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Today I learned:
`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”
`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”
Had no idea.30 -
Interviewing a junior dev.
> Make this function return false.
> junior: deleted all code in function replaces it with return false;
Literally no words.........20 -
What advice would I give a new dev?
"Learn COBOL"
No one specified that it had to be 'good advice'7 -
Tech Industry: “We need more developers!”
NewDev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced developers please! We don’t have time to train juniors ”
Older Dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “no, you want too much money and too much time off“
Mid dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “only experienced devs who are a culture fit!”
Robot dev: “Hire me”
Tech Industry: “You are Hired”10 -
Frontend & backend dev conversation
Backend Dev: what will you be working on?
Frontend dev: i will be creating a nice animated loader. You?
Backend Dev: i will be working on optimizing the backend so that no one can see your loader.
🤣🤣🤣🤣7 -
Me and my dev boyfriend went camping the other day in the middle of nowhere in Chile. Before entering the campsite we agreed no dev talk on the hike and then the moment we arrive we get the 0th tent platform. We looked at each other and chuckled our way into the tent 😂
#relationshipGoals
10 -
Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:
Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *8 -
Me: We should change the http response code to anything but 200 OK in the error response case of our API.
Other dev: No, it's fine.
Me: Why?
Other dev: The client successfully receives an error message.
Me: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻15 -
the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃12
-
This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.
11 -
Manager: This button is too dark, you need to lighten it. Have you no sense of design?
Dev: …
Dev: Hows this for an adjustment?
Manager: Wayyyyy too light now, jesus you need glasses if you think that’s good.
Dev: …
Dev: How about now?
Manager: It’s close, make it just a little more dark. God why does this have to take so long, do I have to hold your hand through this entire process!
Dev: …
Dev: There that good?
Manager: Yes that’s perfect! Send me a PR immediately so I can approve, we need to get this out ASAP, it’s critical!!
Dev: I can’t.
Manager: ????
Dev: There’s no diff, you had me gradually adjust the colour back to exactly what it was originally.
Manager: THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE IT LOOKS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS, I HAVE A MEETING I NEED TO GET OFF TO BUT WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS LATER ABOUT THIS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR.
Dev: …16 -
Dev: boss, there are some abnormalities and confusion in the client's specifications.
Boss: So?
Dev: Shouldn't we get clear about them and then start coding?
Boss: No need. We assume and code. Then show them to our clients and then ask for their opinions. We will change again according to their opinion.
Dev: ..
A few months later....
Dev: *seeing so many specifications change and realizing now have to refactor a lot of codes* , FML.15 -
!dev
Knocked over a beer bottle with my hand and caught it mid-flight.
Felt like a fucking ninja.
No clue why I'm sharing this but goddamn that was good.3 -
Me: Hey Google, open devrant
Google: Results for dev brand
Me: open devrant
Google: Results for dev hand
Me: No! open "dev" "rant"
Google: Results of some dude named Dev Randhawa
Me: Dammit open devrant
Google: Dewa rent? Electricity bill paying sites of some town called dewa.
Me: Open d.e.v.r.a.n.t
Google: Opens Google play song from Kevin Durant.
Me: gives up and listens to Kevin Durant sing some shit about LeBron James.10 -
"A picture is worth a thousand words"
No one knows the pain of that more than a front end dev trying to reduce load times of a web page.4 -
Me: hey dev, my in-app purchase isn't reflected on other phones with your app
Dev: *cricket noises*
About a week later...
Google Play: an update for this app is available
20 minutes later...
Dev: nope, that isn't an issue.
You updated the app minutes ago after being silent for so long. No mention of it being fixed in the changelog, no mention of it being fixed in the reply.. nothing. But I'll eat my hat if you didn't silently add it in and shoved it under the rug. Dickhead.
At least the issue doesn't exist.. anymore.
Please don't be like that...6 -
Dev: Hey, do we have a Google cloud machine running?
Me: No we have AWS remember?
Dev: Okay..
Me: Why do you want a gCloud?
Dev: I had this large stack of files and want to put them somewhere, off of my laptop. I just feel comfortable using Google than AWS.
Me: Umm.. there is Dropbox for that sort of stuff. Not high performance servers running our services.
Dev: ...
Dev: (After a moment) Yeah, why didn't I think of that? :/
Me: Seriously???
I think he forgot to have breakfast today.18 -
Dev: Ok issue fixed, you just need to log out and back in again on your end to receive the fix
User: It’s still not working
Dev: Did you log out and in again?
User: No why would I want to do that?
Dev: It’ll reset your locally saved login information which is causing the issue
User: I thought you said the issue was fixed?
Dev: On our end yes, we just need you to reset your end in order to receive the fixed version
User: Look I have been dealing with this issue for 6 months. Fixing bugs are your responsibility. I have too much to do, you have to get this fixed. *click*.
Dev: Yeah you submitted the bug ticket yesterday night though
Email from users manager later that day: <User> is saying you are refusing to fix this bug. This is unacceptable. Fix it or else I will escalate this. Also there are other bugs we noticed today too, fixing them is absolutely critical!
Dev: …
Dev: What other bugs did you notice?
*no response for 2 weeks and then:
User: Hey you can close this ticket, the issue seems to have resolved itself.
Dev: ….muppet.17 -
Interviewer: So are you familiar with our company and what we do?
Dev: I looked at your website, looks like you build tools for managing restaurants.
Interviewer: No. That’s not even close.
Dev: ?
Interviewer: What we do is create an ecosystem of integrated data centres all orchestrated for immediate stakeholder utilization.
Dev: But the product itself…. it’s a user interface for tracking inventory. Of like…. burgers…. and bottles of wine.
Interviewer: It’s not a product! It’s a data……habitat!!
Dev: …
Dev: So does that make your users animals?
Interviewer: 😡. Unfortunately it looks like you do not see our vision and would not be a good fit for this role.
Dev: Agreed.27 -
Life story of every Dev in nutshell :
Everything is working perfectly as expected and no body congratulates Dev and no one gives a shit.
