My wife is turning into my project manager . . .

Me : Check out this game I'm building as a side project!

Wife : Wow that's really neat! I expect to be able to play it on my phone. 1 month?

Me: What? I haven't even learned how to port ...

Wife : (interrupts) ONE MONTH

Scope creep even at home *sigh

##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !

Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*

Client : no, this is not the right way

Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..

Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..

Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways

So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.

Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "

Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."

Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"

Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."

Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?

Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."

Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."

Me :*explaining what I just said *

Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"

Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)

Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"

(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)

My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?

Tldr : In my country, there is always a middleman .It is so rare to work for end client directly and it is very common to be fuck over by them, because they want milk you out as much as possible

Job description : Salary range from X to Y

Me : I expect 90% of Y $
HR : if you pass technical examination we can agree on this amount.

*Technical interview*
All correct answers, perfect match with stack etc.

HR calling next day:
HR: Great job on interview, but you need to lower your financial expectation to X (around 50% of Y)
Me: Why? We have spoken the other day and you said there would be no problem with the money. I nailed the interview, I don't understand why I should agree to lower wage.
HR: I know I know, but right now we cannot give more. Maybe later
Me: I am sorry, but I feel kinda cheated. For me this is red flag since I don't know what I can expect later if you are not sincere from the beginning. I won't take your offer, goodbye.

Asked Google Assistant what it knew about me. Didn't expect this answer but surprisingly point on.

All that neural and machine learning is paying off in a seriously creepy way.

BTW new to the community, first post and loving it!

Trashy Girl that literally did not talk to me in over five years and even back then only talked to me if she needed something texts me today:

Girl: Hi :) How are you?

Me: *oh fuck no* Hi! Good, how about you?

Girl: Great! You know how to program apps right?

Me: *Fuck you* Yeah, whatcha planning?

Girl: Sooo my boyfriends brother has an idea for an app, it’s basically like instagram and snapchat but it’s actually *insert location based snapchat ripoff idea*

Me: Well sure but that’s quite a long term project and App Development kinda isn’t cheap to outsource!

No answer.

I’m like what did you expect?

Same shit everyday. Sometimes I consider starting a new life in a country where noone knows I can code, work remote and answer with “pleas” when people ask me what I do.

I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.

Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)

He completed.

I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “

Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”

“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “

Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”

“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”

Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”

“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”

Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”

Update on my job interviews:
I had four so far.
Got rejected from all of them.
The reason of most of them was that they would have to teach me too much.
I am applying as a junior.
What do they expect? Fucking Linus Torvalds or geohot?

I hate all of these rants about JavaScript being a terrible language.

In reality, it's one of the easiest languages to work with. This makes it easier for new programmers to write messy code, but is it the language's fault?

People get mad about the things that happen when you multiply "undefined" and a string...what do you expect?

You also have the freedom to choose from a variety of tools the community has created to solve existing problems. People just don't realize that they don't *have* to learn everything, you just learn as you need them.

Don't blame JavaScript for you bad programming, terrible type conversion needs, and great tooling.

!dev

Being an introvert 17-year-old is tough at times :/

Have yet to find someone who shares my interests and has the will to get to truly know me.

Most people just barely scratch the surface and judge for what they see, but after all, I cannot expect any sort of deep relationship to take place with any of my peers.

Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?

Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!

You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!

Hey. This code look broken. What should I do?

It isn't broken. It's doing what it's supposed to.

Well, it's hard to follow, but it certainly doesn't look right. And it isn't doing what I expect. Also, why is it calling method(a_class1_or_class2) with a class3?

It isn't hard to follow, and it works just fine. Let me show you. ... huh. looks like it isn't right. and there's a comment here saying the calls aren't clear. but it works just fine. Just copy it over and do it the same way.

I already did that. and it isn't working.

What are you talking about? Of course it works fine. Did you check your code?

------

Really, dude? It doesn't work fine. but, guess what? It works fine* when I change it to call that method with a class2 like it asks for. (Surprise!) But I can't tell him that. Nope. Bossmang get offended. Still won't admit I was right about anything, either.

Ahh... the continual joy of working with (and for) trash.

* well, more fine; the rest of the feature is still wrong. but nope, i'm not allowed to fix it. because why would they want anything to work properly? Already-accepted wrong behavior is good enough. Can't clean up the code, either, because that "muddies the waters." Bitch, I couldn't see the bottom of this sewer if it was half an inch deep! Which is more important: the last contributor entry beside the code, or that code being readable and maintainable? or it, you know, working?

doot doot.
need to scoot.

Just decided to try brave browser. Not to actually try it out but to see if it calls home or not and what the default search engine is.

As for a browser which advertises itself as very privacy friendly, I would expect it to not call home and have at least duckuckgo or searx as default search engine.

5-6 calls home every damn time I open it and google is the default search engine.

How the fuck would you call that privacy friendly?!

my laptop started lagging AS FUCK so i BARELY even managed to open task manager to see whats happening and of course. what else could i expect

FUCK

Life of Boris, a youtube chanel of a slav guy that makes random stuff (and some delicious russian recipes 😋) uploaded this video few hours ago.

I watched it, and I didn’t expect the video to be an actual Python tutorial 😂 I loved it!

What do you think?

P.D. I hope this is not necessary, but I remind you that Life of Boris is not a programming channel, please don’t be too strict, it’s just entretainment

I have colleagues that enjoy only drinking, nothing wrong so far but those guys are ordering a lot of crates monthly on the company budget.

You can see it as part of the fun or making the workplace enjoyable, what's wrong with having some relaxed atmosphere?

The funny fact that each developer has an education budget and guess what? you can't even claim it, the manager said no to conferences, if you want to get a book or training he will come up with 1000 excuses.

So when the company priority is spending thousands on drinks and ignore education and growth don't expect the motivated developers to stick longer.

Coolest thing about platforms like devrant, is that it's so easy to get people to read what you have to say, and get them to notice you.

It doesn't matter if you have a nice profile picture, have a lot of friends/followers or anything like that.

The content is what matters.
Also, its not like everything here is developer related or is super nerdy, most of the stuff you see are normal things you'd expect people to post on things like Facebook when they want to be social and connect with people.

It's sad that this is not how most social media is done.

Let me tell you a story:
One upon a time poor lil PonySlaystation received a call. It was a nice guy who cried about his WordPress website had been hacked. So the clusterfuck began...

He gave me the login credentials for the hosting back-end, DB, FTP and CMS.
A hacked WP site was not new for me. It was probably the 6th of maybe 10 I had to do with.
What I didn't expect was the hosting back-end.
Imagine yourself back in 1999 when you tried to learn PHP and MySQL and all was so interesting and cool and you had infinite possibilities! Now forget all these great feelings and just take that ancient technology to 2018 and apply it to a PAID FUCKING HOSTING PROVIDER!
HOLY FUCKING ASSRAPE!
Wanna know what PHP version?
5.3.11, released the day before gomorrah was wiped.
The passwords? Stored in fucking plaintext. Shown right next to the table name and DB user name in the back-end. Same with FTP users.
EXCUSE ME, WHAT THE FUCK?!

I have to call Elon Musk and order some Boring Company Flame Throwers to get rid of this.

Long story long, I set up a new WP, changed all passwords and told the nice guy to get a decent hoster.

First of all, I hate crammers so much. These people kill the industry without even understanding it. They turned interviews into exams, missed the point of hiring, and saw no distinction between knowledge and information all the time. They don't understand that if you can google an answer in five seconds, it's not knowledge. It's information.

They don't understand that questions like 'what will Python do if you delete an item from a dict while iterating over it' are complete nonsense. They don't understand that it's not 'dig deep'; it's just a bad practice that leads to errors, thus must be avoided. The fact of remembering 'RuntimeError: dictionary changed size during iteration' means that you haven't been avoiding it enough.

One more example. Which signature is correct?
- ApplicationListener<ContextRefreshedEvent>
- ApplicationListener<ContextRefreshEvent>
- ApplicationListener<RefreshedEvent>
- ApplicationListener<RefreshEvent>

Second. What's the point of forcing you to write compilable code in google docs? Do they really expect that one could possibly remember 'import org.springframework.beans.factory.annotation.Autowired;'? Seriously?

Third. Why do they expect me to know Spark, Java, J2EE, Spring Boot, Python, Kafka, Postgres, React/Redux, TypeScript, and work for miserable 70K EUR?

What's wrong with the European IT job market? Are they fucking nuts?

Have my first job interview today oh boy i have no idea what to expect

Why would you submit a pull request with the addition of such a comment and expect me to approve? What the hell is wrong with you?

It's only day one of the year and I'm already pissed right off

Why the fuck do all clients expect you to come up with absolutely everything!?

All I ever get is we want a website. I ask well what do you want on it.. our products .. news? Contact maybe ... Urm our business information ... That kind of stuff.

Well what are they?

Pft.. I here is a name if our products. And other stuff

WE ARE SELLING IT WAT ARE THE PRICES AND INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE IMAGES

Yeah do you want them

Of course I do 😐

Great here's 2 of them we have 1100 so I'll get more to you soon.

😤 Thank you!

Holy shit it's always like talking to a fucking brick wall.. why do people have to make our jobs so hard it's already fucking tough

I have no time to plan your entire website by myself I don't know what you want on it. How could I possibly know that!? It's your fucking site

!dev

To anyone suffering from chronic pain, especially lower back pain: Don't get fooled by shitty doctors. And don't expect doctors to magically heal you. If you want to stop your suffering, you need to be proactive.

