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In a meeting after I explained that the user passwords will be encrypted before we save them in the database
Them: "Please don't do that, we don't want to change our clients data"
Me: " so we should save the clear text?"
Them: "Yes"
😒9 -
Speaking of bad dev days, what a week I'll be having.
Lead-dev: I've got some bad news for you.
Me: Client X?
Lead: Client X.
Me: How many pages do I have to change?
Lead: All of them.
Me: On how many of their websites?
Lead: All of them.
Me: All of them?
Lead: All. Of. Them.18 -
Not a coding test, but:
Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?
Me: yes.
Them: do you make logos?
Me: ...I can...?
Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.
Me: I'm out.8 -
*Looking at other student’s code*
Me: Why do you have a line that only says “var != var2”? That doesn’t do anything.
Them: That tells the computer to set var to anything except var2, right?
Me:
11 -
It's depressing how true this is
Me: "Tech support, how can I help you?"
Them: " I'm not able to log into the website!"
Me: "Okay, what message is it showing when you try to log in?"
Them: "Sir, I am NOT a computer person so I don't know."
Me: "Do you know which web browser you're using?"
Them: "I don't know what that is!"
Me: "Okay, when you want to go on the internet, do you click on a blue E, or a mulicolored circle, or..."
Them: "SIR I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A COMPUTER PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO THELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"12 -
GF: please remember the flowers!
Me: I'll set a reminder.
GF: and don't forget to wrap them in water.
Me: I'll see what I can do about the laws of physics.
GF: ... I swear to god..
Me: yes yes I'll wrap them in water.7 -
I don't judge other developers for not knowing or understanding a particular concept, I judge them for pretending like they do...1
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If the machines do rise up and take over the world, I just hope my devices remember how good i was to them.10
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"We e-mailed out the wrong newsletter last night, how do we get them all returned back before anyone reads them?"
- Client
...I, uh, nope.2 -
Me: "Back your phone up, or you'll regret it."
*6 months later
Them: "I've locked myself out of my phone, how do I get my pictures back?!"
Me: "Did you back it up?"
Them: "No..."
Me: 🙃6 -
The biggest problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
Not what you want them to do.1 -
me: do you know what is so great about UDP jokes?
you: No
me: the fact that i don't care if you got them.1 -
Why do viruses make computers so slow...? Why can't their programmers implement them efficiently...?
It's like they're trying to be malicious...2 -
Them: "Could you send the password in an encrypted mail?"
Me: "Yea sure, what's your GPG public key?"
Them: "What's that? Can't you just encrypt it?"
Me: "Nvm, do you have Signal?"6 -
Update on my job interviews:
I had four so far.
Got rejected from all of them.
The reason of most of them was that they would have to teach me too much.
I am applying as a junior.
What do they expect? Fucking Linus Torvalds or geohot?11 -
Development is a team sport.
If you think you can do something better but your team doesn't understand it or can't work with them. You have two options: Teach them or don't do it.
This task seems easy but teach and tell are different things. Prepare to repeat things over and over again and give up your own time to share the knowledge.9 -
Why do Pokemon masters love JavaScript?
Because you gotta, try/catch them all
Haha. No laughs? Okay
*curls into a ball7 -
Feature request:
When @ is pressed, opens up a list of people who have commented on a rant, do we can mention them quickly14 -
Why the hell do people make websites with VALID SSL certs redirect BACK TO HTTP? What the fuck is wrong with them?!5
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Being a college student and knowing that when someone ask for "help" they actually mean "Give me your code"
The other day someone asked me for a way to solve a homework and I instead gave them the links from MSDN of the libraries and method he needed and he was like "Okay but how do I use this, how did you do it?" I facepalmed and decided to delete them from facebook, I hate leeches who wants me to do their jobs.8 -
I loved the idea of making computers do the dirty job for me.
Jokes on me, I learned I had to do dirty job for them to do the dirty job for me.1 -
I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them5 -
Why... why the fuck do people write unit tests and then comment out the god damn fucking assertion lines....
Like what the flying fuck? Cool, we can get some code coverage marks but for fuck sake actually let your tests do their fucking job!!!
Oh, the asserts fail?
Well fucking sort that shit out instead of commenting them out.
I don't get it, if you're going to write tests, fucking test something with them, or we'd be better of without them.7 -
*team convo*
Dev: We will create another branch for the changes and merge them when required.
Director: Can we not do the changes in the current branch and comment them out until required? I think that’s cleaner and not confusing in my opinion.
Beautiful mf!6 -
Someone called me saying that the system wasnt letting them login.
I walked over to their desk to see that they had the application open with the credentials filled in. I clicked "OK" and what do you know, it logged them in!1 -
Do you leave easter eggs at any of your projects? If yes - what are the most interesting of them?26
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DO NOT TEACH DIRECTLY HOW TO USE SOMETHING! TEACH THEM HOW TO LEARN BY THEMSELVES!!!! What they teach is outdated and unfit for most students2
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I work as an Enterprise Java Developer. When people ask me what I do, I tell them I work with beans.3
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If you haven't seen silicon valley... Do... For the love of God do.