Single thing is broken and the whole universe be like : "Where the fuck is that son of a b*tch? Bring that bastard in front of me right now."
😡😡😡😡6 -
Wanna try your luck?
OH HELL NO! xD
(don't try at home kids 😂😂😂)
#!/bin/bash
if [[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ]]; then
for f in /dev/sd*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
for f in /dev/nv*; do
dd if=/dev/zero of=$f
done
else
echo "Lucky guy"
fi
9 -
QA just asked me, why does the website look so ugly and no CSS is working on Internet Explorer
I'm lucky I'm not the web dev lol
*I laughed*
*IE laughed*
*Windows laughed*9 -
Management: This project isn’t moving along fast enough, you know what we need?
Dev: An additional dev?
Management: No! An additional manager! We’ll have a meeting about it later today.
Dev: …7 -
Real conversation:
dev 1: so what are you working on these days?
dev 2: some wordpress project.
dev1: hahaha. wordpress is shit. are you a real developer?
dev 2: have you ever used wordpress?
dev1: no.
dev2: okay.26 -
I left the military to become a dev. With no degree and no professional experience. It's safe to say they thought I was crazy. But now it's safe to say they are proud of me.18
-
Mac: Hello welcome please sign in
Dev: Fair enough
Mac: Oh you haven’t signed in in awhile please get get verification from other device
Dev: kk
Mac: Oh you don’t have a dev account, please sign in on this website
Dev: Hm.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account you need to download this app
Dev: ???
Mac: Are you sure you want to open this app you just downloaded?
Dev: Sigh.
Mac: In order to sign up for a dev account on this app you need to sign into it
Dev: For the love of god
Mac: Ok now you can build with Xcode.
Xcode: No you can’t. You have to sign in
Dev: fuck sakes.
Mac: Are you sure you want Xcode to access files on your computer?
Dev: …Yup
Xcode: Signing in isn’t enough you have to select the fact you are signed in a dropdown nested 3 menus deep.
Dev: God damn.
Xcode: Build failed please sign in to phone as well.
Phone: New sign in detected, please verify with alternative device.
Dev: Jesus.
Xcode: Build success! Pushing to iPhone.
Dev: Finally.
Xcode: Unknown error occurred. Please go to support.apple.com for help. :)
Dev: …20 -
Interviewer: Hello I’m calling for your phone interview now
Dev: You’re about an hour early calling but I can accommodate
Interviewer: Well it’s more convenient for me to do it now
Dev: …Alrighty then.
Interviewer: So I am from HR 😇*pause for effect*
Dev: …
Interviewer: Um, typically candidates start the interview by thanking me for consideration for this role.
Dev: Your job description was very vague so I don’t really know what I would be thanking you for.
Interviewer: 😡. It’s me that’ll be determining whether or not to pass you on to The Management.
Dev: …The Management?
Interviewer: Yes 🤗.
Dev: I’m no longer interested *click*.13 -
!dev
I never mix my personal and professional life. But I've totally lost that ability today.
She said no! 😶19 -
I'm a backend dev, but i often have to imagine and create the design since there's no designer at my office 😵😱
So far, i hate him!(me)4 -
PM : Have you finished the login issues?
Me, junior dev: No mister.
PM: Why not? You're going to delay the sprint.
Me: The other PM told me not to do it.
When you're the only dev in a project with two managers, life suddenly feels like you're back to 5 years old with your parents arguing all the time.6 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
There was a time when the programming gods starting creating IDEs for their languages. And all obeyed that whenever the dev presses enter on an intellisense menu , the grace of the programming gods would help the dev. But VB rebelled. It was too much for him to spoon feed the dev, so he said to himself "NO MORE SHALL THEY PRESS ENTER AND HAVE THE GODS MAKE MAGICAL TEXT APPEAR! NO NO, TAB IT WILL BE, AND I'LL WATCH THEM BURN WHENEVER THEY TRY TO USE INTELLISENSE ON ME". And since then, VB has seen frustrations of devs beyond count.4
-
!dev
So my housemate bought a violin. Gone are the days of quiet programming.
(No he is not some kind of virtuoso, even a woodpecker would play it better.)8 -
Today @ 4pm:
New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.
Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?
New dev: ... no
Me: ... why?
New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know
Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?
New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.
Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried13 -
Manager: I like nested ifs
Dev: They can be difficult to maintain
Manager: No they aren’t I write them all the time!
Dev: Have you ever maintained one?
Manager: No, I don’t do code maintenance. I don’t have time for it.5 -
Support: A customer complained about a nasty bug.
Senior Dev: There are no bugs in our software, just challenges that need to be solved.2 -
Android and Full Stack dev here. Also first post.
No boss, i won't call that client to tell him how to configure ssl for his Outlook.9 -
Oh, that feeling when you learn the entry level dev, with no useful knowledge, gets paid more than you...
Priceless...4 -
How to be the Dev with no friends
Say:
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now14 -
My Friends say i´m no dev...
Why???? :(
I love do Sports,
I have free time,
I´m eating healthy,
I don't like coffee....10 -
"We want a perfect PHP dev"
... yea, and he will produce shitcode like
switch(true) {
case 1 < 2:
...
case $a == $b:
...
}
no thx5 -
Lead dev: Hey boss, you really do like Python right?
Me: No
Lead dev: Well it's cuz I was think....wait what? WTF do you mean no, you have automated a fuckload of BS with Python and we are still using it, why tf would you use Python if you don't like it?
Me: I like it enough for the automation scripts that we have and for parsing documents or generating glue scripts, its already installed in every server that we have, so testing bs in dev and then using them in prod is cake, it doesn't mean I LOVE python, I like it for what we use it.
Lead dev: Well ain't already bash and perl installed as well?
Me: Do you know bash and or perl?
Lead dev: No, don't you?....
Me: No......
L Dev: (using a Jim Carrey impersonation) WELLL ALLRIGTHY THEN! What is the other language that you used for X project?
