I have lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

How did this date format ever get past code review.

Git : Can't pull because there are uncommitted changes.

Me : *check the changes*

Git : None

Me : ಠ_ಠ

When none of your stuff is working properly and everyone keeps coming over to bug you

#titanic{
float: none;
}

When my question gets upvotes on Stack Overflow but none answers it

Start a billion personal projects and work on none of them...

100% network engineer

All of my friends are designers. None of them can code. And when I try to design...

Be a real man an buy a binary keyboard like me.

Pros:
You become an absolute god.

Cons:
None

Let none say it wasn't a productive day.

She probably thinks arrays start at 1. But that's none of my business.

Me after a large Git merge, after expecting masses of merge conflicts and getting none. Life is good my friend.

If shes happy good, but still this makes me feel queasy none the less.

.titanic {
float: none;
}

2016 {
display: none;
}

A sweet girl of my class asked me yesterday, if i can help her to refresh her IT skills. I said "yes ofc im glad to help" . Today she repeated it, while whole class was listening. Other classmates said" yeah good idea we want to join"
Well, fuck it..

fear {
display: none;
}

"Remove it i don't want it" - display: none !important;

And the award for the best API documentation goes to...

Microsoft!

Enough of Linux stickers! Here are some stickers of products which I barely recognize half and use none at work 😅

Some discounts are just so superb they need none.....

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change the environment to dark.

If every issue is a critical, none of them are

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Stack Overflow : None of us is as dumb as all of us

Random post on linkedin...

"Jack of all trades, master of none"

Being a generalist does not make you a master of none.

You are at a position to apply your diverse yet relevant experiences into a singular objective. This makes you strategic and holistic.

A jack of all trades, a master of integration.

CSS is about adding more lines till it works, and removing none in case it stops working.

.deadline {
clear: schedule;
sleep: none;
}

All these fortnite plyers thanking the bus driver but none of them thanking their graphics drivers

How to troll ppls level web designer:
body { cursor : none; }

Emojis can make messages playful, fun, exciting.
Your documentation and commit logs should be none of this.
Keep your emojis the fuck out of them.

all user input is evil
trust none of it

I've started do many projects, but finished none :-(

A simple `isVisible ? "block" : "none"` could work, but no, they have to create this thing...

.titanic{
float: none;
}

It always feels like a bad idea when the customer suggests doing a deployment on Friday. 😧

Dear libtards

Thanks for making gender none binary. You now increased my database size..

none support IE so it shouldn't be that hard😁

How many devs does it take to fix a light bulb?
None, it's a hardware problem.

It is always a good thing that none of your clients websites got hacked but your own website got.

Today's gonna be a long day.

I started 30 side projects in a month last year, none was finished

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, it's a hardware problem!

Most horrible part of my life:

Boss: Hey J make an android app where people can access my website.

J: Why not just use the browser on your phone?

Boss: Because I said so.

J: Ok, you want me to make an android app for your website whilst editing photos and videos for you? Can't you get someone else to do it?

Boss: Just get it done.

Because of DevRant:

Now hiding..

.titanic {
Float: none;
}

Within all my company code files just to annoy my co-developer

My software has been attacked by internal hacker to test my software for safe holes, they found none and did not get through 😁

Why its so hard to understand that - not always... - frontend devs will give you a sweet ui with medium back end and back end devs are gonna give you a medium ui with sweet back end?

Why can't we just do what nature made us good for and work in collaboration?

Fuck

Why would you have a unique constraint on a last name field?

A: NONE YOU'RE JUST A MORON

When my comment on someone's rant gets enough +1's for some sweet stickers, but none of my rants had enough 🤔😥

//An okay long rant..

So i work at this small robotics start-up company I Copenhagen.
The first dumb part is that it only uses interns as staff, because then they don't need to pay people. (I am working part time, for free. Just to get experience (I am only 20 btw))

So.. I often get into an argument with my boss, since she is a designer with a "passion" for robotics (she has no clue how to do anything related to the work) But I often try to explain to her some current limitations in the staff, and what is possible for us to do, but she will never listen. She really wants us to design our own microcontroller board PCB, and she want it at the size of a coin. However when I tell her that none of the, non paid works has the experience or education to design such a thing, she never wants to acknowledge it, and it really pisses me off.
And her dad, who is the top boss, only care for esthetics when he is making a work environment, which is dumb when we just need to develop stuff...

Sorry if the rant was too long but had to get it out..

How many programmers dose it take to change a lightblub?

None, it's a hardware problem.

I recently deleted a bunch of bookmarks from between 2002 and 2014. None of the websites even worked anymore.