What? But my herniated disc from 10 years ago... bla bla bla. So what? It's not going to get better when your only exercise is putting on your socks. Chances are 99% that your spine has shit to do with your pain. Go to a proper chronic pain therapy instead of downing opiods and getting sick notes.

Note to self: Do your sports every day you lazy bastard. Eat healthy, sleep regularly, don't stress out over every damn thing and don't forget to fucking relax!

Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug

What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.

SWIFT!!!!! I understand that you're a relatively new language so I forgave you for all of your wrong doings..BUT WHAT THE FINGER IS THIS SHIT YOU HAVE IMPLEMENTED IN YOUR STRING DATATYPE? WHY THE FUCK CAN'T YOU FORM A CHARACTER FROM AN EMPTY STRING? AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED TO THE SUBSCRIPT OPERATOR? WHY NOT JUST ADOPT THE "\0" AS OTHER LANGUAGES? But NOOOOO...We're Apple we'll not adopt it..I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT STUPIDITY AND LUCK OF INNOVATION RAN IN THE IPHONE TEAM BUT APPARENTLY ITS EVERYWHERE..Its annoying because the String datatype is one of the most common and basic data types so the last thing you expect is this shit..APPLE........SERIOUSLY AND SINCERELY FUCK OFF

As a developer, always expect the unexpected! Except when deploing to production on friday afternoons, then you know exactly what to expect.

Internship Rant #2

I can't believe I'm hating my job right now. It sucks because I have never coded in javascript and they expect me to code in javascript. I don't even know what I am doing, but I'm trying my best. I kinda have something already, but the worst part of it is that my boss comes in once in a while and sits beside me looking at my screen and of course, he expects me to tell him what I have been doing and what progress I have done. It's stressful cause I specifically told him that I have never coded in JavaScript and he still thinks I can get things done in a few days.

Perks of new job:
- I can take a bath there whenever I want
- gr8 bathroom 11/10
- gr8 heater, no need to have my hands shaking all the time
- workspace is nice and everyone has an extension so my phone and laptop are always on full charge
- flexible work schedule
- easy access to company files hehehe including credentials

Anyways, so I have to deal with this for three months.

Is it just me, or does nobody read their fucking email? Especially when I try explain how a bug isn't trivial to solve because its based on some shitty design decision, that the managers made, that is practically the core of the app. If YOU cant understand the logic with me explaining it to you in plain FUCKING ENGLISH, than how in the name of baby FUCKING jesus, do you expect me to communicate that to the most complicated machines that man has ever built?!? What in the actual fuck do you even do here?!? I could do your job blind-folded, with terminal access to the db, while a monkey was flinging shit at me!

!dev but definitely rant

Here's a fucking thought:
How is holding women over different standards at events and (non-physical) competitions (hackathons especially, somehow) NOT widely considered sexist? I don't even mean towards men - yes, of course.
But also towards women: By preferring their results in some competitions in order to "support them", you implicitly degrade them to be small children in need for praise. You imply that you expect them to perform worse. By "women-first" PR bullshit, you do what you claim to be against. Fuck you.

Why can't we just hold everyone to the same fucking standards? Women can be just as good in tech as men, when interested. I would even make a point that these different standards hold back women from trying to get into any tech-related career.

Non dev activity that has helped...

Erm, working in retail stores for many years before deciding to take a serious look at devWork as a full time job rather then a hobby.

Has helped make a great base knowledge to what customers expect and what sales people expect a platform to be able to do which just makes things easier in an over complicated environment 🤣

Them: "What can we do to fix this?"

Me: Contact the vendor

Them: Ok, but from our side?

Me: Wait for the vendor to reply

Them: And what can we do to prevent this from happening again?

Me: get better vendors, include I.T on the process when the org decides to purchase shitty third party software.

Them: Ok but besides that?

Me: Drink?

Seriously tho, tf you expect me to do?

This is what happens when you make style more important than function.

Pop quiz: when you lift the handle, what temperature water do you expect to come out? (This isn’t a trick question; assume you have an awesome water heater with instant warm-up time)

“Hot,” you might say, because the “H” is pointed towards you and aligned with the faucet.

“Cold,” you might say, because the handle is turned in the direction of the “C”.

There wouldn’t be any ambiguity if the H/C markings were on an immobile part of the fixture so that the relative position of the handle made the answer obvious.

(If you instinctively answered “cold” then congrats this is the perfect faucet for you.)

My new team more or less forced me to change from a Windows machine to a Mac (Mac book pro, I think?) due to "compatibility issues", so I thought I might as well see what all the Mac fuzz is about. Here is a list of my observations so far:
- If you try powering on the mac book with more than one DisplayPort cable plugged in, the screen will go black until you plug all DP cables out

- If you unplug your DisplayPort cables to go to a meeting you can expect one of the monitors getting frozen on the blurry login screen (without any login prompt) when you get back (while the main monitor shows your desktop without the taskbar)

- If you get out of range from your wireless peripherals (keyboard in this case) while going to a meeting your keyboard layouts are most likely deleted and reset to U.S qwerty when you get back to your desk

- When pressing quit on any application you can't expect in to close and clear up memory, it will remain in the background until you force kill it.

- There is a 50/50 chance that your Mac book never wakes up from sleep

Best thing is that I found out today that the software we use is completely compatible with any RedHat/Solaris distro.

Rant over.

i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards

Tests!

Before you write a piece of code, write tests which will check that the code does what you expect. This helps you in two ways:

1. It forces you to think about and understand the purpose and aim of the code you're about to write before you start hacking away at it.

2. You know when you're finished, because the tests will pass.

Several hours ago decided to quit my job due to insane manager (more in the upcoming rants) without a new job lined up.

An hour ago I got an interview invite from Uber.

WHAT IS HAPPENING

P.S. Anyone working at Uber? Did you have to do much LeetCode? I’ve done two LC exercises in my entire life. Not sure what to expect.

When your parents expect you to be tech support and then fucking can't fix it, they get all like "You suck at programming". What does that have to do with fucking anything?!?!?!

What I've learned from my boss
-UI is easy to change, it's only css
-It is always low level programmer fault
-Management is never wrong
-You have to be early for them to be extra late
-Complex thing have to be simple
-Being straightforward is only one way
And lastly never ever expect a raise

You guested it, I don't work there anymore! Fuckin cunt

So I’m looking at a senior dev role, and wondering what kind of coding challenges to expect, what have some of you more senior devs had to face in the past?

Spotify premium ad: "Subscribe to Spotify premium and you can skip any number of songs you want. We won't take it personally."

Actually you do!
What I skip and what I listen through tells your machine learning what I like and what not. That's how it builds my listening profile.
So your (software's) opinion of me directly depends on what and how much I skip.
(I expect that skips from people skipping often to have less value than from seldom skippers.)

That sounds like the definition of "taking it personally"!

"There needs to be a Home option on the side menu, people won't know to click on the company logo in the top left."

What sort of fucking moron doesn't know that?

"The website is slower to click around than I'd expect."

No shit. Do you remember the part where you said we had to build it in WordPress?

We do infra as a code, and one of my coworker worked on the project alone. Few months down the road, when shit hits the fan, he just message me this is not working.

First of all, I did not write that shit, and also I was never part of the conversation during the decision making. So when shit hits the fan what do you expect me to do? Do some black magic and fix it magically???

I am speechless! Assigned back to a project after leaving it for four months, went to see tasks, and they are like this:
Q1. Why did't you do this for the app?
A1: Because your team has not yet provided API, how is my team supposed to implement

Q2: Why having this in the app? either x or y not both!
A2: You guys wanted both

Q3: Why is the app showing data that must not be displayed?
A3: Because your server is sending me the data based on the criteria I sent? What else do you expect

and the list goes on ....

I just had a chat with the CEO (I'll call him John) of the company I work at. I was trying to get a real alignment on what I need to do to be a valuable resource to this company. They promoted me (without a raise in pay) to a different (management) role, and I do not know what I need to do to be the best in this role.

During the discussion, the CEO failed to provide any usable metrics, or a way to track those, except for phrases like "higher productivity" and "higher quality". How to track? No idea.

So, at this point, me being the idiot I am, wanted to make things explicit:
*Me: Okay, so what if I request for a 20% raise six months from now, what metrics will you look at to decide whether to give me the raise.

(My last raise was a big one, more than 100% or so, more than a year ago. That was a dev role, and I was paid 2 cents earlier, so the doubling to 4 cents wasn't really a big deal.)

John went on a long rant on how people just expect raises every year, inflation, etc. All good and fine.
But then he mentioned something strange.

*John: ...and you know, for the last three years, there has been a race to retain resources. During this race, many companies, including us, had to pay people WAY MORE THAN THEIR VALUE to retain them. These people are going to be the first to be fired during cost-cutting as they are the most expensive resources at the company without any proven value. These people should not expect raises to come soon, and if they do expect that, they need to prove the value themselves.

Now, I, being a simpleton, am wondering how is it fair for an organization to pay someone "more than their value" to retain them once so that they can just be fired two years later. How did the company decide the value of such employees to begin with?

And all this is ignoring the fact that in the company there are no metrics, no KPIs, and performance of a person is how much the CEO likes that guy. How TF the people who joined a year ago and never interacted with the CEO prove their worth?