And if you don't like it one... We will never get on, it's god damn hilarious ... Constantly
3rd time I've watched them all
It's perfect.10 -
"The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do."
- Ted Nelson3 -
Web products that disable text selection. I hate them, there are 0 reasons to do that, and still it's done.16
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Android Studio, could you please, pretty please, pleaaaasssse update my drawables on the layout preview when I change them? Or, at least, if I change 10 images, update all of them, or none. Don't choose randomly what to do with them. It's really unnerving.3
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Customer puts laptop on counter and turns it on. It's not plugged in.
Customer: "So, do these things have batteries in them?"3 -
This is a ways out because I can't find LED filaments thin enough to simulate this, but if/when I find them, how difficult would it be to program a controller to have them map my circulatory system, with them pulsing in time to my pulse? I want to do something cool with my arm, and this keeps coming into my head, but I'm freaking out over how difficult I'm thinking this is going to be.
Ideas? Either on how to do this, or what else I can (reasonably) do? Friends irl want a rocket punch, I want a flamethrower, but anything else?72 -
Person: So what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Person: So you're good with computers? You know mines been having this problem...
Me: *Kicking them in the shin and running is always an option*2 -
!Dev
WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO MEET STUPID RELATIVES.
I HAVE NOT MET THEM FROM PAST 5 YEARS AND NOW MY PARENTS ARE FORCING ME TO MEET THEM SAYING THAT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO MEET THEM FOR QUITE A LONG WHILE (BECAUSE I AM SHIFTING 5000 KM FOR JOB).
NO, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM AND WON'T TRAVEL FOR 6 HRS JUST FOR THEM TO SAY YOU ARE SHY. NO I AIN'T SHY YOU ARE AN IDIOT.14 -
Them: "What can we do to fix this?"
Me: Contact the vendor
Them: Ok, but from our side?
Me: Wait for the vendor to reply
Them: And what can we do to prevent this from happening again?
Me: get better vendors, include I.T on the process when the org decides to purchase shitty third party software.
Them: Ok but besides that?
Me: Drink?
Seriously tho, tf you expect me to do?5 -
When u correct someone's coding style, telling them it's not standard and tell them what is the standard way of doing it and they reply with a "why should I do it that way?"6
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Non technical people are interesting. Not only do we have to switch to unga bunga language to help them, but they accuse us of man-splaining when we do.5
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them: "This external HD isn't compatible with my Mac."
me: "It is, it probably just needs to be formatted."
them: *hands me box, with HD still in plastic wrap*
So, how do you know it's not compatible?2 -
Seven hours of meetings this week, and every. single. one. of them could have been an email.
How can they expect me to get anything done when all I’m doing is listening to them drone on and on and …
And of course this shouldn’t affect the deadlines. No siree! But can I work during them? Not a chance! … Totally do anyway …5 -
Was in a meeting(been quite a lot actually) with a lot of people that hold "director" in their title. As per our institution's salaries and ranking description, they do not "outrank" me. Our titles are just different, but they are there with me.
It surprises them quite a bit when they try to have some hold in the direction of my department just for me to tell them that they do not really get to tell me what to do or how to do things after I show them said chart. It surprises them a bit more when they find out what I am saying is completely true.
I don't appreciate people trying to manhandle my employees.
The conversations that follow are quite interesting as I am quite vocal in our interactions.7 -
what about your sites? do you like ads?
me: i dont like ads but my coworker added some ads to site. and i modified them as i wont see them :)
1 -
Rails console:
> `ModelOne.joins("ModelTwo")`
# => ActiveRecord::StatementInvalid (Mysql2::Error: Unknown table 'database_name.model_ones')
MariaDB:
> `select count(*) from database_name.model_ones`
# => 13274641
It's right there, ffs4 -
A sign in front of startup office:
Do not feed the developers! We keep them on a soylent diet - eating real food might make them question their life choices. -
Do all companies ask candidates to solve some crazy puzzles before interviewing them? These puzzles have nothing to do with the job!12
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When people tell you how easy your job is, the best thing to do is to make them do it for themselves.
Hate those People...2 -
The never ending struggle between my need to do things the right way and the way client wants them3
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In C# you are not able to do bitwise operations on generic enums so you have to cast them to an integer via object... 😐 Apart from that, this awesome code shows what C# can do 😊
7 -
gotta love them comments:
#TODO: move this,
#TODO: deprecated,
#TODO: fix this,
#TODO: DON'T DO THIS,
#TODO: refactor,
#TODO: CHANGE THIS
I shit you not6 -
My parents always feel proud about my job and money I got but they always ask one question every time I meet them..
What do I actually do?5 -
Fuck you for testing devs with them online algo tests instead of giving them real projects to do as a way to assess their coding skills15
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On the phone.
Them: "So we do X and Y and Z... can you try again?"
Me: "Yup. Still getting max retries error"
Them: "You know what, let me restart the server"
Me: "Whatever you did it worked. API is back online"
Them: "You're kidding me right?"