Me: Clojure, do you remember that one?
* he said paren paren paren paren yes paren i space paren do close paren close paren etc etc
L Dev: (((((((yes (i (do)))))))) and nevermind, I'll get back to working more with Python
Me: das what I fucking thought esse6 -
That moment you realise why you enjoy the dev life again.
It's been a long time since I've had a solid day of coding, just coding..., no meetings, no wild requests, no crazy issues, no data fixing because someone can't type a number correctly, just me, myself and that keyboard going on a field trip of quality coding time again.
Ah, it's a good day to end the week on!3 -
It today's team meeting my manager asked, "What is GitHub?"
Seven years leading the group. Hired with no dev knowledge. Can't be bothered to acquire any.14 -
I've just realised the dual monitor computer option (for Dev Avatar) has no computer, it's just two monitors.7
-
I don't want no sticker and no stressball, i just want to read some dev rants and design my devRant avatar3
-
HR: I’m sure you know what this meeting is about
Dev: My script that converts the name of our 3rd party IT provider in any email thread I reply to with “PooPoo Inc.”?
HR: No, that is a separate meeting
Dev: Ah.4 -
Someone asked me what a full stack dev is... I replied:
"A highly sought after programmer with the world of opportunities and no time to pursue them."
I think I nailed it.3 -
First dev job: port Unix on Transputer, a (now defunct) bizarre processor with no stack, no registers and no compiler. That was fun! And that was in 1991 😎
3 -
How to check devrant in the office.
Open devrant
Read rants
Smile to yourself
Refresh devrant
**no new rant
keep phone away for few seconds
Open dev rant again -
"The client has reported {some problem}. Do we know what has caused it?"
Dev: "{explanation} is the cause"
"Ok, was that caused by a recent change?"
Dev: "No, the system has been like that since the start"
"Ok, but who did it? Was it some recent work?"
Dev: "The system has been like that since the start"
Constant fucking blame and finger pointing.
Fuck off. -
After 'Dev' deployed a service using Azure ServiceBus, a particular queue/client was receiving errors.
Dev: "Looking at the logs, client is getting faulted."
Me: 'What is the error being logged?'
Dev: 'Client is faulted'
Me: 'No, that is our error when the client is either unable to connect or there is an exception in the middle of sending a message. What is the exception from Azure?'
Dev: 'Client is faulted. That's it. I'm going to have to re-engineer the code to implement a retry policy.'
<OK, I smell someone cooking up some solution finding, so I dig into the logs a little further>
Me: "Looks like an invalid connection string. The actual exception being thrown and logged is from the Azure client connection string builder. The value cannot be null."
Dev: "No, I'm looking right at the connection string in the config. Looks fine."
Me: "Looks correct on your machine, but what is actually being deployed to the server?"
<I could tell he was getting agitated>
<Dev clicks around, about 10 min. later>
Dev: "Aha!..I found it. The connection string in the config on the main branch is wrong, in fact, the entry is missing."
<dev fixes, re-deploys, life is good, I document the error and the root cause>
Boss: "Great job Dev."
*sigh* ..go teamwork?3 -
Dev: I think I just deleted data I shouldn't have. Can you do a rollback?
Me: No, I'm a DBA, I don't touch data. Did you commit?
Dev: Yes, I committed.
Me: Your data is gone.
Dev: But don't you guys do backups?
Me: We backup the Prod servers. We only back up Dev on request. Did you request a backup in Dev?
Dev: No.
Me: ...
Dev: The Testers are going to be pissed.1 -
Feels like I found value of "NAN"
i.e, finding non-ranter dev @ devrant!
"Write no rant
Comment no rant
++(view) all rant "
@Ghored
I guess he should be given a badge or something!
Never able to achieve that stage of satisfaction,
Bsod in windows,
Grub rescue for Linux,
Gradle build problem for android,
404 errors,
What not ?
Yet I really feel like today , I met a ironical legend of dev community!
A full bow to you my friend
4 -
Me: IE7 sucks and should no more be supported in 2018.
Dev: NO IE7 IS THE BEST BROWSER EVER IN THE UNIVERSE FUCK YOU!!
Same Dev in another Rant: Fuck I hate IE and Microsoft!!!
One question guys: what's up with always trying to find a way to be anti, no matter what? Even if what you defend totally opposes your view. Is this something like a new trend or is this like the new cool now?7 -
Me when I fuck up my sleep schedule badly by turning my life into a coding sprint and then trying to go normal
-
Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................6 -
Manager: Can you stay late as fuck today? One of our bitchiest vendors is gonna update their piece of crap and I'm pretty damn sure shit is gonna hit the fan
Dev (inner voice): no fucking way, I have kids to watch and chores to do!
Dev (outer voice): can't we just check everything in the morning?
Manager: No fucking way! If there is some fucking "challenge" when our "people" try to log onto their shit, I'm gonna look like a chump!
Let's talk silvers, I will sign on that bloody commie bullshit for your hours tonight.
Dev (outer voice): Fine. Until how late?
Dev (inner voice): Wait, I was supposed to do it without getting overtime bonus?5 -
It's a week late notice but...
I got my first actual-real-paid-not start-up dev job!
And I have no one to celebrate it with... Toronto..?7 -
Is it really possible to become a good dev with only sololearning ?
I'm a student that already destroy my dev teacher(bad school, no money) so I'm trying to improve myself, but i cannot see the result.. :(13 -
Just applied to a job with Microsoft with no professional dev history at all... I consider it a Turing test..3
-
Dev trends themselves.
The more buzzworthy the better, tons of material to rant about and hot air to sell.
(No offense to the ones who actually do this tho),
3 -
Just over heard, Dev A was reviewing another team's code ...
Senior Dev A: "I don't understand this teams code. I hate WebAPI. Wish we could use X."
Senior Dev B: "Why can't we use X?"
Senior Dev A: "It's frowned upon."
Senior Dev B: "By whom?"