Developers are building PowerPoints and configuring JIRA/Confluence/Laptops of Sales team, project managers are delegating management to developers and decision-making to the CEO, Technical architect is building requirements documents, Business Analyst is the same person as the QA team lead (and badly stretched), and the Release Manager is the Product Technical Admin that cannot write one sentence in English. And then we got 3.8 hours in meetings every DAY. Why TF are Dev Managers in "QA KPI Meeting"? Why are "developers" writing documentation on "How to create meeting notes at <company>"?
And, in this hell-storm, how does one really demonstrate one's value?

PHP ist one of the languages I use regularly, but not the main language.
Anyhow, passing an array to a function will create a Copy of the array unless you specifically choose to Pass the reference.
That's seriously fucked up. What other language does that?! Coming from C, Java, Python to PHP I was not prepared to expect shit like that.

so management decided that the PM/PO/SM role has to be split and that SM shall be done by someone else.

PM in retro: so i will give away this role because i cannot fulfill all roles adequately, not because of missing skills, but because of missing time. this is also why i couldn't finish my development task for this sprint. so, someone of you guys has to do the job. i expect the future SM to be always available for me in the morning and the afternoon, so due to timezone shift this has to be someone from the German colleagues. I will have to explain to that person what exactly I as a PO expect from the SM and the SM will have to follow this guideline. also, being SM is no excuse for not delivering your stories, it just takes very little time.

...i don't need to comment on this at all, he already makes a perfect clown of himself 🤡

Hmm. I'm sure some of you could come up with more reasons why they wouldn't recommend Windows 10 to a friend lol.

But like for most people there is only two options for OS: Mac or Windows. At this point, everyone has their preference. What do they expect? You and your mates chilling at a bar, and then you bring this up: "Aye fellas fellas. You guys ever use Windows 10? It's freaking awesome man."

!dev sucks++
Soo, my GF who I moved to Germany for wrote that we needed to talk on Friday (today is Monday).
I was away for the weekend, and yester I asked what I could expect when I got home.
She wrote that we could hug, but not kiss...
One short phonecall later, she had broken up...

So now I will have to figure out what I will do... I don't have a home anymore (moved into her apartment), my job sucks, so nothing left...

Hold me

X: Hi, regarding that ticket that you made...

You said "Implement logging to find out the culprit in site generation"...

What do you mean exactly?

Me: "Read the meeting notes, we had a full discussion on this 2 weeks ago".

X: "We don't understand it..."

Me: "As I said before, I have no experience in this tech stack... I'd expect bla to have a logging framework and I'd - for easier recognition - implement additional logging levels based on criteria <me just reading the meeting notes>"

X: But how do we do it?

...

I wish I had invented this discussion.

Because it hurts.

For the jolly of it, I had similar discussions today.

Three times to be exactly.

As I asked some dev what I should do next, put a foley catheter up his urethra or change the bed pan he wasn't amused.

Guess I'll get monday a call of HR.

So Monday I have less work to do, which is awesome.

declare @username varchar(255)
if @username is null
set @username = suser_name()

.........

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT @USERNAME TO BE RIGHT AFTER YOU DECLARED IT???

Oh my god, document your god damn API so I know what to expect! So many bloody edge cases!

I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".

He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".

YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.

...and he mumbles.

I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.

When my professor wanted us to make a GUI for a Pig Latin Translator on the first day of Intro to Java and it was due that night. Like I just learned what System.out.println(); does, how do you expect me to do that?

Why the fuck did you guys change my vps to read only file system.

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH TIME.

What do you expect to tell my clients?

I should look into if I have legal rights to migrate everything to a more stable provider.

Sick and tired of having issues because other people fck up. It's a shame I have been using this provider for 5 years without any problems. And now servers left and right start having problems.

One shitty thing about working in a Japanese company is that they make you write personal goals/targets (目標). These goals they expect you to achieve don't actually relate to your work most of the time and it's not about personal growth, but more about what you did to improve the company.

Another thing is their expectations that you can achieve all this within a year on top of your work is kind of unrealistic. Plus even if you achieve such goals, it does not equate to good performance review and/or salary increases.

Holy fuck...I didn't expect this.
simple terminal from suckless.org
(aka. st) After appiled path "alpha" -> It did transperent in the way that if you have 2 terminal overlaps -> It'll draw a transperent surface with the underline terminal. so, It's not an idea for open vim with i3 tab or stack mode. I kinda gave up on using it until I realize -> what if underline terminal is "mpv" which is video player. This is a result (Holy fuck is awesome). by set "hi Normal ctermbg=NONE" in vimrc to make transperent background with vim.
Now, I have "mps-youtube" which allow me to watch youtube with mpv, basicly (vim + youtube) as the same time.
ps. If gif is not play -> tell me, I'll upload video. (seriously, is awesome)

Don't you just hate when your boss goes like:
"Why isn't this feature working?"

SHIT FUCK, IF I KNEW THE REASON, MAYBE I WOULD HAVE FIXED THAT SHIT, INNIT?

WHAT KIND OF FUCKING QUESTION IS THAT?

"Well you should have tested better"

IT TOOK A MONTH FOR 1 USER TO SEE THAT BUG, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? YOU EXPECT ME TO SEE THAT BUG IN THE FEW HOURS OF TESTING I CAN ACTUALLY DO FOR THIS PROJECT?

"There also are other 15 project to get done"

FUCK THIS SHIT

*2 days ago in a meeting*
Boss: "We need you to develop this, this .... *adds 10 tasks in Trello*

*1 day ago. less than 24 hours*
Boss: "So , what's new regarding the tasks?"
ME (angry): "You just gave me all those tasks less than 24 hours ago. What kind of news do you expect?"

*Boss leaving to his desk, laughing from embarrassment.*

!dev
I used to read.. A lot. Long and complicated stories, where the plot would only unveil itself after a long time. I used to dig myself into a book, learning about the writer's thoughts and mental image, reflecting on our differing viewpoints on the question at hand. I didn't expect action or beauty, merely thoughts which, by themselves, constitued a value to me.
But pulp and especially social media had lowered my attention span to the point that even reading through a short story without getting sidetracked takes a lot of effort. I still value what I used to value, the only thing that's changed is that I no longer have the patience and I feel discomfort due to the lack of sensations.
What do I do? Had anyone solved this problem before?

"not sure if we can meet those salary requirements, but I'll get back to you"

JK they just send me the code challenge, no idea of what salary to expect. scratch that one off the list.

meanwhile in another prospect i have had not just multiple interviews, but then add on two additional 'prep' and 'post' interviews for each of the ORIGINAL interviews i have to do with the recruiting company REEEEEEEEEEEEE

honestly it's not a good reflection of what is really valued at these companies - paper pushing over getting to work... ok

WEVE ALREADY TALKED FOR HOURS JUST MAKE A DESICION: GIVE ME AND OFFER, OR DON'T AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sometimes I feel people underestimate us.

During all my life, people has asked me if I can fix their *any device* because it goes slowly/something doesn't work.

But, of course, for free. Because they think the only thing we do is pushing 3 buttons and everything is done. They think everything solves itself easily.

Then is the fact that we should be able to fix everything always. Even if the hardware is broken. Even if there isn't any way to solve the problem.

I think we deserve a little bit more from society. I don't expect people to understand what we do but at least something better than the guy who formats your computer when it starts to go slow.

(Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way or it's just where I live, idk)

Actually I feel I am prety lucky about the relationship between my yamily and me being a dev. My dad is a developer as well (in fact, he was the one who taught me most of what I know today; not as in general coding, but good and bad programming practices, tips what to do next ...) and my mom just started learning Python.
So they know prety well what it means to be a dev and have quite realistic image of what to expect.
To be fair, I am still the one who usualy fixes broken printers and replugs unplugged ethernet cables. but that is because I enjoy doing that. I take it as a challenge for myself to figure out what/how/when went something wrong. Most of the times I try to figure that even without touching the broken things.
Anyway, getting off topic.
Alltogether I don't think that they have too unrealistic expectations, but if I had to chose one, it'd be my learning capabilities. I can't learn complete java in 2 days ...

What sucks most about smartphones is how much everyone came to rely on them and expect you to have one which is turned on and working. Rent a bike? Need an app! Log in somewhere? Need 2FA. I just want to leave my phone turned off for a few days like in the good old days. There must be something wrong with the way we live.

I love getting a fucking email for every fucking change, instead of getting a list of desired changes.

You know what? Fuck this, I'm tired of being the nice guy, I'm not even getting paid for this, and you expect me to do it expediently on a Sunday. I'm done, you can find someone else to piss off for free.

a client today wanted a specialized high performance, extremely stable, stock management software for pharmaceutical products, he also wants the software distributed, cross platform, and expect the delivery to be in a week or so, oh and did i mention that he also wants it to have an extremely good looking ui,
he got offended that i said you can only have one or two of those things not all of them,
for context, I'm just a freelancer not a big company and doing what he wants is impossible for me, also it was a billion ages since i worked on anything desktop related, web is all I'm diving into lately

Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)

she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it

What a sad and frustrating day!
I got a call from recruiter. I told him that I'm not actively looking for change. But he requested for 2 mins to listen. He started telling about his company, how great it is, tech stack, perks, salary etc. He is telling everything but not company name, I waited patiently and asked what's the pay I can expect. The number blew my mind, it's nearly double to my current pay. Then...