Took us 4 hours to restart a server.1 -
My worst bad practice:
Saving my Linux Root SSH Keys on a Cloud Storage company.
Have them there, so I wont loose them ever. I password protected them, but you never know what the NSA/FBI/CIA can do 😉1 -
Got some requests about changes in design some weeks ago. Did the most of what I can do, but something wasn't possible, so I told them that I cannot do what was requested.
They still ask me to do it.
5 -
First thing on Monday. The very first thing.
I fucking killed prod.
Reminder to my future self to either stash local config files and .htaccess files... or add them to gitignore... But either way, don't leave them lying around assuming I won't do something dumb and accidentally commit them. Because some fateful Monday morning before I've had my coffee I'm going to do something dumb.8 -
Recruiters sure do get pissy when you tell them that you're waiting for a counteroffer from your current employer9
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Is common decency too much to expect?
If you give someone a job in the company you work for, do you expect them to badmouth you? Or to try to humiliate you? Why do people do this?4 -
Neo: "Why do my eyes hurt?"
Morpheus: "You've never used them before... REST Neo, the answers are coming"
See; it was never SOAP!3 -
How often do you experience someone pitching an idea they want developed, which is so poorly thought through that when you ask them to elaborate, they turn sour and you never hear from them again?
5 -
Well today I found out that is perfectly fine to not communicate or look at your phone and be unresponsive while pair programming. They can't even write a single line of code on their own. I'm having to dictate them things by character. How can this be seen as a cultural difference. How the hell are they still employed and the most important question. Why do I need to accomodate to them and find ways to motivate them?
They should be doing what they are paid to do.5 -
I find it interesting to see how scenarios sometimes flip.
30 years ago, the generally accepted "best" thing to do when when interacting with a person of colour was to "not see colour" - to treat them as you would anyone else. Meanwhile the similarly accepted "best" thing to do when interacting with a physically disabled person was to recognise their disability, help them if appropriate, give them a boost, encourage them, etc.
Today it seems very much like the opposite. The correct thing to do when interacting with an ethnic minority is to see their colour, recognise their struggle, help them if appropriate, etc. - whereas with disabilities, that approach generally seems to have been labelled "inspiration porn", and the correct thing to do is simply not to see the disability, treating them like you would anyone else.
Not entirely comparable of course, but there's enough similarity there that I find the situation interesting.4 -
Do you think Project Managers should know what source control is and have a basic understanding of its concepts?
Do you think this will help them do a better job?7 -
Sometimes i wonder, why do big companies write horrible api, it feels like they don't want beginners to even touch them 😒3
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What do you think of someone who opens 50 tabs in any browser and just keep them and still adds more?38
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them: "Is it done yet?"
wisecrack: "Not yet."
them: "How close do you think you are to being done?"
wisecrack:"Dunno. It's going smooth though."
them:"well do you think it'll be done in a few days?"
wisecrack:"Well I don't know. Depends on if you want to keep playing 20 questions instead of letting me work."
them:"Well I'm just excited."
Wisecrack: "Ok."
Literal conversation I just had ten minutes ago.
Less excited each day I have to answer the same set of questions, sometimes multiple times a day as if I know the answer.
What do I look like, a professional developer?1 -
Whilst on vacation in the UK, I came across a store that sold Kinects for 2.50 £ each, as no one would buy them. I couldn't resist and bought three of them, I have one more at home.
... Any idea what to do with them? 😅
My current idea is building a 3D scanner for humans 🤔
4 -
Another day, another time exporting svgs from Figma, sizing them, and exporting them to png into our app as the developer.
But no, I get it, what designers do is extremely taxing on the brain and any additional steps must be excruciating! Let me do anything that requires even the lowest of double-digit IQ! After all, I'm your local resident full stack clown™️!
🤡4 -
I hate being sick. I have the brain power to come up with project ideas and the motivation to carry them through, but I don't have the brain power to actually do them.1
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When a Client is supposed to send you sponsor icons for the new website and all you get is a single PDF file containing all of them. Why ??!! This is even more work to do for them ???!!!
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Learning mainly C# and Java in college, started coding js and python in my free time. I really do love them all!2
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Never had any doubt in my skills and have always judged them accordingly.
I am very....very...annoyingly confident (and in love with) myself.
This does not mean i do not acknowledge me fucking up and being wrong. It just means that even when I fuck up I learn from it, add it to my toolbelt and then continue to think that i am the bomb.
I don't compare my shit to others. I have never seem anyone effortlesly do anything, it is always the result of practice, passion, love and dedication and saying that it must be easy for them is an insult to them and their crafts.
I do not get jealous, nor do I feel smaller, i get pumped and motivated.3 -
Does anyone have a Microsoft Surface Pro? Do you like them? They look amazing, but are also pretty fucking expensive lol12
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Do i like stickers? I do.
Does that mean that I consider myself a pro? No
I just like them.
So fuck you assuming things that don’t make any fucking sense.1 -
Fucking pigeons and birds in general. They all don't want to move their asses when I drive lol.
Do they all want me to squeeze the shit out of them?!
Wtf is wrong with them?