- couple of seconds of silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is not a Microsoft technology"
- few more seconds of awkward silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is magnitudes slower than WebAPI anyway."
Senior Dev C: "What? How much slower?"
- caught off guard..didn't know Senior Dev C didn't have his headphones on -
Senior Dev A: "Um...I don't know, that is what you told me."
Senior Dev C: "I never said that. I've never used X. I prefer WebAPI anyway, but both WebAPI and X use REST based protocols, I doubt X is magnitudes slower. Actually, I think you told me WebAPI was slower."
Senior Dev A: "Different paradigm."
- second or two of silence -
Senior Dev B: "What?"
Senior Dev A: "Hey, did you see on twitter ..."
Have no idea where he thought that conversation was going. Maybe he was hoping the other devs would dog-pile/attack the code. Pretty funny it backfired. His face when Dev C said 'I never said that' was priceless. Like "Oh -bleep- ..how do I lie out of this one? ...quick, distract with random words or a twitter post" -
Introducing No.js! A revolutionary new framework. Just build your templates and then... Stop. No worrying about browser compatibility. Web dev has never been so simple.4
-
Enjoying my new dev environment already.
This is a real install alongside my existing windows install. Surprisingly enough, windows has in no way complained about Arch!
12 -
Company switched some users from windows 7 to windows 10 overnight. Installation failed for most of the Dev team.
- No admin access
- Files missing
- Programs missing
Result : we can't work :/4 -
<senior dev turns around..making some small talk about the weather and such.. then>
Senior Dev: “Yea, I’m wanting to take my hard drive out of my desktop and put it in my laptop”
<I know his personal laptop is an older 13.3” dell>
Me: “You have a 2.5” laptop drive in your desktop computer?”
<gives me a very puzzled look>
Senior Dev: “Um…no.”
<second or two of awkward silence>
Me: “Well, a desktop hard drive isn’t going to fit in your laptop.”
<gives me another very puzzled look with a touch of annoyance>
Senior Dev: “It might work.”
<senior dev turns back around>
Why the –bleep- do people talk to me!? Now the rest of the day all I want to do is take his computer away from him…poor thing…that little guy has no idea what his owner wants to do to him .7 -
BI dev: Hey, can you help me with my SQL query?
Me: Sure, let me see it.
BI dev: sends screenshot - not even the whole query, literally a screenshot with a segment of text in it. No errors showing either.
Me: ...7 -
Today I spent 25 minutes explaining to this dev that there’s no way that a http request can access directly to an ftp server and retrieve a file.
A dev with 4 years of experience...17 -
Apparently Chrome will no longer support installing add-ons outside of the official store by the end of this year. Not even in dev mode...8
-
I'm wanting to try and develop an Android app, but I want to include Add and a paid version.. what's a good closed-source license? (I'm used to working with GPLv3)
I basically want to hold all rights and disallow modification and distribution.10 -
To be locked in a dev-centered paradigm. I want personal projects that earn me money. I want my own business. But, it requires marketing. I have no respect for marketing people. I’m a dev, and that’s a common sentiment among devs. I have to get over it to achieve my goals, but it seems like I’m locked in a dev paradigm. I only see engineering.10
-
dev "no no no, you're overengineering it. You just need one class for that"
Me "but ... Those are different object that share a common interface. The internal logic is not the same, only their output is. You know ... That's the purpose of interfaces"
Him "no no, as i said, you don't need that. Listen, you can put ALL the fields and methods in a single class and then you can use a switch with different cases .."1 -
The best part of being a dev is that no matter how long you take to solve a problem, you know that even after a whole night of solving issues it will be worth the effort because you will deliver a functional product and there is no best feeling.2
-
After 4 months of dev, Project went into production
Client: it should work like that.
Me: it's a CR!
Client: No, it's not!
Me: talk to my boss.
...
...
...2 -
Dev and Social balance?!?
There is no balance it is one and the same. If you need balance between them it means they exclude each other.
Dev is sociable to an extreme. In which other field do you see hundreds of random people collaborating as if they were friends for decades?1 -
Simple. I push everyone I care about out of my life, and procrastinate dev life until the last seconds. My life has no balance.
-
bf is starting his first job as a dev and asked me how to prepare. i had no clue what to tell him lol. any suggestions?30
-
Dev friend: Happy in your job?
- Me: Kinda, don't see myself doing it for another 35 years tho.. :(
Dev friend: Go back to school, learn computer sciences and get a dev job. You'll love it.
So now I'm back in school, no regrets whatsoever. Without a doubt best advice.. :) -
The day after I delivered a secure programming course to our junior devs.
Junior dev: I can't figure out what's happening when I generate this sql.
Me: what do you mean generating ... It should be a prepared statement..
Junior dev: no I'm just generating the strings from the form
Me: ... Let's try this again.... -
Well paid java dev. But the HW/SW-Stack is awful.
Monitor: single 1600x1024
5yr old notebook, old i5, magnetic hdd
Forced to use windows 7
No maven server
No CI server
SVN but no git
Eclipse, no intelliJ
No sonar server
There are days where I just can't take it anymore.11 -
I'm afraid to go outside today because it is sunny.
I am a dev and have no tan.
I think I'm a day walker...1 -
Lead-Dev: "These links don't work as they should, I'm having you fix them, 'kay?"
Me: "I'll have a look."
> The link doesn't do anything when you click on it.
My internal monologue: (The href is probably just wrong)
> It's not wrong.
Me: "What the fuck?"
Lead-Dev: "Can you fix it?"
Me: "I don't think I can."
Lead-Dev: "Why don't you try looking in thisScript.js?"
Me: "Oh, you think the click event got prevented or something?"
Lead-Dev: "No, I think something went wrong with what that script is doing with the jQuery library this site uses."
Me: "..."
Lead-Dev: "..."