Me: that sounds amazing, which company is this, and where is it?
Him: it is <my company name> and located at <my current location, same campus>
Me: .....
Him: so, what do you think?
Me: .... I need some time. Let me update my LinkedIn profile first and then, i will get back to you.
Him: sounds wonderful, will call back by Monday. <Call disconnected>
Me: <inside my head> @$_-$#(/+&_#

This in my 10th year in this company, some one kill me please.

Client: Hey guys! Let us start a bunch of projects that are all dependent on each other and expect them to deliver those on time.

Me: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

I'm having an in-person interview with Amazon AWS team next week. What to expect? Any tips on these interviews?

What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.

When a client sends you an email with multiple question marks "????" Just because you havent answered an email solely stating "ok thanks" in the past 24 hours.

What am I even supposed to do with that dude?

PS we need to fix some stuff on his wordpress website thingy to which we agreed literally a day ago. First of all do you really expect we magically fixed everything today even or ehm at least try to be friendly instead of just sending a bunch of question marks thank you very much

OK I can understand he his not a technical guy but what kind of answer did he expect from me on "what could go wrong while you create the new server on AWS?", I had no idea what to say so I whent with "a meteorite could fall on the amazon building"

OMFG. Here's a self-rant for you all...

So, working on a JS library to build widgets, I five across some weird behaviour where I expect `$.ajax.apply()` to pass something to the chained `.done()` method, but it comes out differently.

Fuck. Right, time to visit StackOverflow and glean some knowledge.

I post a question, complete with examples and descriptions and a little midget unicorn in the corner for world peace.

Come back a bit later to see what's happened, and nobody understands my damn question!

So I proceed to debate a few points with some other devs, going back and forth for a while, but still nobody knows what I'm asking.

Fuck. Time for a JSFiddle...

Copy code from the jQuery docs and start modifying it to show what I was working with... Now suddenly is all working as the docs say.

O.o

So I go look back at my own code again to try work out what's actually going on.

Turns out I completely missed MY OWN CODE.

Fuck me.

I finally heard a retarded question on a job interview. I thought they were just jokes.. I was wrong!
What kind of a question is "how would your friends describe you?"..
They'd say I'm fucking awesome, did you expect a different answer?
Or when I gave them a referral, my previous boss, and they asked me what would he say about me.. well fuck me sideways, I have no idea.

And one of the last ones, "tell us your three top qualities that would make us hire you". What kind of information does such a question even give them? Are they testing me how well I can lie? Because I can't, and others that can lie will give a better answer, regardless of the reality.

And they were even taking notes after these questions.

Other than that, nice company. I really want to start working there soon.

them: welcome new project members, this is our CI/CD pipeline which is completely different from the rest of the company, there won't be any great knowledge transfer, we just expect you to be able to know and use everything. but also, we expect you to work on your tasks and don't waste any time.
me: okay, so my tasks aren't going as fast as expected, because I need to invest some learning so i can set up my project correctly.
later: some help would be nice, i'm stuck right now
coworker: *helps me to fix my problems, which were partly due to misconfigured build servers* i know it's a lot, and unfortunately, for this topic sources on the web aren't so good. i can really recommend this book, this will give a deeper understanding of the topic.
me: okay, yeah i mean, tbh, i'll read the book if the project invests some time for me so i can learn everything that's required, but this won't happen. also, some initial workshop on the topic or anything would have been nice.
coworker: well, i mean, i am a software developer. for me, it is normal that i learn all that stuff in my free time. and i think that's what the PM expects from us.
me: okay, that's fine for you, i mean, if i'm interested in a topic, i will invest my private time. but in this case, PM would just expect me to do unpaid labor, to gain knowledge and skills that i can use in this specific project. i'm not willing to do that.
coworker: ...
me: ...

it's not that i don't want to learn. the thing is that there isn't any energy left by the end of the day. i'm actually trying to find some work life balance, because i don't feel balanced right now, haven't felt since i started this job.
also, this is only one of several projects i'm working on. it's like they expect me this project has top priority in my life. if it wasn't so annoying on different levels, maybe i'd have a more positive attitude towards it.

also, at the moment i find it fucking annoying that i have to invest so much time in this dev ops bullshit and this keeps me from doing my actual work.

if they are unhappy with my skills, either they can invest in my learning or kick me out. at this point, either is fine for me..

As a junior developer it's frustrating to not have the skill yet of mentally mapping data models in your head, so that you can figure out bugs.

I see senior developers being able to quickly solve bugs because they can translate code into data models and they can figure out what's wrong.

Me on the other hand, I spend hours and days with my hands in my hair trying to figure out why my algorithm isn't giving me back what I expect it to.

It'll take experience.. I only have 1 year experience..

If you only pay your junior web developer $11/hour to handle projects by themselves, what kind of quality of work do you expect to have?

We founded a 3 man startup.
I am on holiday for two weeks and my mates paid 50k to someone so he programs a prototype app without any specifications. They told him about what the app should display without any mockups or images via Skype. Returned Monday, found out about it, and on the following Monday we will see the current status..
Oh boy, dog help me. I expect a clickdummy made with Adobesomething, and we paid 50k for that. Why didn't they wait for 2 weeks?!

Almost a month has gone by with my new job, and I already hate it. I thought it would be fun... but it is the worst!
They expect us to work 24/7! What are we? Robots? I am not working 24/7, end of discussion. Even if this means I have to quit my job at the end of this week if they don't agree to my "demands" about having a healthy working hours. I am already looking for a new job, because I got a feeling they won't want me there anymore after this week, because we're going to have a meeting about this.

Why have the majority of social networks decided that people using their service in the most basic way deserves a notification?

"Ooh, I have 3 notifications according to the app icon, they must be things that need my attention."
<opens app>
* In case you missed DickSlap's [tweet/post/other]
* RomanHelmet liked a [tweet/post/other] from SpaffMuncher
* MuffSnapper added a new photo

Why does that need a notification? That's just users using your app. That's what I expect when I open the app. I expect to see people posting things. This is going to make me start ignoring notifications in the same way I ignore emails marked as urgent.

I thought living alone without my family will help me to be more productive but no! When I got out of the office and start walking towards my home, I feel like there is no one waiting for me. What am I doing? When I reach, I feel empty, all alone, by myself. Maybe, it's time to marry someone, maybe a girlfriend? But I don't have any courage to start a conversation with a woman. I just expect someone will talk to me out of interest. But none! Is marrying someone the only solution? having a family is the ultimate peace? IDK

Had anyone experienced with an impatient boss who require you to complete the project in the month you just recently got hired?

Here's the story, I recently got hired by a company, joined on 1st April 2022, the boss expect me to complete the app for Android and iOS by the end of this month. (An e-commerce applications exactly like shopee.com) Without providing me the Backend ApI , that they mentioned. They just gave me a and expect me to know what's happening at the backend.

He require me to give him a specific date that I can launch the app to play store and Apple store. (From my experience, it take days, weeks or months). He need a milestone of what I need , did , and will do (which predictably that they will reject any new ideas proposed) .

I even considering to quit, but I need opinions. Am I just too sensitive or there's something wrong?

*Pro tip:* add comments in your code stating what you're gonna write next! This helps the reader to know what to expect!

[filename EventsTable.js]

Just left my scammy dating website job and joined a startup in silicone valley, rn I’m waiting to join my standup meeting and idk what to expect 😂 y’all help me.

Me: Why are we spending time building reports for Support? AFAIK they never read or use them.

Boss: Seems they expect you to do it.

Me: Then what exactly are they supposed to be doing? All the issues seem to just escalate back to us.... We should just make sure issues never get into PROD

Boss: I agree, they're always firefighting... we gave them more funding so eventually they should catch up **Me: I highly doubt it, you should just stop hiring monkeys** esp. if we prevent PROD issues.

Me: Yea... we should prevent production issues because someone always has to pay off the (technical) debt and interest rates in PROD are very high

My first (student/part time) developer interview tomorrow! I'm not 100% sure what to expect since this is my first interview of this type. Nervous and excited though!

People who assign vague tasks to you, without any context or anything remotely resembling a brief, for a project you know almost nothing about. And then expect you to be able to magically work out what they're actually wanting. Whilst demanding ridiculous turnaround times. I mean, are you fucking serious?

A few years ago I would whine, complain and rant about shitty software, which I knew could be so much better than it was. But I didn't yet write software of my own.

Now I complain about shitty libraries, API's and users. Not much has changed really. And every time I write code, I curse myself, and whoever made this trashpile I have to work with. I curse the user to the moon and beyond for using the program wrong. Funny thing is, exactly the thing I was complaining about (input validation, see earlier rant) is also exactly what no more than 5 minutes after release, a user fucked up with. The bot just does not respond at this point. But fuck these braindead retards for users.

In a few years I expect myself to be complaining about shitty compilers and buffer overflows, segmentation violations, bad coding style (don't make your program a fucking colander kthx), and so on.

Next decade I expect myself to be complaining about physics itself, and why the universe is governed by the laws it's governed by. Whoever this God is, he's a fucking retard. Funny thing is, the signs for it are already there. Electron theory! If only those electrons were positrons, then the math would check out properly. Instead of negative electrons traveling from negative to positive, we'd have positive positrons traveling from positive to negative. At least from what I understand so far, this is still a decade away after all.