Q : How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Need a girl to go for dating since I have none I sit with my Linux server

Linux is love 💖

.motivation {display : none;}

Customer complained that the site was not rendering as it's supposed to. After spending hours trying to fix the bug I saw that the customer had zoomed the browser which obviously broke the rendering.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a hardware problem.

He said make me an apk of this website ... lol

The darkest chapter in the python universe

Being that none of my family or friends code, it is nice to be here with others who are nerdy. What a great place

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb ?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

*badum tsss*

None. I would watch the world burn.

Walk down the street. Accidentally discover I'm in the way of none other than Stephen Hawking.

Not even lying about that.

Feel like a fucking rock star.

Is :/ (devrant logo) a pocker pace or a prompt to root directory?
Maybe none of them or both :))

80% of the letters in "Intel" also appear in "Hitler" while none of the letters in "AMD" do.

.me {
thesis: absolute;
sleep: none;
eye-bags: #000;
}

There are two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

This is really the stuff I have to deal on daily basis.

Thank you @dfox and @trogus for the awesome service you've built! And thank you for making my life less stressful! :)

You spend 2 hours debugging why content not showing up and end up seeing whole div class being
display: none;

Of course the common people gonna understand what went wrong!!

It’s all okay now, and I’m happy

I have been telling my dietitian's advice to my code.
Run daily.
None of us really care to listen though. 😄

Doing an exercise in college. The lecturer provided random number generator code that continuously outputs the number 10. But that's none of my business

Previously, I rant in twitter but none of my followers understand them.
So now I am gonna switch here.

Please bear with me. (^.^)d

Sadly none. FML.

// I do have ex-employees though but I doubt they consider me as friend

I hate it when people put time into making their docs look nice but none into making them actually helpful!

When your project leader knows { display: none } and thinks he's a web developer...

When my sister asks me to remove the datestamp fort her wordpress website ->
.datestamp{
display: none !important;
}

In a meeting with my new team I asked if they had a preference between tabs and spaces. None of them cared.

#notrealdevs

There are a million ways to center shit in css and none of them fucking work

At my job there is little to none documentation of the software. Software is from 2000 and updated since...

Imagine the features no one knows about.

Was hired as an intern, paid me the minimum wage, had to independently handle 3 large scale projects. Got to learn A LOT but was not paid enough.

Signal looks like a good app but I have none to write top secret messages to

...none. 🤔

#titanic {
float: none;
}

From Gitlab: "So in other words, out of 5 backup/replication techniques deployed none are working reliably or set up in the first place."

.project-managers { display: none; }

None. I hate dust.

Ever noticed whenever you actually need a friend, none of them can be reached?

Technology has failed me. Where is my robot companion?

when you're copying code from stack overflow and you have to change the class names

No javascript frameworks were created during the writing of this rant. :)

// TODO: It's none of your business

What is your hobby AND WHY? ??

Well I haven't seen any of devs killing people .. so none I guess. 🤷

I don’t make people feel dumb from the doubts they ask.

How many programmers does it take to change a light-bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem.

AdobeFlex what ?!

I’m currently learning development thru a remote bootcamp, I spend 80% of free time trying to build stuff and doing challenges. None of my friends understand or care, how do you combat loneliness/make friends when you’re a beginner? I’ve been to a few meetups but everyone’s way ahead of me. Bootcamp classmates are cool but none are in my city.

if that site if malware free, then my ass is purple and none of my code needs to be refactored.

Q: How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? 💡

A: None. It's a hardware problem. 👩‍💻

How many devs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.

I'm so glad I had none yet.

I would probably get killed for my shitcode.

None of debuggers can beat me! Cuz I'm really good rebugger!

In real life?....none

*cries in corner* ;_;

You know what really grinds my gears? HTML.

Specifically the fact that browsers report no errors at all when it comes to HTML. They just try their best to render what they're given and if you get unexpected results? Fuck you.

None.

But i have lost faith in the careers of one too many peers.

Stay frosty putos

PyCharm (and other IntelliJ based stuff), because it's second to none.

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, its a hardware problem 😂😂👌👌

WHY PUT A BUTTON THERE AT ALL?!

How many project managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just schedule a meeting to discuss the lighting strategy.

I was making changes in JS and it did not get reflected into the browser, spent 3 hours on it. Later realised I was making changes in the wrong JS file. Have never felt this dumb in my life.

Me when I use Laravel components in an old none Laravel project and save myself time.

So how many programmers it take to screw in a lightbulb?

- None

( Lightbulb is a class which got method screw(), so it can screw itself 😉 )

My most ridiculous recruiter experience is the fact that none of them ever get back to me.

Am I the only one that enjoys cyberpunk 2077 on PC so far?
None of the bugs that I encountered are game breaking or annoying that much.

