"congratulations son, you are now a certified virgin"

Hilarious dad 😑😢

I PASSED MY ITIL EXAM!!! I'M NOW CERTIFIED TO DO MY JOB!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

*tries to convert a Windows drive into btrfs*
*copies the whole 1.4TB of data back from server*

Windows: Wait, you expect me to do more than browsing the Phasebuk and playing games? Over a million files?! No no no, can't do that.
*reboot after BSOD*
Ehm, a hard drive you say? A drive that I just fucked up? What are you talking about? I don't see any hard drive :/

Piece of shit.

Crappy Arch Linux laptop: ah, I see a new hard drive connected here. Limme mount it real quick for ya :3
Me: eh, not now. I want to format it first.
Linux: oh, cool! Your wish is my command <3
*formats hard drive to btrfs*
Me: alright, now please copy all that 1.4TB onto the drive and please don't overheat _/\_
Linux: Gotcha! On your commands sir!

See the difference? The mental communication level? Windows is like talking to an obnoxious grade schooler that just does whatever the fuck they want to. Linux on the other hand is so much more mature and capable. Guess which one I like the most.

Boss put some kind of Linux professional certification book on my desk today.

I REALLY HOPE I CAN GET CERTIFIED 😍

If you are a developer and the resume you send me says "Certified Web Ninja" on it. I will invite you to an interview. But keep in mind, if you don't show up wearing all black and carrying a Katana, I will throat punch you and send you on your way.

Dev: I think we should send Dev2 for some training and certification

Manager: We do not train people or have them certified. When you train people and especially if you have them certified they always leave the company for better offers so we no longer do that.

Dev: So the plan is to have a the company operated by a bunch of untrained uncertified people?

Manager: 😡 You are being disrespectful again

I read your CV and i called you for this interview but now i see that you are not qualified for this position.
You have to be certified by CISCO as a Software Developer.

That was the moment I knew he is a fucktard.

So I'm officially python certified :)
I passed the Python MTA Test

Certified enganeers!
Spaghetti masters!!
Those who dev in prod!!!
Push to master!!!
The "it's a feature" assholes!
The Madman Muntz misers!

The computer science and engineering fields are filled to the brim with fakers, phony's and Python Lords. I try to fight them every time but they outnumber me. Apparently money is more attractive than expressing your own passion.

Dear Microsoft,

What kind of braindead fucking moron thought that implying that dragging the mouse ever so slightly within the same folder with files selected MUST mean that the user wants to copy shit?!

What kind of braindead fucking moron thought that making conhost use Return for copying text and right click for pasting it was a good idea, and make the keybinding unmodifiable?!!

What kind of braindead fucking moron designed this shitty abomination of shit OS?!

*listens to some music over the Bluetooth headset in Groove on Windows*
*walks off to the bathroom*
> Please recharge headset
…
Which in Sony-speak means "reached cut-off voltage, you'd better recharge this fucking thing because we will power off now, rendering the warning completely useless!*
Me: "oh dear it's 5:30AM and my speakers are set to full blast"

*rushes off to the bedroom to pause Groove*
*walks back to the bathroom*

Then I started thinking, you know Microsoft.. on my phones I never had this issue since the Samsung Corby. Android has supported pausing media playback on headset disconnect for about a decade now. Maybe Microsoft Certified Enganeers could look at how the competition has solved an issue and IMPLEMENT THE FUCKING FEATURE ALREADY?!

But no, you've got that IE reputation to hold high. Sorry, I forgot.

MICROSHIT!!!!!!

I interviewed a guy with quite a few years of experience, university studies from a first world country, very long CV with stuff that he did, most of it relevant to the job, and 5-6 certifications, 2 of which relevant to the job, which would qualify him as an expert (as he himself declared in the CV), of a higher qualification than mine, but less experience.

Welp, if we're gonna hire someone with a higher salary, from whom I am to learn, I better come up with an interesting, but simple to understand problem, relevant to the position, that I would solve in 30 minutes, and give him 2h (surprise factor, unpreparedness, nervousness should be considered).

40 minutes in and I understand that there is lots of doing, lots of code, but the guy has no idea what he's doing.
I simplify the problem, remove the complicated bit. Turning it into a "business case description" of an entry level problem.
...
Same shit. In 20 minutes, zero progress. At this point the solution should be exactly 4 short lines of code. He gives me 50 that produce a completely wrong result, and he has no idea why.

I simplify further. I explicitly express the problem as the entry-level problem that it is - to count the number of interactions on the website in a specific day. That's it.
10 minutes more pass. I don't know why I'm wasting my time. Maybe I just want to be polite. Maybe I want to eliminate all doubt that it's not something else.
Nope.
He couldn't even react to my explanation of why he got the wrong result, and that all he had to do is move some stuff around.

Certifications, experts, universities.

What the fuck people? Can't we be simpler, and instead be knowledgeable? The time it took him to write that list of certifications, he could've learned how to solve this problem from any introductory course.

Passed my AWS Certified Solutions Architect Associate with 919/1000! 🎉

3 rants for the price of 1, isn't that a great deal!

1. HP, you braindead fucking morons!!!

So recently I disassembled this HP laptop of mine to unfuck it at the hardware level. Some issues with the hinge that I had to solve. So I had to disassemble not only the bottom of the laptop but also the display panel itself. Turns out that HP - being the certified enganeers they are - made the following fuckups, with probably many more that I didn't even notice yet.

- They used fucking glue to ensure that the bottom of the display frame stays connected to the panel. Cheap solution to what should've been "MAKE A FUCKING DECENT FRAME?!" but a royal pain in the ass to disassemble. Luckily I was careful and didn't damage the panel, but the chance of that happening was most certainly nonzero.
- They connected the ribbon cables for the keyboard in such a way that you have to reach all the way into the spacing between the keyboard and the motherboard to connect the bloody things. And some extra spacing on the ribbon cables to enable servicing with some room for actually connecting the bloody things easily.. as Carlos Mantos would say it - M-m-M, nonoNO!!!
- Oh and let's not forget an old flaw that I noticed ages ago in this turd. The CPU goes straight to 70°C during boot-up but turning on the fan.. again, M-m-M, nonoNO!!! Let's just get the bloody thing to overheat, freeze completely and force the user to power cycle the machine, right? That's gonna be a great way to make them satisfied, RIGHT?! NO MOTHERFUCKERS, AND I WILL DISCONNECT THE DATA LINES OF THIS FUCKING THING TO MAKE IT SPIN ALL THE TIME, AS IT SHOULD!!! Certified fucking braindead abominations of engineers!!!

Oh and not only that, this laptop is outperformed by a Raspberry Pi 3B in performance, thermals, price and product quality.. A FUCKING SINGLE BOARD COMPUTER!!! Isn't that a great joke. Someone here mentioned earlier that HP and Acer seem to have been competing for a long time to make the shittiest products possible, and boy they fucking do. If there's anything that makes both of those shitcompanies remarkable, that'd be it.

2. If I want to conduct a pentest, I don't want to have to relearn the bloody tool!

Recently I did a Burp Suite test to see how the devRant web app logs in, but due to my Burp Suite being the community edition, I couldn't save it. Fucking amazing, thanks PortSwigger! And I couldn't recreate the results anymore due to what I think is a change in the web app. But I'll get back to that later.

So I fired up bettercap (which works at lower network layers and can conduct ARP poisoning and DNS cache poisoning) with the intent to ARP poison my phone and get the results straight from the devRant Android app. I haven't used this tool since around 2017 due to the fact that I kinda lost interest in offensive security. When I fired it up again a few days ago in my PTbox (which is a VM somewhere else on the network) and today again in my newly recovered HP laptop, I noticed that both hosts now have an updated version of bettercap, in which the options completely changed. It's now got different command-line switches and some interactive mode. Needless to say, I have no idea how to use this bloody thing anymore and don't feel like learning it all over again for a single test. Maybe this is why users often dislike changes to the UI, and why some sysadmins refrain from updating their servers? When you have users of any kind, you should at all times honor their installations, give them time to change their individual configurations - tell them that they should! - in other words give them a grace time, and allow for backwards compatibility for as long as feasible.

3. devRant web app!!

As mentioned earlier I tried to scrape the web app's login flow with Burp Suite but every time that I try to log in with its proxy enabled, it doesn't open the login form but instead just makes a GET request to /feed/top/month?login=1 without ever allowing me to actually log in. This happens in both Chromium and Firefox, in Windows and Arch Linux. Clearly this is a change to the web app, and a very undesirable one. Especially considering that the login flow for the API isn't documented anywhere as far as I know.

So, can this update to the web app be rolled back, merged back to an older version of that login flow or can I at least know how I'm supposed to log in to this API in order to be able to start developing my own client?

[Certified CMS Of Doom™ moment]
Ah yes, the good old "generate a huge CSV just to know how many rows there are"

YES ! I am Xamarin Certified Mobile Developer! 🎉🙌🎉
This was really a great journey for me, a lot of new stuff learned. I need to say thanks to all great Xamarin University lecturers about the great content.

My dad was a Novell Certified Engineer and my mom a Bachelor in Computer Systems, so I kinda admired them until one tragic day my dad suggested "Hey son why don't you make it using Access".

I once asked my database teacher whether he is certified on any database system or not and he said if I was then why would I be a teacher !!!

The deeper I dig into HP's designs, the more I realize how amazing they are.

- Let's put 18.5V on our charger label
- Let's make it actually put out 20V, just because 🤪
(Note: this is a SMPS, not one of those old linear ones where that's normal)
- Let's make our charger output positive on not only 1 line, but also a second smaller one, just because. All the while the thicker line is more than capable enough, and the same size as the negative line.
(So essentially there's 2 positives, one negative)
- Fuck conventional wiring colors (red for positive, black for negative). Let's awaken our 'murican patriotism and make positive black, and negative white.
- Oh those are the colors for American AC lines and not DC lines? I had no idea! But look, I have a shiny piece of paper and you don't so your concern is invalid!

I lost more brain cells from these realizations than I would from a whole night of binge drinking. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU HP?!!

In electronics there's 3 options.
1. You pay a small fortune to get something decent.
2. You pay a smaller fortune to get crap.
3. You build it yourself and it'll be nicely priced AND decent.

Why is that? I have no idea. Profiteering gluttons perhaps.

Case in point: my watch. A waterproof one, so you'd expect to be able to take it in the shower, which I often did.
But then, le wild drop from 50cm height occurred and the whole thing just popped open, with soapy water rushing in. Luckily it didn't short out, and I quickly evacuated it out of the shower and dipped it with my towel.

Then already I thought.. what the fuck is wrong with the designers of this thing?! I'm all for keeping the inner parts of electronics accessible for self-servicing. But in a waterproof watch you wouldn't expect the backside to pop right off and expose the bloody internals, would you? So that's one thing. While evacuating it I quickly figured that I'd want to remove the battery immediately.. except that fucking thing was screwed in place?! WHAT THE FUCK?!! Use those screws to keep the fucking backside of the watch in place you certified pieces of shit that designed this craptacular piece of garbage!!!

Finished showering, went ahead and troubleshooted the thing. Miraculously it still worked. Except that now the UI of the fucking thing is biting me in the ass. A single button on the watch is used to operate the whole thing, and get it to set itself to the correct time, get radio signal, go in sleep mode (where the watch stops ticking, for storage purposes) and activate itself again. So I dived into the manual.. and still couldn't get it to work properly. So it's got one button just like an iPhone, it craps itself when it's dropped just like an iPhone, its design is shit just like an iPhone, and it's completely unusable when it craps itself just like an iPhone.

And the manual... Oh fucking shit. It specifies that the watch is 3 bar water resistant, yet apparently you can't take it into the shower. 3 FUCKING BAR!!! That's supposed to enable you to take a fucking dive with it! And apparently you can't drop it either.. who would've thought, when they lock it with no more than outwards pressure from the back plate into the main body! How difficult can it be to use fucking screws, and to make it watertight put some rubber bands or whatever?!

CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

And the watch, it's in the garbage can right now. Right where it belongs!!

What kind of cum gargling gerbil shelfer stores and transmits user passwords in plain text, as well as displays them in the clear, Everywhere!

This, alongside other numerous punishable by death, basic data and user handling flaws clearly indicate this fucking simpleton who is "more certified than you" clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about any kind of best practice that if the extra time was taken to implement, might not totally annihilate the company in lawsuits when several big companies gang up to shower rape us with lawsuits over data breaches.

Even better than that is the login fields don't even differentiate between uppercase or lowercase, I mean WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS IGNORANT CUNTS THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS SCENARIO?

Wannabe college coder starter pack:
1) SUN Certified JAVA Programmer
2) W3Schools Certificate
3) I know all computer languages
4) I'm going to Join Google by the end of college.

What kind of braindead motherfucker at Google thought that it's a good idea to update the bus departures in real-time based on the current time and the departure of your first bus?! No Google, I didn't miss that first bus. I took it and now I have to transfer. Ever heard of that, certified motherfucker?! You don't have to reschedule the departures of my next busses to a later time for that!!

I've just disassembled this LED floodlight that I bought a while ago. It's some stupid little cheapie from a dollar store, so I figured that there'd be shit inside. But I wanted that LED cob.. a power LED :3

Well, shit wasn't too far off from the truth. The component choice is reasonable, but the design of the bloody thing.. batshit insane. The LED floodlight is powered by 4 AAA batteries, connected in series. So 6VDC. That then goes into this little tactile pushbutton, into the LED cob and then a 4.7 ohm resistor.

Well that's a pretty easy circuit.. let's remove the batteries and the casement, and put it on the lab bench power supply. Probes connected to the circuit with only the resistor and the LED cob in between (I didn't want to deal with the switch). Power supply set to 6V, current limiting to 500mA, contact!! And it works, amazing! So I let it run for a while to see that nothing gets too hot.. hah. After a minute or so, smoke would come out.. LED cob was a bit warm to the touch but nothing too bad. But the resistor.. I could cook water on it if I wanted to! 100 fucking °C, and rising. What the F yo?!