The point I'm trying to make is that nothing changes, only my understanding of the world around me does, as I tumble further and further down the rabbit hole. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill... Either complain about others' software or perhaps not give a shit at all. Become one of those filthy users I now despise.

We have a long standing, transient, occasional error in our system that we haven't quite been able to (or have had the time to) pin down.

I was thinking out loud with our project lead what the cause could be, which - before I realized it - segwayed seamlessy into me being tasked with hotfixing it in order to unblock some other tasks that people expect to start working on tomorrow.

I think I'm starting to see why people use inanimate objects for rubber ducking instead of other devs. Here's hoping my theory checks out.

Another one of my job recruiter ranting posts

I couldn't add all of it in but they want a senior developer with 4 years of experience (which is I don't believe is senior worthy) but pay peanuts ($25 -$35, is not a lot in New Zealand)

I don't understand how companies can expect someone to be able to be in charge of all their development and expect to pay absolutely nothing, no wonder there are more companies that want to be contracted for work, then being tied down

Oh yeah and the recruiter couldn't even be bothered typing senior mobile developer, they just typed software developer.. fucking lazy

What a fucking joke...

You know what sucks?
Having birthday...Literally not an hour ago and nobody showing up...At least nobody who you really cared about. Only people around are there because they knew you some years ago and expect to get a free drink...

Wanna know what sucks even more??
Being heartbroken and even though you felt horrible because of that person it is my minute of the year and the most I wish is her being by my site. Caring about me and just wishing me happy birthday.

Definitely the worst birthday ever but at least I'm drunk so that's that.

I just wanted to get that off my chest. Bye and have a nice evening y'all.

FUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK ! Sorry I needed to let this out. I make extra hours since a few weeks and this only because 1. I'm the only dev of the team (will seriously need more people). 2. I have to manage people remotely which, as a 3 years old experienced dev, is not what I expect of my job. 3. I need to finish the job of an intern (not even her fault but de was asked to make powerpoints and stuffs instead of working on the module we need).

And today we just asked me if I can work on saturday. NO. I love (or used to?) my job but this can't last for ever.

The most scary stuff when changing jobs is not the fear if the code is spaghetti or not. It’s onboarding and how the company expect new devs to learn the domain.

When I joined the company I am working on, they did not have at all documentation in regards to domain knowledge. I had to ping devs who have been with the company for years so they can explain to me. Product Managers are useless. They can explain the ticket but cannot point me in the codebase and DB fields that that ticket needs to touch.

They would say to me “Ask what you don’t know “. MF, I don’t know what I don’t know. How am I supposed to come up with questions?

Cherry on top are JIRA “Stories”. It’s title and 1 sentence and it was expected of me to do the discovery.

Fast forward, there are still things that I am learning. I work in an industry that is very complicated and has a lot of information to take. I don’t get burned out of code and tasks. I get burned out of trying to understand my tickets and connect them with the code and DB.

Because of high gas price, the government decided to lower our tax.
For me it translates to additional EUR 11/month ☹.
This is after deductions of thousands of euros each months (tax and social contribution) from my hard-earned salary. How come nobody is complaining about this?

During my yearly review, I told my manager that I expect to see significant salary increase next year (the inflation is 9% duh!).
She told me that I can expect to get 20% increase after 3-4 years. ☹
Now I know why a lot of people are leaving. How can you expect your employer to stay put if you're constantly paying them under market rate?! I have to keep switching jobs every 4-5 years to get a decent pay, right? Yet society expect me to settle down and have a stable job.

And then, how come a PM earn significantly more than a regular dev? Even the job interview is much easier. But I like the technical part too much to switch to people management.

By no means, I am starving right now working as a dev. I am happy that I even have a job, but somehow I felt like what I do is pointless just being a wage slave, and felt demotivated in a lot of ways.

P.S.: I am writing this now in front of my work computer. I have to catch up some work to do otherwise I won't have time to do it during the weekdays 😔
Pray for me guys I can get better job within next year.

Working with a new team and I don't understand how this is normal or ok.

Me: Does anyone need help troubleshooting the broken build or can I revert this change that broke it so I can push my change out?

Dev: Stop build shaming me, I wouldn't leave the build in a failing state.

Me: Well, I wasn't sure how long to wait, before asking.... it's been broken for 4 hours.

Dev: It's the development environment, you should expect development to be going on.

Me: Yes and appears that this project architecture doesn't support any sort of isolation for development. So nobody can deploy anything except through the development branch.

Dev: That's what development is for IMO, so it doesn't bother me.

What in the planet do they expect me to do?

Wanted an iPhone badly since 2007, and I'm about to get one today.

What do you folks think? Is it garbage? Is it worth it? I just really want an SE. Really tired of meizu lags and freezes.

What to expect from iPhone? Are there some shocking downsides?

Treat software development like a trade. Because it is one.

Would you hire someone to build a shed for you if you needed to supply the hammer and saw and they needed to read a "How to Build Sheds" book to just get started? No, you wouldn't.

So why would you hire someone that doesn't have any kind of ready-to-go dev environment?

Why would you hire someone that doesn't understand the basics of this field?

Why do you expect employees to stop what they are doing and teach the new guy everything he should already know, or be able to figure out on his own based on his own experience?

Yeah so... I‘m an IT student and am supposed to have a certificate exam about software engineering RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT!
The person from the certificate place arrived half an hour late due to a delay of her flight.
That sucks alot because many students have other exams just after this one.

I always go one hour early to exams so even if 2 trains are delayed I will be there in time.
I would expect said person to do the same.

It gets even worse. We sit there expecting to start the exam half an hour late and guess what:
The distributed exam is not the one we are meant to take......... FOR FUCKS SAKE why did I even come here?!?!

My brain: Its a company that works with web technologies and the job is more of a devops job they wont expect you to know cpp compilation process.

Interviewer: Last question tell me in detail what happens when you compile a cpp program.

How on earth are there people in their second year of a computer science course who are unable to understand how to read build errors. It's honestly not that hard, just look at the fucking build log and see where the error is and what type of error it is, but yet they don't bother reading the log and say that their "compiler is broken" when their 5 line code won't work.

If this was still first year I'd understand since many of the class didn't have much programming knowledge, but if you're in your second year and you struggle with this (that too for a Hello World script) it looks like you aren't even bothered and just expect the computer to magically understand what you mean.

Thoughts on forced emergency support?

I am with a company I generally like a lot but there are some things I generally despise about it. Like forced emergency support.

I am not good at it, I don't claim to be.. I generally struggle with anxiety, stress and depression, I specifically avoid roles that require on-call service .. I'm a senior level software engineer.

I find it very frustrating to be expected to be on-call from 7-7 in support of infrastructure I did not architect, did not code and basically know nothing about. They provided me with a ten minute discussion about ops genie and where to find internal support articles for my training and that's about it.

Last night I received an ops genie alarm and acked it as I was instructed to do, I went around the system looking for the alarm cause and basically had no idea what to do except watch our metrics graphing praying there wouldn't be an outage. Fortunately the alarm was for our load balancer scaling operation, it was taking a bit longer than usual ... Sigh of relief. Stay up til 6am and fall asleep..

Wake up to a few messages from various people asking why I didn't do this and that and it took me every inkling of my being to remain cordial and polite but I really just wanted to scream and say a bunch of shit that would probably get me fired.

What the actual fuck?

Why expect someone that has no god damn clue what they are doing to do something like this? Fuckin shit training and no leadership to mentor me and help me get better at this role, no shadowing, no regiment ..

#confused and #annoyed

Thoughts? Am I a bitch? Is it unreasonable for me to expect my job duties stay in line with what I'm actually good at!?

Thanks.

[Hardware geeks, microcontroller geeks, please come]

Yet another Hacktoberfest tshirt...

Gotcha? (I bet you know who I am)

Just kidding. Just a random project idea I am not sure if it is possible to make from scratch.

It is essentially a usb external storage
About 32gb

And has a lcd that shows available storage space

And some buttons to play snake. (Yup)

Is it possible?

What should I expect when creating from scratch? (Microcontroller, c language, interfaces, etc)

const abc: string = 'Hi';

Can we take a moment to appreciate how retarded it is that TSlint throws a warning here that the string type is inferred and unnecessary.

I want to put the type there because it looks more readable. Code looks better if every variable has a type, irrespective of whether it's a constant. I know the fucking type is inferred you braggart linter bitch. What the fuck does it expect? A fucking award because it inferred that a string constant is of the fucking type string? How the ever loving fuck does that warrant a squiggly ass yellow warning line, reminiscent of that smartass 10 year old in class who has to yell out every answer when the teacher never asked a question.

On a more positive note, after reading that facebook set a ton posts and pictures to public "accidentally" - I finally deleted my near old age, never used facebook account, that I was tbh just too lazy to delete or thought I'd sometime have some value looking back to people I haven't talked to in multiple decades and couldn't give a flying fuck about

Before that I downloaded "all" (tbh what did I expect, there's not even a folder like "tagged in", which obv. is data they have too) the data they collected for the time, that I did use it and I am glad basically all creepy named folders had nothing in them, like e.g. phone call logs, since I never as far as I remember installed the app on my phones

btw: does somebody know what happened to @nanos? he seemed to have just disappeared

Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...

I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...

To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).

But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...

No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...

Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...