Why there are so many commercials about driving safe, but none about exploiting the dangers of downloading random software from phishy sites?

Finally, after a a few months...

A few months ago I started a personal git gui project for learning purposes. I wanted to learn C and Gtk on Linux. After a few days of coding I wanted to include the glade file in the binary, searched the internet and found old results with no success. Fast forward to today, I start yet another project without finishing my last one (this one is also c and gtk). I'm still having this problem with the damn glade file. So I keep looking for an answer and finds two solutions, none of them worked but when mixing them together it finally works.

Damn it feels good to succeed after trying/working hard on something you've struggled with. This is what keeps my motivation up. That amazing feeling of success... ☺️

Got job. Nothing but grateful 🙏🏼🥺

I miss the ease of installing shit on Windows, none of this missing dependencies nonsense!

When you do a deploy and none of the tests fail and you get more suspicious of the code than when a couple of them do fail.

Never did programming professionally so none yet and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon 😄

That awkward moment when you tell your friends a programming joke and realize instantly that none of them is a programmer.

Goat it

DevRant has an option of “random” for a reason

.titanic {
float: none;
}

None. As soon as I hear about a new trend I fear it. I fear the huge amount of Medium articles I would encounter...

.raise {
   display: none;
}

Your code is:
⭕️ Comprehensive
⭕️ Well Written
⭕️ <!-- Informative -->

Check none.

Walking into another devs code.

dBs, many db architectures everywhere. Yet still none can satisfy me until I pay a lot. We should all call them HookerDB

The fact that four to eight dollars a week could break me and cause me to lose my job before I've even started is a statement on how bad the american economy is, and what kind of future people have in america: none.

There is none.

"In this API you need to pass the epoch in user's timezone."

WTF!! can this world be any worse...... how many epochs are there in this world?

GitHub appears to be operating in some sort of time paradox at the moment as none of my recent commits are showing up.

There are so many interesting and great things to learn in IT, but I have the feeling, none of these is taught at my university 😪

Had to submit a form and couldn't because of some js errors. I hacked my way through with the console to submit none the less

none, no matter how easy it is im gonna tense up and not think straight. Im against the standard interviewing process to begin with

I live coding but I feel lonely. None of my friends code and I don't have a girlfriend to spent time with .

Being a social media influencer i.e. having a couple thousand followers doesn’t make you entrepreneur. Period.

sys.getsizeof(None)
16

Copies the project from one pc to another,Android studio be like i should dump all the errors unnecessaraily even though there are none😒

None of my exes believed at first, one can be twice as obnoxious as Sheldon Cooper without being half as bright.

At first.

I'm trying to reach Alice but none of my messages get through. Maybe Eve has something to do with it 🤔

Sometimes I get amazed about how CSS allows this kind of things:

.searchandfilter ul li:nth-child(1) ul li:nth-child(1) {
display: none;
}

None, I'm a designer also 😎

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None.
That's a hardware problem.

5am, working on something that none asked for but it might pay off in the end...

$ python

Python 3.6.1 (default, Feb 2018, 42:06:66)
[GCC 4.8.2] on linux

>>> print(None)
None
>>> print("The ideas in my head are always better")
The ideas in my head are always better

Ah perfect... Now none of the unit tests pass...

3 Reasons.... no wait 2 Reasons.... No it is 3 Reasons ;)

Is being Jack of all trades and master of none bad in the software field?

Good news everyone!

None of my co-workers joined dR.

Hi developers.... so i just feel like posting this post

I'm a self-taught developer its been 6 years now and i managed to get myself a job this year at a tech startup and they actually developed this developer department just for me..... with the promise that if i manage to get this department up and running I'll get a higher position as the company grows

So it's been 4 months now and i think i'm doing exceptionally well as a developer since I'm the only developer in that organization..... and some how I feel like if i use my problem solving skills to work on other real world problems not just code and designing systems..... like bringing solutions to real none code related problems i could actually achieve more and make a big difference

but I'm actually learning a lot and hope i'll become more and do more within this organization and grab that top position role

!rant
How many Programmers Does it take to Change a Light Bulb?
.
.
.
.
.
None - It's a Hardware Problem

Hmm, so they all want experienced devs. From where are freshers gonna get experience?

My friend who is a computer engineer doesn’t know to code 🥲

I am soooooooooo much bored to start coding again after a small vacation 🥲 Is it the same for all? If so show me a way out 🥲

Personal Opinion - I consider investing in stocks or anything related to that as Gambling. I hate it. Guess someone had a bad experience lol

My team and I worked superrrrr hard for a client and help her build online presence, make graphic designs, motion graphics, Facebook posts, Instagram posts, digitalmarketing. After two weeks, she announced she is shutting her business down. All that hard work was for nothing.