So I figured that I didn't want to put the resistor in between there. Just the LED cob now, which apparently has a forward voltage somewhere between 3.2V and 3.3V depending on how I set the current (500mA and 600mA respectively). Needed a bigger heatsink though, so I jammed one of my aluminium heatsinks on there. And it worked great! Very bright too, as it takes between 1.6 and 2W of power. Just for a comparison, the lighting in my living room is 4x5W and the ones on top of my dining table are 2x3W (along with some TL bar that my landlord put there.. fluorescent I think). So yeah, 2W is quite a lot for an LED, especially when it's all concentrated into one tiny spot.

That said, back to the original design with the resistor. 2 questions I have for that moron that designed this crap. First, why use a resistor for a power LED?! They needlessly waste power, and aren't good choices for anything that consumes more than 100mA. You should use PWM for these purposes, or tune your voltage on the supply side. Second, why go with 6V when your forward voltage is 3.3 at most? Wouldn't it make more sense to use 3 batteries with 4.5V? Ah, but I know the answer to the second one. AAA cells aren't rated for high loads like this. So that's likely why the alkaline cells that I had in there before have started leaking. Thanks, certified piece of shit!

Honestly, consumer electronics are such a joke... At least there's some components that I can salvage from this crap. Mainly the LED cob, but also the resistor and the tactile pushbutton perhaps.

One last remark that I'd like to make. This floodlight was cheap garbage. But considering that you can't do it well at that price, you just shouldn't do it. You know why? Because consumers always go for the cheapest. Makes a lot of money to build at rock bottom prices and make shit, but it damages the whole industry, since now the good designs will go out of business. That's why consumer electronics is so full of crap nowadays. Some unethical profiteering gluttons saw money, and they replaced the whole assortment with nothing but garbage. I'm sure that there's a special place in hell for that kind of people.

Made the mistake of mentioning ISO27001 security standard near management.

- "What?? Why don't we have that certificate?! Why are you not thinking about this?"
- "We don't need it."
- "Of course we do! we must have the highest standards!! Lets hire some lawyers and security consultants to help us get certified!"

A week later:
"Ok, turns out we don't need it."

Satan give me strength...

*wondered for 4 years how a bootloop looks like*
Nexus: yOU wAnE kNoW wHaT a BoOtLoOp LoOkS LiKe?!

*bootloops itself to shit*

Well I guess that I know what I'll be doing tonight then. Flash that new StatixOS build because the phone shat itself.

*tries to reflash the recovery*
*still bootloops*
*tries to flash the stock OS*
*still fucking bootloops*
*finds a post on XDA saying something about fucked big cores that need to be disabled*

Fucking piece of junk. So not only the battery is shit, but also the CPU is shit, huh. Certified pieces of shit.

*flashes the patched boot.img that disables the big cores*
*phone loads Google logo.. good*
*BOOTLOOPS FUCKING AGAIN*

MJHUIETHNIUBESZPTUIBG ESVGU d

FUCK!!! Fuck you Google, fuck you Nexus, fuck you Huawei, HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE TO DESIGN A FUCKING PHONE?!!!

So yeah. Looking for suggestions for a new phone. Anything of which the kernel source is released and of which the battery is halfway decent (unlike this fucking piece of shit) should do.

Me: "Concierge, I have noticed this issue with live potential on ground a couple of months ago, just a friendly reminder that this still hasn't been fixed."
Concierge: "Well yeah this building is certified (god I hate that word) so whatever measurements you've taken, it doesn't mean anything when it isn't done by the electricians."
M: "Aha, back to that piece of paper huh.. taking measurements requires a piece of paper these days, doesn't it."
C: "Glad you're quick on the uptake."
M: "Well I have the brains in my head to do a proper measurement without dying, and the numbers don't lie."
C: "What do you think that the landlord is going to say? I'm sure you still remember that email "DON'T TOUCH THE ELECTRICITY!""
C: "And remember that she'll probably rather file a complaint against you than to let an electrician come check it, because the latter costs money for something that's already certified."
M: "Well that sucks..."
C: "The certified electricians certified this building. Your hands are pretty much tied."
M: …

*walks off in frustration*

Now, as for the rant. *inhales deeply*

YOU KNOW WHERE YOU CAN SHOVE THAT PIECE OF PAPER?! DOWN YOUR FUCKING ASS! WHAT DOES A FUCKING PIECE OF PAPER MEAN TO JUSTIFY WRONGDOING?! WHAT DOES IT FUCKING MEAN WHEN IT ISN'T BACKED BY A FUCKING BRAIN?!

Yet I apparently can't do anything, because I refuse to certify myself. Now you know why I fucking hate certified enganeers, and why I use that word. The piece of paper doesn't mean shit when you can't back it with an actual fucking brain. And requiring a certificate to do stupid shit, even for changing a fucking light bulb, or a switch or an outlet or whatever. Certified enganeers, because fuckers like that don't deserve to be called engineers. You know what, certified motherfuckers? FUCK YOU!! I can change it myself and I don't (shouldn't) need a bloody fucking certificate for that!!

Just disassembled 2 €5 desk fans because they were shit.. and so is their design apparently.

What I found inside was actually surprisingly simple.. a toddler could build it. It's just a DC motor, a 3PDT switch, DC barrel connector, some wires and screws to hold stuff in place. Oh and the plastic thingie with the fan blades, as well as the USB cable of course.

5 fucking euros. The combined cost of the components would be less than 3, certified motherfuckturers. Time to build it, injection moulding, transportation, sure.. but still.

And if you think that being salty about €5 is cheap shittalk, expand that to every fucking piece of electronics that doesn't cost a small fortune.. at all price ranges. Could be radios, alarm clocks, heck even phones. Shit's way too expensive for what it's worth. Perhaps because so many people in the industry are just here for a quick buck.. motherfuckers 😒

Anyway, back to the design.. the hole in the fan blade thingie is supposed to get the motor's shaft shafted in, to turn the blades. I'd use glue there.. but not these designers. They just shove it in and hope that friction takes care of everything. And one of the fan blade modules' hole was so wide that inserting the motor is like throwing a sausage down the hallway. No contact at all! Make it tight already like the Chinese designer's glory-...
Nah let's not get into Chinese tightness just yet.

Oh and also a resistor for slow mode. Consumes just as much power except the fan turns slower. Because fuck efficiency, right?

Goddammit, next time I'm just gonna build my own again.. at least that wouldn't be a certified piece of shit 😑

Great... Just spent so much time on unfucking that HP turd that I don't have the energy anymore to rant about the many certified brainfarts that I saw in there - such as gluing the bezel onto the LCD, placement of ribbon cables etc. Thanks HP -.-

And no I'm not gonna design and mass-produce an alternative without any flaws, just to support my own criticism towards certain design choices.

!rant

Boss set me up for a last minute certification to prepare for next years new projects. Went through a lot of material in just two days, then had to take the exam immediately after the last class ahead of everyone else. Aced it!^^

What surprised me the most though is how much I still enjoy learning new stuff (wasn't even tech), even after 8 yrs on the job..

So lately I've been seeing a lot of hate towards languages like C, C++ and java.

Someone at work literally said go would replace C++ and that anyone still using it is a dinosaur.

He said no one uses this languages anymore.

Am I just being left behind or are most real time devs not using C et al anymore.

I mean c++ has a 2017 update and we work with devices for aviation and the like that need to be certified I don't see go becoming our main language anytime soon.

I'm not saying go isn't a good language I'm just saying the others aren't at the point where we take them out back and shoot them.

I dont know if I should hate it or love it that I had to teach "certified microsoft engineers" about how Exchange works.

WanBLowS: We're adding some extra features!!!
Me: Oh great! Can't wait for it!
*gets up from bed to mash that power button*
Me: DIE MOTHERFUCKER, AND FUCK THAT SHITTY FEATURE!!!

So I just received this second DSP5005 DC-DC programmable power supply. Time to make an enclosure for the thing!! 3 power supplies totaling at around 1kW, and 2 variables connected to the 50V 10A one, through external banana wires (I want all of this to be modular). No biggie, take measurements for the AC-DC supplies, add in the variables on the front, and cut it out.

So, I went and did just that. Now my 500W (50V 10A) supply is a bit larger than the others, and it's got a fan. So I figured, well then probably my 24V 8.3A (200W) and 12V 15A (180W) supplies could use some cooling as well. But how am I going to achieve passive cooling without a spacing between the supplies?! So I thought of some spacer design. It had to be out of wood, and I had some 4mm MDF and some IKEA parts around. So, 4mm MDF for the plate and 8mm wood spacers from IKEA for the spacing. And some super glue to hold it all together.

Weighing my power supplies against a 1l bottle of milk, it seems like my power supplies are ~500g. Great, so the top spacer would take 500g and the bottom one 1kg + the weight of the top spacer.

I ended up building one plate with 6 spacers in it yesterday, until I got too tired. Then I placed my entire weight against it, 20kg at least. It didn't budge. Pretty good for something that's only designed to withstand a 1kg load!!

So, I made something good with only a 10x18cm piece of MDF, some garbage from IKEA, and most importantly a bit of a brain. Something that can handle 20x its designed load no problem. Manufacturers, is it really right to produce shit when I can beat your manufacturing processes big time without an assembly line?!

My tablet is lying on a table 2m away from me and I have to install a new app.. but I don't want to get out of my couch ffs! And I haven't configured dropbear in it yet, and neither do I have adb over TCP/IP. Well fuck it then. My desktop with BlueStacks.. hah, it's running fucking WanBLowS. No remote access there. Too much to ask of that certified pile of crap.

But the point is.. moar remotes, moar better 😋 anything to not have to stand up, taught by my ability to log into a server in Italy from the comfort of my couch. SSH and the sysadmin trade sure is nothing short of amazing ♥️

YouTube, why the fuck do you put ads at the end of the video? Who's gonna watch those?! I'm not a marketer but I do know that people watch ads in expectation of something better. Who.. who the fuck thought this would be a good idea?! Fire that certified piece of shit marketing cunt already! What the fuck is even wrong with you nowadays Google?! Pinnacle of tech company my ass.

New feature on the Cuntbook. Want to write a post to a page? Poof, and it's gone! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING FEATURE!!! BILLION DOLLAR FUCKING COMPANY!!!

CERTIFIED MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Oh and just to load our pages it takes 20 seconds. Because fuck you, this is Web 2.0. FUCK!!!

What is it with over qualified, over certified consultants that go around spouting "best practises", and then come delivery time, have the most absurd bullshit that a junior with 3 weeks of knowledge in a particular subject would know what you just served up is nothing more then a pile of shit that will not be deployed even if your livelihood depended on it.

... Monday gonna be fun!

Certified Enganeers: 0, Internet Connectivity Issues: 1

Those idiots couldn't even understand why I'd connected a second router (a DLink DIR 816) for better WiFi than their default garbage modem/router. And one of them told me that he'd login to the router by "putting the address in Google" (and proceeded to type 192.168.1.251 in the search bar, after I explained to him that Firefox was a browser too, just like Chrome -.-)

And they didn't even fix the problem, which is most probably on their end since everything checks out here. Brilliant. More shitty 3G/4G for me.

YOU CERTIFIED PIECES OF CRAP

So yeah, we released our app for 26k people to use two days ago. Due to circumstances not under our control, that was developed way faster than it should've. Today we're two days in and everything is going horrible. 26 thousand people are having trouble using it (not every problem is our fault, but ofc they don't give a shit) and our support team is not big enough to handle every request. We're not able to find any more people to help us handle it, so some developers are being used for support. But that slows the bugfixes a lot. We're at risk of losing our jobs because we will not be able to make it work in due time.

In Italy, at the beginning of the year a particular type of invoice became necessary and to handle that everyone needs a particular kind of email called "certified", you know, because Italy, and today our certified email server went offline for the whole fucking day because the provider was an overload of feces. We were overwhelmed by the amount of people that needed help.

I don't even know what to say, if we don't fix it we're fucking fucked, like literally.

I really hope everyone is having a nice new year. For us, this is going terrible.

I just gave robocopy another try, in order to get my WanBLowS D: drive and my file server synchronized again, in preparation to move that file server VM to a LXC container instead.. bad choice. I should've used rsync in WSL.

Hey you Not so Robust File Copier for WanBLowS, how many attempts of you fucking up my file server's dotfiles does it take before I configure you right with every fucking option you have specified? How about you actually behave somewhat decently like rsync where -avz works 99% of the time, in local, remote, any scenarios that you can think of that aren't super obscure?! HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE, REDMOND CERTIFIED ENGANEERS?!!

Drown in a pond of bleach, Microshit certified MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

Well, at least this time it didn't fuck up my .ssh directory so I can still authenticate to the VM.. so I guess that at least that's a win. Even that you can't take for granted anymore with this piece of garbage!!!

Oh GODDAMIT Nexus!!!

You gotta love it when you're in a hurry, unlock the fucking phone while it is plugged in to the goddamn charger, and the bloody thing just fucking shuts down because the battery is apparently empty. WHEN YOU HAVE A FUCKING 15 WATT CHARGING CABLE STUFFED UP YOUR BUTT?!!

You know Google, if I wanted an iPhone battery with tons of little "features", don't you think that I would've bought a fucking iPhone?!

!rant && questionTime

I can usually work these things out but if their are any Salesforce devs lingering around, is it worth investing time into becoming a certified dev for the platform?

A lot of companies seem to be migrating over so that would potentially set me up for greater role choices no?

Agile: ✅

Agile practices: ✅

Certified Agile practitioners: ❌😡 powerpoint jockeys 👺💥⚡️failed programmers 💩 timewasting idiots 😥

*WanBLowS shits itself as usual in BSOD*
FEATUREFUL FUCKING JOKE OF AN OPERATING SYSTEM..!!!! How about you do the only thing that you're good at - casual shit like letting me watch a fucking anime! - and do it properly?! Yes there's an rsync from btrfs to btrfs going on in the background - because yes I fucking detest your joke of a filesystem called NTFS!! Should that even matter?! ONE FUCKING JOB!!!

Meanwhile my tablet, a fucking €120 cheapie!! It can stay up and running - stable! - for fucking weeks in a row, only taken down by me forgetting to charge the bloody thing every few days. But yeah it's gotta be a hardware issue, it's gotta be an obscure setup. NO IT'S A FUCKING CRAPTACULAR SHIT OS!!! If only those Microshit certified enganeers would write a goddamn line of DECENT CODE!!!