Me: "jQuery... library...?"3 -
Guide to dev rant:
Bad memes
Job interview fails
Rants about js
Posts complaining about devrant
Devrant probe finished: no other content3 -
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...3 -
There is no such a thing as a good dev days. There are only bad and worse days. Unless you are millionaire and you don't have to deal with clients.
-
A bit long read but worth it for every dev to become a better dev.
No no, not from me.
From Linus Torvalds himself.
https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/... -
I'm a dev and I like to rant
And who says it has to always be about Dev stuff ?
So!!! I ve spent 2 days as a junior dev and I feeel not well... 1) I am the worst dev in the company with no experience 2) brain-dead 3) feel like I wasted 2 days and learnt nothing, I guess in theory it's something but realistically I had no "it clicked" /pure genius /astounded myself / made major new brain connections moments
So what's going to happen now. ? When will I wake up? How do I wake up ?11 -
Best part of being a dev is the fact that we get to use our brains everyday. No day is ever monotonous.
-
You know what's fucking horrible?
Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...
...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.
Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?1 -
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1 -
Best dev experience : found this. https://github.com/jupeter/...
Worst dev experience : learned the cons of no documentation the hard way. -
Dev sent out a code review request.
I take about an hour, ask questions, make suggestions, general feedback, etc.
Today I noticed none of my questions were answered, developer closed the review, and the code merged into the production branch.
So I email him, asking him why the review was closed and why none of my concerns were addressed before merging to production.
Dev: "No one responded or left feedback, so I thought it was OK to merge up."
Me: "I reviewed and left feedback within the hour you sent the request."
Dev: "Oh yea...you did. Sorry. The code is already in production, but if you still want to leave feedback, create a work item, and I'll take a look."
No you won't.
An example of the code...The dev added an async method to a test harness *console app*. Why? .. check in comment was "Improves performance and enhances the developer experience.."
NO IT DOESN'T!
OK..that's off my chest. No one is getting punched in the face today.6 -
web dev agency makes a job ad that fits exactly my skill set.
*send an email in a good form with resume and everything*
No acceptance, no decline, no "we'll look at it", just nothing...
just fucking die already -_ -4 -
That moment during your internship when you work on a project using a framework you're not familiar with, with no doc, and absolutely no comments, and you find a file with 1.3k lines of code without the ability to contact the previous dev
4 -
- my (non-dev) supervisor at my job
- no documentation
- no source control
- people working in the same team with completely different programming/domain knowledge levels, but also very different ways of being
- bad within-project communication
Luckily not all of them are about my job. We do use source control.8 -
Hmm. This code needs refactoring.
*recodes on Local and uploads*
Works on my branch.
*git push origin master and merge*
Works on Dev.
*deploy to Test*
Works on Test.
*deploy to Live*
Doesn't work.
*compares Live to Test, Dev, and Local*
No f$@%^%%$# difference!?!!
*quits development and lives under a bridge*5 -
There is no one who can relate to me around our area. Even my friends are non-dev. It's frustrating. Thanks devRant for existing.
-
Always thought writing free code is devaluing yourself. So, the stories coming out how the most popular used libraries' dev/maintainer having no income, complaining afterwards doesn't surprise me.
Why do people devalue themselves? I have no idea.6 -
the boat was sinking in the middle of the sea,
athlete: I can swim my way out,can you?*
dev: no, but I can write code for "help me!" in 10 languages -
So i left my job as an android dev earlier (nothing big, just didnt wanna juggle school and work) and as the year started i noticed that somehow i ended up working as an android dev again but this time in c#. There's no escape.9
-
One day at the office at whoever built Laravel
Dev: sir, most of devs use php, we can use good old php expressi...
Boss: no, dump all of them, we'll create our own functions that do same job
Dev: ok... So our devs will use mysql, we can use sql quer...
Boss: dump them all too, again, we will make our own functions that dont look anything like that
Dev: we can also use standard...
Boss: NO STANDARDS! Creare every single php method or sql query in another method that does the same job... -
!dev
I hate the fucking weekends.
Stuck in a family gathering where no one gives a minuscule shit about me or my comments.
No one available on discord to chat while in the midst of this depressing environment.
fuck meeeee... -
! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.
1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.2 -
Last job I was in, dev boss would ask to send him snippets of code through email for review...
...they used no git or source control
I quit after two weeks.1 -
**it's 17:47*"**
Dev: Hi manager I have those 13 tasks on me and I won't finish on time.
Manager: Well all those items needs to be finished on Time, how YOU are going to resolve it?
Dev:😵😵😭😤🥺
Manager: there is additional defect to check please take it on priority ,it a real easy one , I'll do it my self in 5 min but I'm too busy
Dev: ETA?
Manager : by the end of the day.
Dev: Well it's already end of the day.
Manager: Exactly, I knew I can count on you .
Dev:🥺🥺🧐
****Next day *****
Manager: Hey sorry to call you on your cell but I see there were no progress on yesterday issue.
Dev : Sorry Manager I'm sick.
Manager : O.K feel well (🤬)
Dev : thank you so much (😎fk you asshole😎)3 -
Company makes you doing end user support additionally to your (dev) job, so you have no time to do the latter.
-
So how on earth is Strict MVC good for web dev. A variation of MVC works well but strict principles no!!!5
-
!dev
Was looking for an anime to watch this evening, looking into netflix recommended:
Guilty Crown
Nah i dont wanna cry today
Charlotte
I said no crying
Clannad
....
Angel Beats
I SAID NO CRYING OKAY?13 -
Sent SO accepted answer to another dev as backup to my argument.
Dev - Did Jon Skeet answer it?
Me - No.
Dev - I don't want to hear it. -
Dear last dev, thanks 4 leaving little 2 no //comments as u possibly could. 😑😣😢😠
Please //comment ur code!!1 -
My vision for my dev career would be being retired from it because I no longer have to work for money. This will never happen.
-
!dev
Applied for passport renewal 1.5 months ago... No update yet
My friend applied for passport renewal yesterday from different state and received a message for printing in evening. -
Works in production?
Yes: Copy changes to dev and test.