Decent family tree software that's capable of sanely organising photos, letters etc.

I'm sure none actually exists, web based or otherwise.

So php7 deprecated all support for mysql none of my previous projects are working on localhost.Moreover,Ubuntu removed the php5 package from it's latest version . FML.

Now that I've spent a few ineffectual hours too many trying to get it working, I'm starting to think VS Code wasn't built for the purposes I wanted to use it for. I still can't get breakpoints working anywhere close to reliably. And I'd say breakpoints are pretty important.

On a related note, if anyone here has used VS Code together with arm-none-eabi-gdb, I'd love some pointers. I've yet to find any traces on the web of people doing that…

none...

git life !

cowsay.
fucking cowsay.
all the nice models and none of them work.
the things we do when we should be doing something productive.

Overcame Instagram addiction. Now addicted to LinkedIn, Twitter, GitHub and DevRant.

"A lot of people in this business develop huge egos. Why? None of us is curing cancer. None of us is saving babies from burning buildings. We’re just a bunch of overpaid knuckleheads who think up nutty stuff for some other knuckleheads’ products." - Paul Howalt

None yet....

none of youc assumptions are true. i dont own apple and i dont live in that City!

I'm reading a paper book right now, and it's eerie. My brain is desperately looking for pixels but finds none. I feel dizzy.

Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem.

Monday Motivation for Web Developers.

document.getElementsByTagName('html')[0].style.display = "none";

None. I think, I have no other skill I could utilize professionaly.

!rant

I've got 99 problems and my time is none

A few months back, I had this interview with this guy to work at his startup. It was wonderful and he told me that I am hired (during the interview itself!). The position was of an intern as I was to start my co-op. So, to complete all the process with the university, I need offer letter to submit. The guy did not send me one, instead he sent an NDA. I emailed him explaining that I need an offer letter to submit to the university first before I sign any agreement. He stopped replying to my emails.

I had no other option so I contacted my university's co-op committee and explained them the situation. They contacted that guy and after that I get an email saying "We would like to move forward with other candidates".

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH REVENUE TO PAY, DO NOT CONDUCT INTERVIEWS. AND WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY "YOU ARE HIRED IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" MORON

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.

I did it! I crafted and pushed

if filter is not None:
# stuff

to GitHub.

Oh, the shame!

Happy Monday Ya'll, may your code be bug-less and JIRA unfilled.

(I know none of this will happen but damn it dream will you)

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

...

none, it's a hardware issue

So here is my take on a shitty teacher.

I once had a microcontroller teacher, who tried to teach a class of non programmers how to code, from a broken compendium. While he was teaching he would correct errors that he found. Most of the classes would be pure theory on C and no exercises.
Needles to say after the first two semesters none of the students could program, and over half of the class had left the school.

Your lucky number is none

People in slack mentioning the entire channel when it's absolutely none of my business

When you need input from your seniors to run a script in prod and none of them are comming in to work that day :(

the year is 2050. yet another shitty 'note taking app' has be released by New Generic Shitty HypeBro Company™

still none have been profitable

🤡

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. It's a hardware issue

When you expect that your rant is lit and wait for the notifications but it's not and there's none. L0L

So.. playing around with jquerys load() function because I'm trying to implement some updating functionality to a specific div. After researching a bit, it didn't seem like it would be too difficult.. but I could not for the life of me figure out why my template was not displaying! I tried testing with just some basic html and it worked fine. Even took a few snippets from my template and again.. it worked. As soon as I copy/pasted my whole template, the page renders nothing. I was seriously getting frustrated so I started entering the template manually testing each line. It worked until I got to this special div container I made.. went and looked at the css properties for it and..

display: none;

*facepalm*
I forgot I had set it to none because I was using jquerys fadeIn() function xD seriously??

I found a very good tutorial. Follow along. Stuck. Try to find full source code. None

None of my friends want to play Minecraft with me :(

Unit test is close enough.

If WestWorld used ssd instead of flash none of this would have been a problem

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem

<you style="give_fucks: none; friends: false; dick_level: 110%;" />

I just feel like Ranting
Apparently got nothing at the moment

And I found another fucked up page😂😂

How I feel after solving multiple issues for a week
from a none documented project

Dad: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? 
Me: None, that's a hardware problem

Thank you dear God for giving us pointer-events: none;

Some topics are easy
Some are tough
If you understand all
You are the lord
but if you understand none
You are the RAM

So this is the scenario:

A Database Error Occurred: You must use the “set” method to update an entry

This is the code:

$this->db->where('id', $id);

return $this->db->update('contractors', ((array) $contractor));

And it gives me the error A Database Error Occurred: You must use the "set" method to update an entry.