(As for anyone who doesn't know already that I've tried countless times to convert this turd to Linux.. It's an Intel + Nvidia GPU hybrid and it doesn't even boot a Linux live session. Believe me, I've tried.)

watching the online course for CEH... dude used the Death Star as a tangible example of how exploits work.
IDK if I should love it for the nerdiness, or be slightly sad that someone needs that type of example of what a vulnerability vs an exploit is, when they're going for the Certified Ethical Hacker certification...
Might be better in an introduction to Network Security class?

Also, while discussing the security, usability, and functionality triangle, he reference the Staples "Easy Button" - does one thing, not very secure, and not very functional (in that it has more than one function)...

OMG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I just got an email from HackerRank saying they awarded me a certification...

I wonder what it is done I haven't been on there for at least a year...or two...

It turns out I am certified for basic problem solving....

Hm.... 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Bad thing: I spilled booze on my fabrics yet again. I probably shouldn't drink from the couch or the bed anymore.
Good thing: I found out how to disassemble my tablet and removed its cameras.
Bad thing: front cam couldn't be removed without damaging some traces for a coax connection.
Bad thing: during disassembly I noticed significant amounts of corporate "fuck you" and certified enganeering. Like allowing the rubber back plates of the tablet to come off, but not get back on without percussive maintenance!!! FUCKING CERTIFIED PIECES OF SHIT!!!
Good thing: even after a lot of Tappy-tap-tap, the tablet still works without a problem. Hopefully I can now save some others from the shitstains by posting about it on the XDA thread 🤔

Overall verdict: FUCK!!!

I thought I'd opened every shitty type of Chinese-grade electronics by now. Glued in shit, ultrasonically welded shit, potted shit. And occasionally the now very rare piece of electronics that has actual screws.

Until now. Remington, apparently yet another company filled with certified enganeers. My razor is from them, and I wanted to open it up to see why the lithium cell inside was failing, and to replace it with a bigger one. 2 screws in the back of the unit, Phillips head. But holy fuck, those things sat in there more tightly than the glory hole of the Asian girl that probably assembled this thing. Externalizing our own features in our craft? Check!

Pretty hard to remove them but that's fine. But the unit didn't open up, and there seems to be no screws left. I guess that they leveled up their level of certified enganeering and actually used both screws and ultrasonic welding. Because why wouldn't you, right?!

Motherfuckers.

A recruiter who claims in his signature "Certified in Sourcing Ninja Black-Belt in Internet Recruitment" [sic] offered me a Java Developer position. Guess what? I'm no Java Developer at all.

JavaScript Certified 😎🤓 its an MTA but still i got it on the first try even though i havent programmed in JS in a year 😅

CERTIFIED FUCKING ENGANEERS!!!

Facebook 2FA:
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.

Facebook Marketplace:
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!

Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.

Strippin' and renovatin' my kitchen,
Finding skeletons in the walls,
They drilled right through powered wire,
When central heating was installed.

3 more screw-pierced wires
Hiding behind the dry-wall,
how the hell was this certified?
Amateurs

Just now when I'm watching one of the many anime's I've saved onto my file server I noticed something.. all of their files are incomplete, and so are they on the NTFS mirror on this WanBLowS host. The files got corrupted. I recall that I used robocopy to place the files back and forth, and yet again it lives up to its expectations of it being a motherfucking piece of Winshit. FUCK YOU ROBOCOPY!!! If I wanted to fetch that anime yet again just to deal with your developers' incompetence, I'd have watched it online!! Meanwhile tell me, HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO DEAL WITH A NETWORK FILE TRANSFER THAT EVEN USES YOUR OWN SHITFEST OF A PROTOCOL, FUCKING SMB?!! MSFT certified pieces of shit!!!!

Today I laughed so hard watching various Windows Scammer Pranks on youtube

Scammers calling themselves Certified Windows Genius 😂😂😂

Just type "Indian Scammer" on YouTube and enjoy..

Ps: I am an Indian too and I am very ashamed of all these scammers

Hanging up your girlfriends call when suddenly sn algo strikes ur head... thats when you are a certified coder

How important is a degree to get a decent career in IT? Also must you be certified in all the languages?

I bought a Thinkpad E470 laptop for my wife' bday. Because she loves Linux, My first obvious choice was a Thinkpad. I chose the model from Ubuntu Certified Laptop list and installed Ubuntu 16.04 (Based on their recommendation)

now:
THE FUCKING UBUNTU IS UNABLE TO DETECT WI-FI ADAPTOR. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THINKING WHEN YOU PUT THE LAPTOP MODEL ON THAT FUCKING STUPID LIST? I WANT TO EXACTLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE THINKING AND WHY YOU UPGRADED YOUR FUCKING KERNEL WITHOUT REVIEWING YOUR FUCKING LIST?

AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK LENOVO THOUGHT WHEN THEY RECOMMEND UBUNTU. WHY THEY STILL SELL THIS SHIT BASED ON THINKPAD' REPUTATION AND WHY THEY STILL SUGGEST THIS IS A LAPTOP FOR DEVELOPERS? NO THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE IS NOT FOR ME. IT'S DESIGNED FOR MASTERBATION WITHOUT INTERNET! BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABLE TO CONNECT TO INTERNET! YOUR MOTHER FUCKERS.
GARBAGE

Any idea how to make a fan in an HP laptop spin at lower temperatures? The fan in my Pavilion dm-1 only starts spinning when CPU reaches 75°C and enters full speed when the GPU also becomes 75°C. Which is strange because this CPU and GPU are one and the same thing.. an APU. And overheating freezes often happen at around 75-80°C.. which isn't too much of a headroom really. I'd rather have it kick in at 50-60°C already, but would like to avoid using the power of the soldering iron for it.. I've already lost a fan to that previously (current one is a spare part from AliExpress). Granted, my soldering experience was much less back then.. nowadays I can probably even solder 1206 SMD packages comfortably. But I don't want to risk it, and I've got experience with custom kernels anyway.. are there any fan speed governors in the kernel that you know of?

FWIW, fancontrol doesn't seem to be supported on this laptop, and neither is pwmconfig. Perhaps I'll have to stick to the electronics method after all? Given that it's just a 5V fan, I guess that I could feed it power by tapping some power from a USB rail and controlling its speed from an ATtiny85.. but inside the laptop there isn't enough space for that and I don't feel like freeing this hardware out of its laptop chassis yet (though that is on the list). Either way running at 60°C under no load is terrible.. some HP certified enganeering "feature" I guess...

Today I attended the first half of the WhiteHat challenge at CERN :) one more to go to be a certified pentester! I expected lots of learning, and my expectations were not let down, game on!

RedHat Certified Expert in Virtualization

There should be a basic qualification for getting certified as a trainer or a teacher.

This one dude is trying to give us knowledge about advanced C++ and I shit you not, he thinks the best way to engage with the audience is just read monotonously off a PowerPoint and saying "am I right?" in 5 minute intervals.

Can't wait for this day to get over and then finally I am free ffs

Officially Azure az-900 certified! 🙂

One more step to go from third world to first hopefully?

I was passing through a street where I found a sign board that said "Linux installation certified course"

What has the world come to these days?

Me: I would like to receive external training for RHCSA course and certification

Company: Sure! we will open a ticket for you and keep you posted

Me: it's been almost 3 months, could you give me any updates?

Company: Oh actually you are not eligible! this certification is not aligned with your job description!

Me: But...I use linux every single day and it's one of the main requirements to be able to do my job?

Company: Yeah whatever no need to get certified still..!

Me: Why didn't you tell me that 3 months ago?

Company: Well the process was changed and we decided this certification does not match your profile

Me: What matches my profile then?

Company: certificates in Azure and GCP

Me: But I don't ever use those platforms?

Company: ......

Me: ......

I want a boring software developer job. I’ve been working for software consulting companies since the beginning. And is just so stressful. Clients always ranting, the need to always be in the cutting edge, or even the complete opposite. There’s always pressure to get certified in X o Y. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to be constantly catching up with the latest stack or framework. I want a boring job. A slow-paced job maybe maintain some old hunk of software that does not give too much trouble. I’m tired of putting down fires all the time. Of running against the clock to deliver a meaningless app. Because all this apps don’t contribute to anything in the world. Just more clutter, more bloat. I just want to work 8 to 5 and be done with it. Just throw myself in the couch after it and play some games. Maybe do some gardening. Or bread. I love bread. Don’t you love bread?

Not everyone can code, even those who are certified to say they can. True for school and work.

Adventures with house IT

I'm currently experimenting with PowerShell but my scripts won't run even though I've got every local permission. The error message indicates it's a GPO problem.
"No problem" le me thinks and calls IT hotline.
After 2 incompetent and unprofessional technicians i've still got no solution. I'm waiting for the second tech to call back because he "needed some time to get to know PowerShell" (he is a trained and certified SysAdmin).
During my call he couldn't decide if it was a GPO problem or not.
And this is just one story of their incompetence...

We're sorry, but you're not certified to use THAT API Call. Certification takes 6 - 10 weeks.

My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:

SQL
IT-Security
Project Management
PHP

I'm curious about your suggestions ;)

"Our side is certified, yours is not" ... they yelled from their ivory tower.

Then why does your side send unreasonable responses after a few dozen identical requests and doesn't respond at all shortly after?
Maybe because the certification tests only cover 10-15 requests consecutively?

Certify my ass...

I am now a certified "Microsoft Technology Associate for Database Fundamentals". 😁🎉 Had to do this certification for my "Berufsausbildung".

Just passed AWS certified developer associate.
Does anyone care about this in real life?

Company is about to get certified to ISO 9001:

Kick-off meeting with consultant announced weeks ago, mandatory for all employees.
Everyone is kind of joking about it, but also looking forward to certain workflows maybe changing to the better.

Two hours before meeting, told by CTO not to attend.

Some code I hadn't touched for half a year needs urgent patching to make the equipment pass EMC test (doing so within a few hours would help us save the lab cost for another day of testing).

When they applied RF noise to the bus lines, the CAN peripheral would glitch and need reset, this should happen covertly the first few times without raising any error to the user, so they could just finish the testing without being disturbed by the error - and the EMC lab will not test the functionality of the device after all.

The irony when you were actually supposed to learn about quality that day...

Hi guys, I got some questions for you:
I'm a 17 years old guy from south Italy with 5 years of programming experience, mainly with Java and Kotlin. Since finding a well paid job here is soooo hard (especially when it comes to IT), I will surely go to another country (England, Sweden, Denmark and Norway in my list) once I get my scientific high school diploma. Here are the questions:
1) I have very high skills on JavaFX, both front-end and back-end. Is JavaFX commonly used in companies? Or should I move to other technologies like Android?
2) Will my diploma (plus a good amount of open source projects) be enough to find a job?
3) What certified English level is commonly required in these countries?

After an year of not giving up, finally got a certificate. I am a certified developer now, how cool is that 😎😁

I did it.

Had my final exam today.
Presentation and technical project defense both A-!

I'm officially now a certified IT specialist for application development.
(Rough translation from German "Fachinformatiker für Anwendungsentwicklung"

Signing the contract tomorrow and genuinely looking forward to the future for once.

How to Hire a Hacker / Crypto Recovery Company to Recover Lost Crypto Asset - Contact OMEGA CRYPTO RECOVERY SPECIALIST

OMEGA CRYPTO RECOVERY SPECIALIST is a professional recovery company that has a team of experienced and certified professionals

Crypto recovery is a complex and technical process that requires expertise and experience. The process involves identifying the source of the problem, tracking down the lost or stolen assets, and recovering them. Professional recovery companies have the necessary tools and resources to recover lost or stolen crypto assets. 

Hiring a professional company like OMEGA CRYPTO RECOVERY SPECIALIST minimizes the risk of further damage to the assets and increases the chances of successful recovery.

( Visit Webpage;  omegarecoveryspecialist .c o m )
Mail; (omegaCryptos@consultant .c o m )
Text / Call ; +1 (701, 660 (04 75 )

Certified Professional Scrum Master - I 😊

First day of job. Im doing jack shit. They just make me watch udemy courses of Azure and linux shell and bash scripting all for devops purposes so they can pay a microsoft certificate for me to pass and get certified and they pay for udemy courses. Im basically getting paid to watch courses on the job

We had a contractor come in claiming to be a certified SAP hybris Dev but he was useless. The weird part was: he refused to use the toilets in the office. We always saw him using the grotty public ones outside. These public toilets were 'well known' in the area shall we say.

Me: Ok, we'll implement that message tech. But since the clients are servers in that architecture and can't speak IPv6 we've to use a dedicated VPN so the endpoint is able to connect to the servers (clients). Since we have limited network resources we should use VPN cert-encryption and send the actual data plain to save at least some overhead.

Boss: Ok! Let's do it!

Next day.

Boss: Hey! I talked to a guy from that message tech. Their encryption is certified. We should use that instead and get rid of the VPN to save the overhead!

Me: *unable to say a word*

What in "VPN in that architecture is mandatory" is unclear?

Well, I assume we'll kill the architecture then... Fun Time!

Some context about me. Close to 3 years experience as a java developer. 1st class honours in Computer science plus oracle java 8 professional certified.

Today while discussing to a senior developer about a technical solution, he asked me a question.

Are you familiar with 'extends'?

He was talking about the keyword. I am so disturbed by it. Here I was thinking I was doing a great job. And he felt the need to verify if I knew inheritance keyword..

God knows what he and his fellow senior colleagues talk about me.. I must be looking like an absolute idiot in their eyes all this time..

I got my first IT related real job. Im cisco certified and bachelor of applied sciences in computer science for 7 years. Programming for like 10 years. I have mixed feelings.

Phoning salespersons:
Me: "we need a new VoIP solution for our office."
Sales: "we're certified"
Me: "we need a new VoIP solution for our office."
Sales: "YOUR WHOLE IT INFRASTRUCTURE IS OUTDATED, UPGRADE ASAP!"

This is why I prefer mails so much over telephoning.