So, I was making a sort of "pre-autumn-cleaning" on some of my accounts (changing passwords, secret answers, canceling accounts/subscriptions, etc), when I arrive to devRant and go to the settings option just to found these options...

So... Really ಠ_ಠ? "Logout" and "Delete Account" are the only settings available via web browser?

I know that I can't expect the full range of settings that are present on the mobile app, but what the hell, I was expecting a little more than that...

So, by a cruel twist of fate I ended up on the front line of tech support for the app we've built. It's aimed at non-IT professionals, in general people who are not expected to know too much about computers but who should have at least two neurons to bash together in their pretty little heads.

No.

It really makes me drop my faith in humanity considerably. Clicking a confirmation link is too much. Filtering an excel sheet is too hard, despite it being their technically main work tool. Tickets are basically "shit's broken go fix". What is broken? How to reproduce it? Why do you expect the person on the other side of the screen to be a fucking diviner? I recently ran all out of dove guts to search for the answers of your questions.

Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.

Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.

Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.

Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.

And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?

FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.

And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.

I think JavaScript is like a woman...
- it thinks many many things at the same time and you never know the order in which those thoughts are appearing.
- it has moods, sometimes it just won't do something you expect just because
- you are never going to be 100% certain of what a response is going to be given a particular input

Can someone explain to me what sort of recruitments logic is this?

Me after giving interview: so when can i expect to get a call back about my results?

Recruiter: within a day or two. Definitely before X.

A few weeks after X...

Me: so, any update?
Recruiter: yes. Are you available now for the next round?

Me: .... Couldn't you have said that earlier???!! (in my mind)

!rant

Guys, I had my first REAL developer interview today. Without jinxing myself, I'd like to say it went really good. We discussed the companys upcoming projects, what they expect from a new developer, etc. but some thing that bothers me about it is there was never any discussion about my expected compensation. I'm not sure if this is common or not, but we'll see.

I was in a Meta workshop for PhD candidates, and they spoke about some of their programs. Meta is financing (paying the tuition fees + salary) for PhD students in Oxford and UCL. Could be interesting for people who wanted to go for a PhD in the UK but could not afford it because UK's higher education system sucks.
There was also a coding interview preparation session, and it was honestly nice to hear from them exactly what they expect from their candidates.
But maybe I have positive feeling about this event just because I went to a fucking Green Day concert an hour later, and it was the best day of my pitiful life.

I left class early today

I understand me and this kid are both students and both of us are still learning. But when he asks me to help him solve an issue I fucking expect him to listen then try what I’m saying unless he knows for certain that my idea won’t work

I don’t expect him to start ignoring the person HE asked for help to try things on his own and end up DELETING THE FUCKING GRADLE FOLDER because the 1.5.1 version of Android studio my teacher makes us use told him gradle was corrupt

I also didn’t expect him to tell the professor I didn’t tell him not to And them end up with the professor fucking assigning me to help him fix everything even though the kid won’t listen to me anyway refusing to just copy he java and XML to a new project so I grabbed my stuff and left Fuck that bullshit

I understand we’re both students and in the grand scheme of things we’re both idiots. But when I’m asked for help I expect the person to at least listen and not do something absolutely stupid like delete something we don’t understand how to fix

Now I’m making common sense a requirement to ask me for help I don’t need any extra stress I’ll deal with the consequences of walking out tomorrow But I can’t say I regret it

If you expect someone to help you with your errors/bugs, at least get some proper logs and explain what you tried that didn't work. Don't just spam them with pictures of errors or "something is wrong. Please fix".

I've seen people taking pics of their monitors. Half the code is eligible due to the glare -_-. At least take the effort of posting your code somewhere and sharing a link. GitHub would be the best go IMO

Luckily I don't work at a place like this anymore, but I sure hate it when a company touts that they are an effective company who has implemented agile "the right way", then when they describe their process in detail, it is almost exactly the opposite of what agile is supposed to be.

I've worked for a couple places that just couldn't get their head around the fact that one of the reasons agile exists is because estimating software is hard, and only after doing agile the real right way for an extended period of time can a company expect to have realistic estimates. The business can't go a week without hard deadlines.

I get the whole anger at robinhood and the stock market, I really do.

But on the other hand - what did you expect? A bunch of people on Reddit could *genuinely* cause hedge funds to lose billions without them pulling strings to fight back?! They don't care if it's illegal or immoral. They know the worst they'll get is a fine that's way, way less than they stand to make.

Don't get me wrong, the anger here is justified completely. The surprise however, that's really not.

Ok. Sap is a cool rompany, right? Im at a coding camp at it. The final challenge will be presented to the parents and the saps ceo. BUT YO U ONLY GIVE ME FUCKING 5 HOURS TO CODE IT??? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS? YOU EXPECT ME TO USE A RANDOM ALGO OR WHAT??? I WANTED TO IMPLEMENT A ROOMBA ALGO, BUT WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!rant
protip == true

TL_DR = "exec mail ceo jeff@amazon.com"

The laziness of devs, including myself, goes hand-in with the crazy deliveries (groceries, etc) that Amazon delivers without having to leave home.

But...Amazon isn't prefect, occasionally I have issues and usually support is great. But when support isn't what you expect and you're more frustrated than before, send an email response and include jeff@amazon.com

And no, I don't work there... I'm just happy my issue was resolved and I got a nice credit added to my account. (Mileage may vary)

Social interactions. Made me realize what people expect from an application. Earlier I didn't have end user perspective and used to design complicated GUIs with too many technical words. Now I make simple and easy to use UI with instructions that can be understood by non-devs too.

I don't mind helping but puuuuuuleeeeeease learn from what I have been teaching. Flex your brain and give me your initial ideas instead of waiting to be given the answer. I need to know you are learning and you are critically thinking the error. I don't expect you to be right but I expect you to at least try. Please try!

@linuxFanboys
I'm getting a Chromebook, and, obviously, I'd rather wget all my webpages before I use chrome as my main os. so any recommendations for distros? I want a good, smooth ui, kinda like what windows was aiming for but so terribly messed up. I want apt package manager, and I wouldn't mind pentesting tools, and it has to be light enough to use on a computer with 4gb ram and 16gb ssd. I assume it's implied with linux, but I want one that's generally consider to be secure. I plan to run android studio (I expect it to be slower than a commodore 64 running windows 10), eclipse, gcc, if that helps. any suggestions? thanks!

Wait, What!

Fresh Grad job fair.

Looking for computer programmers with 3 years experience.

*seriously company how can you expect to get an applicant with 3 years experience in this fair 'insert confuse gif here'

You know what? FUCK Australian employers. I know they'd be damn fucking lucky to have me on their team.

I just finished working on something that I made several years ago (what I raised funds for in my previous rant), I then took it a step further and automated the process [if some things], and now I have my own software finding me new leads and sending them to me via email and push notifications.

With a little bit of tweaking maybe, and a little bit of time, I expect to find some new clients again.

DevRant has increased my asshole-ery. Reading work design docs and I keep thinking, "really? That's your choice? Obviously this is a joke. You expect us to do what?? In what timeframe?"

Remember my friends

Fuck 2019. I still have one photo of 1/1/2019 on my instagram profile as my first photo with hopes to achieve what i was planning to achieve. But life happened. Things went wrong. Murphy's fucking law took over. Fuck you

Start fresh 2020. Learn from the mistakes. Expect more mistakes because they are inevitable. But do your best to NOT repeat the old ones.

We are going into the new decade. No more 201X year.

-Delete all negative energy
-Cleanse all BULLSHIT
-Remove everything weighting you down
-DETACH FROM THE PARASITE PEOPLE
-Stay with the real people
-Stay with family

2 more weeks until 2020

🙏🙏🙏

This supposed to be a rant but I have no words to describe in how big fucking mess I am right now while looking for a new workplace...
It’s most unorganized experience that I am part of...
It’s worse then looking for lost key using bare hands in a shit hole....

With last one at least you know what to expect and you have some chances to make some decisions. The hiring otherwise it’s like lottery...

There are no words to describe it.
Fuck...

Let everyone looking for a job right now have my condolences...

If you're working on close to hardware things, make sure you run static analysis, and manually inspect the output of your compiler if you feel something's off - it may be doing something totally different from what you expect, because of optimization and what not. Also, optimizations don't always trigger as expected. Also, sometimes abstractions can cost a fair amount too (C++ std::string c/dtor, for example, dtors in general), more than you'd expect, and in those cases you might want to re-examine your need for them.

Having said all that, also know how to get the compiler to work for you, hand-optimization at the assembly level isn't usually ideal. I've often been surprised by just how well compilers figure out ways to speed up / compactify code, especially when given hints, and it's way better than having a blob of assembly that's totally unmaintainable.

Learnt this from programming MCUs and stuff for hobby/college team/venture, and from messing around with the Haskell compiler and LLVM optimization passes.

After I took some time off from work, I decided to accept the offer for maintenance of two projects. Those are from two old clients, so I think I will not stress too much, since I know what to expect most of the time.

The issue is, sometimes I have a hard time to keep concentration. In the past, I could work for 3h straight, totally focused, would pause for 20min for stretch, and then come back to work. Now I can only focus for 30min or 1h, and after a pause, it's hard to concentrate again.

There is a lot going on in my life right now, and I know the worry is probably distracting me. I'm trying to listen instrumental music, drinking coffee... But that's not enough. Somebody has any tip?