I'm waiting for them to slowly pass by my car, but others would maybe not show the same patience.5 -
Hate it when I see the same Programming Meme/Joke on 10 Different accounts 50 times. *fuckResposts(), even though I do them a lot...
-
*Send 2 mockup options for new component*
Them: Nice! I'm torn, which one do you like?
Me: I like the first.
Them: Great, lets go with the second!
-.-3 -
My dad once told me "Computers are stupid because they do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do." and honestly that gets truer the more I mess with 'em.2
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Tired of non-dev co-workers talking to me like I work for them. They better be careful. I'll code their computers to do their jobs for them.
-
Raspberry Pi recently announced their first micro controller.
Will I buy two to four of them? Yes
Will I do anything with them the next 2 years? Probably not
https://raspberrypi.org/products/...20 -
It's computer science college, and yet :
Them : ... so thats how my project goes ! it's fun!
Me : whoa that's cool, do you use javascript?
Them : ... umm
Me : ...I suppose??
Them : uh, i use node and bulma actually.
WHAT THE FUCK?11 -
A good life lesson:
1. DON'T DELETE FILES YOU MAY WANT TO RECOVER
And if you DO delete them and then recover them, then
2. DON'T SEND THE RECOVERED FILES TO A·N·Y·O·N·E
Today I found a lost µSD card in the street. I did what every sane person would do -- plugged it into my laptop :)
There I found a directory with recovered pictures. I figured, some of them may contain the author's info in metadata, so I ran a quick plaintext search for @gmail.com.
Turns out, inside some of the recovered picture files I could find embedded company director's emails in plain-text. I mean, open the picture with a text editor and read through those emails - no problem! And these emails contain some quite sensitive info, e.g. login credentials (lots of them).
Bottom line, if you delete and recover your files, then do your best to keep them close: don't share them, don't lose them. You might be surprised what these recovered files may contain15 -
In horror movies. Characters do things that they them-self know it could kill them. Like getting in basement.
As a developer we all know to never deploy code on Friday. Here we are taking the wrong turn.2 -
Why do I feel like developers at Zoom don't have a life: They release a list of over hundreds of new updates and bug fixes almost everyday. As much as I give them credits I also still feel sorry for them.
4 -
Mother fucking candy crush cunts fucking Microsoft FUCK OFF REPEATEDLY REINSTALLING THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! THREE FUCKING TIMES TODAY I HAVE 'UNINSTALLED' THEM. Yet somehow, they keep FUCKING COMING BACK. not updating, haven't even clicked ok to install them, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO CONTROL MY PC MØRE THAN I DO! FUCK OFF!10
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When there were some coding questions to solve that I thought I can do but can't do more than 50% of them! It hurts to heart and I felt so gloomy.
-
Security! I wish clients would listen to me regarding security...
The client has started to ask me to give them access to all the logins I have for the email, domain, server etc.
I created them a new account and gave them admin access.
Now they’re asking for password for all the email accounts (I don’t even store them). So I asked why, she wanted to have them in case some of the employees forgot their password.
I explained to her, deeply and many times, WHY THIS IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA. I also discovered she’s keeping it in a document, clear text.
Why do they pay me for support, when they want to have access to everything...
I’m wondering if they’re planning to find someone else to do their support, or do it themselves.
I didn’t even think 25€ pr month is that expensive for support2 -
Just let people who already know the things you are teaching miss the class entirely. Give them some test at the end, this is okay but do not force them to suffer the endless hours of something they are already good at just because you want them to attend.2
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Metasyntactic variables, you use them, but do you know their origin?
This should be essential programmers knowledge:
https://ietf.org/rfc/rfc3092.txt/1 -
How do you get your Dev stickers? Do you gather them on events or do you actually buy them? And where do you buy them?
I am just curious about the best strategy...😅5 -
What is your OWN opinion on these new Javascript XMR-Miners?
I personally like them. I only want to be asked nicely to enable them so they don't cause problems. I would kindly do it.5 -
P L E A S E
Do not just teach them on how to program. Teach them on how to properly write a documentation and how to properly execute a project. Like, don't start coding directly. Teach how to plan a project properly especially on estimation. (lol)4 -
Every tech-related company sell more and more swag : tshirt, hoodies, GitLab even sell socks and Docker baby stuff.
Do any of them sell underwear ?!6 -
When you do a deploy and none of the tests fail and you get more suspicious of the code than when a couple of them do fail.
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Why do I get the urge to do 3-4 side projects just when I don't have time for neither of them and when I had time to do them I was just doing nothing all day...4
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Why on Earth are people letting management tell them how to code? It is not their job to know how to do it. Much less to tell you how to do it.8
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Convo I had 5 minutes with someone a just met at school
Them: what are you studying?
Me: computer science, what about you?
Them: so you know how to make websites?
Me: yea I have a couple years of experience in web dev but I like IT and automation more
Them: can I send you my white paper? Would u be ok with making a website for it?
Me: ....... potentially?
Thought it was weird they wanted me to do that for them when I just met them4 -
As I went through old open PRs, to sort them out and resolve them, I started to feel you do when you look at your childhood photos or in case of YouTubers at their old videos.