Turns out: Pearson VUE is bad at communication. After I reserved the Microsoft certification exam, it was adjusted with my accommodations. So I didn't entirely die (only a little) and was allowed to have my life saving fidget 'toys' with me and just be myself with my stims.

So after all that hassle, I am now certified Azure developer associate. \o/

Looks good on paper, doesn't solve the problem of getting through the project interviews. (To normies, I seem ever so slightly off and the natural instinct is to perceive me as a liar.)

Im now certified to play with Lego.

For my local dev, set up my own root CA, added to trusted root CA in my machine, generated a cert for my local domain, signed by my own root CA, but the behavior is different across browsers:

Can someone help in making Google Chrome padlock green or grey (not red)?

Stumbled upon on a linkedin profile just now. He is an Award-Winning, Certified Resume writer
.
.
.
seriously? 🤔

I am now a certified devloper🤣😂

I updated my online profiles to reflect that I am a certified kubernetes administrator, and the calls from recruiters wont stop.

Well, atom won't open. SO, what's the next free editor I will learn to use, configure exactly right, and then need to abandon because it won't fucking open for no apparent reason?

Sure, I could become a certified Atom expert and learn exactly what is going on, but I HAVE FUCKING WORK THAT IS DUE WHAT THE FUCKING HELL

Wishing I could afford PyCharm, maybe I will just try the trial since EVERY editor I have ever used eventually becomes unusable at some point.

So I was attending a Scrum Master training recently. During the introduction, the coach is making sure everyone understands why are they even on this training and stresses out that for a company to be able to actually become agile and survive the transition, people of different levels and roles/responsibilities should get familiar with Scrum, not only IT/developers.

Coach: I can see we have developers, testers and people from operations in the room, good. Too bad there's noone from the actual business. Anyway, who decided that you should come to a Scrum training and become certified?
Group: Well, the business..

#ironic

So I work at a big IT company. Keep in mind you could say I'm lucky to be here my last job was as a mechanic. So they put me on this team filled with the most draining kunts I've ever seen.

I have been here for about a year and I am yet to be put on a project, so im just training. They asked me to get certified to be on a project which is complete bullshit because every other fuckwit is on a project and noone is certified.

ONTOP of this, there's no work to be done anyway, yet they keep hiring fucking Grads. LIKE FUCK OFF, get work for the rest of us first you fucking IDIOTS.

Anyway, the cert is the driest fucking content, like kill me now, I try to read about it and I just want to blow my fucking brains out.

Like is IT all like this? I used to work at a web design company and that shit was fucking fun, but paid like $2 an hour the cheap fucks.

Anyway that's my rant, I'm sitting my exam tomorrow for this cert and honestly, I don't even know why. I literally know ZERO. fucking going in to guess this shit. would rather go down to bunnings buy the coarsest piece of rope and just dangle like a fat dick.

Anyway cheers lads. have a great day

What certifications do you guys have, and which do you recommend having?

I'm currently pursuing AWS Developer Assosiate, and in the future Google certified Android developer and MongoDB developer.

Been thinking about Docker but it costs too much

So my team (read: not the team at all) has decided that we are going to scrum. Someone ease tell me it's not as fucking tedious as it sounds. Sounds like it's just more meetings. Especially on this team which is actually already pretty agile. And the way our "certified scrum master" describes the retrospective sounds like it was designed by the type of shitlord PM that forces everyone to wear ugly t-shirts to the mandatory company barbecue for "team building". Please tell me he's just a terrible salesman.

Starting this.... AWS Certified Developer

So guys at the moment Im working at a medical company as a business temp but I really like it here. At the moment they know me as the tech guy. I want to be the official systems administrator here but don't know how to go about doing that.
I have a strong Linux background but everyone here uses windows.
I think that they need a server but I don't think I can just go up to my boss and say "hey, I know I'm not certified yet but hows about you give me money so I can set up a server for you?"
I need advice.

These one is about recruiters.
I'm a Zend Php 5.3 Certified Engineer and have it listed on my linkedin profile and also being a php developer for the last 6 years.
Got this recruiter on the phone.

Recruiter: Hi, i saw your profile on linkedin and think you're great fit for a position i have available. Do you have any experience in PHP?

Me: Hangup the phone.

Me: Ok I'm not going to bother upgrading my PC, just going to use it and buy a whole new system later on...
PC: Yo' bro, remember when you had no clue at what you were doing and you didn't buy an 80 Plus certified PSU and used stock intel cooler? Yeah man you're going to need to replace both of these things, that'll be $280!

Of course this fucking happens, knew I should have waited till I actually knew what I was doing with PC hardware!

Real question, not troll. There is debate about it and I really can't figure it out.

Besides having the title software "engineer," is there really such a thing as a software engineer?

In the US, to be an engineer you have to be regularly tested by a regulated governing body, apprentice under another engineer for years, and be certified on a state level. Whereupon you are personally liable for your designs being FREE from errors.

For one thing, nobody can write bug free code, and the idea of being personally responsible for each bug is terrifying.
And two, I've seen news of people calling themselves software engineers in the USA and Canada and getting a cease and desist or sued for it, despite any level of qualification.

I'm sure there are engineers, especially electrical, computer engineers who also program.

But... ?

I don't know, I can't say either way.
That's why I'm asking.

So I've been in this dilemma.

I'm a senior like around 10 days from graduation. And I know I wanna do programming but like I dont know what area I want to do..

I'm certified in JavaScript and Python which I'm better with python but I dont have any accomplishments to be proud of..

And I've always wanted to make a game (I have a few ideas tbh) but I feel like if I do I'll be sucked into that only and not ever really program software or web apps..

Am I going to succeed? How can I be good enough to be a professional if the best thing I've made is a bit that barely has original code?

My boss is a certified Microsoft teacher and asked me to modify a c# project for a customer.
He told me to use Rider (Jetbrains) cuz "Visual studio sucks"... So it's confirmed

So .. now its official. In October this year, ill start my apprenticeship as Web & Mobile- developer . It'll take me 3 years to left it as a certified computer scientist with focus on development. Im so happy right now and almost exploding excited !! :)))))

When I'm not busy at work I've been spending my time studying on w3schools to get certified in HTML, CSS and JS development. Are these certs really worth It? Will they help me in the future enough to pay $95 for each one?

🤬So I spent half an hour at my post office to pick up a certified letter. It turned out to be a paper version of „we have updated our privacy policy” from a company I last dealt with 5 years ago. 🤬🤬🤬
I want to thank my EU lawmakers for always thinking about our logging industry. I still don’t see why I need gdpr, though. I still dont know how the voters can stop this kind of non democratic nonsense in the future.

Cloud certifications are becoming like subscriptions. Grad students are passing the Solution Architect certs. WTF – I’ve cleared a few myself, BTW

What to do next?

In college, during Novell's heyday, I was working on my Certified Network Administrator certification (totally worthless, in retrospect). As I was becoming an expert in all things Novell, I found a security flaw. Using Visual Basic it was possible to code up an exact replica of the Novell login screen that launched at boot time from a batch file stored on a floppy. You could log peoples' usernames and passwords all day as long as they didn't realize your floppy was in the drive, which worked in certain computer lab setups on campus. I wasn't in it for stealing info or being a criminal. I just did it for the lulz. But if I had gained access to a few of the right computers in admin offices on campus, I could've gotten access to anyone's student profiles and grades.

It is over now, Devrant!

I am officially lifting platform certified!!!

Security Admin Certified!

Hey ya'll, I was wondering if you could give me a career advice. I'm a front end dev with about 3 yrs of experience, and would like to do more cloud architecture/devops. How would I go about it, considering that I've only used aws, gcp, and azure for my hobby/side projects? Should i get certified? Who would hire me?

I'd really appreciate any advice/tip!

My first prompt with grok, for giggles:
"how to disable grok"
This is a certified black mirror classic.

So being in ops, I have certifications in networking and Linux, and am currently working on my Certified Kubernetes Administrator exam.

I've been talking to a few "professional" (they have jobs) devs that I personally know, and with the exception of 1, it seems like version control, automation, networking, and server related tasks are beyond them.

As I want to get into the dev side of things (devops preferably), I feel somewhat overwhelmed at some of the requirements of the job, especially knowing that I cannot take too much of a pay hit as I have a family to support.

My question is this, based on real world experiences with hiring, how much weight do you think knowing your way around networks, cloud, virtualization, servers, and all of the other things ops does when it comes to getting your foot in the door for a dev job?

I've casually looked around, and it seems that getting the foot in from this side is almost impossible.

I just signed up for the preparation course for the Offensive Security Certified Professional (OSCP) certificate. Does anybody have experience doing this course? or has maybe some tips for the exam? or any learning suggestions?
I‘ve decided not to get a CEH certificate because its just too theoretical, the OSCP is way more practical and i think there is way more to learn from this course/exam

Can anyone help me please?

I am in 7th semester pursuing B.Tech in Computer Science but haven't done any internship and not much familiar with the data structures and algorithm, but beside that I have done more than 40 freelancing projects, certified Redhat system administrator, put a course on Udemy about WordPress and wrote 2 books.
The problem is I am confused whether I should pursue M. Tech or not or should I start competitive programming for the placement in next semester or prepare for internship in the next semester. I am confused between all of these things.

I wanted to attend the Microsoft Azure Virtual Training Day just to get the FREE Certification exam voucher but all the sessions until August end are full 😭😭!

PS: I am now an Oracle Cloud Certified Associate (with a score of 98%). Cheers!

I have worked for a company where almost everyone want to leave that place. People receive gifts to compensate for being underpaid (dinners, chocolates, shirts) etc. Now they’ve just got GPTW certified. What a fuck? I can’t believe in these surveys and rankings anymore.

Anyone's got a CKA certificate (Certified Kubernetes Admin)? I'm considering taking the course and getting certified, but a quick search on the internet scared me a little. The course and exam aren't that bad, but the experience of the PSI browser the exam must be taken in apparently is awful: it's a lottery whether it'll work or not, even a passing precheck test does not guarantee anything. People are setting up separate OS installations just for the exam.
Others say that their laptops cannot be used for the exam because of dual-gpu (even on windows).

This sounds like a nightmare.

I'm on LinuxMint 20.3 and I'm actually considering a separate installation of clean ubuntu.

I wonder, has anyone tried taking it? What's the experience? Has anyone tried taking the exam using a Linux (ubuntu?) live-boot?

Finish reading Speaking JavaScript and intro to algo by clrs.
Get Google Certified Mobile Web Specialist cert.
Start my part time degree in Computer Science.

A recruiter asked me: "Are you familiar with...VLAN?"

I'm a certified network technician, and the recruiter knew that beforehand.

It's a bit like asking a bicycle delivery man if he knows about handlebars. Well, yes? Which was what I answered. Not sure how I could have answered that question without sounding stupid.

"How do I include the Zend_Http package in my Magento module?" - a "Zend" certified engineer

WTF

Reading Geekonomics (silly title for the book) and seriously considering that maybe we should all be licensed/certified since so much software is broken, looking at you Equifax.

I'm thinking of taking the LPIC-1 exams and getting certified. My boss has asked for a time frame for studying but I'm unsure how long it would take. Any ideas? I'm at the level where I can just about work my way through a system use basic commands.

if I hear the word agiles again... kill me! scrum master open books exams certified!

Anyone Dell certified? Is it worth it? Can I get he cert with little hardware experience? Got offered to get the cert paid for by my employer.

!rant
DevOps:
Is it worth the time and money to get AWS/GCP/Azure Certified? Other than adding a line to your resume...

Should I get the oracle certified associate certification? I just took a Java class in college that apparently prepares me for it. But it's $245...

Is anybody here (ISC)² certified? Do you find the certifications valuable in your career? Is it a certification you found you could self-study for?

Unlock the secrets of the digital world with our latest video, "Hire the Best Hacker 2025!" Discover how Mighty Hacker Recovery can assist you in retrieving your lost bitcoins, upgrading your school scores, and enhancing credit card limits. Whether you're facing financial challenges or seeking academic improvement, our expert hackers offer tailored solutions to meet your needs.

Join us as we explore the incredible capabilities of skilled hackers in 2025. Don’t forget to like and share this video with anyone who might benefit from our services!

Hire the Best Hacker 2025! Bitcoin Recovery & More

USDT trade key for withdrawal contact Mighty Hacker Recovery on Whatsapp +1.8.4.5.6.9.9.5.0.4.4.

How to recover my lost usdt online/ contact Mighty Hacker Recovery.

What can you do to retrieve USDT if it was mistakenly sent to the wrong wallet address? contact Mighty Hacker Recovery.
How to recover my lost usdt online? contact Mighty Hacker Recovery

Hire expert Certified Ethical Hackers at Mighty Hacker Recovery.

Hackers contact number near me contact Mighty Hacker Recovery

#Hacker2025 #BitcoinRecovery #CreditCardUpgrade #ScoreUpgrade #MightyHackerRecovery #Cybersecurity #TechSolutions

Hacker Near By me contact Mighty Hacker Recovery

Who can I call about a hacker? Call Mighty Hacker Recovery Whatsapp +1.8.4.5.6.9.9.5.0.4.4

Hire a Local Hacker Near Me for Enhanced Cybersecurity Whatsapp +1.8.4.5.6.9.9.5.0.4.4

Hire expert Certified Ethical Hackers for any job Whatsapp +1.8.4.5.6.9.9.5.0.4.4

Ethical hackers academy reddit contact Mighty Hacker Recovery

What is the average salary for senior 5+ years experience developer with an AWS certified developer certification?

I joined in 2011 when there were 3% architects/technologists. Even those were PMP certified.
Now we have 80% archs/techs/coders/devops/cyber, with aws/azure/java/db/cyber certs and no PMP.

Even now managers go off-site for a week to some exotic location and come back to present the architecture.

My goals this year:
1. Getting certified for Spring core
2. Getting certified for Java OCP 8
3. Write my first blog about “something interesting”
4. Update my personal website
5. Getting a drivers license

So if someone has some ideas/tips that would be great.

RECOVER YOUR LOST CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH WIZARD WEB RECOVERY.