No: Start humming and walk away from the computer. -
I've got an offer from college development team to make a school website with them.
I've no idea of web dev except HTML, CSS, basic js and PHP.
Should I get in?3 -
Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee3 -
If there was an anime Based on developers.
==Start===
Dev : here comes my favorite browser.
Mouse : No, not until I'm here.
Hand : whattttt? What's happening??
Mind : oh NO!! I why's Internet Explorer is loading?!?
Faster Mind : it's mouse, he's behind all this. Only he's powerful enough to pull off something like this.
Time : Developer-san SAVE me!!
IE : it's too late now, if you do anything it will just slow everything down!!! Hahahah
Dev : No it won't, don't ever underestimate a true developer. It's not over yet!!
*Some keyboard key combination
Time : *screams* developerrr-saaaan!!
Hand : wait, I know it, it's happening. We can still save Time-chan.
IE : WHAT!! No, it can't be!!
Dev : here comes Ctrl+Alt+Del. Be gone....
IE : Nooooooooooooo, this isn't happening, Aaaaaa *dead*
Hand : we did it!!!10 -
...when you find yourself circumventing your own security measures that you lectured the entire team about...1
-
Reviewed the code of a dev almost twice my age and asked why they used relative imports for seemingly no reason.
Response: “because I can”
OK, then.7 -
Come on guys, I want to gather deadly One-Liner for Linuxsystems. Maybe someone has some more creative ways than the standard ones below.
1. rm -rf / —no-preserves-root
2. echo . > /dev/sda
(3). :(){ :|: & };:
4. mv / /dev/null4 -
Happy!
Being an Android Dev myself, I bought my first app in Play Store!
Nova Launcher Prime was offered @ ₹10 (~0.15$). No matter how small the contribution is, it's quite a special joy to support another dev!
4 -
I'm not sure if it's just here, but in my country dev teams are not very organized. Most teams i've seen have no sense of process and they overlook testing.1
-
(remembered a meme)
dev: already 10pm, im gonna go to sleep (tired of solving a problem. goes to bed, cant sleep coz still thinking about the problem. an idea pops out of nowhere).
dev: this is going to be quick!( opens the laptop, still applying the idea until 6am)
!really have no life! -
!dev
When your retirement estimates says no matter what, you'll be earning more than you do now when you retire...
-
@dfox @trogus
Why is it that after scrolling down on my profile page I can no longer properly scroll up? The view gets sort of "stuck" (sorry, no Android dev here).8 -
!dev?
It's getting cold now over here and all I want to do is sleep... I have no motivation to do anything useful (dev, useful reading) either, just binge watch TV...
So wondering how do you actually get shit done (stuff you should do but don't have to do)? Maybe it's the food related as well?7 -
There's no provisioning script. Code repo's there, but no configuration files. Missing folders that break the app. No documentation on what to install, what directories to create, NO instructions. Nothing. Just an empty Ubuntu vagrantbox and a git repo. Took the entire morning and then some, just to replicate the dev environment. Fuck
-
Worst part of being a dev is no clear career path. I have no idea what I'll be doing in the next 5 years3
-
dev: ugh we need to set and implement coding standards
same dev: no I don't need to follow what you just said, it's already clean and readable (it's not) -
I have no experiences with dev teachers because I simply didn't finished high school yet..
But next year you will meet a lot of ranting about teachers (Please not actually😂) -
When I'm on lunch I stop coding to watch other people code on youtube. Does anyone else have this problem?1
-
Inherited a trainwreck of a site with multiple CSS files. The deadline for changes was BS. No time to remove unused rules, so I left a sorry note for the next dev.3
-
A non dev has no right to pass judgement whether a dev is good or not. Be it engg manager or a product manager or any other manager6
-
Go back in time and follow a dev career.
25 years ago there was no dev jobs in my country except in the capital, so I didn't follow a dev career...
I could be wealthy by now :p1 -
Custom php api for huge known national software. No frameworks. Not following mvc structure. No decent documentation. Im the new dev and like how the fuck should i catch up before they think im not productive2
-
!dev
found a video, where a japanese guy presented himself as 'no mass'
he is a fashion designer and his brand is 'no mass production'3 -
"npm i {name} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{name} needs {dependency} v5.0.1"
"Oh, okay, I install that one then, no problem"
"npm i {dependency@5.0.1} - - save-dev"
-ERROR: "{dependency@5.0.1} needs {dependency} v3.1.1}
"Oh, okay, makes sens I guess, I'll" install that one to then."
"npm i {dependency@3.1.1} - -save-dev"
ERROR:"Nah"
"Son of a.."8 -
Me after my Mac decided to run two unkillable mystery httpd processes on port 80 when I’m just trying to meet deadlines using MAMP for local dev but it no longer works.
2 -
Basically,
- No such thing as specialty, you are either a full stack dev who develops all aspects of a project and deploys it or your a jobless dev. Its asking too much of companies to pay more than one dev for one project regardless of scale. Paying minimum wage for a single dev is more than enough!
- You develop for a company, if by any chance you find someone willing to hire freelancers, your insane if you ask for more than 500 USD on a full fledged e commerce system coz a couple of wordpress companies do it for less !
Basically, dont be a dev in Lebanon.1 -
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone -
That moment when you start asking yourself why no one answers you questions in a dev related group chat and then realise it almost 2 am.... I should sleep more...
-
Promoted this last Tuesday. Went from hourly associate app Dev to application analyst. Apparently I skipped app Dev and Sr app Dev. Not the raise I wanted but still substantial. No change in responsibilities with high probability of substantial raise next year on the next budget. Curious though. Is app analyst always above developer? Titles confuse me.3
-
I really want my dev team to ask me to go to happy hour so I can suggest meeting at Foo Bar. Though, that may be why no one's asked..3
-
Started working with a startup. They have one Dev guy, who for some reason is using both python 3 and 2 in the same git repo, and had no requirement.txt or anything to really track dependencies....