That is to say, I'm dying of shame.
*Well at least I'm cleaning them up now so~*3 -
!rant
I have multiple (similar) linux environments on which I work. How do you guys manage installed packages and configurations across them?14 -
One of the hardest things on the company Slack is knowing when to STFU and let them do their own Google search.1
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So we have 4 web apps that do basically the same thing with some nuances...
Just realized this today by trying to do something in one that is already working in 3 of them and wondering: what the fuck? -
Why do recruiters keep thinking they can contact me 5 months after i last spoke to them? Look at me LinkedIn. I have a job!2
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Doing research at my school over summer. Talk to some other researchers from other departments (chem, english, bio, etc). Tell them all about the cool work I do in robotics (I program them, not build them). One by one they proceed to ask me to make them a website/app since I know how to code. *Faceplam*3
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When everybody has an opinion even though you didn't ask them and you know how to do it.
Simple PHP problems....1 -
Why yes, yes I do sort my M&M's and Skittles according to color, then eat them from fewest to most.3
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Me: "when do you need this for?"
Them: "yesterday!hahahahahahhah"
Me: " :| Never heard that one before"1 -
You know these things that are obviously coming but you do not want to do them at any cost so you just keep on pushing them away?
Well it looks like I'm going to be homeless in January...1 -
Them: let's do iterative pull requests
Me: Great, can I have a review
Them: Your code touches a code that doesn't feel right, I can not approve this folly unless you fix following 30.000 lines:7 -
Got thousands of pet projects partially completed because nobody is actually interested in collaborating and I'm too lazy to do them all the way alone.4
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some people literally want you to do all the work for them
then complain when you don't do it for them
i'm sure they'll get far in life
🤡8 -
the funny thing about bugs, they reproduce on their own just fine, and often where you don't want to them. the trick is figuring out how they reproduce so you can work out how to make them stop reproducing. to do that, you have to intentionally reproduce them.2
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I hate interviews. I am not too keen on giving them and not too great at taking them, though I typically do well.
We are smart people, there has to be a better way than coding things on the fly... -
Our company fails the Joel test so badly, most strongly on the question 'Do you use the best tools money can buy?'
I've got the best laptop in the company, which is why I'm not allowed to complain (even though I do, see image), but some of my co-workers have dreadfully slow machines. I pity them so much, especially whenever I sit next to them to do some pair programming e.g.
41 -
I'm probably gonna use http://codewars.com instead of doing the dumb C# programs I'm supposed to do in the programming lesson. I'll just do them really quick at home (no challenge whatsoever) and then get to more challenging stuff...2
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I have to go onto windows to do something that Linux can't do. Should I be worried about all the updates? (particularly worried about them overwriting my other partitions since I dual-booted)7
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Them: I want to be a full stack developer!
Me: Are you sure?
Them: Yeah. absolutely I'll do whatever it takes!
Me: I'll hold you to that, I will piss you off everyday if I have to, to get you learning.
Them: OK, yeah, do it!
Some weeks later
Them: I want to be a front end developer, routing and models are confusing.
Me: I would laugh you out of an interview, keep practicing and just stick with one thing before chasing the next quick reward endeavor until the difficulty curve ramps up and you give up on that too!
Them: ... But it's hard...
Me: So practice, over and over until it sinks in, it's like playing the cello or whatever, just keep practicing!6 -
At a "guided internship".
Task: Develop a complete web application form
Was assigned to a team of 7 where all are "Frontend Developers" who have never heard terms like "bootstrap" or "mobile-first web pages".
That aside, all are seniors in age and qualifications, hence me telling them something to do is "ordering them around". And if I tell them to leave things to me, they be like "No, we wanna contribute and do the Frontend, as these things don't matter, inline css just works fine". 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Why Lord? Just why?4 -
Question; if you've got a team member who's been phoning it in during the last few sprints and their inattention causes extra work for others, what do you do?
- Have a private word directly one to one.
- Say nothing but bitch amongst yourselves
- Complain to the team lead
- Call them out during a daily standup and tell them they're producing shit.
Any opinions?3 -
I tell friends ways to hack "jailed" devices to run linux or other custom software. Because they have no clue about such.. I do it for them.. -.- WHY DO I EVEN TELL THEM???
-
Used to work salary and in-house for client but now do freelance for them ‘cause ‘rona.
Adobe CC and Font Suitcase licenses are due for renewal and they want to cancel them for all but essential in-house senior staff.
I tell them I have both at home, on my own dime, but I need their font folder to be able to use them.
So I have 12,000 fonts now.1 -
cowsay.
fucking cowsay.
all the nice models and none of them work.
the things we do when we should be doing something productive.
26 -
Javaw.exe not found. Why the fuck do I have open like 10 files and hand modify them before developing anything useful in Windows...
2 -
Users have use cases, test cases, user manual etc documented material with them at the time of UAT.