It's disheartening to witness the unfortunate experiences many people face due to online fraudulent activities, leading to substantial losses and sometimes life-altering consequences. I found myself caught in the web of deceit when I fell victim to a fraudulent binary platform, IngoInvest Binary Options, resulting in a staggering loss of approximately $170,000. The devastation and confusion that followed were indescribable. In my despair, a ray of hope emerged through a colleague who had faced a similar predicament. They introduced me to a legitimate, certified, and verified funds and digital assets recovery firm. This introduction marked a turning point in my ordeal, offering a glimmer of hope that I could recover what I had lost. The recovery firm's swift and truthful services became the beacon guiding me out of the darkness of financial loss. Wizard Web Recovery played a pivotal role in restoring my lost funds. The saga began with my engagement in binary options on the IngoInvest platform. Initially, everything seemed promising, but soon the reality of fraudulent activities unfolded. I found myself in a situation where the platform, supposedly designed for investment, turned out to be a trap. The scammers behind IngoInvest Binary Options exploited the trust I placed in the system, leading to a substantial loss of $170,000. The aftermath left me not only financially drained but also emotionally shattered. It was in this vulnerable state that my colleague extended a helping hand, introducing me to the recovery firm that had assisted them in a similar situation. The recommendation was grounded in the firsthand experience of successful recovery, instilling a sense of trust and reliability in the services provided by this certified firm, coupled with the efficacy of the Wizard Web Recovery. Upon contacting the recovery firm, their approach was both swift and truthful. They navigated the complexities of digital fraud with diligence and efficiency. The recovery process unfolded seamlessly, and, to my immense relief, I witnessed the restoration of the funds that I had thought were lost forever. For anyone finding themselves in the throes of online losses involving funds, crypto, or other digital assets, I wholeheartedly endorse reaching out to a reputable recovery firm and considering Wizard Web Recovery. The key is to seek assistance from certified professionals who can guide you through the recovery process, leveraging advanced technologies to reclaim lost assets. My experience serves as a testament to the effectiveness of such recovery firms, offering a lifeline to those who have fallen victim to online scams.

Get in Touch with Wizard Web Recovery through below;

Email ; wizardwebrecovery(@)programmer. net.

Telegram ; wizardwebrecoveryteam

HOW TO RECOVER YOUR STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH THE HELP OF A CERTIFIED CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT WIZARD GEORGE CYBER SERVICE.

After losing a huge amount of crypto to a crypto investment scam, I felt completely lost. But Wizard George Cyber Service turned things around. From the start, their team was professional, transparent, and genuinely helpful. They kept me updated throughout the process and, most importantly, helped me recover my funds. The whole experience gave me peace of mind, and I’m incredibly grateful for their expertise.
If you should ever find yourself in such situation do not panic consult WIZARD GEORGE CYBER SERVICE to help you successfully recover your stolen funds: G mail ::: WIZARDGEORGECYBERSERVICE @ g mail dot com

How do you get the motivation to study especially when your field and company policy dictate that you must study and get certified all the damn time?

HOW TO RECOVER YOUR STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY WITH THE HELP OF A CERTIFIED CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT WIZARD GEORGE CYBER SERVICE.

Be cautious about losing money on bad bitcoin investments, and if you have, there is significant support. A group of highly intelligent individuals makes up the WIZARD GEORGE CYBER SERVICE service team. They will help you get back every bitcoin you've misplaced or that have been stolen from you online. You may be wondering if this is even possible, but all you need to do is provide the recovery team with the necessary data in order for the process to start. For a chance to recover your lost BTC, get in touch with them on Gmail: WIZARDGEORGECYBERSERVICE (at) gmail com

Shop now at Gooploo for affordable, eco-friendly tech! We offer certified refurbished phones, laptops, and tablets from top brands like iPhone and Samsung, all with warranties.

HOW CAN I TRACE AND RECOVER MY STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY FROM A SCAMMER; CONTACT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

One fine Sunday, I decided to have a shoot. The weather was perfect, and everything seemed to align just right for an outdoor photoshoot. As I set up, I couldn’t help but think of a recent conversation I had with a photographer friend of mine, Dave. He’s one of the best in the industry, a true professional with years of experience and an impressive portfolio. He’s always striving to improve his work and provide the best for his clients. Unfortunately, he recently went through a situation that left him shaken, but it ultimately turned into a valuable lesson. I thought it would be worth sharing with you all. Dave, being such a big name in photography, was always searching for ways to elevate his craft. He wanted only the best, whether it was the latest gear, the top locations, or, in this case, the finest photo editing services available. One day, he came across an ad for a photo editing service that promised premium quality with a lifetime subscription at a one-time fee of $7,500 NZD. The offer seemed too good to pass up for someone like Dave, who only wanted the best for his photos. The website was sleek, the testimonials were glowing, and the pricing was positioned as a premium, lifetime solution. It appeared to be the perfect match for a photographer of his caliber, so he decided to invest without hesitation. At first, the service seemed to live up to its promises. The edits were decent, and the turnaround times were reasonable. Dave was satisfied at least initially. But over time, things started to go wrong. The quality of the edits began to decline, and the company’s responsiveness grew slower and less reliable. When Dave reached out for updates, the answers were vague and unhelpful. Soon, communication stopped altogether, and the edits were no longer up to the high standards Dave was used to. It became clear that Dave had been scammed. Despite paying for a lifetime subscription, he was left with subpar work and no way to get in touch with the company. He had lost a significant amount of money and, more importantly, the trust he had placed in a service he thought would be the best. That's when a fellow photographer recommended CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. Initially, Dave was skeptical, unsure if anyone could help him recover the money he had lost. But after reaching out, he quickly realized that CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was different. The team worked tirelessly to track down the scammers and recover $7,000 of his original $7,500 payment. It was a huge relief for Dave and restored some of his faith in the process. Now, Dave shares his story with other photographers in the industry, especially those who, like him, want only the best for their work. He advises them to be cautious with their investments and to always do thorough research before committing to anything. He also highly recommends CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, knowing firsthand how valuable their expertise can be when things go wrong. So, if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, remember that even the best can be caught off guard. But with the right support, like Dave experienced, you can turn things around and recover from what initially seems like an irreparable loss.

Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )

Should I take the Oracle Certified Associate exam on Java 8? I just finished an intro course in college that apparently covers all the topics. It's $245 though.

Comprehensive Guide on How to Prepare for the SAP Certified Associate Certification Test.
This article examines the structure, requirements, and meaning of C_C4H51_2405 certificate tests, which are essential for students to demonstrate their skills and improve their chances of finding steady employment. It focuses on the SAP C_C4H51_2405 study guide set Director confirmation.

QA4EXAM provides top-notch test organizing materials for the SAP Certified Associate - Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud Test, offering an exceptional opportunity to complete the C_C4H51_2405 test, whether you're preparing for it enthusiastically or experiencing recent issues, ensuring you become a powerful Outline of Confirmation.

The SAP C_C4H51_2405 study guide aims to evaluate a competitor's reasonableness for a specific capability or obligation, including a student's innovation.

Why Choose QA4EXAM SAP C_C4H51_2405 study guide?
QA4EXAM is dedicated to helping clients pass difficult confirmations by providing comprehensive planning materials to help them navigate the intricacies of the SAP Certified Associate Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud test and prepare for their next endeavor.

1. Quality and Worth
The C_C4H51_2405 study guide's practice tests are designed with specialized precision, involving only educated authorities and distributed creators for improvement.

2. Tried and Endorsed
QA4EXAM prioritize seller and outsider endorsements, ensuring experts and leaders receive the same value inclusion assurances as their peers.

3. Simple to Pass
Using QA4EXAM SAP C_C4H51_2405 Actual Questions, you can easily pass the primary task without managing dumps or any free/rapid share stuff.

4. Attempt before Purchase
QA4EXAM provides a free demo of all items, allowing customers to assess the connection point, question quality, and convenience of their training tests before making a purchase.

Download Full C_C4H51_2405 Practice Exam Material Here:
QA4EXAM . Com

Subjects and Test Construction
The confirmation test covers fundamental subjects for the SAP Certified Associate exam, ensuring students can pass the C_C4H51_2405 exam on their first attempt.

Test structure:
The SAP Certified Associate - Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud test is designed to evaluate a large number of subjects, with varied loads distributed across different subject areas.

The SAP Certified Associate - Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud educational classes on QA4EXAM are recommended due to their practical experience in errand groups, which aids in generating speculative data.

Online Practice Tests:
Use SAP Certified Associate - Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud practice tests to understand the request plan and evaluate accessibility, boosting confidence and reducing fears by familiarizing yourself with the C_C4H51_2405 test pattern.

Watch SAP exam questions answers on YouTube now:

Outline of the SAP Certified Associate Test Supplier:
• Vendor: SAP
• Exam Name: SAP Certified Associate - Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud
• CERTIFICATION NAME: SAP Certified Associate Implementation Consultant - SAP Service Cloud
• EXAM FORMAT: MCQs
• EXAM LANGUAGE: English
• NUMBER OF QUESTIONS: 80

Did You lose your crypto assests ?

Are you looking for a way to recover cryptocurrency you misplaced or was stolen? I'm pleased to inform you that Universal Spark Recovery has resolved the issue that nearly caused my house to fall since I spent the money my spouse wanted to utilize to start a business. I lost £993,700 worth of Ethereum to scammers. But Universal Spark Recovery are good at what they do, they are the leading certified recovery company. In summary 97% of what I lost was recovered

You can communicate with them. Via
email:
Universalsparkrecovery @ Outlook. com
WhatsApp: +1 (77.......3) 50..079...98‬
Signal: +1 (54.....0) 32...493..96
Telegram: universalsparkrecovery

Have you given up on ever getting your money back from scammers? I have good news for you: a Certified Recovery Expert named RECOVERY NERD can help you recover your money 98% of the time. I lost almost $241,000 to a fraudulent broker, and I gave up on ever turning a profit from binary trading. Following the loss, I spent a lot of time researching ways to get the money back. I eventually found RECOVERY NERD, a specialized cryptocurrency recovery expert that assists scam victims in getting their money back. The expert worked on my case once I submitted it, and I received my money in full. to anyone searching for a recovery company to get their misplaced cryptocurrency back. RECOVERY NERD can be reached via recoverynerd @ mail . com

Best Recovery Experts for Cryptocurrency Assets: HIRE CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

Last month, I faced a nightmare scenario when the entire balance of SOL I held in my Meta Mask wallet was abruptly transferred to an unknown address. One moment, my funds were secure; the next, they’d vanished without a trace. I frantically reviewed my transaction history, double-checked permissions, and scanned my devices for malware, but found no obvious breach. Panic turned to despair as I realized my savings accumulated through years of cautious investing were gone. Desperate for answers, I contacted Meta Mask support, only to be told that decentralized transactions couldn’t be reversed or traced by their team. They speculated that my wallet had been compromised, possibly via a phishing scam, a malicious dApp, or a leaked recovery phrase, but I couldn’t pinpoint where I’d gone wrong. Feeling helpless, I combed through Reddit threads and crypto forums, where I stumbled upon CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, a service hailed for its success in reclaiming stolen assets. Though skeptical after all, everything I’d read suggested crypto theft was irreversible I decided to take a leap of faith and submitted my case details, including transaction IDs and wallet addresses. Their team responded within hours, outlining a meticulous plan to trace the stolen SOL across the blockchain and collaborate with exchanges to intercept the funds. Over the next week, CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES provided daily updates, revealing how the thief had funneled my SOL through a labyrinth of wallets to obscure its trail. Using advanced blockchain forensics, they identified patterns linking the movement of funds to a known exchange. By working with legal teams and platform security, they flagged the stolen crypto before it could be liquidated. Their expertise and determination were evident as they navigated the complexities of the blockchain, piecing together the puzzle of my stolen assets. Against all odds, their relentless efforts paid off: within 9 days, they recovered 100% of my stolen SOL and safely redirected it to a new, fortified wallet. This experience taught me the importance of vigilance in the crypto space and the value of seeking help from experts when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges. I learned that while the decentralized nature of cryptocurrency offers many advantages, it also comes with risks that require constant awareness and proactive measures. Now, I’m more cautious than ever, ensuring that my digital assets are protected and that I stay informed about potential threats in the ever-evolving world of cryptocurrency.
Here's Their Info Below:

Hire a certified hacker for cryptocurrency || Bitcoin || Ethereum || Asset recovery, Optimistic Hacker Gaius Can Help You

Following several difficult situations, Optimistic Hacker Gaius was able to recover $862,000 in stolen Ethereum and Bitcoin to my cryptocurrency accounts. First, I lost $870,000 to a deceptive exchange service. I tried to hire up to two guys who claimed to be hackers, but they stole $47,000 from me, leaving me hopeless and destitute. Before I encountered Optimistic Hacker Gaius who saved my bacon, I truly believed I had lost everything.

Website.... w w w . optimistichackergaius.c o m

WhatsApp..... +44 737, 674, 0569

Email..... support @ optimistichackergaius. co m

HIRE A CERTIFIED CRYPTOCURRENCY RECOVERY COMPANY Visit iFORCE HACKER RECOVERY 

  iForce Hacker Recovery saved me from a terrible $4 million USDT Bitcoin scam. I was tricked into a phony real estate investment using convincing emails and documents, and everything seemed fine until I found out it was all a scam. I went online to search for a hacker and found iForce Hacker Recovery, and their team moved quickly to trace the transactions, find the scammers, and successfully recover my stolen Bitcoin. Their knowledge and unwavering efforts saved me from financial ruin, and I am incredibly appreciative of their professionalism and openness. If you ever become a victim of crypto fraud, iForce Hacker Recovery is the team to trust they are the real deal!  