Spending the day sending emails back and forth with your client because they can't be bothered to prepare a single overview of what properties the endpoint expects, and instead expect you to piece it together from 6 PDFs of which at least 2 contain contradicting information, another is outdated, and the last one seems to have been exported from word and is missing half the content.

Fun times!

Good News: WordPress has decided to update its embedded jQuery version to the latest as of Version 5.0

Bad News: Decided to look up what else to expect with that update, find out the Gutenberg editor is on its way to replace the TinyMCE editor, and will be sweeping meta boxes away along with it...

This will definetly be an unpopular rant but god damn it I hate to work with untreated depressed people. It's fucking nearly impossible to convince them to try out something new. They are always pessimistic or think that they know everything. They don't care about new things happening around them. Every time in work when we encounter some obstacle it looks like the world has ended for them and every god damn time I need to give pep talks to them like we are in some war and I feel like I need to inspire soldiers to fight even though they are 100% convinced that they will die.

Im done with being a therapist for them. I don't have unlimited amounts of tolerance and energy, I am a human also. I can't keep sugarcoating what I see and I can't continue walking like on eggshels just because somebody is too weak to even take a constructive criticism without becoming passive agressive for days or weeks. I realized that their negative pessimism has started to rub off on me and I think it's time to put an end to this.

Please if you have depression get some help, don't expect that new workplace or employer will motivate you enough to turn your life around. Don't expect that putting on a mask will actually hide who you are and that your condition will not impact others around you in work. Just stop pretending and get some actual help. Start from yourself.

I have to finish team project within 13 weeks. Since most of my team mates are quite new to programming, I took first steps along with leader to make tasks as simple as possible for them. 2 weeks into the project and one of the members complains that she doesn't understand her task. So both me and leader tried to explain task to her. I guess we couldn't make it simpler. However she insisted that she will have to see our teacher. Ok, why not? So we are waiting for her magnificence to show so she can be officially dropped from the team and give her place to someone more competent.

WHY SHE EXPECT TO DO HER PART (OF LITERALLY CONSTRUCTING ONE FUCKING CLASS) FOR HER. AND SHE CALLS HERSELF A DEVELOPER!

Well, at least I did my part today to make a world better place :)

What about your experiences with working in teams?

I would like to call out the moron who decided to control docker through HTTP when the maximum time the server can take to finish the task is longer than the HTTP timeout.
If you expect things might time out, you don't use a HTTP request. You use a resource and poll it, or Websockets, or possibly SSE.
Shoehorning your API into a frame that obviously doesn't fit doesn't help anyone. Just admit that you don't know what HTTP is and use a regular TCP socket with regular pings.

How the fuck does that retard Zuckerberg manage to spend this much money on his metaverse and hardly have anything to show for? What are the developers actually working on? I mean, if you had that many people working that long on something you'd expect at least a product that looked all right, even if no one wanted to use it?!

I bet you could put a team of 20 top shelf developers, designers, QA and project managers together and give them 2 years to build almost anything we see today. A facebook clone, a Twitter clone, some sort of virtual reality look-at-my-perfect-but-empty-life-click-to-like piece of social shit-verse.. What the hell are they spending their time on?!!

My elementary IT teacher whom I owe all my enthusiasm to introduced me to MIT Scratch, and I found the concept of chaining dumb operations to accomplish tasks fascinating. Later I learned c++ which I hated vehemently for a couple months until it clicked. After that I studied C#, which I managed to use for over a year before realising what copy by reference actually means. With that realization my understanding of programming languages was essentially complete and since then I have only learned techniques and tricks and languages that add few new ideas, and I don't expect anything to fundamentally change my understanding of programming. All of that was 5 years ago BTW.

As a fresh graduate in Hong Kong, majoring in information engineering. I still don't know how to explain what my major related to... And don't even expect me to know any node , react , angular, docker, etc...

In my new job I'm supposed to get a macbook.

I've never used a mac but I'm a long time Linux PC user.
What should I expect/note?

I know many teachers are very emotional about technology as I've heard here.

My English teacher got next to me to ask what text editor I was using for writing a movie review. I was using VSCode and writing Markdown. He was like cool, smart. Didn't get it, but agreed.
I didn't expect that.

Quite a few years ago (late 90s, early 00s maybe) I remember watching a TV show where they demonstrated what virtual reality might be like. It was all rough polygons, no lighting or texturing etc.

I'd heard about the Oculus Rift and considered trying it. I get motion sickness sometimes from certain 3D games (Deus Ex, Portal, sometimes even Minecraft) so was hesitant. Last week, decided to just get one and see how it went.

Didn't expect it to be as good as it is - compared to what was envisaged ~20 years ago. No motion sickness. Not only was the graphics detail amazing but the responsiveness is insane. In another 20 years time what will there be?

Anyway on dev topic: Now it makes me want to play with a 3D/VR engine. Considering Unreal Engine but not really sure where to start learning. Maybe a book? Though reviews tend to say they go out of date quick, I do prefer a physical book for learning tech stuff.

techmmm, comes, selects me off a 5 min interview for an internship. The guy i am talking doesnt know half of the things i am talking about, dont know why they put such people up for these jobs.
After getting selected,
No stipend cos “quarantine”
No laptops nothing cos “quarantine times”
No fucking respect either
Asks us to join if we want to or leave, note that this is before we even asked any of these questions.
Expects us to work for 8 fucking hours everyday build a project for them which will make them a lot of money and the credit will probably be given to some idiot employee.
Cant even complain to the college about this, bitch i have slogged a lot these past years you cant expect me to join a company which offers a ppo less than the monthly saalry of other companies and still have a dont care attitude.
Idc what anyone says noone is learning shit after joining. Why do you have this attitude man, what great are you offering.

So I'm studying at a university where everyone who studies electronics has to do the same "internship" where we have to program some microcontroller.
For most of us it is the first time programming with pointers and working with the register (C++). But the institute who does this shitty internship manages to FUCK up the class description and even the classes and methods they give you.

In the class description there are methods missing so you have no idea what they want you to do with that method and then they write stuff in the class description that aren't in the class and you don't need. For fucks sake how can you fuck up such a simple task.

And then their shitty template is wrong. If you expect your students to do well please for fucks sake make sure you give your students the correct classes and descriptions. Many students won't fucking know what is wrong because the never programmed in C++. The best part is that they are doing this "internship" for more than 5 years.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? So if this duck is not giving you the noise that you want, you’ve got to just punch that duck until it returns what you expect. -Patrick Ewing

As an interviewer or a senior software engineer who would want to hire someone new to your team, would you expect a person with a solid grasp of algorithms or a person who has good experience in the stack you are using? If both, what would be your priority?

You know what really cheeses my onions? When people write their code in a foreign language, say French or Spanish, and then come to me asking why it doesn’t work. Like, mate, how you expect me to be able to make sense of your code if your variable naming is totally foreign? And it looks horridly out of place to boot.

Moral of the story: Write your code in English and save us the headache.

proxying youtube

today I thought writing a quick project, a youtube proxy server, as in, you browse localhost:<PORT> and youtube comes in the response.

this is not rocket science as proxy servers have around for a long time.

I thought it'd be interesting to code it in userland, as opposed to "systemland".

And 50 lines of code and some minor hurdles later I see youtube "running" in localhost.

Although youtube didn't just work as usual since the videos don't actually come from youtube.com, but from googlevideo.com instead. And my browser, expectably, enforces CORS and forbids any requests to it.

At that point I started to think of ways to somehow proxy googlevideo.com too. But the solutions are not at all trivial.

Then I thought what was the payoff of all this. I tried to proxy serve youtube out of curiosity, and sure thing, you can do it.

But what problem would proxying youtube solve? Maybe I should think in a fuller way what are the problems I have with youtube.

One issue I have is the exposure, discoverability. To explain it, let's say I have been watching a very, very big amount of videos as of today.

Personally I would expect youtube to understand very well by now what my tastes are, what do I want to watch and what I do NOT want to watch.

Notice that I am very black and white, and I do not have much interest in watching certain types of videos.

It could be true that if my expectations of how youtube should work became reality then youtube recommendations would become polarizing or echo chambering.

But that is my decision though, and the problem with youtube is that it's seemingly forcing a single recommendations algorithm onto everyone.

Some people are more open minded and want to watch EVERYTHING, and a lot of people don't.

But users aren't deciding what they should get recommended. Youtube is making that decision for them. And it sure feels like it's trying to maximize ad revenue.

I for one don't give two flying fucks about pranks or diva youtubers. Yet youtube is adamant in presenting some of these to me.

Now, trying to come up with a solution for this is really non trivial. It would definitely require some youtube mining, or some kind of network so as to not get rate limited when mining, and even then you still have to think of how a good recommendation system would work.

I think the implementation of all that would be too much for me (time and skill wise). But I think it's fun to at least try to outline how recommendations could work.

I would very much prefer that when youtube recommended something, at least it has some number of confidence meaning how much would I like that video, so at least I know what to expect.

It should also have some indicators like what is the mood of the video. As in, sometimes I watch youtube in the mood of learning, like programming videos, but most of the time I watch to get entertained.

These ideas are just brainstorms and could be terrible on reproduction, but I'd like to hear what ideas can some of the people here can come up with.