For fuck sake, the Dev guy is actually intelligent, but really freaking messy.. why can't he have this basic thing done...1 -
I love being a part of a dev project as a non-dev employee, but I really wish I could leave VBA.
If for no other reason, because I'm tired of writing functions that end with "Me.Cells(Row, Column).Value" practically in my sleep.
There are a lot of other reasons, though...1 -
Me: I will add something to the email.
Other Dev: Eat a bag of dicks?
Me: No this is going to a client, so eat a bag of penises or male genitalia. -
Having to do 10's of ElasticSearch v2 -> 6 client requests migration manual deploys of a 10-year old PHP/ Javascript codebase where the gulp build's plugins no longer work, the package dependencies have been .gitignore'd (who does that!), and dev cowboys have frequently bypassed version control by making changes directly in production.
Also, no one knows anything about it because the only dev who was supposed to maintain this app left 3 months ago due to unbearable management.1 -
When no one in the industry knows you because you still didn't land your first dev job, and you're not happy where you are,, but recruiters gotta lie to sound appealing!
-
!dev
Tried to put my latest dev frustration in to a rant. By the time I managed to express it in English, it lost its urgent edge, and it no longer seemed big enough deal to post it here.
I'm the same way about emails too. Write it, read it delete it without sending 8 times out of 10. -.-1 -
I have an interview for a Mobile Dev Trainee position with me classmates. I'm a web guy. I have no idea what has been going on with mobile dev while I was away. But this is opportunity. Halp! What to do to not screw it up? I understand the concept of making API calls somehow. Maybe, that would halp?1
-
When the recruiting company mails you about new jobs along with your PASSWORD!
Dude, you have a fuckall dev and u will help me find a job... Thanks, but no thanks.
4 -
Being by far the most junior dev on a small team is tough. On top of no real pro experience having to learn an unfamiliar framework and the overall architecture/design.2
-
Do a simple fucking thing ... Hoo no that cross origin shit protection XD i know the utility of this protection but in dev damm just shut the fuck up and work
-
My dev super power would be to read client's minds before a design call and eradicate their stupid ideas for a website that make absolutely no sense. Save us all a headache.
-
Well, after the snafu with the Ruby dev job, I've instead landed an SQL Dev role. Notice handed in, and in four weeks I will no longer work in support. The fact it's closer to home and pays more is a bonus.1
-
My first dev job after vocational high school is being an android dev, still on 2.1.
Small amount of tutorials for doing basic stuffs, no libraries that makes life easier, my english sucks and no idea how to java.
Oh and i did the backend too.
But at least i got paid 150$ a month which is nice than being an unemployed -
Sometimes I want to chat in private with my rants friends here but unfortunately the dev rant there's no option for private messages.
This is bad.7 -
How would you react if you got a dev job but had no technical stage at all? (coding/take home/quiz)4
-
Why it's so damn hard to find a GF as a Dev?
when I talk to one no title about life but dev titles come to my mouth and she has no idea what the heck am i talking about!5 -
To be able to use actual Jarvis or the OASIS from the fictions.
// Have no intention to develop one by myself. But I really wish I can use those as a dev.6 -
Our head of customer support:
We are transitioning from using Zendesk to Salesforce. We need to do some dev integrations..
Me:
HELL NO!
6 -
if you're a dev, WHY on earth would you send me a blind LinkedIn invite with no message? who the !@#$ are you??
1 -
Blue light toxicity is real. Please use blue light filters fellow dev. Especially at night when no other light is on. You only have one set of eyes.12
-
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
I have being working on a project with server side using PHP. My dev environment is XAMPP on Debian. PHP is 7.3.10. So.... no MCrypt. Documents said that a new kid called Sodium is in town but php said he doesn’t know this guy...
I have no encryption library...14 -
Let's say you're pretty good frontend dev, a bet geeky about strong typing. And you're paired with an API backend, and it's PHP. You would think it's pain when it's bad PHP. No, real pain is when it's good PHP, and backend dev embraces and uses dynamic nature of the language to an extreme.3
-
!dev
Ok, fuck my city. We are fucking freezing here the second day now, no hot water, no heat, it is around 0 degrees outside and THEY FUCKING CAN'T COMMENT ON THE CURRENT SITUATION AND WHAT HAPPEND OR WHEN WE WILL STOP FREEZING? WHAT THE HELL????3 -
Oooh no. A golden fish would do. A Leprechaun too. Maybe I'd give a shot with a unicorn. But God sees I'm not going to have any business with geanies! No sir! Especially when we're talking about important matter, like dev!
-
that moment when you decide to become and indie app dev and there are plenty of guides that tell how to be a good indie dev but no guides that teach you how not to get fucked by your own government...2
-
I was watching a tutorial video about node server setup. The tutor advised to set up hot reloading using a tool called "no demon":
npm install --save-dev nodemon4 -
Yes, I sit right next to the boss. No, I don't know where he is or when he will be back. I'm a Dev like you, not his secretary1
-
God, I wish I had even 2-3 friends that did web dev. I know a bunch of people on Discord who do rom hacking and fan games, but no web devs. :sad:7
-
me: I git your mom last night...repo was huge!
other dev: yah, i git it
me: Tried to download your mom, ran out of hard drive space.
other dev: fuck you
me: no, seriously: https://github.com/Demolishun/...1 -
The worst part of being a dev is actually explaining what you do to people with no technical experience.
-
!dev
There is no greater embarrassment for me as a german then the Deutsche Bahn. There is no greater accumulation of incompetence than this bundle of dillitants.6 -
Sigh, what is it with these cowboy SQL Devs? Why the fuck is this a pattern for anything?
New contract, new idiots, sigh.
EDIT: Had to change picture because Prod is different to Dev (but no dev has been done since release....smh)
4 -
The new project was started.
Planning, analysis, design.... all right.
Now contacting all the companies for partner programs, finding payment gateway that will agree to work with our country.
For fucks sake. third week goes, and still no code writing. Just researching, contacting, researching. Urgh.