Email; contact@ iforcehackersrecovery . c om
  Contact;  +1240 (803) 3706

SPEAK TO A CERTIFIED CRYPTO RECOVERY HACKER, ALPHA KEY LICENSED
Today marks six months since I lost everything I had saved, and an online broker forced me to invest on Binance in the hopes of receiving a 25% cash-back reward on my cryptocurrency investments without telling me.Before I came across articles and evaluations of a crypto recovery specialist named Alpha Key Recovery, I suspected that this online broker was a scammer and that I had lost everything by investing over $75,000 in USDT cryptocurrency. My biggest error might have been contacting the company with less confidence. can't express how much gratitude they deserve now that Alpha key recovery is a legitimate and a licensed hacker expert reach out to them now info below

WhatsApp: +15714122170
Telegram: Alphakeyhacker
Signal: +18622823879

How to Recover Lost Cryptocurrency or Access Your Wallet; VISIT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

Imagine this: A control room plastered with SpaceX posters, astronaut ice cream packets half-eaten, and me a self-proclaimed "Elon Lite", screaming at a frozen computer screen. My $680,000 Bitcoin stash, intended to be spent launching a satellite named Project Star bite, had just been left in the void of a glitched multi-sig wallet. Because of a firmware update so buggy, Windows 98 would seem solid by comparison. Tech support's solution? "Have you tried turning it off and on again? " Sir, I'm building hardware that is resistant to radiation belts. Your advice is a cosmic joke.
The irony was galactic. My satellite could weather solar flares, but my crypto couldn't weather a run-of-the-mill update. The multi-sig setup of a fortress requiring three digital signatures had locked me out like an airlock seal. My co-founders panicked, flipping through code books like they were grimoires. Our mission control? A Slack channel with ???? emojis and increasingly more unhinged gifs.
Then, a beacon: A coding board lurker who had survived a similar meltdown posted, "DM CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. They'll hack the Matrix." I slid into their inbox, praying for a bot. What I got was a reply sharper than the tip of a rocket: "Send us the debug logs of the wallet. And maybe a screenshot of the error before you rage-quit."
Their engineers handled my case like a NASA anomaly investigation. They spent 17 days reverse-engineering the buggy code in the firmware, reconstituting lost signatures like repainting a shattered black box. I imagined them holed up in a command bunker, whiteboards filled with hex equations, complaining about "consensus algorithms" and "transaction malleability" between swigs of Red Bull. They danced around the bug by finding a loophole in the time-lock function of the wallet basically, beating time. Ha. Einstein didn't see that coming. When the email arrived in my inbox "Funds recovered. Proceed with launch." I nearly headbutted the ceiling. My Bitcoin reappeared on the screen, shining like a distant star long mapped home. The satellite team erupted. Someone popped champagne, soaking a $10,000 antenna prototype. Worth it.
CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES didn't just fix a bug; they re-wrote the code of catastrophe. Their blend of cryptographic genius and unflappable cool turned my facepalm-inducing defeat into a victory lap. Now, Project Star bite is on track again, and my wallet's firmware is secure like the nuclear codes.
If your crypto ever gets lost in the stratosphere of tech failure, call the Wizards. They'll debug the abyss. Just possibly unplug the router before you update anything. And for the love of Mars, back up your keys.

Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )
Telegram: https: //t.me/certifiedrecoveryservices

HIRE A CERTIFIED CRYPTOCURRENCY RECOVERY COMPANY HIRE iFORCE HACKER RECOVERY 

 iForce Hacker Recovery prevented me from suffering a catastrophic Bitcoin loss of $139,000 USDT. I believed my money was lost forever after being duped into making a fake investment. In a panic, I contacted iForce Hacker Recovery, who moved quickly to track the transaction and retrieve my missing cryptocurrency. Throughout the process, their professionalism, knowledge, and openness gave me comfort. I never imagined that they would be able to successfully retrieve my money in a matter of hours. I'm so appreciative of their assistance; they made what appeared to be a nightmare into a miracle. I strongly advise using iForce Hacker Recovery if you ever find yourself in a similar circumstance. They really live up to their promises!  

Email; contact @iforcehackersrecovery. com

Whatsap; +12 40 803 37 06

Middle Eastern Market Near Me
Arabian Delights Market is the top Middle Eastern market near me for Raleigh residents, offering an unmatched selection of authentic ingredients sourced from across the Levant, Gulf, and North Africa. Our spacious aisles feature everything from specialty spices to frozen pastries, making it easy to find all your favorite regional foods in one convenient location.

Arabic Grocery Store in Raleigh
As a leading Arabic grocery store in Raleigh, we pride ourselves on stocking hard-to-find staples such as rose water, pomegranate molasses, and specialty grains. Whether you need bulk olives or premium date varieties, our inventory is carefully curated to serve both home cooks and professional chefs.

Halal Supermarket in Wake County
Arabian Delights Market serves as the premier halal supermarket in Wake County, with a comprehensive meat counter offering Zabihah-certified lamb, chicken, and beef. We partner with trusted halal suppliers to ensure every product meets strict religious and quality standards.

Where to Buy Arabic Food
If you’re wondering where to buy Arabic food, look no further than Arabian Delights Market. From canned fava beans for foul medames to imported laban and authentic baklava, we deliver genuine flavors at competitive prices, backed by expert staff ready to guide your selections.

Best Mediterranean Grocery
Recognized as the best Mediterranean grocery in the region, our store showcases premium olive oils from Lebanon and Palestine, artisanal cheeses, and a vast assortment of mezzes. Customers appreciate our clean, family-friendly atmosphere and regularly return for seasonal specialties and new arrivals.

Yemeni Grocery Near Me
Our dedicated Yemen aisle makes Arabian Delights Market the ultimate Yemeni grocery near me, featuring hawaij spice blends, roasted coffee beans, and pure honeycomb straight from Yemeni apiaries. Experience the rich heritage of Yemen through products you won’t find elsewhere in Raleigh.

Ethnic Market with Halal Products
As an ethnic market with halal products, we go beyond meats to provide halal-certified snacks, beverages, and even sweets like halal gummy candies and energy drinks. Our commitment to halal integrity extends to every shelf, ensuring peace of mind for all customers.

International Food Market in Raleigh
Arabian Delights Market stands out as an international food market in Raleigh, grouping Middle Eastern, North African, and South Asian specialties under one roof. Shoppers can explore global cuisines by selecting exotic sauces, noodles, and packaged mixes that bring world flavors to their kitchens.

Why Choose Arabian Delights Market
Extensive Selection: Over 5,000 SKUs of authentic Middle Eastern and Mediterranean products.

Strict Halal Certification: Every meat and poultry item is Zabihah-certified for quality and compliance.

Competitive Pricing: Wholesale and bulk discounts alongside weekly specials.

Expert Staff: Friendly, multilingual team available to recommend ingredients and share cooking tips.

Community Engagement: Hosting cultural events, cooking demonstrations, and recipe workshops for Raleigh food enthusiasts.

Contact Us
Arabian Delights Market
1504 Garner Station Blvd
Raleigh, NC 27603
Phone: +1 984-800-0003

Visit us today to discover why we’re the preferred Middle Eastern and international food destination in Wake County.

Century Web Recovery: Expert Cryptocurrency Theft and Scam Recovery Services

If you’ve fallen victim to cryptocurrency theft or scams, you need a trusted and experienced recovery expert to help you get your funds back. Century Web Recovery is a legitimate company that specializes in helping individuals and businesses recover lost cryptocurrency, including Bitcoin, Ethereum, USDT, and other digital assets.

As a recognized leader in the cryptocurrency recovery industry, Century Web Recovery has built a solid reputation for successfully tracing and recovering stolen digital funds. Their team of certified experts uses cutting-edge tools and forensic methods to track down stolen cryptocurrency, regardless of how far the funds have been moved across the blockchain.

One of the key reasons Century Web Recovery stands out as a reliable choice is their ethical and transparent approach to recovery. The company works in close collaboration with law enforcement and other financial institutions when necessary, ensuring that the recovery process remains legal and secure. This collaboration not only enhances the chances of successfully recovering stolen assets but also provides victims with peace of mind knowing that they are working with trusted professionals.

The team at Century Web Recovery understands the challenges and emotional stress that come with cryptocurrency theft. That’s why they are dedicated to guiding their clients every step of the way, from identifying the theft to restoring lost assets. Clients receive timely updates, and the process is handled with professionalism and discretion.

Whether you’ve lost Bitcoin to a scam or had your cryptocurrency stolen from a wallet or exchange, Century Web Recovery is the best company to trust. Their experts specialize in recovering assets from a variety of scenarios, using their deep understanding of blockchain technology to ensure successful recovery.

If you are looking for a reliable, certified, and proven solution to recover your lost Bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies, hire Century Web Recovery. Their vast expertise and commitment to client success make them one of the top choices for cryptocurrency recovery.

Best Crypto Recovery Specialists: How to Recover Stolen Cryptocurrency – Visit CryptoChain Global Track

Professional cryptocurrency recovery services have become essential in today's digital asset landscape. CryptoChain Global Track stands as a leading solution for victims of crypto theft, offering expert recovery services through certified blockchain forensic specialists with a demonstrated track record of successful fund retrieval.

CryptoChain Global Track's recovery methodology begins with comprehensive blockchain forensic analysis. Their team of licensed investigators examines transaction histories across multiple wallets and exchanges, utilizing advanced tracking technology to follow the digital trail of stolen Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other major cryptocurrencies. This technical approach identifies critical recovery points that untrained individuals typically miss, combining forensic tracing with legal strategies when recoverable funds are located on regulated platforms.

The company's transparent operations include a performance-based fee structure, ensuring clients only pay upon successful recovery. Their specialists maintain strict confidentiality protocols while providing regular case updates, keeping clients informed throughout the investigation process. The team prioritizes rapid response to new cases, understanding that timely intervention significantly increases recovery success rates before scammers can obscure the funds' trail through mixing services or cross-chain transfers.

CryptoChain Global Track's experts specialize in complex recovery scenarios, including investment frauds, exchange hacks, phishing attacks, and DeFi exploits. Their deep understanding of blockchain transaction patterns and scam behaviors enables them to develop effective counter-strategies for fund retrieval. The company's professional certifications and ethical standards provide assurance in an industry where questionable operators frequently emerge.

For those seeking professional cryptocurrency recovery assistance, CryptoChain Global Track offers complimentary initial consultations. Their experts provide realistic assessments of recovery potential and explain the investigative process in clear, understandable terms.

With CryptoChain Global Track, victims of cryptocurrency theft gain access to premier recovery services that combine technical expertise with professional investigative methods. Their certified team delivers legitimate solutions for reclaiming stolen digital assets in today's complex crypto environment.

FOLKWIN EXPERT RECOVERY/A CERTIFIED TEAM SET TO RECOVER ALL LOST CRYPTO/USDT ASSET.

One months ago, I thought I was making a sound investment in a sustainable fashion startup in Paris, putting in EUR 50,000. As someone who values sustainability and innovation, this opportunity felt like a perfect match. The startup, which promised to revolutionize the fashion industry with eco-friendly materials and ethical production methods, had an impressive pitch. Their website showcased professional designs, glowing testimonials from industry experts, and even a few media features that added to their credibility. Initially, everything seemed promising. I was thrilled to be part of a venture that aligned with my values and had the potential for substantial returns. I conducted my due diligence, reviewed their business plan, and even reached out to other investors who expressed confidence in the project. It felt like a dream come true. However, as time went on, my excitement began to wane. After a couple of months, I decided it was time to withdraw some of my earnings. After all, I had invested a significant amount, and it was only reasonable to see some returns. To my shock, I encountered unexpected fees during the withdrawal process. The company cited various "administrative costs" and "processing fees" that I had never heard of before. I brushed it off, thinking it was a standard procedure. I paid the fees, hoping it would be the last hurdle. But as soon as I submitted my withdrawal request, I was met with silence. My broker, who had previously been responsive and engaging, stopped replying to my emails and calls. Days turned into weeks, and my unease grew into frustration. It felt as if I was trapped in a nightmare. Desperate to reclaim my funds, I began researching the situation. I discovered that I wasn’t alone; many others had fallen victim to similar scams. It was alarming to see a pattern of deceit that had ensnared so many investors. Feeling overwhelmed, I decided to reach out for help. That’s when I found ( F O L K W I N ( EXPERT ) R E C O V E R Y ). They specialized in assisting individuals like me who had been misled by unscrupulous investment firms. Their team was professional and empathetic, providing me with a sense of hope that I had lost. They guided me through the recovery process, helping me understand my options and the steps I needed to take. While the journey is still ongoing, I feel more empowered knowing I have experts on my side. I’ve learned the importance of thorough research and vigilance in investment decisions. Though the experience has been harrowing, I’m determined to reclaim my funds and ensure that others are warned about potential scams.
FOLKWIN EXPERT RECOVERY DETAILS TO CONTACT:
Email: Folkwinexpertrecovery (@) tech-center . com
Telegram: @Folkwin_expert_recovery
WhatsApp: +1 (740)705-0711
Regards,
Elizabeth Aleksandra.

My name is Avis Bruce, and I’m from Melbourne. A few months ago, I faced a nightmare scenario that many in the crypto world fear: I lost access to my $60,000 wallet after a malware attack. The hacker gained control of my private keys, and I was unable to access my funds. Panic set in immediately as I realized the magnitude of the situation. Like anyone in my shoes, I felt completely helpless. But luckily, a friend recommended CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, and it turned out to be the best advice I could have gotten. From the moment I reached out to CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, I felt a sense of relief. Their team was professional, compassionate, and incredibly reassuring. They understood how critical this was for me, and they took charge of the situation right away. What stood out was their transparency and clear communication. They didn’t make any lofty promises or false assurances, but instead, they explained the process thoroughly. They took the time to explain what had happened to my wallet, how they would recover it, and what the chances of success were. Throughout the entire recovery process, I felt informed and supported. Their experts worked diligently, using their advanced skills and knowledge to navigate the complexities of my situation. It was clear that they were not just following a standard procedure—they were customizing their approach to ensure the best outcome for me. They didn’t rush the process, which was reassuring given the sensitive nature of cryptocurrency transactions. To my amazement, just a few days after I reached out to them, my wallet was fully restored. I couldn’t believe it—I was finally able to access my funds again. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of security and relief, knowing that my money was safe and that I had avoided what could have been a permanent loss. Thanks to CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, my nightmare turned into a story of recovery. I am beyond grateful for their professionalism, expertise, and the peace of mind they gave me. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I can’t recommend them enough. They made what seemed impossible possible, and I’ll forever be thankful for their help in restoring not just my funds, but my confidence in the crypto world. If you'd like to reach out to them or learn more about how they operate, please don't hesitate to contact them:

Company: CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES
WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417

I want to publicly thank Ontrack Crypto Recovery, a professional private investigating group with certified expert in bitcoin recovery services, for their assistance in helping me recover the money I lost to fraud. An online manipulation artist who represented themselves as knowledgeable and experienced in the field of crypto investments conned my wife and I. My $356,000 worth of funds were put into cryptocurrency. I was left helpless after the fraud tricked us and had to spend hours looking for a Crypto recovery service to get my money back. The saviour I found was Ontrack Crypto Recovery. I just had to be patient after describing my situation to the expert, and all of my money was returned to my wallet in less than 72 hours. Thank you Ontrack Crypto Recovery for your excellent assistance in getting my money back. Ontrack Crypto Recovery can be reached through various channels like email: ontrackcryptorecovery@ontrackcrypto. co. site or on Whats-App: (+1)-559–593 (1640)

HOW TO HIRE A CERTIFIED CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT

I'm thrilled to share my story because this cyber security firm helped me get my cryptocurrencies and stolen digital money back. Their skilled work and outstanding service have absolutely impressed me. Before I went to them with my issues and gave them all the information I needed, I never imagined that I would be able to receive my money back. I was astounded when it took them 48 hours to get my money. For all difficulties pertaining to hacking, digital funds recovery, bitcoin recovery, or cyber-security, I wholeheartedly commend Wizard Larry Recoveries.