If you can see yourself experimenting with an early alpha programming language to provide feedback and perhaps contribute, what feature would you expect from the get go? (Up)Vote in comments, add if missing

When I began my career, I always thought everyone in the IT-sector loved their Jobs (except a few people who didn't fit in of course) - 10 years later I've met a lot of people who hated their jobs but didn't just quit it (no kids, no wife, no responsibilities at all) - what do you guys think about this?

Personally, I'm looking for a job where I can put my heart into and which has got a meaning for me (haven't found it yet and I don't expect to do in a short time) because everything else makes no sense to me.

Lately programs have been crashing a lot on my pc, I've tried different things like disabling SWAP for a sec, BIOS changes, remove firefox and use Google Chrome, try different commands, it kept happening.

Obviously along the way I started investigating what was causing these crashes, looking through bug reports and my syslog. There was no consistency, except for 1 thing: SIGENV. Everything that crashed had a segmentation fault, now I'm not an expect and I don't know what this means or how to fix it, so I went to Google to ask for answers.

Then I downloaded memtest and ran a memory test, error palooza. Then I went to Windows and ran memory check, error palooza.

This is week 3 of this high-end gaming pc which was a huge investment AND IT HAS BEEN FUCKING WITH ME BECAUSE OF BAD MEMORY HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN I ALMOST STARTED TO DOUBT UBUNTU BUT IT WAS A FUCKING FAULT IN BRAND NEW MEMORY MODULES WHAT THE FUCK.

Obviously I'm pissed off. Today I'm gonna call the store that assembled it to voice my complaints.

Thank you for listening to my TedTalk.

I just recalled I once had to explain to my CTO what’s the difference between stack and heap memory

It baffled me a little bit, but contrary to what one might perhaps expect, this was a guy who was already making a living off of programming for about ten years selling his software to various clients, so he was clearly competent enough to create software that works, and he had in fact put this startup on its feet operationally with it already being profitable before outside investments were secured

And here I was with my theoretical CS knowledge making zero bucks before getting this job

Finished my contracting project I’ve been working on for the last 2 months. They said that they might have more after the new year. I get two weeks off! Contracting is great until you don’t have any contracts… or they pay you a month late… or they don’t tell you what to do and expect you to do it…

!rant
What can you expect to earn at your first IT/dev job in your country (e.g. junior dev after graduating)?

What do seniors usually get?

So our Chief Test Engineer left the company because of overwhelming frustration and stress. We working on new stuffs so we test our partly done product with partly done test tool developed be another of our team. His successor started to drop most of the 3rd party tools and workflows and documentations to trash expect this one unfinished test software.
Now he wants that we add more features to this software so it can replace everything he trashed already: run tests, generate test reports, generate documentations and so on.
On top of that he organized a workshop to read all this software's source code together, understand how it's works so we can rewrite the whole software from scratch.
WHAT?!

Seriously though, since so many devs I know rant about their QA / test engineers, what would your ideal Test engineer look like?!

I mean sometimes I feel like devs expect test engineers to write them their unit tests too...

Best boss ever. He gave me light working hours, i could ask for a day off whenever i wanted or leave early if i needed to. Never felt like a slave working for him and always felt respected and valued. Taught me basically most of what i know today and introduced me to some awesome games. Never bored me with formal speech. Come to think of it hes more of a friend. If the company was doing a bit better financially i would never had left. Obviously i dont expect to ever have a boss as good as him in the years to come.

what the fuck I can't edit the rant after 5 minutes I am fucking posting a new rant which have that last rant ...Why they update the fucking x code in every fucking 15 days . Well some libraries are deprecated oh cool I can use my shit as an object. And why third party libraries don't provide some good documentation of their sdk's . What the fuck is that and I will personally kill auto layout by entering in the mac myself. What is the use of that fucking debugging tool if I know don't the crap of my code that in which class I have done something terribly wrong what the fuck . Oh cool I am having that clang error and I don't know how to wipe my ass. And please fucking don't tell me to use xib code in xcode for my project if there will be 600 screens I will still fucking use storyboard for that. I don't fuck with xib files do you hear me. And fucking stackoverflow ..what the fuck is wrong if I forget an single comma during posting a question ..what the fuck..and you know what the real feeling is when I post a issue on stackoverflow and I got nothing from them expect some minus points...and then the holy fucking coder inside me tells me to solve that fucking problem and I feel like having dope bitch. FUCCKKKK..

unreal engine is soooo much fun! You set a reference pose for vr motion controllers and expect them to have positions relative to it, and also expect them to be right in front of you. Well, no, they go completly wonkers and get beautiful positon values of 23874 2387236 2032938 which is way out of the world. IN WHAT FKING UNIVERSE DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENCE?!
Just because I parented them to a a scene object way within my character?! WHAT THE FK I followed the nice tutorials. What is this BS and why is it so fked up!!!

does anyone else feel awkward when getting thanked for just doing their damn job?

that's what you're paying me for and that's what you should expect me to do

Since everyone rants about interviews, I think that's the perfect time to ask this.
In a week, I'm going to have my first interview.
Its for an apprenticeship as "Fachinformatiker für Systemintegration".
For the non-german speakers, pretty much sysadmin,server-engineer, sometimes internal tech-support.

The company isn't a tech-company, but a logistics-company.
The interview will be done by the boss of the company's location and the lead of the IT-department.

So, what should I expect, what questions and such ?

How the hell do I understand want people want???

I listen to them, I pay attention to them (for the most part), but for the most part when someone assigns me something but it is not clearly explained, they expect me know what to do.

I had the most unproductive meeting with this guy I work for because of this... he had a problem, so we worked on ideas for this solution, and I thought I knew exactly what he wanted. We were getting somewhere. I get ready to leave for lunch and it turns out that is not at all what he wanted. We're back to square one.

Is it me, or are people really bad at explaining things?

How hard it is percieved by management to do something in code is proportional to whether or not it's a task that sales or the CEO wants, versus what the developers need. Developers want to rewrite something, or fix infrastructure? Too much work can't justify it. Sales wants to clone Google Search? We'll expect it by next month.

Sitting in a meeting. PM asks if we can go with the schedule management has agreed with the customer.
So, now what do you expect us to say? We can say no, but if it's already settled up the hierarchy levels, it will not have any effect.

Have a question about company (startup) stocks.

I’m going to work in a startup and build a product I actually believe in. I’ll be vague, but it’s environment focused for profit platform. Anyways, I’ll be the first software engineer. They’ve just hired a CTO.

I loved talking with the CEO and he assured me that the stock options will definitely not be symbolic.

What can I expect? What’s too little or too much? I’ve never received stocks from any kind of company.

Excited though.

So here I am with just 4 nights left at my disposal, in which I have to make a Major project worth 10 credits for my college degree and simultaneously prepare for my oncoming exams... You might think what was I doing all these days then!

Well did I mention I was busy contributing to Open source community (mozilla to be precise) which I enjoyed doing more than I would like to cram things up for my exams and do major project which my teachers expect to be an out of the box idea.
F@#$! Education system

New to the community...what can I expect here?

So I went into work yesterday on my day off right? (Mardi Gras) to finish up a pretty significant addition to our application. I only had 2 days to work on it before we were to show it off to potential buyers today, so I came in to get it to at least a working state that we can improve later...

Well, that wasn't good enough. First thing my boss said when he saw it was, "this isn't what we had talked about". No dip-shit, this is what you get when you have 1 programmer working on their holiday. Like, I know we talked about this massive content update, but we talked about LITERALLY LESS THAN A WEEK AGO. I really don't know what you expect, but I made it very clear that all I could get done was a prototype at best. Not to mention that this whole app is a hard-coded "fake-prototype" that was never supposed to make it this far....

deciding at what point to release the beta of your software. you will always find thing you think need to be in there before launch but it never ends and have to bite the bullet and expect some complaints. I planned on launching 3 months ago :(

10 hours ago I was trying to install manjaro on my laptop. I have run into problems with the nvidicancer drivers, as one would expect, but at least I had a working OS. I was following a video tutorial that instructed me to tweak some grub settings, and I was able to do it with no problem.

Now on the other hand, I am following the EXACT SAME procedure (same partition, same installer, same settings),but after I update-grub,everything freezes including the command itself.

How is it possible that doing the exact same procedure at different times of the day gives me two different results? Is my laptop sentient and simply "not in the mood" anymore, or what the fuck?

What would you expect the position of “programmer analyst” to entail?

Anything from Udemy with instructors who don't speak CLEARLY, and instructors who fail to provide solid code explanations (ex: they just type some shit and expect us to understand what it's doing, and they move onto the next topic).

Add instructors who pretty much copy a tutorial verbatim - they just go through someone else's tutorial (without referencing the authors' work) and claim it as their own.

I'm sure I have more to add, but I'll stop here. :P

I just realized the problem I have with my team is that a lot of people don't seem to be any smarter than computers..

Usually when i tell someone to do something, I tell them overall goal and give them a general direction, the first step I would do. And well then tell them to go work out the details from there or come back to me if they have a **specific** problem.

1 month later I check back in and they're like I emailed ..., Still waiting for them to reply.

/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻

Can't you be a little more resourceful or creative, try looking for another way... Human....

I understand that, at least for now, I still need to tell computers exactly what to do and how handle errors...

But you're not a computer and the whole point of telling you to do something is I expect you to use your brain and think for yourself when something unexpected happens...