I want to code already! I am just
a backend/DevOps person! When it would be coding time?!3 -
I think I might become a project manager or a BA. No one ever considers asking them to code. If you're the dev lead though...2
-
So I'm moving out of my current student's house (to a nice normal apartment yay) and people are making contact with me to start the grand sightseeing tour of this shit hole. But every time a new candidate sends their first message, they never tell me their name. Wtf is happening here, how is this the standard way to introduce yourself: "hi I'm interested in your housing, when can we meet.". Not even a question, more like a statement or something. Today someone had the audacity to simply told me to send pictures of the house out of the blue.
Am I just getting old or something? Why the hell can't people properly introduce themselves or even ASK something instead of semi-demanding it?!7 -
In college.
Created event registration site with jQuery and Material design.
I had no web dev knowledge -
Applied for a Laravel position
No Laravel code or projects and shoved into Wordpress Dev.
What waste mine and their time.
I suppose it just wouldn't have worked out anyway.
Onwards and upwards.1 -
New job, strict devops role. I asked the devs they're painpoints, no mention of local dev stack.
Spin up a local dev stack and it's a garbage fire. No feature flags, env vars, docker. Have to be careful due to devs using staging databases for dev work.
This is going to be a problem...3 -
My first dev project was back in the third grade. I made a simple (and hideous) HTML website. No CSS, no JS, just plain old (and I mean old) HTML.
Showed my whole class, there was much awe and wonder.
</end story>2 -
It really blows when dev is down and no one replies to my messages. It's as if it being down doesn't affect them because they're not doing work or something.3
-
Client: bug: downloading invoice pdf filename is F0000%20client%20project.pdf, fix this!
Dev: Safari browser has this problem since 2014, options are installing chrome on mac or saving file as F0000_client_project.pdf
Client: no, fix this!
Dev: 😫4 -
Is part-time remote dev work a thing? I wanna go that route but no clue where to get started. Freelancing? Consulting? Or do companies actually hire part time remote devs?7
-
Lazy / idiotic PMs or BAs. No mather how hard the dev team tries, if the analisys or the management is bad, you're screwed.1
-
Freaking dev requesting me to add an api route to give him pre-treated results no one else needs.
We're building "generic" stuff here... -
Since I have a part time dev job I have no time for gaming .
My gaming friends must think that I am dead 😢 -
Has anyone else ever been stuck in a 'doSomething()' limbo where your dev section has no tickets so you have to create your own tickets so that you still seem productive?6
-
!dev
Obligatory Star Wars comment.
No, really though. Star Wars is awesome and I can’t wait for that Lando movie -
Agency life where the dev department plays 3rd string to our Creative/Experience team and our Demand Gen team. Mainly because the leadership has no idea how to sell dev work?
Oh, and when dev work comes in, its on a super rushed/compressed time table where we've over-promised, and under-charged.
No margin on this project? Yeah, no shit cause you sold it for 50% of what we told you it would cost, dumb ass.2 -
If the dev genie can fulfill my non-dev wishes
1. Enough money for my daughter's education.
2. No dev work from now.
3. Enough money to manage my family needs till I die so I can freely educate other kids fulltime. -
it's sooo annoying. There are no sites that cover SOAP with JavaScript. I am only a junior dev and I have no way how to tackle this project. Why SOAP??11
-
A "Show Devrant" category.
Rules:
* No dick pics
* Strictly dev related stuff
* No dick pics even if it's a machine learning project that can tell the difference between dicks and sausages6 -
!dev
Missed the fucking bus to work because they changed up the times here without prior notice...
So no more having the "nice" train (with comfy clean seats, wifi and airco) but the "crap" train (old dirty seats, no wifi and no airco) AND a quarter of an hour wait...
I rly need a drivers license... -
My previous job was Engineer ( Ops part of DevOps), supporting the devs with VMs, configurations, dev and test environments, CI maintenance, DBA, DB-dev and such, it was sexy.
In my current company, I have no technical role, but today's task: build a small webpage in sharepoint in HTML.
And the perv part is: it's still bettet than having no Technical task at all...2 -
Manager: No deployment during the code freeze
Dev: Yes, sure
(Manager goes on vacation)
Dev: Got a weird smile1 -
What's the optimal dev to non-dev ratio at a workplace?
I switched from a 1:65-ish ratio to 1.5:2.5 ratio this year, and it was an improvement by all means. But I still feel so very alone, struggling with my many dev-related questions and really no one to discuss them with.
Under what ratio do you prefer to work? -
Looking at the dev world this month like.. gitlab is down.. s3 is down.. isitdown down.. looks like devrant is using s3 as well, so no meme on this rant :/
And for the first time in a long time it's not my problem..
No job, no bugs 😖😭 -
!rant
I see all these really awful dev stories and here I am, without a single one...yet. What are the signs of a bad dev storm brewing?1 -
Alright so this I have been feeling from sometime now, this abnormal energy to work till dawn n dusk and then realizing that this body needs time to heal back and I have to take rest before starting any work.
I want to meet focus of a saint1 -
> mfw a non-dev customer shows me an exception that is easy to reproduce to answer my sarcastic questions whether she got any problems with the application
> mfw no dev or PM ever thought of using the application like this1 -
No documentation available. Often has to try to identify the dev, and then get the best of his memory guidance by phone.
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Now I didn't become a dev solei to avoid paperwork but the lack of paper was appealing...
I'm stuck in a support gig because it pays more than any of the dev jobs I got offered and I do is write is docs on Confluence.
Please no "Money isn't everything" comments. I agree but the dev offers I got, I couldn't live on -
My biggest dev ambition?
Actually finishing software which could be used in production.
And no, Dont even try to call unfinished work the MVP version... -
Does no one check the dev console before comming to you about site code not working?
It says it right there!
You can't load a src with http while the site is https. -
So what did you all think about Google Clod Next's opening day? I was really surprised, that there were no dev related topics.2
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