WhatsApp... +44 73 11 (146) 749
Email... Wizardlarry (@) mail . (com)

YOUR CRYPTO, OUR PRIORITY: EXPERT RECOVERY SERVICES

I am a London based professional in the investment industry and on CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES to expand my network and connect with other industry professionals. I would be happy to connect you all with CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES and start the dialogue to see how we can cooperate.

Certified Recovery Services has been a lifesaver for me. I was struggling to cope with the demands of daily life, and I felt like I was losing control. But from the moment I reached out to Certified Recovery Services, I knew I was in good hands. The team is warm, welcoming, and genuinely invested in the well-being of their clients. They helped me develop a personalized plan that addressed all aspects of my recovery, and provided me with the support and guidance I needed to stay on track.

Earlier this year, my friend made a heartbreaking confession to me. She had fallen victim to a Facebook romance scam and, as a result, lost a staggering 55,000 USD in a fraudulent trading scheme. For months, she kept the ordeal hidden from me, trying to manage the shame and the crushing financial loss on her own. It wasn’t until she hit rock bottom emotionally and financially that she finally reached out for help. I felt devastated for her. It was hard to believe that such a thing could happen, especially since she had always been cautious and smart with her finances. However, the scammers are skilled manipulators, and they prey on vulnerable emotions, making it easy to fall into their trap. My friend was not alone in this. There are many who experience the same deception, and unfortunately, many of them never recover their losses. At first, I didn’t know where to turn. I knew there were plenty of recovery companies that promised to help, but I was incredibly skeptical. Having heard mixed reviews and success stories that seemed too good to be true, I didn’t want to put my friend through another potential disappointment. However, after much research, I came across CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. Their approach seemed different. They didn’t offer any get-rich-quick promises, and they took the time to explain the recovery process step by step. I was still cautious, but I decided to give them a chance. The first thing I noticed was their transparency. They were clear about the steps involved and what was realistically possible. Throughout the process, they kept me informed, explaining everything in a way that made me feel comfortable and confident. There was no pressure, no false guarantees, just a calm, professional approach to recovering my friend’s lost funds. It wasn’t an overnight solution, but after some time, CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was able to successfully recover the lost money. The feeling of relief was immense, not just because of the financial recovery, but because it brought my friend a sense of closure and trust again, both in herself and in the possibility of justice. I’m incredibly grateful to CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES for their hard work and dedication. If you or anyone you know has fallen victim to a scam, I highly recommend reaching out to them. Their persistence gave my friend and me back what we thought was lost forever.

WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417

I want to take my Certified Kubernetes Admin exam, but need to brush up on the exam material. Other than the Linux Foundation, what's the best place to learn this material from?

Comprehensive Guide on How to Prepare for the SAP Certified Associate Certification Test.
This article examines the structure, requirements, and meaning of C_C4H51_2405 certificate tests, which are essential for students to demonstrate their skills and improve their chances of finding steady employment. It focuses on the SAP C_C4H51_2405 study guide set Director confirmation.

TRUST OUR EXPERT TEAM FOR RECOVERY; VISIT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

Mark Zuckerberg. That’s the name I was introduced to when I first encountered the cryptocurrency mining platform, WHATS Invest. A person claiming to be Zuckerberg himself reached out to me, saying that he was personally backing the platform to help investors like me earn passive income. At first, I was skeptical—after all, how often do you get a direct connection to one of the world’s most famous tech entrepreneurs? But this individual seemed convincing and assured me that many people were already seeing substantial returns on their investments. He promised me a great opportunity to secure my financial future, so I decided to take the plunge and invest $10,000 into WHATS Invest. They told me that I could expect to see significant returns in just a few months, with payouts of at least $1,500 or more each month. I was excited, believing this would be my way out of financial struggles. However, as time passed, things didn’t go according to plan. Months went by, and I received very little communication. When I finally did receive a payout, it was nowhere near the $1,500 I was promised. Instead, I received just $200, barely 13% of what I had expected. Frustrated, I contacted the support team, but the responses were vague and unhelpful. No clear answers or solutions were offered, and my trust in the platform quickly started to erode. It became painfully clear that I wasn’t going to get anywhere with WHATS Invest, and I began to worry that my $10,000 might be lost for good. That's when I discovered Certified Recovery Services. Desperate to recover my funds, I decided to reach out to them for help. In just 24 hours, they worked tirelessly to recover the majority of my funds, successfully retrieving $8,500 85% of my initial investment. I couldn’t believe how quickly and efficiently they worked to get my money back. I’m extremely grateful for Certified Recovery Servicer's fast and professional service. Without them, I would have been left with a significant loss, and I would have had no idea how to move forward. If you find yourself in a similar situation with WHATS Invest or any other platform that isn’t delivering as promised, I highly recommend reaching out to Certified Recovery Services They were a lifesaver for me, helping me recover nearly all of my funds. It's reassuring to know that trustworthy services like this exist to help people when things go wrong. They also specialize in recovering money lost to online scams, so if you’ve fallen victim to such a scam, don’t hesitate to contact Certified Recovery Services they can help!

Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: +1(740)258‑1417
mail: certifiedrecoveryservices @zohomail. com, certified @financier. com
Website info; https: //certifiedrecoveryservices. com

MCIA-LEVEL-1 MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test is one of the MuleSoft affirmation tests, which can upgrade your position and work on your life. However, how do get ready for the MCIA-LEVEL-1 test well and pass it effectively? While scanning on the web asset for MCIA-LEVEL-1 MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test, DumpsCafe strongly prescribes you pick an online MCIA-LEVEL-1 practice test. MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 MCIA-LEVEL-1 test questions are kept in touch with the best expectations of specialized exactness, given by our guaranteed well-informed authorities and distributed creators for advancement. You will pass MCIA-LEVEL-1 MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test with online review materials, 100% cashback included.
Get ready to pass the exam with the help of the MuleSoft MCIA-LEVEL-1 exam:

Readiness of accreditation tests could be covered with two asset types. The first is the review guides, reference books, and study discussions that are explained and suitable for developing data starting from the earliest stage. Aside from the video instructional exercises and talks are a decent choice to facilitate the aggravation of through study and are somewhat make the review cycle really fascinating in any case these interest time and fixation from the student.

Brilliant up-and-comers who wish to make a strong establishment out and out assessment themes and associated advancements commonly blend video addresses with a concentrate on advisers for harvest the upsides of each, however, practice tests or practice test motors is one significant review device that goes ordinarily unnoted by most competitors.

Practice tests are planned with our specialists to make test possibilities test their insight on abilities accomplished in the course, just as possibilities become agreeable and acquainted with the genuine test climate. Measurements have shown test uneasiness assumes a lot greater part in an understudy's disappointment in the test than the dread of the obscure.
Confirmation questions master group suggests setting up certain notes on these subjects alongside it remember to rehearse MuleSoft MCIA-LEVEL-1 dumps which had been composed by our master group, each of these can help you loads to clear this test with superb imprints.

DumpsCafe gives you the latest MCIA-LEVEL-1 exam questions:

DumpsCafe has in addition presented two or three supporting devices and learning modes that will help you in having a fitting enthusiasm for the fundamental limits and to additional work with your MCIA-LEVEL-1 dumps status association with getting MuleSoft Architect attestation with a guarantee. A couple of up-and-comers need to further develop abilities to get movements or others need to have a promising beginning in the MuleSoft MCIA-LEVEL-1 dumps announcement world and with this part, they can plan as shown by their singular basics.
DumpsCafe MCIA-LEVEL-1 test dumps are similarly open in the pdf plan so you can use this report in any of your splendid devices whether it is a PDA, tablet, or even a PC. We have made this relationship in the pdf record so it can end up being less difficult for you to utilize and you can start perusing for your MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test wherever.
MuleSoft MCIA-LEVEL-1 content makes you ready for the real exam:

Rather than following the ages-old idea of MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test readiness utilizing voluminous books and notes, DumpsCafe has presented a brief, direct, and most important substance that is incredibly useful in passing any accreditation MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 test. For an occurrence, their MCIA-LEVEL-1 refreshed review guide covers the whole prospectus in a particular number of inquiries and replies. The data, given in the review questions, is streamlined to the level of a normal test competitor. Any place, it is fundamental, the appropriate responses have been clarified further with the assistance of reproductions, diagrams, and additional notes.

Conclusion:

Need to pass your MuleSoft MCIA-LEVEL-1 test in the primary attempt? Download the most recent MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 MCIA-LEVEL-1 dumps and invest however much energy as could be expected to rehearse before your MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 exam. Passcert group profoundly proposes everybody purchase MuleSoft Certified Integration Architect - Level 1 MCIA-LEVEL-1 dumps when you will take your test in several weeks. Please keep sufficient opportunities to practice. DumpsCafe guarantees 100% passing your MuleSoft certificate MCIA-LEVEL-1 test effectively.

For more info: www(dot)dumpscafe(dot)com/Braindumps-MCIA-Level-1.html

Secure Office Movers is a company that caters to business people who require Corporate relocation services in South Florida and beyond, we provide comprehensive moving planning, certified project management and handling of all office property. Our experience and commitment to efficiency ensure that every movement is made with the shortest time and highest accuracy.

I NEED HELP FOR CRYPTOCURRENCY / BITCOIN RECOVERY - CONTACT iFORCE HACKER RECOVERY

iFORCE HACKER RECOVERY procedures are carried out with a high cryptocurrency recovery company

Our Certified bitcoin Investigator on-site training program, created in collaboration with Blockchain Intelligence Group, is something that iFORCE HACKER RECOVERY is really proud of.

Webpage; iforcehackersrecovery.c o m

WhatAp; +1, 240 ( 803, 37 06 )

E-mail; contact@iforcehackersrecovery. com

CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES: CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERTS YOU CAN TRUST

Certified recovery services is totally incredible! I mean, for real, I never thought that I'd need a miracle to recover from a "simple" software update, but here we are. I was drinking coffee, clicking that update button like a good grown-up, and then out of nowhere—boom—my Bitcoin wallet that held $250,000 was more locked up than my grandad's liquor cabinet on holidays with the family.
Now, my grandfather used to always tell me, "If you're gonna lose your mind, at least do it with a beer in your hand," but you know what—there ain't enough beer in this world when you realize that your recovery word is misspelled. I rechecked that piece of paper a million times hoping that magically the letters would reorder themselves. Spoiler alert—they did not.
Cue the panic. I paced my living room back and forth, talking to my dog as if he knew the solution. Grandad's words came ringing in my head again: "If you mess up, don't cry—fix it. Or at least cry while you're fixing it." So, with the Google at my command and a tear in my eye, I found Certified Recovery Services.
I'll admit, I was skeptical. It was too good to be true, like the TV adverts grandad loved to watch where the mop also made coffee. But necessity created boldness. Right from the first phone call, their customer service was professional but also understanding—like they could tell I was two steps from hugging my laptop and apologizing to it.
They told me the whole thing to me in calming tones and reassured me that all was not lost (though my sanity threatened to be lost). Their updates were so regular, I came to look forward to their emails even more than my pizza delivery man brings mine. Within days—bingo, presto, like magic—my wallet was returned. All $250,000, sitting there as if it never even departed. I nearly kissed one on my screen.
Grandad had a saying: "Life's gonna hit you in the face. Duck, or hire someone wiser than you." And that wiser person, it turns out, was Certified Recovery Services. They saved my money and my blood pressure, at least. So if your web world falls in, don't panic—down a pint, remember grandad's words of wisdom, and ring Certified Recovery Services. They'll sort you out.

Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )

Hire a Hacker to Recover Lost or Stolen Crypto/Bitcoin: VISIT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES The Best Company For Crypto Recovery

Online scams and cybercrime have reached alarming levels, wreaking havoc on lives, draining hard-earned savings, and crippling businesses. Fraudsters operate under various guises, including fake investment platforms, binary options scams, forex trading fraud, and cryptocurrency schemes, all designed to steal from unsuspecting victims. These criminals are highly sophisticated, employing psychological manipulation and making fake promises of high returns to lure people in, only to vanish with their money. I am sharing my story as a warning to others who may find themselves in similar situations. I was once a victim of a well-orchestrated binary options scam, where I lost a staggering $150,300 in Bitcoin to a fraudulent broker. At first, everything seemed legitimate. The platform appeared professional, and the promises of high returns were enticing. However, once I invested my money, the scammers disappeared without a trace, leaving me stranded and devastated. The emotional toll was unbearable; I felt hopeless, trapped in a cycle of depression, and unsure if I would ever recover my lost funds. Fortunately, I eventually met CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, a trusted and highly skilled investigative and recovery agency. Their team of cybersecurity experts specializes in tracking and recovering funds lost to online scams. With their help, I was able to reclaim my stolen money and get my life back on track. Their persistence and technical expertise were nothing short of miraculous, providing me with the support I desperately needed during a dark time. If you or someone you know has fallen victim to any form of online fraud whether it’s a fake investment scheme or cryptocurrency theft I urge you to seek help immediately. Time is critical in these cases, and the sooner you act, the higher the chances of recovery. CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES has proven to be a reliable solution for countless victims like myself. They utilize advanced techniques to trace stolen funds, expose fraudsters, and assist in legal actions when necessary. Don't let shame or fear keep you silent; scammers thrive when victims remain quiet. To anyone reading this: Stay vigilant, conduct thorough research before investing, and never trust opportunities that seem "too good to be true." If you’ve been scammed, don’t give up hope reach out to a reputable recovery service like CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES for assistance. Your path to recovery may be closer than you think.
Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )
Telegram: https: //t.me/certified recovery services

Hire A Cryptocurrency Fraud Recovery Hacker Service Online: VISIT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

It started with optimism. A serendipitous encounter with an old college friend in Miami’s bustling airport led to a conversation about financial growth. He spoke glowingly of Dollar fx net, a platform he insisted had doubled his investments. Trusting his enthusiasm, I deposited 10,000 USD a substantial chunk of my job savings only to face a shocking roadblock weeks later. The platform demanded an additional 5,000 “verification fee” to unlock withdrawals. My stomach dropped; this wasn’t a hiccup it was a trap. Stress pushed me into research mode. Scouring cybersecurity forums, I uncovered countless stories mirroring mine: unregulated platforms exploiting trust, draining accounts under false pretenses. Then, a lifeline a Reddit thread praising CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES for their no-nonsense approach to fund retrieval. Skeptical but out of options, I submitted a case file through their portal, hoping for a miracle. The response from CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was swift and reassuring. They outlined a comprehensive strategy: trace the digital trail of my 10,000 USD, they apply pressure on the platform through legal backchannels. Their transparency struck me while they couldn’t guarantee success, their expertise was evident. Over the next week, CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES became my digital sherpa, guiding me through the murky waters of online fraud recovery. Their team meticulously decoded Dollar fx net’s obfuscated transaction logs, revealing that my funds had been funneled into offshore wallets, far from any regulatory oversight. Armed with this information, their legal team issued takedown notices to payment processors linked to the platform, effectively putting them on notice. The pressure worked: on day 10, I received a cryptic email from Dollar fx net claiming my account was “under review. "By week two, the impossible happened my original 10,000 USD reappeared in my bank account, sans the fabricated fees. CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES later explained how their threat of exposing the platform’s infrastructure to regulators had forced their hand. Their relentless pursuit of justice to recover my funds and also highlighted the importance of holding fraudulent platforms accountable. This ordeal taught me two harsh truths: not all opportunities are as they seem, and due diligence is non-negotiable. Yet it also revealed heroes like CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES ethical hackers who use their skills to fight back against fraud. I now understand that vigilance and the right support can turn the tide against deceit. In a world where fraudsters thrive on silence, speaking out and seeking help can be the most powerful tools in reclaiming what is rightfully yours.
Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )

CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT VISIT CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES FOR FAST RECOVERY

I am a Switzerland based professional in the investment industry and on CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES to expand my network and connect with other industry professionals. I would be happy to connect you all with CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES and start the dialogue to see how we can cooperate.

New investors should be cautious about where they choose to trade, as there are many scammers out there who are willing to do whatever it takes to steal your money. I, unfortunately, learned this lesson the hard way. I was initially attracted to a trading platform that promised high returns with little risk, which sounded too good to be true. At first, everything seemed legitimate, but soon I realized things weren’t as they seemed. At first, my account was growing slowly, and I felt encouraged to contribute more. However, things took a turn when I was asked to make additional payments and even pay taxes on earnings that hadn’t actually been realized. At that point, I started to question the situation. Why was I being asked to pay more money when I hadn’t even been able to withdraw any of the funds? When I attempted to withdraw my money, I faced numerous obstacles, and I realized something was wrong. The platform seemed to be designed to trap users, making it almost impossible to recover funds. Feeling helpless and frustrated, I started researching how to get my money back. That’s when I came across CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. At first, I was skeptical, having already been scammed once, but I decided to reach out. Their team was professional, responsive, and understanding of my situation. They walked me through the entire process and gave me the guidance I needed to take the right steps. It wasn’t easy, but with their help, I was able to navigate the complicated recovery process and finally get my money back. I cannot thank CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES enough for their excellent work. Their expertise and persistence gave me hope during a time when I felt completely defeated. Thanks to them, I am now more cautious about where I invest my money, and I’ve learned how important it is to choose trustworthy platforms and experts who can help when things go wrong. If you’re ever in a similar situation, don’t hesitate to contact a reputable recovery service like CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. They understand the complexities of dealing with online scams and can help you get back on track. Investing is risky enough without having to worry about fraud, but with the right support, recovery is possible.
WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417

CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES: CRYPTO RECOVERY FOR INDIVIDUALS AND BUSINESSES

I am a Malta based professional in the investment industry and on CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES to expand my network and connect with other industry professionals. I would be happy to connect you all with CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES and start the dialogue to see how we can cooperate.

At my prime age, I had never imagined that fraud could infiltrate every aspect of life, even in areas I had always considered safe. I believed that storing some of my wealth in a reputable investment platform was the safest decision. After all, I was in control of my wallet, keeping the keys and seed secure. I thought this would allow my wealth to grow steadily while offering peace of mind. Little did I know, the platform I had trusted was a well-orchestrated scam. In just a few months, I watched in horror as around AUD 985,000 of my hard-earned money vanished without the ability to withdraw it. I was left utterly stunned. The platform had promised me high returns and encouraged me to invest more, all the while assuring me that my funds were safe. But as time went on, my withdrawals were increasingly delayed, and eventually, I could no longer access my own money. The more I tried to reach out for support, the more I realized I was being ignored. It felt like an absolute betrayal, and the emotional toll was unbearable. As I sank deeper into despair, I turned to the internet to find answers. After reading countless reviews and testimonies of others who had suffered the same fate, I came across CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. At that point, I had nearly given up on everything, including life itself. The weight of the loss, both financial and emotional, was crushing. But something about CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES’s reputation gave me a glimmer of hope. I decided to take a chance, and it was the best decision I ever made. The team at CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES approached the situation with professional dedication. They worked tirelessly, using their expertise to track and recover my lost funds. Throughout the process, they kept me informed and reassured me that there was still hope. Their persistence paid off, and after weeks of diligent effort, I was able to recover the full amount of AUD 985,000.If not for CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, I honestly don’t know where I would be today. They not only helped me recover my funds but also restored my faith in the possibility of justice in an increasingly deceptive world. My experience has been a harsh reminder that fraud can happen in the most unexpected places, even when you believe you are being cautious. It’s crucial to stay vigilant and always seek help when you need it.

FOR MORE INFO:
WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417

HOW TO RECOVER LOST OR STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCY HIRE CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

I am beyond grateful to share my experience with CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, a company that has proven to be a true lifeline for those like me who thought they had lost their Bitcoin investments forever. The world of cryptocurrency, while offering tremendous opportunities, can also be a perilous landscape, where a single mistake or a sudden system failure can lead to significant financial loss. I found myself in such a situation, and thanks to the dedicated team at CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES, I was able to recover what I thought was gone forever. In 2021, I invested a substantial sum into Bitcoin, eagerly watching the market trends and hoping for substantial returns. However, as the market fluctuated, I found myself caught in a series of unfortunate events. First, I fell victim to a phishing scam that compromised my personal information and led to the loss of my Bitcoin. My initial panic was beyond words - I had invested a large portion of my savings, and the thought of losing it all was devastating. I felt powerless and received automated responses when I tried to reach customer service multiple times through the exchange I was using. I didn't know where to go next. It appeared as though my Bitcoin assets were lost forever because every path seemed to lead to nothing. I came discovered CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES at that point. From the moment I reached out to CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES on WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417, I knew I was in capable hands. The process was straightforward. I explained my situation, detailing how I lost my Bitcoin and the steps I had already taken to try to recover it. The customer service team at CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was empathetic and understanding. They reassured me that my case wasn't hopeless, explaining the methods they use to track and recover lost crypto investments, even when critical information like wallet keys or recovery phrases is lost or compromised. The team at CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES started by verifying my identity and confirming my ownership of the Bitcoin in question. They then initiated an in-depth analysis of the wallet's blockchain data, tracking the lost assets across various exchanges and addresses. They also reached out to several platforms and services involved in the transaction history, leveraging their extensive network in the cryptocurrency industry. After what felt like an eternity of waiting, I received the best news possible - my Bitcoin had been successfully recovered! The amount I thought was lost for good was now accessible again, thanks to the tireless efforts of the CERTIDIED RECOVERY SERVICES team. They not only managed to recover my assets but also took proactive steps to ensure my future investments would be secure. for assistance reach them with the below information.
Email:contact (@)c e r t i f i e d r e c o v e r y s e r v i c es. c o m

How to Recover Stolen Bitcoin: Hire a Certified Bitcoin Recovery Expert / Captain WebGenesis

The Captain WebGenesis recovery intelligence, their committed team of skilled experts strives to stop fraud and recover lost, scammed or hacked Crypto assets. Their main goal is to help his clients achieve financial security by providing them with excellent services. Captain WebGenesis firmly believes that everyone should have access to their hard-earned money, and they’ve made Crypto recovery, which was once a difficult task, more affordable and accessible.

HOW TO HIRE A CERTIFIED CRYPTO RECOVERY EXPERT \ CAPTAIN WEBGENESIS

I Want to sincerely thank Captain WebGenesis for his exceptional crypto recovery service he offered to me. The recovery Expert was able to recover my hacked ethereum wallet containing $85,000 of my funds and he helped me secure the digital assets. Captain WebGenesis's professionalism and communication was top notch. I highly recommend Captain WebGenesis for all Crypto scam recovery services.

Contact Information;
Email Add; Captainwebgenesis @ hackermail. com
WhatsApp; +1(501)436-9362.

HOW TO RECOVER YOUR STOLEN CRYPTOCURRENCIES? HIRE CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

A Bitcoin hardware wallet is often considered the ultimate security measure, the fail-safe that protects your assets from theft, hacking, or any other risks. Unless you lose it during a move, and that’s exactly what I did.
$450,000 worth of Bitcoin, securely stored on a hardware wallet, was now somewhere between my old apartment and my new one. I searched everywhere every box, every bag, even checked the fridge (yes, I checked the fridge don’t judge me). But despite my efforts, the wallet was nowhere to be found. The panic that set in was indescribable. I felt like I had lost everything, and the sinking feeling in my stomach was impossible to shake.
Desperate, I turned to CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. I wasn’t sure what they could do for me, but I figured I had nothing to lose. From the first moment I contacted them, I could tell I was dealing with professionals. Their team stayed calm, composed, and confident in the face of my panic. They quickly laid out the steps they would take to try and recover my funds, explaining how they could use advanced methods to retrieve my private keys remotely and restore access to my wallet. I was reassured by their clear communication and methodical approach.
What really set CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES apart was their professionalism and transparency. While I was frazzled and overwhelmed, they were calm and focused. They kept me updated at every stage of the process, providing clear explanations about what they were doing and why. This level of communication was invaluable, as it gave me a sense of control over a situation that was otherwise completely out of my hands.
Another major plus was their honest, upfront pricing. There were no hidden fees or surprise charges, which made the entire process less stressful. I knew exactly what I was paying for, and I appreciated the transparency throughout the entire recovery process.
And then, after a tense waiting period, I got the call I had been hoping for: They had recovered my Bitcoin. Every single penny of my $450,000 was safely returned to my wallet. The relief I felt was indescribable. It was a huge weight off my shoulders, and I couldn’t believe my luck.
But they didn’t stop there. They also took the time to secure my other wallet, which held an additional $480,000, ensuring that I wouldn’t fall victim to another attack in the future. Their guidance on security best practices made me feel confident in my ability to protect my assets going forward.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, don’t hesitate, call CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. They are the real deal, and they’ll get you back on track.

FORE MORE INFO:
Company: CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES
WhatsApp: +1 (740) 258‑1417

How to recover bitcoin/cryptocurrency from scammers and fraudsters; HIRE CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES

I never knew I would fall victim to a scam, especially not in the fast-paced world of cryptocurrency. When I came across an opportunity to appear on a crypto podcast, I was excited. The promise of exposure and the chance to connect with like-minded individuals in the crypto community seemed too good to pass up. The podcast appeared legitimate, complete with a professional website, glowing testimonials, and a polished social media presence. I felt confident that this was a step forward for my career. After some back-and-forth communication with the supposed host, I was convinced to pay $9,500 to secure my spot on the show. I imagined the doors this opportunity would open for me new connections, potential partnerships, and a boost in credibility. However, after I made the payment, everything changed. The communication I had enjoyed suddenly stopped. My emails went unanswered, and the podcast’s website vanished into thin air. I was left feeling devastated and foolish. In my desperation, I began searching for help and stumbled upon CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. I was skeptical at first, but I had nothing to lose. I reached out to them, and to my surprise, they took my case seriously. Their team of experts began investigating the scammer, employing advanced tracking techniques to uncover the digital trail left behind. I watched as they worked diligently, piecing together the puzzle of my lost funds. To my amazement, CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES was able to trace the scammer and recover 95% of my money. The relief I felt was overwhelming. Not only did I regain most of my lost funds, but I also learned a valuable lesson about the importance of due diligence in the online space. This experience has made me more cautious and aware of the potential pitfalls in the cryptocurrency world. While I wish I had never fallen for the scam, I am grateful for the support I received from CERTIFIED RECOVERY SERVICES. Their expertise not only helped me recover my money but also empowered me to share my story. I hope that by speaking out, I can help others avoid the same fate and encourage them to be vigilant when navigating the exciting yet risky landscape of cryptocurrency.
Here's Their Info Below:
WhatsApp: (+1(740)258‑1417 )