But in the end users do only those things which they don't suppose to do..!! 😑😥1 -
I said do fucking not include log files in the git repository! I have removed them and added them to the gitignore and there are they again...2
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Guys i had a question...do people managers get more salary than developers? If they do then would i ever earn more than them in future and how long will it take for me to earn more money than them? Dont get me wrong, i dont have anything against them, i just want devs who do all these stressful complicated stuff to have more salary than people managers...your thoughts please, thanks9
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Love it when I try to find a free Web hosting to do a little testing online... But All of them have a broken PhpMyAdmin panel. >.<12
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These devs keep getting hold of me to tell me that what I told them to do worked.
Well, yeah. That's why I said to do it.1 -
Fuck being asked every time if I fix computers, Bitch I code in them!
It's like being asked: do you fix cars? No? But if work using your car, how come you don't know how to fix them?2 -
I'm preparing slides for my "Vim in an IDE world" talk right now. Do you use vim emulation plugins inside Intellij-based or any other IDEs? What do you think about them? What can you recommend to the beginners?12
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How often do you use design patterns and which one most?
Please add your language in which you use them.7 -
How can I interview new developers like a boss. E.g. Give them a PSD and tell them to do the layout etc. What you guys recommend?3
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Do u all have a coworker that makes you astonished and baffled how they possibly got some poor sucker to get married to them?9
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What do devs here do when lack of motivation strikes hard? I have lots of projects in Swift and RN in progress but zero drive to touch them.
Asking for a friend ... 😂7 -
Anything that I can make a computer do but can't because my boss doesn't think it's a good use of my time...
I have a lot of those now but can't automate them because.... I'm too busy dealing with them...4 -
Using some tools - do you learn all their default keybindings (hotkeys), or do you customize them? [do you re-customize them with every new installation/workstation?]
Like vim, ide, SQL client, etc.
[thinking about IntelliJ's CTRL+F4.. It feels off]
I for one prefer defaults.3 -
Amazing how leaders keep rescheduling 101's, but will find the time to do them as soon as they have negative feedback to share3
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Ok. Productivity round 2 - what do people DO (not use) that helps keep them productive and organized?7
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What do program codes and churches have in common? First we build them, then we start praying on them.🙏🏻
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How the fuck do classes work in Python? Why, exactly, do people make them for themselves? I get doing it for like making modules other people will use, but just for your own shit...?25
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What do i do?
I worry about problems that don't exists yet. Look for breaches that are not made. And am pissed off at things that are slow but I've never used them. -
When other teams don't do their work well and block my work I have to play VR games all day.
Damn them!
I've reached a level where even without Quest2 on I see in 3D... even when I'm looking at 2D things (e.g. devRant's rants)
Damn them!1 -
Who uses a database server at home, which one, what do you store on them/do with it and what do you with the data?5
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received them yesterday 😊 they're much better than expected 😱☺️ thank you Team devRant 😉
now I'm just wandering what to do with them 🤔 I mean obviously I want to stick them on my laptop but it's 4 years old and it's got its best behind so I was thinking should I wait until I buy a new laptop? 🤔
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Sitting and making mobile phones do what i want. When i tell them what i really do they just say:"I don't any word you say, but i think it's good!" 🤔
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!Rant
How do non-students get their IDE's?
I couldn't imagine working without Visual Studio Enterprise + ReSharper and all the Jetbrains tools, but I wouldn't by them myself (because I'm a poor student)...so how do you guys do it?17 -
When friends ask me to do some coding...
Them: I want/need this and that and... [trillions of features and "cool" stuffs]
Me: ...okay
Them: Oh and this and that and [more "cool" stuff]
Me: Alright.. when do you need it?
Them: something around a week?
Is it just me or does everyone -not- accustomed to coding think that projects are usually done in a few days...?
Maybe the common opinion about coders is something like: They aren't humans, they are machines which convert caffeine during night time to source code3 -
our clients are basically asking us to decide for them the requirements and that's simply absurd? they're supposed to tell us what the hell they want. if we actually take creative liberties, i bet it'd take a day for them to ask for a do over4
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Why the fuck do SD cards always land on the floor dark-side up?! It's so fucking frustrating to find them!!7
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When someone asks me about the home WiFi being slow for them...
Me: Do I look like I make the rules?
They never reply affirmatively. -
facebook, where the fuck do you have a list of your scopes, do i have to magically guess them?! just let me get the fucking dictionary and try every word!!!!!!!!!1
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Well, few days ago I got mine free swag. The stickers look AWESOME!
I really do like them, but since we have holidays, I'll put them on my notebooks in the next school's year.
Greetings from Gdańśk, Poland. Have a great holidays y'all reading this right now!4 -
Is it a bug if a user tries to do something they shouldn't be able to do and the program stops them but doesn't give an error message?1
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How do you choose the hostnames for your systems?
I usually name them after AIs from series, movies,games.13 -
Worst: Shitty puzzles which have nothing to do with logic, progressive solution, etc. You either know them or you don't.3
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Throughout my career I worked with quite some awesome engineers. However, only very few of them also do engineering as a hobby. (The shitty engineers obviously don't do it, otherwise they wouldn't be shitty.) Just thinking.5
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Why do everyone talk about fucking stickers?! I want some of them but don't have the financials! Gimme gimme :'(
16 -
What keyboard do you use on your phone?
