen butthole -
When I build something new for the first time.
A year ago I discovered PWA (progressive web apps), web workers and service workers, wanted to build something cool, I sat down at 10AM and started digesting every resource I could find, test, make mistakes, try again, then my eyes started to itch I looked at the clock it's already midnight ! -
Need some advice:
I got a job offer which I would love to start ASAP. However.. I have a 2 hospital dates one, 4th April and the other 13th May.
I am not sure what to tell the company. Should I be honest and say I got these 2 dates that I need to day off..or tell them about my first appointment and then later on in April tell them my appointment for May?
(This is my first job offer after graduation and I do not want the offer to then go away because if this..)4 -
Budget cuts are being made and my boss doesn't like me so goodbye I guess to my 90k salary. It might not sound like a lot to y'all but it is to me.3
-
How to stop thinking of code 😳, been doing sprints for some days and now got a dissertation to write up. I can think of is code ..
-
To all companies hiring can you stop expecting developers to know your language and actually acknowledge that the developer learnt the language then conducted the test for you? It also shows how quickly they can learn whilst developing the test.
I am honestly fed up of applying to jobs when companies do these sort of things. Been told to do this test in X language, so I have to research into this then get rejected at later stages.4 -
Is there a good tree view js plugin similar to jQuery.fancytree ?
I found alternatives that would work with react, Vue, etc but I'm looking for a framework free plugin. -
My uncle Kyle works for @creativeMISFITS and he taught me about his coding style so that's what I'm used to.5
-
I have no clue what I just did.
2 months ago I changed my repository name and today when I attempted to pushed an update I realised I had to update my remote key. Which I did.
Now..my repository now contains someone else's repository and my entire code base is non-existent.
Slightly pissed off that I'm now having to redo the entire work again but at same time I'm kinda amused on how I did this.13 -
A prayer from a colleague:
Our silicone god which art in the SSD
Italic be thy name
Thy computing come
Thy bus be done
On the screen
As it is on the hdd
Give us this day our daily blue screen
And forgive us our keystrokes, as we
forgive our keyboards.
And lead us not into restarts, but
deliver us from memory leaks: For thine is the
memory, and the cpu, and the
bus, for ever. Amen
Beautiful is it not :) -
In my early programming days I wrote a C++ program to store marks of n no of students but didn't got the output I checked for 3 hours then found that I was storing the data in another integer value and not in the array.
-
That feeling when you're optimizing your code and comment a small function to compare results, then few hours later you push to production and forget everything about that function.
It aint pretty, nope I can't run away from this one!2 -
I have an assessment test tomorrow where I need to demonstrate a prototype website that is responsive and show it to a client(interviewer)
I have only done the website prototype at the moment as I got told on Friday. Should i also create the mobile prototype or explain to the client that it will be responsive and works on mobiles4 -
Does anyone know how to preview your code through VS Code I can't view the files at the same time I can only open HTML or CSS or JavaScript by themselves9
-
Thee reminisce me of yond corse part at which hour smeared with poop thy did accept whither cleaning with dry pap'r
-
Achieved a 2:2 in computer science and graduating (got interviews with for some jobs). I have some sits in some modules, which could change my grade to a 2:1.
From a company point of view, is it worth going for the 2:1? Will it open more jobs / better salary straight away? Or shall I go for the first job offered with the 2:2 I got.7 -
For every one that thinks that if you use try/catch on everything make your code all errors desapiring you are living a lie!! They still exist now if the users see or not it depends on what you put inside the catch
-
Does anyone know if I can take a CSS file and put it into brackets without loading an external file/dropbox19
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FAQ,
How long does it usually take to ship the dev rant stickers (far east Asia)?
Is it rude to ask for a stress ball for my 300++ post ?2 -
I want to build a code transpiler/ transformer as a side project I looked around but I can't find where to start.
Does anyone have any useful info on this ?1
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