Considering the fact that the companies that made them may be spying on you?3 -
How do you get your stickers?
Conventions?
Do you just buy them?
Also which sticker is your favorite (that you own)?
Is there a sticker you want, but can't seem to find?6 -
How do you guys manage your dotfiles? How do you organize them and prevent your home directory from filling up?7
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My worst common practice:
I do almost everything as root. Even programs which tell me not to run as root, I do run them as root.
What are yours?1 -
!rant
I am so stupid today that I actually go to foreign exchange and asked them wether do they accept bitcoin.6 -
If you ever have the pleasure of teaching kids (perhaps because they chose to stay home and pretend to be sick) teach them math.
Specifically teach them division. Have them divide 22/7.
Let them keep going until they ask 'when do we stop?'
And when they do, tell them: "you don't. It's an irrational fraction."9 -
Question for all clickbate ad app devs: how many apps do you churn out a year and what is the maintenance like for them?2
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I don't know why started some projects but i didn't finish them and i give up continuing on them
Why do I fail
How have the same problem hhhh -
Dear Instagram api, why do you need to review my app/client for displaying public posts by people? I mean people public-ed them.3
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!rant
Do you take your devRant stuff to work?
Don't you ever wonder whether they think that you are ranting about them on here? -
Do you teach your kids to code? Do they enjoy it? I think it'd be a great way to help Give them the tools to be successful early on. :)3
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Freelancers: How do you get your Clients? How do you convince them of what you can do for them? Any articles, tips, experiences and stories appreciated!8
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The thing that you have a million ideas for pet projects and that this blocks your brain so much that you can't do any of them...
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How do you deal with a client in which you have to frequently explain the changes they requested back to them?6
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I guess I should notify them that there is still some work to do on that website....
(other parts are in hungarian sorry for that :D)
3 -
btw I made an instagram account dedicated for my tangram designs ( I do a new one each day for the gf to guess ( w/o the weekends 4 her ) and tought I might as well share them with the not so big world ).
Almost all of them are made by me ( I do copy some from the net if I got lazy or forget to make a new one ( I do them the previous day ) ) so hopefully some of them are not on the net already
If you are interested to check it out : your_daily_dose_of_tangram ( and yeah, I know... but we all do it to some extend either way ;) )1 -
When you roll out a new system is disaster recovery testing on your roadmap? For example, do you do failover and have users work through a comprehensive test script and have them sign off before going into production?1
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How do you deal with your juniors when they do any mistakes? Do you praise them when they overcome any challenges they were facing? Do you blame them rather correcting them? Do you balance both praise and blame to them? Just curious. 😅5
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What do you hate about software and developer tutorials and how would you change them? What would totally disrupt the status quo with tutorials and make them easier to finish/useful/memorable/fun?5
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I've just tried those streams of Java 8. And I can't understand, how on Earth I didn't try them before. They're magnificent.
Hovewer I have some doubts about using them in production. I think no one else will be able to understand what code with streams do.2 -
Anyone who is working for Oracle here? If so what do you do and how you feel about working for them?4
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Just had my first app idea request from a friend. How do I tell them I'm not interested while being sincere?7
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Yeah, I have some friends, but none of them appreciates Yeoman like I do.
Fuck, they don't even know what it is. 😡😡😡1 -
how do free stickers work...You get 10 +1s on a single rant abs they mail them to you. Do they just ask for mailing address? The location field in profile does not seem long enough for most addresses.4
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I'd like to read your opinions about having a Master and or a PhD to develop cool machine learning projects. Do you think I could achieve great things without them? What advantages do you believe having those degrees have?4
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Working on new project, and reading "good practices" before starting the project and following them...
Until the client wants me to do it fast...
Fuck sakes -
How do you guys manage your Dotfiles ?
I'm searching for a better way than just including them into my backups.5 -
Hey :) I've started studying and I have to submit programming work together with some other students (who don't know much about programming) One of them has produced 70 lines of code to sum the numbers from 1 to n... How do I tell them they suck? And how do I help them improve?2
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Why do they keep sending me support related email when I clearly advised them to contact helpdesk support team directly.2
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I don't get the sticker thing, do you get them for free or something? Because then if understand the hype3
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WTF does a 'devops engineer' do all day? I have worked with them for over three years now, but I honestly wonder how they can do this full-time.12
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I wonder which is worse:
1. all day long every day doing things you MUST do and running out of hours in the day to do them all
2. all day long every day doing things you WANT to do and running out of hours in the day to do them all1 -
Now I have a problem
Do I stick them now or I do it on the laptop I'll buy next month?
I want to stick them and show the world this magnificent app!!
Thanks dfox & trogus!
You made my life better
3 -
My father gave me a couple smartphones to do whatever with.
So what do you guys think I should do with them?
I have an Alcatel onetouch and a Galaxy Core Prime.
So yeah, custom ROM? Tear them apart for parts? Hack them?
I'd love some ideas!5 -
When a person asks what do I do I tell them that I'm a cyber wizard.
It explains it well doesn't it ?
God damn muggles... -
Why do some hosting services with MySQL not allow triggers and stored procedures / functions?
Had never tried to use them and now I've done it and deployed a site, I discover I can't create triggers, and that some hosting provider don't allow users to do them... this is a rant but more of a question, as I didn't know and maybe there's lore to it you do know...1 -
Being black....It's workin' twice as hard as the people you know you're better than
'Cause you need to do double what they do so you can level them.1 -
Do you Place Easter eggs in your projects? If so, where and how do you place them on web projects? :P6
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Week : 48
How is the weekend going?
Have you ever had your heart broken? Do you still love them?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/108606296 -
"Bugs"
all these...
i got bugs
i got bugs in my room
bugs in my bed
bugs in my ears
their eggs in my head
bugs in my pockets
bugs in my shoes
bugs in the way i feel about you
bugs on my window
trying to get in
they don't go nowhere
waiting, waiting...
bugs on my ceiling
crowded the floor
standing, sitting, kneeling...
a few block the door
and now the question's:
do i kill them?
become their friend?
do i eat them?
raw or well done?
do i trick them?
i don't think they're that dumb
do i join them?
looks like that's the one
i got bugs on my skin
tickle my nausea
i let it happen again
they're always takin' over
i see they surround me, i see...
see them deciding my fate
oh, that which was once...was once up to me...
now it's too late
i got bugs in my room...one on one
that's when i had a chance
i'll just stop now
i'll become naked
and with the...i'll become one -
I always try to make problems more ... interesting, fancy, challenging. As soon as it gets boring, my mind is wandering.
Like now, when I wrote like a gazillion stored procedures, connected them to the back end classes, connected them to the new WCF service methods, connected them to the front end ... That's when I try to do anything but work.1 -
What do you think makes someone a senior software engineer? What qualities make them stand out from mid-level engineers?17
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Of the most beautiful things you do to your website, CSS is one of them. Writing it - not one. Exhausts you.
-
I have unsubscribed myself from the Apache Spark mailing list but I keep getting emails from them regarding PRs and comments on the repo. What do I do now? Block them or mark as spam?2
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I have not yet received the stickers from devrant since 3 months what shall I do? Shall I mail them again?
8 -
hey, how do you keep up with the migration files and git branches, i name them, how do you make sure the current branch has latest migration files so it does not break your application :)2
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Hey I got 30 ++ for a rant and I have never claimed stickers before. So what should I do to claim them?? Please help7
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TMW you go to a meeting to be presented to an idea you gave two meetings ago.
Them: what do you think, guys? We all onboard? -
What do you do when clients are not able to specify what they exactly want? Do we present them with one or more possible solutions?5
-
One for game developers. What do you do with assets to keep track of them ? Do you just store them in guy?
-
I don't... for some incredible reasons all of my friends are interested in what I do. I don't have any kind of problem with them. I just explained them that I have this passion that could take a lot of my time but if they need I'll be there for them.
-
Hi
maybe a stupid question :) I have two Django apps, I need one of them to use the functions of the other one without importing them. as if I am requesting them using API, is there a way I can get an instance of a function and use it, I don't want to do the following:
response = requests.get('HTTP://URL/example/', data)
data = response.json()
I want instead to do something like this
function = requests.get('HTTP://URL/example/')
and execute the function as follows
data = function()
thanks4 -
How do I get devrant sticker?
I have 50++ on a rant and i have mailed them but i didn't get any reply8 -
All the things Zohar planned for 2018, but I didn’t had enough time to do them. And probably a million new things.
-
Them new fangled MacBook Airs sure do look good. And this new version of MacOS looks tempting too. 🤔8
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I shake my head at companies who think sending me unsolicited emails/texts is going to encourage me to do business with them. :P3
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How do u catch up with trends in programming? Articles, magazines, Meetup ... please name them too1
-
Ohh my god am tired of TTY on this or god or god , shut them Mort shoot they don't feel pain shoot em do their bad programmers shoot them fast
-
Whenever people ask about my phone;
Them: what kind of phone is that
Me: OnePlus 3
Them: oh do you mean the 4
Me: :| -
Low code platforms. I've been studying them for a few months now and have been really surprised what one can do with them. Very productive stuff for many things even if not for everything. A wholehearted recommendation.
-
Why the fuck do people not reply all when I clearly added people for a real and even let them know...8
-
What alternative do you use for EF Migrations?
We are in current stage that it's slowing our build time for 30 seconds, and each month we need to clean them and do the same for the whole pipeline (dev, qa, prod)...
It's way uncomfortable to work with it since we have stored procedures and ef doesn't track them...
What alternative did you chose to use?1 -
Hurray for a goofy subtraction of all pain from my body yayyyy
Boo on the open bs they do
They forget I used to dick them lol
I just don't want them to have the likely unfair monstrous prices they don't even publish to do things enjoyably1 -
Do some devs think overly complicated code makes them look smart? Why aren't we taught to code efficiently instead of complicating the whole process?!
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